#And less horrifying details
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knockknockitsnickels ¡ 6 months ago
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It's weirdly funny to me that the cynical princess is the one who nicknames you "hero"
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fluentisonus ¡ 4 months ago
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thinking abt javert standing there fidgeting w the bowl of pounce on the mayor's desk
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thesmokinpossum ¡ 2 months ago
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it's genuinely insane to me how vivid my dreams have been lately and i can't remember if that's how they actually were before I started smoking or if it's a new phenomenon
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itsalwaysdark ¡ 5 months ago
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ill be like I can totally make a lighthearted post mentioning a kink i have and i wont even freak abt it. and then i freak abt it
#its not even one of the ones i normally freak abt. fml. fml. its spreading. eventually i wont even be able to say Strals exist without going#into system shutdown or something. this sucks#this is also why i have so much trouble posting on my nsft is ill go over there and be like. Id love to **** some ***** and then i get#terrified. so i dont#my pfp over there is literally. **** ******* ** * *** but i go over there to post abt how i want to **** * *** and im like that is deviant#i cannot be saying that in front of my followers. who dollowed my nsft blog. where i list the things im into . and my pfo is * **** *******#** * *** so its not like theyd be HORRIFIED if that came up#but idk... i worry ppl dont read my dni over there. bc usually they just follow me after seeing that one post which doesnt rly mention any#of the ones im weird abt. except for like kind of it does but whatever its fine i cannottt freak out abt that post its existed for like.#months now. sigh. its all just a bit embarassing which sucks#“mdni”#IN A MASSIVE WAY. idr if any minors still r here if im still muts with any....#its just like. IDK i either feel a bit silly posting on it and its just mildly embarass Or i send myself into hysterics over how im an evil#person bc i like. well i cant say. obviously. but yk. stufffff. that i am into. I HATE TALKING ABT IT BC IT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE AN EVIL#PERSON AND LIKE. its not anything like. UGH. im not into kids or animals 👍👍👍 obviously. and idt its that bad the things im into some of#them r like basically baby shit like ohhh woww youre into *********** and yet even that i cant talk abt it bc im like um im going to be#smited by god and sent to hell or soemthing and actually i only thing its normal bc im a disgusting weird freak and everybody would kill me#immediately if they knew also im an evil person? its like. UGHHHH.#and the other stuff is. less 'mainstream' which is even scarier but ig in a way ive been More open abt it which is kind of funny. looks at.#but even then i dont rly go in detail bc yk. Stuff. im just like lol they r the way they r bc of how i am. and then i walk away forever#idk. ive been feeling so guilty over that specifically like. UGH. its not like. ugh. i rly cant talk abt it without it being obvious and im#scared byt im also like Compelled to talk abt it so ppl dont think its worse but im also compelled not to bc thats like oversharing i guess#as if thta isnt All i do on this fuckass blog. no matter what i do i lose. i hate my brain so badly i wish i could judt get over it and jus#be like yep these r the things and not have to like over clarify and explain and disclaimer everything and stuff . idk. it suck#mdni#the quotes didnt take it to the top like they used to. kms
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moe-broey ¡ 7 months ago
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LIKE..
#alfonse and mani relationship/my feelings about lif and thrasir in reverse but ALSO. a thousand other things.#it's less about the ages in this case and more about the time periods. what moe was (supposedly) like at that time#also all my mani lore never escapes containment but it's also important. that alfonse did NOT have a good first impression LMFAO#it takes a long time to understand it and even longer to make peace w it.#another core important detail though. is at the end of the day alfonse prefers moe. exactly for who it is.#i think there are qualities about moe he actually envies. in all of moe's Difficulties. it's incredibly self-assured.#it knows who it is and what it wants. it's grown into itself a lot at this point.#mani most likely reflects a moe who was 18 or 19. but the way it Is. in its desperation and posturing#alfonse is surprised to hear that age placement from moe. since to him it read more like a scared kid.#ALSO JUST... THE DYNAMIC... of moe carrying itself silly/rough around the edges vs#mani who carries itself more formally and Perfectly. and how in alfonse's eyes moe reads as the more mature one.#he never questioned its age always assuming (correctly) it's either his age or closer to sharena's.#meanwhile he was mistaken about mani's placement. bc SO severely. to him. it just seems like a kid#trying to act older than they are.#IDK last time i talked ages i accidentally started a Whole Thing LMFAOOO DON'T. WANNA DO THAT AGAJN.#but mani is a study in so many things. in growing up too fast. in unrealistic expectations.#in the gender role it was assigned at birth and just how badly that went for it. even though it Seemed#to encapsulate it Perfectly. it's also a study in compatibility and preference esp w alfonse at the other end#it's a study in just how Wrong. horroring and painful. traditional/conventional 'romance' Is for moe.#it's a study in autistic masking. and how damaging that was for it as well.#mani is a study in all the ways moe had to protect itself.#mani is just.... such a loaded fucking character LMFAOOOOOOOO#put that thing back where it came from OR SO HELP ME‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#mani tag#* horrifying. typo LMFAOO#typing too quickly....
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peapeaprincess ¡ 1 year ago
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(waking up from a horrifying nightmare) you know actually, it's pretty humane that the aliens in Prey (2005) made entire towns disappear at the same time.
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ddejavvu ¡ 11 months ago
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Hii hope you’re doing well, I was wondering if I could request a criminal minds blurb where reader is Penelope’s best friend and they’ve met for lunch in a cafe near Quantico, and reader is telling Penny about this new guy she hooked up with a few nights ago, reader tells Penny how big the guy was and then a few minutes later Spencer walks in and reader is like “P omg that’s the guy!!” And gestures towards Spencer who’s the only person ordering at the counter? I just feel like Penny would be equal parts both shocked and horrified that her sweet innocent boy Spence has a sex life but also that he’s HUNG?? I literally love you and all your Spencer works and I feel like you’d write this perfectly 🫶🫶
this post is 18+, minors dni.
Penelope is absolutely enraptured by the play-by-play you're murmuring to her over the low din of the cafe's patronage. The whirring and grinding of the machines behind the counter only further aid in your attempt to keep your conversation private, and you can smell sweet strawberries on the bubbly blonde when you lean in to give her details.
"And he reached for his fly- ooh, Penny, the way his arms looked," You gush, remembering the thick veins that had corded his bone while he'd wrestled with his belt, "He whipped his belt out of the way, and- stop!" You urge her when she wriggles her brows at you, "He took his pants off, Penny, and I swear to god I've seen thighs thinner than that dick."
Her resulting squeal is much less hushed than you'd managed to keep the rest of your conversation, and you swat at the arm that's not holding her coffee. She gets the message but resorts to stamping her feet beneath the table instead, a repeated clicking that blends in much better with the mechanical whirring of the baristas' handiwork.
"He was so thick, and Jesus- Penny, he was long, too, just big all around," You recall, insides throbbing with a phantom ache at the memory of what you'd taken last night, "I swear he had me seeing stars," You sigh, glancing down at the pale pink ring of lip gloss around the mouth of your cup, "I'd beg him to come over again tonight, but I think I need a week to recover."
"A week," She breathes dreamily, "I could barely feel the last guy I had."
"Oh, I could feel him," You laugh, "It's like I still can, I'm pretty sure he bruised- oh fuck!"
"What?" Penelope's brow dips instantly, concern etched into her pretty features, "What's wrong?"
"It's him," You grip her hand, nails digging into her skin, "It's the guy from last night!"
"Big dick dude?" She asks, and your frantic nod confirms her theory.
She tries to be subtle, bless her, when she turns to see him, but when the only person that she sees standing in line for a drink is her coworker, her brain chugs along slower than normal.
Where's big dick dude?
Oh, Spencer's here!
I don't see big dick dude.
Spencer is-
You're not sure even the most talented actor could ever recreate the sheer horror swimming in her gaze when she turns to face you again. Her eyes are blown wide and her mouth, lined in a pretty fuchsia paste, is downturned in a grimace.
"Please tell me you're not talking about the skinny mess in the sweater vest."
"That's exactly who I'm talking about!" You gush, trying to avoid his gaze lest he thinks you're trying to follow him around, "Penny, isn't he dreamy?"
"That's- oh my god," She recalls your descriptions, thicker than thighs, longer than you've ever seen, "I have to resign."
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girlgenius1111 ¡ 2 months ago
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alexia putellas x reader after insisting on going to r's childhood home to spend christmas with her family, alexia helps r navigate a rather difficult reunion with rather difficult parents. angst -> fluff / comfort :)
—
It was almost embarrassing, bringing Alexia home to a family so devoid of love. She’d insisted, though, never having met your parents, even though you’d met her entire extended family multiple times. She’d explained it adorably, that she wanted to see where you came from and the people that raised you. You weren’t entirely sure how to tell her that none of that was worth seeing, so with several complaints, you’d agreed to return home for Christmas. Alexia could be difficult like that; when she wanted something, she was like a dog with a bone. 
She wanted you to get to spend Christmas with your family, and she was making it happen. No matter what you said. 
What you absolutely couldn’t have, though, was Alexia getting to your childhood home unprepared. She had to know what she was getting herself into, and you did your best to prepare her. It started with small things, telling her how your mother was very religious, or how your father was quiet and probably wouldn’t speak much. But you couldn’t stop thinking of things to warn her about, until you were on the plane sitting next to her, a whole speech about your mother and her disapproval of your career falling from your mouth. 
“And she’ll probably say something about us getting real jobs, and I just don’t want you to–”
Alexia cut you off, grabbing the hand that was gesturing wildly as you spoke and giving it a firm squeeze. ��Amor, I have been hearing that for years from people. I can take it.” 
Her smile was nothing but reassuring, and you weren’t sure how to express just how difficult your parents and your family could be. Your girlfriend knew that your relationship with your family was strained, but you’d always been very tight-lipped about the details. You were filled to the brim with anxious anticipation, and you could tell Alexia didn’t understand why you seemed to be dreading this. Christmas at home with your family should, theoretically, be an enjoyable and fun time. 
It wouldn’t be. It hadn’t been, in all the years that you’d been travelling back home for it, and you knew it’d be even worse this year, because every second your mind would be consumed with being terrified of what your girlfriend would be thinking. Of your family and the way they viewed you, the way they spoke and belittled you. The fear that she would realize just how ugly and cruel your family could be and decide she didn’t want that in her life was all consuming. 
You’d always heard that a person was the truest version of themselves with their family. This sentiment had always horrified you, your greatest fear being that it was correct. The version of you around your parents was the worst version of yourself, and Alexia was about to see all of it. 
But didn’t Alexia deserve to see what she was getting herself into with you? In the end, this was what had you convinced to let her come home with you for the holidays. She deserved to know all of the person she was with.
“Amor, hey.” Alexia called, cupping your cheek with one hand as you focused back on her, apparently having gotten lost in your thoughts. “Where did you go just now?” 
