#And let's not get into TERF hate except to say things that make it clear it's stupid and wrong hateful poison

[hottakehoulihan]

Thank you for existing, trans men. Your very existence does so much good in so many ways, and we need you like we need trees and like the world needs the color green.

[velvetvexations]

I'm being stalked by someone who screams that I can't stop talking about her despite her having it made it clear she wants "no contact" and then screenshots my blog to spread more lies about me in spite of the fact that I have her blocked and block evading is supposed to be one of my grievous sins

like literally the most I have talked about her recently was with a coded name that doesn't even reference her URL in response to her taking a screenshot of my post and calling me pro-American because memes are hilarious but IRL seriously I would have preferred 9/11 not have happened

I am still not using her URL or her fucking name while she goes around saying VELVET VEXATIONS SHOULD DRINK BLEACH BECAUSE SHE SAID DONALD TRUMP DOESN'T BELIEVE TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN NOW EXCUSE ME I SAW MY LEAST FAVORITE COLOR AND NEED TO COMPOSE A MELINCHOLY POEM TO PROCESS THE GRIEF IT'S CAUSED ME

every time a transradfem equates discussing how transphobes feel about us is the same as misgendering other trans people, that's fucking pathetic assuming it's a genuine belief and not just something to performatively break into tears over as intoxicatingly self-righteous justification for thinking only the people they fetishize should be allowed to exist

but apparently! this person has another stalker who sends her posts to other people! and that's really interesting to me, you know, because the only post of her's I've ever received from an anon was one in which she was talking about me! And when that person came off anon to say it was them that sent it, she took a screenshot of that admission but did not include me telling them off for stirring shit

too bad I decided to delete the admission due them using her name and can't prove I gave them that dressing down, clearly I shouldn't have fucking bothered since innocence itself is no protection

she seriously can't stop calling me a TERF while actual no-bullshit TERFs are openly calling on one another to email publishers trying to get me canceled for writing a fanfic where it's briefly mentioned a trans teenager wore her sister's clothes without asking, what the fuck does any transradfem know about TERFs when I'm dealing with actual TERFs and all they are to them is an abstract concept used to bludgeon trans men and non-binary people with

these fucking people do not experience actual fucking problems, they do not have any conception of what an actual problem is, they sit around lying about the traitorous Queen of Tee Em Eees, puppet of the completely fictional AFAB patriarchy, because they do not have real problems and have never had one in their entire lives, like all fucking people who can't go five seconds without reminding you they're a communist because they think it's cool and trendy and makes them sound smart to say things like dialetic materialist epistemology transubstantiating within the imperial core of the glocal northsouth without actually engaging in any of the actual ideals that make communism laudable and worthy of sincere pursuit

the temptation is to say that transradfems do it because they feel powerless to do anything about actual social issues on any level and lash out at anyone they can feel good taking a swing at, but I don't give a fuck, I'm not willing to give them that they're just misguided, I don't think there's a single atom in the being of even one transradfem that cares about about anything beyond the clout they can extract from it, at best everything they whine about is less than a fourteen year old on Livejournal writing about how unfair it is when their parents won't let them get a tattoo except usually the the fourteen year old would be relaying actual events that actually happened

and I straight up do not fucking believe anyone gets hate mail over interactions I've had with them either, I fucking do not believe those obviously bullshit lies while I still get anons calling me zipperits and trying to trigger dysphoria on the assumption that works on me for saying I think transmascs aren't cis men

in fact, I kinna half-joked about it before, but I think I now just fully believe it one hundred percent was a fucking trans rad fem - probably even this one in particular! - who sent my published work to that TERF the other day, because I haven't had that pinned or brought it up in months and I've never gotten attention from TERFs before this month outside of one or two comments that went nowhere

motherfucking hellsite

fucking internet

fucking stupid motherfuckers

[sinnhelmingr]

@kingxfmischief: Me watching youtubers constantly get demonitized because they aren't Disney channel levels of family friendly. People on tiktok having to say le$bean because censors. Like they're trying to make it to the point that the entire internet is kid friendly, except porn websites. Meanwhile movies and tv get more violent and sexual. It's just...It's infuriating.

Ok but you’re absolutely right? It’s not even making things safer for kids, it’s a token attempt to show advertisers that they’re a safe bet. To them, it looks like blacklisting and banning certain (non-hate) terms and discussions solves the problem. If no one is able to talk about these things, they do not exist. Little Timmy can continue scrolling content clearly made for adults in peace and the site owners continue to suckle on that diseased capitalist teat.

In practice, you’re alienating all but the most milquetoast conservative adult userbase by refusing to let them moderate their own content intake and taking away any attempt to protect marginalized communities, including children. Being unable to talk about, for example, terfs and transphobia is not going to make terfs shut up or take transphobia off the internet -- it’s going to strangle those trying to give actual warnings or call out real situations. If someone who does hold these beliefs approaches and harasses someone, what is their victims recourse now? They can’t post about it, ask about it, and will probably side-eye any staff that has already made their stance clear even if only by inaction or negligence. There’s no real benefit to this except ad revenue for the site owners.

And, as you said, with more ‘adult’ media typically being found via film or television rather than the public internet, it seems to be incentivizing adults to pay for uncensored media via streaming. There’s something to be said about that, something something capitalism something something guillotine the mouse, but either way everyone’s getting preyed upon for trying to access content that isn’t for grade schoolers. I also worry with things like basic non-het sexuality being regarded as censorable, we’re heading towards another age of queerness in media just being a scandalous, titillating, hyper-sexualized ‘adult content’ thing seen on HBO at best.

Just in summary fuck Google fuck conservatism fuck Big Brother and fuck this moral uprising from the pearl-clutching execs.

[kuromichad]

different subject that’s heavy on my mind rn but since i’m already being harsh let’s get into it. i wish it wasn’t automatically presumed to be some kind of truscum attitude when someone tries to express that different parts of The Trans Community have like, different needs and different risk levels and different experiences and that we have the ability to talk over each other, harm each other, etc... like when i put it that way people generally are like ‘of course that’s true!’ but is it ever really understood in practice? a number of people (not a large enough number, but still) are able to loosely understand ‘you can be trans and transphobic’ when it’s applied to the matter of transmisogyny but when a trans person tries to express distrust of or frustration with afab nb people due to how common it is that that category of person will, despite being trans/nb, espouse bioessentialist, anti-medical-transition, radfem-adjacent if not outright cryptoterf rhetoric, suddenly ‘trans people can be transphobic’ gets applied to... the person with a complaint about transphobia. 

because he’s clearly an evil truscum man! regardless of if the person making the complaint is a trans man or trans woman, oops, lol. he’s a bad person who is attacking and invalidating and totally hatecriming the heckin’ valid, equally at-risk transgender identity of “an afab woman who isn’t a woman except when she pointedly categorizes themself as a woman because being afab makes them a woman who is ‘politically aligned’ with women but she’s not an icky unwoke cis woman because they don’t like being forced into womanhood although Really When You Think About It 🤔 all women are dysphoric because obviously the pathologized medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria in transgender people is something that equally applies to cis women just default existing under patriarchy 🤔, and no, equating these things totally does not imply anything reductive about or add a bizarre moral dimension to the idea of being transgender, whaaaaat, this woman who isn’t a woman doesn’t think there’s anything immoral or cowardly or misogynist or delusional about being transgender, they would never say that because THEY’RE transgender, except when she feels it’s important (constantly) to make clear that she’s Still A Woman Deep Down Inherently Despite Not Identifying As One, and none of this ever has any effect on how they treat the concept, socially and politically, of people who actually wholly identify with (and possibly medically transition to) a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth, be it ‘the opposite gender’ or abstaining from binary gender altogether or ‘politically aligning’ with the ‘opposite’ gender from their asab. never ever!”

and like maybe that sounds like a completely absurd and hateful strawman to you! but in that case you’re either like, lucky, or optimistic, or ignorant. i’m literally not looking at random nb people and declaring that in My Truscum Opinion they’re ‘really a woman’ just because they’re not medically transitioning or meeting some arbitrary standard of mine. i am looking at self-identified afab nb people, who most often use she/they because, y’know, words mean things, especially pronouns, so people who are willingly ‘aligned with womanhood’ typically intentionally use she/her (sorry that i guess that’s another truscum take now!!! that pronouns mean things!!! the bigender transmasc who deliberately uses exclusively he/him wants it to invoke a perception he’s comfortable with!), who actively say the things listed above (in a non-sarcastic manner). 

like, the line between a person who says “i don’t claim to really not be my asab because i know no one would ever perceive me as anything else” because theyve internalized a defeatist attitude due to societal transphobia, and a person who says that because they... genuinely believe it’s impossible/ridiculous/an imposition to truly be transgender (in the traditional trans sense, beyond a vague nb disidentification with gender) and are actively contributing to the former person’s self loathing... is hard to define from a distance! i think plenty of people who are, in a sense, ‘tentative’ or like ‘playing close to home’ so to speak in their identity are ‘genuinely trans’ (whatever that may mean) and just going through a process. they might arrive at a different identity or might just eventually stop saying/believing defeatist stuff, who knows. but there are enough people saying it for the latter reason, or at least not caring if they sound that way, that it’s like, dangerous. it is actively incredibly harmful to other trans people. and it’s fucking ridiculous that it’s so difficult to criticize because you’ll always get the defense of “umm but i’m literally trans” and/or “well i’m just talking about ME, this doesn’t apply to other trans people” when it’s an attitude that very clearly seeps into their politics and the way they discuss gender.

