#And even the people who I've reached out to and asked for help haven't. Realized
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I'm so tired
#Realized these past few weeks that people just.... Don't believe I'm feeling like shit#Like. I'm basically suicidal#I haven't said this to anyone#Not explicitly but I've hinted at it#What I have said however is that I feel like I'm in very real danger of being physically harmed in my current living situation#And that I live closed off in my bedroom to avoid interacting with my abuser#And that it would help immensely if I could just hang out with my friends you know?#Just get out of the house#See human beings that don't drive me into a panic attack by just existing in the same room as me#But everyone basically treats me like I'm insane for being afraid#No one invites me for anything#Everyone is always busy when I seek company#So I just become more and more closed off#I'm in such a depressive funk I'm barely trying to talk to anyone anymore#I just don't have the strength#I'm basically off the radar in every social media and chatting app.#And even the people who I've reached out to and asked for help haven't. Realized#Or cared#I'm so tired of trying to keep going. What even is the point anymore#A few years ago my first therapist told me we aren't supposed to be sad. Not all the time. Not like this#And at the time that gave so much hope that things would get better#But now a days it just freaks me out because it doesn't feel like I will ever be able to feel anything but this.#To exist in any way but this. Alone. No conexions. Only interacting with family who hates me wants me dead or resents me#This isn't even bringing all my health issues into account#Therapy isn't even helping#I'm thinking of quitting#I can only see the money going away and no improvement at all#Personal tag
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PRE-OWNED RECORDS
Sirius Black x muggle!reader || fluff
summary: the time Sirius sneaked away from Hogwarts to see you.
The thrift store looked as cozy as ever, which was the obvious effect of a place filled with things that people had previously loved. The crooked statues and trinkets near the door, the sound of a Little Richard record playing somewhere behind the back, the huge stack of battered old books — all of them made you excited like the very first time you stepped inside.
You looked at the boy you came with and saw a gleam in his eyes that you haven't ever seen before.
"Pretty, isn't it?" you asked, taking a brown butterfly hairclip from the basket near him. Sirius still hasn't finished taking in the shop's eccentrics.
"It's so cool," he said in awe.
You laughed. You could see why he'd be so surprised. Sirius Black had been homeschooled all his life, or that's what he says anyway. All you know is that your strange, rich, pretty neighbour never comes out of his house unless it's the holiday season. When you ask him about it, he says his mother is old-fashioned and traditional. You hadn't understood what he meant until you saw her once yourself. From her attire to her cold glare, that particular cameo still gave you shudders.
Even the times you do see him, he's covered in leaves and dirt, as if he climbed down the window without anyone seeing. Sometimes you wonder if you ought to get him legal help to get him emancipated. But he never looked physically harmed, but he never looked completely okay either.
Str̥angely enough, your holiday friend wasn't out on a holiday though. This visit was right in the middle of the school year. When asked about it, he said something about apparition or desperation that you just decided not to ask further. He looked particularly worn out that day, so you decided to take him to somewhere he'd never been before, which happened to be a very long list. The thrift store was close, so that's the story of how he ended up gawking at the records beside you.
"Who's your favorite?" you asked, actually curious. Apart from his unusual attire and confused looks when you mention anything from music, you haven't had the faintest clue as to who he even listened to.
"Stubby Boardman?"
You blinked. "Uhm, you mean Buddy Holly?"
"Yeah, sure." Sirius looked more interested in the records before him. He brushed past the unorganized stack with a faraway look in his eyes. He then turned to you questioningly. You jumped a little and looked away because you realized you might have been staring a little too much at him.
"Look at this!" You were thankfully saved by the orange and red album in front of you. You reached for it gleefully, making a happy sound. "I've been looking for this edition for such a long time! Oh, I can't believe they have it!"
"Are they any good?" he asked, matching your level of excitement.
"The best," you sighed, hugging it closer.
This particularly sweet moment was cut short when you heard a small commotion at the front of the store.
Sirius's face showed immediate panic. "I knew that cat looked familiar!" He said, rushing to the cashier's area.
"The cat?" you blinked in confusion, then followed him.
A woman stood in the spot, wearing the biggest black hat you'd ever seen. She had small spectacles and smart, shrewd eyes behind them. She looked exhaustingly mad, as if she'd been in plenty of situations like this before.
"I'm still learning the ropes of apparition?" Sirius tried, smiling meekly. "I've no clue how I've ended up here."
"Mr. Black, you've excelled in apparition and rest assured, even the most horrible student wouldn't end up hundreds of miles away from where they are. I'm sorry to interrupt your date but you're coming with me right this instant!"
"Who is this?" you asked. The woman turned her gaze on you, and the wheels seemed to turn in her head.
"Let's go," she said more sharply.
"I enrolled in a boarding school?" Sirius directed the answer at you, though it sounded more like a lame excuse. The woman did not look happy to be ignored. "I've to go now but I'll explain everything when I'm back okay?"
"No, you won't!" the woman said shrilly.
"I'm sorry but you all have to leave," the cashier said, looking like she's had enough. "We don't have squabbles inside the store."
Sirius looked a tiny bit sad. Being unofficially thrown out of the store was not how you thought how the day would go, but you sighed and walked out anyways.
Your phone rang. It was your father, asking you to pick up the groceries on your wy back. By the time you hung up, both Sirius and the lady was nowhere to be seen.
----------------------------------
"You're young and that's a fancy word for naive," Minerva said, walking or slightly running down the hall. Sirius struggled to keep up.
"She's going to understand."
She stopped in her tracks and Sirius almost crashed into her.
"That's not what I meant. How do you think your mother would take the fact that you're friends with a muggle? Let alone more than friends?"
Sirius blushed. "There's not more—"
"Oh, I'm not stupid. But that's not what this is about either. You're bringing her to her doom if you keep visiting her under Walburga's nose."
"She's all I have at that place!"
"That's not true. There's a person in your own house who needs you, but you seem to forget that."
"Regulus is like the rest of them. He's not who he was," Sirius said promptly. His words were harder than before. "If you doubt it, look for the mark in his arm."
Without waiting for her reply, he stormed away. To hell with the detentions, he thought. I have to do one more thing back in my town.
----------------------
The next morning, the first thing you thought of while waking up was the boy with dark long curls and brown pretty eyes. You wondered if you dreamt him up.
There was a part of you that wanted to be mad that he left without a goodbye, but you actually didn't mind. Something said he'd be back soon enough.
"Hey kiddo," your dad knocked on your door and walked in, holding something familiar in his hands. "Someone left this at the door. Must be for you."
You gasped, grabbing the red and orange record from his hands.
"How—?"
"There was no note." He shook his head. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you have a secret admirer. Now come down to the kitchen, we made pancakes."
"I'll be right there," you mumbled, examining the album once again. Once he left the room, you immediately went to the player.
While you took out the record, you noted something eerily familiar to dog hair sticking on the sides.
THE END
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masterlist | KOFI | commissions
#sirius black x reader#sirius black x y/n#sirius black x you#sirius black fluff#fanfiction#marauders fanfiction#marauders x you#astoria writes
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TIME SENSITIVE: HELP MARAM, AHMED, AND THEIR CHILDREN EVACUATE GAZA
I truly don't know what to do to help my friends' campaign gain momentum again -- I've tried multiple methods from posting to sharing to tagging others to putting up fliers, passing out fliers, commissions, and raffling, and friends of mine have gotten popular accounts on Twitter and even YouTubers to feature it -- yet their contributions crawl and they STILL haven't reached their goal after 5 months of constant, daily appeals. Ahmed, Maram, and their three babies need to be able to get to safety as fast as possible, and the only way to make this possible is to achieve their GFM goal. They were recently displaced again to an area of active bombardment and invasion as they wish to avoid the spread of diseases in densely populated areas. On top of that, Maram has struggled with liver disease and malnutrition which has taken the ability to feed her infant son Muhammad.
Please, please give what you can to help them reach it ASAP. Enter my jewelry raffle or donate directly using the link below, anything helps. I was initially aiming for €30k by this Sunday, 08/15/2024, but in truth the full goal needs to be realized as soon as it can. Their campaign is 100% legitimate -- I know the beneficiary who sends the money and she keeps me and the family updated on the movement of all funds, and I have multiple methods of verifying their identity I have been asked to share if it will secure someone's donation. This is time sensitive because given the constantly changing nature of the situation the border could facilitate evacuation at any moment, and they need to be ready to register and leave ASAP.
GOFUNDME LINK
€27,490/€40,000.
That's €12,510 to go!
Tagging for reach under the cut. If I could get at least one or two more people to help make posts for them, It would mean the world to me.
