#I don’t see it portrayed as much in fandom for some reason but they absolutely do and I’ll die on that hill

[karmathehalflander]

Why both Eddie and Venom are autistic and how the movies are actually a metaphor for neurodivergence

Includes some of my personal headcanons and concepts that I’ve been thinking about and need to share.

BE WARNED!!! This post is a bit long (and also a cringy, rambling, nonsensical mess) full thing under cut.

Some quick notes before we begin: when I have one of their names at the beginning of a section it means anything in that section only applies to one of them. (Idk, I couldn’t figure out how to organize this, you’ll see what I mean)

I don’t know much comic lore, all of this is based off of the movies. Though the movies are a different universe so I don’t think it will matter too much.

Also I use He/They/It pronouns for Venom.

In the end, Im just one guy with a hyper fixation please take everything I say with a grain of salt and feel free to add on or correct me about stuff. Especially if I say anything stereotypical or offensive about nurodivergance/autism a lot of this is based on some personal experience and I absolutely make mistakes and generalizations.

Alright enough of my yapping let’s get to it.

Overall big picture stuff

Applies to Both of them

the whole concept of them being “losers” together is kind of autistic coded. Autistic people are often viewed as incompetent or childish or useless. And I like to think they are connecting over that shared experience.

Noise sensitivity!!! Both of them have noise sensitivity! I probably don’t need to elaborate that much but that one scene in their apartment was some of the best overstimulation representation I’ve ever seen overstimulation guitar scene

Venom

Venom comes across as unfeeling because they don’t emote in a “normal” way.

They’re very blunt and literal.

Venom sometimes has a slightly higher-pitched voice when excited or angry. Which I’m going to attribute to him masking. He wants to appear tougher and scarier. This is important to its species and Venom, who is already perceived as weak by their peers, intentionally deepens his voice a bit to blend in. (This is definitely a headcanon but I love this concept so I don’t care that the real reason is that the voice modifier they use does silly things)

This is also why I think it’s so concerned about Eddie and him “looking bad” Looking weak was dangerous and they trained themself to hide “weakness”

It’s always “How does Venom affect people” and never “What does Venom need and how do other people’s actions affect them”

Venom prefers to express its thoughts and feelings through mental connection with its host and then have that person relay the information to whomever they are “speaking” to. Nonverbal communication!

Venom not understanding humans (social interaction, conventions, etc.) is kind of autistic coded.

Eddie

Edie kind of disregards a lot of social conventions. Still hangs out with his ex-fiancé AND her boyfriend. He also doesn’t seem to mind talking to Venom out loud.

Eddies is just kind of anxious in general.

Eddie struggles to find full time employment.

On that vein, he also struggles to maintain relationships.

Eddie's sense of justice. Eddie has a strong sense of justice and morals that often don’t align with generally accepted values and he follows this view of justice and morality to an absurd degree and it often gets him in trouble. Aka, the entire plot of the first movie is because Eddie has autism.

He wears the same clothes all the time.

Specific moments that I think about

Venom

Venom chewing on the tire swing (they both have oral stims btw)

Sand between his toes. Idk I just thought it was cute and chose to believe they like the sensation.

Say it with me. Tater tots are a safe food!!!

Venom rocks back and forth a lot.

This is a stretch but when Venom is like “look at all these weirdos, my kind of people” it’s a metaphor for him being queer but I’d argue it also kind of fits with neurodivergence. Neurodivergent people often connect with “weirdos” (other neurodivergent people)

Likes organization “Pile of bodies, pile of heads”

Eddie

I’ve been told Eddie chews on his necklace at the beginning of the movie but I can’t find the clip and can’t do a rewatch right now so take that with a grain of salt… (I chose to believe this happened though. Also his bracelets are stim heaven)

When he says “Oh, I have a parasite” to Mrs. Chen he had no clue what to say here. He just said the first thing that came to mind and panicked instead of explaining.

Also the way he says things funny. Ex: “✨It’s a treeeee✨” supa, supa, fhasstt” “Heee…. has. one. up. hi’s. Ass toooooo” “ET. Phone home. Aliens? 😃” I chose to believe they are vocal stims (I also attempted to find a compilation but I couldn’t find any. Maybe I’ll make one sometime)

Eddie also makes sound effects a lot.

Eddie writes notes on pen and paper instead of digitally.

He apologizes an excessive amount. Like he says “I’m sorry” to people actively trying to kill him. Which is so real.

“I just bit that guys head off” “I, uhhh, yea I’ve been there it’s not fun” 😕

Eddie also rocks back and forth. Which can be seen in this scene

Quick segment into why I think Venom was rejected by other Klyntar (it’s because he has autism)

Venom doesn’t adapt as quickly or as efficiently as other Klyntar. It doesn’t handle change well.

All of the normal Klyntar weaknesses are turned up to 1000 with them. Instead of just certain frequencies, the range that hurts him is larger and is also affected by loud noises. As shown by: “Venom” car alarm scene

instead of just fire, heat also bothers it. Also doesn’t adapt to light well. (Just a headcanon)

Can’t create weapons out of their body like other Klyntar. struggles with “simple” skills.

Much more emotional than other Klyntar and develop attachments (also purely a headcanon)

Just overall didn’t fit well into their society.

Just headcanons

Venom and Eddie are so compatible because their brains work the same way.

“I wish I could just mentally project my thoughts and feelings directly into your brain. Oh wait, we can do that!”

Venom also has temperature sensitivities. He gets hot.

Venom likes to stim to low key music, mainly jazz and lo-fi. Does the one song on repeat for three hours to wring all the happy chemicals out of it like a dish rag thing.

Venom also absolutely loves cheesy pop music (unrelated to anything here but I’m right and I needed to include it)

Venom functions as a weighted blanket for Eddie when he’s anxious. Maybe even hides under his shirt and stuff and becomes an extra weight.

Eddie stims with his jewelry.

Venom likes to sit in the freezer. Sometimes they visit Mrs. Chen's walk in just to chill (lol)

Purely my opinion but I think Venom also has some light sensitivity for a bit because it’s not used to being in such a bright environment. He gets used to it eventually but every once in awhile he finds the city lights overstimulating.

They are both very tactile. Touching things. Love a good texture.

Venom is super particular about food for someone who eats out the garbage but certain textures and flavors drive them crazy.

Venom hates vegetables. (Except for celery because it likes the crunchy and stringyness of it)

How all of this makes for a great metaphor!

Feeling like an alien in the world is probably the most relatable thing for a lot of nurodivergent people. Like there’s a manual for being human you don’t have. And just the concept of a literal alien showing up and struggling to navigate in a world not made for it is so relatable!

The way they both immediately connect to each other because they have the same weird brain stuff and weren’t accepted by their respective societies is so adorable and wholesome.

“We’re not so different, you and I” This line lives rent-free in my mind at all times. It’s my favorite quote. I think it perfectly encapsulates their relationship and why it’s special. They have autism and are bonding because the other is the first person who truly understands them! (Cries, screams, throws up)

In conclusion

They are in love and have autism. And they cling to each other because they are the first people to truly understand each other. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

Also I listened to UFO by Smith and Thell on loop while writing this. It’s very autistic symbrock coded so give it a listen if you’re a fan of inde-pop.

[once-upon-the-earth]

Look I think I said it before somewhere but I need to talk about it again.

Aziraphale (in the show - his characterization differs in the book and I’m talking about show Aziraphale here) is a soft character. He started out as a soldier and he made the conscious decision to give the sword away to someone who would use it for protection, instead of keeping it to fight (leaving out the whole thing about War owning it later on cause that’s a different topic and definitely wasn’t what Aziraphale had in mind when giving away the sword). He also makes a conscious decision to look and act as non-threatening as possible, instead deciding to look soft and huggable and gay as hell a tree full of monkeys on nitrogen oxide. We don’t see him fighting anybody even when he gets the sword back - he just holds it and swings it around a little, he doesn’t even lift it when they face Satan (I think. I’d have to go back and watch again but I’m fairly sure he just stands in the background behind Adam with the tip of the sword facing the ground).

We know, or at least suspect from the scene where he fixes the hole in the wall that he’s physically strong and we know he’s still technically a soldier in Heavens eyes (Gabriel going „you’re a lean mean fighting machine“ and him having and possibly leading a platoon in Heaven) but he fully rejects that position in episode five to go back to Earth. He doesn’t want to be a soldier at all. He’s still a protector, we see this in season two with Jimbriel (he literally says „I said I would protect you and I will), but even THEN he doesn’t physically fight the demons entering the bookshop (he lights the circle but it’s Maggie and Nina throwing fire extinguishers and encyclopedias).

I know we as the fandom love badass Aziraphale. I love badass Aziraphale as well. I take a little bit of an issue with how him actually being badass is portrayed in fanfic sometimes because a lot of trying to make him physically fight demons comes across as trying to make him more masculine, more fit, less the campy, soft, kind character that he is and it annoys me. (A part of that is also how people try to make him more like Crowley, which I don’t like the undertones of either but that’s a whole different topic.) Both because I don’t like the implication that to make him badass you have to change that part of his character and because we’ve seen him being badass in the show already and it was either a) trying to protect humans/Crowley/Jimbriel, which involved a lot more threatening that him actually throwing hands or on one occasion b) him being bitchy (Furfur pronouncing his name wrong). It was him being kind and caring about people and their lives! And possibly their reading skills.

And I know there’s a lot of hope for more badass Aziraphale in season three, because hell yeah, Heaven getting obliterated from the inside? Absolutely. But when we get to see BAMF Aziraphale in season three (because I don’t doubt we will, in some form or other) I’d much rather see him be badass by outsmarting Heaven (magic tricks anybody?) and getting away with it or threatening the Metatron or whatever than by punching somebody in the face. And IF he does have to use physical violence, then I want there to be a reason for it and I want it to be portrayed as a bad thing. Like I want I to be the absolutely lowest point of the character because we know how much he detests doing it and he hates having to do it anyways.

In that case also want it to end with the Metatron dead in a ditch.

[irondad-defensesquad]

My Irondad fic recs!

I thought of doing this because why not? Admittedly, I'm not reading as much fanfiction as I did a couple years ago, but some fics have changed my life entirely. In case I forgot one, I'll add it later!

I would’ve organized this in a bullet list, but Tumblr hates me and invented a character limit for that. So this is going to be long and will be under the cut. Anyway, let’s do this!

