#All in all these are pretty mild... a lot of sad stuff but i like sad songs. Theyre free catharsis

[spearxwind]

Ouhhh I got tagged in a Put My "On Repeat" Playlist On Shuffle & Post 10 Songs That Come Up tag game by my pal @excaive time for tunes and putting my ass on blast

I've linked yt videos for every song, but some of the vids have flashing so I have also included warnings where necessary!

Onto the list let's goooo:

1.La partida - LUNA KI // wow.... starting off real strong 😭 lunka ki's music is a guilty pleasure of mine, i love dancing to it when im alone in the house. It's rly fun

2. Made to be broken - H.E.R.O ⚠ HUGE FLASHING TW FOR THE VIDEO!!! there are no yt alternates for this T^T here is the spotify link for this song if you are photosensitive ⚠ // It slaps <3 I have three songs from this album in my repeat playlist and theyve been there. Since january.

3. Voices - ALESTI, Loveless ⚠ Mild flashing for this one ⚠ // TALAS SONG TALAS SONG!!!! This tune rips hard and im obsessed and also the album cover is pink and blue god bless

4. Cynical - H.E.R.O // ANOTHER song from these guys. This one slaps hard too. "Show me my heartbreaks, run, repeat my mistakes"

5. Emotion Sickness - said the sky, will anderson, parachute // I love this tune sm and also its a CF song. I'm normal <3

6. Love me like my demons do - FALSET // Swag tune, I love the high pitch lyrics a lot

7. Without me - Dayseeker // Ough Dayseeker my beloved... they are one of my fave bands. Rory is my fave singer I think. All their songs are certified Coping songs but they also slap hard, without me is in my griefcore playlists. This one also starts soft and then kicks in HARD

8. Nigredo - The Sidh // It's techno and bagpipes, what's not to love. Also the title means alchemical decay which I think is dope as fuck. This whole album rules too I recommend it.

9. By the sound - Caskets // Some of the lyrics for this one literally make zero sense but also some other lyrics hit like a fucking truck there's no in between. "When you wake up, don't waste your heart in mourning me" kills me

10. Dreamstate - Dayseeker // Another dayseeker song that destroys me <3 "And maybe when the night comes I'll find you in another world" also kills me

Bonus song!! my current most looped song:

Back to you - ILLENIUM, All time Low // I literally keep listening to this song so much. Like I cant stop listening to it. I would like to make an art... comic thing for it eventually because it has a lot of personal meaning to me but I'm not sure when I will be able to do it. But man its good!! It's good!! All of the lyrics got me fucked up man

Andn tagging uhhh whoever wants to do it honestly. You specifically reading this. Give me your swag tunes 👆🎼NOW! (if you'd like to)

[sexlapis]

[◉°] … toji & y/n being a couple for 10 minutes straight pt.3

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ｡˚ 𓂋 ❄﹒✦﹒✿ ˚

꩜ actor!toji x actress!reader

⤷ synopsis : just toji & reader being idiots in luv…

꩜ content : crazy fans, very mild physical violence (toji pushing ppl lol), toji being a little ooc again. this is really not as wack as the warnings are making it sound.

- a/n : loads of people seem to be enjoying this & i enjoy making them, so here you go! :D

. . . part 1, part 2, part 4

masterlists

౨ৎ first clip

(recorded by your fansite) - you & toji are at the airport and it is packed. there are fans swarming you, practically suffocating you & toji, along with paparazzi taking pictures of you, flashing lights in your face. your bodyguards are literally at war trying to guard you and you have to cling onto toji’s arm to even get past the sea of people.

all of a sudden one fan somehow gets way too close, and grabs a hold of your shirt, trying to drag you towards him. you jerk forward and without even hesitating, toji just grabs the face of the crazy fan and pushes him away like it’s nothing, causing a domino effect having other fans falling over as well.

toji puts an arm around you and guides you to check your tickets, ignoring all the chaos he caused behind him.

(this got a lot of mixed reactions, some people siding with toji saying he was just protecting you & others criticising him for his rash actions that could’ve caused people to get injured 💀)

౨ৎ second clip

you & toji were doing a video for WIRED, taking part in their popular series, “Web’s Most Searched Questions” about yourselves.

“okay third question..” you say, and peel off the paper. “are _____ and toji..dating?”

you & toji look at the camera and then at each other, faces hot and you’re both awkwardly smiling before looking at the camera again. you & toji speak. “yeah, i dunno.” “nooo idea.” “literally no clue whatsoever.” “why even ask that like-like we’d know the answer?”

you peel the next question and it’s even worse. “are _____ and toji having- A BABY?!” you shout and cover your face laughing, both in shock and amusement. “what?!”

toji just facepalms, hiding his pink cheeks and sighs tiredly. “christ…”

౨ৎ third clip

you’re at a press conference for the series you and toji are in, all the cast members are gathered on a long table with microphones but it’s a pretty informal gathering and the fans are being very interactive with the cast!

a crew members hands the microphone to a fan who has a question. “hi! hi, i’m sarah and uhm..i have a question for toji. and _____ too! do you think that your characters have a chance of..like..getting together? like romantically-?”

“yeah we’re getting together,” toji responds bluntly, reeling in the loud cheers from the crowd & he decides to add fuel to the fire. “and we’re gonna have a make-out scene too.”

the audiences goes crazy with applause and whistles, while you pinch the bridge of your nose, shaking your head in embarrassment as the cast look to see your reaction.

then the director of the show pitches in, holding her finger up. “just to clarify, we did not discuss this..”

there’s a chorus of laughs and sad ‘awws’ among the pool of fans which only makes you giggle. you didn’t even know what to say to toji’s brashness.

gojo chimes in with his loud mouth while everyone is still buzzing from toji’s unexpected words. “talking about kisses and stuff like. this guy’s just saying what he wants to hear!”

everyone starts creasing up again and you & toji lean your heads to look at each other on opposing ends of the table, and he just smirks at you while you just shake your head and try not to look so obvious..

౨ৎ fourth clip

vogue did a video with you getting ready for a fashion show you were invited to, by the designer herself.

the makeup artists had just finished your shimmery, fairy-like makeup and now the stylists were accessorising you with jewellery and fixing your hair.

“yeah i really like how the hair is done,” you say, referring to the baby pink ribbon tied cutely around your bun. “it’s really cute! and the dress is just so-”

the door to the dressing room opens and toji pokes his head in, the camera zooming in on him. “‘ya done yet?”

“toji?” you ask, exasperated. “toji get out! we’re not finished yet..”

toji looks you up and down in confusion. “ya look done to me. we gotta leave in like-”

“toji i am clearly not finished. we have to go through which jewellery looks the best with the neckline of the dress and..my whole look altogether so it doesn’t drown me out! and then we have to pick the correct shoes and make sure i’m comfortable with them and that they look pretty but also don’t take attention away from the dress. and then for the perfume-”

“yeah, yeah, alright, i get it.” toji totes. “but we have to be there in 30 minutes so-”

“oh toji’.” you sigh, looking in the mirror while the stylist fuss around you. “it’s okay if we’re late. i’m the main event. the designer invented me personally. they won’t even start the show if i’m not there. it’ll be fine, trust me.”

toji looks at you for a moment and then simply shrugs, nodding and accepting your words.

