#And is not particularly hiding it?

[stripeyworm]

your manic pixie dream girl and nightmare bad boy all in one I love binggeyuan sooo much. If I'm MIA, it's because I've fallen into quite the rabbit hole lately and going into hibernation!!

[russell-crowe]

house and wilson seeing each other for the first time in months in s08e02

[suzukiblu]

AND! Tim/Not Kon! Carefully navigating a relationship with someone you created to replace your dead best friend, but fell in love with as themself!

“I think you made me kind of a slut, man,” Hunter muses, which would probably not have made Tim choke quite so hard if Hunter hadn’t been speculatively dragging his eyes up his body while he said it.

The part where the other’s draped over the nearest weight bench in this Titans Tower training room and wearing literally nothing but running shorts and sneakers isn’t helping either.

Also Hunter definitely needs a haircut because his hair grew down past his shoulders in development and he didn’t want to cut it after, but Tim is just not emotionally capable of dealing with the barely-restrained curly ponytails and half-ponytails and man-buns he’s been wearing. Just–not even slightly, no. Not even a little bit. 

“You are literally a virgin,” Tim says inanely, trying very hard not to drop either his bo or his literal entire brain on the mats. “I–what? What?” 

Hunter shrugs; rolls onto his back on top of the bench. It leaves him bent backwards over it, back arched and head upside-down as he skims a hand up his bare stomach. Hunter is, somehow, even more tactile and hedonistic than Kon ever was, which Tim is very suddenly being reminded of. 

He debates the merits of panicking. Or maybe, like, running for his life. 

“I said, I think you made me kind of a slut, man,” Hunter repeats, like that’s the part that Tim was trying not to drop his brain over. “Like, either libido-wise or uploads-wise, I dunno.” 

“Wh–I didn’t put anything like–I didn’t–” Tim half-sputters, and the crushing depression that’s taken over most of his life since everyone died on him and Bruce disappeared and Dick gave Robin to Damian is possibly actually just too baffled to be crushing him right now. Hunter gives him a lazy, half-lidded look, tipping his head back a little farther on his neck. His throat is . . . his throat is very, very exposed. And thick. And long and strong and stubbled and– 

Nrgnk, Tim thinks, very faintly.

He did not ever look at Kon’s throat and think things like that. 

He is definitely, definitely thinking those things about Hunter’s, though. 

“Oh my god, you fuckin’ sad-ass wet canary, I don’t mean I think you did it on purpose,” Hunter snorts in exasperation, rolling his eyes like Tim’s an idiot or something. Tim is not an idiot. Tim is actually, like, reasonably intelligent and–he made Hunter. That required being pretty damn smart, actually! Really damn smart, actually! 

. . . and also unfathomably, unfathomably stupid, admittedly. 

“Then what do you mean?” he asks warily, because Hunter is about a month and a half “old”, except also more like nineteen, and has already decided that he does not give a single telekinetically-flying fuck about things like social graces or social filters and it’s frankly a miracle that nobody’s killed him for that yet. Or, uh. Tim. Or killed Tim for that. 

Cassie definitely thought about it, he knows. 

Seriously, though, just–as bad as Kon ever was about anything, Hunter has definitely actively decided to be worse. Which is admittedly a very “Kon” kind of decision to make, except also just . . . absolutely nothing like Kon, at the same time. Hunter literally does not even care that Superman exists, for one thing, and has about as much interest in wearing the “S” as Lex Luthor does, but also does not care Luthor exists either. Like–impressively does not care about either of their existences, in fact. 

Tim might have, uh, overcompensated a little while trying to make sure the “Kon” he was making wouldn’t have as many issues about his gene donors as the real one had, but also Hunter might just be that goddamn contrary. It’s unclear, at this point. 

“Oh, like I keep thinking about fucking climbing somebody,” Hunter says. “Like, literally? I’m pretty sure I could do it literally. You know, could float a bit if I had to, whatever.” 

“I mean, you’re very, uh��tactile,” Tim attempts awkwardly, really not knowing how to approach this conversation. “And still only have about five minutes of experience with actual human contact, but also teenage hormones? So wanting to, uh–be tactile with a lot of people isn’t necessarily, you know . . . uh.” 

“I meant I wanna climb somebody specific, Wet Canary,” Hunter corrects dryly, rolling his eyes again. “Not like, literally everyone I know. Well–okay, also Starfire and Nightwing. But like, Starfire and Nightwing, so can you blame me?” 