@brutaliakhoa @dykesbat @batmanego @laurajameskinney @pollackpatrol
@ot3 @yugiohz @rhubarbspring @watermotif @terroristiraqis
@buttercuparry @deathlonging @briarhips @feluka
@wellwaterhysteria @irhabiya @neechees @mangocheesecakes @kyra45
@northgazaupdates2 @commissions4aid-international
@magnus-rhymes-with-swagness @appsa
#palestine#free palestine#gaza#free gaza#save gaza#gaza genocide#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#mutual aid#signal boost#rafah#all eyes on rafah#all eyes on palestine
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heads up: feelings of abandonment + reader crying. food mentions. fic can be interpreted as purely platonic, if desired!
when did your apartment start to feel so cold? you weren't sure. but you pull out a hoodie from your dryer and pull it on, just to try and chase away the chill that won't leave you. today's been a shit day, and all you want to do is curl up in bed and sleep until it's over. but it's far too early for that, so you opt to try to take care of yourself instead.
which really just turns into you pulling a blanket over you on the couch and watching whatever seems interesting enough to hold your attention for a while. it takes barely five minutes into the first movie before you start to sniffle again, and you stop fighting it. hot tears run down your cheeks, and you just pull the blanket tighter around you.
is it so much to ask that someone chase you for once? to have someone check on you and make sure you're actually okay? instead, you get radio silence when you pull away from people. it makes you feel sick to your stomach. there's a swirling storm inside you of the knowledge that people can't help you if you don't say something, and the wish that people would realize you not saying anything was a cry in its own right. they've known you this long, haven't they? they know you hate reaching out, that you despise having to say 'hi, i'm struggling' and instead it feels like they've just stopped bothering with you. why bother with someone who won't pull themself out of their struggles enough to say something?
it feels like you're drowning in these feelings. every hiccup and attempt to catch your breath just sends you spiraling further, the weight of the world crushing you more and more. is it so wrong to want someone to reach out and say "i know things aren't okay. can we talk?" or even a "i'm here for you, i'm sorry life is hard now, just say the word and i'll be there, okay?" in some shape or form. it doesn't even have to be so elaborate. it just needs to be something--
someone knocks on your door. you swear under your breath, wiping at your face and hoping that whoever is on the other side won't question it too much. your neighbor's cat probably got out again. you stop on your way to the door, looking in a mirror to see what damage has been done by this sobbing fit. and when you feel a little more composed, you open the door.
"hey." seungcheol has one hand tucked into the front pocket of his hoodie, the other holding a bag of takeout. "have you eaten yet?" he's dressed down, sweatpants and beanie and all. "i was in the neighborhood, and..."
he's lying. you know he is. you can see the label on the bag and this place is nowhere near where you live. but it's your favorite.
his gaze softens when he fully takes in the sight of you. "are you okay--"
he barely finishes the word before you dive forward, wrapping your arms around him as you bury your face in his hoodie. it makes you feel desperate in the worst way, but you're crying already and hiding your face from him makes you feel even a little better. but the feeling of seungcheol's arms wrapping around you feels even better, and he holds you protectively.
"i've got you," he says, and it feels like a promise.
maybe life isn't so bad after all.
#nonranghaes.thoughts#nonranghaes.svt#seventeen x reader#seventeen imagine#svt x reader#svt imagine#seventeen x you#svt x you#s coups x reader#s coups x you#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol x you#choi seungcheol x reader#choi seungcheol x you#dealing with ~feeeeeeelings~ and i wish someone could just do this for me#instead i just watch someone delete the private channel we had together without giving me a heads up#its whatever. im sure hes talking shit about me with the other ppl i havent had the energy to respond to#it just gives me more motivation to leave the fucking server eventually. no one wants me there anyway#nonranghaes.vent
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𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚'𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫
↠ female reader. no description of features. no mentions of size.
a/n: pictures made by me, spoilers I guess if you haven't watched Deadpool? No warnings just fluff and dumbassery.
Some time after Deadpool & Wolverine, they get back together, and you're a total surprise for them despite the two wanting a baby before Vanessa died.
"So... are we having a Sonny or a Cher?"
Not being called either of those names and definitely not being called anything 'strippery'... or Wade Jr, Wada, Darth Wader and definitely not Todd, either.
No matter how much Wade worried about being like his dad, all that went out the window when you were actually born.
"I've only had a daughter for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I'd kill everyone in this room and then myself... come back to life fuck shit up and die again. Rinse and repeat."
Wade leaving you with Blind Al as a babysitter (sometimes she wouldn't even realize you're there).
"Wade, you can't just leave the baby with a blind person." *Surprise Pikachu Deadpool * "...ableist..."
I feel like Wade, at some point, either dropped you or you fell when you were a kid, but it's for the best since that's how he and Vanessa found out that you're a chip off the ole' block when you heal super fast.
Despite what Vanessa thought when they first agreed to make a baby, they did, in fact, make a 'super baby.'
Always following your 'Uncle' Logan around no matter how much he tries to get rid of you.
"'Babypool' go-... play or something, okay kid?"
Growing up surrounded by mutants means you never think you're different or a freak but instead becoming very protective of your mom. After a talk with your dad about your mom dying, you realize just how fragile people are.
Surprisingly, Wade makes a great girl dad. He does the tea party thing and, of his own accord, puts on the dress and clip earrings; he serves tea to the plush bears and scoffs when others mock him.
"Clearly, you people have no class."
As you got older, you started to look more like your mom, but no matter what situation you found yourself in, you could stop the snark, so much so that it earned you the nickname 'Mini mouth' – Wade was so proud.
Wade took you to the roof of the building to 'bond,' which Vanessa knew was him teaching you how to fight – something she was okay with until you both fell off the roof... more than once.
Them both knowing that despite wanting to give you a normal childhood and life you were going to be some kind or 'hero/antihero'. So they roll with the punches, and Wade makes sure you know exactly what you need to know about it.
"No, spermpool, red is my color. Just ask your mom when we-"
"Ew, Dad... and don't call me that."
On that note, investing in headphones was something you picked up the older you got, asking the store which ones cancel noise the best and then buying earbuds to go with them.
"Minipool, Girlpool, not-as-good-deadpool, Wishpool... ow... okay! We'll think of a better name for you!"
Despite you and your dad both being mercs who have been killed or hurt in every which way, your mom still rules the house. That's how you two find your katanas confiscated when you started playing 'Star Wars' during Thanksgiving.
Your dad makes a lot of Batman and Robin jokes when you're working together, only after he made a weird Batman and Catwoman joke until he realized why that was gross. So you became his Robin.
For someone so laid back about love and sex, Wade is very protective when it comes to you. Seeing the bad guys flirt with you, his deadpan snark reaches a few levels higher than his norm – it doesn't help when your mom hypes up your catsuit.
"I told you we should have gotten her a costume like what the lady three floors down wears."
“Red, that's a Muumuu.”
Being impulsive is like an inherited trait from both of them, which just makes up a chaotic household, and yet you all love every minute of it.
"One of the best things my dad ever gave me, not by choice, are these two gold-plated 50 caliber desert eagle pistoleros...."
𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀
The Nights by Avicii
GDFR by Flo Rida
X gon' give it to ya by DMX
𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀:
Chaotic parents x Inherited Chaos (you)
Matching Family Energy
Dumbasses (wade, you) x Oh, those are my dumbasses (vanessa)
#Marvel#MCU#deadpool and wolverine#Deadpool#x female reader#x daughter!reader#deadpool x daughter!reader#deadpool x you#deadpool x reader#Deadpool's daughter#x platonic reader#reader insert#imagines#headcanons#vanessa carlysle#deadpool headcanons#brunettemarionette
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Your Dead Eyes - Chapter 1
Summary: Lifeless eyes were what haunted your all your life, many people say that death was lurking around your eyes, maybe it's true. Maybe you just see things that other people don't.
Pairing: Azriel x Archeron! reader fem.
A/n: This took longer than expected and isn't even half as long as I would have liked, but I've finally finished the first book and let's get to the real story! Thank you for the positive feedback 🙌🏻 This chapter was more about the sisters' bond, the next ones will be different. I think the Reader has an emotional dependence on Feyre 😥
*English is NOT my native language, this fanfic was translated with the help of an AI, any grammatical errors please let me know*
Word count: 2.5k
Warnings: Scars, family abandonment, mentioned death.
previous x next
"Do you not think you're exaggerating?" Elain asked you with forced gentleness. The sound of her sipping tea tickled your ears. Dropping your own teacup on the living room's coffee table – causing some splashes to stain the surface – you placed a hand on your chest in mock indignation, perhaps not entirely fake.
"I'd rather be thrown to the wolves than face the conjugal bed, and I must say I'm terrified of those animals." Your lips curled downward, "Men, in this case."
Elain's eyes crinkled at the corners, and the curve of her lips lifted even as she tried to dispel the amusement she felt.
"I understand. But maybe you should consider, I bet Feyre would return in time for your wedding." She spoke with her eyes lowered to the tea.
No, she wouldn't return. You wanted to shout out to Elain. Hardly would that beast willingly let your sister go, that is if she wasn't already in the belly of those faeries.
"I have no interest in getting married, sister. And who in their right mind would be interested in someone with my condition?" Your voice was soft, not a hint of resentment showing in your features.
Having a man in your life was not something you desired. They were rough, lazy, and smelled bad. Not even the twisted relationship Feyre had with that man could make you want one too.
"Maybe... you just haven't looked in the right place," Elain commented. Looked? Have holy patience. You were hardly going to look at anything, let alone a man. Realizing her bluntness, Elain widened her eyes towards you, "I didn't mean it that way, sister, it was just a figure of speech—"
Your laughter cut off Elain's awkward attempt to apologize. Your shoulders shook with the intensity of your laughter. Elain sighed in relief and awkwardly joined in.
Feyre didn't treat you as if you were about to burst into tears.
After that interesting conversation with Elain, Nesta barged into the room, interrupting – rather rudely – to announce that a luxurious carriage was approaching.