౨ৎ fifth clip

“so yeah, this is the book i’m reading.” you hold up ‘pride & prejudice’ to the camera for your fans to see. you were on a livestream, which you don’t usually do, and many fans were watching. “i just love this book. the characters are-”

loud, thudding footsteps can be heard in the background and you pause. a deep, clearly a man’s voice can be heard and then a shirtless toji walks into frame (as identified by his tattoos bc his face is not on camera). he reaches out of frame.

“sorry, jus’ forgot my shirt.”

he puts his shirt on, not even realising what he just did in front of 50,000 people and walks out of the room

it all happened so fast, you sit with your jaw open like a fish, holding your now forgotten book in your hand while the chat goes wild, spamming questions of “who is that?” “is that toji?” “you and toji are together?” in a frantic, chaotic fashion.

you just look at the camera and reach forward, abruptly ending the live. fans did not stop talking about this moment for months and they most certainly did not believe you when you said toji was just at your house for a little ‘visit’.

౨ৎ

tag list: @tiredslepz | @hayatslife | @shxyxyxxxx | @snowprincesa1 | @laylasbunbunny | @mimiemie

a/n: yk how hard it is to think of ideas for this omg 😭💔

[writingoddess1125]

You Give them Face Mask! 🧼

Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, Usopp, Buggy, Mihawk

Fluffy Fluff

Just felt like more Fluff Fluff rn 😌 Enjoy!

Luffy

Trying to get this man into a face mask is like trying to wash a puppy- A happy struggle and pain in the ass.

"Luffy please" You say with a sad eyes- He will fold after this and let you. However he doesn't sit still so you use a sheet mask that simply helps with oily skin.

"This smells nice" He will say as you have to bribe him with snacks to keep it on for 15 minutes.

"It's rose scented" You say and wear one yourself to keep him still with some gummy candies. Will have trouble sitting still and will start chatting and walking in circles as he waits.

Once it's over he rubs his shiny face and talks about how squeaky he sounds. Utterly destroying your work-

Sanji

Sanji is more then willing to indulge you. Picking out some mild scents and you do a peel off mask since he has deep pores.

"Wanna do the charcoal mask?" You offer which he accepts after finding the scent pleasant enough.

"Do people do these often?" He will flirt and talk about the curiosities in your self care. Once the mask is done he will complain about the tightness.

"That means it's ready to peel!!"

"AHHH! OW!!?" He yelps in surprise as you pull the mask off his face. His face bright red and raw from this so you add some water based moisturizer to his face. You show him the mask.

"That was in my face!?"

Will both be disgusted and fascinated by the amount of gunk pulled from his skin.

Zoro

His skin is fairly flawless which is honestly frustrating since he cares so little for his skin.

You offer the face mask anyway and he refuses for a while bit does eventually fold. You use a snail slime mask on him since it will keep him skin looking flawless.

"This smells funny..." He grumbles as he will lay there listening to you talk, Half asleep and waiting. Will open his eye occasionally and ask a few questions about your interest in this stuff.

You wipe it off and help him rince his face. Skin is pretty much glowing at this point and You stare in awe. "So pretty!"

"I'm going to go train now-" You scream at him in protest in trying to ruin his pretty face.

Usopp

Usopp is willing of course, since the ocean air drys his skin quite a lot. So you use a shea butter face mask and tap his skin with your fingers to help it soak in his rough skin.

"You know I once got a spa treatment from Mermaids like this-' He will spin his tales as You work. When you do rince off the mask you add some nice skin oils afterwards to his skin.

You rub a lot of oil in his skin and he will pause his stories as he judt enjoys the time. Will smell the jar you're using and a softness will run over his face in fondness.

"This smells like the stuff my mother used to use-" He will say with a smile. His skin looks shiny and golden by the time your done, making him look sexy- in his own words.

Will come back regularly to have you treat his skin and will even talk about stories with his mother from time to time.

Buggy

Grease paint wrecks havoc on one's skin Buggys especially since he wears it so much. Needs some detoxing clay mask then a aloe moisture one to replenish. If you're doing his face might as well deep condition his hair as well.

He does enjoy the attention and doing them since his face feels better. Secretly he actually has acne marks from his youth and some scars from before he ate a devil fruit.

"What was this one from?" You ask pointing to a light scar on his cheek.

"Hmm 10- Me and Shanks were trying to figure out blades better. Let's say I learned knives can bounce back at you-" He says amused and letting you work.

"The skin around your nose is dry" Buggy will frown, thinking you're about to insult him since even though he trust you the most his insecurities will win- till you carefully paint the mask on those areas and smile proudly.

"There we go, all better" You say and kiss his hand to go apply your own.

Will sit and listen to you read outloud or talk with him about show ideas as he lays there with the face mask.

"Can we do this every night?"

Mihawk

"No-" He will protest, his eyes narrowing as you offer the mask to him. However after enough begging and ever Perona joining in at pestering him he will fold.

Mihawk gets treated to a full spa day when this happens- A hydrating honey facemask on his skin, cucumbers on his eyes and even a hair mask in his hair to make it softer.

Perona is overjoyed as well as she cleans his nails and applies clear polish to make them shiny and nice! Grumbles the whole time silently and ends up Downing a bottle of wine.

"Do not get used to this-" He grumbles as he takes his wine and drinks from it as you and Perona work. He kinda looks like a spa mom-

Once done this man looks runway ready- His hair is much softer so sets lower, his skin flawless and even his beard looks nicer. Stares at you and Perona deadpanned and sighs-

"Thank you both for the nice gesture..."

[coldercreation]

Life update (GOOD)<3

Heyy all! Just quickly dropping in with a lil note because I feel like I’ve been less focused on the writing-front as of recent, and more inactive here in general :’)

Thank you to everyone who’s been commenting on my writing and/or left me messages and prompts this year and recently, I absolutely adore you all. I have started many a draft based on the prompts I’ve gotten, and there’s plenty more I still want to get to. Thank you for sharing your ideas with me, they genuinely help me with motivation and writing (even though I haven’t managed to finish anything substantial in a while…)

I always say it but I really just appreciate you all a lot<3

As to why I have been more inactive responding or writing/updating in general, well…

Life has just been really, really good lately? Consistently. All the time.

I’m starting to tentatively trust that the worst is well over with my health stuff/treatment, and I’m feeling so much better compared to where I started that it baffles me daily?? I kinda feel like I have a new brain - and a new life. As in, I feel fully Alive for the first time since I was a kid, pretty much.

