#And even the people who I've reached out to and asked for help haven't. Realized

[tvtoontime]

Hey I've seen that you've not been active recently, I like the comic so far, so I have a question why haven't you been active?

Sorry for not answering questions as of late! I have a few answered ones in my draft!

I DO APOLOGIZE IF THIS POST MAKES YOU FEEL UNEASY OR UNCOMFORTABLE. This post is mostly for anyone who’s curious about the lack of posts. I don’t need any comfort, compliments or reassurance, trust🫡.

(I’ve been meaning to talk about this topic in detail for a while but i know people get uncomfortable with this kind of negativity!)

“STRAIGHT FORWARD” ANSWER:

I’ve been a little less motivated to draw, thinking every drawing or comic isn’t worth looking at. Im not consistent with my art and want to change up everything if i’m not satisfied with it which makes it confusing for everyone else. Dandy’s design is a big example of that.. Lots of comparing comes into play too. I do NOT have a pretty art style what so ever. dgmw, It’s not meant to be pretty but i get embarrassed when I draw something that’s meant to be somewhat pleasing to the eyes but turns out cringy.(dandy & astro comic). There’s such pretty art out there and it feels like im destroying the beauty of the characters. I also feel like I disappoint others consistently since i have high expectations for myself. I want to improve faster and faster so i push myself. At this point i might’ve accidentally over done it. I took a break to see if that’d help things but when i came back there was a TON of negativity on tiktok.(where i started out) which also pushed me away further to draw since i liked seeing positive things about dandys world! I’m not giving up just yet, because i want to live my art and keep inspiring younger or even older artists to draw different angles and so much more!

(I will also point out, whenever I draw, it takes a lot of time. i am unfortunately a slow artist..sigh.💔)

MORE DETAILED ANSWER WITHIN:

TW: LOADS OF SELF NEGATIVITY & NEGLECT.

Let’s start from the top.

HAPPINESS?

Tiktok was where i started posting comics. (i never made a comic before, so that was my “first” time) All i really wanted to do was post relatable dw experiences for the fun of it.

I didn’t realize people would actually like a simplified, horribly colored, comic. Either way, I was having fun.

I got this really weird motivational high when others wanted more or the “next part”. i literally couldn’t fall asleep and wasn’t eating from all the thrill. I couldn’t tell if I was happy or really anxious from the attention.

I got a little afraid once i reached 10k or something like that. I didn’t have a story for the “AU” nor did i ever create one in my life. I couldn’t tell if people liked filler episodes or random episodes or if they really liked the lore/plot.(everyone was angry at qwel for not showing any lore so I got worried about that happening with me and wasting everyone’s time.)

GROWING GUILT.

At one point i took a break from the comic to create some silly little christmas special which,, i should have planned out beforehand. It felt like I made a promise to post every night for december like a christmas advent calendar(that was the plan basically).

Big mistake. I already had an insecurity/fear of disappointing others. I believed i could make these silly little shorts every night. I once again struggled to sleep and eat but this time from guilt that was growing. I finally called it quits on the 7th day(sad ik i only made it to 7 days lol) since a lot of people were concerned once i was late and i seriously didn’t want to concern anyone. I still had ideas but i couldn’t keep up with the days.

OVERWHELMING SUPPORT.

The support from the familiar faces was and still is overwhelming. Everyone was/is so nice and yet i still felt like i let everyone down? I felt like i needed to give more or try harder as thank you for supporting and being there and for treating me like a human being especially when other creators had people pushing them to make their comics. No one asked me to try harder but i felt/feel the need to push myself, or to make a better version each time.

I don’t know how to take compliments. A small thank you doesn’t feel like enough. I want to do MORE but I know I can’t.

TOOK A BREAK.

I didn’t want to take a break, but it was needed. I also needed to take advice from the familiar faces i saw because they were right. I thought I was ready to come back because, I had a story, had a plan to go at my own pace, say a simple thank you for the support, and move along. I also wanted to step out of my comfort zone and become one with the community. (Idk if this was such a good idea tbh LOL. I feel invasive like rodger or shelly.)

FANDOM NEGATIVITY.

I loved the community and how silly we all were back when it was growing. The way people portrayed the characters in their aus, created lore, ships and their names were creative, ocs, and so much more to create a somewhat healthy community. It was Dandy’s world’s prime time for me.

However,,, During March, All i saw was negativity.

No one was negative in my comments, however, whenever i went on tiktok, all it was, was(and still is) negativity. I’m not talking about slimetok or some shit hating on “us” and changing the “💔” emoji to a rotting flower, I’m talking about our OWN community hating on the new updates, hating on certain characters, on aus, on ships, hating on ANYTHING that helped create the community. Some of the community members are also something else. All of this negativity really killed my motivation(personal stuff too). Dgmw, people can have opinions, but holy shit? How much negativity are you gonna diarrhea out???????

We’ve got bigger problems in the world. I already know this! But we kind of need to be happy here and there or else we’ll all be depressed or some shit.(an escape basically.) Unfortunately I used DW to cope which is probably why i’m feeling sad about all of this negative change.

OVERTHINKING DISAPPOINTMENT.

Due to the popularity on tiktok, I felt as though i was disappointing those large amount of numbers. I do feel like i should only focus on the people who are “closer” to the account, but i’ve had another issue with that too. Anyone I feel closer to, I feel like they’re going to be more disappointed not only in the art but they’ll get bored with my personality too? I’m still trying my hardest not to care so much about disappointment but it’s been a little tricky.

Unfortunately I look at my art differently now, hating everything i post and judging myself too quickly. I spent over 150 hrs on the two long comics “Abc song” “Snowballs coming your way” or something like that, and despise them. I also disliked the gigi/flutter/looey comic even though that one had gained the most attention on tiktok.

THE POSITIVE…?

I’m still drawing/posting since people get inspired by the art/perspective and it still makes me feel worthy enough to continue the comic/drawing. I too want to like my art again, so i’m not giving up. also my little sister took my ipad for school projects so i can’t exactly draw much rn…🧍

[brunettemarionette]

𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚'𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫

↠ female reader. no description of features. no mentions of size.

a/n: pictures made by me, spoilers I guess if you haven't watched Deadpool? No warnings just fluff and dumbassery.

Some time after Deadpool & Wolverine, they get back together, and you're a total surprise for them despite the two wanting a baby before Vanessa died.

"So... are we having a Sonny or a Cher?"

Not being called either of those names and definitely not being called anything 'strippery'... or Wade Jr, Wada, Darth Wader and definitely not Todd, either.

No matter how much Wade worried about being like his dad, all that went out the window when you were actually born.

"I've only had a daughter for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I'd kill everyone in this room and then myself... come back to life fuck shit up and die again. Rinse and repeat."

Wade leaving you with Blind Al as a babysitter (sometimes she wouldn't even realize you're there).

"Wade, you can't just leave the baby with a blind person." *Surprise Pikachu Deadpool * "...ableist..."

I feel like Wade, at some point, either dropped you or you fell when you were a kid, but it's for the best since that's how he and Vanessa found out that you're a chip off the ole' block when you heal super fast.

Despite what Vanessa thought when they first agreed to make a baby, they did, in fact, make a 'super baby.'

Always following your 'Uncle' Logan around no matter how much he tries to get rid of you.

"'Babypool' go-... play or something, okay kid?"

Growing up surrounded by mutants means you never think you're different or a freak but instead becoming very protective of your mom. After a talk with your dad about your mom dying, you realize just how fragile people are.

Surprisingly, Wade makes a great girl dad. He does the tea party thing and, of his own accord, puts on the dress and clip earrings; he serves tea to the plush bears and scoffs when others mock him.

"Clearly, you people have no class."

As you got older, you started to look more like your mom, but no matter what situation you found yourself in, you could stop the snark, so much so that it earned you the nickname 'Mini mouth' – Wade was so proud.

Wade took you to the roof of the building to 'bond,' which Vanessa knew was him teaching you how to fight – something she was okay with until you both fell off the roof... more than once.

Them both knowing that despite wanting to give you a normal childhood and life you were going to be some kind or 'hero/antihero'. So they roll with the punches, and Wade makes sure you know exactly what you need to know about it.

"No, spermpool, red is my color. Just ask your mom when we-"

"Ew, Dad... and don't call me that."

On that note, investing in headphones was something you picked up the older you got, asking the store which ones cancel noise the best and then buying earbuds to go with them.

"Minipool, Girlpool, not-as-good-deadpool, Wishpool... ow... okay! We'll think of a better name for you!"

Despite you and your dad both being mercs who have been killed or hurt in every which way, your mom still rules the house. That's how you two find your katanas confiscated when you started playing 'Star Wars' during Thanksgiving.

Your dad makes a lot of Batman and Robin jokes when you're working together, only after he made a weird Batman and Catwoman joke until he realized why that was gross. So you became his Robin.

For someone so laid back about love and sex, Wade is very protective when it comes to you. Seeing the bad guys flirt with you, his deadpan snark reaches a few levels higher than his norm – it doesn't help when your mom hypes up your catsuit.

"I told you we should have gotten her a costume like what the lady three floors down wears."

“Red, that's a Muumuu.”

Being impulsive is like an inherited trait from both of them, which just makes up a chaotic household, and yet you all love every minute of it.

"One of the best things my dad ever gave me, not by choice, are these two gold-plated 50 caliber desert eagle pistoleros...."

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀

The Nights by Avicii

GDFR by Flo Rida

X gon' give it to ya by DMX

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀:

Chaotic parents x Inherited Chaos (you)

Matching Family Energy

Dumbasses (wade, you) x Oh, those are my dumbasses (vanessa)

[curseofaphrodite]

PRE-OWNED RECORDS

Sirius Black x muggle!reader || fluff

summary: the time Sirius sneaked away from Hogwarts to see you.

The thrift store looked as cozy as ever, which was the obvious effect of a place filled with things that people had previously loved. The crooked statues and trinkets near the door, the sound of a Little Richard record playing somewhere behind the back, the huge stack of battered old books — all of them made you excited like the very first time you stepped inside.

You looked at the boy you came with and saw a gleam in his eyes that you haven't ever seen before.

"Pretty, isn't it?" you asked, taking a brown butterfly hairclip from the basket near him. Sirius still hasn't finished taking in the shop's eccentrics.

"It's so cool," he said in awe.

You laughed. You could see why he'd be so surprised. Sirius Black had been homeschooled all his life, or that's what he says anyway. All you know is that your strange, rich, pretty neighbour never comes out of his house unless it's the holiday season. When you ask him about it, he says his mother is old-fashioned and traditional. You hadn't understood what he meant until you saw her once yourself. From her attire to her cold glare, that particular cameo still gave you shudders.

Even the times you do see him, he's covered in leaves and dirt, as if he climbed down the window without anyone seeing. Sometimes you wonder if you ought to get him legal help to get him emancipated. But he never looked physically harmed, but he never looked completely okay either.

Str̥angely enough, your holiday friend wasn't out on a holiday though. This visit was right in the middle of the school year. When asked about it, he said something about apparition or desperation that you just decided not to ask further. He looked particularly worn out that day, so you decided to take him to somewhere he'd never been before, which happened to be a very long list. The thrift store was close, so that's the story of how he ended up gawking at the records beside you.

"Who's your favorite?" you asked, actually curious. Apart from his unusual attire and confused looks when you mention anything from music, you haven't had the faintest clue as to who he even listened to.

"Stubby Boardman?"

You blinked. "Uhm, you mean Buddy Holly?"

"Yeah, sure." Sirius looked more interested in the records before him. He brushed past the unorganized stack with a faraway look in his eyes. He then turned to you questioningly. You jumped a little and looked away because you realized you might have been staring a little too much at him.

"Look at this!" You were thankfully saved by the orange and red album in front of you. You reached for it gleefully, making a happy sound. "I've been looking for this edition for such a long time! Oh, I can't believe they have it!"

"Are they any good?" he asked, matching your level of excitement.

"The best," you sighed, hugging it closer.

This particularly sweet moment was cut short when you heard a small commotion at the front of the store.

Sirius's face showed immediate panic. "I knew that cat looked familiar!" He said, rushing to the cashier's area.

"The cat?" you blinked in confusion, then followed him.

A woman stood in the spot, wearing the biggest black hat you'd ever seen. She had small spectacles and smart, shrewd eyes behind them. She looked exhaustingly mad, as if she'd been in plenty of situations like this before.

"I'm still learning the ropes of apparition?" Sirius tried, smiling meekly. "I've no clue how I've ended up here."

"Mr. Black, you've excelled in apparition and rest assured, even the most horrible student wouldn't end up hundreds of miles away from where they are. I'm sorry to interrupt your date but you're coming with me right this instant!"

"Who is this?" you asked. The woman turned her gaze on you, and the wheels seemed to turn in her head.

"Let's go," she said more sharply.

"I enrolled in a boarding school?" Sirius directed the answer at you, though it sounded more like a lame excuse. The woman did not look happy to be ignored. "I've to go now but I'll explain everything when I'm back okay?"

"No, you won't!" the woman said shrilly.

"I'm sorry but you all have to leave," the cashier said, looking like she's had enough. "We don't have squabbles inside the store."

Sirius looked a tiny bit sad. Being unofficially thrown out of the store was not how you thought how the day would go, but you sighed and walked out anyways.

Your phone rang. It was your father, asking you to pick up the groceries on your wy back. By the time you hung up, both Sirius and the lady was nowhere to be seen.

----------------------------------

"You're young and that's a fancy word for naive," Minerva said, walking or slightly running down the hall. Sirius struggled to keep up.

"She's going to understand."

She stopped in her tracks and Sirius almost crashed into her.

"That's not what I meant. How do you think your mother would take the fact that you're friends with a muggle? Let alone more than friends?"

Sirius blushed. "There's not more—"

"Oh, I'm not stupid. But that's not what this is about either. You're bringing her to her doom if you keep visiting her under Walburga's nose."

"She's all I have at that place!"

"That's not true. There's a person in your own house who needs you, but you seem to forget that."

"Regulus is like the rest of them. He's not who he was," Sirius said promptly. His words were harder than before. "If you doubt it, look for the mark in his arm."

Without waiting for her reply, he stormed away. To hell with the detentions, he thought. I have to do one more thing back in my town.

----------------------

The next morning, the first thing you thought of while waking up was the boy with dark long curls and brown pretty eyes. You wondered if you dreamt him up.

There was a part of you that wanted to be mad that he left without a goodbye, but you actually didn't mind. Something said he'd be back soon enough.

"Hey kiddo," your dad knocked on your door and walked in, holding something familiar in his hands. "Someone left this at the door. Must be for you."

You gasped, grabbing the red and orange record from his hands.

"How—?"

"There was no note." He shook his head. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you have a secret admirer. Now come down to the kitchen, we made pancakes."

"I'll be right there," you mumbled, examining the album once again. Once he left the room, you immediately went to the player.

While you took out the record, you noted something eerily familiar to dog hair sticking on the sides.

THE END

------------------------------------

masterlist | KOFI | commissions

[iaminfourthwing]

The Generals Daughter

A/N: Finally a new chapter! Tell me, what you think about it 🐉👀

Chapter XVII

The rest of Threshing is just a blur of celebrations and getting our dragon relics. Mine is spread over my right side to the middle of my back. It’s really fucking huge. And absolutely gorgeous.

After dinner everyone is celebrating. Well, not everyone. The unbonded cadets are nowhere to be seen, probably planning on how to kill us freshly bonded to get a dragon after all. My bet is, Violet will be one of the prominent targets, as everyone seeing her still as the weakest link. Even though she has bonded two dragons AND is tethered to Xaden fucking Riorson. 

I got myself a drink and now I am on my way to find a place where no one is bothering me. Today drained the fuck outta me and my muscles ache. Killing people is not easy, but killing people who deserve it, is.

In a deserted corridor towards the dormitories I find a place on a stone ledge with a view over Basgiath.

If someone had told me before my first year here that I would bond a dragon, I wouldn't have been so sure. And now I have Innea.

‚One can almost hear your enthusiasm' she replies sarcastically.

