#And I need time to prep for this trip in December | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sunshine-and-christmas-caryls · 3 months ago

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So, I’ve been thinking about some of the plot holes from season 4, and a little of the ones from the series as a whole. And I’ve come up with a few headcanons that help my brain make sense of some things, without actually contradicting (I hope!) something stated in the final season.

Those headcanons rely heavily on the fact that there was a lot not explicitly stated, plus creative license and the “resets” though. 😂 Spoilers below for anyone that is also interested in brainstorming ideas!

Sorting out the timeline:

So after the Kugleblitz, my headcanon is it reset towards middle of April 2018, (for no reason other than it makes the timeline make a little more sense to me). Lila was roughly 1 month pregnant by then, which would have Grace be born somewhere around December 17 +/- a week tops (birthday parties aren’t always on the same day, but for my headcanon, her birthday is the 17th).

That would make her 6th birthday party occur late morning or midday on the 17th of December of 2024 (which is a Tuesday). I’m working with the assumption that Grace is in one of those school districts where they have 1 month off for summer break in June, 1 month off for winter break between December and January, two weeks off for Fall break around October and two weeks off for spring break in March.

Because it seems like the keepers meeting, Viktor’s rescue, and the spiked sake all happened that same day (based on clothing & assuming Lila and Five changed clothes for the keepers meeting, then back into what they were wearing earlier that day).

Then the next day outside the laundromat Diego mentions it’s Wednesday (which would be the 18th). The drive to New Grumpson has to be at minimum 17 hours one way (the road trip had a 1-hour and 3-hour time skip before Luthor mentioned that there were only 13 hours left to New Grumpson). But it was likely longer than that, because I don’t know how long it takes to get from the laundromat onto the highway that the overhead shot of Wanda establishes (it could be as quick as 10 minutes or up to 2+ hours depending on if they’re in the city or the suburbs, how populated it is, and how bad the traffic is at the time they leave) and I don’t know how long a stop they would need to get and cover the broken windows and -assumedly- clean the vomit out of the car floor.

Then they drive overnight and get into New Grumpson on December 19th, and after escaping they’re at the repair shop for Wanda at 3 pm, assumedly that same day.

In episode 4 Jennifer mentions that she and Ben met roughly 36 hours ago, and it was bright out. When Ben rescued her in episode 3 it was dark out. Also in ep. 3, Reginald mentioned that it could take “hours, or even days” to get the mind machine up and running.

So, I take that to mean that everyone back at the Hargreeves mansion probably met up the night of the 20th to talk to Reginald and Abigail. Then maybe they stayed overnight, (and had their clothes laundered + a shower!😆) whilst Reginald prepped the machine. Also on the 21st, Klaus is kidnapped sometime midday or afternoon, and Ben rescued Jennifer in the evening.

The machine is ready and run the morning of the 22nd, Ben and Jennifer have their conversation, and then they arrive at Jean and Gene’s farm and find all the damage Ben left. Episode 4 ends with Viktor and Reginald in the diner, Klaus buried at night, and Ben and Jen in the motel; so episode 5 would take place on the 23rd.

Five and Lila could have left the night of the 22nd and returned midday/ in the afternoon of the 23rd. But I headcanon that they left the morning of the 23rd, because Five mentions it’s only been a few hours since they left (I’m pretending the scenes are just shown out of order so they didn’t just have the focus on Five and Lila for half an hour straight). I’m also taking creative license to say that for whatever the reason Diego either doesn’t have a suit, or his suit didn’t fit him and that’s why he borrows one from Luther’s coworker.

Then the rest of the season finishes out by the end of the night on the 23rd. (I’m thinking they were all at Lila’s house for dinner after the craziness of the past few days, and when Diego said “Not during Christmas” he meant it in the general sense of being close to Christmas time, not that it actually was that day). The reset from the cleanse brought us to where the timeline was supposed to be, which was when the show aired on August 8, 2024.

Summary Timeline:

-Lila 1 month pregnant when the reset occurs.

-April 2018: Hotel Oblivion reset

-December 17, 2018: Grace born

-December 17, 2024: Grace birthday party

-December 18: drive to New Grumpson

-Dec 19, late morning- midday: arrive in New Grumpson

-Dec 19 at 3pm: Wanda is getting repaired

-Dec 20: family meets up at the Hargreeves mansion.

-Dec 21: Klaus kidnapped, Ben rescues Jennifer in the evening.

-Dec 22: Memories are restored and the group finds the attacked alpaca farm

-Dec 23: Lila & Five return, Ben & Jen merge, and the Cleanse resets the universe

[It could also work if the Oblivion reset to April of 2019, but the drive to New Grumpson would have needed to take two days (for them to arrive on the 19th) or you go with the assumption that New Grumpson is a small town and they put the flier up sometime before the 19th in order to garner attention, and all the subsequent dates get pushed back by one (arrive on the 18th, Cleanse on the 22, etc).]

So that’s my headcanon to make sense of the timeline. It’s far from perfect, not least of which because their clothes don’t change much and I play fast and loose with a lot of the details, but it’s the best I’ve got to make it make sense. 😂

A few other head canons I have:

- Jen is from a different timeline and she got pulled into this one & accidentally appeared in a giant squid. Reginald erased her memories of anything related to the cleanse shortly after her squid introduction scene.

- The subway was made from the creator of the universe, but various Fives helped to make certain parts (like the deli or the Commission) and the map & notebook which they left for other Fives. It’s out of space/ time and each stop is a reflection of the timeline (old & broke down = apocalypse already happened, or the severity of the apocalypse). It’s got openings naturally (think season 3 when Reginald spots the door) throughout all the universes, which is why small animals, objects, etc occasionally make it into the subway system. But Five’s power is what momentarily summons the nice little entryway into the subway.

- The Oblivion reset took the closest matching timeline and then pulled in people/ things that were customized by Reginald (& Allison’s requests). This is based off Klaus saying Allison “set up this whole timeline, and stole her daughter from another one” in the deleted scene of him at Grace’s birthday party.

- Allison had requested her brothers all got to stay family and that she could have both Claire and Ray. That’s why Reginald had set Luthor’s death to be undone & he appears with everyone at the closing scene in season 3.

- Claire was from a different, but nearly identical timeline as the one set up by the reset, which is why she looks or actually is older. (In season 1 she was only 4 years old, right? So she should be about 9/10, but in season 4 she looks like she’s somewhere between 13-15)

- Ray is not the same one she was in the 60s with; he was born and grew up in a more modern era and as such his personality is different than it was. OR he is the same one from the 60s but he’s been pulled into this new timeline and is struggling to reconcile the Allison he knew in 60s with the one she is in the modern era and all she has done. One of those is the underlying basis for why he left, and I also headcanon he was Claire’s stepfather.

- Reginald’s customization points included Abigail being alive, and the marigold never being released. Allison killed him before he “pressed go” so to speak, but he had already input all/ most of the settings, so either his death was reset to fit into the timeline and he’s Sparrow Reginald, or the timeline was built off a universe that he didn’t release the marigold and it pulled that Reginald into this timeline.

- The 43 immaculate births would all have happened naturally in their own time (different birthdays). The moms all were kissed at the time of inhalation of the marigold that caused their conception, and the marigold gave life to them by taking DNA from both people to form the body of the babies and accelerate their births.

- Sparrow Ben stayed because Allison asked for Ben to be alive and the universe reset just kept Sparrow Ben to meet that criteria. Sloane was not specifically asked to stay together by Reginald or Allison so she ends up the same way other “immaculate births” kids did and was born into a family normally, which is why, if she had been found, she wouldn’t remember any of the umbrellas or sparrows.

- The Hotel Oblivion reset also erased/altered memories that people had in order to fit into this timeline, which is why there’s so many keepers. Additionally, it either accelerated or worsened the different universes bleeding into each other. It also input a “background” for all the Umbrellas which is why they all had homes/ IDs/ etc. (They could then choose to keep with what they had or switch from there.)

- Five’s background included making him older then he physically was so that he didn’t have to go through high school, or he wasn’t “aged up on paper” but took a GED and went straight to college before getting into the CIA.

- Lila’s family was from a different timeline and have mixed memories like some of the keepers. She and Diego end up talking to them closer to the five or six year mark about everything. And that’s why the ask so many questions to Klaus in the deleted scene.

- Lila wasn’t formally working with the CIA. She found out about & went undercover with the keepers of her own accord and was only “working with the CIA” once she and Five started to collaborate. OR she was formally working with them, but under a different sector that wasn’t headed by a keeper.

- The first year after the Oblivion reset, all the siblings were in the same general vicinity of each other and they all met up again at least once to talk with this world’s Reginald about what happened, which is why they knew their births were a product of the marigold, what the marigold even looks like, who they are in this universe, etc. Also, because Allison asked that her family all be in this universe, maybe they were all adopted by Reginald in this timeline too but are “estranged” from their father. And Abigail find out later that these were alternate versions which is why she never met them before this season but knew them? Or she was newly appeared in this timeline too and Reginald just filled her in on the details.

- little girl on the bike = creator/ God

- Abigail had died but was brought back because of the reset. Whilst dead she spoke to the creator/ little girl who told her about the cleanse.

- The Marigold creates, the Durango destroys, and when mixed together it does both, hence “resetting” the universe. They also react somewhat to intention, but are like a computer program or a genie/ jinn. You technically get what you ask for, but it’s not how you wanted it or it’s not quite what you thought it would be, and that’s why none of them were truly happy at the start of season 4. And it’s also why their moms got pregnant and they just regained (if slightly differently) their powers.

- The ending meant one of the following:

- 1) The cleanse really did fix everything and so the universe was reset to what the timeline should have been, which is our world as we know it. The idyllic field with everyone was heaven/ the void/ wherever it’s called that Klaus goes to, and the siblings plus Lila were reduced down to marigold flowers from the effort of the reset. Which is why the kids were able to exist without a kugelblitz forming, and why we see so many people from the original or previous timelines (they would all have already been dead without the marigold in the world).

- 2) the cleanse, did not in fact, fix everything, perhaps because it missed the guy Klaus splashed with the shot he never took. So it erased our umbrella academy and their kids, but we see the kids from the naturally born versions of themselves had they been born & the marigold hadn’t existed. But because it didn’t fix everything the remnants of their marigold resprouted as marigold flowers, leaving room for them to come back in the future or for new super-powered kids/ people to emerge.

So while there’s a ton of holes still, that’s what I came up with to make sense of some things that weren’t really explained in the final season. I’m curious to know what other might have come up with though, if any one wants to let me know what they think/ headcanon!

#tua season 4 spoilers #tua headcanons #making the TUA timeline make sense #TUA theories #TUA canon compliant theories #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy season 4 spoilers and theories #TUA spoilers #tua season 4

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helpinghanikan · 11 months ago

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Domestic December: COD

Day 16: Ghost, Camping

DD Masterlist

There’s zero chance of having a basic romantic get away with Ghost. He doesn’t find places with a lot of foot traffic all that relaxing. So, forget Paris or Hawaii. Maybe he’ll agree to New York for a show but not if you’re spending more than a night.

It’s the more out of the way places that he prefers. This is specifically referring to camping, but not just any camping. The real kind of camping where you carry in your own stuff and won’t have service for the whole weekend.

Whether it’s your dream or nightmare, Ghost loves it.

Maybe a mile or two into the woods he’ll lose his face covering. He’ll do it Audrey while a few steps ahead of you. As if his mask wasn’t nearly as important as you both knew it was.

That’s when your trip can really start.

Every now and then you take a glance at his face. Looking away just as quickly, as if he might disappear under the mask again. Like respectful strangers you set up camp in silence. The drive in was long, and the hike was longer. By the time you got the tent up, and Ghost had the fire going, the stars were starting to peek out.

“It’s meal prep tonight, tomorrow I’ll get us something real.” He explains while cooking over your fire.

Whatever the food was you were undoubtably going to drown it in butter and pepper. Ghost wasn’t cruel enough to make you eat military rations, but he was mean enough to have it ready just in case.

As with most things you let him come to you. Handing over a plate and taking a seat right next to you. The night was cold, but the fire and your man’s body heat kept the chill away.

“I’ll be gone before you wake up. Be back a little after sunrise but I’m not going far.” He explains as if his hunting wasn’t a tradition on these trips.

Supposedly Ghost used to hunt big game like wolves and bears. Considering his career it wasn’t a stretch but hunting animals that were close to being endangered seemed almost stupid. Especially if it were just to come off as sounding tough.

That being said he did come back every morning with rabbits or some kind of fowl. He’d probably bring in a deer if you let him.

“When you get back we should go to the lake. I brought my swimsuit, and yours.” You add, leaning into his warmth. Plate forgotten and wanting something more than just a basic meal. “As if we need them?” He says, arm around your shoulders and squeezing you tight.

#reader insert #domestic december #x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley imagine #fluff #domestic fluff

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something-tofightfor · 1 year ago

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Red, White and True

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Female Reader (Life is Good pairing)

Word Count: 9915

Rating: M. There’s some smutty parts, but nothing explicit. Lots and lots of feelings though.

Summary: Almost a year after you first met Frankie and his friends, you’ve decided to spend the 4th in Florida with him.

Everything goes to plan - until it doesn’t - and you and Frankie are forced to adapt in real time.

Author’s note: This was supposed to be a stupid short piece about you and Frankie watching fireworks together ... and here we are 10k later.

I’ve really missed these two, and it was fantastic to get back to them. This references things from Life Is Good, but I guess you could read it as a standalone and just have zero context.... if you really wanted to.

If you want to read that first: Life Is Good Masterlist

Thank you for reading!

“I’ve got something to tell you, and you’re not gonna like it.” Glancing up from where you were slicing fruit on a large cutting board, you eyed Frankie as he stepped into the sunny kitchen. What? I’m not going to like what? “That phone call was rom Evie. We’re going to have to change plans today because I need to pick up Elijah.”

“What?” Fingers tightening around the knife handle, you tilted your head to one side. “Why? Is everything alright?” He set the phone down on the countertop and moved to stand next to you, reaching for one of the cut pieces of watermelon and lifting it to his lips. He’s not hysterical, so… “Frankie?”

“They were at her moms for the day, and I guess Estella had one drink too many and tripped.” He sighed. “She fell in the back yard and hurt her leg, so Evie’s gotta take her to the ER, and doesn’t want to have Elijah sitting in the waiting room with her for hours…” He trailed off, frowning. “So I’m sorry, but my 4th of July is now going to include keeping an eye on my kid, and -”

“I hope she’s ok.” You went back to what you were doing, the knife slicing quickly through the remaining fruit. “I only need a couple more minutes to finish this, and then I have to change my shirt.” He stayed quiet, though, and you wondered what he was waiting for. Does he think I’m going to be mad? “Frankie, kid or not I’m still going to get to spend the day with you. And I was supposed to meet him later this week anyway, so moving things up a couple days is …” You shrugged. “Unexpected, but as long as Evie’s alright with it even though she hasn’t met me, it changes nothing.”

Finishing with the watermelon, you grabbed for the container of already prepped fruit and put it under the lip of the counter. You used the blade to pull the chunks from the cutting board and in to mix with the others, juice dripping over the edge, too. He stayed quiet, though you could feel him shifting back and forth beside you. Are you really that worried? When Frankie mumbled your name a few seconds later, you turned your head to look in his direction. “Are you sure? You know the guys, you could always go by yourself and he and I can -”

“Francisco.” Setting the plastic bowl and the knife down, you turned to face him. “I’m positive. It wasn’t like we planned on getting wasted, right? We’re going over there for a cookout and to hang out. I haven’t seen them since December. All of them know Elijah.” You shrugged again. “You’re worrying too much.”

He stared at you wordlessly and then nodded, reaching out and sliding a hand around your waist to pull you closer. “Alright. I told her I’d pick him up from the hospital, and the one they’re going to is only about fifteen minutes from here, so…” He wet his lips. “We can leave in about ten, if that works for you.”

It would be cutting it close - and it meant that you couldn’t cut the pineapple into star shapes like you planned - but you knew it didn’t matter. “Yeah. Yeah, that works for me.”

—

As the two of you headed for the hospital, you let your thoughts wander.

It was your second trip to Florida, and the fourth time you’d seen Frankie in person since you’d left Virginia Beach. He’d visited Colorado in fall and spring, and you’d gone to see him for a few days in winter. But in terms of the actual amount of time you’d spent together, your relationship was still new.

Things had continued between you from the moment you’d gone your separate ways in Virginia. To your surprise, it had been just as intense with thousands of miles between you as it was with only a fence separating your vacation houses.

Over video chat and lengthy phone calls, you’d gotten to know each other better, Frankie telling you more about his past and his personal life and you filling him in on the more mundane details of your life and career.

