#Already thinking about how the scene with this song will probably wreck me

[ughhhdavid]

And it will be JUST!!! AS QUIET!!!! WHEN I LEAAAAAVE!!!!!!

As it was. When i first. GOT HEREEEE!!!!

[mothercoconuts97]

I'm probably sooo late to the party on this but it occurred to me in the shower and gut punched me so now everyone else has to know about it

So obviously I'm a big Deadpool fan. Adore the comics, love the movies. Was super excited for Deadool & Wolverine, obvs. Fully expecting to cry my guts up in the theatre like I did for Deadpool 1 & 2. I really really enjoyed it (and the Honda Odyssey scene haunts my sex dreams) but I didn't get that same emotional reaction.

This scene here, in Deadpool 2? Fucking wrecked me. Every time I watch it, I sob. Wade goes through so so much to get Vanessa back, he loves her so much that he would travel through time for her. I can't overestimate how much this affects me; my wife and I even had the MTV Unplugged version of A-Ha's "Take On Me" as our first dance. It's our song, because Wade and Vanessa's love is as strong as ours.

I went into DP&W ready to sob if they took Vanessa away from Wade again. But they didn't, because that's how the movie starts. Wade's already lost Vanessa, and not because some bad guy took her away. It just...ended, like even the best relationships do. I didn't like that. How could Wade go through all of this, over 2 movies, to be with Vanessa, just for it to fall apart? (It may not help how strongly I identify with Wade and it seemed like they were saying my relationship too could fall apart one day through nobody's fault but mine, but that's another issue)

What finally snapped into place in my brain today is that, in DP&W, Wade's role is changed.

He still does the hero thing, naturally. But this time it's Logan who is risking it all to save Wade. Logan tears through a fkn steel door to get to Wade, to try help, or at least not let him die alone.

For once, Wade has someone defying impossible odds for him, he has someone risking their life for him. That's probably never happened before, at least for Movie Wade. Finally, someone is trying to save him, someone thinks he's worth saving (if we're working under the assumption I'm self-inserting here, we can agree that my trauma minefield of a brain didn't even see that as an option)

So, I left the cinema happy with the film, but a bit underwhelmed with the emotional climax. Wade kicked ass as usual, but he didn't squish my heart like a mushy tomato as he did before.

It took a loooong time but my brain finally caught up. I got the gut punch. Now I need to watch it again and be prepared to sob my eyes out

[hood-ex]

would you ever consider writing a follow up to your roadtrip logs that are a series of dick mourning jason? from pov red hood jason as he Feels Things ™

Oooh that's an interesting idea! I can probably come up with a few scenes for that. I can already imagine Dick grabbing a Coke and Cheetos (what Jason ate during their road trip) and sitting with them in some isolated part of New York. Doesn't even eat or drink anything. Just has them sitting next to him as he talks to the camera. And maybe he's listening to "Summer of 69" (same song Jason listened to in the car).

"I got around to reading Huckleberry Finn. You know how long it took me to get through it? Months, Jason, months. And maybe the book was better than the movie like you said, but my sanity sure suffered for it. I didn't know Mark Twain was from Missouri until I read it on the back cover. We went to the Missouri river, remember? Maybe we were standing in a spot Mark had been to before. That's pretty wild to think about, huh?"

More than anything, Jason is enraptured by Dick's watery smile. The way he speaks of Jason fondly. The way he still ribs Jason for things Jason used to say or do.

He sees the difficult tapes, of course. The ones where Dick's nostalgia spirals into grief. The self-blame. The guilt. The sorrow. It's like a car wreck he can't look away from.

He thinks about how Chemo fell on Bludhaven. How he didn't care if Dick was dead because he wanted Bruce's attention more than anything. He compares Dick's grief in the tapes over Jason's death to his own reaction to Dick's possible death in Bludhaven. It makes him squirm uncomfortably. It makes him feel kind of sick.

[sillylittleflower]

Sophiaaaaa!!! I know you have lots of great ones for this, but what is like your quintessential Wilmon song? If you've got time you can also name a couple more, hehe <3

Dbbekeleldkwjejd Simooooon <333 you know me wayyy too well and I probably will not know how to shut up about this once I've started!

I have to start with one that you obviously already know because it was you that recommended it to me which is Little death by +44 (the mirror scene in season 1 and this, it's just insane)

Then, one that is very Wilmon out of Wilhelm's perspective coded: Turning page by Sleeping at last!!!! "Nothing prepared me for what the privilege of being yours would do" "your love is my turning page where only the sweetest words remain" just this song is so ....like Wilhelm was so miserable in his position and he truly probably believed that's all his life could ever be, until Simon came around and he could even begin to question things

I have to mention a Finneas song because his songs literally are so yr coded. Lost my mind because it perfectly encapsulates how unhinged they are about each other. "Am I in your head half as often as you're on my mind? If i don't make sense please forgive me I can't sleep at night, at least not alone, not anymore, not since I found what I never went looking for"

Also very Wille in season 2 or maybe also towards the end of season 3 when they are broken up is Amar pelos Dois by Salvador Sobral. The lyrics are Portuguese but essentially it is about you being in love with someone and the other person not loving you back, so you go "I can love for the both of us" which is very much how I imagine Wille's mind to go when he thinks Simon is over him.

Also very much Wilmon while broken up coded imo is This is on me by Ben Abraham and Sara Bareilles. "Trying to break the fall some kind of wrecking ball we turned out to be" all this mess they found themselves in due to outside circumstances. "All I have is the hurt. Have I made him forget how to love me?" Wille believing Simon is over him. "And some phoenix may rise from these ashes but the fire comes first" that's like the whole series lol

Okayyyy I'll stop here or this will go even more out of hand than it already has oooops, I'm sorry. I could seriously probably go on forever

[theclosetedskeleton]

tell me about the self-ish characters pleas😞i do not care how long the post is /nf

GRAJ ALRIGHTY

gotta mentally think about what im gonna say uhhh

SELF- + -ISH

Okay so I imagine them to have been these twins who got,, fused together? something like that. Occasionally one or the other will take control or whatever of the fused body, and that's usually able to be told by the colors that they wear and slight difference in appearance. Both of them wish to be "themselves again", however there isn't really a way for them to be that again. They are the only character that I DONT have a design OR a name/names for, so I'm just gonna refer to each side as their song counterparts. Self- is calm, quiet and more so the emotional one of the two. -Ish is arrogant, worrisome and quick to jump to conclusions. I haven't thought abt separate identities for the two, although (both of) their pronouns are they/them.

2012

okay i actually have a name for this oc so i gotta dig up my sketchbook rq

OKAY BACK

(STOP WHY DO THE PROPORTIONS LOOK LIKE TAHT )

2012's real name is Morana. She's a Theorist, mainly trying to solve some of the wackiest mysteries that the universe she lives in has to offer, but mainly her own. Morana is struck with some sort of unknown illness, one that progressively gets worse. She doesn't remember how she got it, but she remembers when (guys this is gonna be a really hard one to answer,,, hmmmmmmm

she got the illness around 2012).

Her eyes appear abnormally, looking like black doll eyes. Many colorful cracks form on her skin eventually breaking to reveal her inner body. Its the worst on her face, with her having to cover it with a machine that allows her to see that kind of looks like a VR headset. The cracks and abnormalities will eventually lead to her death, and that's what Morana's trying to theorize about. She thinks that if nobody will know how she'll die, she'll figure it out herself before the time comes.

Bit of personality here -- Morana is a Talkative person, yet tends to be an anxious + nervous person. However, along with the Anxiety, she's driven by that (one of those people that are motivated BY anxiety). She's nonbinary, Bi, demisexual, and her pronouns are She/Her.

Cotards solution

Think abt that one friend in the friend group that's off the rails/pos

Loud, dramatic and forgetful a lot of the times, Cotards solution is yet a character shrouded with mystery. Resurrected by unknown forces, a man unknown by, well, everyone enters the scene. Cotards doesn't have a name (not bc I didn't think of one shhhh), mainly because nobody can put a name to the rotting face. He knows and believes he's dead, yet many people don't believe he is. He feels as if the body he has will be at peace if he's dead, because he already is, but everyone will believe he died just for the cause of it.

His body is translucent, and what shows underneath his skin are just his bones. Thats mainly because hes mainly a skeleton with magical counterparts giving him another life (he still has many human features though). Cotards dissociates a lot and tends to stop talking mid-sentence.

Cotards has a third eye. It tends to disappear and reappear, not necessarily with or without a reason. He constantly wears these red three-framed glasses for his eyes. Im not quite sure what else to add uhh. Cotards is gay and uses he/him pronouns.

Mr. Capgras

Mysterious, quiet, and a nervous wreck. Mr. Capgras, first name Victor, is probably the oldest of all of the SELF-iSH characters. Formerly an engineer, Victor struggles with visions and illusions of the sense. Consistently seeing ghosts and hearing voices, not to mention the everlasting fear of everyone being not who they say they are and that they're out to get him !? jesus christ,. someone go get him therapy NOW speaking emoji fire emoji!!!!

He's very paranoid, and will avoid almost any social interaction because of this. He also has really bad trust issues, not mainly bc of his fears, but also because once he gained this strange illness and paranoia, everyone in his life left him. He also gets visions of the same people (the same people in question turn out to be the other SELF-iSH ocs).

He has these blemishes and scars on his skin that don't heal, With beady black eyes like Morana's/2012's. They don't share the same canon illness, however (none of them do, minus one character that ill get to). He is constantly wearing those like. floral designed suits. or just suits in general. idk what's up with that. He's Agender, Panromantic, Grey asexual and uses He/Him pronouns.

The song with 5 names

Your average guy. except uhh we cant have that here, its fused with 4 people (or, more specifically, their minds) . Their original name is Vincent, but is barely called by that name anymore. The four people in question are Morana, Cotards, Victor and the character of "Hand me my shovel, I'm going in!" .

Constantly on edge, hyper and shakes way too much. It changes personalities FAST, Mainly because of the 4 different (mind) fusions. Vincent tends to talk to himself a lot, mainly because it tries to send messages to the 4 of them.

I JUST ACCIDENTALLY DELETED A PARAGRAPH OH MY GOD

Their body is covered in cracks, holes, patterns and abnormalities of the like. Along with this, the abnormalities are never fluid, and are constantly changing. Little physical fact - Vincent had heterochromia, and now thats developed into a cracked beady eye and A completely blank white eye. Vincent uses He/it/they pronouns, and is aroace + genderfluid.

Hand me my shovel, I'm going In!

Burned out + tired character of the ocs. Dawn is a conspiracist/ theorist who tried to find someone that hasn't ever existed. She looks for the answers to a solution of a problem that hasn't even been thought of, yet wont be denied that the person doesn't exist. The person was the love of dawns life, and needs to find an answer as to where they went.

Dawn occasionally sees ghosts from time to time and also experiences hallucinations. One could speculate that the "love of her life" WAS a ghost, but the evidence isn't enough to prove it yet (oh my god making references to the original songs its so fun ANYWAYS).

I imagine Dawn and Morana to be like theorist buddies. what if plot twist the love of her life in question WAS Morana BEFORE the illness?? Except she didnt know Morana changed??? hmmmmm muhahah

Dawn constantly wears suits. Like. you could be going to the motherfucking grocery store and BOOM suit and tie. not the point. Dawn has multiple scars on her face and hands, due to physical injuries. She has dark heavy eyebags, and is pale as a ghost due to malnourishment. Her pronouns are She/her and is a demigirl + lesbian.

Dr. Sunshine (is dead)

by far my most worked on character probably. Dr. Sunshine, Also known as William sunshine (Yes this IS a reference to WW's old work), has been at and through many places at a time. Working with all sorts of magic, the "good" or the "bad" kind, or the things that feel like magic (uhhh drugs), He'll get his hands on. From working as a "doctor" to A ringmaster (I'd go into depth into that but that's a verbal equinox territory), hes done almost all of it. He's done WAY too many bad deeds to be considered "wanted", yet nobody seems to know him.

Charming yet mysterious, It feels like he seems to know everyone. Maybe its because he actually does !!!

Plot twist grahh!!! hes been behind all of the "illness's" and "diseases", and fusions of the like. Yes, even Cotards resurrection. In fact what if i told you that Dr. Sunshine resurrected Cotards to be with him once more !!!! Diversity win! the ocs are gay!

WEHJAKSKS

GETTING OFF TOPIC!!!!! Yes, Dr. sunshine resurrected Cotards to not have to deal with the pain of forever losing him, and when that didnt (seem to) work, he tried fusing him (parts of his mind to be specific) with someone else, however accidentally fusing 3 other people in the process.

Physical features!!! Dr. Sunshine has that Iconic coat i always draw him in, but since there may be other people who read to the end of this, Dr. sunshine has a white doctors/lab coat with many stripes and patterns on it, with (human) eyes on one sleeve. Dr. Sunshine also has a Third eye, and markings/abnormalities covering his body. Dr. Sunshine may or may not be already dead, Its hard to tell as to how many times hes died. Lastly Dr. Sunshine's pronouns are He/him, and hes Bisexual.

CONCLUSION

OH MY GOD. this post is gonna be so fucking long. I hope whoever read this enjoyed reading it because this shit took me 2 hours GRAH

ALSO if this has any errors im sorry bc i wrote this at 4 am for anyone who stumbles across this post later

[ltwharfy]

15&18 from part 1, 10&13 from part 2!

Part 1, 15. least favorite episode (and why)?

Not saying that I think this is the worst episode (it's probably average to good from an objective perspective) but I really dislike watching "Tinarannosaurus Wrecks" because I have so much empathy for Tina in the parking lot scene at the beginning of the episode that I just can't enjoy it. When I was 15 and supposed to be learning to drive, my dad had already moved over 1,000 miles away, so my mom (who I love dearly but is a nervous, judgmental driver) had to teach me. We tried to practice in an abandoned parking lot. I basically had a panic attack. I didn't hit anybody's car, but my mom gave up on trying to teach me to drive. I failed driver's ed and didn't learn to drive until my 20s. And I still kind of hate it.

So, there's the bizarrely personal story about why I don't enjoy the fun insurance fraud episode guest-starring Bob Odenkirk.

Part 1. 18. would you rather have bob or linda as a parent?

Is this as a single-parent, or partnered with one of my actual parents? Either way, Bob is the answer for me. I didn't have the easiest relationship with my dad for some time, and it does always warm my heart to see Bob do good dad things. I particularly like how accepting he is of each of his kids' distinct personalities and he's always open to learning new things about them. The end of "A-Sprout A Boy" is a good example of this- realizing that Gene was doing something creative and fun with Purrbo, he wasn't just blowing off his school work. (And Bob and Louise's relationship may be my favorite parent-kid relationship on TV.)

Part 2, 10. Which one-off character do you despise?

Mr. Dinkler from "Topsy"! He just get so nasty so quickly in his interactions with a frickin' nine year-old. Who he's supposed to be teaching! Dude has no business being a substitute teacher. Stick to the Edison reenactments, ya weirdo!

Part 2, 13. What's a underrated episode?

"The Hormone-iums". In my book this is a very entertaining episode that I never see talked about. Fun songs! Good jokes! Tina has a entertaining ethical crisis! A good parody of over-the-top school propaganda on sex, drugs, etc! The wine shoe subplot! Calvin and Felix have a money fight! Louise wears mouse ears over her bunny ears! A underrated classic!

[vibinglikethat]

my thoughts and feelings about jedi survivor (spoilers ahead)

ok so i've finished the storyline of jedi survivor and i thought i would express my many feelings about this amazing game (in case i wasn't obvious lol, i LOVED it.)

so the game takes place 5 years after jedi fallen order, and of course lots of things have happened between JFO and JS, one of which is the crew went their separate ways and it becomes clear that cal wasnt happy with that. eventually they all reunite and everything is nice and there is hope and then you remember this is star wars and it's set during the empire and so that hope turns to dust real quick and it's AGONIZING.