because it’s just incredibly common for afab nb people (most typically those that go by she/they! since i’m aware that uh, i am also afab nb, but we clearly are extremely different, so that’s the best categorization i’ve got) to discuss gender in moralized terms, with the excuse of patriarchy/misogyny existing, which of course adds another difficult dimension to trying to criticize this because it gets the response of “don’t act like misandry is real” (it’s not, but being a dick still is) and “boohoo, let women complain about their oppressors” (this goes beyond ‘complaining’). a deliberate revocation of empathy/sympathy/compassion from men and projection of inherently malicious/brutish/cruel intent onto men (not solely in the justified generalizations ‘men suck/are dangerous’, but in specific interactions too) underpin a whole fucking lot of popular posts/discussions online, whether they’re political or casual/social, and it absolutely influences how people conceptualize and feel about transness. 

because ‘maleness is evil’ is still shitty politics even when you’ve slightly reframed it from the terf ‘trans women are evil because they’re Really Men and can never escape being horrific soulless brutes just as women can never escape being fragile morally superior flowers’ to the tumblr shethey “trans women who are out to me/unclockable are tolerable i guess because they’re women and women are good; anyone i personally presume to be a cis man, though, is still automatically evil, and saying trans men are Just As Bad is progressive of me, and it’s totally unrelated and apolitical that i think we should expand the concept of afab lesbianism so broadly that you can now be basically indistinguishable from trans men on literally every single level except for a declaration of ‘but i would never claim to be a man because i’m secure in the Innate Womanhood of the body i was born into, even as i medically alter that body because it causes me great gendered discomfort.’ none of this at all indicates that i feel there’s an immense moral/political gap between being an afab nb lesbian vs a straight trans man! it says nothing at all about my concept of ‘maleness’ and there’s no way this rhetoric bleeds into my perception of trans women and no way loudly talking about all this could keep trans people around me self-loathing and closeted, because i’m Literally Trans and Not A Terf!”

again, if that sounds like a hateful strawman, sorry but it’s not. i guess i’m supposed to be like ‘all of the many people ive seen saying these shitty things is an evil outlier who Doesn’t Count, and it’s not fair to the broad identity of afab shethey to not believe that every person who doesn’t outright say terfy enough things is a perfectly earnest valid accepting trans person who’s beyond criticism’ but like. this cannot be about broad validation. this can’t be about discarding all the bad apples as not really part of the group. we can’t be walking on eggshells to coddle what are essentially, in the end, Cis Feelings, because in the best cases this kind of rhetoric comes from naive people who are early and uncertain in their gender journey or whatever and are in the process of unraveling internalized transphobia, and in the easily observable worst cases these people are very literally redefining shit so that ‘actually all afab women are trans, spiritually, all afabs have dysphoria, we are all Equally oppressed by Males uh i mean cis men <3’ because, let’s be honest, they know that the moment they call themselves trans they get to say whatever they want about gender no matter how harmful it is to the rest of us. and those ideas spread like wildfire through the afab shethey “woman that’s not a woman” community that frankly greatly outnumbers other types of trans people online, because many of those people just do not have the experiences that lead you to really understand this shit and have to push back against concepts of gender that actively harm you as a trans person.

like that’s all i want to be able to say, is Things Are Different For Different Groups. and a willful ignorance of these differences leads to bad rhetoric controlling the overall discourse which gets people hurt. and even when concepts arise from it that seem positive and helpful and inclusive, in practice or in origin those ideas can still be upholding shit that gets other people hurt. like, i don’t doubt that many people are very straightforwardly happy and comfortable with an identity like ‘afab nb lesbian on testosterone’ and it would be ridiculous and hypocritical for me, ‘afab nb who wants to pass as a guy so he can comfortably wear skirts again,’ to act like that’s something that can’t or shouldn’t exist. it’s not about the identity itself, it’s about the politics that are popular within its community, and how the use of identities as moral labels with like, fucking pokemon type interactions for oppression effectiveness which directly informs the moral correctness of your every opinion and your very existence, is a shitty practice that gets people hurt and leads us to revoke empathy from each other.

like. sorry this is all over the place and long and probably still sounds evil because i haven’t thought through and disclaimered every single statement. but i’m like exhausted from living with this self-conscious guilt that maybe i’ve turned into a horrible evil truscum misogynist etc etc due to feeling upset by this seemingly inescapable approach to gender in lgbt/online circles that like, actively harms me, because when i vent with my friends all the stuff i’ve tried to explain here gets condensed down to referencing ‘she/theys’ as a category and that feels mean and generalizing and i genuinely dislike generalizations but the dread i feel about that category gets proven right way too often. it’s just like. this is not truscum this is not misgendering this is not misogyny. this is not about me decreeing that all transmascs have to be manly enough or dysphoric enough and all nbs have to be neatly agender and androgynous or something, i’m especially not saying that nb gender isn’t real lmao or even that it’s automatically wrong to partially identify with your asab; this is not me saying you can only medically transition for specific traditional reasons or that you don’t get a say on anything if you aren’t medically transitioning for whatever reason, now or ever. i just. want to be allowed to be frank about how... when there’s different experiences in a community we should like. acknowledge those differences and be willing to say that sometimes people don’t know what they’re talking about or that what they’re saying is harmful. without the primary concern being whether people will feel invalidated by being told so. because these are like, real issues, that are more important than politely including everyone, because that method is just getting vulnerable people drowned out constantly.

[robotslenderman]

Ewww getting big privileged homophobe vibes from you. Blocking now.

Thank God.

I doubt you'll ever read this, but just in case hate-reading is your thing - I don't know why you bothered with anon. You're obviously not a follower because I talk about how queer I am here ALL THE TIME. I saw many queerphobes on that queer post, and even visited a few of their blogs. (Most of them were TERFs, except one - you, who claimed to be a trans dude. Maybe you are! Maybe you're not a TERF posing as a trans dude and you really are okay with being part of a movement absolutely dominated by TERFs!)

But there was only one that I left a comment on. You'd posted about how queer people are so horrible to call ourselves queer. Like the anthropomorphic personification of class and tact that I am, I trolled you by asking if my queer presence made you uncomfortable.

Clearly, it did. :)

So go ahead. Call me the first mean name that comes to your head, as if it bothered me what a random totally-not-anon thinks I am. I'm totally fine with queerphobes thinking my existence is homophobic, because the only way they'd understand otherwise is if I pretended I wasn't queer. My alleged homophobia is latched on to my identity as a queer person. The only way you would not accuse me of being homophobic is if I stopped calling myself queer.

So you use my very identity as a weapon against me. I am queer, and I am attached to not being a homophobe. You know that queer people do not want to be perceived as something they hate completely by anyone, strangers included, especially on a website where people harass first and listen later (if at all). So you hold us hostage - deny our queerness, and you'll drop your weapon. You'll drop the word "homophobic" and stop pointing it at me.

I'm not gonna cave to this.

Nor am I going to write an outraged essay about how I'm not homophobic. You know perfectly fucking well that not a SINGLE queer person is straight. You know perfectly fucking well that most queer people are same sex attracted or attracted to enbies. You know perfectly fucking well that queer people have accepted that part of us and aren't dealing with internalised homophobia or inflicting it on other people because we ACKNOWLEDGE our queerness and you can see this, otherwise you wouldn't be getting mad about it. In a homophobic society everyone has a degree of it, but by being what we are we have less of it than the great majority.

You know this perfectly well. Don't fucking pretend otherwise, I would have to believe that you are well and truly and sincerely STUPID to think for one second that you think I'm a straight person or a closeted gay person who's lashing out with malicious homophobia. Real homophobia, not "this person is part of a minority I am bigoted against, so I will claim they are inherently homophobic unless they get back in the closet or categorise themself in a way that allows me to fine tune my bigotry appropriately."

Because let's be real. Queer hasn't been used as a slur in decades and was reclaimed before I was even born. "Gay" was the slur of the time when I was growing up, but people like you never had a problem with that. Why? Because gay is clear cut and well defined. The problem people like you have with queers like me - the REAL problem, not the faux outraged you have made up about my label - is that queer means I have declined your insistence to more accurately categorise myself.

I mean, how else would you know specifically how to treat me? I could be bi and you might hate bi people, but if I'm a gay queer you don't want to aim the wrong type of bigotry at me by mistake - not because you care about gay people (you don't, because many gay people are also queer), but because you don't want to make yourself look silly by aiming the wrong type of bigotry at me. I could be queer because I'm an enby, and maybe you're truescum that would despise me for it, but you don't KNOW whether or not I'm an enby and that drives you mad! You don't want to risk alienating people who care about you by shitting on someone they might not agree is an acceptable target, so you target every queer and claim it's about a word when really, many queer people seek refugee under that term to hide from people like you, and you don't like that we can hide from you, so you try to strip our shelter away from us.

(And let's be honest. You probably don't even actually hate us. You're probably just afraid. Afraid of some identity you don't really understand because you've never taken the time to get to know us, or afraid that society will accept you less if we're "competing" for acceptance and so take some of the spotlight... I won't shit on you for fear, anon. We are all afraid of something. But I absolutely have a problem with how you're choosing to knowingly hurt people to cope with it. You called me "homophobe" to hurt me. There was no other way to possibly interpret the context of what you were saying. You meant to do this.)

So take away queer. Take away the shelter of queer. Force every queer person to divulge, upfront, who they are that makes them friends with queer. Force them out of the closet and pretend THAT'S not homophobic.

Send the gay queers back to the L and G of LGBT, let the TERFs flush out the trans people who are queer because they're trans* and shoo them away from LGBTQ spaces. Or maybe you really are trans, but you want to kick out straight trans people, or enbies, or pan people, or bi people, or ace people, or, one of the many populations that make up the true queer community.

* Not all trans people are queer, but many are BECAUSE they're trans. I would say "many are queer because they identify as queer" because that makes it sound like queerness isn't an inherent part of who we are and gives people like you ammo I have no interest in supplying you with. "Aha! So you CHOOSE to be a slur!" I just know you'd completely ignore everything I said to the contrary and say that.

Yes. The true queer community.

