#All natural exfoliating face wash

[vlskincare]

All natural exfoliating face wash

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[bladeofthestars]

nah, but growing up with acne was wild y'all

at age 13 i had other 13-year-olds saying shit to me like "you don't seem to really care as much about your appearance as much as other girls" because i wasn't already using concealer and "why don't you just use proactiv??"

I DID. I WAS! it didn't do fucking ANYTHING for my skin. and now, come to find out, it probably cost my poor mom a bunch of money AND exposed me to carcinogens.

13 is that age where everyone has a mostly adult lexicon but you're still an idiot with low critical thinking skills. you see a person's acne disappear after using proactiv in a commercial? pff, well it must be true and you must just not be doing it right.

[colebabey888]

A few DIY beauty secrets I began doing to elevate my "natural" look | IT GIRL DIARIES

something that I noticed over the years, when looking to enhance your natural beauty, there are 4 main points that build the first impression, hair, eyes, brows and lips..

I have naturally bushy brows that I used to manage with eyebrow gel, but it would start flaking during the day, which gave me the ickk. So, I began laminating them with a kid-friendly relaxer every two weeks (my eyebrows grow pretty fast, which is why I do it so often and i don't get them professionally done because i don't trust people with my brows lol).

I always tweeze my eyebrows instead of waxing them; they seem to grow back slower that way + it's easier to do, just grab a tweezer along with a pocket mirror and you can do it anywhere if you see a hair out of place. ( don't over do it though, i made this mistake and it went horribly, just keep them neat )

Get your lashes laminated !!! Natural lashes are so classy and I don't have to worry about putting on mascara or falsies. This I'd get done professionally though lmao, I would do this myself but I'm way to scared to be messing with anything chemically so close to my eyes, so it isn't necessarily a diy but still, get it done!

ALWAYS make sure your hair, eyes (lashes) and eyebrows are done! You don't have to have a silk press, falsies and freshly waxed brows 24/7 but make sure they're neat. These are the key features that attracts people's attention when youre speaking to them

I have tight 4b type hair, and I used to have to lay my edges with gel or edge control because of how fluffy they'd get when I wore my curls out, but it was super damaging from constantly pulling on them and having them laid down. So, I started relaxing my edges every 3-6 months. Now, all I use is a bit of hairspray to keep them tamed, and now it doesn't puff up even during workouts and it lasts my whole silk press. Yes, my curls are still thriving.

I do weekly deep conditioning, monthly hot oil treatments, routine trims, and always use a heat protectant and frizz control when doing silk presses to stretch them out and minimize heat application. ( my hair has grown so much, leave your hair alone and only feed it when it's hungry! )

you'll hear everyone talking about silk bonnets, but as someone who hates the feeling of having anything on their head or in their face, I always took it off unknowingly throughout the night and it defeated the purpose, so i got silk pillow cases instead, game changer! i don't wrap my hair as often anymore and i don't experience frizz anymore.

I apply a face mask every week depending on what my skin is lacking, whether it’s moisture or something else. It just keeps my face looking fresh and plump in between professional monthly facials.

I use a lip tint every third day. It makes makeup application easier, and it doesn’t wear off throughout the day so i don't have to re-apply lipstick continuously. It also gives my lips a bit more colour so now I just leave the house with a pretty gloss or plain lip balm.

I take zinc supplements religiously!

Vitamin C everyday, all day. Lemon wedge in my greentea for breakfast, orange for a lunchtime snack and a naartjie for a late night movie. My skin is glowinggg!

hair removal cream! this is so slept on, i no longer shave or wax, both of them have caused ingrowns for me and accentuate my strawberry legs. i use hair removal cream now and i don't think I'll ever go back! i use it probably every week or so depending on how much growth i have, it's so easy and mess free. apply it before you get in the shower and use an exfoliating glove to slide it off gently and continue with your normal wash routine. always apply tissue oil and moisturizer after! baby soft skin all day, everyday!

It's not much, but these small changes have completely transformed my overall look. i do them specifically for those actual no makeup days where i want to give my skin a break from makeup or where im working out but still want to look prettyyy and done up..it's like a wash and go except it's for your face lmao, anyways

mwah! xoxo, colebabey8.88

www.investingforbeginners/gumroad.com

---

[starblushh]

“What I've learned from women who are totally killing it”

Part 2

(part 1)

☁️ The secret to be the luckiest person in the room is to always think in your favour, no matter the circumstance is.

☁️ A daily routine actually makes your day easier. But the key is to have one which resonates with you.

☁️ Stop blindly following routines you see on the internet; they don't even resonate with you. Ex: Maybe you're not a gym person, but you're half heartedly going to the gym just bc of xyz routine. Instead, try to find what you actually like, such as yoga or exercises.

☁️ Never apologize for things which gives you joy and is literally hurting nobody. Trust me honey you don't wanna be 70 and live your life regretting things you could have loved and enjoyed but didn't. So go stream your ‘not so cool’ artist and enjoy that ‘boring’ hobby.

☁️ The happiness you're searching outside is within you. You will never ‘arrive’ to happiness, it's in the small things you do.

☁️ Music or the songs you listen to can actually affect how you feel all day ! When I started listening to songs with affirmations, I found myself humming those songs again and again. Similarly, when I listened to sad songs I found the same thing. Your subconscious believes what it's hearing, so be mindful of the music you listen to.

☁️ Honey, you're punishing your body if you're only using water and soap/body wash while bathing. Your body deserves to be properly cleaned and these aren't enough to remove the dead skin cells. All you need to do is use an exfoliating tool such as a washcloth, body sponge, loofah, etc. If you don't have access to these right now, then even a simple cotton napkin will work.

☁️ If you're religious and want to have stronger connection with God then the best way you can do it is by reading your religious scriptures. Whether it's the Gita, Bible or Quran, it will provide you with more knowledge than anyone else can.

☁️ “The fears we don't face become our limits” I spent a whole minute reading this quote again and again. One of the most moving quotes I've came across for sure. (I can make a whole post with all my fav quotes too!)

☁️ ‘Nature is women's best friend.’ Take some time out of your day to spend time in nature. Feeling anxious? Take a walk in the garden. Feeling like the world is cruel and everyone is against you? Go hug a tree. Trust me sweetheart, nature has the solutions to all your problems.

[innerfare]

Random Sabo Headcanons

Summary: A collection of random Sabo headcanons

Genre: Fluff

CW: None // SFW

———

Never really gave up on his dream of writing a book about his adventures. He keeps a journal and wants to assemble it all into a manuscript, but he has a lot of self doubt regarding his abilities as a writer. A lot of his journal entries are reflecting on the inequality, injustice, and even outright war crimes he has witnessed the World Government commit. When he publishes it, it will 100% be banned by the Government. Also wants to publish some comics based on his childhood with Luffy and Ace, actually has a knack for it. 

Has a few habits from his aristocratic upbringing that not even his time in the woods with Ace and Luffy broke him of. He holds his teacup and eating utensils a certain way, he makes at least some effort to adhere to dress codes, etcetera. Most of these habits are in regards to women, whom he treats with the utmost respect; very chivalrous. 

That being said, he definitely keeps a switchblade in his boot. He’s a very dirty fighter, won’t hesitate to pull it. 

Also cheats at monopoly. And nobody ever suspects him because he benefits from pretty privilege.

Has argued with Koala until his voice is hoarse that dragon claw is way better than fishman karate. Could also write an entire book on the merits of fighting with a lead pipe over any sort of fancy sword or spear. Also used to talk serious smack about devil fruit users before he ate his fruit, expects every devil fruit user in the Revolutionary Army to disregard his previous taunts after the fact.

Secretly such a cuddle bug, craves the affection he never received in his childhood. Except it’s not really a secret because he once fell asleep in a meeting and woke up to everyone laughing at him because he snuggled into Dragon’s side.

A pretty good cook, but weirdly enough, can only make a meal in the wilderness. If it’s over a campfire, he’s a chef, but he always causes some sort of accident when he tries to recreate these dishes in an actual kitchen. Credit a childhood in the woods for this one.

Can be a little clumsy, can’t really be trusted around breakable valuables. Makes it all the more insane how agile he is during a fight.

His scars aren’t just on his face. He has them on his body and hands, too, even down to his ankles, and he doesn’t actually like showing them off (thus the reason he’s basically the only character in this universe who is fully clothed) because they symbolize his traumatic past/leaving Ace and Luffy, which feeds into him blaming himself for Ace’s death. Actually spent a fortune on scar creams in an effort to make the scars fade but none of them worked. Is trying to make peace with that part of his appearance.

Has a skincare routine. Nothing fancy, but he exfoliates and applies moisturizer to his face, and he has a special hand cream. Also always has chapstick on, and he carries it around with him. Has multiple extras scattered around. It has a slight pink tint to it that he pretends not to notice. He makes kissy lips at Koala if she tries to tease him about it. Low key the sort of guy to go through your purse in search of hand cream or concealer.

Speaking of, it’s pretty much impossible to tease him/get under his skin. He takes everything in stride, hardly ever gets pouty. He’s also the only person in the Revolutionary Army who is brave enough to tease Dragon and even argue with him, which is one of the reasons he became Dragon’s second in command. 

Doesn’t do anything special to his hair. It falls like that naturally. Could literally wash his hair with a bar of soap and it still dries as though he had it blown out by a professional.

He doesn’t know how to read palms, but he pretends he does to flirt with people. He’ll make things up about the lines in their palms, using it as an excuse to initiate skin to skin contact. He’s a shameless flirt. Members of the Revolutionary Army often joke about their Chief of Staff being a honeypot. Some Army communications about the matter were even intercepted, and the World Government, not knowing the RA was joking around, actually has it in their file on the Chief of Staff that he will use seduction to get what he wants. When an RA spy find this out and fed it back to the Army, the entire base keeled over in laughter, Sabo included.

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Rat Bastard - Part 8

Pairing: You x Kyungsoo 

Rating: M (Mature)

Word Count: 10k

Warnings: There were too many beds, Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Idiots to Lovers, Giggles, Alcohol Consumption, Some Angst

Tag: @ilovemyapopbaby

Links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

There was something so weirdly liberating about showering naked. I know, I know, that’s how people do it, but listen, taking a shower, a genuine one, a real one with plenty of soap and shampoo and a razor and some gentle exfoliating and then with nicely scented lotion spread all over your skin -- all without the worry of someone walking in on you? You felt kind of as if you had died and gone to heaven. This heaven had warm water and it cascaded down your spine and washed away nearly every bit of tension you had felt in your body only moments before. Nearly.

It wasn’t as if the possibility of him walking in here and witnessing you in the shower was entirely gone, but you knew he wouldn’t. You knew, deep down inside where you knew all of the facts about all of the things you knew, you knew that he absolutely would not dare. He had made some silly rule with himself about not having sex without being in a committed relationship and unless he was about to walk into this bathroom and have his way with you, which he wasn’t, then you knew you were unequivocally, entirely, completely alone in here to do whatever it was you needed to do. 

And you had to, that man had gotten you so worked up you couldn’t even lather your skin up without feeling the need for some sort of a release -- you felt the need deep down inside of your abdomen, deep inside of your veins, deep inside of your bones. You couldn’t even remember a time when another human being had left you in such a state. 

The release you sought came to you too quickly. You longed for the clarity of mind that would follow but even after, even actual minutes after, you could still feel that unimaginable longing whenever you remembered the way he kissed you. 

Again and again, his face slipped into your mind. His lips, his tongue, his teeth, and the things he did to you with them. His chin resting just over your belly button, his nose that nuzzled into you, the long and deep inhales he took of you, the hot breaths that flooded, and his eyes, his fucking eyes, his eyes that looked at you but felt like they did so much more than just look; his eyes that took the air straight from your lungs, his eyes that inundated and flooded, destroyed and rebirthed. You felt absolutely insane. He hadn’t even fucked you and you felt absolutely insane. 

The reflection of yourself in the aged, clouded-over mirror had you looking positively glowing. You looked radiant all clean and smooth and naked and the flush you saw in your skin, particularly the natural rose color in your face had you giggling like a mad-woman all by your lonesome. 

He would be cooking dinner for you. Would he be starting it already? You absentmindedly wondered about the timing of it all. You had no idea what he would be making; you weren’t even sure if you’d really be able to taste anything as distracted as your mind felt. But you were going to eat it all because he was making it for you.

