#And I need time to prep for this trip in December

[elixirfromthestars]

Dancing Embers

Pairing: 1940s!Bucky Barnes x Nurse!Reader

Summary: A cozy cabin, the love of your life, and the warmth of a fire. What more could you ask for on a cold winter night?

Word Count: 1.3k

Warning(s): none. pure fluff. slight insinuation at the end. female reader.

Prompt/Event: @the-slumberparty december daze -> a crackling fire sets the mood

a/n: This piece is written as a standalone. However, I will link below the pairing this fic is based on in case you want to read more of them. For context, this timeline is one where Bucky made it back from the war safe and sound and is enjoying his life now that the war is over. Thank you for reading! ₊˚⊹♡ Likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated!! ♡♡♡

how their love story began ♡ || fluffy winter drabbles masterlist ❆

The hum of the radio travels through the air and finds its way into the kitchen where you’re placing tonight’s dinner in the oven. A puff of hot air caresses your face as you close the oven door, the casserole dish cocooned inside by a blazing heat. You pick up the small timer from the counter and twist the dial, setting it for thirty minutes. 

Now, you have to find something to do to pass the time…

You look around the unfamiliar kitchen, its rustic woodsy furnishing a cozy contrast to the one in your apartment in the city. A smile makes its way to your face as you recall how Bucky surprised you with this weekend getaway. It was after you came home from a shift at the children’s clinic—exhaustion heavy in your bones. An exhaustion he eased with a homecooked meal and a plethora of loving kisses. All leading up to the surprise of a weekend trip just for the two of you, presented to you with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a handwritten note.

You started packing right away after that. 

While still ruminating on the joy of the memory, you begin to tidy up the mess in the kitchen—the one left from your dinner preparations. There wasn’t much to clean up—bits of leftover ingredients here and a few prep dishes there—but at least it gives you something to do while the timer counts down in the background. 

Out of the blue, a frosty air embraces you from behind. You let out a small squeal as the arms that usually radiate warmth are bitterly cold against your skin. A sharp intake of breath escaping you at the contact.

“Bucky, you’re freezing!” you say with concern and caught off guard by the piercing chill of his hands. How long had he been out in the cold? 

“Not anymore,” he mutters a response as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, his icy lips pressing kisses into your skin. A shiver goes down your spine as the frost on his lips melts away into a heat that you’re used to. 

You twist in his arms to face him, pulling him even closer by his wool jacket to kiss the tip of his reddened nose, hoping to bring warmth back to it. Bucky grins at you with a gentle adoration, even more so when you brush off the remnants of winter from his hair and shoulders. His eyes take in your every feature like he wants to commit this moment to memory. 

When it comes to you, he always does. There’s never been a moment with you he doesn’t hold dear in his heart. His time at war taught him to treasure every second he gets with those he loves most. And of course, as the love of his life, that includes you. 

“I’m going to need more than that to warm up, doll,” he claims playfully, before connecting his lips to yours, pulling you flush against him by your waist. Your arms eagerly wrap around his shoulders, melting into him faster than the snow on his body does. The kiss is sweet, yet profound as if the hour spent apart had been entirely too long for the both of you. 

When the kiss has restricted enough air from your lungs, you both pull away only slightly and out of breath, smiling from ear to ear. You collect yourself enough to say, “Dinner should be ready soon.” Bucky, however, has his attention elsewhere as he plants a soft kiss to your forehead, your nose, and then your lips once more. 

“Sounds. Good. Doll,” he mumbles the words between kisses that leave you in a fit of giggles. A sound that almost drowns out the grumbling of his stomach. 

“Someone’s hungry.”

“Mm, chopping lumber will do that to you.”

“Chopping lumber?”

“For the fireplace. I should probably go and get it started.”

Bucky lets out an exaggerated sigh, not entirely keen on going back out into the cold night. He presses a tender kiss to the top of your head before reluctantly detaching his arms from your waist as he heads back outside. He spends the next few minutes hauling in pieces of wood into the living room where he tends to the fireplace. Meanwhile, you get the dining table ready for your dinner for two. 

As you are on the brink of finishing setting up, you notice the radio gets louder—a slow song replacing the previous hum. It’s not long before Bucky comes back into the kitchen, however, this time he’s swaying slowly to the rhythm of the music. There’s a glimmer in his eyes as his hands outstretch to beckon you to him. 

“Dance with me,” he says, taking hold of your hands and placing them on his shoulders. You laugh softly, looking at him with fond mirth. “Maybe later, sweetheart. Dinner’s almost ready,” you mention, glancing at the mechanical timer that would go off in a few minutes.

Bucky shakes his head, watching as your hands slide down from his shoulders, but before they can go anywhere, he swiftly intertwines them with his own. He uses this small leverage to begin coaxing you out of the kitchen and into the living room with gentle tugs. “Dinner can wait, doll. I want to dance with my best girl first,” he replies, his expression full of pleading affection. 

You can never say no when he looks at you like that. 

You throw the image of the timer to the back of your head and follow Bucky into the center of the living room. To your right, the fireplace crackles beautifully with bright embers, cascading the room in an amber glow. To your left, the coffee table, handcrafted in oak, is pushed up against the sofa, giving you enough space by the fireplace to dance. 

Bucky’s hands find purchase at your waist as he anchors you closer. Your hands settle against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your fingertips. Soon your hips and his gradually sway in sync, letting the melody of the song guide you. 

You hold each other close for what seems like a lifetime, the heat of the fire amplifying the warmth that radiates between you. Its flames flicker alongside you as if slow dancing themselves. The serenity of the moment forever engraves itself into your heart. 

“I love you, Y/n. I can’t wait for the rest of our lives to start,” Bucky’s voice is full of devotion, bringing your left hand up to his lips to kiss the spot right where your engagement ring is. You look at him as if he hung the moon for you, “I love you too, Bucky. Forever can’t come soon enough.” Your hands snake up to wrap behind his neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss, the kind that consumes as quickly as a spark catches fire. However, before the intensity can reach a boiling point, a loud ringing suddenly breaks it. The timer in the kitchen signaling whatever desires were igniting would have to be put on pause until after dinner. 

“Dinners ready,” neither of you are ready to break apart when you whisper this. A beat passes and Bucky lifts your chin gently with his finger, so your gaze locks with his adoring one.

“One more kiss.”

“The casserole is going to burn.” 

“Just one more?”

There he goes again with that pleading expression you can’t resist. 

“You know it won’t be just one more, James Buchanan Barnes,” you point out and he lets out a hearty chuckle. 

“You know me so well Mrs.Barnes-to-be.” 

He kisses you again anyway���short and sweet—leaving you with a promise for more to hold onto. Your laughter mixes with his as you lead him back to the kitchen. He hugs you from behind one last time as he whispers an enticing promise into your ear. 

“After dinner, I’m having you for dessert.” 

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Why is November blazing by so quickly STOP—

[onlyhereforthestories]

Turkey Farm Traditions (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

Day 23! This is a tradition of mine and my dads. I have never not gone to get the turkey with him on Christmas eve, and yes I'm going tomorrow! Anyone got any traditions they love?

The festive season was well underway, and with it came the cold weather. Normally, you thrived in the chill, finding comfort in the crisp air and cozy nights. But this year, the winter cold only made everything seem a little sadder because of the situation you were in.

You had always gone home for Christmas. No matter what was happening in your life, you always made the trip back to England for the holidays, at the very least. But not this year. This year, you would be spending Christmas in Spain with your girlfriend of five years, Alexia.

It was the first year Alexia had expressed her dislike of spending the season apart, and she asked if you would be okay with having Christmas Day at your shared home in Spain. She had even offered to fly your parents and sister, along with her family, out to celebrate together. But you knew that wouldn't be practical.

You didn't want to spend Christmas apart from Alexia either, so you agreed. You also spoke with your mum about visiting them for the New Year instead, since there was a long gap in fixtures for your club team. They were understanding and happy to have you visit then, even suggesting that you could do a little "mini Christmas" together. That idea was more than comforting—it was a lifeline.

With Alexia's help, you managed to get all the gifts for your family sent off in time, so you knew they'd be arriving for the big day. Your joint gifts were all double wrapped for safety by Alexia, as she was always the more organized one when it came to packaging. Once that was done, you felt a little better about not being with them for the holiday.

What also helped ease the feeling was the fact that you would be hosting Alexia's mother and sister for the day. Something that terrified you, to be honest.

Both women adored you, as you did them, but there was something about Christmas that made you want everything to be perfect. The holiday had always been very special to you, and you wanted to honour that, especially in your own home.

The month of December passed in a blur. Before you knew it, you were waking up in the arms of your lover on Christmas Eve morning. The winter sun crept through a crack in the curtains, gently warming your face as you dozed peacefully, your head resting on Alexia’s neck.

“Buenos días, mi amor. We have to get moving if you want food and coffee before we need to leave,” Alexia murmured, her fingers running through your hair, her voice a soft, sleepy hum.

