#And one of them (studying biology) is fucking ruining my health and the other (going to mrtal concerts) i can barely ever do bc of the 1st

[cripplecryptid]

I am absolutely losing it. LOSING it

[rrxnjun]

I ACTUALLY YELLED SEEING LIEBESTRAUM WAHHHHH;-;-;;-;-;-;-;; THANK U SO MUCH FOR WRITING IT I CANT WAIT TILL JUNE;-;;-;-; i cannottttt tell u how happy u actually made me with that wahhdhfjf

OOO MAN☹️☹️I HOPE UR MENTAL HEALTH WILL GET BETTER!!!! AND U DONT SUCK!!! TAKE UR TIME WITH IT u shouldn't listen to them when ur not in the mood for them it will deff ruin the vibes so take all the time u need!!!!

i agree with that the only good noise music i listen to now is all from nct and when i hear other bgs' i'm just😟😟😟 IM SURE HE WAS AMAZING CUZ ALL OF THEM WERE🤌🤌 the song genuinely slaps so i'm not surprised if it makes it in there

well idk people said i study a lot so i just accepted the fact but i never feel prepared enough so;-; tbh the percentage is lower just to pass💀 but i need the plus point for uni and that's the limit for getting it but yeah i feel like it shows that hungary does not go for making people smarter lmao💀 I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE POINT LIMITS FOR GETTING INTO UNI wahhh the whole thing is dumb🫠 thank u!!!! i have three more speaking exams so i'm shitting my pants rn😃OH NO☹️ i hope u passed the second one exams suck so i hope it didn't hit u hard!!!! GOOD LUCK WITH THEM!!! IM SURE U WILL DO GOOD ON THEM!! MANIFESTING SO HARD!!!! I HOPE U ARE DOING WELL AND ARE TAKING CARE OF URSELF!!!! (liebestraum anon💓💕)

(the review reply: art sucks for that reason sm;-; but i deff learned after a few times of that happening with me as well to just sleep on it and throw it out after but it still amuses me how can art have this effect in a way (idk how to explain what i mean rip) AND THANK U FOR NOT HATING IT U JUST MADE ME THE HAPPIEST PERSON ISTG!!!)

IM REPLYING TO THIS ASK LITERALLY SO LATE THAT THE FIC IS DROPPING TOMORROW LMAO ADJSK i have to warn u tho its quite different to the original draft i had and the teaser i posted from it 😶😶 hope you still end up liking it !!!

SJSJ thank you thank you 😔😔 you are always so sweet and understanding ily mwah.

nct noise is the only good noise in kpop. there i said it. 😶 (this is a joke there are a few more good noise songs from diff groups pls dont jump me im targeting one fandom in specific w this yes) like nct could do any of your favs songs but could your favs do sticker? no. thats right.😌 AHHH im glad u liked my babies cix i was told by spotify that they are my top listened to artist of the last 4 weeks so. 😃 yeah. they also had a comeback like 2 days ago if u wanna check that out cough cough

if people tell u that, its probably true AHAHA 😭😭 me and my friend were talking the other day like i dont even study that much like i get to the 2 hour mark and i go well 🤷‍♀️ thats it for the day ig. like i dont have any more brain capacity LMAO. Oooh i do get you w the uni points stuff!! me being a straight A student was what got me into uni too bc switching from business hs to psychology was actually kind of insane coming from me LMAOOO i had no bonus points from biology or anything so my grades helped a TON since i fucked up the entrance exam too lol 😭😭😭 im rooting for you !!!! I feel like slovakia doesnt really care abt that either ?? there are definitely better and worse unis tho and i unfortunately attend the one thats one of the best so they kinda care..😔 SPEAKING EXAMS ARE THE WORST THEY SHOULD BE CANCELLED LIKE THATS 3 TIMES THE STRESS U HAVE WHEN TAKING A WRITTEN ONE. i hate those sm omg i am PRAYING for you (i have only one speaking one this semester and i am mentally preparing for it for the last few weeks) i actually passed the second try (with an E, but i still did it....) and i have another exam w the same professor this friday so..🤞

i am trying to learn how to be patient w art (and life) so it prevents me tearing everything out and throwing it out.....so you are right abt that AHAHA thats a good advice to take

as always i hope youre doing good, taking care of yourself and having a good time!! mwah

[hquirks]

Karasuno & College AU Pt. 1

School: Karasuno

Genre: headcanons, fluff, crack, slice of life 

Warnings: mental health breakdowns 

A/N: This is a Haikyuu!! Headcanon where the Karasuno first years attend the same college and experience their first semester. This is written under the assumption that they attend a Japanese college that follows an American college system. Lastly, most of these headcanons were based on our own personal experiences in college and from our friends.

Disclaimer: This is very...long LMAO. We’ve been working on this for the past 2 weeks on and off. We just had a lot of feelings but we had so much fun! We’re sorry but we hope you enjoy!!

By: Noodle ✨, BananaMilk 🐯, & FriedOmurice 🌊

HINATA SHOYO

Sports Communication Major

Gets scouted by a university’s volleyball team for either middle blocker/winged spiker

Procrastinates so HARD like does his essay that’s due at 8 am the night before. He PASSES his classes especially the ones for his major and what he is randomly interested in but he is still a mess when it comes to studying.

Though Hinata would be the person you see openly crying out of sadness and doom at 1am in the library

While he has gotten better in taking care of his body, however like any college student, he lives on redbull and coffee especially during finals. 

Tries to not pull all nighters but will due to his procrastination and inability to get work done efficiently

Lives in the same dorm building as Kageyama but on different floors. They burst into each other’s rooms unannounced all the time since they’ve established long ago that they are best friends and do not give a fuck. They banter with each other 24/7 (their respective roommates have grown immune to their loudness and bickering.)

Hinata’s roommate is Inouka from Nekoma!! They both get along really well and are able to live well together so they stay roommates the rest of the years in college. Hinata is a little messier than Inuoka but he keeps his messes to his side that Inuoka never minds.

Their apartment is super wholesome bc since they’re always encouraging each other, they leave little notes like “You got this!!”, “Good luck on your exam!” or “You’re amazing and awesome! Don’t forget it!” Also, the apartment just looks really homey, very lived in.

He becomes kinda popular at school because he just ends up befriending all his classmates (and is even closer to the people in his major) and also because of being on the volleyball team!! Hinata gets recognized everywhere even when he’s off campus and everyone says hi to him, and he never minds.

As a freshman, he attends all of the freshman events and all the free events that happen every day Friday!!!! His favorite Friday event is when they get to stuff an animal (either their school mascot or another animal) and are able to dress it up and keep it! (His favorite is an owl dressed like a volleyball player that he named Little Giant)

Tries to get involved with other clubs but because of volleyball and his inability to juggle more than 3 things, he doesn’t (but still ends up becoming friends with the people in the club bc they think he’s so friendly and fun)

Ends up going to a lot of events held by the clubs he’s befriended! He kinda of becomes a recruiter for the clubs because if he finds someone who talks about an interest, he recommends them one of the clubs. (The clubs are forever grateful because they always get an influx of people during fall semester every year.)

His first semester grades consists of:

- The Coming of Individuality (mandatory freshman course): C+ - Japanese Literature: C - Sports Media and Society: B - Principles of Sports Reporting: A - Biology 1: C-

Hinata has a breakdown about his grades because he does not want to lose his starting spot on the volleyball team. However, he improves much more due to the help of his friends like Yachi and Inuoka the next semester.

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

Sports therapy

Also gets scouted as a setter by the same university as Hinata

Since Hinata is adamant about attending all the freshman events and free events the campus offers every Friday, he eventually gets pulled into going with Hinata even though he doesn’t want to. 

Thanks to Karasuno and Hinata, he has softened over the years and has learned to be more sociable with others, but he still prefers to hang out with the first years squad and is still a quiet person. 

In their first dorm year, Kunimi and Kindaichi were planning to room together & they were looking for a third roommate, and Kageyama was assigned to their room

They eventually grow mutual respect towards each other

His grades are better than when he was in high school because he actually likes his classes, but he still sucks at general education subjects

He lives on coffee and 5 hour energies to get through finals. He has to cut down on the 5 hour energies because he ends up not sleeping for 3 days straight and he starts to get worried.

Kageyama eventually caves in and tries to join other clubs that do not revolve around volleyball thanks to his friends. Somehow, and the first year squad is still confused as to how, he grew to love the cooking club and he gets really excited whenever they’re trying out a new dish! (He also thinks that as an athlete knowing how to cook and take care of his body is crucial). 