Him. He. That soft and kind, sort of, that charming and funny, kind of, the gentle and not at all supercritical or hypersensitive, the itty bitty tiny bit of a rat, even less of a bastard, your sweetest, most infuriatingly competitive, probably a work-a-holic, very likely sarcastic to a fault, the conservative and traditional man who -- maybe, hopefully, God you were praying right now, a man who believed in equality for both sexes and even maybe, Dear Baby Jesus please let him also believe in a woman’s right to make decisions for her own body -- Oh God you had to stop --

Him. Kyungsoo. Doh Kyungsoo -- your Darling? Ehh. Your Pookie maybe? Your sweet baboo? Little cinnamon roll baby wrapped up tight in mama’s swaddling cloth, Jesus Christ. Maybe not that far. Maybe it wasn’t an orgasm that you needed but a tranquilizer. 

Your…something. Yours? Well, he was something. You knew that for a fact, at least. 

That man was certainly something. The jury was still out on literally all of the rest of it.

So you were clean and you felt pretty. You had slipped on the plainest underwear and bra you happened to bring along with you. It wasn’t as if that man would be seeing any of it, and you weren’t doing it in the way that one would wash their car knowing it would increase the chances of rain that day. You were certain in the way he had resisted the sex with you in the most ironclad of ways, despite his body being ready, despite your body being ready and willing, this man was not going to see your underwear. You were also not going to pressure him into anything either. You put on the comfy set. They were for you only. 

Your dinner wear was another story. This was your first real date with Kyungsoo. You should look the part.

You’d packed two evening dresses for this trip and your favorite was a sexy little cocktail dress that fit you like a glove. It had the perfect neckline that complimented your rack. It had a silhouette that made you look at least five times hotter than you thought you actually might be and it had, above all else, a skirt that was too difficult to accidentally push up any higher than mid-thigh. No, no. This was the kind of dress that required complete removal for sexy times. If you were removing it alone, or putting it on as you were right now, it required near-contortionist-level skills to get the zipper up all the way, and taking it off required equal effort. There would be plenty of grunting, some embarrassing moans, and lots of huffing and puffing. All sounds that did not invite sex, well, not unless they were happening during, which they would not be. There would be no accidental oops my dress slipped up too high, oops this counter top is just perfect for my thighs to part and for your hips to slip, and oops there’s a penis inside of me. No. None of those shenanigans would happen in this dress. This dress would be your chastity belt. You would not let him down. Also, it was red. 

Your two-hour respite back to the bunks to shower and lie down turned into a shower, shave, moisturize, fragrance, then dress, coif, preen, pluck, and make-up session, and after settling on a soft and delicate make-up look as opposed to, say, a sexy, fierce look, mostly because you were running out of time and also you figured it was probably best to keep yourself far away from the dominatrix end of the spectrum for the sake of everyone involved. You did not once lie down, as you had so promised you would. You felt entirely too wound up for any sort of lengthy pauses that might lead to lengthy daydreams. 

You were out the door nearly exactly 2 hours from the moment you had stepped inside and you found yourself creeping as silently as the heels allowed down the dark hallway toward that blue door, placing a now, nervous and somewhat trembling hand on the doorknob lightly as you suddenly contemplated every single choice you had made back in front of that bathroom mirror. 

What if you were overdressed? You knew you’d be overdressed, this was a cocktail dress without a cocktail party in sight. This was a cobweb-covered, dusty, and dank emergency storm shelter at least 200 years past its heyday. You’d already done the makeup though. You'd already done the hair and you’d even spritzed the faintest of spritzes of your favorite scent in tiny, inoffensive spots like your inner wrists, directly behind your earlobes without overpowering your neck too much, and the tiniest dab between your breasts. 

What if you were too early? What if his 2-hour time frame wasn’t an exact science? Would you wander in there and interrupt his cooking too soon, fluster him, and make him drop a saute pan or burn a flatbread? Would your arrival at the 2-hour mark down to the second freak him out somehow?

Did men find extreme punctuality in a woman attractive or off putting? You wished you had your phone on you for a quick reddit search. 

You removed your hand from the door knob and you crossed your hands behind your back, taking a step backward and rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. You should give it a few minutes. You were counting inside of your head now, doing little head nods as you counted. Five minutes should be plenty. You didn’t want to seem too eager. Maybe you should give it ten. Ten minutes could be the new 15-minute buffer most people factored into their daily schedules when figuring out what time to leave for an appointment in the morning. 

You’d lost count of the seconds after a few rounds of 60 and you had to start all over around the four-minute mark. 

At maybe eight minutes you put your hand on the doorknob again, just holding onto it lightly and counting inside your head like a weirdo, and forty seconds into the ninth minute you heard a shuffling sound on the other side of the door a second before you felt that doorknob turning in your hand. 

You gasped out loud in surprise as the door swung open and nearly hit you and there was a similar gasping sound that came from the other side of the door as someone quickly stopped its forward motion with a hand gripped tightly around the edge of the solid metal door. 

His head peaked around the side and you quickly closed up your gaping mouth, doing your best to hide the surprised look in your eyes.

“Oh,” Kyungsoo said, “here you are.” 

You pulled your lips into a smile that probably looked too tense and it took only a few moments for your gaze to wander a bit over him. He had changed. He had done his hair in some sort of inhumanely attractive upward and back hairstyle with some light product and he was wearing a pretty navy blue color that complemented his skin. The shorts and plain t-shirt were gone and he was wearing jeans and Converse on his feet that looked so effortlessly cool with the outfit you were certain he’d walked out of one of your dreams featuring the sexy boy next door who had stolen your heart. 

“I was going to come and look for you,” he said softly and you widened your eyes some, waving them around the space in front of you that you occupied with a change of the smile on your face. His focus was on your face at first and you knew you had to respond to him. 

“You found me,” you said with just a little bit more embarrassment than you would have liked. You had to pull your lips in between your teeth to conceal the nervous perma-smile and you caught the light drift of his eyes as he noticed the effort you’d put into your look tonight.  

You got a straightening of his shoulders and a hardly concealed throat clearing. He was blinking, swallowing, and his face lifted, not quite pulling his eyes all the way away from you in this dress. 

“W-Wow, uhh--,” he bit down on the inside of his lip as he stepped aside at last to allow you enough room to enter this kitchen without brushing up against the length of his body as you did it. “S-Sorry, I only packed jeans. You look,” He was nodding once, then twice and you felt suddenly too nervous for this talk, “beautiful,” he whispered at last, finishing his compliment so you could finally nod your head, so you could finally let out the smile you’d been fighting the whole time, so you could open your own lips to speak. 

You used your hands, lightly waving them over the length of him without touching him anywhere, of course.

“I like the jeans. And the hair. And the shirt. And the shoes. You’ve got a real ‘college heartthrob that all the girls are not-so-secretly in love with,’ you know, ‘rolled-up notes slipped into your locker from many secret admirers,’ and, ‘nasty fights in the girl’s bathroom because they all want you but your true love is music,’ kind of thing going on,” you said with a lift of an eyebrow and a playfulness in your voice that happened sometimes when you were really flustered and trying to fill in any potential silence with ridiculous nervous chatter. 

Of course, saying way too much as usual; you could not help the word vomit. You were too nervous and not really able to fully look at him despite the vivid imaginary story you’d just attached to the outfit he was wearing. Instead, you wandered through the space, busying yourself with looking around the kitchen that it seemed he had cleared out some. The mattresses were all gone. There went yet another surface for the sex that would not happen. 

The lights were different, some of the switches on the wall were off and you saw that he’d set up about as good a table setting as he could with the limited supplies in this place. There was a tablecloth, which you thought might be a flat sheet from one of the bunk beds, there were two place settings with wine glasses and cutlery and you could even hear the faint notes of some classical music playing from somewhere in the kitchen. 

He had been silently following you through the journey and when you’d finally worked up any real nerve and risked a look over at him, he was leaning ever so slightly against the countertop with both of his hands laid flat on its surface. His eyes were closed up and he wore on his face the smallest, nearly imperceivable smile that, had you not had the last 48 hours or so’s worth of direct observation of this man’s face, you might have missed. When he lifted his head, there was an inhale and he brought his focus up and around the ceiling above his head once before all of that trapped oxygen slowly exited through his mouth. 

“Umm,” he said, “Thanks.” His eyes touched yours for a tenth of a second. “I think,” he squinted his eyes, lifted a hand lightly, and waved his rounded fingertips in the air for a moment, “I think -- that was a compliment, right? Not just a made-for-TV movie you were writing just now?” He was nervous. You could see it in the pinkness in his cheeks and the way his eyes refused to sink down into yours for longer than it took to keep track of your location. 

His nerves brought a smile to your face and you laughed lightly and covered your mouth with your fingertips, “Yes,” you nodded. “Yes, it’s a compliment. You look nice. Very nice.”

You could hear the nerves in your response and like a gentleman, so very unlike himself actually, he did not call attention to it. Instead, he spun on his feet and headed toward the fridge to pull out a bottle of wine. He was fumbling with the foil on top and he was digging through a drawer for the corkscrew and speaking rather quickly at the same time. “Do you want a drink? I think we should both have a drink.” And you’d never seen someone make such quick work of one of those stubborn contraptions. 

You were nodding, because, yes please, and thank God. You were moving to the table to grab both of the wine glasses and he was meeting you halfway with the open bottle poised and ready to pour you giggled just a little bit when his flighty eyes touched yours and he giggled just a little bit too. He poured each of the glasses halfway full with the dark red liquid. The bottle was set down with a thud and his fingertips brushed lightly against yours when he grabbed one of the glasses, and to your absolute devastation, the most beautiful and disarming smile landed lightly on his face when you gave his glass the smallest clink with a tip of your own. 

“Should we toast?” you lifted your eyebrows with the echo of the clink still hovering in the air and his glass was already touching his bottom lip. He pulled it away for a second and his eyes were wider now. 

“I -- uhh, kind of just want to drink it,” his smile returned and you laughed out loud placing a hand on his arm to keep him from lifting it any closer to his lips. 

“Fine, say something,” he caved and his glass was back down closer to your lifted one. 

“Well now I can't think of anything,” you frowned and his lips closed up, a ripple of movement flowed through his face but you were thinking hard, trying to find something fitting to say in this situation. He waited patiently and when you gasped and smiled his eyebrows lifted expectantly. 

“Oh, I got it,” you lifted the glass with a renewed confidence in your voice, “To ‘No Sex Tonight,’” you said with a wide smile, and his eyes with lifted eyebrows above them widened even further. He was pulling his lips in between his teeth, biting lightly, and making no effort to toast with you. He wasn’t opening his mouth to say the toast. You leaned your glass into his and lifted your head, shaking it and wiggling your eyebrows just a little so he could say it too. 

“To--,” you began again, encouraging him to say the toast. 

“To No Sex,” he said with his eyes slipping away from your face as he glanced around the room.

“Tonight,” you added and you clinked the glasses together again, making the satisfying sound and ignoring the fact that he didn’t say the last word of your toast out loud but you did take his mouthing the word ‘tonight’ as acceptable behavior. 

His glass was lifted and he was draining the contents, lifting his palm to rub over the surface of his lips when was finished swallowing you took a pretty good bit of your wine into your mouth and swallowed it down, using your tongue to catch any drops of the red that may have remained. 

You’d smelled the food when you first came in. With the taste of this wine on your tongue though your nose was picking up on something that you thought might pair very well with this choice. The more you could smell the hungrier you felt. 

“It smells delicious in here.” 

“Oh, it’s ready if we are,” He set his glass down and rounded the kitchen counter to move toward the stove which had lights on it to indicate that something was still hot and bubbling in the various pots and pans you could see. 

“You can,” he had begun to grab the handles of the pans but quickly left them behind to return to where you leaned against this counter and his hand was out, pointing you toward the table setting. “You can sit here,” he followed you closely behind as you were ushered toward the spot, and before you had a chance to reach for the chair his swift hand reached first. You looked up into his pink face briefly and then simply sat down. The man was buzzing around you, bringing the wine bottle over to you for a quick refill, doing the same for his own glass which he took one more sip of before he sat it down and you watched as he left the table to go back to the stove. There were movements and sounds and clanks and clatters and soon he was returning with two small shallow bowls. 