Her eyes were crinkled with concern, her fingers soft on your cheek, and you felt the sudden appearance of tears pooling in your eyes. Her brow knitted together and she leaned closer, gently kissing your cheek. 
You inhaled deeply, letting her hand in yours ground you into the present. “I’m nervous. I don’t think you get that–”
Alexia interrupted you again, covering your mouth with her hand. “I understand that your family is difficult. I understand that your relationship with them is not the best. But maybe this can be your chance to try to mend things, no? And I promise, amorcita, nothing I see from your family will make me love you any less.” 
Alexia kissed you again before pulling you into her chest as best she could with the arm of the airplane seat in between you. You let her hold you, wondering if she was telling the truth. If she’d really still love you after… what you were increasingly sure would be a disaster was over. 
—
It started as soon as you arrived. There were a few moments of peace on the drive from the airport to your parents house, with Alexia practically smooshing her face against the window to get a glimpse of your hometown.  
And then you’d arrived, and within a few minutes of your arrival, your mother had commented on your hair, your clothes, your career, and your lack of time spent at home. Alexia was quiet, as you knew she would be, because she still felt insecure about her English, and she much preferred to listen to it than to speak it. 
Your parents seemed to like Alexia, at least, commenting on how put together she seemed, and how kind it was of her to bring the bottle of wine she had with her as a gift for them. You were still tense, though, standing in the pristinely white kitchen with your parents and your siblings, discussing the plans for the day. It was the 22nd, and there were still things needed to be done before everyone arrived on Christmas Eve. Alexia stood at your side, just observing. 
“Alright, what else does everyone need to do?” Your mother asked, taking out a notepad and holding her pen at the ready over it, as if you all weren’t adults that could remember simple tasks.
“I need to get the ingredients for the Christmas cookies I’m going to make.” You stated, having done all of your shopping already and sent it ahead. 
“Really? You’re going to make those cookies?” Your mother replied, her fast twisting with disgust. You shifted uncomfortably, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. 
“Yes, everyone normally likes them.” 
Your mother exchanged a look with your father, smirking as she looked back at her list. “Honey, no one eats them. I throw most of them out every year when you’re not looking.” 
Your face burned with embarrassment, and you shrunk into yourself, head bowed as you stared at the floor and willed everyone to stop looking at you. This was what you’d always done; instead of arguing back, you’d shut down. They could say what they wanted, but you didn’t have to let it hurt you. You weren’t exactly sure how to stop it from hurting, but they didn’t have to know that. 
Yet as your Mom turned to your sister to ask her what she had left to do, Alexia stepped closer towards you, grabbing your hand and taking a deep breath. 
“I like the cookies. And so does the team, they always ask you to bring them.” Her voice was soft, words accented, but the room was silent. Your mother turned to look at her, an odd expression on her face, and you sighed internally. You could feel nothing but deep gratitude for Alexia, sweet loyal Alexia who loved anything you cooked and and refused to let even you criticize yourself. 
Your Mother chuckled, a cruel sound that made you wince. 
“You don’t need to lie, Alexia, you’re already way out of her league. You shouldn’t have to eat her awful baking too.” Your Mother joked, a glint in her eye that told you she wasn’t really joking.
Still, Alexia seemed offended at your mother’s words, and you should have known she would be. Her grip on your hand tightened, and she stepped in closer. 
“No, she is a good baker, and I–”
Your father cut Alexia off, speaking for the first time since you’d arrived. “Well, the Spanish do have weird tastes. Excessively affectionate, too.” His eyes flickered down to where your hand was intertwined with Alexia’s, his meaning clear in his tone. 
You felt Alexia’s hand slip from yours, and you could see out of the corner of your eye that she had turned red. This was a step too far. Making Alexia feel embarrassed for showing affection towards you… you could take everything they had to throw at you, but they were not allowed to mess with the best person you’d ever known. 
You stepped forward, despite the light tug on the back of your shirt from Alexia, clearly telling you to let it go. You couldn’t let it go; you could handle the disrespect from your parents, but you wouldn’t let them do the same to Alexia. 
“That was rude, Dad.” Your voice shook pathetically, the big stand you were taking seemed pitiful as soon as you tried to speak. 
Again, your parents just exchanged amused glances, and you could see out of the corner of your eye your siblings rolling their eyes. It seemed as if no one was on your side, and you weren’t sure why you were surprised. That’s how it always went. 
Without another word in your direction, your Mother turned to your siblings, asking them what they had left to do. Of course, there was no criticism of the cake your sister intended to bake, even though it always came out dry. No one told your brother that the amount of alcohol he was planning on getting was absurd. It seemed the humiliation was only reserved for you. 
The old feeling was back, the one of deep loneliness. You’d spent almost 18 years in this house, feeling like an outsider. Whenever you returned, it was like you reverted back to the 18 year old that had left, no matter how much time had passed. You always felt like an irrationally angry kid in the face of how your parents treated you, and you hated it. Always second guessing yourself, always half sure that you were the one in the wrong. Your parents, your brother and your sister, they all agreed that you were the problem. You were alone, here, like you always were. 
Another tug on your hand, though, reminded you that you weren’t actually alone. 
“Come on, show me your room.” Alexia whispered, her hands gentle as she guided you out of the room. She was shocked, to say the least, at your family’s treatment of you. She’d known you had a difficult relationship but she didn’t imagine it was like this. You’d been home for 10 minutes, seeing your parents for the first time in almost a year, and they’d wasted no time trying to embarrass you in front of her. She was hoping this was a one off, though, perhaps an inside joke she had misunderstood. So, she let you lead the way to your room, taking in the small space more critically than she normally would have. 
Her room at her mothers house was left practically untouched from when she’d moved out. It was filled with posters of footballers and old memories. Your room here, though, was devoid of any sentiment. No pictures, no decorations, nothing that made it feel like it had been yours. Alexia wasn’t sure if your parents had cleared away any trace of you from the room, or if it had never really been decorated in the first place. She wasn’t sure which she preferred, honestly. 
But as you leaned into her wordlessly for a hug as soon as the bedroom door shut behind you, Alexia began to worry. Making you bring her here was starting to feel like a mistake. She didn’t have the whole picture, or even most of it. All she knew was that she hated the blank expression on your face, and she hated the way you seemed to shrink into yourself around your parents. Like you’d rather disappear than be noticed by them. 
—
It wasn’t a one off, the awkward moment upon your immediate arrival home. It had barely been 24 hours, but Alexia had witnessed at least 5 different instances of your parents treating you like an inconvenient annoyance instead of the daughter they hadn’t seen in almost a year. 
First, it was your mother asking about your plans for when football ended. 
“All I’m saying, honey, is that you are not going to be able to find a good job with your school records.” She tutted, before turning to Alexia. “I swear, she didn’t finish a math or science class with more than a C her entire time in school.”  
Your mother smiled, as if she’d just told the funniest joke in the world. Alexia’s face was one of both shock and horror. Her mami would never have said something even remotely close to what your mother had just said, even if Alexia had failed every class she’d ever taken. It was so unnecessary, and your girlfriend could see the weight your mother’s words had over you. 
It was more of the same from the day before; instead of saying anything in response, you just sank back into the couch, gaze fixed on the floor. This only seemed to mollify your mom, and as she kept talking, rehashing every test you’d failed, Alexia could see tears beginning to well in your eyes. 
“Her marks were so bad before she left for football, I don’t think she would have even graduated.” Your mother chuckled. It was untrue; your grades weren’t that bad. Not the best, sure, but you weren’t in any danger of failing or getting kicked out. Still, it was like your mouth was sealed shut, and saying anything in response wasn’t possible. You couldn’t defend yourself, you couldn’t even look up from the ground. It was pathetic. 
“Amor, can you help me choose what to wear tonight? I brought two sweaters, and I cannot decide.” 
Alexia didn’t wait for a response from you, standing and reaching for your hand, well past caring that your parents seemed to think of Alexia’s affection as something of an entertaining joke. You followed her down the hall and into your bedroom, her hand warm and soft in yours, only making the sob caught in your throat more difficult to keep in. 
As soon as you were safely in your sadly bare bedroom, though, she was wrapping you up tight in her arms. 
You tried to defend yourself, mortified at everything your mother had said, words mumbled into Alexia’s sweatshirt. “I’m not dumb. She made it sound like I’m dumb, but–”
Alexia cut you off, holding you even tighter. “You are not dumb, I know this. Do not listen to her, do not even think about it. You are so intelligent, mi amor, I promise you.” 
Your body began to shake in her arms, a quiet thank you breaking the brief silence. You were crying, and it was all Alexia could do to keep holding you until the tears stopped. What else could she say? 
But for every conversation that followed in which your mother attempted to belittle you or make you feel bad, Alexia would find an excuse to pull you away. 
When your mother expressed her distaste for your haircut, Alexia practically wrote you a poem in the garage about how much she loved your hair. 
When your father made a thinly veiled comment about how you were most definitely not invited to church the following day, as the other families would be judgemental about your lifestyle, Alexia was right beside you, trying to hold back her absolute fury. She forced a smile, telling your father it was better you both stay home, because ignorance and stupidity were not worth engaging with. 
When your mother suggested you eat a salad instead of the pasta you were going to order for dinner, Alexia very pointedly informed your mother that you were among the fittest on the team. And later, laying in bed, when she could tell you were still thinking about the comment, she… reminded you how much she loved your body. Twice. 
Alexia had an answer for everything, a way to make your chest stop squeezing whenever your mother opened her mouth. You weren’t sure how she was doing it, weren’t sure why she was possibly still here. After all of your flaws were explicitly laid out in front of her, she seemed only more determined to make it clear how much she loved you. 
It was easier, one you decided to just focus on Alexia and not what your parents had to say. With her there with you, it felt like this was a trip you could maybe get through. 
But then Alexia offered to take the family dog for a long walk while you caught up with your sister, by far your favorite member of the family. She thought it was important that you have time together, and she didn’t mind a bit of time away from the loud chaos that had taken over the house.  
She left with the dog, returning only 45 minutes later, with no idea what her absence had given the opportunity for. 
Alexia came back into the house, unhooking the dog from his leash, the smile falling from her face when she sensed the tension in the room. You were nowhere to be seen, and your parents looked beyond furious, clattering around angrily in the kitchen as they cooked. Your sister sat on the couch, guilt written across her face. 
“She’s in her room, go,” your sister whispered, catching Alexia’s eye and giving her a meaningful nod. It didn’t take a mind reader to understand what had happened. Things had been on the brink with your parents the short time you’d been home. It seemed everything had finally boiled over. Alexia moved towards your room as fast as was socially acceptable, knocking softly on the door before opening it. You were sitting on the floor at the foot of your bed, face wet with tears. 