It wasn’t a relationship like any you’d ever had before - and the distance wasn’t ideal, especially with as much as you liked Frankie. And as much as he seems to like me. You sighed, blinking twice as you reached for the volume knob on the radio. He spoke without taking his eyes off the road, Frankie reaching up to scratch at his cheek. “You like this song?” Yeah, and it’s too quiet in this truck.

“I do.” You didn’t know what else to say - or why Frankie’s mood had changed so much since getting the call, but there was a definite chill in the cab of his truck … and you didn’t like it. “Frankie I’m going to need you to tell me what’s going on here. What changed? Everything was fine this morning and then Evie called, and -”

“This is what happens when you have a kid.” He sighed, bringing the truck to a stop at a red light. “Plans have to change and sometimes things don’t work out, and you always have to be ready to handle any kind of … thing that comes up.” He turned toward you, the sunglasses he wore obscuring his eyes, though you could imagine what the look in them was. “You don’t have kids, so you’re not used to it, and it doesn’t happen a lot with Elijah, but it will happen. And I don’t want you to get the idea that this is a one time thing, or -”

“Frankie, your son comes first.” You scoffed, cautiously reaching for him. “Always. And anyone that doesn’t think that it should be that way is wrong.” Laying your hand on his knee, you squeezed. “I won’t lie. I’ve never dated anyone with a kid before, and it’s going to take some getting used to to have a little boy around, but…” You sighed. “You told me about him first thing. I decided I wanted to get to know you. I knew this was coming. You might not have him all the time, but you’re a package deal. I know that.”

You knew that he didn’t believe you - knew that he’d need to see you interact with Elijah more than once before he trusted that you weren’t just saying what you thought he wanted to hear. And it’ll take more than this trip. But that’s fine. “If it’s too much for you, I need to know.” You were moving again, following the flow of traffic as you turned onto a different street. “And I need to know the truth, because no matter how much I like you, he’s…”

“I know.” You squeezed his leg, nodding. “But you need to give me a chance, Frankie. Today caught us both by surprise, but it’s not fair for you to just assume that I won’t … that this kind of adapting isn’t going to be something I want.”

He didn’t say anything else until a few minutes later when you pulled into the parking lot of the hospital.

Frankie guided the truck into an empty spot close to the entrance, swearing under his breath at how packed the lot was. He turned the radio back down, fingers lingering on the knob. “You can stay in here, and I’ll go grab him. No reason for both of us to go into that madhouse.” He sighed. “This isn’t how I wanted you to meet him, and I -”

“Hey.” Shifting so that you could look at him, you reached up, cupping his cheek in one hand. “It’ll be fine. You can save the introduction until we get to Pope’s if you want, that way we won’t be meeting over the headrest of a car.” That got a tiny smile from him, Frankie nodding before rolling his neck out.

“Won’t be long.” He leaned in, lips landing on your cheek. “Don’t go anywhere.”

You laughed at that, assuring him that you wouldn’t. As soon as he was out of the truck, you reached for your phone, opening Instagram and beginning to scroll. Your friends were at celebrations of their own - Paige and Jordan hanging out together, Taylor spending time with her boyfriend’s family. You opened your group message and sent a quick text out to them - Happy 4th from Florida! Everyone be safe today and don’t do anything that’ll require Jordan’s medical assistance! - before going back to your social media and thumbing at the screen.

You understood Frankie’s hesitation. If you were being honest, it made you care more for him. There were plenty of men that would have been pissed that their plans had to change last minute. There were others that would have refused to pick their child up because it wasn’t their scheduled time. But Frankie hadn’t reacted either of those ways - and that said a lot. Because he loves his son. And he -

A knock at the window startled you, your fingers closing around your phone as you turned your head toward the sound. Oh, shit. You weren’t able to stop your involuntary intake of breath, or the widening of your eyes at the sight of the woman standing just outside, but you hoped she’d understand. She’s gorgeous.

You knew what Evie looked like.

You’d seen pictures of her and Frankie and of her and Elijah in the year that you’d known the man. But seeing her standing in front of you was a different story. It didn’t shock you that even in the parking lot of a hospital’s emergency room, the woman looked put together and poised. With a pang of understanding, you got exactly what had drawn Frankie to her in the first place.

Setting your phone down, you held up one finger and then reached over, unlocking the windows from Frankie’s side of the truck. Once that was done, you pushed the button to lower the glass on your side, reaching up to remove your sunglasses in the same motion. “Evie.”

She paused before she said your name, one hand rising to grip the strap of the bag that was hanging over her shoulder. “Hi.” It was awkward - just about as awkward as any first meeting between you could have gone, and you didn’t know how to change that.

“Do you want me to get out of the truck? I don’t… I wasn’t expecting to…”

“No.” She actually smiled at your question, her head shaking back and forth. “This won’t take long, and I have to get back inside.”

“I hope your mom’s alright.” You winced, nose wrinkling. “And that whatever she did when she fell doesn’t need surgery.” The woman rolled her eyes, taking a breath.

“I’m sure she’s fine. She can still walk so I don’t think she broke her hip, but…” Evie looked back at you, nodding. “Thank you. Thank you for saying that.” The woman went silent then, eyeing you, but you didn’t see any of the things you’d expected to see from her in the expression. She just looks … nervous. “I loved him. I loved him very much, but I knew …” She sighed again, shaking her head. “I know it wasn’t going to be enough, and by the time Elijah was born, we both knew that we were better off as friends, even though we pretended that wasn’t the truth for a while.”

“I… he told me …” You didn’t know what to say, and the woman’s honesty had taken you by surprise. “He said you were together for a few years, but that he wasn’t … he wasn’t his best self during those years, and … that it wasn’t fair to you.” Evie nodded, reaching out to settle one hand on the side of Frankie’s truck.

“It wasn’t fair to either of us, to be honest. But he had to change because he wanted to, not because I needed him to.” You took a breath at her admission, holding it when she continued. “Frankie deserves to find someone that will make him happy, and if that’s you, that’s great. The only thing I’m really worried about is my son. I would have preferred to talk with you for more than a few minutes before you met him, but …” She closed her eyes. “But Frankie’s known you for a year now, hasn’t had anything bad to say, and based on what I found when I looked at your profiles … I think it’s alright for you to hang out with my kid for a couple hours before you and I have an actual conversation.” Oh, that’s a relief.

“Thank you for trusting me.” You curled your hand into a loose fist the bite of your nails into your palm keeping you focused., lips pressed together. “And I’ve told Frankie ever since he even brought up the idea of me meeting Elijah that I wanted to meet you first. I don’t have kids of my own, but I can imagine how nerve wracking it can be to let them spend time with someone you don’t know, especially when one of their parents is in a new relationship.”

“A year isn’t new.” She laughed. “And from what he’s told me, you guys hit it off quick, so just because you haven’t been physically together that long doesn’t mean it’s any less a relationship.” She sighed, releasing a long breath. “He deserves to be happy. And if you make him happy, I’m not going to stop you from getting to know Elijah. But just … do me a favor, alright?” She put her other hand on the edge of the open window, locking eyes with you. “Don’t do what I did and try and force things to work out. Frankie’s really emotional, even though he doesn’t like to admit it, and he takes things hard. So if you’re not all the way in … don’t pretend to be. He deserves more than that.”

“I…” You shivered, despite the warm air coming in through the window. She needs to know. “I’m in, Evie. I wouldn’t have agreed to meeting Elijah if I wasn’t. It’s a big deal to me, too.” She nodded twice and then smiled, pointing at the back seat.

“I’m going to put his bag in there and then go inside. Frankie’s keeping my mom company right now, so I’m sure he’s ready to be done with that.” She opened the door and reached in, dropping the backpack onto the empty space next to the car seat. “Oh, fruit? Perfect. Elijah loves pineapple.” She straightened up, nodding at you one more time. “Give him some of that and you’ll be his best friend for the day.”

Evie surprised you then by sticking her hand out, waiting for you to take it. As you shook, you tried to come up with something to say, but couldn’t. How do I follow that up? What do you say to the mother of your boyfriend’s child in the parking lot of a hospital? After a few seconds, you settled on something. “It was nice to meet you, but I wish it was under different circumstances. Maybe … maybe later this week, we can -”

“Oh, we can.” She grinned, her expression changing to one of amusement. “And we will.”

She said goodbye and then turned back toward the building, leaving you alone once again. Holy shit that was … something. You rolled the window up and then stared straight ahead, trying to focus. That wasn’t what I expected. Not at all.

You could tell that the woman still cared about Frankie, but unless she was an incredible actress, you hadn’t gotten any indication of jealousy or intent to sabotage when you’d talked. And that’s good. That’s good because -

The back door of the truck opened, and when you turned to look, you watched as Frankie set a little boy down and into the car seat. “He’s sleeping.” The man’s voice was low. “Fell asleep while we were waiting, so hopefully he’ll stay that way til we get to Pope’s.”

You watched in the rearview mirror as Frankie carefully buckled his son in, checking the straps twice before he was satisfied. He shut the door quietly and then circled around to the driver’s side, sliding back into the seat next to you. “All good?” You murmured the words, head turned toward him. Instead of answering, though, Frankie pulled the hat from his head and leaned in, his lips finding yours and lingering.

“All good.” He kissed you again and then sat up, buckling his seatbelt. “You ready to see the guys?” A single nod was enough confirmation for him, and moments later, the two of you were heading back for the main road - Frankie’s fingers laced with yours, both hands resting on his thigh.

—

From the minute you got to the party you were occupied. Frankie and Elijah got dragged off toward the inside of the house by Pope’s sister, while the man himself wrapped you in a hug and pulled you out and onto the back patio, one arm slung around your shoulders.

You spent the first twenty minutes greeting the people that you hadn’t seen in months and getting introduced to some that you’d never met. Benny then pulled you away from Pope, leading you over to where the food and drinks were set up. There, you got roped into a conversation with Tom’s daughter and his ex, the shade of the overhead tent blocking out the sun so that none of you were squinting to shield your eyes.

It felt good to be so accepted into an already established group of friends and family, but after a little while, you found that you missed Frankie. Tightening your grip on the can of seltzer that Ironhead had pushed into your hand, you excused yourself from the conversation and turned back toward the house.

You were rewarded with the sight of Frankie stepping out through the patio door, the little boy once again supported by one of the man’s strong arms. Their prolonged absence made sense once you saw that both of them had changed - Frankie without his hat and wearing a pair of swim trunks that you recognized as Pope’s from the previous summer, and the little boy in a tiny pair of his own, along with a t-shirt that was covered in multicolored stars.

Elijah was wearing Frankie’s aviators, the lenses dwarfing his rounded cheeks, and so you were able to catch the look in the man’s eyes when he caught your gaze. Oh, Frankie. You watched as his lips twitched and then he started to speak, tilting his head down to talk into the child’s ear. The arm he wasn’t using to support the boy’s weight rose, one finger pointed in your direction.

When Elijah turned his head to look at you, the sunglasses slipped down his nose - and you couldn’t stop the laugh that poured out of your mouth at the sight. Oh, he looks just like him. You took a sip of your drink and then set the can down, taking a few cautious steps toward the pair as they moved closer to you.

“Hey, you.” Frankie spoke first, the three of you meeting just off to the right of the patio and out of the way of most of the people that were walking around the yard. “Somebody woke up from their nap and wanted to come to the party.”

“Yeah?” You smiled again, your gaze dropping from Frankie’s face to his son’s. “Well it’s a good party, so I’m not surprised. Hi, Elijah.” Frankie’s chuckle was full of warmth, and when the man cleared his throat, you knew what was coming next. Ok. Ok, this is …

“Lij, this is daddy’s friend. Can you say hi?” There was no reason to be nervous - you were being introduced to an almost three year old that probably wouldn’t remember you the next time you visited Florida, but it was Frankie’s three year old - and you wanted him, at the very least, not to burst into tears at the sight of you.

“Hi.” It was quiet and accompanied with a quick wave, but you watched as Frankie relaxed at the sound, his free hand rising to pull the sunglasses from the kid’s nose and place them back on his own face. You’d seen plenty of pictures, but seeing the two of them together made your chest tight. I need to see more baby pictures of Frankie. They look … wow. Elijah turned his chin up toward Frankie, the wide smile turning into a frown. “‘Wimming?”

“Yeah, bud. We can go swimming.” Swimming? Where? There’s no pool. Frankie reached for you then, taking your hand and linking your fingers together as you crossed the yard and rounded the corner of the house. “Santi’s got a couple nieces and nephews so he has a kiddie pool set up over here.”

There was a kiddie pool, but it was unlike anything you’d ever seen before. Inflated and only a few inches deep, it was divided into smaller sections. One had a sprinkler in the shape of a dinosaur, another featured a small slide and the third was just water, though there were a few pool toys floating in it. There were two other kids already splashing around, and the closer you got, the squirmier Elijah became until Frankie set him down.

You watched as the little boy pulled his shirt off, dropping it onto the ground and then ran toward the inflatable, his laugh loud when he came into contact with the water for the first time. “Watch him for a second?” Frankie spoke into your ear, his lips hovering. “Gonna go grab a couple chairs.”

You nodded, eyes on the pool where the three kids were calf-deep in water, and then Frankie was gone, leaving you alone with your thoughts. The other adults that were gathered around the pool were deep in conversation, though you saw them glance at the water every few seconds, making sure that their kids were safe and having fun. You tried to relax, too, smiling as Elijah plopped down and began swishing the water around with both hands.

“He loves the damn water.” Frankie was behind you again, dragging a pair of chairs with one hand, the other carrying two unopened cans. “You should see him in my pool with his little floaties. He’s going to start lessons when he turns 3, but he won’t need ‘em for long.”

You took a seat, Frankie settling next to you and handing over one of the cans - the same thing you’d been drinking earlier - before cracking his open. “He looks just like you, Frankie. The pictures don’t … it’s uncanny.” He laughed, tipping his head back as he took a long drink. “But it’s good that he likes water. I’m sure there’s a lot to do down here that involves water.”

“There is. Most of the kids I grew up with learned to swim real early. Lessons are a good way to make friends, too. I know he’s still young, but … never hurts, right?” You agreed, sipping from the can you held, the condensation running down and over your fingers. “I’m sorry about Evie. She basically told me that was happening whether I wanted it to or not, and -”

“Don’t apologize, she was nice. And I get it. She wanted to meet the woman that was going to be spending the afternoon with her son. I don’t blame her.” You shifted in your chair, turning your attention to him. “She didn’t scare me off, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“What about this? Does this scare you?” He gestured to the scene in front of you - Elijah holding a squishy ball in one hand and slapping it against the surface of the water while Pope’s relatives played nearby. “Because -” Tell him the truth.

“It does.” You swallowed hard, nodding. “It scares me, Frankie, but not away.” He frowned, the furrow of his brow deepening as he stared at you. “He’s not my son, but he’s yours. He’s a little guy, so right now, he needs a lot from you and his mom and the other adults in his life. And… as of today, I’m one of those adults, just like your other friends.” Well, not just like them, but … Bringing a hand up to grip the back of your neck, you nodded. “I won’t ever try and overstep, but if I’m around and you need help, I’m here.” You raised your can in a mock salute. “I have no idea what the hell I’m doing, but I’m here.”

You took a long drink as he laughed, one of his large hands settling on your knee. “Nobody knows what they’re doing at first. I appreciate that, though.” Frankie gestured to the pool. “Pope’s niece Mia is only 4, and her brother Lucas is going to be 5. It’s nice to have a couple kids his age around when we come to things like this or do family shit.”

He’d reiterated how close he and Pope were in the months you’d known him - explained that the Garcias considered Frankie family. I’m glad Elijah has that, too.

“That’s how it was for me and Jordan.” You nodded, eyes drifting over the back yard and locking in on Pope, the man laughing with a small group of people and Tom near the grill. “Our parents were friends, so we’d always see each other at birthday and holiday parties and stuff. We sat next to each other in kindergarten and I had my first sleepover at her house when we were seven, and we never looked back.” He hummed in agreement, Frankie’s thumb moving slowly over the inside of your knee. “Mia’s gonna have mini versions of you and Pope looking out for her… I feel bad for any boys that try and get close.”

“We’ve already talked about that, so you’re not the first to mention it.” Frankie leaned forward, gesturing at one of the women on the other side of the pool - Pope’s sister - with his can. “Lex and I were really close growing up, and when everything happened between me an’ Evie, she and her husband helped out a lot when I had no idea what I was doing.” He sighed. “Everyone helped, actually. And I don’t know what I would have done without -”

“Daddy!” Your attention went to the pool, where Elijah was standing and staring at both of you, his arms held out. Frankie moved right away, leaning forward and setting the can on the ground between your chairs before he stood, walking to he pool and crouching down.