One day when they’re hanging out at Yamaguchi and Tsukki’s apartment, he cooks for them a recipe he learned from the club. The others are really apprehensive at first to taste it, but are genuinely so surprised that it actually tasted REALLY good and immediately start showering him compliments and yelling. Kageyama’s brain goes mush and all he can say is HINATA BOKE(Hinata: WHAT??? I was complimenting you and I wasn’t the only one, Bakageyama!!) 

Besides going on his daily runs, he will also find time to go to the gym early in the mornings. He brings Hinata along with him and they just end up competing at the gym. They become regulars and befriend the front desk people and the security guards.

Because of how popular and good-looking he is, he ends up developing a fan club but doesn’t know about it until one day Tsukki points it out. It’s right after midterms in their 1st year and all five are out to eat. Tsukki’s gets annoyed because there’s just been a hoard of girls (& guys) following them in the restaurant.

Tsukki: can you tell your fanclub to leave us alone?

Kags: ...my what???

Tsukki, unimpressed but not surprised:....

Hinata points out that he has a fanclub like the Great King and Kageyama just blanches...he wants to be like Oikawa but not like this LMFAO

Kageyama’s first semester grades:

- The Coming of Individuality (mandatory freshman course): C+ - Principles of sports therapy A+ - General Japanese 1 C- - Calculus 1 B+ - Ethical Issues in Sport A-

TSUKISHIMA KEI

World History major (Honors Program)

Very orderly with his course plans (LEARNING CURVE WHO??)

The guy who plans his week ahead and actually diligently studies. Since Tsukki is BUSY all the time in college, his planner is DETAILED and NEAT. He carries it with him all the time in his backpack or pocket since it is so small and portable. If needed whenever his plans do change, he would carry small sticky notes to plan it out on the spot and make sure everything goes smoothly still. Plus he hates it when it looks messy so sticky notes are a must.

Doesn’t usually go to events on his own willpower. He usually gets dragged into events by his upperclassmen (Kuroo and Bokuto) or Yamaguchi begs to go with him because he doesn’t want to go alone. 

Enjoys going to the college’s on-campus museums during his spare time. He visits seasonally since the museums change up one exhibit every few month dedicated to a certain event or artist. His favorite is the art museum because it’s quiet and calming. (Also, he’s undisturbed by the others...)

Doesn’t want to be the group manager but becomes one anyway because he just can’t watch others “ruin” his grade. 

Has some university credits already from his AP classes / dual enrollment so he’s already finished with some general education requirements but still needs a few more. 

He can actually graduate a semester early BUT decides against it because his apartment lease goes through the next semester and doesn’t want to be bothered with finding someone else to take his spot. (He won’t admit it but he would kinda sorta miss the 4 idiots...)

Sometimes he forgets to eat (Yamaguchi usually reminds him plus they end up going to lunch together too). Often buys starbucks sandwiches on the way to class.

He has his own starbucks cup. He always drinks the same thing, so the workers remember his face and order. Sometimes they make his order ahead of time because they know. Loves their chocolate croissants. 

That bitch who drinks BLACK coffee every morning for enjoyment!!! He also drinks espresso for necessity during finals

Arrives to class early so he can get the really nice seat in the back and doesn’t want to sit next to anyone

In class discussions, Tsukki is a classic smartass. He will not hesitate to give out his opinion and often plays devil's advocate for the class.

He doesn’t join the school official volleyball team, but joins the volleyball club instead because he has to juggle between being in the honors program, being a research assistant, and playing volleyball

Doesn’t want to admit it, but still supports the boys at the official volleyball team. Goes to almost every game in disguise.

Tsukki’s first semester grades:

- The Coming of Individuality (mandatory freshman course): A- - European History and Culture A+ - History Research Seminar: A+ - Crime and Punishment in Japanese History: A+ - Empires, Nationalism, and Revolution: A+ 

Won’t say it, but is actually pretty upset that he got a A- in Coming of Individuality

YAMAGUCHI TADASHI

He majors in psychology and minors in business administration. 

Knows where all the university gardens are and has a favorite spot when he studies sometimes if he wants some fresh air.

In continuation, he knows and goes to all the nice trails and parks around the city. He tries to go when he cans and he often brings the other first years when they all have the time. (Everyone except Tsukki enjoys it...but Tsukki grows to love it as well.)

Yamaguchi and Yachi go together to pet the therapy dogs every Friday by the library and cry from the cuteness and love they receive. They have a favorite dog that is a shiba inu named Mizu who is the ABSOLUTE sweets and gets so many belly rubs from these two.

Yamaguchi works at a boba place to cover his loans. The first-year squad comes over often to study and hang out with him (really though they tease/play around with him). He is a STAR employee, having been there most of his 4 years and is employee of the month frequently. Knows the regulars’ orders by heart and is doted on the little old lady who comes in with her dog every Sunday morning.

He LOVES all the good food. He knows all the low key, hole-in-the-wall places that DELIVER on food. His favorite food is teriyaki chicken. It’s basic but also HAS to be quality chicken and chicken.

When Yamaguchi wants to cry from the stress of doing SOOOOOO MUCH (school, job, research assistant, and psychology club), he goes to the psychology building because it’s colder and has fewer people. He discovered a spot there that no one ever goes to and cries there. 

He actually found his mentor/ researcher boss who was a psychology professor and researcher who saw him one day and asked if he was okay.

He joins the psychology club and gets so involved!! He does the mentor/mentee program and because he loves helping people so much, he ends up having so many mentees and even adopting a few who get abandoned

Even though he’s already busy, he actually becomes secretary this 2nd year, VP 3rd year, and then president his last year!

Yamaguchi does NOT do coffee, but he loves tea and anything relating to tea. His favorite boba flavor is matcha green tea. 

Because of this, he becomes obsessed with matcha in general and will get matcha flavored anything

Yamaguchi and Tsukki are roomies (duh). People don’t get why they live together with their opposite personalities, but they eventually see why 

Yamaguchi first semester grades: 

- Psychology of Personality: A+ - The Coming of Individuality (mandatory freshman course): A- - Social Psychology: A+ - Introduction to Statistics 1: B- - Introduction to Finance: B

Has always been a good student and works hard for his grades but his first semester grades suffer a little(freaks out about his B’s) because of all the stuff he has on his plate, however, he learns to handle it better and understands that a B is still okay!! 

YACHI HITOKA

Graphic Design Major

Binge-buys Shein and YesStyle Clothes the first week

This QUEEN has taken every self defense lesson she could get her hands on and bought herself pepper spray as well. Even though the boys felt they were fine, she gave them pepper spray to put in their bags(practically shoved it in their bags because she wants them to be safe too)

She gets a lot of compliments for her cat keychain from others, but none of them really know that the keychain can be used for self defense and Yachi bought it because it was cute and effective. 

Her campus has a building for all of the student life and activities and there’s a small bowling alley. Lemme tell you, she’s a serious bowler; like her scores are always in the triple digits. She goes every Wednesday religiously all four years (except during midterms and finals week) because it’s half priced.

OFC she joins the bowling club and competes throughout her college years. Y’all already know she’s winning the medals. 

THE QUEEN OF SAVING MONEY AND COUPONING!! She will always snag the free, semesterly coupon book in the plaza when they give them out. She ends up grabbing 4 (2 for her and 2 for her roommate)

Yachi LOVES sweets so when she’s feeling stressed, she usually eats sweet things or cries and if she’s REALLY stressed she’ll do both. Her best friends are her tears, a tub of chocolate ice cream, and videos of animals(cats, dogs, pandas mostly but cats are her fav mostly) plus tiny food cooking to make her feel better.

In clubs that she joins, she often becomes the multimedia chair and everyone loves her designs and ideas!! 

She interns during her 3rd year as a local business where they use her design as the new logo for the company!! Because of how well the design was, she ends up catching the eye of a major company (one she’s been looking at for a while) and they offer her a job after graduation!!

The boys are super proud of her and surprise her with a congratulations party for her success!! The boys are tearing up at how much Yachi has grown as a person(imagine Kiyoko when she presented Karasuno with the team flag and all the second and third year boys CRIED. That’s what happens basically) 

Yachi’s first semester grades: 

- The Coming of Individuality (mandatory freshman course): A+ - Perceptual drawing: A+ - Typography: A+ - Principles of Art History 1:B+ - Introduction to Statistics: A+ 

Yachi is SMART and has great grades, but her anxiety affects her when she’s dealing with big projects for her classes. She eventually gets better every semester and learns to manage her anxiety when it comes to big assignments! Bottom line, she evolves to be a BOSS. 