“I plead the fifth,” Tim says, since that is his sort-of-brother and his sort-of-brother’s situationship that Hunter is talking about right now and he just . . . he just needs the plausible deniability there at least, okay? And also does not have the time to have a sexuality crisis right now either. Like, that’s just not going to fit in his schedule, despite all Hunter’s–Hunter-ness being a thing. 

“Maybe also Red Hood,” Hunter muses speculatively, drumming his fingers on his stomach. Tim . . . does not know how he feels about that. At all. Either the fact that Hunter is talking like he’s actually attracted to guys, or the fact that one of the guys he apparently finds attractive is Jason.

“You know he literally beat me half to death once, right?” he reminds him. Hunter smirks at him. 

“Yeah, and I bet he looked hot as fuck doing it,” he says. 

“. . . . . . I plead the fifth,” Tim mutters. Hunter drops his head back even further on his neck and cackles. Tim does not think anything about his throat. Like–definitely he does not. 

“Also I would definitely sit in your Bat-daddy’s lap, if you guys ever figure out if he’s dead or not,” Hunter decides, nodding to himself as he says it. 

Tim falls off the mats. Or like–the floor, maybe? Like–that’s just what happens, yeah. Hunter laughs at him again. 

“I hate you,” Tim mutters extremely feelingly, attempting to just . . . just attempting, maybe. Literally he does not even know what he’s “attempting”, except maybe to not to have a heart attack at eighteen and a half. 

“Aw, too bad, ‘cuz you literally made me so therefore you did this to yourself,” Hunter replies with a broad grin. Tim definitely hates him. “Maybe you should work on all that self-punishing shit, man, you coulda made a way nicer guy than me.” 

“I was trying to make Kon, that really would not have happened,” Tim retorts dryly, and then wonders when exactly his dark humor got this dark. Well–logically, it would’ve been somewhere around all the dead people and all, he guesses, but still. 

“Really, because literally no one has described that dude to me as anything but, like, a socially-awkward marshmallow who was just constantly fronting whatever overbearing ‘please like me’ behavior he thought would work,” Hunter says, giving him a wry look. “Literally. Literally no one. I think the dog thinks he was a marshmallow, in fact.” 

“Right, and you’re so hardcore and edgy over there,” Tim says, eyeing him briefly. 

“I mean I’m capable of, like, things like saying ‘no’ to people who aren’t active supervillains actively trying to murder somebody not me,” Hunter replies reasonably. “So I’d like to think I’m at least, like, nougat or something. Maybe a caramel.” 

“You are not even Nutella, Hunter,” Tim says, and Hunter laughs again and then rolls back over and shifts up to straddle the weight bench, his thighs very . . . thighs about it. Tim tries not to be a weird little freak about said thighs, but in no way is he not a weird little freak about said thighs. 

Jesus, why are they so thighs. 

Hunter leans forward, bracing his hands on the end of the weight bench. Tim pretends to be oblivious to the existence of the other’s pecs and that big broad grin he’s back to wearing. It’s not like he’s not used to seeing totally different people wearing that face, between Kon and Match and literal Superman, and also like . . . Superboy Prime, fuck that guy forever, but Hunter still manages to look just a little bit more different than that, somehow. 

Tim literally does not even understand his own brain sometimes. Or at all, maybe. 

“I just keep thinking about doing the climbing, is all,” Hunter says. Tim forces his incomprehensible excuse for a brain back on track. “Like, the specific climbing of a specific somebody, mostly, but still a lot of climbing in general. And also how to convince said somebody to teach me how to have sex, like, in a way that is not the high school-level sex ed course somebody uploaded into my brain. Though like, that’s also a thing I keep thinking about.” 

“That doesn’t sound like you’re a slut, that sounds like you have a crush on someone,” Tim says, a little perplexed. “Or, uh, a psychosexual obsession with. But let’s hope for ‘crush’.” 

“Oh,” Hunter says, looking pretty perplexed himself. “Huh.” 

“The part where you’re perving on Nightwing, Red Hood, and Batman might be a little much, though,” Tim says dryly, mostly to move the conversation along before Hunter says anything that–

“Well, yeah,” Hunter replies with a shrug, leaning forward a little heavier on his hands. “”Cuz they’ve all got that same Bat-vibe somebody’s got.” 

“. . . what,” Tim says. 

“I really did not think I was being subtle here, dude,” Hunter says, raising an eyebrow at him. “Like, at any point.” 