You watched them for a few seconds, focused on the way his shoulders moved beneath the thin fabric of his tee shirt, muscles flexing as he reached forward and splashed the water with one hand. With the other, he pushed his sunglasses up to rest atop his head - and then Frankie went for the water with both hands, Elijah sitting back down and laughing as his father began to create small waves that rolled over his legs and against his belly. Why am I still sitting here?

Pushing to your feet, you closed the distance between where you were sitting and the pool, kneeling next to Frankie and putting one hand on his back to let him know you were there. Here goes nothing. “This looks fun. Am I allowed to play with you?” Frankie’s head turned slightly toward you, and even over the sound of the party, you heard the sound of him whispering your name in surprise. “Do you want to play, Elijah?”

There were a few tense seconds of waiting but then the little boy started laughing again, leaning closer and smacking the surface of the water to send a splash in your direction. Ok, this is a good start.

—

An hour and a half later, the three of you were sitting at one of the tables with food in front of you. You’d delighted Elijah when you’d asked if he wanted pineapple with his lunch, Frankie looking on in surprise as his son enthusiastically agreed to the food you offered, the sticky juice dripping down his arm as he inhaled it before he even touched anything else.

The little boy sat on Frankie’s lap as he ate, chowing down on chicken tenders and macaroni and cheese, and you were shocked at how easy it was to be around dad-Frankie after only really knowing him as the man you’d met him in Virginia.

The guys came up and talked to you in turn, each of them sitting down and saying hello to Elijah first. He was enamored by Benny, the kid’s laughter turning into a shriek as the younger Miller plopped his hat down onto the tiny head, angling it back so that he could still see from beneath the brim. You laughed too, clearing your plate and Frankie’s to give them a chance to talk - and yourself a chance to take a breather as you headed inside of the house to use the bathroom.

You gave yourself a few minutes to breathe, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator and then leaning up against the counter to look out the window at the back yard. This is going well. It could be so much worse, and awkward, and - “There you are.” Frankie stepped behind you, winding both arms around your body and settling his chin on your shoulder. “Needed a break?”

“Yeah.” You closed your eyes, melting into his hold. “Not from you, just from the heat. And the noise, I -” He urged you to turn around, hands staying at your waist. “Frankie?”

“Are you having a good time?” He frowned, lower lip jutting out in a pout. “Did you eat enough? Do you need a drink?” You couldn’t help it - the laugh that you let out loud as you moved forward and rested your head against his chest, both hands going to his shoulders.

“Frankie, yes. I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.” Leaning back so that you could meet his eyes, your smile widened. “Are you having a good time?” Instead of answering, Frankie nodded, tilting his head to the side and angling it to kiss you. “I’ll take this as a -”

He cut you off mid-sentence, his lips soft against yours. You moved your arms to wind around his neck and Frankie pulled you closer in the same moment that he stepped forward, your lower back hitting the edge of the counter. “I’m glad you’re here.” He mumbled the words between kisses, running the tip of his nose alongside yours. “So goddamn glad you -”

“In my kitchen? Really, ‘Fish?” Peeking past Frankie, you saw Pope leaning in the doorway, both arms crossed over his chest. “And you’re right in front of the window, too.” The three of you burst out laughing, Frankie kissing you once more before he let go and turned to face his friend. “Your phone was ringing, by the way. You left it on the table.” Ah, shit. Frankie nodded, thanking Pope as he stepped away from you and then headed back outside, leaving you and the other man in the kitchen.

“Food was great, Pope.” Clearing your throat, you crossed your arms, too. “Thank you for grilling.”

“I do it every year.” He moved closer, hopping up to sit on the counter next to you. “‘Fish helps sometimes, but he didn’t want to leave you with Elijah ten minutes after you met him, so…” He sighed. “Tom was an acceptable substitute today.” You laughed at that, but didn’t know what else to say. I would have kept an eye on the kid, I just … he didn’t ask. “Are you guys coming to the fireworks?” Pope pushed off the counter and opened the fridge, reaching for a beer. “And do you want one of these?”

You’d only had one full drink and the few sips of the first so you agreed, taking the cold bottle from him with a quiet thank you. “I’m not sure. He mentioned it the other day, but I don’t know what time bedtime is, so we’ll probably be back at Frankie’s pretty early.” You hadn’t even thought about it before then, but at the realization, it was difficult to keep from wincing. I haven’t had to think about a kid’s bedtime since …

“We’re gonna head out on the boat around 7.” Pope looked down, checking his watch. “So a couple hours to figure it out.” Boat? What boat? “Oh, he didn’t tell you?” Pope’s grin widened, the man winking at you. “I hope you get to come.” Turning and heading out of the kitchen, he paused in the doorway again, looking over his shoulder and holding up one finger to accentuate his point. “Not in my kitchen, though.”

That made you laugh, and when you stepped back out into the sunshine a few minutes later, you were still laughing, flipping a casual middle finger at Pope as you passed him. He blew you a kiss, unable to keep a straight face. When you finally reached Frankie again, the man sitting in one of the lawn chairs he’d pulled over by the pool earlier, you were smiling, though the laughter had subsisted. “Frankie? Wh -”

He turned his head so that you could see that he was on the phone, and you immediately went quiet, lowering yourself into the chair next to him and searching for Elijah. The little boy was stacking blocks a few feet away, Lucas watching with interest. Mia was nowhere to be found, but both boys looked content enough and so you focused back on Frankie, chewing on the end of your thumb nail while you waited for him to hang up. “Alright. See you then.”

Darkening the phone, he slipped it back into his shorts pocket, turning his attention to you. “Everything alright?” He stayed quiet for a few seconds and then nodded, his eyes moving to the boys and then back to you.

“Estella tore her ACL. They just got the results of the MRI back, and they’re sending her home with some pain meds and a brace, but she’s going to need surgery in a couple weeks.” Ouch. “Evie’s gonna stay with her for the next few days, so she’s going to stop on the way back there and pack up bags for her and Elijah.” He ran a hand through his hair, dragging the curls away from his forehead. “I offered to keep him overnight, but she said no.” What? Why would she say no?

“Why wouldn’t she want you to keep him?” He looked surprised at your question, Frankie’s mouth opening, though nothing came out. “I’m sure she doesn’t want to deal with someone that’s injured and a toddler at the same time, and we’re more than capable of -”

“She said she didn’t want to ruin your trip.”

“What the fuck?” It was your turn to let your mouth drop open, your head whipping back nd forth. “Frankie, it wouldn’t ruin a damn thing. We don’t have any plans for the rest of the week I’m here, and -” He shrugged, the smile back on his face. “If I wasn’t so happy with you, I’d be asking you why the hell you ever let her go.”

“She’s a good person. Better than I am.” He sighed. “But it just wasn’t right between us. And all that matters now is that we keep getting along for him.” You understood that - and understood how lucky the little boy was to have two parents that were capable of co-parenting. “Honestly? I think she just wants him to be there, so your vacation is an excuse. She said she’d be settled in about an hour, so we’ll stay here for a little while longer and then we can take him back over there on our way to the marina.”

Frankie glanced over at where the kids were, and your eyes followed. “OK.” There was nothing else to say - and so you kept it simple, nodding. “Will we have time to stop back at your house before we go? Because I had no idea there was a boat ride on the agenda, and I’ll need something to put on over this.” You gestured to your outfit, crossing your legs at the knee. “If not, I’m sure there’s a blanket or something in the back of your truck, but -”

“Yes.” Frankie reached for your hand, squeezing it. “We’ll have plenty of time.”

—

The drop off between Frankie and Evie had gone just as smoothly than picking Elijah up - Frankie carrying the once again sleeping child up the driveway and to the front door of a small but well-kept house.

You’d watched from the passenger seat as he and the woman talked for a few minutes, both of Frankie’s arms wrapped around his son’s frame, the boy’s head resting against the front of the man’s shoulder. It was an endearing sight, but you still felt wrong watching them from afar - almost like you were intruding.

So you averted your eyes, reaching for your phone again. There were a few messages from your friends - replies to your initial texts, pictures from the parties they’d been at, emoji replies to the picture of you and Frankie you’d sent earlier, the sun shining from behind you as you grinned at the camera and he stared straight at it, one eyebrow raised.

Heading out to watch fireworks now … apparently Pope bought a boat????

You didn’t know if anyone would respond, but it didn’t matter - the door opened again and Frankie climbed back in next to you, fastening his seatbelt. “Alright. You ready for my favorite part of the 4th?”

“That party wasn’t your favorite part?” Turning your head to look at him, you watched as Frankie began to back the truck out of the driveway, his eyes focused on the mirror. “Also how the hell did you manage to forget to let me know Pope had a boat? Why didn’t he post about it? How did -”

“It’s kinda new.” He laughed, both shoulders rising and falling in a shrug. “And it’s not Pope’s boat, she’s all of ours.” Wait, what? “The five of us bought her a couple months ago. We’d been looking, and something came up. We jumped on it.” Frankie said your name, waiting for your hum of acknowledgement to continue. “Thought it’d be a good surprise.”

You’d stopped questioning Frankie’s financial status after he’d explained parts of Colombia to you - telling you some of the details but leaving out the specifics of what had happened almost three years earlier. Yes, you wanted to ask questions, and you were almost certain that if you did, he’d answer them. But you believed Frankie when he told you that there were parts of his life he didn’t want to relive, or have you experience for the first time yet. Because he’s not proud of it, and that’s … alright. He’ll tell me when he was ready. There was plenty to learn - and plenty of time to do it.

“We’ll see what kind of surprise it is when I see this boat, Francisco.” Letting his name roll off your tongue, you were unsurprised when he reached for your hand, curling his fingers around yours before lifting it to press his lips to your knuckles.

“Oh, you’ll like it. I promise.”

—

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You and Frankie were walking hand in hand from where you’d parked and toward the dock, your eyes moving over the boats that were still moored. “These are all …” They were huge, and even the smallest boats that were in their places were much larger than you’d anticipated. These are million dollar boats. This is … “Frankie, you -”

“There she is.” He lifted a hand, pointing. “Not a helo, but still fun to drive.” The boat he was pointing at was absolutely beautiful, and even as someone with no knowledge of watercraft, you knew that much.

You saw Pope standing on the back deck along with Will, and then, as you got closer, you were able to make out the name on the stern, both brows shooting up as you read it. “Over the Andes, Frankie? That’s an interesting name. Where did -”

He leaned in, lips moving against your ear. “Had to fly over the fuckin’ Andes to get the money home, so we figured it was a good name for her.” He punctuated the statement with a kiss to your cheek. “Lemme show you around.”

You stepped on board, and were immediately overwhelmed as Frankie led you through the interior, pointing out the two bedrooms, the laundry area, bathrooms and kitchen. The front deck was spacious, too, with plenty of room for people to sit if they chose to, and even more space to stretch out and lay in the sun. He followed you up the staircase to the flybridge, gesturing for you to take a seat on the long couch before sliding in next to you, an arm around your back.

“Well? What do you think?” He was barely concealing a grin, the bay breeze tousling his hair where it stuck out from beneath the hat he’d put back on. “Is this a good surprise, or -”

“It’s beautiful. It’s huge, though. How many people can fit on here?” He thought for a few seconds, using his fingers to count.

“Most we’ve ever had on here was … sixteen? The five of us, Tom’s family, Pope’s sister and husband and the kids, the girl Will was dating, and a couple of Benny’s friends. He sniffed. “We invited people for today, but they all had plans, so…” He shrugged. “Their loss.”

You hummed in agreement but didn’t get a chance to say anything before Pope’s head popped up from the stairwell, his smile growing. “That’s where you two went.” He climbed into the seat, spinning it to face you. “You have no idea how bad he wanted to tell you when we bought this.” Pope scratched his head. “Fish barely spends money on anything fun that isn’t his house, but I think he’s pretty happy with himself for finding this beauty.”

“I am.” Frankie nodded. “We almost ready?”

“You two are the last to board, so yeah. Ironhead’s getting us ready to cast off.” Pope leaned back, looking down through the opening of the staircase. “Couple minutes.” Pope stood then, looking at the two of you. “I’m gonna go grab a beer, you guys need anything?”

“Sure.” Frankie cleared his throat. “I’ll take one.” You said you would, too, and then Pope was gone, disappearing back onto the lower deck and leaving you and the other man alone. “I’d just like to point out that I do spend money on things. Just not … like this.”

“I get it.” Leaning closer, you closed your eyes and inhaled the scent of him - sun and sunscreen and the faint scent of his cologne. “Flaunting the fact that you have money is … not attractive.”

“Yeah, I’m trying to be subtle about it.” He tightened his arm, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. “That’s why my truck’s not brand new and my house is just … normal and -”

“And you have no issue drinking cheap beer or ordering takeout or keeping a well-worn hat long past when most people would have gotten rid of it.” Tweaking the bill with two fingers you gave him a lopsided smile. “All the things I like about you.”

“Goddamn, I’m glad I met you.” Frankie closed the distance between you again, his kiss hard. “You have no idea.” No, I think I do. Pulling the hat off of his head and tossing it to the side, you ran your fingers through his hair, eyes moving over his face. I’ll never get tired of this. “You don’t get seasick, do you?”

“Not that I know of.” Laughing, you relaxed against the back cushion. “How far out are we going?”

“Couple miles. We’re staying in the Bay, but if you head out toward the center of it, you have a perfect view of both sides … and all the fireworks that go with it.” Oh. Oh, that makes sense. “We’ve rented a couple times before but … this is the first year we’ve got our boat.”

“Well…” You pointed at the horizon. “Thank you for wanting me to be here for her maiden July 4th voyage.” Frankie kissed you again in reply, the tip of his tongue dragging over your lower lip. Finally. He hasn’t kissed me like this all day, and I’ve just … You turned toward him, both hands rising so that you could touch his face and the nape of his neck, one of Frankie’s hands flat against your back.

But it was you that pulled back first, your hand dropping so that your could press your fingertips against his lips. “Wh-”

“I don’t want to get yelled at by Pope again.” Teeth digging into your lower lip, you paused. “I’m pretty sure if that man walks in on us kissing a second time, he’s gonna throw one of us overboard.” Frankie laughed at that, the man tilting his head back. But he didn’t disagree.

“Plenty of time for that later tonight.” Frankie hummed, his eyes meeting yours. “And he won’t be there to cockblock.” No, he won’t be.

“Alright, you guys ready to go?” Santiago appeared again a few minutes later, a small cooler slung over one arm. “Gives us plenty of time to get a good spot.” Frankie stood, reaching for the cooler, which he handed to you - and then took a seat behind the wheel, flipping on screens and pushing switches. Pope sat next to him and you handed out the cans, both men cracking theirs open and taking long drags.

Oh, Frankie’s going to … ok. Ok, I can… You sat straight up and watched the change come over him, Frankie’s shoulders straightening and his hands moving smoothly over the screens and controls until he was satisfied. You felt a slight thrum beneath your feet as he started the engine, but all you could focus on was the way the man’s hands looked as they gripped the wheel and shifter, Frankie’s eyes moving over everything as he did his pre-checks.

“We good, Pope?” The second man agreed, calling down to Will. Moments later, you felt a shudder as you began to drift away from the dock, the current carrying you a safe distance. But that didn’t last long, Frankie easing the boat into reverse and watching the screens in front of him, the images from the backup cameras projected there.

Within a few minutes, you were sailing forward and toward open water - but instead of watching the view ahead of you, you were still focused on Frankie.

Who wouldn’t be? He looked more at home behind the wheel of the boat than you’d ever seen him while driving anything else, and at the thought that the boat still wasn’t anything like a helicopter, you shivered. I’m going to lose my mind when I see him flying.

After a couple more minutes of watching the way his fingers curved around the wheel and the tendons in his forearms flexed as he moved them, you tore your eyes away and looked at the water. Enough. You twisted on the seat so that you could rest your chin atop the arm that was laid across the back of the cushion. Some of the other passengers were sitting on the front deck - including Tom’s daughter, and your eyes wandered over them as you moved further away from land.

“Hey, ‘Fish.” Pope’s voice rose above the sound of the water and the motor, and even though you didn’t turn, you still listened, waiting to hear what he was going to say. “Let me take over. Go sit with your girl.” You warmed at his words, pressing your lips together and closing your eyes, waiting.

You didn’t wait long.

Frankie took a seat behind you and then pulled you back and closer to his chest, tucking both of you into the corner of the L-shaped seat, his feet on the ground and your legs stretched out in front of you. You caught the smirk on Santi’s face before he turned his attention entirely back to the water, and for a few seconds you watched him steer, too, the curl of his fingers looser than Frankie’s had been - but no less attractive.

“Relax.” Frankie spoke into your ear, his voice low. “We’ve gotta go slow because there are so many boats out today, so it’ll be about 45 minutes til we get to where we’re going. Get comfortable.” With a hum, you closed your eyes, turning your cheek toward his chest as Frankie’s arms wound tighter around you. I can do that.