“So I,” he was already speaking before he had arrived at the table, “umm, didn’t really want to go too wild tonight. I’m not a fan of hyper-trendy gastronomics; not everything has to be deconstructed. Food can just be constructed. Plus your stomach has been hurting so I’ve gone for a more modern comfort vibe, umm--.” 

You looked down at the pretty yellow-colored soup he’d placed in front of you with the contrasting swirl of white in the center. There was a side of some crusty bread that looked a bit like he might have baked too and that might have explained the yeasty smell you’d caught when you first walked into the room. He extended his hand with a palm up toward the dish he’d just given you. Then he clasped his hands together silently and he lingered, specifically not sitting down on his own side to enjoy his own starter. 

“We have a browned butter, butternut squash, and apple bisque to start. It’s warm and soothing. Sweet and savory, kind of thing.” You really had never heard him speak this fast; saying quite so much. Honestly, it was filling you with bubbly giggles that you had to swallow back down. This side of him was captivating to witness. He was clearly so passionate about food that hearing him talk about it felt like having a gossip session with your bestie and being so pulled into their words that you gasped in surprise or shock or horror with each new twist. You found yourself watching his face closely as he spoke and wishing he wouldn’t stop. He talked quite a bit with his hands and you caught the smallest line of red color on his pinky finger. His hands moved too quickly for examination. He had already moved to his seat and was sitting down watching you with those hands fisted lightly in front of his face. 

You lifted the soup spoon and dipped it lightly into the center of the swirl, catching some of both of the pretty colors of this thick soup and the first taste on your tongue had your eyes widening in genuine surprise. You hadn’t at all expected the depth of flavor in this. You’d kind of just expected something quite like that time you tried squash baby food on a dare but when you actually swallowed a mouthful you could taste something delightfully nutty on your tongue, something undeniably savory yet with a sweetness that went so well with the flavors. The bread, when dipped into it added a contrast in texture and you looked up into his expectant face with a tiny, but thoroughly impressed expression written in your eyes. 

He hadn’t even had any of his yet. He just sat there and watched you with a very well-concealed smile behind his hands.

“Are you kidding me Doh Kyungsoo?” you said between spoonfuls and that smile widened as he bit down on his bottom lip and lifted a single eyebrow over his eye, the ‘exterior’ one, “Why the hell is this so good? It should just taste like squash but, how in the world?”

You heard the slow exhale from his lungs and he lifted his glass to hide his self-satisfied smile behind it. You heard the smallest giggle from him and he dipped his own spoon into his bowl for a small taste. 

More than just being delicious it felt nice inside of your stomach. Something about his choice of vegetables, specifically nothing acidic or spicy, nothing too harsh at all but downright comforting as it warmed you from the inside. He had really made this with only you in mind. You could feel it inside, both figuratively and literally. Your stomach felt soothed with each mouthful. You reached the bottom with the smallest frown of disappointment that it was over. 

Still, you were thankful that he’d only given you a reasonable amount of this soup. You were sure if you had unrestricted access to the pot on the stove you would eat too much of it and pop. As it was now, you’d finished the entire thing and he was already standing and reaching down for your bowl to clear it away. 

He hardly touched his. You wondered if he’d just made this for you and if it wasn’t exactly his favorite. Maybe he’d sampled too much of it while he was cooking it. 

He was busy in the kitchen again. When he returned it was time for the entree and he had a wider smile right off the bat. Clearly, your enjoyment of the soup had gotten rid of any of the nerves from earlier. Or maybe it was the wine that did it. 

“Our entree tonight is braised, brown sugar, balsamic short ribs on top of, uhh, a gouda polenta,” he was placing the dish in front of you, pointing a finger at the different elements on yet another beautifully plated dish of food. 

“Mushrooms instead of spinach, which I think you don't care for,” he pulled his lips tight and winced lightly as he said it with a slight upward inflection of his voice, “and I would normally do scallions on top, but you picked them off of the fish yesterday, so we have safe and harmless, microgreens instead.”

You looked across the table at him, a hand laid just over the bare skin on your chest and a genuinely surprised expression on your face. How he even knew about the spinach thing you had no idea. 

“Did you change the recipe for me?”

“Of course,” he said, looking down at the dish in front of him and picking up his fork, “Why wouldn’t I?” 

He asked it like you were the one dropping bombshells here. 

“How did you know I hate spinach?” you took the first bite of meat with a scoop of polenta and made sure to grab some mushrooms too and you honestly felt like you could just die tonight, even without ever having sex with this man, as long as you could eat this dish from start to finish you swear to God you’d die with a big smile on your face. 

Kyungsoo was chewing and swallowing, grabbing a sip of wine from his glass to clear his throat enough for a response. 

“Oh uhh,” he wiped at his mouth with a napkin, “Claire’s birthday dinner at Bella Mia,” he said with an odd air of finality. 

You lifted your head, mouth too full of food to speak, but after a quick swallow you leaned further, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Bella Mia, that was,” you were racing through your memory, “last year?” 

His eyes dropped to the food in front of him. After a few seconds of silence he was nodding his head lightly and he lifted a tiny bit of polenta into his mouth with the tip of his fork. You went silent as you watched him and after a few seconds, his eyes looked back up into yours. He reached for the wine again, taking a small sip and you were still watching without speaking.

“How do you remember that?” you had to ask it. You simply couldn’t comprehend how one interaction at a restaurant a year ago could have led to him remembering that you didn’t like spinach. You didn't even remember the spinach from that night. You’d never order a dish with spinach in the description, not intentionally. 

“I just do,” he answered and his lips hung open. You were shaking your head, still not quite getting it and he inhaled a long and deep breath, closed his eyes up, and opened his mouth to speak. 

“You asked the waiter if it was possible to take the spinach out of the Spinach Lemon Ricotta Ravioli as if that isn’t the most insane request in the history of Italian food. It’s literally the first ingredient in the name of that dish.” 

You had a mouthful of food and you made a face. You had no memory of this event, but honestly, it sounded like something you might do. You swallowed and you were fighting your smile. A small giggle escaped and you reached for the wine. 

“I need you to understand that at those kinds of high-end restaurants, staff will come in before the sun even comes up to make the fresh pasta, the dough, the filling, the sauces are all prepped and made, some of these things cook for hours. There will be chefs arriving at 4am just to make things like the filling for your Spinach Lemon Ricotta Ravioli and you,” his words paused and his mouth froze as his eyebrows lifted and he shook his head, closing his eyes, his hand was lifted and he motioned in your direction. 

You took another bite of food, thoroughly entertained by whatever you had done that he was he was complaining about, 

“You,” he inhaled a deep breath, “pretty little troublemaker, so fucking cute,” the casually thrown-in compliment stopped your chewing and you felt a warmth in your cheeks but he wasn’t finished, “came in, smiling sweetly and asks this poor kid who survives on your tips if he is willing to go back into that kitchen, which, is like a warzone during peak hours and ask some type-A asshole to remove the Spinach from the 4am prepped and assembled Spinach Lemon Ricotta Ravioli.”

You were laughing. You covered your mouth and you threw your head back with it. His own smile was wide and he watched the laughter move through you until it settled and you were able to nod your head with the smallest shrug as a response. You had no defense. You must have done that at the time and he was right, you didn’t like spinach and would usually avoid it if you could. 

He settled into a soft silence and his smile was gone but his eyes were on you. “I asked Claire for your number that night.” 

It felt like a shock to hear this next part. You hadn’t known this. Claire had never told you. You searched his face for truth and leaned closer to him. 

“You have my number?” 

He nodded his head, closing his eyes lightly and licking his lips. His bottom lip was pink from the wine.

“You never used it,” you remarked and the head nodding didn’t stop. He made no claims to the opposite. 

“I didn’t use it.” 

“Why not?” 

He looked at you with a little bite of his teeth together that you saw through his parted lips. You heard the little hiss of air that escaped. 

“You scare the shit out of me.” It came out as a whisper and you pulled your face back, unable to quite believe that entirely. He didn’t act like someone who was even the least bit intimidated by you. There was nothing scary about you at all. You couldn’t even kill a spider, the thing you hated the most in the world. How in the world were you scary?

“I do?” you were shaking your head and he was nodding his head. “Still? But Kyungsoo, I’m just--” 

“Still do,” his lips formed an O shape and he spoke over whatever denial you were about to voice about how very un-scary you actually were. So what if you were sarcastic and kind of mean and temperamental at times and yelled at him and called him mean names. It didn’t make any sense. None of that was scary. 

“But, why?” 

You lost his eyes when you asked for the reason. He looked down at the table, lifting his half-finished plate and looking over at your empty plate, he simply stood up and grabbed both of them, taking them both over to that kitchen sink where you heard the sounds of water running. He was running too.

He’d gone out of his way to avoid it. You didn’t have it in you to find out the potentially terrible truths about how he really saw you, not tonight. You were having a nice dinner and a nice date with him. You’d both been laughing and giggling and the food was so delicious and felt so nice inside of your stomach, the last thing you wanted was to ruin it by pushing him to answer something he didn’t want to answer. What you always hated the most was being pushed into something you didn’t want to do and you owed him the courtesy of respecting the things he didn’t want to do. 

You wouldn't push.

The wine bottle on the counter was empty. You’d lifted it and shook it with a little frown on your lips. You could see Kyungsoo’s strong back as he moved at the sink and you slipped behind him to reach the fridge where you’d seen him pull the wine bottle from. You were pretty sure you’d seen a few more bottles in there. 

The sound of the fridge door opening pulled his attention away from the dishes he was washing and he angled his torso in your direction with his wet hands still under the running water.

“I’ll get it,” he said quickly and he was rinsing and reaching for a towel. 

“I got it,” you said. You already had the bottle on the counter and you had removed the foil to expose the cork. You were holding the corkscrew above the bottle, pointing it downward with the smallest push. Nothing really happened. You lifted the little arms up and down, noticing how the fat screw moved up and down too. It looked like a joyful little man with a spring for legs.

Kyungsoo was standing behind you, you felt the warmth of him at your back. His arms reached around you and you watched him grip your hand that held the corkscrew, his other hand landed over your other hand and he pulled you up so you were holding the neck of the bottle. It felt exactly like when you were his puppet and he used your body to cook a meal. Except he stood so much closer to you now. No witnesses were watching you both touch each other and you could feel so much more of his body behind you. His hand pressed yours down, corkscrew in hand and he was turning it as he pushed hard. Your wandering eyes watched the flex of his muscles in his forearm.. 

You felt a little bit dizzy and you could feel the effects of his closeness behind you. Your eyes drifted closed and you leaned against him. Letting your head fall back just a little bit so you could feel the weight of his head resting against your own. A low sound escaped your mouth and his breath caught audibly in his throat. His hand that was turning the corkscrew stopped its progress and he froze in place for three whole seconds before you caught the clench of his arm muscles. You’d long abandoned opening the bottle and your hand that had been so busy working had drifted up to just over your shoulder where his face was. You felt the smoothness of his cheek, the firmness in his tense jaw and when you turned your face into him, he hardly gave you any space at all for the spin within his arms and while you’d managed it you were standing so close to him that every bit of his skin was magnified. He seemed to be purposely avoiding your eyes even as you dipped your head to catch them. 

“Stop it,” he whispered and you smiled when his eyes drifted down to look into yours. 

“Why’d you take it away? I was doing it.”

“You weren’t doing shit,” he said with an undercurrent of humor. Behind you, he worked. He didn’t even strain with the effort, not even grunting or making any sounds to indicate that it was even a little bit difficult for him. He just effortlessly pulled the cork out behind your back. He lifted the corkscrew up with the cork still threaded through the spring. You turned to look at it, lifting an eyebrow to see the result of his efforts and he used both of his hands to lift the little arms up and down. It wiggled in his fingers.

“You were making it dance. That’s all you were doing.” 

He was gripping the bottle and walking away from you, doing the cutest little sidestep in the middle of his journey toward the table. You knew, just as you had been, that he’d been a bit affected by the closeness with you just now. 

