#Also makes sense to me that his best is mental connection because of the whole can opening and detective thing

[bruised-punk]

The Calore Bros are Nightwing and Red Hood Coded

"Do you think we're brothers in every universe?"

Yes! 

Welcome to Punk's mental gymnastics, this episode we're talking about how Cal and Maven Calore, are Dick Grayson (Nightwing) and Jason Todd (Red Hood) coded.

I know you’re thinking, but Punk, how could you say this? Dick and Jason didn’t have that great of relationship before Jason died, after all Dick had already moved away, he was well on his journey as Nightwing, and he and Bruce weren't on the best of terms, and he and Jason didn

Sit down, allow me to explain.

Red Queen 1 Maven and Cal are Dick and Jason during Jason's run as Robin. Putting aside all that was going on with Dick and Bruce and the fact that Jason and Dick never really lived together.

Maven and Jason were always trying to live up to the expectations other people put on them because of who their older brothers were. Dick was the first robin, the boy wonder, he's every aspiring hero's idol, the golden boy, he's the leader of the Titans, Batman's greatest creation, the Dark Heir, he left Gotham and built his own legacy, Nightwing the hero of Blüdhaven. For a young hero in the DC universe if there's anyone you want to become it's Nightwing. For Bruce, Nightwing is everything that Batman was supposed to be.

In this sense Cal is similar to Dick. He's the perfect son, the golden heir. He's that last connection his father has to his mother, Coriane. He was wanted. When people look to him they see Norta's glittering future, they see a strong and powerful son of House Calore. A warrior, a battle strategist, a master of his Silver ability. Everything Cal does is impressive and exceeds expectations. People know he will be a good king. He is everything a prince of Norta should be.

When it comes to Jason it's the exact opposite. People were pissed when Jason came along as the new robin (or so I've heard, I wasn't alive then). They didn't like that he was replacing Dick and everything he did was met with some form for backlash. (The fans literally voted for Jason to get killed off). (There was a fan who wanted Jason gone so badly that they voted a bunch of times just to make sure Jason got killed off). This is where the whole "Jason is the violent Robin, Jason is the angry Robin, Jason is the aggressive Robin" comes from. Even though Jason was a pretty silly and happy at the start of his Robin run. When he and Bruce start having tension over Jason's use of "excessive force" it begins establishing this idea that Jason will never be good enough, he'll never be Nightwing, which follows him into his Red Hood era. For most young heros in the DC universe, for the robins that came after him, Jason is a cautionary tale. For Bruce, Jason, Red Hood, is Batman's Greatest failure.

Here's where Maven mirrors Jason. Because like Jason, Maven will never and was never going to ever measure up to his brother. It didn't matter if he was a scholar or that if he was a student of the arts like theater or literature (also like Jason). He's not as physically strong as Cal, he's not as good of a fighter as Cal, he doesn't have as much control over his ability (yet) as Cal does. In the scope of things his father only needed him to be there in case something ever happened to Cal. (Whether you want to debate Tibe's love for Maven is a whole other conversation). He's the spare but he's not perceived as a very good one. In the eyes of the Silver Court, he's weak and thus a very bad prince of norta.

So of course further down the line all four of them become everything they were expected to be, no matter if they wanted to or not.

Dick doesn't want to become Batman, he already has his own identity, his own life, but he takes up the mantle because he knows that someone has to wear the cowl, Gotham needs Batman.

As the Red Queen series goes on Cal doesn't want to be the king that his father was, or expected him to be, but he assumes the throne because he's under the impression that Norta needs a king, that the cost of the change that the Scarlet Guard is trying to achieve will result in too high of a price to pay.

Eventually though both Dick and Cal renounce this role that they don't want to play. When Bruce comes back from whatever weird adventure he got caught up in, he becomes Batman again, and Dick goes back to being Nightwing. And in Broken Throne, Cal renounces the crown, the Kingdom of Norta dissolves into the Nortan states, and he's free to pursue a life of his own choosing.

Maven and Jason become their "true" selves, or the selves that everyone always figured they would become either because of their emotions (in Jason's case) or because of who they were related to (In Maven's case), and its made possible by just how isolated they were when they were younger. Unlike is predecessor or his successors, Jason didn't have a superhero team when he was Robin. Occasionally he would go on missions with the Titans but they weren't his Titans in the same way they were Dick's or that Young Justice was Tim's. His world was school, home, and Batman and Robin. That's it. He didn't really have any friends. Neither did Maven. Cal had friends. Dick had friends. Jason and Maven not so much. They had their brothers (for the most part in Jason's case) and one parental figure each to sort of make up their social circles.

(Not that I'm comparing Elara and Bruce. Bruce has his issues, but nothing like Elara. That's a whole other conversation).

So naturally there's nothing really keeping them from becoming the "monsters" everyone always expected them to become.

Maven does what he does because he believes that this is how he’s going to beat Cal, this is how he’s going to BE Cal. He commits every violent, vile act with the intention of being just as ruthless of his mother because he’s supposed to be just like his mother.

Nothing stops Jason from becoming Red Hood, from trying to punish Batman for not avenging him, for attacking Tim in Titans Tower while wearing a robin costume (these theater kids jesus). He does that all on his own because well he's the "violent" robin isn't he? He thinks well, it's his fault that he got killed isn't it? He trusted someone he shouldn't have (his mother, oh would you look at that Maven was also betrayed by his mother, I'll explain more later on) she betrayed him, gave him up to the Joker, and he got killed. Bruce didn't get there in time, but he's not upset that Bruce didn't save him. No, Jason's upset that Bruce didn't avenge him, that Bruce didn't break his no kill and put the Joker down after he killed him.

In the same way Maven's resentment towards his father comes from both the constant comparisons to Cal, but also because his father wasn't paying attention. Even though Elara was the one who cut out parts of his brain, even though Elara was betraying him—and she was betraying him because she was his mother and she was supposed to protect him, to keep him safe, she wasn't supposed to hurt him—in his mind, if his father had been paying more attention then he could’ve done about it. It doesn't matter that it's actually not that easy, or that Elara kept him isolated for that very reason, Maven won't ever know if his father could've done something about it. Just like Jason doesn't know that Superman kept Batman from beating the Joker to death.

Dick and Cal are the only people in Jason and Maven's lives who have always looked out for them. Dick was pissed when Jason died and Bruce didn't tell him. He was pissed that he missed the funeral. Dick killed the Joker for Jason (even though Jason doesn't know this) and the only reason the Joker is still alive is because Bruce brought him back. Even when they were fighting each other like that one kinda weird comic where Jason dresses up like Nightwing (this theater kid I swear) Dick is still trying to save Jason because this is his little brother and he already lost him once and he's not going to lose him again.

Likewise Cal never stopped trying to find ways to help Maven throughout the series. It's literally every single other character (which it's understandable for a lot of them) who look at him like he's lost his damn mind whenever he suggests the possibility of finding someone who can give his little brother the mental health care he needs.

Because of this, Jason and Maven both give their respective older brothers a means of relief from the pain of what became of their respective relationship. Jason writing Dick a letter saying that they could try and see if they could still be family. Maven pushing Cal away with hurtful words to make him believe that there was nothing in him that could be salvaged (when there was) and saving him the anguish of executing what he thought was still his little brother.

Bit of a long one but there you go! the Calore bros are Batbros coded with many differences the main one being that for the Calore bros death was final in their story.

"Maven Calore: Beloved Son, Beloved Brother. Let No One Follow"

And for Jason and Dick death was just a turning point in theirs.

"In Memory of Robin: A Good Soldier"

[scribbledghost]

Hi!! okay so this may be kind of a weird ask and im not very good at english-ing despite it being the literal only language i speak so bare with me here.

ive been obsessing over your inhuman!polyvessel headcanons and i was kind of wondering, how do you think the vessels would deal with a partner with ocd? like actual ocd, not the whole perfectionism shabang and more like someone who struggles with paranoia or intrusive thoughts. (especially considering thier whole telepathy thing)

i know this is kind of a heavier topic, so if your not comfortable writing something like this i'd totally understand.

sooooo full disclosure here: I also have OCD! Diagnosed, meds, therapy, the works. It sucks. I hate it. But all this is to say this ask isn't too heavy at all, and I'm more than happy to give my insight on it. I'm gonna try to make this as vague as possible with regards to the compulsions/intrusive thoughts, just because there are so many different kinds of OCD that I don't want to pin it to just one subtype.

I like to think all of the vessels would be very gentle with you on this. They'll notice some things here and there, like repetitive behaviors, constantly checking on things, etc. But when it really hits them is when Vessel starts to explain to you about the mental connection they all share (and the fact that they can peek into your mind) and those intrusive thoughts come screaming in like a freight train. He doesn't have to look into your mind to see how distressed you are about the idea, and he makes quick work of reassuring you that it's not something they're constantly tuned-in to. Sure, they can usually sense vague feelings, but they can only hear your specific thoughts if they intentionally try to. But the damage is done, and Vessel (plus the others after a while) spends the better part of an hour struggling to help you calm down. Once they help you through that particular episode, they'll probably sort of sit down with you and try to ask you, essentially, "what the fuck was that".

Almost immediately after you explain what's going on and what OCD is, II's off to the library to see what he can dig up about it. Particularly what sorts of things helps with it, what kinds of things make it worse, and maybe what he can do to help. Sleep is already manifesting a few journals and studies for him while he's on his way. The others stick around to talk to more about it, as they want to get an idea about your specific experiences with it. I think quick deal is also made here: none of them will ever tiptoe into your thoughts unless they ask you first. It may not help the paranoia as much as they'd like, since they can still sense feelings, but it's the most they can offer: a genuine promise to respect those boundaries.

To say it'll take some getting used to and some trial-and-error is a bit of an understatement. They have the absolute best intentions, but we all know that doesn't mean things won't go sideways sometimes. They may interrupt your compulsions at first, thinking they're helping you to stop doing them but as a result they just make you more frantic and upset. Or they might endlessly reassure you any time you ask, completely unaware that they're essentially playing into your compulsions and making them worse.

Over time, however, a smoother routine develops as they all become more aware of your OCD and the ins and outs of it. Any sort of help they can offer, they'll gladly do so. They want to know how they can best come to your aid the next time the urge to do those behaviors presents itself. They'll stay by your side, and help you no matter what, all you need to do is talk to them and tell them what you need.

Sometimes what you need is help slowing down the compulsions or help doing them less. I think II is best here, as he can be more firm and would be a better guiding hand to hold you accountable. Did you decide beforehand to only do your compulsion [x] amount of times? He'll keep count, then gently work with you to steer you away when you hit that limit.

Sometimes what you need is to be left alone to do them, then offered comfort and care afterwards. I think this is more IV's place, where he can simply stand by, keep an eye on you to make sure you don't cross the line into being dangerous to yourself, then making sure you're taken care of when you start to come down.

Sometimes what you need is a soft, quiet presence while you resist doing the compulsions at all, just sitting with your anxiety and waiting for it to dissipate naturally without the help of those behaviors. Vessel is good at this; he won't say a word unless you indicate you want conversation. He's more than happy to simply sit nearby or hold you through your fear, making sure you're not doing this alone.

I think III can be a bit of a wild card, and can flip between being good at helping you slow down your compulsions and sticking close by when you resist doing them completely. I think he'd struggle sitting idly by and letting you run the course of them, just because he'd want to pull you away or interrupt you in some manner.

