#And honestly I'd be fine if it was just one thing! But no it's a weird fucked up web of loving stuff!
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Day 3: Reciprocation
Itzy Yeji x male reader smut
words: 6,714 12 Days of Praelmas Masterlist
If there's one thing you've learned dealing with the rich, the famous and the devious, it's that there's always a deal to be made.
-
"Not often that I see a girl like you in a place like this."
"Well, you're an incredibly difficult man to track down."
It's the girl who's supposed to be on the main page of your site starting tomorrow morning. You gesture for Yeji to sit by your side, and while there are more than enough empty seats around you, she prefers to stand. What is this, a fucking power move?
"Well, you could have just called my office and made yourself an appointment."
It doesn't amuse her. She simply brings her hands up to rest on her hips as she looks at you.
"Look, let's get to the point. You can't post the article." There is something rather endearing in watching how she talks to you. Her hips are cocked and her face bears a look of determination, but she lacks confidence. You're not sure she even believes herself. Maybe she's just hoping that you'll cave.
You meet her eyes and hold her gaze for a few moments, searching for a crack in her armour. It's hard to say for certain when the only lighting in this club is what little neon they have on display, but there seems to be something else hiding behind her stare. A nervous energy, perhaps. So, you correct her, "I can post the article."
"Look— I, I have money." She takes a single stride towards you, with her long slender legs of which only part of her thigh is covered by the bottom of her dress. That thing clings to them like it does every other inch of her body. One hell of a figure.
"I'm well aware."
"Okay then, how much money will it take for you to drop the article?"
"Money doesn't compare to an article like this one—you know that. Come on," you lean forward a bit. "You should be smarter than that."
"How much?!" Yeji says again. There's an edge to her voice now and a stern look in her eyes. She must feel that you're not taking her seriously—honestly, you aren't. You can't count the number of times an agency has tried to block an article by simply throwing money your way. The novelty has worn off.
"Listen, Miss Hwang, I appreciate the effort you have gone through to manufacture a meeting with me, however, just like I told your PR team, I'm not for sale. Should you want to avoid this sort of thing, then I'd recommend being a little more discreet the next time you want to fuck around." You glance at the door leading out. The exit sign above is blinking erratically, but it serves its intended purpose nonetheless. "I'll see you in tomorrow morning's news."
"No."
"No?" You raise an eyebrow. She may be a star and she may make people go crazy in more ways than one, but if you've learned something about yourself over the years, it's that you aren't as easily swayed by beauty alone, nor impressed by fame.
Yeji remains silent, her eyes looking down to the table in front of you and your mind instantly starts conjuring up scenarios where the girl goes into a screaming fit or starts throwing a tantrum until security drags her sorry ass out the door.
Her head snaps up again. "Fine." Yeji turns sideways and steps around the small table. It becomes apparent that she plans on sitting by your side, after all. She isn't exactly looking at you as she plops herself onto the cushioned bench. "You said 'next time', right?" She begins quietly.
In spite of yourself, a smile appears on your face when you see the wheels turn inside of Yeji's head. "I don't think I understand."
"Yes, you do," Yeji replies dryly. And with the certainty now back in her voice, it appears you've misjudged her.
When you remain silent for a few moments, Yeji eventually gives in and takes a quick, inconspicuous breath before looking up again. Her face is but inches from your own. "Have sex with me tonight."
It takes effort not to burst into laughter in response to such an absurd offer, and as a result, the amusement is probably pretty damn clear in the tone of your reply. "You're cute."
"I'm serious."
You look the girl in the eyes once more, leaning backwards. "You know how much trouble you could get into for trying something like this, right?"
Yeji's jaw clenches momentarily. "Yeah."
You gaze down along her body again. The skin on her thighs seems smooth and silky; definitely worth a closer inspection, and you would be lying if you said the knowledge of her dirty hook-ups didn't have your mind wondering about all the ways she might be willing to work her body in an attempt to sway you. You wonder if she likes it rough; likes having someone grab hold of those black locks of hers and yank her head back. Likes having a cock slammed down her throat. Your thoughts quickly go into a tailspin which has you imagining Yeji crawling towards you dressed up in nothing but skimpy lingerie, a hungry smile plastered across her face and a yearning desire to find out what sort of mess you could turn her into.
"So," you begin quietly. "I don't release an article about the K-pop star who keeps sneaking out into hotels to get herself fucked—and in exchange, I get to sleep with the K-pop star who keeps sneaking out into hotels to get herself fucked. Do I have that right?"
You see the embarrassment cross Yeji's features briefly, yet she still manages to bite out her reply with certainty: "Yes."
For some reason, even though she's been found out and forced into making such an absurd deal, she refuses to lower her gaze away from yours, almost daring you to judge her. You've seen her music videos online—goddamnit, everyone has—and she's sexy as hell. No one would deny that, and she looks stunning in that black dress of hers. It really compliments her figure. Legs go on for days, a toned physique and looking down the front of her dress as she leans into you, a pretty little pair of tits hidden somewhere in there as well.
"I've been propositioned before, you know, but usually that's to get their face on the front page, not off it." You cock your head at her. "How badly do you want this dropped, anyway?"
"What are you trying to say?"
You lean back slowly, deliberately, resting your shoulders against the seat as you feel Yeji's eyes study your every move. Despite the terrible lighting, you can tell she's biting her lip nervously. She's so close that the scent coming off her fills the air around you. It's a pleasant smell. One you wouldn't mind having all over your bed.
"I'll be blunt." Your eyes fall to her chest and you take note of how Yeji squirms under your stare. A tiny smile appears on your lips. "I'd love to fuck you. Hell, anyone in their right mind would love to fuck you. You're a very attractive girl, after all." You nod in her direction. "So, that part will happen if I agree to this deal of yours, however, there's one thing you haven't accounted for."
Yeji meets your stare. Her voice is low, yet resolute. "Which is?"
"You have no idea of whether or not I'm actually going to uphold my end of the bargain."
She pauses in silence and then moves her hand across the table, scooping up your drink and raising it to her full lips. As she knocks back the remainder, the way her slender neck stretches makes you wish you could wrap your hands around it.
The glass hits the table and Yeji licks her lips softly. The sight has you licking your own and for just a second, the both of you simply gaze at each other in silence, almost sizing each other up. Yeji finally shifts closer to you until she's right by your side. Her breasts press up against your shoulder and you feel her warmth on your arm.
One of her delicate hands lands gently in your lap and slides upwards onto your thigh where she starts to draw small circles with her fingertips. You wonder if she notices the slight hitch in your breath as she touches you. "We can go to your office. Sign a document. Legally binding. Non-disclosure. And agree to write a favourable piece about me. You can send out the request to your best columnist there and then. And then you can take me right there." Her words come out in soft whispers and her eyes dart over your face, trying to read your reaction.
Yeji is young and beautiful and she's clearly horny enough to get herself into this kind of mess. It doesn't come as too much of a surprise to you, then, when you feel a delicate fingertip trace over your crotch. "Take you?"
"On your desk. Over your desk," she elaborates shamelessly and with a hint of cheek in her voice. There's a smug expression on her face. She's enjoying herself but also relieved to be getting through to you. "However you want me."
"So, it's an exchange? A dirty deal done in the darkness?"
Yeji smirks. "I prefer to call it reciprocation."
-
Friday night in the office and it still has the passive hum of life, though not much of it. Cutting through the air is the loud clack of Yeji's high heels as she follows you silently past empty room after empty room. The interns putting in the long hours are all on the lower floors, giving you just enough discretion.
You glance back briefly at her before rounding the corner. Just like you had imagined, she seems rather timid now. Head held slightly down and glancing around the place, almost like she's embarrassed to be here with you.