You almost didn’t hear her, still lost in the comfort of her touch. “Good morning, love,” you said, blinking sleepily. “What do you mean leave? Where are we going? I thought I had food to prep for tomorrow.”

You pulled yourself out of the comfortable cocoon of her neck and raised an eyebrow at the teasing smirk on her face.

“I was tasked with the turkey, sí?” she said, her smile widening as you nodded. You'd been so absorbed in your thoughts that you didn’t catch the next part.

“Well, I spoke to your dad because I know you told me you normally drive to the farm to collect the turkey with him on Christmas Eve,” Alexia continued, her voice soft but steady. “He told me he’s done it with you since you were a baby. So, I found a farm about 45 minutes away here that does turkeys. We need to go collect it before noon.”

You didn’t know what to say. A wave of emotion swept over you, and your eyes welled with tears, but you tried to blink them back, not wanting to ruin the moment. You buried your head in her neck again, overwhelmed by her thoughtfulness.

“Thank you… thank you so much,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Alexia simply held you closer, her hands soothing as you fought to regain control of your emotions. This was a Christmas tradition you had always shared with your dad, and the fact that Alexia remembered and made it happen for you here, in Spain, meant more than you could put into words.

When you finally pulled yourself together, you kissed her deeply, pouring all your gratitude into the kiss. You knew if you tried to speak, you would only choke up.

Alexia, smiling softly, kissed you back with equal tenderness, pulling you closer when she wasn’t quite ready to let go. You spent a few more precious moments tangled up in each other, sharing lazy kisses and soft touches, until Alexia playfully pulled you out of bed and towards the kitchen.

The trip to the farm was a joy. You sang Christmas carols along with the radio, the warmth of the car and the company of Alexia making the ride feel almost magical. The festive farm was everything you hoped it would be, warm and cozy, with the scent of hay and pine in the air. Alexia’s face lit up as she saw the decorations, and you couldn’t help but smile at how happy she seemed. She even hummed along to a few of the carols as you drove there.

On the way back, Alexia managed to distract you while she dialled your dad's number. It wasn't until you heard his comforting voice, coming through the car’s speaker system, that you noticed the music had stopped.

“Merry Christmas, kiddo,” your dad’s deep voice boomed through the speakers. “I’m guessing you’ve got the turkey by now. Alexia said she’d call when you were heading back. It’s my turn to drive this year, but I’m glad you have someone to share the tradition with. Love you.”

The words made your heart swell, and you spoke with him for a few minutes before promising to call again on Christmas Day. You spoke to both your dad and Alexia until you reached home, where you could hear the turkey cooking already.

When you arrived home, all you could do was launch yourself at Alexia. She had taken a tradition so deeply rooted in your childhood and made it her own, blending your past and present together in a way you hadn't imagined possible. You felt incredibly blessed.

You knew that the present you had for her was the perfect gift, one that you had spent a long time working out. Because she had given you the best present of all: a Christmas that would forever be remembered, not just for the old traditions you’d kept, but for the new ones she had helped you create.

[siremasterlawrence]

The Glorious Reintroduction Of Santa Clause

My plan is pretty sound as I lay out milk and cookies for the fool like if I am a damn kid but I do what I must to trap good old saintNick and well he fell of hook like and sinker as the trap goes off.He snuck through my home with a useful like sweat to him as he takes a step at a time he creeps to my tree as the signal goes off to let me know as the alarm blares loudly to set the trap.The floor is triggered as the planned blast in array of colors as the lights are turn on automatically they are thrown at him landing on his feet he steps on to it as if secretly wraps on to his feet yanking the cord. He trips instinctively on to the freshly cleaned carpet as it tightens around his body and the carpet rolls up covering him up in place and he is locked in place prep for me.

I shed the bed covers off of my body in the midst of freezing December weather but I did not care in excitement, I grab my robe before descending down the staircase to see it for my eyes.The moron is all snuggled into a perfect ass Christmas present for me as I step off of the last one walking to my poor little merry kind of prisoner and well way say I have plans on plans. Struggling to as he manages to land back on his feet he stares me down as I tower over him while my hands cup under his chin and lift him upward to face as me as his anger rages. I smirk a bit lifting my hand up slapping my hand on his as the tears I can see him raging with roar red rouge covering his face and I enjoy all of my power.

“You need to let me go, I have a job to finish in twelve hours.”

“You will never be let go until I say so”

“What do you want kid?”

“I am full grown man!”

“Yeah! I explain very soon”

“You loved those concoctions I left for you “

“It is absolutely delicious! I can’t stop thinking about.”

“You are fixated “

“Stop it ! STOP!”

“Oh Santa baby”

“I hate that song! What are you planning?”

“This delightful concoctions are mind altering products.”

“You little shit “

“Uhh! You don’t want to be on the naughty list. Right nick?”

“You arrogant…ugh…what can I do for you?”

“Old Saint Nick! Santa Clause! Mrs Clause!”

“Quit that! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I am about to assume control.”

“Reindeer, North Pole, Sled, Red”

“You cannot possible keep my captured like this forever.”

“Why is that ?”

“You have to set me free”

“Oh poor baby!”

“ You asshole!”

“Diagnosis the vessel “

“Oh fuck! I can’t function”

“Shut down immediately “

“Vessel is a open book”

“Perfection! What happen to his jolly old fat ass?”

“It’s his first run”

“Geez! A newbie “

“At least he is in shape “

“Commence the Santa project”

“Processing begins “

“The Christmas lights begin to blink”

“Blinking upward and downward “

“Blinding you on impact “

“You are easily ensnared “

“Nnnnoooooo”

“You can’t fight it, surrender to my will and be mine.”

“You can feel it deep in to your soul”

“Your life flies by your eyes “

“You belong to me”

“You are a man in charge with a heart gold no longer”

“In fact you are the total opposite a hardcore submissive.”

“You love me, live for me, and submit to me.”

“I am your man, your heart, and your bro “

“Your everything and you swear to me”

“Now be a good boi as the lights glow everywhere”

“Yes Master”

“Dear Santa Clause”

“What is your wish my love ?”

“The downfall of the North Pole?”

“As you command so be it”

“Your powers”

“All you have to do is fuck me”

“Then what ?”

“My powers are yours anyway “

“Oh I see!”

“What Master Lawrence?”

“You are desire me to fuck you period “

“Yes Master”

“It’s a win win”

“I love you Master”

“Strip off your clothes for me”

“Stare in to my eyes “

“Learn your place”

“Sir Yes Master Lawrence Sir”

“Kneel for me “

“Make out with me”

“All you have to do is make a wish Master”

“I wish to have all of your powers”

“Close your eyes and take a deep breath “

“Our souls are connected now”

“We share everything “

“However! I am at your disposal “

“Under your thrall “

“Instructed by your voice”

“Living by your whims “

“What do you see ?”

“A wondrous place beyond my imagination “

“It’s the Santa Verse”

“Every Santa is here “

“We are your slaves now “

“No going back now “

“Kiss me and you will have it all “

“With pleasure “

“Mmmmmm”

“Fuck! You own me”

“Do I?”

“Bro!”

“Go on”

“I can’t even think”

“My brain…is…hahahaha “

“Fried?”

“Yeah! I guess “

“Dummy Clause”

“Hot!”

“You would think so?”

“Babe come on “

“I know “

“Yeah bro”

“What so tonight anyway?”

“Christmas”

“Oh shit! Help me bro! I am so stupid “

“Obviously bro! Don’t worry”

“Oh! I fucked up”

“Hell yeah! I’ll fix it for you “

The end

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

♡Weekly Chronicles♡

Hey babes! I've missed you guysss I am so happy I had an amazing trip it was so nice. I went to a convention in Maryland for 5 days it was so nice. I definitely left with a lot of knowledge so many amazing people spoke at the lectures<3 and I'm sorry I missed the weekly affirmations for this week.

♡Education♡

I applied for all my classes for next semester before my trip. I’m low-key excited about the classes I have coming up. Lot of different courses since I'm almost done with my major required classes now I need to fill the rest of my credits with electives. I have an art class next semester just for fun. I can't wait to meet the people in my classes. I have to take this math class I am not excited for at all I hate math lol so every time I update you girliesss on this class I'll probably be complaining lol.

♡Mental♡

Interacting with different people this past week has been very good for me mentally. It brought me back to pre-quarantine Khadija who was such a big extrovert. After covid, I started to have mild social anxiety so this was needed. I dealt with a little insecurities while on my trip interacting with so many beautiful women I started to doubt my looks comparison is the thief of joy, I practiced a lot of the methods my therapist recommended like canceling one negative thought with two positive thoughts. I realized I was all in my head for no reason. I love watching Leo Skepi when I am feeling this way he always gets me together. I highly recommend him if you are dealing with a lack of discipline, self-confidence, or just need someone to get you together with tough love he is that guyyy. Side noteee I missed my antidepressant dose twice in a row because of traveling back to New York and it low-key made me hazy like it was super weird but I took it today. 