You didn’t quite fall asleep before you stopped moving, but it was close. The steady rise and fall of the man’s chest and the glide of the boat through the water lulled you into a more relaxed state than you could remember ever being in before. You heard him talking to Pope, the two of them laughing every now and then, but Frankie never let go of you, one arm around your waist, the other loosely slung over the upper portion of your chest.

Colorado hadn’t ever felt further away than it did when you felt Pope cut the motor, the motion of the boat slowing so that the only thing moving you was the current. Opening your eyes, you took a deep breath in through your nose, immediately soothed by the sound of Frankie’s voice in your ear. “We’re here. Anchored an’ everything.” Already?

Sitting straight up and stretching, you felt Frankie’s hands slide away from your body, the man groaning as he straightened up, too. “Where are we?”

“St. Petersburg is that way.” Pope pointed, nodding his chin. “Tampa is that way, and Ruskin’s over there.” He grinned. “We’re in the middle of it all.” You decided to take his word for it, the faint outline of the shore visible in all directions if you squinted. “You two can stay up here if you want, but it’s a much better view from the lower deck.” Pope stood, reaching for his beer can. “Remember, there are other people on this boat right now, and one of ‘em’s a teenager, so -”

“I swear to God Santiago, if you say another word you’re going into the goddamn water.” Frankie’s growl made you laugh, one hand rising to cover your mouth as your eyes widened. “We’ll be down in a minute.” Pope caught your eye and winked, but didn’t say anything else before he disappeared, leaving you and Frankie alone again. “It’s crowded this year.” Frankie sighed, calling your attention back to him. “Lots of boats out here doing the same thing.”

“It must be a good idea, then.” Spinning back to face him, you didn’t hesitate before swinging one leg over both of his to straddle his lap. Both of his brows shot up, but Frankie’s hands moved immediately to your hips, his lips curving upward into a sly smile. “You have a lot of good ideas.”

“Do I?” He grinned, the tip of his tongue visible for a few brief moments as he wet his lips. “I think I’m about to have another one.” Your laugh was halted by the press of his mouth to yours, Frankie taking advantage of your parted lips to slip his tongue between them. He tightened his hold on your hips, one of your hands gripping his cotton-covered shoulder while the other fisted the curls at the back of his head.

You were overwhelmed - by him, by the scent of the saltwater on the breeze, by the sounds of the music and people conversing below you, by the gentle rock of the boat on the surface of the water - but you liked it. Because I like him. Because I love it here, because I … Breaking away from Frankie with a gasp, you felt the air leave your lungs in a rush.

His brows knit together as the man opened his mouth to ask you what was wrong. Nothing. Nothing’s wrong and everything’s right and … You didn’t let him, instead leaning in and kissing him again. The grip on his hair loosened as you stroked over the curve of his skull, your other hand moving slowly from his shoulder to the side of his neck. Frankie hummed, both hands sliding up your sides beneath your shirt so that he could rest his palms against your bare skin.

You knew that he could feel the pounding of your heart, and when he shifted his hips beneath you, the slowly-growing bulge beneath the material of his shorts dragging along your core, you didn’t pull away. Instead, you pulled him closer, widening the spread of your legs so that you could feel him. I don’t just need him, I want him and I …

The two of you were moments away from taking things too far in the open with an audience only a few feet away, so you weren’t surprised when he eased away from you, the man’s lips dragging over the corner of your mouth and then to your ear as you switched from kissing him to hugging him fiercely, face buried against the side of his neck.

There’s so much I want to say. Should I? Do I risk it? Do I tell him?

It had been a year since you’d met - and in that year, there’d been hundreds of hours of conversation, thousands of messages sent back and forth - multiple visits between you that had not only solidified your feelings, but intensified them, too. And as you sat there, wrapped in his arms with the tips of his fingers dragging up and down the length of your spine, you had a feeling that things were the same for him.

“Frankie?” You raised your head, steadying yourself and taking a breath. The sun was beginning to set behind him, the sky turning from blue to varied shades of gold and orange, the edges of the clouds on the horizon glowing. But you barely noticed, instead focused on the way Frankie looked at you - the man’s eyes locked with yours, the warmth in their depths almost tangible.

His lips were parted, the full lower one begging to be kissed - but you held back, giving him a minute shake of your head. That turned into a slow nod, the spread of your fingers widening as they tangled in the soft locks of his hair. He said your name, tilting his head slightly to the side, but after that, Frankie just waited, giving you the time you needed to process your thoughts.

Like he always does. Like he always has. “Frankie, I lo -”

You were interrupted by the sound of an explosion from overhead, Frankie’s hold on you tightening as both of you craned your necks up and toward the sky where the smoky remnants of a firework lingered. Of course. Of course it … “It’s still light out.” He groaned, shaking his head as he closed his eyes. “Idiots.”

That made you laugh, the tension in your chest releasing as the moment was broken. Maybe it’s for the best. “Guess that’s our cue to go down with everyone else, hmm?” He paused, meeting your eyes again in question, but then nodded after a few seconds, squeezing your hips before he let go.

You stood on shaky legs, tugging the ends of your shorts back into place before you straightened your tee shirt. There’s always later. There’s … plenty of time. He called out your name and you turned to see the man holding out the thin hoodie you’d picked up on your way to the marina. “Thank you.” Taking it, you pulled it over your head and into place, going silent. Later. I’ll tell him later.

“You were saying something?” He interrupted your thoughts, the man raking his fingers through his hair. “When we were sitting?” I was, but …

“I’ll tell you later.” Wrinkling your nose, you gestured to the steps. “Let’s go back downstairs.”

—

Just under 40 minutes later, you were all on the lower level of the boat, split into smaller groups. You and Frankie had been talking with Will and Benny on the stern deck, but as the sky steadily darkened, Frankie took your hand and tugged you away from the other men, leading you the few feet to the step down and onto the swim platform. “What are we -”

“Figured we’d sit back here by ourselves.” Frankie slipped his shoes off and then lowered himself into a seated position, staring up at you. “Best view on the boat.” You had to agree, even though it was starting to get really dark, the only lights the few inside the cabin and the faint glow from the shoreline. You took your shoes off and sunk down next to him, Frankie’s arm automatically winding around your waist and urging you closer. “I’d tell you to dangle your feet if you wanted because the water’s warm, but there’s sharks, and I really don’t want to have to jump in and -”

“Are you serious?” Your entire body tensed as you prepared to move further from the edge of the platform - despite the fact that your feet were nowhere near the water. “Should we even be -”

“I’m just kidding.” He squeezed your side, laughing. “I mean there are sharks, but you could probably put your feet in if you wanted.”

“Asshole.” You rubbed at your forehead. “You can’t make jokes like that, I come from a place where the largest body of water is part of a river, and -” He laughed, the sound snatched away by the breeze and carrying over the water, but it only took a few seconds for him to stop, Frankie taking a deep breath before saying your name quietly.

When you looked over, you saw that he was already watching you, the expression on his face serious. But it softened almost immediately, a flash of his teeth visible as he smiled. “That … thing you were gonna tell me earlier?” Your heart rate sped up, but you nodded, the fingers you had resting on his thigh curling inward and crushing the fabric of his shorts between them. “I love you, too.”

Your breath caught in your throat at his words, but you could see him visibly relaxing as he spoke, the man’s posture loosening though he made no move to pull his arm away. “You do?” He nodded, one side of his mouth lifting in a smile. “Good.”

You closed the distance between you and kissed him, Frankie’s free hand rising to settle against the hinge of your jaw. It stayed there even when you parted to take a breath, the first loud booms of the fireworks displays beginning to echo over the water and in the air around you. “Good?”

Nodding, you licked your lips slowly, unwilling to look away. “Yeah, Frankie. That’s really good.”

---

** Link to the boat I used for reference on the Masterlist page

Tag list coming soon!

#frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x female reader #pedro pascal #pedrostories #pedro pascal character #life is good #triple frontier #triple frontier fic #beach au #frankie morales fan club #francisco 'catfish' morales #triple frontier au #frankie morales on the water #life is good masterlist #frankie morales masterlist #pedro pascal masterlist #red white and true #oneshot

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doctorweebmd · 3 months ago

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hello just in case anyone is checking in on where i am lmao:

i gave myself up until the end of labor day weekend to dick around (i.e. working on tptp) and not do things i need to be doing (i.e. everything else) with this self-imposed deadline being imposed as such because i have a LOT of shit i need to work on in the coming weeks. i actually am, like, 32 years old, and have a full time job in academic medicine (… well, ish, im a perpetual fellow) and have a TON to get done on top of just working INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO:

-> research that i am so so regretfully the principal investigator on and have funding for somehow so i actually have to do it and produce results

-> meeting after meeting after meeting for said research. Why is there so much politics in research. Why is medicine such a fucking joke.

-> leaving country in 2 weeks

-> prepping to leave country in two weeks including tying up loose ends at work, doctors appointments, meds, clothes on top of making sure everything is planned and updated for the travel itself because I planned the entire trip lmao

-> finish updating my CV

-> cold-calling and emailing local programs for jobs because you would think after four years of college, four years of med school, three years of residency, three years of fellowship and another one year of even more fellowship people would be falling all over themselves to recruit MY ass but FYI unless you have a large NIH grant or you have a personal relationship with program heads your ass is NOT getting headhunted. and also MD jobs worth getting never get posted about online because, as mentioned above, openings are rarely made public and if they are they're desperate to hire anyone which is often not a good sign. Anyway most people say have a contract in hand between December-February which is… something.

-> abstract for (conference) due in a month, for (conference #2) in two months

-> critical care boards in two months that i need to start studying for!!!

-> lecture series for (x) fellows development and execution that I don’t have the dates for yet…

… anyway. I’m tired. I’m hoping to have time to write when traveling but damn. These are non-problem problems because I’m privileged to get to do any of this but at the same time it feels like a lot to manage. The good news is since I started getting medicated like 6 months ago I’m not totally shutting down at the prospect of this, but it’s still a bit stressful. Sigh.

#I just…. think I’m gonna stay clear of academic medicine #I literally want to work and come home and be done #like…. all these extra responsibilities and rat race bullshit to publish #I’m just… done with it. what’s the point #anyway personal or whatever #sigh.#this all doesn’t include social obligations either hahahaa #I will say like…. having some time and money for the first time in life #and getting to travel last year as well as prioritizing it this year…#it’s good. it’s really really good. I’m excited.#I’m also seeing my dad for the first time in nearly 6 years which is wild #he’s meeting us in Rome for like 2 days #…#okay writing this all out as a list is actually super helpful.

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quinloki · 1 year ago

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Katakuri - Longing

Reader style - they/them, afab (No pronouns were used in the final result) Time slot - After hours Client Name - @mew-ya CW: blindfolded, use of teeth

(I am currently undecided if my Host Club AU will be true to One Piece canon size differences. This entry has Katakuri as his canonical size)

You barely came to Katakuri’s thigh, but that wasn’t something that had mattered to you from the beginning. There was just something about the mochi man and his massive height that held you captive from the very first time you’d come into the Club.

It was all you, your requests, your persistence, your conversations that eventually led Katakuri to accept, by appointment, Hosting slots and Escort slots. You had both gotten to know one another quite well over the months you spoke to the bartender, gentle in your delivery and understanding in his concerns, offering suggestions and ways to maintain the privacy he desired while still allowing himself an outlet.

So here you were, arms bound, his jacket bunched and piled up over your head, leaving your naked body exposed for his pleasure, and keeping his exposed mouth from your view. He was so much larger than you, impossibly larger, but it didn’t make your desires any less.

You’d done and tried so much, but even one of his fingers was simply too thick, there wasn’t enough lube or prep to help you, you just couldn’t handle the stretch.

And you tried. You tried to hide your discomfort in the last attempt, but he felt something tear and it had been a trip to the hospital for your safety afterward. Nothing that required stitches, fortunately, but it took weeks to convince him to see you privately again, so deep was his guilt.

A wet tongue, tender fingers, careful teeth, and a sharp eye worked your body over. Katakuri could always push pleasure into you so easily, but it was so bittersweet, so frustrating. It wasn’t bad, it didn’t leave you feeling disgusted or uncomfortable.

But it did leave you feeling empty.

You wanted him to be able to fill you up. To claim you inside as much as he had outside.

The curve of hard fangs kept your legs spread wide. Slow movement from Katakuri kept either set from biting into the sweet skin of your thighs or legs, as his tongue flicked and swirled against your clit. Your legs flexed and curled, thighs twitching against his fangs, heavy moans filling the space under his jacket, lips begging to cum.

Words that belied the real need, the desire to cum against him, not just for him. Tears filled your eyes, frustration and pleasure both wanting little more than release.

You felt pressure against your nipples as he tugged at the chain between the clamps you had put on yourself before he bound your arms. Proof that you could handle pain. Proof that he could hurt you and you’d be okay. Proof, only if you could endure the clamps, whatever he decided to do with them.

Your body tensed in anticipation of the impending orgasm. Pleasure flooded into you as his tongue continued to work you through the sharp pleasure.

At the peak or your orgasm, Katakuri pulled the nipple clamps off with a quick tug. Pain from the tug was nothing compared the feeling of blood rushing back into your sensitive nipples. The tingling pain pulled a gasp from you in the midst of your orgasm, the rush and tingle and feel of a thousand needles against such tender skin made you scream and thrash.

But even your screams were still filled with pleasure. He holds you down easily, keeping you from hurting yourself against his fangs as he licks, and sucks, and laps the pleasure falling from you. The first orgasm is pulled into a second, rough fingers dancing over throbbing nipples, riding the lines of pleasure and pain as your addled brain melted into a fog.

The pleasure was sweet and warm, and the pain was sharp and just as sweet. To wish for more felt greedy.

But the desire was there.

One Piece Host Club AU drabble event runs through December 2023

#One Piece Host Club AU #December Drabble Event 2023 #One Piece Fanfiction #x reader #reader insert #charlotte katakuri

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 2 years ago

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Life Is Short So Make It Sweet

Chapter Thirteen: Proceed To The Exit

Summary- 5.9 Curtis Everett x Plus!Sized Reader. Winter Break is swiftly coming, making you busier than ever with getting your drama club ready for its first performance. There is also the aquarium date Curtis invited you to just before Thanksgiving, which is some much needed adult time for you both.

Warnings- Adult sexual activities, oral, some talk about critters like bats.

A/N- Hello hello! I've been waiting for this chapter because personally, I love aquariums and museums. The one I described in this chapter is very reminiscent of the one where I live. I have been going since I was a kid, still, try to make a once a year trip to visit. I was always that kid that pretended dinosaurs still existed, picked up snakes, lizards, and toads, makes sure to catch spiders to release them, and brought home frog eggs to hatch them. Anyways the huge fish like the sturgeon in our Echo Center always fascinated me, like living dinosaurs. The readers' love for this is my love for all this. As always thank you to everyone who reads and shares. Special thank you to @what-is-your-plan-today for the edits. Divider made by @firefly-graphics.

Chapter Twelve / Masterlist

The following days flew by, You and your class were getting ready for winter break and doing evening rehearsals with the drama club after school. Then there was prepping for sending out packages for your sister and her family in Florida as well as a package of gifts to your parents in New York, not to mention Christmas cards to your aunt, uncle, and cousins that you still kept somewhat in touch with. All while trying to keep up with life in general. The first couple weeks December was turning nothing short of hectic.

Curtis remained just as busy himself with the train yard, as well as helping Paulie at the bar during the busier time of year. It put some extra cash in his savings and you had insisted he does it since you were busy most evenings with after school projects. A few days a week he would stop off at the school on his way to Paulie’s, catch sight of you working with the kids on stage finalizing lines. When you would notice him standing in the back watching, you would slip away from them to go do a quick visit.

Curtis never missed the enthusiastic grin that would cross your face when you would weave your way through the cafeteria that doubled as the school auditorium. “I didn't think I would get to see you today.” Your eyes would gleam in relief when he would hold up the to go package of food he picked up on his way over. “Or that you would be bringing me dinner.” You would go to your tiptoes to give a thank you kiss and Curtis would take advantage of you being in his space to draw you in closer.

After all, these were few and far between on weekdays when you both were doing what life required of you, anxiously waiting for the weekend to roll around. “Figured you were probably too busy to make yourself something proper tonight.” Setting the bag down on one of the nearby tables, you would look a tad sheepish as he made an accurate assumption. You hadn't even given a thought to what you would have for dinner and most likely snack on whatever random thing you would find in your apartment before you went to bed exhausted. Your hand slid down his chest to tangle lightly in his chain, not wanting to separate the two of you quite yet.

“Okay, you caught me, I would have remembered eventually.” You confessed and he gave a slight grumbling sigh that he knew he had been right. “But thank you, for looking out for me Curtis.”

“Someone needs to. The kids look good up on stage, they must be excited for opening night?”