I have so much energy. / I just go and do things now. / I might actually be an extrovert??? (I’m having a culture shock rediscovering my own damn post-chronic health issue personality lol) / Anxiety and depression, who are they? Turns out I can feel a healthy amount of sad or upset, and it’s not all consuming. / I feel anger now! And it's great lmao! / Even bad days feel like decent days compared to my past days / I have always been interested in other people, but now I have the energy to show it better and engage, without burning out before I even open my yapper. / I feel like I’m connecting with people so much easier and better, and I’m having such a good time!!! / I’m actively trying to come up with new things to do with all the time and energy I now have. I’m still figuring this one out, because yeah, it’s a culture shock, after spending my whole adult life actively avoiding things just because I didn’t have the energy for anything (Tell me your hobbies and interests!! Indoor-outdoor-solo-social??) / I feel grounded in my own body and feel present / I finally feel a sense of ‘Future’ and I'm able look forward to things, instead of being in a constant survival mode and feeling stuck in it. / I’ve started to truly FEEL things, not just think things. I’ve started to want things. And not want things. And like things. And dislike things. Anything but the mild-indifference I am/was used to. / I can get through a work day without falling a sleep. Hell, I did a 13 hour shift the other week and still had the want and the energy to go for a run, after?! I felt possessed and a bit feral with power that day lmao! / AND SO MUCH MORE and BETTER and AAAAAAA 

I tear up regularly because I suddenly out of nowhere realise ‘wow, what the fuck, I feel so great??’

I really thought ‘better’ wasn’t in the cards for me after living literal decades feeling ‘not-good-at-all’. 

But mann, I think this is already better than the better I thought I’d never get to feel xx

[jazeswhbhaven]

From what I've been seeing it feels like PB is focusing on quantity over quality. Things like Obey Me, TWST, and Nu-Carnival has a sizeable group of characters, but they're not too huge so it allows them to flesh each one out to a certain extent, but then they can introduce a diverse set of cards on each of them so you're not starving too much.

WHB has not only has 6 Kings and one more on the way, but they also keep introducing more nobles and angels. In a way it's not bad, but this is why I seriously feel it is a case of quantity and not enough quality. From what I've seen in this community, characters that have been in the game since Day 1 are being super neglected. Then we a have every new L card released being paywalled, nightmare passes that also have the top rewards paywalled, are more frequent, even this time around the S+ card requires more gold keys and it doesn't have anything remotely special about it whereas the last S+ did which was extremely exclusive only. Honestly it's...really sad. Now you don't NEED these cards and I'm not asking for freebies, but in the end they are asking for your life savings for even just the decent stuff, and then you still have to deal with the gacha to do that.

I personally need a decent amount of characterization to really appreciate a character so I do appreciate the world building but no character has stuck with me yet. So everytime a new one is released I go: "Okay but what about like...the existing ones?" Our last one was Leraye, which I'm sorry, it's just a reskinned of his OG card and I found that really scummy which was probably why he was locked through achievements which...was the saving grace still it was the only time it happened. The story was nice though.

I don't want to come off as ungrateful and I probably am, but I just don't understand PB's decisions on what they're doing anymore. We can't use the "they're a small company" card, I'm sure they're not the only small company, but I don't have any sources, but so far this is the first time I seen company really just throw their community into a blender like this...then again I only played like 3 other gachas which isn't a lot.

💭

hey there 💭 anon!

This observation came right in time with how I'd like to pretty much introduce the game to new players that are flocking in.

PB's decisions as of late to change how we get currencies, paid banners, and the progression of the main story and character building has been a damn journey.

I don't think you're ungrateful, I wouldn't call anyone that honestly because as the consumer YOU are the the one, p2p or f2p, in the end that has be entertained by this nsfw game. The only one in existence that is catered to both women and men audiences. With that in mind, you'd expect to see something worth buying/taking up nearly 8gb of space on your phone for.

When the game was first teased, me and my friend were talking about it and she was overwhelmed by the amount of characters they kept showing, I met her through the Obey Me fandom, so that was our bread and butter for the majority of conversations. When I moved on to WHB, she didn't come with, she stayed for like maybe a week or two and dropped it. I forget mostly why which I could ask her again on her opinion.

But I'll let you in on something I saw the other day, the community over in LaDS has been having some issues with their banners/other gacha related things as well stating that this recent banner is driving players away. I don't play LaDS but PB isn't the only company it seems starting to switch things up when it comes to decisions.

The S+ cards confuse me because what they introduced was hey here's beach Rara (Raphael) and he has an adore mode, a story with mild spice, and you chats/more lore about this bitey boi. I had so much fun reading through that. Amy and Sitri's all we get are the likability things and well from the previous expectation? That made me shake my head. (also for the extra gold keys thing, apparently it's only that high if you want to get it early, the card is going into the banner immediately after the event so in theory we all literally could have waited to pull them so we wouldn't have to spend that amount of gold keys)

As far as content goes, I think ultimately there's too many characters to work with. If anyone on the staff has a brain like me, it would be very easy to neglect characters here and there. I also do not like that Gehenna has yet ANOTHER noble (sorry Amy) but other countries are lackin'.

Also unrelated...WHERE IS GEHENNA'S GROUP PHOTO U G H.

Niflheim needs one too.

All in all I hear you. Chapter 6 and Mammons/Amy's events though have me believing that the best has yet to come, these banners though....we will see... Maybe things will pop off when Asmodeus debuts..

[canonizzyhours]

can we all admit now that pretty much everybody, including the canyon, would have been happier with izzy getting worse and going full villain instead of the redemption arc?

i mean i know lots of people thought they wanted izzy redeemed. but the price of the redemption arc was, first, he would obviously have to die as soon as it was over, because there was no narrative purpose he could fulfill once he'd become a good guy (since that meant discarding basically every personality trait he had other than saying twat all the time), and no reasonable way for him to leave the narrative other than by dying. and the redemption arc also meant sort of glossing over the stuff that motivated him to be a bad guy in s1, rather than digging into it and learning more about him; it all had to be just sort of gotten out of the way as quickly as possible early in the season so he could spend the rest of it doing drag shows etc to prove how much he was a good guy now so his death could be sad. that's especially true for his obsession with ed and his hatred of stede, it all had to be replaced by mild boring friendliness. the opposite of love is not hate but apathy and apathy from izzy toward both ed and stede is what we got.

if he'd gotten worse though? that necessarily would have meant delving more into his psychosexual obsession with ed, which would have given material to the blackhands shippers. and it would have necessarily meant izzy having really intense emotions toward stede too, emotions that would be easy to interpret as erotic love/hate. if the show had gone that direction there would have been real material for the steddyhands shippers to work with, at least on a subtextual level, which is the closest we ever had any chance to get to steddyhands actually being canon. and all of this would have meant digging into izzy's actual motivations and learning why he's like that, in exactly the way we didn't do in the season two we actually got.

i understand why they gave izzy the arc they gave him. izzy's always been there fundamentally to support ed's arc, and having him let go and apologize on his deathbed perfectly served the arc ed had going on this season. but as far as what would be satisfying as an arc for izzy himself, having him get worse would have been more fun for everybody, even and maybe especially the canyon.

#183.

[thislovintime]

1968.