“Oh, mí bebe,” Alexia whispered, shutting the door quietly behind her and lowering herself onto the ground next to you. Her strong arms pulled you into a tight hug, and you burrowed into her, not minding the chill of her skin from the cold outside. No hug had ever felt warmer. 
“I’m so sorry,” you whimpered, feeling guilt upon guilt at the fact that you’d brought your girlfriend into this environment, even if she’d insisted on it. How embarrassed she must be, to see you so easily humiliated by your parents. She must be rethinking everything, your whole relationship. 
But, as Alexia was often inclined to do, she surprised you, tenderly wiping away your tears and giving you a reassuring smile. 
“You have nothing to be sorry about, nothing.” She assured you, leaving a lingering kiss on your cheek. 
“I don’t want to be here anymore.” 
“Then let’s go. We can get flights back to Spain. Be home before Christmas, spend it ourselves. Just us.” 
“You’d do that?” 
“Of course I would, amor.”
“You wanted to come here, though, I don’t want to ruin everything,”
Alexia cut you off. “I don’t want to be anywhere that makes you unhappy.” She said softly. You looked up at her finally, and the adoring expression on her face as she gazed down at you was almost overwhelming. 
“Okay.” You murmured, pressing your face into her shoulder. She held you close, pulling out her phone to buy tickets on the next flight out. Once that was done, she guided you away from the safety of her sweatshirt, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. 
“Get packing. I am going to speak to your parents.” 
“Ale,”
“No. I am. Stay here, pack. I will be back in a moment.” 
—
You couldn’t be sure what Alexia said to your parents. They didn’t speak as you left the house, and neither did either of your siblings. They all just watched you go, a somewhat impressed look on your sister’s face. Alexia wouldn’t tell you, either, saying she’d just told them what they needed to hear. 
The next half a day or so went by in a blur. You were emotionally exhausted from being home, and Alexia practically had to drag you through the airport once you’d landed in Barcelona. Before you knew it, you were at Alexia’s mother’s house for Christmas Eve. Eli had been delighted to have the both of you home, not saying a single word about how you were supposed to be at your family’s home. 
You could relax, finally, at Eli’s house with people you felt comfortable around. You loved Alexia’s family, loved how they all seemed excited to see you, asked you enthusiastic questions about your life. It was nice, spending the holidays with them. With Alexia’s arms around your shoulders, making sure you were always tucked into her side, and her family so happily chatting around you, it was so nice to be around a happy, loving family. 
Happy, though, wasn’t all you felt. You watched Alexia with her Mami, her cousins and her aunts and uncles. She fit so easily, smiling widely as she joked around with them. Alexia was loved by her family, but you were not. You never had been and you didn’t understand why.  
There had to be over 50 people in the house, and you were confident that no one would notice if you slipped off, just for a minute. Someone had noticed. Alba noticed the tears in your eyes, too, the ones you hadn’t even been aware of. So, while you darted off to the bathroom, the brunette went in search of her sister. 
She found her in a crowd of her uncles, in a heated argument about some football tactic. Alba didn’t have the patience to wait until the conversation had ended, and knew that if Alexia had seen you just a few moments before, she wouldn’t either. 
“Ale.” Alba said quietly, pulling on her sister’s arm. The blonde shook her off, barely turning her head to look at her as she did so. “Alexia, now.” 
With a roll of her eyes, Alexia exited the conversation. “Ay dios mio, what, Alba?” she huffed, dragging her feet as Alba yanked her in the direction of the bathroom. 
“Your girlfriend snuck away, and it looked like she was crying. Just thought you’d want to know.” Alba snapped with a frown, turning on her heel and stomping away. Alexia would fix that later, she thought. 
“Amor?” Alexia called, knocking quietly. “Are you in there?” 
She heard a deep inhale, and then your shaky voice. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be out in a second.” 
Alexia tried the handle again. “Let me in, please.” 
A moment passed before the lock clicked open and Alexia practically threw herself through the door and into the bathroom. 
Your makeup was running, and you were desperately trying to mop up the tears still streaming down your face. 
“Come here.” Alexia said simply, opening her arms for you to collapse into. It was a good thing she was wearing a black sweater, or there’d have been mascara visible all over it. You sniffled against her for a few moments, and she didn’t push you to talk. She ran her hand through your hair, leaving a light kiss on the top of your head. 
You pulled away after a moment, reaching for a tissue, but Alexia grabbed one before you could, gently wiping away the tears and running makeup off your face. She had a frown set on her face, and you misunderstood the cause. 
“I’m sorry. I’m okay, you can go back to your family.” 
Her frown deepened. “Do not say sorry. What upset you? Did someone say something?” 
You shook your head, feeling more tears well up in your eyes though you knew you really shouldn’t be crying anymore about this.  “No, no one said anything.” You were wilting under Alexia’s stern gaze, so she made a conscious effort to soften, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. 
“Tell me what has you so upset.” She encouraged, pulling your body closer into hers. 
You exhaled shakily, not quite sure how to explain it without sounding like an awful, pathetic person. “I… it’s just…” 
Alexia sighed, resting her hand on your cheek and encouraging you to look up at her. “You can tell me, bebé. Whatever it is, you can always tell me.” 
“It’s hard.” You mumbled eventually, studying the floor under your feet very closely.  
“What is hard?” 
“Being here.” You admitted. “With your family who all adore you, and they should, it’s just that my family… they don’t… and I just want…” Your voice broke and you slammed your mouth shut, unwilling to allow yourself to break down again. 
“Amor,” Alexia breathed, engulfing you once more in a tight hug. “I know. It is not fair the way they treat you, I am so sorry. It makes sense that this is hard, I understand.” 
You held tight to your girlfriend, letting the smell of her perfume wash over you. Alexia always knew what to say. Always knew how to make you feel better. You didn’t deserve someone as good as her, you were sure of that. As if reading your thoughts, Alexia leaned away from the hug and cradled your face in her hands. 
“Let’s go home. I have a surprise for you there.” Her face was so earnest and hopeful, you felt your heart melt. 
“But your family–”
“They will understand, and I am pretty sure they will not even notice us leave anyway, it is so loud in here, everyone loves to hear the sound of their own voice.” With a fond roll of her eyes and a half smile, Alexia had you convinced. She made sure the makeup that had run while you cried was wiped off your face, before expertly leading you out of the house. As she said, most of her family was too busy chatting to notice Alexia pulling you through the crowd, though she did stop to say goodbye to her mother. Eli gave you a tight hug, sending the two of you on your way with a large shopping bag full of wrapped gifts. 
It didn’t seem to bother Alexia, leaving early. In fact, she seemed so excited about whatever surprise she had for you at home that she was practically bouncing in the driver’s seat. Her excitement remained all the way home, until you were sitting on the sofa in your shared apartment, hands dutifully covering your eyes. 
There was some rustling in the front hall closet, what sounded like a box falling from a shelf and Alexia’s voice quietly swearing. You smiled to yourself, hearing her footsteps approach, before something was placed in your lap. 
“Okay! Open!” Alexia sang, sitting on the edge of the coffee table just in front of you. Opening your eyes, you found a gift bag resting in your lap, puffy as though it was a bit too small for whatever was inside, tissue paper haphazardly covering the opening of the bag. “Come on! Open!” 
You chuckled, pulling the tissue paper out of the reindeer covered bag, and reaching in. Before you had even processed the fabric in your hands, Alexia was leaning in to kiss you, bursting with eagerness. 
“It is matching Christmas pajamas!” She burst out, grinning from ear to ear as you unfolded the red and white plaid pajama pants, white long sleeve shirts with a well decorated christmas tree adorning the front. 
You couldn’t help but match her energy, smiling back at her as she explained herself. 
“I looked up Christmas traditions we could start, just ourselves. I have a whole list, and this is the first thing on the list. New matching pajamas every Christmas Eve. A new… our family tradition.” 
It shouldn’t have surprised you, that Alexia thought of you as her family, but maybe you just weren’t expecting anyone to choose you when your family wouldn’t even do that. You dropped the pajamas into your lap, pulling her in for a soft kiss. “You’re the sweetest. I love it. And I love you.” 
“I love you more.” Alexia whispered, kissing you again before pulling you to your feet. “Let’s put them on and watch a Christmas movie!” 
It didn’t matter that Alexia didn’t particularly care for Christmas movies. Not when she was waiting for you on the bed, her set of pajamas looking adorable on her. Her fading blonde hair was pulled into a loose bun, and her face broke into a massive smile when she saw you in your set of pajamas. 
And as you laid in Alexia’s arms, plaid pajama covered legs tangled together as a Christmas movie played on the TV, it didn’t matter so much that you didn’t have your family to celebrate with. You had Alexia, and that was more than enough. 
—
have not proofread this so pls tell me if you find a typo
i hope you enjoy! i know the holidays aren't always enjoyable for everyone, and honestly it's gonna be a weird one for me, but i hope everyone feels loved and appreciated this year.
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misto713 ¡ 8 months ago
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what if shen yuan had a personality/history that was closer to shen jiu (a ruthless street rat), and the only main difference between them was that sy actually liked the 'protagonist', binghe? i think poor bingbing would have fallen even harder/faster tbh.
-- example --
skinner arc
skinner: "ooh what pretty skin you have, mr. cultivator! i can't wait to wear it! :) :) :)"
sy: (instead of pointing them at binghe) *evil grin* "why don't you come closer to see it in detail then?"
skinner: *approaches*
sy: *rips their throat out with his teeth*
sy: "and this, children, is why you should always remember two things: one, cultivation improves not only your qi, but also your physical strength, and cutting you off from qi doesn't hinder your muscles; and two, just because you don't have qi doesn't mean you're helpless. now. let's get out of here, shall we?"
sy: *grins at the kids with his bloodied teeth*
sy: *dislocates his wrist to slip out of the immortal binding cables*
ning yingying: *horrified but also kinda impressed*
binghe: *has never been more horny in his life*
--
i just think it would make an interesting dynamic, and maybe make it easier for bingbing to accept his demonic side and instincts if he saw that humans can clearly be epic and badass and ruthless and still be capable of kindness. that his demonic instincts don't make him any less of a person.
after all, if shizun can be... like that, and he's a human, then why would it be a problem if binghe was a bit more... attuned to his instincts too?
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3rdgymbros ¡ 3 months ago
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━ 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 (𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓) 𝐄𝐱𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐞.
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— pairing; vil schoenheit x ramshackle! reader
— summary; set during the fairy gala, in which he whips you by accident
— notes; please donate to my kofi if you like my work. and know that i am mentally smooching everyone who reblogs my stuff.
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❋ As the (self-proclaimed) trainer for the Fairy Gala, Vil Schoenheit takes his role very seriously. Every minute detail matters to him, and he’s determined to whip this ‘potato parade’ into shape.
❋ Literally.
