#Amos weird & chatty

[always-tilting-at-windmills]

Things Holden can’t do ……

[always-tilting-at-windmills]

Give Holden ☕️ Coffee & Hugs ⭐️

james “can’t catch a break” holden is lowkey the FUNNIEST character on the expanse and him thinking elvi was trying to comfort him when she was really having a scientific breakthrough makes me cackle every single time

this man has saved humanity more times than any one person should reasonably be expected to and the whole show is just him getting dunked on by everyone around him for 5 seasons straight

someone help him he is TRYING his BEST

[jamesholden]

you know what I noticed this season? Holden is unusually quiet.

Naomi has talked about how he gets weird and chatty under pressure or when he’s nervous and like idk this seems like Prime Nervous Energy Material. But because his family isn’t around and he isn’t as comfortable around Bull and Monica he’s just keeping it all in. Even his volume is low when he speaks his one line of 509 to Monica.

I think like... he’s really struggling. He’s trying to keep it all in and keep it together so he can finish the mission, get to Naomi, get to Alex, find out if Amos is okay, find out if his parents are all okay. He’s compartmentalizing like we’ve never seen him do, and he’s suffering in silence when he’d usually be talking to someone. And he knows NOTHING. He’s trying to work all of it out or get information and he’s learning nothing and that has to really scare him. All he knows is that he did as Naomi asked and didn’t go with her to help her and now she’s in trouble and out of reach and he can’t help her yet and he knows absolutely nothing except that she’s out there in trouble and it has to be eating him alive.

it’s just... really sad. and really well done that it’s like noticeable, since a few people I spoke to saw the same thing. Holden’s terrified he’s going to lose his family and he has nowhere to go with these feelings.

Weird and chatty Holden being replaced by quietly suffering Holden just makes me really sad.

EDIT: I forgot that the one time we DID see Holden talk about his feelings after Naomi left, HE DELETED THE MESSAGE AND RE-RECORDED.

[headbandsandflats]

Hi! Would love to know some totally random things about you while simultaneously providing the distraction you crave! How about ... 4, 15, 28, 49, 58 & 93 ?? Thanks!! 💕

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

This will shock anyone who has seen this blog, but TALKATIVE.  Like, so chatty that if they moved my seat away from a friend I would just end up talking with the people by my new seat.  My 6th grade teacher, who I adored, also rightfully noted that I am much more focused when I know what to expect.  Some days she would put a schedule of our day on the chalkboard and some days she wouldn’t and I was definitely more together when our day was laid out for us.  I wouldn’t say I’m great at following a schedule, but I like to know what’s coming.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The Giver (also Bridge to Terabithia, Our Town, and To Kill a Mockingbird - because why would I give one answer when I can give several).

28. five songs to describe you?

THIS IS SO HARD (I love music so much but sometimes I feel like I don’t have as straightforward a relationship with it as other people do).  I don’t know if these describe me as much as I relate to them, but it’s the best way I know how to answer it.

Funeral - Phoebe Bridgers 

Keep It Loose, Keep It Tight - Amos Lee

Far Away - Ingrid Michaelson

Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine

If We Were Vampires - Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Worry less about the person you once were, or the person you dream you will someday be.  Worry about the person you are now.  Or don’t even worry!  Just be that person.  Be the best version of that person you can be.  - Welcome to Night Vale

Everything is copy - Nora Ephron 

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I don’t know if I even have four talents to speak of, let alone four that I’m proud of?!  Um...I’m sometimes funny (is that a talent?!), I’m fairly well-written professionally (don’t hold this dumpster fire against me), I’m pretty good at trivia, and I can pick things up with my feet.  (I don’t actually think any of these are talents, or even skills, sorry!) 

93. nicknames?

Lots of family nicknames, but my nephew calls me Kiki, the same thing my brother called me when he was first talking and couldn’t say my whole name, and as much as I hated it when it came from my brother and then stuck around on and off for over 20 years, I love hearing it in my nephew’s sweet little voice.

Thank you!

weird asks

[brandyjin]

So here is another Hollow Knight OC, Bria, aka The Searcher of Greenpath, which designed and modified base on my websona.

Bria is a voidy creature who always disguise as a random mosskin look alike by wearing those leafy hood, and she like to wandering around and study the wonder of the nature of Hallownest. Sometimes she help The Hunter and other bugs at some tasks.

