#Also I chose this phone because I'm pretty sure I've had it in the past. if not this exact phone one Nokia very similar to this one

[go-learn-esperanto]

And this is why everyone should've had one of these

[eddiestightywhities]

also on ao3 HERE

.

“So, I overheard this guy in the line at the coffee shop this morning talking about name meanings—”

“Of course you did,” Eddie interjects, not unkindly.

Buck turned up with beers about a half hour ago, and has had his head in his phone for the last, what, twenty minutes? Something like that.

This is the first thing he's said since Eddie let him in and he sat his ass down on the couch in silence, looking like he needed Eddie to just allow him to.

Eddie did.

“—and I thought I'd look up ours.”

He's chewing on his bottom lip like it tastes good.

Eddie surprises himself by wondering if it does.

“I'm guessing you already know what Christopher means.”

Thinking back to when Shannon asked if he liked the name, Eddie smiles.

“Means 'Bearer of Christ', or something, right? We chose it because was Shannon's grandfather's name, though. He was Greek, and she adored him.”

Searching fingers instinctively find his pendant. It's positioned to the left, sitting right over his heart.

He misses his son like he'd miss a lung.

Buck looks up at him and smiles back, and Eddie feels glad the release he'd found dancing 'round his living room earlier isn't going to suddenly disappear down the bathroom sinkhole, along with his moustache.

“So, tell me, what does Edmundo mean, oh scholarly one?”

Buck's eyebrows try to meet his hairline.

“You don't know?”

Eddie tips his head back against the couch and scrunches his mouth up into nose.

“I have sisters, man, of course I know what it means. But that doesn't mean I don't want you to tell me.”

Buck seems somewhat happy with that.

“Well, it's a derivative of the Old English name Edmund, which is a combination of the words ēad and mund. The first part means prosperity, or riches, which is a bit of a bust, sorry man,” and he tries for a grin. It almost hits.

“But the the mund part means protector—which is pretty spot on, I reckon.”

Buck's eyelashes are kind of blonde, and kind of pretty. Eddie's thought it before, but there's just something about them in this light, in Eddie's house, on Eddie's couch.

“It's actually a real pretty name, Edmundo. Don't know if I've ever told you I think that.”

“Don't think I've ever told you your eyelashes are kind of pretty, so that makes us even, I guess.”

Eddie smiles at Buck, big and genuine, and somehow it's so easy.

Buck smiles back. Looks a little confused, or pleased, or both. Eddie's not sure, but either is okay with him.

“Um, thanks?”

Eddie bites his tongue between his teeth in a poor effort to stop his grin turning positively goofy.

Buck takes it for what it is, and bats his eyelashes at Eddie, silly, and laughs.

His whole demeanor then changes as he finally settles properly into the couch and gifts his lungs with what might be the first proper breath he's taken since he arrived.

“Anyway, Evan is the worst of the three. It means yew, like the tree? Which is—it symbolises, like, spirituality, and rebirth and shit like that. 'S not really, uh, me, you know?”

“You mean like Evan isn't really you?”

Buck bites at his red, red lip again.

Eddie decides it'd taste like cherry Chupa Chups.

“Yeah. But it's—my name.”

“Except it isn't though, it's it?” Eddie reminds him. “You're name is Buck, Buck. You decided that.”

“I don't know why he always insisted on calling me Evan. Or why I just—let him. It was kind of weird.”

Tommy.

"Called? Past tense?” Eddie flips his tongue in his mouth. Breathes a little more deliberately.

Buck looks at his phone again before he's slowly placing it down on the couch between them.

His fingers are touching the outside of Eddie's thigh, and Eddie's suddenly acutely aware that he still isn't wearing any pants.

Buck leaves his hand where it is.

“He, uh, he dumped me. Because I—”

Buck sucks in oxygen, a lot of it, and holds it in his lungs before puffing out his cheeks as he makes a show of blowing it back out again.

“I asked him to move in with me.”

Eddie was not expecting either of those statements.

"Ouch.”

Buck's fingers twitch against Eddie's skin, and Eddie feels it travel right down his leg and into his toes, which curl involuntarily into the carpet.

“You wanna talk about it?” he offers, kind of knowing Buck doesn't. He will when he's ready.

“Not really.”

Eddie licks at his lips. They taste like beer, and a little like confidence.

“How about Buck?”

Buck looks at him, perplexed.

Eddie's leg is starting to cramp a bit.

He doesn't move it.

“A Buck is another name for a stag, right?” he continues. “And the stag symbolises strength and purity—

“Don't forget fertility” Buck is looking at Eddie, and it feels like something.

Eddie snorts. “'Course, don't wanna forget fertility.”

Buck smiles the first proper Buck smile of the evening, and Eddie's feels it in his chest.

“Hey, hang on, how come you know so much about stags, Edmundo?”

“You did that project with Chris about the forest.”

Buck blinks at him.

“Dude that was, like, years ago. And, as you said, I was the one learning all about the woodland creatures and different types berries and toadstools, so how do you—”

“Because you told me,” Eddie shrugs a shoulder.

Buck blinks some more.

“And you—remembered that?” he asks.

In this moment, Eddie couldn't blink, nor look away from Buck, even if somebody were to pay him.

“I remember everything you tell me.”

It's weird but it's like the air itself is crackling as they sit here, just staring at each other.

They look at each other for what feels like a long time. Or maybe it's just a single heartbeat, Eddie can't really be sure.

He watches as Buck swallows, his Adam's apple a calling card.

Eddie isn't entirely sure of why he thinks of that.

Until he is.

When Buck moves his hand, it's to slide it fully onto Eddie's thigh to just sit there, right at home.

Eddie's suddenly blinking so much he's a little worried he might be stroking.

He doesn't mean to say, “Can you smell toast?” but finds himself saying it anyway.

Buck smile is both crooked and adorable.

“You worried you're having a stroke, old man?”

“We'd have been at the same school at the same time, Buck. I'm not that much older than you.”

“You are old and I am young and everyone and the universe knows this,” Buck claims, cocky and sure of himself once more.

Eddie licks at his lips again.

“I, uh, I think I finally believe you.”

Buck now mirrors him, licking his own lips.

Cherry Chupa Chups.

“You mean about the universe?” he's asking, like he doesn't almost always knew what Eddie means.

“Yeah,” Eddie breathes.

Buck waits.

Just as Eddie is thinking he really should go put some on some sweats or something, Buck must get impatient because he replies, “I think it always wanted you to believe.”

Eddie doesn't have a clue what time it is, or whether he had dinner or not, or how he got so damn lucky.

“I'm gonna choose to believe, because you believe—and I believe in you, Buck” he says, somehow both sure and unsure of absolutely everything that is to come.

At long last, he finds he is totally okay with that.

“Anyways, I can hear it now,” he tells Buck, “and I'm listening.”

.

unedited; pls be kind!

.

edited version now found HERE on ao3 if you'd like to pop across and leave me a comment xp

[calware]

would you ever share a list of your fave fics to reread ? Id love to hear your recommendations and faves

sure thing :) i'm only going to list works that have been going on for a while (or at least have gotten past the very beginning of the story) and that i've read all the way through. i'm also not going to list any of the super iconic fics i like because this list is already pretty long. these are all based on stuff that i personally find more interesting to read about, mostly focused on the human characters and not a lot of romance

i don't really know if these first two count but they're too good to not include:

Jade Route by spicyyeti

a post-epilogues comic centering around jade, this is my favorite homestuck fanwork. i especially love the artwork and the way it frames the story. it is reaaallllly hard to read it on a phone so make sure to read it on a computer or tablet

House of Dirk by imarriedacherub no rating - graphic depictions of violence - 13,570 words - 20 chapters (unfinished) A sitcom about completely normal and well-adjusted newlyweds Dirk and Caliborn attempting to make a good impression on their son, Dave, and his boyfriend, Karkat.

another comic, this one hosted on both ao3 and mspfa (though the ao3 version has more pages). i like how ridiculous it is. will probably never be finished, sadly

moving on to the actual fics:

Reallocated by breezefulskies mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 324,756 words - 65 chapters (unfinished) Hal finds himself stranded aboard a certain meteor, impact-bound for Houston, Texas circa 1995. And everything spirals out from there. Because sometimes, when a system seems to be just short of defunct, all that is required is to take a step back and reevaluate the materials at hand and redistribute your available resources. And so, with birth comes a countdown on a cycle that begins as it ends: In the red.

hal is mysteriously sent to earth via unknown means and finds himself raising a baby as best as he can, which, given that he's glasses, is not easy. this is my favorite homestuck fic, not just because it's about hal, but also because i love the focus on family dynamics and the plot as it unfolds. begging everyone to read this, i can't say what happens exactly without spoiling things, it's just really really good. at the moment, it updates once a month

Ersatz Abyss by katreal mature - no archive warnings apply - 120,092 words - 39 chapters (unfinished) You look into the mirror to find your own face looking back at you. You laugh. And then you cry. Last, you try and figure out how you got to this moment. The Auto-Responder had long since resigned himself to an artificial existence, his only dwindling hope for escape hinging on a promise that has yet to be fulfilled. Then one day he wakes up, Dirk nowhere to be found. What's the point in getting what you want, if you can't show off a little?

another great hal fic. i managed to get my roommate (who has not read homestuck) to read this and they really enjoyed it, so i'm sure you all won't have any problems liking this one either. there are a lot of fics out there of hal getting a body, but this one is very different in that it's not the happy ending that you might first think it is. this fic perfects the feeling of everything snowballing into a bigger and bigger problem until it all falls apart

Falling for the First Time by nobrandhero teen - no warnings apply - 63,818 words - 11/17 chapters The game is over, Alpha Earth resets to 2009, and Dirk's bro doesn't live up to expectations. The movie director who appears so chill and stoic in interviews is actually a talkative, needy dweeb like his teenage counterpart. It's not a bad thing, as far as Dirk's concerned.

for whatever reason, i'm a sucker for fics where the characters somehow end up on earth again post-game, and out of all the fics that follow that concept this one is my favorite. sadly, this one barely touches on jane and jake, but it's pretty interesting to read about what dirk and roxy are getting up to with their guardians (and the earth) restored to their previous conditions

The Haunted Harley House by hemoanarchists teen - chose not to use archive warnings - 78,462 words - 23 chapters (finished) There is an old house you built a long long time ago, alongside someone very close to you. Now as you don a new name, slipping back into society to care for a descendant, to whom tragedy has left you as her only family left, you take her to the house, the house that bears your family name. You really shouldn't have been surprised when he came to join you. It is his house too, after all.

carlah, a young girl who lives on earth c, has just been taken in by her uncle "jacob harley" after her mother's death. as time goes on, she slowly learns more about the true nature of her new guardians and the house they all live in. normally i'm not that interested in OCs but i love how intriguing carlah is as an outsider of the story. it's really easy to get invested in her as she uncovers a mystery we all know from the beginning and another that we have to learn along with her. shoutout to dysfunctional family dynamics

actually, while i'm at it, i'm going to recommend a bunch of other stuff he's written:

Atlantis Bound teen - chose not to use archive warnings - 33,263 words - 8 chapters (unfinished) Dirk tracks down an old friend

prequel to the haunted harley house but can also be read after (or separately). i really like the dynamic between dirk and vriska here, and i also love the way vriska's repeated reincarnation is utilized. vriska's journey through the newest iteration of her life while dirk watches over her is soooo captivating, especially when snippets of her previous lives are sprinkled in throughout. do you guys love cycles? personally i love cycles

Cherubian mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 54,011 words - 29 chapters (unfinished) The 5000 year time skip never happened, at the dawn of time the gods desperately try to guide the planet into a better future. But with tensions rising it feels like one bad day could bring everything crumbling down.

all of dante's earth-c god fics as a whole changed my brain chemistry and this acts as the beginning (and catalyst) of that overarching story. a lot happens in a very short amount of time

Transitional teen - no warnings apply - 1,860 words - oneshot a simple question what changed when you went godtier?

super simple but also an interesting exploration of the headcanon that players' bodies change when they go godtier. the twist is that each "change" is unique to each character and relates to their Self in some way

Monster under the bed teen - chose not to use archive warnings - 2,573 words - oneshot Skeletons in the Closet mature - chose not to use archive warnings - 2,910 words - oneshot Small Talk teen - no warnings apply - 8,944 words - 6 chapters (unfinished)

putting all three of these together because i believe(?) they're all part of the same narrative

[thewhitefluffyhat]

Farewell to Magia Record...

Woah... I've been super out of the loop, so only just found out today that Magia Record is ending service and there's a new PMMM game on the horizon!

Of course, I haven't played MagiReco in... honestly years, at this point. My interest waned, other fandoms beckoned, and the size of the game was eating up a huge amount of memory on my phone. So I uninstalled it.

But way back when it first began, I was following all the pre-release info and I'm pretty sure I started within the first week of the JP version going live. It's strange to think back to those early days, when no one knew what to expect! I still remember plugging away at translating Madoka's character story out of sheer curiosity and eagerness for what new lore the game had to offer.

That time when I started playing was coincidentally right when I started a new job, and because of those early translations I posted, Magia Record became the first fandom where I started seriously posting my own content to tumblr too. It was first fandom where I actually talked to people and made friends here!

So to hear that it's finally shutting down... it's an oddly nostalgic and bittersweet feeling. The Magia Record chapter of my life ended a while ago, and I made peace with that. With the game fully gone, though, it will be like wandering past an old address I used to live at and seeing the new owners tore down the previous building and put up something unrecognizable.

Time moves inexorably onward, and the ephemeral nature of mobile games makes them all the more susceptible to it.

I might try re-downloading the MagiReco app, just so I can see it one last time to say goodbye. Depending on how my creaky ancient phone holds up, maybe I can get that transfer code and archive app working.

But even if I do get that transfer code, I don't know if I'll play Magia Exedra. As much as I feel nostalgic for the good times, I also remember my disappointments with MagiReco. I'm a lot more cynical now about the potential for ongoing service games to tell satisfying stories - heck, one major reason I got into FFXIV was because I heard it had a good conclusion where you could stop playing if you so chose.

So no, I'm not really interested in getting in on the ground floor of a brand new game these days. I'll wait and see how it turns out first.

[the-one-who-lambs]

how many cotl related dreams have you had by now?

Oh my god all my new followers are gonna have to get caught up to speed huh? So if I rotate something in my brain enough, the likelihood of me thinking about it as I'm falling asleep makes my chances of dreaming about it astronomically higher. Most notably, every other month or so I've had like.. a lucid dream where Shamura and I are just vibing in what seems to be their library. (This is why Pura drew me the Shamura profile picture actually.) Results have varied.

I'm just gonna copy and paste directly from my dream log document I have in the notes section of my phone.

-Shamura Lucid dreams. What have we done... Just chatting, talk about fears and shit, gave them a bubble tea (didn't go well), hug (not super comfy but it was nice anyway).. mostly just talk. They suck at jokes. They are literally so sweet and CONSTANTLY DEPRESSED BUT their presence is so comforting I don't know how else to describe it. Such a friend fr. Looked through their library.. I didn't understand anything but it looked cool but also felt like if I looked at anything wrong I'd set myself on fire by accident. Idk. most recently I talked to them about Gender Thoughts™ and just asked them how they knew they were nonbinary and they hit me with a "Well how did you know YOU were nonbinary ::)" motherfucker you are ten steps ahead of me right now. Forget the trans allegory of trying to "crack the egg." They put it in the microwave and tried to fucking explode it.

-Heket was my wife and we went swimming

-Shamura ran a Mexican restaurant, made good nachos

-Abstract dream, saw all five bishops. Just kind of observed stuff from the outside rather than interacting with them but nothing was super clear, other than them reuniting

-dream that lasted like 2 minutes, Shamura with a little Narinder. I think I was like watching an animated short tho, they weren't actually there. (Note: I still want this so bad)

-I was the Lamb and I went crusading and when I was done Leshy gave me a reward. I don't know why. I chose having a new scar (love that getting injured was my reward) and another choice was like .. the bishops had stronger weapons to fight me with?