❋ Vil’s somehow managed to get his hands on a thin, leather whip, which he uses to motivate everyone (you don’t ask, but you strongly suspect that it’s been borrowed from Professor Crewel).
❋ Jamil and Kalim are (supposedly) meeting Vil’s (impossible) standards, since the whip is hardly aimed in their direction.
❋ Unfortunately, Leona isn’t doing as well.
❋ Understatement of the year.
❋ He’ll slouch, grumble, and roll his eyes, making it clear how he’s reluctantly going along with all of this . . . Anything he can do to get Vil all riled up. A vein is throbbing in Vil’s temple and you suspect that he’s this close to losing his patience.
❋ And in Vil’s attempt to snap the whip near him for attention, the end somehow smacks you right across your ass.
❋ SNAP!
❋ The sound echoes through the room, and your hand immediately flies to your ass, still feeling the sharp sting. After making sure that there’s no lasting damage, you spin around to level an indignant glare at Vil, teary-eyed and flushed.
❋ “Vil Schoenheit, you big pervert!”
❋ Unsurprisingly, your biggest wish at this moment is for the ground to open up and swallow you whole, anything to escape the embarrassment settling in. You can see the flicker of surprise on Vil’s face, his usual calm and collected demeanour cracking and giving way to a faint hint of pink on his cheeks.
❋ Vil’s eyes are wide and horrified. He raises a hand to his mouth, clearly mortified. "I assure you, that was accidental!" He’s a gentleman, for crying out loud! As if he’d ever do something improper to you, and in front of an audience!
❋ Meanwhile, the other boys are watching the unfolding drama. Leona, who’s been reluctantly following Vil’s orders all day, starts laughing at you both openly. Kalim is wide-eyed, looking between you both with his mouth agape in shock, and Jamil hides a smirk behind his palm.
❋ Crossing your arms, you continue staring at Vil, your glare less intimidating and more of a pout now. “Sure, accident . . .” You mutter sarcastically, trying to calm yourself down. “But you’re on thin ice, Schoenheit.”
❋ Practice resumes as per normal after that, without any further incidents.
❋ But Vil makes sure to be extra careful with the whip whenever you’re in the vicinity.
❋ (Leona takes a leaf from your book and proceeds to call Vil a ‘perv’ for the rest of the day, still snickering whenever he thinks about it.)
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reasoningdaily ¡ 1 year ago
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The devastating impacts on reproductive rights and individual lives after the fall of Roe continue apace.
One study showed that as early as five years old, society perceives Black girls as “less innocent” and “more adult-like” than their non-Black counterparts, placing an unfair expectation on them to act more maturely.
The latest high-profile account to detail the gut-wrenching effects arrived in Time this week. The story—”She Wasn’t Able to Get an Abortion. Now She’s a Mom. Soon She’ll Start 7th Grade”—centers on Ashley, a 13-year-old girl from Mississippi who in the fall of 2022, according to her mother, was raped by a stranger in her yard.
The assault resulted in a pregnancy that she was unable to terminate because of the strict abortion bans in Mississippi and its bordering states, each enacted after the overturning of Roe. Ashley’s mother, Regina, told Time that she didn’t have the resources to take her daughter to the nearest clinic hundreds of miles away in Chicago.
This story, recounting Ashley’s trauma and highlighting the many systems that failed her, is an incredibly difficult read. But one line has especially stayed with me:
“One nurse came in and asked Ashley, “What have you been doing?” Regina recalls. That’s when they found out Ashley was pregnant.”
This is the question a nurse chose to ask when confronted with a Black child in clear distress, who had shown up to the emergency room unable to stop vomiting.  Not “What happened to you?” or “Are you okay?”
The nurse reportedly asked a 13-year-old child, “What have you been doing?” It’s hard not to see the suspicion and implicit blame in the question. That culpability, deployed with equal amounts of derision and judgment, is something that I and many other Black women and girls are all too familiar with. 
Victim blaming reaches people of all races. But Black girls stand at a uniquely horrifying intersection where both gender and skin color are weaponized against them.
One study showed that as early as five years old, society perceives Black girls as “less innocent” and “more adult-like” than their non-Black counterparts, placing an unfair expectation on them to act more maturely.
In 2017, Georgetown Law’s Center on Poverty and Inequality reported that participants in a study perceived Black girls as needing less nurturing, protection, and comfort than white girls. These virulent misconceptions, of course, can be traced back to historically racist stereotypes about Black femininity. GLCPI wrote:
“These images and historical stereotypes of Black women have real-life consequences for Black girls today. According to [Jamila] Blake and colleagues, “these stereotypes underlie the implicit bias that shapes many [adult’s] view of Black females [as] … sexually promiscuous, hedonistic, and in need of socialization.”
The results of this adultification are pervasive. Black girls are often punished more severely in schools and the criminal justice system than their white peers. The ripple effects can be found all over popular culture.
Huff Post’s Taryn Finley attributed this societal perception as a key reason why R. Kelly, whose accusers were primarily Black women and girls, was able to remain successful despite allegations of child sexual abuse surrounding him for several decades. And they can be found in questions like, “What have you been doing?”
Girlhood is a delicate period. It should be a time for crushes and school dances, not confronting the dark realities of misogyny and racism. It’s time for society to allow young Black girls to be girls, instead of forcing them into becoming women. Not ask, like the nurse in this story, “What have you been doing?”
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bestboiraditz ¡ 26 days ago
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I was watching some old clips of Raditz and I realized something interesting about this characterization. Yes, Raditz is immediately interesting because he's Goku's older brother, but he's made even MORE interesting in my opinion thanks to the brief characterization he's allowed to have.
Take his first lines to Goku:
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He doesn't immediately berate him for his failure to purge the planet, he takes a moment to muse on how much Goku has grown and how he looks just like their father Bardock. Keep in mind, Bardock wasn't even a spark in Toriyama's mind, so for him to have Raditz say this when he's supposed to be a throwaway villain shows an unusual level of fondness for family, especially considering what we later learn about Saiyans
Raditz, upon realizing Goku doesn't remember him, isn't just annoyed that Goku forgot his mission, but seems distraught that his little brother doesn't remember him.
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It's a small detail, but again, cements that Raditz shows an unusual level of attachment to family bonds, especially for a Sayain.
And then (and this is something important to keep in mind) he declares that he will find a way to recover his little brother's memories because Goku is NEEDED.
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His priority isn't to get the planet purged or punish Goku for failing, it's to regain the only biological bond he has left, however little of it there may be.
I find it interesting Toriyama wrote this piece of dialogue. It just seems odd he would write such layered dialogue to characterize a villain he always intended to kill off ASAP. I guess it was to play into the whole "subverting the brother trope" but still, it doesn't make the characterization any less interesting
When Raditz tells Goku how their planet was destroyed and how everyone died, he AGAIN emphasizes that this means their parents died too.
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Again, Raditz really seems to put value on his family. Note he says PARENTS not just father. Even Vegeta, for as long as we've gotten to know him, never talks about his father King Vegeta that much (if at all? He's thought about him, but not really talked about him) I find Goku's reaction interesting too, as if deep inside, despite not remembering Bardock and Gine, his heart still feels the pain of losing them. (Could it be possible Raditz noticed his reaction and took that as a sign that Goku felt the bond too, hence his following actions?)
Like @masakoxtra said, Bardock's line seems to be unusually empathetic for Saiyans. (He talks about it at 3:30)
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Even Raditz, despite living his whole life under Frieza's boot and submitting to the bullying and callousness of Vegeta and Nappa and hardening his heart because of it, hasn't completely lost his sense of empathy, it's part of his nature albeit incredibly suppressed.
Raditz then has an unusually distressed response when he realizes Goku doesn't have a tail.
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He doesn't mock him for losing it or immediately gets disgusted by his weakness, he is outright horrified and then gets mad at Goku for letting others just remove his tail (From Raditz's perspective, It would be like if Goku just let his arm get cut off to fit in with a race of one-armed aliens).
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For Raditz, he views it as a form of betrayal, not just of his race, but the idea that his own brother would rather pass as a lowly earthling than embrace his own heritage (family being something Raditz clearly values) really gets to Raditz on an emotional level.
Now that I think about it, Raditz kinda goes through 4 out of 5 of the stages of grief for the brief time he's alive.
His first reaction is denial that Goku had forgot him and accepted life on earth, then anger that he would rather live as an earthling than be with his Saiyan kin, and then he starts the bargaining phase, trying to entice Goku with the idea of fighting saying that he's a Saiyan and it's in his blood.
When that bargaining doesn't work, he resorts to a different form of bargaining.
Blackmail.
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Raditz steals Gohan trying to force Goku to join him. He tells Goku to kill 100 humans by tomorrow as proof of his submission, but pay attention to the wording:
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Raditz says "when you decide to join us, and you WILL decide to" that's how much confidence he has in Goku's devotion towards his son EVEN THOUGH Goku's a Saiyan.
Raditz doesn't have a shadow of a doubt that Goku will do everything in his power to protect his son, even if he is a weak crybaby. Saiyans don't typically care much for their kin as shown in several flashback material later on (in fact it's later explained that they'll completely disown and abandon babies that are too weak to be considered useful. They have a very Spartan-esque society).
But Raditz knows he can use Gohan as leverage because Raditz actually understands emotional connections between family members, something he would've likely valued all the more being considered weak himself.
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A lot of times people are able to use emotional manipulation because they either understand or were a victim of similar manipulation.
He then warns Goku that he might as well comply because everyone is going to die anyway, the earth being scheduled for purging. He hammers home the point that Goku's defiance is pointless and he really doesn't have a choice anyway so he may as well submit.
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But what Raditz is doing here is almost an act of compassion (for a Saiyan). The way he sees it, Goku will die if he doesn't comply, so joining them is the only way he'll be able to survive. If he didn't care about Goku's life, why warn him? Why give him a chance to prove himself?
In fact, why would Raditz need Goku to prove himself when he was willing to take him without that before?
This is just an idea, but could it be...because of his scouter?
Remember, his scouter was open the entire time so Vegeta and Nappa are listening in. If Vegeta was listening it, after hearing about Goku's weak power level and his defiance and kind-nature, Raditz probably knew Vegeta might just dispose of Goku when they returned, considering him a disgrace to the Saiyan race. So Raditz has to have Goku prove himself by killing a bunch of humans to show Vegeta he's worth keeping alive.
It's horrific in Goku's eyes, but to Raditz, the lives of a few humans is inconsequential compared to his brother. This again is why Raditz says Goku has no choice, Vegeta won't give them a choice.
This also might be desperation on Raditz's part. If we are to consider the opening of Dragonball Z: Kakarot canon, Vegeta and Nappa mock him, Nappa going as far as to declare it's why he's called "Raditz the Runt", apparently a knickname he's saddled with in the Frieza force.
