#And im not even gonna be able to get a full time job after!!!!! EVER! I FUCKING CANT! So ill have studied TEN YEARS

[luvyeni]

COMPUTER FREAK 𝕼. ( 제이크 )

𝓲𝓲 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒𓈒 ( 제이크 x fem!reader )   ─── ❛ genre ⸝⸝ smut. content warning. loser!jake. reader is a coder but not much of coding is talked about. handjobs. unprotected sex. sub!jake. word count. 4.1k 「 req? ⦂ yes/no 」 library  !

synopsis … this couldn’t be happening right now; he had to be stuck in some fucked up nightmare. there’s no way his computer did this — not while he was doing that.

𝕼 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒 yeni’s note .ᐟ i don’t write sub often but when i do it’s like i go a bit crazy 😗… enjoy!

jake really had it all; he was smart, he passed every test he took. he was handsome, many girls would love to be with him; not like they had a chance though. he wasn’t interested in them. he was interested in you, the computer savvy girl who moved into the apartment he shared along with heeseung, jay sunghoon about a year ago.

but jake was terrible at talking to girls; especially you. he’s never been around a girl who’s both nerdy like him, but also fucking hot as you. when you first moved into the apartment he did his best to avoid you, knowing he’d never be able to hold a full conversation with you — but then he felt bad , because you were extremely nice to him , you even made him cookies to show your appreciation… you were even a good fucking baker, was their anything you couldn’t do.

“yn you have to put on some shorts.” jay said as you sat down. “i have shorts on.” you lifted up the shirt , they all averted their eyes. “be for real , you people are the last guys i’d ever flash.” you sat down. “i’ve smelt what that damn bathroom smells like after one of you's been in there.” you grimaced , pushing your glasses up on your face. “ you fixed the wifi?” heeseung asked. “you mean plug it back in? yes and if you call me at 12 in the morning to do it again im going wash my pink thong with all your white clothes.”

“he’d like that i think , he’d get to touch your panties.” sunghoon teased and you rolled your eyes. “no you know who would like it.” heeseung smirked pointing past you; which made you turn around. “good morning jake.” you smiled. “go-good morning yn.” he sat down. “go-good morning yn.” heeseung teased him , he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “now that the family is all together time for our morning meeting.” jay said. “you mean jays nagging time.” everyone laughed at your joke. “im gonna put you on the streets yn.”

“i pay my fair share of utilities; so no you can’t kick me out.” you smiled. “well then i’ll rent your room out , good luck with a new roommate.” you shrugged. “i’ll just share a room with jake, you don’t mind jake?” you turned to him. “hu-huh?” he stuttered. “we-well i mean.” he stressed to find the right words. “you say that now until you find a hard sock in the closet you’ll be sharing.” him and sunghoon snickered. “shut up.” the boy said softly from beside you. “heeseung you proudly show your fleshlight on the night stand?” you said. “it’s my room isn’t it.” your nose scrunched up in disgust. “you’re a pervert.”

“i am man yn , men do men things.” he shot back. “you’re hardly a man.” you stood up. “how about i follow you back to your room and show you how much of a man i am.” you pushed your glasses up , fake gagging. “i respect myself , no thank you.” you walked back to your room. “she knows she wants me.” the guys at the table shook their heads. “does she really?”

jake stood up , putting his cereal bowl in the sink. “i have to go to work,” he said. “do you have to work late today? i have a package being delivered and I need someone to be here and sign it.” sunghoon said. “yn doesn’t work today , she’ll be here.” sunghoon sighed. “she was here last time they came but she was too busy coding to pay attention.” he rolled his eyes. “she’s a coder , that’s her job.” heeseung said , he was another coder , just as passionate as you. “you can’t just pull away from it to open a door.”

“especially if just porn , i opened the box , that’s disgusting.” jake didn’t even entertain his friends , ready to leave. “she was trying make a code for a sims mod she wanted , it wasn’t that important and stop opening my damn mail.” jake spoke up. “i’ll be home.” and with that he was out the door.

his work day was exhausting; he just wanted to go home and sleep. he opened the door; kicked off his shoes at the front , stopping to get water from the fridge , before making his way to his room. “sunghoon is that you?” he heard your door open , sticking your head out. “oh hi jake.” you stepped out of your room , you were dressed in the same shorts from this morning— but instead of a long shirt , you have a cropped tank top on. he had to fight himself to not look at your boobs , but it was hard when they were so full and plump and he just wanted to lay his head on them , touch them… fuck them. “jake?” you waved your hands in front of his face. “h-huh?”

you chuckled; your boobs slightly bouncing. fuck , you didn’t have a bra on. “i asked how was work? did you eat?” he coughed awkwardly, his softened cock stirring in his pants. “o-oh yeah , i had some ramen.” he said. “you need to start eating more healthy , those ramens aren’t good for you.” you grabbed his shoulder. “if you want i can make you lunch to take , heeseung pays me to do it , but you don’t annoy me half as much , so it’s no need.” he nodded. “th-thank you.” he stuttered out , desperate to get to his room , not to sleep anymore , but for other reasons. “okay , it will be in the fridge with heeseungs in the morning.” you turned to go back into your room. “and if sunghoon comes , tell him the package did come and i got but im holding it hostage until he gives me the 100 bucks he owes me for hacking into his instagram account because his dumbass forgot his password.” he nodded and you closed your door.

he basically sprinted to his room; locking the door behind him. “fuck.” he cursed , his hard cock desperate to be touched. sitting down in his gaming chair , pulling up his screen on his pc , hand already palming his needy cock. “sh-shit.”

here’s where jake might be a pervert; he’s tried so hard to just go to twitter and watch the random porn there — but he just couldn’t , it had to be specific; he’s perfectly curated a playlist full of porn and pornstars… ones that look as close to you as they could , because in his eyes no one could look like you , but they could look similar to you. but not only that , they sounded like you too…

this started a few months ago; he stumbled across a video and he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the video; the pornstar looked like you. glasses , same build — and tits just as big as yours. not only that , she sorta sounded like you; but he knew it wasn’t you. she didn’t have same cute nose you had; and her voice was just a smidge deeper and of course no one else might’ve noticed , but he did. that was the first night he past out in his chair , covered in cum; his dick sore for the constant tugging of it. he came to that video more times than he liked to admit that night.

he then started a quest of finding videos just like it; saving them to his computer, all of them ranging from pov to cumshots; professional to amateur, hell he even had solo and couple porns , but they all had a common denominator — they resembled or sounded like you. he was yet to find one of titty fucking yet; but he was looking. “mmh , which one.” he groaned , clicking his favorite , cock now free from his underwear , slowly stroking it as he went through the playlist. “let’s do a real old one.” he clicked the video , sitting back in his chair.

the video is only 1 minute and nine seconds long; but it’s the perfect video — the closest he was ever to getting a direct look like of you; the glasses were identical , everything was… including the boobs. “oh fuck.” he began stroking his cock , just as the model began stroking the cock of her partner. it was a pov , his favorite. because then he could imagine it was him , and you were stroking his cock for real. “oh fuck that feels good.” he moaned.

he bit his lip to cover a moan; he couldn’t risk you hearing him or anybody in the house for that matter because then they’d never let him live it down. he began to speed up, the video replaying over and over as he hunched over in his chair , so close to a desperate relief. he watch the guy cum all over the girls glasses , which he dreamt of doing to you on numerous of occasions; your pretty smile as he covered you in ropes of cum. “fuck yn im gonna cum.” he moaned — then his computer stopped.

his hand immediately stopped; hissing as he ruined his own orgasm. “what the fuck?” he said , hitting the side of the screen; he knew it would do nothing but he still gave it a try. then he realized his worst nightmare has come true; his screen froze, with the porn still on it. this couldn’t be happening right now; he had to be stuck in some fucked up nightmare. there’s no way his computer did this — not while he was doing that.

he quickly unplugged the computer; waited for a bit — he was desperate; he even blew on the plug in hopes it worked. ”please.” he plugged it back in— and no , the screen was still the same, and on the worst part as well , right when he came on the girls face. he couldn’t believe his screen was stuck on this , what else he couldn’t believe is that he still wanted to finish.

he stuck his head out of his door; praying your door wasn’t open. he almost jumped for joy as saw that it wasn’t, he just had to make it to heeseungs room. he quietly knocked on the door , heeseung emerging right after. “what im on my way out.” he said. “no , wait come here.” jake said. “follow me to my room.” heeseung looked at his friend. “you’re good looking but i am a man who loves pussy.” jake rolled his eyes. “just come.” he pushed the door open. “make sure the door is closed.” he panicked. “what is it?”

