#if only getting remote jobs would be easy. or i had the skill sets for them

[the-kipsabian]

so heres the gist of it

im unemployed

that should be the end of it lmao. unfortunately its not

on top of that, i live in one of the cheapest single bedroom apartments in the entire city. and yet according to new rulings that started this spring, im paying 12 euros too much for rent to be considered for the full amount of financial help that i should be able to get to help pay for it, which delays my paperwork every single time i apply for this benefit (thats high key crucial for my survival as, again, im unemployed as fuck) and they keep insisting i need to look for a cheaper apartment (which is impossible, there literally isnt any in this whole city and if there is, they are so sought after at this point people nab them immediately so...) or i might lose most of those benefits in the future. so thats fun

but i cant move cause i cant afford a more expensive place cause 1. im still unemployed as fuck and 2. they wouldnt approve of my paperwork cause even higher rent would be against their rules and the cost limit they are enforcing so...

ive been trying to get a job for a well over a year and a half now. nobody is hiring even tho a lot of people are looking. it always comes down to either being in a location i cant get to (cause its too far and i dont have a car or the hours are so inconsistent i cant make it without a car, usually) or just not being good enough with my skillset or whatever the fuck. it always goes to someone else and its been like that for months now so.. yeah, im kinda stuck with that too

HOWEVER the city has decided to add another fucking wrench into my entire situation since remember, im 1. unemployed as fuck, 2. i dont own a car, or even have a license for that matter, to move around everywhere, and 3. the government is actively trying to get me to move into a cheaper apartment that simply does not exist in this city ffs or they might cut my benefits or at least delay all my payments with taking ages with the added paperwork cause of that :)

so now? they have completely destroyed the bus schedules to my part of the city. nothing moves in or out of here past half six on the evening on weekdays anymore. even worse, on weekends nothing goes past two in the afternoon. which is.. ridiculous. that means that if you work evening shifts, tough shit youre not getting home unless you bike or walk (which isnt exactly a valid option with winter coming soon and lasting for like 75% of the year lmao), youre not getting to morning shifts if they start at 7am cause nothing moves from here before that, god speed if you work on the weekends cause youre really not moving from here or to here almost at all since the schedules were already horrendous and now theyve cut at least three or four drives from that sssssooooooooo

basically what this means is that it cuts my possibilities for jobs i can apply and accept a RIDICULOUS amount. any normal retail job would ask you to be able to work both morning, day and evening shifts; i literally cant do two of those anymore which ofc limits my chances dramatically as someone they would consider hiring. work on weekends? yeah i was already on the fence for it since my saturdays are usually hangout days but i was willing to make sacrifices but knowing i wouldnt be able to work past half two? yeah again, limits my chances so much on being hired

which means. im already struggling to get a job. now with this new schedule they are limiting me so much more on what i can go for and what i can be hired for so i can actually cover any shifts on anything ever. which in turn means im not gonna have that money i need to pay for a bigger apartment. which means im not gonna be able to move. which means im stuck with these schedules. which means im limited in what jobs i can apply and get even considered to be hired for. which means....

you see the issue? you know why im fucking upset and mad and angry and sad and i actually had a screaming crying fit last night cause i cant fucking handle this shit and how inconsidered this whole fucking thing is to literally everyone?? the people who changed the bus scheduling said its cause of the lack of customers (which isnt even true and they compared summer numbers to winter numbers which fucking LMAO ofc people use the busses less during the summer when they can bike or scoot about so much easier. and most of them are not even in town anyways for their vacations so) but also its important to note that i live in the part of town where theres a lot of families and old people and the lack of cars and kids moving around here from school to back is actually very big and yet. YET

im just.. sorry. i needed to get this out. cause its utterly ridiculous and im now stuck in this fucking cycle and i dont know what to do. im gonna send an application for any potential open apartments to the firm i rent from right now since they cover the entire city and have basically the cheapest places here so that maybe i can get something offered to me if anything frees within the next year or so. apart from that i have no idea what to do. i have no desire or money to get a license, let alone a whole ass fucking car, i get anxiety just thinking about driving. im just stuck here, in this goddamn loop that just somehow got worse as i discovered this whole bus scheduling issue last night. and i really dont know how to break it with how these things are all affecting each other

i left the city some feedback about this and got my friends to do it too since we are all fucking mad about this but.. unless they get a noticeable amount of it, i doubt they'll be doing anything about it, or at least not very fast so. im just stuck and im fucked and im upset and im angry and i needed to get this out im sorry if you read this whole thing im just. im going to fucking explode

[strawberrylabs]

Whumptober day 4 with Beidou!

Prompt: "I can see the danger, it's written there in your eyes."

Whumptober masterlist

Summary: Sometimes Beidou worries about the jobs you go on as an agent of the Tianquan.

Warnings: death and corpses

Life as one of the Tianquan’s agents was never easy.

You knew this when you accepted the position.

Your lover Beidou also knew this.

When Ningguang offered you the job, you and the pirate had a discussion about what it would mean for the two of you.

Considering Beidou also works closely with Ningguang, you decided it would be fine. Ningguang agreed to make as many of your assignments place you wherever Beidou would be, while Yelan handled the other jobs.

It worked out great- You and Beidou got to stay together and work together for Liyue’s most powerful figure, and you both got great pay, plus you got to keep the best job you’ve ever had.

However, despite often working jobs that Beidou could help with, being a secret operative for the Tinquan would always have its risks.

Occasionally, you’d receive a confidential mission from Ningguang. Ones you can’t tell Beidou about. 

Beidou knows this, and she’s usually fine with letting you go for a few weeks to handle whatever needs to be handled.

Unless the job poses considerable concern for your wellbeing. Which was almost all of them.

After a few too many missions resulting with new scars adorning your body, Beidou started insisting she came with you to complete your missions.

You know she can’t go with you. She knows too.

But she can’t stand the days waiting for your return, wondering if you’ll come back at all, not even knowing where to search for your corpse should it come to it. 

She knows she can’t go with you, but every time she asks all the same.

Now, you’ve resorted to not telling her about missions. 

It hurts, and you feel guilty, but it’s the only way to fulfil your mission on time without Beidou relentlessly asking to go with you.

That brings us to now…

You had been given what you would call your most dangerous mission yet. 

You were preparing to leave immediately, leaving a note for Beidou informing her of your departure and an estimated time for your return.

You didn’t manage to get very far before your lover in question stopped you.

"Leaving for another mission just like that darling? Not even a goodbye?"

You stay facing away from her.

"Is it dangerous?"

You don't answer her.

"Is it more dangerous than others?"

You don't answer again.

A silence that seems to stretch on for hours fills the air.

She grabs you and turns you around to face her, looking you in the eyes.

"I can see the danger, it's written there in your eyes."

Before you can open your mouth to speak, she continues

"There's something different about this mission isn't there? It's going to be even more perilous than the last. Please love, you have to let me go with you."

Her eyes plead with you as her grip on your shoulders tighten.

"Beidou... you know you can't. Ningguang can't this information to be known-."

"I don't give a damn!"

You mouth falls agape. You had never heard Beidou even remotely disagree with Ningguang.

"I couldn't care less if Ningguang sends an army to kill me, I'll do anything to protect the person I love dammit!"

You think you see tears forming in the corner of Beidou's eye, but you look away before you see them fall.

".. I'm sorry Beidou."

You walk out the door, ignoring Beidou's calls.

"Please!" You she ran to you and grabbed your elbow, pulling her into you.

You could feel her desperation seeping into your bones.

"Even if you go I'll follow you!"

You let out a dry chuckle at that. You both know damn well she wouldn't be able to.

You were a trained agent who's skill set was designed for stealth opperations. She wouldn't be able to follow you.

She's just trying to comfort herself.

And maybe you too.

"Again... I'm sorry Beidou.. I love you."

You shake her off and this time she doesn't go after you.

By the time she's out of her melancholic gaze, you're too far away to hear her whisper.

"I love you too..."

You'll never get to know how much she regrets not telling you when you could hear.

She carried that regret with her for months...

She kept telling herself she'll tell you the second she sees you again.

Even after 7 months...

8 months...

12 months....

it was 15 months before Beidou saw you again.

"I love you."

You never got to hear her say it.

But hey, at least your remains did...

note: I didn't mean for that ending to be so macabre... sorry guys</3

[ms-katonic-of-tamriel]

Saering Twice-Grown

Two different people (@fried-pickle and @cryinngcat) have asked me about more info on him, so I thought I should write out what I have on him.

ETA: NOW UPDATED with a comparison to Lucien.

Of Atmoran blood but short for one, Saering was raised in a village in Eastmarch far from population centres or Dragon Cult temples, with a rather idealised view of what it all involved.  Dark eyes, unusual for one of his kin, but not unheard of.  He had the red hair and pale skin though.

Saering was born female but knew he hated living that way.  His family had other ideas and were tring to arrange a marriage to a neighbouring family’s son.  Saering found out and ran to the nearby witches, who were used to dealing with girls on the run from abusive families... but not so used to girls who’d rather be boys.  Still, they had the magic to help and one ritual later, Saering had ovaries that produced testosterone instead and no longer had breasts.  Of course, he couldn’t go home in that state, so off he went to Windhelm instead, where he did all sorts of odd jobs to get by until he’d got enough muscle mass to swing a battle-axe.  That was when he got on the boat for Solstheim, then a major centre of the Dragon Cult and always recruiting new warriors, with gender not a requirement as long as you could fight.  The Twice-Grown name came from having to do puberty twice.

That was where he met Miraak, already a senior Dragon Priest with a mask despite only being a few years older.  Saering was 19 by this point, Miraak 22.  In retrospect, Saering in particular should not have been marrying anyone, but Miraak was handsome and persistent in his courtship, and when a high-status Dragon Priest is courting you, it’s hard to say no.  It pretty much set the tone for their entire marriage.  Saering would have been better off taking a few years to find himself and grow up a bit, get over the traumatic childhood before settling down with someone more on his level.  Alas for all concerned it never happened and Saering found his extremely promising military career disappearing as he ended up consort to the Dragon Priest.  It was not easy for him, not remotely, and seeing Miraak get increasingly autocratic and arrogant didn’t help.  And then he died.

Not a happy story but it wasn’t all bad and he did love Miraak, and Miraak doted on him in turn.  All the same, they probably weren’t the best match for each other.

As for how he compares to Lucien, Lucien’s got a lot less issues to deal with due to supportive family, not being raised the wrong gender and generally growing up privileged and indulged, although he had his own issues.  Mostly around probably ND and sexually inexperienced, which Saering didn’t have. Saering’s better in a fight and with practical skills in general and would not constantly need rescuing, but Lucien is better at communicating and was never exactly intimidated by Miraak.  Plus Lucien and Miraak have this shared interest in knowledge going on, and a bit more to talk about out of bed.  Saering would probably be amazed at Lucien just going up to Miraak and just... asking him for stuff.  Without being afraid of the reaction or anything.

Anyway, that’s all the canon I have that’s not gone in the stories.  Hope that’s OK!

[pr1ncesspopstar]

Nothing You Don't Want To Hear - FFXIV Write 2023 - Day 3: Hire (Free)

Takes place post-ARR | Ao3

-

The idea of hiring a retainer filled Halditar with a bitterness she had hoped she left behind.

She couldn’t wrap her head about the seeming obsession adventurers in this land had with them. Whether it be her juniors lamenting when they’d have enough gil and notoriety to hire one, or her elders having them run around completing whatever task they deemed too unimportant for their own hands. Even in the most remote places she could find, chances were a bloody retainer would be there as well, or at least a summoning bell.

Halditar tried not to judge them too harshly. Many were kind folk, merely having picked up the job out of a passion or need. They had done nothing to earn her ire… Yet her skin crawled anytime she heard a honey-worded retainer speak. Only able to wonder if they spat venomous words behind the backs of their employers. If they stared at those adventures with a vicious hate as soon as their back was turned.

Her chest began to ache. The burn of humiliation welcomed itself unto her body, draping her skin in an uncomfortable, flushed heat. The cackling of those she once knew as friends bounced around her skull. They had mocked her from the shadows when they thought she was long out of ear shot. They spilled secrets she confided in them while they stared at her with gazes of pity and contempt from behind. The fury she had held against them, and then the isolation so painful when she cut them away the child she once was pondered if it would have been better to endure the cruelty just to have someone by her side.

How cruel it was that such memories could flood her mind with only the most passing thought.

Halditar didn’t need a retainer. And that was the truth of it for the longest time.

But the steady escalation of her work, from a simple adventurer to savior of the realm started to weigh on her. Literally. Her bag stuffed to the brim with things she simply didn’t have the time to sell, even her chocobo struggled under the weight of all the things she stored in his saddlebags. Letters from herbalist and alchemist friends she had made throughout her journey were piled up, requesting her botanist skill for supplies she simply hadn’t the time to gather. She refused to say it aloud, but it was obvious. Whether she wanted it or not, she was long overdue to hire help.

Thus she found herself in Ul’dah. On the rare rainy day that blessed the arid desert, which often seemed to bring more people out that kept them inside. She leaned against the counter of the retainer vocations, holding a massive book of retainers for hire. Her brow furrowed as she flipped page after page. Sometimes she passed by dozens of them in minutes. Some would call her picky, but she had to be. She wasn’t going to trust any schmuck to handle her wares and botanist dealings. Nor was she keen on trusting the written descriptions of these people. It was much too easy to lie about yourself on ink and paper. All she could do was trust her gut.

“Excuse me,” a voice said. Halditar did not look up from the pages before her, continuing to flip deeper into the tome. Despite her lack of attention, the voice persisted. “You’re an adventurer, correct?”

“If you need help with something, head to The Quicksand,” she said in an effort to wave them off. “Momodi can find you help just as well as I, for a fraction of the time and cost.”

“Allow me to rephrase myself then.” The voice huffed now, getting sharp with annoyance. “You are Halditar Elilwyn? The Savior of Eorzea.”

The roegadyn finally drew her gaze up from the ink printed on parchment. The man standing before her was Elezen, a rare sight in the walled city. A verdant green hood protected his pale blonde hair from the downpour. His sharp features set with a grace typical of his kin. His stare may have been just as dagger-like if not for the brilliant shade of purple his eyes were colored with, softening the hardness of his gaze. He looked too serious and recognized her too easily to be just a casual traveler. 

“I’m busy. If you insist on getting my help, wait at The Quicksands. I can be with you in a few hours.” She returned her gaze downwards, skimming words with a practiced precision.

“Actually, I’m here to extend my help to you.”

“No thanks. I’ve had enough people proposition me about making ‘good gil fast.’ You’ve got a good set of balls on you for trying with me though.”

The book between her hands slammed shut. The elezen’s lips were tugged down into a frown, his face shoved mere inches from her’s to make sure he had her attention.

“I’m serious. My name is Ifort. I’m a retainer looking for a master.” He spoke with a heavy enunciation on each word, like he didn’t expect her to understand unless he spelled it out for her. Halditar let her eyes narrow, sliding the book back onto the counter behind as she drew up to her full height, towering over the stranger.