Overall, I think they also try to keep things as normal as possible without making you feel abandoned or alone. They don't want to center everything around your OCD and constantly remind you of it, but they don't want you to think they don't care about your struggles with it either. Above all, they want you to feel safe with them. They want you to feel secure, and they want you to know they've got you.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Hong Seunghan Perspective Reading

Disclaimer: No facts, all alleged. This is my interpretation of the cards.

Alright, time to check in on a requested idol. I will see what he can give me. I don't have much information on him, so I am interested to see what I can pick up on. Now, I remember quite liking his energy from the few readings I have done on him, so let's see what he shares.

The song he gives me is Shattered Glass by Britney Spears, which could indicate things falling apart, or things falling to pieces. Let's go to the cards to see what I get there. I don't particularly like seeing the colorless Angel card. It could indicate someone devoid of emotions. He could be just completely drained from the industry. I hear, blindsided. I just think all that may have happened has left him drain and done with things.

This card is reminding me of the 10 of Swords, just mentally done, betrayed and backstabbed he may feel. It is like he has no emotions or energy to put into things. I wonder if he deals with depression. He feels caged in, pretty much unable to be himself. And needed to fit a mold or certain image. I am getting a nuse around him, don't like hearing that. He is highly controlled as well. That kind of makes sense, since there have been scandals around him, whether we think it is bad or not. The company still doesn't like it, so they keep him on a tight leash.

I see him feeling shame, probably being belittled for what he may have done or caused. He kind of feels ashamed for what has happened to him, so he may have been humbled or kind of lost his confidence due to what may have happened with him.

Not sure what his relationship is with his Father, but that is popping up here. He may play a significant role for him. Maybe he models his Dad, tries to be like him. His Dad could be a bit strict and controlling, just a sense, not getting a strong indicator there.

I am getting a sense of self-doubt with him. Uncertain of who he really is, or he is trying to define himself. Does he try to mirror his Father or appease him, but it seems to also try to define himself and be himself. It is like a double edge sword there. I see him crying a lot or just being very emotional about things. He could be someone who is emotional mess. This whole experience can be very emotional for him.

He tends to struggle to play the part or act the part of an idol, or he may have felt his idol image is tarnished due to all that has happened to him. He kind of has this rebellious nature, so it is hard for him to act properly at all times. He seems to be an imaginative person, someone hopeful and optimistic. He could have a childlike wonder. He is someone that tends to hope for the best. His dreams can also be giving him signs.

He could have lost some friends over this, or maybe feels betrayed by friends. He may struggle to make some. I see him struggling to make the best connections and connects with the wrong type of people. Because this dude lacks confidence in himself. He may struggle to find his right type of people in his life. His closest friends could be his worst enemies and he seems unaware of this, due to lacking self-confidence. He tends to attract the wrong people. He seems a bit naive to other people's intentions.

He seems to be a positive light to others. Has this magnetizing force. Which can bring unwanted attention. Not sure what that means, just the messenger here. He seems very naive to me, like he jumps into things without fully thinking it through. He struggles to cut out negativity and toxicity in his life or people who may have this tendency. He seems to put his energy to others but doesn't put much into himself.

It does seem he is destined, or he is highly motivated to achieve success even though all this has happened to him, like this may have needed this to happen to him. I know that is hard to understand on a human level, but spiritually and on a soul level it is a lesson he needed to learn. It is to help him understand to find structure and stability in his life and to learn to plan long-term, as he seems a bit unstable and lacks a strong foundation.

Either he seemed to have shut down that emotional, childlike, imaginative side of him or the cards are telling him to be a bit more mature and realistic about things in life. As he struggles with realism and being more practical when it comes to life. He seems to be a bit too dreamy and idealistic about things. It is like the cards are saying, get to it, do the groundwork, get realistic. I don't know how old he is, but the cards/spirit wants him to be more like an adult and he may struggle to act that way.

Of course he would get water energy. His foundation is based on his emotions I see and what I have been getting. This is someone pretty vulnerable and I say to manipulation, so he needs to be careful with that. Someone very romantic, idealistic and imaginative. He is a fluid person, someone willing to compromise, maybe even himself. But he needs to find balance in his life. He should bring a bit of Earth energy into his space, then just relying on his emotions or running by them.

Having this balance can bring peace to his life. He is a positive person. He is all about bringing good vibes to others and making others happy and smile, in turn it makes him happy. He just wants his environment to be happy and comfortable. He seems to be the type who doesn't want or like too much drama, so I can see why this whole situation could have been challenging for him.

Now that I have finished this. I can say I still like his energy. He seems like a sweetheart, but very naive and gullible that it can put him in bad situations. I say he may need to build a strong foundation and gain more confidence in himself. He needs a stronger core identity and not get lost in others, so he doesn't get manipulated.

Now, I will be getting to all the members of Riize, as Wonbin and Eunseok are people of interest as of now. Also, not sure why Lucas popped up here, but going to need to get to him too. So, those three will be on my list. Anyway, I enjoyed this reading and getting to know his energy a bit better and I quite like him.

[2hoothoots]

In all honesty, the funniest thing about this trio (lili/dogen/raz) is the context— like Lili is the daughter of the HEAD of the psychonauts, a prestigious line dating back to the founders, known for their capabilities with fern and then you have dogen who’s the son of another line of prestigious psychics concerning both ACTUAL MURDER and animal telepathy

And then you have like

Some fucking circus dude

Like Raz is a fucking prodigy in itself but from the outside view he is really just “some dude— oh wait, oh shit.” These bitches go to parties and take smug satisfaction in introducing local circus man who also saved the world

yeah, pretty much

(BUT ALSO joking aside this is kind of one of the reasons i think they thematically work so well as a trio! mini-essay under cut)

because that’s exactly it, right – Lili and Dogen both grew up immersed in this world. they’re part of it, part of the community, their families are intimately linked with the founding of the Psychonauts. Lili’s dad is the Grand Head, the boss of this organisation that Raz, meanwhile, is so desperate to join. because Raz is the outsider to all of this – he so badly wants to be a part of the action, the heroism, the community. (and also, sure, we find out in PN2 he technically has that family connection too – but he also has, uh, really good reasons not to make that public knowledge lol)

so many of Lili and Raz’s interactions in PN1 turn on the fact that Lili finds camp so routine as to be entirely boring, whereas Raz is so unashamedly passionate about everything. he’s so completely starry-eyed to get a glimpse into this world, and meet the heroes from his comic books – and his enthusiasm ends up being infectious! it’s what Lili needs to break out of her own apathy, and they start conspiring and arranging midnight rendezvous and going on this whole adventure together… and the rest is history.

i just really like how that setup – Lili and Dogen having grown up with the Psychonauts, Raz being an outsider – manifests in a unique dynamic for each of the pairs, y’know? i write Lili and Dogen as childhood friends. they’ve known each other the longest of the three, they have so many shared experiences, and i think on some level they understand each other the best because of how they’ve come from such similar places. Lili and Raz have this incredible shared passion, they hype each other up and feed each others’ senses of wonder and enthusiasm. and for Dogen and Raz – Raz is one of the only people who treats Dogen as just a person, first and foremost. he’s not cowed by his family’s reputation at all, he doesn’t have any of the baggage that so many people do when they hear the name “Boole”... it’s so unexpected and refreshing for Dogen that he can’t help getting attached!

(and not to get too deep, but it’s especially compelling to me when you consider how the game’s narrative around psychic powers is one that parallels neurodivergence, mental illness, trauma, and broad themes of “otherness”... it’s a thread i like to tease at sometimes around how communities can form, and things can bring people together and individuals can find each other and be seen in their shared experiences. it’s funny but it’s also sweet! it’s really sweet to me.)

[retrorabbits]

A really crazy question came to me, I imagine this... If Bon the cartoon became conscious out of nowhere, how would the whole group take it?

Hiii these are awesome questions! I'm so glad ya'll want to know more about their lore! So- Bon never gets a consciousness, canonly. But, close enough, Lucky's consciousness is inputted into Frank's (cartoon Frankie) world! For a purpose of course- The higher-ups wanted to test if they could temporarily put a contestant's consciousness into his world, to add some spice to the gameshow! Put them through a 2D video game, in a way! Getting a certain amount of health and if they fuck up, and are killed in Frank's world, they die physically as well.

So, obviously, Lucky was the guinea pig for stuff like this. So he was hooked up, all set and ready, and when his body went into a stage of stasis, on the screen, there popped a chocolate rabbit who looked OH SO similar to a certain scrapped rival character. This was on purpose I'd say, since there were plenty of comments on Lucky's chocolate brown hair, hazel eyes, freckles- even had a bow that resembled rabbit ears.

(please note Lucky is a bit outdated here but point still stands)

How Does Franklin (Monster Frankie) React?:

Not much. If anything he's bummed he's going to get used less if this idea goes through. The most he does is sit by Lucky's physical body and poke it sometimes, though he's very protective of it and will sometimes pet Lucky's limp arm the same way Lucky sometimes pets his ears to keep him relaxed. He'll also try to feed him cereal by pushing it against the screen with his big ass hand- it's sweet

How Does Francis / Frankie (The Other) React?:

Well, he's the one responsible for setting Lucky up in the first place- but when he pops up as Bon- he's cooing about it like "Ohhho now I see what Frank's been on about! Just look at you!" While clasping his hands together and resting his cheek on them- just like "I could just- no I WOULD just eat you up if I could!" Obviously, he'd be in shock for some mere seconds before that, but he'd just find it sweet. I'd say he's the most enthusiastic about it- until he remembers- oh yeah- his Lucky contestant is stuck in there for a few days so all their banter will be from behind a screen. POV Frankie learns about long distance.

How does Frank React?:

Now Frank is the one who was most upset about Bon never getting consciousness- to the point he actively started calling Lucky nothing but Bon when he saw his face. The similarities between them were enough for him to start projecting onto him- trying to pick fights to match that dynamic the nonsentient version of him, and Bon had.

But Lucky isn't exactly the same as Bon. Bon is snarky, sarcastic, high up his own ass, and very particular. He would always feed in deliciously to whatever plot point was thrown at him. Lucky was not the same. Lucky would sometimes jokingly feed into Frank's attempts at headbutting (including actually headbutting with him to start). But overall, when he mellows out, he's a genuine rather soft-spoken guy. Way more conflict-avoidant than Bon ever was. Making the best of his situation even with how- weird it is and how much of a toll the show takes on his mental health. People ARE still dying and he never gets used to that.

Even voice-wise they're different, which makes sense:

Bon is the Grinch because he's more prone to conflict but he can have genuine heartfelt moments, for the majority of the plot he's usually the cynical rival

Lucky is Tramp because he's a soft-spoken, sweet man who's trying to make the best of his situation and is a romantic at heart. Sure he can be rougher around the edges and have playful conflicts with Frank or Franklin, but he is entirely well-meaning and wants connection.

So this just makes that projection so much worse. But it also showcases even further just how different Lucky is from Bon because he doesn't feed into Frank's attempts at a scuffle almost at all. He's not his rival, he's not the guy Frank misses so much. He's not the guy Frank has been "in love with" for so many years. He's Lucky, and it's really the first step in Frank realizing, yeah. You got to look past that similarity and realize you won't make a connection until you accept he's not the person you envision him as! They got a lot of slow-burn stew cooking basically- it's messy and I love it.