“don’t laugh.” he started. “if you laugh i don’t know what i’ll do but it will be very drastic.” he said , heeseung grew tired. “come on, show me i have a hot hook up in about 30 minutes, something you’d know about if you did hide in here on your computer doing god knows what.” jake plugged the computer back in , the frozen screen popping back up into frame. “yo dude , what the fuck?” he exclaimed , jake covered his mouth. “don’t shout i don’t want her to hear.” he pointed to the door. “ew gross.” he pushed the boys hand away. “i clearly see what you do with those hands , never touch me again.”

“please help me.” he said. “it’s stuck and it won’t go away.” he whined. “get rid of it for me.” heeseung sighed walking over to the computer , bending down. “whoa , this looks like yn.” he said. “holy shit , if it wasn’t for the subtle differences i would think this was her…” heeseung trailed off. “is this why you’re watching this , because it looks like her?” heeseung smirked. “bro you’re a freak honestly.” he said turning back to the screen. “but respect.” he shrugged. “do you have any others.”

“is that important? can you get it off?” jake asked , already embarrassed. “no.” the boy stood straight. “this is out of my area of expertise,” he said. “heeseung please try.” the boy begged. “you know who might be able to figure this out.” no please don’t say her. “yn , she just helped jay unfreeze his computer too , his didn’t have porn that looked like her on it , but I’m sure this won’t freak her out that bad.”

he couldn’t possibly ask you; you’d probably stop talking to him. think he’s so weird, he thinks he’s weird. “you do school work on here so you’re gonna need her to do it , just pray she has a sense of humor.” he said walking out the door. “and if you get your computer working , send that to me.”

he dreaded doing this; how could he ask you this? he felt his heart in his ass as he knocked on the door. “yn?” he waited. “come in.” he heard your sweet voice , pushing the door open. “hi jake , what can i do for you?” you turned around in your pink chair , legs crossed in the seat. “um we-well i co-could use your help.” he said. “in what?” you chirped , god he was so sick , even in his time of desperation, he couple only think about sinking his cock in between your plush toys , and fucking them until he covered you in his cum. “it-its with my computer , it’s kinda hard to explained.” he said — and sure it was. “oh okay , let’s go take a look at it.”

you got up from your seat; walking past him and out the room. “it’s probably nothing i can’t fix.” you opened the door to his room. “it smells surprisingly okay in here.” you made your way over to the computer. “okay , now what’s wrong with it?” you said , searching. “oh wait it’s not even plugged in , let– wait not.” it was too late , you had already plugged it in; the dreaded screen popping up , you were face to face with what seemed like your doppelgänger — in such a compromising position. “um okay.” you said.

“yn im so sorry , it’s not what it looks like.” he said. “well what it looks like is me.” you said. “except my boobs are much nicer than those.” his eyes widened , did you really just say that? “she even has my glasses , are my glasses porn star glasses?” you were taking this extremely well. “yo-you’re not upset?” he said , you chuckled. “jake we live in a confined space and see each other every day, honestly i wouldn’t be concerned in the slightest if this wasn’t me but one of the guys.”

“can you fix it?” you laughed, he was confused. “did you ask heeseung?” he nodded. “wh-why are you asking?” you pressed the ctrl key , then the alt key and then finally the del key. “because it’s so simple to fix this.” you said clicking restart. “you didn’t need me , you just asked heeseung on the day he was being a dick.” he was even more embarrassed now. “there’s no need to be embarrassed jakey.” you sat down in his seat. “i told you im not upset about the video.” you said. “are there more?” you said his eyes widened. “i mean come on , this video is too accurate , hell i wouldn’t thought you edited my head on to it but that’s obvious you didn’t , so that means you had to go searching for this.” you said. “and this can’t be the only one jake , i know it.”

“show them to me.” you said. “yo-you want me to show you, for real?” you moved the chair back allowing him to move in front of the computer. “show me.” you watched him intently as he clicked on the keys; he could feel the burn from your stare as you watched him pull up the album with almost 100 photos and videos. “oh?” you scooted closer; so close that if even turned his head , he’d be staring directly down at your chest. “my god , why do i have so many pornstar look alikes?” you said. “so-some of them are the same.” he said. “ah i can see that.”

you scrolled through the videos; he watched you trembling, his cock twitching in his jeans , he never had a proper release. “oh is this the one you were watching when it froze.” you clicked on it. “wait yn.” you waited for the video to load. “he’s not the biggest.” you said , watching the model jerk him off. “y-yn.” he was so fucking hard right now he felt like he was gonna cum in his pants. “this video is too forced.” you paused it. “he’s barely even moaning.” you said , you were now turning facing him. “how do you sound?”

was this happening right now? were you seriously asking this? “u-um.” his hand went to his cock , to cover it. “don’t cover it.” you moved his hands. “im assuming you didn’t get to finish?” he nodded ; still thinking he was joking , until he felt your hand on his clothes dick. “y-yn.” he whimpered , you pouted. “oh poor you , you’re throbbing.” you stroked him through his pants. “you like my boobs jakey?”

he nodded and you stopped moving, he let out a whine. “oh don’t be so upset.” you took your tank top off , your boobs bouncing from the impact. “come on , i want you to cum just like he did.” you picked his cock back up; kissing his tip, looking up at him — this was his dream , to have you like this; stroking his cock. “you wanna cum jakey don’t you?” he whimpered , nodding. “ye-yes , please let me cum.” you cupped his balls which made him moan loudly. “fuck im gonna cum.” you were getting turned on from hearing him moan. “cum for me.” and he couldn’t help it , that set him off. “im cumming!” he shouted , as cum spurted from his tip on to your face, hitting your glasses. “fuck.” you kept stroking him , his legs twitching. “i can’t , i came , i came stop.” he whimpered. “please stop.” you finally gave him a rest , releasing his cock. “so cute.” you brought your fingers to your lips. “you’re so sensitive , you came so much and i barely did anything.”

you stood up , switching places with him. “i-i can go again , i just need a minute.” he huffed , you smiled. “yeah?” you straddled his lap. “is watching another one of these gonna help , or do you want me to help you get hard again?” you kissed the back of his ear. “i can help you.” your hand came to his , bringing it to your boobs. “do they feel nice?” he nodded. “i’ve seen you staring at them before.” you said , moaning as he began to knead it. “fuck that feels so good.” you grinded against him. “they're so sore , you’re making me feel so good.” your fingers tangling up in his hair. “su-such a good boy.” and just like that he was hard again. “oh i see you liked that?” you chuckled. “ca-can i put it in now?” he didn’t want to cum just from you sitting on it. “i don’t know , you really haven’t been a good boy.” he whimpered.