Soon you had a glass filled with wine in your hand and you had this handsome man’s face back at your side. He was sipping and his eyes were still just a little bit too evasive in a way that put the smallest pout on your lips. You had an inclination that you were being just a little bit bad, but it was only a little bit. You hadn’t even kissed him earlier. You hadn’t touched him with your hands that much, very little actually, he was the one who had put his hands on you, he was the one who wrapped his arms around you and coated your back with his body and even placed his feet just within the same tile you occupied on the floor in front of that countertop. There was no reason why he needed to be stingy with his looks, just because maybe you’d imagined kissing him just now. 

After a few moments, he spoke.

“Did you like it?” 

You lifted your eyebrows and tilted your head, pulling the wine glass down from your lips. You swallowed and lifted your eyes to contemplate what exactly you were being asked. The fantasies about kissing his lips? Yes, you did like those. The closeness to his body? You craved more. Kyungsoo watched your thinking face and you caught the movement of his hand as he raised it up to your face, taking his thumb and lightly running it over your bottom lip. You could feel the moisture he pulled away there; a drop of wine he had wiped from your mouth for you. 

“Yes,” you said in a whisper and his eyes narrowed as he looked away from you for a second.

“You did?” he lifted a single eyebrow, turned from you again, and smiled into the wine glass.

“You finished it. You must have liked it. More so than the fish last night, I think.” 

“Oh, the food,” you giggled and took another sip, leaning lightly against the kitchen counter to keep your balance stable through the laughter. “Yes, the food was amazing, Kyungsoo.”

He was looking at your silly reaction with a widening of his smile. “Of course the food, what did you think I was talking about?” This man was cute when he giggled.

“I liked the fish too. It was probably the best fish I’ve ever tasted.” When your words were out his head was shaking back and forth but that smile stayed put on his pretty face. 

“You sat there, painstakingly picking off every single little bit of scallion you could find on the top of that thing. Do you have any idea how tiny I cut those? Some of them were microscopic and you wouldn't even take a bite until you’d gotten everyone.”

“They weren’t that small. I’m very good with picking things out of my food that I don't want to eat, I have excellent chopsticks skills.” 

“And I have excellent knife skills. I was just waiting for you to try it. And then when you did, you didn’t even say anything. A few bites, not even a head nod. Not even a smile. Do you know what that does to a man?” 

You reached forward and gripped the hand that was flying around in front of him as he talked and his eyes fell down to where you held onto him. You lifted his hand and moved your fingers so that you held on tight to his pinky finger, the one with the very obvious fresh knife slice on it. 

“Knife skills? Kyungsoo, you didn't even cut yourself when you were blindfolded. What is this?” you had a teasing giggle on your lips and his mouth opened once and closed back up again, clearly not expecting you to see the evidence of the small mistake he had made with the knife as he cooked dinner tonight. 

“I had you then,” he said through a rough inhale of air into his lungs and he looked away from you again, sipping on the glass of wine, draining nearly the rest of the glass.

It was a good thing he claimed to have a high alcohol tolerance because you had never made such claims and you both were working through these bottles pretty quickly. 

He was exhaling and he was closing his eyes, shaking his head back and forth and a rough laugh broke through.

“Do you know when the last time I cut myself during prep was?” His eyes were wild now, the smile sheepish and telling, “It’s probably been five -- ten years. I don't mess up, but you--” he inhaled again and stopped speaking for a second. 

“You.” you heard him repeat it. You, the source of all of his problems. Somehow you couldn’t find any reason to be offended. “You had me all fucked up.” 

“I did?” your smile was genuine. You were definitely flattered by this little confession of his. “Do you want me to put a bandaid on it?” You frowned down, not meaning the pity on your face one bit, “blow on it, maybe.” Your lips formed into a tiny ‘o’ shape and you exhaled a slow breath through your lips, lifting his hand up so his wounded pinky was positioned right in front of your lips. You felt too out of control again. You couldn't even remember the last time you felt this giddy. Or the last time you’d flirted this intensely with a man who flat-out refused to have you but definitely wanted you as badly as you did him. 

It was while you held his hand that a thought came back to you. A call-back to before the kiss, before the man pulled you into him and hugged you so tightly, burrowing his face against your belly. Long before you’d even known the depths of his actual feelings for you and your mind sharpened to that thought so intently that your eyes widened with the realization. You were speaking to him before you had a chance to really think about the words you were saying. Although with the wine, you probably wouldn’t have made very many adjustments before you just started blabbing.

“Kyungsoo,” your eyes were wide and you shook his hand within yours. His attention was grabbed in an instant just because of the urgency you had in your voice. You really hadn’t even considered it at all at the time, but now, “Kyungsoo! You could have had sex!” 

You said it with such shock in your voice and his wide eyes flattened and he narrowed them at you, watching your face for a long time as you simply nodded your head in excitement. He very carefully removed his hand from within yours while you were distracted.

“Scrabble, you could have spelled out ‘sex’! You had an ‘X’ Kyungsoo, an ‘X’, that is ten points! It would have sat on the triple letter score, that would have been,” You were counting in your head, lifting a finger to do little mental tabulations, “33 points! Why did you play ‘see’ when you could have had ‘sex’?”

There was something happening on his face. It wasn’t the face of a man who’d had such a grand revelation dropped right into his lap but his eyes were closing up, he was exhaling a very long breath and seemed to go on forever and he was shaking his head very shallowly as he did it. Why wasn’t he excited? He would have stood a chance against you. You frowned lightly at his disappointing reaction. 

“Don't you,” he was speaking. It was coming out slowly. There was some sort of attitude in between his words, “think,” he bit down on his lip and inhaled again, “Don't you think I thought about ‘sex’?”

“I thought about it. ‘Sex’ was the first thing I thought of. The very first thing, before anything else. ‘Sex’ was there --- in my head -- the whole time.” This was a revelation to you. Why didn’t he use it if he had already considered it? Why did he play such a shitty word when he could have had a good one worth a lot of points. 

“I couldn’t play ‘sex.’” He said it with a hand wave into the air in front of him. It felt very final of him to do. “Not with you.” he added with a widening of his eyes and his eyebrows lifted. He seemed just a little bit too worked up for this discussion about Scrabble. “Anyone else, yes, fine. It literally doesn’t matter. But not with you.” 

“Why not with me?” It was inconceivable. He was the most competitive person you had ever met in your entire life and he wanted you to believe that he wouldn’t do anything he possibly could to beat you? Sure 33 points didn’t come close to your 50 but still, he was never going to catch up to you with a measly 5 point word. It sounded a little bit like he wanted to lose. Like he threw in the towel and threw the game. 

“Because I like you -- like that,” He spoke quite abruptly and whatever protests you had planned got caught within your open mouth. 

“Like sex. Like, really, really like you. Like you make me feel fucking crazy, you make me fuck up while cooking, something I don't do.”

“Like I think about you constantly and I want to see you and be near you and hear your laugh and feed you. I want you to think of me and I want you to kiss me. Like it actually scares the shit out of me, how much I like you. Because…because--,” He rubbed a hand roughly through his hair, abandoning this thought.  

“So, no. I couldn’t play ‘sex.’ Not with you.”

You felt too stunned to move. You’d long since closed up your surprised mouth but you stood there looking at this man who had just confessed quite a lot to you and then he had closed up his eyes, lifted his hand to cover his eyes as he tilted his head back. You could see his eyes come open again and he looked up into the ceiling with about as much regret written all over his face as you’d ever seen. 

“Oh,” you managed. It was tiny and yet he heard it and his head sank down, pink cheeks, bright red ears --  all of him. You lifted your wine glass, with the little bit you still had left, slipped a very careful hand down to rest it under his hand holding his own glass, and lifted it just a bit higher, quite surprised that he hadn’t dropped it or spilled the last few drops during his passionate speech about how much he likes you and how absolutely head over heels he was for you and how he would rather lose at something than admit just how badly he wants you; and with the smallest little tilt of your hand you hit the rim of your glass against his, letting the sound of that glass clinking note ring out clearly in the silent space between you both. 

“To ‘No Sex Tonight,’” you whispered into the opening of your wine glass and you lifted it, draining the last of its contents, as you simultaneously lifted the hand that sat below his wine glass until it reached his lips and you felt him give in, raising the glass and swallowing what was left. 

The silence between the two of you withstood. Neither of you said anything after the stupid toast and you cleared your throat actually beginning to feel quite desperate for something to fill in this silence. You almost couldn’t breathe in here. 

“You didn’t seem to eat much,” you had to speak, even if the words were just a flimsy subject change. You had actually been interested in his odd behavior with the amazing food he had spent two hours preparing. 

“Oh,” he said with a wave of his hand and a head shake, “I’m uhh, kind of sick of my own cooking.” he even had the audacity to make a face that had a tinge of disgust. You threw your face back and away from him, lifting your hand to cover your chest in absolute disbelief. 

“You what?” your question betrayed the absolute disbelief you felt. 

“I mean, I just can’t. Especially something that takes a long time to cook. If I’ve been smelling something for hours, sometimes it just overstays its welcome. I can’t really explain it.” 

You tried to remember seeing him eating before and he did in fact seem to pick at his fish and not really eat it with the same vigor that you had devoured your filet with. But then again you remembered him with the eggs benedict. He had cleared that dish completely; you saw the empty plate and all. 

“But you ate all of the eggs this morning.” 

“Oh, you made that. I liked that,” he said with a hand wave. He was again, refilling his glass of wine and tipping the bottle opening to do the same for yours. 

You were shaking your head, remembering how heavy of a hand he had in that dish, how vigorously he was shaking your hand to get that hollandaise sauce to reach the correct state of emulsification, and how hard it was to keep up with him as he did it. 

“Kyungsoo, you just held my hands, you made it.”

“No way, That was you. I just touched you a little and showed you what to do. I helped very little in that, you did most of it. You did great. The tomatoes were a little,” he held up his index finger and thumb, “large, but I actually liked how they felt to bite into. I think I’ll start adjusting my cutting every now and then and just fucking go for it like you did.”

“Rustic, you know?” He was teasing you, you could feel it in the soft smile that had landed on his lips and you scoffed out a quick laugh. 

You reached out a hand to swat at his chest and he giggled, seeing you coming he reached up to grab ahold of your hand, keeping your palm flat against his chest for a few moments. 

“Do you have room?” His question was vague and of course, your mind had been focused on feeling that steady rhythm of his heart beating below the thin fabric of this shirt he was wearing. Below your palm, you could feel the firmness in his chest muscles and it took you longer than it should have to acknowledge that he spoke to you. 

“Dessert?” You knew he couldn’t have been asking if you had room in your bed for him tonight because yes, yes, a thousand yes’s, he could fit beside you and inside of you and — he was nodding his head, “did you make dessert too?” you asked.

“Something very simple. We only had eggs and milk here. Crème brûlée.”

You felt the sudden excitement. It was one of your favorites! Not just because it was delicious but you absolutely loved cracking it with the spoon. You were smiling and nodding and you lifted up your hand, moving it up and down a little as if you held a spoon. 

“Ooo, can I do the cracking?” 

He laughed once while heading to the fridge and pulling it open. 

“Yeah, let me torch it.” He pulled out two ramekins and made quick work of sprinkling sugar on top of each of them. Then he had fire. You watched him hold the fire and you were standing right beside him holding two teaspoons held up in front of your face and you watched and you waited with wide-eyed excitement. The sugar that he had sprinkled slowly began to change color and it melted and bubbled and you leaned over his shoulder to watch it.

The second the torch was off you leaned forward with a spoon outstretched.

“Wait, wait,” he was laughing harder, “you need to wait a few seconds.”

He touched very lightly on top of the toasted sugar and nodded his head twice, “Okay, go.” 

You reached forward and smacked it hard. The first crack was the absolute best and you tapped the spoon again a few more times, delighted with the satisfaction you felt inside. You kept cracking until there was no more cracking to be had and he was holding his belly with laughter as he watched you do it. You felt like a child at Christmas time.

When you pulled your face back up and looked at him you had only one question for him. He was already giggling and shaking his head with his eyes closed.

“Kyungsoo,” you whined. He was nodding his head already, answering the question he already knew you were going to ask, “Kyungsoo are you going to crack yours? Can I crack yours?” You had your hands lifted into a begging posture and your spoon was still lifted, with bits of sugar from the first one still stuck to it.