[cosmos-cloud]

—Tpot 16 Spoilers—

I NEED to talk about this episode, not for very long but just enough to get it out of my system

(actually it’s longer than I anticipated you have been warned)

WE ALL SAW IT COMING, DEPRESSION ARK TWO DID HAPPEN and listen, I was a big fan of Gaty and Two’s relationship mostly because I liked how wise Gaty sounded when discussing Two’s problems, and how even us viewers could learn something about them. But Gaty being eliminated, placed in the kitchen and then disappearing (kidnapping :[ ) giving us a very guilty Two is still something I am very interested about where it could go next, because let’s all be honest, Two won’t be grieving all season. I mostly foresee they’ll try hosting again next episode still in the stages of grief and possibly even break down. Of course, I feel bad for them… but plot wise, I really like where this could go.

And Then What Do We Have- - -

Book; I am LOVING her being able to make friends again, she finally truly healed!! Ice cube getting out was the best outcome between the two (if you ask me), and even tho their official reconciliation is a bit underwhelming, I don’t care, it makes sense, Ice cube isn’t a very talkative person and the fewer words she needs to explain herself, the better for her. Book being able to connect with Winner is also a great thing, and a great way to show how far she has come, plus, Winner really seems to have needed that. Now if she can not be up for elimination too early again that’d be great—

Pencil; Okay I raise my hand to announce that I am neutral when it comes to her voting results. I didn’t vote to save her, but I am not actively looking towards her getting out. She’s getting an ark (a big one too), so it would suck if she does get out, but she also had it coming. Now One thing I do have to say about her is I did NOT expect her being scared of Four to THAT level. Of course, it makes sense in a psychological point of view, she’s been stuck in the EXIT the longest, but the way she acted during the escape didn’t show as much fear towards him so I think it’s a bit more understandable to not have seen it coming. Another thing is how she kinda dragged her team everywhere the whole episode and more importantly, how they just let her do it (except Pillow obviously). This might just be me over analyzing it, but they might all be worried about her yet scared to do anything, and this is mostly backed by the van segments. They care (some of them more than others), but she’s hard to approach… most of the effort they put is or ignored by her, or seen negatively by her making it pretty much useless if not almost dangerous.

Pen and Liy; So first off, I’m sure I’m not the only one that remembers how as soon as Liy joined, it’s Pen and almost exclusively Pen that she seems to care about. Yes it’s because of old Death Pact and all, but she also seemed to take Pen’s whole "friends loosing" situation very seriously, which connects with the event of this episode. We know Liy always had her redemption mentality of feeling a strong urge to help to make up for her mistakes, something she talks about alot, but what I find most interesting is how she acknowledges her anger issues and mostly how she share them quite openly to Pen as soon as he talk about his own difficulties with anger. She found a way to help him with something she had to learn the hard way, on her own, teaching him the benefit while making him skip most of the bad part… and on the other hand, Pen took it to heart. Finally being able to let his rage out while still staying his caring nice self, while still having control is a hard thing to pull off for most people, and just something he needed in general. Not saying he was too nice, but saying he will now be able to act more instead of just sitting there and dealing with it in silence.

That’s it for me, don’t vote for Pillow pls I want her out and Goodbye!!

[bnhaobservation]

Why Rei called Shōto the family Hero?

I’ve realized many take Rei’s declaration as a sign that Rei is a bad mother, viewing it as Rei forcing a label on Shōto.

I’ve kind of already discussed it in my Todoroki FAQ, in reply to an ask but since someone else asked about this I thought to make a post about it.

Premise: the Todoroki family plotline is often drenched in ‘traditional Japanese family values and cultural factors’ which might not exist or not make sense in other cultures with different sets of beliefs and values. I’m not Japanese myself so, even though I researched on them, I’m clearly not an expert and not the best person to discuss them, which is why I encourage everyone who feels confuse or wants to know more to research by themselves for more explanations.

So, those are Rei’s words.

Todoroki Rei ‘Watashi-tachi yori yoppodo tsurai hazu no ko ga urande tōzen no watashi o futatabi okāsan to yondekureta. U.A. kōkō de o tomodachi o tsukutte watashi-tachi o tsunagitomete kureta. Shōto ga Todoroki-ke (read: uchi) no HERO ni natte kureta no yo.’ 轟冷「私たちよりよっぽど辛いハズの子が恨んで当然の私を再びお母さんと呼んでくれた。雄英高校でお友だちをつくって私たちをつなぎとめてくれた。焦凍が轟家（ウチ）のヒーローになってくれたのよ。」 Todoroki Rei “A child who should have suffered much more than us called me ‘mother’ again, even though it was only natural that he would resent me. He made friends at U.A. High School and kept us together/saved us/kept us connected. Shoto became the Hero of the Todoroki family (read: of our family).” [Chap. 302]

To contextualize Rei’s words, they’re in response to Enji’s question if she’s really Rei, after hearing her tell him ‘he’s not the only one who’s responsible but that even if his heart his brother they will help him to stand again because he has no choice but to fight Dabi’.

Todoroki Rei ‘Sekinin wa anata dake no mono janai. Kokoro ga kudakete mo watashitachi ga tata semasu. Anata wa dabi to tatakau shika nai no.’ 轟冷「責任はあなただけのものじゃない。心が砕けても私たちが立たせます。あなたは荼毘と戦うしかないの。」 Todoroki Rei “The responsibility is not yours alone. Even if your heart is broken, we will help you stand. You have no choice but to fight Dabi.” [Chap. 302]

In short, Rei’s words are an explanation on how she could find the strength to stand in front of him, take part of the responsibility for the situation and firmly state what he has to do, how this time he won’t be able to escape facing his son, that they’ll make him stand, when before she used to either agree with him or beg him to change his mind, unable to face him as equal.

Rei is saying it’s thanks to Shōto she could go back to the Todoroki family, face him and tell him all that.

What did Shōto exactly do?

For a little more context, in the past, due to Enji’s abuse Rei’s mental sanity declined and, in a paranoia episode, she mistook Shōto for Enji and threw to him boiling water. She cried, apologized and tried to cool down Shōto’s burn once she realized her mistake, but it was done and couldn’t be undone.

Todoroki Rei ‘Ā Shōto!! Gomen nasai Shōto! Ā nante koto o aā nante koto o!’ 轟冷「ああ焦凍‼ごめんなさい焦凍！ああなんてことをあああなんてことを！」 Todoroki Rei “Oh Shōto!! I’m so sorry Shōto! Oh, what have I done, oh, what have I done!” [Chap. 249]

Enji had her hospitalized afterward, her conditions worsening even more as she learnt of Tōya’s death while she was hospitalized. Also, from when she was hospitalized, Shōto didn’t visit her, according to Shōto because he felt guilty for what happened (and, likely, didn’t want to make her worse) [Chap. 44],

according to Fuyumi because Rei wasn’t up to see him [Chap. 250],

according to me because Horikoshi retconned the whole story way too often and forgot his own plotline to the point chap. 302 had to be OFFICIALLY re-retconned for the volume version because fans protested for the retcon in the magazine version.

Whatever, let’s put complains aside and let’s focus back on the whole thing.

After U.A. sport festival though, Shōto decided to visit Rei in order to save her because he blamed himself for his mother’s conditions. We don’t know what they said to each other, all we have is a summary given by Shōto.

Todoroki Shōto ‘(Haha wa naite ayamari, odoroku hodo assari to waratte yurushite kureta. Ore ga nani ni mo torawarezu ni tsuki susumu koto ga shiawase deari sukui ni naru to itte kureta.)’ 轟焦凍「（母は泣いて謝り、驚く程あっさりと笑って赦してくれた。俺が何にも捉われずにつき進む事が幸せ��あり救いになると言ってくれた。）」 Todoroki Shōto “(My mother cried and apologized, and surprisingly, she laughed and forgave me. She said that it would be her happiness and salvation if I were to continue moving forward without being tied down by anything.)” [Chap. 53]

From Shōto’s words is clear to figure he didn’t expect to be forgiven. From the words Rei says in chap. 302 is clear though, SHE was the one who didn’t expect to be forgiven and didn’t quite understand Shōto never held her accountable for his own scar (Shōto always blamed Enji for it) and never stopped to call her mother.

It would probably be good for the both of them to sit down and talk more about the whole thing, but they’re likely not going to do it as they’re trying to move forward.

Anyway Shōto’s visit and the fact he forgave her are apparently what allows Rei to finally start recovering after 10 YEARS spent in a hospital.

We see it in chap. 187 where, in explanation on why she’s looking good, Rei tells to Natsuo it’s because Shōto is writing her letters.

Yes, she’s completely skipping the fact that Natsuo and Fuyumi had been supporting her as well, but probably the idea is that what kept her in hospital wasn’t just Enji’s abuse but her sense of guilt toward what she did to Shōto and what happened to Tōya.

In this sense, all she truly needed to heal (since Tōya was believed to be dead) was for Shōto to forgive her, hence all the support Fuyumi and Natsuo gave her just couldn’t psychologically compare to Shōto forgiving her (I would say Tōya turning out to be alive also helped get her out of the hospital).

Still, yes, it’s not really fair toward her other two kids who also supported her the best they could, but it psychologically fits and it’s likely the truth for Rei. Without Shōto forgiving her she probably thinks she likely would still be hospitalized as Fuyumi and Natsuo’s support wouldn’t have been enough (and her doctors failed big time as they should have helped Rei to overcome this even without Shōto forgiving her).

So okay, Rei is very, very grateful to Shōto and her words are meant to explain how grateful she is, but why to use such words? Why to call him a Hero, the Todoroki family Hero?

As the answer is, for me, more Doylistic in nature than Watsonian, I’ll tackle it as such.

Horikoshi just had Dabi reveals he’s Todoroki Tōya.

Tōya’s plan to damage Enji is, considering the country he lives in, beautiful.

This is because revealing Enji’s FIRSTBORN is a criminal has socially big implications for Enji and, by default, for the Todoroki family.

To have a criminal in the family is a BIG DEAL in Japan, it’s something I’ve discussed more than once but it can destroy the family, who usually tends to reject and try to disconnect as much as they can from the criminal member, often going as far as far as changing name, being forced to leave work and residence to avoid the social stigma that will basically allow everyone who knows the truth to ostracize at best, abuse at worst them. Their blood is tainted, impure, because they share it with a Villain. This doesn’t regard just the parents who raised Tōya in the wrong way but all his siblings, even Shōto who had no hand in his upbringing. Tōya, or better Dabi as they insist on calling him as such, is the Todoroki family’s villain.

They don’t exactly voice it, but the message is the same and it’s something that doesn’t even need to be voiced because Japanese readers would just know it.

This is the hell Natsuo talks about...

...the hell Tōya dragged his family in.

Horikoshi didn’t want to show it, he only vaguely hinted at it, and wanted the story to end up in a hopeful, positive setting, but things wouldn’t be normally so pretty.

Shōto would be kicked out of school and forbidden from becoming a Hero, Natsuo’s girlfriend would dump him, Fuyumi not only would lose her job but wouldn’t find another and everyone would turn their backs to them. Their house would be vandalized and they would be ostracized at best. Also, forget, the nice and supportive doctor who encourages Enji, he would have nothing of the sort, not because he abused his family, but because one of his family members became a Villain, and this is assumed to taint their whole blood.

To counter this, Horikoshi presents Shōto as sitting on the other side of the spectrum.

If Tōya is the Todoroki family’s Villain, Shōto has to be the Todoroki family’s Hero.

We see it also in how Horikoshi changes things in the presentation of Todorokis’ past.

Chap. 39 showed Shōto watching as his mother got hit, Chap. 302 shows him trying to defend her (in a scene that’s sadly not particularly good to the point the anime didn’t know how to animate it well) while Fuyumi and Natsuo instead curl on the ground, scared and Tōya is nowhere to be seen (possibly because in the magazine version Horikoshi planned  for him to go on Sekoto Peak while Enji was beating Rei, and burn himself on the mountain, which would explain why, during Dabi’s dance, Tōya didn’t out his father as a wife beater as he never managed to witness such thing, and then Horikoshi had to retcon such plan when it turned out he had already stated in his story that Rei was hospitalized when Tōya burned and so Tōya’s whereabouts became simply unknown).