“‘Actually, I wanted to leave the group over two years ago when the first season ended, but the guys convinced me not to. I didn’t care about all the things that were happening, all the acclaim. I hated the work! It was tough, and I didn’t like it. I just wanted to record for all my life. Also, the pressure was awful. We were working in an incredibly new environment. Half of the crew on the show was young and had very little experience at that level of work. Many of them were getting their first big break. Actually, after the TV show was canceled it was easier for me to leave. Doing the TV show was the worst. Then came the movie, and I couldn’t forego the movie, so I did it. You know, there were moments here and there — lots of good, funny stuff happening throughout — but the only time that I was really happy was when we were recording the ‘Headquarters’ album. The concerts were fun, but during the concert tours you are removed from your friends except for the guys. And even when we did take a few friends along it was only a mild relief. This last tour of Australia and Japan wasn’t fun because I felt hideously under-rehearsed. I was constantly pushing for rehearsals, and they were constantly saying well, like later. We couldn’t get together. Also, we didn’t play any new music this last concert tour. It was all old tunes, nothing from our newer albums, and it was a bore. But I think they suspected I was leaving anyway. For me, a lot of the pressure was off. When I felt a part of the group every time someone said something that jarred my sensibilities, I’d raise a huge ruckus and everybody thought I was out of my mind. While we were making the TV Special, knowing I was not going to be there any longer, I just thought to myself — I don’t have to worry about this thing — and I just let everything slide off my back. They must have though something was screwy. Then I finally told them, ‘Gentlemen I’m in negotiations to resign from the group.’ And they said, ‘Okay, well, there’s not much time, we’d better get to work on this Special.’ So we taped the thing and that’s the last I saw of them. The last day of the taping they gave me this little testimonial memorial watch.’ From his pocket Peter drew out a silver, antique-looking timepiece with the back side engraved, ‘To Peter Tork, from the guys down at work.’ ‘I’m free, I don’t know what I’ll be doing. I’m actually a little apprehensive, because there’s no doubt that there are three other incredibly talented fellows out there. They’re very talented guys. Mike is one of the funniest people I’ve ever known. Micky is even funnier and Davy is just cute as a button. Who could ask for anything more? Davy dances so great, did you see him dance in the film? I’ve not seen dancing like that on the screen except from Fred Astaire. The only other thing is that I’m both really relieved and really, really apprehensive. I’m terribly glad and also terribly sad.’” - NME, January 25, 1969

“Peter and I were the bulk of the playing ability because we were musicians. But when Peter left it rather unnerved Davy and Micky — and I changed my mind [about leaving]. After all, the personal appearances were pretty well satisfying, the music was fun, and the whole thing was fairly lucrative. And Davy and Micky left alone would have been in real trouble.” - Michael Nesmith, Disc and Music Echo, September 19, 1970

"In a telephone interview this week, Tork explained why he left the group in 1968, three years after it was formed. ‘Musicians were being auditioned in an effort to create the Monkees, and the purpose was to reap money,’ he said. ‘But for our first two albums, studio musicians were hired to do the instrumentals and we just did the lead singing. I didn’t want that.’ Tork convinced the other three members, Davy Jones, [Micky] Dolenz and Mike Nesmith, to do the third album themselves. ‘But I couldn’t get the guys to go for that again, so the fourth album was half and half,’ he said. Critics had frowned on the Monkees for this. ‘Every single malcontent felt he had the right to tell me what was wrong with the situation. I took the critics to heart,’ Tork said. ‘When I talked to the guys about it, they told me if I want more I should get my own act.’ Tork describes his current relationship with Jones, Dolenz and Nesmith as ‘cordial.’ ‘I learned to put all my bitterness behind me,’ he said. ‘I hear about them through the grapevine, but we have no real call to talk to each other, although, I had a brief lunch with Davy Jones in Japan recently.’ When Tork joined the Monkees in October 1965, he was 23 years old and inexperienced in handling fame and fortune. ‘There’s a lot of things involved with money and recognition, and the price was much higher than I expected,’ he said. ‘There’s an isolating pressure that goes along with success. I couldn’t handle it.’" - article by Lisa Stenza, Connecticut Daily Campus, February 26, 1982 (read more in an older post)

[therandomfandomme]

Biking is accessible movement

Biking is a very accessible mode of transportation and way to exercise, however I think a lot of people don't know that, since there are a lot of countries, who don't have the right infrastructure (which is sad). So, this post is me showing y'all how biking is very accessible.

I am writing this from the perspective of someone with mild chronic pain, so I don't know the ins and outs, I have just seen all these bikes around on the streets, because here in the Netherlands they are very prevelant. I do want to say that biking is far easier on my joints than walking, except the knees, even with my unmodified bike.

An accessability feature that is not the bike itself, but often seen in traffic are the signs for hard of hearing people, which can be attached to the back of the bike to let others know that the person won't respond to audible traffic cues and to be careful.

1. Not having the muscle mass or lung capacity for intense exercise

Electrical bikes used to be mostly associated with senior citizens, however in recent years it has become more popular with high schoolers, who have to bike long distances to school or adults, who don't want to arrive sweaty at work. They can either assist you or do the biking for you. Normal electric bikes can go up to 30 km/h, but the recently popular fatbike can go up to 60 km/h (which is a hazard and should be regulated, but I digress). Every bike type that follows after can be an eletric bike.

2. Needing back support

Of course not everyone can sit on a bike, whose seating gives no support and for those there are lying bikes. Though being able to get up and down from a pretty low seat, which is less.

3. Not having the balance for biking

One big thing with bikes is balancing, which is something I struggle with (shout out to physical therapy for helping with that). Once I'm on the bike it is easier for me, but I struggled a lot with getting on and off the bike for a while as well as balancing in general, so I had training wheels for a lot longer than most of my peers.

Luckily, there are a lot of options for people who have bad balance or for whom getting on and off a bike would be more of a struggle. A fatbike already makes for easier balance, however for more aid you have tricycles for adults, which are pretty common. And an extra wheel can also be put on a lying bike.

4. Mental disabilities that limit safe independence in traffic

Not everyone can be in traffic unsupervised due to mental disabilities or brain damage, so not everyone can bike on their own. However, there are many ways to bike while having someone there for safety.

A tandem might seem like a gimmick to some, but it can allow someone to bike without needing to take into account all the moving traffic. And the dubble bike, which is more often used as a fun thing for tourist to explore a city while being able to chat, can provide the same for those with bad balance. If the person in question is smaller than the person supervising, such as a child or little person, than there is also a bike attachment for any bike with a luggage carrier.

5. Using a mobility aid

A lot of people think that you can't bike when using a mobility aid, however biking is not the same as walking, so should your body allow it, biking is possible.

If a person uses a cane or crutches there are ways to hold them in place. A walker can also be attached to the back if it is foldable. If a person is in a wheelchair (depending on what kind) then a hand bike is an option, which allows for higher speeds than moving regularly, while not taking more energy. A person with a wheelchair can also be transported with a bike, if they are not able to move through traffic independently (i have been informed that this is for kids, so thank you for that addition).