Rare and Sweet As Cherry Wine by loubuttons – I've mentioned this one before, but this fic right here was what inspired me to write my own Irondad works. One very particular detail I like about it is how it portrays Maria, Tony's mother. It's not what I usually see in other fics about Tony's childhood, since they tend to make Howard the big bad parent. Of course, this is because I personally related to it, as I don't believe in the "bad parent vs. good parent". I also like that it praises Edwin Jarvis as the one who looked out for Tony the most. It's pretty realistic and a very melancholic character study, IMO. *TW for abuse and neglect*

You're Always Iron Man by madasthesea – a very short fic but I absolutely love the premise. Takes place after the big battle in Iron Man 2, and Tony finds little Peter again. They have a very endearing interaction. The following chapter is also very cute!

Nothing like a fresh cup of humiliation in the morning by madasthesea – Pure fluff! This one is probably a classic in the Irondad fandom. Tony kisses Peter's forehead without second thought. Shenanigans ensue. It's so adorable and funny. If you just want to read fluff without angst, this one is for you.

when my body won't hold me anymore (where will I go) by madasthesea - I think I heard about this fic thanks to @/irondadfics here on Tumblr, but I might be wrong since I already knew the Nice work, kid series. Anyway, Peter is believed to be dead, so Tony (and the rest of the Avengers team) is mourning him. In reality, Peter is astral projecting. You know, sort of like how Stephen Strange, in his first movie, was fighting a guy in the other dimension while his body on Earth was struggling to live. That's basically what happens. Strange appears, of course, and saves the day. And I pretty much LOVE the presumed dead trope. I don't know why. Maybe it's the angst of it all. *TW for grief/mourning and temporary character death*

The Reason by doctornineandthreequarters – I think I read this one when I was still writing Oh, take me back to the start. I was looking for fics for inspiration, and I found this one. During the Time Heist in Endgame, Tony remembers the reason he's fighting to bring everyone else back. It's very emotional.

Couch Cuddles by happyaspie – Classic sickfic, but with more fluff than anything. I like rereading it when I feel lonely and touch-starved, especially when I'm also sick like Peter.

You’re So Much Like Me (I’m Sorry) by SpaceCowboysFromMars – Irondad + Miles Morales! Peter is an adult in this, and he freaks out when an injured Miles arrives in his apartment. Tony gives him some wisdom about mentoring and parenting. I don’t usually find Irondad stories featuring Miles (and not necessarily a Spider-Verse crossover), so this was a nice discovery. Peter & Miles & Tony is a very underrated trio IMO. *TW for slight gore*

I'm Glad I Have You by punkybunny – Peter has been having a rough time, dealing with loneliness as Aunt May is not home often, and with bullying at school... until he finally has the chance to spend time with Tony. However, the demons don't disappear completely. Obviously, more Hurt/Comfort, lmao. *TW for nightmare/bad dream*

I Want to Trust You by punkybunny – Actually part of a series that, admittedly, I haven't read all the other stories. But even this one is a very interesting concept on its own. This is a Hydra Peter AU, after Peter has been rescued. He gets sick but given his past in Hydra, he thinks Tony is going to get angry. Peter is proven wrong when Tony helps him get better. The ending is very adorable. I'll see if I can read the rest of the series one day. *TW for past abuse and experimentation*

what you think I've done wrong by ironxprince – I don't often read Biodad stories as you all know, but I was, again, looking for inspiration for You keep me searching for a heart of gold, and I stumbled across this one. Basically Peter, as Tony's biological son, finally meets Howard. It goes as well as you think /sarcasm. *TW for physical abuse*

i, in time, will climb my mountain by ironxprince – This one is heavy. Once again, Peter is Tony's bio son, and he's suicidal. Every time Peter attempts suicide, he buys a new plant. Tony doesn't know this, so he's confused as to why there are so many plants in their house. I love this one, but of course, I try to read it when I’m not having a really bad day. *Once again, TW for suicide attempts*

how do you get that lonely (and nobody knows?) by parkrstark – Yeah... another heavy one. Peter attempts suicide but he saves himself before he reaches the ground. With that, he goes to Tony. This ends happily, don't worry. *TW for suicide attempt*

When You Can't Sleep by Emily_F6 – Pretty much Tony comforting a sleepy Peter, who has just had a nightmare about Thanos. Just Hurt/Comfort and domestic fluff. *TW for mention of death*

i get by (but it's eating me alive) by Livinei – Honestly, I think this is the BEST May's Abusive Boyfriend story I've ever read. For one, none of the characters are oblivious nor dismissive of Peter's feelings. May isn't neglectful and Ned actually tries to encourage Peter to tell someone. I also like that Peter isn't completely helpless. I don't usually see those things in other fics with this trope, sadly. And of course, Protective Tony is my weakness. *TW for emotional and physical abuse*

Hold Me Together by An_Odd_Idea – Post-Endgame where Tony is alive, and Peter and Tony are both trying to cope, so they rely on each other. Pure Hurt/Comfort.

A Tremendous Thing by ExpectoPatronum – Possibly one of my favorite Irondad stories EVER. Also post-Endgame with Alive Tony (though the author better explains it in the notes, it's supposed to be part of a series, but this story can be read on its own). There are a lot of references to Charlotte's Web if you're familiar with it. Basically, it's Father's Day and Peter is feeling guilty and out of place at Tony's lake house, even though everyone is readily trying to include him. It's absolutely beautiful and painful.

Hug You I Must by spiderwriting (catch_you_later) – Probably one of the first touch-starved Peter fics I've read. I like how it describes touch-starvation as this "itchy" current in your body, something that makes you anxious. Thankfully, Peter gets his hug later on. Plus there are some Star Wars references (the title probably is one, lol). *There's some minor violence here when Peter is fighting off some bad guys, but not the focus of the fic*

When You're There With No One There To Hold, I'll Be The Arms That Reach For You by Squibbles94 – Another touch-starved Peter fic. But I really like the references to Cast Away. Ironically I saw this movie in the same year the author published this fic (dare I say SHORTLY after it was posted). I also had no idea that Cast Away was entirely about isolation. Gosh, the main character's monologue at the end ALWAYS gets to me... anyway, yeah, the peak of the pandemic was awful to me, so reading fics like this one helped tons. It still does.

I am cold by N/A (orphan account) – Peter tries to visit Tony, but he gets lost in a subway tunnel on a freezing day. Eventually we learn why Peter wanted to see Tony, but overall this is mainly domestic fluff. Everything ends well.

Sorry Pedro by PinkEasterEggs – One of the first Irondad fics I read. Peter has a nightmare about Homecoming (mainly Toomes), but he avoids waking Tony for that reason. But thanks to F.R.I.D.A.Y's protocols, Peter goes to his mentor. Tony is also super soft here and it makes my heart swoon.

you are enough by diaz_evan – Another post-Endgame fic. Arguably I began reading Irondad fics only after Endgame released. Anyway, this one is short, kinda sad but it ends well. It’s Tony’s birthday and Peter feels very anxious about what to get him as a present. Thankfully, he doesn’t need to prove his love for Tony. *TW for panic attack*

Happy Father’s Day, Mr. Stark by downeylove – There are a lot of Father’s Day fics for these two, of course, but this one takes the cake for me. It’s simple but very endearing to me. Tony obviously doesn’t have good memories of this day, but Peter changes that for the first time. It’s really cute. Plus, Pepper is here, and I love her. I wish I could read more of her interacting with Peter. *TW for mentions of alcoholism and past child abuse*

5 Times Peter Didn’t Say He Was Struggling… And The One Time He Did by Bladam_Shevine – Again, an old fic I read years ago. I admit I haven’t re-read it in a while, but I remember enjoying it and even saving it to read offline. It’s basically what it says in the title: Peter struggles in many ways and he initially refuses help. Tony is always there to reassure him he can count on him. Bruce is here if you like him! And MJ helps Peter on one of the chapters as well. The chapters might get heavier as they go, but it ends on a hopeful note. *TW for injury, panic attack, suicide attempt (it doesn’t involve Peter), and depression*

The Good Days and the Bad by SoupGirlLovesSoup - Peter has had a bad day, now he's cuddling with Tony. It takes a while before Peter finally tells him what happened. It gets sad, but it's mostly fluff and it ends hopefully. I love re-reading it when I need the comfort. *TW for mention of suicide attempt, depression, and bullying*

Breathe Again by gwenoakley - Post-Endgame where Tony survives. He's recovering in the hospital and Peter finally reunites with him. Before that, though, we can feel the anxiety and trauma Peter feels. Definitely makes me emotional. It's the ending they deserved.

Popsicles and Playgrounds by ironfamjam - I can't believe I forgot to save this one in my bookmarks. I used to re-read this all the time! It's an AU where MIT student Tony meets a kid Peter. Eventually, Tony becomes Peter's babysitter! This is part of a series, which I still have to read fully. It's such a wholesome idea!! <3 *Howard's bad parenting is mostly mentioned*

Well, for now this is it! Again, I might add more fics here. I think I also could make a list of what particular concepts I want to read more in Irondad stories, so maybe you guys could give me your own recs. I might try to resume my habit of reading Irondad fics, because they give me a lot of comfort. Thanks for reading this far! I hope you enjoy any of the stories I included.

(I'm aware some authors here have their accounts on Tumblr, but I didn't want to annoy anyone by tagging them, so yeah 😅)

EDIT (June 4th, 2024): What Irondad fics I would like to read!

[babygirlbdubs]

Hello Technoblade voters!

So, your guy lost to the GoodTimes. Maybe you don’t know who to vote for now. I mean, if Technoblade isn’t immune to the good times… who is?

I propose to you: Ethoslab.

Now, if you don’t know who Etho is, lemme give you a rundown.

he’s one of THE og minecraft letsplayers. your favorite minecraft youtuber? yeah, etho is probably one of the reasons they got into mcyt. etho is your favorite mcyt’s favorite mcyt

he’s faceless, and has been for his entire 12+ year youtube career

he has only changed his skin once or twice in those 12 years, and the most recent one was to remove the extra face on his torso because he didn’t know how previously

that skin is literally just kakashi naruto

etho is a god at redstone. he basically invented half the redstone that’s used today. hopper clock? that’s etho’s. i mean… he’s invented a storage system that lets you search for a specific item. it’s called the googler because it’s basically a search engine.

he is an absolute NERD (/aff) and insanely smart

he is genuinely kind to his friends, and has a very sweet yet mischievous demeanor. though, even his friends will call him mysterious

he’s canadian so like… arctic/antarctic solidarity… right?

he has spent many many MANY years perfecting a PVP arena game called Battle Bane. look it up. it’s insane.

actually, all the minigames he’s made are pretty insane. and most of them involve death. i mean. he had one called Hurtin’ Hermits where the whole goal was to kill the other hermits as much as possible and enact chaos

I could go on and on about Etho and what he’s like. HOWEVER. I think it’s more interesting to tell you how he’s portrayed by the fandom.

etho tends to be portrayed as a quiet, broody, mysterious guy despite actually being a bit of a goofball

he’s drawn not as kakashi naruto, but more often, a hot twink that can range from sad puppy to sexy dude covered in blood in the span of a single post

some people headcanon him to be as old as the universe, and tied to the void

he has multiple popular animal traits, from catboy to bunny to most commonly arctic fox

there’s etho titty tuesday. there’s. i mean. there’s etho titty tuesday.

i mean really, just… go into the ethoslab tag and you can see all the ways he’s portrayed.