“i-i have.” he said , his hair sticking to your forehead. “really?” you moved again. “good boys don’t jerk off to their roommate without permission do they?” you said , he shook his head. “that’s right , only perverts do.” he was about to blow his load. “y-yn pl-please let me put it in , wa-wanna feel you.” he begged , you loved it , he was so willing to do anything to cum. “i don’t really think you deserve it , i think you don’t deserve to cum for the rest of the week.” you began to stand up.

no , he couldn’t go that long he was sure , he jerked off almost everyday, he knew this would kill him. “please let me put it in , please i’ll be a good boy i promise.” he said. “i wont cum with out your permission ever again. , please , i’ll do whatev– oh fuck!” he gasped as you sunk down on him. “oh fuck , fuck fuck!” he moaned as he felt the warmth of your cunt. “jakey you’re so big.” you began to move , his head was thrown back , eyes crossed almost as you rode him. “that’s it jakey , you like it?” he nodded. “so-so much , please go faster.”

you grabbed his cheeks forcing him to look at you. “you wanna kiss?” he nodded. “please.” you kissed his lips , bouncing on his cock. he was in heaving right now , if he could feel this for the rest of his life — or at least for the next two minutes, then he could die a happy man. “y-yn im gonna cum again.” he said , looking up at you with wide , tear filled eyes. “can i cum? please can i cum?” he moaned , you kissed his forehead , tugging at the nape of his neck. “good boy for asking , you can cum.”

his hips involuntarily shook as he bucked up into you cumming hard. “fuck.” he wrapped his arms around your waist , as he pumped what felt like the largest load he ever gave. “jakey.” you moaned , he slightly bit down on your shoulder. “can i keep going?” he nodded , he was willing to push forward even though his cock was sore. “ye-yes you can.” you began to speed up. “oh fuck , jakey yes!” you squealed , the boy below you moaning loudly as he felt overwhelmed by your cunt. “fuck im gonna cum.” you moaned , he brought his lips to your nipples , sucking harshly on them. “ah yes!” you tugged his hair. “im cumming.”

he felt you cumming , and he thought he was gonna get hard again. “did you cum?” you nodded. “it felt so good.” you praised , scratching his neck gently. “you’re such a good boy jakey , such a good boy.”

he woke up later from his nap later that night ; tired and hungry, you had really did a number on him. he stumbled his way to the kitchen opening the fridge. “fun evening?” heeseung stood in the hallway. “fuck off , you set me up.” he took the cookie off the plate. “I’m starving.” he said. “im sure , you want some ramen?” he nodded. “and i didn’t set you up , i knew she wouldn’t mind it?”

“how do know?” he said. “because she’s fucking obsessed with you bro.” heeseung said. “he’s right.” they both turned to where you were standing in his shirt. “you’re just haven’t been paying attention.” you said , sitting in his lap, his eyes widened. “too busy watching porn that looks like her.” heeseung waited for the water to boil. “but that’s okay , that means you can make it up to me right?” you smirked feeling him get hard again. “ye-yeah.” you stood up. “good boy.” you made your way back to his room. “oh that was gross.” heeseung gagged , but jake didn’t care. “just leave the ramen out on the stove.” he followed behind you. “please keep it down I have homework.”

“there you are.” you waited on his bed. “come here.” you moved your pointer finger; he moved towards you. “good boy.” he crawled on to the bed , your legs spreading for him to sit in the middle. “what do you want?” you asked. “to-to taste you , i really want to taste you.” he could almost taste it on his tongue. “go a head.” you pushed his head down , where you were already bare and ready for him. “you know what to do.” you moaned feeling him lick your clit. “oh fuck.”

“such a good boy.”

©️LUVYENI

[cripplecryptid]

I am absolutely losing it. LOSING it

[opal-owl-flight]

Quick lore question, did marie considering the idea of replacing 4 play into the insecurities she has later?

Absolutely.

I wanna preface this by saying one thing: Young 4 was a COMPLETELY different person before she got recruited by Marie. And Marie...responds to her accordingly.

Long read abt Hero2 events below!! Its. A lil messy sorry qisjke these are my notes

Young 4? A bitch.

Everything she ever wanted was given to her. Moved out of the highlands with an ego the size of a planet (and also bc she felt suffocated there), thinking she can make it in the big city.

...she struggled to make it alone. She had moved out bc her family was suffocating her with love, but now theyre not here, so now she feels homesick and underappreciated.

All that is expressed by her harsh, bitchy attitude. Shes gonna be mean bc no one has seen her for who she is. She'll show them!!

She finds her way around like this, and discovers that shes just as good at turf war here and at home. In fact, shes *so* good that she got the status of a rising star!

It aaalll just gets into her head. Shes "proven everyone wrong" now. Shes got the superiority complex and can back it up.

Marie...

...saw this. She was looking for a new agent to help find the missing zapfish. The second 4 heard this from her, she flexed her arms and...

"Look no further, your hero is RIGHT HERE!"

Marie at first adored the spunkiness of this new agent. Uuuntil 4 started thinking that shes better than her.

"Watch out, Agent Four!"

"You watch YOURSELF, grandma! Think Im a damn idiot to not see that coming? WAHA!"

Marie rolled up her sleeves after several stages full of her ignoring orders or sassing her out of nowhere.

Is that how shes gonna be? Fine.

When 4 finally trips and falls, hard, on a particularly difficult level, Marie pulls her to the side to fix her up and give her a lecture that tore her fucking ego to shreds.

She says something so fucking harsh like "That attitude will make SURE that you die sad and alone. I wonder how anyone puts up with you."

4s too hurt by her own failure to say anything back.

The reality of war finally gives her a reality check. Each victory is earned. its her life on the line. And the world.

She regains her spunk after saving the world.

------

Silly 4. She gets the job done but it takes a LOT of pushing in the mid-stages. Its like she got legitimately bored after the initial super easy ones, and thought the entire campaign a joke.

She went back to her turfing life topside between stages. And she takes a WHILE to come back to her missions -- usually late!! And then before she even goes in she just HAS to yak Marie's face off with what she was doing up there.

"Youre late."

"You shouldve SEEN ME, Marie!! I was carrying that Rainmaker round! I was-"

"Pray tell, Agent Four. How will you keep participating in turf with the Zapfish gone?"

"Whaat? Cmon. Nothing seems to be changing! Theres still power through the city!"

"The backup supply wont last forever, you know."

"Yeah yeah. Okay. Im here now. Wheres the next kettle?"

This attitude is from her high school days, clearly. She breezes by everything so fast that she can afford to do things last minute. It affects even this.

That, alongside her talking smack back to Marie, is what makes her snap at 4. Its what makes 4 stick to the mission fully starting late area 4 and area 5. (This is also around the time 4s life was threatened. God help me in those stupid platforming stages)

Post Hero2, 4 more or less does what 3 does. Shes the "replacement" til 3 comes back. (That cant be good for her confidence.)

At the same time, she has to deal with Callie and Marie talking out what the fuck Callie did with Octaria. "THEY SQUIDNAPPED GRAMPS!!!" and all. Why help them??? They get into squabbles where 4 was the unfortunate witness to. And peacemaker. It does NOT help that Callie for a while kept putting the glasses back on!!!

4 wishes so bad she had help of any sort. She feels 3 might be able to do something but what does she know?? Shes never met em!! She just imagines what the missing agent would do in that situation.

Callie...was also the person she got close to. Shes fun (unlike the stuck up Marie), shes empathic, she opened 4s eyes to the Octarian plight. It made her acceptance of 8 later much smoother.

Im not saying shes not close to Marie either, I bet they healed their relationship around this year too. Marie's sorry she tore 4s ego the way she did (even if deserved...). Marie's much more supportive of what 4s doing topside. Shes expressing her pride in the agent she found much more openly. (She brags abt her to Callie at times.)

The three of them heal together in that time. 4 sees them as older sisters Im p sure. Theyre both giving her tips for turfing and -- Marie even helps her with homework, HAH

And...while I say that 4 and Marie are in better terms, there are still days where Marie blows up on her. Lesser extent than before, but shes *worried* for her agent! (Its a similar plight 3 has.) In those times, its Callie who has her back. ("Hey! Its not like shes not trying!!" Callie understands how it is, and she also knows Marie best -- shes the one who makes 4 understand where Marie is coming from.)