Finally, you reach your private office near the far wall of the floor and wave Yeji inside. As you step up to your desk and turn, Yeji closes the door behind herself and watches you intently. The soft light in here gives you a much better opportunity to appreciate her.
"Come." You gesture her over while simultaneously logging into your PC.
It only takes a few simple clicks to bring up a basic confidentiality agreement which you proceed to edit. "As requested," you begin. "This agreement prohibits me from writing anything related to your numerous encounters with nameless men and women in various hotels throughout Seoul. Failure to abide by these terms enables you to take legal action against me and my firm to any extent deemed necessary."
She places her palms on the desk as you turn the monitor to show her. She reads it. You read here. Leaning forward has the front of her dress hang open a bit further. It's the first glance you get of her red bra underneath and the swell of her chest, just big enough for handfuls. She sees your wandering eyes, yet continues to scan the terms of the contract. It makes you curious if the idea of being looked at like some cheap slut turns her on. Maybe you should try referring to her as such. Would she object? Or encourage?
Yeji nods in approval and you click 'print'. She looks past you, watching it emerge from the machine.
"That's all we need," you say, never looking away from her. There's something mesmerising about her eyes. They're large, they're dark and they tend to draw you in. "Now I can't expose your whorish tendencies."
She looks offended momentarily. "Whorish?"
"Two months. Forty-two hotel visits were recorded. Thirty-five different partners." The chair rolls away as you push it back and stand up, towering over her frame. "Yes, you're fucking whorish, Yeji. Our research was thorough."
"I'm just having fun." She stops leaning on the desk. You both take a step in unison, beginning to round the desk while staring each other down. The moment feels tense. "There's nothing wrong with that."
"Oh, I agree completely."
Another step. Another inch towards each other.
"There's no shame in being a bit of a slut. An incredibly beautiful slut."
A third.
You're face to face. Those heels make her almost as tall as you, and you glance at Yeji's lips as the tip of her tongue suddenly darts out over them. The only sound between the two of you is your shared breathing. Yeji tilts her head back slightly and gazes into your eyes, waiting expectantly for you to act upon your desire. Waiting for you to throw her onto the desk and fuck the living shit out of her, just as she asked for.
You wait.
Her lower lip disappears beneath the bite of her teeth.
Wait.
A sudden flush rises up onto Yeji's cheeks, undoubtedly born from her frustration, but you don't miss the excitement hiding within it either. Then, Yeji takes another step forward, one which has you taking hold of her waist, pushing yourself hard up against her body.
Almost instantly, the pair of you go from hesitant to frantic, moving without a single word being spoken between either of you.
Your mouths meet in an open-mouthed kiss of heat, passion and impatience. There's a gasp coming from somewhere, a mixture of a moan as the two of you collide. It takes more willpower than expected not to shove your tongue down Yeji's throat as you feel hers slide against yours in an instant. Fingernails dig into your neck; not hard enough to leave marks, yet not soft enough to be mistaken as anything else than a woman showing what she wants. It's exactly what you wanted to do when you first saw her tonight.
She bites on your lip, sucks on it and goes straight back in. You grab hold of her tightly and shuffle her backwards towards the desk. You can barely restrain yourself. A groan rises up in the depths of your stomach when Yeji parts her legs slightly, welcoming your body in between them.
Every part of you tells you to bend her over and start hammering yourself into her, yet there's still one last detail you must attend to. You break free of Yeji's grasp and shove her roughly down onto your desk.
Her hair fans out around her head and her gaze looks darker somehow, more lustrous under this light. You follow her shape, down, over the bumps of her breasts, the dip of her waist, the curve of her hips and then to the hem of her dress, where bare thigh begins again. She shudders under the weight of your stare. Legs falling apart, invitingly.
You feel Yeji tremble under your tender touch as you run your hand up the outside of her thigh and push up the fabric of her dress. The tips of your fingers bump along the rim of her underwear before reaching her hip where you trace shapes absentmindedly. She's smooth and silky everywhere.
"What is it?" Yeji asks breathlessly when you don't move for a few moments. Your attention remains firmly locked on that final detail. The thin lace material covering her cunt.
You look her dead in the eyes and curl your fingers around it. "Just wondering how many different people have had you like this."
The red lace is pulled aside. Yeji stares at you, seemingly taken aback by your bluntness as you lean down a little further and angle her leg to the side, letting cool air hit every inch of her bare sex. And it's a lovely sight, all things considered. Neat, trimmed and glistening wet. Your hand moves across her thigh to hold her in place. "Usually I'm on top," Yeji replies, finally regaining her confidence.
"You'd rather be riding me, huh?"
"Yes." Yeji's answer comes immediately. Your cock is stiffening already at the mere thought of having her small body bouncing in your lap as she rides your length like a bitch in heat.
She runs her own hands up her slender frame, feeling up the sides of her own waist, skirting around those perky tits and letting out the smallest whimper of anticipation as she caresses the side of her neck. Her eyelashes flutter with desire. It seems the girl enjoys being admired just as much as you enjoy admiring.
"Don't worry, you'll get to ride it soon enough." Slowly, you drag your middle finger up between her folds, making sure you put enough pressure down against the sweet little bud of nerves to make her arch her back at the sensation. A deep inhale catches itself in the back of Yeji's throat when you sink your fingertip inside of her, only for it to turn into a disappointed sigh when you withdraw.
She bites her lip in embarrassment, no doubt mortified that she couldn't keep quiet at such a simple action, although that doesn't stop you from repeating the movement, applying more pressure and then sinking further into her. This time you withdraw and then taste your finger curiously. If the sweet scent wafting off her wasn't enough indication, she tastes as good as she looks.
"How are you so wet already?" you ask. "All from thinking about getting railed over my desk, hmm?" You ask teasingly, lowering your mouth down closer to her pussy and holding your breath for a moment. You can feel the warmth coming off her.
"It's exciting."
"What, fucking a stranger?"
"Yes," Yeji says bluntly. She wets her lips. "There's nothing quite like giving yourself up to someone completely random."
Your hand slides down her calf and gently pulls off her heel. As soon as it hits the ground, it's replaced with a slow and tender kiss on the inside of her ankle. The skin is just as smooth and supple as the rest of her. From here you have a much better view of how her delicate little flower pulses in longing.
Your head dips and you suck hard on Yeji's inner thigh. You delight in the surprised yelp leaving her mouth as you rake your teeth over her soft skin, pulling at it before letting go. It leaves behind a lovely purple bruise which you blow cold air over, soothing the irritated skin. It makes you smile, knowing that mark will remain for a week, to be seen by whoever she fucks next.
"Do you get excited thinking about having me join the list of cocks pounding away at you?"
Without allowing Yeji time to think, your tongue finds her clit and starts drawing shapes around it. "Yes!" You hear her hiss. Your left arm reaches under her thigh and keeps her pinned down to the table while your right does the same, only giving your tongue freedom to dance over her wet cunt.
You sample her thoroughly, getting her used to the feeling of your warm tongue running over every part of her. You apply more pressure to your work once you notice Yeji bucking her hips upwards to grind against your mouth.
"Oh shit." Yeji is panting heavily now, gasping for breath whenever you pay special attention to her clit. Her thighs quiver every so often, tensing around your head. "Don't—don't stop."
Yeji has the nicest legs you've ever laid eyes on. The way they wrap tightly around your head, squeezing the air out of you when you suck down on her swollen clit, it feels heavenly.
Suddenly, Yeji's hips thrust forward, throwing your rhythm off momentarily.
"Mmm, oh—fuck," she whimpers as you feel her body shake and quiver underneath your touch. Your pace doesn't slacken even once throughout.
"Fuck," Yeji whines louder this time. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum."