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Raditz, instead of responding angrily or protesting as most Saiyans would, bows his head and pathetically apologizes, promising things will be different next time, showing that not only is this bullying common, but Raditz has just accepted it at this point. The way Raditz treats Goku when meeting him may stem from this treatment, he's trying to sway his brother the only way he's seen, through brute force and intimidation.
But Vegeta, getting sick of Raditz's weakness, promises to kill him if he screws up again, and if Vegeta promises death, you know it's coming. Raditz, panicking as his self-preservation instincts kick in, mentions his brother, saying he can help make things easier, but really Raditz just doesn't want Vegeta to kill him. Even then, Vegeta scoffs "The fact that he's YOUR brother doesn't exactly fill me with confidence" It's possible that Raditz did actually forget his brother and it was only in his panic, scrambling mentally for any way to save his life, that in that moment of desperation he at last remembered Kakarot.
Again, if we are to consider this conversation canon, Raditz needs Goku to survive to better the odds of his own survival, it's only after he's in a pod heading to Earth that he has time to think about Kakarot and wonder why he hasn't tried contacting them after so long.
But back to the OG manga, After Raditz gives Goku his ultimatum, he says this:
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Again, he could've stopped at "I hope you don't disappoint me" but to follow it up by emphasizing it's for both his and Gohan's sake is noteworthy.
And even though Raditz clearly doesn't have much of a connection with Gohan as he does with Goku, I find this bit particularly interesting:
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He barks at Gohan to stop crying and states that he possesses the proud blood of Saiyans. Yes, he is annoyed by Gohan's crying, but he also feels that he's better than that since he is still a Saiyan and wants him to be strong.
I like to imagine that Raditz is repeating something Bardock told him when he cried as a child, it feels like a very Bardock thing to say.
I particularly like the english dub of this scene, Justin Cook gives such an interesting and tender delivery of the line.
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Also I really like how Raditz pauses to look at Gohan before walking away in the anime, I like to interpret it as Raditz seeing a bit of himself as a child in Gohan, but quickly burying those feelings.
There's a little fancomic I found that really drives that idea home.
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When Goku and Piccolo show up, before they even fight, Raditz says this:
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Again, why warn Goku? This feels more like Raditz is still in the bargaining mindset, he's trying to get his brother to give up and now must resort to brutally beating him to get his point through.
And then followed by this.
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Remember, his scouter is open, so it's entirely possible he's acting ruthless and declaring they'll die so he won't look soft to Vegeta. I mean, he'd kill Piccolo without a thought, yeah, but Goku...? It may still be a bluff.
Plus, if he was serious about killing them, why stand around and let them plot instead of finishing them off?
The tail scene is where we see Raditz's cowardly nature on full display. But I think this moment really enhances his character because most Saiyans probably wouldn't beg for their lives, at least not to the degree Raditz is doing, they're too proud a race.
Raditz starts rambling about how he'd never actually kill his brother and his death threats were just bluffs.
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Yes, we know it's a ploy to get free, but could there be an iota of truth in there? The fact he could've cut off his tail but was waiting for Piccolo to fire off his second Makenkosopo shows that Raditz is a quick thinker and very calculating.
Plus he probably didn't want to have to lose his tail unless he absolutely HAD to.
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Goku was NOT stupid for letting go.
After Goku releases him, Raditz mocks his softness stating that he, a Saiyan-warrior wouldn't hesitate to kill their own brother, only to confusedly ask if Goku wants "a demonstration".
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Like, if he wouldn't hesitate to kill his brother, why is he hesitating to kill his brother?
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He's not killing him, he's torturing him, he could easily end it.
Remember that Double Sunday he shot off with ease earlier?
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And of course after Raditz and Goku get turned into donuts, Raditz says one of the saddest lines in retrospect:
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Like, he is relying on Vegeta and Nappa to save him, believing that they'll value him as a Saiyan and bring him back because HE HAS NO ONE ELSE TO RELY ON.
Right before he dies, he's in a sort of stage 4 depression where he can't believe this is how his life is going to end, dying alone and disgraced on some backwater planet at the hands of his own brother, their family line coming to a miserable end. He's never allowed to come to stage 5: acceptance (which is often where the change in a person's perspective/character tends to happen) because he dies and is forgotten.
Another thing that makes me sad Raditz didn't survive is cuz he's the perfect medium between Goku and Vegeta.
Goku rejects his saiyan heritage while Vegeta clings to it, but Raditz feels like he could easily straddle both worlds. He'd cling to his saiyan heritage out of love and respect for his parents (He'd still call Goku Kakarot, not because "it's a Saiyan name" like Vegeta, but because it's the name Bardock and Gine gave, his reason a much more personal one).
However, Raditz would have plenty of things NOT to like about Saiyan society, especially with how he and his father were treated as low-class warriors.
Being on earth, surrounded by kind people who don't belittle him and show basic kindness and respect would quickly endear Raditz to earth (remember, Bardock's kin are unusually empathetic for Saiyans).
Plus, being around Goku, who'd no doubt encourage and be proud of Raditz whilst training, would do a lot to boost Raditz's confidence (Goku looking like Bardock a way to ease his yearning to prove himself to his father) and further make him enjoy earth.
I like to imagine that, while Goku always wears a training gi from earth and Vegeta always wears some semblance of saiyan armor, Raditz would probably have a saiyan breastplate resembling Bardock's (as a kind of tribute to his dad) and go with loose pants like Goku which is good for training, visually symbolizing his willingness to find the balance between two worlds.
If Raditz had survived in the canon, this could've played even further into Vegeta's sense of isolation post-Cell arc. During his whole Majin Vegeta vs Goku fight speech, he could've said something like "And imagine the frustration I felt, when the only other pure-blood of my race left, your brother, that low-level trash who'd trembled for years under my elite warrior might, not only obtained the power of a super saiyan, but deemed me, ME the prince of all Saiyans UNWORTHY of his time! UNWORTHY FOR HIM TO FIGHT!"
Oh, and...
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Must run in the family.
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raining-anonymously ¡ 2 months ago
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i really really appreciate how much the mouthwashing gameplay emphasizes that curly is still a feeling human person after the crash. he reacts to every single thing that happens around him. he makes decisions. he changes his behavior as the game progresses. these subtle details are everything to me. he’s not a prop.
CW for discussion of medical abuse, forcefeeding, torture, gore, autocannibalism, basically everything curly experiences in-game
“he doesn’t want to keep still any more.” our first line in curly’s presence. anya doesn’t say “he won’t keep still anymore,” she says he doesn’t want to. this diction provides a sharp contrast to jimmy, whose only acknowledgment of curly’s desires comes up when he puts words in curly’s mouth, while anya observes curly’s body language to extrapolate what he actually wants and needs. she considers him a person, just as the player is meant to; jimmy does not.
the progression of the pills scenes. in the first one, he’s in about as little pain as we see him. he just chokes it down.
in the second pills scene, anya is late on giving him the pills and he’s clearly in great pain, crying, tossing and turning even though that probably just hurts him more. i do think the way the crying can be heard through the entire ship is jimmy’s auditory hallucination, but it was loud enough to wake jimmy up from the lounge. when jim actually does give him the pills, curly briefly resists, but after that first hit, he cries out in pain and then gives this strangled “huh?” before the beating continues. he cries out a couple more times before realizing jimmy wants him to be quiet, and he stops crying out, lets jimmy give him the pills, and sobs quietly before going silent.
in the third pills scene, curly seems to be trying not to make noise or resist. he still sobs after the pills go down and falls quiet after.
after anya’s and daisuke’s deaths, curly lies so still and quiet that i’ve witnessed multiple players be shocked that he’s still alive when his chest moves.
and the infamous laughter… that’s definitive proof that curly isn’t just reacting to stimuli like pain (which would not make him less of a person, for the record) but actively observing and thinking about the events around him.
when jimmy picks curly up. despite the fact that having his burns pressed against another person would be excruciating, curly does not react. just breaths hoarsely and keeps his eye locked on jimmy — until he ends up on the table surrounded by the corpses. then, and only then, does his breath get panicky, and he starts to cry softly.
cutting the leg. my goodness, those screams. incredible voice acting, first of all, but it really stands out to me that it isn’t a terrifying, inhuman scream. it’s very human, very desperate and pained, mixed with heaving, awful sobs. and afterward? curly’s so shaken that he’s visibly moving his jaw on his own as he gasps for breath. and the look in his eye…
in the force feeding scene — which, in my mind, was a hallucinatory version of real events — curly is silent and still. he only moves or cries out when he’s forced to via vomiting or the wheels turning (though the latter is likely imagined). he doesn’t react to anything else. doesn’t even hold up his head. but he gives these pained cries when the wheels turn, and this draws awareness to how he’s being treated as a prop here with intention. he’s being dehumanized, reduced to an object, but we as the player are painfully aware that this is a person. he’s not reacting more because he’s shutting down from all the trauma he’s experienced.
and i have a lot in my head about the juxtaposition of curly POV scenes with jimmy interacting with post-crash curly scenes. they’re often perfectly timed to remind you that the person on the cot, on the table, or in your arms is the same man who you were a minute ago, and vice versa.
just. man. mouthwashing emphasizes curly’s humanity at every corner, and that makes his story so much more horrifying.
i really like this game and i really like that it displays a disabled character being dehumanized by the player character while also emphasizing to the player that this is not right.
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eightstarr ¡ 7 months ago
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what's mine — ellie williams.
summary: the day you left for this assignment, ellie remembers thinking it would be okay— or maybe it was you who said it, your hands over her tense shoulders, her fingers tugging at your shirt, “you’ll be okay.” she goes home and knows it to be true, like words from a god. she’ll be okay and you’ll be back. what’s left to do but count the hours?
warnings: descriptions of violence (not very detailed), suggestive content near the end!
notes: uhhh i love being dramatic and i think it shows here. all i think about is the action of coming home to someone who loves you and how it is as meaningful now as it was a thousand years ago and as it will be in a hundred years but whatever haha sorry about that guys. if you read this i love you btw
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・。.・゜✧・. ────
Being without Ellie is disorienting. The first week feels like walking alone in a dark room, feeling the walls for a light switch, running into sharp corners that stab your sides. You miss her like it's a sickness, less a longing and more a threat to whatever you’re made of.
There's a small community way outside of Jackson offering a trade. Maria makes it sound simple, like everything else. “They know us, it’ll be quick. You pick up the supplies, drop off our part of the deal, and come back.”
It takes 26 days. The exchange is simple but the journey less so, you and three others have to carry home the much needed medical supplies through herds of infected and a heavy storm that slows you down and cuts off your communication for three terrifying nights.