“And what makes you think slamming a book in my face makes me inclined to pick you?” She asked, matching the hard edge of his voice as she looked him up and down. Now that he was closer she could smell the odor of travel, and see the dirt that scuffed his clothes, turning to mud in the rain. “You’re not from here, are you?”

“Where I’m from is irrelevant. What isn’t is that you have been searching for a retainer for nearly a week now and yet to hire anyone.”

“My standards for a retainer are none of your business.”

“I can easily live up to them.”

Halditar let out a short, loud laugh at that. “You don’t even know what they are!”

“And I don’t need to. I’d rather prove my capabilities than discuss them.” He pulled from his side a bag and handed it to her. Her eyes widened at what was inside. Emerald beans, cyshal green, magma beets. All still fresh, and harvested with nary a leaf or cut out of place. These would stay fresh for days, maybe weeks.

A part of her wanted to think maybe he bought them from the market board, but the evidence was there that couldn’t be the case. Dirt from their place of harvest any merchant would have cleaned off before selling. And getting if he was willing to go so far as to solidify the lie of having gathered these himself by getting dirt from the native region, he may as well deserved to get away with it.

“…Not bad,” She admitted, handing the bag back. “But good botany skill alone isn’t enough. What of your bargaining?

“I have a seller interested in this satchel for 75% more than market price. I can bring the receipts after as proof.”

“How are you with questions?”

“I avoid asking unnecessary ones at all costs.”

“Why’s that?”

“They waste both of our time.”

“And what do you consider an ‘unnecessary’ question?”

“Things I can research the answer for myself and ones you don’t want to hear.”

“Why seek me out specifically?”

“You’re strong.”

“You don’t seem like someone that values strength.”

“And you don’t seem like someone that’d be overly cautious about good help but here we are,” Ifort paused for a moment, before speaking again, seeming to understand that wouldn’t be a satisfying answer to the adventurer. “And it’s less to do with strength and more… trust,” he chose his words carefully. “People rely on you, meaning you on some level have to be a good person. And I’d like to work for someone like that.”

“Yes, but we’re strangers. You’ve no reason to trust me, beyond stories.” She argued.

“Momodi, Baderon, and Miounne sang your praises otherwise and I am not one to take words at face value.” He remained, staunch, unmoving in near perfect posture as he challenged her word. She was at an utter loss of words. Just how determined was he to go so far as to ask the adventurer’s guild for her.

“Being a good person doesn’t mean I’ll be a good boss. I’m rough around the edges, I make bad market calls, and I genuinely hate the idea of needing help with small things and get annoyed when they aren’t done best.” She warned, trying one final time to dissuade him. To see if there was anything that could turn him away.

“I have not been known to hold my tongue and speak harshly about my opinions when asked, enough to land me in trouble with my previous employers cooperators.” Ifort shrugged. Such a lackadaisical acceptance of flaws, Halditar couldn’t help crack a grin. He had a grit to him, despite the air of grace, and how nice that felt compared to the over-polite platitudes she was so familiar with.

“Persistent bastard, you are. Alright. I’ll give you a month, and we’ll see how things work out.” She took his hand and shook it vigorously. Though his serious expression was ever serious, a bit of a warm shine came to his expression that day.

[justsokaela]

Slow Saturdays…

I’m left work early during my lunch yesterday because I was feeling so shitty. I only missed out on 2.25 hours, and it was so slow being a Friday during Spring Break, and half our crews took the week off, so it’s not like I missed anything important.

I laid down, didn’t really sleep though. I would close my eyes, play on my phone, make my headache worse and close my eyes some more, pet my dog…

My boyfriend still came up, and he offered to pick up food on the way in, so he brought me some chicken pasta and vegetable soup from the local Italian restaurant near my parents’ house. They messed up his buffalo chicken wrap order though, which made me feel guilty. So I warmed up some of the leftover Italian Wedding soup my dad had recently made too many tubs worth of, and sent him home today with his leftovers and the rest of the soup from that Tub.

I took a short nap after he left, window shopping online for nothing in particular, but thinking abour how I’ll need to update my wardrobe and secure pieces appropriate and comfortable for me to work in and still feel like I’m expressing my whimsical weird self…next paycheck, I’ll put down on a couple items from the thrift store. Thrifting is better anyways!

I discussed my career plans with my parents, about how I am hesitant to accept a job in a law firm that I might get offered as a legal assistant, which is great for me because:

1) I have a paralegal certificate, I should use it.

2) my ultimate goal is to be a law librarian at a university law school someday - law firm experience is obviously useful for this.

3) it pays 3$ more per hour than my current job

4) Still has good benefits

5) is a large firm in our region that covers a lot of different branches of law, which is good for building a well-rounded set of skills in the position

6) after a few months, a hybrid remote schedule is possible, which is pretty cool

7) working in a firm can help build connections and network for my future law school plans

On the other hand:

1) my current job has incredibly good work-life balance. Following an academic calendar gives us more breaks or slow-periods, I work in administration so there are few people I have to “answer” to and my boss is really nice and cares about us, and doesn’t let people treat us like crap. I have lots of PTO and union-protection.

2) my job is pretty easy, but still offers me room for growth, i’ve been assigned to train on some new tasks involving accounts receivable and doing the invoices, which is some really valuable skills

3) my job being pretty easy, it also has a lot of downtime - I’m not constantly being micromanaged or expected to fill every second of my day with “work.” I have room to learn new things - like build my excel skills- doodle, goof around on Tumblr or Pinterest, organize my life, write, read, study, and even make my grocery list, and I still have plenty of room and mental energy to complete all my daily tasks and assignments.

4) my dog as an ESA is permitted to come to work with me everyday. This means that I get the comfort and security of his presence but also he isnt left alone all day. We go for walks during breaks and lunch, which is beneficial for me too getting outside and not sitting in my chair constantly, and everyone at work loves him! He’s my best friend and I love spending my days with him like this. I am not sure he would be welcome at a busy firm.

5) the law firm is 35 minutes away from home, which means more time spent driving in traffic on the shittiest highway ever and more mileage on my car, and more gas costs

6) the law firm requires billed hours 40-50 per week, and is very busy and intense

I talked about my concerns like I mentioned above with my boyfriend and he thinks it’s a good idea for me take the firm job - because getting experience is really useful, and it will help me decide if law is what I really want to do or not. However, if I take that job and it turns out I hate it and don’t want to work in a law firm after all, then I will be either stuck working in a job and environment that makes me miserable or overwhelms me, or I’m forced to quit and look for a new job all over again.

While I think he makes good points - I think it’s wiser for me to stay where I am, stabilize myself and learn as much as I can, and really utilize all the free time and mental energy I have in a safe and stable work environment -albeit barely manageable income- and put it towards finishing my Masters in Library Information Sciences online first. And even though I need a second source of reliable income, I think it will be manageable BECAUSE I have a less-stressful job.

So I think I will cancel the interview and just keep doing what I’m doing. Stop looking for the potentially next better thing and let myself take root and grow for a bit. I’m not ready to be re-planted just yet…

[spirals-within-spirals]

Reason Why Lyrren is Fucking Awful #2: the League

Getting this one out of the way now, because I know very well I'll get people who are like "Yeah, but it's worth it! H4rdc0r3!" because travelling one of the most fucking remote and dangerous regions in the world is fine if it lets you take part in, as that one fucking mewtuber called it "The Secret Hardcore League They Don't Want You to Know About!"

Can you tell I'm peeved about this part?

Like everything, the reality is more complicated. Lyrren's league is hard, yeah, but especially for foreigners it's not a kind of difficulty that's any kind of fun.

First of all, the league is deeply important to Lyrren in many ways. For one it's part of their Journey, which is significantly more significant there than it is elsewhere. The paper I read estimated that something like 80% of people there go on one at 15. I shouldn't need to mention that that's a truly ridiculous number, the statistics I've dug up for Sinnoh are closer to half that. Back home it's pretty important too yeah, but in Lyrren it's considered a major milestone in their life, the transition from childhood to adulthood, and evolved directly from a literal pilgrimage.

And there was I, blundering in because I thought it sounded fun.

The sheer fucking vibes of "YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE" in every step of my journey there did a number on me, even without all the straight-up xenophobia. I'm honestly surprised they even let foreigners participate, might just be because they don't have a way to legally differentiate us from locals.

The second way is very literal. Lyrren is one of the few nations that still has League Rule absolutism, AKA the league is the government. It also serves as an absolutely spectacular argument against that form of government because holy fuck. It's about as competent in governing as you'd expect for a bunch of people selected for their battling skills. Way it got that way is a long story but let's just say there was a massive power vacuum, and the league was the only entity capable of even vaguely filling it.

So, an exercise for the reader. You are the head of the Elite Four. Your region has been torn apart by war, the champion is dead and no one has replaced them yet, the government is essentially gone and you've somehow found yourself the closest thing your region has to a leader. What is the first thing you do?

Cement your own power by any means that won't get the population to revolt, of course. If someone manages to climb their way through the league and beat you, they'll become your boss, and we can't have that. There has not been a champion of Lyrren in almost fifty years.

As a result of that philosophy, I've seen gym regulation in Lyrren summed up as "don't let too many trainers through." Not joking, they have one guy, and his only job is to make sure the gyms aren't too easy. And like, yes, the gyms are very difficult because of that, but not in the way other regions are. Leagues elsewhere are meant to be a challenge, but in the end it's intended that a competent trainer be able to progress through it. Lyrren's league exists to stop people from reaching its elite. It's designed to be unfair. Plus there's an age-old law against anyone with under 8 badges even setting foot on Ticsi Island, the home of the league. Which is also the seat of their fucking government. Do you smell the corruption yet?

As for the gym battles themselves, while their standards for each badge are significantly higher than most places (gym leader I challenged for the first badge had a fucking Metang), difficulty spikes and dips because the leaders decide themselves what mons they want to use for which level, doesn't matter to the league as long as not too many people get through, and apart from using weaker mons they do not fucking go easy on you. 6v6 battles from badge 2, I almost lost that one because the gym leader used several techniques I'm pretty sure would be illegal anywhere else, including painting the walls with horrific war imagery and revealing it mid-battle.

Also, because gyms are, like most things in Lyrren, handled almost entirely locally the gyms themselves can be... strange. The gym puzzle of Chaca City involves fighting a gym trainer. Like, not with pokémon. Steel-type specialists too, I didn't even dare to try. Watched it a bit, but there's only so much of adults beating up teens you can take. On top of that, apparently gym leaders often look at how you complete the puzzle to determine who they rig the match against if they need to get some wins to pump up their stats, and also whoop for me because being a foreigner pretty much automatically puts you on that list.

So let me walk you though a few steps of my hell. I arrived in Xochi City, the only port in Lyrren that allows foreign ships, and went straight to its gym, grass type. Take most of the day to finish the puzzle, a maze where you need to answer questions I assume are obvious to the Lyrrenese but I had no clue about, before getting to the leader. Fun fact: Lyrrenese badges are not internationally recognized, but apparently Lyrrenese gyms can decide to recognize international ones if they want to? Not sure if that's how it works or if he was just fucking with me. So there I was, seven-badger from Sinnoh cluelessly walking into an eighth-badge match. Another fun fact: in an eighth-badge match, Lyrrenese gym leaders are required to use their personal teams. Yet another fun fact: the gym leader of Xochi City used to be an Elite Four member. And as a side note, the Elite Four of Lyrren are sometimes called the Four Champions, and that's not an empty title.

So yeah. I got fucking annihilated. Didn't even beat his Ludicolo.

Like, I've gotten top 8 in the Lily of the Valley since then, and I still know I 100% would lose like a chump even now. From what I've read he's one of the three gym leaders people there make sure not to leave for last because their personal teams are nearly impossible to beat.

Sounds fair, right?

So let's say you make it past that. You're strong enough to get past eight gyms that are stacked against you and all the other fucking hurdles in your way (will get into more in later posts, but it's a lot), and you make it to the Spring's End Tournament. You just need to win that, and you get to challenge the Elite Four, and beat them and you become the champion of Lyrren. Hard, but possible right?

Well too bad, your journey ends there.

I could go into the caliber of trainer who participates in Spring's End (I recommend looking up recordings sometime, picture quality's shit but the battling is not), but I don't need to. Of the four foreign participants in Spring's End I've been able to find concrete evidence of, three were disqualified on the first day of the tournament for "poor sportsmanship" (read: We Don't Want You Here) and the last, some poor idiot from Unova, just straight up disappeared. I don't think they even bothered looking for the body. The league may not want anyone to have a fair shot at the championship, but, and I can't emphasize this part enough, no one wants a foreigner to become champion.

And for the record, the Elite Four matches are also incredibly stacked against the challenger. Once one is beaten the next steps in immediately to continue the fight, so not only do you have to beat four of the strongest trainers in the world, you need to beat them in a row without resting. Apparently a good two thirds of challengers lose to the first, and there's like three occurrences of anyone beating the second. The third crushed all of them within minutes of stepping onto the field. Frankly I seriously doubt any trainer alive could take on that challenge unless they got a high legend or something to join them.

So yeah. I'd call it less of a hardcore challenge, more butting in on a century-old tradition centered around a fucking mess of a system that's had a hatchet taken to it in order to fuck it up even further. Still sound worth it?

[theorangerangers]

While Jack remains the leader I think he would a bit more quite in general similar to Raph at the start generally he’d have strong leadership skills but also be more aware of what Miko and Raph can do and at this point he probably knows them well enough that he can can probably make a signal with his hand or just make a face and the other two would understand immediately leading him to need to talk less. He would be more stoic in general trying not to let his feelings about what he would prefer get the better of him since he knows there’s no real out for a life like his and his friends after what they’ve done helping the autobots. He’s kinda like Optimus as he ages but he’s also more focused on what’s in-front of him and dealing with whatever organization wants to rise and take mech’s place since it’s never as easy as just Silas killing everyone. He’s kinda paranoid due to this but he manages.

Raph would probably be a bit more like Miko, more willing to kinda of jump people like a caged animal with his skills due to burn out. I think there would be a degree of underlying anger about what he’s experienced at such a young age. He’s not mad at the bots per say more so at life at times but as he gets better at looking at the situations he knows if not for autobot ethetics they could have a much higher edge

Miko would probably end up being the most personable but more in a “I can kill everyone in the room easily” kind of confidence. She’s probably trained in martial arts and different weapons at this point and has used the apex armor plenty of times. She would be the one who acts “normal” at that point but more so to serve her own ends to help her friends and autobots. She still loves heavy metal, hair dye, and monster truck rally’s but she more in touch with how to get what she wants from others by listening more.

Rachet is still on earth and he’s kept an eye on them and he knows they mean well and are doing whatever they can to help the autobots when they visit as well as protect their planet but he laments every now and again the innocence they could have still had. He hears Raph bring up how his roommate got his hair stuck in a salad spinner or Miko talking about how some of the girls on her dorm floor got kicked out for flooding the flow below with purple paint and being dumb enough to not pay attention to where the cameras were in the comunal areas. The little adventures that the kids could have had themselves without the weight of the world on their shoulders. It kind of hurts to see so much of himself in Raph, and so much of Optimus in Jack along with what he can only imagine was how Wheeljack was in his earlier days in Miko. They’re doing a great job and he’s proud but sometimes when he’s alone he wonders if they’ve doomed the kids to repeat their mistakes later down the line.