And if that’s not convincing enough, here are some things he’s done in canon to hopefully sway you.

in season 7 of hermitcraft, he had a shop called Shade-E-E’s, where people could sign other people up to basically get harassed (/lh) by Etho’s shenanigans. “Free Glass” meant panes of light grey glass hidden in all your chests so you couldn’t put things into the chest. “Gardening” meant beehives hidden throughout your base so you would hear buzzing at random. “Pest Relocation” meant spawning endermites in your home.

also in season 7, he had the shop Sneak-E-E’s, which was a secret popup shop where he undercut prices or sold rare item overstock. you could only buy while it existed, and only when you could find it. the first time it was built was up in the sky, all out of shulker boxes so it wouldn’t render in until you got close. the second time was in the unused floor of Mayor GoodTimesWithScar’s shop. scar had no idea for. a while.

in last life, he scammed scar out of a life to give to bdubs, and then promptly killed scar and stole the enchanter. oh yeah, he did it with a fishing rod, too.

in season 9, he moved into bdubs’ basement without telling bdubs

in season 9, he also started late. so, in order to catch up, he exiled himself to a place untouched by the other hermits and wouldn’t let himself come back until he was able to defeat a full raid on his own. it didn’t take him long.

in double life, he and joel were paired, and were the most chaotic duo on the server. they hunted people for sport (notably, grian and scar) and burned things down for fun. “the ship burns everything burns” chanted as they set the entire map on fire

in last life, he went around trying to intimidate people into giving him gifts and he would spare their life. pretty much everyone was instantly afraid of him.

actually, most of the hermits are pretty intimidated by etho. including goodtimeswithscar.

also, most of the hermits are ethogirls.

etho and scar end up on opposing sides in pretty much everything, especially the life series (which is a funky lil hardcore battle royale). they are traditionally enemies. they pick fights with each other for fun.

If you want vengeance for Technoblade— blood for the blood god— vote Ethoslab.

Sincerely, Ethogirls

[sophsicle]

Soph I love you but Taylor Swift does not “make herself the victim” there’s so much valid shit that has happened to her for us to feel that way about her, which most of her fans honestly don’t even see her as - granted there as some obnoxious ones but that goes for all fandoms.

Like for example of the experiences I was talking about.

- being sexually assaulted and then being called “greedy” for suing the guy.

- being painted as a “snake” because she didn’t react well to someone writing a misogynistic song about it. Which I feel like is a valid reaction as a woman in entertainment.

- being groomed at 19 by a 30+ something year old.

- getting called a snake worldwide for a narrative that 2 people - who were more famous than her at the time invented.

- being bodyshamed constantly when she had an eating disorder

Yes she’s privileged and has always been, coming from money and having fame, but she does not portray herself as the “victim” and the fact that people think she does just for standing up for herself makes me sad, not because of her but because being a woman myself it just paints the picture that women’s pain or experiences will always be brushed under the rug because we’re classified as “dramatic” and “we should take it with more grace” “be thankful about the good things” like??

I understand that you don’t like her but that assessment just seems wrong.

like i just. you realize you're proving my point right? like this - not just this message, but all of the ones i've gotten where people are waxing poetic about all of the struggles taylor swift has had and how she is absolutely a victim and how dare i suggest otherwise - is exactly what i'm talking about. you feel the need to jump down the throat of anyone who says anything remotely negative about her. this is the whole "victim" narrative, that she is vulnerable and must be protected and defended from all negativity at all times at all costs.

and like. that is on purpose. she has cultivated that narrative for this reason. so that publications are now afraid to post reviews of her albums with bylines because their journalists are getting death threats if they criticize her.

i am not suggesting that taylor swift has never had anything bad ever happen to her. that would be insane. i am trying to say that this culture that has been cultivated within her fanbase of defending and protecting her, is extreme and irrational. and when you don't buy into it, it makes a lot of the content surrounding taylor swift very hard to swallow.

[ropes3amthoughts]

I always talk about how much I love Kabru, but I do have some issues with him, specifically regarding his portrayal in both fanon and canon. I went on this huge messy rant earlier to my friends, which I tried to clean up and share here. Sorry if this is like nonsensical or messy. Even though I’m not half asleep (like I usually am when ranting about him lmao), I’m not the most clear when it comes to expressing my thoughts and feelings. I just felt like sharing all this because he’s really taking up space in my brain lmao. I put some images at the bottom so that they would provide helpful visuals but not be disruptive to the overall text, they will have corresponded asterisks (*) to show what part of the rant they refer to.

I would like to start this off with the disclaimer that I do NOT think I understand Kabru better than everybody else (like this is not an “all of you guys are portraying him so bad and nobody gets him like I do and I’m a better author than Ryoko Kui herself” this is more like an “I’ve noticed some things and it kind of bothered me so I felt like talking about it”), I am not transmasc or a transman, and I am not South Asian, so if anything I’m saying is straight up wrong you can tell me. I’m not always the brightest, so feel free to be completely honest and blunt with me, especially if I say something blatantly wrong, inappropriate, or anything like that.

With fandom portrayals, this may be a bit controversial but I have some mixed feelings towards the headcanon of Kabru being transmasc/a transman. I don’t at all hate the transmasc Kabru headcanon, in fact I like transmasc Kabru and think there are plenty of valid reasons to headcanon that, for example: “Kabru isn’t his original name” or “He used to wear a skirt as a child” or “I’m trans and I see some of my experiences in Kabru.” I understand why many people would see him that way, and I don’t at all think it is completely unrealistic or out of character if people to treat him as such. It sometimes makes me feel iffy, however, due to the way some people perceive him.

I feel like a lot of people see Kabru as gender non-confirming/gender neutral, looking like a butch lesbian, or even feminine, when there really isn’t anything indicating this is the case. I feel as if a handful of people headcanon him to be a transman/transmasc due to the fact they perceive him this way, as less masculine/gender neutral/feminine. Again, transman Kabru is not some inherently bad and evil headcanon, but I think the reason it’s so popular is because many people don’t really see Kabru as a “proper” man, which is in part due to racism and transphobia. This is not claiming all people who like the transmasc/transman Kabru headcanon are racist and transphobic by the way, I’m just saying that due to the racist and transphobic biases of some, this headcanon is a lot more appealing than it would be if it were another character being headcanoned this way. This isn’t at all about every single person who has this headcanon, since, like I said in the paragraph before, there are many understandable reasons as to why someone would see him this way, but it really seems to me that since Kabru has like 1 centimeter long eyelashes, he’s a bit shorter than average, and he’s not white, there are some people who don’t really see him as fully masculine, they don’t really see him as a male character, and because of that, they headcanon him as a transman or transmasculine.

I think the way people see him as less masculine absolutely has to do with his race. I’ve seen so many people talk about how WOC, often black women, are perceived as masculine and how MOC, particularly Asian men, are perceived as feminine because they don’t fit the like euro centric standards or whatever they’re called I’m not a professional essayist. What I basically mean is POC are often perceived as feminine or masculine solely due to their racial characteristics that don’t adhere to white standards. I definitely think that being a South Asian man plays into how people perceive Kabru as less masculine. If he was white, would as many people think of him as gnc or fem or transmasc? I personally don’t think so because of the much fewer trans headcanons I have seen for any of the other characters.

I’ve seen a handful of trans headcanons for other characters, mainly Laios being transfem and a little bit of Falin being transmasc, Chilchuck being transmasc, and Izutsumi being non-binary, but none of them are anywhere near as popular as the transmasc Kabru headcanon. Another thing that has me raising my eyebrows is which characters people do and don’t headcanon to be transgender. For example, I’ve seen so many people talk about how Senshi has feminine qualities to him, but I’ve never seen anybody talk about how they think Senshi is trans because of those qualities. In fact, I think I have only seen like one person headcanon Senshi to be trans at all, which is very different than the maybe fifty people I’ve seen headcanon Kabru to be trans. It just makes me wonder why people never headcanon Senshi as trans in contrast to a character like Kabru. Is it because Senshi has a full beard and, despite the several feminine qualities to him that people like to point out, he’s overall perceived as masculine and people only see transman as feminine men-like people? Is it because people feel confident in Senshi’s identity as a man, so there’s no way he could be a transman, but with someone like Kabru he is seen as less manly, so it’s easier to label him as trans? Is it because Senshi’s skin tone is lighter, it makes it easier for people to see him as a “real” man?

You don’t have to see Senshi as trans or anything, I just noticed that Senshi is one of the characters who is headcanoned to be trans the least where Kabru is on the other side of the spectrum and I think it has to do with how people see trans people as not quite men. I think when people see Senshi with his (white) masculine looks, they see him as a “real” and “normal” man, but they see Kabru and think “he looks like a butch girl,” so they headcanon Kabru as trans masculine, but not Senshi because people seem to have some assumption that transmen aren’t “really” men, despite the fact that there are many very masculine transmen out there. Transmen aren’t some quirky little afabs who aren’t really men, they aren’t some sort of better man because they grew up being labeled as a girl. They are men, they are capable of being and looking masculine and they are capable of falling victim to the same harmful thought patterns and behavioral patterns as cismen. Transmen are men and should be regarded as such, not as feminine men-like people, which is why it really irks me with some people headcanon Kabru as a transman because they thought he was a butch lesbian or feminine or anything like that.

Sorry if this sounds angry and accusatory, it just feels like some people think Kabru is trans because they don’t see him as masculine because he isn’t white and also they don’t see transmen as real men. I just really get the feeling sometimes that some people see him as less masculine because he’s Asian and because he’s seen as less masculine it’s easier to put the label of transman on him since so many people tend to think transman are just men-like and not “real” men, or that by applying the label of trans masculine to Kabru, it makes it easier to justify the racial biases that make some people perceive him as feminine because “oh he’s not a girl, he’s just trans” when the reason they see him as girly in the first place is because of his race and the trans headcanon is only being applied because people see him as looking like a girl. Like not only do some people have these subconscious racial biases, they are validating them by applying a weird view of transmasculinity where they see transmen as non masculine men. It just really bugs me to see Kabru be perceived as transmasc because people see him as fem/gn/not quite masculine/man-like or just seeing people perceive him as any of those less masculine ways at all because I think it’s definitely a race thing and Kabru already isn’t even that good of a portrayal of race! It’s just a bit upsetting that some fans aren’t trying to expand on his identity with race where Ryoko Kui fell short and instead perceive him as a “less masculine” transman which is a bit of a weird stereotype in terms of how it regards both Asian men and transmen. Again, not everybody headcanoning this is some malicious racist and transphobe, in fact I think a lot of it is unintentional, but I think those biases definitely affect the way some people perceive Kabru.