We've told you again and again that we're not calling you queer. We've told you again and again, if you're not queer, you're not part of the queer community. You're LGBT+, not queer. I'm not part of the LGBT+ community, I'm part of the queer community.

The queer community is not the true community of people who aren't straight and cis, that's not what I'm saying. We're not any more or less LGBT+ than you. I'm not invalidating the identities of people who aren't straight and/or cis, because they are who they are, and you don't need to be queer to be LGBT+. But we are the true queer community in that we are queer, and people who are LGBT+ but are not queer are not queer. Only queer people are queer.

("But people use queer community as an umbrella term to mean people who aren't queer, but are still LGBT+!" Buddy, if I have to deal with being called LGBT all the time even though it's not true, while having the people who use LGBT obviously mean me too because I'm not straight, then you can live with it too. That's mostly straights doing that, in which case you have no reason to get mad at US, or people who are are making something for a straight audience or a questioning audience, in which case they're making it accessible because not everyone knows the nuance of queer and LGBTALPHABETSOUP discourse. Or even - and I know this thought is incomprehensible to you, as the centre of the universe - it's actually referring to queer people and queer people only, not LGBT+ who aren't queer. Actually, I love that idea! Queer history is now history of queer people, no non-queer LGBT+ allowed :D)

I've never felt LGBT+ even when I thought I was one of the main four letters. But I've always felt queer, even as my understanding of my specific brand of queerness changed. Queer is an umbrella term that is opt in, that covers any and all LGBT+ people who know they are queer too, who know they're one of us, or who simply choose to call themselves queer for whatever fucking reason they want. Some of us are intrinsically queer, some choose to be queer because of the inclusiveness or relative opacity of the term, and you don't know which one a queer person is unless you have earned our trust enough for us to tell you.

And people like you fucking hate that.

So you know what?

I'm totally fine with you calling me a homophobe because the people who actually know more about me than the few sentences I've given you know that that's a joke, and their good opinion matters more to me than yours.

I'm totally fine with you calling me a homophobe because because it means I've won. I've gotten under your skin, just as your bigotry got right under mine. You're furious you can't categorise me. You're pissed off that I could be one of the LGBT+ people you actively dislike and want out of the LGBT+ community, but are finding a hell of a lot harder to flush out of the queer community because we all look the same at first glance and refuse to give you information you feel entitled to. Because it's easy to force people out of the closet in the LGBT+ community, but much fucking harder in a meritocracy like the queer community. To get into the LGBT+ community, you have to tell them which one you are. Queer? No questions asked, cause you already told us all we needed to know! Welcome home!

But let's say this is all a strawman.

That you really are some well meaning person who has nothing against the more obscure queer identities and that you really do just have a problem with the word. That you truly do think that queer people, the great majority of which experience same sex attraction, are... somehow... homophobic just for using the word despite their advocacy against homophobia and total acceptance of that aspect of themselves and others. That our fight for marriage equality and employment and housing protections and human rights is rendered COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY IRRELEVANT because we used a word that Boomers and even some of gen X hurled at each other because a guy was a little bit girly, or a girl refused to grow her hair long, or because men were scared that a man would treat them the way they treated women. (Because queer as an archaic slur, ultimately, comes from misogyny as much as homophobia.)

Let's say you really do mean well and really do know people who were called queers instead of fags, or you really did grow up hearing "that is so queer" to describe things people didn't like, or you really did have "queer" hurled at you by straight people as if there was something wrong with you for not being cis and straight.

(Notice something, there? You probably haven't actually experienced any of that, nor anyone you know. This wank about who I am as a queer person - it's always aimed at us. Never the straights that used it against us. Nobody uses the word queer except queer people any more, I am 99% certain that you don't know ANYBODY who has had it thrown at them AS a slur, so that means that the only people you can target on your crusade are... gender and sexual minorities. Not cis/straight people. Because they're not calling us queers and haven't in decades.

That means you are knowingly targeting minorities over this EXCLUSIVELY, I am completely fucking certain..

... but I'M the homophobe?)

In which case all I can say is: I hope that the well-meaningness that's made you put this hateful thing into my inbox, that's made you say such hateful things to a minority because of their identity (there's a word for treating people differently because they're a minority, especially hostile treatment..), will outshine the hatefulness of what you're saying and lead you to a better way to express your desire to protect people.

If you truly are coming from a misplaced belief that we're somehow deprecating ourselves by being queer, and not a desire to force us out of the closet or to run off any gender or sexual minority, then I apologise for my hostility, acknowledge that learning takes time (and patience that I am unable to give, for I am tired of bad actors pretending they're not and cannot do it), and wish you the best in learning to be inclusive and loving so we can count you one day, at least, as a friend of us queer folk. Maybe one day we'll even welcome you as one of us. I'd love to do that more than I'd like to deal with THIS crap. I can't imagine me going off on you will have helped at all, but from in my experience people who want to protect gender and sexual minorities protect them. They don't target them. That's why I am writing this post under the assumption that you wrote this because you have bad intentions towards me as a queer person, and not out of a well meaning desire to protect anyone you think I've somehow hurt by being me.

In which case? Get fucked.

[omnia-vanitas-96]

✨Ok so, just in case my mini bio wasn’t clear enough...✨

👶 <18s/MAPs DNI I do NOT support MIK (Minors in Kink for those who do not know!) 👶

❌Untitled/Blank bio blogs DNI!❌

💔DNI if you think it’s acceptable to delete captions off peoples NSFW content and repost! 💔

Since my blog is catnip for TERFs for some reason let me say again, a bit louder for you ... TERFS/SWERFS DNI, y’all are nasty. 🤢 Trans and sex workers lives matter and if you say otherwise I will ✨ curbstomp you✨

Speaking of nasty!

🦄 UNICORN HUNTERS DNI - I AM NOT A SEX TOY, get some couples counselling or a hitachi ya fuckin freaks 🦄

PRO ANA/ED/FEEDER FETISH BLOGS DNI

♠️❌ QUEENS OF SPADES/SNOWBUNNIES/ OTHER RACEPLAYERS/PEOPLE WHO THINK RACISM IS KINKY DNI ❌♠️

Anti-capitalist, Anti-alt right, ACAB & BLM and not changing my mind about it no matter how much you yell at me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

🪐 If you would like to DM me or send an ask;

❌🛑 DO NOT DM ME IF YOU EXPECT TO RECEIVE NUDES FROM ME, I WILL LOSE MY SHIT IF YOU ASK 🛑❌

⛔️Do not DM me your nudes right away!

🛑Do not DM me using honourifics straight away! Massive red flag and just makes me super uncomfortable tbh, like best case I’ll just block you, worst case I’ll go off and then block you.

💢Do not immediately enter into conversations of a sexual nature with me! (Unless you’re asking a question that is sexual in nature)

🚫Do not DM me if you’re looking for a sugar baby!

🛑Do not DM me if you are 50+ you can still follow and I’m not necessarily anti age gap for everybody, interacting with people who are significantly older than me just kinda makes me a touch anxious is all.

💔 Break the rules, instant block, no exceptions. 💔

✳️ I like/reblog CNC content occasionally, but enthusiastic consent is important and not optional! (Same goes for aftercare!) ✳️

🤢 I am extremely anti rape/pedophilia/bestiality/necrophilia/incest 🤢

I AM DOUBLING DOWN ON ☝️ THAT POINT AND BECOMING QUITE VOCAL ABOUT IT, IF ANY PRO BLOGS APPEAR ON MY RADAR I WILL THROW HANDS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. STOP HIDING BEHIND THE “It’s just muh fantasies uwu” WHEN TALKING ABOUT ACTUAL CRIMES.

🤡 Gate-keeping kink boomers who tell me “I’m not really kinky” and “don’t belong in THEIR community” for not condoning literally every fetish INCLUDING THE ILLEGAL/HARMFUL ONES are not welcome here, I hate the lot of you, you do not belong in MY community and I hope you all get doxxed/pushed in a well/stung by a great many bees 🤡

Onto the positives 🥰

My blog is POC, trans, NB, sex worker friendly! 💖

My blog is a safe space for people of all sexual orientations including ace and aro friends (STILL NOT FOR MAPs) 💜

My blog is safe for poly and polycurious people 💕

My blog is a safe space for people who are disabled/mentally ill! 💟

My blog is supportive of bodies that are all colours, shapes and sizes! 🖤

My blog is open to/accepting of people of all religions! (so long as you don’t use religion as an excuse to harm others on my watch/in my space!) 💘

If you don’t like any of these ⬆️ things, my blog is not for you so ... leave?

🦋 If you feel the need to kick off in my asks/DMs about my opinions on wether or not certain people deserve to live their lives happily and comfortably, you’re gonna get blocked. 🦋

🌸 Yelling at me/verbally abusing me is NOT going to change my opinion. 🌸

I do not negotiate with racists, homophobes, exclusionists, transphobes, assorted garbage of other varieties. 🤷🏻‍♀️

🌺 My DMs and asks are super open, safe and non judgemental (so long as you aren’t creepy/horrible), please feel free to reach out and chat to me! 🌺

🔮 I don’t have a massive base of experience (so please do not take my word on kink stuff as gospel!) but feel free to ask me questions about kink/sex (politely) and I’ll do my best to answer and or pass your question on to someone I trust with more experience who knows the answer. 🔮

Single, not currently in a dynamic and very much interested in making new friends/networking/talking shop with likeminded members of the kink community but I��d appreciate being spoken to like a human being who is your equal! 😡

🌷 I’m a service sub/pet (pup) and soft/service/caregiver domme in practice and I’m curious about cg/l, other types of pet play, primal and shibari if you’d like to chat about kink stuff 🌷

⚜️ Please notify me if you want something tagged or I have reblogged something of yours without proper permission/credits/captions, as I take those things really seriously and would never intentionally not credit! ⚜️

🙇🏻‍♀️ Thank you in advance for respecting my boundaries and please enjoy your time in my little corner of the internet! 🙇🏻‍♀️

[smartbutuncertified]

So. Today I read J.K. Rowling’s essay on trans people.