♡Physical♡

While I was away I ate super bad! The event was an African-focused event so the food there wasn’t healthy at all. I was going to stick to my diet while on my trip but I decided I'm on a trip let me relax and I don't regret it at all. But I am seeing the consequences of my food choices now I am soooo bloated lol. So I am starting a cleanse tomorrow for the next 14 days I already prepped my ginger shot for the morning I want to flush my system out completely going into the new year. I don't recommend cleanses especially to my babes that have dealt with ED’s always consult your doctors before starting anything. I just do what works for me. 

♡Hobbies♡

Now that I am back I can get back to being consistent with my Italian, pilates, and weight lifting. I was so sad I could not lift I feel like I'm low-key obsessed with lifting lol it feels so good and I've been seeing results, especially in my lower body. While I was gone I didn't have any time to do my hobbies they had us in lectures and events constantly. I practiced my Italian once which I'm happy about. I plan on starting jewelry making next week I'm super excited it was one of my favorite hobbies when I was in middle school. I used to make earrings and bracelets. 

♡Plans For The Weekend♡

My birthday is Sunday, December 31st! I am turning 21 yay! I am super excited I don't have anything planned for my birthday. I am going to have a mini celebration with my family and watch the ball drop my siblings bought me presents so I'm excited to open everything. I'm starting my cleanse so I'll be working out and taking good care of my body internally and externally so I'll be off social media this weekend and focused on my mental and physical health. I plan on creating my vision board and listing my goals this year. My dad is ordering my camera I used to have a YouTube channel but I took a break to work on my self-improvement journey I do plan on getting back on my YouTube grind soon lol so look out for that coming out in 2024! 

This week's little journal entrieee a lot happened this week and I'm excited to see what this new year brings babesss. Comment your plans this weekend and how did your week go?

[helpinghanikan]

Domestic December: COD

Day 16: Ghost, Camping

DD Masterlist

There’s zero chance of having a basic romantic get away with Ghost. He doesn’t find places with a lot of foot traffic all that relaxing. So, forget Paris or Hawaii. Maybe he’ll agree to New York for a show but not if you’re spending more than a night.

It’s the more out of the way places that he prefers. This is specifically referring to camping, but not just any camping. The real kind of camping where you carry in your own stuff and won’t have service for the whole weekend.

Whether it’s your dream or nightmare, Ghost loves it.

Maybe a mile or two into the woods he’ll lose his face covering. He’ll do it Audrey while a few steps ahead of you. As if his mask wasn’t nearly as important as you both knew it was.

That’s when your trip can really start.

Every now and then you take a glance at his face. Looking away just as quickly, as if he might disappear under the mask again. Like respectful strangers you set up camp in silence. The drive in was long, and the hike was longer. By the time you got the tent up, and Ghost had the fire going, the stars were starting to peek out.

“It’s meal prep tonight, tomorrow I’ll get us something real.” He explains while cooking over your fire.

Whatever the food was you were undoubtably going to drown it in butter and pepper. Ghost wasn’t cruel enough to make you eat military rations, but he was mean enough to have it ready just in case.

As with most things you let him come to you. Handing over a plate and taking a seat right next to you. The night was cold, but the fire and your man’s body heat kept the chill away.

“I’ll be gone before you wake up. Be back a little after sunrise but I’m not going far.” He explains as if his hunting wasn’t a tradition on these trips.

Supposedly Ghost used to hunt big game like wolves and bears. Considering his career it wasn’t a stretch but hunting animals that were close to being endangered seemed almost stupid. Especially if it were just to come off as sounding tough.

That being said he did come back every morning with rabbits or some kind of fowl. He’d probably bring in a deer if you let him.

“When you get back we should go to the lake. I brought my swimsuit, and yours.” You add, leaning into his warmth. Plate forgotten and wanting something more than just a basic meal. “As if we need them?” He says, arm around your shoulders and squeezing you tight.

[quinloki]

Katakuri - Longing

Reader style - they/them, afab (No pronouns were used in the final result) Time slot - After hours Client Name - @mew-ya CW: blindfolded, use of teeth

(I am currently undecided if my Host Club AU will be true to One Piece canon size differences. This entry has Katakuri as his canonical size)

You barely came to Katakuri’s thigh, but that wasn’t something that had mattered to you from the beginning. There was just something about the mochi man and his massive height that held you captive from the very first time you’d come into the Club.

It was all you, your requests, your persistence, your conversations that eventually led Katakuri to accept, by appointment, Hosting slots and Escort slots. You had both gotten to know one another quite well over the months you spoke to the bartender, gentle in your delivery and understanding in his concerns, offering suggestions and ways to maintain the privacy he desired while still allowing himself an outlet.

So here you were, arms bound, his jacket bunched and piled up over your head, leaving your naked body exposed for his pleasure, and keeping his exposed mouth from your view. He was so much larger than you, impossibly larger, but it didn’t make your desires any less.

You’d done and tried so much, but even one of his fingers was simply too thick, there wasn’t enough lube or prep to help you, you just couldn’t handle the stretch.

And you tried. You tried to hide your discomfort in the last attempt, but he felt something tear and it had been a trip to the hospital for your safety afterward. Nothing that required stitches, fortunately, but it took weeks to convince him to see you privately again, so deep was his guilt.

A wet tongue, tender fingers, careful teeth, and a sharp eye worked your body over. Katakuri could always push pleasure into you so easily, but it was so bittersweet, so frustrating. It wasn’t bad, it didn’t leave you feeling disgusted or uncomfortable.

But it did leave you feeling empty.

You wanted him to be able to fill you up. To claim you inside as much as he had outside.

The curve of hard fangs kept your legs spread wide. Slow movement from Katakuri kept either set from biting into the sweet skin of your thighs or legs, as his tongue flicked and swirled against your clit. Your legs flexed and curled, thighs twitching against his fangs, heavy moans filling the space under his jacket, lips begging to cum.

Words that belied the real need, the desire to cum against him, not just for him. Tears filled your eyes, frustration and pleasure both wanting little more than release.

You felt pressure against your nipples as he tugged at the chain between the clamps you had put on yourself before he bound your arms. Proof that you could handle pain. Proof that he could hurt you and you’d be okay. Proof, only if you could endure the clamps, whatever he decided to do with them.

Your body tensed in anticipation of the impending orgasm. Pleasure flooded into you as his tongue continued to work you through the sharp pleasure.

At the peak or your orgasm, Katakuri pulled the nipple clamps off with a quick tug. Pain from the tug was nothing compared the feeling of blood rushing back into your sensitive nipples. The tingling pain pulled a gasp from you in the midst of your orgasm, the rush and tingle and feel of a thousand needles against such tender skin made you scream and thrash.

But even your screams were still filled with pleasure. He holds you down easily, keeping you from hurting yourself against his fangs as he licks, and sucks, and laps the pleasure falling from you. The first orgasm is pulled into a second, rough fingers dancing over throbbing nipples, riding the lines of pleasure and pain as your addled brain melted into a fog.

The pleasure was sweet and warm, and the pain was sharp and just as sweet. To wish for more felt greedy.

But the desire was there.

One Piece Host Club AU drabble event runs through December 2023

[emilykaldwen]

Hey everyone! So I meant to do this a freaking month ago when it was the first anniversary of properly working on this fic but hey! time flies. So on this Thankful Thursday (thanks for the idea, @mercurygray!), I decided to post the original end of chapter one for The Maiden and the Drowning Boy. This scene was redone and became the opener for Chapter 2, with Aegon and Abby in Rhaenys' garden, as well as the picnic date in Chapter 6. I wrote this back in mid-November before I needed to stop for surgery prep soooo I guess we're closer to the anniversary of this scene LOL

Overall, I adore both of these scenes so I wanted to share the original as a thank you for those who have been supporting me since the start.

TMatDB returns on December 8th!

A huge thank you to those who have been with me for so long, through the gif sets and the snippets as I recovered from surgery and finally got back into writing this. Thank you for finding me and loving this story, thank you for giving me the love and motivation to really put this passion project out into the world. I'm so grateful for each and every one of you!

She didn’t dare look back over her shoulder as they rushed past the sleeping stone dragon. Abby didn’t even think she could form words. Instead, she stroked her thumb over the knuckle on his hand in a circular pattern. She kept her eyes forward so as not to trip, and she felt his hand flex against hers. Then, so light she almost missed it, Abby felt the rough pad of his thumb stroke once. Twice. Three times over her pinky. Are you okay? Not really. Abby heard the faint clink of at least one guard following them, but they had enough of a head start that there was time to lose the one that either Otto or the queen dispatched in their wake.

“Wait,” she gasped, tugging on his hand to slow down as they hit the stairs so she could gather her skirt up. Aegon didn’t even stop as he reached across her to shove a handful of fabric into her hand. He was too focused on putting as much distance between him and the Hightower as fast as he could.

Betrothed. Married. To Aegon.