More on the topic of Kabru not being a good portrayal of whatever South Asian race he’s supposed to be in canon, I don’t think Kabru is good representation from a racial standpoint (sorry for the sudden topic change). I love his character so much and he is well written from a strictly character lens, and he isn’t at all bad representation or anything like that, but if you asked me for an example of good South Asian representation in media, Kabru’s name wouldn’t cross my mind. Kabru isn’t handled poorly, but he isn’t handled amazingly either.

I’ve seen some people defend how his light eyes are relevant to his backstory and yes they are, but they also never come up again and they don’t come up at all in the main story. They are relevant in his backstory, but that’s only if you read the extra content, so people who only read the manga would not even have this explanation, and they are only brought up twice (it’s mentioned to be the reason Kabru and his mother had to leave home, and it’s brought up in a mini comic as something he’s insecure about), but then it’s never brought up again. I know Ryoko Kui had a lot going on in the story, but I wish it could’ve at least been mentioned or even alluded to in the main story, like maybe even in a throw away line or whatever. Ryoko Kui does this a handful of times, for example, there was that one line about how Maizuru didn’t want Mickbell and Kuro to touch the windows because it would mess up the return spell when they returned to the surface.* Why would touching the windows disrupts the spell? It doesn’t make much sense until you read the extra content explaining that the return spell only works if the house is completely sealed off (doors, windows, etc.) and so if they opened the windows, it would break the return spell, yet Ryoko Kui still put it in the manga! I know Kabru isn’t like the main character and his feelings aren’t the focus of the story, but if Ryoko Kui could allude to and have several vague references to the worldbuilding and character aspects, like the return spell, that are only explained in more depth outside of the manga, I think she totally could’ve put some vague mention of Kabru’s eyes being “monster eyes,” or that Kabru doesn’t like his eyes, or something along those lines. That way, his eyes being light have more relevance and aren’t solely in his backstory that most people won’t even see.

I really wish there was some sort of mention of his eyes in the main manga because I don’t believe that Milsiril telling him there’s perfectly logical reasons for him having blue eyes really cured all of his negative feelings about them. His eyes were the reason he and his mom had to leave home. If he hadn’t had blue eyes his mother probably wouldn’t have been killed in the Utaya incident. Plus she was killed by monsters and Kabru’s eyes were referred to as monster eyes. I don’t think he’s never thought of the connections before, I think he probably feels guilty for his mother’s death even more than he usually would with typical survivor’s guilt. I feel like that insecurity would linger and the concept could have been expanded on more, like making even a small appearance in the main manga, because it is a really interesting bit of backstory, but it really isn’t given as much attention as it could.

Additionally, I have seen some people point out how Kabru isn’t even able to be tied to a specific culture the way several others are. I mean, it’s not a huge problem, because the majority of DunMeshi characters don’t have clear ties to culture or even last names, even a handful of the white characters, but it is a little disappointing that he doesn’t really have a clear connection when other characters are able to given he is one of the few dark skinned characters in the story, who is also rather important, especially since Ryoko Kui had several opportunities to give him a more definite real world race.

He doesn’t necessarily need to have a clear connection to his culture, and it wouldn’t really make sense if had a lot of connection with his culture since he had to leave his original home, then all the people at his second home were slaughtered, and then he had to be moved a third time to the north with the elves, but he easily could have had a more clear connection with a real world culture. It does make sense he has little ties to his original culture, given the aforementioned things and Milsiril’s desire for a proper mother-son relationship between herself and Kabru, despite not properly seeing eye to eye with him, definitely prevented him from being in tune with his culture as he could have been, like in the hometown sweets comic. In the comic, Kabru is going to talk about his hometown sweet, rasgulla, but Milsiril is upset he doesn’t consider elf cake to be his hometown dish, since it implies he doesn’t consider her home to be his home, so he instead embraces elf cake as the dish he talks about to appease her. Back on the topic of real world connections, If Ryoko Kui had let Kabru say like one or two more words before being cut off, she could have easily tied him to a specific place.** Based on Kabru’s namesake (Kabru, a mountain bordering both India and Nepal) and cultural aspects, he’s clearly South Asian, though he seems to be specific to the same region as his namesake (India and Nepal), but it unfortunately isn’t clear. The treat Kabru was going to talk about, however, had different names depending on the region, Rasgulla in India and Rasburi in Nepal, so depending on which name Kabru used for it, Ryoko Kui could’ve confirmed exactly which place of origin he’s meant to be from, but she did not. I’m just a bit disappointed that Ryoko Kui had the potential to tie him to a specific country, but didn’t.

I feel like Kabru could’ve had a little more cultural aspects in general, especially when compared to other characters. For example, Marcille is clearly meant to be Italian. She never says “I’m Italian” but people can easily infer it by her hometown dish because Ryoko Kui is specific with her hometown dish. When Izutsumi asks if Laios and Senshi made the right thing, she lists examples of Italian dishes, and their are even little images are provided.*** Like I said earlier, the treat from Kabru’s hometown could’ve been named, but Kabru also has a moment where he talks about a dish from his hometown: lamb stew, however Ryoko Kui doesn’t go into any specifics about it! She could’ve made Kabru list some of the ingredients that were missing from the lamb stew, or show a small visual, like a flashback or Kabru visualizing what the dish would look like, similar to the way visuals were provided by Izutsumi when talking about Marcille’s hometown dish, to help give a better idea as to what exactly Kabru’s mother made for him and to help pinpoint where he’s from, but Ryoko Kui did not do that. She could’ve even given it a more specific name, like how Izutsumi lists specifically Italian named dishes when on the topic of Marcille’s hometown dish, but Ryoko Kui did not do that either, leaving only a vague hometown sweet and a vague lamb stew that didn’t even have the proper ingredients. I don’t think Kabru was a character Ryoko Kui made carelessly, I think she definitely put a lot of care into crafting his character, but I think she could have put a little more care into his race. I just think there could’ve been a little more specific details to things like the hometown dishes or Kabru’s Utaya flashbacks could’ve had more specific architecture, outfits, monsters (yes, even monsters, since those can have inspirations from certain cultures, like with the Eastern Dragon), etc. that would indicate the exact region/culture he’s meant to be from. I think Ryoko Kui could’ve easily confirmed whether he was Indian or Nepali with just a few more specific details and I can’t help but be disappointed that she didn’t.

I don’t at all think Kabru is some egregious racist orientalist caricature or anything like that, but I do think Ryoko Kui could’ve made him a little more specific to a certain culture rather than leaving him ambiguous to a certain region. I also think she could’ve made his eyes have a more prevalent reason to be light and not have just it as a backstory thing that never comes up in the manga. Kabru really isn’t a bad character in terms of character writing or race, he I think he just isn’t that good representation of whatever culture he’s meant to represent, since he is somewhat vague South Asian representation and not firmly Indian or Nepali, when characters like Toshiro are clearly Japanese.

Ok, I’m kind of sidetracked at this point, but I have so many feelings about a ton of different subjects. This kind of switches over to race in Dungeon Meshi in general. This is a bit of a messy paragraph, but I wasn’t quite sure how to word it better. I think Ryoko Kui could’ve drawn him with more idk the word prominent(?) features? Idk how to describe it that well but like he’s meant to have visible lips, and they appear sometimes, but not that often. Also, his hair really isn’t that curly. Ryoko Kui definitely changed the way she drew him over time, but his hair isn’t like curly-curly isn’t like semi-curly like it definitely isn’t straight but it isn’t really curly y’know what I mean?

I wish Ryoko Kui could’ve done a little more with her representation in general because while she does have representation it isn’t that good. It’s not bad by any means, and her work is a lot more diverse than many others, but her representation isn’t the best is what I mean. I saw a rant about it, which did a way better job of putting this into intelligible words than I could, about how Ryoko Kui has surface level representation, with very few dark skin characters, almost all of them being side characters, the only plus sized characters being the Orcs, who are pig-like Demi-humans, and the only canonical queer character (Otta, who’s butch and sapphic) being a side character who is also perceived as a pedo and she’s a human trafficker. I think these are valid to be upset about because while Ryoko Kui does have more representation than most, a lot of it definitely could’ve been handled better. I can’t remember if the person said this, but I want to complain about hair some more about hair. Cithis is meant to be black, right? Her hair is totally straight, and there are black people with straight hair, but I wish she had a different hair type, given that she is like the only black character in Dungeon Meshi (I’m unsure what Thistle, Kaka, and Kiki are supposed to be, and I don’t think the elves with obsidian skin count, but I’m pretty sure Cithis is meant to be a black girl). I know she’s an elf and they have some oddities to their appearances, like the obsidian skin, but like could Cithis have at least gotten a some hair texture or a neat hair style 💔 maybe I’m just being a whiny little baby but I would’ve loved to see some more diversity with hair types, especially since hair is important with its ties to magic and such.

I do really love Dungeon Meshi and it is more diverse than most things but it’s like flawed? Y’know? I mean I don’t expect it to be perfect but I wish it was handled better especially with Kabru (lmao finally circling back to him here) because I do love him so much and I wish there was just some more thought put into the specifics of his race and such. I do think Dungeon Meshi is an incredible work, but I think it is lacking in several areas, especially when it comes to characters of color like Kabru.

TLDR: I think some fans think Kabru is effeminate due to his identity as an Asian man and their subconscious racial biases and, because they see him as effeminate, they tend to headcanon him as a transman or transmasc. These fans also don’t see transmen as real men, but rather as man-like/feminine men/butch women, which is why they associate it with Kabru, whom they perceive similarly. More on his identity as an Asian man, Ryoko Kui gives us good stuff, but not as good as it could’ve been, so Kabru, though he isn’t bad representation, isn’t very good South Asian representation due to the lack of clarity regarding his real world race. Ryoko Kui is actually a bit lackluster with all of her representation, which is a huge shame since I love Dungeon Meshi and Kabru’s character. I think if she put in a bit more detail into things like Kabru’s hometown food and put Kabru’s reason for having light eyes directly into the manga, even if it is just a throw away line, Kabru could’ve been a lot better in terms of the way his race is handled, since it isn’t even clear whether he is Indian or Nepali, just South Asian in general. Sorry that this summary is so long I am trying to condense like twenty paragraphs into just one.

Sorry for this absolute yapfest lmao. I have a ton of thoughts about Kabru, the way he’s portrayed in fanon, the way Ryoko Kui writes him, and the way race is treated in Dungeon Meshi as a whole. Again, if you have any critiques for my rant feel free to share! Thanks to anybody who actually reads this whole thing! I’d be happy to hear your thoughts about it!