FIRST YEARS’ SHENANIGANS (FIRST YEARS)

Coming of Individuality: freshman required course

- Hinata, Yachi, and Yamaguchi agree to be in the same class Hinata convinces Kageyama to take the course with him

- Yamaguchi asks Tsukki to take the course with him and Yachi, which he agrees, but Tsukki doesn’t know that Hinata and Kageyama are also there

Plants Drops!

- Every 3rd Thursday of the month, the gardening club has a plant drop where they give out plants for free in their campus’ plaza

- So, Yachi and Yamaguchi are the first ones to find out about it, and end up dragging the other 3 to go with them

- Tsukki thought he would hate it but he got this little cactus that he’s kept alive all four years and brings it with him when he graduates into his new apartment - Hinata tries to keep the plants alive but ends up forgetting about them so he has to opt for cacti only; though, he does end up keeping one plant alive for the rest of the semester but forgets about it when he goes home and leaves it in the dorm - Kageyama ends up keeping two plants alive, both little ferns, and names them banana and strawberry (his favorite milks) They still go every 3rd Thursday even if they have plants because it gives them an opportunity to see each other if they have been busy

Yamaguchi and Tsukki’s place

- The undisputed hangout place for the first year squad (Tsukki worries that Kags and Hinata will break something every time they come over) since it is so close to campus.  - They often come over in between classes to chill and eat their food in peace while watching Netflix or playing Mario Kart or Super Smash together.

MANDATED (Tsukki didn’t want this but the others wanted this to happen) first-year lunch hangout

- Every Friday at exactly 11:15am, the first-year squad would eat lunch together at a local food stand on their campus called Tikis to catch up for the week.  - They chose Friday because they tried all the other days and decided collectively that Fridays were the best.  - The food stand usually sells a variety of food (usually soul food) and switch it up every week but it has some of the BEST food on campus (& even the city) - Without a doubt, the first-year squad ALWAYS make sure to leave space for their mandated Tikis lunch when doing their schedules every semester. No excuses. 

[pennylogue]

thoughts on “growing pains”

yeah, a week late XD but this episode was way too important for me to say nothing.

You can draw a lot of conclusions about why Steven has become so isolated from the gems and Greg, and why the Gems haven’t confronted him about any of his powers going awry, and it’s honestly probably a lot of factors at once…but his conversation with Greg at the beginning of the episode really says just about everything that needs to be said on his end. It’s reflexive at this point. He never wanted to be a burden on the Gems became a habit—he never wants to be a burden or anyone. Even when he should be. Or when he’s being short-sighted about how putting off addressing his issues is just going to make them even harder to deal with down the road.

Still, it’s so heartening that connie makes him go to the hospital. It’s really a solution that’s uniquely hers, something none of his other friends or family would have thought of.

I know very few people care about Steven having a confirmed height (of five foot six), but I care and I am happy. Give me this.

Tbh, hybrid biology is my jam to the point where I didn’t want to get my hopes up for an episode that literally promised to be about examining Steven’s biology. SU has been so obfuscatory about studying Gems that it seemed like this could be bait. But the Gems’ x-rays were so fun, I was on the edge of my seat going into Steven’s x-ray--

And you know, when I said I wanted hybrid biology facts…yeah, that was a monkey’s paw there. I am so fucking impressed with this episode, and how elegantly it found a way to lead into mental trauma from physical trauma. It’s a perfect representation of his problems—wounds that healed too invisibly for anyone to notice, but the strain of the wound was always there. It was just unnoticed. It really gets across everything it’s trying to say in such a simple and easy-to-understand way. Steven always seemed invincible. He just wasn’t.

God, that scene. The way it focused on how even the weird-toned s1a episodes contributed, used that to simultaneously put the events of 1a and later episodes into another light. I’ll admit it—I diagnosed the pink glow wrong. I didn’t know what it was, but I didn’t think it was literal ptsd. 

See, I didn’t expect the show to directly blame the overarching pattern of trauma Steven experienced for his actions, because it seemed to be taking it’s time, exploring each aspect of Steven’s problems through different lenses. He’s lost and without purpose after fixing everything, so he falls back on habits of being useful, trying to help people--but for some reason, that’s not working as well as it used to. He keeps hurting people. He keeps messing up. Everyone seems to be moving on, but he can’t. So he’s angry. So he’s confused. So he’s upset. So he feels even more out of control, and reaches to control even more—and inevitably lashes out because of everything he’s bottling up. Again and again, he tries to forge ahead, only to find he’s tripping himself up. It seems to be a spiral, growing from the stress of his mid-life crisis, his numerous issues (Rose just one among them), the way his upbringing has left him without the tools to really transition stages of his life. 

I think I was expecting some sort of fantastical metaphor. It wasn’t going to be one thing, it was going to be everything crashing down combined, making him more and more stressed, until he snapped and blew something up (I was never a huge fan of corruption), and the rest of the show would be helping Steven and picking up the pieces. Steven has so many issues, so many problems, and it was very, very distracting to focus on all of those and so very easy to miss the forest for the trees. There seemed to be such a surplus of “whys” that their overwhelming nature was self-evident. How could someone possibly function with so many issues?

So, why is Steven acting this way? 

Because X and Y and Z and CYM. 

Oh, you mean the pattern of traumatic events he’s been through.

Right.

That have caused CPTSD.

...HOLY SHI--

There are so many stand-out lines in this episode, but: “My body, it’s reacting like it’s the end of the world. I think I’ve seen the world almost end so many times now that everything that goes wrong feels that…extreme.....How do I live life when it always feels like I’m about to die?!”

That hits hard. It’s real. A lot of people struggle with that every day. It’s so brutal and so bleak, and it’s hard to hear.

And it’s even harder to hear it coming from Steven. Steven, a kid who we have been through so much with, and who is still so heartbreakingly young. Even though he’s always been the viewpoint character, Steven’s range of maturity and behavior, depending on the situation, have always kind of made it hard to nail down his exact psyche. I mean, never tells you how much of his early behavior is genuine and how much of it is him trying to make the Gems laugh--you just sort of figure that out at some point, maybe as late as “Familiar”, and go oh. 

So to hear that kid who, to some extent, is always gonna be that sweet little boy to us, to have him straight-up say that he feels like he’s always about to die, to know he means it, that that’s what been going, that that’s been buried inside of him for who knows how long--that this was the price all of his victories, the secret fact that he’d ruined his health in every way possible--

--yeah, it hits hard.

“Growing Pains” is really an episode that’s effective not just because, obviously, of all of SU, but all of SUF. For the last dozen episodes, Steven has been fruitlessly asking “why”, over and over. Why is he so angry? Why is he so lost? Why does he feel all of these things?

The answer to this question isn’t a flood of endless problems--It uses the entirety of SU and SUF to balance the weight of it’s precise strike, because rebecca knew exactly what she was doing here. The reason this episode feels like a reveal we always kind of knew was because that…well, diagnosing mental health disorders is about recognizing a pattern of symptoms and behaviors.

So what has SUF been doing? It’s been tracing that pattern. 

In other news,iIt does freak me out that corruption theory has actual concrete evidence at this point. I’ve never been a fan, but that glowing happened and I just went…WELP. “I Am My Monster” certainly didn’t help.

I do feel bad for Connie, and I really am glad she hopefully has the maturity to not blame any of this on herself, because she’s done literally everything she could--up to and including getting Steven to go to a hospital and calling Greg well in advance of when she knew he would likely be needed--and none of this is on her. Still, here we go. Here’s the ugly side of emotional repression. It’s gotta go somewhere, and when it comes out—it comes out in ways you’re going to regret later. Obviously, having Steven’s issues just make that way, way worse. Still, they always try to treat each other with care and respect, no matter how bad things get, and that’s something really wonderful.

And one final note, concerning Greg:

A lot of people have been digging into Greg’s reasons for never taking him to a doctor, defending him by saying he was too poor to afford it or calling him out, but tbh, I like fanfoolishness’s take on it the most. He hadn’t thought he could take Steven to a normal doctor without consequences early on, and later—well, his baby was half magic. He probably thought Steven would be fine, and there a lot of other things to worry about. Not great, but it’s understandable, and dude’s not perfect.

Speaking of which: Greg is an A+ dad, I adore him, I love him to death, and he fucked up. He fucked up big time, in the way that every parent is going to, because no parent is perfect--even the ones that do their best, like him, are going to have massive blindspots. Insecurities about his inadequacy and unimportance compared to the Crystal Gems and their mission likely led to him nodding along to what was probably the Gem’s ideas of how to go about training Steven. 

He didn’t want to get underfoot. He didn’t want to get in the way. He didn’t want to give bad advice, because he’s not good with Gem stuff, and it honestly makes him pretty uncomfortable these days, with everything that’s happened since Rose. In fact, him having as little to do with Gem stuff as possible is probably what was best for Steven--right? 