“I literally made you,” Tim says, staring at him in disbelief. 

“Yeah, do you wanna maybe try some daddy kink and see how that goes?” Hunter asks, cocking his head with a thoughtful expression. “I feel like maybe we could do something with that.” 

“Asdfghjk,” Tim says, and falls off the floor again. 

“Like, no pressure, just asking,” Hunter says with another shrug. 

Okay, Tim thinks. Maybe Hunter’s right, and he did kind of make him kind of a slut, one way or the other. Like–maybe. Possibly. 

And maybe Hunter is also right about him having done this to himself, considering.

[aquaaquila]

She was grounded, not banned from a ball. And if Ella is willing to do anything for those she loves as she states in "get your hands dirty", she would go to the ball regardless of the ban for Bridget's sake. There is a set up and there is a pay-off, it's just not as satisfying and you're looking at this point at stereotype of subverting expectations, where's satisfaction in that? Nothing new is happening because we are in the past. The very thing that is new is prank not happening and Bridget and Ella meeting two girls that soon will look like their daughters.

We're not supposed to witness the prank, we're supposed to prevent it long before it happens. We didn't came here to dance. And Chloe explains perfectly: without the book, the very prank that traumatised Brudget won't happen, so no point in wasting their time in the past anymore.

My bad, missed that part, got distracted + I already seen too many "Ella did it", so a force of habit. And Ella did hurt Bridget but once again, it was not the prank that was an issue. Bridget said herself "stupid I would forgive". Like seriously, no prank that ELLA would pull be anything serious as Ella would not hurt her best friend, and even if it do south, Ella would apologize profusely and Bridget would forgive as mistakes happen, even Bridget said she once mate gingerbread people that bite. So no, narratively it doesn't make sense since Ella is too close to bother doing harm to Bridget. The only way she hurt is by "abandoning" her which really can tie back to "must be home before midnight". Making a character act OOC to make plot work does not serve narrative. And mind you, Ella is kind, but not necessarily nice. There's a difference between the two and while Ella acts kindly towards Chloe in the past, she also does give her attitude due to Chloe's privilege, which isn't exactly "nice". So Chloe already has a reality check that morality isn't simple.

Honestly about no. ASTV still has clear lose threads whereas D4 achieved its initial goal. The point of the movie was to change the past and change the heart of Bridget. Consequences of such actions were not part of the narrative. If QoH remained unchanged, there would be zero payoff. If the future is however too different then there's also no real payoff. The movie ended with its objective, QoH remained sweet and that's what mattered to the plot.

Or maybe you expected something else?

It isn't. We didn't saw how Maleficent grew into a villain in the first film while arguing with her mother in spite of being told as such in Evil Like Me. We were never told how Mal figured out Hades is her dad. The characters have their lives outside of the movie and we as the fan base should have a chance to imagine what happens outside of the focus of the camera. Like seriously, we literally have Audrey singing in D3 "there's nothing to lose when you're lonely and friendless" and it's not as if we saw how exactly Audrey became friendless but saud motivation did reasonate with people because being alone can hurt a lot and Bridget was alone and bitter for 40 years. And said dance number also included VKs dancing along, in musicals you dance with anyone regardless who they are. Said number is introduction to the world through Bridget's rose-tinted glasses.

The movie was still released and for all we know that's all we have. As life sometimes is unfair and Disney likes to cancel nice things if they don't do right by the executives. The movie can be said is more complete because sequel just may not be guaranteed, so good the story at least has some resolution that Red achieved her goal of this movie.

Descendants: The Rise of Red is kind of a bizarre movie to talk about critically because, imo, it almost doesn't make sense to talk about it in the usual terms of good vs bad or enjoyable vs not enjoyable when the way more obvious tension is finished vs unfinished.

Because, more than any other movie I've ever seen, it does *not* read as a full movie. And I don't mean in a "this movie has a cliffhanger" kind of way. The Empire Strikes Back and Across the Spiderverse fit that description. They end on big dramatic cliffhangers that point to a resolution in the third installment.

But Rise of Red just sets all this stuff up and then...ends without concluding anything. It doesn't feel like the first movie in a trilogy (or duology). It feels like the first act of a two-act musical. It very specifically reminds me of the end of the first act of Into the Woods where all the main characters sing the song Ever After about how they all fixed their problems with magic and nothing bad will ever happen to them again and then the narrator ominously says "To be continued" before the curtain drops. But in Into the Woods you know there's a second act and this movie wasn't sold as the first act of a bigger story. Like sure, it has the, "You didn't think this was the end" tag at the end like all the other movies, but those movies were complete, self-contained stories even though they had sequels. This was NOT a full story. It's half of one story.