* This is explained a little, but you don’t really understand why windows mess up the spell until you read the extra info on it. Kabru easily could’ve had a small reference to his eyes that are only properly expanded on in outside content, similarly to this example here.

** Demonstration of how putting a few more words could’ve easily given Kabru a clear connection to real world culture instead of leaving it vague.

*** Italian dishes are named and visually shown for Marcille’s hometown dish. Meanwhile Kabru’s memories of the dish, the ingredients of the dish, and what the dish was meant to look like were not provided/gone into detail. A missed opportunity 💔

[crazylittlejester]

This might get venty so def pass over if u want- I apologize in advance😅

Being a Wars fan is definitely exhausting in the lu fandom as a whole, to a degree I’ve never experienced in past fandoms. I’ve been all around, from DC to HP, Undertale to Voltron (shudders), and many, many more. And honestly I can’t remember a time a character was more universally disliked for,, no clear reason? From villains to irritating characters, I’ve never seen this much negativity and, honestly, near bullying of a character. Shipping wars? 10000% yes. But individual character hating? It’s.. extreme.

It isn’t simple dislike either. From being made incompetent to being the butt of a joke, Wars is just.. dogpiled. And at first it was funny, but it’s gotten to a point that I can’t read other fics because Wars is just so poorly treated/portrayed that it’s disheartening. From mocking of his figure, to claiming he’s vain or a womanizer (derogatory), and even ignoring his background all together.

I think part of it comes from not knowing his game, so they don’t have a basis of his character. Honestly though that could be easily remedied by watching a few cutscenes or reading the plot synopsis of his game. I also think that some people just,, look at his vainer moments in the comic and say “this is all he is” rather than the additional moments when he displays his skills, or pulling his weight as a co-leader. Some people just see what they wanna see ig.

Overall I always try to not dwell on it because everyone is free to love the characters they love and express that, I just wish that it didn’t come at the cost of one of the characters being so plainly disliked and nearly hated. But I swear I’ve seen Dink get more love than Wars, and all we’ve seen from him is a freaking lizard!!!-

anyway, sorry this was so long, my Wars loving self has been holding this in for awhile and I just hate how short a stick Wars got in the lot. He 1000% deserves more love fr

I’ve seen too many fics where people outright villainize Wars in order to create more angst for other members of the chain and that’s INSANE to me. And Wars content has been seriously hard to find, especially last year, which is part of why I started writing so much Wars stuff 😭 He’s my favorite and I gotta feed the other Wars fans

I genuinely don’t get why some people actively dislike him, like am I biased? Absolutely. but i just dont understand?? is there some reason why people can look at like, Wild, for example, and go “OH MY GOD SO ACTUALLY-“ and go into a super deep beautiful well written character analysis but when it comes to Wars people are just like “womanizer twink” and that’s it?

(to clarify: this is NOT a dig at Wild fans, y’all are valid for liking your blorbo. I’m just using him as an example because I’ve seen a lot of really interesting takes on him, some of which are VERY different from each other. And there’s nothing wrong with that at all! He was just the first Link I thought of who has a lot of fans with a lot of theories and opinions alskljskslm. Y’all keep going crazy for your special guy 🫡)

[tommykinrd]

Serious question, no hate or anything but why are so many people convinced that Ryan and Oliver would love for buddie to happen? Because everything they said sounds quite like the opposite, especially from Ryan. He said the same thing since 2019, he wants to portray this vulnerable, close, platonic friendship/bromance without it turning romantic. He also said he doesn’t even see or play Eddie as gay. And Oliver also said he doesn’t even know if he would actually want it to happen. Which means he doesn’t even think about it actually happening. Sure they love the (non toxic) fans and their love for the characters but I really don’t think they’re dying for buddie to happen. They always say they’re open to it if that’s what Tim decides and if it doesn’t come off as fanservice. But they know exactly it could never be anything but fanservice if it happens. And even if they absolutely wouldn’t want it to happen, they couldn’t say it or else they get called homophobic. So what is it that makes people believe they want Buddie to be canon?

Okay so I'm gonna answer assuming this was sent in good faith, but I really don't like the putting of words in people's mouths and also this extremism re: :they never said that", "this will never happen", etc.

I can only speak for myself, not for anyone else in fandom and definitely not for Ryan or Oliver since I don't know these people personally and I can only assume that you don't either. And as much as we joke about them being unhinged and out of PR jail and whatever, we have to remember these people are professionals who have been in the industry a long time and know how to interact with journalists and press because it's their job. They're never going to outright confirm or deny anything, they can only speak to what material they're given in the moment. As of right now, buddie is a vulnerable, close, platonic friendship. Neither of them have any reason to suggest otherwise. Also please remember that they are actors, they don't write for the show, yes they can offer input into the storylines but they cannot definitively change the trajectory of the show. Sorry anon, but Ryan and Oliver saying that they don't know the future of buddie does not mean they "don't even think about it happening". You don't know what they think, I don't know what they think, so let's stop with these extreme assumptions.

Also "they're not dying for buddie to happen"? I never said that they were. I said that from everything I've seen, I can tell that Ryan and Oliver know their characters and love their characters better than anyone in this fandom ever could. And understanding and loving Eddie means knowing the full depth of how much he loves Buck, whether that be platonic or romantic or some secret third thing. Same goes for Buck. I think if it goes the romantic route, Ryan and Oliver would have a blast getting to explore and portray another aspect to the buddie dynamic. If it doesn't go there, I think they would still knock it out of the park with how they portray a very important relationship in these characters lives, and I think they would still have a blast with it, like they've been doing this whole time. But again, I don't know them and I could be wrong, I'm just going off of the bare minimum info I have.

As for "they know it could never be anything but fanservice", did they tell you that? I've seen time and time again how this show surpasses expectations, I for one did not want an Eddie cheating with Shannon's doppleganger arc when it was speculation, but the show surprised me with how much I liked the way they did it. Same goes for buddie, if you think it can only ever be fanservice, just give them a chance to maybe surprise you. Ryan and Oliver are gonna get shit on no matter what they say in interviews. If they talk about buddie too much and hint about it being romantic, they're going to get accused of queerbaiting. If they don't talk about buddie at all or keep emphasizing that buddie is platonic, they're going to be called homophobic. It's a lose lose situation.

And another thing? Interviews are not word of god. This fandom (and any fandom) needs to stop placing so much weight on them. They're a fun behind the scenes look into the conversations and decisions surrounding different scenes and storylines, but that's it. Personally, I don't care what Ryan or Oliver might feel about buddie. It's fun seeing them be supportive of it, sure, but they could outright say that it was never going to happen and I wouldn't care, because they're not the writers or showrunners, what they say in an interview has no impact on the show. A lot of people weren't there or have forgotten when Tim made comments about how much he loved Taylor Kelly and wanted to pursue more journalist storylines, or when he said Eddie would have no PTSD after the shooting. So even if Tim confirmed or denied buddie in an interview? It means nothing bc it didn't occur in the show. We'll all find out whether Ryan and Oliver wanted buddie to happen or not if/when it does happen, or when the show ends. Until then just stay along for the ride or hop off if you're not having a good time.

[starmo]

hey! Big fan of your BTTF fics! I only recently got (back) into BTTF, but it seems you’ve been here for a few years, plus you’re an nsfw author in this fandom, so I was wondering if you might have some insight on why Mammett is practically the only ship with lots of nsfw material? The only straight ships I’ve seen is Marty/Lorraine or Marty/OC. Why no Marty/Jennifer, or George/Lorraine, or even Doc/Clara? I want some nsfw Marty/Jennifer so bad and can’t find it anywhere! Did it ever exist? Was it deleted? Hope you don’t mind the random horny. Just curious and want someone to ask/rant to, one BTTF fan to another :)

Hey there! Thanks for your inquiry! I am so glad to hear that you're a fan of my work! 😄

I actually haven't any clue as to why mammett recieves more attention from NSFW creators. Believe it or not, this surprisingly comes as a shock to me!

Though my allegiance is sworn to mammett (😂), I had been under the impression that it was the least popular of the ships typically associated w/ BTTF, on account of it's... divisiveness? For lack of a better term.

Though, if I were to reckon a guess as to why it's so beloved by degenerates (jk) like myself, I'd say it has just as much to do with the taboo nature of their relationship as hating mammett for it is!

Which is exactly why it doesn't surprise me that one of the only heteronormative ships from BTTF that recieves an abundance of attention is Lorraine x Marty.

Like mammett, Lorraine x Marty involves two individuals whose sexual/romantic relationship would be met with disapproval (because, y'know, incest), which just makes for a fun jaunt when it comes to writing smut fic. The juicier and more depraved, the better!

Aside from that, though there are many other reasons as to why I (and likely many others) are attached to Doc x Marty--I think a major contributing factor to the abundant creation of NSFW mammett fic is the fact that much of what we see of their on-screen interactions (of the physical variety, especially) is interlaced w/ homoerotic subtext, albeit (likely) unintentionally.

That and taking their age gap into account, and the time in which BTTF is set, when homosexuality was still HIGHLY frowned upon, it kind of makes for a deliciously provocative "torrid love affair" type deal.

And, I (personally) am also very much attracted to both Christopher Lloyd and Michael J Fox (hence why I've so many rarepairs involving their characters 😂) which only adds fuel to the "I want to see them bang" fire.

In summary, Doc and Marty tick off all the boxes for somebody like me (in both a "omg, my otp, I wanna cry, I love them so much!!" type way, and a "I want to see Doc absolutely DESTROY Marty" type way). I imagine people must feel similarly about ships like Lorraine x Marty, George x Marty, etc.

I guess the more canon-typical ships like Jennifer x Marty and Clara x Doc haven't as much allure to NSFW writers on account of the fact that they'e likely considered to be "vanilla"? Though I can only speculate on that.

As for your frustrations in this regard, I completely understand. Scouring the tags on ao3 or similar websites in search of at least just one fic involving a ship you're invested in, only to come up short, is one of the most infuriating things in the world.

I take similar issue w/ trans Marty vs cis Marty fics.

I am one of very few mammett fic writers who solely portray Marty as being trans, and that is largely due to the fact that as a trans man myself, I wanted to see more pre-op trans representation in smut fics; something which was virtually non-existent in the fandom prior to my contributions.

I also like to write smut fic for a wide variety of niche audiences; though some of the things I've written about and or plan to write about in the future aren't necessarily kinks of my own, I still want to offer something else to the fandom aside from the repetative "Doc and Marty have flowery prose gay sex in the garage" fics (not that there's anything wrong w/ those fics, but admittedly after reading about 6 or 7 of them I tend to go "but where's the pizazz??" ..."pizazz" being the nastiest shit you can conceive of, of course, lmao).