-Kallamar (I'm pretty sure from @meatcatt's Redo AU. Great I'm dreaming about AUs of friends now.) was in his Gaming Hole™ and I went to say hi but I startled him and he like... Broke his mug or something and the noise woke me up at 4:45 in the morning.

-Choose ur starter pokémon (Bishop). They were all little and lying down on a table. I wasn't able to pick just one so I made some fried rice instead?? Also I was moving into a house with Ryan (note: my younger brother. I'm the first of 4 kids, he's the second of us)

-I was immediately transported back to 6th grade with all the knowledge I have now and started making predictions about the future that were all correct because I had lived it. One of the things I predicted was some sort of apocalypse that involved a red fungus taking over the world. All of the Bishops were responsible for this, and I distinctly remember Kallamar in a spaceship.

-Leshy disintegrated in front of me???? I think I killed him with my mind I'm SO SORRY LESHY

-Saw Shamura on 3 separate occasions on one night. One they were helping me win a competition to win a house but the house was boobytrapped and haunted and I had to get through the boobytraps to win it wait how were they helping me exactly?, second we were farming together I think in that exact house and we had like so many vegetables I couldn't fucking move and third we were selling ice cream together.

-I saw Narinder!!! Finally!! I was in some. Sermon thing. And he was giving a speech about peace for his followers. Idk (oh wait I didn't remember I had dreamt about him before)

-Had a dream that I became Heket's vessel. At the end of the dream, she turned against me and tried to reclaim her crown. I didn't see that one coming, somehow. Also, the fight took place in my parents's bathroom.

[lululawrence]

After reading your post explaining why 3 concerts in Ohio, I'm curious about your opinion on this. So Louis could have done fewer shows and bigger venues per show (like for example only 1 concert in Ohio but in a big venue) requiring more fans to travel to each concert, and it'll be less effort for him, although I think he enjoys the travelling to new places to see fans. I've been seeing people shade Louis saying he can't sell out MSG like Niall. And I'm here confident Louis can if he put it on his tour schedule and my simple reasoning is that if had fewer concerts around the NY area, it will encourage fans to make a trip to NY for a larger venue show like MSG, but I imagine you know the geography side and ticket buying habits more than me. What are your thoughts?

Oof okay so this is all just my own opinion so people can obviously disagree, but here’s the thing from my point of view. There’s so much more at play than just venue size and geography/demographics to fill it. The larger the venue, the more staff that will be required to put on the show from Louis’ end but also the venue’s end to accommodate the increase in numbers. That often translates to an increase in ticket prices to account for the higher numbers for Louis’ team and their own expenses as well as the cost the venue will pass on to him just to book it etc. something he’s been open about especially in this last round of promo was how he’s making a concerted effort to keep things affordable for the fans, at least as much as he possibly can manage to, and we have a lot of sources telling us that touring costs for the artists only continue to skyrocket (much like everything else right now). So if he chose to do fewer shows but tried to make up for that with larger venues, maybe even booking them for a couple nights to allow people better chances at seeing him there… well you’d basically end up with the residencies Harry did this past year in the US, wouldn’t you? And that was accessible for exactly……….. well. Not very many. Not to totally diss the residencies. As an artist, residencies are big deals and are much easier for them in a lot of ways! I understand the appeal for sure. But if accessibility is your biggest goal, that’s not going to be the way to achieve it.

So could he do that? Yeah absolutely and I’m some cases it would probably be for the best honestly. But he didn’t, at least not here, and I’m personally grateful for that.

So, now we have that lead in, if Louis were to adjust just a few shows and instead do a night at MSG, do I think he could sell it out? Uh, yes. Easily. Like, who the fuck is gonna stop us, right? Lol See, MSG is a special case and a scenario that is different from saying “why not condense the three Ohio shows in smaller amphitheaters to one larger centralized show in nationwide arena?” No one knows what nationwide arena is unless you’re super into Columbus hockey or have attended a previous show there lol it’s not a destination in and of itself or a dream venue anyone has on their list of places to play or attend a concert. For that you need a place like Red Rocks…….or MSG.

So imo announcing a show at MSG alone is going to bring more attention and make people a lot more willing to travel a much further distance than they usually would because… it’s Madison Square Garden. Even my phone knows to capitalize that lol but add to that the fact this is Louis and Louies are not exactly known for being chill or relaxed fans? I have exactly zero doubt that Louis could sell it out. We’d see a higher ticket price most likely due to the larger venue, but I doubt anyone would complain because they’d get the chance to witness Louis on stage in one of the most well known venues out there. That alone seems pretty damn worth it and I think most Louies would agree.

But for now I’m incredibly proud of the guy we all support going out there and doing his best to really get in an easy travel distance for most of the US population in ways almost no other artist has done in recent years all while trying to keep ticket prices at a reasonable level. We truly chose well when we named him our king haha

[raubacam]

Wow.

Wow. What a day it has been and we are still just in Tokyo! So many things have happened and we still have a 6 hr flight to get to Bangkok. Let's start at the beginning. First flight is Denver to LA. The flight is short and sweet, an easy 2.5 hrs on the smallest plane I've ever been on. The seats were sets of two rather than three so I got to have a window seat for once!!! I'm normally always stuck in the middle seat because Scott is too broad to sit in the middle and we want to sit together, so having a window was a special treat. Easy peasy. AND THEN.... I'm walking off the tarmac and the SECOND I get through the doors into the airport I look at Scott and I say, "I fucked up." He replied, "What??!!" with pure panic in his eyes. 😂 "I forgot my laptop." I had left my laptop under the seat in front of me. 🙃 Scott just shakes his head at me lol. The lady at the counter heard me and she said to not worry and just wait there, asked me for my seat number and went and got it for me. That was just the first scare.

^Flying over the Grand Canyon 😍

Now we are in LA with a 5.5 hr layover (not by choice, our flights were changed 10 times)... sooo we decided to leave the airport and go see the beach/grab some food. The closest nicest beach was chose was Manhattan Beach. We've driven by it on past trips but never actually stopped there. By the time we got there it was already dark out, which meant we had the beach to ourselves. We took off our shoes and took a short stroll, just to feel the ocean on our skin. 😊 I love the beach at night, it's so peaceful with no one around. Then it was time to eat. Scott had been mentioning wanting tacos on the plane over so I googled best tacos near me and a restaurant named Tacolicious popped it. It looked pretty good, so we decided to end our stroll and go clean off our feet on the boardwalk to get our shoes back on. We sit down for a moment, I switch shoes to flip flops for the time being till all the sand falls off. As I make room in my bag for my sneakers, I take out my wallet and lay it down, thinking in my head, "I'll just carry this since I'm about to use it at dinner." We pack up all our stuff, and walk the 4 blocks over to the restaurant. We check out he other ones along the way but this one def had the best vibes. We grab an indoor/outdoor table. It's a little chilly out but they have a great heater on that's not too hot. Perfect. The SECOND the server comes over and asks us what we want to eat, I panic. I realize I am NOT in fact carrying my wallet. 😳🤯😳 Scott is laughing and making small talk with the server, talking about different kinds of margaritas, and I'm in full blown panic mode, just waiting for her to go away so I can share my panic with Scott. She finally walks away after what felt like years, and I say to him, "You're gonna hate me...". He once again just goes blank staring at me. I say, "I think I left my wallet at the beach." He FREAKS out and stands up, about to go through all of the bags to make sure. I say I'm gonna go look! I start walking back, briskly. I have a good feeling its still there because it was super dark out and there was no one around at all. If I left it there it was left near some bushes, so it would be unlikely for someone to see it. I walking and walking, with Scott on the phone because he had to stay back to watch our stuff. I hop over the side of the pathway and walk down to where we put our shoes on and THERE IT IS...... SHEWWWWWW. That would've been really terrible. Scott breathes a massive sigh of relief and orders us tequila shots. 😂

Now that I have almost lost a SECOND extremely important thing, we are ready to shake it off and enjoy some tacos. Also Scott takes my wallet and says he's carrying it for the rest of the trip. 🙈 Very fair. Back to Tacolicious. We ordered an array of tacos including mushroom carnitas, shrimp, "vampire" tacos, fried cod and more. Tacolicious is named appropriately! They were DELICIOUS! Absolutely would go back and get it again, and we never say that. So if you're in LA, near Manhattan beach, give them a whirl.

*Side note - This is the first time either of us has ever had a long enough layover to leave the airport. If you find yourself with a long layover and can find something to make it worth your while, do it. It breaks up the monotony of the airport vibes and you can get way better food/do different things for way cheaper.

Now it's back to the airport. It is starting to really feel real. We are going to TOKYO! 🇯🇵 But first, we must somehow get through this 12 hr flight. We paid extra for the premium economy seats. Absolutely would recommend. The extra legroom and being closer to the front really did make a difference for us. The worst part? We were next to 3 different screaming children. When I say screaming, I mean screeching. I can have sympathy for most parents, I can only imagine how hard that would be, but this children were on another level. There was maybe 2 hours of the entire 12 hr flight that there wasn't one or more than one screaming at the top of their lungs. It was taxing on everyone around us. We honestly started to worry for the childrens health. Like their poor throats?? Sheeeshh. We slept in small bursts but for the most part we were up. The tv/music/game selection was pretty good. A 12 hr flight I think is always going to be difficult no matter how you swing it.

Eventually we made it. Walking out of the plane felt surreal. I didn't feel like we were actually there. Our plan for our 6.5 hr layover was to visit a nearby hot springs or "onsen." We figured that was plenty of time for a 15 minute taxi and an hour or two of soaking. We really wanted to be refreshed for the final 6 hr journey. In order to leave the airport in a foreign country you have to go through customs. I knew that, but I was blissfully unaware of how long and slow the Tokyo customs line would be. It took over 1.5 hrs to get through. Probably had to scan our passport at least 6 different times, and it was soooo HOT. 🥵 The outside temp was chilly, it was just the massive quantity of people all squished in the maze of a line that made it pretty unbearable. Once we finalllyyy got through we basically had run out of time to feel comfortable enough leaving the airport. I was pretty disappointed for a moment, but I saw a large sign hanging in the arrivals gates that said "Haneda airport garden." It intrigued me, so we decided to follow that path.. how bad could it be? We walked a little further and I saw a sign that said "Spa" and "Hot Springs." We both got so excited!! HOT SPRINGS?? IN THE AIRPORT???? It's gotta be like at least $200/person right? We figured we'd try it anyway, we got time to kill. Guys.. it was $37. THIRTY SEVEN. For as long as you like.. you can stay there all day.. Multiple pools, some indoor, some outdoor, all looking over the Tokyo skyline with beautiful Mt. Fuji in the background. ALL kinds of spa/bathing facilities, herbal saunas, some hot stone rooms with different types of stones. Rock salt stones, lava stones, and a cooling room for when you wanted to cool off. There was a "relaxation room" that was dark and peaceful and had the comfiest chairs to sleep on and blankets. I'm telling you all.. this place was HEAVEN. So serene. The most unique part about it was it was a Japanese traditional onsen, rather than a Western hot spring like we know them to be. Here, you had to wear certain outfits in certain spaces, and the soaking pools were segregated into women's and men's because you are required to be totally nude! That may sound weird to some, but after a minute or two you get used to it and it just feels natural. Embrace the culture, right?! It truly was the best experience. I am so sad when we fly back we are connecting in a different airport and we won't get to experience that again. Absolute number one BEST way to get through a layover. 100 stars. 10 out of 10. They even have a restaurant, and the food was delicious. The friendliest staff. Neither one of us can wait to go back. If you get the chance, you absolutely must do this. Please... for me...

*Side note - there is a rule of No Tattoos in all Japanese onsens, as they associate tattoos with gangs. Some, from what I've found, including this one, are flexible where you can purchase thin, basically skin colored bandages, and cover your tattoos, as long as they aren't too large. The coverings are cheap and easy to apply and covered a decent amount of surface area.

**No pics are allowed in the onsen, so I won't be able to share it's beauty with you.. You'll just have to go see for yourself. 😉

Alright. Final leg of the trip. 6 more hours to go. This time we are flying on Japan Airways, rather than American Airlines. I was a bit nervous because we didn't get any sort of upgrade on our seats, and we were pretty far back. Honestly these are the most spacious seats we've ever had in a plane. The legroom feels like the same amount that we paid extra for on the last plane, the ceilings are taller which makes the overall space feel bigger, and the seats are wider. No complaints. I mean my butt is DEFINITELY complaining as we speak, but I'm chalking that up to this being the final hours of our 34 hr long journey. I was still pretty full from the onsen breakfast, so when they came around offering us a meal on this flight I was going to pass, until I saw how cute and elaborate it was. It was like a 7 course meal, including multiple kinds of tea, miso soup, choice of entree, 3 sides, and they even topped it off with some Haggan Dass ice cream. They gave us REAL silverware.. like what?? On an airplane? I loved it. Thanks Japan Airways!

We are currently 2 hrs and 46 mins away from FINALLY being in Thailand. The last 2 hours of the previous flight were the most torturous, and these are shaping up to be as well. But what a journey it has been so far, and it has just begun. There is soooo much more we are going to see and do, and sooo many more stories to come!! I can't wait. Tonight, we check into our hotel and the plan is to RECOVER and RELAX. We'll be heading to Chinatown for dinner to see the last bits of the Lunar New Year celebrations.🏮🥡 I'm sure the food will be bomb, as will many other meals while we are here.

Thank you to anyone who chooses to follow along with us and read these crazy posts. Scott and I are grateful for all the love and support we have throughout this trip. I, in particular, am just so grateful to have my babe by my side for all of it, good and bad. I can't guarantee how often I'll post, but I want to remember as many small details as I possibly can, so stay tuned! I'll do my best! 😍

Next stop - BANGKOK! 🇹🇭

🍯🌙

[pokemon-teacology]

I realise I've never uploaded my trainer card onto here. Since I've not competed in any leagues, I don't have a proper Galar one like you'd expect. But! As of this year, I'm an Official member of our Uni's casual battling society, which is essentially a club made for the undergrad and postgrad students who want to battle, but arent interested in the competitive stuff. I do it because my pokemon like battling, but I'm not particularly good at it myself, nor is it something I intend on pursuing in the future. But I do get a card for it, and they were kind enough to put my whole squad on there, not just the ones assigned to the society properly.

Here it is! In order, I'll list whomst my mons are and how I got them :)

Chomp - Garchomp - He/Him. My first pokemon! I've told this story before, but I caught him as a Gibble while on an optional school trip to Sinnoh as a kid that I hated, I gave him my sandwich and he clung to my leg by his teeth until I was given a pokeball by my teacher and caught him.

Smilliam - Dragonair - He/Him. My second! I got him as an Egg from my parents for christmas one year. I made a deal with them when I was 15 that if I passed my exams with certain results, they'd help me get one. But they approached a breeder (I've actually had the pleasure of meeting her, she's very sweet) before I sat the exams and got him for me anyway :) Smilliam is strictly a pet, I don't ever use him for battling. He just likes to cuddle. (I did manage to get the results I would have needed to get him, in fact I got almost double the amount of A*s neccesary)

Pumpkin - Morelul - They/She. My sweet sweet babie <3 I've also told this story before, but I'll go over it again. I used to walk the same path home from school every day from school from the age of like 14. There was a patch of morelul that I walked past every day, and they each came and went as pokemon do over the four years I visited. Pumpkin was part of this gathering, but since her colouring would alert predators to the location of the gathering during camouflage, she was kicked out. I took them in and named them Pumpkin, after thweir colouring, and they've been chilling with me ever since.