You beamed, proud of how hard your students have been working and excited as well for the first big show at Mason Academy you have been a part of. “Tomorrow night, they are so excited and have worked really hard. I just hope the weather holds out so we don’t have to cancel.”

“It will be fine.” Curtis assured you, a frequent weather checker due to working outdoors most of the time. “Save me a seat, I’m coming to watch with Tanya tomorrow. Timmy has been talking non stop about it she said.”

“As director, I get prime seating options.” You promised. One of the students called your name, making you look back. “I should probably get back.” You sighed tiredly.

“I also got to get to Paulie's for a shift,” Curtis stated, cupping your chin and drawing you into a goodbye kiss, bringing his lips to yours with a gentle brush. It made you tingle from the top of your head to the tips of your toes feeling his whiskers tickle you and the press of his plump bottom lip to yours. “Text me before bed?”

“Promise, don’t cause no trouble at the bar.”

“Tell people stop testing me then.” He winked as he gave a quick wave to Timmy who was on stage. “Talk later Honey.”

You gave a little wave goodbye before grabbing your food, and when you looked in the bag you saw he sent enough for you to have for a couple days at least as he always did, and made your way back to the stage. “One last run through guys, then I think we are ready for tomorrow!” The cheer from the kids echoed through the cafeteria.

The night of the play proved to be a success, Curtis showed up with Tanya, finding out that you had reserved some seats for the two of them. Their names were written in sharpie with smiley faces on a piece of paper.

Tanya was the proud mother, taking many pictures and excitedly whispering to Curtis about how hard Timmy had worked at home memorizing his lines. For Curtis’s part, he enjoyed the show. The kids certainly had done a good job and he saw all those costumes you had diligently worked on over at his house. He also caught glimpses of you behind the curtain, helping out. It wasn't till after the show you finally stepped out into the spotlight with the rest of the kids, and very much like every time he sees you, he is caught up in just how beautiful you looked.

Curtis could tell you were enjoying yourself, thanking all the parents who had come to see the play, your energy was open, full of smiles and laughs. You were steadily shaking hands and giving praise to how hard the kids worked. Curtis waited for the stream of parents to start to thin out before he approached you with a small bouquet of carnations to gift to you. When you turned to him, there was no missing the excited relieved look you had at seeing him, your eyes were shining bright and a smile was permanently on your lips. You looked happy.

“What a great show Honey.” He held out the bright yellow and pink flowers. You dipped your head to them, your eyes closing as you inhaled there sweet scent.

“They did all the work Curtis, I just helped. These are beautiful, thank you.”

“Mmmh, I saw a lot of you in the play, even if no one else knows it.” He let his hand rest against your back to tuck you close.

It was infectious, your energy and Curtis deemed himself lucky to get to bask in it.

That Saturday night had you getting ready for the special date. Curtis had invited you before Thanksgiving to attend the adult night at the Aquarium, the function to raise money for the care of the animals living there and you were beyond excited to attend. It required a bit of dressing up, which now you felt much more confident in your choices. You chose a dress that was appropriate for evenings out- a little black dress that shaped around your curves. Your makeup done up a bit more then usual and your hair whisked in a style that pinned it back, allowing the slope of your neck to show off.

Curtis as well was giving it his all, dress shoes were swapped out from his typical boots or sneakers, black dress slacks that accentuated his long legged stature up to a slim waist. A blue button up shirt was tucked into his pants.

He was messing with his shirt in the hallway mirror, scowling at himself as he tried getting the collar to straighten out. His eyes lifted to see you coming down the stairway, and his eyes got wide before turning to face you.

“Honey, you look…” You felt your chest tickle with pride and wanting to downplay what he was saying. “You look incredible Honey.”

You took his compliment to heart instead, not disputing it or trying to brush it off. You licked your lips nervously but gave a smile. “Thank you, do you want some help with that?”

Tilting his chin up to give you plenty of room, he nodded. “Please? I’m no good at this stuff.”

“Oh, I think your pretty damn fine with it Curtis.” You stepped in close to reach him.

He kept the top of his shirt open, choosing not to go with a tie, but when you tucked his collar down, admiring him up close, you couldn’t help but find the entire look and effort very enticing. He had even been sure to trim himself, cutting back the shagginess of his beard and making his hair crisp with a fresh buzz.

“Everything okay?” His blue eyes a tad nervous as he fiddled with the buttons and you covered his hand with yours to stop him from fretting.

“I was just caught up in how damn good you looked Curtis.” You were rewarded with a slight pink tinge to the tops of his ears, well aware the back of his neck would be red as well. “Can you go warm the truck up? I will be out in a minute?”

He patted his pants pockets while glancing around before you handed him his wallet and phone. “Right, lock up on your way out? I got the garage door open, come through there. I already pulled your car in.”

Assuring him that you would, while he went to do that you went through the house one last time making sure everything was off, leaving the light on above the stove for when you two got back, you made your way outside.

This time you two went to dinner before the aquarium at the French restaurant Curtis had taken you two at the start of your first date. This time you both enjoyed yourselves, delving into conversation while eating dinner. There simply wasn’t any awkwardness. Curtis opted for grilled Angus steak in a red wine sauce and you had a piece of snapper, also grilled in its own fresh sauce.

By the time you both finished, there wasn't room for another bite for dessert, and having whatever was left boxed to go, you two proceeded to the museum.

It was high school since Curtis last attended the freshwater aquarium, but his guess had been right that you would enjoy it. When he led you inside to show his online tickets to require the wristbands needed, you were already clutching at his hand excitedly. Ushered through one last set of doors and out of the cold for good, your jackets were checked and a glass of champagne was offered to both of you. Your arm hooked through his as you sipped from your flute, your eyes roving around to take in the different directions that you two could go.

“Where should we go visit first?”

Curtis took a look around himself, getting reacquainted with the space. “Well, I think that way was displays of local habitats you will find on Lake Superior which includes otters…”

“Otters?” You perked up and Curtis nodded to confirm. “I want to see the otters.”

He chuckled and winked. “Anything you wish Honey.” Leading you in the general direction that the crowd was going, the area leading towards the otters was brightly lit, with glass turtle tanks built into the wall where the reptiles swam and lounged on great log displays.

Something under the water caught your eye and carefully you lowered to look at the lower part of the tank, Curtis bent from the waist to look into the display to see small minnows darting in schools from one particular turtle going for the chase. You admired the underwater set up, it did indeed look like a piece of the lake was set up in the tanks.

“Think they catch any of those little bastards? They are quick in the water.” Curtis observed while he moved back to a stand, offering his arm for you to get back up as well. The surface of the display hid the chaos underneath, the row of turtles slowly slipping off one by one.

“That many turtles, I’m sure they don’t stand much of a chance. Turtles are faster then anyone gives them credit for. You ever see one of those race across the road?”

You two wander from the display, glancing in others showing woodland frogs peeping loudly but well hidden so you and Curtis had to search them out, garter snakes lazily stretching under the heated lamps and toads blinking at the two of them before giving a lazy hop in the small enclosure. You paused at some earthy colored newts creeping along damp moss.

“I used to love these guys. Only ours were fiery orange with dots on there backs. Oh… these too.” You shifted to the next tank, the salamander was much longer and black in color, yellow spots dotting its back. “My sister and I used to go out in the springtime at night and go looking for them. They would always cross through our yard.”

Curtis peered into the tank. “I remember my grandfather caught one of these at the freight yard, runs right along the river so we see them there all the time in the spring while they are migrating. Came home with it and sent my grandmother just about through the front door.” Curtis laughed at the memory. “I can still hear her now ‘Wilford you get that thing out of my house.’ She wasn’t too keen on any of them indoors. Especially snakes.”

“What did he do with it?” You asked, having lost focus on the small amphibian in the tank. You were much more keen on watching Curtis’s expressions recalling the memory.

“He loaded me into the truck and we went back to where he found it. He insisted I let it go so I got to hold it for a bit before it scurried away.” His arm loosely fell around your waist, tucking you in close and smiling to himself. A genuine smile, you could see the way it crinkled the corner of his eyes and made his features relaxed.

“I think.. Yup. The otters are next.” He led you along, keeping you closer now since the crowd started filling out more. You made a mental note of the location for when you brought your class down on a field trip. Know where the otters were because they would be the popular exhibit.

The crowd broke to a large glass wall, the bottom half was much like the turtle tank, filled with water that mimicked the bottom a lake bed. More eye level was the otters above ground display, which featured logs and brush, a slide made to look like a hollowed tree, caverns for them to dart into.

There was also a large amount of snow dumped in it, which the otter pair were rolling in and sliding into theirwater tank before rushing out to hop into the pile again. Their handlers stood among the pile, giving the presentation, drawing in the crowd. Curtis let his hand settle on your waist, listening to the display given which he knew would help draw in the funds the aquarium was looking for.

You snapped a few pictures from your phone, listening to the info given while you sent the pictures to your sister with plenty of heart emojis. You inched closer, trying to weave your way through the crowd but you suddenly felt self-conscious, like you were in the way of people. You drew yourself into a corner, glancing over your shoulder to make sure you weren't blocking anyone.

Curtis ended up following you, pulling you to stand in front of him and tucking your head under his chin as he wrapped his arms around you, seemingly knowing that you suddenly were feeling so in the way and to big in your space. He had no problem easing you two to a better spot in front of the tank. His head dropped to whisper in your ear. “Take a couple more pictures, I'm sure your sister would love these shots.”

You eased up, and started to forget about being nervous or anxious as you felt his hands resting on your waist and the firm length of his body behind you. You did just as he said, take more pictures and enjoy the show of the otters playing in the snow. You would occasionally lift your phone to show him your sister's response before you moved away from the display. In the less crowded area, he came back up beside you, his arm lifting to drape over your shoulder, still relaxed as ever. Stepping from the bright light room that featured the otters, you two entered an area with large aquariums featuring some of the different styles of lake habitats and aquatic species.

Curtis let you lead the way the rest of the time, catching a glimpse of who you must be in the classroom as you talked about different species of fish, pointing out the shape of fin patterns for different streams of water, what kind of food they would hunt and what animals would hunt them.

“I didn’t know I was dating a regular outdoors woman.” He arched a curious brow at you and you shrugged a bit, feeling suddenly shy about it.

“If I wasn’t a teacher, I would have been a biologist. I always loved wildlife. Outdoors woman? Yeah, that is stretching it. I really hate mosquitos.” You shuddered in his hold, making him burst out laughing at your confession.

“Really hate them Honey, like a lot?” He teased as he couldn't contain his laughter, his hand falling from your shoulder to slap against his chest. You scowled at him in play, elbowing his stomach in retaliation.

“Okay Mr.Big Shot, you like everything out there?”

He finished off his champagne in a swallow and you both set your emptied glasses on a bypassing host. “Thank you.” He said, both of you declining another glass. “Oh hell no, know what I hate… Bats.”

“Bats? Bats are adorable.” While you two ducked into another section, coming up to a huge large tank casting the room in a soft blue glow. You both paused in front of it, watching huge fish, some as long as your body, swim lazily around.

“They used to scare the shit out of me.” Curtis admitted. “They come swooping down out of nowhere and just barely miss you. I got stuck up in the attic once and there was a whole colony that had set up house. I just about broke down that door to get out.”

You bit your lip at the mental image of big giant Curtis running from a couple of bats. His gaze looked down at you. “I’m sorry, I know its not okay to laugh.” Your voice bubbled while you tried to keep it somber and he nudged you, winking.

“You can laugh, it is funny.”

You let it out, a real genuine laugh, making him join right in while you two watched the lake giants in the tank. Once you two died down, your face lifted up to catch the tanks glow just right, your eyes sparkling in admiration at one in particular.

“That your favorite? The lake sturgeon?” He asked and you nodded, your head tilting as a small smile appeared.

“Always, they are kind of like looking at the past, you know? Like a living dinosaur. They look intimidating and dangerous, but so rarely will hurt anyone. Plus they are just beautiful, something so large and yet elegant in how it moves.” You sighed almost wistfully at your statement and Curtis grasped your chin gently to look at him, away from the tank.

“I see what you mean, but I think the only thing I can actually call beautiful in this room is you Honey.” He firmly reminded you, pressing a kiss to your mouth before you could rebut him. “And I refuse to accept anything else.”

“You are stubborn Curtis, you can’t compare me to fish.”

“I kinda just did and don’t take anything back.” He smirked and you shook your head at him while he took your hand. As more people came into the area, you two retreated, following the flow of the room till you two went into a river display.

You continued to let Curtis lead you along, loosing concentration in what the displays were now. Your attention was focused more on the pull of Curtis’s shoulders under the light blue shirt, shifting just right so you could see the muscles in his back with his movements, the shirt tucked firmly in his black dress pants, that in your opinion made his ass look just as good as a pair of jeans could. Whenever the two of you would pause, he would squint just slightly to read the smaller print once in a while when he was really interested in something he would mouth the words along with what he was reading.

It struck you just how nice this date out was for you, no one would have ever considered taking you to an aquarium. Most certainly not your ex, you had invited him once to something like this and he immediately shot it down. But, not only did Curtis bring you, he fully engaged in it as well, making sure to ask you questions and making his own observations. Even opening up to tell you things about his past. All of it just caught up to you how lucky you were to have met him. It also made you want to show him how much you appreciated him.

You sidled up closer to him, running your hand along the expanse of his back while leaning up to his ear. “Curtis…”

He paused from his reading to turn his attention to you. His gaze narrowed slightly at the way you were biting your lip. “You okay Y/N?”

“Come on, I have another place I want us to check out real quick.” Your hand weaved with his and this time you took the lead, by passing groups of people who were listening to hosts discuss the importance of the display. But you didn’t pause, not till the groups of people started to thin out, leaving behind the more interesting features of an aquarium. As a teacher, you knew the ones people tended to ignore.

Stepping through a curtain under a large sign that said ‘History of The Great Lake.’ Just as you suspected, it was almost empty. A few couples wandered from old grainy photograph to another, reading the history. You turned to Curtis and put a finger to your lips for quiet. You knew what you were looking for, and when you saw the corner enclosed mostly in darkness, a curtain covering a red exit sign.

Pulling him around the curtain, you faced Curtis and cupped his face to bring him in closer, urgently kissing him, drawing him in till his hands grabbed at handfuls of your ass to arch you into him as the kiss turned greedy, both of you going breathless to draw away from each other for gasps of air. This is when you prayed to everything you could think of that there wouldn’t be an alarm on the door. And when you backed into it and it clicked open, the two of you stumbling through, it stayed silent.

Perfect.

Once through, you pushed him lightly against the wall, dropping your hands to his belt with a smirking look before you dropped to your knees in front of him, fingers easing his belt out of the loop.

“Oh, shit. Right here?” He looked down at you with a wide-eyed surprised expression as you popped it open, along with the button holding his pants closed. The tip of your tongue slid along your lips as you glanced up at him through your lashes.

“As long as it is okay with you Curtis.” Your fingers found the hidden away zip, tugging it down with a swipe of the zipper's teeth. You started kissing along his hip through his pants, not yet tugging down, but your fingers curled in the band of pants and boxers. “If you want me to stop, I will stop right now.”

Did he want you to stop? Hell no, his brain was screaming at him while you looked up at him just as sweet as always, the hint of lust in your eyes as you waited for his answer. Your lips kiss swollen red and your tongue just adding to the image of you kneeling right in front of him, inches away from his cock that was now very hard and straining the front of probably the only decent pair of pants he owned. If you didn’t do something now, the likelihood they would be cum stained before this night ended was a real possibility.

Curtis’s hand dropped to cup the side of your face that you leaned into. “I don’t think I will ever want you to stop.” He said seriously and you broke into a grin, leaning forward once more to kiss against the skin showing, sliding your tongue against the vein leading down as you eased his pants down far enough to give you room. His cock strained the front of his boxer briefs and you kissed there too, still staring up at him as you worked those down too till he was free. Very stiff and erect, you took a second to admire just how well-endowed Curtis was before you wrapped your hands around him, stroking upwards.

Curtis did his best to remember this image of you, your eyes were all wide eyed and glancing from his cock to his face continuously checking in with him, hovering so close to his now weeping cock head that when you ran your tongue over him, he didn’t know how he was gonna hold out. He let his hand find a place in your hair, not to lead you but just to hold onto you while you wrapped your lips around him.

Those lips, soft and supple as they stretched around his cock, to see you start to ease him with lots of spit from your mouth and flutters of your tongue teasing his length, he wanted a video. More than anything, he wanted to have this for later when he was alone in bed, horny as fuck picturing you riding his cock.

Somewhere you must have realized, cause you dragged yourself off him, kissing against his swollen tip once more as your hands now worked him. “Feeling good?”

“Fuck, It’s uh-” He stammered for a moment, distracted at the way you nipped the inside of his thighs and pressed your face in close to use your mouth to tease his balls. It cut off his train of thought, his grasp in your hair tightening, now this time to lead you. “-Like that, again Y/N.”