To this day one of my all-time favorite fics I've aided in the creation of is the one where Marty is a gas-station attendant and he and Doc end up banging by the dumpster in the back alleyway behind Marty's workplace.

Not only is it deliciously, viscerally filthy, but they (being Doc and Marty) are also still very much themselves; their affection and fondness for one another knows no bounds, and thus doesn't feel out of place even in a fic involving watersports, armpit licking and non-con kink.

Perhaps now that I know there is an audience for it, in the form of, at least, you, I could try my hand at writing some Jennifer x Marty or Clara x Doc fics!

I've only two WIPS as of right now that involve a Jennifer x Marty sex scene (sorta...); that being a fic in which Jennifer is present when an experiment involving some chemicals (of the horny variety) goes awry and Doc is in dire need of uh... relief--and a sequel fic to Nocturnal Emissions that immediately begins with Jennifer eating Marty out.

These are two fics that I hope to complete and upload at some point, but in the meantime, if you're curious (and/or would like to talk more about mammett/BTTF in general) feel free to DM me and I'd be more than happy to share what I've written for these fics w/ you! 😄

[jinxhallows]

I searched it but couldn't find anything about it, but why are you only including 5 member for kinktober?

ayee thanks for stopping by to ask! nobody has ever asked so I never explained 😂 so I got into writing in this fandom like about a year and a half ago and had no idea what I was doing and kinda just spat some shit out (that I now absolutely hate lmfao 100 follower special, anyone? That fluff was garbage IMO)

I don’t write Felix often/at all because I can’t quite understand his personality enough to feel I can articulate him authentically in writing yet. Also he’s kind of juvenile in a way that reminds me of a younger sibling, making it tough to slut him out. I’m always so impressed by smut Felix writers. They capture him well! I know something freaky is lying under that golden exterior. But I’m working on it! I write about him in my other two full length fics but unfortunately, I don’t think my portrayal of him is very accurate at all. But I keep going because well, it’s already started lol.

I don’t write Seungmin yet because I’m still learning about him and his likes/dislikes and mannerisms and personality. He’s the one I know the least about. All I know is that folx call him a puppy. I don’t think I’ve heard him speak as much as I have in the recent chuseok specials. I know he’s a little terror though, lol, unsure of the origins of it though.

I don’t write IN for the same reasons as above, but lately, he’s been portrayed in a way that’s making me consider roping him in the future into something fun. Someone who met him in person said he seemed the most masculine and adult out of all the members! Surprise surprise! The baby bread shit was off putting. I was like, I’m not slutting out someone with the nickname “baby bread”; but my mind is changing, and fast lol.

-

Why do I write the fellas I write? Aka my “starting team”?

I’m most comfortable writing Chan, he’s closest to me in age and I watch him enough to know his mannerisms and personality. Down to little things like his obsession with space, the way he laughs through his teeth, and his lopsided smile when he’s being a dork. Chan doesn’t like coffee, so in one of my imagines, I made it a point to state the reader was making coffee for herself. If I read someone who has Chan drinking coffee I’d assume they either took creative liberty or have no idea that this man does not fuck with coffee lol. Fun fact: add “yeah?” To the end of a question/statement and it immediately rings Chan’s voice in your mind, doesn’t it? “Guess you’ve got a lot to think about then, yeah?” “How about we head on out to the bar, yeah?”Those details really can make/break someone’s immersion!

Next comes Hyunjin. Hyunjin was difficult for me to write at first, his personality is so multi faceted and not much like his stage persona at all, which is quite powerful! But the algorithm started forcing him onto me in candid situations and I began to understand his nuances too. I grasped an understanding of his micro expressions and mannerisms enough to feel confident writing him.

Third is Lino! I swore against writing Lino because he was such a mystery to me! I later found a video of him being weird and his quirky personality and deadpan affect when saying certain things. He reminds me of some of my closest friends. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t give Lino enough depth! I’m an experienced Scorpio wrangler, and I know he’s got some intense depths to that ocean that can be portrayed so much better. Working on it!

Fourth favorite is Jisung. I use Jisung for light hearted things and comic relief. I almost never write angst Jisung. I probably could, and probably will one day! But for now, I’ve only candidly seen him happy and funny, it’s sometimes hard to even write him in smut because I can’t see him taking much of anything seriously. I know he has bad anxiety and other various mental health concerns, so he’s not all rainbows and butterflies but he doesn’t seem to let folx in on that side of him often, if at all, so it’s difficult to imagine for me right now, so for him, I keep it light.

Fifth newest favorite is Changbin. Changbin is still a little confusing to me but I can at least pinpoint his manner of speech, he can be quite aggressive quite suddenly, in a playful manner. I’m still not too great on describing his mannerisms in literature, but I’ve grown comfortable enough to experiment with him for Kinktober.

-

So you see, my cool beautiful anon, it’s just a matter of time until I work my way down to the rest of the members :) at first, I swore I’d only write Chan, and then it exploded into five. I’m certain by next year’s kinktober, all eight members will be rightfully represented :)

[muffinrecord]

I keep reading that Himena is mentally ill, but I don’t know enough about her to actually see that. How does… her mental thing come across like that? I don’t know how to ask this.

I don't know enough about Himena to really give an answer on this-- I have a basic, broad understanding but not enough to go into true depth.

I can't point to a specific mental illness or even confirm that she actually has one, but I think one can absolutely read her as having one the same way you can for someone like Juri.

Her thing is that her boyfriend, Hiko, committed suicide after intense bullying-- it was partially based on their relationship because the two were so different (it was like a Romeo and Juliet thing, sort of?). If I recall correctly, Hiko did not want to be saved. Himena therefor made this her wish after his death: “Make it so that Hiko and I can be together within me.”

Now Hiko lives inside her head as a voice that only she can hear. It's confirmed through Kanagi (again, if I recall this correctly) that he does actually exist in there.

Of course, this means that very few people who aren't magical girls with knowledge of wishes and magic are not going to believe her. And this really frustrates and hurts Himena in return. Her reality is questioned and disbelieved. People don't try to understand her. She feels like her love is not allowed and she wants to change that. She also wants to support her new friends that seem to be suffering quite a bit.

Just based on the little I've seen of her, I do wonder if she has something else going on beyond the possible symbolism of having a dead boyfriend's voice inside her head. She takes rejection very personally and seems to be hurt by it more deeply than others, she seems to swing between emotions quickly, and she's got some interesting internal logic going on regarding morality and such.

How much of that is thanks to the trauma of her boyfriend committing suicide and then the subsequent consequence of having him inside her head, her age, and to an actual mental illness is up for debate. Also, I'm not sure what kind of guy Hiko was/is. It's possible he's a negative influence in there just as much as he can be a comforting one.

The way that Himena reacts to people around her, particularly her mom, can also feel very real and symbolic in terms of mental illness. I think it can be absolutely argued that one reason she takes some of her worst actions is a lack of support and love around her. Obviously the bullying was bad, but the lack of attempt at understanding and compassion hurt her too. "Hurt people hurt people" and all that.

As for how it comes across... this is arguable, but this is my personal opinion for what little I know. I don't think that Himena is a bad person or portrayed as such (VERY DEBATEABLE IN THE FANDOM). I think she went through something horribly traumatic and then found support in a very bad way-- I'm not just talking about Hiko living in her head rent-free, but also her new "friends" (aka Neo-Magius) that give her motivation to push herself to massive extremes. It's notable that Himena is only fourteen years old too. I think a lot of her actions can be explained as a consequence of giving a young teenager too much power, too much responsibility, and not reconciling their traumas-- couple that with no oversight and I'm not surprised that things ended up as bad as they did.

Again, I don't know too much about her beyond vague summaries and what I've seen in events. So take it all with a grain of salt.

(Neo-magius isn't really my thing, they're easily my least favorite faction, so them and their characters aren't my wheelhouse.)

Other folks, please feel free to correct me if I got something wrong, or chime in with your own opinion!

[captain-hen]

I’ve always thought there was a (hopefully) accidental contradiction that happens in some buddie fic, even in fic that I otherwise enjoy, where the writer has a very “Buck doesn’t have to be anyone for anybody, he doesn’t have to be of service or value to earn love, he should be loved just as a person” message while also having Eddie’s internal monologue connecting his love to Buck to the things he does for him, like introducing him to Carla or “helping around the house” or co-parenting Chris to whatever degree the story portrays that. And also just completely disregarding or skirting over anything Eddie might do for Buck or his ability to parent Christopher, as you said. Which is a missed opportunity since these are things I can see Eddie being insecure about as a single father who has faced a lot of ridicule from people like his parents. Like I’ve seen a lot of stories where Eddie is like “you’ve done so much for me, I don’t know if I deserve it,” and Buck is like “oh you gave me a family, and that’s all I want.” Which could be an interesting thing to explore if the writer wanted to delve into the characters’ insecurities feeding these ideas, but generally it’s just taken at face value as an almost ideal arrangement. In which case it still almost seems transactional. Hope I’m making sense lol.

oh yeah, definitely, i do think a lot of people fall back into this line of thinking without even realizing it. they seem to understand the whole issue with buck and wanting to be loved for who he is, not what he can do for other people...and then instantly flip around so that eddie is the one who has to—or thinks he has to—earn buck's love. but, like...buck is not keeping a tally of all the times he's helped eddie. eddie is not keeping a tally of all the times he's helped buck. that's just not how mature, healthy adult relationships work. and don't get me, wrong, buck has absolutely provided some invaluable help to eddie. but that doesn't mean eddie still isn't doing the vast majority of the work of parenting chris! lol. framing it this way also ignores a pretty big aspect of their relationship, which is that a major reason why buck is so enamoured by eddie to begin with is that he's such a devoted dad to chris. he gushes about it to maddie to the extent that she thinks he has a crush on eddie. if you're gonna flip that around and essentially portray eddie as being some deadbeat dad and buck doing all the heavy lifting, well. you're missing out on a lot of points here.

(also, this fandom has a Problem when it comes to the bigger, more obvious displays of affection as opposed to the quiet ones. eddie's constant reaffirmation and acceptance and support for buck? nothing in comparison to buck's acts of service, because those are More Obvious, and therefore More Important. this is the same fandom that tried to say that eddie loved shannon less than buck just because he reacted in a different way when she died. sigh.)