'I'm more than happy that you chose me. I'm just glad that Barlow’s words didn't turn out to be true.' They still haunt me.

'What do you mean? Barlowe... is that the rider of Baide?' She asks. Baide? Why does that name sounds familiar?

'Uh, I don't know. Baide? I think Violet mentioned something about an orange dragon. To answer your first question, he said some time ago that my father or Codagh would make sure that I didn't return from Threshing without a dragon. And those words, well, stuck. I trust my abilities, but I don't trust my father. And certainly not the black beast.'

'Don't worry about that. I saw you at presentation and knew immediately that you would be my rider. I know that you felt me ​​in your mind. Neither Codagh nor his rider had anything to do with it, I chose you because I wanted to, not because I had to. Together we will achieve great things.' She finishes.

I smile. God, I won today with her bonding me. A wave of affection reaches my mind, calming me even more. I already love and appreciate her.

During the conversation with Innea I didn’t realize, that someone took the seat in front of me. 

I am even more startled when my eyes meet those gorgeous one of none other than Bodhi Durran. The shock must be written all over my face because he immediately starts to grin.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, but you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't react to my words." I think... this is the first time I've ever heard his voice. And God, it's so deep and smooth, and so much softer than his cousin's.

I shake my head to clear my mind. Difficult, with this dream of a man in front of me. Am I really crushing on a marked one? Father would have a heart attack.

'I'm more likely to gag' echoes in my head.

"I'm sorry, I was a bit... distracted" I say, a little shyly, absolutely in awe of this man in front of me.

„I see. Your dragon?“ I nod.

"Sgaeyl wasn't really happy that your dragon bonded. And Xaden doesn't know what to think about it either." he admits. Oh? I mean, I already knew that Xaden doesn't trust me at all.

"I guess my last name isn't particularly trustworthy either. And my lineage." I grin.

I can completely understand why they're so unsure of me. But it's not like I'm going to run to my father and spill the beans, like he actually wants me to. That's not going to happen.

"It's... difficult. I admit that. But so far you haven't given anyone of our wing a reason to dislike you. Quite the opposite. What I've observed says anything but that. You help your squad and even beyond that, you help your wing. With history, battle brief, sparring, everything. And we've all seen what the general is capable of, even towards his own flesh and blood." He grimaces. It almost seems as if he is … pitying me. Well, I don't need that.

"I don't need pity. The way my father treats me is nothing new. It's just that he's never shown it in public before. That was actually something new, something I absolutely didn't expect."

I let my gaze wander over Basgiath. From here you have a clear view of the Parapet. Meanwhile, I feel his deep gaze on me, which makes me nervous. Damn, why does he have such a strong effect on me?

„I- uhm, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you! I just-" he sighs deep, not knowing how to explain himself.

„We all were really shocked, when we realized the relationship between you and your father. We all had our opinions on you without even knowing you, I admit that. But after that evening, with, you know, the injury on your neck, and now the scene on the flightfield... I apologize on behalf of all of us marked ones. We find it difficult to see this whole thing objectively. All of us are just trying to survive, which is hard as it is, but coming here without prejudice was practically impossible. We know what our parents and siblings fought and died for, so it’s not really easy. Some of us are still blinded by the anger and pain left behind by the loss of our loved ones. We try, especially for our squad and wing, but many of us struggle really hard with the emotions. Especially because people like Imogen, for example, are only guided by the pain. She tries, but with an Aetos, a Sorrengail and... well, a Melgren in the squad, it is three times as difficult." He takes a deep breath, clearly effected by his own words.

I am oddly touched by his little speech. I understand how hard it must be for them, I definitely don’t blame them. Their pain and anger is something I can relate to, even though on a different base. We all lost something in the past. 

"Thank you for your words. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you here in Basgiath. You can feel the hatred of some of the other cadets and riders, but believe me... I'm one of the last people to judge someone for their past. And if we're being completely honest..." I look around to make sure we're alone. "I don't trust the history the way it's told. I have my doubts about various things. And I certainly don't trust my father, nor some other people. But other than that I can assure you that as long as no one gives me reasons, I will treat you with the same respect that I expect from y’all. We can all learn from and help each other, because at the end of the day we're all just trying to survive. I'm glad I ended up in Fourth Wing, because I much prefer Xaden as wing leader than someone like Amber Mavis." We both have to laugh.

The whole thing must give an awkward picture. A marked one and the daughter of the most feared general on the continent sitting together and laughing. We should hate each other, from the bottom of our hearts. But that's not how I see him at all. He seems to be someone who thinks a lot, rather than feeling direct dislike. And I'm grateful for that. He could have used my mental absence earlier, when I was talking to Innea, to kill me. Or knock me out. But he didn't. That's a start, isn't it?

"Yes, that's true, I also prefer Xaden much more, and that has nothing to do with the fact that we are family. I'm glad that I'm in the same wing as my closest friends, it makes things a lot easier. And who knows what friendships could develop," he says, looking deep into my eyes. Oh God, don't embarrass yourself now...

'He's not that wrong. I'm curious to see if you two will stay friends. Your thoughts say otherwise, you're really smitten with Cuirs rider.' I start to blush while looking shyly at him, trying to ignore Inneas words.

'What else could come of it other than friendship? He would never find a Melgren interesting.' I deny her words, for my own sanity.

'I'm not so sure about that,' she replies, chuckling deep.

I pull a face, confusion taking me over and Bodhi also seems to be communicating with his dragon.

'What are you talking about? I'm lost.' What the hell is she suggesting? Why shouldn't we just be friends? 

Bodhi’s head whips in my direction, shock and something else in his eyes as they find mine.

'Cuir and I are mates.'

WHAT?!

Taglist: @puttyly @lxnvmvrzx @freyagallileaevans @aroacemushroom @dragonsandrinks @mariahoedt @read-write-sleep-startover

[rhenysz]

Your Dead Eyes - Chapter 1

Summary: Lifeless eyes were what haunted your all your life, many people say that death was lurking around your eyes, maybe it's true. Maybe you just see things that other people don't.

Pairing: Azriel x Archeron! reader fem.

A/n: This took longer than expected and isn't even half as long as I would have liked, but I've finally finished the first book and let's get to the real story! Thank you for the positive feedback 🙌🏻 This chapter was more about the sisters' bond, the next ones will be different. I think the Reader has an emotional dependence on Feyre 😥

*English is NOT my native language, this fanfic was translated with the help of an AI, any grammatical errors please let me know*

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Scars, family abandonment, mentioned death.

previous x next

"Do you not think you're exaggerating?" Elain asked you with forced gentleness. The sound of her sipping tea tickled your ears. Dropping your own teacup on the living room's coffee table – causing some splashes to stain the surface – you placed a hand on your chest in mock indignation, perhaps not entirely fake.

"I'd rather be thrown to the wolves than face the conjugal bed, and I must say I'm terrified of those animals." Your lips curled downward, "Men, in this case."

Elain's eyes crinkled at the corners, and the curve of her lips lifted even as she tried to dispel the amusement she felt.

"I understand. But maybe you should consider, I bet Feyre would return in time for your wedding." She spoke with her eyes lowered to the tea.

No, she wouldn't return. You wanted to shout out to Elain. Hardly would that beast willingly let your sister go, that is if she wasn't already in the belly of those faeries.

"I have no interest in getting married, sister. And who in their right mind would be interested in someone with my condition?" Your voice was soft, not a hint of resentment showing in your features.

Having a man in your life was not something you desired. They were rough, lazy, and smelled bad. Not even the twisted relationship Feyre had with that man could make you want one too.

"Maybe... you just haven't looked in the right place," Elain commented. Looked? Have holy patience. You were hardly going to look at anything, let alone a man. Realizing her bluntness, Elain widened her eyes towards you, "I didn't mean it that way, sister, it was just a figure of speech—"

Your laughter cut off Elain's awkward attempt to apologize. Your shoulders shook with the intensity of your laughter. Elain sighed in relief and awkwardly joined in.

Feyre didn't treat you as if you were about to burst into tears.

After that interesting conversation with Elain, Nesta barged into the room, interrupting – rather rudely – to announce that a luxurious carriage was approaching.

You could hear the rustle of Elain's skirts as she tried to beautify herself even more. Despite Nesta feigning an indifferent facade, she was also discreetly arranging her hair.

Laughing to yourself, you wondered how you must look in your supposed light blue dress. A hand grabbed your arm and gently lifted you from the sofa. Nesta, you could tell the difference. Elain had rougher hands from gardening, and Nesta's hands were colder.

"Let's go. Can you manage on your own?" Nesta asked. You appreciated that she allowed you to have your own autonomy. Nodding, you reached for the edge of the sofa where your cane rested and grabbed it.

When you heard the door opening, your head turned towards the sound and you went, dragging the golden tip of the cane across the floor, which hit the furniture warning you to dodge, and slowly going after your sisters – who were walking significantly slower to wait for you.

His cane hit the front door step. Carefully, you placed your foot in front to descend. The breeze made your hair flutter, and it felt so good; the wind kissed your skin like a longing lover.

"Welcome to our home... Lady." You heard Nesta as you finally caught up with your sisters. A brief moment of silence followed, soon to be cut by an extremely familiar laughter

.Your heart raced, and your free hand crumpled the dress you were wearing. Your lifeless eyes turned, trying to find the source of the voice.

"Nesta," she laughed, "doesn't recognize her own sister?" The air was expelled from your lungs, Feyre. A burning sensation started in your eyes, and without you realizing, fat tears streamed down your flushed cheeks. No matter how or where, you would always, always recognize your sister's voice.

The crunching of dried leaves alerted you that someone was approaching, a calm breath was blown on your face. Your trembling lips also parted as you tried to find the right words. Nothing came to mind; it was as if your brain had turned to jelly.

"My snowflake..." Feyre stepped forward, using her fingers to wipe away your tears. She missed you so much while she was with Tamlin. Her chest weighed every time she thought of you, her dearest sister.

Closing your eyes tightly, you let out a sob and threw yourself into Feyre's arms. Discarding the cane without care, your hands reached the back of your sister, pulling her into a tight and emotional embrace.

Feyre staggered under your weight and laughed. She laughed as she nestled in your arms and continued to laugh even as she felt Nesta's eyes drilling holes into her head.

You couldn't physically move away from Feyre while your sisters talked with her. Your hand clung to hers in the hope that if you held on tight enough, she wouldn't leave again.

But not even all the happiness you were feeling could make you ignore Feyre's excuse. Taking care of Aunt Ripleigh? You distinctly remembered that it wasn't Aunt Ripleigh who tore the door off the old cabin.

As expected, Nesta was cautious, hovering over you and Elain as if Feyre would reveal her true intentions at any moment. She declined Elain's invitation to go to the garden, seeing Feyre there made her physically sick, so she withdrew to avoid conflicts in front of her sisters.

You were focused on Feyre and Elain's conversation, desperately wanting her to talk about what happened.

Feyre tensed when Elain casually mentioned – distracted by the flowers – that Nesta visited her at Aunt Ripleigh's. Another lie.

You felt Feyre's breath near your face: "How have you been?"

Fine. You were fine, but not well enough to disguise the suspicion in your expression. Feyre quickly noticed and stepped back slightly.

"Why are you lying to us?" You were direct, no more beating around the bush. You needed answers, and not even Elain's presence would distract you from your goal.

Feyre widened her eyes toward Elain and was relieved to see that she was far enough away not to hear. Biting her lips, she grabbed your wrist and pulled you toward the exit, giving a brief goodbye to Elain, who was so fascinated by the new petunia seedlings that she didn't care.

You were guided through a few doors until you reached a room that Feyre considered safe from curious ears.

You crossed your arms over your chest and impatiently waited for Feyre, who ran her hand through her hair and sighed, not knowing where to start. Then she decided to start with the worst.

"I– I'm in love with the High Lord of Prythian."

If you weren't already blind, you could swear your vision blurred at that moment.

And then Feyre told you, told about how the other side of the wall was breathtaking, told about the peculiar creatures that existed there, told about her frenemy Lucien, and told about how she fell in love with the beast that turned out to be so loving to her.

And to your dismay, she detailed the night of passion she had before being – gently – sent home.

"I didn't need to know that. I have a vivid imagination, and I hate myself for it." You spoke with disgust; Feyre chuckled and approached you, taking your hand and bringing it to her face.

"I haven't told you everything," you murmured for her to continue. Your fingers traced the contours of her face. She looked so different but at the same time so familiar. Perhaps she had become healthy.

"There was a male who threatened Tamlin, he was handsome, maybe the most beautiful male I've ever seen," she commented absentmindedly, "he asked for my name... Clare Beddor."

Clare Beddor, the name weighed on your tongue. Clare, your former neighbor who was killed in such a horrendous way that no one could bear to look for too long, according to your gossip source – Elain.

Feyre had given a false name to the fairy assassin. And you could swear she didn't know what had happened to that poor girl. And perhaps you weren't the most suitable person to tell her about the event; Feyre seemed happy sharing her new experiences. And you? You would allow yourself to be selfish for a moment.

"I understand."

Your sisters and your father went to the seasonal ball, and despite Elain's insistence, that wasn't your place. Your place was anywhere as long as it was far from high society. You certainly didn't fit the standards imposed by them, even though those who looked at you were dazzled.

"A beauty never seen before."

"I would die for features as delicate as yours."

"It's truly a shame…"

Feyre promised to come back early, just like you; she didn't like crowds and pompous people. Feyre promised to come back early.

So you did the only thing that was possible – you waited. Waited while eating, waited while talking to some servants, waited while invading Elain's garden, and waited until you got tired and chose the living room sofa as a great place to rest.

Inevitably, your eyes began to weigh, and before you realized it, sleep completely took you, plunging you into a deep state of peace, unable to hear the hurried steps through the house and the slam of the door closing.

Feyre promised to come back early.

Feyre hated goodbyes.

Perhaps, just perhaps, you should have already imagined that this would happen. Feyre was in love with the beast, and people in love tend to do foolish things.

That didn't ease the chest pain you felt when the next morning you were informed that she had returned to the fae lands in search of her High Lord. The feelings of betrayal and sadness walked hand in hand.

At the same time, you couldn't find the strength to harbor resentment towards her. Why would you? For the first time in her life, your sister was dedicating herself to something that truly made her happy. It didn't matter if she was leaving her family behind, right? No, that mattered to you.

Nesta hated dealing with your whirlwind of emotions; she hated that you depended on someone to be happy, and she made it clear when you woke up.

"Feyre is not responsible for what you feel. You are allowing yourself to stay in this state. Stop depending on her to live."

Despite being harsh, Nesta was spot-on with her words. Feyre was finally living her dream life; it was time for you to start living yours too, without anyone dictating how you should feel.

And thinking about this led you to where you were now, with your hands covered in clay – and probably not just your hands – trying to give some shape to that earthy mass on the spinning table in the studio.

Your mind wandered through all the possibilities of sculpture. Sculpting things your fingers had memorized or even inventing new forms to call conceptual. It would be ironic if your sculptures became famous.

Humming to yourself, your fingers gently moved over the clay's edges, shaping a small sphere; you pulled five points out and rounded the edges.

"They look like fingers." Merina's voice made you jump on the stool; Merina was one of the maids you had become close to, she had such a calm and gentle voice that, if you let her, could lull you to sleep.

"Well, I hope so. I'd be very upset if they looked like something else." You laughed, still molding your supposed fingers. Merina dragged a stool to join you, after, of course, looking down the hall to make sure no one was approaching.

She looked amazed at your hands giving life to the clay. Inevitably, her mind wandered, how? How were you capable? Feeling where your mind wandered, you chuckled softly and tilted your head in a silent invitation. Merina cleared her throat and asked:

"Why a hand?"

You subtly widened your eyes; that certainly wasn't the question you were expecting. A hum came from your throat before you answered Merina.

"It's with my hands that I see; they are my eyes to the world," you replied, licking your lips as you pondered, "I don't know how I manage it; I fear there's no logical explanation for it."