(Btw, under the cut is the totally nonsense crack fic thingy that I write for the first picture, and more explanation of Bria’s backstory.) 

(somehow this is the continuous from this)

The Collector: *Amazed* So... The Searcher of Greenpath, it is honored to get invited to your home as guest. Still, I am surprises that knowing you are not other bug but a Kingsmould under that leafy hood... you are... just like me...but different in many ways... Interesting... I should know that early from the weapon you hold, that curved claw-blade, since we did meets and fights few times already, you are pretty skilled on wielding it at combat... Does that mean we are, may be, siblings? And... How did you survive until now? 

Bria: *A bit uneasy* Kinda, I guess? Long story short, I suddenly gain conscious one day, got really fed up on our good ol’ king (and buzz saws, I swear to gods, who the hell think that is a good idea to install hundreds of them in the Palace?! Not mention those spikes, too!!!), run away from the White Palace, stay on Greenpath, with a disguise as a random mosskin look alike, continue wandering, searching the truth and the amaze of the nature... (well, something like that?), helping The Hunter and other bugs if I can. I literary live like a normal bug since then. No bug knowing me actually a Kingsmould, but just a weird looking bug, I wear the hood all the time. Also, most of bugs only recognize them because of that white  armor, (which I currently hid it at somewhere in here). I am more as a pacifism than being a fighter, unless I have no choice but battle to save bugs or survive. And...

Ghost: *Angry slap on the glass wall in jar* Enough chit chat, let me out now! 

Bria: *slightly annoyed get interrupt by ghost’s outburst* ...The little Cousin in your jar is one of a few survived vessels, hard to believe that I can see one now days. *Walk near to the jar* And... *Sudden wide eyes, more serious attitude and tone* Oh... now I see, Little Knight... The King’s Brand that you hold... The Void Heart that you gain... Mark you as the King, and the evidence of the ability to unify Void... The old jerk may died long ago, but his influence, good or bad, echoes around this kingdom still. The Wyrm ruins this beautiful kingdom and the cost to repair to its glorious old day is too much to be bear. Tell me, Little Knight, as The newly King of Hallownest, what is your great desire, for this dead kingdom? *still serious, looking at Ghost*    

Ghost and The Collector: *Stunned by sudden change of Bria’s attitude and tone, silent* ......

Bria: *aware that she went a little overboard, awkwardly change subject* Huh, speaking of which, does the little fire spitting brat belongs to you, Little Knight? The child chased and blasted me with their flame yesterday when I tried to explore the Dirtmouth while you were not looking around. My leafy cloak catch on fire and I had to throw it out before I got hurt by flame. The cloth currently is nothing but ash. Thus, I am going to find materials to remake it. *Turn to The Collector * By the way, just call me Bria, Collector...  sibling? I do suggest you to release our dear little Cousin here. It is rude to keep my other guest in the closing jar.

The Collector: *Still amazed and stunned a little*...Amos, also as a Void creature,  you are pretty chatty and really unpredictable sometimes, don’t you, Bria?

Ghost: ...Ghost, and guys, *knocking on glass* can you let me out now, please? *grumpy*

Thus, the uncommon friendship/kinship between different Voidlings and Voidkins was make at that day. Thanks to our dearly Grimmchlid. (Not really.)

Bria’s Backstory

Basically,  Bria is a (failed) Kingsmould due the fact she suddenly gain conscious and wills one day, but shortly she manage fake it out without The Pale King and his followers notice. Before she got the chance to escape from the White Palace, she was scared, and fear of the bugs and King to discover the fact she, a Kingsmould, the void creature who only created for serve the King and Kingdom, has her own identity, wills and thoughts. 

Bria finally escape to Greenpath on a mission. After discard and hidden her armor, she disguise herself as a random mosskin with the leafy cloak. Usually, she will wandering around to study the wonder of The Hallownest and sometime helping The Hunter and some bugs.

She actually a skilled wielder of the curved claw-blade like other Kingsmoulds, but she is a pacifism than a fighter, the weapon that she hold mostly use as a crutch, or temporary storage place sometimes.  

Although she is a pacifism, she will start to fight with her enemies and opponent, if there is no other option, or escape path. She and The Collector actually fights a lot, for the mission and tasks on saving the bugs who got kidnapped from The Collector. 