If the autobots came back like in RiD I think Raph would be good at tracking them down while Miko would be good at actually catching them if they resist. Jack would make sure whatever remote weapon Raph is using to help Miko is in place and just make sure everyone is on the same page in general and maybe set a few things on fire in the process. He would also be the first to try and talk them down before anything else though. He tries not to raise a hand before first extending it.

nah man you know what

enough with the 'uwu humans are fragile' in the transformers fandoms

gimme humans that are FERAL and are literal space orcs on a hell planet that tries every day to kill them even when its a nice day!

our games as children teach us hunting/evading/pursuit skills. Hide and Seek anyone? we learn to hide from enemies, how to track them down, and how to run them down if playing hide and seek: tag edition.

lets take Earthspark for example.

yes the cybertronians are Much Larger than us and that's Scary bc we're just a Little Guy but also once we get over that fear they become jungle gyms. you literally cannot tell me that (willing) autobots would not have at least 20 soldiers climbing all over their frames, using them as a the 'quick route' to get onto tall walkaways instead of having to go down the hall a quarter of a mile, take a left, take an elevator, and then climb stairs to reach the correct catwalk.

Wheeljack introduces a new weapon? the humans go "ooooo NICE but add a flame thrower."

"Why"

"bc i want to be able to toast marshmallows while i shoot shit with this thing"

just humans being their little weird humans selves and giving cybertronians on both sides heart attacks with the stupid shit we do

[sitp-recs]

hi! there just seems so many pining draco posts that im always searching for pining harry. i was harry madly in love with draco and pining for him. ive read some that arw often recommended but i need more. can you rec some? thanks

Hello! Oh I love myself some pining Harry, such a delicious trope. I did a reclist at some point but here are some additional recs for you :)

Burning Down the House by @peachpety (2021, M, 4k)

Harry is happy as editor-in-chief of The Quibbler. From planning to printing, design to deadlines, he enjoys being in the hot seat. And after vanquishing Voldemort, managing fires is an easy part of the job. Until his scorching crush on his impeccably dressed fashion editor flares out of control, and he's forced to face actual fires.

Blue Sky Is Living Here Today by ignatiustrout (2018, G, 5k)

Draco's a father, Harry's in love with him, and it's really hard to take things slow.

Mise en Place by @corvuscrowned (2021, T, 5.4k)

Draco needs to learn how to cook, and luckily, Harry knows his way around a kitchen. The fact that Draco is using his newfound cooking skills to impress another man... Well, Harry just tries not to think about that too much.

Clear As Mud by scoradh (2005, M, 9k)

Set post-war and post-Harry's-conscience...

Saltwater Stain by @the-starryknight (2021, M, 9k) - cw: open/ambiguous ending

Seven days stuck on a boat investigating a rogue ghost wouldn't be so bad if Harry didn't want Draco so much. Draco has his rules and Harry's content to follow them, but the air feels different away from the shore. Is it possible that the sea could offer Harry something impossible on land?

Poppiholla by @moonflower-rose (2021, M, 12k)

Harry had accepted that he would pine silently for Malfoy forever, but one, humid summer might change that.

With Great Yawns and Stretchings by sugar_screw (2016, T, 22k)

The coffee is very good. Really. And the cats are so cute. That's why Harry goes so often.

Time and Again by lauren3210 (2015, E, 28k)

Draco has an important research assignment, and he needs Auror protection. Harry’s a little concerned, not only because he can’t even pronounce the places Draco’s dragging him off to, but because there’s the slightest chance he might do something stupid, like tell Draco all about that little crush he’s been harbouring for a while now...

On Your Shore by @xanthippe74 (2020, M, 35k)

Clearing out a remote house full of cursed collectibles in the Outer Hebrides? Not a problem for an experienced curse breaker like Harry Potter. Spending a week with the straight, happily-married man that he’s starting to have feelings for? And sharing a bed with him at night? Surely Harry can handle that, too. But both the house and Draco Malfoy have secrets to uncover, and Harry might be in deeper water than he thought.

What Dreams May Come by @firethesound (2020, E, 36k)

If Harry had to get called into work on his day off, at least he was able to get Malfoy called in too.

Azoth by @lol-zeitgeistic (2013, E, 88k)

Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care.

Kaleidoscope by Saras_Girl (2021, E, 104k)

If Harry’s honest, the last thing he needs is a house full of Draco Malfoy, but partners are partners, and perhaps, the thing he wants the least will turn out to be absolutely everything. 2021 advent fic, completed.

[moxfirefly]

How about #25: can you help me with the zipper? And #35 spanking with our favorite purple genius?? Spice things up lol

👁👄👁 I am-

Y’all heathens, I’m more than happy to.

Rated Explicit (18+ only)

Stepping into the Lair you took in the serene and quiet atmosphere. It was late, very late to be honest but work parties can get pretty crazy after all. Regardless it had been fun, tiresome but fun.

Originally you were going to go home and crawl under the duvet for about ten years if possible.

But you missed Donatello.

You couldn’t drag him anywhere and while sometimes you wish you could it wasn’t best to dwell on it. Heels in hand you patted through the living room area and into his lab where you could hear him speaking. Judging by the time you figured he was doing his part time job. He had picked up the thing out of pure boredom and to actually have some income for future supplies. It was child’s play for him, with nothing too above his skill set. Usually you sat and listened to the colorful array of clients and had a good laugh while doing so.

Most times you liked just hearing him giving the step by steps of things, or how he remotely accessed the person’s computer to fix the issue himself. His distaste over viruses and worms while he angrily typed away. So what? You were hella in love, the mutant terrapin had slithered his way into your heart.

But you kinda wanted him to slide in your pants, or well dress.

You entered his room with sly smile, Donnie was bouncing a little ball while he spoke in his best ‘customer service voice’ as you liked to joke about. He gave you a tired smile, bouncing the ball towards you which you caught. “Well sir, if you in the near future receive an email stating some prince from Asia is trying to protect his rubies it’s adviced that you don’t give out your social security number” He briefly muted the microphone. “Hey beautiful” He greeted you as you wrapped your arms around his waist.

“That ruby scam is honestly my favorite of this week” Came your muffled words, Donnie chuckled and rubbed your back. “He’s called me every name under the sun, brb” He clicked a button on his headset and kept up his polite tone. Reluctantly you let go of him and placed the little bouncy ball on his desk. “Can you help me with the zipper?” You whispered at him to which he happily obliged.

Giving a set of easy to follow steps to the nasty customer, Donnie gripped the delicate zipper and gently pulled it down. His gaze followed each patch of soft skin being reveleaed to him, which he couldn’t help himself but touch. You felt the palm of his hand on the middle of your back, the sweet gentle caress made you roll your neck until it popped a few times. As he continued his argument with the customer he let both hands wander, kneading the flesh presented to him, much to your delight.

“I’m more than happy to remove those viruses but the rest has to be solved with your bank, in the mean time I’ll email you a forum to fill out about the incident while I work on this” Donnie’s voice could be described as a verbal version of an eye roll, so much sass he possessed. Again he muted the microphone and sighed. “Men truly are stupid,” He gripped the straps of your dress and pushed them aside and down your body they slid. “I’m glad that even as a large mutant man you can accept that” The two of you chuckled.

You felt his lips on your exposed back and caught the small inhale he took of your scent. “Where’s your bra?” He peaked over your shoulder and made a soft surprise sound. “The lines ruin the dress so I put these nifty little cups on” You grabbed his mug of coffee and took a generous sip.

Then you felt him tap your rear.

“You gotta learn to share your coffee, babe” You smirked at his disapproving noise, he could be quite greedy with his caffeinated beverages. “I share, but I’ve seen you chug my coffee before” He sat back down on his swivel chair and shamelessly ogled you.

Donnie’s hand landed on your rear, palm caressing the left cleft of your cheek. “Shifts would be a lot more exciting if this is what I had to look at all night” He gripped the flesh, enjoying the silky material of your underwear. Looking over your shoulder you raised an eyebrow at him, not minding in the very least his ministrations.

Not even when he let go only to smack your bottom with a little more force, enough to make you grip the table for support. “Jerk, you get handsy when you’re running on three hours of sleep” You placed your palms on the table, leaning a somewhat forward and giving him a better view of your bottom. “Five actually, managed a nap” He pulled your underwear down to your surprise and leaned in to give the reddened flesh a soft kiss.

Then he gave a series of much harder taps, nothing to brash for it to be loud but enough to make you bite your lip. “You haven’t clocked out, you know?” You wiggled your rear to tease him, enjoying the happy content sigh that escaped him. “I’m supposedly fixing the mess this guy has on his computer,” He gave your rear two more hits before gripping the burning flesh. “But this is way more exciting” The outline of his hand on your bottom made him smile, job well done in his mind.

He pulled you back onto his lap, back to his plastron and used his own legs to keep yours spread. That delightfully merciless hand of his gripped your core, the warmth making him hungrier with anticipation. “Don,” You sighed his name enjoying the lazy outline he mapped out around your core.

Then he switched the mic back on, your eyes widened. He greeted a new customer with the usual name of the company and his name just as he spread your lips. “I’m sorry to hear you’re having difficulties with your new system ma’am” You wiggled in his grasp trying to glare at him but could only muffle your sounds when said digit dipped inside. Your back arched as he thrusted indolently, enjoying each squirm and quiet gasp. “I’m goin to walk you through some basic steps if it’s alright with you” He spoke dangerously close to your ear, tongue sneaking out to lick the shell of your ear.

You almost moaned right next to the mic of his headset.

It was torturous.

The call was reaching the half hour mark from what you could see on his computer and by now he was fully rubbing your clit. You prayed the wet noises couldn’t be heard through the call. Each swipe made your toes curl, sweat had already broken out on your skin and you had bitten down on the inside of your cheek with enough force for it to throb with pain. You knew you wouldn’t last long, and the feeling of Donnie’s hard on against your rear was driving you crazy. You smacked his thigh signaling him you weren’t going to make it.

“Ma’am Im going to be placing you on a brief hold, thank you and my apologies” He muted the mic quickly and grinned when your body went stiff. “OhFUCK!” You gave a loud and lengthy shakey moan as Donnie continued to rub you through your orgasm. He pressed his lips against your cheek, tapping your sensitive nub, clearly entertained with each tremble you gave. “I think you’re the happiest customer I’ve ever had while working” You chuckled breathless, smacking his leg again.

“God you’re such a jerk! They could’ve heard me” Your cheeks flushed embarrassed. “Half the fun if you ask me” He whispered it across your skin as you felt him shove his sweats away then lift you by your thighs. Your eyes nearly bugged out, he couldn’t possibly...?

He entered you, the position making it a tight fit and causing the two of you to moan.

“Can’t make a peep, darling” He thrusted lazily upwards. “Don- theresOH- don’t switch back to the ca-“ You covered your mouth when he unmuted the call.

“Sorry for the delay ma’am, as I was explaining” He cleared his throat, feeling the effects but recuperating quickly. His hips moved lazily, hands gripping the backs of your knees firmly. You caught a glimpse of his blissed out face through the monitor, god you bit down on your bottom lip and moved with him.

You were in for a long shift.

[skellebonez]

So, I have a weird request: Mei, Jin and Yin with 28 and 50. I fell victim of my own au and now I just want these three to be friends and cause mayhem.

Ok, you both sent me these SO CLOSE TOGETHER BY CHANCE that I had to combine them. This is the most prompts I have shoved into one fill and I consider this an achievement.

You call this luck? No, this is all skill./That cute act is all just a lie./I was not expecting that to work as well as it did./Ok, who gave out my number? I have 12 missed calls, 4 voicemails, and 75 unread texts!/No, listen, hear me out. All we need is some really good disguises.

“Ok, who gave out my number?” Mei asked as she slammed the door to Jin and Yin’s workshop open with a harsh kick that sent it slamming into the wall, a scowl on her face. She wasn’t particularly angry, just annoyed, but they didn’t have to know that yet. “I have 12 missed calls, 4 voicemails, and 75 unread texts! I had to change my number because before I cleared the first set of notifications I had over 80 each!”

“How do you know it was us?” Jin asked defensively from his spot sitting on the nearest table, and Mei allowed her face to fall into an deadpan expression, raising just one eyebrow.”... ok, fair, it was Yin.”

“Hey!” Yin yelped as he rolled out on a skateboard from... whatever in the world it was he was working on. “Why are you calling me out like this? I thought you were my brother!”

Mei watched at the two got up from where they sat, getting in each other’s faces and arguing about “brotherly betrayal” and if she was being honest Mei almost thought that this would have been nearly enough to make up for her needing to change her number for the first time in years. Almost. It was when Jin yelled “That cute act is all just a lie!” and Yin gasped in offense that she decided she had enough amusement for the moment and whistled as loud as she could to get the twin’s attention.

“Alright gentlemen, may I ask why my phone number was leaked in the first place?” Mei asked slowly, gaze firmly centered on Yin.

“... In my defense, I didn’t post it publicly,” Yin said as he held up his hands in surrender. “I only gave it to one person and they said they were a friend of yours because I needed some tech they had and they said it was payment for the favor!”

“One person made 82 calls?” Jin asked with a look of disbelief and horror on his face. “Who has time for 82 phone calls?”

“They’re all spam bot calls and texts, it isn- Wait, go back a second,” Mei held up a hand, gesturing for Yin to speak again. “Who said they were a friend of mine?”

“A streamer guy, Bo-something?”

“BoFullStrike,” Mei said with venom lacing her words, a low growl sounding in the depths of her check. “Of course it was Bo, he’s been trying to get back at me for beating him at his best game for like 2 weeks now since our crossover stream like the sore loser that he is. He’s been trying to spam my email this entire time, apparently spam is how he gets revenge.”

“Is his name actually Bo?” Yin asked in curiosity.

“No, it’s just his screen name, but lets not get distracted!” Mei smirked, walking up to the twins and putting her arms around their necks in a half hug each. “To make up for ruining my phone, and because you like me, you two are going to help me get back at him so he will just leave me in peace.”

“Uh,” Jin and Yin looked at each other, then back at Mei and Jin continued. “Is, you know... Macaque gonna have to know about this? We’re already kind of in deep water with him as it is and-”

“No, listen, hear me out. All we need is some really good disguises.”

“And why am I being pulled into this?” Jin asked with a sigh.

“You two are a package deal.”

~

Mei had to admit, when the demon bros had someone who knew how to make a plan for them? They were scary good at what they could do. All three of their technological knowledge combined was a terrifying force to behold, and Mei could see they weren’t too shabby with designing things they weren’t tech itself either. The three of them, both Jin and Yin in their human forms, were disguised so well that Mei almost didn’t recognize her own reflection in her wig and make up. It was perfect!

What was also perfect was the absolute chaos erupting in the internet cafe they had tracked BoFullStrike down to. He really should take internet security a little more seriously, it was far too easy...