Merina didn't say anything, just grunted in response. Extending your hand, you searched the table until you found a small knife; bringing it close to the sculpture, you began making small fillets with it all along the hand's length.

Merina turned to you curiously, not understanding why you were deforming the piece. She gently nudged you with a – painfully pointed – question.

"Hmm, I've been thinking about it lately, hands with scars," you made one final cut and dropped the knife. Merina reached for an old cloth to help you clean your hands, "thank you. What would it be like to see with these hands? Would the texture of things be different? Or would the sensitivity be greater?" You rambled to her.

There were so many questions to consider, and in your opinion, you could already be considered a hands expert. That made you laugh.

Merina took the cloth from your hands and brought it toward your face, cleaning some clay splatters that had strayed there.

"I hope you don't have the answers on your own. It must be a horrible pain to have your hands torn apart." She commented, lowering the cloth.

A horrible pain? Makes sense. Whoever has hands like that must have a melancholic story behind them.

"You're right."

As promised, you lived your life the best way possible, and sculptures paved the way to your heart. Over time, your clay skills became refined, even daring to sculpt the features of your sisters; Nesta was your biggest supporter, even if she didn't admit it, there wasn't a day she didn't pass by to make sure your stock was full.

Each sister had their own shelf containing everything you thought resembled them. Elain had sculpted flowers and cakes, Nesta had books and red jewels, and Feyre had an arrow – just a sculpture, but it was the one you dedicated the most time to, whether smoothing the edges or trying to paint in the right places.

Because even though Feyre was a million miles away, you would love her all the way, and even if she never came back, you would find your way to her through the heart.

You wouldn't wait for her, but you wouldn't forget everything you had been through together.

And you might not even believe she would come back, but that tingling you felt in your fingers when you heard a knock on the door made you doubt your mental state.

It may be that besides being blind, you're also becoming deaf because hearing your sister's name from Elain's lips after so long is not a sign of good auditory nostalgia.

"Feyre?"

TAGLIST:

@dearestdaffodils @going-through-shit

@valeridarkness @wallacewillow0773638

@harrystylesfan2686 @carnationworld

@applerubyy @saltedcoffeescotch

@esposadomd @justdreamstars

@microwaveallthedemons

[lonniemachin]

TIME SENSITIVE: HELP MARAM, AHMED, AND THEIR CHILDREN EVACUATE GAZA

I truly don't know what to do to help my friends' campaign gain momentum again -- I've tried multiple methods from posting to sharing to tagging others to putting up fliers, passing out fliers, commissions, and raffling, and friends of mine have gotten popular accounts on Twitter and even YouTubers to feature it -- yet their contributions crawl and they STILL haven't reached their goal after 5 months of constant, daily appeals. Ahmed, Maram, and their three babies need to be able to get to safety as fast as possible, and the only way to make this possible is to achieve their GFM goal. They were recently displaced again to an area of active bombardment and invasion as they wish to avoid the spread of diseases in densely populated areas. On top of that, Maram has struggled with liver disease and malnutrition which has taken the ability to feed her infant son Muhammad.

Please, please give what you can to help them reach it ASAP. Enter my jewelry raffle or donate directly using the link below, anything helps. I was initially aiming for €30k by this Sunday, 08/15/2024, but in truth the full goal needs to be realized as soon as it can. Their campaign is 100% legitimate -- I know the beneficiary who sends the money and she keeps me and the family updated on the movement of all funds, and I have multiple methods of verifying their identity I have been asked to share if it will secure someone's donation. This is time sensitive because given the constantly changing nature of the situation the border could facilitate evacuation at any moment, and they need to be ready to register and leave ASAP.

GOFUNDME LINK

€27,490/€40,000.

That's €12,510 to go!

Tagging for reach under the cut. If I could get at least one or two more people to help make posts for them, It would mean the world to me.

@brutaliakhoa @dykesbat @batmanego @laurajameskinney @pollackpatrol

@ot3 @yugiohz @rhubarbspring @watermotif @terroristiraqis

@buttercuparry @deathlonging @briarhips @feluka

@wellwaterhysteria @irhabiya @neechees @mangocheesecakes @kyra45

@northgazaupdates2 @commissions4aid-international

@magnus-rhymes-with-swagness @appsa

[nonranghaes]

heads up: feelings of abandonment + reader crying. food mentions. fic can be interpreted as purely platonic, if desired!

when did your apartment start to feel so cold? you weren't sure. but you pull out a hoodie from your dryer and pull it on, just to try and chase away the chill that won't leave you. today's been a shit day, and all you want to do is curl up in bed and sleep until it's over. but it's far too early for that, so you opt to try to take care of yourself instead.

which really just turns into you pulling a blanket over you on the couch and watching whatever seems interesting enough to hold your attention for a while. it takes barely five minutes into the first movie before you start to sniffle again, and you stop fighting it. hot tears run down your cheeks, and you just pull the blanket tighter around you.

is it so much to ask that someone chase you for once? to have someone check on you and make sure you're actually okay? instead, you get radio silence when you pull away from people. it makes you feel sick to your stomach. there's a swirling storm inside you of the knowledge that people can't help you if you don't say something, and the wish that people would realize you not saying anything was a cry in its own right. they've known you this long, haven't they? they know you hate reaching out, that you despise having to say 'hi, i'm struggling' and instead it feels like they've just stopped bothering with you. why bother with someone who won't pull themself out of their struggles enough to say something?

it feels like you're drowning in these feelings. every hiccup and attempt to catch your breath just sends you spiraling further, the weight of the world crushing you more and more. is it so wrong to want someone to reach out and say "i know things aren't okay. can we talk?" or even a "i'm here for you, i'm sorry life is hard now, just say the word and i'll be there, okay?" in some shape or form. it doesn't even have to be so elaborate. it just needs to be something--

someone knocks on your door. you swear under your breath, wiping at your face and hoping that whoever is on the other side won't question it too much. your neighbor's cat probably got out again. you stop on your way to the door, looking in a mirror to see what damage has been done by this sobbing fit. and when you feel a little more composed, you open the door.

"hey." seungcheol has one hand tucked into the front pocket of his hoodie, the other holding a bag of takeout. "have you eaten yet?" he's dressed down, sweatpants and beanie and all. "i was in the neighborhood, and..."

he's lying. you know he is. you can see the label on the bag and this place is nowhere near where you live. but it's your favorite.

his gaze softens when he fully takes in the sight of you. "are you okay--"

he barely finishes the word before you dive forward, wrapping your arms around him as you bury your face in his hoodie. it makes you feel desperate in the worst way, but you're crying already and hiding your face from him makes you feel even a little better. but the feeling of seungcheol's arms wrapping around you feels even better, and he holds you protectively.

"i've got you," he says, and it feels like a promise.

maybe life isn't so bad after all.

[undreaming-fanfiction]

When the Corroded Coffin makes it, Eddie leans into the success completely. He can't really help it, he never thought he'd make it anywhere, wouldn't even have a moderately comfortable life and now he's here, people love him, want him, think he's worth their time. It's intoxicating and he feels like if he slows down for just a second, he'll lose it all.

Steve is supportive, of course he is. It's everything Eddie's ever wanted, success in the world and the most amazing person at home, loving him unconditionally. But Eddie grows more and more frantic about his work, tours, everything. He loves Steve so much, he talks about him in awards ceremonies, in interviews and credits him as his forever muse that he maybe forgets a little that random people who he'll never meet hear more about his love for his boyfriend than Steve himself.

Maybe if he took a moment to think, Eddie would have remembered that Steve was left alone for most of his teenage years, that the love he had was real but distant. That this love always stopped him from asking for more, asking for time spent together, for actions, not words. But he didn't.

After many dinners wrapped in cellophane and tossed in the fridge, postponed dates, hurried goodbye kisses and whispered promises over the phone that never come true, it happens. Steve doesn't blame him, doesn't scream or snap, but Eddie would have preferred if he did. He just calmly tells him that he loves him, will always love Eddie and he can't imagine there being anyone else, but he finally realized that while he's happy for Eddie, he can't live through someone else's dream. He needs, wants more than another empty house and waiting, so much waiting. He kisses Eddie goodbye and whispers, "I'm so happy you managed to break your cycle, Eddie. The crime, poverty...I'm so proud of you. But now I need to break my own."

---

As Steve fully settles in his own apartment almost a year later, heart aching but finally not paralyzed, he turns on the radio and hears a familiar voice, like the sweetest pain. He sings a new song, one that Steve doesn't know.

I painted your room at midnight

So I'd know yesterday was over

I put all your books on the top shelf

Even the one with the four leaf clover

Man, I'm getting older

I took all your pictures off the wall

And wrapped them in a newspaper blanket

I haven't slept in what seems like a century

And now I can barely breathe

Just like a crow chasing the butterfly

Dandelions lost in the summer sky

When you and I were getting high as outer space

I never thought you'd slip away

I guess I was just a little too late

Your words still serenade me

Your lullabies won't let me sleep

I've never heard such a haunting melody

Oh, it's killing me

You know I can barely breathe

Just like a crow chasing the butterfly

Dandelions lost in the summer sky

When you and I were getting high as outer space

I never thought you'd slip away

I guess I was just a little too late

The last soft tones finish and Steve takes a deep breath, shaky and uncertain. He loves his new life, loves what he's doing, studying to save lives, and yet...

It's almost funny. They broke up a year ago, yet Eddie never left him behind. There was no pressure to get back together, no unwanted declarations of love, just...showing. Steve told Eddie that he needed actions, not words, and here he was, for a year, giving Steve the space he needed but always checking in, always making sure Steve was okay.

Eddie's words were his actions and Steve finally understands how to break his own cycle. Being alone doesn't mean he's lonely. Not when Eddie's thoughts never leave him.

Not when he remembers the four leaf clover he scribbled into his textbook.

When he says he always thinks of Steve when seeing dandelions, so bright and comforting, like home.

The nights they spent together, drunk on each other's presence.

And the melody Steve always hummed when he got out of shower.

He reaches for his phone, their careful messages blinking at him, making him wonder how this love can feel so distant yet so real.

I hope your classes are going well, Stevie.

Wayne says hi. He says he'll call you next Tuesday.

I hope you found what you were looking for.

I hope you're happy.

I'm thinking about you, always.

He types something cheesy and ridiculous, but he can't help himself. He just feels loved, seen.

What if I told you that you aren't too late, crow?

His phone dings back almost immediately and he smiles.

[ghostgirl-22]

I haven't been active in the tumblr fanfic scene since I was writing hard kink kpop x reader at 18, but by golly. Challengers Fandom...hats off from an old, tired queer (22)

Anyway, I've been an onlooker for some time and I love your account; it gives me a lot to think about on the commute to work. Love your characterization of all of our beloved trio and then some.

But now I propose a more lived in kinky bunch. I've worked a few BDSM raves in my time, and I saw this trio of guys once with the pup in his mask.

He was so sweet and nuzzly. (Loved giving messy head and being called a dumb boy) Just reminded me so much of Art. He was a large man in general, but he made himself so small for play.

Wait… i just woke up and wrote this long ass story and then realized after all that…that sadly…I don’t think I can really write bdsm. Oh well… sorry anon this is as good as it gets. Here’s Tashi kinda being in charge of everything and Art as a bratty messy sub with Patrick switching in the middle. I got bored rereading (glowing recommendation I know) so if you see typos/issues lemme know and I’ll fix them 😭

CW: 18+ NSFW EXPLICIT, sex club, public sex, exhibitionism, group sex, blindfolds, safe sex

____

They don’t have to go out but since Lily is at grandma and grandpa Donaldson’s all week and sometimes they like to play with other people. Or let Art play with other people. They decide to go to the club. It was Tashi’s idea. They’re so grown up now, they go to sex clubs. They have a safe word and everything. Cinnamon. Patrick’s amused by how quickly it all happened. It still doesn’t actually feel real. Just a year ago he was in an on again off again relationship with less than 100 dollars in his account on his best days. And he was bumming it on his sisters sofa when he wasn’t on the road. And look at him now. He has a boyfriend, a girlfriend and a safe word.

He looks around, it’s loud and hot and sweaty despite the below zero temperatures outside. The coldest day of the year. The first floor is all dancing, drinks, and house music. No sex. It’s so upscale you wouldn’t know what went on downstairs if you were an outsider. It’s pricey, extremely private and so exclusive there’s a waitlist to get in. A medical check, a background check, even. Patrick almost didn’t get in because of his credit score. But being the Donaldson’s pet which is what the manager called him, made all the difference. Even after all of that, they have to check everything, even their phones. It’s a shame, because sometimes Patrick does want to film it… not to sell to the highest bidder but just to watch when he’s home alone and horny.

Tashi wraps her arms around his waist. She feels so warm, the fabric of her dress so slippery, Patrick can’t help but let his hands slide down her back to rest on her ass. “Are you looking at other girls?” She asks in his ear.

”Are you kidding?” Patrick smirks. “I’m just looking at your husband.” She follows his gaze to Art. Art, who said ten minutes ago that if they were gonna do this again he needed a drink. He’s standing by the bar, in this mesh shirt Tashi no doubt bought for him and fitted pants. Already there’s a tall guy leaning in next to him, reaching up to touch mess up his hair. Another guy walks up behind him touching his waist.

“God. He’s so...” Tashi sighs.

It was Tashi’s idea, all of it. “He just never got his time to be out before. To be boy crazy. He’s a late bloomer. I mean…You’re his first time… ” Tashi had explained. “Imagine how you would act.”

She said it after Art finally let Patrick do more than just kiss him. They finally fucked and it was this long drawn out messy process on a rainy afternoon. Art figuring out what he liked, topping and being topped, giving and getting head all of it so fucking hot. And then a week later Art went and slept with his old hitting partner. Apparently the guy had been so flirtatious when he worked for them that Art was having dreams about him so in the most Art Donaldson way he hid behind Tashi and begged her to make up an excuse to fire him.

He was so sorry when Patrick caught him. “It was an accident. It won’t happen again.” He promised. And then he did it again just two days later. Boy crazy.

“I’m gonna pick tonight. Do you care?” Tashi asks.

”No, go ahead,” Patrick says. “Better hurry though.”

She’s half distracted by some pretty girl with long braids giving her heart eyes.

“Maybe you’re a late bloomer too?” Patrick teases, curling a lose strand of hair behind her ear.

“Shush,” Tashi says, shoving him playfully. “Bring him downstairs. Room 8. I’ll meet you guys there.”

“Wait a minute,” He grabs her arm firmly before she can disappear and pulls her close so he can kiss her mouth. It’s the only public place he can do this and he’s taking full advantage.

He watches her walk away and then looks back at the bar. Art’s holding a drink now, both of the guys monopolizing his attention. Gentle touches, talking to him up close. Patrick starts making his way through the crowd. It’s not like Art will just do whatever he wants but sometimes he gets a little too high off of the attention. Like he finally understands how easy it is to get male attention and how much he loves it. Even though he tries to pretend he doesn’t care. He got so horny for it last time they caught him on his knees in the back room, giving head without permission. They had to punish him after. Well, Tashi punished him actually. Patrick’s not good at it. Art will play like Patrick has control but with that face and that body he can walk all over Patrick easily when he feels like it.

Patrick is stopped on his way by a pretty blond. She seems a little past the point of tipsy.

“Hey aren’t you that Rangers player?” She asks, she’s giggly. Touchy.

“Yeah,” He says, steadying her. He doesn’t play hockey but he thinks he knows what she means.

“I think you’re so hot,” she says, and she giggles again as he smirks and brushes past her.

“I can’t tonight sweetheart.” He says gently and she pouts. She’s exactly the kind of girl who wouldn’t have given him the time of day just a few months ago. Now that he’s not looking it’s hilarious how much he has to turn down.

Speaking of slutty blonds, he approaches Art in the nick of time. He’s started making out with one boy, while the other is holding his drink.

“This his?” Patrick asks the guy with the drink and he nods, looking Patrick over. Patrick takes the glass from him and swallows the rest of it, all while Art’s pressing his tongue down the other man’s throat. He slams the glass down on the bar and grabs Art by the arm. Art stumbles back, lips wet, eyes glassy. Confused to see Patrick there. “Hey. Um…sorry I had to wait forever for a drink,” he hiccups, sheepishly.