 “You can,” he giggled and nodded again and you wasted no time, not willing to risk that he might change his mind and regret giving you cracking permission; you hit just as hard, cracking it all over until it was completely shattered and all of the cracking was finished. You pulled your face up and smiled widely. 

Kyungsoo had reached for a spoon and was dipping it into the pudding, lifting up a small bit and bringing it up to your mouth. You opened your lips and accepted the bite. Of course, it was delicious. It was sweet and creamy and expertly set. The bits of torched sugar on top added a pleasant crunch. He was dipping his spoon and taking a bite from the same ramekin as you had tried and you looked down at the other dessert, dipping your spoon and pushing another mouthful into his surprised mouth. He pulled it in, chewing and swallowing and the back and forth continued for a few more minutes until both dishes were completely empty and you simply couldn’t handle any more food tonight. You felt thoroughly done. You felt insane with the giddiness, struggling to come up with a single flaw no matter how hard you thought about it. Maybe the only regret you felt inside of your heart could be just how well-behaved you had been all night long. You hadn’t once done anything that might lead to forbidden sex that he definitely didn't want and as you watched his face, he definitely looked content to lean against this countertop and simply exist beside you in your presence. 

He had said that, after all. That he wanted to be near you. To hear your laughter, to feed you. 

“Kyungsoo,” you called his attention and he turned his face to you, still a little bit rosy from all the laughter but much calmer now that the wild excitement you were feeling had faded some. His eyebrows lifted and his eyes roamed around your face with the tiny hum that left his chest. You held your breath and closed your eyes. 

“Do you want to be together -- with me -- in a relationship?” As soon as it was out, you felt a surge of nerves flood through your stomach. The effect was so strong and instantaneous and he seemed completely frozen in place, his eyes were still on your face and only the smallest tick of his head was his only movement. His smile and all traces of that happiness were gone in an instant. He just stared at you with a completely caught-off-guard expression in his eyes and his mouth motionless and silent.

And he stayed that way for the four, five, six deep breaths that you took, not moving a muscle and definitely not answering your question with a loud, definite, ear-bursting yes. In fact the longer his silence went on and on, there came a moment in his silence where you could no longer look at him. You had to look away and you closed your eyes up tight when you heard the inhale and the exhale that came from his lungs, but absolutely no words came out of him. Nothing. He said nothing. 

You exhaled a small scoff of disbelief.

This question came too soon. You were an idiot. He liked you, sure but that didn’t mean he was ready for anything serious with you. He wasn’t even ready to give into the most basic human act of sex without being absolutely completely sure he was committed to someone and that they were committed to him. There had been a reason he hadn’t ever asked you for any sort of commitment. Not only did he not want the sex, but he didn’t want you, not really, not like that. He had told you twice about how scared he was of you. Was this why he had stood you up that night? Was this the reason why he had been so hesitant to get close to you for so long? 

You shook your head and lifted your face, opening your eyes and pushing the smile to your face. You sold it so well. He was looking down at the countertop, absentmindedly picking up grains of sugar with his fingertip, moving all that had spilled into the smallest pile and you could see the conflict written all over his face. 

“Sorry,” you whispered because you were sorry to him. Sorry that you had to say such an abrupt thing when he obviously wasn’t ready for anything like that. Sorry that you couldn’t be the solution to all of his worries and problems in his life. Sorry that you actually caused a few more problems for him than you meant to. You watched him, catching the drift of his eyes as he looked halfway up but he never pulled his attention completely up to you. “I understand,” you said a little bit louder. “Thank you for a lovely dinner, Kyungsoo. It was amazing. You are amazing.” 

You had to leave though. You simply could not stand it here, in this atmosphere you had created with your enormous leaps. Why you simply could not control yourself, you had never been able to figure out. The worst part about you, the thing you absolutely hated the most was your flimsy self-control. It had gotten you fired when you lashed out at that bitch who baited you daily. It had led to you lashing out in anger at friends in the past. At Kyungsoo when you’d felt that he’d done you wrong. You hated everything about yourself right now. You always leaped first and asked questions later. It was the worst. You were the worst. 

You tapped twice on the back of his hand, a small farewell, literally the only thing you could do besides the flimsy apology and you spun on your heels, taking very swift steps out of the kitchen, through the blue door that slammed with a heavy noise on your way through it, down the darkened hallway passed the room with the bunks and further down until you reached a dead end. There was only a big exit door here. It blurred around the edges with the tears that filled your eyes. This was the way out of this place for good. 

The rain had stopped long ago and you pushed the door open, reaching the edge of the front patio and its steep steps. You sat down on the top step wishing and praying to the heavens above that the rain could start again soon because you were desperate for something to hide the tears that streamed down your face. 

Links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Small Ways To Look More Polished (Essential Style & Beauty Tips)

Some simple fashion & beauty tips to help you look more put together to turn heads and feel your best daily. Hope this helps xx

Style:

Always steam, lint roll, and snip any threads from your clothing before heading out the door

Ensure your top, pants/skirt, and outerwear proportions flatter your body shape. Choose cuts, hemlines, and strategically tuck or button (or unbutton) each garment to create lines that flatter your figure

Be mindful of how your pant/skirt/dress hemline aligns with the shaft of your footwear. You don't want any bunching or awkward gaps

Learn which colors are the most flattering on your skin tone (and which shades wash you out)

Study your body shape and the silhouettes that best streamline/elongate your frame

Find the right balance of textures/fabric weight (too many "heavy" fabrics like faux fur, quilting or puffer-style items when styled together can look bulky if not styled carefully)

Invest in a capsule wardrobe and neutral basics made in high-quality fabrics (Pima cotton, cashmere, silk, heavyweight denim, merino wool, etc.)

If an item does not look quite right on your body, tailor it or toss (donate) it out

Make sure all of the hardware matches with all of the jewelry, handbag, watch, cuff or button details, and footwear you choose for any given outfit

Maintain your accessories and footwear. Ensure they're no creases or scuff marks before heading out the door

Beauty:

Always keep your eyebrows well-shaped, brushed, filled in, and regularly tweezed

Tweeze and/or dermaplane your face as needed

Prioritize skincare/SPF for flawless skin

Ensure your foundation/concealer/brow products are all a perfect color match and fully blended into your skin

Use concealer to outline your brows and lip shape for greater definition

Strategically apply bronzer/contour, highlighter, and blush to your face to flatter your natural hollows, and prominent features (top of cheekbones, the tip of the nose, right under the brow), and use a light wash of color where your face would be naturally flushed

Find a flattering lip shade that suits your skin tone and doesn't make your teeth look yellow/dull

Embrace healthy hair habits (condition generously, use a wide-toothed comb and a specialty hair towel on wet hair, use a heat protectant and a round brush for blowouts/styling and satin or silk hair ties/pillowcases, get regular trims)

Use dryer sheets to minimize hair frizz and water or Vaseline to slick back fly-aways

Exfoliate and moisturize religiously (dry brush or sugar scrub with lotions including ingredients like hyaluronic acid or glycerin, depending on your skin type)

Use cuticle oil around your nails & apply hand cream/lip balm daily (or substitute with Vaseline for any of the three)

Maintain a diligent nail routine (consistent nail shape, classic pink, nude, red, or vampy polish color, and a high-quality top coat)

[h3artstain]

A list of (realistic) things you can do to be more environmentally friendly

(from an earth-loving horticulture student.)

— COSMETICS

Use bar soap instead of soap bottles

Use old toothbrushes for cleaning surfaces

Try exploring and researching some homemade face/body/lip products

Use ice sleeves, sunglasses, and caps instead of sunscreen (Edit: I’ve seen people say that it is safer and even necessary to wear sunscreen at all times so try to use eco friendly sunscreen instead! In my country it’s pretty uncommon to wear sunscreen often as we usually wear ice sleeves which is why I did not know this oof)

Use coffee grinds or homemade tumeric masks instead of cosmetic products with exfoliator beads

Invest in a metal ear cleanser instead of cotton buds

Try placing more importance on skincare instead of contributing to exploitative beauty companies by buying makeup

Use cosmetic products that do not contain palm oil

— CLOTHING

Try as much as possible to rewear your outfits at least twice before washing them

Actually WEAR your clothes! I know some of y’all just wear them once for your Instagram post and let it rot in your closet forever. Stop doing that!

Thrift, stitch up holes in your clothes, and use second hand clothing instead of supporting fast fashion companies like SHEIN, H&M, Zara, etc.

Cut up your old clothing into yarn and do macramè with it

Cut patches of old clothing to turn into reusable cotton pads

Learn how to knit, crochet or stitch your clothes!

If you use tampons, try menstrual cups or discs instead. If you use pads, try reusable pads or period underwear. (Trust me, it works). Also, use reusable panty liners instead of disposable ones. They may seem expensive but you will end up saving a lot more in the long run

— GARDENING

Plant seeds/cuttings in your old bottles, jars, and containers

Propagate your plants and exchange cuttings with your friends instead of buying new plants

Make your own soil mixes instead of buying soil mixes

Better yet, don’t use soil for your indoor plants and try getting into hydroponics or semihydroponics instead. This saves so much water and doesn’t contribute to mining of soil

Fertilise plants with fruit peels, coffee grinds, and tea leaves. (DO NOT use chemical fertiliser on soil)

Plant more legume plants in your garden instead of using nitrogen fertilisers. (Look up the nitrogen cycle if you need an explanation on this)

Avoid pesticides unless really needed. Try sprinkling cinnamon powder on soil or spraying neem oil on plants and soil to keep away pests.

If you have a lawn, try looking into rain gardens and consider making one

Let the (non invasive) weeds in your lawn/garden grow! They are there for a reason!

Stop killing earthworms and millipedes in your garden. This also applies to snails native to your region. They are there for a reason.

Water used to wash fruits and rice can be used to water plants

— REDUCE, REUSE

Use the caps of jars as soap holders

Use recycled paper/notebooks

Wash and dry your glass/plastic items before throwing them in the recycling bin

Keep any plastic bags for future use

Use eco friendly or reusable dish sponges

Use reusable straws and cups

Invest in a fabric cup holder

Bring a water bottle with you wherever you go

Drink more water and less sugary drinks

Bring reusable bags for buying groceries instead of using plastic ones

Always keep a folded up tote/shopping bag with you in case you spontaneously decide to buy something

— ELECTRICITY

Set a timer on your air conditioning instead of letting it run throughout the night

Better yet, use a fan instead of an air conditioner

Open your windows! Aerate your home!

Allow natural light to enter your home during the daytime, so as to avoid turning on your lights

Switch to LED lightbulbs instead of regular lightbulbs

Turn off any switches in your house when they are not in use

Collect the water from your air conditioner/dehumidifier condenser and use that to water plants, clean surfaces, steam ironing, and flushing toilets. Do not drink it though!

— INTERNET

Delete your all of your unwanted emails

Delete your inactive social media accounts

Try not to post excessively on social media and stop scrolling excessively too. This not only reduces energy usage but also improves your mental health and productivity

Try to keep to one social media app instead of having so many

Reduce your internet usage

Save your eBooks on a thumbdrive instead of on cloud

Use Ecosia instead of Google

Stop being influenced by social media trends that only just contribute to consumerism

Download music instead of streaming

Reduce online shopping

— FOOD

Reduce intake of processed foods

Reduce intake of fish, beef, and dairy

Try eating vegan or vegetarian foods at least once or twice a week

Cook your own meals instead of eating out

Bring your own food containers when taking away food from stores

Beeswax wrap instead of cling wrap!

Buy loose-leaf tea or plastic free tea bags instead of regular tea bags

Eat more mushrooms, vegetables, and fruits and drink more water

Support local farmers

And finally, educate yourself more about ecology and the environment!

[stardust-swan]

The complete masterpost on how to smell like a Princess 💐🧴🌸

ARMPITS

🌸 Long armpit hair traps sweat and the smell can be quite noticeable. Wax or nair off the hair (instead of shaving, which causes dark discolouration), or if you don't want to have completely hairless armpits, trim the hair down short with a small pair of scissors.

🌸 Know the difference between deodorant and antiperspirant. Deodorant: stops the smell. Antiperspirant: stops the sweat. Some products may do one but not the other, although most do both.