I could spend hours finding sources to debunk what she said. I could yell until my fingers are tired that trans women are women, trans men are men, and nonbinary people are valid. I could cry. I could leave it to others. It’s been a long few months. I’m tired.

But I’m a trans man. I can see how she’s weaponizing our existence against our trans sisters. I can’t let that pass.

A lot of the discussion around TERFs revolves around trans women, and for good reason. TERF’s hatefulness is primarily directed at AMAB trans people, especially transfem ones, because of the mistaken belief that they are men invading women’s spaces. All that they are doing is striving to be treated as who they are instead of who others say that they are.

Because of this, much of the pushback against TERFs comes from a place of support of and defense for trans women. This has led to the TERFs developing a tactic that I’m going to name “Dysphoric ‘women’ in distress.”

Persistently attacking a group without clearly defending someone is a great way to get panned for being unreasonable. TERFs don’t want to be seen as a hate movement, so they focus their vitriol on trans women, and attempt to sweep trans men and AFAB nonbinary people under their banner. They’re protecting all “females”, see? No bigotry here.

Here’s a few passages from Rowling’s essay about trans men, and about biological sex, in the order that they appear. The bolding is mine.

“Ironically, radical feminists aren’t even trans-exclusionary – they include trans men in their feminism, because they were born women.”

“The fourth is where things start to get truly personal. I’m concerned about the huge explosion in young women wishing to transition and also about the increasing numbers who seem to be detransitioning (returning to their original sex), because they regret taking steps that have, in some cases, altered their bodies irrevocably, and taken away their fertility.“

“The UK has experienced a 4400% increase in girls being referred for transitioning treatment. Autistic girls are hugely overrepresented in their numbers.“

“The writings of young trans men reveal a group of notably sensitive and clever people.  The more of their accounts of gender dysphoria I’ve read, with their insightful descriptions of anxiety, dissociation, eating disorders, self-harm and self-hatred, the more I’ve wondered whether, if I’d been born 30 years later, I too might have tried to transition. The allure of escaping womanhood would have been huge. “

“I’ve read all the arguments about femaleness not residing in the sexed body, and the assertions that biological women don’t have common experiences, and I find them, too, deeply misogynistic and regressive. It’s also clear that one of the objectives of denying the importance of sex is to erode what some seem to see as the cruelly segregationist idea of women having their own biological realities or – just as threatening – unifying realities that make them a cohesive political class. “

Trans men are not women. We are not girls. We are mostly AFAB, with some intersex and CAFAB men as well.

As an autistic trans man, autistic people may be more likely to transition, but that doesn’t mean that our transitions are less valid or more suspect. To say otherwise is both ableism and infantalization.

Lastly, the idea of womanhood being biological is as deeply offensive to us as it is to trans women. We share a lot of the health risks and need for reproductive rights and justice that cis women do, but this does not make us women. Trans women are women, not us.

Trans men are not delusional women to be protected from ourselves. We are not part of any “class” of women. This sickly sweet “compassion” because we “were born women” is not something that we support or want any part of. We are not and never will be women. The only people we’re in danger from are transphobes like Rowling.

This is not to say that trans men face the same things as trans women.

Trans women face a whole section of transphobia that transmasc people are exempt from, transmisogny. They are disproportionately targeted by TERFs and other transphobes.

Compare what she says about trans women to the statements about trans men. Again, the bolding is mine.

“Magdalen was an immensely brave young feminist and lesbian who was dying of an aggressive brain tumour. I followed her because I wanted to contact her directly, which I succeeded in doing. However, as Magdalen was a great believer in the importance of biological sex, and didn’t believe lesbians should be called bigots for not dating trans women with penises, dots were joined in the heads of twitter trans activists, and the level of social media abuse increased.“

“Examples of so-called TERFs range from the mother of a gay child who was afraid their child wanted to transition to escape homophobic bullying, to a hitherto totally unfeminist older lady who’s vowed never to visit Marks & Spencer again because they’re allowing any man who says they identify as a woman into the women’s changing rooms. “

“I happen to know a self-described transsexual woman who’s older than I am and wonderful. Although she’s open about her past as a gay man, I’ve always found it hard to think of her as anything other than a woman, and I believe (and certainly hope) she’s completely happy to have transitioned. Being older, though, she went through a long and rigorous process of evaluation, psychotherapy and staged transformation. The current explosion of trans activism is urging a removal of almost all the robust systems through which candidates for sex reassignment were once required to pass. A man who intends to have no surgery and take no hormones may now secure himself a Gender Recognition Certificate and be a woman in the sight of the law.”

“But, as many women have said before me, ‘woman’ is not a costume. ‘Woman’ is not an idea in a man’s head.”

“So I want trans women to be safe. At the same time, I do not want to make natal girls and women less safe. When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman – and, as I’ve said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside.”

“On Saturday morning, I read that the Scottish government is proceeding with its controversial gender recognition plans, which will in effect mean that all a man needs to ‘become a woman’ is to say he’s one. To use a very contemporary word, I was ‘triggered’. Ground down by the relentless attacks from trans activists on social media, when I was only there to give children feedback about pictures they’d drawn for my book under lockdown, I spent much of Saturday in a very dark place inside my head, as memories of a serious sexual assault I suffered in my twenties recurred on a loop. That assault happened at a time and in a space where I was vulnerable, and a man capitalised on an opportunity.  I couldn’t shut out those memories and I was finding it hard to contain my anger and disappointment about the way I believe my government is playing fast and loose with womens and girls’ safety.“

Things to note:

She was concerned about trans men undergoing voluntary hormones and surgeries because they “have, in some cases, altered their bodies irrevocably, and taken away their fertility.”, but is repeatedly horrified by the idea that trans women could be considered women without them.

She is consistently pitching the narrative that trans women’s interests are men’s interests and in conflict with women’s interests.

The misgendering is about equal in both sections, but in this one, the misgendering is intentionally framed as trans women being deceitful men, whereas trans men are framed as women and “girls” in distress. Notice that the trans women are always “men”, never “boys”, for maximum implicit threat.

“’woman’ is not a costume” is a huge red flag. Trans women aren’t wearing costumes, they’re living their lives as women.

The narrative she’s weaving is that trans men are misled women who need help and protection, and trans women are potentially predatory men. She leaves caveats, such as the “self-described transsexual woman”, but even she is referred to as a former man, and we don’t know how that trans woman feels about that. She’s being used as a prop, framed as an exception.

This is all transphobia, and heavily leans towards transmisogyny.

In short:

Trans men aren’t interested in you persecuting our sisters to “defend” us. Fuck off, Rowling.

[fuji09]

So I debated whether or not to post this in fear of getting more hatemail, but this post isn't for those who sent me hatemail. This post is for my friends/mutuals and followers.

I'm sure a lot of y'all know what happened Sunday, when all hell broke loose by Bill Hader haters and I was attacked all day. Because of that, it was hard for me to properly articulate everything I was trying to say. I don't want my friends thinking I'm racist or transphobic.

1. I'm NOT a blackface apologist. I know how fucking wrong that is. I know there is a post still going around with my face saying I am, I have reported the post and still waiting to hear back.

2. I never said I accepted Bill's apology to the black community. What I did say is he apologized to the black community, changed what he did, and never did racist shit again so I felt he learned from his mistake and I felt ok with being a fan of his.

3. I never said I expect everyone to accept his apology, that is your prerogative whether you do so or not.

4. I did not get mad at someone calling Bill ugly. I see that all the time and I don't care, everyone is attracted to different things, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some will find him hot, some will find him cute, some will not care either way, and some will find him ugly.

5. What I DID get upset about was people being rude and judging those who found him attractive. I mean talking absolute shit about anyone who even remotely liked him. THAT is what I found wrong.

6. I am NOT a terf. I fully support trans people. I love my trans friends, and I fight for trans rights. I have cut people out of my life who are transphobic, I have called out transphobia many times and will continue to do so. Trans men are men. Trans women are women.

7. I fucking hate J.K. Rowling. She is a gross transphobic person. The things I have seen her say or do disgusts me.

8. I'm not as big of a Harry Potter fan as I was made out to be. I do like it but I'm not like all about it. I don't blog about it, I haven't given a cent to buying merch since the author let the world know she is a transphobe, and I'm not always talking about it.

9. I had put "Slytherin" in my bio almost a decade ago. I rarely update my bio, usually just my age and whoever made the art for my header. Also the stuff under the drop down hardly gets seen by me so honestly I forget what's in that part.

10. I don't always know the terminology for stuff. There are so many acronyms, terms, phrases, for the lgbtqia+ community and new ones are always coming out. A lot even look the same. I also have a hard time remembering shit, so just because I don't know or don't remember what something means, doesn't mean I don't care. I DO care and I try to learn what I can when I can. I'm not always going to know it all, but I do my best to learn when I can.

11. Sending insults, death threats, wishing for my death, shaming me, and twisting my words is not going to make me agree with you. That doesn't work with anyone and the only thing they will remember you saying is those hateful things, not the message you're trying to give.

12. When I brought up the fact I am also a poc, it wasn't on a post someone sent me or on any post about anti-blackness. It was my own post expressing my frustration on how I'm being treated like I've never experienced racism when I grew up in it. That is something that is incredibly frustrating to me because even though I'm paler than most Hispanics and Native Amercians, I still experienced racism growing up. My last name was Diaz before I got married, my dad is darker than me, and we were one of the few Hispanic families in the church I grew up in, a white church. There was only one black family in that church. I wasn't seen as white, I was teased a lot, didn't have a lot of friends, except guess who, one of the other Hispanic girls. I wasn't seen as white until I married a white man and took his white last name. Also didn't help I didn't go outside as much so I did get a little paler than I used to be.