“I bet,” Patrick says, fixing his hair and pulling his shirt back down so his mid drift his covered. Tashi put him in eyeliner and it’s all smudged now. Silly boy. Hes so fucking handsome. No way around it. He grew up pretty. And now he’s a tennis superstar. Not that he even needs that to get this type of attention.

“Who’s he?” Art’s kissing partner asks.

“My um…this is… I don’t know… my boyfriend?” Art says, looking at Patrick, his eyes all sparkly.

“Hey boyfriend, I’m Jack and that’s my boyfriend. Kissing partner gestures to the guy who was holding Arts drink. “You all wanna go downstairs and have some fun?”

“Yeah,” Art says and Patrick wraps his arm around his waist to keep him from going back for another kiss.

“Sorry Jack, maybe next time,” Patrick says.

Jack looks irritated, he glares at Patrick and then turns his gaze back to Art. “Is that what you want?”

“Yeah,” Art says, obediently.

“Fine, hope you enjoyed the drink,” Jack frowns, walking off with his boyfriend in tow.

“I swear I didn’t ask him to buy it,” Art says, looking at Patrick.

“Oh I know,” Patrick says. “You want another?”

Art nods, and Patrick waves at the bartender. Art’s anxiously chewing his gum, one hand gripping Patrick’s t-shirt like he needs him. Patrick imagines him in a collar. On his knees like a giddy little puppy dog. Eager to do whatever he and Tashi ask and he has to reach into his pocket to adjust himself. The bartender approaches and smiles at Art, clearly she knows who he is. She looks too young to be a bartender but she leans in when Patrick asks for two more whiskey sours. He knows Tashi will just drink whatever he brings so he doesn’t bother with another drink.

“I love you guys,” the bartender comes back around and pushes the drinks forward. “It’s on the house.”

Patrick raises his glass to her and she smiles but it’s clear she’s got eyes for Art who’s busy saying “Thank you so much!”

Patrick tugs at him and guides him downstairs. He’s getting attention as they walk through the crowd, eyes follow him, people reaching for him, touching him. Boys, girls, younger, older, same age, it doesn’t seem to matter. The funniest part is that he’s hardly the most famous person there. But it’s all so hush hush. And absolutely fucking anything goes.

Downstairs the lights are down so low, your eyes have to adjust to realize what’s happening. There’s a general area where there are people in the various stages of intercourse. People who like to watch, self-pleasuring. People in different positions, gay, straight, threesomes, foursomes, swingers. On chairs and sofas, on the floor, Patrick can only compare it to a bath house or the backroom at a really popular gay club, so much moaning and groaning writhing. Art lingers, watching as he sips his drink and Patrick lets him for a moment, before pulling him towards room number 8. He presses his wristband against the scanner and it unlocks for them.

When the door closes Art is suddenly giddy, he leans against the door gazing at Patrick.

”You remember the safeword?” Patrick says softly.

”Cinnamon,” Art says and he leans in, kissing him.

“Stop,” Patrick says, taking a breath and pushing him back against the door. Patrick feels a little dizzy but he manages to pull Art towards the leather sofa. The private room is fully stocked with snacks, water and champagne. There’s tons of condoms organized by size and six different flavors of packet sized lube. There are mints and chewing gum. There’s even wet wipes and hand sanitizer. Art puts his glass down on the table.

“Can you fuck me first?” Art whispers, sitting too close, grabbing at Patrick’s zipper.

“You want to get in trouble?” Patrick says, softly.

“Why? Are you gonna tell on me?” Art smirks.

Patrick is so fucking weak for shit like this, especially when he’s been at least half hard since they walked in the club. Since Tashi brought up going to the club in the first place, actually. “Fucking behave,” Patrick groans, pushing Art’s hands away. He needs Tashi to show up now or he knows he’s gonna end up doing whatever Art asks him to. He swallows down what’s left of his whiskey and puts his glass down. Art is so antsy he’s running his mouth talking about last time, how he’d been between two boys, getting fucked while he was fucking someone else. He really liked that. Tashi liked it too. She made them replay it at home, she pegged him while he fucked Patrick. And then Patrick laid down between her legs and kissed her until she cried.

The memories along with soft sound of Art’s voice as he rambles incessantly is setting Patrick’s teeth on edge, he’s this close to making Art cock warm him if only just to shut him up.

Thankfully Tashi doesn’t make them wait too much longer. The electronic whir of the lock sounds and she walks in with two guys, one tall and thin with longer dark hair and the other one her height when she’s in heels, he’s stocky and muscular. “Did you miss me?” She asks.

“Yeah,” Art sits up eagerly.

“Fuck. He looks even better in person,” long dark hair says.

“Doesn’t he?” Tashi approaches them. She climbs on the sofa, straddling Art’s lap and settles there. He looks up at her like she’s a real life angel and he needs to pray. “Hi baby.” He whispers. Hands sliding up her thighs, making her dress ride up. Patrick shifts in his seat. One of the guys nudges the other and they both smile.

“Hi,” Tashi says, fingers on the back of his head. “We’re gonna play a little game okay?”

Art bites his lip and nods.

“I need you to say it out loud,” Tashi says, firmly. Like she’s talking to one of the many people she works with to manage Art’s career.

“Okay,” Art says. She glances at Patrick, a little smirk on her lips and then looks back at Art.

“Okay,” she says, gentle again. “That’s Zach,” she points to the tall long haired one. And that’s Kevin. You guys know of Art and Patrick.”

”Oh yes,” Kevin says and Zach echoes, “Mmhm.”

“Good,” she says. She pulls down her hair, most of it was tied off with a silk scarf, now her curls fall onto her shoulders. She takes the scarf and uses it as a blindfold, covering Art’s eyes.

“Tash— um—“ Art stammers.

“Relax, it’s part of the game.” She says lightly. “Can you see me?”

“No, um…”

She waves her hands in front of him quite close and when he doesn’t react she smiles. “Good. Since you like it so much, you’re gonna give each of them a blow job. Zach, Kevin and Patrick.”

“Mm,” Art licks his lips.

“If you can get them all off in less than 8 minutes, you get to come tonight. If you can guess which one is Patrick, I’ll let him get you off before we leave this room. You can’t use your hands but everything else is fair game. They’re each gonna be as quiet as possible,” she says looking around. “But if you can figure it out by their breathing or something else that’s fine.”

“Okay,” Art says, hitching his hips up into her.

“Last thing… obviously your mouth will be too busy for the safe word. I’m keeping my arm right here. She rests it on his upper thigh. If you need to stop pinch me. I’ll stop it no matter how light or hard you squeeze so don’t pinch unless that’s what you mean.”

“Okay,” Art hums.

She climbs off his lap and he’s already hard. She smiles and holds her finger to her lips looking around the room. Then she holds up two fingers and points at Patrick. Three fingers and she points at Zach. She holds up one finger and points at Kevin beckoning him over and he comes eagerly. She gestures for Patrick to get off the sofa. He takes a breath and stands up. Kevin smirks at him rubbing his cock as he walks forward. Art’s rubbing the leather sofa eagerly. Tashi settles next to him and rests her hand on his lap, he wraps his hand around her to keep her there.

“Okay number one,” Tashi says as Kevin approaches. She hands him a condom and he frowns but pulls it on anyway.

“Do I open?” Art asks.

”One second,” Tashi says quietly. Kevin lets out an irritated breath and then presses himself up against Art’s lips. Art opens up right away.

“Time starts now,” Tashi says, looking at the digital clock on the wall. He’s licking all over, like he’s trying to figure out how big he is. How thick. Playing his tongue along the length and diameter. He’s not much smaller than Patrick. It’s a good healthy sized, circumcised dick. Art licks his way down the shaft and back up again. He’s orally fixated in the worst way so he doesn’t waste too much time before taking it properly into his mouth. Kevin bites his lip and runs his fingers into Art’s hair. Tashi hits his arm.

“No touching,” she says.

Art hums, lips stretched around his dick, Patrick adjusts himself and lets out a sigh. Tashi smirks at him. Grabs at the loops of his pants and brings him closer. Which is so tempting because Patrick is also eager to run his fingers through Art’s hair, call him a good boy for taking it so well. Art is breathing heavy, getting sloppy and wet with it. Tongue moving, head bobbing. Filthy sucking sounds as he works on getting him to come. All while Kevin has his fingers balled into fists and he’s all seized up.

Behind him, Patrick catches Zach touching himself idly.

Art is humming pretty consistently now, he’s so hard from this, to the point where Patrick can see the damp spot where precum is starting to stain his pants a darker shade.

Tashi is taking deep breaths. “Oh baby. Oh it hasn’t even been two minutes. Fuck.” She whispers. As Kevin makes a strangled sound and starts pumping his hips. He’s breathing heavy when he’s done, Art still sucking on him like he can’t stop. But Kevin pulls out, condom wet and shiny with saliva and full of semen. Tashi’s gripping Art’s thigh.

“Tashi I’m—“ Art sighs breathless. “I can’t touch myself?”

“No baby,” Tashi says gently. “Okay number two,” she whispers.

Patrick unzips and takes himself in hand. He’s about to wet Art’s lips with precum but Tashi hands him a condom too. Which makes perfect sense. He bites it open and eases it on. It’s a fun little game. Cute idea. But Patrick really wants to fuck him so already he’s made up his mind to give himself away somehow. Art’s lips are all swollen and pink. He starts by licking again. Such a smart boy. Up and down the length and all over to gage the width. It feels so good, especially when he gets to the tip.

Patrick makes a soft sound and Tashi kicks him so he bites his lip.

“Mm,” Art takes him in, breathing deep. Mouth so deliciously hot and wet. And he’s racing his tongue back and forth. Sucking hard. Moaning as he does it. Patrick can’t help himself, he’s pushing back on him. Feeding every inch that he can into that perfect heated mouth. He likes to test his gag reflex when they do this. See how much Art can take. Face going pink, lips swollen red. Coughing up while come drips obscenely from his lips. He starts coughing and Tashi kicks him again. That doesn’t stop Art for long. He’s taking as much as he can, filling his mouth again. Trying so hard not to gag for it and Patrick can’t believe he’s already this near to the edge. There’s something so hot about being this fucking desperate and holding it all in. This erotic silence. Just the constant rhythmic beat of the club's music and Tashi bouncing her knee. Art humming, moaning.

Kevin sighs and that’s the moment Patrick remembers he’s still in the room. Art’s teasing his tongue on the underside of his cock head which feels incredible even through the thin layer of latex. Art flitting it back and forth in this spectacular dance that with every movement brings Patrick closer. He thrusts in and out and in and out and— “Fuck,” Patrick says helplessly and then he’s filling the condom.

Patrick fixates on the wetness of it as he pulls out. The condom soaked in saliva. More of it dripping from Art’s lips. Art is breathless. “What if I come by— by accident?” Art says, gasping.

“You won’t, baby,” Tashi says softly. “Come on number three.”

Zach picks up a condom.

“How much time?” Art asks.

“You’re doing so good,” Tashi says. “About 3 minutes left.”

Art licks his lips. He doesn’t really test Zach out. Just takes it into his mouth. Zach is bigger than Patrick in girth, a little shorter in length. Circumcised of course. Patrick watches Art stretch his lips around him easy. Zach doesn’t really stand a fucking chance. He’d been so worked up watching Art blow Kevin and himself, Art manages to finish him off in 90 seconds. The whole time Patrick can feel the distant hint of arousal coming back and settling low in his stomach. Art’s still blindfolded, he’s sitting there rubbing his thighs eagerly as Zach pinches the condom off and throws it away.

“Did I do it?” Art asks.

“Yes. Good job, baby,” Tashi sighs. “I’ll let you come tonight. Now take your best guess. Which one was Patrick? One, two or three?”

“Mm two,” Art says, little to no hesitation.

”Hmm,” Tashi says, glaring briefly at Patrick. She then looks to the other two. “Thanks for playing boys.”

“Any fucking time,” Zach says. “That was fun.”

“I’m clean by the way, in case you want to do it without a condom next time,” Kevin says.

“If you want a next time you’ll have to wear one. No exceptions. Sorry,” Tashi says lightly.

“Yeah, okay… just feels so much better without it. What’s the point of the constant tests if we always have to wear condoms right?” Kevin says condescendingly like Tashi is a silly girl who just doesn’t get it.

“Well you’re fucking welcome to play with someone else next time then,” Patrick says coldly. “Goodnight.”

Kevin glares at him and then follows Zach out of the private room.

“You’re a fucking cheater, Pat,” Tashi turns on him when the door shuts. She pulls off the blindfold.

“I didn’t cheat.” Patrick says. ”I followed all of your instructions, to the letter.”

Art is flushed, eyes glassy, lips red and swollen. Patrick can’t help doing what he couldn’t before and teasing his fingers into Art’s hair. He keens into the touch. So hard, he’s almost tenting in the tough fabric of his jeans.

“How’d you know it was him?” Tashi asks Art, her tone gentle with him.

“I—I know how he feels.” Art says. “The other two felt… different. Plus I could smell him. It made me want to touch.”

”Mm fine, I guess I tried to get as close as I could.” Tashi says. “Next time I’m giving you fucking five minutes to finish it all.” She smirks.

Art grins and she leans in and kisses him.

He’s seeking her body immediately grabbing at her dress, she pushes him off.

“Behave. Get on the floor like a good boy,” Tashi tells him and Art slides off the sofa to get on his knees. Patrick can tell she’s barely hanging by a thread. Her body is trembling for it.

She scoots forward, legs spread and Art barely wastes a second before he’s on his hands and knees, head buried between her thighs. Tashi is gazing up at Patrick, smiling before she lets out another sigh. Patrick feels himself getting hard again, arousal back in full force.

“Show Patrick how needy you are,” Tashi groans. Art is bent over, ass sticking out, mesh shirt riding up, moaning almost as much as she is and he reaches to undo his jeans.

Patrick sinks to his knees behind him and tugs the jeans down to expose his ass, all while reaching for a packet of lubricant from the table. It takes him no time at all to sink himself into the heat of Art’s body. And then they’re all moaning. It feels like nirvana. Patrick can’t focus on anything but this. Obsessed with the idea that he can have this all the fucking time. The therapist says they can’t fuck away their problems but Patrick would argue this makes him work so much harder at therapy… just so they can keep doing this shit. Tashi comes first, Patrick knows her tells. He reaches for Art’s cock, knows he can’t really come without stimulation. And all it takes is two strokes and he’s clenching around Patrick. Heated liquid spurting all over the place, spilling onto Patrick’s hand. Patrick fucks him into overstimulation before he’s coming inside. And then they’re all breathless, giddy and so satisfied.

They lay in the room for a little bit longer after redressing and cleaning up a bit. Art chews gum and rests his head on Tashi’s lap while Tashi and Patrick are share one of the snacks. They talk about what just happened. Art back to his normal more centered self and Patrick admits to his fantasy about putting a collar on Art next time. And the way they both suddenly go silent, both of them fidgety, lets Patrick know they’re into it.

They head upstairs so the space can be used by someone else and pick up their coats and phones from the check in. They wait for an uber. People passing by in a rush to get out of the cold. Kids hurrying in and out of other less exclusive clubs nearby. No one but other people exiting the club aware of what really goes on in there, or of what they’ve just been up to. Patrick smiles to himself, he already can’t wait to go back.