🌸 Use a men's deodorant instead of women's deodorant. The antiperspirant is much stronger than in women's deodorant. Old Spice makes nice ones that don't smell particularly masculine despite the brand being associated with men. Old Spice Deep Sea smells like sea salt, Old Spice Fiji smells like coconuts, Old Spice Oasis is sweet and slightly vanilla scented, Old Spice Wolfthorn is sweet citrus, and Old Spice Timber smells like sandalwood.

🌸 Apply deodorant after you shower instead of waiting a while.

🌸 Apply antiperspirant at night instead of morning so that it has all night to get absorbed

🌸 Vanilla extract can be used as a natural deodorant. Because it's alcohol based, it kills bacteria and the vanilla scent stays all day.

🌸 Use deodorant as a preventative measure, not a fix for an already-stinky armpit or a replacement for washing.

🌸 Use salicylic acid toner on the armpits. This lowers the pH of your armpits to be inhospitable to odour-causing bacteria

🌸 Hand sanitiser can be used in a pinch (not regularly though as it's bad if you use it too often)

🌸 Washing your armpits with Head & Shoulders shampoo and letting it sit for a bit before rinsing off is really good for getting rid of bad odour due to the zinc in it

🌸 Exfoliate your underarms in the shower to slough off dead skin and deodorant build-up that could be making any products you use under your arms less effective. You can use the same exfoliator you use on your face or body on your armpits.

🌸 To dry your armpits completely, use a hairdryer, apply deodorant, then dry them again. It will make such a difference, as it gets your armpits completely dry, whereas as towel drying alone can often leave some moisture, which is more likely to make you smell.

🌸 If you suffer from excessive underarm sweating, go see your doctor. They can prescribe you an industrial strength antiperspirant which may solve your issue.

CLOTHES

🌸 Don't leave your clothes in the washing machine for too long after they've finished washing, this makes them develop a bad smell. Put them to dry as soon as possible after washing.

🌸 If possible, use the tumble dryer instead of leaving your clothes to air-dry in winter. If clothes are left for hours and hours and not really drying because it's too cold, they develop a bad mildewy smell.

🌸 Dry your clothes outside in the sun whenever possible

🌸 Use scented dryer sheets (but make sure the scent isn't one that clashes with your perfume).

🌸 An old-fashioned tip is to keep cut up soap and lavender in the same drawer as your clothes. You can just stick a scented soap or sachets with potpourri in the closet with your clothes to make them smell nice.

🌸 In hardware stores, you can buy cedar blocks to put in your closet, which as well as making your clothes smell nice, also keep spiders, moths, and centipedes away

🌸 Add a capful of white vinegar to the washing machine when you're washing your clothes (no, this won't make your clothes smell like vinegar. It kills unwanted scents and helps remove stains).

🌸 Add a few drops of essential oils such as lavender, peppermint, tea tree, or eucalyptus to your laundry detergent (you can add some to your dryer sheets as well). Make sure they're clear, light, essential oils, and not dark resiny ones, as that will stain your clothes. You can put a few drops of essential oils on the bottom of your drawer, right on the wooden part too.

🌸 You can buy special laundry perfumes to put in the fabric softener department. The scent lasts for ages

🌸 Avoid harsh or heavy scented laundry detergent and washing powders. Stick to neutral, light-scented ones

🌸 Wear breathable fabrics like cotton, hemp, linen, and silk. This will make more air circulate around your body. Avoid nylon and polyester.

🌸 Wash your bathrobe once a week

🌸 Spray Febreeze or perfume on the clothes in your closet once a week

🌸 Wash any clothes you haven't worn in a while, even if you're not planning on wearing them soon, to prevent a stale smell. It will make your whole wardrobe smell much better

FEET

🌸 Wear clean cotton socks. Don't reuse worn socks days in a row

🌸 Always wear socks. Not wearing them makes it much more likely for your feet to start smelling bad

🌸 Don't wear the same pair of shoes every day, as this can make odour-causing bacteria grow because they don't get a chance to dry out.

🌸 If you're staying somewhere overnight, remember to bring a 2nd pair of shoes to change into instead of wearing the same pair twice in a row

🌸 Put baby powder on your feet before putting socks on

🌸 Always dry your feet thoroughly after washing, including between each toe. This prevents the development of foot fungus

🌸 Use foot spray or shoe spray

🌸 Scent rises, so spray a little perfume in your shoes or on your ankles

🌸 Pat some glycolic acid on the soles of your feet with a cotton pad each morning

HAIR

🌸 Spray some perfume on your hairbrush before brushing. Grace Kelly swore by this

🌸 Apply dry shampoo the night before instead of the morning of so that your hair has time to absorb it

🌸 Hair absorbs scent a lot, so wash it regularly

🌸 Add a tiny drop of perfume oil into a few drops of hair oil and apply to your hair

🌸 It's obvious, but using a shampoo and conditioner that smells good will make your hair smell good

🌸 Consider using a hairspray or hair mist

HOME

🌸 Change pillowcases and bedding regularly. Oils, sweat and dead skin cells will accumulate if you go too long using the same sheets.

🌸 Open the windows regularly and leave your bed to air before making it once a week. No airflow means your environment will be more warm and sweaty, making it more likely to develop bacteria that makes you smell bad

🌸 Light a scented candle or incense regularly so that your home always smells lovely

🌸 Have multiple towels so you can use a new one each time you shower. Once a towel is wet, germs start growing, which can make you smell. Clean your towels regularly

🌸 Above all, make sure your house is clean. It doesn't matter how many of these tips you follow, if your home smells bad, you'll smell like it. Plus if you bring someone home and your house smells, no matter how good you personally smell, that's the impression they'll have of you. Clean regularly.

MOUTH

🌸 Floss after eating. Food particles trapped in between the teeth can make your breath smell bad. Even if you don't notice it, others will.

🌸 Use mouthwash after eating or drinking. Avoid mouthwashes with alcohol, as they can dry out your mouth, and your mouth should be moist if you want to reduce bad breath.

🌸 Brush your tongue or use a tongue scraper. This gets rid of bacteria that can build up and make your breath smell bad.

🌸 Keep a pack of mints or gum in your bag for after you eat or drink out (avoid chewing gum if you grind your teeth or clench your jaw though - it's not good for overworked muscles that need to relax).

🌸 Brush your teeth morning and night. Make sure to brush the hard to reach places, like the back molars. And brush for at least two minutes.

🌸 Bad smelling bacteria builds up in your mouth if it's dry and saliva isn't being produced, so drink water consistently throughout the day and eat every few hours, even if it's just a small snack

🌸 Take probiotics for mouth health to replace bad smelly bacteria with good bacteria

🌸 It's not too important, but if you're talking at close range with someone, you'll be able to smell if they have a scented lip product on, so if you want, put on a scented lipgloss, lipstick, or lip balm. My personal favourites are Glossier Birthday Cake lip balm and Fresh Rose Lip Treatment.

🌸 Chew a sprig of rosemary or mint after eating, it makes your breath smell clean and herbaceous.

🌸 A Princessy mouthwash recipe you can try is putting 60g of dried rose petals in 240ml of rosewater and heating gently for 2 hours, then straining and adding 180ml of liquid honey. As well as making your breath smell beautiful, it also helps to soothe a sore throat.

🌸 An underrated tip is to gargle with hot salt water to kill bacteria. This is good when you're somewhere without access to mouthwash.

🌸 If you take good care of your mouth hygiene but bad breath persists, you may have tonsil stones. You can extract them by rubbing a Qtip on your tonsil.

SIGNATURE SCENT

🌸 Learn your body chemistry. Get a variety of sample perfumes and see what they smell like after 30 minutes, 2 hours, a day. Scent profiles develop and change over time, and a perfume that smells good at first might not after a few hours. See what smells good consistently.

🌸 Apply Vaseline or a light unscented lotion to the area where you'll be spraying the perfume to make it last longer

🌸 Buy a rollerball of your favourite perfume so you can reapply when you're out and about if the scent of your perfume fades

🌸 If possible, spend money on a high end Eau de Parfum. 1 or 2 sprays will suffice, and the scent lasts all day. Sprays from Bath and Body and Victoria's Secret smell nice and all, but fade quickly.

🌸 Keep in mind that some perfumes may only be suitable for certain seasons. A light citrusy scent may be fine in summer, but confusing in winter

🌸 Scent rises, so rub scented lotion on your legs. If you want you can spray some scent inside your shoes or on your ankles.

🌸 Hot skin areas close to your veins like behind the knees, behind the ears, the back of the neck, and on the wrists are good areas to apply perfume. Currently, it's popular in the perfume community to spray on the stomach and forearms too.

🌸 If you're sensitive to perfumes, a perfume oil could be a good substitute (in former Ottoman countries, perfume oil is more popular than spray perfume).

🌸 Less is more with perfume. Never overspray. It's better for the scent to subtly creep up on people than to overwhelm them. Perfume should be intimate, a beautiful association people make with being close to you (isn't it a lovely idea that nobody will know that your hair smells like rose hair mist until your lover buries their face in it, or that your neck smells like Hypnotic Poison until your lover leans in to kiss it?)

🌸 Be aware that people may have sensitivities or allergies to perfume if you're going to be in an enclosed space, for example on an airplane, a cinema, or an office cubicle. It's okay just to smell clean rather than of perfume (Kate Middleton and Megan Markle don't wear any perfume at official state events for that reason).

🌸 Don't be afraid to ask other people about their opinions on your perfume. Of course, it's important that you like your perfume, but everyone else around you will have to smell it too. Some perfumes have associations that you may not necessarily want to portray. For example, Victoria's Secret perfumes are often associated with teenagers, and Chanel No.5 is often associated with grandmas. If you love them, you do you, but just keep this in mind if you're wary of creating certain associations with yourself.

🌸 Choose moisturising and hygiene products that go well with your signature scent. For example, vanilla or cocoa butter moisturiser with a perfume in the gourmand family of fragrances.

🌸 In the same vein as above, you can also choose moisturisers that add dimension to your signature scent, like making a floral perfume smell more summery by using a coconut moisturiser, or making a vanilla scent smell more Christmassy by using a peppermint body wash and lotion.

🌸 Don't mix scents that don't go well together. It will smell confusing if you use a warm vanilla sugar lotion with a musky perfume.

🌸 Don't overload on too many strongly scented products, it's overwhelming. If your perfume is very strong, use a lightly scented or unscented lotion.

🌸 It's okay to have more than one signature scent. The perfume you wear at the office doesn't have to be the same perfume you wear at parties, which doesn't have to be the perfume you wear relaxing at home.

🌸 It's also okay to have no signature scent, and just pick a perfume that fits your mood on a given day

🌸 Try and find a perfume that matches your lifestyle. If you're a minimalist, pick a fresh, light scent, such as Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue. If you love to bake and adore the smell of vanilla, sugar and buttercream, try a gourmand perfume, like Dior's Hypnotic Poison or Ariana Grande's Cloud. If you live an outdoorsy lifestyle, try a woody scent like Santal 33 by Le Labo. Your scent should match your vibe, if you're not naturally a party girl or a chic lady, don't try to fake it with perfume, it will just be confusing.

🌸 Don't pick a perfume you don't personally like just because someone else recommends it, like wearing a scent you find grandma-like just because someone said it will make you smell Old Money. You're the one who has to smell it all day

🌸 Spray a little perfume on your hair and wrists before going to sleep to feel soft, pretty, and luxurious, like a Princess or an Old Hollywood star

🌸 A tip from exotic dancers is to spray perfume right after showering, moisturise, then spray the perfume again to really lock in the scent

🌸 Read books like The Secret of Scent by Luca Turin, Fragrance and Wellbeing by Jennifer Peace Rhind, and Scent and Subversion by Barbara Herman to understand the science of scent and what smells great from the point of view of a perfume expert.

🌸 If you want free samples, try e-mailing a perfume house saying you've seen a promo of their perfume and would be interested in a complimentary sample (send your address too). Usually they read lots of complaints, so they'll be glad if they can make someone happy (this may not always work with every perfume house though). You can also go to a quiet counter at a boutique and ask for samples of a perfume you want, even tell them that you're young and can't afford much and they'll give away lots.

🌸 Science has shown that women are much more sensitive to musk scents than men, so lesbian/bi ladies may want to consider trying a musk scent while on a date. And as for men, they prefer lily of the valley, as well as gourmand scents like vanilla, cinnamon, and oddly, pumpkin and lavender together. [Source]

YONI

🌸 Take probiotics

🌸 Wear cotton underwear. Avoid tight underwear and underwear with dye if possible.