GOD i can't stop thinking about bode and his betrayal i dont remember the last time i was so fucking shocked over a character's betrayal, i was never shocked with anakin because uhhh yeah he was always meant to be darth vader lol, but with bode??? i did NOT see it coming. it especially sucks because i really liked him. and the fact that he used to be a JEDI???? THAT FUCKING SHOOK ME TO THE CORE. i feel so bad for his daughter OH my god :( she lost her parents at such a young age i want to cry (I LOVE that merrin especially tries to help and comfort her because she can relate im going to sob)

cere junda.....oh man. oh god. my love for cere is endless and im still processing her death (YES I KNOW SHES A FICTIONAL CHARACTER I CANT HELP HOW I FEEL LOL) i actually already kinda knew she was going to die because i saw gifs but i feel like i would have been even MORE upset if i didnt know because OH my god.........the darth vader and cere fight scene was SO cool though like tragedy aside i loved being able to do that omg you cant really properly fight darth in JFO and i loved that you could this time while playing as cere

god cal crying while holding her body wrecked me.....i wont be forgetting that anytime soon, if ever.

CAL AND MERRIN ARE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH im gonna admit and say i never called myself a cal/merrin shipper but i HAVE loved their dynamic and i love romance so im definitely shipping them now lol (MERRIN BEING THE FIRST TO INSTIGATE THEIR KISS.....WE LOVE TO SEE IT)

greez........i love greez :) i DO want to know what happened to his arm because OH my god wtf anyway i love that he has a saloon, good for him. this game made me love him even more. he just loves his found family :((( AND OH MY GOD HE WAS SO HEARTBROKEN AFTER CERE I WANT TO THROW UP

this is getting absurdly song omg sorry lol im sure im forgetting some things but these are the most significant moments that happened and i wont be forgetting anytime soon lol

also btw i straight up cried during the funeral scene which is the last scene that plays before the credits. the force theme played which probably contributed to my tears lol

anyway the ending was perfect, this game is perfect, the emotional devastation is perfect, the gameplay is perfect, i cannot recommend this game ENOUGH. if you like star wars and souls-like games. if you've read this far please feel free to reblog and say "so true op" in the tags lol

[linaket]

Writing Update (2/18/23)

Tinder Saint Progress:

8 / 15 chapters complete

word count: we made it to 20k! (projected: 40k)

Excerpt:

Cathan’s gaze fell to the small flicker she cradled. “I am tired of being afraid.” She wrapped her other hand around the fire, holding it close enough to burn. “I’ve always been afraid. Every day. Look at you, Vahn. Even if I wanted to ask, I can’t. You are bleeding and no one has bothered to say anything about it.”

Vahn lifted a hand to his brow, scraping over the dried flakes of blood and wincing from the bruise. “Not bleeding anymore, technically.”

“There has to be something better than this. I have to believe that. If the wars don’t take us, there is always someone else waiting. ”

Salinae’s heavy, willing hands were a ghost at Vahn’s throat, and Ilye’s too-loud voice bracketed the memory. 

“Maybe they're waiting," he said, "but these trials will kill you a lot quicker.”

Cathan’s smile was an elegy that had long been written. “Then I won’t have to be afraid anymore, will I?”

🎵 Music: Eyes On Fire, Hahlweg ft. wayfie

I’m taking it slow Feeding my flame Shuffling the cards of your game And just in time In the right place Suddenly I will play my ace

I've been listening to some version of this song since I first started writing SP, but it is usually a Kanna song (the Blue Foundation, Zed's Dead Remix lives on her playlist).

This one didn't really inform any of the current chapters I worked on. It's actually far more consistent with Vahn in later chapters or even after Tinder Saint closes, but it's been keeping me excited to get these early chapters tightened up so I can show him growing and getting there and have my powerful, confident Vahn come out the other side of all this.

Thoughts:

I'm actually doing this a day early because I start a long stretch of work days tomorrow. I planned to do these on Sundays, but it's probably going to be... around Sunday because I'm very bad at knowing what day of the week it is.

Technically, I only have two scenes left lingering in what I'm considering my "early" section to complete... I had a lot of lingering bits that needed to get edited in and I managed to get that done, so its just those two scenes remaining.

I am getting more excited each day as I get closer to actually hitting the part of this story that I'm dying to write. Somehow, all three of my days off are in a row the week after next (Feb. 27-Mar. 1) and I want to have all this early part cleaned up enough by then that I can marathon through that section. It's hmm... 2-3 chapters and not even the "biggest" reveal, plot wise, it is simply the thing I'm most excited about in terms of being challenging and tricky in the best way.

It feels really strange, though, to think about how little I have left to write? Technically I've already written half of what I projected this novella to end up at and that took forever but... I have a feeling that after I get these last lingering parts from the beginning out of the way, if I had a free week to just write morning to night I'd be able to finish this in that time because its all knocking-down instead of carefully setting up and I tend to wrecking ball through that part of things.

I can probably get pretty close to finishing this draft by end of March... middle of March, depending on how far I can get in those three days that I do have off and if nothing out-of-bounds happens which... it really might, I have a lot of odd things floating around in my life right now that I'm expecting to hit right when I don't want them to.

[prev. week]

[fructo]

❀ | my may reads

I'm starting this at the beginning of the month so I actually remember what I thought about a book; I'll see how this goes and if I even remember to update this throughout the month. I should be studying for econ right now but this is fun :)

so without further ado... (heed the spoilers below the break)

TW: mentions of sex, cursing, potential spoilers

Daisy Jones & The Six - Taylor Jenkins Reid

I rated this a 4 out of 5 stars. The style/flow of the book was difficult for me to settle into throughout the book but I did appreciate how Reid broke it up into chapters and sections to clarify the timeline. That being said, this was my first book I've read by Reid and definitely loved the writing! I'm going to check out the show once I finish White Collar (revising this at the end of the month and I DID start the first episode after finishing White Collar) because I HAD to go listen to the songs as I was reading the book. I was really disappointed that this was just fiction because the songs they made in the show were so wonderful! This was also one instance in which I didn't predict the plot twist, which was interesting. Overall, I loved Daisy Jones and Camila Dunne (though I wholly believe she did deserve better).

Every Time You Go Away - Abigail Johnson

I rated this a 3 out of 5 stars, and this was probably higher than I normally would've rated it if I didn't relate to Ethan's part of the story. I liked Rebecca as a character, and I also identified with the amount of guilt she experienced; their stories were ones I identified with. I did knock off a star for the plot line with Neel (if I had a nickel for every piece of media I consume with a character named Neal [or other variation of the name] I would have two nickels which isn't a lot-) because overall it felt unnecessary to have him be in love with Rebecca. Sometimes, introducing a love triangle when there's already so much to the plot just wrecks the effect of the other parts of the story, and I think that was what happened in this instance. Ethan's grandparents also deserved better?

Today Tonight Tomorrow - Rachel Lynn Solomon

Throughout the entirety of this book, I was a little torn on how I felt about it. Going through a burnout phase this month I wish I had someone to motivate me the way Rowan and Neil (I NOW HAVE THREE NICKELS) so I appreciated that dynamic between the two. Enemies to lovers isn't my favorite trope, because for romance books I read, I like being able to see the character go through something together? I also felt that Rowan's embarrassment about liking romance novels was a bit silly (though in hindsight the way she keeps it a secret describes the way I hide my music taste from people). In addition, the sex scene at the end felt a little unnecessary. Overall, I'd give a 3 out of 5 because I did enjoy the idea! It was a fun little read :)

Solitaire - Alice Oseman

At the time of writing this, I haven't completely finished the book BUT this is my third read of the book and I've got less than a chapter left so I think I can comfortably say 5 out of 5. I hate saying I relate to Tori Spring because it feels like it dishonors her complexity as a character but every time I read this book I understand her perspective on the world more and more. Oseman writes complex characters so beautifully that every time I read this, I mark (with post-it notes) more and more. It's always a comfort to know that I can turn to this book whenever I need to, because ALL of Oseman's books are a comfort to me.

King of Scars - Leigh Bardugo

I read this in the midst of AP exam season so it took me longer than I would've liked to finish it. I also might've accidentally started the second book before the first book, but I quickly corrected THAT error. Anyways, I personally think Bardugo is a strong writer in the third person, and I absolutely adored the Six of Crows duology, and this one didn't disappoint either. I didn't particularly feel any which way for Zoya during the first series (that being said, I haven't read the third book in the "Shadow and Bone" series) but I did like her in this series. Nikolai was also an interesting character, seeing the way he was so passionate for his people. And Nina. Nina, my love. The portion in which she was hearing Matthias' voice in her head actually tore me apart, and I love the way she channeled that despair into good. It did start out slower than I would've liked, so ultimately a 4/5 stars.

Fairest (The Lunar Chronicles, #3.5) - Marissa Meyer

If delusional were a person, Levana would be the perfect representation of it. I sort of began feeling pity for her (I have already finished the whole main series by this time, so I knew of her injuries and deformations) but holy shit the things she does in this book. I thought I was clueless about love but taking your crush's dead wife's facial features is next level crazy shit. It was nice to see that Winter was always just good, and seeing her involvement at such a young age put into perspective her relationship with Jacin Clay. Levana casually mentioning killing her niece just tied up how much I dislike her. I'm weak for morally gray characters (if it's not obvious) but she's not even in the gray. Nope, nuh uh. She deserved everything that happened to her, and that's a lot for ME to say.

Clockwork Angel (The Infernal Devices, #1) - Cassandra Clare

This is another reread; I had originally read this series in I believe 2020? It wasn't as good as I remembered the second time around, but I'm still in love with this trilogy. The dynamic between Jem, Tessa, and Will is wonderful, and your heart aches for them; you can't help it. I didn't realize that Charlotte was as young as she was, but for some reason I can't remove the idea of her being older out of my head. The plot twist was also sort of easy to predict before it was actually revealed, but it was still a good twist. I'm a sucker for automatons/steampunk/anything along those lines, so the idea of grotesque automatons in Victorian England makes me feral (not being dramatic). I love Tessa, yes, and JEM. You sweet, tortured soul. And Will. I die a little inside for the tortured, smoldering characters.

Clockwork Prince (The Infernal Devices, #2) - Cassandra Clare

I take back what I said as it not being as good as the first I read it. This book killed me. The dynamic between Tessa, Will and Jem slaughters my very being. I am weak for trios in media, apparently. I'm sure that if I went back to read the Mortal Instruments, I wouldn't enjoy it as much as I did this trilogy. I really enjoyed the way Sophie was developed, too, as well as a bit more elaboration on Henry and Charlotte's relationship. I disliked Nathaniel Gray (Will was SO real for that) but his death scene with Tessa is heartbreaking. I also love Clare's use of certain words that have such a specific definition but work so perfectly in the context of the scene. I can't wait to (re)start Clockwork Princess :)

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks - Rebecca Skloot

Sometimes, when you ask me about a specific book, I will simply respond with "If I hadn't finished this book in school, I would've cried." Any book that meets this standard immediately gets 5 stars. Perhaps this is a skewed way of rating, but I have yet to find a book that makes me cry because it's so bad. OKAY ANYWAYS, this book was an assignment for English class, but it was still wonderful. I was appalled when my classmates said that what happened was justified for the revolutions in medicine, and perhaps it was just for the sake of argument, but I can't understand how one could justify the way the family was treated. My heart broke during the third part. If there's any book that you should read on this list, it's this one. The amount of research and effort that Skloot went to show the world the family and woman behind the infamous HeLa cells is beautiful, and it makes you think about questions you may not have considered before. Definitely worth the read.

---

Throughout the entirety of writing these reviews I had to caution myself against writing too much. I'm trying to keep them general without too much scene detail to avoid spoilers, but I could rant about the books I've read for hours if given the opportunity.

I'm hoping to check out more nonfiction over the summer, particularly some things surrounding criminology; whether or not I hold up to this, we shall see :)

[stormxpadme]

🤡 🎢 📈 ✅ for the fic asks!

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

From this oneshot of my X-Men main verse

This time when he turned to Hank, he finally seemed to really see him. "Out?" "Yes. You’re out." Hank squeezed his good shoulder encouragingly, then went about opening the softly padded straps on Scott’s wrists and ankles. "We’re all home. No casualties." With that, he injected those remaining 100 ml into the most recent IV line, to counter at least the worst of what was so brutal on Scott's body right now. Much to his patient's confusion. "Didn’t you say …?" "Just trying not to stuff your veins to the brim when it's not absolutely necessary," Hank gave back with an apologetic shrug. "Told you, I need your system up and running, not you hallucinating from drugs." Scott's eyebrow went up high, slowly. "Why can’t I shoot you right now?" "Complaining already. Welcome home." Logan briefly knocked that stretcher's mattress as an amicable salute and left for somewhere then where he could smoke his nerves back into place in peace. Which made it Alison's job, quickly raising that reversal weapon Scott's way, muzzle turned downwards this time. "The effects will wear off soon. You probably got another five minutes without your blasts. We just needed to be sure you’re orientated enough not to send them the wrong way." Scott acknowledged that with a stiff nod and by at least briefly pushing up his glasses but didn’t waste any time examining Alison’s expressive features with the thick blond curls, those ocean blue sparkling eyes, her fine freckles, in detail, unwilling as usual to dwell for long on the both so loved and so dreaded, so tempting effects of that weapon originating from Lehnsherr's hands. He was scowling at the sight of Alison's wrecked wrists instead. "Hank, patch her the fuck up."

"Yeah, you definitely are feeling better." Hank took only another second to roll his eyes in mock exasperation before starting to hook Bastian to the lines necessary for a long-term treatment as well, as Alison was signaling him she still was in a state of aftershock that didn’t demand immediate attention.

This whole exchange amused me a lot because Scott is literally just out from days of straight up torture and all he can think about, the second he's no longer in pain delirium is having Hank patch up Dazzler aka his team being safe and taken care of. Also Hank withholding too much painkillers on him because Scott already basically lived off that the last few years because of his migraines, will never fail to crack me up.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Funnily enough, in the sense of wild, probably a part of the American Idol season (German version) I've written. Not to mention the whole research work (including going to TV casting show castings personally) that went into the series, describing the whole casting and recall progress, the live shows themselves, with all the songs the contestants sing, show acts, costumes etc., the whole series is something I enjoy reading a lot still. But part 3 is probably the wildest ride. While it's describing the last few shows and the finale, of course, along with the love story of the two protagonists, it also deals with the fact that one of the other contestants and the best friend of the protagonists just fell off a roof drunk and died in a freak accident with the two protagonists watching and holding his hand. There's obviously a lot of feels in this fictional TV reality show season, and I certainly didn't expect it to move me as much when I started that thing back then.

📈 How many fics do you have?

That's always a loaded question. Written? Published? On my PC? Written, I can't tell because I started writing at the age of 9 and my earliest stories on school notebooks sadly were trashed at some point. On AO3, I have 202 works mostly in English published as of now. In our German fanfiction archive fanfiktion.de, I have 131 German stories which are mostly not the same as on AO3 though. On my PC, I have dozen of other finished and unfinished additional stories that are only for my enjoyment.

✅ What’s something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don’t mean to?

I think most of my OCs at least start out as somewhat shy or having self-confidence issues. 8 years of mobbing at school left their mark, it's really as simple as that. There's always a lot of growth though, and most of these girls had no fucking idea in the beginning how much ass they'd be kicking in one way or another someday.

[bisluthq]

ok so this is what I think and wrote it somewhere else the other day so it's a bit long. Also I'm not accounting for other problems behind the scenes. This is more about the tour thing.

I don't buy this whole she wasn't being bejeweled or free and whatever. I don't even think she wants to be as public and out there as most fans seem to think, with the whole chained in the basement thing. I do think there was something more she wanted in terms of public events and work events, but like I also think there's an overcorrection and the narrative being pushed is not accidental.