Your mouth wrapped around his sac, sucking and teasing with strokes of your tongue, your nose nuzzled in close to him while you still worked on jerking him off. You started squirming at Curtis’s feet, wrapping your mouth around him again and bopping your head as your hands worked him, humming and moaning the more you took him down. It was turning Curtis into a babbling mess above you. Every time something he liked in particular happened, like your tongue wrapping around him, his hold would twist into your hair and he would break out into praising.

“Pretty Girl, I gotta be in you.” He finally declared, making you pull off him with a panting gasp, nodding that you understood.

He was rougher than usual with you, but you felt that rush in your core at how he hauled you to your feet and twisted you to lean against the stair banister, looking down at the floor below while large hands pushed the back of your dress up over your hips and his fingers stroked your now soaked panties.

“Fuck, you get this wet suckin’ my dick?” A hook of a finger into the fabric slid them aside to feel your pussy welcoming him.

“Yes! Fuck me Curtis, I need it bad.” You wriggled back against him, his chest draped over your back and his whiskers scratching at the side of your neck. You felt him groan so deeply that it made you shiver excitedly, arching your head back so he could kiss and nip at your neck.

“Spread your legs wider.” He plunged fingers into you, finger fucking you with urgency while he grasped your hip with his other hand, holding you in place. You twisted your hands against the banister to steady yourself while doing just as he said, whining out when he moved his hand from between your thighs. But the wide tip of his cock pushed into you and you cried out at the sudden stretch when he filled you. A hand wrapped around your mouth to quiet you.

“You gotta keep quiet Honey.” He grunted.

Curtis waited long enough to see the tiny nod from you before dropping his hand to your throat, not tight enough to cut off air, but enough to see his fingertips press against your softer sides, feel you swallow back your cries as he picked up his thrusting pace, fucking into you hard and quick. Your body jolted against the banister in time to his movements while giving little soft cries you did your best to muffle till your mouth dropped open and you became silent. Squeezing around him so perfectly that his cock throbbed against your velvet walls.

“Curtis” You whined out his name in that needy way that confirmed what he knew; you wanted to come.

“Let me feel you soak my dick Pretty Girl.” he hissed in your ear, tilting himself once more to find your sweet spot and have you break for him.

Curtis felt it, the way you stiffened suddenly and pushed back against him. He was quick to muffle your cry as you came, slowing down enough to ride you through it, but when he felt you sag against the banister, he ran his hand at your hip to your breast, cupping through your dress and pushing you back against his chest.

“One more Honey, and I will come with you.” A kiss at your jawline was his promise to you.

This time his fingers found their way into your mouth, sucking on his digits that he had fingered you with. Feeling your tongue wrap through them and your moan made him groan into your shoulder, biting down slightly as he sped up again. Now the sound of you being fucked loud sounded through the emergency exit of the aquarium, your wet pussy squelching with every slap of his pelvis into your ass, and Curtis fought that heated spiral raging in his gut, resisting the urge to fuck his cum into you till you were ready for him.

He saw your hand loosen its hold on the banister, dropping to between your messy thighs to rub yourself, whining against his hand muffling you. “Come on Pretty Girl, get yourself off.” He hoarsely grunted in your ear while untangling his hand from your mouth back to your throat. You felt so fucking good under his body, soft and giving that he could just keep holding himself in you while you came for him.

“I gotta, please Curtis.” You pleaded with him. “Tell me your close?”

“Just keep squeezing me like that Honey.” The heat in his gut spiraled, rushing for that release. “I’m with you, fuck.”

You came again, moaning out his name once more in relief while he fucked his cum into you, burying his face into your neck to keep himself from giving the two of you away with a yell while you both found your moments of mindless bliss.

You were thankful for the banister holding you up, because Curtis was heavy behind you, holding you around your waist but still leaning into you. He groaned against you, bracing a hand against the banister next to yours to practically peel himself off your back.

“You okay?” he ghosted his lips against your neck before moving fully to a stand and easing his softened cock from you. Immediately followed by his spend, making you squeeze your thighs together briefly while he fixed your panties back in place. Heavy hands settled to your hips while he flushed kisses against any skin showing on your shoulder while you took a deep breath to clear your head of the fuzziness following an orgasm.

You felt so fucking good.

“Never better.” You eased around while he situated himself. You could see the tips of his ears were bright red as well as his neck, you imagined that flush travelled down his chest. He glanced at you and still had that dazed look like his world was just rocked in a good way, making your heart skip a beat and pride filled you that you gave him that.

“I just… fuck Honey.” He immediately reached for you, drawing you into his hold while cupping your face and kissing you with a bit of teeth scraping at your lip. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome.” You giggled as you circled your arms around his neck, accepting his affection. The embrace was cut short, a yell at the bottom of the stairwell making you both jump in surprise. Curtis took a quick glance over the banister and motioned that you two had to go. Slipping back out, he slung an arm over your shoulder and steered you out from behind the black curtain and off to a display. Keeping you tucked into his side, you both gazed at the picture of a lighthouse on Lake Superiors shore when the exit door burst open, two aquarium employees stepping out and glancing around.

“Did anyone come out from here?” One asked Curtis, you turned away, sure not to let them see your face in case your makeup was smudged from giving head.

“You know… a couple came out and headed back towards the animals.” Curtis was sure to point them away from you, sending them off before they figured out it was indeed you two. Once they were gone, Curtis took one look at your face and gave a small grin. “We need to clean you up.”

“Bathrooms should be up here a bit.” You ducked your face from other patrons and the two of you ended up near the giftshop restrooms, Curtis waiting outside while you went to go fix your smudged makeup.

When you came back out, you looked back up at him, a nervous little grin on your lips. “Better?”

“Well, I was pretty fond of the ruined look.” Curtis shrugged with a smug look. “But better. Did you want to go back in the aquarium?”

“No, I think we have gotten into plenty of fun tonight. I do want to stop in the gift shop though. See what they have, I might find something for the classroom.” You suggested and Curtis took your hand, ready to follow you.

Browsing the giftshop proved to be fun. Since most of the other people were still browsing the aquarium, there weren’t many people there. You managed to find a couple books you wanted, one for your classroom about the wildlife and habitats of the lake, the other a personal book for yourself about legends and ghost stories surrounding the lake. Curtis as well found himself a book about the lake's history to add to his expansive collection. Then you two were going through posters when you happened across one of the constellations. Curtis picked up that one too, with a pile of glowing star stickers as a Christmas gift for Sophia.

All in all, probably one of the best dates you have ever had.

#curtis everett x plus sized reader #curtis everett x honey #curtis everett and honey #curtis everett and plus sized reader #curtis everett and reader #curtis everett x reader #curtis everett and you #curtis everett x you #life is short so make it sweet #curtis everett au #snowpiercer au #chris evans characters #amber writes #sweater writes

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emilykaldwen · 1 year ago

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Hey everyone! So I meant to do this a freaking month ago when it was the first anniversary of properly working on this fic but hey! time flies. So on this Thankful Thursday (thanks for the idea, @mercurygray!), I decided to post the original end of chapter one for The Maiden and the Drowning Boy. This scene was redone and became the opener for Chapter 2, with Aegon and Abby in Rhaenys' garden, as well as the picnic date in Chapter 6. I wrote this back in mid-November before I needed to stop for surgery prep soooo I guess we're closer to the anniversary of this scene LOL

Overall, I adore both of these scenes so I wanted to share the original as a thank you for those who have been supporting me since the start.

TMatDB returns on December 8th!

A huge thank you to those who have been with me for so long, through the gif sets and the snippets as I recovered from surgery and finally got back into writing this. Thank you for finding me and loving this story, thank you for giving me the love and motivation to really put this passion project out into the world. I'm so grateful for each and every one of you!

She didn’t dare look back over her shoulder as they rushed past the sleeping stone dragon. Abby didn’t even think she could form words. Instead, she stroked her thumb over the knuckle on his hand in a circular pattern. She kept her eyes forward so as not to trip, and she felt his hand flex against hers. Then, so light she almost missed it, Abby felt the rough pad of his thumb stroke once. Twice. Three times over her pinky. Are you okay? Not really. Abby heard the faint clink of at least one guard following them, but they had enough of a head start that there was time to lose the one that either Otto or the queen dispatched in their wake.

“Wait,” she gasped, tugging on his hand to slow down as they hit the stairs so she could gather her skirt up. Aegon didn’t even stop as he reached across her to shove a handful of fabric into her hand. He was too focused on putting as much distance between him and the Hightower as fast as he could.

Betrothed. Married. To Aegon.

Abby was so overwhelmed that she didn’t even voice a protest when he yanked her into the alcove behind the tapestry at the bottom of the stairs. The thick fabric muffled the world outside, and it was dark save for the light that broke through around the edges and the worn patches visible from this side. There was enough that she could make out his flushed face, and Aegon was close enough that if she squinted hard enough, she might even make out the pale dusting of freckles over his nose. His silver hair nearly glowed in the dark.

“You’re hilarious. That was really…” He shook his head, and another laugh escaped him with the mad edge of hysteria making her shiver. He held his hands up, which was awkward because he was still holding her own, but either he’d forgotten or he didn’t care. “That was really something. You really had me fooled.”

Abby could feel her own face crinkle in confusion, and she tugged on their joined hands in hopes that he’d let go. Aegon steadfastly refused. “I’m not going to run.”

“You could.”

It was her turn to laugh, although it was a far less delicate snort while she attempted to pry his fingers off her hand. It only goaded him on. Two pairs of hands fighting to hold on and let go. He slapped her hand, and she slapped his back, which only called for more of his mad, hysterical laughter. She could just make out the sound of armor approaching, and Abby pressed her hand over his mouth to muffle him as the guard approached their hiding spot.

Aegon’s breath was heavy as he panted, then something warmer and wetter slowly dragged across her palm. She bit her lip so hard she tasted copper to muffle her startled sound, but other than that did not give him acknowledgement. Abby felt the burning flush creep further along her cheeks and up her ears before she finally glared up at the amused look he was giving her from behind her hand. She felt Aegon drag his tongue along her palm again. Childish games, as always.

“You’re ridiculous,” she hissed, finally letting go once the guard had passed and wiping her palm off on his sleeve. She was closer to him now and could smell the lingering scent of stale wine still clinging beneath the clean smell of soap. “Did Ser Criston shove you in a trough, and have them soap you down like a horse?”

He pressed a hand to his heart as if she’d wounded him and leaned forward. The last time they were this close, Aegon was maybe a hand’s width taller than her. Now, leaning forward meant he leaned over her. Damp waves of his moonlit hair fell across his forehead and into a doe-eyed gaze; lilac glittering beneath a sheen of wine and the lingering presence of tears from his laughter.

“You wound me, Lady Abrogail. It was a proper bathtub, but the water was like ice.”

“If you’re trying to intimidate me, it won’t work.” She went to cross her arms but ended up hugging herself instead as the uncertainty and confusion of what had just transpired filtered back through. “I wasn’t trying to fool anyone.”

Aegon’s eyes flashed, and she took a step back as he leaned into her even more. “Weren’t you?” His voice took on a higher pitch in mockery of her courtesy. “Oh, how lucky we are. Thanks for looking out for me, brother. No protests, not even when he was dangling the opportunity to get away right in front of you. It took me longer than I’d like to see how terrified you were.”

“Are you still drunk?”

“Is it drunk if you never stop drinking? Or just a state of being? You could ask Aemond. He’s got a new philosophy book he won’t shut up about.” Aegon rocked back on one foot and reached down to snag at the end of her embroidered belt to play with the fringed edge. “You didn’t answer my question.”

In the space between heartbeats, Abby imagined they were back in the Godswood beneath the tree. She, with the book in hand, giggling along with his running commentary on his assigned reading he was supposed to be doing – the assigned reading that she was too nice to deny doing for him. Aegon, with his head in her lap, offering her bits of cake so she wouldn’t get sticky fingers on the delicate pages.

Beneath the haze of inebriation and hysteria was that same laughing boy. It was the only reason she hadn’t left yet.

“It was the truth. I don’t want to marry Elmo Tully. I don’t know him except that he has an heir-”

“Is that what you care about? Your son inheriting a seat and power?” His expression twisted as his voice sharpened, his eyes searching her face again for something she didn’t understand.

She continued, ignoring him. “And I don’t want to go to Faircastle only to be attacked by a Greyjoy fleet and made into some salt wife, let alone be closer to my sister. She despises me.”

Aegon’s boots scraped against the flagstone, and his free hand reached for the edge of her belt. He wrapped the woven band around his hand and then unwound it. “You wouldn’t be a salt wife,” he said in a still, quiet tone. She’d heard it once before, but it did not throw her the way it had then. He watched his own hand fiddle with her embroidered belt, and she ran her thumb over his knuckle again. “Sunfyre and I would come to your rescue.”

Even as his tone dipped, Abby felt her mouth twitch as an amused smile threatened, one she tried to force away. The desire to ease the dragon claws that had descended, to soothe the sullen expression, was as instinctive to her as breathing.

“Four days at least to get a raven to King’s Landing. I’d be on a rocky outcrop in the Iron Islands by then.”

Aegon re-wrapped the edge of the belt around his hand and sharply tugged her closer. Abby stiffened immediately, her heart kicking up and something knotting tight and low in her belly. He watched her face, bitterness twisting at his mouth. “You hate me so much now, don’t you? You can’t be close to me.”

There was a painful ache in her chest. He sounded so lost, defeated. What happened before didn’t matter; it didn’t erase everything else. She felt a nagging feeling that he was trying to manipulate her, but she couldn’t ignore the genuine pain in his voice, for she knew it as well as she knew her own. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you, Aegon.”

“You were terrified in there, and your smile was so convincing.” The quiet stillness remained, and he refused to meet her eyes, despite being the one to close the distance between them.

Abby blinked as the air left her lungs to join the observation that hung in the little space left between them. She couldn’t discern if it was because she hadn’t realized that was what she had been doing, or that he’d noticed at all.

She reached up to rest her free hand along the back of the one that held her belt hostage. The warmth of his fingers felt like a balm against the coolness of her own, but she focused on stroking his hand in reassurance, allowing the movement to soothe the confusion inside of her.

“So were you. That was a brave thing you did. I couldn’t have done it.” She reached for his hand to deflect the attention from him. Maybe it was more than Aegon deserved, but that was who she was.

Aegon’s gaze snapped to hers, then caught on the reddened wound on her lower lip. Abby was relieved; she didn’t think she could bear his look right then. “So convincing you are,” he said again, but the stillness had given way to something different. A deeper tone that made the knot low in her belly tighten. “Don’t pretend with me, Abby.” Unlike everything else, his warning was unmistakable.

“It doesn’t mean I’m not still upset, and that I’m not still hurt.” She kept her own voice soft, but he scoffed just the same. The hysterical laughter was bitter now – ugly and harsh – and his eyes shone with tears as he tore his gaze from her mouth to meet her eyes. It rooted her to the spot. Abby couldn’t figure out which feeling was stronger: the urge to run, or the urge to stay.

“Terrified.” They were back to that. “Thank you, thank you, for betrothing me to a monster, right?” he whispered.

All she could do was watch him. Even though she caught him drifting closer to her, she didn’t move away. Aegon knocked his head into hers, rubbing a cheek fuzzy with stubble against her own; it reminded her of the way Theraxis would purr and rub his soft face against her cheek. A shiver of relief washed through her. She inhaled sharply and held it in before shutting her eyes and leaning her head against his. His hair tickled at her nose, and when she concentrated hard enough, she was certain she could hear his heartbeat echoing into her chest.

Once. Twice. Three times.

Are you okay?

Not really.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Aegon’s hands released her first, pushing her abruptly away from him. Her eyes flew open, but she only caught his retreating form as he left her alone.

Left her behind.

Again.

tag list: @fyeahhotdocs, @ocappreciation, @stannisfactions, @fragilestorm, @starcrossedjedis, @darkwolf76, @arrthurpendragon, @dopedaegus, @hiddenqveendom, @mantillon, @lightofthearrow, @songsonacliffside, @acrossthesestars, @insabecs, @prosemoireia, @dragonsbone, @corporalicent, @jadore-andor, @selfproclaimedunicorn, @gwenllian-in-the-abbey, @notbloodraven, @impales, @arcielee, @thesunfyre4446, @alexandria-millie

#aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen #aegon x oc #aegon targaryen x oc #aegon ii x oc #aegon targaryen fanfic #fic: the maiden and the drowning boy #oc: abrogail strong #aegon x abby #my fics

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nancypullen · 1 year ago

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I Lost My Mind

Sorry that I dropped off the face of the Earth for a bit. I have been in a holiday frenzy. I mentioned that I'll be flying down to visit my mom in Florida for a few days. What I did not consider is that taking a chunk out of the middle of December would send me into hyper-holiday prep. I felt like I needed to have EVERYTHING done before departing on the 12th. Ev-er-y-thing. So I put my head down and trimmed the tree, decorated the house, shopped, wrapped, wrote and addressed cards, wrapped some more, baked and baked, and finally checked the last task (packing and mailing a box) off my list. When I return home on the 17th my biggest worry will be preparing for the Christmas meal. I'll have a handful of days to panic. We may have tacos for Christmas dinner if I drop the ball.