Ralter - Gallade - He/Him. Ralter was the first pokemon I caught here in Paldea, caught as a Ralts during my first month. I came across Ralter while exploring the fields in front of Los Platos, and he stuck around while I had a picnic. I gave him some food and he hung out with me and my mons. This happens fairly often back home in Postwick, the Wooloo come to hang out and get some berries and then they leave, so I'm used to it by now. But when I went to go back to Mesagoza, i found him following me :) so I asked if he wanted to stick with me, and he did! I wasn't sure what to name him, so I phoned my younger brother and told him to do it. My dearest younger brother chose to call him Ralter Rhite. So thats his name. Ralter Rhite.

Flambé - Armarouge - He/Him. Later that week, I went wandering around the edges of South Providence for some coursework on soil pH. I took Ralter and Chomp with me. While they were grabbing some rocks from up on a cliff that I couldn't reach, I stumbled apon a charcadet. He seemed hungry, so I gave him some berries I was keeping in my bag, and he took them. He seemed chill with me leaving, but once he saw Chomp and Ralter join me, I guess he decided he wanted to be friends, so he, too, followed behind me until I caught him.

Fun note: Ralter and Flambé evolved around the same time. Ralter evolved into Kirlia first, then Flambé into his current form, and finally Ralter into a Gallade. It happened pretty quickly, and once Ralter avolved that second time is when their rivalry started getting out of hand.

Aneurin - Talonflame - He/him. I caught Aneurin a little bit before heading home for Christmas. He lived around my student accomodation flat, and occasionally in the winter I'd go and sit outside all bundled up and feed the mons that came near, just for funsies. One specific Fletchling came around the most often, and we became friends. He seemed upset when I told him I'd be going away for a month and a half for the holidays, so I offered to take him with me. Badda bing, badda boom, New friend number 6 Aquired.

Crassius - Dragalge - He/Him. This guy was found on a field trip! We went to a beach over on the northeast of Paldea and took note of habitats and surrounding flora, but ya girl's got joint problems, so about two thirds of the way through I stopped being able to walk on the trail we were following. My lecturer sent me back down to the beach to wait for them, so i went and sat on a little bitty cliff to watch an outbreak of Skrelp and eat my sandwich. I spotted one that was discoloured and leaned closer to see, and I fell into the ocean. Like a moron.

Apparently this was amusing to the discoloured Skrelp, because once I got myself out (and started wringing the water out of my clothes), he came closer and started laughing at me, to my face. I sat with it loitering nearby for a while after getting Aneurin to help me start a fire to try and dry myself off, and offered it the rest of my (now wet) sandwich. It took it and, once again, I gained a companion through food. I named him Crassius after Brassius, the grass type gym leader here in Paldea. Brassius came across me having a meltdown after class one day before the christmas holidays (I imagine he was visiting Hassel, but I didn't ask). He helped me calm down, which was very sweet of him. To say thanks, I painted picture of Pumpkin on a little miniature canvas and turned it into a pin using a kit, and got Hassel to deliver it for me. So we have something of a vague friendship.

Anyway what I'm getting at is that Brassius looks like a Skrelp and so I named the Skrelp after him. Thus: Crassius.

Ennill - Azumarill - She/Her. Ennill is the only one of my pokemon that I caught not in her first stage. Ennill was a Marill that had beef with my least favourite flatmate from last year, and he kept beating her in battle when she tried to fight him. I was also in an argument with that flatmate at one point, near the end of the school year, so I offered to help the Marill beat him by letting her train against my pokemon. I'm no battler, but Chomp has a natural affinity for battling, and he's a very good mentor. So we trained together, the Marill evolved, and the newly evolved Azumarill managed to beat my jerk of a flatmate all by herself :) Afterwards, she seemed upset that our training was done, so I asked if she wanted to become one of my mons full-time. Now Ennill, named after the Old-Galarian word that means "to be victorious", is my friend :D

Acacia - Combee - He/Him. I've told Acacia's story before, he was kicked out of his hive because the honey that shiny combee produce is considered of inadequate quality for the hive's survival, so he was removed by the vespiquen and the other combee. I came across him on a rainy day at work during the summer, while I was emptying the compost material from the day into the big bin outside (it was my favourite part of that job). He seemed upset and he was wet and cold, so I took him in and helped him warm up, since the heavy rain meant next to no customers all day. Once he was warm, I offered him a place amongst my pokemon. I named him Acacia. Even though acacia honey tends to be lighter than normal honey instead of darker, I was thinking of the orange colour of acacia wood in minecraft.

And that's it! Those are my mons. I'd talk about my badge collecting endeavours, but evidently I have none.

Reading over this, I'm realising how many pokemon I won over using food. Like, five of my mons came from me giving them food and hanging out with them. That's wild.

N-E-Way, I hope this was interesting enough. I never really intended on having more than two, but now there's nine of them, and I love them all so much <3

[angellesword]

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK | 15 (FINAL)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It’s simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if…Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

“A future without you is a world without color.”

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 4k

SERIES: CHAPTER 14 | SPECIAL CHAPTER 

"You sure you don't need anything?"

You weren't sure if it was annoyance or amusement that caused you to chuckle upon hearing hesitation in your father's voice.

"I'm good, Appa." You assured him, "it's just Jeongguk. Don't worry."

You were wrong. He wasn't worried because of Jeongguk. He was worried because of you.

"Okay," your father let out a deep sigh as he tried to calm his mind. "I trust your soulmate. Have fun, love."

And just like that, the call ended.

Soulmate.

After everything that had happened, your father still believed that Jeongguk was your soulmate.

You still did too. How could you deny that fact when you could clearly see colors now?

It had been four months since your eye surgery. You didn't think it was going to be a successful, mainly because you were convinced that Jeongguk's hatred towards you was the reason why you went blind.

Apparently, it was your fault.

You knew it was reckless to drive when you were under the influence of alcohol. This wasn't just about you. This was also about the people who could have suffered because of your stupidity.

Your father was actually disappointed in you. He didn't expect you to do something like this, especially because he knew that you had a careful approach in life.

You hated being a burden. Your greatest fear was to be the reason why someone was hurting. Your father didn't understand what ticked you to break out of character, and so he asked. He asked what was wrong—causing you to break into tears.

You couldn't keep this to yourself anymore.

You told him about everything you had been going through—like how your soulmate didn't love you and how stressful being a lawyer was.

Of course your father understood, but he told you that it wasn't an excuse to put yourself and other people in danger.

There were other ways to welcome or ignore pain. You agreed since it wasn't like you planned this to happen.

Your father didn't believe in you, though. He felt like you were trying to harm yourself. This was why he called you every single day. He wanted to make sure that you weren't driving or doing things you weren't supposed to do.

He freaked out when you told him that you were going out with Jeongguk tonight. It wasn't because he hated your soulmate. Admittedly, he felt like you were lying when you told him that Jeongguk didn't love you.

That can't be right. It was obvious. Your father had met your soulmate and he saw the way Jeongguk looked and talked about you. He couldn't be wrong; the boy destined to be with you was whipped—as in madly in love with you.

His claim turned out to be true when right after your surgery; you gasped and cried so hard because finally, you could see colors.

It was too good to be true. Was this seriously happening? Was Jeongguk really in love with you?

You couldn't tell.

You used to think that seeing colors was the indication of your soulmate's love for you, but it had been months now yet Jeongguk hadn't verbally told you that he loved you.

Sure. Actions spoke louder than words. You guessed you just had to be contented with this.

The past four months felt like a dream. Jeon Jeongguk, the most stubborn and egotistical person in the world, was acting like a lovesick fool because of you.

You told yourself that you did not want to love your soulmate. You stood by this. You had been ignoring Jeongguk's attempt to 'win you over.'

(Un)fortunately, the boy just wouldn't stop.

He would send you letters written in a small sticky note every day just to tell you the sappiest thing. On the other side of the sticky note, there's an exquisite drawing of every detail about you.

You realized that it was some sort of puzzle, but you hadn't really had the chance to piece it together because you were too caught up with the words written in the sticky notes.

Note 1 Red Red is the first color in the rainbow. She is my first love, but it ended. I'm saying this because I realized that the start isn't always the end. She’s the beginning, you are my end game.

This was the first note you had received from your soulmate. It was plastered on your front door—this was also the first thing you had seen after you had been discharged from the hospital.

Note 2 Orange Orange is the color I thought I know by heart. As it turns out, I've been fooled. I have been fooled by the world, but it's okay. You helped me see.

This note was unclear to you, yet it didn't fail to make your heart feel light. You weren't aware that Jeongguk was talking about how the florist who sold him orange tulips for almost a decade, the one who fooled him.

No one could take advantage of him now, though. You helped him with this problem.

Note 3 Yellow My mom said that yellow is the prettiest color. She also said that it shines the brightest. I'm glad I didn't believe her. It wasn't bright at all. It only reminds me of the time I thought I'll lose you.

It took you long to realize what he was implying.

Yellow.

This was the color of your shirt when your car crashed. Jeongguk remembered how dark life was when you were pushing him away.

Your soulmate had sent you hundreds of letters by now. All of his notes started with colors. Out of all the things he sent you, the yellow note was what stuck to you the most.

The black world was frightening. It felt cold and lonely and Jeongguk was exactly like that. He was lonely. He suffered from a major heartbreak that was why he turned cold. He hated what Red had done to him, but he wasn't really different from his ex-girlfriend.

Jeongguk hurt you the same way Red hurt him, but your soulmate was willing to do everything to make it up to you.

Aside from the notes, you also found out that Jeongguk was the one who cooked your food each day. You got mad at Red because she failed to tell you the truth. There was even a point wherein you stopped eating the food your soulmate had prepared since you literally didn't want to do anything with him anymore.

Jeongguk was still persistent. He would always pick you up from work and then he would ask if you wanted to grab dinner with him.

You always declined his offer to take you out. Turning him down was always part of your daily routine, so you didn't know what changed this Saturday night.

Why, after four months, did you finally accept Jeongguk’s attempt to ask you out?

"Can't resist his bambi eyes, can you?" Jimin laughed on the other line. Your best friend called right after your short phone conversation with your dad. It was like everyone was interested in your business tonight.

"It's just one date, Jimin," you rolled your eyes, yet the blush in your cheeks indicated that Jimin was right.

You still couldn't resist Jeon Jeongguk.

It wasn't like you were giving into him. No. It would take more than his wide, doe eyes to melt your cold, cold heart. He hurt you after all.

But last night was different.

You were supposed to have dinner with your subordinates since it was Friday, but then you spotted Jeongguk waiting outside the building of your small law firm.

He was standing there with trembling lips. Your soulmate was freezing under the cold winter, yet he still chose to wait for you.

You see, Jeon Jeongguk was banned from entering your office. You told the securities not to let him in since he was distracting everyone at work.

Your employees just couldn't stop gushing over your soulmate to the point that they weren't able to finish their task for the day. They were always trying to get Jeongguk's attention and the most annoying part was that your soulmate didn't seem to mind—not because he was a flirt too. It was actually because he was too naïve for his own good.

So yeah. You banned him from entering the building because he was a distraction and definitely not because you were blinded by your stupid jealousy. No. Not at all.

He was your soulmate, yes, but it didn't mean you had to stay together. The only thing you two should do was to try to be casual and not hate each other.

You couldn't afford to make Jeongguk hate you. This was the only rational reason why you agreed to go out on a date with him tonight. You were just scared and guilty for letting him wait for you in the snow.

"Whatever you say," you could imagine Jimin's teasing expression despite not seeing his face. "Have fun, okay? Love you!"

"Ditto! See you soon," you pressed the end bottom of your phone as your doorbell rang.

Seven pm. You bit your lower lip, glancing at the clock. Jeongguk was right on time. He told you last night that he would be outside of your door at exactly seven in the evening.

You sighed and fixed your hair a little before opening the door.

Jeongguk practiced speaking the things he would say to you tonight in front of the mirror. He swore he prepared so hard because he didn't want to disappoint you. He felt like this was his only shot with you, unfortunately it seemed like he was destined to fuck things up with you again.

"Oh fuck," his eyes dilated upon seeing you.

You were wearing this pretty dress that accentuated your curves. You looked so expensive and exquisite that Jeongguk felt like he was out of place.

Your soulmate was wearing a thick sweater and black sweatpants. His hair was messier because of the winter wind.

"You're not dressed." This was the first thing you said to him. The scowl on your face made him think that you already regretted agreeing to spend this night with him.

He was wrong. You were only frowning because you felt embarrassed. You took your sweet time preparing for this date. You even rushed to buy a fancy dress just this morning, causing you to feel like a fool.

It was clear now that you were more excited than the man who practically begged you to go out with him.

"I-I just thought it'd be better to stay home because of the weather." The boy said sheepishly while showing you the home cooked food he had prepared for this date.

You swallowed hard.

"Come in." And then you opened the door wider for him.

Jeongguk let out a sigh of relief. At least you did not kick him out. He wouldn't know what to do if that happened. He missed your home so much. He missed Miri as well. Too bad the fury pet wasn't around.

Miri visited the Kims' mansion every Saturday. Red picked the cat earlier this day. She said Miri was the only one that could make Soobin smile. Red and Seokjin, the newlywed couple, were only allowed to visit Soobin every Saturday. They always take the little boy to a nice place with your cat Miri.

Jeongguk realized that it was a blessing in disguise that the cat wasn't around since no one was scratching the couch where you and him currently sat on.

Jeongguk's idea for this date night was to simply watch some movies while eating. He thought that this was the perfect plan, sadly it looked like you didn't share the same sentiment.

"Jeongguk," irritation was laced in your voice as you called your soulmate's name.

You were irritated for the reason that you felt like he didn't really want to be here.

Jeongguk seemed preoccupied. It was apparent when you asked him what film he wanted to watch. He simply said 'whatever you want," while staring at you blankly.

You let it pass at first, but you couldn't ignore it now that the movie had ended and it appeared like he didn't even realize.

Jeongguk was silent beside you, but he couldn't sit without fidgeting. The air was awkward. He looked awkward, like he was uncomfortable or something. He wasn't even eating his food.

"Did you like the movie? Were you scared?"

"Uh," Jeongguk was staring again. "I'm...yeah. It's pretty scary,"

"Oh." You narrowed your eyes at him. "I didn't know you were afraid of zombies."

"Yeah. I am," he wasn’t and you knew it.

You huffed, crossing your arms. He was such a liar.

"The movie that we just watched," you gritted your teeth. "Isn't about zombies, Jeongguk. It's not even a horror film. It's Toy Story 4!"

You were annoyed. Why did Jeongguk even ask to be with you when he wasn’t going to pay attention to you or to the things the two of you were supposed to do?

"I'm sorry..."

And there's it again. The insincere apology. He was always sorry, but he never changed.

"You know what? Just go home. I..." You trailed off as tears filled your eyes.

Why did you always have to make a fool of yourself because of him?

"I don't want you here."

Jeongguk's heart sank upon hearing the words that left your mouth.

"No please," he also turned pale, eyes turning wide because he wasn't expecting this date to turn out like this. What he wanted to happen was to enjoy the winter night cuddled with you as the two of you watched a romantic movie.

Jeongguk imagined watching Love 911 to give you an idea of some of the things he wanted to try with you.

"What do you mean no? It's obvious that you don't want to be here. You're not even paying attention."

"It's not like that," he avoided your gaze.

You only scoffed. Typical Jeongguk. Always telling you that you didn't get him.

"Then what is it? Why do you look uncomfortable? Why do you look like you don't want to be here—"

"I told you it's not like that!" He was staring at you using those big eyes. His thin beckoning lips protruded into a pout.

"I just!" He sighed like he found it hard to explain what he felt. "Can't concentrate on other things because all I can think about is you!”