I think she was pretty pissed and hurt Joe wasn't there for the first tour shows. I mean him not being there kind of ruined the picture of her life just being perfect in all fronts. The thing missing was the cheering boyfriend there on tour with her. And that has been her focus since then, having a boyfriend in the audience (will extend on this in a bit).

Now I don't have Joe's filming schedule to say with 100% certainty he could easily have made it or not really. But from an outside perspective, unless he wasn't filming everyday it seems a bit contraproductive to expect your boyfriend to wrap up his friday shoot probably kind of tired, fly for 13 hours, just the enough to make one concert, fly other 13 hours and then having to wake up early the next day to work all in the middle of a big timezone change. Unless he didn't talk to her after the first big show or made an acknowledgement whatsoever, it seemed to be far better to wait until the shoot wrapped up so he had no other focus.

I mean sure the first show is specially nerve wrecking, but you can provide support from afar and there would be dozens of other dates he could have made instead. I also wonder if that photo with Emma which triggered the unfollows, to her it felt like oh so you weren't here to hang out with her kind of thing. Sometimes we can be irrational, when we're hurt yk.

If you were attentive to her Betty speeches last year, there were quite a few pointed ones about showing up to make things right, apologizing etc I can see how for Taylor would be all about this big sacrifice for her that he didn't do (I'm sure there were probably other issues going on that didn't help the motivation to do a big sacrifice either). Which brings me to the whole thing I said earlier of her chasing the having a boyfriend in the audience.

So her boyfriend was missing right, a while after they breakup. Enter the Matty era, the white knight in shining armor promising her the world, flying 20 hours straight from his concert for her. Oh yeah, the big sacrifice she wanted you see (cause she was feeling like an old cardigan and he said you're my favorite iykyk). Also if you check the articles the whole we're proud of each other etc narrative was already being curated at the time. Matty played his part of the boyfriend in the audience, sang her songs, dramatically acted out during Lover and followed her around for the whole month he had free like a sidekick. Then he has to leave and things end. And cue to how things are now. Same style of cheerleader boyfriend, same narrative (but x2 because not even with Matty she was doing this much, don't think he was as ok with the showmance as much as she needed him to either) and emphasis on being a cheerleader boyfriend *in public, that's an important disclaimer.

Notice how we also had nearly constant update articles on them, but outside of her concerts we actually only saw them twice together I think. He was also papped alone and leaving her house. No way to know how that would have evolved, had they stayed together longer.

All of this to say, this whole private-public thing to me is both an overcorrection due to the sour spot of his absence on the tour; But also that in general what she wanted to change was them being front and center at work events, and not just backstage. A bit of parading around you know what I mean (even though I'm not sure if she really wanted it to the extent of now or this is just going a bit to the opposite extreme).

Had Joe attended the tour I think he would have preferred to be in a suite so less eyes and cameras would be on him, definately not being announced in advance, definately not run and kissing in front of everyone...

I think Taylor wanted the Joe from the Reputation tour who was a bit more whipped for her and willing to put up with his blushing being on TV and cameras recording them hugging for a documentary, and I'm guessing even a little more than just that since she was expecting them to be more open. But people change, the honeymoon phase fades and our own priorities change.

I mean exactly - people change and to stay as in lurve as you are in the first few months/year or whatever takes active effort and it doesn’t seem like either of them were necessarily making it.

[baekhvuns]

The kid is like 7(?) not sure 😭 idk if he's lucky or extremely unlucky to have a kpoppie mother

That final was nerve-wrecking, I wanted France to do something cause??? Yeah, Mbappe did his best tbh, they would be totally humiliated without him. But this man needs to be humbled down, cause wtf did he say about LATAM and football, huh. He reminds me of young Neymar, I rooted for him initially, but the amount of unprovoked cocky shit he says 🔪 hopefully Mbappe isn't a right-winger as well ☠ (I'm sorry I'm a Neymar anti, babes no love for him and his annoying haircuts in this household)

Please Baek bring an Ateez flag or a Hwa picket to the match so I can recognise you on TV! Ofc USA is getting everything, also why are they even hosting they suck at football. Guess they bought it just like Qatar lmao

Right, I guess that's why the novel is like 800+ chapters long already??? Granted the chapters aren't incredibly long, but still... idk if the sex scenes and kids will ever make it to the webtoon. Latil, girl I know you don't really care for the Harem, but those men are drying out... anyways Baeksy stand back, Tasir is my raccoon drug dealer! I'm currently obsessed with My Derelict Favorite, cause the main guy is so fucking beautiful I- SJDGUSUDHSDHGASGSHBSS it's Seonghwa with long hair 🥰🤪😳

Why are you being Baeksussy again, WHAT CARDS are you about to lay out?! Anyway on the nerd Hwa agenda, the photos with Lego he got, our Lego ambassador and THESE SELFIES gamer Ddeonghwa!!! Wotakoi AU WOTAKOI AU, thanxx for coming to my ted talk

So ummm even more high notes and hardcore choreography? 😭🤨 not sure how to feel about it, but we will see. At least it's not a proper comeback jahushdhshahajhssh. But the title, Halazia??? I'm sorry, but I have to laugh 😭 and what's with the remixes... The ending of Guerrilla sounds cool, but I'm not sure what kind of song it will be. Where did the bandages go, Hwa?! And is he wearing a skiiiiiirt aaaaaa. Yeosang, cover yourself, bby

Was about to send the demonic tongue Seonghwa, what am I seeing 😵 but the video of him smiling, I evaporated 😩

I don't wanna real date why would I fake date, unless it's my dream and I'm fake dating Park Seonghwa

NONONONO THIS CAN'T BE REAL??? 😭😭😭😭

These fucking edits are killing me, why am I having a laughing fit in the middle of the night

C-c-calm down....? one of my friends said, what if housekeeper/handyman Hwa AU. Seonghwa: *does anything*; we insane Shitstars: OMG NEW AU?!?!? - DV 💖

hi hello!!

he kid is like 7(?) not sure 😭 idk if he's lucky or extremely unlucky to have a kpoppie mother

LMFAOOOO no i guess he’s probably in his embarrassing phase where it’s him who’s embarrassing or he thinks his mom is, probs his mom <3 have u ever met him? maybe u guys share the same bias! BDMWHSK ASK HIM

That final was nerve-wrecking, I wanted France to do something cause??? Yeah, Mbappe did his best tbh, they would be totally humiliated without him. But this man needs to be humbled down, cause wtf did he say about LATAM and football, huh. He reminds me of young Neymar, I rooted for him initially, but the amount of unprovoked cocky shit he says 🔪 hopefully Mbappe isn't a right-winger as well ☠ (I'm sorry I'm a Neymar anti, babes no love for him and his annoying haircuts in this household)

no literally i was waiting for a counter attack in the first half?? but they didn’t do nothing?? and the way argentina’s goalkeeper is mad good at intimidating and his mind games?? bro got his hands on two mbappe pen’s, in 18 months made them wc winners?? crazy…123rd min save was woah,, im a fan, richarlison who??? but the number 10 argentinian has a HEAVY weight in football now, do not think any one will fill it in years to come 

les blues must’ve been a massive fight for them to act this cold on pitch 😭😭 yeah! but this dhdhdh NAHHHH BC THE AWARD CEREMONY PART 😭😭 MAN COME ON U NEED HUMBLING ;?1’£~€]£€| i get u didn’t win but at least respect others around, u won last time so it’s fine 😭😭🤚🏼 it was quite embarrassing to watch dhdhdh no bc neymar eventually grew up, mbappe just has this massive amount of power that keeps getting to his head and he can say good bye to the ballon d’or if he keeps being like that,, that psg match where bro wanted that penalty but didn’t get it I DONT UNDERSTAND IF ANY CLUB IN THE WORLD HAS NEYMAR, NO ONE ELSE BUT HIM TAKES THE PENALTIES ??? OKOK DESPITE THE DISLIKE I HAVE OF HIS POLITICAL OPINIONS I CANNOT DENY HIS SKILLS 🤚🏼 he’s an exceptional yet underrated player that gets fouled against, like bro literally getting choked on the field and get’s injuries insanely and then HE get’s the shit no but some of that diving fbwndbwk hilarious to watch dbdbd + BUT HIS POLITICAL OPINIONS 🔫🔫 

pls also see this entire post bc IM CRYINF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT EVFKE

Please Baek bring an Ateez flag or a Hwa picket to the match so I can recognise you on TV! Ofc USA is getting everything, also why are they even hosting they suck at football. Guess they bought it just like Qatar lmao

U BET HRKWHDKWJCCK I SIGNED UP FOR IT 😭😭 hopefully the teams i wanna see actually get that location or id collapse but will go the finals dbdb,, trying to meet mbappe to humble him mayhaps <33 bestie would i rly bring a hwa pc to a match, yes i would. nah bc u.s would be a bad idea tbh 😭😭 if british + americans get together u know someone will get arrested plus they’d give alcohol too it’ll be a mess to see, pre sure the final is in california too

Right, I guess that's why the novel is like 800+ chapters long already??? Granted the chapters aren't incredibly long, but still... idk if the sex scenes and kids will ever make it to the webtoon. Latil, girl I know you don't really care for the Harem, but those men are drying out... anyways Baeksy stand back, Tasir is my raccoon drug dealer! I'm currently obsessed with My Derelict Favorite, cause the main guy is so fucking beautiful I-SJDGUSUDHSDHGASGSHBSS it's Seonghwa with long hair 🥰🤪😳

YEAH??? personally don’t think it should’ve dragged on for that long bc damn??? the time to read it?? do not have <//3 it was good at the beginning but latil is just dry atp,, HEKQDHWK MEN ARE DRYING OUT FOR HER LITERALLY DBDBDB

now hold on.

Why are you being Baeksussy again, WHAT CARDS are you about to lay out?! Anyway on the nerd Hwa agenda, the photos with Lego he got, our Lego ambassador and THESE SELFIES gamer Ddeonghwa!!! Wotakoi AU WOTAKOI AU, thanxx for coming to my ted talk

☺️☺️ HELLO <33 BDBDBDNS WANTED A DIOR AMBASSADORSHIP BUT NOW A LEGO ONE SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD 😭😭😭 lego korea need to make a ateez x lego collab where the figurines are all of them, will 100% get the hwa one. GAMER HWA UR ONTO SOMETHING ANON

So ummm even more high notes and hardcore choreography? 😭🤨 not sure how to feel about it, but we will see. At least it's not a proper comeback jahushdhshahajhssh. But the title, Halazia??? I'm sorry, but I have to laugh 😭 and what's with the remixes... The ending of Guerrilla sounds cool, but I'm not sure what kind of song it will be. Where did the bandages go, Hwa?! And is he wearing a skiiiiiirt aaaaaa. Yeosang, cover yourself, bby

here we go again fhwjdhsjjck when the track list teaser dropped i thought it was an edit tbh 😭😭😭 halazia it is 😭😭 i wonder how they’ll incorporate in the lyrivs fbsndbsn and remixes! yay! yg! WHERE THE BANDAGES GO?? TO CHOI SAN BC WHAAT 👁👁 uh! new show!

Was about to send the demonic tongue Seonghwa, what am I seeing 😵 but the video of him smiling, I evaporated 😩

no bc what are we seeing on the tl these days,,, selfies galore vs demons galore aM I COMPLAINING? NO DBSNBDS

omf since we were talking about krystal, she is in fact, the OG IT GIRL, the aura, she defines the word aura, cold and warm at the same time 🫡 what an idol 🫡 need her back

I don't wanna real date why would I fake date, unless it's my dream and I'm fake dating Park Seonghwa

SEE NOW REALISTICALLY SPEAKING lowering expectations bc no one like seonghwa 😔 manifesting an etl for u not for me bc i think id get so annoyed it would turn into enemies to fight real fast

NONONONO THIS CAN'T BE REAL??? 😭😭😭😭 /// These fucking edits are killing me, why am I having a laughing fit in the middle of the night

IM????? WOOYOUNG??? YEOSANG???? SEONGHWA??? HONGJGONGBGBF IT LITERALLY IS DISCURSTING 😭😭WHAT IS GOING ON IN ATINYVILE WHAT ARE THESE EDITS FBWNDBWM

C-c-calm down....? one of my friends said, what if housekeeper/handyman Hwa AU. Seonghwa: *does anything*; we insane Shitstars: OMG NEW AU?!?!? - DV 💖

o-okay bob the builder? SEONGHWA BOB THE BUILDER AU FBWMFBWMDJWK NO UR RIGHT UR RIGHT 😭😭😭

🧍🏻‍♀️ anon

why is this man so dramatic 😭😭acting like he touched a stove or something,, im on seulgi’s side, supporting women’s rights and wrongs

had a little moment over him actually

ANON?? THE BOYCOTT ACTUALLY WORKING??

[yutahoes]

Ghost of You

pairing: idol! Yuta (NCT member) x idol! Y/N (solo idol-actress)

word count : 5k words

genre: angst

summary: He was the one who ended everything. But you’re like a ghost that kept haunting him. 

warning : break up, alleged cheating, pregnancy, a fic where you just want to strangle Yuta to death 

Based on this ask. I’m sorry, I tweaked the story and changed some of the song (especially the Olivia Rodrigo one because it doesn’t fit the story) The songs I used are linked in the story. Also, I have no idea how the idol world works and please note that this is just fanfiction. Please Enjoy reading. 

Broken glass, an empty unruly apartment. Signs that a big fight happened. All because of a tabloid article of him seeing his co-host late at night. Yuta argued that she needed someone to talk to and Y/N was angry that he winged their anniversary V-live just for this. “You can tell me if you’re sick of me, Yuta.” she claimed that made him hiss. “Don’t you think I didn’t notice? You’re always making up things just so you can’t meet me.” 

“That’s not true!” Yuta shouted. “I am busy.” 

Tears ran down her face. “Then explain how Jungwoo had lunch with me last Friday when you said that you’re practicing with your members.”    

“Stop saying that I don’t even make time for you.” His voice raised in frustration. “When all you do is hang out with that co-star of yours.” 

The girl scoffed. “So it’s my fault now? It’s work, Yuta.” It’s always the same reason. “I asked you a lot of times if you’re alright with the drama and you never mention anything. Now, you’re using it against me?” 

The guy shook his head. “Let’s talk about this tomorrow. I’m tired.”

“And I’m also tired.” She whispered. “Let’s end this, Yuta.” She threw the promise ring before leaving the apartment. 

The news next day was about Y/N erasing pictures of them in her social media accounts. The breakup news between the solo idol and the NCT member followed. Taeyong just shook his head watching Yuta exit the CEO’s office with droopy shoulders. “I really like her for you, hyung.” Mark claimed when he entered the practice room. 

He didn’t know where it went wrong. They were happy. Everyone likes their relationship. His fans are her fans, and hers are his. They were tagged as the greatest idol couple, often paired in dances since it’s both their strengths. Y/N was casted in a period drama and he’s a supportive boyfriend who visited her the first day of the filming and thanked everyone for taking care of his girlfriend. She filmed romantic scenes, kissing her actor co-star. And he was fine. “It’s work, Yuta.” She would always say. And he would just smile. 

He started hosting a radio show with a female Japanese idol and he was cold at her, wanting to stir away from controversy. But as her drama progressed, with more romantic scenes and more kissing, he felt left out. She’s becoming a star. And he’s becoming Y/N’s idol boyfriend. Slowly, he’s getting fed up with the relationship that’s slowly getting centered on her. 

It felt like a breath of fresh air that it all ended now. Like a thorn removed from his aching heart. 

All the public’s sympathy went to her, as he expected. She’s the star. The more famous one among the two of them. So he just painted himself as the bad guy by confirming that he’s dating his co-host which surprised the other girl. The agency was surprised at the decision but it became such a media frenzy that their radio show got high ratings every week. Even the sales of their album spiked up and he became known as NCT’s Yuta and not as someone’s idol boyfriend.

Everything is getting better. 