Why now Horikoshi decided to show Shōto stand up for his mother when he didn’t do it first?

Remember the whole instinct that marks Heroes because it pushes their body to act without them realizing? Here Horikoshi revealed Shōto had it too, that his body moved to protect his mother when he was a child (and, by the way, in chap. 301 he had Tōya snap and attack Shōto because Tōya has to be opposite to Shōto). This is Shōto’s heroic childhood story that shows he had Hero spirit from the start.

Having Rei verbally saying that Shōto is the family’s Hero is Horikoshi’s way to remember to his readers how much of a Hero Shōto is, especially after Shōto was basically defeated as Tōya had proved himself to be stronger in their previous match.

Horikoshi’s need to put Shōto on the spotlight as Hero is also why he doesn’t think Rei should acknowledge also Fuyumi and Natsuo’s efforts to help her.

Shōto is the one Todoroki who truly matter, Fuyumi and Natsuo are characters created to facilitate Enji’s atonement arc (yeah, Natsuo too, long story that has no place here), where Rei was created to give Shōto a sad backstory. That’s why we’ve Rei being used to carry on further Shōto’s endgame as a Hero without worrying about her other kids.

It’s a ‘flaw’ in Horikoshi’s writing which we’ll also see later on, when Enji thinks he has to worry about the future of the kids and the images Horikoshi shows us are of the future of… Shōto and class A. Because they’re the characters that matter.

Fuyumi and Natsuo?

We won’t even get to know what will be of them in chap 430 (which however feels compelled to show us Enji is still getting support from Hawks and his sidekicks) or 431, they got a rushed ending in chap. 426 and that’s it.

To conclude, there’s also another important thing about why Horikoshi had Rei define Shōto in such a specific way.

In Japan enduring in silence is a form of heroism.

‘Gaman’ (我慢) is a Japanese term of Zen Buddhist origin which means “enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity”. The term is generally translated as “perseverance”, “patience”, or “tolerance”. A related term, ‘gaman-tsuyoi’ (我慢強い), a compound with ‘tsuyoi’ (強い “strong”), means “suffering the unbearable” or having a high capacity for a kind of stoic endurance.

Gaman is variously described as a “virtue”, an “ethos”, a “trait”, etc. It means to do one’s best in distressed times and to maintain self-control and discipline.

Gaman tends to be misperceived by the non-Japanese as introverted behavior or as a lack of assertiveness or initiative, but for Japanese people is a demonstration of strength in the face of difficulty or suffering. Gaman is, in Japanese society, closely related to complying with conformity and silent heroism, which seems to be hidden pride for compensation for sacrifice and being satisfied to pay reciprocal service in advance or to being seen themselves as victims by folks. Showing ‘gaman’ is seen as a sign of maturity and strength. Keeping private affairs, problems and complaints silent demonstrates strength and politeness as others have seemingly larger problems as well. If a person with ‘gaman’ received help from someone else, they would be compliant, not ask for any additional help, and voice no concerns.

If a person fails to have/show ‘gaman’, the result could be a sudden manifestation of aggression.

This form of heroism is a form of heroism that Horikoshi was trying to propose RATHER HARD in his last 10 volumes of the story (it’s visible prior to them too but not so much as it is in those last volumes).

Gone is the ‘a true hero saves not only their lives, but also their hearts...’ [Chap. 92] or ‘ultimates heroes, ones who save by winning and win by saving.’ [Chap 120].

Now we have ‘if you define “Hero” as someone the people look up and count on then the Heroes really did vanish that day even if some where still prepared to stand up and fight. But if you define a “Hero” as someone willing to suffer in silence then… who’s there for them when they’re in pain?’

A Hero is someone who suffers in silence (and if what @codenamesazanka suggested is meant to be true, ‘a villain is someone who doesn’t suffer in silence’).

We’ll see this idea of ‘suffering in silence=hero’ in many scenes but, especially in the hospital arc in which Shōji, who covers his scarred face with a mask so no one will feel uneasy around him, insists the discriminated Heteromorph just shouldn’t rage against society. Rage is only okay if you rage on the behalf of someone else, not yourself.

Back to Shōto, he fits with the image of the Hero who suffered in silence as presented in chap. 302 because, according to it, he suffered more than anyone else yet harbored no negative feelings, forgave Rei and helped her… and, in that same chapter, he also offered his hand to Enji, whose heart is broken or so he said.

The story placed big emphasis on how holding someone’s hand would mean offering support and salvation so basically this is a nod on how Shōto is also saving his father after he saved Rei.

So yes, Horikoshi basically used Chap 300/301/302 to establish how, in answer to Tōya being the Todoroki family’s Villain, Shōto is the Todoroki family’s Hero. It’s preparation for the fight between the two as well as Horikoshi’s way to carry on his messages.

As Rei is a vessel, a mean for Horikoshi to pass on his ideas, we can speculate that, on the Watsonian side, Rei is labeling Shōto as the family Hero, in part for the same reasons as Horikoshi, because, as she herself said, Shōto suffered and yet forgave and helped the family to come back together.

Where many western fans just believe Rei should divorce from Enji, it’s worth to remember in Japan there’s a strong stigma against divorce, which is not easy to obtain, and the tendency to blame women for it even if the fault is of the man, the repercussions falling on the whole family kids included (women in Japan are currently fighting against this and things are slowly improving).

As said before the Todorokis represent a traditional Japanese family, hence Shōto also saves the family by allowing Rei to be capable to stand with Enji again. By recomposing the family.

In the end Rei is not trying to put a label on Shōto, to force a role on him, she’s just calling things as she sees them, Shōto did something heroic that saved the Todoroki family and, in the story, he will continue to do heroic things and save the family as it will befall on him to deal with Dabi, “the Todoroki family’s sin” and he’ll be the one who’ll save the day at the end.

She also can’t think she’s doing something wrong because SHŌTO ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A HERO, so acknowledging him as such can be also viewed as her acknowledging his efforts and how they work, how they’re fit of a Hero.

There’s more I could say, part of it is cultural, part of it is tied to the Shōnen manga tendency to push adult roles on teens without really questioning it too much, actually often using it to underline how great those teens actually are, but I think this alone can give you an idea of how Horikoshi didn’t mean at all for Rei to look a bad mother when he had her say so, he just aimed at raising Shōto up.

At least, this is my opinion on the whole topic. As usual people can think differently from me as I’m not Horikoshi and I don’t own the truth.

[leeny-leens]

using this blog as my personal notes app for my writing is so fun anyways heres more to the socmed AU so I don't forget Abt it later

it's a Barty X Reader story BCS he's my recent obsession and very obv it's a modern AU, no magic etc etc the whole works y'all

(yes this is a reader AU sue me I love writing self insert)

Reader - content creator ™️, makes diff kind of content but it's mainly art and video/photography centric, she studied film and cinema but then realized that uni and higher education ™️ in general wasn't her thing, tried a million diff majors until she finally dropped out and started free lancing and realized she quite likes this way of living

Barty - aka BCJR, singer who dropped out of law school like 2 years in and decided to pursue music instead BCS he figured it'll piss his dad off before he realized he actually loves making music

Remus - wrote a book called "Let the Moon speak Tonight" and has literally never done anything else writing wise since, doesn't plan on it either but the book got really popular and thus he's become known as this one guy ™️, he studied English lit and works in a bookshop

Peter - he studies sth with geography or zoology maybe?? or sth with plants?? anyways he's a plant dad ™️ and loves animals so he has a YT channel as well as social accs dedicated to his hobbies, it's surprisingly popular with a bunch of people and they always tend to say he has a soothing sense of humour and a nice voice (also he's constantly doing random ass side quests and people in his comment section will always be like wait isn't this the guy who did/attended/participated/hosted xyz and his friends are like Pete wtaf when did you do that???)

Mary - she runs a jewelry account and a lot of times you'll see her collaborating with a bunch of brands and fashion content creators to bring out THE best looks ever, surprisingly to literally everyone though fashion isn't her main interest or sth she studied it's just a hobby, everyone is always surprised when they find out she is a nursing student and somehow has time to still keep her page running though she often shrugs it off with the explanation that it's not a chore for her but a way to unwind

Lily - food blogger, she gets invited to a shit ton of events and has a knack for connecting with people, she wanted to be a teacher before she got totally burnt out in uni and decided to just try things out to see where life takes her

Marlene - I'm undecided on this but I think she studied business because of her family before realizing it wasn't really sth for her so she ended up switching to sth with dance! she now runs a successful dancing centric acc and you often see her and James in each other's videos

James - he's an athlete, I wanna say soccer? or maybe a swimmer??? but anyways he had a scholarship in college and is currently training to go for nationals and then hopefully the Olympics, he runs a v Basic but fun sports acc, some people would straight up say he's a sports influencer but he just likes sharing his journey and helping others understand their own bodies

Sirius - an actor who started out as a child actor, pushed into the industry by his family; it took a toll on his mental and physical health to an extreme extent until he ran away at 15 and retired from filming; made a comeback of his own when he was 19 and the people love him

Regulus - model, pushed into the industry by his family ever since he was young; it took a toll on his health until he managed to cut ties with them when he was in his early 20s (he's still in his early to mid 20s but shh)

Evan - originally he studied forensic science, then he switched to bio chem but got bored really quick and just started doing fuck not, he models with Reg occasionally or sings with Barty and rn he's just vibing trying to figure out what the fuck life is even about

Pandora - she studied psychology and is a really big mental health advocate, originally she wanted to be a therapist but now she's on track to become a social worker, she has 2 accounts that she runs one of them being mental health related and has a lot of advocacy and charity things while the other is more personal and focuses on her beliefs and her more or less witchy plant girl life style, her and Peter often make videos together

Dorcas - she studied polisci no I don't take any criticism on this <3 your girl wants to make changes because she saw how the world treated her single mother and she's having none of that, she's always posting and talking about social justice issues, feminism, advocacy and she's doing all of that in style while defying the expectations of what a 'serious' woman should look and act like

I'm thinking of combining socmed and written chapters for this AU, simply because I like the mix and think it'll be the most efficient to bring along the story!

There's gonna be a few plot points I want to cover

I have so many more thoughts and I'm so excited to share them with you guys <33

[sunlit-mess]

Please ignore if it's not your kind of conversation, but I've been wondering what's going on with me and I was wondering if you might be willing to share how you knew you had BPD or what that process was like for you. Thanks

Hello, I hope you're doing ok!! And I hope what I share can help, it's best to reach out. ::)

My discovery in BPD started at 17 when dad finally realized something is wrong with his oldest daughter. His exact words were that I was deteriorating and he hated seeing it. (Him and I have a complicated relationship, but we love our families just the same)

Although the symptoms started earlier than that, cue in childhood traumas, a shitty high-school, struggle with connection to other people and growing with a fucked up family.

To break it down:

My earliest symptoms were Abandonment issues and Paranoia (as a child), that I seemed like I had separation anxiety that engaged in people-pleasing. I hardly remember the rest of my childhood as if those memories are locked far in my head.

The next was until first year high-school where I started to develop obsessions, to an extent I seemed like a stalker. Naive, my relationships with other people always ended up toxic that even if I was so aware of it, I couldn't care less as long as they never leave me and such. Fortunately, I gave up and cut off. I remained an outcast, indifferent and it stayed that way.