Just as it was far too easy to remote connect to the computer he was using to practice his gaming in on an alt account and completely mess with all of his controls and download some nasty nasty viruses onto it from the other side of the building. They weren’t anything too hard for the cafe to get rid of, and it wasn’t anything that would affect the entire computer network, but it was just enough to make the cafe owner pissed off enough to kick him out (that would have made her feel bad if she didn’t know Bo also lived on his own in his own house on his parent’s dime and only came here so no one would track his ISP to alt accounts, and that there were 20 other such cafes in the city for him to move to).

Now the other streamer was angrily stomping out of the building passing by the chaos trio and would have not even been aware of their involvement had Jin and Yin not yanked him half a foot into the (admittedly brightly lit and easy to see into) alleyway beside the cafe.

“Hey, BO,” Mei said with a smirk as the twins held an arm each for extra security. Like bouncers. Or very strange bodyguards she didn’t actually need. “Still angry I beat you in front of all your followers huh?”

“You!” Bo, or whatever his actual name was Mei didn’t care enough about this to remember that, said after a moment of confusion when he recognized her voice. “You humiliated me on purpose! Just like last time!”

“This time yes, that time? No, you humiliated yourself behind the scenes when you started trying to sign me up for car insurance scams,” Mei said with a sigh. “Look, guy, just leave me alone. No one except you cares that I beat you in a few matches at a game I was already on the leader boards for.”

“You just got lucky!” He scoffed, pulling his arms and tensing with a fearful look as he realized he couldn’t move.

“You call this luck? No, this is all skill,” Mei said with a smirk as she held up her phone and Bo’s face went white as a sheet at the information scrolling on the screen. “Yeah, you should probably invest in something. Like a firewall. A VPN. Literally anything. This was not hard to find at all. Dude, I kinda feel bad that you’re so bad at tech security so I am doing you a favor, just leave me alone and I will literally give you a high tech security system and never speak to you again.”

“Or... what?” Bo said with a shake. “You’ll post all my info online?”

“Hell no!” Mei winced with a disgusted look, shaking her head. “You’re being an asshole, but I’m not evil! I was just gonna sign you up for spam too until you took my offer. Ew.”

“Oh... well... I guess... sure?” The man looked mostly confused more than anything else, shrugging as much as he could before Jin and Yin let him go. “That’s... really it?”

“Yeah, dude, I didn’t want that much revenge just a little bit. Like I said, stop signing me up for spam and I will never speak to you ever again.”

“... OK,” Bo said, and yelped as Mei tossed some kind of USB drive at him. “Uh-”

“You have everything you need in there,” Mei said with a shrug, waving him off.

Bo shrugged again, still looking incredibly confused as he ran off, muttering something like “ok maybe that was kind of badass I guess” under his breathe.

“I was not expecting that to work as well as it did,” Mei said with a laugh, holding up both hands to either side. “Good job, my dudes, you are off the hook.”

Both twin’s palms met her own in very satisfying high fives, and all three thought they should totally team up for stuff like this more often.

(The next day BoFullStrike sent her an actual email with a proper apology.)

[eccentric-nucleus]

here's another like thousand words about super supportive

right, the thing is that there have been a lot of mentions that the artonans are still very shady, going from the subtle to the extremely overt. what is up with u-type affixations? there's the implication that picking a bad first skill might permanently hamstring your authority development! we still don't really know what the deal is with chaos, and it's been implied that no human really knows what the deal is with chaos. who was really behind the matadero attack, b/c it seems like the guy on the submerged boat was swayed into committing the attack precisely when the boat went into the system's dead zone, which implies whoever swayed him knew exactly how to keep things out of sight of the system. so there's all these things that are rife for elaboration that could totally upend our understanding of the dynamics at play. but...

okay so like the narrative makes a big deal about that one object shaper whose name alden can't remember, right? ha ha they're just a background character. except there are also like ten other students in his class that have literally never been mentioned at all, except in team totals (grouped as sets of like, "+5 other As" in the gym class notes). likewise with alden's psychologist appointments: he has apparently been meeting with psychologists his whole life and especially now after returning to earth and the matadero attack, but these are all just kinda offhand mentions that we never see on-screen. now, with the mind healer, some of alden's ptsd stuff has come into narrative focus, but there are all these bits of worldbuilding like, "this is some worldbuilding that was never really fully elaborated on and is only there in the margins as vague gestures towards a more fleshed-out world that the author never got around to writing b/c it's not really critical for the story they're telling," and that makes me wonder how many of the things above that i see as looming conflicts were actually written more as miscellaneous worldbuilding and minor threads that have been dropped.

at this point i'm really hoping that the secondary and tertiary are huge dicks, b/c that's kind of the only thing that would really make the political position of the knights make sense? the primary and quaternary are so nice and sweet and honorable, and alis-art'h explicitly had a bit about how she's not involved in politics (getting the thegund mission specifically because it was long and remote and she hates dealing with the grand council). but like. these are the people who have the most effective power in the entire known universe. it doesn't seem like they take orders from anybody? that's the whole point of the english 'general' translation. but it's very unclear how they fit into the artonan political landscape.

stu-art'h was even like 'it would be very easy for me to unlock your system and give you better skill choice options', and it's like, okay so if that doesn't even rise to the level of a special knight-only privilege, are we supposed to read that statement as saying that the situation for avowed being what it is on earth is solely b/c no interested knight (or wizard!!) has decided to instruct humans on how the system and skills actually work? or that the knights don't really care about resource worlds as such? or that instruction of a single human about skill construction would be political, but it might be overlooked for the son of the primary? b/c that's sure how i read that bit.

like there's definitely a reading of the story where alden is this hugely traumatized kid who's only getting special information from the system b/c it knows he's now too terrified of system collapse to try telling anybody that the system is kind of shady -- e.g., jeffy's level-ups almost certainly being timed to reinforce that doing jobs and obeying orders gets him power-ups, even though he presumably had some amount of that authority growth already banked for a while prior to the disaster. like, why not tell somebody that you know what a level is? b/c it sure seems like that's something humans in general don't know. but! i don't actually think that's an angle the story is going to take.

or like, something else that has been weighing on me: max is explicitly mentioned as being from south africa. the artonans landed in 1960, prior to the dissolution of aparthied. presumably the fact that 1. max is black, 2. he's from south africa, and 3. he still ended up on anesidora is intended to signify that yes, south africa got rid of aparthied. there's some gesturing that maybe racism itself doesn't exist any more? alden mentions it when they're watching the old video about alien contact, and boe is immediately like "but there's still anti-avowed sentiment", but he notably doesn't say "sure but there is still racism". but we actually have very little knowledge of what the entire world's political and social organization is. there's a part where a superhero blithely mentions that most non-supervillian work people do on earth has to do with guarding things and quelling riots, and it's like, oh are you gonna elaborate on that?? no???

all that is to say, i've found super supportive to be compelling in part b/c it does keep gesturing at all these subjects in a way that's way more involved than the usual "there's a system and it gives people superpowers" setup you usually see in litrpg/progression fantasy stories. (like, i mentioned it in that other post, but the thing where wordchains interact differently with the system compared to all other kinds of magic being because... the special-interest group supporting the chainer class has ideosyncratic ideas about how magic ought to be used is great imo. like oh yeah this is all a constructed system, with limitations due to politics. stuff like that is how i want to see the 'the system was made by a series of compromises where everybody/nobody really got what they wanted' worldbuilding fleshed out) but i have absolutely no clue if it's actually gonna hit all the bits of the story that caught my attention. almost certainly some of the above is just misc. minor worldbuilding details my brain just latched on to that will never really be followed up on meaningfully in the text.

(i have kinda been thinking about the story from a perspective 20 years in the future, where alden is some superhero-knight on multiversal adventures, and boe is probably an infamous supervillian involved with superhumans at large, and also jeremy is just some guy with a job who was childhood friends with both of them. but who knows if the story will ever really get there.)

re: gayness, i'm pretty sure alden is canonically asexual, on account of everything with natalie. him completely not understanding why the super-secret privacy booths all come with a giant bed was pretty funny. but wow that does not stop him from having a lot of intense emotionally-fraught interactions with other guys. boe, lute, stu-art'h... actually i kinda suspect this might be the kind of story when alden and stu end up as queerplatonic lifepartners. i'm not even sure what that would mean, but their friendship is so emotionally charged and is clearly being built up towards something. in the original draft of the sleepover chapter alden interrupts stu-art'h by saying 'hush' and it's like, wowwww okay i see why you changed that b/c that makes the entire scene read way more romantically

(there's also a lot of speculation about boe maybe having a one-sided crush on alden? i could see it. there's, again, like one mention of boe going 'natalie is hot' and then nothing else, & it's hard to say if that's just the author not wanting to dip into relationship and romance stuff or what.)

anyway i ship max/jeffy that would be a very cute pairing. max would be the tsunedere.

the only story in the progression fantasy/litrpg/etc space that i've really enjoyed and kept up with has been super supportive, tho that's with the caveat that the first sixty chapters are basically a self-contained novel that is pretty good, and then the next uh hundred and thirty chapters spend a lot of time defusing a lot of the setup. it's not just the slice-of-life stuff that predominates, it's the part where the story slowly picks away at the setup

like so, this is gonna have spoilers for the first chunk of super supportive. i've already made a post about this before i think but this will be post #2 i guess.

so super supportive introduces the state of the world: it's like 2040, and aliens contacted earth in the 1960s and brought with them all sorts of cool technology, intergalactic communication, and also the system. magic is real and aliens can do it and now with the system some people will get selected to have superpowers and get to go on quests to alien planets and get fabulous quest rewards (further superhero powers!) for doing so! wow everybody wants to be a superhero because it's so cool!

oh yeah so the technical term for the system is 'the interdimensional warriors contract', and earth is tithed to submit people to it. the aliens get to choose who. and if they choose you, you can't refuse. you also can't really refuse a summons. one of the most popular, to the aliens, classes is the one where you're just a personal assistant. classes with actual superpowers also sometimes get summoned away on some quest and are never heard from again. sometimes they get death notifications, months or years later, but sometimes not. you don't get to pick your class either; those get assigned to you, though you can swap classes with somebody else during a brief provisional period after you've been selected but before your superpowers come due. also, humans have no clue how to really use the system; the aliens make a big point of not telling anybody anything about how it's put together or even things like "these skills are good and these other skills suck". part of the 'appeal' stat involves mental changes to make you more sociable and agreeable.

they do pay superheroes for their work. but they can't really say no to a job, or control what they do. one early example of 'tasks superheroes get summoned to do' is 'help evacuate a dangerous research station' 'but only our contracted employees; explicitly do not allow the other staff who have not contracted to our corporation to leave'.

also, a major character early on is: literally an imprisoned slave who's chained to his desk and has a geas over him such that he's not able to do things like 'express preferences'. some alien wizard just dropped him down at the embassy and he's been stuck working there for decades now. i'm sure it's fine.

so as it goes through the early chapters and these things get revealed there's a lot of tension between how everybody in-universe thinks about this ("superheroes cool") and the out-of-universe information, in which it's clear this is something more like indentured labor. there's a lot of ominous weight about the power differential there. this is a world where magic is real, the universe runs on magic, aliens can use magic, but humans can't. and the magical system aliens have put in place on earth is one that is explicitly gamified with pretty tokens and prebuilt skills and nothing even approaching, like, information on how it works.

so that's interesting! and then the first 'book' ends and the main character gets back to earth and it seems like there's a lot of backing-off of those implications. all the aliens we meet are super cool and nice and honorable. despite some gesturing at various factions of aliens, there hasn't really been a lot of followthrough on, like, the alien politics involved or how they're set up. so i'm still reading because i think it definitely still has promise, & it's written in a fairly engaging fashion, but all of this is basically contingent on it actually having a good payoff for all the buildup, & i'm not really sure that the author really cares about that stuff specifically.

[dragon-kazansky]

Dangerous | Helmut Zemo

AU! Race car driver Zemo 😎

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Masterlist]

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 3

The next morning, after breakfast at the hotel, a call was made up to your room. It wasn't until you put the phone down that you realised you didn't have a way to contact Zemo. It was good he knew where you were staying. You would have to make sure to get his number later.

It felt strange to think about that. If he had your number, wouldn't that be like taking the next step? Were you getting carried away with this? Probably.

You couldn't ignore the fact you liked Zemo.

You never expected to develop a crush on a racing driver. It seemed like he liked you too, but you didn't want to get too carried away. This might very end up being a one time thing.

You make your way down to the lobby. Zemo is waiting for you. He looked so extra, but so stylish. A fur collared jacket, driving gloves, sunglasses on his head.

He turned when he heard you approach. His face lit up with a smile as you got closer to him.

"Good morning."

"Morning. You're looking smart today," you look him up and down, not so subtly checking him out. So much for trying to feel in that crush.

"Thought I would make an impression on you."

"You already did."

Zemo smiles at that. There was a proud feeling in knowing he had you hooked. Perhaps this would lead somewhere, but he would see. He didn't want to rush things and ruin any chances he may have with you.

He wouldn't do that.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Zemo leads you outside where another fabulous car is parked. You look at it, top to bottom. He can tell by your expression you're impressed.

"Just how many cars do you have?"

"Many. I could show you my collection if you like," he says, walking over to the car and opening the door for you.

You chuckle and climb in.

Zemo takes his sun glasses and puts them on as he gets into the drivers seat. He grins at you as he sets off.

You roll the window down and let the wind mess up your hair, wanting to feel that free feeling you got that first time. Even just sitting next to Zemo brought about all kinds of exciting feelings.

Zemo turned on the radio as he drove through the streets. There was a little drive to get to the garage his race car had been taken to. This gave him some time to bask in your company again.

He could get used to having you around all the time. In fact, he would love that.

Zemo considered himself more of a solo racer. Tony Stark always had fans hanging about, 'dates' in his stand watching him race. Zemo only ever had his pit crew waiting for him at the end of a race.

It was beautiful out. Even more so when you excited the town and got onto more open roads. You had no idea where he was taking you exactly, but you couldn't complain. if he got to see sights like this every day, that was amazing.

You glanced at him. He was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, in time to the music playing on the radio. He looked so relaxed and in his element.

Feeling your gaze on him, he turned to you with a grin.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. You just... look so at home."

He laughs, the sound joyous and wonderful. It makes your heart skip a beat.

"I live in the drivers seat."

You laugh with him.

"What do you say we speed this up? Just like last time," he peers at you over his shades.

"Alright. Thrill me."

You didn't need to say any more. He pushed his foot down on the pedal and you laughed as the car sped up. With such ease, the car glided down the road. Not another soul in sight as the scenery became a blur, just like that first day.

No rules. No restrictions. No Stark.

Just two people enjoying each others company on the open road. What more could a man ask for?

In the distance, you spot a building. That had to be where he was taking you.

"Where is this?"

"It's an old air strip. Hasn't been used in decades. I come here to drive often. I asked my team to bring the car here so we can take a look at it, thought you may also appreciate the area."

You smile.

"It's stunning. There's nothing else around for miles."

Knowing these roads like the back of his hand, he speeds up further, gliding along the rear of the way with ease. Your laughter just fuels him to go faster.