You could hear the rustle of Elain's skirts as she tried to beautify herself even more. Despite Nesta feigning an indifferent facade, she was also discreetly arranging her hair.
Laughing to yourself, you wondered how you must look in your supposed light blue dress. A hand grabbed your arm and gently lifted you from the sofa. Nesta, you could tell the difference. Elain had rougher hands from gardening, and Nesta's hands were colder.
"Let's go. Can you manage on your own?" Nesta asked. You appreciated that she allowed you to have your own autonomy. Nodding, you reached for the edge of the sofa where your cane rested and grabbed it.
When you heard the door opening, your head turned towards the sound and you went, dragging the golden tip of the cane across the floor, which hit the furniture warning you to dodge, and slowly going after your sisters – who were walking significantly slower to wait for you.
His cane hit the front door step. Carefully, you placed your foot in front to descend. The breeze made your hair flutter, and it felt so good; the wind kissed your skin like a longing lover.
"Welcome to our home... Lady." You heard Nesta as you finally caught up with your sisters. A brief moment of silence followed, soon to be cut by an extremely familiar laughter
.Your heart raced, and your free hand crumpled the dress you were wearing. Your lifeless eyes turned, trying to find the source of the voice.
"Nesta," she laughed, "doesn't recognize her own sister?" The air was expelled from your lungs, Feyre. A burning sensation started in your eyes, and without you realizing, fat tears streamed down your flushed cheeks. No matter how or where, you would always, always recognize your sister's voice.
The crunching of dried leaves alerted you that someone was approaching, a calm breath was blown on your face. Your trembling lips also parted as you tried to find the right words. Nothing came to mind; it was as if your brain had turned to jelly.
"My snowflake..." Feyre stepped forward, using her fingers to wipe away your tears. She missed you so much while she was with Tamlin. Her chest weighed every time she thought of you, her dearest sister.
Closing your eyes tightly, you let out a sob and threw yourself into Feyre's arms. Discarding the cane without care, your hands reached the back of your sister, pulling her into a tight and emotional embrace.
Feyre staggered under your weight and laughed. She laughed as she nestled in your arms and continued to laugh even as she felt Nesta's eyes drilling holes into her head.
You couldn't physically move away from Feyre while your sisters talked with her. Your hand clung to hers in the hope that if you held on tight enough, she wouldn't leave again.
But not even all the happiness you were feeling could make you ignore Feyre's excuse. Taking care of Aunt Ripleigh? You distinctly remembered that it wasn't Aunt Ripleigh who tore the door off the old cabin.
As expected, Nesta was cautious, hovering over you and Elain as if Feyre would reveal her true intentions at any moment. She declined Elain's invitation to go to the garden, seeing Feyre there made her physically sick, so she withdrew to avoid conflicts in front of her sisters.
You were focused on Feyre and Elain's conversation, desperately wanting her to talk about what happened.
Feyre tensed when Elain casually mentioned – distracted by the flowers – that Nesta visited her at Aunt Ripleigh's. Another lie.
You felt Feyre's breath near your face: "How have you been?"
Fine. You were fine, but not well enough to disguise the suspicion in your expression. Feyre quickly noticed and stepped back slightly.
"Why are you lying to us?" You were direct, no more beating around the bush. You needed answers, and not even Elain's presence would distract you from your goal.
Feyre widened her eyes toward Elain and was relieved to see that she was far enough away not to hear. Biting her lips, she grabbed your wrist and pulled you toward the exit, giving a brief goodbye to Elain, who was so fascinated by the new petunia seedlings that she didn't care.
You were guided through a few doors until you reached a room that Feyre considered safe from curious ears.
You crossed your arms over your chest and impatiently waited for Feyre, who ran her hand through her hair and sighed, not knowing where to start. Then she decided to start with the worst.
"I– I'm in love with the High Lord of Prythian."
If you weren't already blind, you could swear your vision blurred at that moment.
And then Feyre told you, told about how the other side of the wall was breathtaking, told about the peculiar creatures that existed there, told about her frenemy Lucien, and told about how she fell in love with the beast that turned out to be so loving to her.
And to your dismay, she detailed the night of passion she had before being – gently – sent home.
"I didn't need to know that. I have a vivid imagination, and I hate myself for it." You spoke with disgust; Feyre chuckled and approached you, taking your hand and bringing it to her face.
"I haven't told you everything," you murmured for her to continue. Your fingers traced the contours of her face. She looked so different but at the same time so familiar. Perhaps she had become healthy.
"There was a male who threatened Tamlin, he was handsome, maybe the most beautiful male I've ever seen," she commented absentmindedly, "he asked for my name... Clare Beddor."
Clare Beddor, the name weighed on your tongue. Clare, your former neighbor who was killed in such a horrendous way that no one could bear to look for too long, according to your gossip source – Elain.
Feyre had given a false name to the fairy assassin. And you could swear she didn't know what had happened to that poor girl. And perhaps you weren't the most suitable person to tell her about the event; Feyre seemed happy sharing her new experiences. And you? You would allow yourself to be selfish for a moment.
"I understand."
Your sisters and your father went to the seasonal ball, and despite Elain's insistence, that wasn't your place. Your place was anywhere as long as it was far from high society. You certainly didn't fit the standards imposed by them, even though those who looked at you were dazzled.
"A beauty never seen before."
"I would die for features as delicate as yours."
"It's truly a shame…"
Feyre promised to come back early, just like you; she didn't like crowds and pompous people. Feyre promised to come back early.
So you did the only thing that was possible – you waited. Waited while eating, waited while talking to some servants, waited while invading Elain's garden, and waited until you got tired and chose the living room sofa as a great place to rest.
Inevitably, your eyes began to weigh, and before you realized it, sleep completely took you, plunging you into a deep state of peace, unable to hear the hurried steps through the house and the slam of the door closing.
Feyre promised to come back early.
Feyre hated goodbyes.
Perhaps, just perhaps, you should have already imagined that this would happen. Feyre was in love with the beast, and people in love tend to do foolish things.
That didn't ease the chest pain you felt when the next morning you were informed that she had returned to the fae lands in search of her High Lord. The feelings of betrayal and sadness walked hand in hand.
At the same time, you couldn't find the strength to harbor resentment towards her. Why would you? For the first time in her life, your sister was dedicating herself to something that truly made her happy. It didn't matter if she was leaving her family behind, right? No, that mattered to you.
Nesta hated dealing with your whirlwind of emotions; she hated that you depended on someone to be happy, and she made it clear when you woke up.
"Feyre is not responsible for what you feel. You are allowing yourself to stay in this state. Stop depending on her to live."
Despite being harsh, Nesta was spot-on with her words. Feyre was finally living her dream life; it was time for you to start living yours too, without anyone dictating how you should feel.
And thinking about this led you to where you were now, with your hands covered in clay – and probably not just your hands – trying to give some shape to that earthy mass on the spinning table in the studio.
Your mind wandered through all the possibilities of sculpture. Sculpting things your fingers had memorized or even inventing new forms to call conceptual. It would be ironic if your sculptures became famous.
Humming to yourself, your fingers gently moved over the clay's edges, shaping a small sphere; you pulled five points out and rounded the edges.
"They look like fingers." Merina's voice made you jump on the stool; Merina was one of the maids you had become close to, she had such a calm and gentle voice that, if you let her, could lull you to sleep.
"Well, I hope so. I'd be very upset if they looked like something else." You laughed, still molding your supposed fingers. Merina dragged a stool to join you, after, of course, looking down the hall to make sure no one was approaching.
She looked amazed at your hands giving life to the clay. Inevitably, her mind wandered, how? How were you capable? Feeling where your mind wandered, you chuckled softly and tilted your head in a silent invitation. Merina cleared her throat and asked:
"Why a hand?"
You subtly widened your eyes; that certainly wasn't the question you were expecting. A hum came from your throat before you answered Merina.
"It's with my hands that I see; they are my eyes to the world," you replied, licking your lips as you pondered, "I don't know how I manage it; I fear there's no logical explanation for it."
Merina didn't say anything, just grunted in response. Extending your hand, you searched the table until you found a small knife; bringing it close to the sculpture, you began making small fillets with it all along the hand's length.
Merina turned to you curiously, not understanding why you were deforming the piece. She gently nudged you with a – painfully pointed – question.
"Hmm, I've been thinking about it lately, hands with scars," you made one final cut and dropped the knife. Merina reached for an old cloth to help you clean your hands, "thank you. What would it be like to see with these hands? Would the texture of things be different? Or would the sensitivity be greater?" You rambled to her.
There were so many questions to consider, and in your opinion, you could already be considered a hands expert. That made you laugh.
Merina took the cloth from your hands and brought it toward your face, cleaning some clay splatters that had strayed there.
"I hope you don't have the answers on your own. It must be a horrible pain to have your hands torn apart." She commented, lowering the cloth.
A horrible pain? Makes sense. Whoever has hands like that must have a melancholic story behind them.
"You're right."
As promised, you lived your life the best way possible, and sculptures paved the way to your heart. Over time, your clay skills became refined, even daring to sculpt the features of your sisters; Nesta was your biggest supporter, even if she didn't admit it, there wasn't a day she didn't pass by to make sure your stock was full.
Each sister had their own shelf containing everything you thought resembled them. Elain had sculpted flowers and cakes, Nesta had books and red jewels, and Feyre had an arrow – just a sculpture, but it was the one you dedicated the most time to, whether smoothing the edges or trying to paint in the right places.