[itsjustaninchident]

Hi love! Can I request a social media au with our lovely Chili with his gf who loves cooking and spicy food? Thank you so much and love your account xo

You're in the Kitchen Humming🍝

Carlos Sainz x Chef!Reader

smau♡

summary: yn loves cooking as much as she loves Carlos, a snippet of their relationship full of food because a way to man's heart is through his stomach😉

warning/s: none

author's note: sorry for taking this long to take your request >< Life just got me busy. Anyway, I hope you like this and have a good day! Lovelots♡

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, and 109,234 others.

yourusername another day, another recipe.

view 6,789 comments...

carlossainz55 can't wait to be home.

yourusername hurry up then :P user1 HELP THIS IS SO CUTE user2 IM SO SINGLE user3 brb while i lay down the road and wait for a car to run me down

landonorris you better save up some for me

carlossainz55 are you sure, last time you ate some you look like you're gonna explode because of the spice

landonorris tbf it was very spicy but still good

yourusername awww thank you lan!

charlesleclerc can I have some too?

carlossainz55 not you too

user4 yn is so wifey material😭 i want her

liked by carlossainz55 and 145 others

carlossainz55

liked by yourusername, charlesleclerc, and 456,342 others

carlossainz55 date night with my mi amor❤️

view 23,876 others...

user1 who cooked? 🤔

yourusername he did! he's getting tired of the chilis i put into every dinner😭

carlossainz55 i love your cooking but you know I can't take much spice y'know

yourusername very ironic for your nickname🤣

user2 will you marry me instead yn? I love spicy food i would eat it all day and all night😄

carlossainz55 no

user3 a love like this? 😭

user4 they're so domestic it physically hurt my heart

user5 don't ever break up pls😭

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, lilymhe, and 678,920 others

yourusername rest day so mr. chili right here took matter with his own hands🥰

view 39,576 comments...

carlossainz55 i love cooking for you, means I get free back hugs

yourusername i love your cooking as well maybe we can switch jobs? I drive, you cook?

carlossainz55 deal 🤝 you're not a bad driver yourself😉

yourusername i've got the best teacher😜

user1 this love is so pure🥺

user2 im so😭

user3 ME N WHO?!

user4 might as well go cliff diving without a harness

landonorris so when will i get an invite to one of your dinners ?

carlossainz55 when you're no longer annoying

landonorris you're so mean

yourusername you're welcome anytime lando!

landonorris this is why i consider yn my friend more than you, carlos

carlossainz55 blah blah blah

user5 they're like kids😭😭😭

user6 now i wanna taste yn's cooking too😭

user7 this is what i think of when I listen to sweet nothing by taylor swift

user8 true

user9 taylor told me she wrote it about them

carlossainz55

liked by yourusername, charlesleclerc, and 1,284,029 others

carlossainz55 cooking show off, guess who won?

view 23,738 comments...

charlesleclerc i love u mate but yn definitely won

carlossainz55 i will remember this betrayal

yourusername for that, i will send u some pasta

charlesleclerc 🤩🤩🤩

carlossainz55 so this is how it goes huh

yourusername sorry love, but even your parents said my cooking was better 😜

carlossainz55 okay, masterchef winner

yourusername ig you can get an extra serving of the pesto pasta?

carlossainz55 i will forget everything that has happened in this comment section😄

user1 IM SORRY WHAT? MASTERCHEF WINNER?????

user2 yep!!!😭

user3 OKAY I GET THE HYPE NOW WHY HER COOKING IS LITERALLY SOUGHT OUT AFTER BY THESE VROOM VROOM MEN

user4 the fact that carlos was able to bag her,,, imagine your normal dinner tastes like it's always from a three star michelin restaurant

carlossainz55 can confirm, i would even give it a 5 star if that's a thing💁

liked by yourusername and 2,395 others

user4 NOT CARLOS REPLYING #)"($($('!$

user5 when do i get my own yn????😭 I can't keep eating mac n cheese

carlossainz55

liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, and 1,482,093 others

carlossainz55 happy birthday, my love. I will love your cooking until I could no longer taste anything. I love you, yn❤️

view 23,047 comments...

user1 HAPPY YN DAY!

user2 HAPPY BIRTHDAY OUR QUEEN

user3 will there be a dinner? Are we invited?

landonorris guess I'll taste yn's cooking💁

yourusername sorry to break your heart lan, carlos didn't let me cook ;(

carlossainz55 well it's your birthday???

landonorris 💔 I should've went when it was his birthday

carlossainz55 the dishes were all for me

yourusername maybe a gathering will do? 😄

landonorris count me in!

charlesleclerc me too!

pierregasly me three

alex_albon me (and lily) four!

georgerussell63 me five!

user4 not yn unintentionally inviting the whole paddock

redbullracing maybe we'll get you as the chef for the catering?

yourusername name your price 🤣

redbullracing anything for the food!

ferrari not so fast

carlossainz55 this is like the worst betrayal ever

user5 redbull will lay down everything for their catering

yourusername thank you, mi amor! I love you too even if you kinda hate spicy food...

carlossainz55 y'know what happens when i eat a lot of it :(

yourusername im just kidding you big baby !

user6 so happy for mother😭😭😭😭

lilymhe happy birthday yn!

yourusername thank you love!❣️

user7 oh to be loved by yn 😭

liked by carlossainz55 and 54,786 others

[melled42]

Hello! First off I just wanted to say that I LOVE AND ADORE your art so much. Something about it just makes me want to adore every detail and I see the passion in every art piece you make! Keep up the good work!

Also, I wanted to ask out of my curiosity. What brought you to create Ewen? Was there any inspiration behind them? Any reason?

Also, have you ever drawn Ewen as a human? What would they look like? (Bonus for the human version of your Narinder lol)

How long have you been drawing?

Take your time! And thank you, your art inspires me to keep drawing with my own passion for art. ❤️

thank you, i try my best

Ewen started as just my take on my first playthrough and the drive to play with the narilamb dynamic.

They started not very different than an old Fallout oc I had if I think about it, but quickly grew into their own thing. I've also accidently put WAY too much of myself in them, oops. design was mostly inspired by my interest in vintage cartoons. I even made a design for the lamb as a parody of red hot riding hood around 2 years before I ever did anything with ewen as a character. Fun fact, the bleeding ring on their neck, the thing the entire au is now named after lol, was a last minute change. like about to post and then did the edit, last minute.

I have not done a human version of anyone, but I always thought Ewen would be black with dyed white hair. Probably dresses all the latest kawaii, barely steam legal cosplay outfits, speaks in a lot of baby talk at a fake anime like pitch, and is a twitch thot. And they would make sock puppet accounts to scam and call out others they don't like and is always on some drama alert channel. Narinder is a bald serious debate bro hosting those drama alert channels

I've been drawing forever. I started when I could hold a crayon and never stopped. I've been posting online since i was in grade school, probably pushing 20 years? (i'm old) but only got a patreon and started commissions when my boyfriend, now husband, insisted on it. I've been able to do it full time without side jobs for maybe 3 years now? If I ever get big enough to pay for us both by myself Im gonna make him my little house husband/art minion

please keep drawing and creating. Doesn't matter if you make money, doesn't matter if you get likes, doesn't matter if you think its good. Making things is good for you, have fun

[eloqiu]

top 11 hardest bsd abilities to discover (not listed in order)

(might contain some spoilers)

Dazai (No Longer Human). To begin with, my man had to find someone with a ability. (Probably like, 1/1,000,000 people) And then touch them, if Dazai was a normal guy, and not the demon prodigy, he 100% wouldn't have known he had this ability

Yosano (Thou Shalt Not Die). How'd she even discover this? There's very few scenarios where someone would be half dead, and I doubt that any normal person would be able to discover that they had a ability like this. There's still a chance, but it's very small.

Fitzgerald (The Great Fitzgerald). Imagine, you're a middle class man, normal life, normal income, nothing crazy about your life. How the hell do you find out you become stronger when you spend money. We've seen Fitzgerald not activate his ability when he causally spends, how the hell did you activate it then???

Muishitaro (The Perfect Crime). I- How does a normal person, commit enough crimes to find out that, no they're not getting away with these crimes because they're lucky, they're actually using a ability that erases their crime.