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The mister had mentioned making the hour long drive up to Christiana Mall in Delaware earlier this week. I told him that if I could get everything done on my list, I could go on Thursday. I worked like a mad woman so I could go to that damn mall. I used to take malls for granted, then I moved to Dogpatch. So I met my self-imposed deadline (the last cookie was packaged at 7pm on Wednesday night) and went to bed with a heating pad and visions of shopping dancing in my head. I was not disappointed. It turned into the best day! The most wonderful part? It snowed on us! All the way to Newark we were treated to this:

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I can't even tell you how happy it made me. After our snowy trip we walked into the mall and right into a giant Barnes and Noble. Man, have I missed browsing in a brick and mortar bookstore. I made a wish list a mile long. *sigh*

Mickey and I split up and I visited Lush and bought a couple of sparkly bath bombs for my favorite 5 year old, walked a couple of stores down and picked up a little something for my sister's upcoming birthday, browsed in Pottery Barn and Williams Sonoma (swoon!), and put some mileage on my shoes poking around in numerous other shops. It was such fun, I felt like an Amish girl on rumspringa. We met for a quick lunch and then headed off to the local Trader Joe's for a few things. We didn't have snow on the way home, but at least the car smelled good from that sack of bath bombs. Tomorrow I'm volunteering at the Friends of the Library booth at Winterfest. I think I'm running the Pin the Nose on the Snowman game. I doubt it will compete with all of the bouncy houses and big stuff, but hopefully some little bookworms will find us. After the festival I'll once again become a crazy lady, cleaning this house top to bottom and getting packed for the trip. I want to come home on the night of the 17th to a house that doesn't need a thing, because we'll be hurtling right into Christmas. Note to self: never again travel in December. I know I'll have a ball in Florida. I wanted to see my mom before I start the library job and lose the freedom to travel whenever I want (I've forgotten what it's like to ask for time off!). My sister is going to join us and we'll be able to celebrate her birthday on the 15th. It'll be good for all of us, some girl time. And that, my friends, explains my absence. I'm a one-woman holiday crew. The house is pretty, the tree is sparkling, gifts are purchased, wrapped, and tagged, cookies are baked, cards are mailed, and this elf is done. Well, I say one-woman, but I am never alone. Someone is always there, watching.

See her in there, just behind the white and gold bow? I can't keep her out of there. At least she doesn't climb it. I'll try to write a bit more tomorrow, I think I'll actually have a little time. I may tromp around in the woods and look for some greenery to cut. I want to make a festive swag to hang over those ugly blinds.

Hmmm. Maybe not. Looks a little too busy. Maybe some light garland. Whatever, it's not like we're on the Christmas home tour. Until tomorrow (I hope), I hope that you're enjoying every bright and shiny bit of this season. Turn on some holiday tunes and boogie your way through your chores. That's what keeps me going.

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Stay safe, stay well, stay jolly! XOXO, Nancy

#Youtube

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astras-midnight-thoughts · 1 year ago

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It’s been months now, exactly how long I cannot remember

Since I called things quit, and put an end to the first real relationship I’d ever had. I remember being sad for a day, then no longer. Perhaps I had already mourned the loss of what we had

I wonder if you ever did?

A romance blooming in the summer, meeting is cold end in the winter. It’s fitting how that describes how things went. At first it was lovely, a warm hug, a gentle flame, passionate words that touched the heart

It became a cold feeling, disappointment when I wouldn’t hear back, shiny words that lost their luster, just unread messages on a phoneI visited you whenever I could, I brought gifts - tiny pieces of me for you to hold when I wasn’t there

I was eager to read your messages, to hear your voice; to hug you, to hold your hand, to kiss you

Two hour drive, there and back

You always said once you turned 18 you would be able to do whatever you wanted. You just couldn’t before, due to your mother. I understood.

Another two hour drive, there and back

November, then December. Things turned colder. I felt you growing distant. We were both busy, I had work and school, you had school. I always managed to reach out to you though

The words you sent back felt a bit more empty. Sent hours later, if at all.

Did we call? I can’t remember

It was nearing the end of December when I asked you to come down. My birthday was coming up, and I wanted to celebrate it with you. Your birthday was a week later.

You told me “I’d have to ask my mom”

You told me “She won’t let me, I don’t have a ride”

I told you about the bus route that could connect us, the guest bedroom all prepped, the fee I would happily pay.

You were almost 18, you could do what you wanted.

You never showed up

You were having a hard time that month

Your mom wouldn’t drive you

Your mom wouldn’t let you on that bus

And still, you were just about to turn 18.

My mom and I talked - she wasn’t happy with you at all. But I still gave you the benefit of the doubt, because

It was your 18th birthday when I realized it was time.

I waited a day or so to say anything though

I called you, explained everything, my feelings, what I’d experienced, I communicated and hoped you would understand. I was angry and disappointed and over it

“I’m sorry you felt that way”

“I’ve been having a really hard time”

“My mom wouldn’t-“

We need to take a break

“Okay”

“If that’s what you want”

You always respected my boundaries

But I’d be lying if I didn’t want you to fight me on that

To prove me wrong, to change, to promise to be better, to talk to me like you had before

But instead, it was just “okay”

You tried to continue the conversation after that, talk about something normal - like my whole world didn’t just stop.

I told you I needed to go.

As soon as I hung up I was sobbing.

I did the right thing, yet it hurt more than I ever thought it would

I ran into the arms of my mom, as I felt a pain I never had before.

Heartbreak

My very first relationship was over

I was the one who ended it

So why was I more upset that you were

My tears would dry, my anger would grow, so did my suspicions

Did you only have a girlfriend so she could love you? So that you could have comfort when you wanted it?

You talked to me when you were lonely, and shoved me to the back of your mind when you couldn’t be bothered to put in effort

A two hour drive, there and back. A trip you never even made, not once

Did you really think I was going to hang around forever- going with whatever you wanted at the time. A doting girlfriend, a missed text

At what point did you get bored?

At what point did you think that messaging me after - like you hadn’t just ripped my heart in two was a good idea.

You texted me more the week after we broke up then you had in at least a month.

Short replies is what I gave

Valentine’s Day came, I was alone yet again. What made you think I wanted a text from you with a picture of flowers in a store, saying “happy Valentine’s Day” would make me want to speak with you.

Was that you trying to get me back? What did you possibly think I was going to say back to that?

Probably not “umm thanks?”

I changed your name. It was your nickname, then it was your name.

Now it’s just your name (ex)

That was the last time I’d heard from you. I don’t know why, not for sure. I can’t say I was disappointed though

I thought it was over, yet months later, I join a social media app - and not five seconds after setting everything up did I get a notification.

You friend requested me

Ignored it for days

Until, I accepted. And waited.

After a day, and nothing, I deleted you. After all, we all make mistakes - didn’t take too long to fix them though

Yesterday I deleted our convos from my phone. I had to scroll down quite a ways, forgot they were there.

I didn’t change your name this time. But if for some reason I were to get a text from you

It would show up as (xxx) xxx xxxx

I would just say

“Sorry who is this?”

“I think you have the wrong number”

#breakup #heartbreak #feelings #first love #first relationship #writing #sad #its cryin time boies

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presidentkamala · 2 years ago

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Ok 2022 wrap up. First the good:

* killed it at work and on schedule for a huge jump in salary in january 2023

* finally let go of the worst years of my life by *gasp* leaning in2 and committing to my present self???

*moved to a banging new apartment WITH kitchen island

*volunteered for midterm campaigns

*went to chicago, cincinnati, honolulu and st. louis

*READ like 80% more this year than last year (the bar was the like 2 books i picked at and didnt finish last year but still improvement)

*more consistent with skincare routine

*hit 50k in my one savings acct in accordance w financial goals

THE BAD:

*didnt learn a new language, instrument, to code, pottery, or anything. Was grinding at work and not much else

*health took a backseat: too much doordash no fitness plan or even much activity

*didnt make any new friends

*stagnated in other areas. No volunteering for causes i care abt or even at community garden. mUST CHANGE THIS IN 2023

*struggled to stay consistent with much of anything. Scatterbrained for most of the year

THE UGLY:

*lost all muscle tone due to nothing other than lack of care

*no motivation. No real direction. No real sense or vision of the future i want and am working towards. No effort in the places where it counted

*phone and screen addiction. BIG TIME. losing hrs to this that i should be using to get out there and meet ppl and actually improve my quality of life LOL.

*deep-seated suspicion that im not well-liked at work bore out late this year. Not super pleased since that's been my main focus. Probably connected to this other stuff.

*loss of basic intellectual curiosity. In complete survival mode for the first 8 months of the year. Self is almost unrecognizable in many ways.

THE RESOLUTIONS:

I've spent the month of december devoting myself to prepping for the big three resolutions that i feel will have the biggest impact on my immediate health and wellbeing. I did a recipe plan for every day of december and gave myself a zero doordash/restaurant rule but no other real restrictions on what recipes i make and that's gone super well in terms of re-integrating cooking regularly back into my life and even enjoying it! I think in february im going to start paying more attention to making sure im incorporating the plate method to ensure im getting the right proportion of protein veg and carbs into my diet but for now its all about finding recipes that taste good and that i can sustainably replicate etc. I've been doing a lot to make sure im brushing my teeth and doing my skincare routine at least every morning so im going to start bumping up my evening care in January as well. I also downloaded the none2run app to get me up to a 5k which at least lays out the calendar of what i need to do and im on week 2?? I think of the beginner exercises before starting the runs in earnest. I've deep cleaned my apartment and kitchen and have been regularly washing my clothes and doing the dishes instead of letting it all pile up. All of these changes in routine have been gradual over the last 5 weeks or so but its already paying dividends and i love the idea of prepping for resolutions and planning them out so i don't lose track as the year progresses:

*Journal at least once a week (minimum 52 entries by this time next year)

*Develop nourishing recipes you actually enjoy and can replicate. Limit restaurants to once a week (non-holiday) or 3 times a week (with holidays)

*complete none2run 5k.

*sign back up for barre classes at least once a week (non-travel)

*on work travel, complete youtube pilates vid at least twice a week

*this is the year to tackle skin texture and pores. Set up derm appt in January

*complete liftoff program for beginner weightlifting beginning in June.

*volunteer for minimum 2 hrs each week. For anything.

*volunteer for dems at least once this year.

*SEE A FUCKING PSYCHIATRIST

*take one extra-curricular class

*check in quarterly on goals

*take one international trip

2023: We are being specific and intentional!!!!!

#2023 resolutions

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tdcloud · 2 years ago

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2022 Retrospective and a Look Ahead to 2023 (blog#12)

And now it’s December, and we’ve reached the final blog post for the year. Somehow I managed to keep this up for a full twelve months! I’m as shocked as you are, though I have to confess it took me a while to decide on a topic for this last installment for 2022. There are so many things I could and will talk about, but what tripped me up was the notion that this entry needed to be special, something different. I wanted to reward us all for reaching this milestone. It took some time to figure out what would work for that, but just like December hitting us full force with terrible Christmas music and present-buying anxiety, it came to me in the end, so here we are, and here we go.

The topic du jour this month is 2022 and 2023. It’s both a look back at what I’ve done this year as well as a sneak peek ahead at my goals and writing schedule for the next year. Now, anyone who knows me knows I’m not good at praising myself. I’ve written all these books, published and unpublished, and yet nothing ever feels like an accomplishment. It’s been my New Year’s resolution so many years in a row, and it’s one I consistently fail to address because… well, I just don’t know how to fix that. I went to Yougei asking him what I should write for this, and he immediately said “Do a reflection on all you’ve done this year.” I then responded, “All that would be is me complaining about not doing enough.” It’s a problem, that sort of mentality. I’m recognizing it here, and despite my knee jerk reaction that a topic like that wouldn’t be worth doing, I’ve decided to do it anyway. Because I have made strides! I have accomplished things! Let’s talk about them!

I think most obvious and present in my mind when it comes to accomplishments right now is Carnival, my October novella event winner. It’s done, it’s posted, and by and large, it seems to have been a success. I always stress over these events specifically because it’s… you know, a pretty huge undertaking. I have so many people who ask me if I do NaNoWriMo and I just stare at them like… first, I don’t need a month to write a novel, I do it on the regular, and second… That’s literally what October is for me every year. I bite off a lot to make this event happen for my patrons. The story may only be 5-6 chapters, but they average these days anywhere between 70-90 pages. I’ve stopped trying to write them all piecemeal in October—when I only wrote them to be around 4-5 chapters, that was more doable, but anymore, I need some extra time to prepare, plan, and get a head start if I want the end product to be the best it can possibly be given the circumstances under which it was written. I don’t tend to feel proud of myself when I finish writing something, but I do feel satisfied when these projects come to an end. It’s me testing myself on my flexibility, creativity, and perseverance. If I come out with time to spare, it’s a huge win, and this year, I managed to do just that with Carnival. A lot of the time, I’m still writing into October.

But beyond the obvious and most recent thing, what else have I accomplished this year? Well, I’m unreasonably negative towards myself when I fail to publish something. I’ve got so many things active and ready for it, but I can’t always get my way when it comes to finding an artist with time to spare, or if my editor is bogged down with their own projects. A lot of things conspired to throw a wrench in my plans this year, but I did manage to prepare two stories for publication—all I’m waiting for is art. When I’ve got that locked and loaded, all I have to do is send out for proofs and hit publish. I managed this year to prep so much content. Even if nothing managed to come to fruition for 2022, I’ll be able to hit the ground running in 2023. We’ll have a few rapid-fire releases that way, and I’ll be in a great position to finish some high-profile projects and get ahead for once in my never-ending schedule.

Given how much I work and put on my own plate, I’m not always in the best position to help out other people with their own projects. I was able to help Sun, one of my dearest and most valued friends, with her new A Little Rain Oracle Deck, and honestly, that’s probably the accomplishment I’m most proud of. She asked for help during my busiest month (September, when I’m in the deepest of hell-deadlines for the October novella), and I managed to completely rewrite and revise her guidebook with time to spare for her own deadlines. She’s announced and ended her pre-order, but there’s still time to check out this beautiful deck and see how to grab a copy for yourself. Help support Sun by checking out her website: https://ambisunart.com/shop/

Beyond all of that, I’ve made great strides in my ongoing projects. My Patreon serial, my monthly novella rotations, and all the other projects I’m working on in the background have progressed on schedule. I’m not behind in anything beyond Hiraeth (more on that later), and I’m actually finishing up the last few chapters of Apotheosis this month so I can get a head start on my next serial early, thus allowing myself even more time in the future for things not on my monthly rotation list. It’s hard to do double-chapters for large projects each month, but I’m trying to view it as an investment in future-me. The more I can churn through now when I’ve got some holiday downtime, the more I’ll be able to take my time in the future when I need to take my time. If I prep and stockpile chapters now, I’ll be in a better position when I inevitably get sick, go to conventions, or have a bad productivity month later on.

And I do plan on doing more conventions. This year saw me attending and tabling at my first long-distance convention. I flew to Minnesota and tabled with my lovely friend Jack, something I never thought I’d be able to do given the logistics of transporting heavy books via airplane. I made it happen, and it worked! I reached an entirely new audience who hadn’t been privy to my work, and I intend to do it again in the future. I’ve reached new horizons and tested the boundaries of what I thought was possible when selling my work in person. It’s an accomplishment for sure, even if it’s not an obvious one in terms of publication or writing. What I do is considered a small business. I’m not just the talent—I’m the salesperson, the marketer, the graphic designer, the agent. Pushing the boundaries of where I take my business is so important, and while Covid is still very much a thing (y’all better still be masking!) conventions are reaching a state of equilibrium again. I’m excited to try my hand at new conventions I’ve never been to before. Hopefully, I’ll get to meet more of you while I do it!

But what about next year? I know I’ve teased a lot of future projects over this past year, but I haven’t been able to give too many concrete dates or time frames for a lot of them. Most of you don’t really know how I schedule or plan out my projects when it comes to publication timelines. I’m very organized, as you can imagine (sarcasm) and I have it all on a sticky notes app on my desktop.

This is sort of my tally chart on how projects are progressing, how much more is left on them, and it gives me general goalposts to aim for as I move forward. I also have a sticky note just for my monthly commitments as well.