Like, if we're supposed to take this as a full story, there are so many bizarre choices:

Why did they make sure to mention that Cinderella and Charming fell in love at the ball at the top if it wasn't meant to set up Back to the Future style, "Oh no, I accidentally got my mom banned from the ball so she's not gonna fall in love with Dad and I won't be born" shenanigans?

Why did Maddox very pointedly have that bit about "you could lose your mom completely" if that was never going to come into play? Red never did anything to endanger Bridget or endanger her own birth so it doesn't make sense as a warning in that way.

Why was there all this focus on this Carrie on prom night moment for Bridget if we LITERALLY NEVER SAW CASTLECOMING? Why dance around this moment and talk about it all cloak and dagger with no specificity if they weren't building up to some big reveal that it wasn't as straightforward as it seemed? And like, they leaned in HARD with making Bridget the nicest, sweetest, cotton candy princess as a teen so I need WAY more than, "She got pranked by known bullies she's been enduring with a smile very handily up to this point" to buy that she went from that to "murderous dictator". And even if she did become murderous, I find it insanely hard to believe that she'd include her best and only friend on the list of people she wants to suffer unless there was a betrayal. I find it INSANE that there wasn't a falling out scene at any point in this movie with how thickly they were laying on the admiration and camaraderie.

(Note: And adult Cinderella def has guilty vibes re: the Queen at orientation. Which I know I'm not imagining because it's literally spelled out in the Jr Novelization!)

Before the time travel element of the movie started, I thought they were going for something like they go to the past and realize that Bridget was bullied not by the VKs but by the spoiled royals, and Ella ends up joining in the bullying once she gets with Charming, betraying Bridget and justifying her whole "Love Ain't It" philosophy. Or Ella ditching her at the last minute to be with Charming meaning she has to deal with the monster prank alone and it was the being alone rather than the prank itself that hurt her (though that is NOT a good enough reason to go all off with their heads on your subjects). The fact that, as far as we know right now, it literally was just a relatively mild and reversible prank that caused all of this is just, such flat storytelling, you know?

But! All of this makes way more sense if this is meant to be the first act of a single contained story. And I don't wanna be all "Pepe Silvia, secret good 4th episode of Sherlock" about this but I did see this picture:

Which seems to indicate that this was written as a Part One. Which, if so, idk why they wouldn't advertise it that way but whatever. The point is, if that's the case then it means that we're potentially in bad pacing territory rather than straight up bad storytelling territory. Because this isn't a bad place to be halfway through your story:

The heroes, warned that time travel is dangerous, have gone back in time to change the heart of a brutal tyrant before she can stage a coup. They seemingly succeed in their mission and when they come home, everything is great! But then, the side effects of time travel start to catch up with them. Chloe realizes that, in breaking the vase, she prevented her mother from going to the ball and falling in love with her dad (who was conspicuously absent from the final scene btw) which means she's starting to be forgotten and erased from the timeline. And Red realizes that though this new version of her mom is as sweet and kind as the teen she once met, she's a complete stranger to her (fulfilling the Hatter's warning that she could lose her mom completely). So they have to go back in time once more to make sure the Ella and Charming fall in love again, perhaps at the cost of whatever bad thing that happened to Bridget happening again and bringing back the original version of her future self. But, now with more context of how her mom became that way, Red can now talk to her mother and persuade her to give people another chance.

Boom, that gives us time to go back and hit everything we haven't yet hit. We can pay off the time travel tropes that were set up but not explored. We can go to Castlecoming which feels so obviously set up to be the centerpiece of this story (like, come on, Back to the Future literally does the school dance thing. This is Time Travel Storytelling 101). We can actually get info about what the prank was and why it affected Bridget so completely.

(Note: This is a side thing but it really strikes me as so crazy that Bridget would so SUCH a big 180 here. Like, I know the Queen of Hearts is a silly, goofy, campy villain, but she straight up murders people and there's no way to get around that if we're taking her out of the surreal story she comes from and putting her in a (comparatively) grounded story. If I wasn't doing a betrayal plot, I would make the twist that the spell that turned Bridget into a "monster" didn't just have a physical effect, it had a mental effect and it magically twisted her personality to be the way it is now. So they broke the physical half of the curse, but neglected the other half and it's been festering the whole time, turning her as evil as she was sweet. Because like, a simple physical transformation isn't that big of a deal to have such heavy security--Bridget made cupcakes with a transformative effect and that was totally fine. I'm not saying that that's what's gonna be the case. I just think it would be an explanation that makes sense for why she changed so crazy much that makes more sense than a simple prank or even a betrayal. Her mom wasn't even evil! How did she go from zero to murder without even an evil mom to push her onto the path? But I'm super digressing right now.)