Abby was so overwhelmed that she didn’t even voice a protest when he yanked her into the alcove behind the tapestry at the bottom of the stairs. The thick fabric muffled the world outside, and it was dark save for the light that broke through around the edges and the worn patches visible from this side. There was enough that she could make out his flushed face, and Aegon was close enough that if she squinted hard enough, she might even make out the pale dusting of freckles over his nose. His silver hair nearly glowed in the dark.

“You’re hilarious. That was really…” He shook his head, and another laugh escaped him with the mad edge of hysteria making her shiver. He held his hands up, which was awkward because he was still holding her own, but either he’d forgotten or he didn’t care. “That was really something. You really had me fooled.”

Abby could feel her own face crinkle in confusion, and she tugged on their joined hands in hopes that he’d let go. Aegon steadfastly refused. “I’m not going to run.”

“You could.”

It was her turn to laugh, although it was a far less delicate snort while she attempted to pry his fingers off her hand. It only goaded him on. Two pairs of hands fighting to hold on and let go. He slapped her hand, and she slapped his back, which only called for more of his mad, hysterical laughter. She could just make out the sound of armor approaching, and Abby pressed her hand over his mouth to muffle him as the guard approached their hiding spot.

Aegon’s breath was heavy as he panted, then something warmer and wetter slowly dragged across her palm. She bit her lip so hard she tasted copper to muffle her startled sound, but other than that did not give him acknowledgement. Abby felt the burning flush creep further along her cheeks and up her ears before she finally glared up at the amused look he was giving her from behind her hand. She felt Aegon drag his tongue along her palm again. Childish games, as always.

“You’re ridiculous,” she hissed, finally letting go once the guard had passed and wiping her palm off on his sleeve. She was closer to him now and could smell the lingering scent of stale wine still clinging beneath the clean smell of soap. “Did Ser Criston shove you in a trough, and have them soap you down like a horse?”

He pressed a hand to his heart as if she’d wounded him and leaned forward. The last time they were this close, Aegon was maybe a hand’s width taller than her. Now, leaning forward meant he leaned over her. Damp waves of his moonlit hair fell across his forehead and into a doe-eyed gaze; lilac glittering beneath a sheen of wine and the lingering presence of tears from his laughter.

“You wound me, Lady Abrogail. It was a proper bathtub, but the water was like ice.”

“If you’re trying to intimidate me, it won’t work.” She went to cross her arms but ended up hugging herself instead as the uncertainty and confusion of what had just transpired filtered back through. “I wasn’t trying to fool anyone.”

Aegon’s eyes flashed, and she took a step back as he leaned into her even more. “Weren’t you?” His voice took on a higher pitch in mockery of her courtesy. “Oh, how lucky we are. Thanks for looking out for me, brother. No protests, not even when he was dangling the opportunity to get away right in front of you. It took me longer than I’d like to see how terrified you were.”

“Are you still drunk?” 

“Is it drunk if you never stop drinking? Or just a state of being? You could ask Aemond. He’s got a new philosophy book he won’t shut up about.” Aegon rocked back on one foot and reached down to snag at the end of her embroidered belt to play with the fringed edge. “You didn’t answer my question.” 

In the space between heartbeats, Abby imagined they were back in the Godswood beneath the tree. She, with the book in hand, giggling along with his running commentary on his assigned reading he was supposed to be doing – the assigned reading that she was too nice to deny doing for him. Aegon, with his head in her lap, offering her bits of cake so she wouldn’t get sticky fingers on the delicate pages.

Beneath the haze of inebriation and hysteria was that same laughing boy. It was the only reason she hadn’t left yet.

“It was the truth. I don’t want to marry Elmo Tully. I don’t know him except that he has an heir-”

“Is that what you care about? Your son inheriting a seat and power?” His expression twisted as his voice sharpened, his eyes searching her face again for something she didn’t understand.

She continued, ignoring him. “And I don’t want to go to Faircastle only to be attacked by a Greyjoy fleet and made into some salt wife, let alone be closer to my sister. She despises me.” 

Aegon’s boots scraped against the flagstone, and his free hand reached for the edge of her belt. He wrapped the woven band around his hand and then unwound it. “You wouldn’t be a salt wife,” he said in a still, quiet tone. She’d heard it once before, but it did not throw her the way it had then. He watched his own hand fiddle with her embroidered belt, and she ran her thumb over his knuckle again. “Sunfyre and I would come to your rescue.”

Even as his tone dipped, Abby felt her mouth twitch as an amused smile threatened, one she tried to force away. The desire to ease the dragon claws that had descended, to soothe the sullen expression, was as instinctive to her as breathing.

“Four days at least to get a raven to King’s Landing. I’d be on a rocky outcrop in the Iron Islands by then.”

Aegon re-wrapped the edge of the belt around his hand and sharply tugged her closer. Abby stiffened immediately, her heart kicking up and something knotting tight and low in her belly. He watched her face, bitterness twisting at his mouth. “You hate me so much now, don’t you? You can’t be close to me.”

There was a painful ache in her chest. He sounded so lost, defeated. What happened before didn’t matter; it didn’t erase everything else. She felt a nagging feeling that he was trying to manipulate her, but she couldn’t ignore the genuine pain in his voice, for she knew it as well as she knew her own. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you, Aegon.”

“You were terrified in there, and your smile was so convincing.” The quiet stillness remained, and he refused to meet her eyes, despite being the one to close the distance between them.

Abby blinked as the air left her lungs to join the observation that hung in the little space left between them. She couldn’t discern if it was because she hadn’t realized that was what she had been doing, or that he’d noticed at all.

She reached up to rest her free hand along the back of the one that held her belt hostage. The warmth of his fingers felt like a balm against the coolness of her own, but she focused on stroking his hand in reassurance, allowing the movement to soothe the confusion inside of her.

“So were you. That was a brave thing you did. I couldn’t have done it.” She reached for his hand to deflect the attention from him. Maybe it was more than Aegon deserved, but that was who she was.

Aegon’s gaze snapped to hers, then caught on the reddened wound on her lower lip. Abby was relieved; she didn’t think she could bear his look right then. “So convincing you are,” he said again, but the stillness had given way to something different. A deeper tone that made the knot low in her belly tighten. “Don’t pretend with me, Abby.” Unlike everything else, his warning was unmistakable.

“It doesn’t mean I’m not still upset, and that I’m not still hurt.” She kept her own voice soft, but he scoffed just the same. The hysterical laughter was bitter now – ugly and harsh – and his eyes shone with tears as he tore his gaze from her mouth to meet her eyes. It rooted her to the spot. Abby couldn’t figure out which feeling was stronger: the urge to run, or the urge to stay.

“Terrified.” They were back to that. “Thank you, thank you, for betrothing me to a monster, right?” he whispered.

All she could do was watch him. Even though she caught him drifting closer to her, she didn’t move away. Aegon knocked his head into hers, rubbing a cheek fuzzy with stubble against her own; it reminded her of the way Theraxis would purr and rub his soft face against her cheek. A shiver of relief washed through her. She inhaled sharply and held it in before shutting her eyes and leaning her head against his. His hair tickled at her nose, and when she concentrated hard enough, she was certain she could hear his heartbeat echoing into her chest.

Once. Twice. Three times.

Are you okay?

Not really.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Aegon’s hands released her first, pushing her abruptly away from him. Her eyes flew open, but she only caught his retreating form as he left her alone.

Left her behind.

Again.

tag list: @fyeahhotdocs, @ocappreciation, @stannisfactions, @fragilestorm, @starcrossedjedis, @darkwolf76, @arrthurpendragon, @dopedaegus, @hiddenqveendom, @mantillon, @lightofthearrow, @songsonacliffside, @acrossthesestars, @insabecs, @prosemoireia, @dragonsbone, @corporalicent, @jadore-andor, @selfproclaimedunicorn, @gwenllian-in-the-abbey, @notbloodraven, @impales, @arcielee, @thesunfyre4446, @alexandria-millie

[nancypullen]

I Lost My Mind

Sorry that I dropped off the face of the Earth for a bit. I have been in a holiday frenzy. I mentioned that I'll be flying down to visit my mom in Florida for a few days. What I did not consider is that taking a chunk out of the middle of December would send me into hyper-holiday prep. I felt like I needed to have EVERYTHING done before departing on the 12th. Ev-er-y-thing. So I put my head down and trimmed the tree, decorated the house, shopped, wrapped, wrote and addressed cards, wrapped some more, baked and baked, and finally checked the last task (packing and mailing a box) off my list. When I return home on the 17th my biggest worry will be preparing for the Christmas meal. I'll have a handful of days to panic. We may have tacos for Christmas dinner if I drop the ball.