Even though Bria has supposition that The Collector is another failed Kingsmould just like herself, minus the fingers and the bigger, taller body, The Collector does not aware about Bria’s true identity, thanks to her leafy hood, which doing the great job to hid most of her voidy body underneath that piece of clothes.

Side note: The (fan)name of The Collector, Amos, is given by @inkscarlet in her fanfic, call “A Bright Gift”, which actually inspired me to create this void creature oc who has same nature (almost, with some tweaks here and there) as the version of The Collector in her fic (and fake screen shots). 

[always-tilting-at-windmills]

I love that Amos calls out Holden, during the unraveling. Because Holden didn’t stop him when he attacked the chicken guy. And Amos saw that clearly as a symptom that Holden is not okay. So, he initiated a conversation about it.

When Amos initiates a conversation about emotions:

1) it’s serious

2) he really cares about that person

Because Amos usually abdicates complex emotional decision making. He doesn’t worry about things. He’s one & done and moves on. So, when he does engage and start a conversation it’s very significant. Because typically he has the “check please” attitude.

Holden: *slowly unravels over the course of several episodes, focussed VERY CLEARLY on the Protomolecule*

Naomi, Amos, Alex: what's going on?

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 38: London

Her moving day came faster than she expected. She was surprised when HR called her a week ago announcing her visa had been approved and issued and that she could chose a date for the company to buy her ticket. Her breath was caught on her throat and she chose the last available date they offered her. She knew she’d have to move, she was looking forward to live by herself, she wanted to be close to Harry and she wanted the whole experience, but at the same time she didn’t want to leave her mom alone. Although now she wasn’t alone anymore. She didn’t want to leave her friends behind, she didn’t want to give up this sense of normalcy she felt living in this city. But she had accepted the job, she was qualified enough to do it and London was such an amazing city that she knew it’d be only a matter of time before she was used to live there. She worked overtime everyday because there were some last adjustments she had to do before the transfer, she asked the London based HR to go visit the flat she had chosen to see if it was really like the ad, she had cleaned her wardrobe and donated everything she didn’t wear anymore and packed her things. It was a weird feeling to pack all of her clothes inside the only three luggage she was allowed. Some of her personal items her mom would send her through mail, but she had to make sure to bring as much as she could. She did every task carefully and methodically and didn’t think much about this big step she was taking.

Her friends threw her a going away party at Villa where she drank and danced and had a great time. It was difficult to say goodbye to them, but they all were eager to see her accomplishing one more dream.

Her mom cried the whole week and made sure to cook her favorite foods everyday. She even went to sleep with Carol one of those nights and they spent it talking about their memories, the moments they shared and how much their lives had changed for the better after the last few years. Maria was emotional because not only her only baby was leaving the house, she was moving to another country where she knew only a few people. And the fact that she’d be closer to Harry was what made her sleep peacefully at night. She knew he’d take a great care of her daughter but at the same time she feared that now, that they were going to spend a lot of time together, it’d be easier for the press to discover who she was. And the last thing Maria wanted for Carolina was having lots of people taking pictures of her while she was adapting to a new environment and city. She was also thankful for Hailey and Agnes, the latter saying she’d do anything in her power to help Carol to settle. But her mom heart was already wanting to book a flight for the next week just to make sure everything was alright with her.

Needless to say they both cried their eyes out at the airport. Flavio had taken them, helped her to send her luggage away and she waited until the last minute to board. Carol tightly hugged her mother while her tears fell freely on her face. She thought this was the worst part of this dream. She had to say goodbye to someone she was used to see and talk to everyday. She was saying goodbyes to their inner jokes, to their breakfast and for all the times Carol got grumpy when her mom woke her up early.

“Vai com Deus, filha. Se cuida, toma muito cuidado, não anda sozinha de noite e não confia de cara nas pessoas.” Maria said rubbing circles on her daughter’s back. [May God accompany you, daughter. Take care, be careful, don’t walk by yourself at night and don’t trust people easily.]

Carol couldn’t find her voice to answer her mom.

“Alimente-se direito, me ligue todos os dias, ajude a Agnes a cuidar da Hailey e, principalmente, aproveite esse sonho que você conseguiu realizar.” [Eat properly, call me everyday, help Agnes to take care of Hailey and most of all, enjoy this dream becoming true.]