"What—"

He didn't let you finish. Jeongguk was rambling. He was nervous. He didn't want you to get mad at him again.

"Your dress really looks so good on you and your make up is really nice. You're really pretty...and really beautiful and really sexy and I really just...really—"

"Huh." you pouted, slightly cringing because of his excessive use of the word really. "So now you're blaming the way I look?"

You were teasing him to get rid of the funny feeling in your stomach. Damn Jeongguk for confusing the hell out of you. You were supposed to be annoyed, but why were you smiling?

And why the hell was it so easy to melt into him?

"No!" Jeongguk groaned. He was getting frustrated. You seemed to always twist his words and extrapolate things.

"Look..." He closed his eyes since he couldn't bear to look at you anymore. He was scared to see the disappointment in your eyes.

"I just love you okay? Like really, really, in love with you."

Jeongguk's heartbeat doubled when you didn't speak.

Silence engulfed the whole room that he was forced to open his eyes.

His heart went even crazier. It was beating erratically.

Why were you staring at him with an agape mouth?

"What did you say?" You were no longer in the mood to fool around. Sure, you were teasing Jeongguk, but it didn't mean he could also joke about feelings and love.

It wasn't fair.

"I love you?" Jeongguk said, unsure.

He wasn't unsure of his feelings. He just didn't know if you were referring to the last words he uttered.

"You...love me?" You were still in doubt.

Jeongguk simply nodded his head; a soft smile was plastered on his lips as he scrunched his nose. You knew this look well. This was his genuine self and it only meant one thing.

He wasn't lying.

"But..." you bit the inside of your cheek. "This is the first time you told me that."

"I thought it's obvious?" Jeongguk mirrored your confused expression.

He expressed what he felt for you by singing. Jeongguk thought you understood.

You did not. The song lifted your spirit and you also found the gesture sweet, but you still didn't realize it was his way of confessing.

"I mean..." Jeongguk pouted his lips more. "Your eyes tell, right? You can see colors now."

As soon as these words escaped his mouth, Jeongguk felt like he had been hit by a truck—crushing his bones and telling him how stupid he was for crossing the street even though there were signs that told him to stop.

Signs.

The signs had been there all along.

"You love me..." Jeongguk blurted out. His realization was too sudden that he couldn't help but a cry a little.

You panicked as you asked him what was wrong.

"I wasted six months because of how stupid I am!" His answer was unclear.

"Gukkie," you put your hands on the either side of his shoulder, urging him to look at you. "You're not making sense. Speak slowly."

Jeongguk shook his head, tears still painting his cheeks. It was funny how the situation kept on turning around. Just a few breaths ago, you were the one who was on the verge of crying.

"I told you you didn't understand!" Jeongguk was still not making sense, but you decided to stay quiet and let him speak.

It looked like he needed an outlet for the reason that his emotions were overflowing.

"I left b'cause I thought...you...d-din't love me!" He sobbed and your heart cracked.

How could he think this way when all you had ever done was make him feel the love you felt for him?

Jeongguk's twisted expression told you that you had voiced out the question running inside your mind out loud.

"I called you delusional since I believed that you really are," he was bringing back the wounds that you were trying so hard to forget.

Still, you didn't stop him from speaking.

"H-How can you be sure you love me when I myself know that I am not worthy of your love?"

Jeongguk knew that he had always been mean to you. He hadn't done anything to make you fall in love with him that was why he was questioning your feelings.

It wasn't him whom you loved. It was the idea of him being your soulmate. You liked the thought that there was someone out there for you.

It made sense now, though. The fact that he could see colors brightly made him realize that your feelings were real, but it didn't mean he understood your reasons.

Jeongguk stood by his statement. He was unworthy of your love.

"You're not doubting yourself, Jeongguk." You shook your head at him, proving him otherwise. "You are doubting my feelings for you."

This wasn't about Jeongguk's beliefs. This was about you. You grew up thinking that when you felt like everything was collapsing, your only choice was to trust what you feel was right. It's because at the end of the day, you were going to be the one to face the consequence of your actions—not your parents, not your friends, and not even your soulmate. They would be affected by your decisions, yes, but only indirectly.

They could make their own choices that would directly affect their lives even if their choice was based on your decision. People would end up having different results even though they walked on the same path.

"But why me?" Jeongguk sounded broken as he asked this. It hurt you to think that he really thought so lowly of himself.

He couldn't be blamed. He loved Red before; however, it was still not enough. He had moved on from her, but it didn't mean that all the scars would fade away.

His first breakup up caused him to think that despite giving your one hundred percent, it would still be lacking for some people.

But you weren't some people.

You were you and you had your reason.

"Sometimes you don't need a reason to love someone." Your reason was not having a reason at all.

Your soulmate wasn't sure if he agreed to what you said.

Jeongguk didn't believe that just because things existed, it was already valid. Validation cannot be valid if one would not give enough reasons to prove why it's worth validating.

This was the reason why Jeongguk was questioning the love you claimed you felt. He needed reasons. He was just a human after all—always in need of affection and reassurance.

"I mean...I tried thinking of a reason why I shouldn't love you, but I just can't find any." Your confession made Jeongguk blush.

You had always been straight forward.

The way you loved was the opposite of how your soulmate loved. This was probably the explanation why it took him long to admit his feelings for you.

As stated, Jeongguk was in constant need of reason. His drawings of you were his proof of the love he felt.

"If you can't find any reason, then just allow me to tell you the million reasons why I love you."

He didn't wait for your answer. Jeongguk simply moved closer to you. His face was just inches away from yours.

"You're smart." And then he kissed your forehead.

You weren't only a book smart. You were emotionally intelligent. You had taught Jeongguk a lot of things, especially when it came to forgiveness and compassion.

"You're brave." He kissed you left eye.

He remembered the night you told him you liked him. It was in front of many people. You didn't hesitate even when he was running away.

"You're patient and understanding," he kissed your right eye.

You tried to understand Jeongguk's annoying attitude.

"You work hard in all aspects." He kissed your nose.

"You're beautiful," he kissed your left cheek.

You really were. Inside and out.

"It's you,"

Jeongguk didn't know if he could love someone who wasn't you.

"Most importantly, I love you because you are my soulmate." And then he kissed you on the lips.

You laughed in between the kiss, but you didn't stop kissing him back.

Did you forgive him?

The answer was yes.

Were you ready to love him again?

Perhaps.

Were you still hurt by his actions before?

Yes.

Did you want to be with him?

Yes.

There were many questions flooding your mind right now. Some of your answers might not be the truth, maybe you were just too happy right now—caught up in the moment because you were in Jeongguk's arms again.

But it didn't matter now because one thing was sure.

You were willing to love Jeon Jeongguk again because you didn't want to repeat his mistake.

You didn't want to lose your soulmate just because of hatred and denial.

Things were clear now.

Jeon Jeongguk loved you and the world was no longer black and white.

 BONUS: (a poem made by young OC that made her realize why she should trust her own feelings)

holy. after 6 weeks???? i’m finally done writing this baby. wow. thank you thank you everyone for reading this—especially those people who never failed to send me feedback. i love you all!

New fic alert! READ HERE >> SAVE ME - Demon!Taehyung x Doctor!Reader

YES. I LIKE USING BTS’ songs as the title of my fanfics. 😅

[drama--universe]

Bad boy and his girl

Requested by anonymous: Hello! I was wondering if you could do a modern ah with Xue Yang? Maybe something along the lines reader rebels against parents and dates him with a fluff ending? Thank you!🥰💗

Word Count: 2223 words

Warnings: toxic parents, cliché, Xue Yang's a bit OC-ish (sorry)

A/n I also want to say that the parents could be considered toxic but I wasn't sure if I should label them as toxic or overly strict, but just to be sure I put it in

You slammed the front door behind you, hoping your parents would hear it loud and clear. You just had another fight and at this point you were sick of them seeking trouble with you. Everyday was a new argument, you could never do something right for them. Your usual points never got praise, but once you had one lesser points and you were a mistake of the family. Unlike your brother, wo's grades were lower than the bloody sea, yet he was the best thing in the world. After all, he would get the family business while you would simply marry a rich man that your parents chose (not like you were going to, but they didn't listen).

The bus arrived and you got on, sitting on the back next to the window. After 10 minutes, you got of and walked to school. You were still in a bad mood, but it just got worse when a motorcycle zipped in front of you. You stumbled before glaring at the person, which you already knew to be Xue Yang.

He was the infamous bad boy of your school. Tattoos, motorcycle, smoked and had a general bad attitude towards school, which was surprising when you realized that he was friends with Xiao Xingchen who was a pretty good student. You didn't necessarily hated him, but rather you were just jealous. He could live the life he wanted and you were jealous because of that.

You shook your head and continued to walk to your class. You entered and suddenly all eyes were on you. You frowned, looking behind you and there stood Xue Yang. He was on time... Xue Yang who never bothered to show up to class and hung around on the roof, was 10 minutes early.

"Am I that good looking, sweetheart?" "In your dreams." You sneered back and he scoffed, walking past you and sitting down in his seat at the back. You sighed and walked to your own seat. Laying your bag on top of your desk before grabbing your phone. You scrolled the news as you waited for the bell to ring. When it did, you put your phone into your bag.

Class started and before you knew it, lunch approached. The bell rang loudly and most students ran out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang. You just waited for a bit before you stood up as well, grabbing your food card and phone before you walked out. You didn't notice the eyes that followed you nor did you hear them following you until you heard the whispers. Then you noticed Xue Yang following you and you bit your lip, turning around and marching his way. You then grabbed his arm and dragged him along to an empty hall.

"Why are you following me?" "Can't I?" He said, leaning down to meet your height and to stand face to face. You sighed, looking away before looking back at him. His face was inches from yours and you noticed his face tattoo. A small moon with a constellation next to it (the cancer constellation). You also noticed a few freckles.

"What do you want?" You sneered and he gave you a smirk.

"Go on a date with me." He said and you glared at him before thinking it through. It would piss your parents off if you did... and it was not like he was that bad looking. Worth it.

"Sure, after school of course." You commented before turning around to walk back, but freezing when you heard him whine.

"Fine~" He whined and you chuckled before continuing back to the cafeteria to get some food. He followed you, like a guard dog, as the other students started to whisper once again. You ignored it and grabbed your food.

The rest of the day went the same way, mostly with Xue Yang hanging around you. When the school day ended, instead of going to your after school lesson, you waited for Xue Yang by his motorcycle. After only 3 minutes, he reached, leaning against his motorcycle as he looked at you.

"Where are we going then?" You asked and he smirked before handing you a helmet. "You carry an extra helmet?" You asked and he scoffed again before putting his own on and throwing his leg over the motorcycle. He looked your way and you got on behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso. He drover off and your grip tightened slightly. You drove for about 15 minutes before he stopped driving. You looked around before spotting a fair. You took your helmet off as you got off of the motorcycle before looking at him again.

"A fair?" "I'm good at shooting games." He shrugged and you chuckled, handing him the helmet before turning to the fair. It was small, but it looked fun. Xue Yang locked his motorcycle before grabbing your hand and leading you to the fair. He then stopped, looking at you.

"What do you want to do?" He asked and you looked up before looking around again. You didn't know anything and looked at him sheepishly.

"I've never been on a fair, so I don't really know anything." You admitted and he raised an eyebrow at you before smirking.

"Well, first time for everything." He said and you nodded. He leaded you to what looked like a shooting stand. He paid before grabbing a gun and handing it to you. You looked at him confusingly and he chuckled again as you took it in your hands. He stood behind you and showed you how to hold the gun before helping you aim. You pulled the trigger and one of the balloons popped. You smiled brightly, turning to face him only to jump back when your noses touched.

"Thank you..." You mumbled before aiming again and hitting 2 more balloons. You paused, glancing at Xue Yang to see his reaction. He was just smiling and you bit your lip to hide your own smile before aiming at the balloons again. You shot 2 more balloons before looking at the owner of the stand.

"You can choose one of these." The man said and you looked around before spotting a black panther plushie keychain. You pointed at and the vendor smiled, grabbing the plushie and giving it to you. You thanked him before turning to Xue Yang. You held it out to him and he looked at it with a raised eyebrow.

"For you." "It's usually the man who gifts something to the girl." He said and you frowned, taking his hand and placing the keychain in it.

"I don't like gender roles. Now take it." You said and he chuckled again before placing it in his pocket.

"Attraction next." He then said and you frowned as he dragged you along to what seemed to be the tallest attraction of the whole fair. As you waited in line, you couldn't help but feel nervous as you heard the screams. You debated for a few seconds before grabbing Xue Yang's shirt and clinging to him. He turned his head to look at you before grabbing your hands and removing them from his shirt. You pouted until you felt his arm on your shoulders. You looked at him again before getting a bit closer to him. The line moved quite fast and before you knew it, you were sitting in the front row with the bars already down over your shoulders. You had already grabbed his hand to hold on too and waited for the countdown.

"Ah, couple in the front he? I don't like couples!" The announcer of the ride spoke before you were suddenly launched off into the first loop. You screamed loudly for the whole ride and when you arrived back in the loading station, your hair was a mess and Xue Yang was most likely in pain.

"Oh, someone's getting dumped!" The announcer joked as the bars lifted. You quickly got out of the ride and waited for Xue Yang before leaving the attraction.

"I hate that... I need food." You said, looking around for a food stand. Once again, you were dragged to another stand. The food seemed very greasy and unhealthy, but you could care less as Xue Yang ordered the food. You waited at the table and Xue Yang made his way back with the food and you smiled, thanking him as you helped him put down the food. Just then, your phone rang and you pulled it out of your pocket.

"Ah, it's my mom..." "Take it, I don't mind." He said as he took a bite out of his own food. You nodded with a smile, sliding the icon to the green phone thingy and then put it on your ear.

"Where are you?!" She screeched and you pulled the phone away from your ear, hissing in pain. The smile you had was already gone as you tried to think for an answer. Xue Yang looked at you before grabbing your phone.

"Don't worry ma'am, I'll get your daughter home safely after our date." And then he hung up, handing you your phone like he had not just done that. You took it, turning your phone off before taking a bite of your food.

"Wah, this is good." You said, taking another bite happily. "You learn something new everyday." He said before taking his own phone, holding it out to you.

"Put your number in." He said as he continued to eat. You took another bite before putting down your cutlery and taking the phone. After putting your number in, you handed the phone back and continued to eat.

You went to a few more places, winning a few more plushies (whish Xue Yang gave to you this time) and then came the time to go home. It was already 10 pm by now and 10:30 pm when you arrived at your house. You could see your mother by the door, glaring at the two of you. You got off and gave him the helmet you wore.

"Thanks for today, it was really fun." You smiled and he smirked, sitting on his bike.

"Tomorrow as well?" "Sure." You said before acing on impulse again and kissing his cheek before going to your house, dragging the bag of plushies behind you. You entered the house, ignoring the stares from both of your parents and going to your room. You closed the door and laid on your bed.

Yeah, you were grounded for 2 weeks the next day. You had already sent the info to Xue Yang, but he had only read it. You on the other hand, were literally locked in your room by your parents (and you had no key or inside lock yourself) and you were just laying on your bed. You didn't want to study and you had nothing else in your room besides your phone, yet had no internet since your parents had blocked you from the network. How you had survived until 3 pm was a miracle.

You were pulled out of your thoughts as you heard a knock on your window. You jumped up and stared at the window. There was Xue Yang, his famous smirk already making you feel happy as you walked to the window and opened it.

"What are you doing here?" "Picking you up of course. Saving the princess from her locked room." He teased and you looked at him for a few seconds before nodding.