Not to superwholock on main but if anyone likes Sherlock I encourage you to read the much better fic a cure for boredom on AO3 from which I blatantly stole the cinnamon safeword and got influenced by the sex club. That and someone said Mike Faist smells like cinnamon… 🤤

[certifiedsexed]

Hi! So, I'm asexual. I know I'm asexual. Like, I didn't realize sex was something people my age were engaging in until I was in like grade 11 because I felt such a disconnect and assumed media just blew everything about sex way out of proportion. I'm also somewhere between sex repulsed and sex neutral. The thought of having sex either seems like and absolute chore (on good days) or is something that makes me feel- no joke- pure , visceral revulsion at the mere thought (on bad ones.) However, I WANT to want sex more than anything. I think on SOME days I'd be ok with being the recieving partner, but I'd never want to reciprocate (ESPECIALLY when it comes to oral sex, thats is something I have always had a really strong negative reaction to thinking about) but being willing to take it and not reciprocate out seems unfair to whoever I'd be with (i've been told it's selfish or rude when i've expressed this to friends), even if me engaging in any sort of sexual activity in the first place would be for their sake (relationships are about compromise and thats a compromise I'd be okay with). That said, I'm not sure a partner out there like that exists and I'm tired of the well meaning bullshit I get from friends being like 'you'll find someone who's gonna love you for you' because no, I haven't and chances are I won't. I'm biromantic, but I experience more attraction to women but still wouldn't really want to have sex with any of them, and considering theres a lot of buzz about how 'lesbian sex is the best sex' because both partners typically consistently and frequently get off, it seems like a bit of a reach to think I could find a girl willing to date me who doesn't want sex. Yes, other asexual folks exist, but considering i don't tend to advertize the fact I'm ace and because I don't dress in a way that could get me clocked as queer, I don't tend to meet a lot (read, any) ace people in my daily life. ANYWAY this is kind of a really in depth plea of me basically asking if there is any resource or literature that can teach me or make me not necessarily DESIRE sex (because I know that can't happen) but mentally become okay with engaging in sex. Like could I, a generally sex repulsed asexual, somehow become a sex favourable asexual through some sort of therapy or other means?

Hi!

Here's the thing, Anon. It's not unfair, selfish or rude to prefer not to reciprocate and/or "take it" during sex. That's just a preference. In fact, in the lesbian community, that's often called being a "stone bottom".

Your friends are in fact incorrect and you should know that having sexual preferences like that are never unfair or rude: you just have to communicate with your partner(s). It's literally fine.

But also, you're talking about being sex repulsed. Sex feels like a chore to you. It's not a good idea to look at sex as a chore you're willing to do for your partner. Especially when sex does make you feel ill often enough it's worth noting.

I'm not saying you can't do it but I am saying if you don't pay attention to your own boundaries, you might just wind up resenting your partner and not being able to tell where your "Hard No's" [As in boundaries that are non-negotiable and that you are not compromising on!!!] are.

It's okay if sex is a Hard No for you, even if it doesn't always make you feel ill. That's your right.

And yes, there is a lot of buzz about lesbian sex being the best. (Which partially has a lot to do with lesbophobia and the cisheteronormative views on lesbian sex "not even being sex".) But that does not mean it's a reach that another girl would want to date you without sex.

It doesn't have to be a girl who doesn't want sex, Anon; there are so many different ways to have sex and ways people enjoy it. For example, there are people who only enjoy masturbation or simply don't mind not having sex with others, especially if it means they can date someone they like.

I genuinely can't help you on finding something that will make you "okay" with engaging in sex and I'm really sorry, Anon.

You could try a sex therapist (they're supposed to be equipped for all manners of issues related to sex) but I don't feel comfortable pointing to any specific therapy methods when a lot of them are based in the idea people are "wrong" in some way for being sex repulsed and they're often hurtful and unhealthy.

But I can say that I'd really recommend joining some online ace communities, specifically with other lesbians/sapphics and talk to some other ace people there. This isn't a you issue, Anon, these are all very common worries that ace people, specifically alloace people have and it might help to talk to other people with similar experiences.

I wish I could help more. Let me know if you have any other questions, Anon. <3

[fandomrewrites]

Legends Chapter 1: Conscription Day

Hello everyone, Welcome to the Fourth Wing. Please read my post on the disclaimer/authors note before reading this chapter. I hope you all enjoy this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it! Please let me know if you want to be added to a taglist. As always constructive criticism is welcomed.

Chapters 1-3 in Fourth Wing Pairings: Xaden x Younger Sister, Liam Mairi x Best Friend Warnings: Violence, Death, Swearing, Spoilers from the book series Word Count: 6,492

Legends Masterlist

I bonded a blue daggertail. Her name is Sgaeyl. I think she'd like you. - Recovered correspondence from Cadet Xaden Riorson to (Y/N) Riorson

It's conscription day, and being a marked one means joining the rider's quadrant whether we want to or not. Lucky for me, I've always loved dragons and knew I wanted to bond one even before the Tyrrish Rebellion. Call me crazy, but flying on a dragon that you have an irreplaceable bond with, that sounds like something to live for.

Plus there's a bonus for me today, after being separated for 5 years, I finally get to see my older brother again. Navarre separated every separatist child that had a sibling, not wanting them to be together and potentially plan another uprising. My brother, Xaden, and I kept in touch through letters of course, but haven't had the chance to see each other since they split us up. His first year in the quadrant was the worse since first years aren't allowed to send or receive letters at all. They claim it helps support wing loyalty but I think it's just about control.

I'm dressed in a tight black tank top and skin tight black pants with a pack filled with only necessities. I have a few daggers strapped to my thighs and ribs as well, one of which has Tyrrish runes on the hilt. My father, Fen Riorson, also known as 'The Great Betrayer' gave me the dagger when I was 13. It's the only type of dagger that can kill Venin. Most people believe Venin are just a fairy tale but they're real and incredibly dangerous. My long black hair is dyed with bright rainbow underneath and is in a high bun, a few wisps of hair loose around my face.

I look around me, then glance up at the tower I'm about to climb. I slowly smile, wondering how quickly I'll be able to find my brother. When I look back to the people around me, some tend to be glancing at my rebellion relic on my left arm, mine's the second biggest out of all of them, it starts at my wrist and stops at the base of my neck. I roll my eyes when I see people scowl. Navarrian's judge too quickly, if only they knew what was really out there.

I quickly join the line behind a blonde boy. He gives his name to the scribe taking roll call. Beside the scribe is a rider with a rebellion relic. I smile when I realize who it is. "Next," The rider calls out. He looks up, his eyes meeting mine, and smiles, "(Y/N) Riorson. It's good to see you. You look good."

I reach down to pick up the quill and write my name, "Thanks Masen, you do too. It's really good to see a familiar face."

"You're brother will be happy to see you. He's made Wingleader."

"Good, he deserves it. I'll see you up there." Masen nods as I step past the table. The girl behind me taking my place. I slowly start up the stairs behind the blonde boy, my eyes adjusting to the darkness.

"Sorrengail as in...?" I hear the girl behind me ask. I turn around to see who she's talking to. The girl directly behind me has high cheekbones and an oval face. Her dark brown hair is worn in several rows of short braids that just touch the dark skin of her neck. She looks to be about the same height as me.

The girl behind her replies, "Yep." She's petite, her skin is pale and her eyes are blue, or maybe green? The thing that gives her away though is her hair. She's brunette but the ends are silver. Her hair is styled in a braid to keep it out of her face. It sits like a crown at the top of her head.

"The general?" The blonde guy in front of me turns and asks.

"The same one." The general's daughter replies.

"Wow. Nice leathers, too."

"Yeah, you look hot." I say, smiling at the girl. Most people would think since her mother killed my father I would hate her, but that's just not me. Don't get me wrong, I can't stand her mother. But we are not our parents.

"Thanks," She blushes, "They're courtesy of my sister."

"I wonder how many candidates have fallen off the edge of the steps and died before they even reach the parapet," The woman behind me says.

"That's a morbid thought," I mutter, but crack a smile.

"Two last year. Well, three if you count the girl one of the guys landed on." Sorrengail answers.

"How many steps are there?" Asks the girl between me and Sorrengail.

"Two hundred and fifty." The four of us walk in silence for a few minutes.

"Not too bad. I'm Rhiannon Matthias, by the way."

"Dylan," The blonde ahead of me replies.

"Violet." The youngest Sorrengail introduces.

The three turn towards me, "You'll find out soon." I smile. I don't want Violet to get the wrong idea about me after she finds out my name. I could give her just my first name but I'm not sure if she'll recognize it, so I'd rather not say anything. I notice her glance at my rebellion relic, curiosity written on her face.

"I feel like I've been waiting my entire life for this day." Dylan says, bringing the attention to him. "Can you believe we actually get to do this? It's a dream come true."

A smile lights up mine and Rhiannon's faces, "I can't fucking wait." Rhiannon says, "I mean, who wouldn't want to ride a dragon?"

"Do your parents approve?" Dylan asks, "Because my mom's been begging me to change my mind for months. I keep telling her that I'll have better chances for advancement as a rider, but she wanted me to enter the Healer Quadrant."

"Mine always knew I wanted this, so they've been pretty supportive. Besides, they have my twin to dote on. Reagan's already living her dream, married and expecting a baby." Rhiannon says, she glances back at Violet, "What about you? Let me guess. With a name like Sorrengail, I bet you were the fist volunteer this year."

"I was more like volun-told." Violet replies. We all nod in understanding. "What about you," She looks at me, "Or is that something else we can't know yet?" We've caught up to the guy in front of us, he has light brown hair and tanned skin. He doesn't turn when he hears us approach, instead he continues to focus on the steps in front of him.

I laugh, "My mom hasn't been around since I was 8 and my dad died during the rebellion." I gesture to my relic, the guy in front of Dylan tenses. "I can't say much about my mom but I don't think my dad would had wanted me to join. He was Infantry, wanted my brother to join like him and I think he would had been happy with me joining any other quadrant. But it's been my dream to bond a dragon since I can remember." I shrug. "So even if I wasn't, how did you put it? Volun-told, I would still be here today."

"You were forced into the riders quadrant?" Dylan asks.

"Yeah, all marked ones are required to join. It was a deal made for us to survive instead of dying alongside our parents." I pause, "I think they were hoping we'd be killed off here, but lots of marked ones have become riders, so jokes on them." The guy in front of Dylan finally turns around, his eyes land on my relic causing his glare to harden. He looks disgusted but I just roll my eyes.

There's an awkward silence before Violet changes the topic back to riders perks, "Riders don't get way better perks than other officers." She says to Dylan, "Better pay, more leniency with the uniform policy." She trails off.

"And the right to call yourself a supreme bad ass," Rhiannon adds.

Violet nods in agreement. "Plus, I've heard that riders are allowed to marry sooner than the other quadrants." Dylan says.

"True, right after graduation." Violet replies. "I think it has something to do with wanting to continue bloodlines."

"Or because we tend to die sooner than the other quadrants." Rhiannon says.

"Exactly, we need to actually make it the three years in the quadrant first," I continue.

"I'm not dying." Dylan says confidently, he pulls a necklace from under his tunic, there's a ring dangling from the chain. "She said it would be bad luck to propose before I left, so we're waiting until graduation." He kisses the ring before tucking the chain back under his shirt, "The next three years are going to be long ones, but they'll be worth it."

I keep my mouth shut but something in me screams that it's not going to turn out alright for him. I admire his confidence, hell I'm confident I'll be fine. But talking about the future so far in advance feels like you're asking Zihnal to give you all the bad luck in the world.

"You might make it across the parapet," The guy behind Violet sneers, "This one here is a breeze away from the bottom of the ravine." Violet and I simultaneously roll our eyes.

"Shut up and focus on yourself." Rhiannon snaps. The top of the tower comes into sight. The clouds look gray and there is a breeze, it's going to start raining any minute now. I can't tell how windy it actually is until I step forward, pass the enclosed walls. The brunette in front of Dylan just started across the parapet, slow and steady.

I eye the three Riders taking roll call, one is instructing Dylan and another is writing the names down but my gaze is locked on the last one. I immediately notice his relic, his black hair, and tawny skin that matches mine, and a smile stretches across my face. Before I can say anything to him Dylan turns towards us, '"See you three on the other side!"

I nod in acknowledgment then my gaze snaps back to the rider with the relic, a smirk is on his face when my eyes reach his. I run up to him and give him a big hug. "I've missed you so much, Xaden!"

He laughs, "I have a reputation to uphold, you're ruining it," He mutters, but he still wraps me in a hug just as big. We pull away and he checks me over, "You've grown a lot since I last saw you."

"Well duh, I was 15." I roll my eyes.

Xaden's eyes narrow, we have the same gold-flecked onyx eyes, "Same attitude though. You ready, (Y/N)?"

I nod confidently, stepping up to the other rider, "(Y/N) Riorson." The riders eyes flicker between me and my brother, "Yes, we're siblings."

Behind me I hear Rhiannon, "You ready for this Sorrengail?"

Xaden's gaze snaps to Violet, I roll my eyes knowing he's going to have to say something to the petite woman. "Sorrengail?"

Violet doesn't answer, so Rhiannon nudges her, "Violet?"

"You're General Sorrengail's youngest."

"And you two are Fen Riorson's kids." Violet counters looking between Xaden and I.

"Your mother captured our father and saw his execution."

I sigh, "Xaden-"

"Your father killed my older brother. Seems like we're even." Violet replies. If only she knew he was alive.

Rhiannon looks at me, "He won't do anything, right?" She asks.

"No." I shake my head.

"You all right?" Rhiannon asks Violet.

Xaden glances at her then me, "You guys friends?"

"We met on the stairs." Violet replies, "All of us."

"Interesting."

"Are you going to kill me?" Violet asks, she glances between my brother and me.

The sky opens up, rain pouring over us. A scream comes from the parapet. We all turn our heads to see Dylan slip. I knew something was going to happen, I just didn't know it would be this quickly. He catches himself, hooking his arms over the stone bridge, his feet scrambling for something to grab onto. "Let go of your pack!" I call out to him.

"Pull yourself up, Dylan!" Rhiannon screams right after me.

But Dylan loses his grip on the parapet. He falls, his body disappearing from view. The guy in front of him, has turned around, watching where Dylan falls. "Why would I waste my energy killing you when the parapet will do it for me?" I hear Xaden say to Violet. He turns back to me, "Don't you dare die out there. I just got you back."

"Please, I can skip across and still be fine. Maybe do a little spin?" I smirk at my brother.

Xaden glares, "Don't test anything. Especially not in this weather."

"Yeah, yeah. See you later. Can't wait to meet Sgaeyl." I turn towards the girls, "Good luck. Hope to see you both on the other side."

I step up onto the soaked parapet, the wisps of loose hair whipping in my face. I take a step and put my arms out to the sides to keep my balance. If it wasn't rainy, I would had been fine walking without my arms out for balance, but my shoes don't have a good grip which I realize after just a few steps. I slowly kneel down, untying my right boot and taking it off. I slowly stand up, boot in hand, and take one step forward so my left foot is in front of me. I bend down again, untying my left boot, taking it off and holding it in my other hand.

Once I'm standing up at my full height I notice the brunette is still standing on the parapet, facing me. "Dude, are you going to continue?" The guy smirks at me, he slowly takes a dagger out of a sheath at his ribs. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me." I mumble to myself.

I tie my shoelaces together, then place them over my neck like a scarf to free my hands. I reach for my dagger that's strapped to my thigh. "Last chance to continue before I kill you." I yell at the guy. He's bigger than me but there's no way I'm dying here. Not today.

The guy scoffs, "I'd like to see you try." He beckons me forward. So, with nothing else to do, I charge. I'm quick, quicker than what he thought I would be considering the look on his face. I fly over the wet stone, once I get close enough, I drop into a slide. Before he can block me, I kick my leg out, he falls to his back with a heavy thud, the air knocked out of his lungs.

I stand up quick, he tries to lift his dagger up to protect himself, but I kick his arm. The unmistakable sound of bone snapping can be heard over the pounding rain. His dagger falls out of his hand, dropping to the ravine below. I bend down over him, dagger held to his throat, "Should had walked away when you had the chance." Before he can beg for his life, I slit his throat, I wipe the blood off my knife with his shirt then I search his sheaths for anymore daggers, placing them in my own sheaths, before I push his body off the parapet.

I stand up straight again, noticing blood on my hand, I wipe it off on my own shirt and double check my sheaths. I look ahead of me, noticing that I have about ten more feet before making it to the other side. Ten more feet before I can become a cadet. I square my shoulders, raise my head high, then continue across like nothing happened.