-----      

It was the end of the year award show when they crossed paths again. They were doing a great job avoiding each other. Why now? Nine members meant a vacant seat from the round table artists are seated at. The staff repeatedly apologized but as kind as she is, she just smiled and sat between Doyoung and Jaehyun, just across Yuta. She greeted all the members, even complimenting Haechan’s hair and Taeil’s suit. “Congratulations on best album.” she greeted, smiling widely to avoid the awkwardness. 

“Aren’t you releasing an album as well?” Johnny asked that made her nod. “Another dance track?” Taeyong asked but Y/N shook her head saying that it was a ballad album and that she will perform later. The guys were obviously surprised, ballad isn’t her best track. She’s more known for her dancing skills so it is indeed a huge surprise. 

When the best female idol awardee was called, the NCT members all stood up to congratulate her. Jungwoo even helped her with her pink lace gown. She did the usual thank you message: thanking her parents, the almighty being, the management, the staffs, and her fans. “And lastly…” Yuta gasped. Whenever she gets an award, she thanks him lastly for comforting and always supporting her. “Please watch out for my album.” He felt his heart drop, especially when she smiled that angelic smile. Why is she shaking him like this? 

Yuta was already bored. He just wants to go home. The lights dimmed and the emcees announced her as the next performer. Because it’s a live performance, they showed some clips of her photoshoot for her new album. He had to agree that this concept fits her. She looked prettier than when they used to go out.

He was more surprised to see an orchestra accompaniment behind her on stage. Her, seated on a platform, wearing a white sequined dress that shines like stars when the spotlight shone on her. The crowd clapped just as the start of the song played. (Imagine this as the performance.) 

The other members warily glanced at him. A break up song. Why isn’t he surprised? 

My dream changed - instead of a famous singer, I tried to become a good wife

He remembered how she would always try to learn to cook whenever she had extra time. She never mentioned anything to him. It was until one night, they were laying next to each other, when she asked him if he wanted her to continue being an idol. That made him curious that time. She loved performing. Why would she ask that? 

Now, he knew why. 

By the time the second chorus rolled in, he was just amazed at how she could sing those notes while seated down. Her singing really got better. 

Someday you’ll probably call me then I hope you will be a man and congratulate me

Because this is all thanks to you, I’ll prepare a good thank you message for you

He can hear Mark giggling beside him. Johnny pursed his lips as if preventing to laugh. “Hyung, please record her thank you message.” the youngest member teased that made him annoyed. 

Her voice echoed all throughout the venue. Her adlibs hitting notes that she cannot do before and she’s sitting while doing that. 

Slowly, I got over you like that

Their eyes met. Those sparkling eyes. She’s shining. She looks well. She looks better. Without him. 

The fresh air suffocated him, burning his lungs in the process. The thorn that was removed came back and brought friends, a knife tearing his heart into pieces. 

Everything is getting better. For her. Not for him.

The moment he went inside the empty apartment, he felt like breaking down. This is harder than the time she left. He missed her. He’s a wreck without her. A huge mess. Why is he taken over by his jealousy? She deserves to be the center of the relationship. The star. She deserves the whole world. Is it too late for him to get everything back now? He took his phone as a song on the radio played, “Mark, I need your help.” 

Another award show meant another chance to cross paths with her. To Y/N’s surprise, Yuta congratulated her with a wide smile after winning an award. The staffs were repeatedly asking if the members were sure of doing this that made the manager and the leader nod. Johnny was seated in front of the grand piano, Mark on one side with his guitar. Taeil, Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Yuta seated on different chairs in the middle of the stage. (Song)

Johnny started the melody while Mark played his guitar. Jaehyun started the song that made Y/N look at them from the artists’ place. Yuta smiled. Her favorite band. Taeil started singing the chorus with Yuta as back-up vocals. Doyoung sang the second verse while Jaehyun sang the chorus, followed by Taeil. By the end of the song, they lightly glance at Yuta. His last cry for her. 

So I drown it out like I always do

Dancing through our house with the ghost of you

And I chase it down, with the shot of truth

He glanced at her, staring straight to those sparkling eyes. 

That my feet don’t dance like they did with you

The lights dim but he saw her silhouette remain on her seat, shoulders visibly heaving. Behind the spotlight, Yuta finally realized that like a ghost, he cannot shake her off. She’ll keep haunting him because he cannot let go of her. Yuta finally realized that he is still in love with her. 

They had been busy with the concerts abroad and she had been busy with the promotion of her album. Yuta’s co-host quit the radio show and days later, it was announced that she was pregnant. The members were surprised at first but it was her who confirmed that Yuta isn’t the father of the child. The public sympathy went to Yuta for the alleged cheating that the girl had done, making him in the center of the media frenzy once again. 

It was a Japanese radio show when he met Y/N again. He had to promote the Japanese leg of their concert while she promoted her Japanese single. She looked casual greeting him, as if nothing happened but her words echoed in his ears “It’s just work, Yuta.” Maybe it was really nothing to her. 

They were seated next to each other. He watched her put on her headphones then rubbed her palms together. “I kinda forgot Japanese.” she claimed then said a Japanese phrase to introduce herself. “Is that right?” He nodded, his warm gaze still on hers. Too casual. “I’m nervous.” 

He wanted to hug her. Comfort her. Tell her that everything will be alright. That he’s next to her so she doesn’t have to worry about anything. 

But he can’t. She’s not his. 

The host kept on claiming that they looked good together that startled them both. When the staff told him something in Japanese, he kept on apologizing while saying that he doesn’t know that they used to date. She just smiled, shaking her head to avoid the awkwardness. She really did move on. The radio show went smoothly until the last part where they had to sing a duet together. Y/N was obviously surprised. Didn’t she know? “We can skip it if you don’t want to.” Yuta whispered. 

Once again she shook her head. “It’s fine. I just haven’t prepared for it.” she claimed while looking at the music sheet. “The notes are a little high.” 

“You’ll do great. Your singing got better.” She giggled at the reference and he smiled. He missed her laugh. 

Y/N focused on the lyrics, asking the translator to tell her what the words mean or how to pronounce it. Yuta was reading the lyrics, seated next to her when she laughed. “Yuta,” she called and he felt his heart jump from his chest. He missed her voice calling his name. “Should we switch parts?” He looked surprised, curious even. “I mean, the lyrics.” 

Yuta smiled. “Should we?” 

Y/N giggled. “Sometimes I am convinced they’re doing this on purpose.” He smiled while looking at her. He missed her. So much. 

The host was asking repeatedly if they want to continue this, apologizing if it ever makes them uncomfortable but she would just smile and shake her head. He thanked her for being professional and she grinned, making Yuta breathless. He missed her smile. 

They were introduced and she even made a fighting sign at him as the melody started. It was a lonely song and Yuta poured all his feelings on his part. (This is the song they used. Dude, can they just remaster it by asking Yuta to sing this?) 

Long time no see

His eyes turned to her. He missed everything about her. 

We cannot express how we feel

Breath echoes in our ears 

The radio show staff all turned to them in surprise. 

My dear, you’ve already found a new love

She turned to him with her sparkling eyes. 

There is no one like you

I am cheating my heart

He sang while staring at her. She even missed the first beat of her part then smiled while looking at the music sheet in front of them. The bridge of the song came and the staff looked in awe at both of them.  

But you are not mine anymore

They stared at each other while singing those words. By the end of the song, Y/N’s voice was breaking so she stepped farther from the mic immediately. A smile escaped her lips when the host asked if she’s alright, apologizing that she ruined the song. Everyone were giving them compliments, fans commenting on how amazing they deliver the song and wishing that they can do a collab in the future. 

“Y/N,” Yuta called on the hallways of the building. He breathed hard while she just nodded at her manager, asking her to go first. “I…” He started but the words cannot come out of his mouth. I’m sorry. My ego got the worst of me. My insecurity caused our fall. I’m a wreck without you. Please come back to me. 

“Let’s not talk about it, Yuta.” She said while shaking her head. “We were immature. We’re so used to each other that we took each other for granted.” She grinned once again, eyes sparkling. Upon closer look, he figured out why. Her tears were forming. Like little pearls in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Yuta.” The words he cannot tell her. “Let’s be happy, hmm?” 

Yuta smiled, taking the hand she held out. “Can I call you when I am feeling miserable?” 

The girl laughed. “My number didn’t change.” She claimed. “And I still have to give you my thank message.” 

He pulled her close, wrapping her in his arms. “I missed you, Y/N.” 

------

Fans were delighted seeing Y/N and Yuta seated next to each other in the V-live account. A thing they always do every year on their anniversary. She was smiling, her lovely smile, while waving at the camera. Yuta adjusted the camera to capture them both before smiling his angelic smile. 

“I didn’t know your V-live account still works even if it isn’t used for a year.” She claimed, leaning in to read some comments. “I also didn’t know that there are still fans who come in this V-live account.” The number of watching people raised up that startled even Yuta. 

They both introduced themselves in a lively manner before the NCT member explained that they did this V-live as a thank you to fans who trended the song they sang in Japan. “I didn’t know that it would blow up like this.” He claimed and she nodded, even laughing at how embarrassing it is that her voice broke in the end. 

They started reading some comments about how fans missed them together, that they look together, and that their playfulness as a couple came back. “Are you back together?” Yuta read, pointing at the comment. 

“We’re not together together,” Y/N started then emphasized the last word with air quote marks. “We’re just…” She lightly glanced at him who was looking at her, mirroring the same smile she had. “Just patching things up and fixing ourselves.” Yuta continued for her. 

“Is there a possibility of a come back?” 

Y/N giggled before pointing at Yuta. “NCT is coming back with a new album. I’m preparing for a fall comeback.” The guy laughed at that. “Yuta, do you want to be featured in my album?” 

He nodded immediately. “Will you write me a love song?” 

She grinned, shaking her head playfully. “I’m not gonna write you a love song~” she sang before laughing. Yuta chuckled, poking her side playfully. “But we’ll see.” 

The fan asked what they had been up to. Y/N shared that she’s writing songs for her album and Yuta saying that he hangs out with the members often and the preparations for their comeback. “I’ve been hanging out with Jaehyun a lot.” he claimed, “I’ve been liking his music choices lately.” 

“You’re already done with your rocker state?” She asked, feigning a shock. “What song have you been listening to lately?” 

Yuta smiled, taking his phone out of his pocket. He played the song and Y/N smiled that there’s still a rockish feel on it.  (Song)

Oh, all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around

Yuta mouthed the words, trying to look for comments but his gaze was on her while jamming on the song. A smile crept his lips and he saw how one fan pointed out that he’s so in love with her. He is. 

“This song is so nice.” 

“Honestly, it kinda reminds me of you.”

He’s singing ‘She’s a, She’s a lady And I am just a boy’

He’s singing ‘She’s a, She’s a lady’ And I am just a line without a hook’

Oh baby, I am a wreck when I’m without you I need you here to stay

She looked surprised when Yuta sang the lines of the songs. The side of his lips curled up when he saw the sparkle back in her eyes. They talked a bit about what fans should watch out from their respective schedules. They said goodbye in a lively manner before Yuta ended the V-live. 

Y/N leaned on the couch, breathing heavily. She lightly glanced at Yuta and he smiled. “Want to get some sushi?” She nodded, grinning widely. 

Yuta cannot shake her off. Like a ghost, she will keep haunting him. And hopefully, she can come back to him. 

[tainted-wine]

The Spring Bird Survival Guide

Hawks x Reader (NSFW)

(So many of you have asked for a part two of my rutting Hawks fic. I gave in! I have no idea how this holds up compared to the first, but I hope you enjoy!)

Read Part 1 if you haven’t! This takes place directly after those events!

Words: 10k (WHOOPS)

Warnings: None, except for an absurd amount of scene transitions that hopefully don’t get too confusing.

-----------------------------------------------

Tuesday

The chorus of songbirds can be heard right outside of Hawks’s window, their small shapes dashing past and making the peeking sunlight flicker across the bedroom. It sounds like it’s gonna be a beautiful day. He’d be elated, if he wasn’t feeling so ill already.

The fever and itch were coming back, like a hot rash that he couldn’t scratch because it was inside of him. He was really hoping to never feel such a hellish sensation ever again.

He slowly peeled the thick sheets off, making sure not to disturb his bedmate as he sat up. There’s no way the quirk’s effects were returning, is there? Last night, the feeling had only gotten weaker with every passing hour. Now it has returned, not in full force, but once again difficult to ignore. He peered over his shoulder to check on his guest.

You were still sound asleep, worn body supported by pillows all over as if you were in danger of falling apart. While Hawks was healing that night, your aches had only gotten worse. He at least managed to convince you that you were in no condition to drive back home and the safer choice was to stay at his place. You were still wearing the clothes he gave you, while he himself donned only a cozy pair of pants. Such a shame that you didn’t take kindly to his request to sleep nude together. Seriously, what was even the issue? He’s already seen every inch of your body, and in every angle possible.

Every hot, sweaty, mouthwatering angle possible.

The internal fire suddenly rushed to his groin, making him slap a hand over his mouth to muffle a groan. He shouldn’t be around you in this state; might as well get up early and prepare for work.

The moment he was on his feet and stretching, a buzz was heard on the nightstand. Your phone vibrated against the smooth wood as it lit up and revealed the caller’s name.

Ah, the good ol’ deputy.

What that nagging old man wanted was between him and you. It wasn’t Hawks’s right to force himself between whatever matters the two of you had to discuss.

Those facts aren’t going to stop his nosy ass, however.

The phone was snatched from the stand without a second thought, the hero walking out of the room as quickly and quietly as possible before answering. “Mornin’, sir,” Hawks greeted. You were the only ‘superior’ he could toy with; any unruly behavior around the actual important people came with a high risk of punishment. Taking his frustrations out on you has been a blast, but after the bind you freed him from yesterday…

“Hawks? May I ask what you’re doing with your handler’s phone?” The deputy questioned.

‘I completely wrecked her last night. The poor lady didn’t survive.’ He considered the joke for a second, but decided that the stuffy bastard wouldn’t appreciate it. “She’s still snoozing. Yesterday was pretty rough on her. I think she deserves a little slack.”

“That’s not for you to decide,” he said sternly, like he was offended that Hawks dared to make a suggestion. Hell, he probably was. “Well, since you’re here, I suppose I can ask you directly. How are you feeling? Has the quirk worn off?”

His wings flapped and fanned himself. “Oh, so much better, sir! You guys have the best solutions to everything, don’t you? Never doubted you for a second.” Truthfully, if his moral compass was more stable, he’d say that offering an unsuspecting woman to him like some maiden sacrifice was just a little twisted. He can’t help but wonder if he would have refused if he was thinking straight at the time.

“Very good. So you are not feeling any lingering effects? Do your usual rutting symptoms feel stronger at all?”

“Eh…” Hawks hesitated. Should he bother trying to hide it? If there’s anything he’s learned from his mentally taxing undercover work, it’s that half-truths are often the best answer. “Feels like it’s still floating around in me, but nothing to worry about. It won’t be getting in the way of my work.”

“That’s great to hear. We don’t want you hurting your image with any more of your brutish displays in public. Please keep those special traits to yourself.”

That made his lip twitch. It really shouldn’t bother him. The Commission has always expressed their distaste for his more animalistic habits, but fuck, would it kill them to at least show some pity when it’s his very own instincts that are causing his suffering? “You got it, sir.” His calm response didn’t betray his irritation.

“And if you do start having issues, then I recommend that you turn to your handler again. In fact, I was calling to inform her that we have found a more competent individual to replace her.”

Oh. That’s…ouch.

“Really? I kinda like her,” Hawks admitted. It’s pretty awkward to be discussing your possible termination on your phone during a call that was meant for you.

The deputy gave a dry laugh. “Of course you do. She has absolute zero control over you. I was hoping you were mature and disciplined enough to not take advantage of her inexperience, but I suppose I was expecting too much of you.”

Yeah, he kinda was, honestly. No argument there. “So sorry, sir. I won’t let it happen again.” Maybe.

“You better make sure of it. As I was saying, we’ll keep her around in case you are in need of more relief. Once your hormones have stabilized, I will give her the news and you will be rid of her.”