"I need to change, wait down there. And hide!" You whispered and he nodded, climbing down the tree again. You quickly changed into your favorite outfit (which might have matched a bit with Xue Yang) and pulled some shoes on before taking your wallet and phone. You turned off the light of your room and climb out of the window and down the tree. Xue Yang was waiting there with his motorcycle. It was then that you noticed the panther keychain that hung on the motorcycles key. You smiled before grabbing the helmet he held out. You got on before flinching when you heard your mother screech once again, hanging out of your window as she screamed at you.

"Go, go, go!" You exclaimed and you drove off again to your next destination. You arrived at an arcade.

"Let me guess, you're good at shooting games?" You asked and he shrugged as he pulled the keys from his motorcycle. You went inside and the happy music made you happy immediately. You started to game, Xue Yang showing you how to do everything as you moved from game to game. By the end (5 hours later), you had about 300 tickets and you had probably wasted tons of money. Now it was to decide what to get with the tickets. You didn't want another plushie, so the plushie section was excluded, and the other side was mostly kid stuff. The only thing that you could see was jewelry. And most wasn't your style, but you didn't get to choose as Xue Yang handed the man the tickets. You looked at him as the man handed him a box and he nodded before pulling you out of the arcade.

"What you get?" You asked and he looked at you before telling you to turn around. You did before smiling when you saw a necklace in front of you before he locked it around your neck. You looked down at the necklace, it being a small panther cub necklace.

You smiled again and turned back around. He rolled his eyes at you bright smile before handing you the helmet. You put it on and sat behind him again. He brought you back home like before and once again, your mother was once again at the door. You could care less as you dismounted the motorcycle and handed him the helmet once again.

"Keep the window open." He whispered and your eyes widened in shock.

"You're going to get me end up with bars on my window." You joked and he chuckled. You then leaned up, quickly kissing him before walking to your house and leaving behind a shocked Xue Yang. You once again ignored your mothers screeching, locking yourself in your room once again. You could hear the door lock from the outside and sighed, quickly changing into sweatpants and a hoodie before opening your window. You leaned out of your window, looking down to see Xue Yang. His motorcycle was parked behind your house and he was hiding behind the tree.

"Xue Yang!" You whisper-yelled and he looked up before smirking, starting to climb. Once he reached your window, he climbed inside your room and you closed the window again. You didn't lock it, so that if necessary he could escape quickly. You laid on your bed and after taking his choose and jacket off, he laid next to you. You turned to face him and he laid his arm underneath your head. You laid your head on his arm, still looking at him with a small smile. You staid like that until you fell asleep, not caring if your parents would find you like this as you hugged the man next to you.

[helloalycia]

worth the wait [three] // daisy johnson

summary: when you're out chasing a story that leads you to the unanticipated hands of HYDRA, you certainly don't expect to be rescued by a girl you presumed dead for nine years.

warning/s: descriptions of violence, torture, injuries.

author’s note: here’s the next part, hope you all like it!

part one | part two | part four | part five | part six | masterlist | wattpad

Nine years later...

"I'm meeting with my contact now. He said he knows something about the weapons."

"Okay, just make sure you're safe, Y/N."

I smiled with amusement. "I always am, Taylor. I think this could be the source to break the story though. I'm gonna try and get them to speak on the record."

"Just be careful," he warned.

"Will do," I promised, before checking my watch for the time. "Okay, I gotta go. See ya."

"Good luck," he finished, and I hung up before putting my phone away.

Looking around, I saw the village was quiet seeing as it was pretty late and everyone was in their homes. It was the perfect place to meet with a source for my story on human trafficking.

I headed down the street and waited outside the apartment building for my source. I had no idea what he looked like, but nobody else would be out this late into the night, so he couldn't be hard to spot.

A few minutes passed before I saw a guy approaching me, holding some files in his hands. I straightened up and held his gaze as he stopped before me. He glanced around before looking me up and down.

"You are Y/N?" he asked with a Burmese accent.

I nodded, speaking fluent Burmese as I said, "Yes. You must be Ohnmar? We can speak Burmese if you prefer."

"Okay. We talked earlier, but it wasn't safe then. I have information on the missing residents," he answered in Burmese, before shaking the files. "It's all in here, but you mustn't open it until you get home."

I accepted the files and nodded, though was mildly confused. "Is it about the labour they're doing? I have a theory, but I have no proof. I... I think it might be HYDRA."

He pursed his lips and I figured he was confirming my thoughts, which concerned me.

"I'm right," I realised, before moving to open the file. "I need to–"

"You should've stayed away," he suddenly said in English, and I looked up in confusion.

Before I could question him, he pulled a gun from behind him and hit me on the head, knocking me to the ground. I tried to blink my eyes open, but my vision was blurred and I eventually blacked out, unable to stay awake any longer.

I woke up in a dark room with an aching head and confused mind. It took a moment for me to catch myself up, but I soon realised I'd been tricked by my contact. I was so easily fooled and I felt stupid as I hadn't seen it coming, instead too blindsided by my need for information.

Looking around, I realised I was tied to a chair. The only light in the room was from a single electric lamp plugged in the corner, shedding light on the damaged walls and, to my dismay, a HYRDA logo.

"Well, fuck," I mumbled, before shaking my wrists to try and get free, but they were tied pretty tightly with rope, making me shift uncomfortably at the chafing.

Panic started to set in when the door slammed open in front of me, flooding the room with light and making me close my eyes with discomfort. I heard another slam and opened my eyes when I saw the door closed behind whoever entered.

Two people were in the room and one of them turned the lamp, shining it in my direction and also revealing my assailants' faces. One of them was Ohnmar, my contact, which I guess wasn't his real name. The other wasn't anybody I recognised, and they were both wearing uniforms with the HYDRA logo on the pocket.

"I wouldn't try to escape if I were you," the fake Ohnmar said.

I clicked my tongue and looked between the both of them. "I'm guessing I got a little too close to the truth which is why I'm here. Right?"

"You've been putting your nose in where it doesn't belong," the other guy said. "Did you really think you would get away with this? That we'd let you write about this?!"

I flinched at his loud volume before clearing my throat. "I didn't think I needed your permission. And in case you didn't notice, it's my job to report on this."

Fake Ohnmar scoffed. "We don't care what your job is. Now tell us what you know and what you've told your superiors back home."

I narrowed my eyes. "Do you really think this is the first time I've been captured? I've spent nine months in this village. If you think I'm going to throw that away for you, you better think again."

Fake Ohnmar's friend cracked his neck, pacing with discomfort, before pulling out a gun. I chewed on the inside of my mouth, nerves settling as I tried not to show it.

"We have someone going through your electronics as we speak," he told me, gripping his gun. "Your superiors will get their updates as expected, but you won't be giving them."

"Look, you're gonna kill me whether I tell you or no–"

I was cut off when he smacked me across the face with his gun, making me see stars momentarily. I felt something warm gush from my nose and realised I was bleeding.

"You have no idea who you're dealing with," he muttered, his face inches from my face as he stared me down threateningly. "Now tell us what you know of the missing villagers."

I wiped my nose on my shirt the best I could and chose not to speak. They couldn't do much without knowing what I knew. Everything I'd learnt had been sent back home to the news organisation I worked for, and if I didn't get back to them or call them, they'd know what happened.

"Two things I despise," he mumbled with irritation. "Journalists and Americans." He waved to his friend dismissively. "She won't talk. You know what to do."

Fake Ohnmar nodded obediently before suddenly punching me in the face, once again, leaving me dazed. This went on for a while, him beating me up as an attempt at torture, before the two of them left me alone to 'think about' if I wanted to tell them.

I had been in this situation, surprisingly, two times before in my journalistic career. Both times I was able to get out either by escaping myself or managing to get found by the authorities. Of course, in this case, the latter seemed impossible, so my only hope was escaping myself.

I looked around, but realised I was in too much pain to hatch a plan right now. They'd done a good job on me, and I was sure my ribs were bruised pretty badly. Honestly, I didn't expect nine months of investigative journalism in Myanmar to lead to HYDRA of all places.

—

"You've beat me, starved me..." I coughed because of how dry my throat was. "I'm not talking."

Fake Ohnmar placed something rectangular on the table in front of me. I realised it was my laptop – they must have taken it from where I'd left it in the room I'd been renting downtown.

"You're clever, I'll give you that," he said, crossing his arms and shaking his gun impatiently. "Where did you learn such complicated encryptions?"

I couldn't help but smile when I knew he couldn't get into my laptop. At least not the parts that exposed what I'd learnt so far.

"You do what I do and you learn from past mistakes," I told him, making him clench his jaw.

It wasn't much, probably the only trick in the book I knew as I wasn't exactly an expert with computers. Clearly it was benefiting me today though.

He slammed his hand on the table suddenly, making me jump. "Tell me the password, now!"

I licked my dry lips, choosing to stay quiet. I began to wonder just how advanced these guys were if they couldn't even afford to get a hacker to break through.

"So it's gonna be like that," he said with a shrug, before pointing his gun at my face.

He flicked off the safety and I closed my eyes as calmly as I could, already saying my goodbyes in my head. A few days in a HYDRA cell was like weeks anywhere else. I'd accepted my fate.

I expected the shot to go off any minute now, wondering what things would be like afterwards. Would it hurt? Would it be an instant death?

I certainly didn't expect my left ear to be ringing as an excruciating pain shot up my neck from my shoulder. My eyes opened and I tried to breathe through the pain whilst hoping my ear would stop ringing. The man began to laugh, but I couldn't hear him, only see his evil smile.

When I looked down, I saw blood seeping from a bullet wound in my left shoulder. Despite my experience in this profession, I can't say I'd ever been shot before. It certainly hurt a lot more than I'd imagined.

"You talk and I get you patched up," he said when my hearing returned to normal. I looked up and saw him watching me with narrowed eyes. "You stay quiet and we see how long it takes for you to bleed out."

I swallowed hard, squeezing my eyes shut to contain the pain, before opening them again.

"You're gonna move operations," I realised aloud. "You want to know whether you can. Because if I've told them about you, you know you can't stay here much longer. And if I haven't, you just get rid of me."

He squeezed his gun with irritation, watching as I spoke the truth.

"But either way I die," I repeated. "So why the hell would I want the last thing I do be to help you?"

He grabbed the laptop before kicking the table away with anger. "Call when you feel like talking. We can make your death quick and painless or long and painful."

I smiled bitterly as I watched him leave the room, slamming the door behind him. I released a deep breath as I looked down at my shoulder, trying to make out the damage. I didn't know much about first aid, but I was pretty sure there was no exit wound meaning the bullet was still in there. That was good, right? Or wasn't it...? I couldn't remember. I just knew it hurt like hell.

—

Hours had passed and I began to hallucinate. Silly things like cheeseburgers and dancing water bottles – lack of food and drink, the blood loss and the heat was making my head spin. I wasn't sure if this was where I wanted to die – in a small, dirty, hot room by myself. Was it worth it? Dying over a news story?

Of course it was. I pursued this story after some social media posts about disappearing villagers in Myanmar. I stayed here nine months with each day leading me closer and closer to the supposed human trafficking that was going on. I got to where I was because I wanted to get justice for those who suffered and stop anyone else from suffering. Yet the only people who knew were my editors back home, and I wasn't sure they'd ever know the full truth.

It was better than helping the enemy though.

Just when I thought cheeseburgers were the worst of my delusions, I saw a face I hadn't thought about in a long time. A person who I least expected my mind to drag up in a time like this.

The door opened and I was sure I was going to be questioned again, but in ran none other than Skye. The same Skye who had ran away all those years ago and wasn't to be found.

She looked a little older with her shorter hair, but otherwise she was just as I remembered.

"Hey, I'm gonna get you out of h– Y/N?" she started, before furrowing her eyebrows with confusion.

She even sounded the same, and if I could feel anything at that moment, I'm sure I would've felt my heart beating quickly at the sight of her.

"Can you hear me?"

I began to laugh with what little energy I had left. Is this what it was like to die? Seeing things that you'd pushed down for so long to stop your heart from hurting? It was strange. Why was my mind playing with me like this?

"Y/N, look at me, can you hear me?!" she asked quickly, grabbing my face and forcing me to meet her eyes.

I continued to laugh because it all felt so real. Her touch, her voice, her eyes that peered into me. I wished it was because maybe after all of these years I could have made things right.

—

"Miss, can you hear me? Y/N?"

I blinked the tiredness from my eyes and opened them, trying to remember what was happening. But I was confused and my body was numb and nothing made sense.

"Y/N, sweetie, can you hear me?"

I turned my head, realising I was laying in a bed. There was a woman beside my bed – a doctor, I presumed – staring down at me with a friendly smile on her face. I nodded slowly, my mouth dry.

I couldn't remember getting out of that cell, being rescued. Unless I wasn't rescued and this was still a trap.

At this thought, I widened my eyes and tried to move, panic setting in, but I was attached to a bunch of tubes and my body was still numb.

"Hey, it's okay, you're okay," the doctor tried to reassure, resting her hands on my arm, trying to keep me still. "You're safe here. You're on a S.H.I.E.L.D. quinjet. That's like a plane...? We got you out of that HYDRA cell and I've bandaged your wounds. You don't need to be afraid anymore."

I wasn't sure whether to believe her, but something about the way she spoke and the kindness in her eyes made me relax.

"My name is Agent Simmons," she introduced as she grabbed something from beside me, "but you can call me Jemma."

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. On cue, she held a glass of water towards me and helped me sit up enough to have some from the straw. It felt good to have actual water in my system after not being given anything the past two days.

"Not too quickly," she said gently. "Take your time."

I listened to her before laying back down. It took a few tries, but I managed to get out, "Thank you, Jemma. I'm Y/N."

"Y/N Y/L/N, investigative journalist for the New York Times," she stated before an apologetic expression crossed her face. "Sorry. Facial recognition an' all... I hope that doesn't freak you out."

I sighed, not the slightest bit surprised. I knew enough about S.H.I.E.L.D. to know they had the resources to know exactly who I was.

"I don't remember you getting me," I said with confusion. "How did you I know I was there?"

Jemma took a seat on the stool beside my bed. "Well, technically it was Quake who got you out. We had reports of HYDRA activity in that area for a while and we knew an American journalist had been taken, but we didn't know it was you."

I nodded, though I was still confused. "Who's Quake?"

Jemma chuckled, thinking I was joking. But when I met her eyes with confused ones, she lost her smile.

"You're serious? You don't know who Quake is?"

I shook my head. "I've been in Myanmar for nine months, and not in the most advanced areas. I haven't had much access to American news."

"Seriously?" she asked with disbelief, before putting her arms out and shaking them. "Earthquake-causing, vibration-manipulating, tremor-shaking superhero Quake?"

I raised an eyebrow judgementally, making Jemma lower her arms sheepishly.

"Oh, well, she's a hero that works for S.H.I.E.L.D.," she explained.

I nodded slowly, deciding that was something to ask more about later on. For now, I was more concerned about my story.

"You said S.H.I.E.L.D. had been watching that area for a while," I recalled. "Does that mean you found out what happened to the missing villagers? I got as far as working out HYDRA had been using them for some sort of forced labour, but never beyond that."

Jemma got up from her stool and busied herself with other things. "I, er, that's actually classified...? You see, it's not good if we tell you, especially as you're a journalist..."

"But it's my story," I countered with annoyance. "I've been trying to work this out for almost a year. I deserve to know the outcome. Did you save those villagers? Were they all alive? Did the local authorities know?"

Jemma seemed to be getting uncomfortable the more questions I asked and I forced myself to sit up, groaning at the ache in my shoulder.

"You can't hide this from me," I told her. "Please, just tell me."

She grimaced. "It's not my place. I'm not in charge–"

"Then tell me who is!" I shouted with frustration, before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I just– I've put a lot of work into this and it can't just be taken away. I need to know what happened."

She nodded, avoiding my eyes for fear I'd get angry again. "Look, I can talk to my superiors and find out what I can say. For now, you should really be resting."