Once I take my last step off the parapet, I turn to the rider sitting beside the scroll for name call. She has red hair and a crossbow attached to her back, "Name?" She asks.

"(Y/N) Riorson." I smile.

She snorts, "Should have known."

The male rider next to her looks me up and down, noticing the boots around my neck, "Can't say I've ever seen someone cross barefoot. Or kill someone that quickly on the parapet."

"Yeah, well, there's a first time for everything." I remove the boots from around my neck then look away from the rider. I instantly make eye connect with someone I haven't seen in 5 years. He's under an overhang, keeping out of the rain. His blue eyes connect with my onyx ones, a smirk on his face. I run towards him and jump into his arms, boots gently bouncing off his back. "I missed you so fucking much, Liam."

Liam and I have been best friends for years, his mother Colonel Mairi worked with my father during the rebellion. He was also fostered with my brother. Liam and I wrote letter's to each other often, especially when Xaden went into his first year in the quadrant. We promised each other that we would wait for the other after crossing the parapet, wanting to see each other as soon as possible.

"I missed you too, (Y/N)." He pulls back slightly, still holding me in his arms. "Crossing the parapet barefoot and did I hear that guy say you killed someone?" He shakes his head. He reaches lower, picking up my legs to lock them around his waist.

"What are you doing?" I smile at him, but keep my arms and legs locked around him. "And yes I killed someone, he was trying to kill me first, I gave him the option to walk away but he didn't listen."

"Carrying you to a bench," He answers my question before continuing to talk about the candidate I killed, "I'm guessing he didn't realize who you were if he challenged you."

"I can walk, you know." I reply, rolling my eyes. "And you'd be correct, he saw my relic but didn't know anything else."

"Yes, but the ground is gross and you have no socks or shoes on." He stops in front of a bench, gently placing me back on the ground. "Sit." I sit, watching as he kneels in front of me, reaching for my boots. He unties the laces so they're no longer together, "Already getting death threats." He mumbles under his breath.

"I can also put on my own shoes." I smirk. I choose to drop the conversation about the guy I killed unless he asks me more questions.

"I know. But why should you when I'm here?" He smiles.

I sigh as he lifts my left foot to put my boot back on. "You're too good to me."

"Just treating you like you deserve."

"I don't know. I think this is a lot."

Liam shakes his head, "Absolutely not. You deserve to be treated like a fucking Goddess. So that's exactly how I'll treat you." I blush at his words.

"Well at least stop looking at me like that." I say as he puts my left foot down and picks up my right. His blue eyes are soft, he's looking at me like he's seeing the sun for the first time in years.

"I can't help it. You're beautiful. And I haven't seen you in 5 years."

"I look like a mess right now." I wave a hand indicating my hair which is messy from the wind and rain.

"You always look beautiful to me." His smile lights up his face.

"Stop. I'll have to marry you if you keep saying all these nice things to me." I roll my eyes, but the smile on my face tells him I'm not annoyed.

"Then I'll have to thank Zihnal, because luck would surely be on my side if I get to marry you." I giggle, causing his eyes to light up. He squeezes my thigh, "All set." He stands up, hands stretched in front of him to help me up.

I kiss his cheek once I'm at my full height, "Thank you, handsome."

"You're very welcome," His eyes scan my body, making sure I'm alright, "Are you okay? That guy didn't hurt you, right?"

I shake my head, keeping one of my hands in his, "No, he didn't even get one hit in. Now come on. I gotta make sure the girls I met on the stairs made it." When I get back to the parapet I see Violet and Rhiannon hugging. I let go of Liam's hand, making my way to the girls, "You guys made it!"

"We did!" Rhiannon yells back, pulling me into a hug. Violet hangs back clearly unsure how to act around me. "Thank gods you're okay! Your brother looked about ready to murder that guy when he saw you start to fight. I seriously thought he was going to start crossing and interfere, but you ended everything so quick he didn't have a chance."

"The guy was underestimating me." I shrug, "He thought because he was bigger he could easily over power me, clearly that didn't work." I then gesture towards Liam, "This is Liam Mairi, my best friend." Liam smiles, waving at Rhiannon and Violet.

Rhiannon smiles back at Liam, she then turns her attention back to Violet, looping an arm through hers, "We need to switch our shoes back."

"There's a bench right over-"

I'm cut off as a tall figure in rider black pushes past Liam and I, moving towards the youngest Sorrengail, "Violet?" He looks her over, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Good to see you too, Dain." Violet replies, her knees give out once the sentence leaves her mouth.

"Damn it, Violet," he mutters. He wraps an arm around her, helping her stand straight. He moves her to the bench that Liam and I just left. Rhiannon, Liam, and I exchange looks before following.

"I'm going to be sick." Violet whispers.

"Head between your knees," Dain replies. The two clearly know each other. "It's the adrenaline. Give it a minute and it will pass." He finally turns to the rest of the group, "Who the hell are you guys?" He eyes mine and Liam's rebellion relics.

I glare at him as Rhiannon answers, "I'm Rhiannon... Violet's friend."

Dain's eyes linger on me and Liam. "I'm Liam Mairi." Liam introduces.

"(Y/N)." I say, not giving him my last name.

"Full name, cadet." Dain growls.

I roll my eyes, "(Y/N) Riorson. Asshole." Liam's lips quirk up, fighting a smile.

Dain's glare hardens at my name, "Listen to me. Violet is fine. And if anyone asks, then tell them exactly what I said, that it's just the adrenaline working out of her system. Understand?"

"It's no one's business what's going on with Violet," Rhiannon retorts. "So I wouldn't say shit. Especially not when she's the reason I made it across the parapet."

"You better mean that," Dain's eyes flicker back to Liam and I.

"Like Rhiannon said, it's no ones business. So I won't say shit." I reply, Liam nodding in agreement.

"Why are you even here, Riorson? We're in formation. You can't kill her."

I roll my eyes, "If I wanted Sorrengail dead, I would had pushed her off the stairs the minute I realized who she was. Who the fuck are you anyway?"

"He's one of my oldest friends," Violet replies, slowly lifting her head.

"And a second-year rider, Cadet. Show some respect."

"I'll show some respect when you earn it." I snap back. Dain glares but focuses back on Violet. They have a whispered conversation. Rhiannon, Liam, and I hanging back.

"Vi, do you trust this one?" He asks Violet, nodding towards Rhiannon and leaving Liam and I out of the question. Violet nods, causing Dain to turn towards Rhiannon, "I'm Dain Aetos, and I'm the leader of Second Squad, Flame Section, Second Wing." No wonder he's bossy. Still doesn't mean I'm going to respect him if he's being a judgy ass just because of my last name.

"Parapet should be over in the next couple of hours, depending on how fast the candidates cross or fall. Go find the redhead with the roll - she's usually carrying a crossbow - and tell her that Dain Aetos put both you and Violet Sorrengail into his squad. If she questions you, tell her she owes me from saving her ass at Threshing last year. I'll bring Violet back to the courtyard shortly."

Rhiannon looks at Violet in reassurance. Violet nods. "Go before someone see us," Dain orders. When Rhiannon leaves Dain looks back at Liam and I.

"Don't worry, I can tell when I'm not wanted." I roll my eyes, at the taller boy. Before leaving I turn back towards Violet, "I really am happy to see you made it." I grab Liam's hand once more pulling him away.

"Becoming friends with a Sorrengail?" Liam asks.

"She's not her mom. And according to her she didn't even want to be here. I need to find Bodhi." Liam nods, "Did you want to come with?"

Liam shrugs, "Sure, haven't seen him in a while. Might as well say hi."

Liam and I look around the group of cadets, and gently elbow our way past people to try and find my cousin. Just like Xaden and Liam, it's been 5 years since I've seen him so I'm definitely eager to catch up. It's only his second year, so last year I didn't get to keep in contact with him. Xaden, of course, let me know how he was doing and that he bonded a green swordtail named Cuir. "I know you said that guy didn't hurt you but how are you feeling? He was the first person you killed, right?"

"He was," I confirm, "But I feel fine, it's not a big deal. I knew coming here, especially with my last name, it was going to be kill or be killed. And I quite like living so I don't really have another option." Liam nods, but still keeps a close eye on me. He's always been protective, despite knowing that I'm completely capable of caring for myself.

As we walk through the crowd, my eyes land on Eya, who is a second year and my foster sister. "Eya!" I call out. Her eyes snap to me, a giant smile showing on her face.

She stops talking to the woman next to her and wraps me in a big hug. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. Have you seen Bodhi?"

She shakes her head, leaning back to look me over, "He should be around here."

"I'm fine. No need to look me over like that."

She rolls her eyes, "Your balance was always the best but you can't blame me for being concerned." Her eyes narrow on the spot of blood smeared into my shirt, "Is that blood?"

"It's not mine. And I'm alive. That's all that matters right now."

Her eyes widen, "It's not yours?"

Before I can reply, strong arms wrap around me from behind, "There you are! Thank gods you're okay!" I recognize Bodhi's voice instantly, he backs away, grabbing my shoulder's to turn me around so we're eye to eye. "I was hearing rumors that you were attacked on the parapet. Are they true?"

I smile, "Yes, they're true. Yes, I'm fine. Yes, I killed him. The blood is his, not mine. Any other questions I missed the answer too?"

Liam adds on, "Don't forget you were also barefoot."

"What happened?" Eya asks, bringing my attention back towards her. So I retell the story about the guy glaring at me when he found out I was a marked one and how he waited for me on the parapet so I couldn't cross and my only option was to kill him.

"He didn't even know your last name?" Bodhi questions. I shake my head, "Fuck, I know we're targeted but..." He trails off.

"I knew coming here I was going to be targeted, even worse once people know who I am. I'm not dying at the hands of another cadet. If I die here, it's going to be because the dragons decide I'm not worthy, but gods do I hope that's not the case."

He nods, "Always the smart one. But we all got your back. You're not alone in here. Imogen and Garrick will be happy to see you again. And of course there's us three," He nods towards Eya and Liam, "And Xaden. We won't let anything happen to you."

I smile brightly, "I know, but no need to worry about me, like I said, I have everything handled. And gods am I excited to see everyone again. I was lucky to be with Eya in our foster home but it's nice to have all of you back." Because marked ones can only be in groups of three or less, Liam leaves me alone with Bodhi and Eya. He hugs me goodbye, reassuring me that we'll talk again soon. For the next two hours I sit with Bodhi and Eya, waiting for the last of the cadets to cross the parapet. Xaden is the last to cross the parapet once all the cadets have crossed over. He stops to say something to the redhead, then moves away, towards the front of the courtyard.

"Looks like we're about to start, get over there with the other first years, we'll see you later." Bodhi pulls me into a quick hug as he speaks. As soon as Bodhi lets go, Eya hugs me too. I smile one last time at them before I turn and head towards the group of first years.

I spot Rhiannon first, moving to stand beside her. I flash a quick smile at her, Violet, and another girl that I haven't met yet, then face forward. "Three hundred and one of you have survived the parapet to become cadets today," Commandant Panchek starts, "Good job. Sixty seven did not."

The girl I don't know whispers to us, "I heard this is just a stepping stone for him. He wants Sorrengail's job, then General Melgren's."

"General Melgren's?" Rhiannon whispers back.

"He'll never get it," Violet says just as quietly, "Melgren's dragon gives him the signet ability to see a battle's outcome before it happens." Except for when there's four or more marked ones in the battle, but I don't tell them that. This is why only three marked ones are allowed to be around each other at a time. Not that we actually listen to the man who killed our parents. "There's no beating that, and you can't be assassinated if you know it's coming."

Panchek continues, "As the Codex says, now you begin the true crucible! You will be tested by your superiors, hunted by your peers, and guided by your instincts. If you survive to Threshing, and if you are chosen, you will be riders. Then we'll see how many live to graduation."

There's a pause before Panchek continues, "Your instructors will teach you," he swings a hand to indicate the professors. "It's up to you how well you learn." He then points at us. "Discipline falls to your units, and your wingleader is the last word. If I have to get involved... You don't want me involved."

"With that said, I'll leave you to your wingleaders. My best advice, don't die." Panchek walks off stage and a brunette woman takes his place.

"I'm Nyra, the senior wingleader of the quadrant and the head of the first wing. Section leaders and squad leaders, take your positions now."

Second and Third years gather at the front, I see Garrick standing among them, he's a section leader for fourth wing. "Sections and squads." Violet whispers. "Three squads in each section and three sections in each of the four wings."

"Thank you," Rhiannon whispers back, I already knew this thanks to Xaden.

"First Squad!" Nyra calls out. "Claw section! First Wing!" A man close to the dais raises his hand. "Cadets, when your name is called, take up formation behind your squad leader."

The cadet with red hair that took our names once we got off the parapet stands in the front with her scroll and starts calling out names. The asshole that stood behind Violet on the stairs, Jack, gets placed into Third Squad, Flame Section, First Wing. Tara, the girl standing next to Violet that I never got the name of, is called into First Squad, Tail Section, First Wing. Rhiannon and Violet are placed together in Flame Section of Second Wing, Dain's Squad.

Liam gets called for Second Squad, Tail Section, Fourth Wing. I'm not called until Second Squad, Flame Section of Fourth Wing. Though no surprises there when I see Xaden is Fourth Wings wingleader. Once the final name is called the wingleaders get into a heated discussion. Once the argument is settled, Nyra calls out. "Dain Aetos, you and your squad will switch with Aura Beinhaven's. Except for Cadet's Scarlett McCall and (Y/N) Riorson. You two will stay where you are."

I stay put as the rest of my former squad moves to Second Wing and Rhiannon, Violet, and Imogen, who I just spotted for the first time, head my way. I send Imogen a quick smile, she squeezes my hand as she passes by to stand behind me. "It's good to see you." She whispers.

"You too," I whisper back. Unlike Xaden, Bodhi, and Liam, throughout the years after the rebellion I still saw Imogen. Our foster parents were friends and lived close to each other which made it easy for the two of us to stay in contact.

Nyra and Xaden exchange a look before Xaden takes Nyra's place. "You're all cadets now," Xaden starts, "Take a look at your squad. These are the only people guaranteed by Codex not to kill you. But just because they can't end your life doesn't mean others won't. You want a dragon? Earn one."

Most people cheer but I keep my mouth shut, there's nothing to celebrate yet. "And I bet you feel pretty bad ass right now, don't you, first years?" There are more cheers. "You feel invincible after the parapet, don't you?" Xaden shouts, "You think you're untouchable! You're on the way to becoming the elite! The few! The chosen!" Xaden reminds me of dad, he knows how to hold the attention of a crowd. Knows how to be a leader.

As people cheer, wing beats can be heard getting louder, growing closer. "Oh gods, they're beautiful." Rhiannon whispers from ahead of me. A smile grows on my face as I see the navy blue dragon, that must be Sgaeyl. And damn, is she gorgeous, they all are.

A few cadets scream as the dragons land on the side of the walls, steam blows across us, as Sgaeyl swings her head in an elegant, lethal sweep. There are three dragons in shades of red, two in shades of green, one brown, one orange, and Sgaeyl, the lone blue. One cadet in third wing makes a run for it. I can't help but roll my eyes, he can't seriously think that he'll actually make it. The red dragon on the left opens its mouth, revealing huge teeth. Fire erupts along its tongue incinerating the fleeing cadet.

Two more cadets run and two more blasts of heat fill the air around us. Seventy dead now. After a pause and no more cadets running, Xaden speaks once more, "Anyone else feel like changing their mind? No? Excellent. Roughly half of you will be dead by this time next summer." The formation is silent except for a few sobs, Xaden's eyes scan the crowd, pausing on me, "A third of you again the year after that, and the same your last year. No one cares who your mommy or daddy is here. Even King Tauri's second son died during his Threshing. So tell me again: Do you feel invincible now that you've made it into the Rider's Quadrant? Untouchable? Elite?" No one cheers this time.