“Eu te amo, mãe. Obrigada por tudo. Se eu cheguei até aqui foi porque você lutou e acredito em mim todos esses anos.” Carol said looking at her mom in the eye and drying her tears. [I love you, mum. Thank you for everything. If I got here it was because you fought for me and believed in me all these years.]

“Eu também te amo, meu amor.” Maria answered her daughter and they heard the call for the passengers to board the plane to London. [I love you too, my love.]

She hugged her mom one more time and then she hugged Flavio and asked him to take care of her. He made her promise that she’d have a great time in London and Maria made her promise to call as soon as she landed.

She got her bag and her passport and waving her family goodbye she walked forward to go to the waiting room of the airline. She didn’t have to wait longer and she was one of the first passengers to board the plane. As always, she chose the seat by the window and got settled. Her heart was heavy and happy, her mind was racing and her fears were starting to grow. Would she adapt? Would she like living there? What if she didn’t like to work at the London headquarter? What if she didn’t make any friends? What if she didn’t understood what people would say to her?

She spent half of the flight thinking about the pros and cons and all the things that could go wrong, but at some point she thought she’d have to face her fears anyway and she’d have to keep doing the great job she always did.

(…)

Her immigration at the Heathrow airport was fast but the official asked way more questions and gave her some forms that she’d have to take to the company she’d be working at and the Brazilian embassy. She thanked him, retrieved her luggage and organized them in a cart. She was tired and sleepy and wanted to take a shower, but she’d have to leave her bags at Hailey’s and got fetch her flat’s keys today. She thought it was funny that she was arriving in London on January 25th, because that was São Paulo’s anniversary day.

She didn’t expect to see balloons and people waiting for her when she arrived. But Hailey was there with lots of pink balloons -the pinkest ones Carol had ever seen- and she let out a squeal when she saw Carol arriving. She was accompanied by a very classy woman that she soon recognized as Agnes. She smiled and walked up to them and hugged her sister tightly. It was funny how much Carol had missed this spoiled brat.

“IT TOOK YOU TOO LONG TO ARRIVE.” Hailey stated and Carol laughed. “I thought you had changed your mind.”

“Well… that thought did cross my mind at some point, yeah.” the brunette answered adjusting her handbag.

“You better be joking, bitch. I’d kill you.” Hailey answered smiling. “It’s already too bad you had to chose the last fucking data available.’

“Hailey! That’s no way to talk to someone.” Agnes intervened.

“Sorry, mom.” the blond said looking at her mom. “Well… should I make the introductions? Carolina, this is my mom Agnes. Mum, this is Carolina, my sister.”

“I’m glad I’m finally meeting you properly.” Agnes said surprising Carol with a hug.

“Me too. Those Skype calls don’t make you justice, Agnes. You’re beautiful.” Carol said and Agnes simply shook her head.

“Shall we go then, girls?” she asked and looked at them.

“We shall.” Hailey answered and helped Carol push the cart with her bags.

Agnes was as chatty as Carol and Hailey and even after traffic, none of them seemed to notice the hour long drive to the city. In the mean time Carol sent a few texts to let her friends and family know she had arrived and that she was fine. She went to Hailey’s place and had lunch with them before Agnes left for work. She took a long shower and was about to ask for a nap when her phone buzzed. Her ride to her new apartment had arrived and she wouldn’t be able to sleep now. She changed clothes, informed her sister – that was now studying, which surprised Carol immensely – that she was going out and she waited for him on the street. She smiled and when noticed the black range rover and she climbed the passengers seat when he unlocked the doors.

“Hello there.” he said looking at her and his heart started to beat faster.

“Hey.” she said looking at him and kissing his cheek.

“How was your flight?” he asked turning on the engine of the car and driving them from Belgravia to Notting Hill.

“It was a good one. But I couldn’t sleep a bit.” she answered looking at him. “How are you?”

“I’m better now that my best friend is officially a Londoner.” he answered. “What’s the address?”

“8, Walmer Road.” she answered.

He drove for about twenty minutes before finding a place to park. He got out of the car and opened the door for her. He kissed the palm of her hands and she hugged him and whispered “I missed you.”