I leaned back and breathed out slowly, already feeling my fatigue catching up to me.

"Okay," I said quietly, before asking, "You said we were on a plane. Where are we going?"

"That's actually classified as well," she said regretfully, making me sigh. "We're going to our headquarters. But after that, we'll be taking you home or wherever you want us to take you."

At the mention of home, I grew hopeful. It had been so long since I'd been back. I wasn't exactly in the right state to be living by myself, so I was glad that I had made the choice to leave my flat and move in with my parents before leaving for Myanmar. Plus, I had missed them dearly. To be back there was almost unimaginable.

"Can I ring my parents?" I asked hopefully. "Just to let them know I'm okay? And that I'm coming soon?"

Jemma nodded, offering a small smile. "Of course, Y/N. I'll go grab you a phone."

She left the room momentarily and I took that as my chance to get a good look around. It looked like a hospital room you'd find anywhere, except without windows and with card-activated doors that had tiny glass windows showing a narrow hallway. I didn't get to look around for too long as Jemma returned pretty quickly, handing me (what looked like) a normal mobile phone.

"I'll give you a moment of privacy, but please only call your parents," Jemma warned as politely as she could.

I cracked a small smile. "What – are you guys tracking the phone or something?"

She chewed on her lower lip as she looked down, making my smile fade as I realised that's exactly what they were doing. I wasn't surprised, I guess.

"Right, okay, no other calls, got it," I agreed with a nod.

She left me to it as I dialled my mum's mobile number and eventually spoke to both her and my dad. It was emotional to say the least, as I tried not to worry them too much without withholding the truth. They knew when I was lying so it was better to just be honest. Of course, they were happy to have me stay at theirs until I was back on my feet and the call ended with my mum scolding me for not resting as the doctor recommended.

Finally succumbing to the tiredness I was feeling, I fell asleep for God knows how long, but when I woke up, I felt more refreshed. Similar to before, Jemma was in the room, checking some charts. She caught my eye when I woke up and smiled reassuringly.

"Feeling better?" she asked, setting down the chart and rounding the bed.

I nodded. "Yeah, thanks... how long was I asleep for?"

"About six hours," she guessed, waving her hand. "We've landed at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ and our agents are debriefing. Once everything is sorted here, we can take you home to New York and arrange a driver to take you to wherever you want."

"My parents' house," I clarified.

She smiled and nodded. "Right. Your parents' house. How are you feeling?"

I tried to sit up and she helped me as I smiled gratefully in return.

"I'm not gonna lie, being shot hurts like a bitch," I admitted, grimacing as I glanced at my shoulder and arm in a sling.

"First time?"

"And hopefully the last," I retorted, before looking to her. "How long will this take to, y'know, get better?"

"Well, I'll need to keep you here for observation over the next few days," she explained. "When I'm happy with the outcome, I'll send you home and you'll need fortnightly checkups at the hospital. Overall I'd say a month? Maybe more if there's no... er... other issues."

"I know you mean PTSD," I told her bluntly, before frowning. "Doing what I do requires knowledge of that."

"There's going to be support available for you, both here and back home," Jemma reassured, resting a hand on mine and offering a small smile. "You're not alone, Y/N."

I nodded, clearing my throat. "I know... I know. Thanks."

She nodded and moved to the other side of the room to grab something, before wheeling a tray of food over to me.

"Hope you're hungry," she joked. "It's nothing fancy, but it's pretty good."

I smiled and accepted the food. "Means a lot, thanks."

I took a bite out of my sandwich as I remembered something. When I finished chewing, I wiped my face with the napkin before looking to Jemma who was at her desk.

"Er, Jemma," I called, making her look up. "Did you find out what happened to the villagers?"

She pursed her lips and nodded. "I've spoken to my superiors. I know you've been working on this and I'm only permitted to tell you so much."

I waited patiently, not wanting to snap at her like last time.

"The missing villagers were in fact taken by HYDRA, like you predicted," she explained. "They were forced into labour at a facility that was under the guise of a food warehouse."

"What was the labour?" I asked curiously.

She ran a hand through her hair. "I can't tell you much, but I can say that it was a nuclear weapon that could've hurt a lot of people. S.H.I.E.L.D. managed to stop it before they could finish it, which is when we found out that a journalist had been taken. That was when we came for you."

I released a deep breath, definitely not expecting that. At least they had been stopped.

"Did the missing people return to their families? Were they okay?" I asked hesitantly, remembering the many families I spoke to of the missing. I'd grown attached and I don't think I could have taken more bad news.

"Most of them, yes!" she exclaimed hopefully, but I could tell the following news wouldn't be good. "But not all of them were okay. There's some psychological damage and unfortunately physical damage, too. HYDRA did a number on them."

I massaged my head with my right hand, trying not to get upset, but the guilt in the pit of my stomach wasn't helping. I had one job, literally, and I couldn't even do it right.

"Y/N–"

"Do you have a list?" I asked, cutting her off. "A list of who made it?"

"Y/N, I don't think–"

"Please," I pleaded. "I spoke to the families of those who were missing. I got to know them. I need to know who's not getting their loved ones back."

She frowned, but nodded slowly. "I'm sure I can do something."

I sighed and my shoulders sunk with disappointment. Just another day on the job.

—

It had been a few days since being rescued by S.H.I.E.L.D. and I was itching to get home, but Jemma insisted I be observed for at least another day.

Under different circumstances, I would have been eager to explore the quinjet and get more information out of Jemma about her place of work, but I was too exhausted to care. Instead, I revelled in being taken care of and having a break from work.

I was laying in bed, reading a book, when Jemma walked in and caught my attention. I tried not to bother her as she was clearly working on other stuff, but it got pretty boring sitting in a room by yourself all day.

"Hey," I greeted with a smile, lowering my book.

"Hello," she returned as she took a seat at her desk, going on her computer. "You doing alright?"

"As alright as I can be, considering," I said, shrugging with my right shoulder. "Just a bit bored."

"The book not good?" she asked, nodding to my hand.

"I've read it," I admitted. "I just didn't wanna be a bother and ask for another one."

She chuckled. "You could have said something."

"It's okay," I assured her, before leaning back. "So, up to anything fun?"

She gave me a knowing look. "Are you seriously that bored?"

I nodded, pursing my lips, making her laugh. Eventually, she stared at me curiously.

"There's actually something I wanted to ask you," she admitted, crossing her arms and leaning back on her chair. "If you don't mind."

Wanting any distraction from my boredom, I nodded. "Go for it. I'm all ears."

"I've been reading some of your work," she shared. "You're really talented and you've been through your fair share of tough scrapes."

I chuckled. "I guess, yeah. And thank you. What's the question exactly?"

She looked at me like it was obvious. "What made you want to do this as a job? Investigative journalism?"

I played with the corner of the book as I answered thoughtfully, "Well, I guess I've always enjoyed writing and delving deep into stuff. The important stuff, y'know?" I looked down at my hands as I remembered Skye. "There was actually this girl I knew back in school. She was a friend and she, er... she was always wanting to find and expose truths. About herself, the world... I guess she kind of influenced me in a way."

I chewed on the inside of my mouth as I remembered my hallucination. Skye seemed to be coming up a lot more in my life lately, more than I was prepared for.

"I'm guessing she isn't with you anymore," Jemma realised, expression softening. "I'm sorry."

I forced a small smile, looking up and shaking my head reassuringly. "It's okay, it doesn't matter."

Jemma smiled in return, but I could see the pity present in her eyes. "I'm sure whoever she was, she'd be proud of you now. For everything you've done."

"Thank you, Jemma, but I... I'm not too sure about that."

"I am."

I froze at the sound of a familiar voice. Was I hallucinating again? No, that couldn't be. I was getting better. But that sounded so real...

"Proud of you, that is," the voice continued, and I risked looking towards the door where I saw none other than Skye standing there with a nervous smile on her lips.

When I met her gaze, I knew she wasn't a figment of my imagination. Those piercing brown eyes couldn't be fake.

"Hey," she got out, barely a whisper.

I licked my lips and tried to look away, but my heart was suddenly racing in my chest. She was just how I saw her last, but I guess that had been real now.

"I should give you guys a moment," Jemma said, pulling me from my reverie and making me look away.

She walked out, past Skye, leaving us both alone. I was still in shock though, too startled to say anything.

"How are you?" she asked gently, and I still couldn't believe I was hearing her voice after all these years. When I didn't say anything, she continued, "I know this is strange, but–"

"Strange?" I finally found my words, eyebrows raised. "What exactly is strange? The part where I'm sure I'm seeing a ghost right now as I you presumed you were dead after not being able to find you for years after you left, or the part where you've probably been at S.H.I.E.L.D. the whole time and didn't bother to tell me you were okay? Which part is strange exactly?"

She frowned guiltily, eyes falling to her shoes. "When I left–"

"Ran away," I corrected her, bitterness slashing through like a sharp knife, surprising the both of us.

She glanced at me, nodding. "Right... when I ran away, I left you a message."

I almost laughed, a sarcastic smile on my lips. "Don't even get me started on the excuse veiled as a message you left me. The cowardly way out you took because you couldn't face me."

She met my gaze nervously. "I didn't think you'd be this angry after all this time. It happened so long ago."

"Of course I'm angry!" I shouted with frustration, making me grimace at the pain in my shoulder, but I didn't stop. "You left without a single trace of Skye or Mary left behind! You left me with nothing but concern for your wellbeing! I thought you were dead!"

I hadn't realised how I angry I was after all this time, but it made sense. When she first left, I always imagined what I would say to her when I found her again, what our reunion would be like. But when the years went on and I accepted she was truly gone, all of that worry turned into bitterness and resentment. And now, seeing her here... I was furious.

"Y/N, I know you're upset, but–"

"Just get out," I told her with a glare. "I appreciate you saving me and all, but get out."

"Y/N," she pleaded, but I looked away and pressed the button on the side of my bed.

Jemma soon returned and looked between Skye and I with confusion and reluctance.

"Everything okay here?" she asked.

I looked up and met Skye's guilt-filled gaze. "My shoulder hurts."

Skye seemed to get the hint and nodded once more before finally leaving the room. I breathed out a shaky breath, before swallowing the lump in my throat and letting Jemma help me.

I couldn't believe she was back.

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

[marshmallow-xphile]

My thoughts on the sexuality of some of my favorite X-files characters.

I posted this in my X-files amino back in June as part of a LGBTQ pride challenge and for some reason I only just thought to post it here as well.

Fox Mulder: openly bisexual

Mulder is so open sexually that I really don't think gender matters all that much to him. He does seem to prefer females but I wouldn't be even remotely surprised if he had a boyfriend or two in the past. I don't think he's flamboyant about his sexuality but I don't think he'd hide it at all either

My evidence:

In the season one episode "Ghost in the Machine" we meet an Mulder's ex-partner, Jerry, and I absolutely feel like there is an ex-lovers vibe to the both of them. They hug upon first seeing each other, Mulder looks incredibly happy to see him, when Mulder says they worked together Jerry corrects him to say they were partners at which point Mulder looks over at Scully as if to see her reaction. Mulder has this real guilty look to him. When Jerry acts a little self conscious Mulder is real quick to jump in and reassure him. They get in each other's personal space. It just really leaves me with the impression that they care deeply for one another and broke up for other reasons, perhaps the different career goals as Mulder tells Scully.

We also have Mulder with Krycek. From the very beginning of Krycek's involvement with the X-files I feel like the writers went out of their way to make a correlation between the change in partnership and a new partner in a relationship. There is a scene in Sleepless where Mulder and Scully are on the phone and Mulder tells Krycek he'll be right there, the rest of the conversation feels reminiscent of two exes chatting about the change brought about by the new relationship. Scully even brings up that it must be nice having a partner who doesn't question his every theory.

There were many scenes in Sleepless, Duane Barry, and Ascension in which Mulder and Krycek were alone but that we never got to see who knows for example what the two of them got to talking about while they were stuck in traffic during the drive to New York in Sleepless. Or how often they hung out between Sleepless and Duane Barry.

During Mulder and Scully's partnership Mulder only called her 'Dana' on a few emotional occasions. He started casually calling Krycek 'Alex' almost immediately.

Let us not forget the infamous speedo scene. While yes it definitely showed more of a Krycek attraction to Mulder than the opposite. It does make one wonder what led him to wear such a revealing bathing suit. How many straight men do you know who wear speedos? My guess is few. How many straight men wear speedos when they can reasonably assume their male partner will show up looking for them? Not many would be guess.

And then there is their relationship after Krycek is revealed to be a traitor. They both tend to act more like scorned lovers than enemies and notice that it's Mulder, not Krycek, who cannot seem to keep his hands off the other. Seriously it's like every time Krycek shows up, Mulder immediately grabs him.

Now here's a couple quotes from Mulder,

Krycek tells Mulder he most be losing it because Krycek beat him with one hand. Mulder's immediate reaction: "isn't that how you like to beat yourself?"

When the little man in Humbug is lined up pretty much exactly with Mulder's crotch he says that Mulder would be surprised how many women find his size alluring. Mulder's immediate reaction: "you'd be surprised how many men do as well"

How many straight guys do you know comfortable enough with their sexuality to make a gay innuendo? I personally cannot think of any.

Dana Scully: bicurious

I believe that Scully is sometimes attracted to women. It definitely is not as blatant as with Mulder and I really don't think she's had any past girlfriends but I definitely think that there is an attraction.

My evidence:

In the episode "Ice" I really felt like there are a few tender moments between her and Felicity Huffman's character especially while they were examining one another for the worms. That examination had a sort of sexual energy to it I thought.

In the episode "kill switch" theres a moment where the Invisagoth asked if she could have her handcuffs removed or if she should type with her tongue. Mulder mentions that she doesn't want a vote there and the look on Scully's face and the way she licks her lips, I definitely get the impression that she would have been perfectly happy to see what Invisagoth could get up to with that tongue.

Some people point to Scully's relationship with Reyes as evidence of her bisexuality, I personally don't see any attraction there on Scully's side but I don't think its outside the realm of possibility.

Monica Reyes: Closeted lesbian

This one's probably a surprise I know there was something between here and Brad as well as a flirtation with Doggett so you would probably think she was Bisexual but honestly was either one of those even remotely convincing? To me they weren't. I believe that Reyes is a lesbian.

I kind of go back and forth on whether she's open about it. Reyes is very spiritual and open so it seems strange that she would be in the closet but maybe she has a reason, fear of it affecting her career in the FBI perhaps? It just seems strange that she keeps pursuing these heterosexual relationships she has no passion for unless she is trying to hide her true passion.

My evidence:

I admit I really have very little evidence but look at the relationship between Reyes and Brad Follmer. It had all the chemistry of two people who got really drunk once and cannot remember sleeping together. I don't for a second believe she was ever in love with Brad nor he in love with her.

Then you've got the same thing between her and Doggett. Yes the writers were obviously trying for a romantic angle with the two of them but to me it never came across as convincing. It seemed more like she thought of him as a good friend and figured she might as well date him, I saw no evidence of love or attraction.

On the other hand look at her and Scully. While I feel like the attraction there was one sided I definitely feel like Reyes was into Scully or Dana as she would call her. Reyes was willing to risk her life for Scully and yes that is her job after all but Reyes seems to take that above and beyond and it's not just Scully herself but also William. Look at how protective Reyes is of William in The Truth and of the sacrifice Scully made in giving him up. She seems to care even more than Mulder on that.

Cigarette-Smoking-Man: Asexual

CSM has probably had sex at some point, he is of course the father of at least three children but I do not think that he was ever in love with any of these women or even attracted to them. I believe they were all just a means to an end.