A blast of warmth, hits the side of my face. I blink, glancing sideways at Sgaeyl. She breathes in my scent, she must know that I'm Xaden's sister. My mouth quirks up into a smile, eyes trained on her. The dragons, and probably the older cadet's, want us scared. But I was born for this, I'm ready. I'm not dumb enough to be overly cocky, I know shit happens and there's a chance I'll die any day now, but I refuse to go down without a fight. I'm determined to make it to graduation. And even longer than that.

"Because you're not untouchable or special to them." My eyes flicker back to Xaden as he points to his dragon, "To them, you're just the prey."

*_*_*_*_*_*

Before bed I meet with Xaden one last time in the courtyard. He throws an arm over my shoulders in a one armed hug, "Who did you reunite with after parapet?" He asks.

"Liam, Bodhi, and Eya." I pause, "And briefly, Imogen. I know you didn't switch my squad because of me, but I'm happy you did."

"It's none of your business why I switched your squad. My room is on the third floor, last door on the left. I have it warded so only you and I can get in. If you need me, try there first." I nod as he pauses, "I also want to warn you, don't let Aetos touch your face. I don't know why he would try with you but just in case I want you to be aware."

"What's up with Aetos?" I question.

"He's a memory reader. It's supposed to be classified information so don't go telling anyone but you need to know."

"Well, I'm pretty sure he hates me, but if he tries I'll break his arm before he can lay a hand on me."

"Why do you think he hates you?" Xaden's eyes narrow.

"I called him an asshole and said the only way I would respect him is if he earned it."

The right side of Xaden's lips twitch into a smile, "Of course you did," he sighs. "Try not to piss him off more, he's your squad leader."

"So? You can just get me out of trouble. You're my wingleader."

"And show bias? No way."

"Well what's the point of me being in your wing if you don't even help me out." I cross my arms, "I bet I can get Garrick to defend me against Dain."

"Yeah, you're probably right about that. We both think he's a dick, now get to bed. I'll see you tomorrow morning." Xaden dismisses me, but before he walks too far away I call out to him.

"Xaden!" He turns around to look at me, "Tell Sgaeyl I think she's badass." Xaden chuckles, shaking his head, then continues down the corridor.

[scekrex]

Love your writing!!

Can I request an Adam x Lucifer’s Ex! reader? Reader is basically the same rank as Lucifer was (so he’s the same strength as him too) Basically, they split up after he and Lilith got together and gave Eve the Apple. Reader is extremely depressed about it but then he meets one of the humans from Eden, Adam . And they find solidarity and comfort in going through the same/similar situation.

Lowkey giving that one scene from Steven Universe (No idea if you’ve watched/like SU so, if you’re not sure what I’m talking about, I’ll link it here. (If you want, you can probably just skip to the time stamps or watch all of it, either’s fine, but it starts at 2:33 and ends around 3:11

Spoilers for Steven Universe, if you even care.

https://youtu.be/PnlRR0rX_Q0?feature=shared

(The context for the SU scene is ofc different, but just the overall vibe of it is what I mean.) but just 2 people abandoned by someone who was supposed to be their soulmate (Twice for Adam) and them finding love in each other in the end.

(Like, imagine both the fluff AND angst potential.)

Also!! If/After you write this one, I might request a Part 2 of this with angst for the aftermath of EP.8. (ONLY if you’re ok with it OFC! If not, just tell me in your A/N for this one and I won’t send it!!)

I hope you have a great day!!!! 💙💙

Okay first of all: gimme that EP 8 request right now, I need it soooo badly °^° I haven't seen SU but I've watched the scene you linked and it helped to get the vibe right so much, this is a lil short but dragging it out just to make it appear longer felt wrong. I hope you like it though. Also friendly reminder: this is set in Eden before Adam became a douchebag.

Part 2

I'm a jester and I'm yours, call me your fool

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, hurt (with comfort)

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

Eden had always been the place for you to ge whenever you felt sad or upset, it calmed you down, eased your mind, made your thoughts shut up for only a couple moments. Lucifer had betrayed you, you knew that, you also knew that it had been for the best to end things with him before he would take it too far with his wish for free will and with the things that were going on between him and Lilith. And before you even realized how sad that made you feel, to be betrayed, to be replaced by a mortal soul that would never be as pure as you were, you started crying - it wasn’t loud and if someone wouldn’t have paid attention it was also not visible but Adam did pay attention. Lucifer and Lilith had given Eve the apple, the forbidden fruit, how much further would heaven allow them to go? You weren’t sure. What you were sure about though, was the fact that you missed Lucifer, you missed his warmth, his chaotic yet gentle way of handling things, no matter what it was. You missed his creative mind, his joyful character, the love he had held for you that he had never been able to hide. You missed your clumsy blonde little angel - you shook your head, no, he was no longer yours.

And while you tried to sort your emotions out, the brunette human carefully creeped closer, he noticed your sadness and despite the fact that he didn’t know why you were crying, he felt like he understood without knowing the true reason - he had heard them whispering about it. About how Lucifer had left his boyfriend in order to get together with the first woman, his ex wife, Lilith. And while one loss alone had been seemingly impossible to carry, Adam had not only lost Lilith to his former best friend, he had also lost Eve. Eve, who had tried to talk him into eating the apple as well, he had refused to though, he wanted to remain pure, if she decided that wasn’t for her though, then that was her deal and not Adam’s.

Once he had reached you, he quietly sat down next to you, he wanted to take the sadness away from you, a creature as gorgeous and heavenly as yours should not sit in Eden and cry. He wanted to ask you why you were crying, who caused all those tears but he felt like it wasn’t his place to do so - you were an angel after all. Was he even allowed to sit next to you? The first man didn’t know, but he was sure that if he wouldn’t be allowed near you, you would tell him so. Lucifer might be disobeying heaven’s rules, but you? You looked too pure to do so.

You quickly wiped your tears away as soon as you noticed the presence next to you, when you turned your head to look at the person that had decided to take their place by your side, you were quite surprised to see the face of the first man there. “You look so sad,” the brunette hummed as he reached out to gently touch your cheek. Your golden, broken looking eyes met equally broken brown ones and you somehow found comfort in them, even though they belonged to a total stranger. “Yeah,” you softly chuckled at his words, a small smile forced itself onto your lips, “I guess that’s normal when you get dumped, though.” So the rumors had been true, Lucifer had left his boyfriend for Adam’s former wife. He inhaled deeply, “That’s what love brings.” And yeah, he had a point. Love was able to bring joy and happiness, but it could also take those feelings away from you within seconds. Carefully you leaned into Adam’s touch and closed your eyes as you breathed in the scent of the brunette. “A creature as beautiful as you shouldn’t be sad over losing someone like Lucifer though,” the first man continued and gently caressed your cheek with his thumb, wiping away all remains of your tears. “That’s so easy to say, Adam,” your voice cracked when you said his name and you opened your eyes again, “He was everything.” Adam nodded, he understood, “So was Eve. And Lilith. But sometimes they choose a different path than you do and there is nothing you can do to change that.”

And looking at it that way made you realize that Adam was in the same situation as you were, a situation that tore apart everything just because Lucifer had made a reckless decision. You had lost everything and so had Adam, you were sitting in the same boat, sailing the same ocean of sadness. But now you had found each other, so at least you weren’t sailing alone anymore. “Adam?” you asked quietly as you looked at the first man, making sure you’d get nothing but honesty when your eyes met his, “Can you stay?” And without hesitation the first man nodded, this would not only bring you comfort and take a little bit of the sadness away from you, no, the brunette would also find comfort in this, you would keep his mind busy and that he was very thankful for.

[angofwords]

How many works do you have on AO3? 44 on AO3. I have some older stuff on ff.net and other places, but I've never brought them over.

What's your total AO3 word count? 574,585

Your Top 5 stories by kudos

A Farewell to Arms: Banana Fish - My one and only fix-it fic, where Ash finds a way to cheat death, but nothing goes quite the way he planned. (2,861 kudos)

In the Closet: Banana Fish - A sexy little first-time romp in the darkroom that Eiji set up in the fancy apartment. (1,474 kudos)

Wishful Thinking: Banana Fish - A misunderstanding causes Ash to reveal far too much about what he's willing to give Eiji. (1,010 kudos)

Bound to You: Lord of the Rings - Wherein Legolas and Gimli go from enemies to lovers to soulmates. (930 kudos)

The Landscape Was the Same on Both Sides: Banana Fish - Ash is upset because Eiji seems to be avoiding his touch. Then he finds out why. (876 kudos)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I love comments. I haven't always responded to all of them--there were periods when my kid was little, especially, when my actions didn't meet my intentions, but nowadays I respond to all of them. I consider fanfiction as my way of engaging with the fandom, with the people who love the same stuff I love, so when someone reaches out to me, that's my best opportunity to connect. I've made a lot of friends in the comments of fanfics. <3

Do you write crossovers?

Not really. I don't read them, either.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, but not often. I love a good romance and even a bit of a build up of tension and kissing and touching, but more often than not, I leave the real smut to the imagination. A notable exception is:

I Get By (With a Little Help From My Friends): Lord of the Rings - Legolas and Gimli seduce Aragorn as a way to distract him from his troubles. (This is the fic I hope my LOTR-loving mom NEVER finds!)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of? I'd like to think that someone would let me know if that happened.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I've had a lot of people ask/offer to translate them, but a handful have really been done. I'm super grateful that these lovely people did the work:

Прощай, оружие: a Russian translation (by Fuyu_no_Mafuyu) of A Farewell to Arms

Stars: a Russian translation (by rootofallevil) of Stars

In the Closet: a Mandarin translation (by Voltsliart) of In the Closet

Последняя ошибка: A Russian translation (by Fuyu_no_Mayfuyu) of His Last Mistake

Комета Эша: A Russian translation (by Fuyu_no_Mayfuyu) of Ash's Comet

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I started out in fanfiction by collaborating with my sister on Little Women fanfics that never saw the light of day, and yes, we've also collaborated on a few other stories, too. Namely, a series of Legolas/Gimli fics that are all in the same universe:

The Second Breakfast Club: Lord of the Rings - A high school AU where the fellowship come together in a series of Saturday detention sessions. Co-written by lisafer

Closer: Lord of the Rings - Legolas and Gimli explore their brand new relationship in a way fairly typical of teenagers. Co-written by lisafer

St. Aule's Fire: Lord of the Rings - When Legolas and Gimli move in together, they quickly realize that love isn't enough to keep a relationship strong. Co-written by lisafer

What's your all time favorite ship?

My husband jokes that AshEiji is the primary relationship in my life. I've shipped those two for over 20 years and I don't see any other ship coming anywhere close, honestly.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but probably never will?

I started a novel about Eowyn from Lord of the Rings. I really want to finish it, but I need to learn how to write in a way that works. Right now it's okay, but I need it to sing. The first few chapters are on AO3:

Untouched: Lord of the Rings - the events of the War of the Ring from the point of view of Eowyn of Rohan.

What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm good at characterization, dialogue, and conveying emotions. I think I'm good with word choice and adding rhythm to my prose.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm slow. Part of it is that I'm meticulous--I've never learned to draft, so I can't move on from a sentence or a scene until it feels exactly the way I want it to. That has derailed many, many fics over the years. Also, I'm not great with strong endings. I'm working to improve that.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet, but want to?

I have SuperBat in my head and heart, but I'm far too scared to write it. I don't know if I can do that ship justice.

What's your favorite fic that you've written?

This is a difficult question, because I tend to love the stuff I've written most recently. But I really like these:

Just Say Yes: Banana Fish - This is an extreme canon-divergence, where Eiji doesn't get to New York until five years after the events of Banana Fish. He's an Olympic medalist in a bit of an identity crisis and ends up in fake marriage to Ash Lynx to get a green card.

Dear Boss (A Confession): Banana Fish - Ash gets a letter from Alex, his second in command, who feels obligated to confess a secret that might get him killed.

The Undying: Lord of the Rings - Gimli helps Legolas finally build the boat that takes him far from Middle Earth.

Triptych: Banana Fish - My one and only exploration of Shorter/Ash/Eiji

Shades of Light: Gundam Wing - Quatre and Heero deal with their shared grief after Trowa is killed on a mission. (This is VERY old and I've outgrown the writing style, but I still love it!)

I tag @localvampirebitch @gioia-writes-and-others @lisafer @roselightfairy

[zukosdualdao]

i've been seeing the take recently that what aang is actually encouraging katara to do is to forgive herself and that he’s not explicitly encouraging or expecting her to forgive yon rha.

the ironic thing is that i do think part of what katara needed from the experience of confronting yon rha was to let go of the guilt she held for her mother sacrificing herself for katara. i find this especially evident in the scene where she recounts the story to zuko and remarks that she's "not the helpless little girl" she was when they came, and how enraged she becomes when yon rha asks who kya was protecting. but though she ultimately chooses not to take revenge, katara facing yon rha and realizing what he did is about him and what kind of person he is and was never her fault is ultimately a good thing. it’s not an easy or fun experience, but i do think it was a very necessary one.

i might be somewhat less critical of aang in this episode if that actually was what he was saying (though if he went about it in the exact same way, i would still find it condescending and not a productive way of reaching out to her.)

but that’s just… literally not what he’s saying.

Zuko: Sokka told me the story of what happened. I know who did it and I know how to find him. Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish? Katara [Shakes her head in dismay.] Ugh, I knew you wouldn't understand. [Begins to walk away.] Aang: Wait! Stop! I do understand. You're feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people? Zuko: She needs this, Aang. This is about getting closure and justice. Aang: I don't think so. I think it's about getting revenge. Katara [Angrily.] Fine, maybe it is! Maybe that's what I need! Maybe that's what he deserves! Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

i think this is the one interaction between aang and katara in which you could maybe argue that he wants her to forgive herself, as he brings up something he's expressed guilt about before, in the storm, (running away before the fire nation killed the air nomads), and she comforted him there and encouraged him not to feel guilty.

but the thing is, he doesn't say anything about how she shouldn't feel guilty. he tries to acknowledge what she's feeling, which is good, but if he was honestly trying to encourage her to forgive herself, i think he would remind her of how she comforted him when he expressed his own guilt. i'm not even totally sure how in tune he is with her guilt. it's not something he mentions when expressing he knows how she feels. (and this isn't me saying he's awful to not know that; it's not something he can necessarily know unless she's expressed it to him, which we haven't seen. but we have seen her try to connect with him over her mother’s death to empathize with him in the southern air temple, and he doesn’t really acknowledge it. so, i do think it shows he has an overly simplistic understanding of her emotions, and that he's not thinking about this in the framework of forgiving oneself.)

if the writers wanted to showcase him encouraging her to forgive herself, they could have had aang say something like, "i know how badly losing your mother must have hurt, but it wasn't your fault, and i'm worried that confronting the man who killed her won't help you."

instead, he immediately makes an argument about moral corruption - he thinks it is about revenge and expresses she sounds like jet because of it. that... is not encouraging her to forgive herself. it's a judgment based on morality. you can argue about whether aang's right or not (i, personally, find his stance reductive in context, but to each their own), but he is absolutely being judgmental here.

this is when the concept of forgiveness comes up:

Katara: Now that I know he's out there ... now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice. Aang: Katara, you do have a choice: forgiveness. Zuko: That's the same as doing nothing! Aang: No, it's not. It's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive. Katara: It's not just hard, it's impossible. [Cuts to overhead shot of the field as she walks away, Zuko following behind.]

in it, aang encourages forgiveness directly after katara expresses she feels she has no choice but to confront her mother’s killer. even if aang does mean forgiveness for herself, katara does not hear it that way, as is made evident by the fact she insists forgiveness would be impossible here, and if he does mean forgiveness for herself, i don't know why he wouldn't try to correct that misunderstanding.

Aang: So you were just gonna take Appa anyway? Katara: Yes. Aang: It's okay, because I forgive you. [Pauses.] That give you any ideas?

this might actually be my least favorite part of the episode. while it is generally not nice to take a friend's sky bison without permission, it is so genuinely condescending and a false equivalence to even try to compare that to the murder of her mother, particularly because of how smug aang is about his example of forgiving her for it.

also, aang is trying to "give [her] ideas" about what she should do, and it's clear he doesn't blame himself for katara taking appa. he is not forgiving himself here and telling her that’s what she should do. his point is that he's forgiving her and thinks she should do the same. (for the man. who murdered. her mother. and, while we're at it, would have murdered katara herself if he knew the truth. it is just... not the same situation at all.)