Because even though Feyre was a million miles away, you would love her all the way, and even if she never came back, you would find your way to her through the heart.
You wouldn't wait for her, but you wouldn't forget everything you had been through together.
And you might not even believe she would come back, but that tingling you felt in your fingers when you heard a knock on the door made you doubt your mental state.
It may be that besides being blind, you're also becoming deaf because hearing your sister's name from Elain's lips after so long is not a sign of good auditory nostalgia.
"Feyre?"
TAGLIST:
@dearestdaffodils @going-through-shit
@valeridarkness @wallacewillow0773638
@harrystylesfan2686 @carnationworld
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@esposadomd @justdreamstars
@microwaveallthedemons
#~rhenysz#azriel x reader#acotar x reader#azriel acotar#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x you#slow burn#eventual smut#eventual romance#feyre archeron#nesta archeron#elain archeron
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When the Corroded Coffin makes it, Eddie leans into the success completely. He can't really help it, he never thought he'd make it anywhere, wouldn't even have a moderately comfortable life and now he's here, people love him, want him, think he's worth their time. It's intoxicating and he feels like if he slows down for just a second, he'll lose it all.
Steve is supportive, of course he is. It's everything Eddie's ever wanted, success in the world and the most amazing person at home, loving him unconditionally. But Eddie grows more and more frantic about his work, tours, everything. He loves Steve so much, he talks about him in awards ceremonies, in interviews and credits him as his forever muse that he maybe forgets a little that random people who he'll never meet hear more about his love for his boyfriend than Steve himself.
Maybe if he took a moment to think, Eddie would have remembered that Steve was left alone for most of his teenage years, that the love he had was real but distant. That this love always stopped him from asking for more, asking for time spent together, for actions, not words. But he didn't.
After many dinners wrapped in cellophane and tossed in the fridge, postponed dates, hurried goodbye kisses and whispered promises over the phone that never come true, it happens. Steve doesn't blame him, doesn't scream or snap, but Eddie would have preferred if he did. He just calmly tells him that he loves him, will always love Eddie and he can't imagine there being anyone else, but he finally realized that while he's happy for Eddie, he can't live through someone else's dream. He needs, wants more than another empty house and waiting, so much waiting. He kisses Eddie goodbye and whispers, "I'm so happy you managed to break your cycle, Eddie. The crime, poverty...I'm so proud of you. But now I need to break my own."
---
As Steve fully settles in his own apartment almost a year later, heart aching but finally not paralyzed, he turns on the radio and hears a familiar voice, like the sweetest pain. He sings a new song, one that Steve doesn't know.
I painted your room at midnight
So I'd know yesterday was over
I put all your books on the top shelf
Even the one with the four leaf clover
Man, I'm getting older
I took all your pictures off the wall
And wrapped them in a newspaper blanket
I haven't slept in what seems like a century
And now I can barely breathe
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer sky
When you and I were getting high as outer space
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late
Your words still serenade me
Your lullabies won't let me sleep
I've never heard such a haunting melody
Oh, it's killing me
You know I can barely breathe
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer sky
When you and I were getting high as outer space
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late
The last soft tones finish and Steve takes a deep breath, shaky and uncertain. He loves his new life, loves what he's doing, studying to save lives, and yet...
It's almost funny. They broke up a year ago, yet Eddie never left him behind. There was no pressure to get back together, no unwanted declarations of love, just...showing. Steve told Eddie that he needed actions, not words, and here he was, for a year, giving Steve the space he needed but always checking in, always making sure Steve was okay.
Eddie's words were his actions and Steve finally understands how to break his own cycle. Being alone doesn't mean he's lonely. Not when Eddie's thoughts never leave him.
Not when he remembers the four leaf clover he scribbled into his textbook.
When he says he always thinks of Steve when seeing dandelions, so bright and comforting, like home.
The nights they spent together, drunk on each other's presence.
And the melody Steve always hummed when he got out of shower.
He reaches for his phone, their careful messages blinking at him, making him wonder how this love can feel so distant yet so real.
I hope your classes are going well, Stevie.
Wayne says hi. He says he'll call you next Tuesday.
I hope you found what you were looking for.
I hope you're happy.
I'm thinking about you, always.
He types something cheesy and ridiculous, but he can't help himself. He just feels loved, seen.
What if I told you that you aren't too late, crow?
His phone dings back almost immediately and he smiles.
#steddie#steddie drabble#steddie songfic#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie song rec#stranger things#stranger things drabble
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Hi! So, I'm asexual. I know I'm asexual. Like, I didn't realize sex was something people my age were engaging in until I was in like grade 11 because I felt such a disconnect and assumed media just blew everything about sex way out of proportion. I'm also somewhere between sex repulsed and sex neutral. The thought of having sex either seems like and absolute chore (on good days) or is something that makes me feel- no joke- pure , visceral revulsion at the mere thought (on bad ones.) However, I WANT to want sex more than anything. I think on SOME days I'd be ok with being the recieving partner, but I'd never want to reciprocate (ESPECIALLY when it comes to oral sex, thats is something I have always had a really strong negative reaction to thinking about) but being willing to take it and not reciprocate out seems unfair to whoever I'd be with (i've been told it's selfish or rude when i've expressed this to friends), even if me engaging in any sort of sexual activity in the first place would be for their sake (relationships are about compromise and thats a compromise I'd be okay with). That said, I'm not sure a partner out there like that exists and I'm tired of the well meaning bullshit I get from friends being like 'you'll find someone who's gonna love you for you' because no, I haven't and chances are I won't. I'm biromantic, but I experience more attraction to women but still wouldn't really want to have sex with any of them, and considering theres a lot of buzz about how 'lesbian sex is the best sex' because both partners typically consistently and frequently get off, it seems like a bit of a reach to think I could find a girl willing to date me who doesn't want sex. Yes, other asexual folks exist, but considering i don't tend to advertize the fact I'm ace and because I don't dress in a way that could get me clocked as queer, I don't tend to meet a lot (read, any) ace people in my daily life. ANYWAY this is kind of a really in depth plea of me basically asking if there is any resource or literature that can teach me or make me not necessarily DESIRE sex (because I know that can't happen) but mentally become okay with engaging in sex. Like could I, a generally sex repulsed asexual, somehow become a sex favourable asexual through some sort of therapy or other means?
Hi!
Here's the thing, Anon. It's not unfair, selfish or rude to prefer not to reciprocate and/or "take it" during sex. That's just a preference. In fact, in the lesbian community, that's often called being a "stone bottom".
Your friends are in fact incorrect and you should know that having sexual preferences like that are never unfair or rude: you just have to communicate with your partner(s). It's literally fine.
But also, you're talking about being sex repulsed. Sex feels like a chore to you. It's not a good idea to look at sex as a chore you're willing to do for your partner. Especially when sex does make you feel ill often enough it's worth noting.
I'm not saying you can't do it but I am saying if you don't pay attention to your own boundaries, you might just wind up resenting your partner and not being able to tell where your "Hard No's" [As in boundaries that are non-negotiable and that you are not compromising on!!!] are.
It's okay if sex is a Hard No for you, even if it doesn't always make you feel ill. That's your right.
And yes, there is a lot of buzz about lesbian sex being the best. (Which partially has a lot to do with lesbophobia and the cisheteronormative views on lesbian sex "not even being sex".) But that does not mean it's a reach that another girl would want to date you without sex.
It doesn't have to be a girl who doesn't want sex, Anon; there are so many different ways to have sex and ways people enjoy it. For example, there are people who only enjoy masturbation or simply don't mind not having sex with others, especially if it means they can date someone they like.
I genuinely can't help you on finding something that will make you "okay" with engaging in sex and I'm really sorry, Anon.
You could try a sex therapist (they're supposed to be equipped for all manners of issues related to sex) but I don't feel comfortable pointing to any specific therapy methods when a lot of them are based in the idea people are "wrong" in some way for being sex repulsed and they're often hurtful and unhealthy.
But I can say that I'd really recommend joining some online ace communities, specifically with other lesbians/sapphics and talk to some other ace people there. This isn't a you issue, Anon, these are all very common worries that ace people, specifically alloace people have and it might help to talk to other people with similar experiences.
I wish I could help more. Let me know if you have any other questions, Anon. <3
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Love your writing!!
Can I request an Adam x Lucifer’s Ex! reader? Reader is basically the same rank as Lucifer was (so he’s the same strength as him too) Basically, they split up after he and Lilith got together and gave Eve the Apple. Reader is extremely depressed about it but then he meets one of the humans from Eden, Adam . And they find solidarity and comfort in going through the same/similar situation.
Lowkey giving that one scene from Steven Universe (No idea if you’ve watched/like SU so, if you’re not sure what I’m talking about, I’ll link it here. (If you want, you can probably just skip to the time stamps or watch all of it, either’s fine, but it starts at 2:33 and ends around 3:11
Spoilers for Steven Universe, if you even care.
https://youtu.be/PnlRR0rX_Q0?feature=shared
(The context for the SU scene is ofc different, but just the overall vibe of it is what I mean.) but just 2 people abandoned by someone who was supposed to be their soulmate (Twice for Adam) and them finding love in each other in the end.
(Like, imagine both the fluff AND angst potential.)