And he never really thought about how his implicit rejection of an integral part of Steven would affect Steven. He toughed it out, the loneliness, telling himself it was for Steven’s own good...

What I’m getting at is that I’ve been hoping for a Greg character arc for ages, and Future seems like a great time for it. Better late than never. And honestly, I can’t wait to see how Greg’s attempts to parent Steven go.

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Azeros

(Story Post, New Character)

They didn’t waste time after breakfast getting ready for the ritual. There were pearl coloured robes for the humans to wear but Dusty and Köbi were expected to be in their true forms (or at least truest form with out blinding the others). In their true forms however, they both had wings and took up a lot of space. They had to tuck their wings very close as they were packed into the elevator, both not wanting to touch wings as well and limiting their space even more for it. Dante was blowing feathers out of his face as he waited to see what floor Sydryn chose.

They chose the ninth floor, the very top of the whole complex. It took only moments for them to be lifted up there and then the doors were opening again. What they saw then didn't even make sense for the layout of the building. They were entering what appeared to be an enormous cathedral. Gold gilded the walls and ceiling. Niches held statues of various divine creatures and prophets. To call it a cathedral would greatly diminish the intersectionality of it all as it appeared that religious symbolism from all corners of the world had a place here. Decorated prayer mats adorned the floor, a Shinto arch framed the way in from the elevator, and a bronze font sat on the side of the entrance. There were other forms of symbolism the party had never seen before and too many to list. A figure dressed in black, white and gold robes, with alabaster skin and golden horns, swept towards them and bowed, golden jewellery dangling from their neck. It was quite clear that this dragon hoarded religion. Sydryn was immediately disgusted by the sight of their peer. They scowled at them as they approached but stepped forward to greet them. “Azeros,” Sydryn addressed. “We've come to use your space.” “What kind of greeting is that to your superior?” Azeros said, getting even closer to Syd and taking their arm. “Good morning. Blessed be the day.” Sydryn was clearly using everything in their power not to spit in the face of this dragon. “Good morning.” “Please. Do you really want to carry that negativity to our offspring?” Azeros asked, placing a hand on Sydryn's stomach. The doctor immediately snapped and grabbed Azeros's arm, twisting it backwards. “Don't you ever touch me.” Azeros groaned in pain and pulled their arm away when Sydryn's grip eased. “You haven’t introduced me to your companions.” Sydryn glowered and pointed between Ruben and Dante. “That one's the lover and that one's the bonded. You can determine the rest.” Azeros rolled their eyes and pushed past Sydryn to their visitors. Köbi was absolutely over the moon in this great hall of religious symbols and artefacts. Dusty was very much the opposite. “Angel, welcome,” Azeros said eyeing Köbi in an almost lustful manner. “It is an honour to have you here in my domain.” Köbi beamed. “Your collection is very impressive. I feel like I'm in...well. If I can't say in front of the humans...” Dante and Ruben both looked at him curiously. “I understand,” Azeros said. “Make yourself at home here.” They moved on to Dusty. “You are also very welcome here. There are many religions who worship the demon. Perhaps after the unbinding, you would chose to stay with me. Both of you.” “Not in your wildest dreams,” Dusty stated glaring at the dragon. “There's no way I'd even consider having a sleepover with someone Syd clearly hates so much.” Köbi didn’t say anything, clearly considering the option. Azeros chuckled. “Sydryn loves me. Our fates have always been intertwined.” “I couldn't loathe you more,” Sydryn stated. “And you think talking to me like that will allow you to use my home?” Azeros asked. “No.” Sydryn looked up at the other. “I know carrying your eggs inside me gives me the right to use your home.” “Now, now...” Azeros withdrew a bit. “You know we all agreed long ago on repopulation terms. You're not the only pregnant dragon right now.” “I agreed to repopulate. I did not chose to repopulate with you,” Sydryn stated pointedly. “Not to mention, you don’t have to carry any eggs. You get to sit around comfortably watching the rest of us suffer.” “I was run through in battle,” Azeros reminded them. “Isn’t that suffering enough?” Sydryn set their jaw and muttered. “You should’ve perished and saved us our suffering…” Azeros rolled their eyes and sighed. “Second eldest always repopulates with the eldest,” they stated. “These rules are known.” “These rules are nonsense,” Sydryn said. “The only factor to consider when choosing partners is whether or not the dragons are related.” “So we're partners?” Azeros said, smiling. “Barely mates.” Köbi raised a hand. “I don't mean to interrupt, but we're losing the morning.” “Right. This way,” Azeros said, waving them down the centre of the hall. The centre was setup as if morning mass was about to begin, but they passed the pews and behind the altar to a much smaller room beyond. The ceiling was still high and vaulted. The room was an opalescent white and carved with unknown ruins. There was a large stone table in the centre of the room the size of a king sized bed. An altar at the back held a large codex bound in leather hundreds of years old. Slots in the domed ceiling allowed for sunlight to pass through stained glass windows, though the imagery in the windows were not the biblical narratives one expects. Instead it depicted scenes of creatures and monsters of all sorts: dragons, demons, angels, centaurs, mermaids, giants, griffins, kappa, kitsune, Jotun, and so on. “What religion is this room for?” Dante asked. “Prodigean,” Azeros said, grinning as they stepped behind the altar. “A very ancient power dedicated to the worship and management of monsters.” Köbi frowned. “I don't fancy the term...” “Of course you wouldn't,” Dusty said. “This is probably the first time anyone's called you that.” “Demons are monsters,” Köbi argued. “Angels are the opposite so we can't possibly be monsters too.” “Have you ever considered we're just two sides of the exact same coin?” Dusty asked. “Absurd.” “Now, I've had to make some modifications to the ritual we are performing,” Azeros stated. “The original would require the human to perish but I’ve merged it with a lifesaving ritual so all should go swimmingly.” “Whoa, hold on a minute,” Ruben stopped. “You merged it? You’re talking about this fatal ritual like some kind of soup recipe you can just throw a couple extra onions in. Aren’t rituals, like, pretty fucking strict about what you can and can’t do?” “Child, I have studied religion and rituals for centuries before your grandfather was even a sperm in his father’s scrotum,” Azeros stated. “I know the limitations.” “You better because this is my partner’s life we’re talking about here,” Ruben growled. Azeros approached Ruben and took his chin in their thin clawed hand. The dragon leered deeply into the human’s eyes but Ruben didn’t waver. Azeros released him and turned to Sydryn. “My dear, when you told me they were in a lover’s quarrel, I had my doubts about this working, but this child is absolutely madly in love. He’s perfect.” Ruben and Dante both glanced at each other, turned away, and blushed. Azeros’s joy only grew. “There’s no faith greater than trusting one’s life to another. Köbi, please look over this tome with me.” “Right.” The angel walked over beside the dragon and read through the ritual they were to perform. From beyond another door, Sydryn was wheeling in IV equipment, including a reclining medical bed, a pole and empty blood bags. They’d also changed into scrubs and they were probably the brightest pink scrubs anyone had ever seen. “Ruben, please join me here.” Ruben walked over and sat down as the doctor got set up. “Forgot you were a licensed doctor for a second… So I’m giving blood the old fashion way then.” “No, the old fashion way would be the way that book describes it,” Sydryn said. “We’d just cut open your palm and Dante’s with some rusty old knife, and make you clasp them tightly together, just hoping your blood would enter his. It’s barbaric and likely to get you killed. This way,” they held up the IV bag, “is definitely the newest way of doing things.” “Geez.” Ruben rubbed his arm. “I’m 33, not 303. IV is the old fashion way to me…” “Being the only way in your lifetime doesn’t make it old,” Sydryn stated. “Put your legs up and your arm out.” Dante went over and sat on the edge of the table nearest the blood donation. He kissed Ruben’s head as the doctor checked his boyfriend’s temperature. “Thank god you’re not my brother. You’d have to knock him out to get blood out of Lino.” “Trust me, I am always glad I’m not your brother,” Ruben stated. Sydryn finished up checking his health then sterilised the the skin over the vein they were going to use. “Count back from five.” “How much are you tak—Ow. Fuck, man,” Ruben complained. “A pint. It’s not my fault you didn’t count,” Sydryn said, taping down the needle now stuck into Ruben’s arm. A machine on a trolley nearby cradled the the IV bag and appeared to rock the blood out of Ruben’s arm. Dante gagged and looked away. Ruben frowned. “You too then?” “I’m not afraid of needles like Lino. I just don’t like seeing blood…” “Then you might want to close your eyes for the whole ritual,” Azeros input, looking up from the codex. “It is entirely blood based.” Dante paled a bit but Ruben rubbed his shoulder with his free arm. “You’re going to be fine,” Ruben said. “You’ll have my blood in you from now on.” “No, Dante’s body will have replaced the blood in about a hundred to a hundred and twenty days,” Sydryn corrected. “It’s the demon’s blood which has lived inside him for so long.” “Wait…” Ruben frowned. “So this whole bonding thing is because Dusty’s blood is inside Dante’s? Would that have any affect on Marco?” “The child? Did you even take basic biology in school?” Sydryn asked. “Actually, no. I didn’t,” Ruben said. Not finishing high school was always a soft spot for him. Dante ran his hand through Ruben’s hair. “Only my DNA was passed on to Marco. Not the contents of my blood. Only Yori’s blood could’ve had an affect on Marco, but I don’t even know if Yori has blood…” “He doesn’t,” Sydryn stated. “What’s a Yori?” Köbi asked getting curious. “Dog spirit.” “A spirit you say?” Azeros asked, interest also peaked. “Like a ghost or a god?” “Wouldn’t you like to know,” Sydryn scoffed. They left the room for a moment only to bring back cookies for Ruben. It took another ten minutes for the bag to fill, and then Ruben was cleaned up and they were ready to start the ritual.