The mister had mentioned making the hour long drive up to Christiana Mall in Delaware earlier this week. I told him that if I could get everything done on my list, I could go on Thursday. I worked like a mad woman so I could go to that damn mall. I used to take malls for granted, then I moved to Dogpatch. So I met my self-imposed deadline (the last cookie was packaged at 7pm on Wednesday night) and went to bed with a heating pad and visions of shopping dancing in my head. I was not disappointed. It turned into the best day! The most wonderful part? It snowed on us! All the way to Newark we were treated to this:

I can't even tell you how happy it made me. After our snowy trip we walked into the mall and right into a giant Barnes and Noble. Man, have I missed browsing in a brick and mortar bookstore. I made a wish list a mile long. *sigh*

Mickey and I split up and I visited Lush and bought a couple of sparkly bath bombs for my favorite 5 year old, walked a couple of stores down and picked up a little something for my sister's upcoming birthday, browsed in Pottery Barn and Williams Sonoma (swoon!), and put some mileage on my shoes poking around in numerous other shops. It was such fun, I felt like an Amish girl on rumspringa. We met for a quick lunch and then headed off to the local Trader Joe's for a few things. We didn't have snow on the way home, but at least the car smelled good from that sack of bath bombs. Tomorrow I'm volunteering at the Friends of the Library booth at Winterfest. I think I'm running the Pin the Nose on the Snowman game. I doubt it will compete with all of the bouncy houses and big stuff, but hopefully some little bookworms will find us. After the festival I'll once again become a crazy lady, cleaning this house top to bottom and getting packed for the trip. I want to come home on the night of the 17th to a house that doesn't need a thing, because we'll be hurtling right into Christmas. Note to self: never again travel in December. I know I'll have a ball in Florida. I wanted to see my mom before I start the library job and lose the freedom to travel whenever I want (I've forgotten what it's like to ask for time off!). My sister is going to join us and we'll be able to celebrate her birthday on the 15th. It'll be good for all of us, some girl time. And that, my friends, explains my absence. I'm a one-woman holiday crew. The house is pretty, the tree is sparkling, gifts are purchased, wrapped, and tagged, cookies are baked, cards are mailed, and this elf is done. Well, I say one-woman, but I am never alone. Someone is always there, watching.

See her in there, just behind the white and gold bow? I can't keep her out of there. At least she doesn't climb it. I'll try to write a bit more tomorrow, I think I'll actually have a little time. I may tromp around in the woods and look for some greenery to cut. I want to make a festive swag to hang over those ugly blinds.

Hmmm. Maybe not. Looks a little too busy. Maybe some light garland. Whatever, it's not like we're on the Christmas home tour. Until tomorrow (I hope), I hope that you're enjoying every bright and shiny bit of this season. Turn on some holiday tunes and boogie your way through your chores. That's what keeps me going.

Stay safe, stay well, stay jolly! XOXO, Nancy

[astras-midnight-thoughts]

It’s been months now, exactly how long I cannot remember

Since I called things quit, and put an end to the first real relationship I’d ever had. I remember being sad for a day, then no longer. Perhaps I had already mourned the loss of what we had 

I wonder if you ever did?

A romance blooming in the summer, meeting is cold end in the winter. It’s fitting how that describes how things went. At first it was lovely, a warm hug, a gentle flame, passionate words that touched the heart

It became a cold feeling, disappointment when I wouldn’t hear back, shiny words that lost their luster, just unread messages on a phoneI visited you whenever I could, I brought gifts - tiny pieces of me for you to hold when I wasn’t there

I was eager to read your messages, to hear your voice; to hug you, to hold your hand, to kiss you

Two hour drive, there and back

You always said once you turned 18 you would be able to do whatever you wanted. You just couldn’t before, due to your mother. I understood.

Another two hour drive, there and back

November, then December. Things turned colder. I felt you growing distant. We were both busy, I had work and school, you had school. I always managed to reach out to you though

The words you sent back felt a bit more empty. Sent hours later, if at all.

Did we call? I can’t remember

It was nearing the end of December when I asked you to come down. My birthday was coming up, and I wanted to celebrate it with you. Your birthday was a week later.

You told me “I’d have to ask my mom”

You told me “She won’t let me, I don’t have a ride”

I told you about the bus route that could connect us, the guest bedroom all prepped, the fee I would happily pay.

You were almost 18, you could do what you wanted.

You never showed up 

You were having a hard time that month

Your mom wouldn’t drive you

Your mom wouldn’t let you on that bus

And still, you were just about to turn 18.

My mom and I talked - she wasn’t happy with you at all. But I still gave you the benefit of the doubt, because 

It was your 18th birthday when I realized it was time. 

I waited a day or so to say anything though

I called you, explained everything, my feelings, what I’d experienced, I communicated and hoped you would understand. I was angry and disappointed and over it

“I’m sorry you felt that way”

“I’ve been having a really hard time”

“My mom wouldn’t-“

We need to take a break

“Okay”

“If that’s what you want”

You always respected my boundaries 

But I’d be lying if I didn’t want you to fight me on that

To prove me wrong, to change, to promise to be better, to talk to me like you had before

But instead, it was just “okay”

You tried to continue the conversation after that, talk about something normal - like my whole world didn’t just stop. 

I told you I needed to go.

As soon as I hung up I was sobbing.

I did the right thing, yet it hurt more than I ever thought it would 

I ran into the arms of my mom, as I felt a pain I never had before. 

Heartbreak 

My very first relationship was over 

I was the one who ended it

So why was I more upset that you were 

My tears would dry, my anger would grow, so did my suspicions 

Did you only have a girlfriend so she could love you? So that you could have comfort when you wanted it?

You talked to me when you were lonely, and shoved me to the back of your mind when you couldn’t be bothered to put in effort

A two hour drive, there and back. A trip you never even made, not once

Did you really think I was going to hang around forever- going with whatever you wanted at the time. A doting girlfriend, a missed text

At what point did you get bored? 

At what point did you think that messaging me after - like you hadn’t just ripped my heart in two was a good idea.

You texted me more the week after we broke up then you had in at least a month.

Short replies is what I gave

Valentine’s Day came, I was alone yet again. What made you think I wanted a text from you with a picture of flowers in a store, saying “happy Valentine’s Day” would make me want to speak with you.

Was that you trying to get me back? What did you possibly think I was going to say back to that? 

Probably not “umm thanks?”

I changed your name. It was your nickname, then it was your name. 

Now it’s just your name (ex)

That was the last time I’d heard from you. I don’t know why, not for sure. I can’t say I was disappointed though

I thought it was over, yet months later, I join a social media app - and not five seconds after setting everything up did I get a notification.

You friend requested me

Ignored it for days

Until, I accepted. And waited.

After a day, and nothing, I deleted you. After all, we all make mistakes - didn’t take too long to fix them though

Yesterday I deleted our convos from my phone. I had to scroll down quite a ways, forgot they were there.

I didn’t change your name this time. But if for some reason I were to get a text from you 

It would show up as (xxx) xxx xxxx 

I would just say

“Sorry who is this?”

“I think you have the wrong number”

[presidentkamala]

Ok 2022 wrap up. First the good:

* killed it at work and on schedule for a huge jump in salary in january 2023

* finally let go of the worst years of my life by *gasp* leaning in2 and committing to my present self???

*moved to a banging new apartment WITH kitchen island

*volunteered for midterm campaigns

*went to chicago, cincinnati, honolulu and st. louis

*READ like 80% more this year than last year (the bar was the like 2 books i picked at and didnt finish last year but still improvement)

*more consistent with skincare routine

*hit 50k in my one savings acct in accordance w financial goals

THE BAD:

*didnt learn a new language, instrument, to code, pottery, or anything. Was grinding at work and not much else

*health took a backseat: too much doordash no fitness plan or even much activity

*didnt make any new friends

*stagnated in other areas. No volunteering for causes i care abt or even at community garden. mUST CHANGE THIS IN 2023

*struggled to stay consistent with much of anything. Scatterbrained for most of the year

THE UGLY:

*lost all muscle tone due to nothing other than lack of care

*no motivation. No real direction. No real sense or vision of the future i want and am working towards. No effort in the places where it counted

*phone and screen addiction. BIG TIME. losing hrs to this that i should be using to get out there and meet ppl and actually improve my quality of life LOL.

*deep-seated suspicion that im not well-liked at work bore out late this year. Not super pleased since that's been my main focus. Probably connected to this other stuff.

*loss of basic intellectual curiosity. In complete survival mode for the first 8 months of the year. Self is almost unrecognizable in many ways.

THE RESOLUTIONS:

I've spent the month of december devoting myself to prepping for the big three resolutions that i feel will have the biggest impact on my immediate health and wellbeing. I did a recipe plan for every day of december and gave myself a zero doordash/restaurant rule but no other real restrictions on what recipes i make and that's gone super well in terms of re-integrating cooking regularly back into my life and even enjoying it! I think in february im going to start paying more attention to making sure im incorporating the plate method to ensure im getting the right proportion of protein veg and carbs into my diet but for now its all about finding recipes that taste good and that i can sustainably replicate etc. I've been doing a lot to make sure im brushing my teeth and doing my skincare routine at least every morning so im going to start bumping up my evening care in January as well. I also downloaded the none2run app to get me up to a 5k which at least lays out the calendar of what i need to do and im on week 2?? I think of the beginner exercises before starting the runs in earnest. I've deep cleaned my apartment and kitchen and have been regularly washing my clothes and doing the dishes instead of letting it all pile up. All of these changes in routine have been gradual over the last 5 weeks or so but its already paying dividends and i love the idea of prepping for resolutions and planning them out so i don't lose track as the year progresses:

*Journal at least once a week (minimum 52 entries by this time next year)

*Develop nourishing recipes you actually enjoy and can replicate. Limit restaurants to once a week (non-holiday) or 3 times a week (with holidays)

*complete none2run 5k.