Already?
You put more pressure on her hips, keeping them pinned down as best as possible, whilst your tongue attacks her with fervent desperation, spurred on by Yeji's declaration. As the seconds pass by, Yeji becomes more vocal, though not with her words—with her actions. Her breathing picks up noticeably. Soon it becomes short and ragged. Her chest heaves. Her fingers claw into the surface below her. Her spine curves beautifully and her lips hang open wide, allowing loud cries to escape her.
She practically sings out for you as her nails scratch at your desk, looking for something to hold on to, something to ground her. Her whole body tenses up for several moments.
Then it happens.
Her mouth opens up wide yet no sound comes out, her back arches almost unnaturally and her juices coat your chin. The silence hangs in the air, heavy, palpable as her walls contract in ecstasy. Then it's finally broken with a loud snap. One of her fake nails pops off and flies across the room as she grips too hard on the edge of the desk.
Then she moans. Guttural, wanton, unrestrained, absolutely filthy. It fills the room, reverberating back to you in a delicious chorus of hedonism and pleasure. She lies there limp with her eyes shut. Her mouth open. Panting heavily. Basking in the glow.
"So easily?" you ask quietly. Yeji takes a deep breath, trying to steady her heart rate. Your hands leave her hips, caressing her trembling flesh, sliding upwards, running up her dress and over the curve of her waist until you reach her shoulders. You tug the straps down the length of her arms and lean closer, pushing the soft material down to reveal the top of her matching red lingerie. Your hand cups the back of her head. She instinctively knows to lift it.
You lower your lips down to her collarbone as you reach behind her to unzip her dress. The sensation of your kisses against her neck draws another moan out of Yeji. A quiet one this time, however. Gentle. Contended.
You kiss upwards, planting several against the underside of her jaw and the corners of her lips. "I can't stop myself," she whispers, opening her eyes just in time for you to press your lips against hers, tasting the lingering sweetness in your mouth. She smiles.
"Let's get you out of that dress," you say and she nods in agreement. "Up," you order softly and Yeji complies, lifting herself high enough for you to pull the material down her waist and over the length of her thighs. It falls to the ground in a heap at her feet. All that remains is the expensive-looking red underwear set she chose for this occasion.
The two of you exchange looks. She bites her lip. She can see the burning lust raging within your eyes. You don't care if it gives the game away.
There's an absolutely wicked smile that draws across her lips as you start to unbutton your shirt. Her voice is all sultry seduction when she says, "I've been meaning to ask you, are you always swayed so easily?"
"Honestly? Not really," you respond calmly, watching how her eyes eagerly take in your torso as you shrug off your clothing. "Maybe there is something about you that's just..." you trail off, unsure of how to end the sentence.
Yeji sits up on the edge of the desk and throws her arms around your neck, dragging you in closer so that your bodies connect. You feel her lips press against your chest in soft kisses. A finger trails over your abdomen, drawing patterns over your skin before moving downwards. "Yes?"
"Different." Your belt is quickly undone and dropped alongside her dress. Nimble fingers begin unbuttoning your trousers. You run your hands through her hair, appreciating how silky it feels running through your fingers.
Yeji has her gaze focused between your bodies, on her hands as they push your jeans down to the floor and you notice the change in her breathing the moment she wraps her hand around your cock.
She kisses her way up to your neck where her lips tickle your skin as she mumbles: "In a good way?"
Yeji presses the flat of her palm against the base of your erection, rubbing slowly. Your head tilts backwards slightly and you allow yourself a low groan. There's a warm puff of air as she giggles quietly against your neck.
"In a great way," you answer.
"Good," she purrs, suddenly tightening her grip on you and giving you several deliberate strokes. You watch intently as Yeji runs her thumb over the tip of your dick, circling it a few times before continuing with her motions. She leans closer, wrapping her legs around your body and placing her mouth by your ear. "I know what I said earlier about loving to ride a cock and all that," her voice is filled with lust. Pure, unbridled desire. "But honestly? I'd do just about anything right now to have you fuck me against this desk."
And that does it for you.
All semblance of control vanishes entirely in a heartbeat.
You drag her from her perch, only to turn her around and push her right back against the desk. Yeji bends over the edge and places both her palms flat atop it. You watch her toned legs move apart as she spreads them invitingly. Your hand reaches out to rest on her ass.
Soft. Round. Supple. Just begging to be fucked. Your dick rests comfortably between her cheeks, which are covered by the flimsiest piece of lace you've ever seen. The pair of you groan together in anticipation at the sensation of feeling each other so intimately. The anticipation of what is soon to come.
"You want me to fuck you, huh?" you ask.
Yeji turns her head to look at you, dark strands of black hair hanging before her beautiful, desperate eyes. "Please."
She waits expectantly as you move back just enough to hook your fingers into her underwear and pull them down slowly, revealing the pretty little cunt you had tasted earlier. The desk is ever so slightly too tall for her, and her long legs stretch to rest on her tiptoes.
You run your hand down between Yeji's pert cheeks, delighting in the gasp of relief leaving her mouth as you cup her heat. Your fingers slip through her slick, coating themselves with her natural arousal before one sinks inside effortlessly. You push it deep, drawing a content sigh from her lips as your digit bottoms out.
A second follows shortly after and she clenches hard around the pair of them.
"Your cock," Yeji demands. You curl your fingers inside of her, delighted by how she struggles to speak when you graze her weak spots. "Want it..."
"But this is fun," you state simply, continuing to explore every inch of her, learning which places cause the biggest reactions and relishing in her quiet hums of satisfaction every time you stimulate them. You'd be lying if you said it didn't make your cock pulse with the need to be inside her. That warm wetness wrapped snugly around your fingers would feel downright amazing around you.
Yeji wriggles her body, pressing her ass against you and whimpering as your digits push inside again. "Please... your cock." Your eyes drop from the beauty bent over in front of you and focus instead on the sight of your fingers disappearing repeatedly between those gorgeous legs. How her muscles clench and her toes curl against the carpet with each and every motion of your digits inside her. She looks ready. She feels ready.
"Well, seeing as you're asking so nicely—"
You slip your fingers out. The whine of loss from Yeji barely has time to fade as you grab hold of her ass with both hands, spread it out, line yourself up with her cunt and sink inside without hesitation. Fuck it. Why go slow?
"Oh god," Yeji moans as your hips meet. Her knuckles turn white as she claws at the surface of the desk in an effort to cope with the feeling of fullness that she's clearly experiencing right now. Her eyes widen and she bites hard into the back of her lip as her cunt stretches around you, accommodating you perfectly. She exhales deeply.
It's all worth it—the workplace compromise. This moment right here where your thick cock rests deep inside of Hwang Yeji's warm, wet cunt. Finally. And holy fucking hell—it's everything you could've ever asked for.
"I knew you'd feel so fucking good," you murmur, trailing your hands up Yeji's slender figure, feeling her back tense slightly when she lets out a small moan of agreement. Your fingers tangle into her long hair, wrap it around your fist, give a harsh tug to pull her head backwards, earning a sharp intake of air—and then you start rutting your hips into hers. Long, forceful strokes fill the air with repeated claps of skin slapping against skin.
The choked moans which tumble from Yeji's lips are music to your ears, encouraging you to keep her pinned down against your desk with a strong hand on the small of her back. Your fingertips press into her flawless skin hard enough to bruise, yet neither of you cares—not when there are far more important matters to attend to. Namely, pounding Yeji's brains out and filling her tight little pussy with ropes of hot cum.
So, you pick up your pace, quickening the tempo and making sure each thrust of your hips goes harder than the previous. Her mouth hangs open in a silent scream with each movement of your body against hers. Every slap of your hips against her ass elicits a reaction.