🌸 Sleep without underwear. Letting your yoni breathe is great for achieving an attractive smell

🌸 Don't clean your yoni with regular soap. It can throw off your pH, which can cause yeast infections and a bad smell. It's generally okay to use soaps specifically formulated for your vulva, or gentle soaps like Johnson's baby soap or Dove sensitive.

🌸 Drink natural 100% pineapple juice and cranberry juice, or buy pills with those respective ingredients in the health store. Even if you don't want to drink it all the time, drinking cranberry/pineapple juice an hour before intimacy will make you taste sweeter.

🌸 Instead of using scented feminine hygiene products (which are bad for you), change your pad or tampon regularly. Switch to menstrual cups if possible, as there will be no smell at all (whereas the pads and tampons themselves will start smelling bad if left for too long).

🌸 Rub some roll-on deodorant in the crevice where your inner thigh meets your vulva. It develops its own B.O smell (like a leg pit). Deodorant improves the smell immensely.

🌸 Make sure your partner has clean hands/a clean mouth before touching you sensually. Also, use a condom if possible, as ejaculate inside of you can mess up your pH balance

🌸 Use Dripsticks for post-sex clean-up

🌸 Boric acid suppositories after your period help rebalance microbial flora

🌸 Use a little water to rinse after you pee. You can buy a peri bottle for postpartum to make it easier

🌸 Make sure to only wash your vulva, not inside the vagina. The inside is a self-cleaning oven, and douching or even just inserting a finger with soap is bad for it. Avoid the inner, pink parts of the labia too.

🌸 Make sure there's no discharge build-up in your pubic hair

🌸 Clean well in-between the folds and under the clitoral hood so that sebum doesn't get trapped

🌸 Make sure not to scrub too hard, as it can make soap get somewhere it shouldn't or irritate a sensitive area

🌸 Use a hairdryer to dry after showering if you don't have the time to towel off till you're completely dry. It will stop you from feeling swampy and sweaty down there.

UNCATEGORISED

🌸 Keep feminine hygiene wipes, hand sanitiser, mini deodorant, mini dry shampoo, mini mouthwash, rollerball of perfume, scented hand cream, etc in your bag to freshen up during the day

🌸 It's obvious, but shower at least once a day. If you're having unusually hot weather or live in a warm climate, take a couple of quick showers throughout the day.

🌸 Use a very strong soap on your yoni, armpits, and feet, and scrub your armpits/feet very well as they retain scents.

🌸 If you sweat a lot during the night, take a light shower in the morning to get rid of the smell of stale sweat

🌸 Before your regular shower gel, use an antibacterial soap. It will kill bacteria that can make you smell bad.

🌸 Useful websites: Fragrantica, R/Perfumes, R/Fragrance, Parfumo, R/FemFragLab

🌸 Take parsley pills. It's like an internal deodorant. And fenugreek pills make you smell sweet like maple syrup

🌸 As well as on your armpits, put deodorant under your breasts as well, and anywhere else you may sweat a lot from (if you're spraying in the crease between your thighs and abdomen, make sure you have underwear on).

🌸 If you tend to sweat under your breasts a lot, you can buy cotton breast liners that absorb sweat on Amazon

🌸 If you're doing all that you can to prevent body odour but it persists, talk to your GP or dermatologist. You may need an antiperspirant stronger than what you can buy in shops, a PanOxyl wash, or even botox injections in your armpits

🌸 A tip from Marie Antoinette is to wear perfumed gloves

🌸 Don't eat too much onions, garlic, eggs, dairy, alcohol, processed foods, red meat, fast food, or vegetables like cauliflower and broccoli. The smell will seep through your skin (a little is fine, of course). And eat plenty of leafy greens.

🌸 Eat more fruit 🍎🍇🍍🍒🍓

🌸 Drink mint tea in the morning

🌸 An obvious tip, but hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Drinking more water will help you sweat less. Plus fragrance doesn't last as long on dry skin

🌸 Avoid drinking too much alcohol or smoking cigarettes

🌸 Take chlorophyll supplements

🌸 If you tend to suffer from a sweaty face, wear a waterproof mascara and keep a setting powder on you

🌸 Most important tip of all: Stay hygienic! You need a good base for any of these tips to work. Spraying perfume and applying scented lotion on an unclean body is like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound.

🌸 And of course you don't have to use all of these tips (if anything, you'll probably end up creating a toxic fume cloud instead of a beautiful scent). Just find a few that work for you and incorporate into your routine.

[thecheekyblog]

How to invest into yourself

In the past 15 years, there as been so many tools and new age techniques to change yourself. All of them more and more complex than the one before. Either it is weird diet, or wall Pilates, there will always be new ways to improve yourself.

However, i had to look back into old traditional beauty tips that have proven effective and helpful. The beauty of those tips is that most of them can be done at home at a very low cost which i love.

So here is a list of things that i do to invest in myself.

Let’s start by the physical investement.

The biggest investment i did was with my teeth. I did Invisalign and now i have a million dollar smile. I understand that teeth are expensive but if you have a chance to do so, it is a long term change that you will not regret. Also Try to go to the dentist at least once a year for a clean up.

My new smile actually even changed my face and i love it.

If you cannot do invinsalign, you can definitely ensure that your teeth are white at all times. I used white strip ( the best one is crest Hollywood white stripe ) with whiting toothpaste! Do it twice a week and within a month your smile will look amazing.

After investing in my teeth, it came time to take care of my skin.

I needed to update my skin care but honestly , with time I realize that the real trick was to be constant and have a simple routine that is easy to follow. It is important to have good product but if you are not committed to the routine there is no point into investing in pricey skincare.

You need to start by understanding what kind of skin you have and base on that RESEARCH the type of product that will work for it.

I double wash my face, than toner, serum, moisturizer than face oil. While my face still look like a glazed doughnut, I will gua sha the fuck out of my face and luvvs Gua sha keeps my skin tight and young. So do not sleep on that.

I not only take face of my face skin but also my whole entire body. I will turn my bathroom into a spa once a week and do a good hammam session to my self. I will take a warm bath for a good 20min just to make sure that the scrubbing is smooth sailing. I would use Moroccan black soap to exfoliate my body. After the exfoliation, i would be taking a warm shower and moisturized my skin with natural shea butter. If you live in Canada, you can find great one at your local Marshall with body oil.

Making sure that i look good, i started getting those cutes fits that would make me feel like that girl, invest in quality product because i now wanted the best of the best for myself. I don’t mean to break a bag but definitely not being cheap with my self. So instead of being the cheapest option, let’s say i will be looking into things that match my budget but still are good. I will take more time researching for things instead of just getting the product that was just cheap.

There will be always many option of the same things so just taking an extra sec to look into those options is you investing into yourself. You cannot be the best version of yourself by doing the same thing and buying the same thing as before. You wont change by doing the same!

Now let’s talk about investing to our mental and confidence!

It all fun and game to look good but if you do feel good about yourself. All of this will be worth nothing.

If you can afford it and if needed, talking to a professional or life coach can be life changing. Learning new skills and making yourself some goals will build your confidence so fast.

Something that really help me feel better about myself was podcast. I would listen to a shit ton of self improvement podcast and it really help me see things differently and broaden my perspective on life. READING too was game changer. So far, since the beginning of this year, i have read 4 books so far and reading my 5th right now. I never felt so smart ! But you know what i mean. Keep learning , reading , journaling , it will keep your brain sharp!

Honestly the best kind of investment you can do for yourself is to invest TIME INTO YOURSELF. Whatever you decide to do, take time doing. Make time when you do your skin care, make time when you talk to yourself, make time for your workout, shopping, hair care, body care.

Just invest time into everything you do. Every time you will try to cheat and go the easy way, you will never win. YOU ARE REBUILDING YOURSELF AND IT WILL TAKE TIME!

Invest time into your budget, finance and you will be able to reach your goals!

Believe me when i say that i am a living proof of investing time into yourself will change/better the person that you are. The more i worked on my self the more i became the woman of my dream and I know you can do it too.

Xoxo cheeky

[saturnbellfromhell]

SKINCARE TIPS part II.

Hello my lovlies, welcome back to a new post! I wanted to come back with something easy and fresh for the beginning of the colder season, since I'm guilty for not taking care of my skin in the fall as much as I am in the summer time. So I want to make a quick post about skincare once again. If you have any questions leave then bellow, I always anwser! With that being said let's get into the post shall we?

〰️ DISCLAIMER

I'm am not a certified dermatologist/cosmetologist, I highly advise to go to one if your having a hard time with your skin! With that being said, let's get into the post. 🕊

TIPS AND TRICKS

I. INTUITIVE SKINCARE

Now I know in the first post I talked about skincare cycling and how that can help to stay on track and it's also very beginner friendly to understand the process and the products that go together. But as time goes and you get into skincare you'll soon realize how good it is to monitor and understand your skin. Some days it will be very dry and patchy and some days it will be immensely oily and clogged. That's why I always recommend having two sets of skincare for different occasions. I work in an environment where my face gets dry patches after a few days, so on those nights I reach for my soothing cleanser and heavier moisturizer. If you're forgetful like me, you can also put an alarm in your calender for monitoring, this also helps me out on those busy weeks.

II. HYGIENE AROUND YOUR SKINCARE

I know many people who don't change their towels, wash cloths after a few days and I'm not saying you're dirty for that, I'm just suggesting you should try changing them everyday. I have 7 wash clothes, which I use once a day (morning and night) and I clean all of them together only with my sheets on the highest temperature. I also stopped washing them with softener, since this can lead to build up over time. If you're worried they will seem stiff, add some white vinegar, they fluff up towels real nice! I advise all my closest friends with acne prone skin to try this out or just use boxed tissues, even though this can be a little pricey and not eco friendly. Not a fan of makeup remover wipes anyway... to add on to this make sure to buy products with pumps so you don't scoop your hands into the product, even if they've been cleaned. Old skin, dust particles and such can get into the product.

III. OVER EXFOLIATING

I know you've heard people say this a million times, but is really is the case, especially if you have reactive/sensitive skin. Stop using exfoliating products more than twice a week. What this can do is a plethora of bad things. From stripping all the natural oils from your skin to dehydrating it, to making it more sensitive than it was before. Patience is the key here.

IV. RETINOL USE

When talking about patience, the first thing that pops up in my head is retinol, because o boy do you need a lot of patience for this. It can seem very intimidating at first but if you stick with simple steps the purging will not be so bad. Retinol makes skin cells turn over faster, by doing so when you start using it, it will push out more dirt than usual. This is the reason people stop using it. They payed so much for this product and now they have to look at a million blemishes popping out of nowhere. Our skin doesn't like big changes and retinol is a big shock to our skin from the start. So I advise in the beginning doing it once a week. I used to have retinol Sundays and yes I did purge, but not so much I had to stop. A pimple or two a week I would say, and with that I would just put pimple patches on them and it would resolve the issue.

Rules for retinol:

1. Never use retinol in the morning, it degrades in the sun. So you're throwing your money down the drain.

2. Don't mix it with vitamin C, salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide. Yes you can have a skin day where you exfoliate with salicylic acid, but than have a recovery day after. In the same day, I wouldn't recommend it for the majority of people.

3. Never use more than a pea sized amount for a long period of time. Your skin needs to get used to the dosage.

4. I know the "sandwich" method is really popular right now with retinols, but I advise the old fashioned route. Sandwithing is putting a moisturizer before and after a retinol. I like to use a heavy moisturizer after the retinol and that's it. Even if you have acne prone skin, a heavier cream is necessary beacuse retinols dry out skin.

5. Don't apply to damp skin. Even though it may seem like a logical step, it does more damage than good. When applying a retinol to damp skin it penetrates deeper. So this can be quite irritating for your skin.

6. Don't forget the neck area and also your hands!

7. In the beginning do it only once a week and than after a month/two crank it up to twice a week. Really monitor your skin when cranking up the volume of retinol to see if you need to still hold back. Please please please dont rush this step. It's better to hold back a week or two than rushing.