Hawks actually snorted from just how fucked up that plan was.

The cruel man ignored the sound and went on. “Can I trust you to stay quiet about this? I’d rather not have to deal with any constant badgering for however long this goes on.”

‘Totally! There’s no need for her to know that she’s only being kept around to be my fucktoy and then get fired immediately afterwards.’ Man, what an organization that he works for. Too bad they have him whipped and incapable of defying them. “Your secret’s safe with me, sir.”

“Good. Well, this call didn’t go as planned, but it was satisfying enough. I’m expecting you to remain in top condition during your duties. Do not disappoint us.” He hung up without waiting for Hawks’s response.

The winged man didn’t even notice the perspiration quickly coating his body until the phone nearly slipped out of his slick hands. As he returned to his room and placed your device back where it was, he couldn’t help but watch your sleeping form.

You were always cute, he’s not gonna lie about that. Finding new ways to embarrass you on the job became a new type of thrill for him. Your blushful glares never got old.

But he never thought that he’d see you like this, or the state that you were in yesterday. His mind was barely there as he was shrouded in that prankster of a villain’s quirk, but he could still feel you all over his extra sensitive feathers. He was practically drowning in you at the time.

The smell of your arousal. The taste of the glaze on your pussy. The sweet songs of pleasure. The look of overwhelming bliss on your face.

Your soft skin, and your hot wet opening that he wanted to invade over and over again…

“Keigo?”

He doesn’t know when you woke up, or when the hell he crawled into the bed with his face so close to yours that he could feel your breath. “Uh…”

“Are you alright? You’re looking feverish again. And…” You looked down in concern, and Hawks followed your gaze to see the full erection that totally snuck up on him.

“Whoa! Sorry about that! Little guy doesn’t know when to quit.” Hawks scooted away, trying and failing to hide the tent in his pants.

You attempted to sit up, only to wince and settle back down. “Dammit, I can’t believe how much I’m hurting from yesterday. This is embarrassing.” You groaned and snuggled up to the many pillows.

He couldn’t resist planting a kiss on your forehead, ignoring how the brief contact made his hardness twitch. “Sorry, angel. Really wish I wasn’t such an animal back there. Just stay still; I’ll get you some fresh water for your painkillers.”

You look like you wanted to say something, but decided on closing your eyes and trying to relax instead. “Thanks.”

He was already rushing out of the room, heading into the kitchen to fill the empty glass while considering dowsing himself in the cold tap water.

Why, why the fuck was it coming back? Just looking at you was making his vision foggy again. It can’t be his rut; it never made him this excited before. He didn’t have the courage to return to the bed, alternatively placing the cup onto a hardened feather and floating it back to you. He stayed where he was, leaning against the sink and wiping at his face. The heat remained at a manageable level as long as he kept his distance from you, but he wanted to stay close. He had to stay close and protect the woman he was now mated to.

Wait, what?

“Keigo?” He heard you call out and was pulled from his confusing thoughts. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Hawks gave a laugh that didn’t sound all that convincing to his own ears. “Bad news, babe. I think I’m still a horny bird,” he confessed.

There was a pause. Maybe you had taken a sip. “I don’t know if they told you, but when the deputy explained your…situation, he said that the symptoms of your rut will probably be amplified until it’s over.”

Ah, the old man did mention that over the phone. He only had about a week of his yearly phase left, but if this all means intensified aggression and arousal, not to mention the attachment to the lady he just banged for several hours…

This was going to be a very difficult week.

“Babe?” He said just loud enough for you to hear.

“Yes?”

“…I really fucked up by not taking my meds, didn’t I?”

He didn’t exactly hear your sigh, but it was still felt through his wings. “I’m afraid you did.”

Yeah, this was all his fault. This bullshit would only be half as painful if he was still taking his stupid hormone medication like he has been for years. Not only do these unrestrained imbalances feel foreign to his body, but Libido’s quirk practically put them on steroids.

The medicine’s side effects don’t sound all that bad anymore.

—————

Hawks had already eaten a slice of leftover pizza by the time you finally mustered up the strength to get up. The feel of your entire lower body cramping made you whimper and stumble.

He was already scrambling back in to catch you and hold you up, his high body temperature startling you. “Thank you,” you said wearily.

He froze for a second before jumping back, the sudden loss of support almost making you fall anyway. He wordlessly strutted over to his wardrobe, withdrawing a fresh pair of underwear. 

You looked away when the pants were pulled down and his hardness sprang free. He’s not just going to ignore that, is he?

“Keigo, do you need to…do this…again?” You asked, tuning out the throb of your muscles.

He chuckled as he began to dress himself . “You are not up for more sex, baby. Don’t even act like it when you can barely stand.”

You huffed. “You’re getting really hot again and you shouldn’t go out feeling like th—”

“Nope.” His boner is covered again, somewhat. He stares at the obvious protrusion before shrugging and retrieving his hero outfit.

Even with your aches, you had the grit to push on. “As long as you go slow, I can probably handle it.”

“Mmmm, can’t promise that,” he murmured while momentarily detaching his wings in order to squeeze into his tight black shirt. “The second I’m inside you, I might lose control and shatter your pelvis.”

That’s horrifying, but… “I trust you.”

“I don’t trust me.”

“Keigo…”

“And don’t get too attached to that name, dove. Can’t have it slipping out in public.”

“I wouldn’t do that. I’m not stupid.”

“Could’ve fooled me, since you’ve offered me your tender pussy twice already. Do you want me to pound you into mush?”

“Language, Hawks!” You strictly reminded him, undeterred by your wobbly legs as you tried to remind him who was in charge.

Hawks shot you a look, his face crinkled into furrowed eyebrows and a crooked grin, a look that screamed ‘Seriously?’

“Listen, ma’am, wood happens. I’ve dealt with it plenty of times like any other guy, so I’m telling you that I don’t need to bang to get rid of this.” He pulled up his tan loose pants, the bulge not as obvious, but still visible. “But if you really insist on ordering me to fuck you silly, be my guest.”

You weren’t exactly going to do that, it’s just that Hawks was acting so unfazed by his strong arousal, but his body was very clearly telling a different story. His breathing was heavier than necessary, and every time after he made eye contact with you, it’s like he had to spend a minute to compose himself. However, if he’s confident that he can endure…

“Fine,” you sighed, watching him suit up with more interest than you cared to admit. You hobbled on out and into the kitchen.

“Need help, granny?” You heard him offer. “I can fly you to your place if your legs still aren’t working.”

“I’m fine,” you grumbled in annoyance at both him and your uncooperative limbs. The fridge was yanked open and you frowned at its contents. The pizza and chicken wings were the only real food he had, the rest being sugary snacks or microwave meals. Looks like ‘keeping a healthy diet’ will have to be added to your Hawks Maintenance list.

The flaps of wings were heard behind you as Hawks headed for the door, fully geared up and ready for hero work. “Welp, you’re a big girl that can handle yourself. Drive safely, babe. Can’t wait to hear what you have to nag me about at the office.”

“Hmph,” you gave a smirk of your own when you turned away from the humming microwave. “Probably about the next mistake you make for all of the internet to see.”

He waved dismissively and opened the door, the morning sun illuminating him with an enchanting glow. “Come on, have some faith in me. I’ll be careful.”

Crimson wings spread as he steps outside, but the door closes before you can watch him take off.

—————

Buzzfood.com

HAWKS SPORTS STIFFY ON THE JOB

Written by Yuki Burushito

Now, I know that I’ve been posting enough Hawks-related articles to last a year, but can you blame me with all the weird behavior he’s been exhibiting this month? You probably think that I have a boner for the guy, but let me tell you this: one of us has a boner, and it isn’t me.

Everyone’s favorite hawk was hiding a woodpecker in his pants today. The best part is that it apparently lasted hours, given that it was mentioned in several incidents throughout the day, but the clearest example was when he subdued a mugger at noon, which was filmed by a bystander and is already making the rounds across the web.

Yet another extreme apprehension from Hawks—though it doesn’t top the beating he gave to that frisky peacock—I sure didn’t expect the fast-working hero to swoop down on a fleeing thief and slam him into the ground. I’m certain that a few feathers would have done the job just fine. When the pinned mugger felt Hawks Jr. poking at his back, he lifted his busted face off the ground and screamed, “Is this shit turning you on?!”

While everyone is currently having a field day with that meme-able clip, the answer is most likely no. Hawks was hard before the mugging occurred. Since I’ll probably be writing about him again by...I don’t know, tomorrow, I’ll cut to the chase. You have probably heard the theories that Hawks is experiencing some sort of rut. 

Well, it’s time for me to come out and say that I fully support those theories. “But Mr. Burushito!” I hear you say. “If this is something as regular as a rut, how come he’s never acted this wild before?” My answer to that is: I have no idea. He’s still a rather young man; maybe whatever sexual cycles his body possesses have only started appearing recently.

Honestly, you can never be sure with mutant types. Their bodies never make any damn sense.

“I take offense to that last sentence.”

You didn’t react to Hawks’s comment as you both read the article on your phones. After seeing multiple images of ‘Hard Hawks’, as he’s been nicknamed, taken by several random civilians and shared on their social media accounts, you knew it was only a matter of time before these petty news sites decided to take a bite out of the fresh meat.

Maybe this was your fault for trusting the hormonal bird that was currently seated in front of you while you stood across his desk. The only reason you aren’t scolding him right now is because he already looks so damn miserable. He had removed his protective headphones and visor right after finishing his patrols. A desk fan was turned to its highest setting, blowing directly into the hero’s sweaty face as he tried his hardest to focus on the small screen in his hands. He hasn’t looked at you since you’ve entered the office, but distressed or not, there was a certain matter you had to discuss.

“The deputy apparently called me this morning,” you started, ready to see how he reacts.

You notice him tense for just a second as he continues to scroll through whatever it is he’s looking at.

“It says that I had taken the call, but I sure don’t remember that. What I do remember is that you were awake before me.” Your hands were on your hips, waiting for Hawks to answer to your unspoken accusation. “Well?”

He still stared down at his phone, but it didn’t seem like he was actually looking at anything, his mind elsewhere. “Yeah yeah, I talked to him,” he admitted groggily.

You’re more angered by the fact that the deputy never bothered to call you back, leaving you in the dark from whatever he and Hawks had discussed. “So, what did you two talk about? You know, during my call that was meant for me?”

Hawks finally laid his glassy eyes on you. The energy surrounding him was drastically different from this morning and it made you just a tad anxious. Your body truly didn’t feel up to it when you offered him more sex this morning, but you knew it would be better than him reverting to another delirious state. “In a nutshell, he wants us to keep fucking until I’m better.”

Your eyes widened in shock. “What? He didn’t think it was important to tell me about this?”

He leaned far back into his chair and smiled, beads of sweat trickling down his neck. “Guess not. But hey, you’re doing your job anyway, already serving yourself to me the minute you see a hard-on.”

You glared, considering storming out of the room and calling that asshole immediately. “I don’t appreciate him expecting me to be your personal whore.”

“I know, I know. He’s a real douche, isn’t he? How about we both blow off some steam?” He was already scooting out of his chair and making his way around the desk. “I’m just making one mistake after another. Shoulda just said yes to you this morning. Never pays to be a nice guy, does it?” His voice was sounding rougher with each word, like his throat was changing into a sandpaper tube as he stopped right in front of you.

You trembled, making the mistake of looking down and spotting the erection that was very much still present.

For the sake of your still-burning body, you might need some time to mentally prepare for this. “Alright…but before we leave, just let me—”

“Leave?” Two hands clasped onto your shoulders hard, holding you in place. The raptorial eyes held yours captive, stirring up a heat within you despite your unease. “We’re doing this right here, right now.”

“Wha-I-but-” Your stutters were ignored as he turned you to the desk and bent you over, your back muscles screaming in protest. All of his weight was pressing into you, his deprived cock pushing against your ass.

“And everyone’s already left for tonight, so it’s just you and me.” He’s eagerly yanking your pants down then does the same for his own. 

His fingers wasted no time in groping your sex, the swipes against your folds triggering a steady flow of slick arousal. There should be no one else in the building at this time, but your paranoia still makes you clap a hand over your mouth as you gasp from his sinful touches.

“Mmm, already getting wet for me?” He cooed behind you, his breath feeling like heat emanating from an open flame. “My brave little hen, willing to take as many poundings as she can.”

That’s a pet name you haven’t heard before. Teeth scrape across the space between your neck and shoulder while the head of his cock lubricates itself along your fleshy petals. When he pierces you with a strong jab of his hips, the light nips on your skin become a full-on bite, muffling his own cry. For you, however, the sharp sensation of being filled so suddenly combined with the pain of his teeth pinching into the crook of your neck had you wailing through your hand.

He was already setting a quick pace, giving your bitten area a few apologetic licks before leaning back to properly grip your hips and plow you. Your entire body was rocked forward with each impact, the harsh stroking of your inner walls bringing forth a raw pleasure that you admittedly missed.

But that wasn’t enough to ignore the resurging aches all over you. Your sensitive ass cheeks have become very familiar with slapping against his abdomen, every pleasurable collision also shooting pain up your lower back, and his probing dick was showing no mercy to your delicate insides.

“Haw—ah, Hawks! You need…you need to slow down!” You quavered.

The only response was a series of savage pants and growls as his violent movements continued, informing you that all of his sense and reasoning has disappeared once again. You remember the warning he gave you this morning, and fear that his quip about breaking your pelvis may have been more than just a joke.

You try to twist yourself just enough to see his face and speak to him more directly, but a hand on your back shoves you hard onto the desk, leaving your breasts and belly to scrape against the wooden surface. At least you weren’t fully stripped for this.

How the hell did this happen so fast? He was speaking just a minute ago! Do the after-effects of Libido’s quirk ruin Hawks’s mind that quickly the second his dick touches a pussy?

A moan was being ripped from your throat with every thrust as he upped the speed and force. He was showing no signs of stopping, and your thighs were beginning to cramp. The mixture of colorful pleasure and throbbing pains was making every inch of you shake. His fierce sounds were becoming distant—even with your legs on the verge of giving out and your back muscles crying, you welcomed the fog of bliss that was ready to carry you away.

Your poor legs finally crumpled like frail sticks, only for the frustrated animal behind you to lift your hips up until your entire body was on the desk, arms now dangling over the edge. There was only enough time to reposition your numbed limbs into a low doggy position before Hawks was climbing onto the desk himself, crouching over you and wasting no time in continuing his pummeling.

“Haw…ah…nngh…” Your feeble attempt to speak was quickly squandered. The new angle allowed him to easily strike your more sensitive spots, making your moans even louder. The desk jolted with each powerful jerk of his hips, the feral hero’s wings extending and flapping in sync with his thrusts, papers flying off the desk from the gusts of wind. Through all of the soreness and delightful trembles, you wondered what the current scene looked like to a spectator—the sight of this delirious bird beast, sounding a loud lustful tune of primal urges and carnal desires as he hysterically claimed you.

Your eyes roll back as the hot ripples in your core grow into pulsating waves, Hawks’s unwavering strokes prolonging the intoxicating climax as you quiver under him. You thought you heard a sound from the staggering desk—a snap—but your mind was too far gone at the moment to care.

Hawks tried desperately to keep pumping through your tightening walls, but your delicious grasp on him was draining his stamina. You were gripping the edge of his workspace for dear life, the orgasmic throbs still wracking your body as he rabbit fucked you, ready to fill your womb with the load that has been prepared since morning…

It all happened in slow motion...the sound of wood and metal breaking, the weightless feeling of falling...you had registered it all just a second too late. Your abused body dropped with the collapsing desk, Hawks’s weight crashing down on top of you while papers slowly floated toward the floor. Both of you laid there in agony, the chair somehow falling over and onto Hawks for added insult. A few groaned words revealed that the winged man was fully aware again.

“Augh, fuck…my balls.”

—————

Wednesday

“Here’s all of the completed paperwork, Hawks sir!”