(Note #2: OK, one last thing. The trap on the book presumably would have hit the VK's and trapped them in Merlin's office regardless of what Chloe and Red did, right? That's like, net zero influence on the timeline. I genuinely can't tell if that's a straight up plot hole or set up to be like, "Oh no. Actually when she said that she was turned into a monster in front of everyone it was meant in a less literal way." Like she was just made to look bad and that was the real thing that pushed her over the edge. Like idk. It really feels like the only thing they really did that would change the timeline was get Ella banned from the dance and presumably out of the way where she couldn't hurt Bridget. OK NOW I'm done.)

Anyway, my point is that this is not how I would have structured my movie and I think this was a super weird way to go into the second era of Descendants movies, but they can still tell a complete story if that's their plan. I'm genuinely really curious to see if this pans out to be a fairly competently told story that just happens to be split over two movies or a complete fumbling of the narrative bag because it could really be either at this point and it's fascinating to me.

[fluentisonus]

something something

[lbhslefttiddie]

im so fucking mad. why did i work so hard on this. there isnt even a single gay bitch in this image all i have is latticework and osmanthus studies

[starscelly]

uh huh………..

[seekingjamaharon]

I love the trope of Jim deciding to seduce Spock, but I also think a lot about an oblivious Jim who truly doesn't think Spock would ever be interested in him, but who's every action drives Spock closer and closer to an emotional meltdown

Spock suffering over the green shirt, the red tights, the dress uniform

Jim casually geeking out over some theory or scientific principle and Spock smitten over how smart he is

Spock abruptly having reports to analyze after Jim gets caramel sauce on his hands and sucks it off his fingers

Jim just being Jim: compassionate and brave and selfless and determined and kind, and he'll just smile at Spock and Spock knows it's a lost cause

[callie-flower]

"proship dni" this, "comship dni" that, "neutral dni" unfortunately the people you don't like are still human and deserve comfort. my fucking god shut the hell up you're just as annoying as they are and protest WAY too much about it. go unlearn your purity morality shit

[regularconvexheadcanons]

Headcanon 2

You know what? Daily Headcanons. I will probably forget some days, but as near to daily as I can.

At one point in early Season 6, one of Cub and Scar's money-making schemes was making bets and then faking the result they wanted. And one of these was that Santa was real. Scar would go up to Hermits and make bets on Santa being real. And, that Christmas, Cub dressed up in full Santa attire (he had his old skin with the long beard too which helped) and very obviously gave everyone presents.

Scar won the bet. But Cub realised, if he wanted to keep this illusion alive, he'd have to pretend to be Santa every single year. Scar, after getting over the hilarity of the situation, agreed to help him pretend to be Santa.

So now the Hermits think Santa's real and Cub and Scar sneak around giving Hermits presents from him every single Christmas.

Also, whenever there are new Hermits someone brings up Santa being real, and they don't believe it until they get a present from 'Santa' and are then incredible excited about it.

Bdubs: oh, watch out for Santa

Gem: Santa?!? Bdubs, you don't seriously believe in Santa do you?

(On Christmas morning)

Gem: OH MY GOSH I SAW SANTA I SWEAR IT WAS HIM HE GAVE ME A NEW SWORD-

[non-un-topo]

All it takes is a wee little nightmare to make you too scared to step foot outside for fear of Bad Things happening, like it’s an omen lol

[arom-antix]

Happy birthday to the man, the myth, the legend, trophy husband of Yuuri Katsuki, Viktor Nikiforov!

[mrehkka]

Zim's PAK regulates his temperature so he doesn't get very cold. .....Dib on the other hand is freezing and hates the snow

[hephaestuscrew]

I'm always emotional about the fact that, when Minkowski tries to justify her choice to send Eiffel back to Earth on the Sol in the finale, she never directly expresses a reason for her decision that's specific to him. 