Trouble in high-school was something, but what's worse was the toxicity in my own house, my family. What else could I do? Where else could I run to?

My moods started to have intense erratic patterns or just completely random and confuses most. As the years pass by, more obsessions and unhealthy habits developed as a way to "cope" or just felt what was right, what I deserve. This affects me as a whole because I never grew out of it. I never grew out of how we are treated in this house even until now that I am in college. I struggle in life AS A WHOLE from mentally to physically and so on.

Everyday I feel like I'm at war with my own head, my own self, feelings of hate and love, to other people and more in-between. And I'm actually always on edge as if it could be my last day. There are the endless list of what I have to hide and so much more confusing feelings, behaviors, and thoughts. Just to consider being, functioning "normal".

I actually struggle to voice these experiences, because I've been called insane and worse. Life keeps giving me lemons and I'm so, extremely, tired, but I can't give up as much as I want to. I have younger siblings I do not want to share this burden with.

I handle all of this myself ever since, even financially.

Lately, from my last consultation, was found out the disorder was also rooted from Autistic traits early life to adulthood in a way I couldn't show because of how we are treated at home. So.. To be fair it did make sense.

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

Hey I just wanted to ask you, what do you think of the fact that in ToA the fact that Apollo bullied Harpocrates was basically made up and has no basis in myths? I'm kinda conflicted, because I can get behind holding the deities accountable for the stuff they have done, but that one think was made up.

Hellooo <3

I have seen this as a common complaint about ToA. And yes, I see the view - it has no basis in the actual myths, and therefore shouldn't reflect on what actual mythological Apollo has done.

Buckle up. I've got some thoughts to share here.

There are a couple things to consider here:

The Camp Half-Blood Chronicles are not meant to be 100% accurate to the myths. Nor did Rick really intend to do so when he first created the series - after all, PJO started out as Haley's new bedtime story, and to give him a character he could relate to. That was the main goal of Rick's.

Does Rick do his best to stay true to the myths? I do think so. Sure, he trips up at times (details of the myths [ie, Midas was not the judge of the Apollo V Pan contest], characterizations of the gods [ie, Aphrodite & Ares), ect.) but all in all he does do his best to give us a well-rounded story that has Greek Mythology as its influence.

Because also remember - PJO started out as a story about the demigods, not the gods. If the gods had originally been Rick's focus instead, I think we would have a bit of a different tale.

So a bit of creative liberty can be taken here, especially since Rick basically decided 'all myths are true!' with his Kane Chronicles and Magnus Chase books - it makes sense, from a storytelling perspective, that (ToA) Apollo would have crossed paths with Harpocrates at some point.

With all honesty, the CHB Chronicles shouldn't even be taken as fact about the myths - about the gods. Because no mythological series is ever 100% accurate, and to assume they are is disrespectful to the culture these myths come from.

And continuing with the storytelling perspective...honestly I think it was a pretty interesting choice on Rick's end. It's not myth-accurate, but I think it does add more to the story Rick is telling us.

He's not using these gods to make them look bad, after all. He's using them to tell a story. To give us a message.

And ToA's mainly centers around abuse.

Zeus isn't an abuser in mythology, but Rick made him one in his books to show us how abuse works. How it can be difficult to accept that you have been abused.

How hard it can be to acknowledge the fact that you have caused pain yourself.

Because while it seems like Harpocrates would cause Apollo's whole character to take a bit of a dive (after all, nobody likes a bully, right? Who would!), I...disagree.

I think Harpocrates deepens Apollo's character.

Stick with me.

I have been bullied in school. Fourth grade and seventh grade in particular were Dreadful for me and in seventh grade I would come home in tears about 95% of the time. I would even skip track practice because I was so emotionally unbalanced from the day I just couldn't take another minute.

There was something that my parents, grandparents, the parish deacon, ect all told me. There is probably a reason why bullies picked on me;

They were jealous.

There was something wrong with them; or, connecting to this point;

They were hurting.

They were hurting.

Anybody else's brains go "Bingo!"?

Because think about it. By the time Harpocrates comes around, Apollo's already spent a lot of time under Zeus's thumb - under his abuse.

And personally, I don't think Zeus likes the other pantheons. And I bet he really doesn't like it when pantheons...mix.

Which is something Harpocrates is. A mix between his original Egyptian self, and what Ptolemy made him to be.

So imagine this: You are Apollo. You have been dealing with your father's abuse for centuries. You are hurting - physically, emotionally, and mentally. You come across this god who's a mix between Egypt and Greece. He is the opposite of you - silence where you are sound.

Wouldn't he be the perfect target to lash out at, without repercussions? After all...I doubt Zeus would care if Apollo was kicking around a mixed deity. Perhaps...he would even encourage it...

But I hear you - "But Apollo barely remembers Harpocrates!" And yes, he does barely remember him and it takes him a bit to acknowledge the fact that he did bully him.

So here's the kicker; I think Apollo lashed out at Harpocrates only a few times. He tried to transfer the pain he felt onto another, on the hope it would make him feel better.

But it didn't. Nothing made him feel better about himself.

And what's something we know about Apollo?

It's how much guilt he keeps bottled up. And I bet that after a few times, Apollo just...stopped going after Harpocrates. I think Apollo started feeling guilty about it, but quickly stamped it down and tried to forget about such feelings by forgetting about Harpocrates.

What you don't know can't hurt you, after all, right?

[karmathehalflander]

Why both Eddie and Venom are autistic and how the movies are actually a metaphor for neurodivergence

Includes some of my personal headcanons and concepts that I’ve been thinking about and need to share.

BE WARNED!!! This post is a bit long (and also a cringy, rambling, nonsensical mess) full thing under cut.

Some quick notes before we begin: when I have one of their names at the beginning of a section it means anything in that section only applies to one of them. (Idk, I couldn’t figure out how to organize this, you’ll see what I mean)

I don’t know much comic lore, all of this is based off of the movies. Though the movies are a different universe so I don’t think it will matter too much.

Also I use He/They/It pronouns for Venom.

In the end, Im just one guy with a hyper fixation please take everything I say with a grain of salt and feel free to add on or correct me about stuff. Especially if I say anything stereotypical or offensive about nurodivergance/autism a lot of this is based on some personal experience and I absolutely make mistakes and generalizations.

Alright enough of my yapping let’s get to it.

Overall big picture stuff

Applies to Both of them

the whole concept of them being “losers” together is kind of autistic coded. Autistic people are often viewed as incompetent or childish or useless. And I like to think they are connecting over that shared experience.

Noise sensitivity!!! Both of them have noise sensitivity! I probably don’t need to elaborate that much but that one scene in their apartment was some of the best overstimulation representation I’ve ever seen overstimulation guitar scene

Venom

Venom comes across as unfeeling because they don’t emote in a “normal” way.

They’re very blunt and literal.

Venom sometimes has a slightly higher-pitched voice when excited or angry. Which I’m going to attribute to him masking. He wants to appear tougher and scarier. This is important to its species and Venom, who is already perceived as weak by their peers, intentionally deepens his voice a bit to blend in. (This is definitely a headcanon but I love this concept so I don’t care that the real reason is that the voice modifier they use does silly things)

This is also why I think it’s so concerned about Eddie and him “looking bad” Looking weak was dangerous and they trained themself to hide “weakness”

It’s always “How does Venom affect people” and never “What does Venom need and how do other people’s actions affect them”

Venom prefers to express its thoughts and feelings through mental connection with its host and then have that person relay the information to whomever they are “speaking” to. Nonverbal communication!

Venom not understanding humans (social interaction, conventions, etc.) is kind of autistic coded.

Eddie

Edie kind of disregards a lot of social conventions. Still hangs out with his ex-fiancé AND her boyfriend. He also doesn’t seem to mind talking to Venom out loud.

Eddies is just kind of anxious in general.

Eddie struggles to find full time employment.

On that vein, he also struggles to maintain relationships.

Eddie's sense of justice. Eddie has a strong sense of justice and morals that often don’t align with generally accepted values and he follows this view of justice and morality to an absurd degree and it often gets him in trouble. Aka, the entire plot of the first movie is because Eddie has autism.

He wears the same clothes all the time.

Specific moments that I think about

Venom

Venom chewing on the tire swing (they both have oral stims btw)

Sand between his toes. Idk I just thought it was cute and chose to believe they like the sensation.

Say it with me. Tater tots are a safe food!!!

Venom rocks back and forth a lot.

This is a stretch but when Venom is like “look at all these weirdos, my kind of people” it’s a metaphor for him being queer but I’d argue it also kind of fits with neurodivergence. Neurodivergent people often connect with “weirdos” (other neurodivergent people)

Likes organization “Pile of bodies, pile of heads”

Eddie

I’ve been told Eddie chews on his necklace at the beginning of the movie but I can’t find the clip and can’t do a rewatch right now so take that with a grain of salt… (I chose to believe this happened though. Also his bracelets are stim heaven)

When he says “Oh, I have a parasite” to Mrs. Chen he had no clue what to say here. He just said the first thing that came to mind and panicked instead of explaining.

Also the way he says things funny. Ex: “✨It’s a treeeee✨” supa, supa, fhasstt” “Heee…. has. one. up. hi’s. Ass toooooo” “ET. Phone home. Aliens? 😃” I chose to believe they are vocal stims (I also attempted to find a compilation but I couldn’t find any. Maybe I’ll make one sometime)

Eddie also makes sound effects a lot.

Eddie writes notes on pen and paper instead of digitally.

He apologizes an excessive amount. Like he says “I’m sorry” to people actively trying to kill him. Which is so real.

“I just bit that guys head off” “I, uhhh, yea I’ve been there it’s not fun” 😕

Eddie also rocks back and forth. Which can be seen in this scene

Quick segment into why I think Venom was rejected by other Klyntar (it’s because he has autism)

Venom doesn’t adapt as quickly or as efficiently as other Klyntar. It doesn’t handle change well.

All of the normal Klyntar weaknesses are turned up to 1000 with them. Instead of just certain frequencies, the range that hurts him is larger and is also affected by loud noises. As shown by: “Venom” car alarm scene

instead of just fire, heat also bothers it. Also doesn’t adapt to light well. (Just a headcanon)

Can’t create weapons out of their body like other Klyntar. struggles with “simple” skills.

Much more emotional than other Klyntar and develop attachments (also purely a headcanon)

Just overall didn’t fit well into their society.

Just headcanons

Venom and Eddie are so compatible because their brains work the same way.

“I wish I could just mentally project my thoughts and feelings directly into your brain. Oh wait, we can do that!”

Venom also has temperature sensitivities. He gets hot.

Venom likes to stim to low key music, mainly jazz and lo-fi. Does the one song on repeat for three hours to wring all the happy chemicals out of it like a dish rag thing.

Venom also absolutely loves cheesy pop music (unrelated to anything here but I’m right and I needed to include it)

Venom functions as a weighted blanket for Eddie when he’s anxious. Maybe even hides under his shirt and stuff and becomes an extra weight.

Eddie stims with his jewelry.

Venom likes to sit in the freezer. Sometimes they visit Mrs. Chen's walk in just to chill (lol)

Purely my opinion but I think Venom also has some light sensitivity for a bit because it’s not used to being in such a bright environment. He gets used to it eventually but every once in awhile he finds the city lights overstimulating.

They are both very tactile. Touching things. Love a good texture.

Venom is super particular about food for someone who eats out the garbage but certain textures and flavors drive them crazy.

Venom hates vegetables. (Except for celery because it likes the crunchy and stringyness of it)

How all of this makes for a great metaphor!