You're already addicted to her. Everything about Yeji makes you want to hold nothing back, and as you pull yourself out only to slam back inside her depths, you can't help but notice the absolute debauchery dripping from her words when she begs: "Harder. Fuck me harder."
And who are you to refuse her request? She looks incredible anyway, but seeing her eyes screw shut in bliss while a strand of saliva escapes past her open mouth? Nothing would convince you to let up now.
The constant clatter of objects rattling and shifting across the surface of your desk adds a nice soundtrack to the experience. So do the increasingly frequent moans spilling freely from Yeji's lips, each one higher-pitched than the last. They spur you on. Give you the incentive to chase after her pleasure.
And then you feel the telltale clamping down of her walls around you. Your cock is held tightly in her warmth, refusing to relinquish its grasp on you until you've filled her with cum. Until you've pumped your load deep inside of her wanting cunt. You know it's coming and you adjust accordingly. Forcing yourself to maintain rhythm as you pound her pussy into submission.
You yank on her hair and tug her upwards, forcing her back to crash against your torso. You bring your other hand to her chest, sliding beneath the fabric of her bra to cup at her tit. Her hands desperately search for but fail to find, purchase on the desk. She's helplessly suspended between your grasp and your cock as she cums. Helpless to do anything except take it. Take what she's given.
An indecent series of shrieks and wails erupts from somewhere deep within her chest as Yeji's body seizes up and convulses violently against yours. It sets you off. You bury yourself hilt-deep inside of her and explode. Your vision goes blurry, your toes curl, your jaw clenches shut and your teeth grind painfully together.
It takes everything within you not to collapse forwards on top of the girl you're filling to the brim, instead relying solely on the strength of your grip to stay upright as your cock jerks erratically inside of her, pulsating again and again, releasing stream after stream of creamy spunk deep into her.
As soon as the world stops spinning and the fog starts clearing from your mind, you're met with the sight of Hwang Yeji trying desperately to regain any semblance of control over her own body as well. She's slumped atop your desk, panting heavily, her body twitching occasionally.
You lean down, peppering a gentle trail of kisses down the side of her neck, stopping briefly at the space just below her ear where you whisper, "You look stunning like this."
It takes Yeji several seconds before she manages a reply. She eventually opens her eyes halfway and gives you an exhausted smile. "Like what?"
"Sweaty. Thoroughly used. Filled to the fucking brim."
Your comment draws a faint giggle from her which ends abruptly the moment you drag yourself backwards, slipping your softening cock out of her cunt along with the rush of semen that spills from her and trickles onto your desk.
"Oh god," Yeji mutters as the mess slips from between her legs. She pushes herself up from her prone position and lifts herself off your table, leaving behind a lovely sticky patch where her crotch had rested. You stumble towards your chair and plop down on it, resting your back against the cool leather whilst admiring Yeji's flushed features.
"I still haven't gotten to ride your cock yet."
"I don't know if I—"
Yeji drops to her knees in front of you and grabs the base of your shaft without a second thought, squeezing it lightly and causing it to stiffen slightly. "Well I do," she declares.
She leans closer.
You catch sight of your reflection in her dark brown eyes just before Yeji extends her tongue, running it carefully over the sensitive skin of your cock before planting a wet kiss against the tip. Then she does it again. And again. The movements become a pattern until, suddenly, you're enveloped by the heat of Yeji's mouth.
"Ah," you gasp as she takes you. So sensitive to the touch of her tongue as it swirls around you. She hums approvingly at your reaction and slides deeper, taking your semi-erect cock further into her mouth as she continues to suck you off. Her head bobs slowly up and down, gradually coaxing you back to life until she slips you out from between her lips with a pop.
"That got you hard fast enough." Yeji grins. She stands up straight, and then your jaw falls open slightly at the sight of Yeji reaching behind her back to unclasp her bra. It falls to the ground in slow motion. Delicate pale skin stretches beautifully over perky breasts topped with cute pink nipples. God damn.
Yeji straddles your lap, trapping your body underneath hers. It doesn't take much to push you inside. To have her slide down the length of your shaft once again. She sits still for a few seconds, grinding her hips subtly against yours whilst biting on her lower lip. "Fuck, this feels good." She rotates her hips in little circles. "Feel that? I'm still full of your cum."
The pace is slower now. You're content to sit back, listen to the sounds of wet, sloppy sex filling the office air, and watch how her beautiful features contort with pleasure when your cock scrapes against a weak spot. There's something incredibly arousing about having such a famous idol sitting in your lap, fucking herself silly on your dick alone. She uses it like a toy to chase after her own pleasure.
One of her hands laces itself into your hair, tugging on it harshly. You retaliate with equal ferocity by sinking your fingers into Yeji's plump ass. It earns you a wonderful hiss of approval which comes accompanied by a tight squeeze around your shaft as her free hand moves down between your bodies and furiously rubs at her clit.
It's not long before you realise that she's close, and judging by her frantic behaviour, you figure she isn't looking to make it last longer.
Yeji whimpers cutely. Her head falls backwards, exposing her perfect neck. An expanse of unblemished, untouched skin that simply demands to be marked. Claimed. Taken.
And so you lean forwards, place your mouth on the soft skin and start sucking on it, nipping at the supple flesh. You feel her tighten around you instantly.
"Oh god!" She cries out. Yeji tries to bounce in your lap but fails miserably. She's no longer in control of her body. All she can do is quiver, cry out, and gasp in ecstasy as another orgasm surges through her. It's nowhere near as powerful as the previous two. Instead, it's drawn out. Lasting longer and keeping her moaning throughout.
When it's over and done with, you release your hold on her neck. In return, her exhausted head comes to rest against your shoulder. Her hot pants hit your cheek as she lay there limply against your frame.
"Too much?" you tease and Yeji scoffs. You give her a gentle spank and ask, "That's all you've got?"
"Just catching my breath."
She puts action to word immediately and picks herself back up. There's a determination etched all over her face as she brings both arms to rest on your shoulders, locking you in place and supporting herself on top of you. The expression she wears leaves little room for misinterpretation; this one is yours.
Yeji begins riding you again. Slowly at first, letting herself grow accustomed to the sensation of being filled again. Then faster. Harder. Using your cock to fuck herself on. Taking charge once more. You happily allow her to have it. Glad to let the beautiful starlet do whatever the fuck she wants with your body. Relishing the fact that you're balls-deep inside of her and she loves every inch of you.
"I need it," Yeji whines, slamming herself down on top of you again and again, her soft ass smacking against your thighs repeatedly. Her hair billows wildly around her, sticking to her sweaty skin, flying every which way without rhyme or reason, driven mad by her insatiable desire to keep on going. She keeps saying things under her breath, nonsensical at best, unintelligible at worst.
But her efforts get results. As much as you want to prolong the moment forever, your body can only handle so much. Pleasure courses through your veins like electricity, setting alight every nerve ending within your body until finally, you feel that familiar heat rise from somewhere deep within.
Yeji must sense it because she suddenly kicks it up yet another notch, crying out incoherently as she drops down on your shaft once more, twice more—a third time sends you toppling over the edge. You grip her hips tight, digging your fingertips deep into her flesh as your cock pulses powerfully inside of her cunt, painting her walls white.
She drags it out. Uses gravity to force you as deep inside as possible, allowing every single drop to spill inside of her again. Your eyes roll into the back of your skull as you grunt loudly. Any coherent thought becomes impossible as you cum.
Once more, it takes several moments before you come back down from the clouds. When reality sets in again, Yeji is still straddled atop your lap, watching you with an amused grin stretching from ear to ear. You're left with nothing else to do except admire how her flushed cheeks accentuate her gorgeous features even further.