She tells Hera, Lovelace and Jacobi "If - if - we don't make it through this... if we don't stop this... people need to know what's coming. They need to know what's happened." She gives them a reason which is logical, practical, and impersonal. It's a 'big picture' reason, focused on humanity as a whole. Minkowski's own emotions don't really enter into this justification at all. That's the kind of decision-making she wants her crew to think she's using. If this was Minkowski's main motivation, it wouldn't matter who was sent back, so long as they could explain Cutter and Pryce's plan. I don't think Hera, Lovelace, or Jacobi believe that this was the main reason why Minkowski sent Eiffel back, and I'm not sure whether Minkowski expected to actually convince them. 

Jacobi asks "did you tell him that before or after you sent him on his merry?" But in fact, Minkowski didn't tell Eiffel at any point that he needed to tell the world about events on the Hephaestus. If her primary motivation had been about having someone to deliver a message back to Earth, she would have given Eiffel suitable instructions - she wouldn't have just trusted him to figure it out. 

Instead, the most direct reason she gives to Eiffel himself for why she's sending him back to Earth is "I need to know that at least one of us makes it back. That I got someone through this." This is a more personal reason, where Minkowski's emotions are relevant, but it's still not explicitly about Eiffel himself. It's about saving "at least one of us", as if it doesn't matter who that "somebody" is. I think this justification is closer to the core of Minkowski's motivations than what she tells the others afterwards. Her responsibilities to her crew as a Commander have always been important to her, and she doesn't want to have failed in keeping them safe. And Eiffel is the only member of her original crew who she's able to save in this way. Hilbert is dead, and transferring Hera over to the Sol to be sent back to Earth on her own would come with a whole host of problems. 

But I don't believe for a moment that the reasons she sends Eiffel back are purely practical and abstract. I don't believe for a moment there's no personal significance to her decision to save him specifically. I don't believe for a moment that it was all about her practical plan for the wellbeing of humanity, or her desire to have fulfilled her duty to at least one non-specific member of her crew. She doesn't just need to save "someone". She doesn't just need to save "at least one of us". She needs to save Eiffel. She needs to save her friend.

The closest she gets to saying aloud that her motivation is about her care for Eiffel in particular is when she says "Go home, Eiffel. Hug your daughter. [...] Goodbye, Doug." She was prepared for those to be the last words she might ever say to him. And there's at least something in these lines that implies she wants Eiffel specifically to return to Earth. I don't think it's that she saves him because he has a daughter. I think when she tells him to go home and hug his daughter, it represents more than that. It's about how she wants him to be able to move forward and live his life. It's her saying that he deserves the interpersonal connections that are valuable to him. It's about her not wanting his story to end there on the Hephaestus. 

It kind of breaks my heart that even in that situation, she can't fully say aloud that the reason she wants Eiffel to survive is because she cares about him specifically. She has to give the justifications that are about her as a Commander and not about Eiffel as her friend. She doesn't tell him that she's saving him for his own sake, because he matters to her so deeply, because his safety is so important to her. 

And I really wish I could believe that Eiffel didn't need her to say it, that he could just understand just from her actions how much she cares about him. But as the Sol flies away from the Hephaestus, he tells himself that he's there because he "never had quite as much chest hair as Lieutenant Commander Renée [Minkowski]" and because he "could never get it right". So I don't think Eiffel ever really appreciates that Minkowski sends him back not because of what he can't do, but because of who he is: her friend, one of the most important people to her, someone who has brought so much value to her life, and someone whose death she refuses to contemplate.

[herd-reject-arts]

Pulled from videos I put on my Instagram, but they're better together.

Went to clean my car and found I had a stowaway. Little dude was hiding under my passenger seat and would have almost certainly gotten vacuumed up if it had not come out swinging (I think. I don't know mantid behavior too well, but it was jabbing with its foremost legs, so that seems like an attack to me).

I was able to get the mantis onto a Gatorade bottle and out of my way while I cleaned. I was hoping it would leave in the meantime so I didn't have to deal with a tiny animal who was probably just as confused as I was on how it got there. But nope! Dude stuck around and listened to the honky tonk music the car wash was playing, or at least it seemed to be listening based on how it was swaying (note: I'm joking. I'm pretty sure it didn't care about the music. I just kept making comments to it about dancing to the tunes).

In the end, it hopped off the bottle (only after I moved it to the trash can, though I wasn't going to throw it away if it hadn't jumped off) and I got a really cool video of a praying mantis jumping.

And the frame-by-frame of that jump, because why not.

[neoyi-backstreetback]

Oh, BDSM Slab, my beloved. 💖