13. I understand the racism experienced by black people is different from the racism experienced by Hispanic people, which is different from the racism experienced by Asian people, which is different from the racism experienced by indigenous/Native people, which is different from the racism experienced by Middle Eastern people. It's still racism and its all wrong. But we shouldn't be against each other when the system is always against us and tries to pit us against each other with who gets it worse.

So yeah. I really hope that clears up shit. If I get one hateful message I'm blocking the message and turning anon off again.

[neurotichunter]

Yes, I don't read the news anymore. Yes, i don't give a fuck anymore. I know the system is shit as fuck. I have been saying this for years and years. I have tried to educate ppl on the idea of real anarchism (not the one on TV), I've tried to tell them how capitalism is bad, I have tried to convince them that we need a big change and that it starts with every little single gesture. I have watched my politically active (former) friends rip each other apart in endless running battles over some minor shit, e.g. "is 'fuck yourself' politically correct". I have tried to tell ppl that political activism from the left needs to be more "ppl friendly" - leftists are seen as the enemy not only by the state, but first and foremost by society. We can be radical when the revolution is over, but we will have to fight our own ppl if we want a revolution that makes it look like as if we wanted to take something away from "normal" ppl. As long as the state has the power to kill ppl, we need to be smarter than the state. Yes, violence is the answer, but it has to be used wisely. Read books by Gustav Landauer and such, you'll learn a lot about "Eigenverantwortung" (to act in a self-responsible manner) and "Fremdverantwortung" (to be responsible towards others).

Long story short, I'm tired. I'm tired of ppl fighting over pronouns, over whether or not ppl belong in any community, over the tiniest bullshit instead of just leaving ppl be and worry abt the bigger picture. Nobody can make assumptions about things like gender, culture, society and so on IN GENERAL. The general basis must be: Don't be an asshole, let ppl live, do no harm. Everything else must be dealt with in the tiny spaces problems occur. You're running a safe space of any kind for women*? You make the rules for only this space, not in general. In your space there are no transwomen allowed bc you decided so to avoid triggers for cis-women rape victims bc you have your reasons and made them clear? Great. Do that. It is your right to do so. BUT PLEASE DON'T GO ON THE INTERNET OR ELSEWHERE AND BE A TERF! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??? YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE WHAT OTHER PPL THINK. If there are transwomen in your community who want to join - talk to them. Figure something out. Resolve problems where they occur!! Use the internet to educate ppl who generalize. Nobody gets to do that.

Racism in your community? Do something! Use the internet? Great! BUT PLEASE DON'T ASSUME EVERY WHITE PERSON IS CONSTANTLY RACIST. THAT'S A GENERALIZATION AND JUST NOT TRUE. In Europe, we had Nazis since the late 1900s. And we have fraught them ever since. Not only in Germany, but in Italy, Spain, etc. as well. We dealt with our history. Not always in a good way, but at least we tried. I have been on marches against the NPD in Germany when I was as young as 15 or so. We skipped school to go to demonstrations. I am tired of being called a racist by a Tumblr community which can't look past the boarders of their own country. Dear ppl from the USA, there is a world out there! And where we're already at it, in Europe we've had an Antifa-movement for decades, it is deeply rooted in our history. Nice of you to discover this now, but please, don't try to educate us abt our own movement. And also, anarchism is not something you recently invented. Just so you know. I'M NOT SAYING, EVERY PERSON FROM THE US THINKS LIKE THAT, I'M NOT GENERALIZING, BUT THE ONES I'M TALKING ABT WILL KNOW.

Also, I'm sick and tired of leftists of all kinds, may they be Antifa, activists, idc, telling me I'm not enough - not radical enough, not punk enough, not woke enough, not feminist enough, not idk what else enough. That is the reason I'm not in any political motivated groups anymore bc they are as restrictive and narrow minded as the ppl they're working against. If you don't take in any ally, you will not succeed in the revolutionary plans you have, bc, like I said earlier, you will always fight against your own ppl.

I am just sick and tired. I know that how I see the world politically and in general is the "right" way (as in not racist, not sexist, and so on so forth), but I will not continue to be told otherwise just bc I say: we have the same goal, I just think there is another way to get there. The path might be different, but that doesn't mean it is a better one. We just need to go many ways to get to where we want to go.

I can't tell you how done I am. The amount of done-ness is amazing. I can't take any more bullshit.

I am tired of fighting. I am tired of being accused. I am tired of having to defend myself against "my own ppl". I will fight every racist, sexist, etc. person to the last bit, but I am tired of wanting the right thing and still being excluded.

I'm done. I will lay my weary head to rest now.

(I will not discuss anything written here. You can hate me for that. I don't care. This is my personal opinion, resulting from my personal experiences. I am very disappointed of how certain ppl treated me, and this is just a sweeping blow in any and all directions. I don't mean any specific person, it is nothing personal, except if you're a terf, a racist, or in any other way an asshole.)

[foresthearth]

Review: “Witch”, by Lisa Lister

Coming in three years after publication, ‘cause that’s how I roll.

Okay, I have to mention, I HATE these matte covers that pick up fingerprints like you wouldn’t believe. Ugh. Why do this to me and my greasy little hands?!

Moving on.

TL;DR: If you are a cisgender, AFAB woman with a fully functioning reproductive system, who finds this fact to be intrinsic to your parsing of femininity and spirituality, this book will probs be great for you.

Everyone else? This book is bad. Yes, there is some nuance to this and the WHY of its badness (and all reviews are subject to reviewer bias), but overall, in summation? It’s bad.

To start off, the kinda dubious but overall not so bad: it doesn’t really tell you anything. It bills itself as sort of a cultural studies text crossed with an intro to witchcraft; however, for me, it fails at both. As a textbook, it does not cite sources, though there is a “Bookshelf” section at the end – the text itself, however, really just serves as a place for Lister to talk about her perceptions of the female and feminine power throughout history. Which in and of itself is FINE, but don’t say you’re going to explain “the history behind witchcraft” (literally in the back cover blurb) and not actually back that history up with sources. You can talk all you want about persecution of women, but when putting it in a specific context such as the age of witch trials, or referring to societies that used to venerate women before the patriarchy took hold, it really helps to have some primary or secondary source to back up what you’re saying. You may think that we’re all drawing from a common knowledge, but not everyone has access to that knowledge pool, nor has the same background and learning. Just back up what you’re saying, or even just reference further reading that people can do if they want to learn more about what you’re pulling from. (I compare this to one of my books on Queer Magic – it also doesn’t have a bibliography, but that is due to the fact that it IS primary source material, essays from queer folks on *their magic*. Witch is not trying to be a primary source, therefore Lister should really acknowledge where she’s found her information.)

Now, the intro to witchcraft bit. Personally, none of the spells resonated with me – except for the Ostara honeycakes recipe because they are delicious – but that has more to do with how I practise magic. Lister’s practise and mine are very different, and her formalised spells/rituals do absolutely nothing for me. BUT if you are new to witchcraft, and looking for step-by-step guidance for certain issues, or rituals for a sabbat, these could be helpful, or at least give a jumping off point. However, it’s useful to keep in mind that this is not following any specific path within witchcraft – so if you are starting out and want to learn something formalised, this isn’t the book for it. Which is why I say it fails as being an intro to witchcraft: it’s showing you a few spells with no background into the wherefore, no reasoning as to what gives these things the power for this spell. And I feel like that’s because Lister isn’t trying for a tradition-based book, in that she herself works intuitively. So the spellcraft doesn’t really work for me, and I feel like it doesn’t give a firm enough foundation to be considered an introductory book. That being said, it does give just enough information to pique curiosity, so that you may have an idea of where to start further research.

 There is one aspect of Witch that I do find pretty good, which is the constant reiteration of finding your own power and believing yourself and trusting your intuition. This is what I think is the strong point of the book overall – Lister says it’s to help women “reclaim the word ‘witch’”, but witchcraft aside, I definitely feel it’s got some good points about not letting yourself be silenced, and moving into trusting yourself and your ways of knowing.

 BUT.

There is a MAJOR issue that I have with this book, and that is the transphobia and gender essentialism. And this is what, for me, makes it a bad book.

Let me quote a bit for you, from right near the beginning:

“Yet, as I was pulling my pages and pages of handwritten notes… I felt an overwhelming need to apologize for writing a book specifically about women as witches… I’ll piss off the transgender community for not addressing them… That thought? That need to apologize? That’s the very reason why I HAVE to write this book. What I share is NOT intended to exclude others. But trying to be all-inclusive would totally miss the point.” (Witch, pp. xvii-xviii)

Sigh. If you’re going into something with the feeling that you’re being exclusive and need to apologize, maybe that’s a sign to take a step back and look at who you’re excluding and why. If, to you, “the essence of a witch is someone who trusts their inner authority and uses their own personal magic to navigate and negotiate the environment they currently find themselves in” (ibid. p. xix), then why the need to specifically mention that witches power comes from their womb? Why keep bringing it back to “pussy power” and tying everything back to menstrual cycles? Why? And maybe – MAYBE – if there had only been this passing reference in the intro, it could be overlooked. But the references to pussy power, to wombs, tying power to biology, is constant throughout the book:

“Blessed be my womb for being the holy grail, cauldron and keeper of the mysteries.” (p. xxii)

“One sister is chanting the various names given to the Mother God: ‘Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Innana’ over and over, from deep down in her womb. (p. xxiii)

“There were no fanfares, marching bands or big applause: just pussy-deep truth.” (p. 3)

“You can only find your power when you plug yourself back into the motherboard. When your feet touch Mumma Earth, and your womb and heart connect with her.” (p. 16)

“Generations of women have been disconnected from the power that lies between their thighs – their lady landscape, their womb and their menstrual cycle. They’ve lost connection with their ability to create life (and everything else) in their wombs, which means their minds can be easily manipulated and indoctrinated by Patriarchy.” (p. 75)

I could go on, but believe me when I say this is pervasive throughout the entire book.