Katara: Don't try to stop us. Aang: I wasn't planning to. This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man. [Katara situates herself on Appa's head.] But when you do, please don't choose revenge. Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.

aaaand there we have it.

aang 100% wants and tells katara to forgive her mother's killer. even if you think he also wants her to find healing (which i actually agree he does want for her, but i don't think he expresses it well/in a way that is likely to reach her, and the show acts like he is wise for this regardless) and forgive herself (if he does realize katara needs this, it's not something he expresses), he also very much does absolutely tell katara to forgive her mother's murderer, and that she won't find healing without doing so.

you can agree or disagree with his stance, but that is absolutely the argument he is making, and it’s weird to try to act like it’s not.

and, as i said before, i personally find it reductive. there are things in this world that we should be angry at. there are things people find impossible to forgive. those things may be different for everyone, but they do exist, and that's completely morally neutral. i find the idea that katara has to forgive the man who killed her mother in an act of imperalist violence in order to find healing and inner peace disturbing. no, actually, she doesn't!

this ideology is also very commonly weaponized against abuse survivors in particular, which is a big part of why it is significant that zuko goes with katara on this journey and defends her right not to forgive yon rha, even as he later also respects her decision not to kill him, which shatters the whole false dichotomy of forgiveness vs revenge being presented by aang’s role in the episode.

we don't actually see the talk in which zuko tells aang about what happened, but based on his perspective the whole episode, i very much doubt he framed it as "katara decided to forgive yon rha."

Aang: Zuko told me what you did. Or what you didn't do, I guess. I'm proud of you. Katara: I wanted to do it. I wanted to take out all my anger at him, but I couldn't. I don't know if it's because I'm too weak to do it or because I'm strong enough not to. Aang: You did the right thing. Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing. Katara [Rises from boardwalk.]: But I didn't forgive him. I'll never forgive him.

aang hears about what happened and assumes that because katara didn't kill yon rha, she forgave him, and katara corrects him. she (quite angrily) tells aang that she didn’t forgive yon rha, and she never will. katara knows exactly what aang was telling her to do, and even at the end of the episode, it’s clear she resents it and resents aang being “proud of her” for his assumption.

[bloomingriver]

For those of you who haven’t read my fanfic or don’t have ao3, Here’s chapter one to see if it might be something worth getting into! I’m currently on chapter two, as of right now I’m planning to make it at least 4 chapters.

Lawrence x AFAB Reader Chapter 1

As your mind drifted from thoughts about Lawrence you peaked at the clock again. Only thirty minutes until close now. You were just about to call it a night and close up early whenever the man who'd been in your thoughts shuffled in. He looked more nervous than normal, head down as he approached the counter you always sat at. You smiled genuinely, not the forced customer service smile you were forced to wear with most of your clientele. Seeing him really made you light up, no matter if you were just about to shut down the shop for the night. You had come to realize not very long ago you too enjoyed his company a lot. You couldn't quite place it, but he was different than anyone else you had ever met. Sure, most people found him creepy. Not you though. You thought he was just a little awkward and needed a chance, a push and he would slowly start to come out of his shell.

"Hey Law! Haven't seen you in a while. How've you been?" You asked maybe a little over eagerly. but he didn't seem to mind.

His head turned upwards to face you, yet those crystalline blue eyes still refused to meet yours. With his face that much more visible you could make out he was flustered and sweaty. His skin more pale than usual. You weren't sure if he was that nervous or if he was sick. That could explain his absence... You frowned at the thought. 

"Oh my God! Are you okay? You're not running a fever, are you?" You asked and reached your hand out to rest upon his forehead and check the temperature. You didn't even think about it. The second your skin met his it exploded into a sensation that felt like fireworks where you had connected, just like every time your hands brushed together whenever he would pay only this was so much more intense. He jumped back, startled at the sudden touch. His eyes were wide with surprise and a glimpse of fear that quickly subsided. You felt a little guilty over that and realized how unprofessional it was afterwards. Just as you were about to apologize and ask for his forgiveness, he opened his own mouth to speak. You pursed your lips together and allowed him to continue. He was so softspoken and shy you wanted him to be able to get out whatever he needed to get out. 

"...I'm fine...There is a reason I came here today."

You kept silent, urging him to continue. He looked uncomfortable and uncertain. He fidgeted with the sleeves of his shirt, something you've noticed he anxiously did whenever he had something he wanted to get out. It took him a few times of opening and closing his mouth before he finally found the right words. 

"I've been wondering...If you would like to hangout." He rubbed at the top of his arm nervously and looked to the side. You could tell just from the look on his face how afraid he was that you would say no. How could you ever do that though? You had been waiting for just this moment! That's why as soon as he asked you couldn't help but to jump at the offer. 

"I get off in a few minutes! You work overnight's, right? I can't stay too long but we could hang out then!"

And there you went startling him again. Only this time he didn't jump back, instead he looked like he was thinking things over. 

"O-or another time! I just thought maybe..." You trailed off, not sure the right words to say so that you wouldn't look too desperate. 

His face softened and he smiled gently. The way he smiled at you...You were sure he had to reciprocate these feelings you had.

"...Tonight's fine. Can I text you my address...?" He asked softly. 

Normally you would never hang out with some strange man in the middle of the night at his residence, and yet with him you were more than ready for it. He was awkward but not a lunatic, right? All you had seen from him was gentleness and anxiety, so you were sure that there was no reason to worry. You produced your phone from your pocket and willingly handed it over to him. He took your number and added his own to your contacts happily. After that he handed you back your cellular device and texted you his address. You both awkwardly smiled, clearly excited to finally meet up outside of the shop and sat there in silence for what seemed like too long before h finally broke the moment. 

"I'll see you soon." he said simply before walking away and exiting the building. 

As soon as he was far enough away that you were sure he wouldn't be able to hear you, you squealed happily and kicked your feet like a schoolgirl in the chair you sat in. This had to be a date, and if somehow it wasn't you would turn it into one! With only fifteen minutes until the shop closed you started to do your closing tasks ahead of time, flipping the sign over, counting drawers and the like. Time seemed to drag on with only one thing on your mind.

It wasn’t until you finished that you realized just how quickly you had speed ran through your tasks. Hopefully he would see the effort you put into it. As you locked up for the night you made your way to your car and before you started it you had another thought. The makeup you’d worn all day was a little smeared and just not what you would like for a date, let alone a first date. So you decided to touch it up with some makeup you kept in the car for emergencies. You wanted everything about tonight to go perfectly, so you had to look perfect too. Admittedly you spent longer on this than you had on closing the shop tonight, but one night of rushed work wouldn’t be the end of the world. Once you had finished that up you finally began the short drive towards the address Lawrence had sent you.

Once you arrived you fixed your hair and clothes before quickly making your way into the apartment building, easily finding the number he was assigned. Before you could even knock the door swung open like he’d been watching and waiting for you. You thought for a moment about just how sweet that was before he stepped to the side and allowed you to enter. He looked very nervous, and you too were feeling some butterflies. Looking around the studio apartment you could see his love of all things floral. You couldn’t even say it was decorated with plants, it was almost overran. This was more than a hobby to him, his gardening was a work of passion. How many men did you know who gardened? Let alone had the patience and were so in tune with their nurturing side to care for this many plants?

“Nice place!” You commented as you followed him to the dining room. It didn’t seem he had much room to sit anywhere else, and sitting on his twin sized bed would probably be a little too awkward for now…This seemed to be the best option. Like a gentleman he cautiously pulled out your seat for you. You took it without hesitation, but noticed him hovering for a few moments.

“I’m going to make some tea. Would you like some?” He asked finally.

You nodded your head in agreement, not wanting to deny him the opportunity to be a good host.

“Yeah! Make me whatever you think I’d like!”

He seemed pleased by your answer, offering a smile before going to prepare it. As he did you watched him for a little, then your attention was drawn back to his place. You looked around identifying what plants you could and noticed that other than his plants his home was fairly minimalistic, with no other decorations really. On the old wooden floor you noticed some chips and scratches, nothing really to see there. It was an older building and apartment complexes were notoriously bad for not fixing up things. Close to it was a dark reddish brown spot. You could only guess that someone had spilled some wood stain or paint before deciding not to go through with that color.

“Typical landlords, right?” You scoffed a little trying to joke with Lawrence as he finished up pouring the tea. He seemed confused, and then again nervous whenever you had motioned to the spot. Did he think that you were judging him? You shifted uncomfortably in your seat unsure if you should explain that wasn’t the case.

“Y-yeah… Anyways. It’s ready.”

He sat your cup in front of you, steam rolling off of it as you allowed some time for it to cool down. He was already nursing his cup. Oddly enough his eyes were stuck on you. He never looked at you so directly before. It was both a little uneasy and flattering. He must have really wanted to see if you would like the tea. So rather than allowing more time for it to cool you tentatively brought it to your lips and blew on it a few times. He seemed to be on the edge of his seat as you took your first sip. It was strange, aromatic and a little bit bitter. It wasn’t exactly something you would have picked out for yourself but it wasn’t bad. You smiled and took a longer drink before setting it down on table.

“It’s good!” You assured him. He seemed relieved, relaxing into his seat as his hand caressed his own warm cup. He smiled some too, looking over your features like he was studying them.

“I’m glad you like it…” he trailed off for a moment before continuing. “Thank you… For coming here tonight. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time now.” His confession made his cheeks redden and you could feel your own start to warm up. You were feeling very flushed, more so than you normally would be on a date.

“It’s no problem! I’ve wanted to myself for a while.” The two of you looked at each other with understanding and adoration. The sweet moment was cut short by a pang that felt like a shot gun blasting off in your head. Your vision started to blur and swirl around you. You gripped the table and nearly doubled over.

“Lawrence…! Help!” Was all you could muster up. You hoped he would understand and call someone to come to your aid. It was so sudden and distressful you were sure that it had to be some sort of medical happening. That is at least until you looked up at him. He was walking towards you, but he wasn’t panicked or worried like you’d expected to see. No, instead he was grinning menacingly. It took more time than it should have for you to put together he was the cause but whenever you did you were horrified. Your body collapsed out of the chair it had been sitting on moments before and as he knelt down to you he started to slowly stroke your hair with the back of his hand. Chest racing you met his eyes with fear and sorrow played across your features.

“No…Why?” You whispered through slurred speech at his betrayal.

You don’t know what you were expecting, but you weren’t expecting the next words that came from his lips.

“So we can be together forever {Your Name}!”

And then the world faded to black.

[24hlevi]

— drunk walk home

nico robin (one piece) x gn!reader

genre: fluff

summary: robin helps you back to the ship after a night spent drinking with zoro

warnings: language

wc: 1.2k

you should've known better than to drink on the island with zoro who could drink multiple bottles and hardly be tipsy whereas you drink one and you're on the floor passed out. but, he kept insisting that you needed a reliever, so you listened and went with him. the bar was decent, not a lot of people which you liked, and the drinks were better than you expected. the only downside was the fact zoro kept ordering more rounds for you both, which left you where you are now, stumbling beside him trying to find your way back to the boat.

“do you even know where we're going?” you asked the male, words slurring together as you spoke.

“not a damn clue,” zoro answered, almost falling onto you.

“hey, don't fall on me! i won't be able to drag your ass back to the boat!” you pushed him a little bit.

“are you calling me fat?!” he exclaimed.

“what?! i never said that!” you retorted loudly.

“you did!”

“did not!”

“did!”

“not!”

you pushed zoro again, except this time, you lost your balance in the process and was about to fall face first into the ground until you didn't. you were waiting for the impact that never came, and at first you thought somehow, zoro caught you. but, when you looked up to see who actually did, a smile instantly pulled at your lips.

“robin! you saved me!” you said happily.

“haven't i told you to not go drinking with zoro when we reach an island?” robin asked, pulling you back up to your feet.

“oh it's just one time! i’m completely fine! right zoro?” you responded, turning to look at zoro who was now gone.

“you could hurt yourself, you know,” robin told you.

“but thankfully you were here to save me!” you smiled still, stumbling over your own feet while trying to remain standing still.

one of robin’s hands moved to your waist to steady you in place, noticing your stumbles as she shook her head, “let's head back to the ship,” she said.

“aw fine,” you pouted, starting to walk only to stumble around again.

robin caught you, again, and pulled you closer to her with one of her hands so she could make sure you wouldn't fall. you looked up at her as she led you back to the boat, smiling.

“i’m so glad you stuck around,” you told her randomly.

robin looked down at you with confusion, “what do you mean?” she asked.

“i mean i’m glad you decided to stay with us. i know we can be a handful, but i’m happy you stayed,” you answered, one of your hands reaching for her other free one.

you've had a crush on robin for a while now, but never said anything out of fear despite nami constantly insisting that it would work out fine. little did you know that robin felt the same way and was also struggling with poor nami trying to convince one of you to just confess to the other.

“i’m happy i did too,” robin smiled down at you, watching you fiddle with her hand.

“have i ever told you how you're my favorite?” you said, “but don't tell sanji, he thinks he is.”

one of her eyebrows raised at your words, not being able to tell if this was the truth and was now coming to the surface because of the alcohol, or if it was strictly the alcohol in general. “am i?” she asked.

“yep!” you nodded. “you've always been my favorite since i've met you! i've never told you because of me being a coward even with nami saying that it would be fine but i couldn't! it's just- you're so pretty and i could never stand a chance so i never said anything! i mean, even zoro saw through me earlier tonight! i’m doomed!” you ranted slightly, not entirely realizing what you were saying as you looked down at her hand in yours.

robin suddenly stopped walking, her arm stopping you as well as she looked down at you. “y/n, do you have feelings for me?” she asked.

the look on your face as she asked that question was almost amusing at how you looked like a deer caught in headlights. “oh, well, uhm, i uh, well, yes,” you answered, now feeling dead sober. “oh my gosh i just fucked this up, didn't i?” you asked aloud.

“you didn't mess anything up,” robin said, both of her hands now holding your face. “i have feelings for you too, y/n.” she smiled at you.

now your face looked shocked, “you do?” you asked.

“yes,” she nodded. “i have for a while, and was also speaking with nami on the matter.”

“really?” you asked again, not believing it was true.

robin let out a chuckle and nodded again, “yes,” she told you.

there was a silence that filled around the two of you, and you looked at her with a small smile growing on your face. “can i kiss you?” you asked her.

she didn't reply, but instead leaned forward and kissed you first. your smile instantly grew as you kissed back, your hands moving to wrap around her neck when she pulled away.

“shall we head back to the ship now?” robin asked you.

“if i get to sleep in your bed with you,” you answered.

“of course,” she nodded.

“then yes! let's go back!” you said happily, pointing to the direction of the docks.

robin chuckled and held onto your hand while beginning to walk again towards the ship with you following right beside her with a bright smile on your face.

when the two of you made it back to the ship, somehow zoro found his way back and was already sleeping. nami was awake when she saw you two get on the ship, immediately seeing your hands holding onto each other and she gave a thumbs up with a small smile to robin who was taking you to her room on the boat.

you immediately laid on the bed once you saw it, still smiling lightly as robin situated herself next to you on the bed, looking over at you. you glanced over at her and rolled over onto your side, smiling at her.

“so, does this mean we're like, together now?” you asked her.

“if that's what you want, then sure,” she nodded.

“of course that's what i want,” you told her.

“then we are,” she said, kissing your forehead.

robin then turned the light off and looked back at you, “good night,”

when you didn't respond, she knew you had already fallen asleep and let out a chuckle. she pulled the blanket onto you both and rested her head on the pillow, smiling at your sleeping figure. she could hardly believe this somehow worked, but she was happy that it did. it meant neither of you would have to worry and stress about the other possibly not feeling the same. and that was nice. also for nami to not have to deal with watching you two struggling the whole time. that was also nice for her.