[masterzii]

How to get 4.0 or at least 3.7 plus?

There is no _secret_ to getting good grades. Additionally, not everyone will get good grades. I wouldn't focus on getting the grades as much as I would focus on making the most of your time, and using it wisely. Some classes are really hard and not worth the time to get an A.

​

You could get a 4.0 by never taking any difficult classes that you don't have to, or you could load up and take 18 credit semesters and maybe not get a 4.0.

​

Manage your time effectively.

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There are five super important things that you _must_ do for overall health and productivity.

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Meditation, Exercise, Diet, Sleep (7-8 hours a night, almost always), and Social activity.

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If you do those things and manage your time, that will be the best you can do.

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Make sure to set aside some downtime for yourself in order to restore yourself, whether that be to go to parties, clubs, spend time hanging out with friends, reading, hobbies... etc.

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Don't be too hard on yourself. If you are, you can become depressed, which is not only bad as a whole, but will make it harder to work on things, because you won't have the energy. It's okay to get bad grades. It's not good to linger on mistakes, figure out what you did wrong, and how you can prepare better for next time, or perform better on the assignments.

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Also, find some clubs, and make lots of friends. Make friends with people who work hard, it'll rub off onto you, and it'll matter more who your friends are than your grades when you get into the real world, over the long run.

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They may help pull you into good jobs, or act as references.

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Also, thing about your long term goals (which you may not be certain about), grades matter more for some things than for others.

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Finding the balances is tricky. You can only strive to do your best, and make the most of your time.

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I seriously regret not spending more time with people in college, my mental health would've been better, and I would have likely had better grades as a result, hell maybe even a girlfriend, or some fun stories to tell.

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You got this. I believe in you.

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You _will_ make mistakes, but everyone does, focus on the goals.

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And remember, life is about the journey, because every life ends in death.

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Go to class, study, go to office hours, work with your friends in order to help each other out when you get stuck, and for company. Set schedules and study in advance, don't pull an all nighter before an exam, because it'll negatively affect your memory, and your ability to do simple tasks, so you'll make many more mistakes, and it probably won't be worth it, unless you knew nothing going into the exam.

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Read the textbook, lecture notes. Make sure you know the content, rereading, and highlighting are probably not going to do anything to help you. Lots of study techniques are a waste of time, even though a lot of people spend hours doing them. Make sure you _understand_ the context, because it will make it easier to remember. Dumb songs, acronyms and other mnemonic techniques will make things easier to remember, even if they sound stupid.

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If you have a question, fucking ask, people may judge you, but it doesn't matter what they think, it matters that you understand the content. Lots of people who seem like they understand probably don't.

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Don't spend too much time comparing yourself to others, everyone has their limits, their priorities etc, focus on completing goals so you'll leave college happy with how you did, and _what_ you did.

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Social accountability is another powerful tool that will help you. If you can get your friends to be disappointed in you when you don't study properly, or do something you're supposed to do, it will be a massive deterrent against doing things poorly.

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If you're interested in learning to master your memory, check out "Moonwalking with Einstein". Anyone can train their memory to memorize lots of things quickly, which can be useful for some classes (and less useful for concept based classes).

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Learn how everything in a class connects, if you can do that, instead of having memorized one piece of information you'll have a web of things and how they relate to each other, making everything easier to remember, and sometimes you can use this web to derive a missing piece of information. I did disproportionately well on many exams, and I believe it was due to me focusing on understanding, and not memorizing problem solutions. Don't memorize the solution to lots of problems, learn how to read a problem and come up with an approach to tackle it.

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Lots of people will be stumped when a problem is not 100% exactly the same as it was in homework, don't let that happen to you.

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On exams, I always would flip through exams, do as much as I could until I got stuck, and move onto the next problem. I'd come back to that problem after it had some time to sit in my brain.

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Studying weeks in advance a little bit everyday is 10x better than cramming last minute.

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Do your homework, homework is studying (if you do it right).

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Also, more important than pure grades:

lab/research experience, programming skills for data analysis and automation, friends (connections), internships (10x more important than grades for getting a job), letters of recommendation for grad school (from working with professors)

Also, set a schedule, and stick to it as much as you can, but don't let it prevent you from doing unexpected things with friends. Make as many things as possible into a routine, so you don't have to actively think about them, planning will help you stay ahead of the game, so you don't need to figure out what to do, you just do it.

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Use time between classes wisely.

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Don't hang out with people who are going to get you to do stupid things, and who don't have any ambitions, they _will_ drag you down with them. It doesn't matter if they are good people at heart.

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And once again, use your time in college wisely, if it takes 10 hours a week to get a 3.5, and 30 hours to get a 4.0, just take the 3.5 and use the 20 hours to do research, join academic type clubs that will improve skills you want, it will send you farther in life.

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Figure out the possibilities for what you want to do, and try to design life around them. If you want to go to medical school, have a backup plan. Just studying biology will f*ck you over if you don't get in.

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Also, make sure you won't be graduating with an amount of debt you can't handle, it will literally ruin your life.

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It doesn't matter if you went to Harvard if you have 200k in debt, you'll be paying 20k+ a year for the next 20 years.

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Generally speaking, don't go over 50k in debt unless you have a very good reason, and a way to pay it off.

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An english degree is probably never going to make it easy to pay off 100k in debt no matter where you went.

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Once again, don't be too hard on yourself, you are in a top school, everyone around is mostly just as smart as you are, you are no longer the cream of the crop. You will not do as well as you did in high school (In all likelihood). That's okay, as I said, do your best, and plan for post college (or grad school), your grades matter less than you think in the long run.

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Also, I suggest figuring out every class you want to take, and figure out a plan to take them. Maybe you'll see if you can dual degree or double major, it's much easier to do now than in a few years. Classes will get harder (probably).

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You might consider taking a few classes in different disciplines in order to make sure you want to stay in your major, it'll make switching easier if you have a few classes done.

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Or, consider doubling down and finishing your classes a year early so you can graduate, or maybe start taking graduate classes and do lots of research.

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Good luck! :)

https://www.reddit.com/r/college/comments/996efz/how_to_get_40_or_at_least_37_plus/

[halfcape]

Finished up S1 of Tokyo Ghoul – (spoilers for a lot of the series)

I’m not a ~lore stan, but there are already way too many world-building and really just basic storytelling issues I’ve seen so far that’s messing with my interest in this series. Maybe some of this stuff is better explained in the manga, but I’ve checked the wiki, and it seems to be pretty faithful.

- there’s a lot of suspension of disbelief when it comes to just accepting how Kaneki was turned into an artificial ghoul. This wouldn’t bother me so much if it wasn’t a plot point, but it is. Why does transplanting some ghoul organs (which ones?) into a human body change … the nature of the entire human body? How was he able to survive that if the organs are apparently so different? You don’t need to be a med or nursing student to understand that the organ systems all work together. Yes, I know that it’s fiction and there’s some stuff you need to just accept to get through the story, but this is asking too much, especially when the author makes a point to lean into “real life science” explanations for fantasy/sci-fi elements.