Also!! If/After you write this one, I might request a Part 2 of this with angst for the aftermath of EP.8. (ONLY if you’re ok with it OFC! If not, just tell me in your A/N for this one and I won’t send it!!)
I hope you have a great day!!!! 💙💙
Okay first of all: gimme that EP 8 request right now, I need it soooo badly °^° I haven't seen SU but I've watched the scene you linked and it helped to get the vibe right so much, this is a lil short but dragging it out just to make it appear longer felt wrong. I hope you like it though. Also friendly reminder: this is set in Eden before Adam became a douchebag.
Part 2
I'm a jester and I'm yours, call me your fool
pairing: Adam x male!reader
warnings: language, hurt (with comfort)
note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers
Eden had always been the place for you to ge whenever you felt sad or upset, it calmed you down, eased your mind, made your thoughts shut up for only a couple moments. Lucifer had betrayed you, you knew that, you also knew that it had been for the best to end things with him before he would take it too far with his wish for free will and with the things that were going on between him and Lilith. And before you even realized how sad that made you feel, to be betrayed, to be replaced by a mortal soul that would never be as pure as you were, you started crying - it wasn’t loud and if someone wouldn’t have paid attention it was also not visible but Adam did pay attention. Lucifer and Lilith had given Eve the apple, the forbidden fruit, how much further would heaven allow them to go? You weren’t sure. What you were sure about though, was the fact that you missed Lucifer, you missed his warmth, his chaotic yet gentle way of handling things, no matter what it was. You missed his creative mind, his joyful character, the love he had held for you that he had never been able to hide. You missed your clumsy blonde little angel - you shook your head, no, he was no longer yours.
And while you tried to sort your emotions out, the brunette human carefully creeped closer, he noticed your sadness and despite the fact that he didn’t know why you were crying, he felt like he understood without knowing the true reason - he had heard them whispering about it. About how Lucifer had left his boyfriend in order to get together with the first woman, his ex wife, Lilith. And while one loss alone had been seemingly impossible to carry, Adam had not only lost Lilith to his former best friend, he had also lost Eve. Eve, who had tried to talk him into eating the apple as well, he had refused to though, he wanted to remain pure, if she decided that wasn’t for her though, then that was her deal and not Adam’s.
Once he had reached you, he quietly sat down next to you, he wanted to take the sadness away from you, a creature as gorgeous and heavenly as yours should not sit in Eden and cry. He wanted to ask you why you were crying, who caused all those tears but he felt like it wasn’t his place to do so - you were an angel after all. Was he even allowed to sit next to you? The first man didn’t know, but he was sure that if he wouldn’t be allowed near you, you would tell him so. Lucifer might be disobeying heaven’s rules, but you? You looked too pure to do so.
You quickly wiped your tears away as soon as you noticed the presence next to you, when you turned your head to look at the person that had decided to take their place by your side, you were quite surprised to see the face of the first man there. “You look so sad,” the brunette hummed as he reached out to gently touch your cheek. Your golden, broken looking eyes met equally broken brown ones and you somehow found comfort in them, even though they belonged to a total stranger. “Yeah,” you softly chuckled at his words, a small smile forced itself onto your lips, “I guess that’s normal when you get dumped, though.” So the rumors had been true, Lucifer had left his boyfriend for Adam’s former wife. He inhaled deeply, “That’s what love brings.” And yeah, he had a point. Love was able to bring joy and happiness, but it could also take those feelings away from you within seconds. Carefully you leaned into Adam’s touch and closed your eyes as you breathed in the scent of the brunette. “A creature as beautiful as you shouldn’t be sad over losing someone like Lucifer though,” the first man continued and gently caressed your cheek with his thumb, wiping away all remains of your tears. “That’s so easy to say, Adam,” your voice cracked when you said his name and you opened your eyes again, “He was everything.” Adam nodded, he understood, “So was Eve. And Lilith. But sometimes they choose a different path than you do and there is nothing you can do to change that.”
And looking at it that way made you realize that Adam was in the same situation as you were, a situation that tore apart everything just because Lucifer had made a reckless decision. You had lost everything and so had Adam, you were sitting in the same boat, sailing the same ocean of sadness. But now you had found each other, so at least you weren’t sailing alone anymore. “Adam?” you asked quietly as you looked at the first man, making sure you’d get nothing but honesty when your eyes met his, “Can you stay?” And without hesitation the first man nodded, this would not only bring you comfort and take a little bit of the sadness away from you, no, the brunette would also find comfort in this, you would keep his mind busy and that he was very thankful for.
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i've been seeing the take recently that what aang is actually encouraging katara to do is to forgive herself and that he’s not explicitly encouraging or expecting her to forgive yon rha.
the ironic thing is that i do think part of what katara needed from the experience of confronting yon rha was to let go of the guilt she held for her mother sacrificing herself for katara. i find this especially evident in the scene where she recounts the story to zuko and remarks that she's "not the helpless little girl" she was when they came, and how enraged she becomes when yon rha asks who kya was protecting. but though she ultimately chooses not to take revenge, katara facing yon rha and realizing what he did is about him and what kind of person he is and was never her fault is ultimately a good thing. it’s not an easy or fun experience, but i do think it was a very necessary one.
i might be somewhat less critical of aang in this episode if that actually was what he was saying (though if he went about it in the exact same way, i would still find it condescending and not a productive way of reaching out to her.)
but that’s just… literally not what he’s saying.
Zuko: Sokka told me the story of what happened. I know who did it and I know how to find him. Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish? Katara [Shakes her head in dismay.] Ugh, I knew you wouldn't understand. [Begins to walk away.] Aang: Wait! Stop! I do understand. You're feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people? Zuko: She needs this, Aang. This is about getting closure and justice. Aang: I don't think so. I think it's about getting revenge. Katara [Angrily.] Fine, maybe it is! Maybe that's what I need! Maybe that's what he deserves! Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.
i think this is the one interaction between aang and katara in which you could maybe argue that he wants her to forgive herself, as he brings up something he's expressed guilt about before, in the storm, (running away before the fire nation killed the air nomads), and she comforted him there and encouraged him not to feel guilty.
but the thing is, he doesn't say anything about how she shouldn't feel guilty. he tries to acknowledge what she's feeling, which is good, but if he was honestly trying to encourage her to forgive herself, i think he would remind her of how she comforted him when he expressed his own guilt. i'm not even totally sure how in tune he is with her guilt. it's not something he mentions when expressing he knows how she feels. (and this isn't me saying he's awful to not know that; it's not something he can necessarily know unless she's expressed it to him, which we haven't seen. but we have seen her try to connect with him over her mother’s death to empathize with him in the southern air temple, and he doesn’t really acknowledge it. so, i do think it shows he has an overly simplistic understanding of her emotions, and that he's not thinking about this in the framework of forgiving oneself.)
if the writers wanted to showcase him encouraging her to forgive herself, they could have had aang say something like, "i know how badly losing your mother must have hurt, but it wasn't your fault, and i'm worried that confronting the man who killed her won't help you."
instead, he immediately makes an argument about moral corruption - he thinks it is about revenge and expresses she sounds like jet because of it. that... is not encouraging her to forgive herself. it's a judgment based on morality. you can argue about whether aang's right or not (i, personally, find his stance reductive in context, but to each their own), but he is absolutely being judgmental here.
this is when the concept of forgiveness comes up:
Katara: Now that I know he's out there ... now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice. Aang: Katara, you do have a choice: forgiveness. Zuko: That's the same as doing nothing! Aang: No, it's not. It's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive. Katara: It's not just hard, it's impossible. [Cuts to overhead shot of the field as she walks away, Zuko following behind.]
in it, aang encourages forgiveness directly after katara expresses she feels she has no choice but to confront her mother’s killer. even if aang does mean forgiveness for herself, katara does not hear it that way, as is made evident by the fact she insists forgiveness would be impossible here, and if he does mean forgiveness for herself, i don't know why he wouldn't try to correct that misunderstanding.
Aang: So you were just gonna take Appa anyway? Katara: Yes. Aang: It's okay, because I forgive you. [Pauses.] That give you any ideas?
this might actually be my least favorite part of the episode. while it is generally not nice to take a friend's sky bison without permission, it is so genuinely condescending and a false equivalence to even try to compare that to the murder of her mother, particularly because of how smug aang is about his example of forgiving her for it.
also, aang is trying to "give [her] ideas" about what she should do, and it's clear he doesn't blame himself for katara taking appa. he is not forgiving himself here and telling her that’s what she should do. his point is that he's forgiving her and thinks she should do the same. (for the man. who murdered. her mother. and, while we're at it, would have murdered katara herself if he knew the truth. it is just... not the same situation at all.)
Katara: Don't try to stop us. Aang: I wasn't planning to. This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man. [Katara situates herself on Appa's head.] But when you do, please don't choose revenge. Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.
aaaand there we have it.
aang 100% wants and tells katara to forgive her mother's killer. even if you think he also wants her to find healing (which i actually agree he does want for her, but i don't think he expresses it well/in a way that is likely to reach her, and the show acts like he is wise for this regardless) and forgive herself (if he does realize katara needs this, it's not something he expresses), he also very much does absolutely tell katara to forgive her mother's murderer, and that she won't find healing without doing so.
you can agree or disagree with his stance, but that is absolutely the argument he is making, and it’s weird to try to act like it’s not.
and, as i said before, i personally find it reductive. there are things in this world that we should be angry at. there are things people find impossible to forgive. those things may be different for everyone, but they do exist, and that's completely morally neutral. i find the idea that katara has to forgive the man who killed her mother in an act of imperalist violence in order to find healing and inner peace disturbing. no, actually, she doesn't!
this ideology is also very commonly weaponized against abuse survivors in particular, which is a big part of why it is significant that zuko goes with katara on this journey and defends her right not to forgive yon rha, even as he later also respects her decision not to kill him, which shatters the whole false dichotomy of forgiveness vs revenge being presented by aang’s role in the episode.
we don't actually see the talk in which zuko tells aang about what happened, but based on his perspective the whole episode, i very much doubt he framed it as "katara decided to forgive yon rha."