6. Lifestyle makes it more difficult to bike

Some people can ride a bike, but aren't able of biking, because they have kids, pets or need to move more stuff. However, there are ways to still use a bike in those circumstances. Popular among people in busy cities with more than one kid is a cargo bike. A cargo bike is also avaible with three wheels for extra balance and both can be electric. For pet owners the trailer is more popular, since a pet cannot jump out of it, though I've also seen plenty of babies and toddlers in them. Both these options can naturally also hold stuff.

Of course I totally understand that not everyone is able to bike and that not everywhere there is the infrastructure necessary. I am just passionate about it and I think that a lot of people might not realize that biking can be more accessible than it is often portrayed. I might have missed something, so feel free to add if you find anything and I would love to hear thoughts or just reactions :D

[velvetwyrme]

This may be a stupid question but why do you like transformers? They look cool and I see people posting about them and get jealous but I don't know if I could really get into it myself... anything you would recommend starting with?

Not a stupid question! But certainly an interesting one!! Unsurprisingly, I ended up talking a lot.

I like Transformers for a lot of reasons! Partially because well... I like robots and mechanical things, and by association, mecha! But the reason I ended up getting sucked in past admiring the designs was because of the characters.

I'm a character and story driven person more than anything, so when I realised "oh my god Transformers is more than big robots battling it out" (still cool but not compelling to me) I knew I was doomed. Like yes, it IS about their 4 million year long war, but it's also about interpersonal relationships and revolution and morality (and the lack of), and also kind of going "what if this really fucked up thing happened? what then?" and a whole lot more.

I also really enjoy the way characters are portrayed differently across continuities, because sometimes you get really different interpretations of characters and I think it's fascinating and fun. (This should surprise no one, considering I also like UT AUs. like. Yeah. LOL. Of course.)

Honestly I was kinda feeling the same way you described up until... April? This year? (... Crazy. It has felt like WAY longer rhdjfhdjbfd) where TF kinda existed in my periphery but I was just like. Mild about it. I had some friends who liked it so it crossed my dash from time to time but I was kinda like. Meh??

But then I started reading a lot of Transformers fanfic because it had some specific tropes I wanted to read, and got sucked in because I was doing a lot of googling so that I knew what characters looked like. And then googling to find out what the fuck was up with characters (why does everyone write the weird blue helicopter like this? Oh... he's just... Like that. Okay. I love him.)

I also just... enjoy learning lore and worldbuilding facts and HO BOY. TRANSFORMERS HAS A LOT OF THAT. also fanon. I am learning new things constantly and its GREAT.

As for places to start...

=======

I mean, there's a pretty good movie that just came out ;]]!! TF One is genuinely a decent place to start imo. Other than that... I think I've actually answered this before actually ndhfjdhfkf but I'll answer again! I like talking. Evidently.

Depending on whether you like reading or watching stuff, you have a VARIETY of options:

Transformers IDW (2005)/IDW1 (Comic): LONG comic series. Really really really good though. IDW does... kind of require a reading guide though, and I have some linked in this post (under the cut!)

Some people recommend you start at the fan favorite series, More Than Meets The Eye (MTMTE), which follows a crew of mechs that is set after the end of the war. Fun adventures in space! Totally all fun and nothing bad happens ever. Personally I wanted to know about the war and so I read. everything else leading up to it first, but MTMTE is (somewhat) self contained especially for the earlier stuff, so I do think it's possible to start there if you want to!

Transformers Skybound (Comic): This is the current ongoing comic series, which probably makes it a good jumping on point, but it's also... very sad. And violent! With very little downtime. If you like that then bam go for it though. It's pretty good imo! It's a great intro to some of the characters. (Like Shockwave :])

Transformers Prime (TV Series): Fan favorite! I like it a lot and one day I'll get around to actually watching it I swear. I really love some of the characters in this... also I got really obsessed with Soundwave from this series and that's what spurred me to get into TF. Except I also NEEDED to find out what the fuck was up with MTMTE characters so I went and read IDW instead.

Transformers Earthspark, (but specifically the first season apparently): I don't... know what's going on with the second season and I've heard very mixed reviews of S3. Apparently S1 is good though! It's ALSO set after the war, which means you get Optimus and Megatron being besties which is fun whdjfbdjfbfk,, I haven't watched this one either but from what I do know of it, it's a decent jumping on point.

Transformers Cyberverse (TV Series): This one is aimed at a younger audience and so it has Short Episodes but it's still a pretty fun time! I'm... still only partway through season 2, and I've heard Seasons 3 and 4 are really good LMAO

Other notable options: The G1 Cartoon, Transformers IDW (2019)/IDW2 (reboot of IDW1, got cut short though :[...)

Alternatively you can also take the route I took and just read fanfic like a lunatic until you eventually cave and just go "FINE. I'LL GET INTO TRANSFORMERS." If that's the case, tell me so I can bumo up my schedule for making the fic rec list that I've been meaning to make anyway.

ALSO. Did I also mention that pretty much all the TV series can be found for free on Youtube? Because they are. Which is crazy to me but I'm certainly not complaining >:)!!

[pjsk-hot-takes]

I like angst events with generally happy characters with generally happy stories/backstories more than characters that are already sad and have sad stories/backstories. Whenever I see an already miserable character get hit in the face with an angst event I just feel bad, it's not enjoyable to me. But I really like it when it's a character you dont usually see it for, or at least one with angst that's mild or rarely talked about.

I would absolutely LOVE a proper kohane angst event, lmao. I know that it's not the point of her character or arc, I just wanna see how it would go. Most of her angst was basically used up in main story, and the rest came up pretty rarely in event stories, iirc.

I'd also love to see angst of characters like ichika or minori explored more too, because some of this is really underutilized/underexplored. Again, I understand that their role isn't to be an angst machine constantly cranking out sad stories, but I'd like the fandom to notice it more, because some of this stuff is good food lmao. It looks like even shizukus angst is barely discussed, I think, and this is coming from someone who read the stories and immediately thought that I'd find a lot of angst for her.

I know I'm probably forgetting a few characters, but I think you get the general gist of it. I just really like angst lol. My favorite character is ena, but I honestly dont enjoy her angst events too much- it feels like she's already gone through enough, just leave her alone already lmao. That's all! I really want some properly sad kohane and shizuku cards lol

.

[phantomdoofer]

Tower Town, Chapter 20 - Leftovers

Paolo sat down on a bench in one of the college's many courtyards. He leaned back, staring at the sky, and sighed. 

The others were calling people, exchanging information, making plans. I can barely remember who I am. Fat lot of good I would be.

He felt more than heard someone sit down next to him. He said nothing. He didn't particularly want company.

“Come on big guy, what's eating you?” A perky voice said next to him.

He looked down - the strange woman with the pink bunny hood sat next to him. She was grinning happily.

He growled and leaned back again. “What do you want? I'm not really in the mood to humor you, you know."

He felt something shake the bench, and he heard a bonk that told him the woman had hit the bench with her shoes. Swinging her feet.

“Come on big guy, I know you're bothered by something. You wanna talk?”

He looked back down, fighting the urge to get up and walk away.