Ace (Madness of the Jewel Kings). Could just be a me thing but, I don't think I've ever met someone with debt slaves. Much less anyone who can convert their debt slaves lifespan into jewels. You either gotta be insane, or have plot armor to find out about this ability

Mark Twain (Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer). You have to be fucking enlisted to find out you have this ability, because there's no way a normal person's gonna have a sniper with them (unless you're in the United States.... Wait-)

Fukuzawa (All Men are Created Equal). This is the same logic as Dazai, there's probably not that many ability users, as you'd have to collect enough ability users to realize "oh, my subordinates get full control over their abilities", also what qualifies as the agencies entrance exam? Is it even necessary?

Pushkin (A Feast in Time of Plague). How the hell do you manage to "coincidentally" find out that you have an ability that affects 2 people with a virus, and that if one of those 2 people don't die, both the people will die from having their organs eaten. You have to be insane or a serial killer to find that ability.

Yukito (Another). I'm genuinely curious on how many mysteries this guy had to solve to be able to find out that the killer in the mysteries always, 100%, without fail, dies after the mysterys been solved. That is extremely and annoyingly specific.

Kajii (Lemon). The whole ass reason I made this post, who the fuck is "conveniently" creating lemon shaped bombs, there's no way he found out this ability through normal means. Was one of his friends a terrorist with a lemon kink? Because that's the only reasonable explanation that he's finding out this ability. Either that or, he's got a big food kink and makes bombs shaped as food during his spare time. There's no fucking way, a normal guy with an office job is finding out they have an ability like that. Atsushi's the main character? Nah, this man has way more plot armor. Because the stars, universe, solar system, and plantes had to align for him to find out about his ability

Ranpo (✨Ultra Deduction✨) please help im being threatened . I mean, he could always be a genius or whatever but... Sure.

[moonchats]

We all care, Spence - Spencer Reid

Summary: The BAU forgot his birthday (how the fuck is that canon by the way?) and you make it better because of course you do

Pairing: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader

Spencer cared, of course he cared, he wouldn't be able to do his job if he didn't care. But there was a voice inside his head that made him wish he didn't care, well more that wished he didn't care that no one cared for him.

He came into the BAU, dreading no one would make a big deal out of today. He knew Penelope would probably do something for the big day, he just hoped it didn't mean big bashes and banners.

But nothing. Zilch. Absolute radio silence.

No one wished him a happy birthday, there was no cheeky remark from Derek about how he's 'getting old' and 'he's gonna be needing help pissing soon', no tight squeeze from Penelope, no well wish from Emily, not even a smile from JJ and Rossi.

Hotch didn't even leave his office that day.

It got to him, a lot, obviously it would get to anyone but he felt like pure shit until you rang.

You had been away for a meeting, working at the BAU means you practically spend every day with Spencer but obviously the one day you couldn't make it was the day of his birthday.

He picked up the phone instantly, "Hey,you," Your voice instantly making him happier by the second. "Happy Birthday, lover"

"Thank you," He chuckled lightly, "I missed you this morning"

Guilt-ridden, you respond with "I know im sorry, i miss you more, I'm hoping the team is making up for the lack of celebration I'm doing!"

Spencers heart rate quickened, "Yeah they are, I'm waiting till we get a case so hopefully I'm not the point of focus anymore"

Spencer carried on lying until you both hang up. He felt even worse after the call, the first time in his life Spencer felt worse speaking after to you.

You were in the car when Penelope rang, asking about your ETA, when you mentioned a thank you for the cupcakes.

"What cupcakes?" She questioned you, genuine confusion in her tone.

"The ones for Spencer?"

"I didn't give Spencer cupcakes? Did he want cupcakes, I'll get him some if he wants them! It's no problem"

"No- No it's fine don't worry, I just got mixed up"

"Oh," Disappointment both filled you and Penelope.

Spence lied to you, but they had all forgotten his birthday.

You had entered the BAU with a bag full of presents, eyes on you as you entered the building. Heading straight for Spencer's desk placing the bag in front of him, kissing his forehead ever so lightly, "Happy Birthday"

His eyes filled with tears, "Thank you, I'm sorry I knew you'd be disappointed if I told you the truth"

"Woah loverboy, getting lucky tonight?" Derek smirked from the opposite desk.

"You only turn thirty once?" You shrug.

Emily immediately lifted her head off the evergrowing pile of files she was working on, "We missed your birthday? Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't think it was that important"

"CAKE! I BROUGHT CAKE!" Penelope comes screaming in from her office. "Spencer Reid you rubbed out your birthday off my calendar?"

JJ, and Hotch both came out of the commotion, Rossi came out at the sound of cake, "You guys, you don't have to do this" Spencer stated, sitting upright as he saw the big 30-candle lit dripping onto the icing.

Your eyes glistened"Yes we did, we all care, Spence, we will always care"

[flutter2deceive]

Bitching about financials and job things under the cut

My company announced like 2 months ago that our jobs are being eliminated, but it's like this nebulous thing because they're outsourcing and we need to transfer all our products, so my end date isn't until 3/31/2026. Like that's so far in the future and I'm gonna get severence (at end date, i will have worked there for 20 years literally over half my life) + a retention bonus, so I'll be ok for a little while after the fact i think i hope

But anyway i decided to immediately start cost-cutting 2 months ago:

•canceled subscriptions (canceled hulu, paramount+ (i have a plex server hookup anyway), canceled ubereats (and also stopped ordering from them altogether), canceled or went down a level on my minimal patreon subs)

•signed up for Shell's rewards system (it's literally free and you save at least 20cents/gallon every single time and sometimes more without having to spend any money you just click a button and boom extra 10cents if you fill up on a specific day.)

•haven't done *any* fun online shopping or regular store shopping for that matter

•severely cut down my fast food spending (i'm sorry taco bell ily), and as my friends are in similar financial woes, we've stopped ordering food every weekend and opted to make cheap dinners where we each bring some small component like 1 brings pasta 1 brings sauce 1 brings garlic bread

•this isn't a recent change, but i never go out anywhere for like drinks or to see local comedy shows like i used to frequently do. I'm a homebody who goes into the office twice a week and goes to my best friend's house on saturdays and just sits at home the rest of the time

Even with all that!! My debit card is at $26, my 1 credit card is $3 away from its limit, the other is $21 from its limit. I *thankfully* get my paycheck at midnight, but like... woof!

Last paycheck i was down to less than $100 the day before as well. It's so mind-boggling to me that it's this bad. Partially because I've had some unfortunately-timed plumbing issues and had to pay a pricey deductible (but glad i have the insurance obv cuz of how much the total cost would've been otherwise.) But also partially cuz i feel like shit is so much more fucking expensive than it's ever been!! And the last gallon of milk i bought and properly refrigerated went sour like a full week before its expiration date.

I have a decent job and make pretty good money (for now at least.) I have made several cost-cutting measures recently. I feel like I don't *do* anything. And it literally doesn't matter!!

My best friend who has an equally comfortable job told me he had about the same amount of $ as me to last him til his next paycheck too.

And on top of the financial stress, i am so fucking stressed at work because no one knows what they're doing and i keep getting roped into things at the last minute with an IM that says "hey got time for a quick call?" And then i end up having to put together a complicated spreadsheet that is needed by end of week. Why didn't you fucking ask sooner than 2pm on a thursday?! Oh cuz someone who will still have a job at the end of this didn't do what they were supposed to? Ok sure I'll get right on that. And I do. I do get right on that and have it back to you within a couple hours. Because i stupidly care about my job.

Ugghhh i hate everything atm... Except i was able to livestream my favorite singer Terri Clark's debut concert at The Ryman tonight. And i have a ton of Fran/CC fanfics queued up to read. And the Ghosts discord is constantly coming up with the cutest scenarios for H$, my current otp. And i am off the entire next week because next Friday is my birthday. And my dog is snoring.

So i guess it hasn't been such a bad day after all, Charlie Brown... or some such sentimental nonsense 🙃🙃🙃

[terriluvss]

The treatment of Lucy’s character really disappoints me.