[princess-of-the-corner]

AU Idea

So, I was thinking, and the one MHA/BNHA AU I keep seeing is Izuku staying Quirkless and not getting in to UA which … bothers me? Not the premise necessarily, and not even all of them. Like, deciding to to go the Batman route, or becoming an amazing Support guy, those don’t bother me as much. Its more the surprisingly large number I’ve read where it’s portrayed as “oh, Izuku would try out and not get into the Hero Course, so gives up and becomes an office worker” and like … I admit I’m new to the fandom, but isn’t Izuku one of those Shonen protagonists that has the defining character trait of “never giving up, even when you should”?

and I’m not talking about fics where they play up the prejudice against Quirkless people to explain him not getting in. If that’s the angle you’re going for and you’re telling a good story with it, kudos. But I … kind of get the feeling that UA’s principal wouldn’t really care? About Quirk/less? Like, I sort of get the feeling he’d research Izuku and be like “Oh, this’ll be hilarious”. But most stories in the vein of “Izuku doesn’t get in”, and then we have a story about Izuku running a blog or as an accountant, end up sounding like either they don’t think Izuku could be a hero without a Quirk, or like Izuku didn’t have the drive to be a hero, which … is not the feeling I’m getting from his character?

Like, Izuku trying out and not getting into the Hero Course on the first try Quirkless, sure, fine, that I’ll believe. Especially because the tryouts are kind stacked in the favour of the more combat oriented Quirks, so even if he did have a Quirk, depending on what it was, the test might screw him over. But trying out and giving up immediately? Just because he wouldn’t get into the Hero Course? Like, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the test specifically engineered for the Hero Course kids? Like, Shinsou tries out aiming for the Hero Course and gets screwed because his Quirk isn’t as in your face, but he still gets into the school, right? He’s Gen ed, or something until the Sports Festival, when he has a better chance of displaying his abilities. You’re telling me that Izuku - analyst, insanely clever, reckless and determined - either failed the entrance exam badly enough not to get in at all, or decided that because it wasn’t the Hero Course, he wasn’t even going to try? Like, not even as Support or whatever?

Again, I’m fairly new to the fandom but it feels weird? Like, is It just me?

I think the only fic I saw of the “Izuku Doesn’t Get In” variety that I thought was decent without his character feeling weird was one where Izuku did try out and did get in, but his mom freaked out and basically forbade him from going? Like, not one of those where she becomes an abusive monster, but more supremely overprotective? Like, that was a great plot point, but they kind of didn’t do much with it. We get the feeling that their relationship is strained, and Izuku mentions not talking to his mom much, but like … it doesn’t really get explored? Granted the fic was mostly a Izuku/Shouto fic, where it was less about plot and more about them falling into bed together but it had some neat plot elements and … 

Honestly, I don’t know where I’m going with this. Just trying to get a feel for a new character by playing the “What If” Game and uncertain how “canonically” certain things would play out.

-

Oh yeah no absolutely!

Izuku is a stubborn little shit who will not give up.

Like. Within my Vigilante!AU, the reason he doesn’t go to UA isn’t giving up. He actually passes the Entrance Exam! but while the UA staff would be fine with teaching him, the Commission doesn’t really want a Quirkless Hero. After all, so much of Heroes images are in how Amazing their Quirks are and how they’re so much better than normal people and a Good Quirk = Good Hero. 

They wouldn’t want ‘just some guy’ being shown as on par with them. And if they let Izuku into UA at all, even in Gen Ed, then there’s a chance for him to enter the Sports Festival and be broadcast to the world as ‘on par’. Or even for just after-class sparring sessions where sure it’s not as widespread but people will See Him.

But yeah like. If I did a side-AU where Izuku stayed ‘Quirkless’ but got into the Gen Ed course, he’d 100% enter the Sports Festival! And considering how the event went in Canon, he didn’t actually use his Quirk until the 1v1 battles! So he’d get a lot of attention for making it to the third round without a Quirk!

It’d be a question of how well he’d do in the 1v1 battles though. His first battle is against Shinso who does have a Quirk that’s very hard to beat once he can get it going. Maybe I could have Izuku already befriend Shinso so he knows the limitations of Shinso’s Quirk and can’t be baited into responding. The fight against Shoto would probably go badly for him, but also who knows what Shoto’s mindset would be re: his own fuckery since he likely didn’t traumadump to Izuku before the fight.

[showakyonen]

MY BFS POST FINALLY GAVE ME THE MOTIVATION TO WRITE UP SOMETHING ABOUT MODERN INTERNET SEXYMEN BECAUSE IT’S HONESTLY A REALLY WEIRD PHENOMENON THAT NOT ONLY PISSES ME OFF AT TIMES, BUT JUST KINDA INTERESTS ME IN GENERAL. IN A WEIRD WAY.

THERE’S A CERTAIN GENRE OF MALE CHARACTERS THAT, WHENEVER THEY GATHER ANY SORT OF ATTENTION IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, SEEM TO ALWAYS EVENTUALLY GO THROUGH THE FOLLOWING:

1. BLOW THE FUCK UP ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND HAVE LEAGUES OF PEOPLE THIRSTING FOR THEM

2. THIRSTING BECOMES SO COMMON THAT IT OVER-SATURATES EVERY BIT AND PIECE OF CONTENT FOR THAT CHARACTER, INCLUDING THE WAY THE FANDOM PERCEIVES THEM IN GENERAL

3. CHARACTER IS REDUCED TO NOTHING BUT A ‘HOT FLIRTY DOM DADDY’, DESPITE HOWEVER THEY MAY BE PORTRAYED IN CANON. MOST OF THE TIME, CHARACTER EXHIBITS SYMPTOMS OF MENTAL ILLNESS AND/OR DISABILITY, OR A DEEPER CHARACTER ARC IN GENERAL. I THINK THIS MANAGES TO SALT THE WOUND EVEN FURTHER

(IF THE MEDIA IS UNFINISHED) 4. CHARACTER EVENTUALLY HAS MORE CONTENT RELEASE, AND ONE OF THE FOLLOWING HAPPENS:

A. IT ISN’T WHAT IS EXPECTED AT ALL. UNSURPRISINGLY, CHARACTER DOESN’T BEHAVE LIKE A SUPER SUAVE, CHARMING, HOT, TONGUE-WAGGLING FREAKAZOID WHO WANTS TO BED EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. INSTEAD, THEY BEHAVE IN A WAY THAT’S AN EXTENSION OF THEIR PERSONALITY IN PRIOR APPEARANCES.

B. NEW CONTENT OF CHARACTER IS MINOR OR EASILY MISINTERPRETED, AND THEY BLOW THE ABSOLUTE HECK UP ALL OVER AGAIN. CYCLE STARTS AT 1 AGAIN BUT ITS LIKE 3 TIMES WORSE

IT’S SOMETHING THAT I HAVE SEEN HAPPEN SO. MANY. TIMES. IN SO MANY COMMUNITIES AND FANDOMS. JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD I CAN LIST JAX, CAINE, MILKMAN (TNMN), AND PERHAPS MOST NOTABLY: WALLY DARLING.

WALLY’S TREATMENT WAS AWFUL. I DIDN’T EVER CONSIDER MYSELF A FAN OF WELCOME HOME, BUT I SURE AS HELL WAS WITNESS TO THE ABSOLUTE ABOMINATION THE FANDOM SURROUNDING HIS CHARACTER BECAME. TO SEE A CHARACTER THAT WAS VERY CLEARLY INTENDED TO BE AUTISTIC, OR AT LEAST AUTISTIC CODED, HAVE ALL OF THOSE TRAITS COMPLETELY STRIPPED FROM HIM IN FAVOR OF TURNING HIM INTO SOMETHING “SEXIER” AND EVEN PUTTING DISGUSTING CRIMINAL LABELS ONTO HIM AT TIMES WAS JUST AWFUL !!! JESUS !!!

AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO CALL THIS. BECAUSE IT ISN’T TUMBLR SEXYMANNING, AT LEAST NOT TO ME. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT LARGELY HAPPENS ON SITES LIKE TIKTOK, WHICH I DON’T EVEN PERSONALLY USE ANYMORE. IT’S A REALLY ODDLY COMPLEX THING THAT SEEMS TO ONLY HAPPEN TO MASC CHARACTERS, PROBABLY BECAUSE FEM CHARACTERS ARE EITHER SEXUALIZED THOROUGHLY WITHOUT ANY CATCHES OR JUST OSTRACIZED ENTIRELY BY LARGER FANDOM. SOMETIMES BOTH. MISOGYNY IS GREAT (READ HEAVY SARCASM)

PART OF THE REASON WHY THIS THOUGHT BOUNCES AROUND IN MY HEAD SO OFTEN IS BECAUSE I CAN SEE THIS KIND OF THING BUDDING WITH MY FAVORITE CHARACTER EVER, DARLY BOXMAN. IT’S MOST DEFINITELY HAPPENING TO HIM, JUST MORE ‘QUIETLY’ BECAUSE PINK CITY HASN’T REALLY HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO BOOM. I’M UNIRONICALLY THANKFUL FOR THIS. AND, GODDD, IT MAKES ME ANGRY. SO MUCH SO.

AND, AT THE END OF THE DAY, MAYBE THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS. CHARACTERS ARE SUBJECTIVE. HOWEVER… IF YOUR INTERPRETATION OF A CHARACTER THAT CLEARLY EXHIBITS TRAITS OF MENTAL ILLNESS, A CHARACTER THAT HAS A VERY EXTENSIVE AND ALMOST RELATABLE STORY ARC, OR A CHARACTER THAT IS LITERALLY JUST SOME GUY… IS SOME SUPER HOT AND CHARMING GENERIC NORMATIVE HUNK… I THINK I AM ALSO FREE TO THINK YOUR INTERPRETATION OF THAT CHARACTER IS DUMB AND SHOULDN’T BE INCLUDED IN NUANCED CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THE MEDIA!

BUT IUNNO. SHRUGS

I’M OMITTING PART OF THIS BECAUSE IT’S MORE PERSONAL AND NOT DIRECTLY RELATED AND I JUST WANNA YAP. YOU CAN FIND THE “DIRECTORS CUT” ON MY WEBSITE WRITINGS OR WHYV, WHENEVER I PUT IT UP.

[o-wild-west-wind]

A Biracial Reading of OFMD, ft. Iggy’s Revenge Izcourse

a.k.a. I typed out a sentence that turned into an accidental essay of meta, whoops!

Y’all…I love this fandom to pieces, but I don’t think some of you realize why not all of us love Izzy/may be critiquing him. And major disclaimer—I am in NO WAY telling anyone to stop enjoying him as a character. This is NOT an anti-Izzy post (I will go into more detail on why I in fact encourage you to keep doing so later, and to the people who are sending unsolicited hate mail to Izzy fans & haters alike: please don’t!)—I’m just tired of seeing vitriolic hate against the people writing about him as an antagonist, or critiquing his actions based on canon, or post after post of “why don’t people love Izzy like I do!!” and then aggression when people explain their honest opinions. Look: we all have our skrungly little bad guys. I get it!! I’ve got my own collection!! I too have become a consumer and enjoyer of the Izzy fanon!!! PLEASE don’t take this as an attack—I just want to provide some personal, potentially fresh context from at least one (obviously non-exhaustive) perspective for those who want to know why Izzy isn’t universally adored, and also to make a plea for a safer fandom space where we can talk about our perspectives on these fictional characters without escalating to unnecessary vitriol, especially as s2 be upon ye (bc holy shit fandom is supposed to be fun, we’re having fun and that’s an order 😤)

(Oh, and I know I’m potentially stirring the pot with this post, but this should go without saying: don’t send each other death threats. What the fuck. Nobody do this?!)