You reach the air strip in no time. He slows down on the approach and pulls up right outside the hanger. He gets out first and opens your door for you. You chuckle as you take his hand and climb out.

Even with your hair all wind struck, you look stunning to him. He won't tell you that though.

You both head inside.

There it is. His race car. He exterior looks pretty good, just scuffed from where Stark's car collided with it, but nothing too serious. The crew were busy working away on it as you both approached.

"Who's this?" A voice asks from your right.

"This is Y/N, my new friend," Zemo says, introducing you. "Y/N, this is Sam. He is very good with cars."

"Nice to meet you." You shake his hand.

"Likewise."

"What's the damage?" Zemo walks over to his car.

"The engine gave out. That's all."

"That's all? It cost me a win," Zemo narrows his gaze at Sam.

"It could have been a lot worse. We'll have it fixed in no time."

"Good. I need to win the next one, and the other two to beat Stark. He cannot win them all." Zemo stands upright after looking over his vehicle.

"Trust us, we're on it."

Zemo doesn't give him any more of a response and returns to your side.

"Want to look around a little?"

"Yes please."

He places an arm around your shoulder and guides you out of the hanger. You're blushing from his touch. It almost felt like you were made to fit against him like this.

You both go to stand near the car.

"How come you have such a big rivalry with Tony Stark?" You ask, gazing up at him.

"He doesn't like the idea that I'm better than him."

"Humble."

"Honest. Stark is an engineer and a genius. He can build a car from scratch. I know the ins and outs of cars. I know how to make them better, how to improve them. My cars are better than his, and he is threatened by it."

"Sounds petty."

Zemo shrugs. He is not ashamed to admit he is better than Stark. His whole vendetta is to prove it. He just doesn't have many chances left to do so.

"Aren't you worried?"

"No," he looks you in the eye, "I'm certain."

"Does nothing scare you?"

"Not yet."

There is no expression on his face. You have no idea what's going on inside that head of his. You knew he knew what he was doing. This was his job, his passion. That didn't mean the risks didn't apply to him.

For some reason, Stark's words came to mind. "He's dangerous." Not just on the track, he had said.

Was he?

Who was this man standing before you? His personal information was almost non existent online. Other than his racing background, there was nothing about him. You didn't even know where he was from. His accent suggested not from around here.

Did you dare ask?

No. You didn't want to. No matter how curious you were...

"Would you like me to drive you along the strip?" He asked, nodding across the field where you could see the straight road.

"Yes. Don't go easy on me."

"Wouldn't dream of it," he grins.

You both get into the car and he wastes no time in driving over to the strip. This car doesn't even remotely come close to his racing car, but he'd be damned if he didn't leave you thrilled after this.

He lines up perfectly. You hold on tight and smile at him.

Wheels screeching, whole body jerking, and nothing but the wind blowing through the window. With all his skill and precision, the car speeds up in handled ease. This man knows what he's doing.

You trust him with your life.

You wanted to thank your friend for bringing you to the races that day. If she hadn't, what would you be doing now? Working? Sitting at home? Studying?

Nothing nearly as amazing as this.

Zemo brought life into your world, and you didn't want it to end.

At the end of the runway, he turns the car with ease, though the power causes you to lean toward him as he turns the vehicle around. He almost reaches out for your hand, but focuses his attention on his driving. Back up you go.

He glances at you from the corner of his eye.

Could it be that there was one thing he wanted more than winning against Stark?

No, he didn't think so.

The car comes to a screeching halt at the end of the runway. Heaven knows how his tyres are doing.

You grin at him once the car stops.

"I'll never get tired of that."

He chuckles.

"That pleases me to hear."

Your phone rings. You apologise as you pick it up and answer it, disappointed it was ruining your fun.

"Hello?"

"Y/N? Hey, how was the race yesterday?" It was your friend.

"Oh, uh. It was good." You lied. It hadn't ended as you had hoped.

"Great. What time does your train get in tomorrow? I have something super exciting to share with you."

"About 2 o'clock I think."

"I'll be there to pick you up. Oh my gosh, you will not believe what's happened. I can barely contain myself. I'll speak to you soon."

She hangs up.

You stare at your phone, confused. She sounded super excited, whatever that was about.

"Problem?"

"Uh, no. Just my friend calling. She's going to pick me up from the train station tomorrow."

"I see. It's a shame you do not live locally. I would get to see you every day," he smiles.

You're blushing again.

"You'd get board of me really quickly," you say, tucking your phone away again.

"I doubt that."

"With your lifestyle? Definitely."

"I may live an exciting life, but you are a rare treasure any man would be lucky enough to have in his life."

"Are you flirting with me?" You ask, eyeing him suspiciously.

"That depends, is it working?"

You laugh.

"It might be."

"Then yes," he says, grinning like a fool.

You both sit there and laugh.

"Allow me to drop you off back at the hotel."

"I'd like that."

Much slower, he drives back to the hanger to alert the team he is leaving. They wave as you both leave.

The ride back is a lot more gentle, more casual. The radio is turned on, but the volume is low. Zemo is just basking in your presence.

He can't admit that he will miss you once you're gone.

The ride is over much sooner than he would have liked. Once again, you both sit there together.

You pull out your phone.

"Can I have your number?" You ask, biting the bullet.

He grins smugly.

"Already making a move?"

"Shush. Can I?"

He nods, taking your phone and putting his number into your contacts. You smile as you take it back, pretending his gloved fingers didn't brush against yours.

"I expect to hear from you," he says.

"I promise."

You go to get out, but he stops you by grabbing your arm lightly. You look at him, a little confused.

"Remember what I said."

"About what?" You ask.

"Come to the races, and I'll take you in a date."

You bite your lip.

"I haven't forgotten."

"Good."

He stays there until you've gone inside, out of sight. His phone suddenly feels heavy in his pocket, waiting for a text or call.

He was in deep, he just didn't know it yet.

He thinks of you as he drives off.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406 @wilder-fangirl @nectav @whovianayesha @thesuitkovian @cathrin2405 @deathtothepatriarchy @belle82devart @dxrksxul06 @killeromanoff @alex-the-nb @latenightartist-author @hb8301 @goddessofmischief03 @xxidontwikeitxx @themeanestlittlewitch

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I can’t write anything remotely specific about what’s happened at the co-op job I’m doing. It’s working at an autism centre, and confidentiality rules are strict, for good reason. I say lots of shit on this blog that I wouldn’t say if it weren’t anonymous, but I say stuff about myself. I know I’m taking a certain amount of risk with my own personal information, putting an amount of it on the internet that is calculated to be enough for this blog to be a nice therapeutic outlet, but hopefully not so much that anyone who knows me ever comes across it. I know it’s very unlikely that anyone would be able to identify me on here, but there’s never zero risk, and I can’t take that risk with other people’s confidential information about what happens in their medical setting. Take note, people I’ve only heard about from stories and have never actually checked to see if they exist but they probably do exist – nurses who film Tik-Toks at work.

However, I would like to say that it is really fucking sucks to be in a room full of stim toys and not be allowed to use any of them. Whole room geared toward supports for kids who have autistic needs, and I’m sitting there trying desperately not to look or sound or seem too autistic because I’m hoping these people will give me a real job someday. I spent yesterday constantly checking every part of my body to make sure I was keeping it still and doing something normal with my gaze, while watching clients in a playground of items that were made for people who have difficulty with this. I have an evaluation sheet to be filled out by my supervisor in which one of the criteria on which she judges me is my ability to present professionally and speak with a natural tone of voice. So basically... to be allowed to work with autistic people, you have to not appear autistic. It’s a strange situation.

Also, I would just like to say, in my Autistic Opinion, I hate that the use of functioning labels has stopped being okay. There are many contexts when those labels aren’t appropriate, and there are many ways in which they’ve been used badly, and that should stop. But sometimes, it’s useful to have a quick way to explain that I can understand language, speak clearly enough to be understood, use the bathroom and get dressed without help, read, and write, and those skills make it much easier for me to navigate the world than it is for people who can’t do those things. But then, the use of functioning labels can make it too easy for me to think of myself as a completely different type of autistic person than the clients I see who can’t do a variety of those things, and I have to remind myself that that isn’t always the case. When I was a kid, I was higher functioning than a lot of the clients at the centre where I work, but not by nearly as much and you’d think based on who I am now. I can watch a kid walk around a therapy room talking to themselves in nonsensical language and not taking notice of anyone or anything around them, and the use of functioning labels can make me think I don’t relate to that, but then I remember that’s exactly what I used to do as a kid and that’s why I had teachers telling my parents I’d never graduate school through the regular system. I had some things change as I got older, but if I try, I can remember how it felt.

When I got diagnosed I was 14 and already much “higher functioning” for my age than I’d been in elementary or middle school, and it was called Asperger’s Syndrome when they applied it to me. Asperger’s Syndrome is no longer an official condition; they took it out of the DSM a few years ago and it all got rolled into autism spectrum disorder, so officially now I’m just high-functioning autistic, rather than officially being Asperger’s, since no one’s officially Asperger’s anymore. Also, the term Asperger’s has Nazi connections and it’s probably best to just stop using it. But I’ll sometimes still call myself Asperger’s just because if I call myself autistic, people are confused because I can talk and read and write and use the bathroom and dress myself unassisted, so how can I be autistic? I sometimes say “mildly autistic”, which has the same problematic connotations as “high functioning”, but it does work as something to make people understand.

Anyway, those are some thoughts. Can’t get more specific than that, but those are some thoughts I have as I work with people who are on other parts of the spectrum than I am. It’s a weird experience. But I’m glad it’s the field I chose to study. I hope I can do good things in it.

[silkling]

And Birdie Makes Three

Earth was a magnet for anything Cybertronian. Wheeljack would swear by that for the rest of his life. He’d only intended to visit Earth for a few days. Help Team Prime kick some ‘Con tailpipe, catch up with Bulkhead, have fun messing with the Doc-bot. Yet, here he was, roped into some sort of recon/retrieval mission. This wasn’t exactly his idea of a fun time. But, he had offered to help when he’d come to this little mudball, so he supposed he couldn’t complain too much.

Apparently, Ratchet had caught a Cybertronian signal headed for some remote Earth desert. From what he’d been able to tell, the good doctor had said that the signal was strange. It wasn’t the type of signal that would come off of a proper ship, so it was something else, something smaller. Personally, Wheeljack didn’t care what it was. All he cared about was the second part of the report: that the signal indicated another bot was on board whatever vessel was set to crash planet-side.

So, Prime had sent Bulkhead and the little scout to check it out, and asked Wheeljack if he’d be up for going along. How could he have said no? Besides, if it turned out to be a fight then of course he’d want to be there! Unfortunately for him, a fight was not to be had. The ground bridge had malfunctioned and dropped them a few miles off, and they’d had to drive the rest of the way to the predicted crash site. When they’d finally arrived, the vessel, which Wheeljack could now see was an escape pod, had already crashed. Apparently, whoever had been inside had also already been greeted by ‘Cons, because the terrain around the pod spoke of a rather violent battle.

The sand was soaked with energon, and the ground was strewn with vehicon and eradicon bodies. A large, thin piece of metal from the pod had been ripped off and used as a makeshift weapon; Wheeljack could see how, whoever had been in that pod, they had used to to gouge and hack at several of the dead drones. A few paces away, the offending piece of metal was stuck through an eradicon’s face. Beyond that, many of the bodies looked like they’d been killed by some sort of blaster or gun. Many more looked like something had ripped at their throats and left them to bleed out. A few were missing their helms altogether. Nearby, what had once been a large rock formation was now rubble, and the largest surviving boulder had deep gouge marks in the stone. On a few of the corpses, the edges of the escape pod, and the boulder, Wheeljack could see faint blue paint transfers.

“Primus,” Bulkhead said. “Whoever was in that pod, they sure did a lot of damage. Think the ‘Cons got them?”

Wheeljack crossed his arms, optics narrowed. Something about this was….eerily familiar. But from where? “Maybe.” he said after a moment. “Doubt it though.”

“Yeah? How do you figure that?”

“Dunno.” He shrugged. “Just a feeling.”

“Uh, guys?” Bumblebee beeped. “Hate to break this up, but you know what this means, right?”

Bulkhead blinked. “What do you mean, Bee?”

“If the ‘Cons came to get this bot, and the bot reacted like this to them,” he answered, gesturing at the scene around them. “Then whoever was in that pod is probably one of ours.”

Wheeljack perked up. “You known, kid, I think you’re right.” he grinned. Oh, now this was going to be fun.

He wondered who it was. The Terror Twins? Maybe, but the pod looked like it’d be cramped for two. Jazz? This was definitely within his ability to pull off, but something this violent wasn’t really his style. Ironhide? He definitely had the skill set to pull off carnage like this, and he would actually commit such a level of violence if he was pushed far enough. Pits, it could be a lot of mechs. It could even be one of the femmes! There was no real way to tell. Wheeljack did want to meet them and shake their hand, though. This level of chaos and destruction was honestly impressive.

“Alright.” Bulkhead spoke up. “So it’s one of ours. But the question now is, where are they?”

Oh, he just had to ruin to mood with his pertinent questions, didn’t he?

“There’s no way to tell.” Bumblebee beeped. “We just have to wait and see if more clues pop up, I guess. I hope we find them soon, though.”

That, Wheeljack could agree with.

——————————

Bulkhead was distracted. Miko knew the other humans couldn’t pick up on it, but Bulk was her best friend and she knew him. So when she said he was distracted, she meant it. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t like he wasn’t doing his job, or was getting in trouble in the field because of his distraction, but it was definitely affecting his life at base. He was so…quiet. Ever since that mission in the desert, where they’d come back without the mystery bot, he hadn’t been able to focus on anything he did with her. Miko was starting to get very annoyed with it, actually.

Which meant it was time to get to the root of the problem. And, luckily for her, no one was in the secondary chamber of the base today, which she and Bulkhead had taken over to use to practice their music when they got kicked out of the main room. Which meant now was the perfect time to brooch the subject with her giant metal pal.

“Hey, Bulk!”

He startled at her call, blue eyes darting down to fix on her. “Miko? Do you need something?”

“Yeah!” she put her hands on her hips. “You’ve been distracted ever since the desert. What’s the deal, big guy?”

He blinked slowly, then sighed. “That obvious?”

“Just to me!” she said cheerily, clambering up to perch on his knee. “So, what’s the deal? Spill!”

“It’s something Wheeljack said. At crash site, there was, uh, a lot of carnage.” he said. She could tell he was picking his words carefully to avoid going into too much detail. That was no fun! “And, well, Jackie mentioned some of the damage looked familiar, but he couldn’t figure out from where. And he’s right. It was familiar, but I just can’t put my finger on it.”

“Well,” Miko kicked her legs. “You guys said it was probably a ‘Bot, right?” At his nod, she continued. “Then maybe it’s familiar cause it’s the damage caused by a specific ‘Bot?”

Bulkhead made a noise of frustration. “We kind of figured that. But that’s the problem. We just don’t know who.”

“So, you know they’re a ‘Bot, and the damage they did was really familiar to you and Wheeljack, but you can’t figure out which ‘Bot and from where the damage is familiar?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it.”