"I know. I know," she says while stroking your cheek. "I'm amazing."
"You're trouble," you correct breathlessly.
She rolls her eyes at your choice of words and then glances downwards. You follow her gaze just in time to see her raise herself off your spent member, allowing several thick strands of cum to dribble from her cunt and onto your leg. You both share a brief laugh at how filthy it looks before Yeji clambers off you and steps away, leaving you completely bare whilst she reaches down to retrieve her panties.
"No," you blurt out immediately. Your interjection catches her attention and she halts mid-motion, quirking an eyebrow curiously.
"No?"
"You can leave them."
She gives you a knowing look but acquiesces anyway, stepping aside and grabbing her dress instead. "Disgusting," she winks with a coy smirk.
#Yeji smut#Itzy smut#male reader#kpop smut#m reader#Yeji x reader#praelmas#smut#kpop fanfic#kpop fanfiction
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It just keeps happening.....
Merlin doesn't know if he wants to stop it, or if he should? And the worst part is Arthur doesn't even notice he's kissed him.
First time:
After dinner, Merlin cleared the plates, then returned to ready the royal clotpole for bed. After making sure he was dressed in his sleep shirt, Arthur simply leaned down and gave him the lightest kiss, turned and started getting into bed, saying goodnight. He could see the moment it clicked in Arthurs head, yet he just kept going. Merlin excused himself and the next morning nobody mentioned it.
Second time:
Before his tournament match against sir chamberlain, Merlin was putting on his armor.
"Please Arthur. You need to listen. Be quick. Don't underestimate him. I watched him train." Merlin pleaded.
Arthur leaned in and cut off any further words with a kiss. "I'll be fine love. Now hand me my sword."
In a daze Merlin retrieves the sword and hands it off, turning back to Around seeing on his face that he again knows what he's done. They need to talk about this but not now. Not before he goes out there. So Arthur nods once, and walks out of the tent.
3rd time :
Duke Bohun would not leave him alone. Everywhere Merlin looked, there he was. Honestly it wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so handsy. The amount of times thay Merlin has had to subtly remove himself from groping range is getting out of hand. He's just glad Arthur hadn't seen...... Or we'll, was glad.
The Duke was seated next to Arthur at the farewell banquet, which meant that while Merlin was ensuring that Arthurs cup was always full, Lord Bohun would have plenty of grab time.
Maybe if he approached from the other side?
As the night wore on, and the wine seated in their stomachs and minds, it also loosened their lips.
"That is a lovely man servant you have there. I don't suppose you'd lend him to me for a night? I promise I'd return him just as I received him." Duke Bohun slurred while leering in his direction.
"Lord Bohun, I don't know how things are done elsewhere. But here in Camelot our servants are people, not objects. We do not give them away, nor lend them for a night." Arthur could feel himself getting more and more angry with every word.
Before the situation could escalate further Merlin out a gentle hand on Arthur shoulder.
Taking that as a sign, Arthur took a deep breath. " If you'll excuse me, I think it's best that I retire for the night." he turns to his man servant "Merlin"
"Coming sire"
No sooner are they in the hall does Arthur have Merlin against a wall and locked in one of the most passionate moments he's ever experienced. Arthur is holding Merlin like he might lose him.
Slowly they part. Merlin strokes the back of Arthurs head gently. As soon as their breathing returns to normal, Arthurs entire body tenses in realization.
Merlin, instead of getting mad gently lifts his head to look at him. They stare intently. He can see how scared Arthur is.
Merlin leans forward, and for the first time, he kisses him.
"It's okay." he gently tugs on the hair on the back of his head. Not hard. Just enough to show that he's in the moment with him.
Arthur smiles.
#merthur fanfic#merlin fanfiction#short fanfic#merlin fanfic#fanfic#arthur pendragon#bbc merlin#merlin and arthur#merlin emrys#merthur#merlin#merlin x arthur#they're married your honor
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girlfriend?
spencer reid x fem!reader
the people have spoken (the 8 votes on my poll) so here!!!
no use of y/n
fluff and maybe kinda sorta comfort??
summary: reader wonders why exactly she's not spencer's girlfriend and he's more than happy to play along
warnings: reader is younger and has never had a boyfriend, mention of roommate, awkwardness??, new relationship, kissing, reader uses physical affection to distract spencer, "i'm fine" no you're not!!!, insecurities and simply spencer being a cutie
my very first time writing fanfiction and posting my writing!!! please give feedback
After a long day of daydreaming and a rather upsetting conversation with my roommate, I've come to realize that I'm technically not Spencer's girlfriend. I mean, he's never asked me to be. Of course he's sweet and we've kissed several times but he's never formally asked. I've never had a boyfriend so I just assumed that one or two dates ultimately meant together. Apparently that's not right. Maybe I'm overreacting and maybe I'm not cut out for this dating thing but why hasn't he asked? We can hardly go a day without seeing each other. Doesn't that mean something? Maybe I'm insane because that's highly likely, too.
Although anticipating it, I still jump when he knocks. The door opens and it's clear that he came straight from work, his messenger bag on his shoulder. Like every other day, we walk straight to my bedroom and he leaves his satchel on the same old cushioned chair.
Spencer places his hands in his pockets, his eyes floating over me dubiously.
"Are you alright?"
Well, that took all of three seconds.
"Why wouldn't I be?" I answer, fiddling with my pajama shorts' strings. There's no way I'm turning psycho-not-even-girlfriend on him because he hasn't defined our relationship. Because of the chance he doesn't want me to be his girlfriend, that's a conversation I'm not having.
His eyes narrow and he steps closer. "You're fidgeting, avoiding eye contact... not to mention that you've hardly spoken to me since I've got here which is just... not you at all. You always talk."
"Hey!" I frown.
I watch as his hands come up to hold my face and I begrudgingly look him in the eye only to find concern. "Did I do something?" he asks softly.
My head shakes in his hands. He drops them. "You didn't do anything wrong."
He notices the emphasis, following me when I go to sit on the edge of my bed. I'll never get over how out of place Spencer looks in my room.
His eyebrows raise as he looks down at me. I feel like I'm in trouble. "But I did something apparently."
"Nope," I hum simply, pulling him down by the tie to mush our lips together with little grace. The reciprocation was fleeting, his mouth briefly opening only to move away as fast as it came. "See? I'm fine," I grin unconvincingly.
"You're a terrible liar. Tell me what's wrong," he sighs, stuck between worried and annoyed.
He steps back, eliciting a whine from me. My eyes drop and I figure that I might as well dance around it since I'm a terrible liar. Picking at the loose string on my comforter, I murmur, "do you... um... you like me, right?"
Confusion draws his eyebrows together. "Of course I do. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. Honestly, I'd be crazy not to. What told you I didn't?"
"I'm not your girlfriend," I whisper pathetically, eyes never leaving my fidgeting fingers.
I can practically feel the realization hit him. A shaky breath that never quite becomes a nervous laugh leaves him before he responds gently, "I haven't asked you to be. Do you want to be my girlfriend?"
My head finally lifts, a slight frown on my lips as I nod.
"Will you be?"
My eyes go wide and I freeze. "What?"
He laughs softly, walking a few steps closer before crouching down to my level. "Will you be my girlfriend... please?" he asks politely, a tiny smile on his face.
I nod eagerly before I can do anything else. When words do come out, they're frantic like I can't get them out fast enough. "Yes! Yep! Mhm. Please."
This time, when I kiss him, he doesn't hesitate or pull away, he smiles, hands finding my face and brushing away any stray hairs. A thought occurs and I break the kiss, thumbs brushing his cheeks. "So... why didn't you ask before?" I ask almost absentmindedly.