You can’t have it both ways. You cannot give an inclusive definition of what you think a witch is, and then go on to say ‘oh, but you’re only a witch if you have this biological aspect’ and venerate that biological aspect in an exclusionary way. This book is either only for AFAB, cis women with fully working parts, or it’s for everyone.

I am a queer, cisgender woman with pretty severe endocrine issues which have basically fucked my reproductive system. The amount of time that Lister spends in this book, talking about how our feminine power comes from this same reproductive system is absolutely distasteful, as well as being reductive and exclusionary. I’ve spent enough of my life feeling useless and not enough, due to my physical issues, that I really don’t need a book about reclaiming my feminine power to ALSO say that my feminine power is rooted in a fundamentally broken part of my body. Yes, the menstrual cycle/organs are powerful and have strong magic, but they are NOT what makes someone a woman. To say that it is not only excludes those who either don’t have or have ill-functioning systems, as well as reducing women to nothing more than their reproductive systems… And isn’t that what Lister’s trying to get away from, what with reclaiming feminine power and blasting the patriarchy?

And if I feel this way? I cannot even imagine what my trans family would feel like, expecting a book on witchcraft and the feminine, only to be told mid-text, that they’re not valid or wanted.

I’m not saying that you can’t write a book about the power inherent in the reproductive systems. But just be sure to make it very clear that that’s what you’re doing. Don’t play coy and hide your TERF views in the text, put them on the cover so we don’t pay money for exclusionary bullshit.

And for further reading:

https://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803095846595

https://medium.com/@pennyred/terf-wars-why-transphobia-has-no-place-in-feminism-60d3156ad06e

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/pantheon/2011/03/transgender-issues-in-pagan-religions/

https://godsandradicals.org/2016/02/10/its-all-about-sex-feminism-paganism-and-trans-exclusion/

https://www.hercampus.com/school/york-u/women-wicca-transphobia-and-other-issues

[inevitably-johnlocked]

How did you figure out your pronouns? I think I might use she/they as well but I’m not sure and need some advice. Hope your shoulder is okay too!

Hi Nonny!

Ah, sorry for the delay in response on this one… My computer crashed and I lost my original response so whenever that happens I get annoyed and put aside the asks I lost, LOL. So apologies, it’s not personal, it’s “fuck, i am tired of my computer crashing BLAH!” 

ANYWAY, I should probably say that I’m probably the WORST person to ask about this; I’ve never really had any gender dysphoria, and I have always identified with the pronoun that I was assigned with. Once in awhile I’ll not feel like myself, but I know it’s mostly a depression thing rather than a gender thing (you just… feel it, you know?). 

So why do I also use “they”? Well, it’s mostly because someone didn’t know my gender (since I use the gender-neutral name “Steph”) a long while ago and they referred to me as “they”, and it’s never bothered me, so that’s pretty much it, LOL. I hate my full name (Stephanie) and insisted since I was a teenager to be called “Steph” so that’s literally my journey. I’ve never ever thought of it as dysphoria, just… I hate my full name, LOL. 

AGAIN, I AM THE WORST PERSON TO ROLE MODEL A PRONOUN DECISION ON, I just need to make that clear because I know my experience is absolutely NOT the same as someone who has gender dysphoria. The extent of my “gender dysphoria” is 95% of the time I hate wearing stuff considered “feminine” because it’s uncomfortable and doesn’t fit me and I hate my boobs.

One of my best friends, about a year ago came out of trans and went through the process of legally changing his name and sex and going on T, and he told me about his journey to finally feel like the person he is. He told me that he’s always felt more masculine, but just thought he was a tomboy but still didn’t understand why it just didn’t sit right with him.

Oddly enough, it was his young nieces who started to call him “he” and he never minded it. I don’t know the whole story at this part, but he often refers to that story about the red and blue crayons, and he said he’s always felt like the blue crayon. He tested out a lot of pronouns when he first came out as trans-masculine (some trans people often use the “appearance” aspect to test out their new gender identity for various reasons before realizing that it’s “more than a look” for them, it’s a whole physical being). A few months later, he called me to personally tell me he was transgender, and he would like to be called “he” and his new name. That’s all I know about his journey, but REMEMBER, it’s DIFFERENT for EVERYONE, and no one person’s journey is the same as another.

So here’s my thought: test out the pronouns you want to try, it may help you feel more like the person you are. There’s NOTHING wrong with it. You may be genderfluid, or realize, like my friend at first, you like your body but want to present as female. Some other trans people are okay in the body they’re in but need to present as a different gender. THAT’S STILL TRANS AND THAT’S STILL OKAY. I BELIEVE that falls on the fluidity spectrum but I’m not certain (so I welcome my trans-masc/femme/fluid friends to help correct me). The problem is some of the more bigoted and TERF-y people will say that you’re just a “transtrender” if you decide it wasn’t for you and go back to your previous pronouns and honestly??? Who TF are they to decide how you feel in your body? It’s none of their GD business and it’s NOT their experience!! My friend came out when he was 31/32 I believe as trans-masculine, and trans-male when he was a year later. And people called him “faking it” or a “phase” or “are you a lesbian now” when he did, and they didn’t believe him up until he went to get his first T-injection. Like… society is so effing bizarre and cares too much about what’s between someone’s legs or how someone is acting “out of normal” (what even is normal anymore?). Like… your decision to change something about yourself has NO BEARING on someone else’s life, except it inconveniences them slightly to have to call you a new name or pronoun, like…. what? Someone actually posted on my friend’s face book page when he came out with his new name: “Oh, I can’t deal with that, you’re always going to be [deadname] to me”. It’s was un-fucking-believeable, because that person used to be my friend’s best friend in grade school. Like… gross?? Ugh.

Your self-discovery is EXACTLY THAT: a SELF discovery, and is no one’s journey but your own. If you want to be a “she”, be a “she”! And if it doesn’t fit, try something else or go back to “they” or your previous pronoun. That’s YOUR decision to make and if people put up a stink about it, that’s their problem, not yours.

If any of my trans friends would like to correct any of my errs, or would like to share their stories to help Nonny, please let me know

(P.S. and yes, my shoulder is much better, thank you!)

[mystt]

so a lot of you guys know that ive been on the contrapoints hate train for a long while. she consistently has really bad takes and even worse optics, and has a hard time responding to criticism in ways that arent weird cryptic bullshit. even beyond all that, i just dont like her content substantively or stylistically, which is clearly aimed at trying to convert centrist dudebros. because of that, shes basically the most visible single person on the left online right now. it’s important, CRITICAL even, that the things she says be put in proper context lest someone with less knowledge than her (im not at all denying that shes a smart woman) get the wrong impression of these still fairly new topics. however.

after watching this video made by vaush (a controversial rising star of the youtube left whose style i find very refreshing), i think im starting to have a bit of a change of heart. i think its important to document this thoroughly considering how much (well deserved) shit ive given natalie in the past. here, vaush is covering a portion of a patron stream that natalie did in which she addresses this most recent round of contra-versy. transcripts of it have been circulating, but i feel like they dont properly capture the way in which this topic was addressed.

this post got REALLY REALLY long, so im going to leave the rest under a cut.

natalie is obviously taking this recent bout of hate incredibly hard, to the point where she’s questioning whether or not she can continue making content. let me be clear. i have a lot of personal gripes with natalie and her content, but i think this would be a MASSIVE net negative for the trans community. despite her many shortcomings, she has acted as a gateway, an extended hand to those who don’t understand us, and i think it’s obvious that she’s very successful at it. we NEED people like her to be our liaison. and is she perfect? no, absolutely not. in a perfect world there would be many trans people just as successful as her giving all sorts of different views on what it means to be trans. but right now she’s the best we got, and i do think we could do much, MUCH worse.

apparently, people have been picking apart every single thing she says, using certain turns of phrase to paint her as a terf, or even alt-right/reactionary. ive personally never seen anyone state this, nor do i agree with those who do. but just because i havent seen it personally doesn’t mean that it doesnt happen. that shit needs to STOP. NOW. because if you genuinely believe those things, you are frankly a fucking idiot. yes, she has a tendency to say certain things in her videos and certain things in her other correspondence, but never ONCE has she indicated that she’s anywhere NEAR a terf or a reactionary. saying that she is and using it as a cudgel to abuse her makes you the lowest of the low. if you want a terf reactionary trans woman, blaire white is literally right there!!! like for fucks sake.

 now, whether or not she’s a truscum/transmed is a little more dubious. she has a hard time saying outright that she isnt, but in public she at least nominally supports nb ppl. in the video linked above, she at one point states that nonbinary people ARE part of the trans community, which is definitely a step in the right direction. i just wish that if she really did support nonbinary ppl outright, she wouldn’t muddy that with her own weird personal anecdotes and support of nb-phobes. 

this is a good point to address the actual meat of this controversy, the inclusion of buck angel in her most recent video. buck angel is a reprehensible piece of shit. contra clings so desperately to this idea of him being a trans elder. i guess he was the first trans man contra ever saw, and the first trans person she ever saw who passed, and this fundamentally changed how she viewed trans people. thats great for her, but he’s a relic of a bygone time and frankly he needs to get with the program. she said she’ll do better to vet the people she includes in her videos, and that’s great and all. but, she didn’t actually address the vile things that buck angel has done/said. like i said earlier, i don’t think she’s nb-phobic, but i do think she has this tendency to not properly address the concerns of her nb viewers, which is incredibly frustrating. 

not so frustrating, however, that i felt the need to go to all of natalie’s professional friends and demand that they totally denounce her and sever all ties. this, right here, is an actual example of cancel culture, except this time we’re doing it to one of our own. and not just one of our own, maybe one of the most important community members and advocates that we have. i have a lot of gripes with natalie, as you’ve seen, but NOTHING she’s done requires that we ruin her life. and this savagery she’s receiving is ruining her life, no doubt about it. she’s slipping back into alcoholism, is incredibly depressed, and constantly on the verge of tears over an INSANELY undeserved amount of hate. i don’t know about yall, but i can’t watch natalie talk in this segment without the empathetic and sympathetic part of my brain telling me that something is very, VERY wrong with the position that i’ve taken. 

i feel embarrassed to have thrown myself in with this lot that’s trying to destroy a woman’s life because she isn’t perfect. i feel ashamed that ive spent all this time and energy hating a woman who i really only know not through engaging with her content directly, but by looking at screenshots in twitter threads. and i feel very frustrated that now i cant be critical of one of the most visible members of our community because a bunch of savages are trying to destroy her. this whole situation sucks for EVERYONE.