Then he paused. She's the first one who's really been nice to me since… whatever the hell this is happened. He nodded. “You're… the yellow guy's girlfriend, aren't you? Noisette, I think someone said?”

She grinned toothily. “That's me! I'm not his girlfriend though - we're actually married.” She leaned over and whispered, “my name's actually Hazel. I prefer Noisette, though.” She leaned back and smiled. “Ok, I told you a secret, now you tell me something about you!”

Paolo blinked. What is this woman? “I… still don't know. My past is… fuzzy. Not just the last few years, but everything. Who was I? What did I do for a living? How do I know all this stuff bouncing around in my head?” He shook his head ruefully. “I don't think I even have a home.” 

Noisette smiled up at him. “Well, that's OK! You could stay with one of us til you get back on your feet!”

Paolo thought about the open hostility the others had shown. “I doubt that.”

Noisette made a “pshaw” motion with her hand. “Noisey has all kinds of places we don't use much. You can stay in one’a them!” Her grin took on a slightly malicious edge. “I'll just talk to him.”

Paolo didn't know how to respond. He wasn't used to people being nice to him without being paid first. How do I know that? “That's, uh, very generous of you.”

Noisette's face fell just  a little. “Well… I don't blame the others for havin’ hard feelins, after all. What you did as Pizzahead was… pretty bad.” She brightened up again. “But that was this Pizzamancer guy, right? It wasn't you!”

Paolo found himself being completely truthful. “I think… part of it was me. I don't always… feel emotions right, I think.”

Noisette’s mouth made an O of surprise. “Oh. Are you one of those, what do they call them… sociopaths? Don't ya ever feel sad about anybody? Or happy?”

Paolo thought back. When have I ever had a chance to, really? I always had to put on a mask… I think?  “I… honestly don't know. It never really, er… came up.”

Suddenly a splitting headache lanced through his head. He grabbed his head with both hands.

He heard Noisette's voice, but it was echoing weirdly, distorting…

“Y-y-ou OhohooOK biiiig GuYyyY..?”

Then he was looking at a young Ninda's face, pale. Feminine.

Paolo felt a flood of warmth and safety pour through him at her face.

Look at him, for once in your life, Giorgio!

A round, greasy face hove into view. Instantly the feeling changed to fear and loathing.

He's weak an’ pathetic, is what he is! He ain't gonna amount t’ nothin’!

Don't say stuff like that in front of him! You'll twist his mind! 

Then he snapped back to reality.

Noisette was staring up at him, a look of mild horror on her face.

He felt something warm on his face… he reached up and wiped it away. Tears? And pizza sauce? “I… I remembered something. I think it was… my mother?” His head felt like it was splitting open. “Aagh.”

Noisette gently touched his arm. “You remembered somethin’? Your nose started bleeding.”

Paolo shook his head. “It felt… warm, for a second. Happy. Then my father showed up.” His brow furrowed. “Then it was hatred.”

Noisette nodded. “Maybe you repressed some stuff? An’ now that you're out from under the Pizzamancer, it's comin’ back!”

Paolo gripped his head in both hands. “I hope the rest of it isn't so painful.”

Noisette clapped her hands. “But that proves you've got emotions! Maybe you just… need to find ‘em again!” She hopped off the bench, waving for him to do the same. “Come on, come on! Let's go walk!”

Paolo hesitated. I barely know what's going on. These people hate me, and from what they're saying, it's not exactly unfounded. Then he paused again. Then again, I have no home, no life, and barely know who I am. What have I got to lose, really? 

He nodded. “All right. Not like I can be much help here.”

Noisette hopped up and down, clapping and looking ecstatic. “Yay!” She grabbed his arm and dragged him along. “Ok, first things first! Let's get you some fresh clothes! People are gonna be uneasy enough til they get used to ya without ya walkin’ around in that old clown outfit!”

Paolo looked down - he was still wearing the overalls and white shirt he'd woken up in, but they were ripped, stained, and, in a few places, burned. “Can't argue with you there.”

Noisette let go and started walking briskly. “I know just the place! Come on!”

~~~~

Paolo walked out of the clothing store, turning to examine himself. It was a simple outfit - slacks, a white cotton shirt, and a light coat. But the material was quality. “Gotta say, it's nice having fresh clothes.”

Noisette emerged behind him, festooned with bags. “I picked up some other outfits, too! We'll just drop them at the apartment I called ahead to, get you a key, and then,” she giggled, “I wanna show you the town!”

Paolo was still uneasy. Everyone was staring at him. What did I do to these people? “Uh, Noisette,” he said, “what… exactly… did Pizzahead do? I feel like I'm gonna be lynched.”

Noisette’s expression fell. “I… You'll have to talk to people to find that out, Paolo. I only know… a few things.” She squirmed. “He was always nice to me… but Noisey told me Pizzahead used to use me as leverage to get Noise to do what he wanted. And I heard… other things. Horrible things.” She looked pale. “Almost everyone here is from the Tower… and almost everyone here has a story. About Pizzahead.”

Paolo stared into the distance. Sweet pizza father, what did I do to these people? 

~~~~

Noisette opened the door, and gestured broadly. “Ta-da! Welcome to your new digs!”

Paolo stepped inside. It was a standard apartment at first glance… but he noticed the plush couch, the giant TV, the dishes in the cabinet. He put down a bag. “And you're OK with just… letting me use this?”

Noisette nodded. “We've got a few places around for guests to use. But with the Tower floatin’ around, we're not gettin’ any visitors. “She smiled up at him. “So don't worry about it! It's all paid for!”

He hung his head. “Th… thank you. You're being… so nice to me. And if what you said is true… I don't deserve it.” 

Noisette sat down, and gestured for him to do the same. “Aw, Paolo, don't be like that! It wasn't really you!”

Paolo slumped into a recliner. “That's the thing, Mrs…"

Noisette waggled a finger. “Just Noisette, Paolo.”

He nodded. “Noisette, the thing is… I don't think the Pizzamancer was totally controlling me, not until later. He was influencing me. Some of that…” he shuddered, “some of that was me. I'm not… really a good person. I…” he clutched this head. “Aagh, I can't remember who I was! It just feels like I was a bad guy!”

Noisette nodded, her smile gone. “Maybe ya were, big guy.” She hopped up, walked over, and put a hand on his knee. “Don't mean ya can't start over. Think of this as a chance to be someone else!” The toothy smile returned.

Paolo smiled back, hesitantly, then more confidently. “That's… that's a good point. Thank you.” He was silent a few moments. “I feel like you're the first person who's ever really been nice to me.”

Noisette poked him. “Maybe ya just needed a friend!”

Paolo nodded.