Hawks beamed at the intern entering his office with a stack of papers. “Ah, thanks, Springer! You’re a real lifesaver, ya know that?”

The aspiring ‘Bouncing Hero’ hopped excitedly on his peculiar coiled legs as he handed over the documents. “Thank you, sir! I’m always here whenever I am needed.” He bowed respectfully. “Although, I just…forgive me for feeling the need to remind you, but please do not forget that I took this internship to do hero work, not to sort and fill papers.”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t forget,” Hawks assured him, taking the cursed heap of papers. You were usually the one that he shoves all of his office-related tasks on, but whenever you were preoccupied, he would pass the burden onto a trainee that was too starry-eyed to acknowledge that they were being used. Yes, he feels a little bad, but his hatred of reading endless forms was too strong for him to care much. “I gotta test your patience and comprehension first, then I’ll be taking you out into the field with me. You’re doing great!” He bullshitted with a smile.

Springer perked up at the words. “Of course! I’ll keep doing my best!” His eyes kept drifting to the large empty space in the room. “Sir, what happened to your desk?”

Hawks looked over at the open spot, feigning surprise as if noticing it for the first time. “Oh, right. I banged my handler on it ’til it broke.”

“…”

“…”

The teen searched the man’s eyes for several long seconds, looking for something, before bursting into boisterous laughter. Hawks joined in with his own chuckles.

“You’re very funny, sir! But I don’t think she would appreciate such a joke. Whatever happened, I hope you get a replacement soon!” He bowed again before walking—well, more like skipping out of the room.

Hawks’s smile didn’t fade when he was alone again, wondering where to place the heavy stack in his hands.

Sometimes the truth makes for the best lie.

—————

Pleasing Hawks when he was a drooling horndog was a challenging test of endurance, but at least it was simple and straightforward. All you gotta do is let him mount you and brace yourself.

But that option was currently out of the question. Your entire body was just too damn stiff and sore, every single movement feeling like the impaired motions of an unoiled tinman. Nevertheless, you still needed to get rid of Hawks’s brand new boner.

So here you were, back at his bed and kneeling on the floor, shyly licking at the swollen rod in your hands. You weren’t the most experienced at this, paying close attention to his noises and responses that came with every action from your fingers and tongue. Hawks was watching your performance with an agitated glare, which was just a tad troubling and added extra pressure.

You licked the prominent vein on the underside of his dick, tracing it up to his bulging head before taking him into the hot cavern of your mouth. He groaned through painfully clenched teeth; he seemed to be enjoying it, yet it looked like his frustration was only growing.

Not yet deterred, you began to suck at him, head bobbing up and down while your hand jerked the extra inches that you couldn’t take in. Your other hand gently held and caressed his enlarged sack, heavy and full of cum that refused to be freed into your mouth. His cock was twitching wildly in your throat, so he has to be close, right? Ignoring the burning in your back and….everything else, honestly, you placed all of your focus on engulfing as much of him as you could, tongue swirling all around him until he inevitably gives in.

But a hand grabs your head and yanks you off of him with a wet surprised gasp.

“Stop…stop…it’s just getting worse.” He choked in a broken voice, staring down at the impossibly hard and red erection.

You wiped off the saliva that had run down your chin. “Why won’t you cum?”

His thighs trembled from all of the unreleased tension; you rubbed them to hopefully calm him just a bit. “Fuck, I…it’s like I can’t do it unless I’m…dammit!” The sudden beat of his angry wings spooked you.

You drew a deep breath. You really weren’t up for this, but leaving him in this state would be too cruel. Not to mention it was putting him in a very sour mood. Hoisting yourself onto the bed (with a few pained whimpers), you faced away from him and lowered your upper body to rest your arms, your ass raised and ready for him.

“You know, Keigo,” you started casually, as if you weren’t laid out in such a compromising position. “When I took this job, I imagined the countless situations I could possibly end up in. I was afraid I’d get caught in the middle of some villainous scheme, like a hostage situation. My silly fangirl side imagined going on dates with my favorite hero. The list of scenarios went on and on.”

The man behind you didn’t say anything, so you kept going. “And yet, ‘presenting myself to Hawks so that he can hump me senseless’ was not on that never-ending list.

He gave an awkward laugh, still sounding as if his throat was constricted. “You don’t have to, babe. I can…I dunno…”

“Just fuck me already.”

Hawks said no more and took hold of your rear. “I’ll try to take it slow. I’ll try.”

He tried and failed. Once he penetrated you, he completely lost himself again. By the time he was satisfied, every fiber of your being was dimmed and immobilized. He helped you get tucked into bed that night.

—————

Thursday

“Please, sir. I’m quite concerned for my health. This would be easier if he was away from the excitement of his work.”

After mulling it over, you had decided to be the one to reach out to the deputy, since he didn’t seem interested in calling you again anytime soon. Your original plan was to brave through the fury of Hawks’s dick until this damn rut ended, just like the deputy intended without your say in the matter.

But when you had to visit the doctor for your pains today, and you walked out with a fucking crutch under your arm, you realized this was all a bit much.

At the moment, you were trying to negotiate for letting Hawks take at least a day or two away from work. The deputy didn’t seem convinced. “Hawks once managed to keep working for an entire day with a broken wing and no visits to the hospital, and you mean to tell me that he should rest just because he has the hormonal urges of a teenager?” His snobbish ass questioned.

“This is—!” You inhaled sharply through your nose, catching yourself and lowering your voice. “This is much stronger than that, sir. Without getting into detail, I have withstood some back-breaking nights.” You consider telling him about your recent hospital visit, but the remaining shreds of your pride wouldn’t allow you to share that. Even you didn’t want to believe that Hawks has literally fucked you until you couldn’t walk.

You heard him snort in your ear. Ugh. “Doesn’t sound like anything a steady dose of painkillers can’t fix,” he dismissed.

You gave up making him understand your suffering and tried something else. “Sir, Hawks has faithfully served the Commission since he was a child. He has become one of the most accomplished heroes this generation has ever seen. His skills and dedication have done nothing but help the Commission become a more positive icon all over Japan. Don’t you think such a loyal and hard-working hero deserves at least one day off?”

“No.”

Well, shit. “…Alright, um, thank you for taking the time to hear me. I’ll get back to my duties.”

“Yes, that would be great,” he said listlessly before hanging up.

What an asshole.

—————

“What happened?”

Hawks’s words carry a dangerous tone when he sees you enter his office with the help of your walking aid. It makes you pause.

Going by the sharp yet troubled look in his eyes, you could tell that the tone wasn’t directed at you. ‘Did someone hurt you?’  That’s what he was really asking. His concern always warmed you. “Nothing, I just…” You hate reminding yourself that this even happened. “The pains were getting really bad.”

It takes a minute for those words to sink in, then his eyes widen in some sort of amazement. “Oh.” A flurry of feathers fly off of his wings and form a small floating cushion in front of you. “There, have a seat. Don’t want you hurting anymore than you already do.”

You eye the levitating seat before approaching and lowering yourself onto it. It was like a soft yet firm pillow, and you didn’t miss how the feathers seemed to all shiver, red barbs shaking rapidly as you adjusted your rump.

“Thank you,” you said while resting the crutch onto your lap. Once you were comfortable, you looked at the hero and the brand new furniture between the both of you. “I like your new desk.”

“Thanks. This one is pure steel, much more durable.” He winked.

You return it with a roll of your eyes. “Wonderful. Anyhow, I want to discuss a local hero event coming in two weeks. Your presence would do well to—” you noticed that he was snickering, lips pursed in a strained effort not to fully laugh. “Did I say something funny?”

He shook his head while short amused breaths still escaped him. “I’m sorry, I know you’re hurting and all, but…” He was cackling now, hunching over the desk as he struggled to explain. “I can’t believe I put you in crutches!”

Your face burned with both embarrassment and anger at how hilarious he found the situation. “Hawks…”

He coughed and noisily cleared his throat. “Sorry, I promise to keep it in my pants from now on.” A mischievous grin was plastered on his face. “I mean, I don’t wanna put you in a wheelchair next!”

With a wheeze and happily flailing wings, Hawks keeled over onto the desk with his face buried in his arms, the laughs muffled but still going strong. You just watch with a frown, listening to his mumbled joke about how ‘once you go hawk, you won’t be able to walk’.

What an asshole.

—————

Saturday

Hawks was definitely getting better. You could tell with each passing day, taking mental notes on how he was having an easier time holding your gaze, or how he was able to stay close to you without growing in his pants. Thank god, because your body was still recovering. Another round of wild sex will only cripple you further.

That’s why the incident currently being reviewed on television was filling you with dread. You sat in the main room of Hawks’s house, the house that you practically lived in for nearly a week, watching coverage of the recent attack at the Fukuoka City Mall. The footage of various species of birds flying into the shopping center and swarming the unsuspecting civilians was almost comical, the colorful animals squawking loudly as they snatched every shiny valuable in sight.

A man with the head of a macaw, apparently going by the villain name of Parakill, stood at the center of the chaos, chirping excitedly as his fowl goons showered him in jewels and baubles. His robbery was cut short when small red blurs whizzed into the scene, pinning the criminal onto the floor and chasing around the army of birds until they surrendered their stolen goods. You weren’t prepared for the deafening chorus of tweets and shrieks when the winged hero stepped into the camera’s line of sight.

The restrained villain was cawing and screeching angrily, most likely commanding his birds. You couldn’t see Hawks’s face clearly due to the distance and quality, but you could still make out the intimidating glare as his wings slowly spread out into their full span, each individual feather looking slightly sharpened. Any bird that made a move was quickly poked with a red quill, each and every one of them eventually staying in place while uttering quiet submissive peeps. Parakill’s look of rage slowly morphed into one of fear. Once the danger was surely dealt with, Hawks called for any lingering citizens to leave the area while he retrieved the villain.

You were still in awe as the news switched to another story. Some sort of dominance was asserted there. You weren’t sure how, but it definitely happened. The worrying part was that tapping into his primal instincts like that has probably riled him up. Christ, he’s probably rushing over right now to fuck you into the mattress again.

Only about thirty minutes had passed when you hear the twist of the doorknob and the front door opening. You stand in anxious anticipation. How disheveled and hungry is he going to look? Is he going to jump you on sight?

But the Hawks that walks in is…composed, his face free of tension and layers of sweat as he spots you and offers a friendly smile. “Sup.”

You’re too stunned to give anything more than a “Hey” as he walks past you and heads for his room.

It’s a miracle. No sexual excitement after such a tense encounter with not only a villain, but another male bird mutant? Was he truly getting that much better? There wasn’t enough certainty to approach him while he was changing, so you stayed on the couch and stared at the large screen until he chose to come out on his own.

You were still channel surfing by the time he was strutting over in his loose and comfy clothes, plopping down onto the couch with a wing outstretched and tucking itself behind your back. You gulped—not sure what he had planned for you.

“Relax. You’re acting like I’m gonna eat you,” he teased, watching you flip through the TV’s guide.

“You’re not? I can’t be too sure after what happened today.” You turned to him, watching his keen golden eyes shift and meet yours. The gaze wasn’t glassy. It wasn’t predatory. “You really feel alright?”

“Haven’t felt this good in the past two weeks. It’s nice to be a civil human again.”

You relaxed a bit and shuffled in your seat, fully aware of how his wing was wrapped around your shoulder like an affectionate arm. “About the attack at the mall…” You began. “What exactly was happening there?”

“What, you mean what I did to the birds? Parakill was trying to sic them on me.” He straightened up with a grinning face that radiated pride. “So I rearranged the pecking order. His birds don’t answer to him anymore.”

Your eyes widened in disbelief. “You didn’t. You can do that?”

“Sure can! It’s not that hard. I mean, don’t think that I have a bunch of attack birds at my command now.  Animal control took them in to be relocated, not to mention some of them were illegal exotics.”

“Ah, that’s…impressive.”

“Heh, remember this, babe,” he leaned in until his lips were grazing your ear, his lowered voice and hot breath making you shudder. “I’m always the top bird.”

You shake off his flirting and try to keep your composure. “Right, of course. I’m just really glad that you’re getting better.”

His wing pulled you in for a tight hug that made you squeak. “All thanks to my sweet hen of a handler. Couldn’t have gotten through this without you.” He heard your pained grunts and instantly released you. “Whoops, sorry.”

You rolled your stiff shoulders and sighed. “It’s fine. You’re not the only one who’s getting better. Just do me a favor and try to forget that I was ever this sore from sex.”

Hawks laughed softly as he took your hands in his. The gesture surprised you after experiencing days of rough and impatient touches. “Hey,” he was almost whispering, forcing you to lean in closer to hear him. “It’s been a wild week. My mind’s been all over the place and I’ve put you through a lot. And…” He looked away with his brows pinched in a pained expression, troubled over something you didn’t know about. Before you could ask, his face drew closer, until your foreheads were pressed together. “Mind if I do one more thing with you?”

You were completely lost. You didn’t understand the sudden tenderness, his somber mood, or why he was talking with some sort of finality to his words.

“Let me take you to bed.”

The fuck?

“Keigo,” you leaned away from him, paying no mind to how you already missed his warm closeness. “I said I was getting better, but I’m not that much better.”

He shook his head, bringing your hands closer to his chest. “No, not like that. Just…I wanna do this properly with you for once. Some nice, regular sex. Hell, doesn’t even have to be full-on sex, I just want to…feel you.”

Your eyebrows raised. “Feel me?” You repeated.

He nodded eagerly with a big-ass smile. The normally cheeky young man was acting so genuine right now.

It was hard to say no to that.

“Alright.”

Hawks said no more, pulling you up on your feet and taking you to the room you both have shared for several nights. He was quick in removing your clothes, peeling each article off smoothly before doing the same to his own. The mood felt so different from your other intimate meetups that you couldn’t help but feel modest all over again.

Calloused hands were gently pushing you down onto your back, and you watch as the handsome man above opens up his wings, his eyes closed as if entering a trance.

“Whenever we fucked, I never felt like I was really there,” he recalled out loud, looking more relaxed than you’ve ever seen. “I could feel you, see you, hear you, but it’s like my body was moving on its own. I was in the backseat of my own head.”

With a deep inhale and exhale, he stared down at you with a look of desire, but not the savage kind. You’re not quite sure what it was…maybe the look of a lover.

Fingers traced your face, trailing down your cheek, brushing your lips, and skimming over your well-marked neck. “Now I finally get to feel you however I want.”

Your breath caught in your throat when his lips made contact with the flesh right over your pulse, planting a few light kisses before mouthing at your neck, the random swipe of a tongue making you gasp.

His open wings twitched in response at the small sound. He was trying to savor every single one of your reactions. That’s intense.

He was in no rush, mouth moving down slowly and stopping to observe the bruise near your shoulder. “Damn, I bit you hard. That’s…when we were in the office, right?” he asked.

You hummed and nodded. “Don’t worry, it wasn’t as painful as a fully grown man falling on top of me after ramming me through a desk.”

Hawks chuckled at the memory while rolling your breast around in his hands. “Man, that really crushed my nuts. I swear my voice was a pitch higher for the rest of the night.” He laughed into your tits, licking at the squishy mounds as he took in each of your shivers and moans.

“Maybe, but that was probably just from you crying about how you could no longer give me chicks.” Yeah, that was a weird time.

“Shh, that didn’t happen,” he denied.

“Yes, it did. I had to hold you as you sobbed.”

“Lies.”

“You were worse than I’ve ever been on my perio—ah!” A bite on your nipple silenced you.

Hawks shot you a playful glare, daring you to say more. When your mouth stayed shut, he gave a satisfied purr and sucked at the same perky bud, soothing the sting before moving on to the other.

You felt relaxed; this was all so much calmer than what you have gotten used to. While you won’t deny that his feral side was as pleasurable as it was tiring, at least you can finally take the time to breathe and soak up what he’s doing. Judging from his vibrating feathers, he probably felt the same.