Every Arc, Lucy is always forced into the role of beaten down, damsel or never given the spotlight to really shine. The only time we ever see her at full potential is tartaros arc and alvarez arc (in the main series i havent read 100yq so im not gonna be talking about it here). However even in tartaros there was bs moves made against her to stop her from fighting.

Like up against jackal, how she chased after him to battle him yet we never got Lucy vs Jackal. Why? Because mashima pulled this bs move of restricting lucy yet again. Holding her back by causing Jackal to hold two people hostage. We NEVER see Natsu put in the same situations as her, its ALWAYS Lucy.

Or with the pheonix priestess movie where I not ONCE saw Lucy fight. She’s always running away, she can’t even catch the gees guy because he magically slips into this random crack in an alleyway because pLoT. I just wanna see her be able to win, like that whole movie I don’t remember a single time she was actually given a moment to just ACTUALLY contribute to the action.

Same with the grand magic games, where she was about to perform urano metria and win (as she should) yet mashima did the same thing of pulling a bs cheapshot with some lamo canceling her spell out of nowhere. It just makes no sense. And we NEVER see this happen to any other characters. We don’t see Natsu’s flames get abolished trying to fight sting and rogue, we don’t see Gray’s ice suddenly melting when he tries to fight, we don’t see wendy having her wind suddenly not work.

It’s ALWAYS Lucy. The shows official punching bag. Fanservice? Just throw Lucy in front of the camera. Characters need a reason to fight? Just have Lucy get beaten up. Need a villian to have a motive? Just have Lucy get kidnapped or her keys stolen. Like literally when do any of the other characters get inconvenienced? I can only think of one time the other characters get the Lucy treatment of being kidnapped and it’s tartaros arc (my fave arc as a lucy stan) but pretty much it’s always only Lucy getting inconvenienced.

AND SIDE NOTE Aquarius just randomly deciding to dip during the tournament MID FIGHT (the water tournament in GMG). I know this is in character for her, BUT LIKE this was just mashima’s excuse to be able to torture Lucy yet again. I mean come on, I get it’s for comedy and all but I’m tired of Lucy being the butt of the joke. Why can’t we just have a moment for her to actually be able to win. And I’m pretty sure Aquarius actually tries to do her job so why would she just dip during the middle of it? I don’t know it just irks me how mashima always finds a way to disarm Lucy (even having villians take her keys too.)

Even in the FIRST EPISODE her keys get tossed aside for plot reasoons! So natsu can come and save the day11!2? It would’ve been so cool if Lucy could’ve fought alongside him and he recognised her as someone with potential to join fairytail. Rather than just having her stand idly by. And in mt hakobe how natsu just magically kicks taurus away whilst Lucy was trying to fight, because we cant have lucy being a character whos actually taken seriously now can we? Nope! She just always has to be the butt of the joke. And in Galuna, where that pink haired girl magically had lucys spirits work against her for just so we can have the obligatory lucy torture yet again. In the lullaby arc what does lucy even do i dont even remember? It’s happy whos the one who suggests for her to use virgo, might as well just give happy the keys at this point. Maybe mashima would actually let them be used for once if happy had them

It’s the same garbage every arc, and it sucks because I love Lucy her magic has such potential to be a powerhouse. We’ve seen her really flourish but the only time she ever gets the chance to flourish is when Mashima realises he’s written himself into a corner and actually HAS to use Lucy’s character. The only times are when he realises no one else can come save her so he actually has to try to use her magic narratively. Like in tartaros (my fave lucy moment) where she FINALLY gets to have her own moment to shine. And against brandish because Natsu is dying of dragon seed cancer!?1?2 oh noes! Looks like Lucy actually has to fight! (W fight by the way one of my fave lucy moments, I was so giddy when I saw her fighting like that for the first time.)

But yeah, I guess I’m just salty that Lucy is constantly thrown aside in favor of Natsu or Erza or sometimes Gray. Lucy deserved better. Sorry for this rant being all over the place, it just saddens me to see Lucy being treated like a joke the entire series. We were robbed.

[the-kipsabian]

so heres the gist of it

im unemployed

that should be the end of it lmao. unfortunately its not

on top of that, i live in one of the cheapest single bedroom apartments in the entire city. and yet according to new rulings that started this spring, im paying 12 euros too much for rent to be considered for the full amount of financial help that i should be able to get to help pay for it, which delays my paperwork every single time i apply for this benefit (thats high key crucial for my survival as, again, im unemployed as fuck) and they keep insisting i need to look for a cheaper apartment (which is impossible, there literally isnt any in this whole city and if there is, they are so sought after at this point people nab them immediately so...) or i might lose most of those benefits in the future. so thats fun

but i cant move cause i cant afford a more expensive place cause 1. im still unemployed as fuck and 2. they wouldnt approve of my paperwork cause even higher rent would be against their rules and the cost limit they are enforcing so...

ive been trying to get a job for a well over a year and a half now. nobody is hiring even tho a lot of people are looking. it always comes down to either being in a location i cant get to (cause its too far and i dont have a car or the hours are so inconsistent i cant make it without a car, usually) or just not being good enough with my skillset or whatever the fuck. it always goes to someone else and its been like that for months now so.. yeah, im kinda stuck with that too

HOWEVER the city has decided to add another fucking wrench into my entire situation since remember, im 1. unemployed as fuck, 2. i dont own a car, or even have a license for that matter, to move around everywhere, and 3. the government is actively trying to get me to move into a cheaper apartment that simply does not exist in this city ffs or they might cut my benefits or at least delay all my payments with taking ages with the added paperwork cause of that :)

so now? they have completely destroyed the bus schedules to my part of the city. nothing moves in or out of here past half six on the evening on weekdays anymore. even worse, on weekends nothing goes past two in the afternoon. which is.. ridiculous. that means that if you work evening shifts, tough shit youre not getting home unless you bike or walk (which isnt exactly a valid option with winter coming soon and lasting for like 75% of the year lmao), youre not getting to morning shifts if they start at 7am cause nothing moves from here before that, god speed if you work on the weekends cause youre really not moving from here or to here almost at all since the schedules were already horrendous and now theyve cut at least three or four drives from that sssssooooooooo

basically what this means is that it cuts my possibilities for jobs i can apply and accept a RIDICULOUS amount. any normal retail job would ask you to be able to work both morning, day and evening shifts; i literally cant do two of those anymore which ofc limits my chances dramatically as someone they would consider hiring. work on weekends? yeah i was already on the fence for it since my saturdays are usually hangout days but i was willing to make sacrifices but knowing i wouldnt be able to work past half two? yeah again, limits my chances so much on being hired

which means. im already struggling to get a job. now with this new schedule they are limiting me so much more on what i can go for and what i can be hired for so i can actually cover any shifts on anything ever. which in turn means im not gonna have that money i need to pay for a bigger apartment. which means im not gonna be able to move. which means im stuck with these schedules. which means im limited in what jobs i can apply and get even considered to be hired for. which means....

you see the issue? you know why im fucking upset and mad and angry and sad and i actually had a screaming crying fit last night cause i cant fucking handle this shit and how inconsidered this whole fucking thing is to literally everyone?? the people who changed the bus scheduling said its cause of the lack of customers (which isnt even true and they compared summer numbers to winter numbers which fucking LMAO ofc people use the busses less during the summer when they can bike or scoot about so much easier. and most of them are not even in town anyways for their vacations so) but also its important to note that i live in the part of town where theres a lot of families and old people and the lack of cars and kids moving around here from school to back is actually very big and yet. YET

im just.. sorry. i needed to get this out. cause its utterly ridiculous and im now stuck in this fucking cycle and i dont know what to do. im gonna send an application for any potential open apartments to the firm i rent from right now since they cover the entire city and have basically the cheapest places here so that maybe i can get something offered to me if anything frees within the next year or so. apart from that i have no idea what to do. i have no desire or money to get a license, let alone a whole ass fucking car, i get anxiety just thinking about driving. im just stuck here, in this goddamn loop that just somehow got worse as i discovered this whole bus scheduling issue last night. and i really dont know how to break it with how these things are all affecting each other

i left the city some feedback about this and got my friends to do it too since we are all fucking mad about this but.. unless they get a noticeable amount of it, i doubt they'll be doing anything about it, or at least not very fast so. im just stuck and im fucked and im upset and im angry and i needed to get this out im sorry if you read this whole thing im just. im going to fucking explode