*sign back up for barre classes at least once a week (non-travel)

*on work travel, complete youtube pilates vid at least twice a week

*this is the year to tackle skin texture and pores. Set up derm appt in January

*complete liftoff program for beginner weightlifting beginning in June.

*volunteer for minimum 2 hrs each week. For anything.

*volunteer for dems at least once this year.

*SEE A FUCKING PSYCHIATRIST

*take one extra-curricular class

*check in quarterly on goals

*take one international trip

2023: We are being specific and intentional!!!!!

[2dkapsddr]

December 10th, 2024 (1/2) - Arcaea, IIDX 32, Dancerush, DDR World

FREEEEDOMMMMM !!!!!!!!!! at long last, after so much studying and so much suffering in anticipation of my finals, they were finally over... and now, with no more schoolwork left for the year (besides a few more assignments that i plan to do the day of this post's writing), i was completely free from university work and could enjoy the holidays for the rest of the month, catching up on hobbies and plans and stuff to potentially close out the last of my new year's resolutions!!! and of course, while that Does include journaling and scholarships and school prep, it also includes catching up on... my RHYTHM GAMING!!! last time i went to the arcade was last monday for an appointment to remove my braces, and today i had another appointment in the same place to get my clear retainer... which meant

while i could spend this time recovering mentally and doing some productive stuff... i REALLY wanted/needed to get my rhythm gaming fill after having abstained for so long to prioritize my finals... and since there were no more finals left to do until next year, it was the perfect opportunity to treat myself and let loose on gaming..! but before then, i had to . well. actually get there somehow, and so that led me to playing arcaea on the bus while i waited for it to take me to my beloved long-lost destination... and it did!!! eventually!!! but in the meantime, i got these insane scores on the ride there including a 997 on SUPER AMBULANCE [FTR-10] and... an EX on Abstruse Dilemma [FTR-11]!!! finally!!!

okay, so those were out of the way!!! the bus ride unfortunately(?) wasn't long enough to deplete all of my arcaea stamina, so i still had some left over to grind out... either way though, i missed my initial bus stop thanks to that Abstruse Dilemma EX and had to walk a bit from the next closest bus stop, but i made it to the arcade and ran straight to my beauty... my soul... my everything... beatmania IIDX 32 Pinky Crush!!!! oh, it's been so long,,,, (a week . lol . but it felt like an eternity, i swear!!!). no matter though... i was here, i was ready, and i was free to game to my heart's content, which i did with glee!!!

starting off strong with an EXHC on This is Club Musik feat. Ookubo Momiji [SPH-9] (my fav song from epolis ever), followed by a very tragic normal gauge fail on Tripping Jumping [SPA-10] (guess i'm not quite the scratcher as i thought......), but it appears that was only one-time initial warmup thing, because i started popping tf OFF afterwards!!! an AAA- on Triple Counter, then a sweet sightread NC and A rank on Silver Bullet [SPH-10] (one of my favorite casthour songs...?), then an INSANELY CLUTCH NC (and AA-) on RAGE feat.H14 of LEONAIR [SPH-10]!!!! i've still got it, truly the scratcher indeed!!! following this was a random new clear on a random new Pinky Crush song (Bring The Fire [SPH-9] AA, then this SICK new 10 AAA on ≡＋≡ (Sanjuu) [SPH-10], cruising through with a sightread AA on The Wind of China Express(The 4th Mashup) [SPA-10] (probably the closest we'll ever get to The Wind of Gold in IIDX...), and then ending off this set with an INSANE HC up from a fail on Turn A [SPH-10]????? wild...

the paragraph above is getting a bit too long, so we'll continue it from here . shortly after this, i remembered the suggestions for potential new SP-11 scratch charts a iidx friend gave me after seeing my insane rough percussionythm clear from last time . these were some really damn tough songs to be suggested, and i was a bit hesitant to try them upon initially watching the charts... but that's when my IRL IIDX friend present at the arcade showed the charts off to me to see if i liked 'em, and they definitely did seem both interesting and doable in-person...! so, despite still being a little hesitant, i planned to try out the charts at the end of my sets and spent the beginning playing other random charts as warmup... and out of recklessness in the process, i tried No Limit 2 dAnce feat. Oyama Aimi [SPA-11] on a whim and somehow got it on the spot as SP-11 Easy Clear #4!!! given such a monumental new clear, surely this could only mean good things for the other SP-11 charts i planned to clear later...? ...unfortunately not, as i ended up failing both songs in the remainder of the session -- first it was a fail on Digitank System [SPA-11] on extra stage, then a bit of practice for the next song, naughty girl@Queen's Palace [SPA-11] before ultimately failing it in the broken scratch section at the end... i did, however, get new ECs on You'll say "Now!" [SPH-10] and N.O. [SPA-10] in the process, but whether i'll get those other charts or not is still up in the air for my next session this weekend...

anyways, moving on!!! that's enough of all the IIDX... ough, so much to write about even outside of uni . but the length of the posts just go to show how long the session was... so long, in fact, that i ended up missing my initial orthodontist appointment and had to reschedule it for later that day!!! but no matter, because a friend noticed me while i was there and we met up to chat a bit while i waited for the rescheduled appointment time!!! it was a bit awkward, but we played some dancerush together and it was so damn fun !!!!!!! first we played some Versus Group Play (me getting my ass kicked score-wise, but having a total blast performance-wise as i pulled off some sick spins, running mans, twists, and ending poses :]), but then after a bit of recovery and thought, we tried doing a train on the cab -- starting easy with Polar Night, then going crazy with a level 10 (Shiva) and getting an awesome clear on it together!!!

after a bit of proseka and awkwardness, i went over to play DDR while they went to play gitadora and left shortly after, but partially thanks to the warmup from dancerush -- i had an absolutely Incredible set in their presence that i couldn't even believe at first... like, check this out!!! in my 2nd and extra stage respectively, i somehow got Another Phase (ESP-15, 45p) and Setsujou Danka (ESP-15, 64p) as 15 PFCs #14 and #15 respectively!!! and all of that in my first set of playing somehow,,, which means this could only be the start .

shortly after that, however, i kinda had to break away from the arcade and rush over to the orthodontist so i could make it in time for my newly rescheduled appointment. i knew it would take a while, but getting there and back took two full exhausting hours between leaving and returning from round 1... and only one of which was used for the appointment itself!!! a tragic time loss, yes, and i did have to give up the two credits in the cab as seen in the images above, but an even bigger tragedy struck while i was on the bus back... Abstruse Dilemma, FTR-11, muted and panicking... 989 . so close, yet so far from a clean 990 . waghhhh why is this chart so hard to timeee

i did eventually return to the arcade after those two hours (which included eating in between... my bad for forgetting to mention that earlier), and instantly got to work on grinding out the last of the ddr i needed to grind to stay in the golden league (it was a super strict 185k league score or so to stay, and the song was releasing tonight, so i needed to hurry...!) . for the most part, i kinda just goofed off with my local DDR friends there (as seen by our quadruple play of TYCOON [ESP-12] www), but then i started locking in after that silly set... a sightread AAA on HANIPAGANDA [ESP-16], followed by a sick first try 31p PFC on Red. by Full Metal Jacket [ESP-14] as 14 PFC #19, and then the absolute most surprising, shocking, incredible score of the entire session... something i cannot include in this post because stupid tumblr only allowed 30 images per post and i've somehow already reached that quota!!! damnit!!!! well, worry not, it'll be revealed in the next post... but these scores are pretty cool for now though, right? right????

[changedlives]

HE HEARD ME (YOU)

Good Day Harvest family and Bishop Foreman,

This year has been a challenge that and battle of wild and faith. When the declaration went out for the beginning of the year that this was "the year of more," God would do more in us, through us, and for us. The opposition has been great.

There's a necessary trip that I have to take, and did not have the extra resources to do it as I had in the previous year. I literally was defeated and depleted and had no desire to keep pushing (harder) because the year has been so hard since December of 2023. I am a giver.

I have made declarations money would not be an issue for me or blind my vision, I have been speaking liberty and victory with the IRS.