He swallows and very gently mutters, "I didn't know if you'd want me to be your boyfriend."
I can feel my heart melting as I press a soft peck to his mouth. How did he not know? Isn't the way I'm constantly nervous obvious to him? I'm not exactly good at masking anything.
"Of course I did. I do. And now you are my boyfriend so how about that?" I smile and he does too.
"I'm glad," he laughs.
"Me too."
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#fanfic#criminal minds
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Truthfully she had tried so hard to manage Tangle's wild spirit but, so far everything had failed. Whisper wasn't much help in that area as Tangle was Tangle in her opinion. But they were still soldiers and they needed to be organized! how could she organized them if Tangle went off and pulled stunts like this? She let out a soft huff and crossed her arms. It was frustrating--- but she did like Tangle she was a good friend. Someone she could rely on and she didn't hate her at all. She just wished she'd listen better, and follow orders.
The Feline fidgeted a little as Reyna's eyes fell on him, and tugged on his tail in a nervous way. He kept eyeing the people they passed and seemed generally jittery compared to the others. But at the teasing tone he did seem to relax if only a little.
" Oh! Honestly it just feels like useless information! I never thought it would come in much use... but happy it can help! if i'm honest you should talk to Miss Belle she probably knows alot more about it then i do... i'm more of a communications guy..."
His eyes fell to his gloves and he tugged on them to make sure they were secure.
" Oh.. no i'll be fine... i wouldn't wanna accidently hurt someone with my claws... maybe i can find a better set of gloves here... if i'd known i was coming i guess i'd have planned for it "
Tangle was standing on her tail to get a better look at the road they were walking down. She was pretty much as tall as Reyna while using her tail! but she as mostly just curious! But her mind was instantly on one thing only!
" Sooo when do we get to try the delicious street food! or local cusine! everybody knows that's the best part of a foreign city! the awesome food! "
Lanolin sighed
" We just ate... if we find time maybe on the way back home... honestly Tangle, you really do think with your stomach first..."
Reyna could understand Lanolin's frustration, but she fears her style is incompatible with Tangle. She knows that discipline is necessary, but it seems like the lemur fears the sheep as much as she respects her. At least when it comes to her ire. Perhaps that's something she can help with later.
"Chaos Drives, hmm? I haven't had the chance to compare them, so I can't make one statement about comparing them one way or the other. Maybe I could learn some new improvements for our Eternal Engines!" She muses aloud, then hears Duo explain a bit of their history. "Ooo, someone's well read, aren't they?" She teases smiling. She then frowns when she notices the gloves.
"Also, Duo, are you sure you wanna wear those gloves here? I don't think those winter mittens in the middle of summer temperatures are gonna be good for you." She points out.
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i am literally sitting at the window gazing forlornly about veilguard rn
#i just. i mean. the thing is if tearstone island was the VERY end it wouldnt be so bad. but now i have to kill one of my companions? and#then keep playing??? like nothing happened?????#i was thinking last night like. ok well i can just finish the game once to see it and then just start over on other playthrus#but it seems there's a decent amount of romance content AFTER that! and whats the point if i cant kiss bellara next time. like what is it#if the rest of the game was good i'd be fine honestly but this is just too much#soundtrack? boring. storyline? disappointing#also i guess i was right about varric. havent gotten to it for sure but he's a ghost isnt he. AND DOES SOLAS FUCKING KNOW THAT?#motherfucker. at least i still have varric to talk to indeed#god. remember this time a month ago when i was still disappointed in the writing in inquisition#wytxt#veilguard spoilers
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.
#just need to bitch about my new job for a minute#first of all - so lucky and happy to have a job i will say that#been unemployed for two months and i need something to pay the bills#but...the fucking 'no one wants to work' of it all is such bullshit#so this new company starts you at $13/hr#not great but considering i live in rural america it's way worse around here#they're remote but their definition of remote is that you can only work from your house no where else#you get two days off per week but it's not two days back to back#if you're full time you get extra holiday pay but there are no holidays off#if you're part time fuck you you just have to work#full time employees get 10 vacation days and 6 sick days#part time you just get so many unpaid hours off#like...i'm working part time because i'm hoping to get actual work in my field#but you're telling me if i was full time i'd get /16 days/ of paid time off per year?#but also i'm not allowed to go anywhere else while i work??#like i have family just out of state that i could pop over and see on a long weekend or even a short one#but i don't even have two days back to back so i just can't go see them without taking time off#and like...probably i can just use a vpn and it won't be a big deal#and i'm hoping this is a super temporary thing and i can actually use my degree#but like /fucking hell/ of course no one wants to work in conditions like this!#i know it's work from home and there are some perks to that but not enough to make up for everything else#also not them telling me during my interview that after training you don't have to be on camera#but during out first day today being told we have to 'earn the privilege'#bitch please it's fucking chat support#i am just so tired of employers thinking that it's a privilege for us to work for them#it's a privilege for you to have me honestly#oh and also if you run out of days off you don't get unpaid time off#they just start giving you strikes#like our trainer is really nice and great but also she's trying to sell this 10 days off as some kind of amazing thing#in the us that's /fine/ if you also get the holidays off!
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You know I thought for awhile that I was just a rare type of person who sure, liked people well enough but was okay being alone didn't necessarily need anyone and NO. NO. NO. OH MY GOD . YOU GIANT DUMBASS. NO HAHAHA NOOO NOPE
#tide of consciousness#See what was confusing me is usually when people talk about life partner they mean romantically sexually#And also I have yet to meet someone who gets me in the way I want someone to get me <- I think <- good chance I have and squandered it#<- that may be the evil brain talking though#But anyway so I was misconstruing the fact that the people I know and like currently are not people I want to spend my life with#With the idea that there is no one and no chance I will ever want that#And also heteronormative allo society despite my best efforts Is in my brain#And I'm only just realizing how badly I would really like to find a person or maybe people who do make me feel like. I could want that#The idea that there could be someone out there that I would want to spend my time and space with forever is mind blowing#Because honestly and this is of course the mental illness but I have kind of been under the assumption that maybe I am just like. Weeell#Evil and broken and cruel and selfish and HAHA. you know. The usual#Because you know only recently I got my first taste of 'a person is actively choosing you and wants you over all things'#And then I fucked that up because that was my first time believing anyone could care about me and you know you always fuck that one up#And that sucked and is still in the process of sucking but it has also made me realize#That there is actually a way that I would want that. Maybe#Like in a way that worked. I'd really like to have a person like that maybe#And honestly that's a nightmare to have to realize#Because before it was like hey! I guess I just don't have to worry about that!#And now I'm like FUCK. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS#because special secret I've never actively tried to connect to people in my life ever#I don't know how you do that! I don't know how to actively form relationships!#I just wait for someone to grab me and pull me along! It's terrifying to think about trying to discover that#AT 20!#I know it's not unusual especially in this day and age in fact it's kind of an epidemic#But you're supposed to learn how to socialize when you're a little tiny baby!!! I don't want to figure this out now I can't even get a job!#Fucking shit that's a lot of words um#Every 6 months I remember that I'm deeply deeply deeply lonely and it's the worst and then I wilfully ignore it until I rediscover it again#Every day I discover a new layer to how utterly wretchedly self loathing my brain is and its the worst#Peeling back a layer of paint and surprise! You've subconsciously thought you were fine being alone because secretly you believe#That it is impossible for you to be anything but alone! Yay!