[windwaver]

yoooo

getting ready to be a lot less active on here this year. never gonna just up and leave b/c this is the only place i ever had any kind of following and i love it here. but im not delusional and i realize the support i had a few years ago is waning and the interaction isn’t where i would like it to be. the most engagement comes from reblogging or posting anime and that’s my shit but that’s not all i like or care about. feels like i gotta be a robot and post the same thing everyday to get acknowledgment and im not that. bruh i used to be able to say the most random shit in a text post and get a few notes. and it wasn’t about the notes honestly it was more about talking w/ followers and mutuals and feeling like i had somewhere to express myself. idek if my mutuals even care about me at this point lol and that’s fine. 2016-2018 will always be the peak for me here. most of the ppl i would talk to were super active and there was always something going on. it was my escape from all the bs in the world. nowadays you’re seeing the same shit here as the outside and it doesn’t feel like there’s much personality left on the site imo.

with me finally getting ready to pursue music by the end of this month, this feels like the right time to let go a lil bit. and im also starting to see better opportunities on other social media to help promote the songs that i release. like my soul eater speed coloring post that just flopped on here 🤣 would actually be a good tool for engagement on tiktok. they’re fun to make and i could add my own music in the background. there are full blown instagram pages that just steal people’s edits and get a ton of followers and some money off it. and i know i could do a better job than those clowns. using my own edits for one. but also b/c i really put a lotta work and love into curating whatever i work on. imma still be around for the next few months but somewhere after that imma start to fade out. thank you to everyone on here that ever gave me the time of day, it meant and still means a lot 🖤

[stoner-matsu]

gonna post my woes bc i cant take it anymore :)

i seriously dont know what to do i went from working full-time to working one day a week.

it started around when my boss moved houses (his whole business is run out of his house) the move was abrupt and at first i didnt think much of it. i understand the stress involved with moving but he started repeatedly talking down to me. he also wouldn't give me a chance to talk about whatever miscommunication problem that was going on.

im currently making efforts to be more on top of things at work. but theres only so much you can do when all the dogs are relaxing and all the humans are just... sitting around.

since im usually alone with my boss i try to make small talk, but he either ignores me or.... nope thats it actually :) he usually doesn't respond when im trying to talk to him, he gives he a rude one word answer, or he shrugs at me.

one time i came into work and he blamed me for "chores not being done" around the place so i asked which ones specifically have i been "slacking on"... he says im on my phone all the time and that i dont sweep or clean out the waste bins.

phone: id argue that i only use it when theres down time (and theres a LOT of down time) but okay i'll work on that if you want me to, fine. but the other two? a couple hours go by after we feed the dogs i say

"well, this is the perfect opportunity for me to do chores. what needs to be done around here?"

"i just need to you sweep and take out the waste"

"and when do you need those done by?"

"by the time you leave"

by the time i leave... in 4 hours :I so i ask

"... is there anything else that needs to be done? right now?"

and the answer was no of course! i was allowed to sit in awkward silence while my boss got to flee inside. the dogs were able to feel the tension because all of them laid around quietly.

my boss and manager both ignored me when i came into work today. i tried asking about the small changes i noticed coming in like extra water storage and a missing couch cusion, but my boss immediately got annoyed with me. all i could say was "sorry i was just asking..."

im so disappointment, i just dont know what went wrong! we all used to be friendly with each other, i hate getting close to people. i always drift apart from people i enjoy being around because eventually they'll get sick of me. just like every job ive ever had. and????? i understand that you dont need to be friends with everyone you work with. i used to go into work with my head down, and just focus on work. people have a way of out casting me when im not even doing anything.

pity pity pity sad sad sad cringe cringe cringe

[wisdominfumbling]

Taking accountability over actions.

My parents have always told me life is all about making desitions and hopefully making the right ones.. Now my dad specifically tells me that more importantly life is about making the wrong ones and learning from that. Learning from the pain, the suffering, the shame, the loneliness, the anxiety and so much more. At frist I didn´t understand when he would say that

¿Why would my own father want me experiencing those feelings?

Later on in life I have found the answer, cause he loves me and he wants me to be happy and life a full life, be a complete woman and in order for me to be that I have to have awful days and weeks, hopefully not months and years but you never know. Now I thought I knew what heartache felt like, a breakup, love related feelings but the truth is I have never been in love, never felt true relationship like love, out of my mind Romeo and Juliet love. I know guys have I´ve been with have felt that for me but I have never been able to reciprocate. ¿Why? I have a short (but still important) list of reasons:

Im immature, somehow I still believe in the perfect guy. tall, handsome (not pretty), smart, loyal, funny, pro family, respectful, athelic, good in bed, manly. And I blame my dad for that, he has always shown me that I deserve the world and the best and that everyone is replaceable and when someone doesn´t fit into one of those requirements I should leave. now the problem is that it really shouldn´t be like that. Im not telling you to settle for something lower but I am saying that some things can be fixed and you should focus on the core of the person. most important is that they have to be loyal, tall, pro family, have a job and respectful. the rest can be altered, I can style him better, cut his hair different, send him to the gym, show him tricks in bed. not so important things but the core should be top requirements for a boyfriend.

I only know how to obsess with guys, dont know how to love them.

Im scared of commitment, Im terrified of telling them everything and then im this vulnerable person and they´ll maybe do the same to me.

Im insecure, physically. im always gonna be comparing to other women specially the cute, thin, blonde ones. I always find them more feminine, prettier.

If there are more reasons.. i forgot them.

The point is, due to those reasons im not able to be in a relationship only situationships work until they start getting serious and i dip or do something to fuck everything up. And thats exactly what i did, if i can give you good and simple advice.. DO NOT DATE YOUR FRIENDS FRIENDS.. EVER. yes it can go really well but it also can go REALLY bad. and you dont want to go there, im telling you.

I was going out with my boy bestfriend´s friend, all good, he had more interest in me than i had in him, he asked me out we went out a couple times on dates, i stayed over at his house, all good (kinda, im not gonna get into the werid stuff that pulled me away) but even after i posted him on my story and people saw us out and about, i still got some dms of guys i used to talk to (and fuck) wanting to see me and stuff. This specific guy im kinda obsessing with dmed me and we talked. my situationship saw and yeah. so basically im a cheater, i fucked up and its been like a month and a half and i still cant get over it. i have so much guilt evenm tho my friends forgave me ? and told me i had nothing to worry about i still worry. i feel bad. i saw this great guy that cared for me, crying in his bed, asking me again and again why did i do it and i just didnt have a good honest answer to give him cause honestly i would end up causing more damage.

A month and a half and already fucked another person, I have been on a couple dates but i just cant seem to replace him yet. which is funny cause when we were a thing it seemed pretty easy to replace him. im also lazy cause if i wanted to be with the guy im obsessing with i could just take the metro and be there in a hour. maybe i feel guilty about seeing him too. fuck i feel guilty about seeing my friends too. i have only told three friends, my bestie that i called him the same day it happened and he helped me out a little but hes a guy so he didnt get it as much, my other guy friend and he was sweeter and told me to not worry and that everyone fucks up at a certain time but as long as i knew that it was wrong it was okay and that he had done much worse, and my other friend shes a girl so she understood better and was very sweet about it, i think they´re being sweet with me is because im the youngest and they can see the shame and the regret in my face everytime they see me.