[hazbinextgeneration]

Third Way Jealousy

The sweet smell of roses and food filled the air as the giant dining room fell silent except for the clicking of silverware and the voices happily chatting through the air....Well happy for two of the people there. Not for a third sitting off to the side. He felt one or two of his eyes twitching in irritation at the insanity dancing around his head that was his emotions. His brain couldn't fathom why she even bothered to invite this staticclinged, edgelord looking moron. He wasn't even that fun to have by and he couldn't see what use he could have to either of them.  "So then I drove the same weapon he threatened to behead me with through his chest." The dapper man dabbed the napkin to his mouth and gave the pink haired lady across from him a giant Cheshire grin. "It was the highlight of my week thus far." The pink hair beauty giggled at his retelling of his earlier week's events and he could feel half his eyes twitch and the grip of his hands tightened around whatever they were gripping at the moment. No! Nonono. He wouldn't be doing this right now. He promised to stay calm this time. He couldn't just throw a bottle or pull a gun on him like any other male. It was just a friend-....A friend who was male and making her giggle like there was no tomorrow! Her beautiful dark pink eyes blinked at him. "That sounds rather exciting. Was this before or after your hotel business?" He hummed. "Im pretty sure before. I'm afraid Charlie's not too fond of my reputation already as it is. The Princess is picky, picky when it comes to...bad habits.~" OH MY GOD- His voice was so d*mmed annoying! It sounded like someone had shoved a tv up his a$$ and as a result his voice was always off frequency. Why did he ever agree to this again? He hated this almost as much as he hated spending time with that idiot brother of his. Only he could make this even worse- She giggled again. "How that sounds like quite the job to uphold." "It is," he said in an assuring tone, "But not to worry. To make sure the hotel gets no bad news I always do 'other business' elsewhere from the hotel's premisis! Charlie will have nothing to worry about if nothing threatening is found about strung about." She giggled again and placed her head in her hand. "Well that sounds very generous of you. But I have to ask, is it true that there was some kind of fight on tv about it?" Her soft pink features turned down into a confused frown. "I think it almost fell apart because one of the residents started a terf war?" At this he hummed and his eyes narrowed, shifting over to the black spider demon who was currently stabbing his steak probably pretending it was his face, as per the norm whenever he paid a call to his little rose's domain. Oh the anger bursting from the seams of this particular little bug made for quite an amusing show,..similar to another spider-ish demon he knew. The both may have differed greatly but if their was one thing the two shared it was their temper...Granted Angel was a little more harder to get fully mad. Luckily he knew just what buttons to press in order to push one over the edge, and by the way this fellow was acting- It shouldn't take much.~ So with a smile he turned back to the beautiful siren in front of him. Honestly for the life or afterlife of him, he'll never know what she saw in this little sorry excuse for a man. But to each their own he supposed. "Yes as a matter of fact!" His cheery tone easily hid any other motives for what he was about to say next. Even when he glanced to the demon still sitting between them. "A feminine fellow by the name of Angel Dust I believe." SCREEE- Both turned their heads at the sudden sound of claws digging into the table and making a deep scratch mark down the side of said table. While she slightly jumped he was expecting something like this to happen. But to the lad's credit, he held it all rather well in besides the obvious scratch marks by his plate, and had resulted to death glaring his food now. As if his anger would catch the thing on fire. He hummed and leaned his head into his hand. Not far enough, "But if I would have to be honest," he said getting her attention back onto him. He smiled and pointed a claw to the fuming demon, "He looks an awfully lot like this fellow here! They share many features! Why, they even act in a similar fashion-" A fork was sudden shot past his head and embedded itself into the opposite wall with a metal 'SHINK' noise before wiggling and finally not moving. His red eyes stared at it for a few seconds before over to the spider demon who was growling and baring his fangs at him. AH! There was that famous family resemblance he was looking so forward to seeing. He let out a couple chuckles despite himself which only seemed to anger him more. He pointed at him and in a threatening tone growled out, "I am nothing like that disgrace." "John!'' She scowled at him and he paused. "That is NOT how you treat our guest. You promised me." He growled again in the direction of the grinning deer...before gazing back to her scowl and, with great reluctance, slowly lowered himself back into his seat. Though his frown and glare still remained clear as day on his face. Red eyes flashed amuzed at how easily she could order around such a miniture little angry pest such as him.... A small little series of dings sounded out from him pocket, with a wave of his hand a small pocket watch came forth and popped open to reveal a strange combination of symbals and a single hand. "Oh goodness gracious. tch, tch, rch. This simply will not do at all." With another wave it disappeared and he slowly stood up from his chair. "Im sorry to have to cut our visit to a close, my dear. But Im afraid I must leave straight away, being tardy for Charlie's staff meeting wouldn't be very professional for her business partner. Now would it?" "Oh. Well it was nice to see you again." She slowly stood up and held out her hand presumably to shake his. Being a gentlemen, he reached across to take her hand...but as a last second descion decided to take it one step forwards and gently place a kiss to the back of her hand while looking right at the demon-...THAT DID IT!! With a growl of fury the black mass swifty made a grabbing motion towards the deer, red eyes filled with fury! But the deer man was too quick and managed to jolt back fast enough and so onto the table the spider slammed. Luckily it didn't break under his weight, but it might as well with his own breaking point. "Johnathan!!" The woman yelled glaring daggers at the spider pathetically laid across the table. Her pink eyes flashed, narrowed in disappointment. He could only lay there and stare up at her quietly. Making her sigh and reached a hand to her forehead. "Oh, John. Why must you do this?" The red man chuckled. "Oh, the woes of a jealous lover is a amusing one. I'd love to stay and chat but I must really be on my way. Wouldn't want to be late now." With a final wave, the staff in his hands was slammed to the ground and strange symbols appeared before encircaling the demon in their path. With a final staic sound he was gone. In his place silence......Well except for the sound of cruel irony when his lady huffed and gave his possibly the most deadliest glare he's ever seen. "I believe we have something to discuss." 

Request for @ynkaliko Arackniss and Alastor belongs to @vivzportfolio

[zolaliz]

Trans v terf discourse:

Hey so I wanted to make a post of my own about the whole terf discourse thing I stumbled upon yesterday and the post I made out of spite today (which I took down, because it was a mistake, and if you saw it I truly, genuinely apologize) and explain a little bit more calmly about the whole thing, about where I'm coming from

Basically I happened upon the account belonging to @/redkatherinee and saw some art that really.. had me shaken up, I guess. It was disturbing, and i felt sick in a way I haven't in a long time. Now I myself am not trans. But I'm going to come out and say that I support trans women, because 1.) I am not ashamed of this, and would never be, and 2.) it's gonna be kinda vital to my whole conversation here. If you are a terf, (trans exclusionary radical feminist for anyone who doesn't know) you might read the sentence before this one and immediately think of my opinion as invalid. You're might (or might not, I don't know) not even bother to read the rest of this. You might start gearing up counter arguments before I even start with my point. That's okay. I am not looking for a fight here. I just want to explain my point of view. If you don't want to listen, if you don't care, if you think I'm wrong, I'm going to politely ask that you don't let me know about it. If you're looking to talk, I'm going to be cautiously open to that. But keep in mind I know the difference between the approaches of someone looking to talk and someone looking to fight. So if you want to send hate or anything else, please refrain. Just as I am going to try to refrain from insulting anybody with this post. Because that's not my intention here. And if I do, I'm sorry.

I'm going to talk about two of @/redkatherinee's art pieces in particular. One displays a witch with a cauldron, with hands reaching out of the boiling liquid, with trans flag bracelets on their wrists. The other displays a women holding a bloodied pie, with eye balls inside it, and a caption that says "terfs literally eat transwomen". Both are drawn in satire. I do believe they were drawn for the purpose of satire, and upon further reading, found out they were drawn because the artist wanted to illustrate how trans supporters and trans people view terfs. Even if they were drawn for satirical purposes, it does not make these images okay. Far from it.

I've always disagreed with terf's stance on transwomen, how they treat them and view them, but I've never seen this hate so openly displayed. Because it wasn't the images that disturbed me, not exactly. It was how I imagined a transwoman stumbling upon them. Maybe this isn't something a terf can empathize with, as some terfs don't see trans women as worthy of empathy, but please try.

If I were a trans woman I would feel beyond despised, I'd feel scared and panicked over how much hatred someone could have to construct those images. To put time and effort into them. The whole thing feels wildly out of hand, but if I had stumbled across those posts as a trans woman, especially without any context provided in the captions, without any context of why the artist drew those (and honestly, even with the context), I'd feel like hiding. I'd feel scared of how someone could have so much hatred towards me. I'd feel angry and start hating in return.

Terfs argue that not all transwomen are good people, and therefore should not be supported. But the truth of this is people can be bad, regardless of sexual orientation, identity, background, opinion. Not all people are good, but that shouldn't mean we stop supporting the ones that are.