He licked down your stomach while his hands ran down your sides until they reached the purple finger-shaped blemishes on your hips. He winced at the sight. “Ouch.”

“Yeah, ouch.”

He nurtured the marks with his mouth, careful not to apply too much pressure and cause any pain.

“You don’t have to be so delicate,” you hesitantly tell him. “The day you were under the quirk’s influence, you uh, you were doing the same to the bruises on my back…felt kind of good.”

His lips curved into a devilish smile. “Oh, so you like a little pain? My innocent little hen?”

“Shut up,” you said with a blush. “It’s your fault that I’ve felt everything but innocent lately.”

“True, true. I didn’t mean to open you up to the wonderful world of rough play.” His mouth closes around a bruise and sucks hard, shooting a sharp pleasurable burn that traveled straight down to your core. “Ooooh, I felt that.”

You can only whimper as he laps at the sensitive area, but part of you wants him to bring that scary jolt of pain again.

“I wanna know,” he says between licks. “Just how much did you enjoy me letting loose on you? How many times did we do it the first day?”

A few more kisses are laid on your hips before he continues his descent. Your breath quickens in nervous excitement when he nestles his head between your legs, face dangerously close to your hot sex.

“Come on, hen. At least give me a guess.” He turns to your thighs and showers them with timid pecks.

The sheets beneath you crinkle under your death grip. “Don’t know…lost count after the seventh time,” you admit through gritted teeth.

“Aww, what a shame,” his mouth wanders further inside your thigh. “Do you know how many times you came?”

“I don’t know. A lot.”

He bit into you and enjoyed the resulting yelp. “Mmmm, definitely a lot. Enough to knock you out. So sad that neither of us remember just how thoroughly I wrecked you.”

His naughty lips are just an inch away from your nether ones, your breath quickening in anticipation. Hawks looks up at you, most likely enjoying the view of your heaving chest. But he does well in reminding you how much of a bastard he is by switching to your other thigh, subjecting you to another round of kisses.

“Keigooo,” you whine pathetically, feeling your aches as your muscles tense from the teasing.

“Hold on, I’ve got more questions. What was your favorite position?”

“What?”

“Come on, you’ve got plenty to choose from,” he licks the sweat that was beginning to coat your skin.

Both your embarrassment and his tongue were making it very difficult to answer. You stammer over your words while his mouth moves inward, but once again, he stops at your mound.

“You really can’t think of one?” He gives you a ridiculously sad face—large puppy eyes and a puckered bottom lip—it would have looked more innocent if he wasn’t so close to your most private area.

You realize that he wasn’t going to take any further action until you gave him an answer. “I…when I’m on my hands and knees…” You swallow despite the dryness of your throat. “…and you’re on top of me…”

“Ah,” he sighs, and you feel his thumbs part your outer lips like a damp pair of curtains. He stares down at the pussy that he has battered more times than either of you can count, and yet it drips for him even now. The feel of a single finger running down your wetness makes your entire body jerk. “You like it when I mount you like a dog?”

“Yes,” you choke.

He blows on your quivering cunt. “What do you like about it so much?”

“I…you…I don’t…”

“Do you just love feeling like an animal too? Love it when a crazed horny guy humps you into the floor?” He finally indulges you with a long lick from your hole to your clit, and the hot muscle already has you moaning. “Is that it?”

“Ah…maybe…” You answer, and he rewards you with another lick. Listening to his questions was becoming a challenge.

“Hmm, would you love it if I fucked you until my bed gives out? You’re a pretty expensive girl to mess around with,” he jokes. He then dives in, sloppily making out with your folds that have been begging for more gentle attention for days.

Your head thrashes against the pillow. His licks and sucks were both pleasurable and soothing against your beaten pussy. You were finally freed from his powerful stare when he closed his eyes and fully concentrated on eating you out. He alternated between sucking loudly on your velvety folds and lapping at your opening, sometimes dipping his tongue inside so that he can feel your walls attempt to grab him.

The building pressure in your belly has become an old friend at this point, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t excited whenever it arrived and begged it to explode and bring you back to that lovely state of euphoria. Hawks’s mouth was moving more fervently as he drank in more of your juices, as if your nectar was intoxicating him. His deep moans rattled your insides while he smacked his wet lips against every inch of your womanhood, giving your swollen clit a smooch before sucking hard.

“Mm…oh god…Keigo, please…”

He growled with your bud still in his mouth, blinding you with the electrifying pleasure that was only enhanced by the sudden intrusion of two fingers in your throbbing cavern. The slow inner massage guided you to the top where stars burst in your vision, each orgasmic throb bringing forth a shameless moan. The stimulated wings fluttered from the overwhelming pleasure surrounding them, Hawks giving light licks and kisses until you were back down to earth.

“Fuck, that was good,” he said breathlessly, as if he was the one that just got sent to heaven. “You felt amazing, so nice and clear.” His wings finally folded behind his back as he straightened himself and wiped his glistening face.

You were ready to drift away into a happy slumber until you saw Hawks move to get off the bed and spotted the very familiar hardness that was bobbing with his movements. “Wait! You’re…” Your eyes dart from his face to his erection.

“Don’t worry about that; fapping works again!” he told you cheerfully before changing to a devious smirk. “What, did you wanna watch or something?”

“No,” you snapped a bit more loudly than intended. “I…want you inside of me.”

He froze.

“You sure?”

“Very.”

He crawled back between your legs—clearly trying not to look too eager—and was already aiming his cock at your opening. Your nod of approval was all he needed to push inside and damn, that was one hell of a face and moan he made.

You reflexively braced yourself for an immediate pounding, but the throbbing length just stayed there, twitching in response to every pulse from your surrounding walls. Hawks appeared absolutely fascinated by the sight of him sheathed inside of you before looking up to your face, eyes filled with a warm lust, not the unfocused kind that you have gotten used to.

He pulled out slowly and pushed back in at the same speed. “Ooooh, fuck, baby. So hot…so tight…” He murmured with a broken groan. The lazy thrusts allowed you to feel every inch of him stretch you, his veins rubbing against you for added texture and stimulation. Your hypersensitive pussy appreciated the easy pace, and even better, it was also working for the hero above you.

His hips gradually sped up overtime, but never into something rough and aggressive. It was more like a grind, his abs rippling with every deep push. His flushed face has gotten dangerously close to yours, allowing you to watch the pulsating pupils of his avian eyes.

The only time he ‘kissed’ you was on the first day, though a more appropriate description would be that he simply smashed his mouth against yours. Now, as you stared at his parted lips while hot breaths blew onto your face, you had a strong desire to finally give him a proper one.

Good thing Hawks was a damn mind reader, because he brought his lips down to yours right after you finished the thought. They were soft, softer than you expected from a guy that flew at high speeds all day. Then again, he was also a sex symbol that needed to take care of himself.

His mouth was clearly more skilled than yours, so you let him take the lead, lips molding perfectly against yours with playful licks. The added intimacy sped up his hips and raised his volume, his entire mouth engulfing yours as he moaned into you. Your tongue found his and engaged in a frantic dance. He’s tensing up; you give him some encouragement by wrapping your arms and legs around his sweaty form, giving the base of his wings a few rubs. Your mouths part to catch your breaths, a strand of saliva linking your tongues together

“Cum inside me, Keigo.”

“Oh fuck.” Your words have him pumping erratically into you, but you’ve dealt with worse. He buries his head into the crook of your neck, whimpering at your legs that keep him locked in place and urging him to release his creamy essence as deep inside you as possible.

His trembles are powerful, but even better were the cracked whines vibrating against your neck as he emptied himself into your womb. You never get tired of watching his wings lifelessly drop whenever he wears himself out. You cradle his spent body—it’s all so similar to the first time he took you, except this time he moves just a little to the side to relieve you of some of his weight. He doesn’t move you for another round, he just relaxes into your cuddles.

“Thanks,” he says softly, already close to dozing off.

You’re not sure what exactly he’s thanking you for, but it makes you smile anyway. “You’re welcome.”

A wing stretches over you as a blanket, the warm soft feathers doing well to pull you into dreamland as well. Hawks’s heavy breaths tell you that he was already out.

You close your eyes. It looks like you both managed to survive the worst rut of Hawks’s life. This sure as hell wasn’t what you signed up for, but looking back, it wasn’t that bad. Except for the crutch. The crutch never happened.

As sleep claimed you, you wondered what the future had in store for you and the winged hero.

—————

Monday

“I just got fired.”

Hawks flinched at the news, scratching at his back awkwardly. “Aww man, that’s…oof, what a shocker.”

For some reason, his surprise didn’t sound very real. But you were way too upset at the moment to question it further. “Well, I guess it’s more like a demotion. They’re still allowing me into a position I have more experience in. It’s probably back to desk work for me,” You sighed, pacing back and forth across the office in a desperate attempt to expel some of your anger. “But I can’t believe this. I can’t believe that he basically kept me around to be your fucking fleshlight, and then threw me away after you were satisfied!”

Hawks shrugged with an apologetic look. “It really sucks, babe. You can’t forget: the real studs are the Commission. No one fucks more people than them. A lot of us are a one-time use to those guys. I’m just lucky enough to have a longer expiration date than most. Or unlucky. I dunno.”

You didn’t either, honestly. Hawks deserved better. “They’re such assholes, yet here I am ready to keep working for them. I so badly want to say ‘fuck you’ and leave, but…” You trailed off.

Hawks finished your sentence with a smirk. “They pay too well?”

Your head lowers in shame. “Yeah.”

A wing pats you on the back as he laughs. “I’m not judging, angel. That’s probably what keeps most of the guys around.” He steps closer to you, gently taking your chin to tilt your head back up. “I’m gonna miss you though. Whoever they send to watch my ass next isn’t going to be half as fun as you.”

The comment warms you. You take his hand and pull it further up to your face, letting him cup your cheek. “Thanks, but I was pretty bad at the job. They would have kicked me down sooner or later.”

He came in closer. “True, you sucked. But you’re the first handler I got to know so well. Inside and outside.” His chuckle is hot against you before he locks his lips to yours. The kiss becomes more heated than expected—he’s tugging at your lip and thrusting his tongue in and out of your mouth in a way that makes your thighs press together. You tear yourself away from his face, breathless.

“Hawks…?”

His tongue slowly runs over his upper lip. Goddamn. “Sorry, little hen. I was just hoping you’d like a nice goodbye gift. I can give you more, if you want.”

You’re so pissed off at yourself for throbbing in response to his offer.

He pulls you back in and takes hold of the waistband of your pants. “How about it? Wanna get to know my new desk a little better?”

The sounds resonating from the office that morning scarred Springer.

[theepisceswriter]

Can you do a hot scene with Erwin and Zeke x f!reader with daddy kink, both of the men have a *thing* for her bc she’s such a smarty brat/ a tease. They should’ve be pissed at her but she’s way too playful🤑🤫 I leave the rest to your imagination, love your writing <33 anything you wanna add or change feel free to do it 🤍🥺

Bestie....you fr did something with this request right here. Ily for this and I’m so glad you enjoy my writing, I hope you enjoy this little Drabble!

Synopsis: Set in a modern AU, professor!Erwin and his teacher assistant!Zeke both have the hots for one of their students and decide to invite her over for dinner one night so they can all release their shared tension.

TW: Mature things obviously, fembodied!reader (she/her pronouns), face fucking, oral (fem recieving), degradation, daddy kink, teacher/student, threesome, 18+, MINORS DNI! (these are for the drabble underneath the read more)

Word Count: Google docs was trippin so I wasn’t able to get the word count, but just know it’s a 2k+ mini drabble underneath the readmore 

Headcanons

Let me set the scene for you; Erwin is a professor at your college, teaching a small world history evening class and Zeke is his TA basically, acting as a teacher himself sometimes but mostly doing things like helping grade papers, helping students with their work, or working as Erwin’s fulltime assistant. Needless to say, you interact with the two of them on a daily basis quite a lot and it’s no secret to the other students that you’re most definitely their favorite, taking most of their attention away from everyone else. But they could care less, they’re not as passionate about the class or as eager to learn like you; another factor that drew Erwin and Zeke to you. 

You’re a confident, strong book-savvy student who’s always ready to debate and bicker someone, snarky remarks leaving your mouth in an instant, and Zeke and Erwin always end up being the victim of those. Bickers and debates over information lasting the whole class session almost, either you winning and leaving them red in the face or them winning with a smug expression on their features and you storming out the classroom in annoyance. You all meet each other’s energy so well that you can’t help but clash from time to time, but the three of you do get along pretty well. Many times you’ve found yourself lingering after class to talk with them about everything and nothing like you’re all just good friends catching up. Your bond is definitely an interesting one.

It’s after one of these routine after-class talks that they invite you over formally for once, a dinner at Zeke’s house with Erwin and how could you possibly say no to that? A chance to be alone with your hot history teacher and his sexy teacher assistant.

You didn’t expect to be this nervous as you walked down the corridor leading to Zeke’s apartment yet here you were, fingers fidgeting with the rings on your fingers and your toes awkwardly rubbing against each other the closer you got. All the confidence that made your hips swing from left to right as you entered the classroom like you owned the whole school, the usual overtly confident y/n that they were used to was dwindling down into a nervous wreck. But you couldn’t let them see that, let them know the effect that they had on you, so you swallowed those anxious feelings as if they would be digested by your stomach and let a look of smugness take over your features as you made your way up to the door. Your hand ghosted over the cold wood, curling your fingers into a fist ready to knock but before you could even make contact with the door it was swinging open, greeting you with the sight of a smirking Zeke. He wore slacks with a beige plaid pattern going over them, a creme-colored shirt to match the brown of his pants, and an elongated dark brown coat that brought out the lightness of his round glasses perfectly. 

“You look very nice tonight,” You complimented him for once as you made your way inside the apartment, “Finally you don’t look like a caveman for once.” The joke didn’t go over his head at all, him choosing only to acknowledge it with a dry chuckle. “Good evening to you too Ms. /l/n, You look mighty fine yourself.”

It was then that your confidence came rushing back to you as you remembered the outfit that adorned your body. It was a simple silky champagne pink bodycon dress with a corset-like top, but on you, it fit like a supermodel. The dress hugging every curve and dip on your body and showing off a little more cleavage than expected, your nipples even poking out through the thin fabric, but you couldn’t have picked out an outfit more perfect for this night. The constant glances Zeke took unremorsefully at where the dress stopped at the high of your thighs let you know that it was a great choice. Lips curling up into a smile as you thanked him. 

 “Where’s Professor Smith?”

“Just over here in the kitchen, follow me.”

Is this where being a teacher assistant got Zeke? You couldn’t help but admire the decor and set up of his home as he led you through the hallway and living room to the kitchen where Erwin was standing with his back faced to the two of you, broad shoulders contracting and going back to their original form with every shake of the pan in front of him. He was cooking? That’s something you definitely didn’t expect to see, thinking they’d opt-out for takeout for the night, but it just made the night feel more genuine than it already was.

“I thought I had heard you come in, y/n.” Erwin’s rich and smooth voice infiltrated your ears bringing you out of your thoughts. The same smile on your lips from when you thanked Zeke for his compliment earlier. “And please, leave Professor Smith for school. Call me Erwin.” 

“Erwin.” You repeated with a nod, butterflies erupting in your stomach and your cheeks warming up from the wink that followed after his words. “I’m surprised to see you cooking. I was sure you two would have takeout ready on the table when I came. Probably something cheap too like Chili’s.’ You jabbed at them, taking your place at the table while Zeke situated himself against the arch of the opening of the kitchen. Most people would’ve been offended by such a remark, hurt even, but they were so used to your snarkiness that all they could do was chuckle in return.

“Chili’s? No, Mcdonald’s would’ve been more fitting for you.” Zeke messed with you back, warranting your tongue to stick out at him in a childish manner.

“Calm down children,” Erwin joins in on the teasing as he makes his way to the table with three steaks and bowls filled with sides in his other arm, Zeke going over to help him. Dinner wasn’t too eventful, but it was enjoyable. Most of the time wasted away with the three of you talking about various topics the conversation swayed towards like how you usually did. 