Even stuff like Twilight make an effort to explain the vampire transformation process (magical sparkly hard skin, etc) but goes the ‘less is more’ route. This ~magical transformation is stupid, but it’s at least consistent in a stupid story. Personal preference, maybe, but I’d much rather read a ‘magic did that’ explanation instead of ‘mad scientist guy switched the organs out of magical monsters chick like a jigsaw puzzle which explains how a human got magical monster powers’. Though when I skipped ahead to see how everything ended (I don’t have hours to burn into cross-checking the manga for adaption accuracy), considering that Kaneki and the blue-haired Creator’s Pet end up basically having an anime-Renesmee babu by the end of this series (even though there is a scene at the beginning explicitly saying that this really should not be possible), maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve read that the author’s also a lit major (……..), so maybe he’s secretly Into Twilight and other dumb popular crap? Who knows.

- there doesn’t seem to be much of a practical difference in-universe between half-ghouls and full-ghouls, which unfortunately ruins a lot of the dramatic weight for Kaneki’s story. The only major differences are that Kaneki has the one red eye, still smells like a human, regenerates really fast, and … that’s it. He still stuck with the Food Problem, and no “in-between” way to avoid participating in the morally bad thing that would make him a monster. Tbf, I don’t watch too much monster fantasy stuff, but with characters that are “half-species” like Keith from Voltron (he is a badly written character, but yeah) and Marvel’s Blade, there’s something that’s different enough for the characters to “blend in” with both worlds without having to be a complete monster (why bother writing the character as half if they’re the same as the full monsters). With Blade, he had the strengths of being a vampire and could go outside, but the disadvantage of blood thirst, which he’s able to manage with a serum. Keith is technically Galra, but can pass for human, which is relevant to the plot since the Galra are the antagonists and he won’t be persecuted because he doesn’t look like them. Kaneki is just a ghoul with one red eye and a human smell. (I had some ideas of how the series might work better if Kaneki had that in-between, but honestly this series isn’t good enough for me to do the work of the author, so I’m not posting them).

- The ghouls are not sympathetic as the “oppressed monster” trope. You instantly lose your humanity points when you’re Eating People, whether or not your “bIoLoGy” requires that. Kaneki is the exception, but that’s only because he used to be human, and his body was forcibly “changed” into a monster. His story is tragic because the writer at least seems to understand that eating people is pretty fucking irredeemable and it’s near-impossible to write around this. (Unless you’re a vore fan, but I don’t think they’re the target demographic for this series.) The people at Anteiku have made the best of a bad situation by cannibalizing dead bodies, for example, but Kaneki’s revulsion to even that means it’s still terrible.

- The whole 'don’t tell humans you’re a ghoul’ meme that generic angry blue chick rages about isn’t really that impactful when everyone in the universe already knows ghouls exist. And her bff is human.

- The in-universe reaction to the existence of the ghouls isn’t realistic. Yes, there is a special police branch to deal with them, but this is an inadequate response to literal cannibalistic monsters living in a human society. I thought there’d be something like the government system keeping track of ghouls rather than just letting them wander around and ~hoping that … they don’t eat too many people every few months? That they don’t completely overpower humans, since they canonically can do that? … Why are ghouls allowed to roam around, anyway?

- There are too many characters, and most of them are forgettable or underdeveloped. Characters like Nishiki are not given enough time to be redeemed for doing shitty things, so I can’t get invested in them. No, I don’t care about your sad backstory when you’re introduced kicking the the protag’s best friend into the wall for shock value.

- That said, Blue Anger is easily the worst in the main cast. Watching scenes with her is almost as painful as watching LOK’s Mako not being held accountable for pretty much anything. Nishiki may be underdeveloped, and other characters like Tsukiyama just make me tired (and he’s not good queer rep, but I’m not going to talk about that right now), but at least Nishiki gets knocked around a few times so it doesn’t feel like he’s completely getting away with being a dick. Bleugh gets to treat the cast like garbage, kick and beat up Kaneki repeatedly, murder humans in broad daylight, doesn’t suffer significantly for making bad choices (like uhh murder), and we’re still expected to like her because she has a generic cute anime girl design.

- there’s also a lot of sexist and other gross gender-related themes in this, but that’s for another post, maybe.

also, the usual “don’t @ me about the following”:

- “you're being too critical, it’s not a character study”. yes it is

- “Not Everything Is ATLA” yes, isn’t it sad that a children’s show has better character development than a "seinen” series.

- “the author had health problems while he was writing it” yup, and that’s valid. Just like the criticisms of the series.

- “why are you even watching this if you have so many problems with it?” I haven’t watched anything this Edgy in awhile and it’s horror.

- “I like this series, which means you’re attacking me personally by criticizing it.’ sIgh

[sun-summoning]

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv

part v: in which there is a name

“Maybe I can come with you.”

“No.”

“Why not? Your mom loves me!”

“No.”

“But—“

“No!” Sasuke grumbled under his breath, already regretting having brought Naruto with him to KU Cafe to wait out for Tinder Girl. And also to work. Looking down at his course syllabus and how much of his textbook he actually skimmed, Sasuke was about three weeks behind on his readings. He broke out his highlighter and pencil, ready to mark some stuff on the pages to make himself feel like he was studying. “Fuck my life.”

“Are you already behind?” Naruto asked. He had his laptop open in front of him as he typed up his essay. Or, you know, browsed Imgur. “Didn’t class just start?”

“Didn’t you just shut up?”

“Didn’t you just let me come to lunch with your mom?”

Sasuke kicked him under the able and Naruto proceeded to kick him back. He wasn’t sure how much time they spent being idiots before something as loud and as blond as Naruto came up to their table and sat down. 

Ugh. It was Ino.

“Hey losers!” she yelled. Shikamaru followed behind her and sat down as well, grunting his greeting.

“Ugh,” Sasuke said none too subtly as Naruto said a proper hello.

Sasuke actually managed to focus because now Shikamaru was playing Candy Crush and Naruto and Ino were doing that thing where they chat and flirt and think no one else can tell how badly they want to bang. Soon after, one said something and the other giggled and then Sasuke was visibly cringing at them while Shikamaru stared at them blankly, just done. 

Ino proceeded to talk and talk, completely oblivious to the way Sasuke was looking at her like he wanted to kick her. 

She was talking about a friend that she wanted to set Shikamaru up with, describing her as really smart and really sweet. She might’ve said a name because then Shikamaru said he actually already knew her and so Ino said a fuck you for ruining her plan (as, you know, this was somehow Shikamaru’s problem).

Ino was so fucking annoying. And not in an endearing way that Sasuke might admit Naruto was (but only under the threat of having his junk dissolved by acid or some other equally horrifying scenario). No, Ino was the kind of person he stared at and wondered how they could talk without realizing how offensive their voice was to other people.

Her voice actually hurt his head. He didn’t hear her often because he wasn’t really the social type unless Naruto made him go somewhere, but she always had a way of making him want to wear headphones or jab q-tips into his ears none too gently. Back in high school, Naruto used to call her The Banshee. That was probably before he developed his weird crush on her. 

“--well what about you, Naruto? Want to date my friend?”

Sasuke looked up and saw the brief flash of hurt on Naruto’s face. It was quickly covered up by a smile though. “Can’t,” Naruto replied. “I have a date tonight.”

Sasuke couldn’t help but smirk because that was a petty move he never expected from Naruto and while his best friend certainly didn’t have a date tonight, judging by the way Ino was finally rendered silent, she seemed to think he did. 

Then she looked at him. Sasuke glared back at her and Ino glared at him too. “What about you?” she drawled, more so talking to herself. Then she smiled and she laughed and Sasuke thought his ears were bleeding. “Actually, nevermind. You’re not good enough.”

“Your face isn’t good enough,” Sasuke muttered. 

Ino looked ready to sass him back but he caught a glimpse of the clock hanging on the wall behind her and realized he had to go. 

It was time to meet with mother dearest, after all.

-

After leaving Naruto to the loud one and the lazy one, Sasuke cut across campus to get to the Senju Building where the Biology Department was located. He had his first-year bio class here and all the associated practicals in the building’s labs. Cutting around all the students waiting for the current classes to end so they could attend their own, Sasuke searched around for his mother but found someone else instead.

Tinder Girl.

There she was. Sasuke recognized that obnoxious pink hair, soft and shiny and the colour of cotton candy. It was pulled up into a bun with a few fallen strands framing her heart-shaped face. Her green eyes were slightly hidden behind a pair of glasses, but Sasuke remembered them from her photos and their near encounter at Karin’s. They reminded him of the shade of green Xerox paper. Or something. He shook his head, realized his comparisons were awful, and decided that it was time to stop being a creep lurking yards away from her and be...a creep that approached her? 

Sasuke took a step forward and froze. Shit. Was he being creepy? Shit. He totally was. Shit. 