He simply smiled and holding her hand he put on his cap and adjusted his scarf. He waited while she went to the administrative building of the flat and she got the keys faster than he expected. He held her hand while she opened the gate, discovered which path one had to take to find her building inside the condo and they decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator to get there faster.

She took a deep breath when she opened the door. Even though it was a small flat, it was bigger than she imagined and had great lighting. Thankfully it didn’t face the street, because she knew that sooner or later she’d be discovered and she didn’t like the idea of paps taking pictures of her home from the street.

Right in front of her front door was the bathroom. It was well maintained and had a bath but no windows, to the left was her spacious reception room where she was already picturing a living room and a dining room. The windows were big and it even had a small fireplace which would be handy in the winter. And to the right, after passing the entrance door, there was a small kitchen where all appliances were hidden but she was thankful she didn’t have to buy a stove, fridge, washing machine and microwave. And beside the kitchen was her bedroom, with built-in wardrobe and spacious enough for her.

“It looks pretty comfortable.” she said looking at Harry.

“It is. It’s very cozy.” he commented looking at the window and she sighed.

“I really wish to rest, but I have to clean the flat and I have to go buy things to fill this in. I don’t want to stay at Hailey’s for longer than what I absolute have.” she said pouting and he smiled at how cute she looked doing that.

“The perks of living alone...” he said and went to her. “I can help you, you know. But you also don’t have to rush things.”

“I want it somewhat livable by the time I start working again.” she answered.

“When is it again?” he scratched his forehead.

“February 12th.” she answered and looked around again. “Do you know if there’s any store nearby?”

“There’s a Tesco near Holland Park. It’s not far from here.” he said already getting his car keys from the kitchen counter where he had left them.

“You can stay here if you want.” she said dressing again her coat. “Because now with this beard you’re easily recognizable.” she said and looked at him. “I was actually surprised to see you by yourself. Where’s Bill?”

“I’ll go with you. And don’t worry, no one expects me to be at Tesco. So I guess we’re good to go. And I gave him the day off. He’s quite nosy when he wanst to be.” he laughed and waited for her while she locked the door.

She was quick finding what she needed at the store. She filled a cart with cleaning products and a few things like cloth hangers and toilet paper support. She even bought some things for them to snack later. They were back in no time and Harry surprised Carol by undressing his heavy coat and folding his shirt’s sleeves to help her clean the flat. They didn’t think it’d be as dirty as it was because it seemed clean. But when the soap and water started to roll, they groaned frustrated as how dirty it was. It took them a few hours to clean everything. Floor, windows, walls, shelves and built-ins. Harry even drove again to Tesco to buy the right fireplace cleaning products after she said she’d fetch them herself. He simply was out of her flat before she could think of more arguments to why he shouldn’t be wandering around London by himself. She waited for him with sandwiches and orange juice and they ate it seated at the kitchen counter.

“Thank you for helping me today, Harry.” she said when he parked his car in front of Hailey’s place later in the evening.

“You know you don’t have to thank me for anything. I’ll be here tomorrow early so we can hit Argos and IKEA and you can finally put your house together.” he said mocking the comments she spent the whole afternoon making.

“Well, I’ll appreciate that.” she answered and got her back to leave his car. “Good night, Harry.”

“Night, babe.” he answered and she looked at him. Out of an impulse she leaned in and pecked his lips and lingered for longer before getting out of the car. Harry was with a huge grin on his face. Maybe luck would be on his side now that she was living in London.

A/N: So there we have it. Another chapter, Carol’s finally living in London and that’s when our history becomes even more interesting. 

By the way, for those of you who asked me, Carol’s name is pronounced: kah-ro-LEE-nah. The Brazilian/Spanish way. ;)

[always-tilting-at-windmills]

[always-tilting-at-windmills]

[always-tilting-at-windmills]

Still not over it 🤯

Keyboard ⌨️ smash 💥 of emotions 🚨

You know someone’s gonna try and test us, right? Nah. Not today. They’re saving their bullets for each other.

[always-tilting-at-windmills]

[always-tilting-at-windmills]

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Love is Love 💕

Because Holden talks the same way to Naomi as he does Amos. ❤️‍🩹

[always-tilting-at-windmills]

🚨Action Hero Holden & Emergency Amos 🚨

The perfect combination 👍

[always-tilting-at-windmills]

[always-tilting-at-windmills]