I believe that CSM's only love was for his cigarettes

Evidence:

There is a little bit of evidence that he might have actually felt something for Teena Mulder but I don't buy it. He freely admits that he felt nothing for Cassandra Spender but he must've been convincing if he got her to marry him and we have seen him fake emotions more than once. He also seemed to show an attraction to Scully in En Ami but that too was just a means to an end. Perhaps he does feel something towards all the women he has impregnated but I wouldn't call it love. I don't see any real attraction there either. My bet is that CSM needed some "help" in order to produce his offspring.

Alex Krycek: Gay

While Krycek did have an obviously sexual relationship with Marita Covarrubias he definitely didn't have any real feelings for her and I don't buy attraction either. No I'd say they were both just trying to use sex to get what they wanted. His anger at finding the Russian boy gone wasn't because he was heartbroken at her betrayal. Merely mad that she'd managed to get the upper hand.

Whether Krycek is open or in the closet I'm not sure, I'm thinking it probably depends on the mission hes on at the time.

Evidence:

Of everyone on this list I'd say Krycek is the one I'm the most sure of. There is no doubt in my mind that Krycek was attracted to, perhaps even in love with, Fox Mulder. From the very beginning there appeared to be a bit of longing in his eyes.

There was the speedo scene wherein Krycek was definitely checking Mulder out. There were several scenes where Krycek could've killed Mulder but chose to help him instead.

As I've seen pointed out before, Krycek's crazy motivational choices don't make any sense at all unless it's all in an effort to be around Mulder more.

Look at his sense of style and his obvious love for lip gloss. I am not saying that straight men cannot love lip gloss and dress themselves in Krycek's fashion but it is uncommon and it was especially so back in the 90s

The infamous kiss in The Red and the Black could certainly be explained away as some kind of Russian custom but it isn't one that I am aware of and he hasn't really shown any other signs of his Russia heritage.

I would say my best evidence of Krycek's sexuality is in Essence and Existence, just look at the look on Krycek's face when Mulder trusts him to protect Scully. Krycek knows what Scully means to Mulder and then look at how seriously Krycek takes the job! I definitely feel like that moment meant a lot to him and he would have protected Scully with his life for Mulder.

There's also the fact that Krycek's unwillingness to kill Mulder lead to his own death.

Of course asking Skinner to shoot Mulder goes against this theory but I do have a couple thoughts on that, the most sensical being that he knew there was no chance Skinner would shoot Mulder and he probably knew there was no chance he would survive anymore. Maybe he made that request in hopes of sparing Mulder any pain he might have otherwise felt at his death (I know it's a bit of a stretch but my other theories require a long explanation of my thoughts on where the series had planned to go next)

The lone gunmen: no one knows....not even them

Three (I don't count Jimmy for this) single adult men who all live together in very cramped quarters and are, at least in Langley's case, perfectly happy to be around each other without thier clothes on certainly makes it seem like there's something between them all but I really don't get a overtly gay impression with any of them, even Langley who as mentioned doesn't like to wear pants and is the only one who hasn't had a love interest. They just have this sort of Vegas-esque thing. "What happens in the bachelor pad/newspaper room stays in the bachelor pad/newspaper room.

I would love to hear other people's thoughts on these and any other X-files characters you think might be somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum.

[itsadamcole]

handsome stranger

fem!reader x drew mcintyre

Drew has just moved next door to the reader and noticed her sitting in the window alone on Christmas Eve watching the snow fall ... "hi, i couldn't help but notice you were alone."

word count: 3.8k+

warnings: soft smut, some fluff, cute moments, idrk what else

— day fourrr. i’m doing good and trying my best here to get one christmas / holiday / winter themed imagine up everyday. feel free to send in any requests if you want one written —

masterlist || request an imagine here

~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~

You sit on the little window sill in your living room, holding a mug of hot chocolate in your hand. You watch as the snow falls from the sky.

Snow is so beautiful. Especially the fluffy white kind. It makes everything shimmer and sparkle, and it's the only thing that makes the holiday season bearable.

Your knees are pulled up to your chest and your arms are wrapped around your knees. You're wearing your comfortable Christmas pajamas, considering it is Christmas Eve.

Christmas music plays in the background as you remember the times you spent dancing with your fiancée in the living room, lit only by the fireplace. Now, you sit alone, with the only light coming from the fireplace.

It's been three years since he left, but it hurts knowing that you spent seven Christmases and seven New Years with him just for him to leave you for someone he met at the gym.

You watch as a silhouette walks alone in the snow on the sidewalk outside of your house. The silhouette stops at the stairs leading up to your house.

The silhouette walks up the stairs and as it gets closer, you realize that it's about six foot five with jeans, sneakers, and a hoodie. You get up when the doorbell to your house rings.

After setting the mug of hot chocolate down on the coffee table, you walk to the front door. You open it, revealing a very handsome stranger. He says, "Hi, I couldn't help but notice ya were alone."

He has an accent but you can't put a finger on where it could be from. You lean against the door as you try to figure out what kind of accent he has and say, "It's not unusual."

"No one should be alone on Christmas," the handsome stranger says.

You blink and say, "You're alone on Christmas. Well, you were walking alone, anyway."

He laughs a little bit and says, "That I was. I like the snow. It's peaceful and reminds me a lot about Scotland."

That accent did sound a lot like a Scottish accent but you weren't sure. It has an American twist to it though.

"Scotland," you echo. "You're a little far from home."

The handsome stranger nods and says, "I am. I just moved in, right over there." He points to the house right next to yours. "I can't afford to fly back home this year because I just bought the house so I am also alone this Christmas."

You look back at your empty house and say, "I just made hot chocolate if you'd like to come in. Maybe we don't actually have to be alone this Christmas. It'd be a nice change actually." You move to the side.

He flashes you a kind smile and walks into the house. You close the door, rubbing your arms to warm them up. You walk back into the kitchen, pouring a mug of hot chocolate for your guest. "Would you like marshmallows or whipped cream?" you ask.

"Whipped cream sounds nice," he says. "Thank ya." You nod and put some whipped cream on top of the hot chocolate in the mug. You offer him the mug and he takes a sip.

The hot chocolate is more lukewarm than hot so he won't burn his tongue.

After he sips the hot chocolate, he has whipped cream in his mustache and on his nose. You giggle a bit and say, "Um, you have whipped cream on your nose."

"Oh," he says. "Do I?"

You smile and say, "Here. Let me get it." You grab a clean cloth off the counter and wipe away the whipped cream. "There. It's gone now."

The handsome stranger smiles down at you and says, "Thank ya."

You put the cloth down and give him a little nod before leaving the kitchen and walking into the living room to grab your mug. The nameless but handsome stranger follows you.

"I never caught your name," you point out as you turn to face him.

He laughs softly before saying, "I never threw it, but it's Drew. Drew McIntyre."

You smile and say, "Y/N L/N. How long have you lived here? I can tell you have an American accent mixed with the Scottish accent."

Drew sips his hot chocolate and says, "I've lived here off and on since the better part of thirteen years or so, since 2007."

You've sat down on the couch by this point. Drew joins you as you ask, "What do you do that keeps you in America?"

Hesitantly, he says, "I'm a professional wrestler for WWE. I'm actually WWE Champion right now."

"WWE," you echo. "My brother has always wanted to wrestle for WWE and has gone to every tryout but never got signed. He's in Ring of Honor and PWG right now. I've never been into wrestling. I'm more of a softball person. I played in college."

Drew says, "Maybe I get help get yer brother through the door in WWE. I might be able to get him signed to at least NXT but he's gotta prove himself."

You smile and say, "You'd do that for him?"

The handsome stranger nods as he takes another sip of his drink. "Yeah," he says. "I'd like to see him wrestle though so I know that he can actually wrestle."

"He'd love that," you say. "Thank you. I'll call him tomorrow."

Drew nods and says, "Of course."

You smile and take another sip of your hot chocolate.

It's quiet for a few moments before Drew asks, "What do ya do? Like work-wise."

"I'm a fashion designer," you say. "For Gucci. It's a job that I love and it's kept me sane in the past few years. I'd like to open my own shop one day."

He takes a sip of his hot chocolate and says, "That sounds like a lot of fun. Ya must have a very creative mind in that pretty head of yers."

Your face heats up a bit and you say, "Yeah, you can say that." You let out a light laugh. "I try to be creative, anyway."

Drew looks at you for a second before an idea pops into his head and he asks, "Would ya like to design some new ring fer me? I've been needing some new gear and have never really found anyone that I'd trust enough to design some new gear."

You raise your eyebrows at the Scot and say, "You just met me and have already offered to help my brother get into WWE and now you're asking me to help design new ring gear for you? I don't know you well enough to design gear for you."

The handsome stranger says, "It's just an offer. Ya don't have to take it."

"I'd love to but I'd like to get to know you a little bit more before I design anything," you say.

He smiles and says, "I can agree with that. We have all night."

You smile and echo, "All night."

Honestly, you don't mind spending all night with Drew. All night with Drew is better than being alone. Especially on Christmas.

The two of you sip hot chocolate for hours. He explains his journey to the WWE, getting fired then working his way back to WWE, becoming NXT Champion and eventually WWE Champion. It's a long journey but his hard work paid off in the end.

You explain how you got into designing and everything. You always were into fashion and clothes. You majored in fashion design in college while minoring in business and accounting. You omit the part about having a fiancée and him leaving you three years ago.

Drew listens to every word you say and you answer every question he has. You do the same to him, and he answers every question you have for him.

After about two hours of sitting and talking, Drew asks the question you've been dreading.

"What made ya end up alone on Christmas? Don't ya have family?" he asks.

You sigh and say, "I lost both my parents when I was in college in an accident. I have no aunts or uncles or cousins. I have my brother but he's married with kids. I had a fiancée but he left three years ago so I've kind of just been alone on Christmas since."

He waits until you're done talking to say anything.

Once you've said all that you want to, Drew says, "Ya have just been through the wringer, haven't ya?"

You scoff a bit and say, "Through the wringer is an understatement."

Drew asks, "What can I do to help? I can't imagine how ya feel with it being Christmas and ya sitting here alone in this house."

You stare at Drew and say, "You want to help me?"

The handsome stranger nods and says, "Name it and I'll make it happen."

You think for a moment before you say, "Show me some of your matches. I want to see you wrestle. Distract me."

He smiles and pulls up one of his matches on his phone. You move closer to him so you can see easier. It's from Wrestlemania 36. Night two.

"This was when I won my title for the first time," he explains as both his and his opponent's entrances are made. "It's my favorite and the most important match of my career."

You watch as he wins the match and the title in about five minutes. You're a little distracted by the fact that he's wearing practically nothing.

Drew looks at you occasionally as you watch to see your eyes fixated on him on the screen, almost watching in awe. He smiles a bit.

Once the Wrestlemania match is over, he puts on the Royal Rumble match. You ask, "What's this match?"

"It's the match I had to win to face the WWE Champion at the time at Wrestlemania," he explains as it starts. "If I won, which I did, then I can challenge whichever champion I'd like. I chose Brock Lesnar and the WWE Championship."

You watch the long match. When Drew enters, you find yourself biting your lip. You can't help it. He's attractive when he's in the ring. He's attractive just sitting in a hoodie and jeans beside you.

Around entry number 25, you look up at Drew. He's looking down at you.

"You should show me some of these moves one day," you say quietly. His face is close to yours because of how close you are sitting to him.

He smiles a bit and asks, "Which ones?"

You meet his eyes and say, "The ones where you'd pin me to something." Drew's tongue swipes across his bottom lip.

Your heart rate has picked up as you get closer and closer to kissing the handsome stranger.

Drew's voice drops a tone and says, "Now, now, Miss L/N. We've only just met."

He just got a thousand times more attractive by doing that with his voice. Not to mention he's the most selfless human you've ever met. He's obviously very kind. He saw you were alone and offered to spend all night with you.

All this has happened in a span of three or four hours.

You tilt your head up and say, "I said to distract me." You bite your bottom lip gently.

"That's very true," he says, putting his phone down. The eye contact continues.

Drew licks his bottom lip again as the tension continues to build between the two of you. Your heart continues to race in your chest.

You have no idea what's about to happen but it's been three years since you've been this close to anyone. You won't mind whatever comes next.

Your voice has almost dropped to a whisper. "So," you say. "How about showing me some of these moves?"

Drew gives a little smirk before, in one swift movement, he gets you on your back. He's straddling your waist and pinning your wrists to the couch. You stare at him with wide eyes.

"Woah," you gasp.

He laughs a bit and says, "Ya did ask me to show ya some of the moves where I pin ya."

You say, "Mhm. I did ask you to do that."

Drew smiles and gets off of you. You sit up and face him.

An idea pops into your head and you literally pounce on Drew, pinning him on his back on the couch. You know he could very easily flip you over so you try to put all your weight onto him. All 130 pounds of you.

"Hm," he says. "Not too bad."

You giggle and say, "My brother did practice on me a little bit. Just a little bit."

He smiles and says, "I know a move that he definitely didn't practice on ya."

You raise your eyebrows and ask, "What would that be?"

Drew leans up and kisses you. You gasp a little bit before kissing him back.

As you share the kiss with Drew, he rolls so he's pinning you to the couch again. You stare up at him, pouting. "That's not fair," you whine. "I was distracted."

He laughs and says, "Ya told me to distract ya."

You pout some more as Drew looks down at you. "You can't just kiss someone then pin them to the couch," you say.

The kiss was something you haven't experienced since your fiancée left. Yes, you've kissed people since your fiancée said goodbye but none of those kisses felt like the kiss you just shared with Drew.

Speaking of Drew, he sits up and pulls you up with him. You throw your legs across his lap and look at him.

"Can I kiss ya again?" he asks. "So I can make it up to ya?"

You say, "You don't have to ask to kiss me, Drew."

Drew's lips come down to yours. The kiss is as soft and as slow as it was before. Hesitantly, you put your hands on his face, cupping his cheek.

That's when you feel the soft ache in your core from Drew pinning you to the couch. It was so hot. You could barely contain yourself when he pinned you not once but twice to the couch.

One of Drew's hands rests on your thigh extremely close to your core. You take his hand and pull back from the kiss. You both look at his hand in yours before you move his hand so it's resting on your core.

Hopefully, the handsome stranger can't feel how wet you are for him over your pajama pants.

"What do ya want, Y/N?" he asks softly, his accent thick. "Tell me what ya want."

You meet his eyes and say, "I want you to kiss me, touch me. I want you."

That's all Drew needs to hear before he pulls you onto his lap. You straddle his thighs and your lips are on his. You gently grind against him, a soft groan escaping his lips into your mouth.

Your hands snake up the front of Drew's hoodie. You find he's wearing just the hoodie on his upper body. You can feel his toned stomach and hairy chest. You run your fingers down his chest before you decide to pull off his hoodie.

Drew helps you pull off the piece of clothing. As soon as it's off, you press kisses to his neck and chest. His fingers run through your hair.

His fingers have found their way up the back of your shirt, pushing the fabric up. Nervously, you pull off your pajama shirt, fully exposing your upper body to Drew.

You watch as his tongue swipes across his bottom lip as he eyes your naked upper body.

This is very nerve-wracking. You haven't been with anyone since your fiancé left. This is the first time you've even been half-naked around anyone else.

Drew sees your hands begin to shake and he takes them in his. "We don't have to do anything, Y/N," he says, meeting your eyes.

"No I want to," you say, sighing. "It's just, I haven't been with anyone like this in years. It's making me nervous."

He smiles at you and says, "Ya don't have to be nervous, Y/N. I don't bite unless ya ask of course."

Smiling, you say, "I might just take you up on that." Your nerves begin to wash away as Drew leans up, kissing you passionately. His hands are on your bare lower back, pushing you into him and holding you there.

"Drew," you mumble. "Let's not make a mess on my cushions."

He pulls back and asks, "Take this upstairs?"