“Hmmm…” Miko tapped her chin. “Yeah, okay. Now I see why you’re distracted.”

He chuckled, lightly tapping her head with a finger. “Thanks anyway, Miko.”

“Yeah yeah, no problem.” she said, distracted herself now. Now she was lost in thought, and over the same conundrum as Bulkhead!

Just who was this mystery Autobot?

——————————

The day had started out peaceful. Frankly, Wheeljack had been bored. Which was why he was quite thrilled with where it had gone, in the end. Ratchet had found an energon mine, and Optimus had asked him, Bulkhead, and Arcee to go check it out and collect what they could. They’d come, and they’d managed to get quite a bit of energon piled up by the time the action had started.

There has been the sound of a ground bridge, and then Breakdown had stepped out from it, followed by a gaggle of vehicons and eradicons. And then, of course, the clash began. Breakdown had gone straight for Bulkhead, and that left Wheeljack and Arcee to take on the drones. For a while, he’d let his processor blank, his frame moving on reflexes alone as he struck down an ‘Con who came into range of his blades. He didn’t notice anything around him as he fought, his swords cutting through armor and limbs and throats alike.

When he next looked up, Bulkhead had backed Breakdown into a corner. So much so that the former Wrecker had been forced to call for a ground bridge and retreat. But, of course, these were Decepticons they were dealing with, so nothing could ever be easy. Less than a minute after Breakdown had been forced to flee, another ground bridge opened and spilled out a horde of vehicons and eradicons.

“Scrap.” Wheeljack hissed.

This wasn’t good. True, the drones are easy to take down, but in large enough numbers they started to wear a mech down. They’d probably get out of this fine, but it’d be cutting it close. Arcee gave a fierce cry as she dove back into the fray, and Wheeljack exchanged a nod with Bulkhead before both Wreckers joined her. Working together, they managed to thin the horde down until there were few left.

And that, of course, was when things went wrong. Arcee had gotten too close to the edge of a nearby cliff edge, and one lucky shot her her stumbling back and over. Bulkhead reacted quickly, lunging forward and shooting out his wrecking ball for his teammate to catch. Wheeljack, meanwhile, roared and lunged forward to take out the rest of the vehicons so they couldn’t offline his friend while the big green lug was distracted.

Too late, he realized he’d forgotten about the eradicons in flight above him. In fact, he didn’t even realize they’d been there until he heard the sound of blades rapidly slicing through the air and the snarl of a powerful engine. Then there was the sound of blaster fire, and eradicons dropped to the ground around him.

Before he could look up or turn around, Wheeljack heard the sound of a transformation sequence above him, and then a heavy metal form dropped to the earth at his back. He whirled around, bringing his blades to bare, ready to slice the helm off whatever ‘Con had tried get the drop on him.

He froze, his swords mere micrometers from slicing into the throat of the offending bot, and then he slid his battle mask aside and grinned fiercely.

“Well well well, look what the turbo-fox dragged in!”

——————————

Will was not having a good day. The higher ups were getting uppity about the ‘Bots. About Wheeljack in particular, actually. They kept throwing a fit that the Wrecker wasn’t a permanent addition to Team Prime, and that he came and left as he pleased. Apparently, their displeasure was rooted in the fact that having another Autobot on the team more permanently might make them end their war a little earlier. The pencil pushers up in Washington just didn’t understand that matters were a little more complicated than that. Of course, they also refused to listen when he tried to explain that he, nor they, had any say over how the alien military handled its individual soldiers. And when Wheeljack kept leaving, they kept getting angry. Then they took that irritation out on him. Hence, he wasn’t having a good day.

He had come down to the Autobot’s base to talk to Prime about some of their more recent missions. Including the one in the desert. None of the bots had actually cleaned up the mess left behind there, and some humans had recently stumbled across it. It had been….fun, to explain that away. So, he was here to remind Prime to be a bit more careful about leaving messes on battlefields where humans might stumble across it. Will had also been ordered to try and convince Wheeljack to stay, though he wasn’t holding his breath on that one.

As he leaned against the railing, talking with Prime, he heard noise from Ratchet’s direction. The medic was talking to someone, probably one of the bots who were out, and then he was opening the ground bridge. Arcee, Bulkhead, and Wheeljack came through, carrying cubes of energon, and they set it all in the corner. When Ratchet went to turn off the ground bridge, Bulkhead stopped him.

“Just a second, Ratchet. We have a guest coming in.” he said, seeming cheerful.

“A guest?” Prime spoke up, frowning.

“Yep!” Wheeljack grinned. “He’s one of ours! It’s the ‘Bot from the escape pods!” he gestured at the ground bridge, and all eyes turned to it.

Will heard the metallic sound of Cybertronian footsteps, and then a form appeared, silhouetted against the light of the ground bridge. The bot walked forward, and as the ground bridge powered off Will got his first good look at Earth’s newest Autobot.

“Optimus, everyone, this is Whirl.” Bulkhead said, grinning. “He’s a Wrecker, like me and Jackie.”

Whirl certainly looked like he’d fit in as an elite soldier. The blue Autobot was tall, with digitigrade legs, and pincer-like claws in place of hands. His arms were a little odd, and Will was quick to realize he seemed to have some sort of rotors in each arm. His most startling feature, however, was his head. He had a cylindrical head, and no face to speak of. Instead, he had a singular, large golden eye set into the center of his head. He also had thin, sharp protrusions coming off his back, which Will swore looked like helicopter blades. Hell, even the bot’s feet were strange, looking like someone had bound the front claws of a bird’s talons and left the back claw alone.

For a second, the Autobot base was silent. Then Nakadai broke it.

“Another Wrecker?” she gasped, racing down the stairs of the entertainment nook and running up to the new bot. “That’s so cool! You look awesome! It’s really great to meet another bot, especially another Wrecker like Bulk and Wheeljack! Your claws look sharp, I bet you can do a lot of damage with them! Tell me, how many ‘Cons have you taken on with them?” she asked, excited.

Whirl startled, blinking down at her. “Oh, hey.” he spoke. “You’re one of those little organics. I didn’t know you guys kept some of the locals around.” he said, directing the last statement at Bulkhead.

“We don’t.” the green bot replied. “These guys are…a special case.”

Whirl shrugged, then turned back to the excited human at his feet. “Fine by me.” he chirped, crouching down. “Hiya!” he greeted Nakadai. “You’re very energetic! I like that!”

Nakadai cackled, clearly thrilled that the large bot was matching her energy. “I’m Miko!” she thrust her hand out.

Whirl blinked again, and then his eye was curving into a thin arch that Will swore was his approximation of a smile. “Oooh, I’ve seen this with you lot!” God, the new guy sounded giddy. “It’s how you say hello!”

Whirl held out his own hand, letting Nakadai grasp the tip of a single claw in hand before waving his hand up and down slightly. She laughed, her whole body pulled along with the movement, and let go once he stopped. Once she was stable on her feet, he reached out and very carefully tapped the tip of one claw against the top of her head.

“I like you!” he announced. “Any tiny organic brave enough to run up to the Whirlybird gets an okay in my book!”

Wheeljack laughed, walking over to his former teammate as the blue bot stood back up. He slapped Whirl’s back with a grin. “Well that’s good, because the humans are kinda a fixture here, so if you wanna stay you gotta get used to them!”

Whirl responded to the slap by punching his claws against Wheeljack’s shoulder. “Rough as always, Wheelie?” he said, the edge of a growl under his voice.

“No!” Bulkhead cut in before Wheeljack could respond. “No brawls in here.” he scolded.

Both the other bots pouted. Or, well, Will thought Whirl was pouting. It was hard to tell. “You’re no fun.” they said together.

Off to the side, Prime made a sound that Will knew to be the Cybertronian equivalent of clearing his throat. “Whirl.”

Immediately, that odd head snapped in his direction. Prime continued. “I am pleased that you have safely found your way to us. I must ask, however. How did you come to find yourself on Earth?”

“Is that what this fun little mudball is called?” Whirl made an odd clicking noise. “Neat.”

“Whirl.” Prime prompted again.

“Right.” he said. “See, I was actually a few star systems over. Had my own ship, ‘cept I crashed it. Managed to make it on my own, but then the ‘Cons found me. Was running low on fuel and not in the best shape, so they managed to nab me. Took me to this big ship, I think they were planning on sending me to old Megatron cause of our history.” Here, he waved his hand and clicked his claws in a gesture Will could only call dismissive. “Managed to get out, and I hijacked an escape pod. Next thing I know, I’m crashing on this planet and waking up to a ‘Con welcome party! I dealt with them, of course, and then went to figure out where I was! I scanned a new alt-mode, then lay low and tried to figure out the whole deal with Cybertronians here. Then I stumbled on Bulky and Wheelie, and here I am!” he finished, throwing his arms up partway as if in celebration.

Prime blinked, clearly trying to sort through the information. “…you have history with Megatron?”

“Unfortunately! Megzy hates me! I’m positive he wants to see me die very painfully!”

Will really didn’t understand how he could say that so cheerfully.

“I…see.” Prime clearly did not. Nonetheless, he continued. “You have had a long journey to come here, Whirl. I regret to inform you that Megatron is also on this planet, but if you would care to stay and join the fight then my team will welcome you.”

Whirl blinked, lifting a claw to tap at his chin. Did he have a chin? Hell if Will knew.

“Megzy’s here, eh? Well, it’s not like I was trying to avoid him anyway.” Whirl shrugged, then his eye curved in that grinning arch again. “What the Pit, I’m in! I’d be happy to join your little crew, Prime!” he chirped, his arm coming up to snap a salute.

Except as he did, it caused the armor plates under his arm to shift and reveal a wound leaking energon near his armpit. The blue of the energon was similar enough to his paint that it hadn’t been noticed in the excitement, but now as a drop of it fell to the ground, the wound was definitely noticed.

Ratchet in particular was honed in on it. “You’re injured?” he demanded, taking a step towards the new arrival. “Why didn’t you say anything? Let me take a look at that, I can repair it.” he grunted.

Whirl stepped away from the medic, his eye narrowing. “You’re a medic, yeah? I’ve heard a lot about the famous Ratchet.”

“Yes, I’m a medic.” Ratchet snapped. “Now stay still and let me look at you!” He made to get closer.

“No need, Doc! Just point me in the direction of the medical stuff and I can take care of it! I’ve treated myself plenty of times before!” Whirl said cheerily.

“Oh no you will not!” Ratchet growled, reaching for the other bot.

Whirl made an odd noise then, one that made every bot in the base go still and stare at him. His engine seemed to snarl, and his armor shifted and flared, making him look significantly larger. The rotors in his arms spun to life, a high pitched humming filling the silence. His eye focused on Ratchet, the protrusions at his back twitching.

Slowly, Ratchet backed off, raising his hands and taking a few steps away. He pointed down the hall to where the makeshift medbay had been set up. “Down that way.” he said calmly.

After a beat of silence, Whirl relaxed, the harsh glow of his eye fading as he nodded and trotted off. Once he was gone, Will spoke up.

“What in the name of Sam Hill was that?”

“A threat display.” Arcee supplied helpfully.

“Threat display?! Are you saying he threatened Ratchet? Prime, did you just invite a bot onto your team who’s a danger to the people here?” Will demanded.

“No!” Bulkhead yelped. “It’s not like that! Ratchet pushed too far.”

“How?!”

“I did.” Ratchet agreed. “He was clearly uncomfortable around me. I should have backed off when he first gave signs of discomfort.”

“He still threatened you!” Will yelled.

“I would like to know why as well, Bulkhead.” Prime said seriously.

“Whirl’s not a danger to anyone here.” Wheeljack said, sounding dead serious.

“Then what was that?” Wil demanded.

“Whirl…doesn’t really like medics.” Bulkhead said, sounding hesitant. “I think he might even have a fear of ‘em.”

“What? Why?”

Wheeljack snorted. “You all saw him. Why do you think?”

Will didn’t know what that meant. But there was silence for a moment, and it seemed like the other bots did know what that meant.

“Oh.” Ratchet was quiet. “That’s….yes. I should have predicted that.” he sounded almost faint.

“I see.” Prime murmured, tone somber.

“Oh, Pits. I didn’t even think of that.” Arcee seemed deeply uncomfortable.

In the corner, Bumblebee beeped something and shifted, refusing to look at anyone.

Will exchanged a look with the kids, who were clearly as confused as he was. Then he turned back to the bots. “Prime! What’s the deal?”

“It is not my place to say, Agent Fowler.” he said grimly. “I do apologize for causing confusion, but that information is Whirl’s alone to share.”

“But he’s not a threat?” Will said carefully. He didn’t understand what was going on, but he was smart. He could read between the lines. Whatever Whirl’s deal with medics was, it was related to some sort of trauma. He wouldn’t pry, he knew better.

“No, he is not.”

“Then I guess I should go inform the powers that be that there’s a new bot in town.” Will sighed, stepping back and heading to the elevator.

Oh, this was going to be fun to explain to higher ups, he could tell already.

—————————-

Whirl found the makeshift medbay easily. After that, it didn’t take him long to weld the gash under his arm. He used a rag to mop up the mess of energon on his armor, then tossed it aside and looked around. He couldn’t help but feel out of place. He’d seen the rest of Prime’s team. They were all Normal, were all Good and Unbroken. Whirl…wasn’t. He was Wrong, was Shattered and Twisted and Bad. But he had to keep going, didn’t he? It wasn’t like there was much else he could do. Not with the War raging on.

The copter bot sighed, his optic shuttering as he sagged where he stood. He was tired, okay? He’d been fighting for so long. He’d left the Aerial Corps because he hadn’t wanted to fight, he hadn’t wanted his life to be defined by violence. He’d been Good and Whole, back then. Back when he’d still had his hands and his shop and his watches and clocks. Back before the Senate stole it all from him.

The memory of his loss burned through him, white-hot and raging. His engine snarled, and before he realized what he was doing he raked his claws along the wall, drawing deep gouges into the metal. He stared at the damage, his engine growling with pent up aggression. He had to fight. It was all he knew. Ever since he’d lost his watches, all he’d known was violence, violence, and more violence. Now, it was the only language he knew, the only thing he understood. He lived and breathed violence, and with every passing day the storm raging in his helm grew worse.

Whirl wasn’t sane. He was well aware of that fact. But what was he supposed to do about it? There were no psychologists, not among the Autobots or Decepticons. Even if there were, he wouldn’t go. His thoughts were his own. He wasn’t about to bare his spark to some soft little processor-doctor in the vain hope it might help. It wouldn’t. He knew that. Medics, of the psychiatric kind or otherwise, never wanted to help him. Even when they had to treat him to save his life, it was always the bare minimum he needed before they kicked him out of their medbay. Medics weren’t good. Not to him, never for him.

He stared at the damaged wall for another beat, then turned his helm away and walked out of the room. He stopped, surprised when his exit was met with the sight of Bulkhead. Immediately, he forced his EM field to project cheer and humor, forcing down the exhaustion and melancholy that he knew had been wrapped in it before. No one could know. Everyone already knew ol’ Whirlybird was insane and prone to fits of violence. He wouldn’t let them know how bad off his processor actually was. It would make his end goal for the end of the War easier to get away with. He didn’t want to be helped. “Help” was usually just another excuse other bots used to hurt him anyway.