Aang: Zuko told me what you did. Or what you didn't do, I guess. I'm proud of you. Katara: I wanted to do it. I wanted to take out all my anger at him, but I couldn't. I don't know if it's because I'm too weak to do it or because I'm strong enough not to. Aang: You did the right thing. Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing. Katara [Rises from boardwalk.]: But I didn't forgive him. I'll never forgive him.
aang hears about what happened and assumes that because katara didn't kill yon rha, she forgave him, and katara corrects him. she (quite angrily) tells aang that she didn’t forgive yon rha, and she never will. katara knows exactly what aang was telling her to do, and even at the end of the episode, it’s clear she resents it and resents aang being “proud of her” for his assumption.
#antikataang#aang critical#discourse#ask to tag //#long post //#atla#atla critical#i have complicated feelings about the ep because there is a very large disconnect between what it actually says vs how it’s framed#katara#aang#the southern raiders
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— drunk walk home
nico robin (one piece) x gn!reader
genre: fluff
summary: robin helps you back to the ship after a night spent drinking with zoro
warnings: language
wc: 1.2k
you should've known better than to drink on the island with zoro who could drink multiple bottles and hardly be tipsy whereas you drink one and you're on the floor passed out. but, he kept insisting that you needed a reliever, so you listened and went with him. the bar was decent, not a lot of people which you liked, and the drinks were better than you expected. the only downside was the fact zoro kept ordering more rounds for you both, which left you where you are now, stumbling beside him trying to find your way back to the boat.
“do you even know where we're going?” you asked the male, words slurring together as you spoke.
“not a damn clue,” zoro answered, almost falling onto you.
“hey, don't fall on me! i won't be able to drag your ass back to the boat!” you pushed him a little bit.
“are you calling me fat?!” he exclaimed.
“what?! i never said that!” you retorted loudly.
“you did!”
“did not!”
“did!”
“not!”
you pushed zoro again, except this time, you lost your balance in the process and was about to fall face first into the ground until you didn't. you were waiting for the impact that never came, and at first you thought somehow, zoro caught you. but, when you looked up to see who actually did, a smile instantly pulled at your lips.
“robin! you saved me!” you said happily.
“haven't i told you to not go drinking with zoro when we reach an island?” robin asked, pulling you back up to your feet.
“oh it's just one time! i’m completely fine! right zoro?” you responded, turning to look at zoro who was now gone.
“you could hurt yourself, you know,” robin told you.
“but thankfully you were here to save me!” you smiled still, stumbling over your own feet while trying to remain standing still.
one of robin’s hands moved to your waist to steady you in place, noticing your stumbles as she shook her head, “let's head back to the ship,” she said.
“aw fine,” you pouted, starting to walk only to stumble around again.
robin caught you, again, and pulled you closer to her with one of her hands so she could make sure you wouldn't fall. you looked up at her as she led you back to the boat, smiling.
“i’m so glad you stuck around,” you told her randomly.
robin looked down at you with confusion, “what do you mean?” she asked.
“i mean i’m glad you decided to stay with us. i know we can be a handful, but i’m happy you stayed,” you answered, one of your hands reaching for her other free one.
you've had a crush on robin for a while now, but never said anything out of fear despite nami constantly insisting that it would work out fine. little did you know that robin felt the same way and was also struggling with poor nami trying to convince one of you to just confess to the other.
“i’m happy i did too,” robin smiled down at you, watching you fiddle with her hand.
“have i ever told you how you're my favorite?” you said, “but don't tell sanji, he thinks he is.”
one of her eyebrows raised at your words, not being able to tell if this was the truth and was now coming to the surface because of the alcohol, or if it was strictly the alcohol in general. “am i?” she asked.
“yep!” you nodded. “you've always been my favorite since i've met you! i've never told you because of me being a coward even with nami saying that it would be fine but i couldn't! it's just- you're so pretty and i could never stand a chance so i never said anything! i mean, even zoro saw through me earlier tonight! i’m doomed!” you ranted slightly, not entirely realizing what you were saying as you looked down at her hand in yours.
robin suddenly stopped walking, her arm stopping you as well as she looked down at you. “y/n, do you have feelings for me?” she asked.
the look on your face as she asked that question was almost amusing at how you looked like a deer caught in headlights. “oh, well, uhm, i uh, well, yes,” you answered, now feeling dead sober. “oh my gosh i just fucked this up, didn't i?” you asked aloud.
“you didn't mess anything up,” robin said, both of her hands now holding your face. “i have feelings for you too, y/n.” she smiled at you.
now your face looked shocked, “you do?” you asked.
“yes,” she nodded. “i have for a while, and was also speaking with nami on the matter.”
“really?” you asked again, not believing it was true.
robin let out a chuckle and nodded again, “yes,” she told you.
there was a silence that filled around the two of you, and you looked at her with a small smile growing on your face. “can i kiss you?” you asked her.
she didn't reply, but instead leaned forward and kissed you first. your smile instantly grew as you kissed back, your hands moving to wrap around her neck when she pulled away.
“shall we head back to the ship now?” robin asked you.
“if i get to sleep in your bed with you,” you answered.
“of course,” she nodded.
“then yes! let's go back!” you said happily, pointing to the direction of the docks.
robin chuckled and held onto your hand while beginning to walk again towards the ship with you following right beside her with a bright smile on your face.
when the two of you made it back to the ship, somehow zoro found his way back and was already sleeping. nami was awake when she saw you two get on the ship, immediately seeing your hands holding onto each other and she gave a thumbs up with a small smile to robin who was taking you to her room on the boat.
you immediately laid on the bed once you saw it, still smiling lightly as robin situated herself next to you on the bed, looking over at you. you glanced over at her and rolled over onto your side, smiling at her.
“so, does this mean we're like, together now?” you asked her.
“if that's what you want, then sure,” she nodded.
“of course that's what i want,” you told her.
“then we are,” she said, kissing your forehead.
robin then turned the light off and looked back at you, “good night,”
when you didn't respond, she knew you had already fallen asleep and let out a chuckle. she pulled the blanket onto you both and rested her head on the pillow, smiling at your sleeping figure. she could hardly believe this somehow worked, but she was happy that it did. it meant neither of you would have to worry and stress about the other possibly not feeling the same. and that was nice. also for nami to not have to deal with watching you two struggling the whole time. that was also nice for her.
#one piece x reader#op x reader#one piece imagine#op imagines#one piece scenario#op scenario#nico robin x reader#robin x reader#nico robin imagine#nico robin scenario#robin scenario#robin imagine
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At Sea Without a Map Pt. 14
"I don't know who I am," you tell Calibani. "A while ago I just woke up here, on this boat, surrounded by ocean everywhere I could see. I don't know how I got here, I don't know how long I've been here because I didn't both to keep track of how many days had passed and haven't seen a reason to start now, I don't know where I'm going or where I'm coming from." The words pour out of you more and more as you confess your situation in full. "I don't even know my real name! I had one, I know I had one, and that at one point I had a life, a family, friends probably, a job, an apartment or house or something... that I lived on land and in a town or a city with lots of other people and no monsters but now I'm here, just here, stranded with no idea of how I got here or how to get back to where I'm supposed to be or even what my goddamn name is!"
Only when you stop do you realize how worked up you've become - the rapid beating of your heart, the great heaving of your chest as your lungs hyperventilate to keep up with your passion. Actually stopping to think about your situation has been something you've avoided for a while now - you've kept your focus based on smaller decisions, limited to four options, nice and tidy and manageable, unlike the whole... entire... raw ass deal you're dealing with in the big picture of things. Sweat pours down your brow as you struggle to regain your composure.
But then...
You feel Calibani's hand reach out and hold yours before you see it, your eyes watching as her scaly talons curl in gently to give your palm a gentle squeeze. "It's ok," she says softly. "You've been through a lot, but it's ok."
She leans in close and gives you the most reassuring smile a sharp-toothed, snake-eyed sea monster can give a human being after admitting to having eaten humans in the past. "You're not alone in this. We can find more humans together, and they can help you get home. If there's one thing you've taught me, it's that humans are clever and resourceful, and if there's one thing I know how to do, it's how to hunt down humans. We'll find them together in no time!"
Her words lift a great weight off of your chest, and in that moment you're tempted to pull her into a hug, but you're not sure if you've reached the "hugs allowed" stage of this friendship, so you settle for giving her hand a friendly pat back. "I know one place we could start looking," Calibani tells you, only for her smile to waver a bit. "But it's dangerous, so we'll have to keep our wits about us when we go there, alright?"
It's an interesting proposition, but should you accept? You consult your compass.