I know that i shouldve been more straightforward and direct and just told him that i could not give him a relationship at the moment but i just didnt wanna lose on any side. i wanted to have him while having another other and not having any kind of limitation or whatever. I understand thats not how life works but sometimes i fool myself into believing that the universe loves me so mcuh that i get this "im gonna look the other way" treatment. i hope i can feel better now and start moving on with my life, i cannot be stuck on this for any longer. i know he is not stuck and i also know that we will see each other eventually and i want him to see me normal, even if i was the one that fucked up i dont want him to see me that affected.

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 Hunter showed up now all dressed nicely and showered ‘he looks like he’d knock on my door to talk about the big guy. I like him..little shit’ ‘oh Ted. *starts shaking his head* this hurts a lot. Emmett come on baby, please get rid of him until he gets better. This is not okay. Oh fuck you Ted! WHY IS HE MAD THAT EMMETT IS SUCCESSFUL?! He deserves good things! WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME? This fucking finale for this fucking show better be good or im gonna be so fucking pissed at them for making me sad all the time’ ‘FUCKING TRUMP BITCH! WHY IS BRIAN HERE?! what the hell is going on? Oh he looks pretty. *looks at me and puts his hands up in defense* dont take this wrong but leather looks good on him. I mean he looks nice in suits but this *waves at brian in stockwells office* Bellissimo!! I like his hair, its all spikey and shit. OH FUCK YOU, you cant do shit for him! *does a little cheers to him with his soda* yeah! No apologies and no regrets. I should live my life like that too *long pause while he goes to get his pills in the kitchen* but i got anxieties bro. HE is offering BRIAN his job back? After he caught him fucking on his own troll posters? Oh he is SCARED!’ The Ted/Em party is on ‘this is killing me. Drugs are evil and so is that fucker! Ted come on! WHY IS HE BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE?! Emy baby, sugar, you deserve better please.’ ‘YES BRIAN! I KNEW YOU WERE SMART! EVEN THO FOR SOME REASON THEY MADE YOU DUMB IN THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON! *looks at me and pauses tv on Brian again* okay be honest.. could i pull off that type of leather jacket like him? Like that brown one is my new favorite thing. I want it. *points at me while continuing to watch ep* that b-t-w is what oxford dictionary would call a hint. Carl stop being stup- HES DEAD?! THE COP IS DEAD? Suicide? But he made sure to wash his car? What the fuck?’ *once again pauses tv on Em and looks at me with a big smile* ‘i think i have a new idea for a shirt (me: please no, youve done too much already) oh come on! Little mary go fuck yourself sounds hilarious. You’re no fun.’ ‘AW BLONDIE TOOK OU-HIS BOYFRIENDS ADVICE! Thats right Blondie! Gotta take care of your education so that you can be successful and be successful boyfriends with your succes-well currently unemployed boyfriend but oh well. THEY WANT HIM TO WHAT NOW TO WHO? Oh hell no! Absolutely not! Fuck you all.’ ‘Full offense but I wouldn’t allow this doctor mark or whatever to put a fucking bandaid on me. Emmett please im begging you leave him. You deserve way better. Ted *points at him* get fucking help. NO EMMETT NO YOU ARE NOT ANY TYPE OF TRASH FROM ANYWHERE! You dont need him! WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME?!’ Hunter was told to make a wish for something he wants more than anything ‘wanna bet that his wish was for Brian to fuck him? That’d be mine. Okay Mel is on my good side again.’ ‘ITS JUSTIN AND BRIAN AGAIN! *said with a goofy smile on his face* Brian cares so much about Blondie’s education, it’s actually adorable. I don’t think he cares about anything as much as him doing good in school and being successful. AH-DOR-ABLE! (Justins says sometimes you have to sacrifice everything for what you believe in) *stands up quickly* AND THATS WHY I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO EAT A PICKLE! Because i believe I am way better than some weird allergy! (I go to say something and he immediately stops me) shhh- hold up, Brian is gonna do something cute. OH DAMN LOOK AT THAT KISS AND HUG! I was right. Put on the next episode, i already miss them’

Put on the next episode, i already miss them is the biggest mood ever

Uhh, remember what I said about hearing him wail all the way in CA? Well “this fucking finale for this fucking show better be good or im gonna be so fucking pissed at them” is making me more worried. Maybe you should have some fanfiction all pulled up and ready to go, just shove it in his face while he’s still crying.

The Ted and Emmett party is so so cringe and awful. Poor Emmy.

He wants Bri Bri’s leather jacket (Gale looks so good in leather) for christmas? From you? Oh lord.

I will take a Team Brian and a Little Mary Go Fuck Yourself t shirt when he sets up his etsy store.

I don’t think Justin’s “sometimes you need to sacrifice everything for what you believe in extends to your brother eating a pickle.

[pop-punklouis]

about your graduating anon and your response

i graduated in december last year, school year starts back up in march so i said "im gonna take two whole months, i'll worry about finding a job in march" to have somewhat the same two months of summer vacation and like that structure im used to since i was five. now february is coming to an end and i should start worrying about finding a job but i just don't know where or how to start i *am* frightened. i went to the supermarket the other day and thought to myself "i should get my school supplies" and my dad was like "you're not in school anymore" and i was left standing like this 🧍🏻‍♀️

i feel so clueless dbdjsjs i don't know where to go from here i need someone to hold my hand and guide me through adulthood im bedridden with anxiety (not really, well kinda a bit)

i am privileged enough to have a dad who's not pressuring me to get out of the house and find a job, money is tight at the moment but we're not struggling but i feel so fucking useless being 25 and not having a job and now i don't even have the excuse of being a full time student xbbdhdjdndb

my dad however insist on taking it slow, this is the last time i'll ever have this much time to just not stress and relax and have "me" time because once I find a job and get into the rhythm i most likely won't stop until i retire so it's okay to just be free for a bit, ive been studying my whole life to the point i don't know what i am if im not in an academic environment and it feels like i've been stressed since before i left high-school

I don't know if there was that much of a point to this whole rant just it's okay to be scared about your future after graduation, it's okay to take a break if you are able to, everything will work itself out eventually

it’s almost like you’ve been walking around in my brain with this ask 🙃 it’s always good to be reminded that we’re not alone and a lot of people are struggling with this after graduation. like it’s one thing to know it but it’s another to hear someone personally talk about it yk? so i’m giving you the biggest hug 🫂 things will work out for us somehow, someway and we’ll be able to venture out into the world without all this fear and burn out. love you grey

[rosarecovered]

*Update for all the people who don’t read my stuff*

January 31st 2023

I don’t remember my last post on here, I’ll have to check after typing this out and posting it BUT ya girl been thru it the last few months. I relapsed back in July like one time here, one time there and then full on relapse in august. Went to jail October 15th and stayed on a 44 day sanction until November 27th. I got out and relapsed of course on meth and heroin. Which reminds me, I’m not sure if I ever mentioned I started using heroin over a year ago now. And back in august I was narcaned for my first time, and like 4 more times after that. I actually came to terms and accepted the fact that I needed to be in jail because I would have died on the streets from ODing every other day. And I was even grateful for jail but decided I never wanted to go back. So why did I relapse immediately after getting out? Well because I’m an addict obviously. But I knew I needed to stop and do something different. So I immediately got my old job back making pretzels and choose to try MAT(medication assisted treatment) by getting on suboxone. I know it’s basically trading one addiction for another and it’s not technically “clean” but I can honestly say I haven’t touched heroin or meth since December and I really don’t have a desire to. My cravings and triggers only show up when I’m going thru something emotionally/mentally challenging. I was smoking carts of delta 8 from the gas station(weed is illegal in my state still) and trying to push it as far as I could with my PO but I can’t keep violating my probation. Plus CPS would like me to start doing UAs so I can have time alone with my daughter. So the carts are done. So yeah guys, I’m sober! And I really don’t know how I’ve managed to stay so positive and happy especially since it’s winter, and the holidays are always terrible for me, and a few personal relationship issues I’ve had to deal with. The old me would not have been able to deal with these problems at all. I’m really proud of myself. And I really think I’m finally at that point where I’m gonna do it. Im gonna fuckin do it.