It took Sasuke a moment to realize that Tinder Girl was talking to his mother. His mother. He watched as his mother handed her a pile of exam booklets and proceeded to say things that Tinder Girl was typing into her phone with one hand. Tinder Girl was a TA, but apparently she was one working for his mother. His mother!

Cursing, Sasuke pressed himself against the wall to make sure she wouldn’t be able to see him. It didn’t occur to him that the people who could see him probably thought he was crazy, but they were also irrelevant so whatever.

“Sasuke?”

His lips thinned as he turned and saw--

“Juugo?” Sasuke raised an eyebrow, surprised to see him there. He’d actually taken first-year biology with Juugo years before and from what he’d heard from Karin, this was their friend’s third time taking the course. Ideally he’d pass this time.

“Hey!” Juugo said, punching Sasuke’s shoulder in a way that he probably considered light. He grinned. “What are you doing here?” He gestured to the lab behind Sasuke. “Are you in my practical too?”

Sasuke frowned and wondered how that was a question. “I. No, Juugo, I am not in your practical.” 

“Oh, that’s a shame. We could’ve been partners! Maybe next week.”

“Huh?” Sasuke tried not to openly gape at Juugo because back in their first-year at KU, they were lab partners. “Right,” Sasuke replied. Figuring it would be best to hide in the crowd of students while waiting for his mother, Sasuke made an effort to catch up with Juugo. “How’s...your third time in this class going?”

Juugo actually grinned. “A lot better than the other times! Last year Karin was helping me but she got frustrated and bailed halfway through.” No one really blamed her. “But this time I got a tutor--oh, she’s right there!”

He pointed to where Sasuke had been looking earlier, and because fate had a love/hate relationship with him, he found Juugo pointing at Tinder Girl.

“She...” Sasuke swallowed thickly, tearing his eyes away from the girl waving goodbye to his mother and then turning to Juugo. “You know her?”

Juugo nodded. “Yep, she’s really helpful. She really knows her shit.”

“Does she.”

“You bet--”

“Juugo,” Sasuke interrupted. He spoke gravely while gripping Juugo’s arms. “I...I need a bio tutor. Can you give me her number? Or something?”

“Sure!”

“Fuck. Great. Thanks--”

“Sasuke!”

Turning around, Sasuke saw his mother waving at him. Behind him, Juugo was busy scrolling through his phone for contact info.

Sasuke meant to rush him, but then his mother called his name once again. Feeling every bit like a little boy being yelled at by his mother, Sasuke sighed heavily and told Juugo he’d see him later.

-

His mother took him to a place that would serve him something overpriced, tiny, and definitely lacking in carbs. Still, being with his mother meant she would be paying so Sasuke convinced her that they needed an appetizer and while he was eating his entree, he began planning for dessert.

“How’s father?” he asked, beginning at the top of their list of small talk questions for meals together. After all, this certainly wasn’t his first lunch alone with his nosy, nagging mother.

She scoffed and all but finished her glass of wine. “He’s fine,” she grumbled, signalling the waiter for a refill. 

“Stubborn as always?”

“Did you expect anything different?” Mikoto rolled her eyes. “How’s your brother?”

“Fine,” Sasuke echoed. “Don’t you, like, talk to him all the time? Doesn’t he work in your department?”

“Yes, but we don’t work together. Moreover, he doesn’t tell me anything.”

Sasuke wondered why she thought he would tell her anything. “Right. Well. He’s fine.”

The waiter arrived with her third (or was it fourth) glass and she was quick to sip it. “Honestly, the only updates he ever gives me are regarding his health concerns and that’s only because I’m his emergency contact.”

“What?” Sasuke wondered why his brother wouldn’t use him or Shisui. “Wait, what? Health concerns?”

Seeing his worry, Mikoto waved a well manicured hand. “Your brother’s fine -- well, mostly.” Her face contorts with utter disgust. “Just whatever venereal disease he deigned to pick up in this quarter. Honestly, as a mother I’m disgusted, but as a scientist I can’t help but be impressed that my own son managed to contract -- nay, maybe even create -- a brand new disease.”

“He...what?”

“Honestly,” his mother continued, not even remotely fazed by Sasuke’s concern or confusion. “ A new STD before a grandchild! Has he no shame? No sense?” She glowered into her glass and before Sasuke knew it, it was empty. “Your brother...” She trailed off into a long string of curses and when she was finally satisfied with her grumbling, she looked up at Sasuke with a perfectly painted smile. “And how are your studies, darling?”

“Really?”

“Hm?”

“Seriously? You’re going to completely ignore the fact that you told me Itachi is dirtier than I thought and try to talk about school?”

“That’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

“Fine. School is fine.”

“Fine?” she echoed. “The last time your studies were fine, you went on academic probation.”

“My studies are fine,” Sasuke insisted. He sighed heavily. “I got some grades back and I’m doing great!”

“Define ‘great,’ Sasuke.”

“Bs.”

Mikoto pursed her lips but didn’t say anything further. “Honestly, darling, you should thank the gods for nepotism and privilege. Not everyone gets to be born into old money like you--”

“What the shit, mother.”

“--and if you don’t clean up your act, I’ll--” Mikoto cut herself off and broke into a doting smile. “Oh, I can never stay mad at you! Please just finish your degree already so we can get you to work with your father and we can leave your academic failures in the past.”

He was mildly offended by her words, but it wasn’t like he could fight back. 

Sasuke was smart. He was clever and he knew what he needed to and he was naturally talented at any task thrown at him and honestly if he tried, like really, truly tried, he could ace everything. He was just, like, lazy. Not always, of course. If he put his mind to it, he could do it. But if Sasuke didn’t care and if Sasuke didn’t have a goal in mind, he could literally watch cat videos all day until he withered away. 

“Are you, perhaps, seeing anyone?” his mother asked, changing the topic.

“I...what?”

Mentally skimming the list of standard small talk questions generally exchanged at lunch with his mother, Sasuke began to panic because this was not one of them. For all her frustrations with Itachi’s social life and how frequently she complained about it, not once did she ever ask about Sasuke’s. Maybe it was because she knew he was too awkward to bother with a love life. And he was kind of an asshole. Mostly he was an asshole.

“Naruto, maybe?”

Sasuke gagged. “I’d sooner cut off my own...” He paused, trying to think of a proper exaggeration, “internet access.”

Mikoto rolled her eyes but smiled. Teasing Sasuke about his relationship with Naruto would never get old. 

“You can’t blame a mother for asking, dear. You’re not getting any younger, and I would prefer to know I’m leaving you in capable hands.”

“My hands are perfectly capable of taking care of...myself.” He grimaced, thinking about his phrasing. But then he saw an opportunity. “Except, mother, I too think it is important that I am left in capable hands because you also are not getting any younger.”

She levelled him with a glare but Sasuke smirked because he had an idea.

“Yes. Say, mother, do you maybe know anyone that might be interested in...me?”

His question visibly caught her off guard and judging by the sudden fear in her eyes, she was probably thinking of people within her friend group of older women. 

“If you think,” she began in a low voice, “for even a moment that I let you pull the same stunt your brother did with that...woman--” She had to pause to take a deep, calming breath. “You are wrong, mister!”

“What, no!” 

Sasuke sighed because of course his older brother’s exploits with that art dealer his parents were fond of had to ruin his current search for Tinder Girl. If Sasuke recalled correctly, Itachi had an affair with some cougar. An older, married woman named Konan, and his parents were furious when they found out. Although, Sasuke thought with a snicker, not as furious as her cuckolded husband must have been.

He considered just telling his mother the truth. Something along the lines of “Hey, I was coming to see you earlier and saw you talking to this girl with green eyes. You know, not with pink hair. But I mean I wasn’t even looking at her hair so maybe her hair is pink, I don’t know, whatever. Anyway. She was, uh, cute. Do you know her?” Saying that in his head actually sounded fairly normal after the babbling was edited out. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but his awkwardness and the reality that he would be getting an introduction from his mother occurred to him and he bit his tongue.

Okay. Okay so maybe he needed a different plan.

-

After lunch, Sasuke went straight to the house where he knew Juugo lived with Suigetsu and some other guys. He knocked, and after receiving no answer, tentatively opened the door and, fortunately, it was unlocked. Sure, that was entirely inappropriate, but the whole reason Sasuke was here was inappropriate anyway. Besides, he knew everyone who lived here so at least no one would think he was a serial killer in the event that they came across him. But then again, knowing him didn’t mean he wasn’t a serial killer. Sasuke paused to remind himself he wasn’t a serial killer and then considered the possibility that Juugo or one of the others living here might be a serial killer instead.

Suddenly a little bit nervous, Sasuke decided to call out, “Juugo?”