So now that the legalize is out of the way: I want to share that the reason I initially imprinted on this show—and on Ed specifically—was because I’d never seen an explicitly biracial character treated with such complexity, nuance, and grace. While our ethnic makeups are vastly different, I too am half-white & half-brown—which means we’re absolutely nothing culturally alike, but our worlds view and treat us as pretty much the same regardless. And like Ed, my dad resents my mom and my racial makeup, and is prone to what I like to call “white violence.” Not going to overshare on the internet, but let’s just say that all this compounded makes Ed feel highly relatable to me (although for legal purposes I promise I have not krakened my dad 🙃).

When I first watched the show (and honestly also until my 3rd or 4th rewatch), Izzy IMMEDIATELY made me think of my dad. He also immediately made me think of Ed’s dad. Their mannerisms, word choices, and tones of voice; the obsessive need for control; the default of violence; the gradual dehumanization until an ultimate kraken-ifying breaking point—it all read to me like an intentional parallel. A shadow of white violence following Ed around that he hasn’t been able to shake, and mirroring to him the things he fears the most, including the things he fears within himself and feels forced to become (he is half-white after all, and this is a whole other post, but tl;dr there can be a lot of baggage that comes with being half-white/half-poc in regards to grappling with your toxic relationship to that white side of yourself, and especially if your white parent was racist and/or violent). And you can claim a different reading of all of this if you want (I genuinely mean that, like I’m in favor of meta & I think it’s great to analyze these things) BUT. that does not change the fact that I felt what I felt as a result of what was portrayed on screen and combined with my lived experience. Because fictional characters are just that—fictional—and are vessels by which you can process the world; we will always bring our personal lived experiences to anything we consume, and that’s okay—that can be the point, even. Art imitates life imitates art. Interpretation is the name of the game!

(more under the cut)

So when I watch this show, it’s a helpful tool for me to process my own feelings of being victimized by the white violence that’s followed me around my whole life, as well as the ways in which I’ve rebelled against it/tried to make peace with a non-toxic version of whiteness (in parallel to the more overt theme of masculinity, which is—ding ding—inexplicably tied to whiteness and western colonialism) via chaos, love, hurt, and sometimes giving up and giving in—and in this process, Izzy is a safe target. And you know why that is? Because he’s FICTIONAL. I can feel rage towards him because he’s NOT REAL. I can better understand and process the pain I’ve felt and rarely seen societally acknowledged by watching it paralleled on screen via actors and writers who have likely also grappled with similar feelings (I mean, I genuinely have made more progress with my personal biracial trauma via this show vs. years of therapy), and if I want to assume the worst of Izzy based on my interpretation of canon to help me through this? That’s fine! Because I can’t hurt his feelings and he can’t hurt mine!! Because he’s not real!!!

And here’s why I still support the Izzy-enjoyment: I am sure that many of the people who love Izzy and defend him to the ends of the earth probably feel a similar way that I do about Ed. It’s why we get all riled up and protective of these characters, why we might take attacks on them as attacks on ourselves; recognition of the self in the form of the other, and all that. Izzy is a vessel by which to safely work through the dark feelings and the pain you’ve bottled up—and he’s a safe way to do that because he’s FICTIONAL. And that’s a beautiful thing imo!! That’s truly the beauty of art—it is what we make of it, and what we make of it helps make ourselves better. It’s good to be open to interpretation.

HOWEVER: that does not give you permission to discount my relationship to this show (as I will not discount yours), and more importantly: that does NOT give you permission to reject the notion that canonically in s1, Izzy is literally and thematically (emphasis on thematically) an antagonist who is purposefully written to cause harm that can be interpreted as a hate crime, especially to those with lived experience of homophobia/racism/ableism/bullying/etc.—and you cannot harass people about this when conversing about theories of canon. If someone sees Izzy’s dialogue as cutting, degrading, and even triggering, that’s extremely fair of them to do so—clearly Ed was written to feel it that way! Con himself has paralleled Izzy with Judas! And can interpret it all differently? Sure! But you CANNOT assume that everyone else will, and then get upset when people don’t. I can’t believe I need to spell this out about an angry white guy in a show about toxic masculinity, but if someone does not like Izzy, it is likely due to a personal history of harassment (or worse) that he is reminiscent of; by making a point to defend him to someone—even if you are well-intentioned—you are very much putting salt in a wound.

I want to take this opportunity to further emphasize some tenets of fandom in general:

you can like characters who do horrible things without needing to jump hoops to argue their morals as pure 👏

conversely, you can critique their actions and still like them (encouraged, even) 👏

you can like characters who do horrible things simply because they’re cool and hot and interesting—don’t worry, we know it’s not the same as liking people like them irl 👏

your liking a villain archetype says nothing about your own moral virtue 👏

you can like horrible characters and see reasons for why they are the way they are/view them as tragic/note sympathetic dimensions of their personality/root for them to have redemption arcs while acknowledging that said redemption arc may not have happened in canon yet and that these are implicit, not explicit, readings of canon 👏

and you can also reimagine canon and change their contexts in fan works so that they ARE morally virtuous 👏 but PLEASE just be mindful and accountable when you do this in a context where not everyone will see a character the same way as you, and where multiple of people of marginalized identities have spoken out about the harm not doing so can cause. Just be honest, sincere, and kind, listen and learn, and don’t harass people for understandably needing space from a character that symbolizes something different to them than it does to you.

Also: blocking tags or people just because they have character opinions different than yours is totally okay and does not mean anything other than “I am curating my online space to have a better time,” it’s NOT personal

And most importantly: FANDOM IS FOR FUN! This isn’t our day job! We come to fandom to decompress. Don’t ruin people’s safe spaces!!!

Like I said, I’ve grown to enjoy Izzy over time thanks to fandom and fanon, and I think it’s fantastic that fandom can have such diversity in the way it interprets canon. I can’t wait for his probable redemption arc (it will likely be a healing thing to witness for many of us) and I’m truly glad that we can all have different relationships to the same characters. But please—when some of us need Izzy to be a punching bag, just let him be a punching bag. No, it’s not homophobic and DEFINTELY not misogynistic to view him as an obstacle in Ed and Stede’s relationship (baffled by the amount of times I’ve seen this take—it’s a funny joke but if you actually think Izzy is treated the way female characters related to other mlm ships have been treated, the point is very much going whoosh). You don’t have to engage; it’s not personal. It’s not about YOUR relationship with him—it’s about MINE. Please let me feel and even discuss rage towards him when I think about episode 10. Please let me throw as many sandwiches at his head as I need to. Because I PROMISE, it won’t hurt him—because he, and none of these characters, are real; and yet we, the fans, very much are.

[potato-cerealkiller]

10 characters | 10 fandoms | 10 a negotiable number of tags

tagged by @zukoisblorbo :)

Damian Wayne. dc. i am an absolute sucker for human weapons who learn to be more than their past. the fact that his character development is imperfect and riddled with human mistakes makes me so insane. i just love that his palatability is seperate from his relative moral soundness, he isn’t a perfect abuse victim and i just love it. 10/10 he spins on my blorbo lazy susan a lot.

Bronya Zaychik. honkai impact. this was an og og fandom for me, but i do still love her. the supposed ‘lack of emotions’ she exhibits is very relatable to me as someone who probably has some form of alexithymia, the fact that she is nonetheless accepted by her friends and is portrayed as a complete human being just gets me so bad. also fits into the human weapon archetype <333.

Ranpo Edogawa. bungou stray dogs. i just adore him! similar situation to bronya where he isn’t told he has to fundamentally change himself to have a loving support system. his flippancy towards extraneous things like adult responsibilities, and his inability to understand the reasoning behind social conventions does remind me of myself at times. but as aforementioned, my favourite part of his character is probably that individuality doesn’t have to be sacrificed for success or respect! maybe i will catch up on the recent chapters some time…

Chongyun. genshin. social masking allegory and legacy character… i have a similar approach to fielding my emotions, and while I don’t have a decades long legacy to live up to, I find the way he has to navigate succession in his own way very interesting. he was also my first main, so!

Wanda Maximoff. marvel. similar thing to damian in the fact that she is an imperfect person who does not have an idyllic path to redemption and heroism. she’s messy and desperate, but that doesn’t make her undeserving. kind of love the position she’s in right now where she just has this quiet wisdom from all she’s been through. scarlet witch (2016) also has a special place in my heart for the second comic i ever read (shout out to the runaways for being the first).

Andromache. the old guard. immortals!!! love examining the impact of time on personhood, as in a ridiculously prolonged span of time, and boy is she fascinating. she’s completely jaded at this point, and only really existing rather than living. she almost becomes a product of time rather than an entity born from its passing. it’s just so interesting to see a character so entirely devoted to a cause through obligation, because what else can she do?, the only thing she remembers is how to fight.

Fushiguro Megumi. jujutsu kaisen. i love how much of a deranged mess he is. watching him have to unlearn his suicidal tendencies was so fucking interesting. he has this cool arrogance to him that makes him eminently unlikeable, but he is still a fundamentally good person at his core. for some reason my memory really failed me here? so not much to say, but I remember liking him.

Xie Lian. tgcf. innately good person despite his trauma! i love characters like this and i thought him fighting a literal manifestation of his past, more selfish self, was a fun way to signify his growth.

Homura Akemi. madoka magica. one of my childhood favourites. i watched this series at age seven and it probably severely impacted my psyche. her loneliness turned obsessive attachment and love is utterly heartbreaking to me. her unquestionable and desperate devotion to madoka is just. agghhh. the way that she needs her so intensely that she’s willing to sacrifice her personhood, the universe itself. ultimate blueprint for toxic yuri 10/10.

Boris Pavlikovsky. the goldfinch. he’s a lot of things but a mentally stable person is not one of them. i find the line he walks between total self annihilation and self preservation very interesting. he represents this kind of pseudo-eternal youth, he always commits to extremes. he doesn’t ever ‘overdo’ it but more because it would hinder his ability to live tomorrow rather than because of any adverse health effects. the fact that he is such an optimist at his core despite everything is just a fascinating contradiction.

tags if anyone wants to do this >>>> @sejaprune @calithilan @sizzlemourner @gladiikal