Wait for it... I go to my mailbox and I see a letter from my local department of revenue. There was so "excitement" but prep for different news. Inside was a refund check from 2022. RIGHT IN TIME FOR the trip I need to take. I want to encourage you that even in the midst of declaring, decreeing and believing, the enemy will try to sow seeds of doubt to get you to speak the opposite of what God said so that you miss out of what God said was already yours to have. Stand. #GodIs#Grateful #HeHearsYou

[sheliesshattered]

In my last couple of Batuu bounding prep posts, I've referenced my latest sewing project for that upcoming trip (3 weeks from now!!) but I've been buzzing along on it so well that I haven't done more than pause to take a picture now and then while I work. It's getting close to finished, so I figured it was time for a post about it!

Last sewing update, I was working on my blue linen vest, drafting the pattern and fitting the lining. The issue with the bust seam that was driving me crazy turned out to be a mistake with my notch markings, which didn't transfer correctly between patterns, so the two edges were mismatched. Once I figured that out, I was able to correct the error, get that bust seam sewn, and try on the lining for fit.

There are a couple of small things I want to change before I cut out the exterior layer of the linen, but the major thing that fitting revealed was that I needed to decide on which shirt I'm going to wear under it -- or at least, the thickest shirt I'm likely to wear under it. I tried a couple of things in my closet to see what color and texture looked best with the blue linen of the vest and the gray and black herringbone of the hooded wrap. The white shirt was too bright, the black shirt was too dark, the gray shirt too flat, the green waffle knit okay but still not quite right.

And while I was going in and out of my closet looking for options, I kept seeing the Solstice dress I sewed in December, with its pretty blue-gray cotton sweatshirt knit fleece. Since all the shirts I tried on just weren't working, I put on the Solstice dress instead and put the linen vest and the hooded wrap on with it. The color was perfect, just a lovely mid point between the blue of the vest and the gray of the hooded wrap. The dress itself wouldn't work, but maybe a shirt made out of that fabric?

The only problem was, I didn't have very much fabric left over after making the Solstice dress and the wide-legged pants I layer underneath it on especially cold days. I had a couple of pieces that were a yard or yard and a half long, but only one scrap with that sort of length that was 14" wide. Everything else was in the 6" to 12" wide range, and all with curvy uneven edges left over from the princess seams of the dress. I thought about maybe ordering another yard of the same stuff, but that would mean waiting for it to ship, then washing and drying it before I could even start on this shirt. And everything else I'm sewing for this Batuu day are all stash-busters, using fabric I already had on hand, nothing but a zipper and some thread bought new.

So I decided not to order more, and just draft my pattern around the blue-gray sweatshirt knit fabric that I do have on hand -- and thus the 'scrappy sweatshirt' was born. After looking through all the scraps I had, I drafted a pattern based on a fitted rashguard I made in 2021, which had princess seams (because that's the only way to get something actually fitted on me, lol), and a narrow contrast stripe on the body under the arm and a matching one on the underside of the sleeve. I used the neckline from the Batuu vest so those V-neck angles will match, made a couple of adjustments to the bust shaping, then cut out the pattern and started looking for scraps big enough for all the pieces I needed -- 14" wide center front and center back, shaped side front and side back pieces, narrow rectangular side pieces, and six pieces total for the long sleeves.

I decided to do lapped seams throughout the project, for a couple of reasons: First, I know from sewing the Solstice dress that regular old plain seams end up being a bit bulky in this fabric, especially on places like the bust seam where both sides of the seam allowance like to fold to one side, creating an area that's three layers of heavy knit fleece stacked together. Since this shirt will be going under a fitted vest, the less bulk the better. And secondly, since I was working with so little fabric, I knew that I'd get more mileage out of what I do have with lapped seams rather than plain seams. With a plain seam, I lose 1cm on each side of the seam, but with a lapped seam it's only about 1cm total -- and with fabric scraps this narrow, every centimeter counts, lol.

I tried a couple of techniques on some scraps that were too small to be much use in any other way, and decided on a tiny raw edge on the exterior, with one line of stitching, and 1cm of seam allowance on the pieces that go underneath in the lapping process. I had to use chalk to mark out that 1cm from the edge distance on every under piece, and then draw on markings for any notches, but besides that being a bit tedious, the seams went together nice and easily, and I very quickly had a front and back of three pieces each, connected at the shoulders with an under-lapped piece about 2.5" wide.

I cut similar 2.5" wide strips for the side seams and for the tops of the sleeves (since I'd had to split the sleeves down the middle just to be able to find enough fabric to cut them out of). The sides of the body went on easy as can be, exactly the right length -- and then I started in on the sleeves and realized that I had cut four strips to the shorter length of the body, rather than two at that length and two more at the ~5" longer length for the sleeves.

I had one moment of feeling like I'd screwed the whole thing up and wondering if I could possibly find enough fabric to re-cut those long thin on-grain strips. And then I realized, wait, this is the scrappy sweatshirt project, and the unusual piecing of the whole thing is half the point. So rather than even try to find enough fabric to cut out new sleeve stripes, I decided to do some intense (and decorative) piecing on the wrist end of the sleeve. The hooded wrap covers to about my elbows, and the vest will cover the main body of the shirt, so really that lower section of the sleeve is the thing that will be most noticeable, anyway.

I cut out 16 little rectangles at the same 2.5" width, and about 3.2cm tall (literally just the width of my metal ruler I use as a cutting guide, lol) and marked the 1cm overlap so I could start sewing them together. My plan has been to do an edge facing in that same ~3.2cm length at the neckline, hip-level hem, and sleeve hem, so making those all match seemed like a good idea.

I really like the final effect of this funny little shingled detail, especially for something that came out of a mistake in my pattern drafting and the restrictions of my very limited fabric. Once I had the shingles all added to the end of the long strip, I sewed them into the center of the sleeve, what will be the outside of the arm, with that same under-lapped style I'd done at the shoulders and the side panel of the body of the sweatshirt. It's a little bit similar to the pleated panel I'm adding to Jack's jacket, but without the pleating and with more raw edges.

With those panels set in, I then trued up both sleeves so that they match each other and the long seam is the same length on both sides, then added that 3.2cm wide hem treatment, for this final look:

The shingles end just below my elbow, so even with the relatively tight fit of these sleeves and the extra stiffness from all that stitching, I'll still have full comfortable range of movement. The strip at the hem is cut with the grain of the knit running perpendicular to the sleeve, which means it won't curl up or fray as much as the knit going the usual up-and-down direction.

The only place I couldn't do a lapped seam is in turning the sleeve into a tube -- or, I could have, but I would have had to handsew it, and I am so not about that right now, not with three weeks to go and Jack's jacket still needing handsewing too, lol. So I did a regular old plain seam with the raw edges facing inwards, but it's so normal looking that it really just melts into the background of all these other interesting looking lapped seams and raw edges.

So to repeat the first pic in this post, here's the current state of the sweatshirt, with my little leather gloves as an accent:

Tomorrow's tasks will be to attach the sleeves to the shoulders with another lapped seam (after possibly bringing in the edges of the shoulder top under-lap a little bit, so it matches the sleeves perfectly). Once I can try it on with the sleeves attached, I'll mark any changes I want to make to the neckline, then do the same hem facing treatment there as I did on the sleeves, with the narrow on-grain strip. The very last thing will be to even out and level the lower edge of the sweatshirt, and apply a similar hem treatment there, too.

I'm hoping to be able to get through all those steps tomorrow, and officially be able to call this piece of my Batuu outfit done. Then I'll be able to wear it while I do a final fitting of the vest lining, make any changes to the vest pattern based on those changes, and cut out the exterior fabric. After that point, I'm hoping the vest will come together pretty quickly, and we'll see if I have any time for adding little detail bits like functioning pockets or loops for code cylinders.

At the very least I would love to have a pocket specifically for my pilot's license, just so I can keep it both handy and safe from getting scratched up. But that's the sort of thing I can think about once the sweatshirt and the vest and the pleating stripes on Jack's jacket are all done. Three weeks isn't a ton of time, but on the other hand, three weeks ago I hadn't yet started on the pleating for Jack's jacket, much less these two other scratch builds. So if I can keep up a good rate of progress, I think I'll be able to get through all the projects and detail work I want to finish before our Batuu day.

And with that, I should wrap this post up and go get some sleep, lol.

[kinetic-elaboration]

December 31: The New Year

New Year’s Eve. Doesn’t really feel like it. I don’t want to spend too much time really thinking about the transition to a new year or what have you… it makes me feel nervous and anxious. I’m in that part of my vacation where I can’t enjoy my vacation much because I can only think of it ending. And then going back home and returning to daily life… Well. But it is the last day of the year so I’m going to talk a little about 2024.

First, I have some general life resolutions. The first isn’t really a New Year’s resolution so much as it is my usual post-vacation resolution, except this time coming off of a longer break and with some more resolve. I want to get myself together. I want to stop living the way I’ve been living. It hasn’t made me happy. I want to push myself to do things, to go to sleep earlier, to eat better, to keep a better schedule. I want to feel steadier and more in control. I want to get my literal house in order (my apartment) because I think I deserve a better environment than the one I’ve given myself. And I’ve been on vacation long enough that all of this seems plausible. No big deal!