No one replied, so Sasuke headed down to the basement where he knew Juugo’s bedroom -- and not a serial killer’s torture chamber -- was. This was so dumb. God, this was so dumb. But Juugo knew Tinder Girl and so Sasuke had to do this.

Unsurprisingly, Juugo wasn’t too far from his bong and was busy munching away on some cookies.

“Yo,” Sasuke greeted, getting his attention.

“Sasuke!” Juugo held out the bag of cookies but Sasuke shook his head. “What are you doing here?” 

In a surprising show of hyperactivity that made Sasuke question what Juugo had taken, he proceeded to run around his room, opening doors and drawers in search of something. 

“So,” Sasuke began, “earlier you mentioned your biology tutor...”

Juugo nodded and made a vague noise of acknowledgement, but his head, left arm, and shoulder were also under his bed, so it was possible he just sniffed something unfortunate. 

“Juugo?”

“Yeah?” 

Juugo continued whatever search he was conducting under his bed and Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fuck my life. Juugo. Dude. Okay, what are you doing?”

Finally, Juugo made a noise of triumph and stood up with a wide grin on his face. “I’ve been looking everywhere for this!”

‘This’ happened to be a big purple backpack with as many patches sewn onto it as there were holes in places that probably saw a lot of wear and tear, which annoyed Sasuke because logically the patches should have gone over the holes, but they weren’t, so that meant they were only there for aesthetic and Juugo didn’t know what their actual purpose was. “Like for fuck’s sake,” Sasuke grumbled, eyeing the patches disdainfully. “Are you packing?”

“Yeah,” Juugo said, holding the bag with one hand while using the other to pull things out of his closet and stuff them inside the pack. “I decided I’m going backpacking in Sound.”

“Why?”

“Because, you know… yolo.”

“What?”

“Yolo.”

“That isn’t a valid response to everything.”

“It’s an acronym.”

Briefly, Sasuke wondered if Juugo even knew what an acronym was.

“And I only live once. I mean why shouldn’t I go, Sasuke?”

“Um, because I know for a fact that you spend a fair chunk of your student loans on weed so it’s kind of just irresponsible to say fuck it and backpack for shits. It’s not a bad thing to consider your credit score before making decisions.”

“Oh, Sasuke.” Juugo shook his head. He smiled a smile that infuriated Sasuke even further because of how damn chill he looked. “You can’t always be so responsible.”

“I’d hardly say I’m responsible.” He just wasn’t irresponsible. Sasuke shrugged. “Whatever, man. Can you just answer my question from earlier?”

“You had a question?”

Sasuke was about to tear out some of his hair in frustration when Juugo lit up and grabbed his phone.

“Right. My tutor. You wanted her contact info, right?”

“I...yes.” 

Juugo ripped a sheet out of his notebook and proceeded to write some stuff on it. 

Sasuke blinked when Juugo handed it to him. He didn’t even look at what Juugo had written just, too busy scanning the contents of the page that were probably things Juugo would need to study later on. “Um. Don’t you need this?”

“Huh?” Juugo shook his head. “Nah, I have her number in my phone.”

“No, I mean the other stuff.”

Juugo actually looked perplexed. “What...” He stared at Sasuke like he was an idiot. God, maybe he fucking was, coming to Juugo of all fucking people. “No, I already have her email address too.”

“No, I--you know what. Sure. Fuck it. Okay.” Sasuke figured he should make some sort of physical gesture of gratefulness so he patted Juugo’s shoulder, narrating his actions with, “Pat, pat.” Satisfied, Sasuke nodded to himself. “Right. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome!”

-

Sakura Haruno.

Her name was Sakura Haruno.

Like any logical person, the first thing Sasuke did was Google her. He searched her up and, given that her name was probably listed on pages by KU’s Biology Department, the first page was littered with info regarding her research projects, her awards, and, of course, her office hours. She was young and brilliant apparently. And when Sasuke made the transition to Images, he even found a photo of her standing beside his mother and some other people. That made him uncomfortable, so he wasted no time skipping to the next few photos. He came across one of the selfies he had seen on her Tinder page and barely fought back his grin.

“Are you looking at porn?” Naruto asked.

“No, dumbass,” Sasuke replied, aiming for polite considering he was, after all, hanging out at Naruto’s apartment right now. He needed wifi since he’d already used up all his data for the month, and he wasn’t particularly inclined to go home yet since he knew Itachi was around.

Sasuke just couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe he actually made progress without scaring the shit out of Hinata Hyuuga or having to suck up to Karin. He did it. He did it.

Naruto laid his head on Sasuke’s shoulder and took a glimpse at the current image on his phone. He paid no heed to the way Sasuke tensed up, clearly uncomfortable with the contact. “That’s her?” Naruto asked, already knowing the answer. The pink hair was a giveaway. “That’s Tinder Girl?”

“Yeah.” Sasuke frowned. “Her name is Sakura Haruno.”

“But like...can we just call her Tinder Girl?” Sasuke didn’t protest and Naruto looked overly excited to keep the nickname. “Hey, don’t you feel a bit creepy?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“Doesn’t it kind of suck to miss out on the spontaneity though?” Naruto drew back, probably sensing that he used up Sasuke’s daily quota for physical interaction. “Don’t you just want to like...just meet someone and then get to know them?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s...that’s really dumb.”

“No it’s not. Fuck you.”

Sasuke snorted, considering the idea of making requisite small talk. “I hate surprises. This is just, like, basic recon before I have to go into a social situation.”

“That’s sad.”

“You’re sad.”

“No, honestly, you’re sad.”

Unfazed, Sasuke shrugged. Naruto called it sad but Sasuke called it smart, and, honestly, pragmatic. It was a way of gauging whether or not the search for Tinder Girl was worth it. And of course it was worth it because--

“I just found her Instagram!”

Apparently no longer opposed to the Tinder Girl search, Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s wrist to look at his phone as it went from the selfie he found on images to her actual profile on his browser. He opened her profile on the actual app and they sat there, stunned with the progress. 

“I found her fucking Instagram,” Sasuke whispered. He scrolled through her pictures, careful not to press anything he shouldn’t, finding a variety of pictures of food, of nature, of herself, of her friends, of--

“Wait,” Naruto said beside him. “Is that...”

Sasuke knew what Naruto was looking at because he too was praying it wasn’t.

It was her. The Banshee. 

Sasuke had to groan because he didn’t just see her once on Tinder Girl’s Instagram account. Nay. Ino Yamanaka was in just about every other selfie Sakura Haruno had, making the same silly faces, doing the same activities. Even pictures of food that Sakura Haruno posted had Ino Yamamaka tagged in them. This, Sasuke realized, meant that they were, most likely, really good friends. Best friends, even. This didn’t have to be a bad thing, but, Sasuke recalled their interactions earlier this morning and knew she would never be of help.

Beyond considering Sasuke a prissy little fucker, a sentiment Sasuke shared regarding her, The Banshee had a complex relationship with Sasuke’s own best friend, which meant getting her to help him would probably come with a price. 

Actually, now that he thought about it, it wasn’t that complex. They were fuck buddies that thought they were subtle about it in front of others but who flirted so painfully obviously that they were kind of infuriating to watch. 

Dammit. Sasuke took a deep breath. Ino was friends with Tinder Girl. 

Fucking hell.

It occurred to Sasuke that he might have to whore out Naruto to Ino for information. Turning to look at his best friend, Sasuke genuinely considered the option before realizing that that would be inappropriate.

“Although...”

Sasuke smirked. He had a plan.

-

“I found her fucking Instagram!” Sasuke yelled when he came home that night. He saw a pair of high heels at the door that were too small to indicate that Itachi had picked up crossdressing, so he figured his flavour of the week was probably over. Without a care for their privacy, Sasuke pushed his brother’s bedroom door open and held his phone out. “Look!”

As expected, Itachi was with someone blonde and blue-eyed and half-dressed. She made a noise of indignation and Sasuke made a noise of not giving a fuck.

Itachi frowned at him, but humoured him nevertheless. “What is it?”

“Sakura Haruno,” Sasuke said smugly. He began scrolling through the photos. Seeing a familiar one — the one that had caught his attention when he first found her on Tinder — Sasuke pressed it to open it and turned his phone to his brother.

His brother seemed to wince at the sight of it, so Sasuke drew the phone back, confused. It wasn’t until he saw the red heart beneath the selfie that Sasuke realized—

“You just liked her photo.”

-

tbc

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note: i’m sorry this took nearly two years and i’m sorry if like i’m not funny anymore. i tried. also i was sick and watching archer for the past few days so i apologize if the lunch scene felt off.