You nod. He picks you up as he stands up. You giggle and wraps your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. You leave soft kisses on his chest as he carries you upstairs.

Drew asks, "Which room?"

You look behind you and say, "The door at the end of the hallway. That's my room."

He walks quickly to your room before he walks in, quickly but carefully dropping you on the bed. You sit up and start to undo his belt and the button on his jeans before you pull the jeans down.

Drew is straining against his boxer shorts. You look up at him with your eyes before you trace his erect member over the thin piece of fabric.

You hook your fingers in the waistband of his boxers before slowly pulling the fabric down. You watch as his member pops out of the boxers, slapping up against his stomach. Your eyes widen as you wonder how you're going to take all of Drew.

Drew runs his fingers through your hair as he stands in front of you. You glance up at him before you take him in your hand. You lick his tip before starting to take him in your mouth.

Slowly, you bob your head up and down, going a little deeper every time you go down. Your hands are on his thighs and groans escape his lips as you start to suck.

His fingers run through your hair as he begins to thrust into your mouth slowly. You groan softly as he hits the back of your throat. Your nails dig into the skin on his thighs as you move your head.

After a few minutes of this, Drew pulls himself out of your mouth. He leans down and presses a kiss to your saliva covered lips. It was a messy job that made saliva drip down your chin and cover your lips.

He pushes you onto your back and gets on his knees at the foot of your bed. Drew hooks his fingers into the waistband of your pajama pants and panties before he pulls them off of you. You throw your legs over his shoulders as he kisses your thighs, moving closer and closer to your soaked folds.

You hold onto the blankets on your bed as Drew kisses your wet core. You sigh softly and arch your back off the bed.

Drew's tongue runs through your folds before he slips a finger into you. You moan softly as he pumps his finger in and out of you. He sucks on your clit and you moan louder, your hands finding their way into his long hair. You grip lightly as Drew adds a second finger.

"Drew," you moan. "Please."

He looks up at you with his eyes and asks, "Please what?"

You look down at him and say, "I need something other than your fingers. Please."

You pull lightly at his hair, wanting him on top of you. He smirks before taking his fingers out of you, making you whine slightly as you watch him step out of his jeans.

"Um," he says. "Protection."

Right. Protection. "Top drawer in the table next to the bed," you say. He nods and walks over to your bedside table. You move backward and sit up. Drew pulls a tiny shiny blue package out of the drawer, opening it up and sliding the contents on his member.

Drew crawls over to you and kisses you. You can taste yourself on his lips as he moves, laying on top of you between your legs. He positions himself outside of you and pulls back from the kiss.

He looks down at you and asks, "Do ya really want this?"

Nodding, you say, "I do. I really want this. I really want you."

After leaning down and kissing you again, he slowly slides himself into you. You moan into the kiss as he slides himself deeper into you.

Drew puts his hands on either side of your head and props himself up with his arms, breaking away from the kiss. You stare up at the Scotsman as he starts to thrust into you. You gasp and moan, gripping onto his arms and digging your nails into the skin on his arm.

His thrusts get faster and deeper into you. Your moans get louder and your back arches off the bed.

It's when he starts to slam into your g-spot you start to scream his name. Your hips chase his and your moans are loud.

"Drew!" you moan. "Don't stop, oh God. Please don't stop. Please."

You feel him start to get faster as your legs start to shake, being pulled closer and closer to your orgasm. You make a little 'O' with your mouth and Drew kisses your neck, marking it up a little bit.

Drew grunts and groans on top of you as his thrusts get harder. He continues slamming into your g-spot, making you moan louder than you have before. "God, Drew," you almost scream. "I'm close."

He mumbles against the skin on your neck, saying, "Come with me, Y/N. In three, two." Both of you release before he gets to one. You both moan out profanities and you moan Drew's name.

You lay on your back and catch your breath. That was amazing. You had no idea that Drew could do that.

A layer of sweat has formed on both of you as Drew rolls off of you, pulling off the condom and tying it off before throwing it away. You crawl under the blankets and Drew joins you.

"I never want to be alone on Christmas ever again after that," you sigh out, finally catching your breath.

Drew looks over at you and says, "Ya don't have to be. Next year, come over to my place and we can make a mess on my bed instead of you."

You giggle and press a soft kiss to Drew's lips, cuddling up to him and soon falling asleep in his arms.

[jaysevhls]

The Life I Had (pt.2) | Jay Halstead

Summary: Based on season 5, episodes 7 and 10. Jay is struggling with this undercover mission, while Y/N is trying to help him after Erin left him. Both of them are starting to realise their feelings for each other.

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

Author's note: Requests are open!

PART 1 | PART 3

It was time to go to work, when you got a message from Hailey that she'll pick you up, because you got a case. Since yesterday you were now at Adam's apartment, because when you moved to Jay, you decided to sell your apartment. You needed cash and it wasn't a necessary to have another one. You thought that it'll last longer than that, but well... Jay had different plans.

"I'll be back late, you can take my keys." Adam said when you walked into the kitchen.

"And why is that?"

"I'm working at something, don't worry." he hugged you, took his gun and badge and then left.

Hailey showed up few minutes later.

"What do we got?" you asked.

"Jay was undercover yesterday and he found a shooted girl. He's on the scene."

"Well, that's none of my business, but I'm pretty sure we've finished this case and there's no need to him be undercover."

"Yeah, I guess. Voight is already there, I don't know what we should expect." she said.

"I swear to god, if he got involved in something because of this girl, I'll end her." you said and closed the door behind you.

You followed Hailey to her car. After few minutes you were on the scene.

"What are you doing here?" Jay asked as you, Hailey and Voight showed up.

"Well, what are YOU doing here Jay? I'm pretty sure we've closed this case." Voight asked him, but you knew what the answer will be. Of course Jay was feeling something to this girl.

"I'm working. Camila Vega, she's my CI." he asked and looked at you.

"Since when? Did you put her in papers? you didn't want to listen this conversation. Walking by the few police officers, you decided to check the body and find some personal items like phone or wallet.

But there was nothing. Only cash.

"Y/N? Can we talk?" Jay appeared behind you as you were talking with other officer.

"What do you want? If I left something at your place I'll take it tonight, but I'm pretty sure I've got everything."

"Stop, no, I just... I really miss talking to you. I want to apologize Y/N." he looked at you and you felt tears willing up in your eyes. Why was this so difficult? You weren't together, you didn't break up... He was just a friend. And partner.

"I don't think it's a great place to have conversation like this. I can meet you tonight if you want."

"Okay, be at my place at 9pm." he tried to step forward and hug you, but you moved to the back. You didn't feel right, not now.

Even if you were still mad at him, you smiled when he walked away. It was painful being that far away from him, he meant so much to you, and it couldn't end up like this, but at the same time he needed to know that what he did was just wrong.

Time passed by and you decided to leave Adam's apartment and go visit Jay. This day wasn't that bad at all. Back at district you were talking a little bit more with him that usual, so that made you really happy.

You decided to take a walk to his apartment. It was close to Ruzek's apartment and there was no need to drive, besides, you thought that this night you both will end up drunk.

After few minutes you were chasing the hall. You checked your phone last time to saw if he sent something to you about cancelling your plans. You knocked on his door, but there was just silence. He didn't text you, you were just standing there knocking at his door.

"Hey, can you be more quiet? If he's not answering, maybe he just doesn't want to talk" some neighbor said.

"Sorry, I'll just go now." you answered. You stood there for second before storming out from building. When you felt the wind on your cheeks, you bursted into tears. He lied. He freaking lied, leaving you there alone.

You couldn't catch a breath, everything was so blurry. You didn't want to show up like this in Adam's place, so instead of going there, you went back to the district. It was late, the whole intelligence went homes, so no one would notice you there.

You sat on the couch in break room with tea in your hands. From nowhere Voight appeared confused, just standing and staring at you.

"Please just don't say anything, I can't handle more today." you said.

"What happened kiddo? I thought you went home with Adam." he walked closer.

"Yeah I did, but I forgot to do something here so I got back."

"Don't lie to me Y/N. You gave me your files, there's no reason for you to be here." he said. "So, you better gotta tell me what happened or I'm calling Adam."

"Halstead and I can't get along in past few weeks, we were supposed to meet today, but he just didn't show up and I can't go back to Adam place looking like this. I'll stay here for the night I guess."

"No way Y/N. Come on, you're going back to Adam, you're going to tell him what happened. I can't let you think that this is okay. Talk about everything what is bothering you kid."

"You're right I guess. But I'll go alone, I need to call someone before I got home."

"Okay, but I'm giving you 15 minutes, then I'll call Trudy to drive you on her own."

"Sure thing."

The next day, you arrived alone to the district. Team got a lead to a guy who were dealing with drugs and he supposed to meet that killed girl. After founding out that she was undercover as CIA agent just made this case the important things and it needed to be solved as soon as possible.

You smiled at Trudy when you got there and went straight upstairs.

"Club Echo? And Alex? I know him, I met him trough Camila." you heard Jay's voice as you appeared in bullpen."I can go under with Y/N." he continued.

"Take Hailey, I've got a work to do." you snapped at him and went to your desk. Voight looked at you and answered:

"Y/N, you're going. I need Hailey here." he said.

"But Serg-" of course he made this because of the last night and what you've told him.

"Go before you'll say too much." you stood up, grabbed your jacket and went after Jay.

The whole time there was a silence in the car. You said that you don't want to talk as you got in his truck and he just nodded.

After a while you were in Echo, searching for Alex.

"Hey man, thanks for meeting." Jay said.

"Ryan, hey! Who's that pretty lady huh?" Alex asked looking at you.

"Not your league. I'm his sister." you pointed with your head at Jay.

"So, I heard that you have something good for me."

"What are you talking about?" Alex laughed at Jay.

"Man, we y'all know that you're dealing. Camila told me."

"Yeah I do. What also did she said after that 20 minutes in the back of the club and whole night at her place huh?" you looked at Jay confused. He stood you up for her. He freaking lied to you because of her. He chose her over you.

"Alright, you want to know more than you should. Can we make a deal?" Jay asked.

"Sure, I'll call you when it'll be done." they said goodbyes and you went outside.

You couldn't believe that Jay really did that to you. After all these years.

"I can't believe..." you whispered.

"What Y/N?"

"You're sleeping with her. This entire time being "undercover" you were screwing up with her." you said.

"Y/N, it's not like that..."

"It's not like what? Like what Jay? You fucking lied to me. I was the one who waited for you for almost an hour in front of their apartment, because you were too busy fucking her! Was that worth it? Over all these things we had?

"I wanted to see you but it came out of nowhere and I needed to meet her and talk." he answered and walked closer.

"No, all you needed was to fuck her. That's what you wanted to do. All this time. And don't play being broken and alone Jay. I was the one who were with you all this time! I stayed the night with you, I moved in with you, because you needed help! I watched you almost die, cry every night, I was there, not her! And you're still treating me like this."

"Don't make it like this Y/N... Don't play innocent girl, you're saying that I'm making wrong choices but maybe look at yourself and ask if it's right to sleep around with Adam!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Life isn't perfect Y/N."

"Yeah, funny story that you were the one who broke me first." you said and walked away.

Part 3?

[fridge-reviews]

Boyfriend Dungeon

Developer: Kitfox Games Publisher: Kitfox Games Rrp: £15.49 (Steam) $19.99 (Itch.io) Released: 11th August 2021 Available on: Steam and Itch.io Played Using: An Xbox One Control Pad Approximate game length: 8 Hours

I have to say I wish the real world worked like it does in this game, whatever fears and insecurities you have just manifest in a dungeon in your local area and you can just go there and beat the tar out of them to get over it. That'd be great, especially since the monsters strictly stick to the dungeon and never ever leave. Not sure how I'd feel about people turning into weapons though that has all sorts of moral and social questions that I wouldn't want to think on for too long.

Before I start into the review proper I feel I need to make it known that I was one of the backers for this game on Kickstarter.

Y'know its been difficult trying to explain Boyfriend Dungeon to my friends. I mean, it sounds like some kind of BDSM themed hentai game which incidentally I do have one of those to review at some point but that's a while off. What Boyfriend Dungeon actually is is a dating simulator/visual novel combined with a isometric dungeon delver. It should be noted that even though this game is called 'Boyfriend' Dungeon you don't actually have to have a boyfriend, you could have a girlfriend or even a non-binary person... hell there's even the option of a cat eventually if you don't want to have a romantic relationship at all.

When you start the game you get to name and design your player character which includes an option to pick which pronouns you prefer (the default being they/them). Regardless of what pronouns you choose it doesn't place any limitations on who you can date. And if you later decide you want different pronouns, a new look or a new name you can change it all simply within your apartment.

The game is set in the town of Verona Beach (which I assume is the one in New York state). Your player character has come to visit for the summer and luckily has an apartment to live in rent free for the duration thanks to your very kind cousin. In short order your character discovers that apparently some people can turn into weapons and those that chose to make use of them (with consent) are given the title of wielder. Of course, just because the rent is free doesn't mean everything is paid for, you still need to eat after all (not that that's something you have to actually manage in the game). In yet another stroke of luck you can get make money by dungeon delving. It seems that dungeons filled with monsters have been appearing and they drop money when you kill them. They call this past time “dunj-ing”... a term I thoroughly disapprove of.

As you date and flirt with the weapon-people you increase their 'love rank'. Doing this unlocks new skills that each weapon has. Dependant on which weapon you take with you into the dungeon your combat style will change for example; the glaive is slower but more powerful while the daggers are quick but relatively weak on their individual strikes. As the weapons gain more skills and effect your tactics will change.

The monsters of the dungeon are manifestations of your fears and insecurities. In the player characters case they mainly seem to be old rotary telephones, flip phones and CRT televisions. The game will eventually tell you what the fear in question is if you defeat the dungeons final boss. If you happen to run out of health while in a dungeon (which is the only place you can lose health) you fall unconscious and are retrieved by paramedics. There isn't really a downside to this as all items and money found in the dungeon are kept. As you would expect with a dungeon delver as you fight you gain experience and eventually increase in wielder level. Since all the moves come from the weapons this increase doesn't change anything other increase your health pool and attack power.

While on dates (and in certain places within the dungeon) you can give gifts to your potential paramours, each one has their own likes and dislikes that you can work out through conversation and by just paying attention to what they like and don't like (similar to real life). What I found interesting is that unlike most dating sims I've come across its not you doing all the giving, sometimes your love interest will have a gift or two to give you as well.

You can find materials and blueprints in the dungeon to craft gifts and cosmetic items. That's right this game has crafting! Like every other game in existence it seems (sorry I'm just over inserting crafting into every game). It's perfectly functional and I like that quite a few of the cosmetic items you make are references to other games by Kitfox. I'm also slightly bemused by some of the items used in the crafting, I made a pizza using some wire and sugar, I'm pretty sure that's not what pizza is made out of, but what do I know?

Typically visual novels tend to be... verbose. That's not the case in this game, while it's all very well written its clear the developers wanted to keep things succinct and stuck to the most important and impactful parts. I do urge that if you play this game not to simply skip past all of this as there are some very heartfelt scenes and interesting aspects to the characters that are shown in these sections.

It must be mentioned that this games main plot (for it is not all about romancing the weapon-people) revolves around stalking, there are some warnings about this when you start a new game but they are vague and I know that on certain platforms you wouldn't be able to get a refund based on these. Personally I have no issue with the use of that theme but I know that some could find it problematic. I know that the game has been updated since the time of writing to be more specific in its content warnings but I honestly can't remember how the warnings looked previously to compare.

Is it worth your time? That's down to you. However, I had fun with the game enjoying every moment. I also know I'll be returning to it later once the developers release some of the other characters that were slated to be added in.

If this appeals to you perhaps try;

Analogue: A Hate Story Huniepop