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Hetch, as a note before I send this message, I've never once played a role to you or Ranboo or anyone else. My name's Jordan. They/them. I'm much younger than you but I've got eye bags and grey hair that match yours. I've spent most of my life trying, in one way or another, to help people in situations like yours and Ranboo's. If I were in your world, I would have tried to get you as many legal, financial, and medical resources as you could.
I don't know what to say. There's so much TO say and all of it is goodbyes. I want to ask about everyone - Cameron and Ashley, whether Mike made it back or not. Jerma and the entire cast and crew and what's happened to Showfall itself.
You've had a month to get ready to say goodbye but we haven't. I want to thank you for everything, to express how much we love you and love having been part of your lives. To wish you the best of luck as life goes on. To celebrate the time we've spent together.
But I guess I don't know how much you'll hear this from the others so I'll try to focus on one thing. And I think I speak for most of us, but I might not. In that case, it's from me personally.
I'm sorry. Deeply, from the bottom of my heart, I apologize. To everyone we've affected and to you specifically.
We entered your world without your permission, under a power that only Janine understood. We teased you, we played around, we didn't respect you because you were only fictional to us. We're the reason you almost died (not through our own fault, but still). I've been so morbidly curious about your life story that I've encouraged people to ask for a glimpse at your future if we'd voted differently, because I (thinking of you as only fictional) wanted to know more about you even if that required seeing you in pain.
We've joked to you about things that you were clearly horrified or disgusted by. We kept calling you "babygirl" to your face against your will - and I can't speak for anyone else about this, but I personally thought that this would be sexual harassment if you were "real." I hope it's the loving nickname we meant it as rather than a despised term, but my hope doesn't change the way it actually affected you.
Ranboo, we've known things about your life that should have been private. That also wasn't under our control, but we could have stopped reading at any time and we didn't. Our constant eyes on you as a vulnerable teen probably hurt you sometimes in ways I don't even remember or haven't considered.
Sneeg, I'm sorry I didn't ask if you wanted to be reached out to as much as the others. Charlie, I'm sorry I didn't ask if you wanted a break from us at any point. And I'm sorry that there are probably a million other sorries I don't have time to give.
I don't expect an answer to all of this. But I wanted to tell you this as part of my goodbye. Love you all.
And for the sake of making sure this message can get to you... please react in a way that only shows one person in the frame for us? Without much talking?
Everyone, please don't listen to this part but Hetch. And Hetch, please cover your ears if you don't want to know something about yourself that you haven't realized yet. Or maybe I'll need to send in a separate censored version of this before it reaches you?
Alright, if you're listening, this is about your own sexuality maybe not being what you think it is. Please cover your ears at any time. But I have good reason to believe that you're bisexual. It's a good thing, a beautiful thing. But no one can determine who you are but you.
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Security part 2
There will also be a part 2 with an alternative ending!
Alex POV
I was sitting, talking to Christen, Tobin, and Megan when I heard the door open and saw Kelley enter. She took one look at me before she turn and went to join the table with the youngsters.
"What's going on between you and Kelley? You guys haven't spoke since practice yesterday" Megan asked looking at me
"We've spoken"
"Like two words" Tobin said
"We just don't agree on something, she'll get over it" I said looking over a Kelley who was glaring at me
That enough, I thought. I don't need Kelley attitude giving it away.
"Let's go talk" I said looking at her as she slowly followed me outside the room and down the hallway.
"What's your problem?"
"You know what my problem is" Kelley said with attitude
"You aren't still talking about (y/n) are you?" I asked causing Kelley to continue to glare at me as she responded "of course I'm still mad at you for that. You should go see her and say sorry. Let her met the real you, not the scared one. You may never get the chance to after this surgery. I mean it fricking heart surgery, she could died for all we know. And that's how you want to leave things with your daughter? You calling security on her?"
I stare at Kelley for a minute and as I felt all the emotions I've felt that I've pushed away reach me.
"She doesn't need me, she has her mom" I said sadly turning to walk away from her
"That's not what it looked like yesterday. She wanted to meet you. That seems like she wanted you in her life"
"Kelley! Don't you get it! I gave her up! I lost any right I had to be her mom or apart of her life that day." I said as tears reached my eyes that I quickly wiped
"You are the kid's mom?" I heard causing me to quickly turn and see Ash and Ali standing their in shock
"You aren't wrong, you did give up your right to be her mom. You didn't however give up your rights to be a part of her life, especially if she reached out to you" ash said
"I have to fix this" I said
"And we will help you" Ali said —————————————————
I ran as fast as I could to through the hospital, looking for (y/n) or her mom. I had to make it to her before her surgery, I had to let her know I was sorry.
I felt my lungs burn as ran, dodging people and things as I went. Ignoring the shouts to slow down or stop running. My only thought was to her reach her.
I round the corner and felt my heart rate increase even more and I felt sick to my stomach at the sight in front of me.
(Y/n) mom was in tears as the doctor held her.
"No, my baby" I hear her cry out repeatedly as the doctor continued to comfortable her.
I felt my throat tighten, as the realization of this means hit me. I'm too late. She already in surgery and she didn't make it. I'll never get to talk to her, build a relationship with her, see her grow up
The first sob ripped through my body as I fell to the ground with tears starting to fall down my face.
"I didn't make" I sobbed out as I felt someone pull me them as I felt there tears fall on to my shoulder
"I'm too late" I continue turning to look at who is holding them. I looked to see Kelley holding me as tears feel down her face as she looked at me.
"Alex" I heard Allie say as she gentle help me to my feet as (y/n) mom made her way to us with tears streaming down her face
She looked at me with a look of disgust.
"Now you decide to show up. Once she dead. You couldn't have figured this out yesterday after you called security on her or this morning before she went into surgery. To think that when I signed her adoption papers and made the amendment that if someday you realized your mistake of giving up a wonderful daughter. That I would give her back. You parents thought for sure that I would have her two years max. That you would come back for your daughter. How wrong we were." She said said causing more tears to come to my eyes as she put reality in to perspective for me.
I had know I could take her back, but I never did. I selfishly put soccer over my daughter. I put my life before my daughters.
"You know, she went into that surgery thinking you didn't love her. That's she was a mistake and should have never been born. I worked years to get those thoughts out of her head when she was younger and it took one conversation with you to pull them all back. I held her as she cried over it last night. A night that should have been calm and maybe full of nerves for her surgery today. You did that Alex and now you have to live with that for the rest of your life" she said as more tears fell down my face as angry rose in me as she walked away with the doctor
Angry at all my decisions, angry for making a young girl feel like a mistake, angry for never realizing what I gave up.
"Alex" Kelley said gently and I knew she was worried for my reaction
"We should go" Tobin said moving slowly to help guide me out but as soon as her and Kelley touched me, all my angry exploded
"DONT" I yelled shoving there hands away
"I fucked up" I said angrily pushing them away I went to move away from them, not sure to where I was heading
"I fucked when I gave her up! I continued to fuck over the years but not getting her back. I fucked up by calling security on her." I said angrily at them as I saw everyone worried faces, most of them having tears coming down there faces
"I managed to fuck up by not getting her in enough time to tell her I've always loved her. That my biggest regret was never getting her back. Now it's to late" I mumbled as all the anger left me and numbing feeling took over my body.
I would never forgive myself for this.
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them as love interests (aot + jjk | modern au)
✧ ft :: itadori yuuji, armin arlert, eren jaeger, jean kirstein x gn!reader
→ these were so fun to write omg </3 I can't help being a fluff enthusiast MY HEARTSTRINGS
→ ITADORI YUUJI
━ he's the sweetheart who's actually kind of popular but it isn't really known. people talk about him within their friend groups and he's constantly getting invited to events, but he'd rather hang out with his really close friends or people he notices are usually left out or alone.
━ he has his way of making people feel special, especially you. he'll notice any changes you make to your appearances or possessions, and every morning he goes over to your desk and points it out with a comforting smile or if you haven't changed anything then he still compliments you. it always makes your heart jump because it shows he's attentive and he always sounds so excited
↳ "hey! is that a new sweatshirt? it looks awesome!" "I've never seen you wear this jewelry, it looks great! maybe I should go buy some and we can match." “the design on your keys is so cool! mine are just plain- ah! where did you get them done?”
━ the guy who sees you from afar and he always stops what he's doing to go talk to you and see what you're up too <33 the type of person who can easily slide into a casual conversation and before you know it, the two of you have spent the last three hours hanging out even if it wasn't intended
━ the gentleman who was raised with manners and will always leave you stunned because wow, the bars and standards are low these days. and whenever he sees you coming over to him he unknowingly starts readjusting himself and fixing his hair because he wants to look presentable just for you <3 because he adores you
━ the guy who is oblivious to how much his physical affection flusters you. the two of you could be walking in a crowded area and he'll immediately wrap an arm around you and pull you close so you don't get lost or to comfort you if he knows you get anxious in crowded places. and he's so close that you can smell him <33 and it's intoxicating. and he won't notice the way you smile extra hard when he hugs you every morning and after school as he says goodbye
━ his friends will always encourage him to ask you out, but he ends up deep in thought because even though he does have a crush on you, he's oblivious and can't tell the difference between platonic and romantic feelings. LIKE PLEASE NO liking him is so infuriating because even when you flirt with him he just cannot take the hint. but oh boy, once he finally realizes he gets so nervous around you. he's suddenly aware of how hard his heart is pounding and the way he stays up at night thinking of you, he's down bad
→ ARMIN ARLERT
━ he’s your best friend !! who has no idea how to tell you how nervous you make him. because, it hasn’t always been like this. when the two of you were younger he had no problem composing himself when you would lean closer to him and whisper a secret into his ear. he didn’t get intimidated by the way you would look at him in the eye, and wouldn’t feel his heart pound when he saw you in the halls
━ it was different now. the two of you had always shared things, and now he’d find his jaw dropping, eyes widening, and cheeks flushing whenever you reached for his drink and drank from the same straw as him. you’d question him with a raised eyebrow and wave a hand near his face, “armin? you okay dude?” and he’d hesitantly nod, which of course gave you the answer, no, he wasn’t okay
━ he's constantly texting eren and calling him at night whenever he can't get you off his mind <3 eren will get very annoyed but who is he to deny one of his closest friends the ability to dreamily sigh and talk about the person he's utterly infatuated with?