Ellie wanders the house and feels like a stranger, sickly, a sleepless corpse searching for living blood. The light coming through the windows feels too bright and her skin abnormally cold. She knows, or thinks, that if she’s not careful she could get lost in it— merge every wall together until there’s nothing left to see but a stark flatness, an unfamiliar box. The space is not huge. It's not a tall castle or a manor in the countryside or anything fitting to the theatricality of loneliness, but it’s your home. So much of you is in it. Ellie finds herself focusing on a different thing each passing day, clinging to them with a nauseating desperation, a hundred random pieces of you scattered like breadcrumbs to keep her sane. A book with a folded corner somewhere along the first half of the story, your favorite mug next to the sink, an old pair of jeans ripped at the knee on your side of the drawer. Too many things for you not to come back.
“Do you think I'm losing my mind?” she asks, a soft wrinkle between her furrowed brows, her eyes focused on a random spot ahead. “I mean, it’s been two weeks,” she’s trying to sound like it's not as bad as it looks, like she finds any of it funny or interesting instead of plainly horrifying. The sole of her shoes hits the floor in an anxious rhythm, mocking her— tap, tap, tap, tap. “Isn’t that fucked up?”
Dina curses at the lighter until it flickers back to life with a weak orange flame, holding it near the end of the half finished blunt. She inhales and passes it over, breathing out, “You’re not crazy.”
A pause. Ellie lets the comment comfort her for a single second before it flies right through her head, sounding more quiet than usual when she admits, “...I have this feeling like someone took something from me.”
Dina raises her eyebrows, her chuckle cut off by a short cough, smoke itching her throat. “You mean, like… what’s her name?” she squints her eyes and tries to remember. 
The name worms around Ellie’s head like it has been for days, bold letters, clear as day. She makes no attempt to let it pass through her lips, self aware and unrelenting at the same time, maybe finding some indefensible satisfaction in the fact that it can be forgotten. Cruel, you'd tease, and Ellie would smirk a lot like she tries not to now.
Dina gives up a second later, “Whatever— the girl that volunteered to go with them before you could. You're blaming her?”
“I guess.”
“Hm. That’s a little…”
“Don’t say crazy—”
“Crazy.”
“Fuck you,” she rolls her eyes. “It’s not like that.”
“So you’re not jealous?”
Ellie scoffs, tongue pressed against the inside of her cheek. Dina argues unlike anyone else. She’s confident, her goal clear and her strategy already lined up before you get a word in, loaded like a gun. But her strongest contender, perhaps the only one, might be Ellie’s simple stubbornness. “I’m concerned. She got picked over me even though I've studied that route a hundred fucking times. I could've done a better job,” she says, steady and tireless like bulletproof glass.
“At getting the supplies or at taking care of your girlfriend?”
“You’re starting to sound like Maria.”
Dina pauses for a short moment before she shrugs. “Maria makes good points.”
Ellie takes one last hit of the blunt and flicks it across the room to die out somewhere on the permanently damp floor. She tries to believe it. No one took you, she thinks, you left dutifully like anyone else in Jackson would've, like Ellie would've. It’s a dangerous trip but a job like any other, the same risk of deadly infection that comes with any of them. She should be used to it by now. Does it not also exist every other day of the year?
Still, she can't remember the last time she didn't see your face for this long. You’ve been dating for a little over three years, living together for half of that— it's a terrifyingly meaningful chunk of your young lives, months and months of seeing you everyday, of falling asleep with her face on the crook of your neck and waking up with your fingers pressing into her waist. You've built a world where things like this don’t happen, where all Ellie can think about as she leaves home is the way you hum in the mornings, soft and sleepy and so fucking cute, when you wake up to her back against your chest and her hair on your face. She thinks about her own laugh, how shy it sounds, how your lips press to her head before she turns around to claim a proper kiss.
But now you’re not here, and she’s too terrified to even utter the words out loud, and there's a hole in her chest where you should be that makes her feel insane everywhere she goes. It's an open wound leaving a hazardous trail of shame and memories, humming in her ears like a boiling kettle, who took what's mine?
Ellie has never considered herself to be the jealous type, but she never was the type to sleep with her back turned to someone this comfortably, either. It’s different with you. It's theatricality, it’s the coldness of that bed at night, it’s your legs tangled with hers like growing roots now disjointed. It’s a thing, breathing and alive, screaming at nothing— I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.
Is that girl you went with hanging from your every word in that way she always does? Is that a shameful thought to have? Ellie wipes it clean in a second and finds it immediately there again, at the front of her mind like a message on a cloudy mirror. She can't think about anything else. Is the storm keeping the two of you awake? Does a part of you find the girl brave for volunteering? Is she turning to look at you and asking, just loud enough, are you asleep? That fall earlier was rough, how are you feeling? Is she looking at your wounds like they matter more than doing a good job? Is your blood, warm and red and yours, on her hands now?
The last of the smoke spills past her lips in a sigh. Ellie pulls her knees closer to her chest and tugs at the loose thread on your ripped jeans.
─────✧・゚: *✧・
There’s a comfortable weight that keeps you under, the loving press of her arm resting over your chest, her thumb brushing your chin. The sun feels warm where it’s draped across Ellie’s back, white tank top wrinkled slightly up her waist.
She watches you until you let out a little sigh, squint one eye open and then slowly the next, a smile stretching your lips as soon as your sight focuses on her. She looks beautiful. She looks just like she did before you left, your girl.
It’s weird— you’ve showered, scrubbed your hands clean and raw, changed clothes. And still you feel like you’ve brought in something dirty, like it’ll be stuck on you for a while, the grime, the guns, the storm. Your muddy shoes must still be sitting by the front door. Something in your head screams that you should get rid of them, burn them like an evidence of guilt. Do you look anything like you did before you left? You feel like a worn version of yourself, sticky and darkened. It’s a ridiculous worry to have, but the thought comes hand in hand with embarrassment and you can feel it crawling up your neck. You cover your face with your hands and groan tiredly, shy.
Ellie laughs, warm like musk, salve on a wound.
"Are you watching me sleep?" you mutter, voice ridden with exhaustion and joy all at once. The thing, love, obsession, both— breathes along with you. "Freak."
"Yeah, I was,” she shifts to sit on your lap, one knee on either side of you, spilling her confession easily. Ellie leans over to push your hands away from your face and press her lips to yours, passionate but short lived, still softly brushing against each other when she says, "I missed this face."
You chuckle, eyes tracing over her freckled cheeks, hands squeezing her thighs, feeling strangely like you’re being washed clean. “I missed you.”
Ellie closes her eyes and rests her forehead against yours, her fingers caressing your cheeks, looking at you again when her thumb brushes against the ridge of a scar. It’s a warped line that almost follows the shape of your cheekbone, from your hairline to somewhere near the corner of your lips. She'd seen it last night, nauseous with worry and relief to have you back, her vision clouded. The morning reveals it in a different, heartbreaking light. It’s okay, you’d said during the night, your hands on either side of her face much like hers are on you now, didn't even need stitches. Ellie tries to let that sink in, make the guilt feel any better. But it can't. Maybe you’d been saved the prick of a needle, but she knows it still hurt, she knows it bled and stung. It feels like a betrayal. If I can't save you the pain, she thinks, I owe you the witnessing, the chance to clean its wry edges, pat it dry. "How'd you get this one?" she asks, as softly as she can.
You’d been prepared for the question but not the devastation in her eyes. It falls over you like a ton of bricks, her love making your chest ache and sinking you back into the memory.
There was an empty house, or what looked like one. Pieces of broken glass scattered over the rotting wood of an old, wobbly table. A man's hand placed forcefully on your head. The side of your face rammed into the table with a thud when he pushed you down, the faint pain of something slicing into your cheek made worse by your struggle to get free. A kick and he stumbled back. A slice of your knife and he fell dead. You don't think the fact will do much to comfort Ellie. So, in hopes of sparing her, you hum and shake your head. "Come here," you say, or beg, a hand on the back of her neck like fond guidance. "Let me kiss your pretty face."
She feels soft like satin on your lips, tastes like honey and black tea. Ellie kisses like she argues, experienced and unruly all at once, with a point to make— I need you and I want you to know it. Her tongue slips past your parted lips and brings a muffled sound from your throat that almost makes her pull slightly away, if it weren't for the feeling of your fingers tightening on her neck to have her closer. A faint thought crosses Ellie’s mind, a feeling like pity for the person she was before you, whoever that was, an old self who couldn't know what it's like to be devoured so caringly.
She brushes her nose against yours and you let out a sigh that sounds painfully like a prayer, her short hair a dark veil over your eyes when she turns her head to press kisses on your cheek. "You can't leave me like that again," she breathes out.
You swallow her words, a confused wrinkle between your eyebrows. “Ellie—”
A kiss cuts you off. You slide your hands up her thighs to her waist, a surprised hum vibrating against her lips when she wraps her fingers around your wrists and squeezes, as if to keep them there. She leans back and stares into you, and for the first time since you’ve known Ellie, you can't tell if she's commanding you or begging. “I won’t let you.”
It’s a gesture. It goes beyond the reality of your lives, the fact that any day either one of you could be made to leave again, that any day either one of you could die. It means I missed you. It means I need it to be me who looks after you. It means I love you.
Your stomach flutters, hungry with an urgent craving. And like you have every day since you’ve known Ellie, you find yourself unable to deny her love or the indulging promise of a different world— but maybe those mean the same thing. "I'm not leaving you," you say, breathless, and it might as well be true.
Ellie makes a sound in response that feels painfully close to a moan, a soft mmhm that clouds your head of anything that may or may not exist outside of this room. The tip of her nose brushes against your neck and then continues its way down, her fingers sneaking inside your shirt, pulling up the fabric and pressing kisses over the skin that’s revealed. "I love you," she says, almost near the band of your underwear, her blushed lips parted. You feel her breath against the burning fire in your lower stomach, reaching out to cradle her cheek against your hand. She feels hot, flushed pink under her freckles, and you’re not sure if she hears you say I love you, Ellie as much as she watches you mouth the words. She presses her face further into your hand, wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue, begging as if she’d ever have to, “Baby, I need— please.”
You don't hear yourself say yes, but the look in her eyes says you must have.
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livingformintyoongi ¡ 1 month ago
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Cross The Line | Jeon Jungkook
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a/n: This is a little idea I had since I published Echoes of love and as the rest of my pending projects are too long to publish them soon, I brought this as a way to cover my absence :) You can request some scenery for this drabble series through my inbox! Summary: After years of working with Jungkook, your insecurity about your feelings for him begins to grow and become more complex, bringing you to the point where you wonder if you can really keep fooling yourself or if it's time to face those feelings. Pairing: Boss!Reader x Secretary!Jungkook WC: 3.8k Taglist: @thunderg @minjianhyung @queenv1997 @yoongtism @lizzymizzy-blogg @superbbananananana @drpepperobsessed @themwordsblog @taekritimin123 @bluecloudss @yooglefics Dividers by @cafekitsune
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“Is this the last thing on today's agenda?” you murmured, continuing your way to your office. Each step you took was followed by the soft, firm sound of your heels tapping against the floor. Today, you were wearing wine-colored ones, which matched perfectly with your lipstick and shirt in the same shade.