Feeling like an alien in the world is probably the most relatable thing for a lot of nurodivergent people. Like there’s a manual for being human you don’t have. And just the concept of a literal alien showing up and struggling to navigate in a world not made for it is so relatable!

The way they both immediately connect to each other because they have the same weird brain stuff and weren’t accepted by their respective societies is so adorable and wholesome.

“We’re not so different, you and I” This line lives rent-free in my mind at all times. It’s my favorite quote. I think it perfectly encapsulates their relationship and why it’s special. They have autism and are bonding because the other is the first person who truly understands them! (Cries, screams, throws up)

In conclusion

They are in love and have autism. And they cling to each other because they are the first people to truly understand each other. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

Also I listened to UFO by Smith and Thell on loop while writing this. It’s very autistic symbrock coded so give it a listen if you’re a fan of inde-pop.

[janesgms]

Astro Notes - 08

✨️ General Edition ✨️

I hope this makes sense but having venus overlays in the houses related to your venus sign is one of the best placements to have in a romantic relationship, even if is not a house known for being romantic. For ex: there's a boy I'm getting to know who's a gemini venus, and i am an aquarius venus, his venus falls in my 11th house and my venus falls in his 3rd. These 2 houses are known for friendships but in this case they work differently and we have a lot of chemistry and lovey feelings for each other, far from being a friendly connection!

In my experiences, having moon conjunct moon is a total hell to me. There's just a lot of "emotional" tension who gets unbearable most of the times and you can be so similar that you don't understand each other and may hate each other. I think this placement at its worst is a war of egos 24/7. Also being deeply hurt by anything the other do, you may feel much more emotional than the usual. But idk bc every placement works differently for everyone. And this can be similar to moon opposite moon, even though I still prefer moon opp moon over moon conjunct moon.

HOWEVER, having moon in the same sign but not in a conjunction is such a paradise to me, it's truly a blessing to have in any type of relationship because u understand each other in a very nurturing way, so sweet, you feel at ease with this person.

And talking about moon, the sweetest thing to have, even if cliche, is definitely moon trine moon or moon in the 4th house overlay, it's way better than conjunctions or oppositons, because these two are very intense and may never end well, even if you felt like you've found a soulmate at first, it's truly karmic, but with the moon trine moon/moon 4H overlay is so good, specially if they are in the same synastry >>>

Moon 7H overlay it's a weird feeling for me as the moon because i feel so appreciated by the house person. The house person usually sees the moon person like an inspiration, and they find the moon so but SO perfect at everything, you have no idea, sometimes i even get shy. If you're looking for someone who worships you or just really compliments you naturally then find someone who has their 7th house in your moon sign (thank me later). Also i feel like the 7th house person do not see any imperfection in the moon person and can help them to overcome their insecurities. When I'm the house person, I even get jealous at the moon person because they're treated literally like royalty. Just remembering that this also depends on other aspects and the whole synastry guys bc the 7th house can be a tricky one, so don't come at me later, but for now I'm loving it

Something interesting is that i keep attracting guys with cancer/pisces venus or mars and i literally have pisces venus and cancer mars in my mars persona chart 🤯 pls leave me alone i don't want uuuuuuu,,, jk but i think this is cause I need to deal better with this energy internally so they're necessary for my jouney 🔪🔪

Now talking about the apocaliptic 8H and 12H synastry. There was a guy I've had something with, I'm gonna call him T, so T has his venus/asc/SATURN!!!! in my 12th house and mars/uranus in my 8th house, and i have my moon/mc/juno in his 12th house and venus/chiron/neptune in his 8th house, and let me tell you this was one of the most painful things i've went through, this person left unhealable scars in me, and the worst is that it seemed like a fairytale to me most of the times. So, summing it, this synastry is hella karmic and can be dangerous to your mental health if you're not careful, but everyone needs to go through it to learn something in this life so we have to move on. But i'm not saying it is terrible all the time because it depends on both people's maturity, I just had the bad luck of sharing it with a heartless person, and I was the one hurt in the end 🖤 but anyways life goes on i still cry to this date thinking about T

Talking about karmic relationships, i believe South Node in 4H in synastry is a huge indicator of past life conections, or just a comfortable feeling generally if not this kind of connection, so that can explain why you can attract certain ascendants more than others. For ex: I always attract cancer ascendants and my south node falls in their 4th house

Another ascendant I attract a lot is sagittarius but this ain't good always because they can be so stressful when underveloped. And this can be to the fact that my sun/mercury falls in their 1st house and my moon falls in their 7th house so they feel pulled to me in a sense? But as you all must know these overlays can be super superficial at times and I don't enjoy it always as the planet person... But overall I still love my sagittarius risings most of the time <3

There's something so sweet about Taurus Mercuries when they're talking that i find it underrated, yes everyone talks about how they have sensual voices but sometimes they're just cute. There's an undeniable charm in the way they talk like i just want to hear them talk all the time (this applies to both vedic and western)

Now to be honest one of the best placements for physical enchantment in synastry is ASC in the 5H overlay, as the asc person i just feel so much attracted to the asc's appearance and aura it's crazy, but i wanna experience it as the asc person too (hey aries risings how u doin)

This one's also a cliche but all of the twins i know have at least one placement of their big 6 in gemini! also as a gemini moon i've always attracted a lot of twins in my life and i've always wanted to have twins, still a dream though. But it runs in my mom's genetics since in her family there are thousands of twins so i still have chances guys!!

Not to brag or anything because i say it basing on other sag mercuries I know *yes we apparently attract each other like moths to flames lol*, but sagittarius mercuries are so fun to talk to when they want to, and specially online, they text like the most excited person ever with a lot of emojis and all of that, also their laugh are always gonna be loud or straight funny, be it personally or virtually. But i realize we only do that to who we really like and obviously the house placements also matters!! But yes independtly of anything ALL (I really mean all of them) sagittarius mercuries always want to be right and have the last word even if they know they're obviously wrong

Aries venus in the composite chart is so hot. Like i know it's in detriment but is just really fun and fiery to experience, specially if the house is favourable. Also, a lot of sparks coming out from each other when they're together and a palpable chemistry, everyone ships you two so get together already damn

Aquarius mercuries and their diction that makes them look like they're talking a language from another planet sometimes. Also, they seem like they're always talking weird things all the time, in a good way of course, I love them my babies! Also, they always seem to know random facts about literally everything and they have such a diverse taste for music, movies, ANYTHING. But they can be very misunderstanded sometimes because they're not gonna say what people expect them to say. But anyways aquariuses and sagittariuses always seem to get each other because they have similar tastes.

7H placements are people pleasers to the point where is destructive to themselves, but they can't help it, it's in their nature to do this. They all need a hug right now I love you, please take care of youself more and learn how to impose your boundaries, it's for your own health (a self-criticism)

stay with this dancing lady right here guys bye (me in the next party)

[morallyambiguousfrog]

tmagp thoughts ep 1-10

finished protocol ten and i have thoughts to scream into the void (in no particular order)

GERRY MY BABY BOY HE'S BACK! i almost started crying when i heard his voice, i wonder how he met gertrude? she called him her grandson but is that biological by some weird timeline things in this universe? or did they just meet and become close

also celia. Interesting character to bring back. The most recurring of all of our returning friends. Mentioned knowing georgie so im hoping to hear from her potentially. also odd that she has her fake name that she gave her self when she couldnt remember the real one post stranger.

Specifically celia's "memories" are interesting to me as well. a few of her lines (some of which i might be over thinking) like her mentioning "wrestling with tape recorders and manilla folders" when comparing the system, then more obvious hints like asking about finding cases "about being buried alive" and "meat" (Smirkes 14 reference!!! wooo!!) Plus her recognizing chester's voice and asking about other dimensions. most compelling thing to me is that this series isn't the aftermath of tma, it's an entirely seperate universe, so that raises the question of why celia seems to be so connected.

I realize that my other thoughts have been very focused on connecting the two shows but here's a tmagp specific thought: COLIN i love him i dont need to explain myself im sure that something absolutely horrible is going to happen to him and he won't survive til the end of the series but stillll he's amazing. what does he know about the computers? is this regular paranoia or does he have other knowledge?

my knowledge before starting this series (due to me trying my best to avoid spoilers) was pretty much just: there's a guy called needles and he's been labelled by the fandom as twink, mr bonzo, melanie comes back at some point also with past events knowledge, and gerry makes a brief return.

i adore needles, beautiful boy, he just wanted cuddles :(

mr bonzo being this universe's mr blobby is so funny to me. Like "hey you remember that 90s tv show with mr blobby? well we've pretty much copied the entire story into our universe with only the tiniest changes exept also mr bonzo kills people :)"

Alice my precious girl :(((( she's using her humor as a defense mechanism :((((((((

I love Gwen's girlboss mentality. Like, you go girl! climb that corporate ladder! hire that hitman! good job! however her blackmail skills might need some work, as well as lena blatantly using her.

once again, only just finished ep 10 so this might change but has there been any actual hints of romance between gwen and alice or did we, as a fandom, just see two people being mean to eachother and the distant jmart portions of our brains went "romance???"

i love sam, dont get me wrong, but i feel his common sense might be a bit lacking. for some one who is asking a lot of questions, there seem to be some big questions he's missing. specifically about the massive ammounts of weird paperwork asking strangely personal questions that he's just filling out for fun? then sending in? without knowing for sure where they're going? just because he's pretty sure no one reads them anyways? tbf to him that does get into the whole "it's unfair to characters to assume their genre aware" thing.

other than that i love sam. interexted to see his ties to the institute

i feel that we probably havent seen that last of teddy. wether we see him back as a character or a corpse? that's what im worried about

currently the oair staff are ranked in my mind as 1. Colin 2. Celia 3. Alice 4. Sam 5. Gwen 6. Lena

sam humming while working never ceases to be adorable

Sam getting an email from someone named Jon (or spelled john in the transcripts but to be fair that's also how the archivists name was supposed to be spelled so point stands) with a random name and address?????????? xtfrxhdcgjvh expecially from an internal email which was also weird? plus colin acting... a bit suspicious about it

hilltop road mention!

"canaries should stay above ground" preumably a reference to sending canaries into cole mines to test for poisonous gasses, i think it's interesting how both tma and tmagp both start with animal imagery, the angler fish luring you in compared to the canary warning you away. also relating to the first episode: when listening i was wondering what others pictured. personally i pictured a pair of eyes, scooped from canary's skull but i was wondering if others pictured something differnt considering that the description was pretty vague

[lover-of-mine]

Hiiii Anna 💕💕💕

I don’t know if anyone thought of this based on the synopsis for 08x05 but what if bucks decorations coming to life is more in the mental sense than the physical sense? What if instead of his Halloween decorations coming to life in that it’s some sort of infestation or the loft burning down, it’s Bucks fears coming to life ( metaphorically) Buck has been shown to dissociate especially in the 08x01 so what if it has to do with that?

If it did, I could imagine him confronting his guilt And confusion about saving Gerrard.