She grabbed his arm and dragged him to a standing position. “Come on, let me show you the Town!”

~~~~

As Paolo sat down, Noisette brought a plate of pastries over, a long with two cups of coffee. “Here ya go! My own recipes!”

He held up the pastry - he'd never seen one look so… lurid before. “Are you sure this is OK?”

She was already chewing on one. “Oh yeah,” she muttered around crumbs, “they're some of my best sellers!”

Hesitantly, he bit into one. A burst of flavors assaulted his mouth, and he stopped. He was picking up at least three different flavors of fruit - strawberry, blueberry, and… what is that? 

As he swallowed, she grinned. “You like it?”

“I… think so,” he said. “What's that third flavor?”

“Something the gnomes cooked up. Said it was a cross-breed of a bunch of different fruits. They call them flashberries, because they really make other stuff pop!” Noisette kicked her feet. “Really gives food some bite, don't it?”

“It does.” He looked around as he sipped his coffee - everyone other than Noisette in the cafe was either glaring or looked extremely uncomfortable. He hunched his shoulders. 

Noisette noticed the motion, and stood up. “Hey, everybody!” she said, “I just wanna let everybody know - I know this guy looks like Pizzahead, an’ he used to be, but he ain't Pizzahead no more! He was bein’ mind-controlled! His name's Paolo, an’ he's lost his memory! So be nice to him, OK?”

Several of the patrons’ faces shifted then, looking more sympathetic. 

“He's still trying to figure out what's goin’ on, and he's gonna be livin’ here for a while!” Suddenly the smile took on a dangerous edge. “If I hear about anyone causin’ him trouble, there'll be problems, an’ I don't want that, OK? Everybody spread the word!”

Suddenly every smile was bright and shining, and everyone nodded vigorously. Paolo was bemused. 

Someone came and whispered in the bunny woman's ear, and she waved. “Sorry, hun, got something I need to check on. Be right back!”

As she went into the back, a young Pig lady approached him. “So, you're not… not Pizzahead?”

Paolo shook his head. “No. Pizzahead was… partially me, but mostly the Pizzamancer. I think he took my dark side and made it… a lot worse.”

She nodded, sitting down. “And you can't remember any of it?”

As if on cue, his eye twitched as a shard of glassy pain shot through his head. He vaguely remembered seeing the woman's face… twisted in fear. “I…” he clutched this head. “I get… flashes. I saw… your face just now.” He shook his head. “Whatever I did to you, I'm sorry. But, could you tell me?”

The young Pig went pale. “You, you came to Pig City. You came to our cafe… you told us if we didn't clean it up you'd turn us into bacon.”

Paolo’s eyes went wide. “Oh Gods.”

The young woman quickly waved her hands in a conciliatory gesture. “Oh, you didn't hurt us. And… your face is different now.” She stared into his eyes, and nodded. “You're different. I don't think I'm afraid of you.”

He nodded, and gave a weak smile. “Well, that's a good start, I guess.”

Suddenly the entire cafe seemed to be wanting to ask him questions, to tell him about his past. Words flew past faster than he could respond.

He couldn't take it. His head started aching. “Stop, please stop,” he whispered.

“Hey hey HEY! Everybody, back up!” he heard Noisette's voice say over the cacophony. Everyone backed up, and she gently touched his shoulder. “Paolo? You OK?”

He slowly took his hands off his head. “I'm… OK,” he said. “I'm sorry, it was just too much at once… AGH!” He grabbed this head again as more stabbing pain lanced through it, a series of jumbled images and feelings flashing before his mind's eye.

“Oof, overloaded, huh?” Noisette said. “Everybody, please, give him some space.”

A chorus of quiet apologies sounded around him, and everyone returned to their seats. Everyone spoke in hushed voices, occasionally glancing at him.

At least they're glances of concern, not fear.

His head slowly stopped throbbing as Noisette sat across from him. “Sorry,” he said.

Noisette reached across and grabbed his hand. “They never got to get this close to Pizzahead without risking their lives before. Now… they're curious. The real Pizzahead would've gone on a rampage if that had happened to him.”

He considered. “I just wanted them to stop.”

She nodded. “If that ain't proof yer not Pizzahead, I don't know what is.”

~~~~

Paolo flopped down in a chair in the apartment Noisette had loaned him. His head throbbed. He leaned back, covering his eyes. Impulsively he jumped up, flipping the lights off.

Immediately he felt better. 

The whole world felt like it was too bright, too loud, too sharp. Every sensation is like a knife in my head! As he sat in the quiet dark, the throbbing slowly eased, and he found himself able to think again.

Migraines, he thought, they're called migraines.

Amazing that he could forget something even that basic.

Another memory floated to the surface, a newer one: a doctor at the hospital…

~~~~

“Mr. Pizzahead…”

“Please, don't call me that,” Paolo had said. “My name is… is… Paolo. Ach.” He'd clutched his head again.

The doctor had looked nonplussed. “Well, Mr. Paolo, I've never seen a pattern quite like this before, but it's plain you've got some noticeable brain damage, mainly to your memory regions. Please, take it easy. You may experience episodes of sensory overload. Try to stay somewhere quiet for a few days.” He'd huffed. “I'd prefer to keep you here for observation…”

Paolo had gently shaken his head. “I probably can't afford it.”

The doctor had shaken his head, as well. “Well, aside from massive memory loss, I'd say you're in good health. What will you do?”

Paolo had brushed his pocket - in it was the mysterious letter, addresses to him:

Please come to the History Department of La Crosta University immediately. It’s vital to your future. You will be cared for.

“I've got somewhere to be.”

~~~~

He'd gone to the meeting, memories floating to the surface of his mind as he walked. He couldn't even begin to guess how much he'd lost, but he'd known one thing: the Pizzamancer had ruined his life.

I'll kill him.

He looked around at the darkened room. At least he was right: I got taken care of. He considered his good fortune, that he'd taken the little rabbit’s word. He had a home… for now… he had - well, maybe not friends, but allies - to be with.

Now I just have to find out who I was as a person.