My regular New Year’s resolution is that I want to expand my creativity this year and make more things. I want to try some more ambitious knitting projects. I want to re-learn how to sew. I want to learn how to bind books. I want to hold things I’ve created with my own hands.

Finally, I have some… plans, ideas for writing next year. I definitely didn’t do most of what I intended for 2023 in 2023. A big part of that is the Time Loop coming up and taking over my life. For 2024 as a whole, I don’t have specific goals or ideas. I have some immediate plans, and we’ll see what happens after that. I do think it would be a good idea for me to significantly lower the number of ideas on my wip list, or in some way redefine the list, not by writing All the Things (simply not possible) but by culling ideas that are not actually of interest or plausible. But, on the other hand, why does it matter if I have a long list of ideas? No harm in that.

So, my writing plan for the coming…unknown period of time:

Finish the Time Loop: I still have 4 more scenes of the draft left. This is such a taunting number! But getting them done is going to remain my first priority. I will also prioritize editing the remaining three unposted chapters. I am not going to post Ch3 until the draft is finished but otherwise, I’ll be posting as soon as I can edit.

Jasper/Monty fic: This is an old one from 2017. Last year I figured out mostly how I want to finish it. I think I can do it in 3 scenes. It’s going to take some prep work (re-reading everything, fixing up the outline) but in terms of writing it’s not the biggest project and that’s why I want to get it over with. I like what I have already written and I want to share it, and that’s my motivation for writing it.

Bellamy/Miller Road Trip: I planned this random fic out to 7 (7!!!) chapters, a ridiculous proposition. But planning it has been quite fun and I want to try my hand at actually writing it. My idea is to write just the first chapter, then take a break for another project. Obviously this is a project so niche it has an audience of one, so I’d like it to be… fun? Over the top of it wants to be? We’ll see.

Southern Gothic AU: I know I need to take this more seriously and put it in a higher priority if I want to finish and post it for Halloween 2024. I know. It’s… scary. But yeah I should be working on this as well.

Free writes and writing exercises: I have July Break Bingo prompts I’m still pulling from and I’ll be starting K/S Bingo in January. We’ll, uh, see how that goes.

So, yeah! The truth is there is a lot of stuff on my WIP list that excites me and a lot of newer ideas percolating and just… a lot. I sure do like writing (hypothetically). My only real-real goal about it this upcoming year is have fun and enjoy what I’m doing. There are no end goals here; there’s no finish line. I just… would like to feel a little better, that’s all.

In many ways, this was a tough one, I’m not going to lie! I’m looking forward positively to 2024!

[rat-loves]

i am once again, brainrotting with my babies, so heres another round of hcs 🥺

--—--—--—--

Nico

calls gabe 'papa' in private, but at work it's exclusively 'sir' or 'father' if absolutely necessary

he's on the leaner side, but gets almost as tall as gabe- peaked at about half a head shorter than him. not nearly as broad and muscular, but still has some visible toning from his training

as awkward as he can be, he doesn't really get insecure about his half-wraith condition. he doesn't consider himself or his dad monsters, he's just... nikolai. for better or for worse 🤔

having said that, the one and only time he's really given in to anger was when someone made a comment about his mother, insisting there must be something wrong with her to have a family like that- the next thing he knew, he'd decked them square in the jaw and was ready to give them more than a few extra bruises (the whole thing shook him up alot more than he'd ever like to admit)

hoarder of soft/comfy things- his bed looks like a nest with how many blankets and pillows he has piled up

he has a separate, matching mask with gabe for going out into public- it's very simple, but he doesn't like mixing his work and private life- including his 'faces'

has a favorite cafe, orders hot chocolate religiously. might have a crush on a barista there, does not know how to deal 🙃

winds up calling his partner 'mouse' after a joke, cannot stop doing it now- also likes mi vida

he's weirdly room temperature? doesn't produce much body heat but he isn't really cold either- and when he blushes, it's almost a bruised looking red-purple

not as much of a mama's boy as gabe was, but still protective in his own way. if you say you're going out shopping, he often tags along quietly and carries all the bags. will fulfill his tall person duty to help reach things

loves having his hair played with and head scratched ☺️ will not ask for it though, gets embarrassed and thinks its too childish

his birthday is april 23rd, a little taurus boy 😳

hasn't put much thought towards children, but would probably like one- odds are he'll have a daughter 💕

--—--—--—--

Snow

calls gabe 'padre', only really calls him 'papa' when he's not feeling well or is really upset

had really long hair for a while, refused to cut it after he lost his mom since she used to cut it for him- finally let gabe start trimming it back after he began coping with the loss better

likes shiny trinkets! discovered what 'sun-catchers' are and promptly bought an armful of them- his room's window is lined with them like a bead curtain and it casts beautiful little prisms all over the room 🥺

completely enthralled with lava lamps and fish tanks, keeps his distance so they don't cool down too much but he will sit there and STARE

interested in cooking, mostly helps prep ingredients and pass gabe things or step in for long periods of stirring. he likes feeling useful and spending quality time with him 🐀

would call his partner his starlight, 'darling' 🥹

knows how to ballroom/slow dance, does not know how to do any other modern dances

enjoys running errands and doing domestic things, would be happy to help pick outfits, makeup choices, and would learn how to do hair if asked for help with styling it

surprisingly graceful, like a little prince 🥺

not much of a reader, but has a collection of classic books he likes to look at- he especially likes leather bound books for their texture

his birthday is december 22nd, usually the winter solstice! makes him a capricorn baby

has definitely thought about kids, since he was all his dad had for a while- would likely end up with twin boys tbh 🤫

--—--—--—--

snow and trick actually know each other, and refer to each other as their cousin! their dads are 'Tio', and they don't need to elaborate to know who they're talking about. trick calls snow 'Frosty' all the time, and when things start getting hot, snow will make the trip to aldersbrunn to see trick and his father instead of staying on his mountain 🐀 i imagine they met on accident through a witch's spell on trick's end- he just be in situations like that, but then he got too curious and insisted on talking to snow again after it got resolved

--—--—--—--

Trick

calls gabe 'pops' and 'the old man', has somehow gotten away with it his whole life

neither he nor pumpkin really cook- trick just cant be trusted in the kitchen, and gabe can't eat considering his whole... head situation

as such, trick is a regular at local places and makes alot of sandwiches. he is NOT to use the stove or oven unsupervised by any means

hes a runner hes a track star, baby- an excellent sprinter, even though he prefers to float around. often takes naps while kicked back with his hands behind his head, just chilling in the air

loves sunflower motifs, calls his partner mi sol, and his sunflower, constantly giving them fresh flowers and potted plants, even if they can't keep them alive 👉👉

he got his hands on a cannon and has formed an emotional attachment to it. its in the backyard and he calls it the executioner, cannot wait for the day he gets to use it on something

has a weak spot for birds, bats, and black cats, keeps feeding the local strays and loves it when they follow him around + let him pet them

keeps flirting with witches, is regularly getting curses removed at angela's when he pisses one off- continues to do it anyway + pays her off with errands, as much as gabe dislikes it

while candy apples are his absolute top, he also really likes butterscotch things and white chocolate! still easily bribed with sweets lmao

gets himself into situations by talking shit, proceeds to run away from it until he forgets 😮‍💨

his birthday is october 25th! spooky month and makes him a scorpio

this man does not need to be having babies, but if he did, would probably have two girls 🤔

--—--—--—--

Paint

gabe is EXCLUSIVELY 'papi', even when he's fully grown

goes by 'niki' instead of 'nico'!

actually a little shorter than the other variants, he's about shoulder/jaw height on gabe, and still pretty lean

total daddy's boy, but loves his mama very much too!

feral for pastel and soft things, he goes apeshit over easter decorations

desperately wants an irl barbie jeep 😭

romanticizes alot of things, and gets his feelings hurt when he gets too close to someone too quickly, does NOT learn his lesson 😮‍💨

loves and drinks a ridiculous amount of fruit juice and milk. strawberry milk is constantly being brought into the house and disappears just as quickly as it showed up

has had alot of the kids he babysat ask if they can marry him, has no idea how to tell them theyre more than half his age and way too young to be on that thought process lmao

sobs at sappy romance movies, can't watch horror movies or he has nightmares

keeps trying to get gabe to wear more colors and match outfits with him

has a surprising amount of social media followers considering he just posts aesthetics he likes, has a secret account he shares with his mama to document family pictures and videos

has a hammock in the backyard, often goes and takes naps on it- has fallen out of it repeatedly

very smug about being the only boy cheerleader in a group of girls in high school, but will cringe if you ask if he dated/slept with any of them

leans more towards dating boys than girls, but likes both tbh- just wants someone who sees him as niki, not commander reyes' kid- is terrified of bringing people home for that reason + gabes protectiveness 😞

loves street art, goes down alleys to look for some sometimes (also drives gabe nuts)

birthday is march 3rd, meaning he's a pisces!

has fantasized about getting married and having kids- wants both a boy and a girl ☺️