“Bulky!” Whirl chirped. “Fancy meeting you here! To what do I owe the pleasure of your company? Don’t tell me the Prime asked you to escort little ol’ me?”

Bulkhead seemed mildly confused but mostly amused. “You’re still the same Whirl, aren’t you?” he grinned. “No, but Jackie and I got one of the spare rooms here set up for you. It’s only got a berth in it right now, but if you’re staying on Team Prime you’ll need your own space.”

Whirl blinked, cocking his helm. His winglets fluttered at his back. “Awe!” he cooed. “You shouldn’t have! I’m flattered!”

He chuckled, then gestured with one large hand. “This way. I’ll show you were it is. Optimus said you can rest and regain your strength for the rest of the day, but tomorrow he’d like to talk to you and explain our situation here.”

Whirl set off to follow the big green bot as he walked off. “Fine by me! It’ll be nice to recharge in a berth again! Lemme tell ya, the ground on this mudball isn’t comfortable at all!” he complained. “I made the mistake of recharging in some of that organic plant matter once, and I’m still picking out organic bits from my seams!”

Bulkhead chuckled, grinning over his shoulder. “Yeah, Earth can be pretty messy sometimes. It’s a pretty neat planet, though. I think you’ll like it, especially the humans!”

“Well, if the rest of the tinies are anything like that Miko one, then I probably will!”

“Miko’s a class all on her own.” Primus bless him, Bulkhead seemed proud of that. “She’s my ward. Optimus assigned her and the other two children to three of us when they accidentally discovered our secret.”

“Awe, you’re like a proud creator. That’s adorable, Bulky.”

“Wha-no!” he sputtered, field flaring with embarrassment. “It’s not like that! I just take care of her while she’s here! She’s a good kid.”

“You’re not helping your case, buddy.”

Bulkhead groaned, coming to a stop in front of a door. “Oh, just shut it, Whirl.” Despite the harsh words, there was no true anger in his voice. “Anyway, this is your room. I’m going to go join the others. You’re free to do what you want.” he said, then spun on his heel and hurried off, likely to escape further teasing.

Whirl stared after him in amusement, then opened the door and slipped in, letting it slide shut behind him. As Bulkhead had said, there was only a berth in the room, but he could add to it as time went on. Besides, right now he only needed the berth anyway. He padded over to it, and let himself fall face-first into it. He kicked his legs and flopped around to get his whole body into the berth, then rolled and twisted until he’d gotten himself wrapped in the mesh blanket that had been left on it.

He was tired. He’d been traveling for a long time without proper recharge. He could deal with the things to come in the morning. Right now, he just wanted rest. Whirl sighed, optic slipping shut as he relaxed. In the silence of the room, he let his processor wander, slipping from thought to thought until recharge took him.

And as day turned to night and and rest of the base bedded down, Whirl slept on, dreaming dreams of all the things he had been, and all the things he could be.

———————————————————————————————————

So, I don’t really have an excuse for this. I like Whirl. He was fun in Cyberverse, and when I realized he existed in other media I got excited. Full disclosure, I didn’t read the comics. But! I do know a bit about him from other sources. So this was my interpretation of Alligned Continuity Whirl. Idk if I’ll continue this. I might, it was all very self-indulgent.

But, anyway, let me know what you think! I hope y’all liked it. Whirl is fun to write. He’s going to be a horrible influence on Miko, just know that in advance.

Until next time, folks!

[onlydylanobrien]

Dylan O’Brien is on the run. Quite literally.

It’s a crisp October afternoon on the Toronto set of Flashback and the former Teen Wolf star has just arrived. O’Brien gives director Christopher MacBride a hug before gearing up for the physical sequence on the horizon. As the cameras begin to roll, the 29-year-old actor sprints up the staircase of an abandoned warehouse. Again, and again, and again. As he repeats the scene, O’Brien lightheartedly voices his concerns about holding his head up during his mad dash. “I’m untrained as an actor,” he says to MacBride.

“That was just me joking about things in movies that you don’t think about, like trying to run upstairs and you are not watching your feet because you have to keep your head up for the camera,” O’Brien tells SYFY WIRE as he plunks down on a chair in a remote corner of the building. Running at full tilt, while also ensuring that you’re making sure the camera can capture your performance, is a skill in and of itself, it turns out. “It’s hilarious because then you are tripping and you’re like, ‘Oh, this is not easy.' It’s one of those funny little things. This must be what they teach you in acting school.”

Landing in select theaters and VOD on June 4, Flashback — previously titled The Education of Fredrick Fitzell — follows Fredrick Fitzell, an ordinary guy on the cusp of his 30s. Locked in a corporate job, he must make some tough decisions regarding the next chapter of his life and career. To complicate matters, a chance encounter with a man from Fredrick’s past triggers disturbing memories of Cindy, a high school classmate who vanished. To unravel the mystery behind her disappearance, Fredrick turns to his old druggie buddies and the substance Mercury. Could a trippy bender unlock his repressed memories… or allow something more troubling to resurface?

Fredrick’s existential crisis immediately spoke to O’Brien. The New York City native previously suffered an accident, involving a stunt gone wrong, while filming his movie, The Maze Runner: The Death Cure. The incident left an injured O’Brien hospitalized, broken, and mulling whether to continue acting.

“The two things I had done the longest since I started acting were Teen Wolf and Maze Runner,” O’Brien says. “I had always had those homes and knew I would be moving on from those at some point. They happened in the same year, too. They both kind of ended. It was a new stage that I was going to be entering into. I wanted to take my time, for me personally, because I had been going nonstop since I was 18. I always believed that as an artist, the only thing you are inspired by is life and experience. You can’t be on set all the time. I was reading a lot and trying to figure out and feel what was right to do next. I wanted to be patient about that.

“I read this script and called my manager, ‘I absolutely love this!'" he adds. "It’s an incredibly well-written script and wildly unique. It’s completely out there, and yet, at the same time, it’s really structured and written by somebody who knows what they are doing. Beyond that, it felt like my world at the time. Something could not have fallen into my lap that I was more connected to.”

Although marketed as a psychological thriller, Flashback’s narrative is rooted in genre, with elements of horror and sci-fi. Reminiscent of Jacob’s Ladder, the story switches between past, present, and future versions of Fredrick. In addition, a horrifying creature, with a personal connection to Fredrick, haunts his visions. The monster serves as an interesting device used as a metaphor for motherhood and exploring the complexities with a parent.

“I love that instead of hammering home what his relationship was like with his mother in the script, it’s sort of a very important piece of the film that he’s losing his mother,” explains O’Brien. “You never really see how he feels about that, outside of what he is going through. The only way you do that is through this creature and through this hovering energy.”

Viewers will be treated to multiple Fredricks (nine, to be precise) on this deeply personal journey. There’s 17-year-old teen Fredrick, his present-day self, and an older version. O’Brien was impressed by the aging and de-aging process — enough that he admits to occasionally getting a little lost in time.

“Every day, I’m like, ‘Where the hell am I?’” he jokes.

“The makeup team has been doing an amazing job because it’s not an easy thing to do and you have to be subtle with it,” O’Brien says. “They will do things, like when I’m 30, it’s no makeup aside from enhancing my little wrinkles that I have, the natural things in my face and have a little scruff. Then, at 17, they are young-ing us up. They put makeup on us to make our skin look younger, our face look better. A little foundation smoothes everything out. We shave and try to cover up the shadow.

“I didn’t expect it to be so mentally and emotionally draining,” he continues. “I do feel spent at the end of so many days. It’s a lot of focus. Again, in this time crunch of 25 days, sometimes we are doing three big scenes of the entire arc of the film, three completely different stages of his life. I want the performance to be there. It’s difficult, but it’s such a fun challenge because it’s something I connect to, something I dearly care about and want to get right.”

O’Brien concludes, “It’s been nothing but a blast and a pleasure to have that challenge of exploring these subtly different nine versions of this guy and having traces of him still be there in each and every one.”

[wannabe-fic-writer]

All Over Again - Chapter 11

Summary: What was lost can be found. 

Warning: 18+ Smut, Language, Violence. 

Ch. 10

* * * * * *

Sweat builds with each second that passes. 

You wring your fingers together nervously as your leg bounces up and down. 

Calling a team meeting was the fastest way to get this done so here you sit, in the common room of the compound, waiting for everyone to show up. 

Just two weeks ago you’d come to the decision to move to National City with Lena. In the time that passed after that you spent three days there, mostly hanging with Lena but also visiting the DEO. You weren’t surprised to see Alex there, the woman being the director. While she hadn’t welcomed you with open arms, she was impressed with your initial interview(which was just her kicking your ass up and down the training room). After being assured you’d have a spot at the DEO by the Director herself, you came back to NYC. 

The team had yet to handle the enhanced individual situation but the moment you got back, or at least the day after, you all organized a mission to capture them. With the whole team’s collective strength and skill, you were successful in capturing the enhanced which you were glad for. It made this part all the more easy.

“Y/Ln what’s the reason for this meeting?” Steve asks, stepping around the couch with his arms crossed over his chest, a mask of strictly business written on his face. 

“I-I’d rather wait for the rest of the team before I say anything. Could you sit?” You gesture to the couch, ignoring how your hand shakes in nervousness. 

Steve clearly catches the involuntary action, eyebrow quirking in the slightest. He sits nonetheless. 

Much like Steve, everyone eyes you curiously or straight out asks what the point of the meeting is as they come in and you tell them to be patient. Until finally everyone is seated on the couches around you, all of their eyes trying to look through you to figure out what’s going on.

They’re the people you’ve grown to love and care for over the years. People you’d give your life for without question. Your family. And you’re about to leave them. 

E/c eyes land on familiar green ones. The two of you have yet to talk again, after the engagement situation and all. Admittedly you’d miss the hell out of her. Sure things haven’t been great the past couple years but that couldn’t write away all the good before that. She’d given you a love like no other for three years. She cherished and loved you and there was no denying that.

You then look over to the other set of green eyes. Ones that belonged to the young woman you’ve loved and will always love. You claim her as your best friend but she’s your sister, a blessing you hadn’t had before the Avengers. God, leaving her is going to be the hardest. Looking at her soft, reassuring expression, it’s already tearing you up inside.

“Um-” you clear your throat, hating the sting of fresh tears that starts in your eyes,“ I guess there’s no easy way to say this but I- I’m moving to National City.” 

. . .

. . . 

. . .

“No you’re not.” Natasha is the first to speak, voice hard with determination. That same emotion in her eyes. 

But the look you give her makes that slip away.

Steve frowns, sliding to the edge of the couch,“ why?”

You have to look away from Natasha. You can’t say why if you’re staring into those already hurt green eyes.“ My girlfriend lives in National City. I think it’d be best for our relationship and quite frankly myself if we were closer.”

That answer triggers a wave of mixed responses from everyone. For the most part they’re upset but some of them, Bucky and Bruce, are fairly calm about it all. Sam is damn near shouting at you, not understanding why long distance couldn’t continue to work since it had obviously been before. Steve can’t believe you’d give up saving people to go to National City and you can’t even tell him that that’s not what you’re doing since Natasha is mean mugging you and damn near spitting at you that you need to think on this more and it’d be stupid of you to just up and leave for a relationship that’s just begun. 

In their anger, no one notices the single tear that slides down your cheek, almost no one. Before you can swipe it away and pretend it’s not there, a gentle hand rests on your cheek and an equally soft thumb brushes it away. 

You already know who it belongs to and you can’t bring yourself to look at her. 

“Y/n,” Wanda’s quiet, honey like voice hits your ears.“ Is moving going to make you happy?” 

Out of all the things you’d expected her to say, that wasn’t it. It makes you look at her. 

She’s squatting in front of you, one hand resting on your knee and the other still on your cheek. The look in her eyes, though distorted by unshed tears, is pure and sincere. Your best friend/sister just wants you to be happy. To her, you deserve it more than anyone she’s ever known. She’s seen how happy Lena makes you and if going to be with her is going to further that she sure as hell isn’t going to stand in the way of that.

Nodding, you take a shaky breath,“ yeah it is”

“Then go and don’t feel bad for leaving.” Now she’s the one letting tears fall.“ Just promise to come visit.”

Both your hands cup her face to wipe the now quickly falling tears,“ you know I could never leave you for long.” The two of you, moving in near perfect harmony, wrap each other in a hug. 

Wanda’s arms loop around your neck, face pressed into your neck, as yours tightly wrap around her waist. 

“I’m gonna miss you so much Wan.” Your voice is a whisper against her neck.

The two of you remain in your embrace, completely forgetting the team around you. They all looked on, seeing you like that with Wanda makes them realize that as hard as this is for them it’s the same for you. You may be the one making the decision to move but that doesn’t mean you aren’t hurt by leaving them. 

Pulling away, Wanda grabs your hand. At this point she just needs to be close to you.

“When are you leaving?” Steve asks.

You take one more steadying breath,“ about a month from now. I want to get everything squared away here.” His eyebrow raises.“ If it’s okay with you I’d like to stay as a remote member of the team, I’d be more than happy to come help if need be but I’ll be working with the DEO in National City.”

Steve nods, already knowing of the organization, while the rest of the team waits for an explanation. 

“Department of Extranormal Operations.” 

“So you have everything set then?” Bucky asks.

You nod, a small smile playing on your lips,“ yeah. Job is set and I’ll be living with Lena. Plus it’s nice to already have friends there so-”

“You’re living with her?” All gazes more to Natasha.“ What if things don’t work out?”

Instead of getting angry with her, you take a deep breath in. She’s upset which you take into consideration before replying,“ well for one I’m hoping things do indeed work out and if they don’t I’m very capable of making it on my own if need be.”

Her eyes narrow at you and the second Bruce’s hand brushes her leg she shoots up and walks away. E/c eyes follow her as she leaves the common room and you look back at Bruce,“ you mind if I-”

“Sure sure.” He nods and gestures after her. 

Giving Wanda’s hand a gentle squeeze, you smile softly at her nod, and follow after the upset redhead. She can only be one of two places and when you check the first(the gym) and she’s not there, you head straight up to the roof. 

As expected you find her there. She’s sitting on the ledge, legs hanging over, as she plays with her fingers. For just a moment you allow myself to take in how beautiful she still is, especially with the sun accentuating the brown specks in her green eyes and her hair, unusually, in a ponytail. You look away before you can begin to feel guilty.

“Hey.” Your voice is deliberately soft as you sit beside her. 

When she looks over, you can feel her eyes bore into the side of your head.“ I knew when you told me that I wouldn’t lose you it wasn’t true bu-”

“I meant it when I said you wouldn’t lose me-”

“Yet you haven’t spoken to me since that day and now you’re leaving so how am I not losing you?”

“I’m not leaving forever Natasha. And I’m sorry we haven’t spoken but things have been insane between us and I don’t want it to be. I just got frustrated with the engagement and your need for an answer.” 