The three of you had decided to relocate to the living room after finishing dinner, now washing it down with a glass of wine as you three sat down silently enjoying each other’s company. But silence wasn’t your forte, so it didn’t take long at all for you to move from your position between them on the couch. Both of their eyebrows raised in confusion as they watched you search around the small area looking for whatever it was you were looking for, not knowing what to expect since you were, well, you after all. 

“Found it!” You announced in a sing-song voice as you shimmied your way over the vintage phonograph vinyl player sitting in the middle of Zeke’s living room that must’ve cost him a fortune. And if it didn’t then the extensive rack of vinyl records sitting next to it definitely did. You squatted down so you were face to face with the rack and if you weren’t facing the other direction you would’ve saw the way both of their eyes immediately traveled down to your ass in the squatting position you were in before blue eyes met brown ones, a silent nod signifying confirmation of some sort between the two. 

Any genre or artist you could think of occupied the shelves, your finger skimming over each and every one until you found one that you craved to hear. Soon the soft melodies of the instruments on the smooth jazz record infiltrated the living room, your body contorting and twisting in a sensual way with each beat that hit your ears. The closing of your eyes really showing how into it you were, arms wrapping around your own body like the two men weren’t watching from not too far away as you put on a show like you were in the comfort of your own room. What a tease, the two men thought to themselves, shifting and manspreading to try and soothe the uncomfortable ache between your legs that you were causing. You knew exactly what you were doing because this wasn’t the first time at all that you had done it. Plenty of times you showed up to class with a shirt on that revealed just a little too much or a skirt that practically put your whole lower body on display, legs spreading purposefully whenever you saw one of their eyes travel to the underside of your opened desk. You did everything in your power to make them succumb to their--no, your desires but it wasn’t until now that they let themselves be selfish.

Zeke was the first one to move from his position on the couch to make his way over to you, calloused hands grabbing at your sides and pulling you closer to his torso as he began to sway along with you, hands moving from your hips and letting them explore the surrounding skin before cheekily slapping your ass and earning a small yelp out of you. Erwin simply watched from the couch, for the time being, still sipping on his wine waiting on his opportunity to slip himself in. 

“I figured this would happen eventually,” Zeke finally spoke up, “I just imagined something a lot less sensual; you bent over the desk in the classroom or something.” 

Before you could counter his words with a sassy remark he moved his lips against yours, gently letting them ghost over yours for a second or two and even going as far as teasing you by rubbing them against yours before he finally indulged you with a kiss. The taste of wine and savoriness from dinner still lingering on both of your tongues as you deepened the kiss. Swirling your tongue around in a way that had precum dripping from the tip of his cock as he thought about how good it might feel if it was there instead, slurping the opaque liquid up. As much as you wanted to keep kissing him and let your tongues explore each other he decided that it was time to pull away, trailing kisses from the corner of your mouth to your neck where he gently let his teeth graze over the sensitive flesh, warranting a gentle moan from you.

It was like music to his ears and immediately he decided that he wanted to pull more from your plush lips, letting his kisses trail farther down until his lips were over one of your nipples protruding from the silk fabric, swirling his tongue around the sensitive nub at a painstakingly slow pace that made you want to shove him away from you completely for denying you pleasure.

“No bra on? What a lewd thing to do, but I wouldn’t expect anything like from someone like you.” He murmured against the fabric.

“Someone like me? What’s that supposed to mean?” You questioned, still a bite to your tone like earlier.

“A slut.” Erwin answered for him and it wasn’t until now that you noticed his presence from behind you, chiseled chest pressed up against your back and his breath fanning across your neck distracting you from the hand he brought up to rest at the nape at it. His other hand going down to scrunch your dress up around your waist. Revealing your lacy underwear to their doting eyes and especially to Zeke who was now dropping down to his knees in front of you. “She’s soaking fucking wet. Her panties are dripping with wetness.” 

“You think we didn’t notice all your advances? All the times you traded your integrity just to get our attention like the bad girl you are, huh?” Erwin’s hand moved from the nape of your neck to the front of it, gently squeezing it with his hand and forcing you to look up at him. A chastising look on his features as he stared down at you, making you feel so little and small compared to his towering structure.

You had no words to respond to him with, too caught up in a daze in your head thinking that this couldn’t be true, that this was a dream you were going to wake up from in a couple of minutes. But it was the warmth of Zeke’s tongue prodding at your clit that brought you back to your senses, eyes widening in shock as you looked up at your professor. This was really happening.

“Hm, looks like the brat doesn’t have anything else to say.”

“I think I like her better like this anyway.” The blonde between your legs mumbles, sending a vibrational tingle up your spine and leaving your legs wobbling. He was so messy with it, tongue devouring you like you were the 2nd course on the menu tonight. You diverted your eyes down to him for a second, his staring right back up at you as he feverously worked his tongue against you. Your juices mixed with his saliva already wetting your thighs up along with his beard.

“Oh god, that f-feels so good.” You let out in a choked moan, knees daring to buckle on you and make you fall to the floor, but Erwin’s death grip around your torso stopped such from happening. Which you were also grateful, but that also meant you weren’t able to buck your hips up into Zeke’s face or swivel them the way you wanted to; taking away any sense of control you thought you had. It wasn’t too long after that you were releasing all over his beard, wetting it up as your insides clenched around nothing, desperately wanting one of their cocks to stuff you up and satisfy that craving. 

Even after your orgasm, he didn’t stop. The pace of his tongue showed no sign of stopping and just to add to the sweet torture you felt two slender fingers entering your hole, a loud moan emitting from your lips in response. “I can’t take it. Too much.” You let out in a ragged breath.

“Come on, sweetheart. You can give us one more. You can take it. You don’t have any choice matter of fact, you’re going to give us as many as we want from you. Maybe if you weren’t so bratty things would be different.” Mouth too occupied on you, all Zeke could do was hum against you in agreeance. 

“Erwin--” 

“Aht, it’s daddy or professor to you from here on out.” Oh

“Daddy,” You quickly corrected yourself with a whine, “I can’t take it anymore. M’too sensitive. I need more. I w-want you inside of me.” Luckily for you, Zeke’s tongue was getting tired from being on you and he was quick to get off of his knees at your request to Erwin. “Look at the begging slut now. You weren’t like that when you first came. Guess you really are just all bark and no bite.” He teased you, fingers going to your nipples and pinching at them. You couldn’t even reply if you wanted to because his lips were on you like earlier forcing you to taste yourself on your tongue. And to your surprise Erwin joined in as well, leaning over from behind you and inserting himself to make a 3-way kiss that had all your tongues entangled with one another’s; everyone getting a taste of you.

“Zeke go sit on the couch and let y/n return the favor.” The older man spoke up after pulling away. Everyone moving away from such close proximity of each other so you could all go to your positions over on the couch. By the time you turned around to head in that direction Zeke was already sitting on the couch with his cock free and sprung up against his stomach, twitching in your direction as he awaited your arrival. Erwin on the other hand was nowhere to be found, completely gone from your view, but you didn’t let that stop you from making your way over to the bearded mand; dropping on your knees as soon as you were in front of him. 

Your hands move to engulf his thick cock with your hands, jerking it a few times and spreading around the pre-cum that cumulated on his tip before you began to lower your head. You were getting ready to bring his tip past your lips when the feeling of two broad hands gripping the crevice between your stomach and hips stopped you abruptly, presumably Erwin behind you getting ready to do something. You went to look behind you to confirm you suspicion only to be stopped by Zeke’s hand roughly grabbing at your chin forcing you to look up at him again. 

“Nobody told you to stop or look behind you. Get back to work.” It was pathetic how much they were able to break you down in such a small amount of time because without a second thought you did exactly what he told you to do, slipping his cock past your lips and gently sucking on it while simultaneously running your tongue over the flushed tip. “And here I was thinking your mouth was only good for arguing.” He groaned out, earning a chuckle from the other man behind you. 

Without the slightest bit of warning, Erwin is sliding his cock into you from behind, the mixture of Zeke’s saliva and your cum acting as a natural lubricant; allowing him to slip in and out of you as he pleased at a pace that made it so you were gagging on cock without hardly moving your head. Your hips also smacking against your professor’s without even moving them. It was like you were their personal sex toy and no longer one of their students, but this wasn’t even the beginning of it. They were nowhere near done with you. 

[asexualone]

(pls take the time to read)

Signs I should have known I was aro: Disney edition

I think this topic has been stressed a lot already. But here is my take, anyway.

Of course, romantic love had been, is and will always be one of the main themes in kids' movies. Why, I can never fully understand. I'll explain below how I like other themes more.

Some time ago, I did a post on the kiss/hug scenes in Rapunzel which depicts how much more I value acts of showing love that don't include kissing.

Not only those two. I have a history of hating Disney on-screen smooches. As a kid, I thought, "Well, maybe, I don't like seeing these characters kiss because it's a grownup thing."

Could you blame me? When my parents were in the room and a kissing scene appeared on the screen, they changed the channel. So my toddler brain concluded that the reason I didn't like watching kisses was because I wasn't of age to like it. Or something.

At the time, I had no idea that I was hand-picking my favorite movies by the level of romance they had in. Or lack thereof. And I was a very judgemental kid. Let's go through my original thoughts on some Disney classics.

Snow White — No. Just no. She's a child, fourteen. Marrying an older guy she doesn't even know. After he kisses her corpse. NO.

Cinderella — The age difference is a little better, I guess. So is the age of consent. But they only talked one (1) night and he relied on that slipper to find her instead of asking to meet all women and see for himself. Fairytale logic I guess. I didn't like how she called it love immediately and kissed the prince at least once that same night. Or how they got married immediately.

The Sleeping Beauty — Must I even explain? Aurora didn't even know Philip that much, had only met him once (if you exclude the "dreams"). And yet, he's her true love, the only one who can revive her corpse. Ridiculous. And yes, kissing a comatose body, ew. Also, the arranged marriage trope pisses me off, royalty or not. Aurora was engaged as a newborn baby, come on.

Mulan — Cinematic gold. I didn't know it back then, but the fact that romantic love is such a pushed-aside aspect in this movie gives me life. The songs give me life. Especially when the trio dresses as concubines and "Be a Man" plays in the background. An absolute gem, lmao. The sequel however ruined the story somewhat for me, too much lovey-dovey stuff. I like Mulan more when she's fighting than when she's acting all sappy towards Shang, sorry not sorry.

Peter Pan — Loved it, still do. But I did dislike the mermaids, the image of fangirls who are petty towards other girls. And Pan's brief "relationship" with Tiger Lily was nauseating to me. I couldn't explain it but when Pan blushed at her nose-nuzzling thing, I always pulled a face.

The Princess and the Frog — In my opinion, (remember, always my opinion): Tiana, this hard-working girl who doesn't belong to anyone, was lost to love. Well, not lost. But falling for Naveen in the course of three days? Unrealistic and kinda unnecessary. Sweet, but still. I adored the "relationship" between Ray and Evangeline more. Either way, it's a movie that I enjoyed when love wasn't that prominent on screen.

Aladdin — I love this movie because of the Genie. The relationship between Jasmine and Aladdin is meh. She forgot his face and didn't recognize him until later. Their coming together is a lot like that trope "first guy who treats her right sets the expectations and wins her heart". Usually that's a thing, not only in Disney movies but media in general. The female lead settles for the first guy that treats her right because the bar is that low. A good movie, all in all. Love how Jasmine stands up for herself at least. Not a lot of princesses fight against the objectification of women.

Pocahontas — I used to hate this movie. I didn't sit right with me: the racism in it, the manipulation, the murders. And the romance, yes. Pocahontas fell for the strange man who tickled her curiosity in the span of two days. I also hated how her father just sold her to marry Kocoum like that. I know it's tradition. Heck, that's a tradition that still goes on in my country. Maybe that's why I didn't like seeing it on screen. And Pocahontas doesn't even end up with John Smith. The second movie definitely ruined the story. So yes, she's the first princess who fell for a man in three days, TWICE. Needless to say, only the songs kept me from blacklisting the movie entirely.

The Little Mermaid — I actually loved this movie for some reason. I can't explain why, maybe it was my obsession with mermaids. Yeah, that was probably it. But I was pissed when Ariel exchanged her tail for legs. Not to mention human periods and overall, all the bad in the world, for a man she'd only seen once. As I grew up I realized just how f*cked up that story was: Ariel giving her entire lifestyle, family and identity up for a guy she hadn't even spoken to. I don't know why I loved that movie, alright? Hell I still do a little. The sequel too. Say what you want.

Brave — (I know this is technically Pixar, shut up) Much like the paradox with Ariel, I didn't like this movie. I can't explain it. Maybe because Merida wasn't the typical Disney princess I had been used to seeing. Now though, I ADORE that story. No, it's not because Merida knows archery... Okay, yes maybe a little. I love the aro-arrow word play, alright? Anyway, the way Merida fights against being shipped to a husband like the "tradition" I aforementioned asks her to, has always had my heart, even when I didn't like the movie. The focus on the mother-daughter relationship is special, I love it. Stellar movie.

Tangled — One of my favorite Disney movies, my favorite princess. But her relationship with Eugene.... Well. Again, three days. That's all it takes to fall in love. Classic of Disney. Not only that, but Eugene is literally the first man person Raps has ever since, besides Gothel. The bar is nonexistent for her, she would have fallen for anyone. He lied to her and she still... Well, I won't stress that any longer. Their relationship in the end is sweet, one of the few cases where we are actually shown that they would risk their lives to save each other. Respect that. Mostly, I love her magical hair and Pascal. And the guys of Snuggly Duckling.

Moana — EPIC MOVIE. The story, the culture, the character growth, the plot twist, everything! Loved it at first sight, at second and forever. Even more when I became aware that there's no romance in it. I don't think I need to say more.

Frozen — My opinions on this movie have always been changing, accompanied by mixed feelings. So the relationship between sisters was cute, but Lilo and Stitch made that more realistic. Anna's relationship with Hans, ugh. I think that for a long time I used the fact that he was the antagonist to justify my absolute hate for the way Anna "fell" for him in one evening. Again, Anna sweetheart. This is the first man you've met. The bar is nonexistent for you too. God bless Elsa for forbidding her to marry Hans. And while it's cute to think Elsa as a lesbian, she has aromantic vibes. Sorry not sorry, but she's also a God by the end of Frozen 2. Gods are beyond attraction, I said what I said.

Raya and the Last Dragon — Loved it, still do. Say what you will about "dragon Elsa". Sisu is her own character, and I adore her. And yes, I love the lack of romance in the movie. Make no mistake, I shipped Raya and Namaari from the first moment they smiled at each other. I swear on my name that I paused the movie and screamed, GAYYYY, at the top of my lungs. Luckily, I was home alone. If only Disney directors would do the right fcking thing and give me a queer main couple!! I swear I wouldn't mind the lovey-dovey romance one bit.

Of course, I've left dozens of movies out. This post is already way longer than I wanted it to be. But I think that was enough to make a point.

While I'm not romance-repulsed, seeing animated kisses (and unnecessary relationships) on screen makes me uncomfortable. As a child and as a grownup. It just doesn't sit right with me. Not to mention all these princesses who identify with their princes and specifically their relationships with said princes when they're perfect on their. Wreck it Ralph 2 made them a favor, I think, by making them work together and showing their strengths. Another movie I love.

Friendship just makes an overall better theme to apply to kids shows, my opinion. Family, work, self-discovery, mental health, happiness. These are all better themes to portray in media dedicated for children. Which is, again, my opinion.

And yes, Disney has been getting better. They've fixed the age difference and the age of consent. The female characters no longer depend on the male ones, at least not as often. They understand the assignment, alright. There are still many questionable things about Disney's reputation though, things we all choose to overlook for the sake of the good movies. But who knows? They might change. Hopefully soon we'll also have an obviously queer couple in a movie. Hope dies last.