8. Invest in a good sunscreen after getting into retinol and apply it every morning, reapplying every 2-3 hours when doing outdoor activities. If you work only indoor apply in the morning and the moment you exit your work place...that'll do it.

V. SUNSCREEN

For the longest time I didn't invest in some sort of good sunscreen, I have no idea why to be honest with. I guess I was just lazy to be honest. Sunscreen is the most important item to have in your skincare bag. All this money can be spent on creams, toners, moisturizers, retinols and so on...but it means nothing when you don't have UV protection for your skin.

VI. MORE IS MORE

Many think if they have an oily face that they can moisterize less or even not at all. The trick is to find a cream/moisturizer that is not heavy or that clogs your pores. Most of the time you will damage and cause even more blackheads/whiteheads if you don't moisturize because your skin will increase your sebum production. More is more, try out toners as well for amazing hydration!

Also be sure to know that there are 2 types of sunscreen: chemical and mineral.

🖤 Chemical Suncscreens absorb UV rays, acting like a sponge. It's better for oily/acne prone skin because they are lighter than mineral one's. With this being said if you break out easily, you can also try chemical sunscreens. Chemical sunscreens have ingredients like OXYBENZONE, AVOBENZONE and OCTOCRYLENE.

🖤 Minereal Sunscreens reflect UV rays of the skin, they are more suited for babies, sensitive skin and also pregnant women! The ingredients that are in minereal sunscreens are ZINC OXIDE AND TITANIUM DIOXIDE.

IV. BEGINNER ROUTINES

I struggled with this a lot, not even going to lie. When the whole world is just throwing so many products at your face and you just don't know where to begin. What chemicals go together, what is better in the day time, what products should you spurge on etc... I had many problems in the beginning because I was introducing so much to my skin. So I'm going to give a few examples for a beginner skincare routine with some of my favorite products so you don't need to struggle. Also I go by the this too when I'm feeling lazy and don't want to put 10 products on my face.

🖤MORNING

For daytime I recommend just the simple cleanse, moisturize and spf. On to this later you can add hydrating toners, vitamin C, an essence like snail mucin, hyaluronic acid, niacinamide. All of these products can go together!

🖤 NIGHT

Double cleansing in my opinion is a must, even if you have sensitive skin. Start of with an oil based cleanser on DRY skin, message for a minute, rise and than apply a normal cleanser, massage for a minute and rinse again. The oil pulls out gunk from the pores. After that make sure your face is dry and than apply your started retinol followed up with a heavier moisturiser. To this routine later you can also add eyes creams, again essence/and or toners and spot treatments for acne/dark spots.

🖤EXFOLIATION

Even sensitive skin needs exfoliation at less once a week, but be careful to really keep this routine simple. Again double cleanse, only this time the first cleanser is an oil based and the second is a salicylic based cleanser. Follow that up with a very soothing cream. For deeper exfoliation later you can look into exfoliation masks (the ordinary has one with salicylic acid) or a clay mask. Or my personal fave on exfoliation night is aloe vera gel and snail mucin. Glycolic acid and lactic acid are also an exfoliating product.

Hope you enjoyed the post!

xoxo NK

[howlingday]

Weiss: According to the data, the average person consumes between 74,000-121,000 particles of plastic per year, a majority of which comes from cosmetic products, like toothpaste and exfoliating scrubbers.

Weiss: You hear that, Xiao Long?! You don't need your fancy face-wash!

Yang: Uh, excuse you? This is ALL natural~!

Weiss: Then who keeps buying all the...

Weiss: Penny? Penny, are you using my credit card again?

Weiss: I told you it was only for V-bucks!

Weiss: ...I don't care how smooth your skin is now! Your skin is synthet- I MEAN... Uh... You- You don't need it!

Weiss: CURSE SYNTHETIC CHILDREN AND THEIR LUST FOR V-BUCKS!

[s0fthunny]

my pretty bimbo must haves🎀🧁

dior lip color reviver balm! my fav colors are lilac, raspberry, and coral!

milani fruit fetish lip oil and lip balm!! they’re so hydrating and leave the prettiest and lightest tint on your lips!

tatcha deep cleanse!! (really want to try the rice wash also!)

chanel la mousse, dior off/on cleansers! these are so amazing for double cleansing

clinique take the day away cleansing balm

naturium oil cleanser

neutrogena eye makeup remover

first aid beauty ultra repair cream! so good for my skin during every season

lush bubblegum lip scrub

tree hut lip scrub

tree hut strawberry exfoliator

Victoria’s secret pink mimosa, juicy melon, and kiwi blush lipgloss

too faced lip injection and maximum plump lip injection lip glosses!! my fav shades are stars are aligned, pretty pony, creamsickle tickle, yummy bear, and cotton candy kisses!

Laneige lip sleeping mask and lip glowy balms!

strawberry poundcake diamond shimmer mist!!

Jergens natural glow lotion and l’oréal sublime bronze for a more even skin tone!!

Palmers moisturizing body oil! i use this every single day mixed with my lotion and my skin is literally as soft as a cloud

neutrogena clear face spf 50!! my all time favorites sunscreen i’m always restocking!

kiss edge fixer in strawberry açaí for my baby hairs!!

Cosrx snail mucin!!

Good molecules glycolic acid toner!! This has done wonders for my skin and any discoloration i have on my body!!

Mielle organics pomegranate and honey leave in conditioner!! I have very thick 3c hair and this does an amazing job of keeping it moisturized!

Tgin rose water curl refresher

these are my daily must haves that i use to be my most pretty and ultimate dolly self i can be!!

[makoodles]

I wonder how your Na’vi mate would react to you popping your pimples???

this absolutely cracked me up ahahahaha i have absolutely no words, i'm so obsessed with you guys

but if you want a SERIOUS answer

i feel like your Na'vi mate is down right fascinated by your bathroom routine. every day, morning and night, they'll eagerly crowd around you just to watch you either prepare for the day or for bed.

even better if they manage to crowd in around you in the bathroom at the human outpost. they've never seen such an array of brightly coloured lotions and gels and creams and products. it's fascinating to them.

they like to watch you wash your face, exfoliate, moisturise. they watch you pluck your eyebrows, they watch you pick at your pimples, they watch you examine your reflection critically. they have no idea what you're looking for, but they just love watching your routine - even better, they love being part of your routine.

the navi don't really have mirrors - other than their hygiene and their traditional decorations, they're not overly concerned about physical appearance all that much. as such, they'll be a little bewildered by your concern for how you look. they might even get a little frustrated if you pick at your pimples until they bleed, assuming that you're injuring yourself. it's confusing to them, especially when you continue peering critically at your skin even after they've assured you that you're beautiful. why are you so concerned over something so superficial?

after bathing, they'll insist on helping you rub your body lotion in. they don't love the artificial scent of it, but they love any excuse to get their hands on you. they argue that their hands are bigger than yours, that they'll get the lotion rubbed in much faster than if you were to do it yourself. that is, naturally, a lie. their hands linger on your bare skin, enjoying the skin to skin contact as they massage at you. it's intimate, which means that even though they may not fully understand it, they simply adore your bathroom routines.

[whitegoldtower]

Thalmor Cuddle Reactions:

Ancano: His reaction depends on how many people are watching. If there’s a lot of people around, he will stand there extremely rigidly and uncomfortably and will just wait for you to let go. If nobody is around though? If you know him well enough? He will hold onto you tightly. No space for Jesus in this cuddle. He presses himself against you fully. You can feel the warmth of his skin through his clothes, the warmth of his hands in those gloves. He wants to be touched, to be loved, to be held as close as humanly achievable. Provided that nobody is looking at him. Despite fully being a man who likes to bottom, he can and will press you up against the wall. He can’t lift you up, though, unfortunately. He’s Intelligence 100 - Strength 0. Also, he purrs v quietly, barely audibly but it’s there. Mainly, he smells of tea, and the sharp scent of snowberries clings to his lips, alongside an oddly comforting scent of smoke. The smoke occasionally sticks to his clothes, accompanying the smell of cold weather and the faintest hint of his natural musk. He is cleanly shaven, his skin is soft and smooth, and by the gods, he’s beautiful. His hair can be a little oily at times - either from being depressed or adding it himself so that he can slick it back, but it doesn’t smell bad at all, and once his hair is washed, as expected (because he is literally perfect, pardon my simp) it is delightfully silky.

Ondolemar: Hugs in a very stiff military manner until you break him in. Until you show him what he’s forgotten how to do. Once you get there, let him feel secure. Wrap your arms and your legs around him (he’s a big fan of a good ol’ leg wrap). He will press his face against your face/shoulder depending on how tall you are. I think he also prefers to sit down or lay down to cuddle rather than standing because sitting/laying allows him to do more with his height. Just don’t try to hug him when he’s busy - he doesn’t appreciate having his attention drawn in more than one direction. Wait until he’s off duty, then snatch him up. Dude purrs like a jet engine. He also smells very clean and pristine - the cotton of his robes smells so fresh, you know that he has them washed very regularly. You can also smell something sharply citrusy and herbal at his throat and behind his ears, and its clear that he washes the fuzz on his head with the classic combination of lemons, stout and egg whites. The eggs take away the grease, and the beer exfoliates and adds shine, whilst the lemon further enhances the overall effect. You feel that fuzz against your cheek, and it’s wonderfully soft and clean.

Elenwen: Sometimes it feels a little fake and rehearsed (if she laughs and pats your shoulder with those polished fingertips, then she’s not being sincere), but she’s not averted to cuddles at all, surprisingly, and she will absolutely drape herself over you indulgently like a housecat. She will also ‘fix’ your hair (it will seem like she’s being insulting but she just doesn’t want you to look like a mess - after all, she’d be mortified if she looked messy). She can also be incredibly seductive and will purr quietly in your ears. If you’re an altmer or a bosmer, she will likely tell you what a fine specimen you are. She smells expensive. You’re not sure what, exactly, she smells of, only that it must have cost a lot of money. You catch notes of rose, of oud, of sensual florals and warm woods. Perhaps even some white musk. Or is it lillies?

[persephonessecrets]

How to Look Good Without Makeup ✨

1. Skincare is Key

Cleanse & Moisturize: Wash your face twice a day and keep your skin hydrated with a good moisturizer. Glowing skin = confidence boost!

Exfoliate: Gently exfoliate 1-2 times a week to remove dead skin cells and reveal fresh, radiant skin.

Sunscreen, Always: Protect your skin from sun damage by using SPF daily, even when it’s cloudy. Trust me, future you will thank you!

2. Hydration & Diet

Drink Water: Hydration is your best friend for glowing skin. Aim for 8 glasses of water a day to keep your skin looking plump and fresh.

Eat the Rainbow: Include fruits, veggies, and healthy fats (hello, avocado!) in your diet to nourish your skin from the inside out. A healthy diet = healthy skin.

3. Grooming Essentials

Brows on Point: Keep your eyebrows groomed and shaped to frame your face. A neat brow makes all the difference.

Hair Care: Healthy, shiny hair is an instant confidence booster. Regular trims and using hair oils or serums can help keep it looking polished.

Lip Care: Soft, hydrated lips are key. Exfoliate them and keep a moisturizing lip balm handy for a natural glow.

4. Healthy Lifestyle Vibes

Beauty Sleep: 7-8 hours of sleep does wonders for your skin. Goodbye, dark circles!

Move Your Body: Exercise boosts circulation and gives you that natural glow. Plus, it’s great for your mood!

Stress Less: Practice self-care and mindfulness to keep stress levels down. Calm mind = calm, happy skin.

5. Natural Enhancements

Lash Love: Curl your lashes to open up your eyes without needing mascara. You can even use a lash serum to enhance them over time.

Natural Glow: Use a face oil or serum on your cheekbones for a dewy, highlighted look—no makeup needed!

Bright Smile: Brush, floss, and keep that smile bright. A healthy smile adds instant polish.

6. Clothing & Posture

Dress Neatly: Simple, well-fitted clothes in colors that flatter you can make a big impact. Bonus points for feeling comfy AND stylish!

Good Posture: Stand tall and confident. Good posture makes you look and feel more put together.

7. Confidence is Everything

Smile: A genuine smile can make you look and feel radiant. Confidence is the best accessory you can wear!

Positive Vibes: Embrace your natural beauty and let your personality shine. When you feel good inside, it shows on the outside.