“I’m sorry okay I didn’t want to frustrate you.” Seeing tears glisten in her eyes breaks your heart.“ If you’re leaving because of me- because of how I’ve been acting then don’t okay I can-” 

Hating that the usually strong woman is so deeply affected by this, you wrap an arm around her without thought, and pull her into your side. She’s quick to bring her arms around your middle and hug you back. 

The deep sigh you give makes her tighten her hold a bit.“ Tasha I promise you I’m not leaving because of you. Like I’ve said, things haven’t been perfect with us but that doesn’t mean I’d run from it. I just want to be closer to Lena.”

Those words make Natasha pull back, her hands running up her face and over her hair.“ Is this real- with her?” Honestly the woman is trying her damndest to come to terms with you, quite obviously, loving someone else.  

You nod, making sure to look into her eyes so she knows how serious you are,“ it is. I truly love her and I know she feels the same. It’s why this move is so important. We’re going to have issues and the distance would just make that worse. And I don’t want the distance to be the problem either.”

“I understand.” She nods, her bottom lip settling between her teeth as she looks away.“ Just be careful I- I don’t want to see you get hurt again.” 

“Trust me I will be.”

Silence creeps in and you both stay up there for a little longer. It’s the most untense the atmosphere has ever been between yourself and Natasha in years and finally, after all this time around her, you can smile. Natasha, upon seeing the expression, does so herself. 

But around the compound moments never last. This particular one is cut short at the quiet, almost inaudible, sound of a jet. 

Looking ahead reveals the all too familiar red and gold color metal suit. Iron Man hovering up and over onto the roof. His thrusters stop and he power poses as he hits the ground. His helmet disassembles from his face to reveal the glare he’s fixed at you.

Taken aback by it, you lean away just a little,“ hey Tony.”

“You’re leaving. I don’t recall giving you permission to do so.” You open your mouth to speak but he continues,“ as an original member of the team and a long time friend I hereby forbid from leaving. Glad that’s settled.” He shrugs as if to end the conversation.

With raised eyebrows, you reply,“ Tony, it’s best for me to go to National City, and it’s best for-”

“Miss Luthor. Yes I’m aware. Lena’s a lucky lady but we have dibs so. . .” His eyes scan your face before flicking away to some random sight.

Sighing, you step toward the man and rest a hand on the nanotech suit. You aren’t at all surprised by his reaction, especially after the way everyone else reacted. This is his way of telling you he’s going to miss you without saying anything.“ Tony I promise I’m gonna visit. And I’ll be on call for whenever I’m needed.”

“Then you might as well just not leave.” 

A pointed look from you and Tony knows to not fight it any further. Not that he really thought his words would make you stay. 

“Don’t think you’re escaping without a party.” He says as the helmet forms again.“ I’ll send you the details, make sure the schedule’s clear.” And with that he shoots off into the sky. 

Over the next few weeks you find yourself more busy than you have been. For the majority of the beginning you focus on dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s of your business with the Avengers, filing mission reports, working on weapons that could be needed, and finishing missions that were previously assigned. 

The very second that was all done, you went straight to Wanda. Your first night with the young woman, you didn’t sleep a wink, even though it was a sleepover. 

Between the endless movies, random dance/singing sessions, pigging out on food and sweets, and just talking to each other about any and everything, you’d ended up spending four days with her and only her. After which you promptly, and rightfully, dedicated time to your entire team. 

Your impending departure drew you closer to every member of the team, yes even Bruce who, while not your best friend or anything, proved to be a truly cool guy. The time spent with him pushed you over that line you’d been hesitant to cross. He’s what Natasha needs and what she wants. Acknowledging that she’s going to be more than fine with you gone makes this whole thing that bit easier.  

Before you know it, your last month is up.

“Hey, you ready?” 

Smoothing your hands down the button up you’d chosen for tonight, you raise your gaze to Wanda through the mirror and smile.“ Is anyone ever ready for Tony’s parties?” You refrain from bringing up that it’ll be your last for a while.

Your best friend shakes her head,“ no never.” She makes you chuckle.

Easily looping her arm around yours, she walks you both out of your now empty room and down the halls to the common room.

With Tony having planned this whole thing, you weren’t sure what to expect but what you find doesn’t surprise you. 

Across the front windows are big golden balloons spelling out “Later Traitor” and you nod, suppressing a laugh. More gold and silver balloons and streamers decorate the place. The table is covered with food and the bar is just barely decorated but still in theme. 

“Ever one for tact mister Stark.” You joke as you approach him. 

His head rises, brown eyes locking with yours,“ I wouldn’t be me if I weren’t honest.” The man hands his drink over to Pepper,“ I’ll need daily reports of your time in NC,” the billionaire says, leaving no room for a rebuttal as he adds,“ and if you need anything at all let me know.” With that he’s pulling you into a hug. 

Admittedly it’s been a long while since you’ve hugged Tony and you missed it. It wasn’t much of a common occurrence but for him to now show his care for you through the action warms your heart. 

Gentle pats to each other's backs make you pull away. You exchange a few words with Pepper who’s as sweet as she’s always been, making you promise to visit often, before hugging and then heading to the bar. 

Much like every party you’d been to here, your eyes are met with the sight of an incredibly familiar redhead. Her hair is down, curls falling over her shoulders in complement to the fitting black dress she sports. 

“Fancy seeing you here.” You instantly tease, leaning against the bartop.

Green eyes land on you, a large amount of restraint used to not let them linger your form,“ I figured if anyone would be serving you drinks tonight it should be me.” Red lips curl into a little smirk.

Head tilting ever so slightly as you smile a bit, you nod,“ than I’ll have the usual miss Romanoff.”

As she makes your drink, you’re approached by a number of people: Rhodey, Carol, Steve, Bucky, etc. Everyone makes mention of seeing you soon, wishing you luck, and promising to not be strangers. You’re hugged more now than you’ve ever been.

A coaster is placed right beside your arm, your usual sat on top in a glass.“ Enjoying all the attention Y/Ln?”

“In every way I’ll allow myself to yes.” You answer cryptically, knowing Natasha understands.

Martini glass raised to her lips, she takes a sip and maintains eye contact,“ if you need to step away feel free to find me,” another smirk,“ or if you need another drink.”

Walking away with her statement lingering in the air, Natasha ensures she doesn’t look back at you.

You chuckle softly, a slight shake of your head your way of accepting her small flirtatious comment. It’s Natasha, you expect nothing less. 

Over the next few hours, surrounded by the people you’ve spent almost half your life with, stories are shared, jokes are told, and more memories are made. By the time you take Natasha up on her offer to step away, your stomach and face hurts from laughing and smiling seemingly too much. 

The redhead eyes you while walking up the stairs,“ you’re not gonna die on me on the way up are you?” She teases about your rapid breaths and slightly flushed face. 

“Are you implying you wouldn’t try to save me?” You quirk a brow.

The so-so tilt of her head makes your jaw drop and she laughs at you,“ you know I’d stop at nothing to ensure your safety Y/n.” 

Her words make you smile softly and you goodnaturedly bump your shoulder against hers,“ ditto Romanoff.” 

Your time on the roof with her is spent in scattered silence. Every so often one of you brings up a memory or some random topic. Reconnecting with her feels really good and it’s a shared sentiment, made known as the two of you turn to head back inside.

“Hey uh,” she reaches out, grabbing your hand and stopping you from walking further,“ I- I’m really going to miss you.” 

Eyes softening, you think nothing of pulling her into a hug. Her arms wrap around your middle and yours take place around her shoulders. For the first time in years, Natsha’s head rests against your chest, ear pressed to your heartbeat. 

“I’m gonna miss you too Tash.” Giving her a good squeeze, you pull back, still holding her shoulders,“ you make sure I get a wedding invite.”

Smiling softly, she nods, and hugs you once more. 

After that things seemed to move faster than you’d wished. You say goodbye to everyone who’d come to see you off, grabbed the things you packed to take with you on your flight, and climbed onto the quinjet. 

Wanda had insisted she be with you until she absolutely had to leave your side, which is why Sam offered to fly. The man now pilots the jet as you sit beside your best friend in the back. 

Her body presses into your side, arms wrapped securely around you as you reciprocate her cuddle. 

“I’m moving, not dying.” You joke lightly even though your emotions match hers exactly.

She sighs and snuggles closer as if that’s possible,“ I know but this is different than before. It’s permanent. No more random sleepovers and throwing popcorn at Bucky during movie nights. I won’t be able to have your breakfast in the morning or be able to train with you just to get distracted halfway through.”

The sigh you now give is just like hers,“ I mean, we’ll still be able to do that stuff, just not as frequently as we used to. I promise I’ll visit often.”

Your promise lingers in the air until you’re flying into National City. The closer the jet gets to the ground the more visible the awaiting black sedan. It pulls a smile to your face when you land and see the gorgeous woman waiting at the front of the car, her gaze clearly locked on the jet. 

As the doors open and the jet sits idly, Sam gets up to help carry your bags and you stay back to have one more moment with Wanda.

“Call me when you guys get back home, kay?” You give the younger woman a pointed look and she nods.“ I told you I’d always be there for you and that won’t change cause I’m moving.”

She nods again,“ I know, I know.” Then pulls you into a tight hug, face buried against your chest like Natasha’s had hours ago.

“I love you Wan.” You whisper against her hair. Wanda replies with the same sentiment and a tight squeeze before stepping away. 

From her you give Sam a quick hug, jokingly telling him not to waste the imbued bullets you’d left for him, and then back step as they climb back into the jet. 

Reaching Lena’s side, the woman wastes no time slipping her hand into yours as you watch the jet take off. 

It’s quiet for a moment, then Lena asks,“ you okay?”

You turn to face her and smile brightly,“ I am yeah.” Stepping closer, you rest your forehead against hers,“ I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Her voice is just as quiet is yours and she draws closer to kiss you passionately. 

Having her lips against yours after a month sends a swirling feeling straight to your stomach and you sigh into the kiss. 

“Let’s get home shall we?” 

A simple nod later and you’re climbing into the car and pulling away from the private airstrip. The whole drive to Lena’s apartment, you damn near feel the excitement radiating off of her. From the way her hand squeezes yours to the taps of her fingers against the steering wheel and the little smile that seems permanently on her lips. Admittedly it makes you just as excited, seeing how clearly important it is to her that you’re here and moving in just makes your heart flutter. 

Just when you think she can’t get any cuter, the instant you’re in the apartment a brilliant smile is on both your faces.

The usually calm and collected CEO takes you around the place in an adorably giddy mood, showing you all that she’d changed to insure you are comfortable moving in. She’d cleared off spaces on her bookshelves for you, converted one of her guest rooms to a mini lab/office just for you, and what she seemed most excited about, having cleared space in her closet and had a new dresser brought in for your clothes, plus making sure there was room for your things in the master bathroom. 

Her words seemed to escape her faster than the Flash as she walked you through the entire place and showed you everything. You’d spent more time looking at her beautiful face, green eyes lighting up like stars, than you did actually paying attention to the tour of your new home. But you’ll have plenty of time to learn the place so it doesn’t matter.

Your welcome doesn’t stop there either. Once you both have unpacked your essentials, Lena has dinner, the usual takeout, and champagne waiting for you at the table. As you eat and indulge in more than a few glasses, you express your appreciation for all that she’d done and you both share in your excitement about this whole thing.

Laughter and smiles continue as you share about your little quirks and pet peeves when it comes to living with someone. There weren’t many and truthfully most of them were shared so you didn’t think this would end in flames. 

All that excitement leads to pure nervousness as you both realize how tired you are. In the rush of it all, neither of you really gave thought to the fact that you’d be sharing a bed tonight. It seems as though you both try to procrastinate a bit, taking longer than needed to wash the dishes and bring in the last of your bags and having showers that go just a little too long. 

By the time you're both ready, Lena is biting her lip nervously as you stand side by side staring at the large king size bed. 

Silence sits far too long for your liking, resulting in a soft chuckle from you. 

“Can we admit that we’re being a bit childish here?” You ask, looking over at her green orbs. 

Seeing the light in your e/c ones and hearing your teasing tone make her laugh a little,“ yeah I guess we are.”

But when she doesn’t move you figure it’s on you, so furthering the childishness, you jump onto the bed. Bouncing back until you’re resting against the headboard, you pull the covers back and pat the other side of the mattress while looking at Lena.

“Let’s not lose sleep because we’re being awkward.” 

At your words, she shakes her head and climbs into the very space you’d just patted. After you’re both comfortable under the cloud-like comforter, Lena presses a single button on the remote on her side table and the lights go out. 

Another button push has the curtains drawing closed, the room going dark, aside from the slivers of moonlight.

It takes a couple hesitant twists and turns for you to find a position that's just right, only to realize that in a bed beside the woman you love, this position(facing the windows away from her) isn’t at all how you wish to sleep.

With a short inhale, you shift once more, turning around to face Lena who you find staring up at the ceiling. Subconsciously you bite your lip. It’s not lost on you how cliche it is to say that she looks breathtaking in the moonlight but you can’t possibly ignore it.

The white rays sneak through her curtains casting this incredibly angelic glow on to her skin. You’re so lost in her that you don’t even notice when she turns to look at you, that is until you look back up to her eyes and find that green you’ve grown to love staring right back.

“Am I being creepy?” You whisper into the silence inciting a quiet giggle from the woman. 

She shakes her head,“ no you’re not.” Her eyes search your eyes and the cutest little frown and pout covers her face,“ what’s wrong?” Whatever she found made her ask. 

“I don’t know. Nothing’s really wrong it’s just-” You pause to think of what to say and how to say it. Lena’s soft eyes remind you of how honest you can be with her, free of judgment, which leads to you blabbing what’s running through your head.“ I don’t want to make you uncomfortable but I can’t help but want to hold you or your hand at least. And I can’t just roll over and do that cause what if you don’t like to be held or you aren’t ready for-”

Your girlfriend, amidst your rambling, doesn't withhold her smile. She’s seen the confidence you hold while speaking to investors or members of “high ranking society”, she’s seen the incredibly sweet you that’s portrayed in your dealing with her friends and Wanda, and she’s obviously seen the nerdy side of you that could convert alien engine energy into clean reusable energy. 

Each side of you she’d fallen in love with. And now she has the privilege of seeing this, slightly flustered and still partly dorky side, and falling in love all over again. 

Mid rant, Lena scoots closer, runs her gentle fingers up your arm to cup your neck, and kisses you. The soft plump muscles melt against yours making you sigh in pure euphoria. 

“I was talking too much huh?” You ask once having pulled away. 

A chuckle falls against your lips from hers,“ not necessarily. I just found your rambling cute.” Heat rushes to your face at her admission.“ And for the record, I would love it if you held me.”

“Yeah?”

She nods and smiles softly before turning over, grabbing your arm, and lying it over her waist. 

You take her consent and encouragement to scoot closer so as to press against her. Lena sighs happily at the soft warm breaths that fan her neck and wiggles ever closer, not that it’s possible. 

It’s right there with your arms around her body that you wonder why you’d had any doubts to begin with and it’s in your arms that Lena sees how perfect this truly is. 

* * * * * * 

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