For those who say that terfs get hatred and death and rape threats, I am here to say that none of that is okay. Your beliefs do not give others the excuse to be nasty to you. Me included. But you must understand that when you tell others you believe transwomen are rapists and murderers and horrible people, people that don't deserve respect, their first instinct is to lash out (as was mine). It doesn't excuse the behavior, merely explains it.

But you have to understand that this behavior is provoked by someone telling them that their existence is invalid, that it automatically makes them something they may not be. And telling a trans person that they shouldn't exist, that they are wrong, that they are something they aren't- that behavior is inexcusable too.The same way you may feel about people hating terfs, sending them death threats, rape threats, and worse- is what others feel like when they see you excluding trans people and telling people that they don't deserve to exist in the gender they identify with, that they are pedophiles and rapists and murderers themselves. It makes them angry and defensive and scared. It makes them sick and cruel and irrational. It continues the cycle of hate.

But you see the biggest difference between the hate terfs receive and the hate trans people receive is that terfs receive hate because of their beliefs, while trans people receive hate because of their identity. You can change one's beliefs, but no one can change who they are . Trans women are hated because of who they are, their existence, and by excluding them, by targeting them and discriminating against them, you receive hate for your beliefs. Because your beliefs harm others.

Please understand, if you are a terf, in the same way you most likely cannot change your opinions of trans women, these women also can't change who they are. That's right, these women can not change who they are. They aren't men in skirts. They aren't monsters. Because monsters can be monsters regardless of identity or gender, so saying that they are a monster because they are trans is absurd. I wouldn't insult a whole religion for the few who use it to promote hate and ignorance. The actions of some don't speak for the actions for everybody. Everyone, in their own way, is only trying to get by. To live their life as they identify.

Now to people who violently hate on terfs, I was you about six hours ago. Through writing this and after writing this I realized hate isn't the way to approach this. Hate should never be a way to approach anything. Because how on earth do you expect people to even consider your opinion if you approach it with hate? So the telling them to kill themselves and jump off a bridge and die and all that horrible shit, that needs to stop. These are humans, no matter how different their opinions are. No matter how harmful their opinions are. Hurting them back won't help, even if that's your first instinct (as it was mine.)(to be clear though I've never sent a terf a death threat or anything similar). I get it, okay, I really do, but that's not the right way to go about this. This isn't saying that terfs are in the right, or that the hate they receive is anything compared to the decades of discrimination, violence, and worse that trans women have received, but sending them hate won't make the situation any better.

It's exhausting going about it this way and anger and anonymous hate is easier and quicker and makes you feel better- but it won't solve anything.

So to everyone, trans supporters and terfs and trans people themselves- we're all so eager to go at each other's throats, but to take a step back and talk, that could accomplish a lot more. Terfs; maybe a trans woman won't ever be a woman to you, but the least you can do is try and remember that they are a human being. That they aren't defined by anyone else's actions except their own. Trans supporters; you aren't doing the trans people you support any favors by telling terfs to go kill themselves, by calling them disgusting. It comes off badly on the people you're trying to defend. And trans women; I know it's difficult, and I know some terfs won't even give you the time of day- or worse, they do, and they target and harass you. They hate you for your existence, which isn't something you can change (or ever should have to change). So I'm not going to tell you you have to be understanding of people who want you gone, who don't respect you. Talk to them as you see fit, and if they can't talk to you like you're a human, that's on them, and I'm sorry that it being on them doesn't mend the damage done to you by talking to them or being targeted by them.

Respect goes a long way on either end. Stop the death threats, rape threats, suggestions of suicide, exclusion, targeting, and worse.

Hate really doesn't give anyone the high ground. But talking? Talking can help some people reach a middle ground.

[newxdiary]

May 5, 2022

--STRIPES—

Coffee and Rock and Roll time: 4:29

The Beatles, ABBEY ROAD Muddy Waters, HARD AGAIN Ian and Sylvia, FOUR STRONG WINDS Love and Rockets, EARTH. SUN. MOON.

Where do I start. I am awake. The news has broken that my application for rental assistance has been approved for funding. I'm relieved. It only took 9 months. An ironic span of time in the wake of the news that the draft decision written by Justice Alito, a decision that would overturn Roe Vs. Wade, has been leaked. I can’t wish a large enough curse on those despicable justices who would support this. All of them deserve a far more withering pox than Covid, Herpes and Leprosy combined. Vile disgusting religious zealots. Anyhow, I am awake.

The cab was dead again. The Battery. After every two days off, the battery is drained from the electronics and dysfunction of the Ford Transit Connect’s electrical system. I didn’t even miss a beat. Found a cab that I knew had jumper cables, drove it over to where 217 was parked, put the source cab in part on a no parking space in the lot and on a little part on the sidewalk. Got the cables attached, jumped it, moved the doner cab into a proper spot, loaded my gear and got on the road. It took me longer to get food at Burgerville and coffee at Starbucks. My undead cab lives.

The master of a blog I follow on Tumblr referred to someone who reblogged one of her posts and changed the tone (I think) as a “Terf.” What’s a Terf? OK, so a “TERF” is a feminist who excludes transgender rights from their advocacy. Rights for all of us, except you, you’re too different to be included in our struggle against marginalization. I don’t write this to be insensitive to this issue, I’m just working the concept out in written form. I’m old, alright. To the degree I qualify as a feminist, I too support trans rights. Let me be clear. To the degree that I qualify as a human I support the ERA, Abortion as Health Care, Trans Rights, LGBTQ+ and on. I'm just old in the sense that I live in an aging body and grew up in the mid twentieth century.

I was listening to OPB (NPR) earlier and they were talking about the struggles of a couple of local bands that have recently returned to touring in the wake of the COVID pandemic. While a couple of bands that I know are out on tour, I had never heard of these bands. AH, they are for the younger crowd. You struggle against the older generation, only to realize as you become the older generation that you are inching towards irrelevancy and your tastes in everything becomes a kind of weird cultural cannibalism of the middle-aged and decrepit. How vital Ian and Sylvia sounded to me today, while I drank my coffee.

My last customer last night made me question my longevity as a cab driver. Instead of suffering her silently, without protest, I pushed back. She was an asshole; customer service means dealing with assholes. She was nit-picking right from the instant of getting in the cab, which started out with her giving us the wrong address to pick her up at. While I’m waiting for her, she’s not answering the phone and suddenly she’s yelling to me from a block away. Gets in, I explain that it’s important to give us the correct address. She blames it on whoever told her where she was. We are on the corner of 47th and SE Clinton. She asked why I don’t turn and drive down Clinton St. I explain that it’s a bike route street with barriers every few blocks to prevent cars from using it as a through street. She acquiesces on that one, and I say acquiesces because she next tells me to go to the freeway; we are miles away from any freeway on-ramp. I explain that we aren’t near a freeway. She treats me like a child and an idiot. Suddenly she’s questioning every turn I make. Suddenly she’s criticizing the noises the car makes.  I wanted to ask her if she had children, because if she did, I was sure that they hated her. Thing about this kind of bully is that they’re often trying to knock you off guard. Often, they are angling for a justification to not pay you, or to underpay you. Not saying that’s exactly what she was doing (she did pay in full) because I refused to take her shit. I finally asked her, when she brought up the freeway again, I asked her: why are you arguing with me. (understand that the freeway would definitely have made her ride cost more)

When I got back, I talked to a friend who was planning to quit his job soon and take the summer off and then start driving a cab. I asked him if he liked dealing with people and he told me that it was the thing he disliked the most about his current job. He said that he talked to some cab drivers, and they told him it was different. I wish I could impress upon him that customer service in a taxi cab is every bit as grueling and frustrating as it is anywhere else. Trouble with people who drive for a living is that a giant portion of them are morons. Morons. Do not crowd source cab drivers for wisdom or any kind of advice. Do not do it!

If you don’t like people, don’t drive them around. It will be your undoing.

[chronicillnessmemes]

Admin J you're a real bitch. Settle down and stop lashing out

If you don’t like something, you don’t have to be here. If this blog makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to be here.

If you don’t like how the admins deal with things…you don’t have to be here.

But you know what you especially do not need to do? You do not need to send rude, anonymous messages calling people names. Ever. That is absolutely uncalled for. If you want to have a constructive conversation, that’s fine. If you want your voice to be heard, that’s cool.

But to come onto our blog on purpose and spit vitriol anonymously, so you get to say whatever you want and run away? That’s absolutely piteous. 

The only reason we have an anonymous question function is so that our followers with social anxiety can communicate with us when they normally would feel uncomfortable doing so. It is a courtesy so that our lovely, anxious friends, can feel safe and listened to.

It is not for you to abuse. That is absolutely inappropriate behavior and you should know better. 

I am ashamed that someone who thinks that sending a message like this is an acceptable action, has ever felt welcome on our blog in any capacity.

Let me be perfectly clear:You are not welcome here. Anyone who thinks that this message was in any way a respectable action - leave.

We do our best to make this blog a safe place, not just for our followers, but for ourselves, because we are also human beings, who are spending a lot of our time and energy -precious resources we have next to none of - cultivating this blog. 

We tag all of our asks with the admin names so that you can blacklist the tags and don’t see them. We tag anything that might be upsetting with “currently on cim”, so you can blacklist that tag. We make it so that anyone who wants to follow a joke blog that they identify with, without hearing discourse, can do so. 

We make it explicitly clear that if at any time you are uncomfortable with the admins or the blog in general, you can unfollow us with no feelings except understanding that you need to care for yourself and cultivate *your* safe space.

I would like to take this time to make some things known.

We do not support TERFs, racists, sexists, ableists, truscum, bigots, or people who send anon hate.

Our blog is not for you. Ever. 

Kindly fuck off, because your opinions and presence are entirely unwelcome.

Absolutely disgusted,

-Admin E