I also thought about maybe it being something with Tommy? In that everything with Tommy isn’t what it initially seemed to be for Buck…

And of course, Bucks feelings for Eddie will somehow be involved in either scenario

Hope you’re having a great day/night 💕💕💕

-❤️🪐

Hi, darling 💜💜

Well, I think it will be a lot more about guilt than anything physical. I mean, I do think they will have some fun with props, but I think it will be an internal struggle for Buck a lot more than something like bats infesting the loft or whatever. Partially because when Oliver talks about having fun like that on set, it usually means an emotional breakthrough for Buck, he seems to enjoy the emotionally heavy plotlines, but also because I think people are taking things way more literally than the show actually does. I can see Buck struggling with the concept of getting rewarded for hurting Gerrard, something he's not sure he did on purpose, maybe a callback to the way 704 does the same thing with the way Buck gets a boyfriend out of hurting Eddie (something I've always found uncomfortable because the show draws a connection to Doug while Buck is talking to Maddie then doesn't address the fact that Buck doesn't know why he was acting like that and if he wanted to hurt Eddie or not, he doesn't apologize and then he gets something out of the situation). It could be Buck struggling with some stuff, like, the show hasn't done a lot about Buck's passive suicidal tendencies lately, and while I don't think it's gonna be that deep, a plot where Buck deals with the way that he graduated from "hurting myself will get me attention" to "hurting anything will get me attention" could be interesting. The pieces for Buck to have some sort of realization like that are there and it could be something. Obviously, it's gonna be adjacently about Gerrard, the question is how Buck's feelings will affect him. Because Buck feels things very intensely, and his guilt makes him act in extremes, so it will be something interesting to see no matter what.

Ideal scenario leads to Buck realizing the thing he has with Tommy is surface level (since Tommy went along with Gerrard's bigotry, it could be a point of tension because while Buck may be misguided, he would never intentionally hurt someone he loves, and he loves the 118) and to him starting to question the place Eddie has in his life (since the show keeps contrasting Buck's relationship with Eddie with Buck's relationship with Tommy, I can see the comparison since we have seen Eddie stand up to Gerrard as best as he can), especially since 806 is gonna be a big episode for Eddie too. It would be fun to see them start to align so that they can be put on the path of getting together at some point in 8b. Considering previous Halloween episodes, specifically haunted and monsters, and the way they lead to big movements in Buck's life, letting go of Abby and making up with Eddie and Bobby, I think it's safe to assume some self-reflection. There's also the way the last Halloween episode had Buck being "haunted" while doing something he shouldn't be doing, since cursed kinda counts as a Halloween episode and the whole disaster the donor arc is.

I keep thinking 805/806 will mirror rage/monsters in some aspects, and Buck having something going on with the captain while Eddie deals with internal conflicts after "losing" family and the control he doesn't have when it comes to protecting Chris, I am expecting some personal growth that brings them closer together. Like, something that will make them both aware that they are in it together, and since Oliver mentioned a scene where buddie is just sitting in silence, I'm kinda expecting a moment that will mirror both the post-tsunami talk and the end of fear-o-phobia, but this time neither will have to barrel their way in, they'll just know they can sit in silence together. That would also be a shoutout to Buck's definition of love from 518 and Bobby talking to Eddie at the hardware store about Athena, the whole being at their worst and still trying again and just sitting together after a bad day. I am just unsure of how exactly they're gonna get there.

[eepyuii]

frostbite — pt. 6

pairing ; childe x gender neutral!reader

content ; childhood friends to “rivals” to lovers, slowburn-ish

cw ; fighting and mentions of injuries, but nothing specific tho

notes ; happy holidays, fellow childe enjoyers!! hope you’re all having a wonderful time. this chapter feels close up-y if that makes sense but i promise there’s MUCH more to come >:3

previous | next | masterlist

you see childe as faceted.

he’s childe, he’s tartaglia and he’s ajax- all at once and one at a time. he’s childe, the ruthless maniacal warrior who prioritizes strength and triumph above all else- a weapon of war. he’s tartaglia, the calculating, fake smile wearing, connection-making debt collector- a fatui harbinger. but then, he’s also ajax, a warm, family loving, hug providing and dream protecting big brother- your best friend.

you see all three of those people in him. though… the latter, not so often. he was ajax when he was at home, seeing his family and playing around with teucer, that you know, but you hadn’t seen him in morepesok in more than half a decade. no, the last time you saw him be ajax was when you were fourteen- you called him ajax for the last time when you were fourteen.

ever since then, he’s been childe.

you’ve never made the mistake to call him otherwise, because there was no mistake to be made at all. when you were in zapolyarny palace, he was childe. when you were dining in liyue, he was childe. even when you first sparred and eventually fought in the golden house, he was childe.

so why is it now when you’re faced with an entirely new being, biology indecipherable yet identity indistinguishable, that you call him ajax?

perhaps you’d like to blame it on exhaustion- you’d been fighting incessantly for whoever knows how long, fingers sore from gripping your weapon so tight and legs shaking to merely stand. or perhaps it’s the sheer confusion and inability to truly comprehend the sight before you, there’s no plausible explanation within your grasp as to why he’s even able to transform into that after all. or maybe… maybe you see too many people in him that aren’t ajax anymore.

and you’re desperate to see ajax again.

and the worst part is that you can’t even name the being before you, you can’t come up with what or who it could be within childe’s facets. the mental gymnastics happening in your brain render you frozen, limbs heavy and heart erratic- leaving you to fall motionlessly when the creature stabs his weapon into the ground and promptly shatters it. the falling rubble reveals a whole new lower floor of the golden house, one that your downturned gaze can’t help but stare into as you’re falling. as the ground seems to get closer, you shut your eyes and brace for the impact, hoping it’ll at most break just your ankles.

but the impact never arrives.

instead, you feel a tug to your sleeve that breaks the violent pull of gravity you were experiencing- it results in your feet making the gentlest contact with the ground. you assume it was paimon pulling you just in time as she floats down along the two of you, because the second you open your eyes she’s flying over to the traveler to check on her.

the sight takes away any notice of the purple flash that passes through you in the very same moment.

after a brief recovery, the two of square up for a third time as you spot a purple spark from across the settling dust of the debris. it’s centered and tall, telling you the glow is coming directly from the singular eye of the creature.

“you got to the gnosis before me, didn’t you?!” a deep, distorted, growling voice yells out, yet you can still hear a bit of childe’s own voice within it.

“did you simply move faster? or… did you leak the information regarding the golden house to me on purpose? was it you, y/n? have you been working with them from the start?!” he swings at you expertly, electro trailing after the weapon’s path while surges of water shoot up towards you at the same time.

“no matter. hand over the gnosis, now! don’t make me take it from you…”

“w-we didn’t take it!” paimon defends.

“do you hear yourself right now?! none of us could’ve taken it, it’s not here!” you add coarsely.

he doesn’t seem to hear you as he incessantly strikes and blinks away from your attacks, sending his own long ranged lightning strikes instead. both of you take several heavy hits from the creature and after some time, you feel like you’re about to collapse. you don’t have anymore energy to heal yourself, much less the traveler- yet you still push yourself to sustain her as much as you can. you think you’ve reached hallucinatory levels of exhaustion when you see… it.

an impossibly large elemental whale that surges from the ground.

it flies upward with a deafening vocalization and slams back down with waves of water. you back up as far as possible as the whale takes up the entire floor, even if you doubt that what you see is real. that very doubt is soon dispelled when you watch the traveler fall to the ground where the whale just landed, soaked in water. you panic and rush to aid her but before you even get to the traveler’s side, the creature’s large blade comes down right in front of you- it was so close that were you even an inch forward, it would’ve sliced your face clean off. the traveler gestures for you not worry about her as she get struggles to stand up and eyes the creature, who’s currently preparing a charging surge of electro and hydro, while you’re cornered.

the seconds before he strikes seem to slow down while your heart pumps inhumanely fast- your mind scatters for what to do until you look down took your feet, noticing the way the excess water ripples with your steps. your hand twitches with cryo energy and a wall of ice shoots up the next moment, extending all the way to where the traveler is still getting up. the unexpected defense catches the creature off-guard and he staggers for a moment, giving you the chance to sprint all the way out and behind him, where his starry cape floats endlessly into nothingness. you almost land your sneak attack when he suddenly seems to sense your presence and turns around just in time to retaliate.

“all you do is run!” he growls.

when he slashes his electro-charged weapon this time, you manage to catch it with the pole of your own spear, holding it away from you with all the might you’re still able to muster. movement from your peripheral vision catches your attention.

“now!” you yell.

the traveler understands perfectly and jumps to hit the creature from the back while he’s still busy pushing back against your polearm. the strike seems to be final, as the creature drops his weapon from yours and steps back, falling to his knees. another flash of purple light emits from him and suddenly, childe is in the creature’s stead once more.

he heaves weakly, head turned down defeatedly.

“ngh… well then, time to cool off.”

childe is practically spitting out the words with how much force he has to put into getting them out. “it seems the burden of the foul legacy transformation was too great on my body. i lacked the opportunity to think this through…”

foul legacy… well there’s its name. seeing childe in front of you again makes the entirety of the last few minutes seem unreal, like you woke up from a nightmare where childe was… that. like it never happened- though the sheer amount of injuries that all three of you bear prove otherwise.

“…you had no connection to the gnosis, no matter where it’d been taken.”

“that’s what we’ve been trying to tell you! we didn’t take it!” paimon urges, hands on her hips.

childe struggles to get to his feet, as if his limbs have turned to lead, once he finally gets to it, he’s still panting coarsely.

“this battle has already left me satisfied. anyone who strives as i do to grow stronger shall be called a friend, even if our friendship can only be shown in battle against one another.” with the next sentence, childe eyes you momentarily, when you try to catch his gaze back, it’s already gone- as if he’s too ashamed to actually meet your eyes in return.

“pretty sure that’s not the normal way to make friends.”

you snort. “you’re still expecting anything normal after all this?”

“unfortunately, i mus bring this amiable conversation to an end. my quest still beckons. given that the gnosis wasn’t taken by anyone, we must look to the beginning- it was never in the exuvia to begin with. in fact, it might be that the exuvia was just a diversion of sorts.”

“hm… i wonder who called that way beforehand.”

“what? so you mean that…” paimon trails off and the traveler finishes.

“…rex lapis is alive?”

you nod. “it would appear so.”

“it seems that the guardian deity of the capital of commerce is also well-versed in little maneuvers beyond the boundaries of contracts. as such, we must now look to our backup plan.”

your heart sinks.

with all the commotion, you’d nearly forgotten what you went to the golden house for to begin with. to deter childe from summoning osial. suddenly, all the tension and uneasiness from the fight creeps back into your spine and the traveler notices instantly, visibly becoming concerned herself.

“childe…” you warn.

paimon, on the other hand, remains clueless. “backup plan?”

“i had hoped it would never come to this… for the weak to be swept away in the process. the truth is, the world belongs to those who pursue strength- i seldom willingly involve myself with the weak. unfortunately, we cannot be picky about our methods as fatui harbingers, children must all learn to eat their vegetables sometimes.”

his choice of words and childish expression seems to only pour more salt into the wound- famously something you heard his mother nag him about when you were younger, which in turn you’d hear him complain about to you in private. seems like he’s more than learned to eat his vegetables and only the gods may know how much you wish he didn’t.

“so what’re you planning to do?”

“i will awaken the god that lies dormant beneath guyun stone forest.”

“a god?!” paimon exclaims.

you sigh, shamefully averting your gaze to the ground. “osial, overlord of the vortex… he was defeated by rex lapis in the archon war. he’s remained pinned beneath the geo archon’s spears in guyun stone forest ever since.”

“if such an ancient god were to be unleashed upon liyue harbor, defenseless without the protection of its deity…”

your fists are shut so tightly that your nails start digging into your palms.

“he means to draw out rex lapis with a threat to his people.”

childe nods smugly. “do you truly think the cunning rex lapis would just stand aloof and watch the ensuing destruction?”

paimon’s gaze scatters around nervously. “but… the archon war ended two thousand years ago! how could an ancient god appear in a world now overseen by the seven?”