Red was the color you wore when you were about to fire someone or, in worse circumstances, when you were about to end up in an argument with one of your siblings. This time, the correct answer was the second one. You were the second oldest of four siblings, and, well, when your family was as chaotic as yours, you had to take charge of the problems, even if that meant putting your own image at risk.
You hated your life in this sense.
“Yes, boss,” Jungkook replied cheerfully.
Ah, your little—not so little—secretary, Jungkook. To be honest, you hired him because you were desperate to find a secretary as quickly as possible, something that, although it sounded easy, was actually really complicated.
You were a pretty cruel, strict, and direct person. You scared away your workers in less than a month (in fact, the same year you hired Jungkook, you'd already had three other secretaries—three!). Jungkook was your lifesaver. He had just come out of his last job, had a resume that sounded too flattering to be true, and had graduated with honors. You thought he would last only a few months, just like all the others, and you thought you could take full advantage of that time. The surprise came when five months passed and he was still working for you without a single complaint.
Now, it had been a total of four and a half years working together as boss and employee. He had lasted even longer than any relationship you’d ever had—it was officially your longest relationship! Though it wasn’t like you were proud of that.
“After the meeting with your brother, you had a dinner with your family, but it got canceled at the last minute,” Jungkook’s steps quickened as yours grew more impatient and longer. “Oh, and, um, tonight I was planning to have a small party at my apartment for my 27th birthday… in case you’d like, you know, to attend,” he murmured, his tone softer and less playful.
Yes, you might’ve forgotten that little detail. He was hopelessly in love with you, strange, right?
The first time you realized, you almost made him cry because of the horrified look you gave him. Not that the idea grossed you out, but, to be completely honest, you had been torturing him since he started working. You’d call him to work on his days off, ask him to run errands on weekends, force him to stay late to finish your extra work, and you even had to spend three consecutive Christmases together due to the lack of staff that year.
He was an extremely sweet guy, a guy who loved banana milk, Hello Kitty plushies, and fantasy and romance books—you discovered this when you saw him reading The Lunar Chronicles during his lunch break—and then there was you… someone who loved her coffee extremely strong, hated plushies and how ridiculously large they could be, and preferred to read more informational books than fantasy ones.
“Are you celebrating your birthday today?” you said with a disinterested tone, slowing your steps as you approached Soomin’s office, your star employee and—unfortunately—the girlfriend of Taehyung. Your office was under renovation and you couldn’t use it until next week, so you had been using Soomin’s office during this time.
“Yes! I wanted to do it last week, but you were too busy, and I really wanted you to come, but that doesn’t mean you have to if you don’t want to! I understand it’s been a busy week, and even if it hasn’t, you don’t have to come because we’re just coworkers and—”
“I think I got it, Jungkook,” you chuckled quietly, feeling a warmth in your chest at how easy it was to make the young man nervous beside you. You hadn’t even opened your mouth, and he was already rambling like crazy, wasn’t it adorable?
“Oh, yeah, sure…” he muttered as his cheeks heated up and turned red. It was incredibly easy to make him nervous, and you loved making him nervous. Not that you liked it, just... it was cute to see.
You stopped in front of Soomin’s office door, opening it to be greeted by the very unpleasant sight of your older brother sitting in the chair in front of the desk. You rolled your eyes and entered reluctantly, waiting for Jungkook to follow you and close the door behind him.
“Finally, you’re here. I thought I was going to die waiting for you,” Junmyeon got up from the chair, slipping both hands into his designer pants pockets. Your wild side screamed for you to grab the ink from Soomin’s desk and spill it on him, but you weren’t in the mood for family fights. “Good afternoon, Jungkook.”
“Good afternoon,” Jungkook responded in a much deeper and more serious tone than the one he used to speak to you.
One thing you loved about your secretary was how incredibly loyal he was to you. Your brother had tried to offer him a job hundreds of times, putting ridiculously high salaries for a secretary on the table; he turned them all down without thinking.
You’d be lying if you said that didn’t make your heart race a little. Just a little.
“Alright, you have five minutes to tell me what mess you’ve gotten into now. If you’re back in trouble with your girlfriend, then start forgetting about my help. I don’t want any more love problems.”
You still remembered the poor girl who had the terrible luck of dating your brother. You had found him with another girl at a bar near his work, and you were furious enough to go to him and pull a good chunk of hair from the not-so-poor girl.
It was a pity, she was actually someone you liked, made you laugh at every family dinner, and could cook delicious dishes. Plus, she was ridiculously beautiful, and you weren’t even sure what she was doing with your brother.
“It’s nothing serious, I just came here to ask you for a favor,” he said, stepping closer to you but instantly halting as he noticed Jungkook stopping right by his side, his eyes glued to every move he made. Jungkook could be as sweet as sugar most of the time, but he really seemed to raise all his alarms whenever your brother—or any man for that matter—got too close to you.
“There’s an investor I want to get in touch with, but he insisted he’d only speak to me if I arranged a dinner with you.”
“Then he can keep waiting. I’m not going,” you said, turning around, ready to head back home and do anything that didn’t involve spending more time with this idiot. Maybe you’d drop by Taehyung’s place and bother him for a while; he owed you after everything you’d done for him this year.
“Oh, come on, it’s just a dinner. I’m not asking you to sleep with him,” he pressed, reaching out to grab your wrist. His hand was quickly intercepted by Jungkook, who stepped between the two of you and grabbed Junmyeon’s arm with enough strength to give him a little scare."
“She said no, now, please, stop insisting and get lost,” Jungkook said in a calm but firm tone. Both you and your brother shuddered slightly at the tone of his voice, but for completely different reasons.
“Let it go, Jungkook, it’s not worth it,” you placed your hand on his arm, smiling inwardly as you saw how his whole body relaxed at your touch. Why did he have to be so sweet? “I won’t do it, no matter how much you insist. Make sure you leave the door closed when you leave.”
And with that, you left the office, feeling Jungkook’s soft footsteps following you behind. Hearing them calmed you a little more. Maybe, it even made you feel a little safer than before.
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It had been hours since the incident with your brother, hours in which you spent wondering if you should really attend Jungkook’s party or simply ignore it and move on. Would there be any problem if you went? It was just a party, they’d probably eat something, drink a little, talk about trivial things, and then you’d go back home in a taxi. What’s the worst that could happen?
“I really don’t understand what you’re doing here,” Taehyung said, letting out a heavy sigh as he watched you finish off his last reserve of coffee. He hated how bitter it was, but his girlfriend loved to drink coffee in the mornings, so he had gone out of his way to buy one of the stupidly expensive brands he found at the store, with the excuse that “his girlfriend deserved the best of the best.” Both you and Soomin nearly fainted when you heard the price. “Wasn’t Jungkook’s birthday today? Minnie told me she was going to his apartment tonight for that reason.”
“It is, but I don’t know if I should go,” you murmured, stirring your third spoonful of coffee into your cup before filling it to the brim with boiling water. You didn’t miss the grimace of disgust from your friend as he watched how you prepared your drink. He had no right to blame you when he ate far worse things.
“Why not? I thought you liked him, I mean, you even have him as Jungkookie in your phone,” he raised an eyebrow, his tone playful, resting his forearms on the kitchen counter. All his attention was on you and how you tried to drink your coffee in one gulp.
The burn in your throat was enough to distract you from whatever you’d been feeling in your chest all afternoon. Just like your father used to say, there was nothing better than pain to heal another pain.
“He’s my secretary.”
“He’s a guy.”
“He’s my worker, Taehyung.”
“He’s a pretty handsome guy, Y/N.”
You both exchanged looks for a few seconds, neither of you commenting on it.
“I’m ready!” Soomin entered the kitchen, looking just as charming as always. She wore a beige dress with a plaid coat in autumn tones. Her hair was gracefully tied in a high ponytail, giving her a cheerful and youthful look.
It didn’t go unnoticed by you that both of them were matching, nor could you ignore the loving and admiring look Taehyung gave her as soon as her small figure appeared at the kitchen door.
“You look as dazzling as ever, darling,” Taehyung said in a soft, honeyed tone. His hand took hers and made her spin once before pulling her close to kiss her temple.
And there you were. In front of them. Watching them exchange sweet words and romantic gestures.
You felt incredibly out of place.
“Please tell me you’re staying here, because I don’t think I can handle a ride in the same car as you two,” you muttered with a grimace of disgust, looking at Taehyung with the most pleading look you could muster.
“Of course I’ll go, he’s my friend too,” he responded with a teasing smile as he wrapped his arms around Soomin’s waist.
You wanted to hit him. You wanted to grab his perfectly styled hair and pull it until he was bald. He deserved it.
“I hate you.”
“I adore you too.”
And you responded by flipping him off.
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“Wait, what did you say?” you frowned, watching as both Taehyung and Soomin stayed in the car, looking at you through the open window.
“I’m so sorry, I really don’t know how I forgot the gift at home,” yeah, maybe it was because Taehyung had been too busy kissing her poor face to think about anything else, “We won’t take long, I promise, it’ll be a quick trip there and back.”
You sighed when you heard Soomin. You didn’t want to arrive alone, especially not when you didn’t know how many people would be at Jungkook’s birthday party, but you also understood that they didn’t want to show up without the gift they had bought for him. After all, it was his party.
“Fine, go ahead, I’ll go first,” you said quietly, shaking your hair in frustration. Was it Taehyung’s fault? Half of it, would you hate him for it? Totally. He was your friend, and you had every right to want to choke him for putting you in this situation. You could see it in that smug smile he was giving you; Soomin could say it was an accident, but Taehyung’s face screamed that it was a carefully planned trap.
He would pay for this.
“We’ll be back in a bit,” Soomin murmured with an apologetic smile just before the car drove off, leaving you completely alone in the apartment complex where Jungkook lived.
“Okay, I guess it’ll just be you and me,” you looked at the gift bag in your hand, letting your feet take you to the door marked 309, where the party was supposed to be.
The walk there was silent, the only noise in the place was the sound of your boots clicking against the slick floors of the building’s hallways and the occasional little voice screaming at you to go back home, that this was a bad idea, that you weren’t made for these kinds of things.
You were supposed to be that rich, single aunt that all the nieces and nephews loved because she took them on amazing vacations and all that stuff you always saw in movies. You weren’t the protagonist, you were the supporting character that everyone remembered, whether they loved you or hated you.
Yet, here you were, in front of Jungkook’s apartment, holding a small gift bag, impatiently waiting for him to open the door and greet you so you could stop hearing that voice in your head telling you to run away from this place.