This is more a to-do list that gets deleted as I check things off the list, and then the chapter tally is updated on the main screenshot from before. I’ve also got an actual paper schedule notebook where I schedule out my weeks in terms of what project gets worked on when, and when stories conclude, when they go on pause (like in the case of October, every project tends to stop updating except for the novella event offering), and when new stories get to begin.

Of course, I’m always running behind. In an ideal world, I’d keep to my schedule exactly and finish everything in the least amount of time necessary, but I get sick sometimes, or a family member gets sick, or my convention schedule gets hectic and I lose entire weeks to prepping and traveling and recovery, or holidays happen and my family monopolizes me, or any other numerous setbacks that happen when you live your life. In an ideal world, I’d publish 2-3 times a year. In 2022 alone, I wanted to publish Infaust, Ossuary, and even if there was time, one of the vigilante books. Unfortunately, this year was a busy, hectic year. My usual artists can’t drop everything for me, and I wouldn’t expect or ask them to. When you work independently like this, you just have to get used to having your self-imposed deadlines break.

But when I’m in a lean year like this, I don’t stop working towards publication. If anything, I do even more so that when I do have covers ready, I can hit the ground running. I do all the formatting. I pre-make promotional material. I spend money I would’ve earmarked for cover art on commissioned character art to generate interest, and I dedicate time I would’ve lost in publication hell towards other projects. Do you see how many things I’ve got in my Edit Block up there? I’ve been able to finish and stockpile so many completed manuscripts over the course of 2022. My editor, NIL, has already recreationally read at least half of these offerings. We’ll be able to start 2023 in a great position when it comes to the vigilante series since we’ve both spent so much time poking around on the documents as it is, and Nil’s has already been able to give me a head start on my personal edits for Lambent and Carnival as well, so when we get around to working on those titles seriously, a lot of the bigger issues will already be taken care of.

So, what does that mean in terms of what to expect in 2023? Well, the delightful and supremely skilled AmbiSun (illustrator and graphic designer behind The Tempest Series) will be returning to make Ossuary, the cursebreaker witch/elder vampire erotic horror novella, a reality! She’ll be sending me thumbnails this month and we should have a completed cover before we hit March. Expect a spring release on that title, and more information and teasers around then!

I know I’ve been teasing Infaust over the past few months, and this book is just a good representation of how my intense work schedule doesn’t always translate well for others. I’ve got an insanely talented artist on board for this Pied Piper inspired dark romance, but working around our schedules and fitting things into our busy lives has proved challenging. I’d wanted to release this book back in June, but it’s looking now like it’ll be a 2023 release, perhaps before Ossuary, but maybe after it. We’re playing it by ear, and that’s fine. I will tell you guys that I do have some fun publication plans for this book when it does drop! I really want to do more for pre-orders, and I’m working right now on making a pre-order book release bundle that will hopefully become the norm when I release full books (not novellas, though we may do something fun for compilations like the vigilante trio.) The goal is to have a cute themed box of goodies to go along with the new book. This will likely involve some character manjuu, a sticker sheet, mini prints, and perhaps even acrylic standees or charms! All of the merch will be available for individual purchase after the book drops, but we may have some exclusives just for early birds.

Here’s where we get a little indulgent and pretend that I can concretely deliver on three releases in one year. Following these two books, my publication team and I are planning on going all in when it comes to the vigilante novella trio. If you haven’t read my vigilante teaser blog, go do that now so you know what you’re waiting for! Like I said in that blog, I’ll be working with @skelefarts (or Skeletal Creature, as I think Linden told me she wanted to be known as for the book credentials) over on Twitter when it comes to art. The current plan is to focus on editing all three novellas, starting with Pride/Stray (still using the working titles for ease of the team). Once NIL and I are done editing it and have it all formatted, Linden will do her art while we set in on the next manuscript, leap-frogging it like that so we’re always editing, drawing, and publishing until we’re through with all three novellas. Usually, I have to stop everything when I’m working on late-stage publication, but we’ve all spent enough time with these novellas that it shouldn’t take too much focus to get them out. If we’re lucky, expect Pride/Stray in late 2023 and the other two in early-to-mid 2024. A merch box for all three titles may follow the final publication, but that’ll be dependent on how the Infaust box does.

I would say this is all you can expect currently when it comes to physical releases, but that’s not all you have to look out for. My Patreon is always chock-full of so many ongoing digital releases to tide you over in between physical publications. My current Patreon serialized novel Apotheosis, the prequel to Letifer and the second installment in my Dark Vagaries vampire series, will end by April of 2023. It’ll likely be a 2024 release and be given high priority since it’s part of my main ongoing series. I don’t expect its publication deadline to move around much, barring some major life event occurring or my DVerse artist, Y. Dan (Yougei) needing more time to get the cover out. Either way, you can read it on Patreon right now for just $5 a month. In fact, you can read literally all of these stories right now on Patreon if you’re too impatient to wait for physical releases XD Their first drafts are up, and while they may be missing a chapter or two here, they’re still good representations of what you have to look forward to as my team works on publication.

Since Apotheosis ends in April, May will start off the next serialized work, a rewrite of Aubade, a Norse fantasy story. I wrote up a blog post about this story a couple months back, so if you want a teaser on what to expect from it, I highly suggest checking that out. The current goal right now is to finish writing Apotheosis before New Year’s so I can spend January-May churning through my rewrite portions of Aubade (the first eight or so chapters). The following 4-5 new, additional chapters will be written monthly, thus allowing me to schedule most of the book to auto-release on Patreon while I dedicate my time to finishing other projects I normally wouldn’t have time for while balancing a monthly serial like this. I’m also excited to announce here that a really talented artist will be working with me for this Patreon release! He’s asked to be kept anonymous, but I’ll tell you that he’s a huge fan of Aubade, has been for a long time now, even though I really don’t like the fic version much these days. He’s been champing at the bit in hopes of me picking the story back up and, as a show of his diehard love of the story, has offered to make illustrations for every chapter of the Patreon release, as well as a Patreon cover for the story, too. It’s going to make for a very immersive, very thoughtful exploration of this book, and I really can’t wait for January to come so we can begin our collaborative rewrite of this emotionally challenging story.

I also do a monthly patron pick poll on Patreon, one where I keep up a monthly rotation of several different short story/novella concepts that update based on my patrons’ tastes. We’ve currently got three on rotation, a Gladiatrix/Noblewoman lesbian romcom that will end after one more chapter, a spiritual sequel/tie-in to a previous novella poll option currently titled The Raven King involving courtship through mutual story telling and folkloric creatures beyond our ken, and one with the working title Courtly Love, another romcom set in a pseudo-Arthurian setting with a romantic, hesitant troubadour and the inexperienced prince determined to get this guy to make a move before it’s too late for either of them to act on the flirtations they’ve been exchanging for close to a decade. The latter two won’t begin until next year—everyone has really been feeling these sweaty Roman lesbians—and a third option will likely be added then too, since I like having three on rotation. I haven’t yet decided what I’ll add to the poll just yet, but it’s always a banger and always a ton of fun.

Similar to the patron poll options, my October Novella Event for 2023 will come as it always does, and voting on the story will begin around May or June, just to give me some extra time to plan and get a head start on things. As of right now, the poll options for that event will include the two losers from this year, a sequel to Ossuary named Reliquary that is pretty dead dove XD and another, final installment in the vigilante-verse involving a milfy they/them ditz of a villain and a young, yandere-in-the-making hero who enjoys being held hostage a little too much, a sort of pseudo-horror romance involving the ringleader of a carnival of the dead and a denizen of Limbo who refuses to fall victim to his whims (kinda Corpse Bride-meets-Mushishi flavored, if that gives you some vibes to consider), and something else I haven’t come up with yet. I’m sure I’ll do more teaser blogs about these and other works once I get closer to actually working on them. Just fun stuff to keep in mind, and hopefully you’ll be enticed enough to join us in October for the big reveal!

And finally, the last project I want to discuss is the one I keep getting grilled on: Hiraeth. The final installment of The Tempest Series has been a thorn in my side for several years now, and I’ve offered about as many excuses as I can on why it still isn’t done yet. I just want to reiterate that I WILL finish this story. It will not be scrapped or canceled. It’s going to be published. As you can see in my sticky notes, it is on my radar and always, always, ALWAYS on my mind. The issues I’m having are namely of my own making, but as I said before, I’m always running behind, and with Patreon rotations that have to be published on a schedule, I’m forced to prioritize some projects at the detriment of others. Earlier this year I managed to squeeze in a chapter of Hiraeth into my monthly rotation, but as soon as I had to begin working on my October novella on top of that, something had to give. My goal is to keep Hiraeth on my schedule until it’s done or I’m forced to, once again, let something slide so I’m able to meet my monthly commitments. Given I’m so close to the end of this book, I think the former is more likely than the latter. The SECOND this story is done, it is going to supersede anything else my editor is working on for me. We’re going to beat it into shape and get it ready for publication, but when it’ll be published… I can’t say just yet. It’s going to depend on Sun’s availability, as always, but please know that this book will become my top priority the moment the draft is done. Until then, it’s always going to be the thing I push to the back burner because I have a monetary commitment to prioritize my Patreon offerings first, and while I did toy with the idea of making Hiraeth a serial on there, I opted to not since it’s too wrapped up in lore, previous installments, and context to work as a standalone for anyone on there who hasn’t read the whole series yet.

Please keep in mind I work a full time job and update roughly 50-60 pages a month publicly and another 30-40 that you don’t see. I’m not annoyed or frustrated that I keep getting questions about Hiraeth—to be honest, I’m just psyched that people care and are that excited to finally get to read it. I’m more frustrated at myself for taking this long on something that should’ve been done back in like, 2019. I’m going to do it, though. My Aubade rewrite sprint at the beginning of 2023 will free me up significantly, and I intend to use that time wisely by prioritizing this book again as much as I’m able to. I don’t think I’ll be able to publish in 2023, but my ultimate goal for this work is to give you guys a release date for 2024, or at the very least, confirm that the book is done and that all we’re waiting on is clearance for art before we announce when to expect it.

But that’s enough on that. You guys probably look at all these ongoing and future projects and think I’m insane, but honestly, this is how I work, this is how I update, and I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t give myself unrealistic standards and deadlines. I like having a full plate, and when I have lots of ideas, I don’t always like waiting years for their turn to come. Sometime I’ll show you guys more of my monthly planning strategies and maybe even show you guys how I format my physical schedule. To me, this is all very manageable so long as I don’t fall behind. It’s when I get sick or miss a weekend that things get stressful. Maybe that’ll be my next resolution for 2023—give myself even more padding for when things inevitably do happen to me, because even with all of these stockpiling tricks I’m pulling, it’s still likely to happen regardless.

Let’s turn to some questions now and see what else people are excited about for 2023. Questions come from Instagram and Twitter this time!

How do you do prior research and gather references to make your work more “real”?

More writing questions! Fun fun. Well, I mean, I read books and look for articles on the topics. It really depends on the sort of research you’re doing. If it’s something in a historical setting, you should be researching the fuck out of things—if that’s something you feel is important. There are plenty of people writing “historical” fiction where it’s just a setting, not anything more. Do you care about being accurate? If so, then read everything you can find about the time period itself. Find diaries, since those are great for actually hearing how people lived their day-to-day lives, and look for resources that can add flavor to your worldbuilding, like historical cookbooks or books/articles targeted towards taking you through the day of whatever class or group of people you’re writing about. You want to get boots on the ground, essentially, because just reading a history book won’t tell you how a person lived, just what they lived through.

If you’ve got access to JSTOR, you’re a lucky bastard. Use it and download as many articles as you can. If you don’t, hit up your local library. There are reference librarians who can find articles and books for you via WORLDCAT or interlibrary loan, and I’d recommend being pretty upfront with them when it comes to what you’re trying to write. My mother is a librarian and you’d be shocked what sorts of goldmines they’re able to uncover once they get going. Also, when I was in college, I asked my professors LOTS of questions when I was writing stories set in their areas of focus. If you’ve got access to an expert in the field, use them. I’ve served as a historical consultant before for comic authors—though I’d hazard to call myself an “expert.” Just… don’t be too shy to tell someone like that what you’re trying to do. You don’t have to tell your Medieval History professor “Hey, I’m writing a gay erotica about a viking and volva, can you tell me more about things that pertain to that?” Have some tact, if you think they’ll care or whatever, but just tell them you’re working on a personal project and could use more context. They’ll tell you everything they know, or be a great resource when it comes to pointing you towards other resources instead.

I’d also suggest setting your story in a place you’re familiar with, if you’re basing it in a real world place. That’s not always possible though—and God knows I’ve never been to France XD—but if you don’t have real world experience in the location you’re setting a story in, you’re going to have to do even more research to level the playing field, because a reader who DOES know about that location will drag your ass for inconsistencies—I’ve got a European reader who corrected me for having two French characters drink tea with milk in it. Find someone who lives there or has a lot of experience being there to read over your work and tweak it for issues, interview people about their own experiences, and like, Google Earth is a thing. You can literally take a walk down a Parisian street to see what a character sees. I can’t tell you how many walking tours I watched on Youtube to get a feel for the public portions of the Catacombs as well. The more you know and have seen of your setting, the more authentic your descriptions will be and feel.

Finally, while I don’t believe in only “writing what you know,” I still suggest you write within your wheelhouse. If you know nothing about the Industrial Revolution and you don’t really care to learn about it beforehand, maybe don’t set your story during that time if the setting itself is a big area of focus in the story. There’s no shame in giving your fantasy a historical bend to it. It gives you a lot more wiggle room and more grace in terms of the finicky little details that may give you away. I guess… just identify what your goal is in telling the story. Are you trying to make it accurate? Do you want people to come out of reading it learning new things? If so, put in the work. If not, then don’t sweat it, but also don’t sell it as accurate historical fiction.

Ultimately, what makes a story feel “real” can come from the setting, but largely, it’ll come from how realistic and authentic you make your characters feel. The more you demonstrate this person is a well rounded character with thoughts, feelings, and goals of their own, the more the reader will feel immersed and find the story believable. Don’t just write a character—write a person. The set dressing will help us understand them, but I’d ignore the presence of a tomato in 14th century Europe a lot easier if the character I’m reading about feels tangible.

Is there any trope in fiction that you love but might not have written yet?

Hmm well I’m pretty good about writing things that I like or want to try exploring, clearly XD But off the top of my head, I really want to do some noir inspired works sometime, as well as more detective stories. One of my favorite type of stories to read are locked door mysteries, the sort of mystery where someone is murdered in a locked room and you have to try to figure out who did it and how—sort of like Clue meets Agatha Christie.

I’m also a fan of arranged marriages/political marriage tropes, and while I’m sort of satisfying some of those requirements with Apotheosis, I haven’t gotten to truly explore that trope just yet. I’ve also got a divisive relationship with isekai type stories, but I lowkey have plans I want to explore for a story involving alternate realities and a character being brought into a world that seems familiar but has a few marked differences. I’m toying with some story notes as we speak but I don’t have anything concrete enough planned for any sort of formal write-up or teaser just yet.

What conventions are you going to next year?

Great question! I do try to keep my Events tab on my website up-to-date as I make plans and get into alleys, but as of right now, I’ll be at Anime Crossroads in February (Indianapolis), Anime Minneapolis in May (Minneapolis), Colossalcon in June (Sandusky), and Youmacon in November (Detroit). I’ll be for-sure tabling at the first three (Colossalcon likely just the traditional Thursday), with Youma still being a TBA. I’ve also applied for Matsuricon, ACEN, and will be trying for JAFAX, Anime Iowa, and perhaps a few other smaller Michigan conventions as well. One of my goals for 2023 is to try applying to more conventions outside my normal rotation. Wish me luck on all these lotteries and juries!

It’s been a great year, now that I’m reading over all of this. I’ve made new friends, worked with new people, explored new topics, and set myself up for some really great launches next year. I’m entering a new era of my business and creative life as I attempt new things and try different dynamics within my fiction, and I’m really excited to start offering more merch in new and fun ways.

I hope you guys had a good 2022 despite, y’know, everything bad that’s done it’s best to stain it for everyone. We’re not living in easy times. We’re actively challenged every single day to get out of bed and keep our heads high, to move forward with what makes us happy while life around us conspires to drag us down. Fiction is an escape and always has been. It can be hard to get the words on paper some days with the news beating down on the back of my head, but it’s an escape for you guys, and for me as well. It’s… important. Silly little stories are important. If I’ve been able to give any of you some levity in darkness, I’m glad. It makes it all worth it, and I hope you’ll stick by me for another year as we continue to laugh and cry and shout at these stupid characters as they fall in love again and again and again.

Thank you for 2022. Let’s say hello again in 2023, and make it a good year, even if we have to do it ourselves by any means possible.

Until next time,

T.D. Cloud

#author blog #blog #2022 recap

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