━ the type to recommend romance themed books to you as a form of hoping you'd finally take the hint and notice that he likes you as more than a friend. and yes, whenever he himself reads them he always makes scenarios with you and he gets so lost in them
→ EREN JEAGER
━ he's that one guy in your class who has a pretty tight friend group consisting of only a few people, so it kind of makes him intimidating. he's sweet and considerate, but also has a short temper so he gets into trouble often– both with his peers and the school faculty. not a day goes by where you don't hear a teacher say "eren stop bickering with jean or I'll send you out again!", to which eren replies with "yeah? well I'd rather get detention than be stuck in this room with that guy for another thirty minutes"
━ the guy who's clumsy and it makes everyone in the room laugh, well kind of. eren searches the room with flushed cheeks out of the embarrassment, but he always notices that you smile fondly at him whenever he trips in front of the class or drops his papers while doing a presentation. it's the smile that makes him feel calm and regain his composure
━ teachers call him out for not paying attention in class, and that's because he's too busy staring at the back of your head. too busy planning out ways to impress you, whether it be by him excelling at a sport or academically. or maybe winning at a fight against jean, just a backup plan !!
━ honestly, eren gets embarrassed but he doesn't really have any shame. hey, you may have seen him literally faceplant into the grass, or fall back in his chair but at least he got your attention right? at least he made you smile and look at him with those beautiful eyes of yours, right?
→ JEAN KIRSTEIN
━ he'd be the guy who hangs out with the wrong crowd to gain popularity – and therefore, have it easier when it came to social interactions. the guy who would get easily influenced to do mean things to others by his friends. but he has morals, and in his head there's always a voice telling him it isn't right. he walks home alone everyday with a guilty conscious
━ as expected, once he takes notice of you and starts developing feelings, it'll spark him with the goal to change and improve himself. he'll be standing in the hallway during passing period with the douchebag guys he calls friends, and whenever you pass by, his eyes will immediately follow you until you leave his sight of vision. he'll come back to reality and hear his friends planning mean pranks and he'll feel a pit in his stomach, he'll walk away and hear some shouts of, "is it too much for you to handle jean?"
━ the guy that's so insecure due to his shitty decisions that whenever you initiate a conversation with him, he's in bliss because wow you're talking to him! but he also ends it as soon as possible because he doesn't think he's good enough to be with you
━ but once he grows more used to you always being the one striking up conversations, waving at him in the halls with that lovely smile of yours, and making plans to hang out – he'll eventually start doing the same. and before he knows it, he's hanging out with you everyday instead of his previous group of "friends"
━ and yes, he's that one annoying guy who will take your phone and hold it up above just to see you struggle. the one that will throw playful insults at you just to see you roll your eyes and think of a comeback. the guy who will come to class late just to get your attention and have you wondering where he's at. and of course, the guy that tries to make his voice deeper when talking to you but he fails and his voice rises higher because he gets embarrassed
━ but of course, jean is also very sweet <33 he'll try extra hard to impress your parents when he comes over because he wants them to approve of him. he'll knock on the door holding a bouquet of flowers and with some fancy clothes. the guy who blushes so hard when you so much as hold eye contact with him and he has to look the other way and scratch his neck awkwardly. whenever you trip or are clumsy, he won't laugh but instead he'll be worried and scold you lightly because he's scared you'll get hurt. he takes all your advice because he wants to improve himself, all for you because he adores you.
#attack on titan headcanons#attack on titan x reader#aot fluff#jjk headcanons#jjk x reader#eren x reader#armin x reader#jean kirstein x reader#jean x reader#itadori yuji x reader#yuji x reader#the tags keep on coming HELP#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#eren jeager headcanons
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Hi! ex radfem cis lesbian back. I saw you asked why I reconsidered my viewpoints, so I will answer:
Firstly, I do want to keep the context in mind that this is simply my experience and very well may just be a me thing.
I gravitated to being a radfem at around middleschool, because I was sexually harrassed by a boy. It gave me the "all men are evil" complex. But I slowly realized I only used my hatred as an excuse not to face my trauma. There are great men in my life, my father and brother are some of my biggest supporters. My brother even tried to beat up the guy who harrassed me lol. The hatred I felt for every male I saw (excluding my family), the fear I felt, made me intensely paranoid and unhappy. I also found it was just wrong. Like anybody, men are not a monolith. Somebody born into a male body is not instantly evil. I've actually been harrassed more (sexually and in general) by females in my life, so I realized the generalization didn't hold up.
Of course, it is obvious that males are more likely to commit violent crimes, even if my personal experience was opposite. But I try these days to see the best in everyone, as not assuming somebody's moral value based on their sex has helped me live a more happy life. When I say I find GC spaces a bit extreme, there are a myriad of blogs who constantly say all men are evil, all men should die...I think that sort of talk is unproductive. Like it or not, males will always exist in humanity. So we should be finding a solution to the social issues and dismantaling patriarchy instead of invoking ire in innocent people (People are more likely to listen if you are nice to them...I have seen many men get mad at the "all men are trash" thing because that would include them, even if they haven't done any wrong. Whether or not it's fair we have have to watch our words doesn't matter -- this is just the proven best way to get others to take your points seriously).
As for the trans stuff, I just don't really care these days. Using different pronouns doesn't affect me as it is just words, so I don't care. Much like men, I view all trans people as individuals and don't develope an opinion on them as people based on identity alone. I find operating in the world this way is just easiest, and helps me not develop a bias. (Also as a GNC lesbian I have been mocked for being "a trans woman" by what would be considered "transphobes" I suppose, because I look like a guy, so I feel how some TERFs try way too hard to point out "obviously trans people" just hurt GNC people. But I know that's not the majority of TERFs.)
That is just trans people however. The trans "movement" (quotes bc it's not technically a movement but you get what I mean, the social atmosphere etc), which is not a person but a common ideal, has a lot of issues. My biggest issue being that it's hard to have actual conversations about it without walking on eggshells. My best friend is trans actually, and 100% accepts her sex. After all, you have to be the opposite sex to be "trans" at all. So even if I was harrasses by a trans woman, I would not think of all trans woman that way, much like how I do not demonize all females because I was harrassed by a handful.
That said - The social class of "men" (not the person or sex, but the way we have normalized socialization and the like) has many issues, and I am 100% for tackling these issues. I think we as a society must be open to talking about things even if we disagree with them or it makes us uncomfortable. Now more than ever we nees loud feminist voices. You may be just a tumblr blog, but one blog can go a long way. Even if I don't 100% agree with every post you make or radfem ideals or whatever, I am very thankful to have people who are not afraid to hold discussions and discourse. I do think the hatred for radfems is unwarranted to the degree it has reached. I wish we could all have civil discussions. So in short: keep posting and keep talking, thank you.
Heyyy! I am first of all really sorry that my answer comes so late, it's because I didn't really have the time and/or energy to read all of the asks I got, so I didn't open yours - I hope that this is not all too late of an answer :)
I guess that you are making various points here. First of all, I understand how the hatred of men can be unproductive in some ways. I agree that for many women, they don't gain anything out of fantasizing about the death of all men or reading stuff about how men suck and are evil. However, I also think that this is useful for some women. I have to say that even though I don't hate all men, this type of rhetoric awoken me out of my non-feminist slumber, and I think that this can be a helpful outlet for many women. I mean if there were any real-world harms proven from this rhetoric, I would obviously be against it, but as for now, I just think that this rhetoric can be useful for some and not so useful for others.
Like my blog. Is it productive to make fun of weirdos on the internet? Some people will probably say that this just makes them angry and depressed, but other people will find something cathartic in those posts and find their own experiences represented for the first time. And for those who find it not to be helpful to read that stuff, I would expect them not to read it
Secondly, I'm glad that the trans stuff doesn't affect you, but I have to say that it affects me (and many others). I'm politically active and have gotten so many creepy comments and abusive behaviour from entitled males who believe that they are women. Where I am politically active, analysis of male socialisation is totally absent and most politically active women are not really safe. I have also been told that I can be non-binary if I don't identify with the gender stereotypes, and I identified with that.
But I guess those weren't really your points, your point was just that those are the reasons for you not to be as active anymore. And that's fine! I obviously hope that you still believe in female empowerment and women's liberation, and you seem to. I'd almost go so far to say that some of your beliefs are still those of a radfem, but maybe you have other stuff to focus on, and that's totally cool ofc!
Also, thank you for saying that about my blog and say hello to your friend from me hahah
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