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I know you like shuggy but do you think there’s anything that makes you ship mishanks? Do you think their bond is also special and deeper? They do have history and some ppl think Mihawk was in shanks crew at some point. What are your thoughts on them? They are even more popular than shuggy so there has to be sth since so many ppl see them in this way
Have to admit, I've always been kinda indifferent to Mihawk as a character. (When first reading OP back in… god, 2003? oh my god, I'm ancient—anyway, I was a very basic Zoro girlie who only saw Mihawk as an obstacle to his dream.) Though I do find Vampire Swordsman Living In A Pirate World to be very fun, aesthetically, as a character I find him pretty inscrutable & hard to care about.
But it's not like I don't see it. Mishanks isn't for me, but it's not just a "two beautiful men smirking at each other" ship.*
Mihawk, like Buggy, thinks of or brings up Shanks in moments when he really doesn't need to. (Mentally apologizing to Shanks for fighting Luffy! What on earth.) Shanks can convince Mihawk to relax and have a drink with his crew, though Mihawk is almost always shown to be alone and happy that way.
But so much of their dynamic and history has to be read between the lines, and I find that frustrating. I want answers! Canon answers!!
Like: why did they have those epic fights (which even Whitebeard spoke of with respect) when they were younger—was Shanks trying to take Mihawk's title, or were neither of them at the level of the World's Greatest yet? (Side note, I would love to know who Mihawk beat to get that title and when.) Does Mihawk refuse to fight Shanks these days because he thinks a one-armed swordsman is a bad fight? Or is he trying to preserve the memory of their last fight as near-equals?
(Or… I can't speak to all of Shanks' fights since he lost the arm, obviously, but in present day it's notable that he only pulls out his sword as the nuclear option. I wonder if Shanks just can't do casual, fun fights anymore, the same way he can't relax on enemy ships.)
Was Mihawk ever a member of his pirate crew? I for one can't see him as an ex-Red-Haired Pirate—for one because he's such a goth loner it seems like a bad culture fit, but for another because I think it would have been brought up in canon. The Marines made Buggy a Warlord because of his history with Shanks; if Mihawk had been a member of his crew, wouldn't that make Buggy redundant? That said, I can see Shanks trying to use their fights as a recruitment tool—"If I win this time, you'll join my crew!"—but I don't think it worked out.
Basically, I'd say there's a decent ship there in theory, but for me to get into it I'd need a lot of things that have been left implicit to be spelled out.
Which could happen! Maybe Buggy going after the One Piece and dragging Mihawk in his wake is going to force him to reveal a hidden detail about his history with Shanks that makes him reluctant to fight him anymore…
*Though imo that is part of why they're more popular; for a long time gay ships in English-language shonen fandom (& probably others, but I'm just speaking from my experience) were exclusively about basic-ass hotties. You'd have to ask me about my days in Naruto fandom if you want that salt, though. (Please don't. That's such a dark path to ask me to go down.) Another reason is that we see Shanks & Mihawk interact in present day hundreds of chapters before Shanks & Buggy. Early interaction = early establishment of the ship = long fandom history/staying power.
#the popularity of a ship for an older recurring male character honestly has so little to do with any material basis for the ship#but to get into that i'd have to get into my opinions on nar—#don't do it don't ask me about nart i can't go back there#anyway mihawk and mishanks are fine ig? just not for me#i need more than 'i can take him/in a fight right' jokes and a history of homoerotic swordfighting to ship a thing#one piece#i feel bad putting this post in the tag when it's not super positive about the ship but—#mishanks#tos answers#shanks#dracule mihawk#—mihawk backstory speculation#—mihawk & shanks#fandom wank#—shanks & his lost arm#—ship wank
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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Tainted batch (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#Fine nevermind >:(#It's so weird to be posting vent-adjacent stuff while I'm doing so well currently haha#I started this months ago and have significantly improved my mood since then pfft ♪ I'd hope!#There wasn't anything specific at the time anyway just a thought circling around that I figured Charm would be more affected by#Considering most things for her are heightened in comparison haha <3 She'll get therapy someday#She also deals a lot in sublimation through art! And sometimes that means literally taking the materials and using them elsewhere#Honestly it's pretty cool that she can reconstitute her art :0 Drawing is a little different haha#I hadn't realized it'd been as long as it's been since I last drew Cirrus :0#Oh yeah Cherry Shortcake actually has a first name now lol#A few residents do! If you remember my mention of Aria from a while back - Marshmallow Fluff - I think those are the current three?#Still haven't really pinned down a naming convention haha...I've been thinking about three-letter last names for what feels like forever now#She was also an early contender for Digitally Rendered Resident huh... I could at least stand to name the others that have gotten that lol#So many things I wanna do with her - really want to finish her Biased Narrator fic sometime just dunno how to end it hrmngh#Anyway lol she gets a one-panel cameo and takes over the post pft no! Charm time!#Evil Time Charm time - kicked up her pulse as soon as she remembered#She kinda sorta remembers what happened but more than that remembers the Emotions - feeling Laughed At#And clearly it's [this specific thing]'s fault that she feels foolish! Avoid [this specific thing] and never feel foolish again Guaranteed!*#*Not actually even remotely close to a guarantee lol instead she's just avoiding something that at one point made her feel good#So easy to turn a positive memory into a negative one with just a change of framing huh?#I can't think of anyone in her life who would exploit that fun little feature in her outlook not even one!
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EEEEEEH honestly during the time we were mutuals we interacted like a maximum of . two times. perhaps even just once. which is a bit crazy considering all of this now. i was just scared of trying to keep interacting honestly HSJAHDJSHD but if you dont feel like dating after i reveal myself that is completely absolutely alright! i would appreciate having you as a friend just as much! its whatever you prefer and whatever you feel more comfortable with :3
- 💌 anon
oooh well . still honestly I bet uur kewl <3 and yayaya !! thank uu for being understanding , I very much appreciate it . to be faaair , I do . kinda . have a soft spot for uu , y'know ? so even if it isn't immediately . . . the idea isn't something I'm opposed to ^_^
#➳ the fool's mail box#➳ sender; 💌 anon#with all of this being said . there def are things I'd need to know before like . being in a relationship#likeee . are we close in age bodily . nawt that uu would know since i don't share my age online idk but still . like . age range ?#but also no need to directly share that . at least for nyeow ? at the least i trust uu are a minor 😭#um . and also if uur . dating anybun else ? aha ? <- very monogamous very mono . unlike a lot of the beings I've met on here . scary !#augh it's purrobably obvious by nyeow but I'm a clingy jealous mess so being with anybun who'd be dating others . i just . can't#and that's honestly something I'm worried about a little bit like poly beings r so kewl but it just isn't for me#and a lot of beings i know on here are poly . ^_^'#or like idfk being poly itself is fine in a theoretical partner as long as they aren't strictly poly#like ''no if i wanna date other people will i can't just be with only one being bc that doesn't work for me''#but ''i could theoretically be in a polycule but I'm okay with being in a mono relationship'' is good !#and ofc ''i am fully mono just like uu'' is . also something that works for me#idk#these are the kinds of things i didn't wanna ask right off of the bat and i suppose I'll purrobably find out for myself whenever uu reveal#but like . still . uu can easily see why we could be incompatible lol . so .#augh idk where I'm going with this . I mean uu should know my boundaries n such if uu like-like me I just feel like a bit of a downer#bc boom what if everything is ruined nyeow or whatever blehhh#but anyways I'm gonna stfu nyeow i have some chores 2 knock out so I'll speedrun em while uu either write back . or do something else and#then write back . orrrr while uu do something else and write back when I'm done and at the computer so I can reply asap etc etc#agh i feel like i got weird w this even if uu are currently w others or something again we can totally just be friends . buddies . pals .#uur still kewl and really niceys so !