“Hey-” Jungkook stopped halfway through the word when he realized it was you on the other side of his door. Although he had expected you to come, he never thought you would actually show up.
You had been ignoring his birthday invitations since, well, since he started inviting you.
“Miss Y/N, you came!” A big smile spread across his face, and his eyes seemed to light up even more than usual. You forced yourself to ignore the pressure in your chest at seeing him so excited about your appearance.
“Just call me Y/N, we’re not at work,” you murmured, swaying awkwardly in your spot. “Can I, uh, you know, come in?”
“Oh, yes, sorry! Please, come in!” He stepped aside, giving you space to enter his small but cozy home.
You carefully stepped in, taking off your shoes and placing them to the side, quietly thanking Jungkook for the slippers he offered so you could come in.
“I’m sorry for coming alone, Taehyung and Soomin forgot something and went back,” you said as you walked further into the space. You noticed how all the walls were painted black, with several monochrome paintings hanging on them.
You were quite surprised to see that everything in his home was dark-toned. It was very similar to yours in that sense, something that made you feel a little more at ease. At least your tastes in home decor were similar.
Your house was much larger, always dark, and the atmosphere always felt cold and lonely. It was hard to feel that here. You convinced yourself it was due to the warm lighting and the coziness of the place, not Jungkook’s presence.
"Should I offer you something to drink? I have wine, champagne… I also have beer and soju," Jungkook's voice sounded a little muffled as his head was deep inside the refrigerator. You chuckled softly at this, gently pressing your fingers against your mouth to prevent him from noticing.
"Soju is fine, thanks," you watched as he pulled out two bottles and placed them on the counter, quickly heading to one of the kitchen cabinets to grab two small glasses. "Didn't you invite more people?" you asked after seeing him stop in front of you, performing some completely unnecessary bottle tricks. At least he had made you laugh a little.
"I celebrated my birthday last week with my university friends, today I just wanted to invite the people from work," he served the alcohol until both glasses were filled to the brim, his gaze occasionally drifting to your face. He could act charismatic, but you could notice the slight tremble in his hands and how he licked his lips from time to time. "I didn't mention it earlier because I thought it wouldn't be important."
You nodded silently, drinking the shot he just handed you in one go. You needed to ease some of the tension in your body, and alcohol was definitely the best option for now. "So I guess it will just be the four of us."
"Oh, yeah, I thought you'd feel more comfortable this way," he murmured softly, tapping his fingers on the glass of his cup. "I know you don't like to hang out with too many people, especially if it's people you don't know."
You took the soju bottle and poured yourself another full glass. You'd need more than two bottles to get through this night without doing something you'd regret tomorrow. Jungkook wasn't helping at all.
"Thanks for that," you gave him a tight-lipped smile, watching the clear liquid in your glass. How much longer until Soomin and Taehyung arrived? "Oh, yes, almost forgot," you left the small gift bag you were carrying on the counter, noticing how Jungkook's eyes lit up again at what seemed like a new discovery to him. Hadn't he seen you bring it when you entered?
"Is this for me?" He looked at you with wide eyes and a big smile on his face.
You pinched your wrist tightly as your stomach twisted. "Uh, yeah, obviously, you're the only birthday person."
"Right, of course, I forgot," he clumsily took the bag in his hands, swallowing hard as he looked inside. "Can I open it now?"
You nodded silently, feeling your hands start to sweat at the thought of him opening your gift right then. You had planned on asking him to open it when you weren't around, when you wouldn’t have to see his face as he looked at it. There was something about having to give him something alone that made you feel too nervous for your own good.
You watched carefully as he pulled out the black velvet box, your eyes fixed on his expression as he lifted the lid and saw the contents.
It was only when you saw his cheeks turn a soft pink that you realized maybe buying him a ring hadn’t been the best idea...
"Is... is this... really for me?" He looked up, watching you with such hopeful, soft eyes and... so him that you couldn't help but blush as well.
This was not going as it was supposed to.
"Ah, yes, it's not necessary for you to wear it if you don't want to, I just thought you might like it and I bought it, but—" you stopped when you noticed him clumsily taking the ring out of the velvet and putting it on his index finger.
"I love it! Thank you so much, Y/N, I promise I’ll never take it off!" He stretched his arms toward you, and before you could do anything to stop him, he wrapped his arms around you over the counter, pulling you against him tightly.
You felt your breath catch in your throat as the scent of his shampoo and perfume hit you from so close, and the body heat from his arms didn't help with the accelerated pounding of your heart. What were you supposed to do now? Pulling away from the hug would be rude, but accepting it might be too unethical. He was your secretary. There was a line that couldn’t be crossed.
The thing was… you didn’t want to separate from the hug.
You relaxed a little at his touch, letting your own arms wrap around his body carefully. Not pressing too hard, as if doing it more gently would prevent your relationship from breaking down even further.
You stayed like that for what felt like an eternity. Both of you too absorbed in each other to really pay attention to the time or the situation you were in. You couldn’t remember the last time you let a man hug you like this.
“Y/N, I…” Jungkook pulled back a bit, just enough for your faces to be dangerously close. His arms were still tightly wrapped around you, refusing to let go at any moment.
You watched as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed and licked his lips. You weren’t supposed to notice these things, you reminded yourself, but it was too hard when it was all you had in your line of vision, and closing your eyes was even worse than keeping them open.
“I know you already know this, but I…” his voice was too soft, too low. Oh, shit, you knew what was coming, you had experienced it a few years ago. It was the same tone he used the first time he confessed his feelings to you. Your heart started pounding against your ribs, and you forced yourself to think that it was due to the anxiety and panic the situation caused you, that it was due to all the problems you’d have if he said it again. It wasn’t at all because you actually wanted to hear those words again.
Of course not.
Then everything happened too fast. You watched his eyes wander until they stopped on your lips, how his tongue ran over them, over that ring on the corner, and god, he was making your task of acting like a responsible adult so difficult. Soon his face began to move closer to yours, his gaze wandering from your mouth to your eyes, making sure you wanted this, kind of asking if you were okay with him getting dangerously close.
And for a moment, you thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, maybe, just maybe, a moment like this could be accepted, even if just once, so you closed your eyes and waited. You could feel his breath mixing with yours, how his nose barely brushed against yours, and just as his lips were about to touch yours... the door knocked.
“Shit,” Jungkook muttered quietly, lowering his head as he took a deep breath. His arms quickly released their grip around your shoulders, leaving you with a cold feeling where they had been holding you, “It must be Taehyung and Soomin… I’ll go open,” he whispered, stumbling out of the kitchen to open the door, leaving you completely alone.
You covered your mouth with your hand, staring at a blank spot on the counter, replaying everything that had just happened in your head. You were screwed, you were really screwed, even though nothing happened, you were inches away from kissing him, and god knows what else you could have done…
You thought you heard Soomin’s cheerful voice getting closer, but you couldn’t understand what she was saying, you were too busy thinking about what the hell you were going to do with… well, whatever had just happened.
When you looked up, you found yourself facing Jungkook again, both exchanging a silent glance, both communicating something completely different. Yours reflected panic and terror, his, hope and joy.
You had crossed the damn line you promised not to touch, and it was all your fault.
Yes, you were screwed, and you needed to find a way to fix things as soon as possible.
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Masterlist.
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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint ¡ 1 year ago
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Hello 👋 can I get a little body switcheru with twist dorm liders and Yuu? Even better if we'd have F!Yuu in this one ❤️!
I don't think I'll be doing all the dorm leaders right now but just a few 🖤🖤🖤
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Body Switch | Yandere Twisted Wonderland
What a gift! To see precisely what your obsession sees, to touch with their perfect hand, to hear their lovely voice whenever they opened their mouth. Oh, the possibilities are endless! No matter the circumstance this is the stuff of dreams nightmares:
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Vil Schoenheit
“OH SEVENS!”
Is at first horrified at the feeling of not being in his perfectly preened body
In his clean and not dingy home
But it diminishes when he realizes the one screaming in the dirty mirror is you
His precious love
“Ergh these black heads are insane. My potato has been neglecting their routine. That’ll be good to make a note of.”
He immediately gets to work
He has to make the next 24 hours in his dearest’s body count 
and he’s got so much to do and such little time
Immediately he inspects your home and makes a note of everything that’s lacking in Ramshackle
Perfect ammunition for his proposal to move to Pomefiore
Next he reads your diary or journal if you have one
And he dives into your photos and makes a mental note to send more headshots to you
Next he goes to Rook
“We have less than 12 hours before I return, get your camera.”
Already planned and prepared the photos are perfection
Next he takes your measurements 
Both for clothes and for ropes and fluffy cuffs
He debates deleting your friends from your contacts
But he’s not petty he is he’ll just send a text or two with passive aggressive undertones
And when he’s got close to an hour 
He takes the time to…examine your every inch …careful to not leave a mess behind
“So…soft and round…they will look glorious in couture.”
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Idia Shroud
“Eeek! It worked!”
Spends nearly an hour squealing and jumping around
But then he goes to the mirror and starts his fantasy 
Using your lips to confess an undying love to Idia Shroud 
He records it and everything 
Next he goes to his room, already set up to allow a very specific code
He goes to his dorm
Everything is going perfectly to plan
Next he plans to dress you in the cosplay he already has your measurements for
“Yes! Now I just have to take this o-o-off! Ack! T-their s-skin! No! I can’t e-e-even if I’ve s-seen it through the camra it is so different!”
He genuinely can’t make it past your shirt
Too embarrassed and caught up in simply seeing all your skin
So instead he’ll move onto the next objective
Going to the pick up spot he’d already designated
Riding calmly as your taken to some unknown artificial island 
“Hehehe well at least one objective was completed…let’s just say that other one isn’t one of my skill levels just yet. Hehehe I’ll have more than enough time to level up though!”
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Malleus Draconia
Someone or you must have said that little expression
“Try walking in my shoes! Its really inconvenient when you scare everyone away from me!”
“In your shoes?”
So he tries it 
Having your body become his own, allowing a day without his, in your words: overpowered bod
Oh is he warm
So warm he feels like your constantly hugging him 
Its immaculate
Than he spends a good while just admiring you in the mirror 
More than happy to study every pore of your skin in great detail
“Oh I did not realize their birth mark was this adorable.”
But he’ll soon find your legs ache so easily
Why can’t he stand straight for seven hours without your knees getting wobbly
Or how defenseless you are 
With nothing but his tiny wisps if his own magic to sense 
Its kind of horrifying 
But as agreed he tries to go throughout the day as you 
Enjoying the attention of all your friends
Granted they send weird looks when he says something odd
But you’ve already employed Grim as ‘his wingman’
Who frantically tries to get him through the day
He learns so much ‘by being in your shoes’ 
“I do not appreciate everyone having such careless interactions with you, especially when the amount of muscle let alone magic is…concerning.”
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