“simple. i’ve already prepared the means to awaken it.”

an amber aura suddenly surrounds childe and within another flash, sigils of permission start orbiting him.

“hey! those are sigils of permission!”

“the fatui have been researching them and… well- duplicating them.” you might as well assist in the exposition of the plan, no point in standing helplessly aside while childe prepares to drown an entire city. any chance of stopping him forcibly was also out the window, on account of how physically worn you were- standing on your shaking legs at all was already a challenge.

soon enough, thunders can be heard outside the golden house- it’s already done. you only don’t feel completely and utterly hopeless at how the next moments might turn out because, after seeing the traveler’s abilities in action, a sliver of faith festers in your chest. now it’s up to her and the adepti to deliver.

“hahaha! let’s see… will the nation that lost its deity be swallowed up by an ancient malice once more? if you wish to drown together with the people of liyue, you’re free to stay and enjoy the show!”

as childe laughs evilly, he’s swallowed by a vortex of water that floats up into the ceiling of the house and disappears without a trace and the three of you that remain rush out to catch up to him. unsurprisingly, there’s no clue as to where he might’ve gone and as the traveler and paimon prepare to head to the harbor and face again straight osial, they stop to look at you expectantly. you tell them that as much as you’d like to aid in the fight, you should go look for childe.

—

“heh… here to finish the job while i’m still weak?”

for someone so crafty, childe is not exactly hard to find. in fact, he’s in the first place you even think of looking- the mountaintop where you first sparred, sat against the trunk of one of the outer ginkgo trees in the area. his position displays a perfect view of the catastrophe you caused, the jade chamber floating before the seas where osial emerges from. childe doesn’t even turn to look over his shoulder when you arrive silently but he knows it’s you, almost as if he was waiting for you to show up.

“depends on how this conversation goes, really- and trust me when i say we have plenty to talk about.”

the harbinger remains silent, only turning his head to watch you sit neatly beside him against the next tree over and waiting for you to keep going.

“first of all… what the fuck was that in the golden house?”

he laughs, boyishly this time.

“a lot happened back there so that’s not very specific, but i’ll assume you’re referring to foul legacy. i guess i do owe you this explanation.” childe averts his gaze and sighs deeply, like he’s preparing to admit something difficult. the very start of his sentence justifies that.

“when i disappeared that day, i… fell. not like tripping on the ground or anything, i literally fell through the earth.”

you feel your entire being sink at the mention of that day. as painful as it is, you recall the exact moment he’s talking about- the very second the disappeared from your sight in the snow, at least now there’s some clarity as to what happened. unfortunately, that clarity doesn’t make anything any more comprehensible.

your eyebrows furrow in confusion. “w-what?”

“even after all these years, i myself don’t exactly know what happened. i just remember lying there in the snow, the wolves getting closer and closer and then- suddenly, a crevice opens and i fall straight through the ground. and i end up in the abyss.”

the abyss… you haven’t heard much about the abyss. it’s never come up as something of relevance or even interest to you. it’s always felt like such a distant topic to you, like i’d never truly be important enough for you to involve yourself in- turns out you’ve been sitting right next to it. snapping yourself from your brief thoughts, you turn to see childe with a tense expression, as though recalling is physically taxing to him.

“childe… you don’t need to tell me this if you’re-“

“ajax.”

“what?”

“call me ajax, please. i heard you say it back there and it’s been so long since you’ve called me that.” he asks, almost breathlessly.

so he did hear you before. dammit. the desperation for the name present in his voice sends you into reminiscence- about your time as children- how happy you were, how free you were, how careless you were. it seemed just like yesterday you were still fourteen and laughing with ajax as you played in his childhood bedroom. how did it all end up like this? with the two of you sitting in a mountaintop- pathetic, injured and tired as you watch an entire fucking catastrophe happen to a nation from far away.

ajax goes on to tell you about his time in the abyss, where he met a woman named skirk, where he was taught all he knows about combat, including but not limited to the foul legacy form, and where he became the killing machine that he is.

“then… can i ask- the day you came back,” you start off and the memory already brings stinging tears to your eyes. the scar on your neck, the one you still have from ajax’s sword, seems to start burning as well.

“why-… why did you react like that? was it the shock from all you went through?”

ajax’s expression turns to that of a kicked puppy- well in this case, he would be the one to kick the puppy and feel endlessly guilty about it. he eyes your neck and spots the small slit of scarred tissue, flinching at his own doing.

“i-i would say so, yes. if i’m being entirely honest, i don’t even remember that day very well. i guess i was still in a state or fight or flight… well, heh, in my case only fight.” he chuckles sheepishly and you return it.

“i’m… i’m really sorry for hurting you, y/n. i know i’m not exactly in the place to say that after fighting you twice in a day but- i promise i never intended to back then.”

you nod in understanding, you’re too spent to even try to be mad at him right now. looking back towards the fight, you watch osial take a heavy hit from the defenders of liyue just in time. at this point you’re not even worried that they might not win.

“i’m tired of fighting, ajax. as annoying as you can be sometimes and in need of a bicker, i’m tired of being… on edge whenever we talk. we’re clearly having a nice talk right now so, tell you what- what about a truce? let’s not make each other’s lives harder than they already are.”

ajax seems to physically light up at your proposition, like it’s all he’s ever wanted. he nods fervently and flashes a giddy smile that infects your own face subconsciously. you reach into one of your pockets with an idea, pulling out a small object that you present to him on an open palm.

“here. a symbol of our truce.”

you offer him one of the origami stars you made before, it’s not like you have any use for the hundreds of them that you made. ajax takes it into his own hands with the gentlest of holds.

“since when do you know how to make these?”

“since earlier today. i was astronomically bored waiting for the millelith to show up.”

ajax snorts out a laugh, then a second passes by and he bursts into full hearty laughter and for the third time, you can’t help but to join in on him.

“wait! does this mean we can still spar every once in awhile?”

“don’t push it, harbinger.”

taglist ; @kentply @osaemu @rain-and-a-nice-nap

[theharmonious13]

342 - Recognition Test

It is Watari, nooooooooooooooo 😭

Omg how are they going to investigate? This is arguably worse than the traps ngl

Yanagi hugged Mai out of relief OMG 🥺

If Yanagi gets with Mai ONLY because Watari is dead though 😭

Mentally distressed Yanagi :3

Poor Hama losing all of his friendsTM

Everybody is boycotting, hooray

Hama would rather die than go on... 😔

Watch it be the people in the pool and it was timed rather well

I don't want it to be Hama, Mai or Hiroaki though 😩

They're all fed up with eachotherTM

Even Hasegawa is beefing with Mai and he's scared of her 😭

Yanagi being the voice of reason out of the whole group to me is wild

Man it makes sense why they never follow their investigation rules to the letter but come on guys get it together 😩

Wada dissing the whole cast and proving why he and Yanagi are the best haha

343 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Computer Lab

Saving the computers is good, destroying the 3D printer also good tbf

I can't stress enough how much I like seeing this duo on occasion

344 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Watari's Room

Hama... you trashed the room to find Watari, that's so sad...

You think she killed herself???

Why go through all the trouble of damaging school property just to do the above

Oh no... Hama got a note, gdi when do these cases end

The Love Nishino sign off is weird to me ngl, like it half sounds like Watari but it moreso sounds like someone trying to impersonate her speech patterns (and not well)

Watari is definitely not the type to write a note, especially to Hama since they were close

Oh dear this is sus as hell

SECOND NOTE!?

HIROAKI WAS IN THERE!? AND THEN NOT!? WHO WAS SNEAKING AROUND?

Incase of what? Evidence providing? What on Earth does Hasegawa intend to do with it?

345 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Chemistry Lab

Tamba is totally not sus of MaiTM

Oh Jesus so they removed evidence, all the students would have actually died no way 😭

346 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Body

Poor Wada...

Poor Yanagi...

SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE SKIN!?

Oh no this video is really short, do they fall? Or is the body impossible to investigate?

347 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Locked Room

Whinging about Takeshi's height is a mood lmao

Omg what was in it?

WHAT-?

THEY CONNECT!?

GUNS!?

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

WEAPONS!?

WHO KNEW THIS WOULD BE BEHIND THE DOOR!?

WHO BROKE INTO THIS PLACE VIA THE FIRE!?

348 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Engineering Lab

I forgot this was a room too 💀

Tamba trying to accidentally set herself on fireTM

349 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Sewing Room

Garage smell?

Gasoline? No wonder Hama made the above comment

Chunk of metal? Oh god... really important clue, I'm getting Chapter 2 flashbacks

I can't even imagine how damaged these rooms are if they have to stick to the walls

350 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Hayashi's Room

Student Profile time?

Has Watari got suicidal tendencies? That's the only reason atm I can think of using the book, or for any kind of student weakness that was stated in the interviews

"Do you want to live?" Was such a cold line from Hasegawa 😭

Morals (Hama) vs Necessity Drives (Hasegawa)

How much info is he gonna read to us and how much am I going to need to write down for later?

Also Hama asked not to read the dead students profiles, I know Isono is Student 1 but come on man 😭

Hama gonna cry 😩

Sensitive Hasegawa all of a sudden when it comes to Kamimura 👀

Hayashi is going to kill Ken after this, actually all the students are going to do that 💀

That was an... interesting reaction to Hama's question about the fear of the dark hypocrisy Ken...

Hama looking at Hasegawa's snooping like -_-

They're both Okazaki haters togetherTM

Yeah but will you let him read yours huh? HUH? (Hasegawa is acting weird I think)

He's so outspoken considering his abcence

2 Sisters? What happened to the other one? Am I forgetting something?

Why is Hasegawa so sensitive about his profile if it's as short as Hama says?

Bro asking if Watari is Yanagi's girlfriend after she passed is WILD

351 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Student Cafe

Ojima not being checked in all the time worries me so 😭

Emphasis on the fuck from Hiroaki hehe (I'm paying more attention to how the voice actors portray lines after the 20k Views Tetro Celebration livestream)

352 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Woodshop

Ah they can estimate the area in which the fire started, that's smart

353 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Supply Closet

Oh?

Rearranging Furniture ✨ (or however the viral audio clips go lmao)

354 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Incinerator Room

Such a short video good lord

355 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Archive

UH OH WHAT HAPPENED

Yanagi doesn't deserve ANOTHER INJURY WTF

Is this what Yanagi fell onto going to be VERY RELEVANT TO THE CASE-?

Yanagi instinctively asking for Mai shows how much he cares about her <3

356 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Kitchen

No comment, just engrossed in watching

357 - Rescue

Wait I jumped forward in titles who fell down a floor?

Caught up, poor Yanagi 😭

Oh no... poor Yanagi is impaired for the trial

MAI TAKING CARE OF HIM LET'S GO

358 - Cave

Is this a secret hidey hole/stash for someone suspicious that might not even be a killer? Or a part of school they haven't been able to access yet? Or an enclosed space created by the debris? All my guesses before I watch the video

TAKESHI AWOKE AT A PIVOTAL MOMENT!?

WHY WAS THERE AN EXPLOSION!?

WHAT A BROMANCE/ROMANCE MOMENT FOR TAKESHI X OJIMA

Huh!?

They're in THE UNDERGROUND!? A MOUNTAIN!?

359 - Breakdown for the Raging Wildfire Girl: Staff Room

Is engrossed in the conversation again

360 - Catalyst

Omg Ojima no...

Oh god Yanagi DOES NOT SOUND WELL

Why is the episode called Catalyst though? Nothing really uh... sparked a follow up during this episode