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Fan Fiction/RP Tropes tier list
Tagged by: @cxpperhead
Tagging: (Anyone who wants to do thiiiis @-tag me. <3)
#Outof'Lock#(No particular order for any of them. I'd say S A and B tiers are honestly ones I'm pretty much always fine with writing.)#(They can be tier-interchangeable depending on my mood too. =0)#(C tier I'm also pretty much fine with writing/plotting but these ones I can live without them happening too. =D)#(Pregnancy/baby stuff in particular definitely needs to be discussed prior though! Unless it's some weird time thing where Dags is a babs.)#(I would say D tier is the stuff I don't really care-for/want to write...)#(Like I just can't picture Riv being a royal or in anything historical and I've never really been fond of ABO. =T)
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okay, further phone update:
I think it does in fact have some water damage - when I unlock the screen I can see a watermark in the bottom left corner, but it's only visible when the brightness is high so I only spotted it once I turned my phone back on last week, and just spotted again now whilst looking at my phone in the dark. I know it probably got under there because I had the screen replaced therefore the seal isn't perfectly tight. I am pretty worried because it might spread like a bruise and fuck the whole screen and I'm not prepared for that, but it's been there a week without me noticing and without spreading so it probably isn't immediate, I keep telling myself.
I am also pretty fuckt alcohol wise (my body is getting used to my antidepressants again after some accidental withdrawal, and I had one low % beer that has hit like three beers) so I'm probably worrying more than I should right now, gonna mark it down as a future me problem and try not to stress tonight
#honestly considering how I've not noticed it#it could simply be a mark from when they replaced my screen the other month and I've only recently spotted it#so it's probably fine but if it was a problem from the other month I wish I'd noticed earlier#but hey it be what it be#I'm probably due a new phone soon anyway - this one is nearly 4 years old so I'm well out of contract#and it makes more financial sense to. get a new one (and just pay monthly on contract) than to spend another £80 to refix the screen on this#because I've spent £100 on fixing the thing already altogether#and I'd like to choose a more life proof phone and get it a life proof - or rather nic proof - case#Nic stuff
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i don't understand how i'm supposed to be a functional human in society when i am so so mad at society all the time
#like i don't know how to put aside my belief that the world should be fair long enough to put up with the fact that it isn't#i try my best to be positive and shit but like#how do people just turn off the anger at the world for not being better#how do people work shitty awful jobs knowing they deserve to be treated like human beings and not punch someone#or just. shut down#i tend to shut down not punch people lmao#i just. i don't get it. and i honestly want an answer#because i want to know how to function#but i hate that fucntioning in society means dealing with all the bullshit!!#what if i want to work for people who care about me in a city that's designed for walkability and where i can afford to live#why is that like. an impossible ask#any ONE of those things feels impossible to me#and i know they shouldn't be is the thing#i think if i could just accept that that's how the world is i'd be fine#but i can't accept that because i know it should be better???#i think in a lot of places outside of north america it IS better?#so the fact that it isn't just makes me so so angry and i don't know how to function because i can't just pretend like it doesn't suck!#i wish i could#i honestly do#because this is miserable#but i don't know how people just turn that off????
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hmmm. oh my god my mind is a mess i rlly can't write what i want to rn but i will just Dump
#🌙.vents#YEAH HONESTLY OKAY one reason why fiction comforts me so much is. it teach me so much n let me live through so much more#these characters i. relating to them n seeing parts of myself in them is just. yk rlly comforting bcs i'm. very not social irl.#i get anxious. n typically i find that.. most ppl in like my class or my school or wtvr. yk everyone is interesting n has depth but#i find them. a bit too simple for me. ah.. yeah uhm. sorry remove the 'a bit' it's. by far. so.#hermes rlly. to me bcs he's like. different. felt alone for it. but.. he's intelligent he's valued n. theres a lot of ways to look at it bu#yh then he stands up n does smth for himself for once n he makes mistakes n then after that he sort of just gives up on that part of himsel#'internalizes the lies' THAT PART HURT SO MUCH OKAY. but.. yk fitting in n being 'normal' or wtvr gives a lot of ppl more comfort#but for me it hurts yes but i'd much rather face life for what it is. who i am who i really am. fuck if it's lonely for me#smth from the 1975 w matty on religion? sorry as well i'm.. really not religious. i respect it but please. i'm really not religious.#it would.. be easier yeah if we did believe in some divine being right? believing that there is salvation. that. there's.. yeah#i really just can't bring myself to believe in that. on religion i rmb rn even when i was younger like in lower school even i rlly thought#abt logic behind it. i questioned n wondered why people believed in religion. i really as. very curious abt stuff n life n all that#n growing up i've never really let the outside world influence me too much. no i pride myself in really staying true to myself.#so last year hurt sm bcs i really felt like i was restraining myself too much. i can't exactly pinpoint it rn okay i'm emotional rn but#i rlly felt like my freedom to be myself was stuck somewhere. n then stuff n 'talking too much' so tumblr became yh for me bcs#i don't want to isolate myself but i just.. can't do some things bcs of anxiety? or wtvr there's a lot n then there's also. uh#i still do crave vulnerability n belonging but how do i say this#it's really important to me that. i realize i open up more to ppl that also are able to open up as well. ppl who are like me.#like apollo n online friends n i love my irls too n i hate this bcs yh fine maybe i'm a bit of a ppl pleaser but it's more in a way that#i don't want to be misunderstood. i don't want to hurt anyone. so irl i generally tend to.. hide or restrain myself#take note of 'generally'. but i won't touch on that right now. i think i've been misunderstood before so that's why im sensitive to this#bcs. still having that love n care can coexist with still knowing myself n what works better for me bcs it's so crazy actually how w#several ppl i met last year esp the ones i only know online i cld open up to them more easily bcs they Too can do that n it just#feels so lonely irl i'm just dumping rn it's like nearly 1 am n i'll probably delete this tmrrw bcs i think i'm a bit frustrated right now#not that it's anyone's fault. i'm just. confused right now w myself but i don't mean anything bad by all this okay#i want to just. write. a fictional story rn to calm myself. doing things for myself surely isn't selfish. being myself isn't selfish right?#i can be kind to myself right now too. like other times before. so i will be kind. yes i will be.#there's sm in my head i rlly wish i cld write them all but such is the limit of being human. not too bad tho bcs i have stuff to do#i'll get that done rq n then i'll let myself rest though. until i sleep i'll let myself be at peace n rest c:
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been playing this free shooter game because i'm still trying to find something to scratch the overwatch itch that isn't overwatch and it's desperately trying to be genshin waifubait but nobody cares
#it's strinova it's on steam it's. fine ig. kinda more valorant-y than overwatch-y but ehh it passes the time#one thing i'll praise it for is its paper mechanic like. you can do paper mario shit & turn sideways to go through gaps or stick to walls#really fun and kind of an original concept to have in a shooter game#character design is literally mihoyo at home like bland The Whitest Thin Women Ever and maybe 3 male characters#there's a weird... built-in... dating sim-y thing ? it's only with 1 of the characters though#bit cringe innit#similar battlepass to overwatch like. a handful of free items in it but the rest Aha Pay For Premium Battlepass :)#premium currency. gacha shit to get skins & whatnot. because you know it's not predatory if it's only cosmetiiiiics or w/e the excuse is#locked characters you can get through playing but lbr they expect people to pay to instaunlock them#afaik you don't get to choose a game mode & there's no distinction between casual/ranked matches#ik i said ''there's like 3 male characters'' but i just looked and there genuinely are Three.#there's a white haired guy with blue eyes a white haired guy w/ 1 heterochromia blue eye and some other guy who cares#honestly.... idk if i'd recommend it like it's not terrible but it's not great it's kinda just... there#try it out if the paper thing sounds interesting to you otherwise don't botherrrr#also you need to set up an account for this which. god what year is this just let me play through my steam account
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