He leaned back in the chair. The seat was comfortable enough he could just… nod off…

~~~~

Paolo stood patiently as the man waited on other customers. He was nervous. Hate the man as he did, the last words of the dying were not easily ignored.

“Don't let it out of your sight. I mean it, boy! If you listen to one thing I've ever said, don't let it go…”

He shivered. It was only the second time his father had sounded scared.

“Can I help you, young man?”

Paolo squared his shoulders. My turn. He walked up to the counter. he old human across from him smiled in a friendly way. “I have something I wanted to get appraised, and possibly sell.”

The man nodded. “Very well, then. Let's see it.”

Paolo carefully took the ring out of his pocket and laid it on the counter. Just as carefully, the man picked it up, carefully fitting a jeweler's loupe to his eye. He looked the ring over. “Ohh, this is quite the treasure, young man! The workmanship is…” he paused; Paolo knew he was choosing his words carefully - the more lavish the praise, the higher a price Paolo could ask. Finally he spoke again… “passable. The ruby is… is…”

The ruby, the size of a pepperoni, glistened like old blood in the light of the shop. It had never needed polishing. It seemed to beckon to him, even now.

Paolo cleared his throat, and the man jumped. “Sorry, my boy, don't know what came over me, there. It's quite an impressive piece, but I'm not sure if I could find a buyer. I'm afraid I could only give you $5000 for it.”

Paolo kept his face blank. It's worth far more than that. He shook his head. “Now now, sir, while that's quite a generous sum, I couldn't possibly part with it for that much.”

Paolo could practically smell the man's avarice. “I… I could perhaps give you 10- no, 15,000?”

Paolo tried not to smile. He wants it, but I can get more. He reached out and gently plucked it out of the man's hands. “I appreciate your time, sir, but a man offered me $50,000 at another store. I thought perhaps you would be more honest, but I see you aren't interested.”

The man was practically salivating now. He reached out and grasped Paolo’s clenched hand. “No, no! Sorry, sorry, young man, I misspoke! Not sure what I was thinking. I'll give you $100,000 for it!”

Paolo’s heart leapt. $100,000! That would be more than enough to invest and grow in the time I have! He nodded. “Deal.”

The pawnbroker nodded, smiling widely. “Come, come, let's set up the details. I assume you don't want it in cash.”

Not if I don't want to be robbed before I get to the bank. “No, sir. A direct deposit will do nicely.”

As they worked out the details, Paolo found a strange dread gnawing at his happiness. He shook his head, looking down at the ring. Can't wait to be rid of you.

And yet the idea seemed to fill him with dread.

Finally the old man hung up his phone. “Very well, young man. Simply hand over the ring, and I'll send you the money immediately.” The old man held out his hand, expectantly.

Paolo held the ring out… and hesitated. His hand seemed to want to lock up. He swore he heard his father screaming at him.

In fact, he swore he heard a cacophony of voices screaming defiance and denial at him. 

Paolo shook his head, and dropped the ring in the man's hand.

As the man smiled and cradled the ring, Paolo felt a tiny twinge of… something… in the back of his mind. As for the voices… they had gone silent.

The man reached over and tapped a few keys. “There you go, young man. $100,000. Here's your paperwork.”

Paolo took the paperwork, stood, and shook hands. “Glad to be rid of it.”

The man held the ring up to the light. “Can't imagine why! It's quite the striking piece!”

“It holds… bad memories for me.” Paolo bowed, feeling wooden and strange. “Good day, sir.”

As he walked out, Paolo felt a strange hollowness in the back of his mind. The world seemed to change and fade, growing fuzzy and distorted.

Suddenly the ground erupted, a huge, clawed hand bursting up from beneath the street.

Paolo fell backwards, screaming in terror. But the people around him said nothing, not reacting. He saw one turn…

They had no face. None of them have faces!

The hand slammed down, pulling a monstrous being up from the earth - a round, greasy body, a face picked out in pizza toppings. The strips of green pepper opened, and a roar like the furnaces of hell itself burst out. 

Paolo realized that, despite being deafening and many octaves deeper, it was his father's voice.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, BOOOOOY?” It roared. 

Paolo scrambled backwards on his hands and feet. “I - I don't know what-’

A huge hand snatched him up, holding him to the huge face. Below, the faceless masses continued about their days. The monster smashed several of them, but there was no reaction.

“I TOLD YOOOOU! DON'T LOSE THE RINNNNG!”

Paolo squirmed. “I didn't lose it! I sold it! I just- just want a life to live!”

The creatures roared in rage. “DOOMED! THE WORRRRLD IS DOOOMED BECAUSE OF YOOOOOU! HE IS IN YOU NOW! HAVE TO STOP YOOOU!”

The beast opened its maw, and flames crackled in its mouth. Paolo writhed. “NO! NO, PLEASE! I'M SORRY!”

The creature dropped him into its mouth.

As he fell for what felt like an eternity, Paolo screamed. 

“I'M SORRYYYY…!”

~~~~

Paolo rocketed up from his reclined position, gasping. Frantically he patted over his body - no burns, no scrapes. He rubbed his face - it was covered in sweat and tears. His head was pounding in time with his heart. What was that? A nightmare? A memory? 

Both?

He stood, stumbling over to the bathroom. He looked into the mirror - he looked haggard, tired. Behind his eyes, it felt like dull needles were being stabbed into his head.

And yet… he found memories there, too.

A pizzeria, full of joy and laughter.

Mechanical figures, dancing and singing, as he watched from the shadows, proud that the mechanical aptitude he'd hated had been useful, after all.

A growing unease, an inability to let go of the memory of the ring…

His employees, finally abandoning him after all his abuse…

Paolo grabbed his head as the throbbing got worse. Too much at once. The dream seemed to have been a catalyst, though. He was catching bits and pieces of his time as Pizzahead.

The blood, the pain, the enjoyment he'd taken in it…

All with a smile. That same damn smile.

Paolo fought not to vomit.

He glanced over at the shower. Shower would do me good.

~~~~

Paolo wandered into Noisette's cafe. A few customers cautiously waved and smiled, and he waved back, though his smile was probably a little sickly.

The memories were still surfacing, and none of them were pleasant.

Noisette herself bounced over. “Hello, Paolo! How're you…” she paused, noticing his pallor. She sat down, concerned. “Actually, maybe I should take you to the doctor or somethin’. You OK, big guy?”

Paolo grimaced. “I had… a nightmare. Last night. I remembered… selling that ring. And then my father appeared as a monster, telling me I'd doomed us all… and he ate me, dropping me in a pit of fire.”

Noisette looked horrified. “That's terrible! Let me get you some coffee and something to eat!”

He reached out and grabbed her arm. “Nothing too sweet, please. I don't think my stomach could take it.”

She nodded, and jogged off. Shortly she arrived with the aforementioned coffee, and a pair of bagels. He sipped the coffee - it had cream, but little sugar. He nodded. “Perfect.” He held up the bagels - there were small dark spots. He looked more closely. “Raisins?”

Noisette nodded, looking down. “One of the only times Pizzahead was actually nice to me was one time he came into my place inn the Tower, asking for raisins. He seemed so happy…”

Paolo felt a twinge, and he remembered - he had loved raisins as a kid. He took a huge bite of a bagel, and immediately smiled. “Guess a bit of me was coming through there. Good call, Hazel.”

Noisette immediately perked up. “So, you're remembering more about yourself?”

He nodded. “Bits and fragments. Most of it is… nauseating.” He stared at the bagel. “It's, it's giving me an idea of what the Pizzamancer is like.”

“Oh?” Noisette leaned forward.

“I thought I had trouble feeling emotions, but…” he paused. “He's… he's a complete monster. The worst kind. He's a narcissist, a sociopath, a murderer more times than I want to think about.” His stomach roiled, and he took a shot of coffee. “Honestly, it really doesn't matter how it happens, but… we can't let him stay around. We can't let him live.”

Noisette made an “O” of surprise. “That bad?”

Paolo shuddered. “Hazel, whatever you thinking is the worst that can happen… he's capable of so much worse. I was thinking he brought out my dark side, and he did, but… I think I was holding him back.” He paused, practically inhaling the other bagel in his nervousness. “Please tell me the others have found a way to find this guy.”

Noisette twiddled her thumbs. “I don't think they're havin' much luck. Giuseppe and Anita's government and criminal connections, Vigi’s old bounty hunter buddies… even Noisey’s been talking to other media people.” She shook her head. “It's like findin’ a ghost.”

Paolo slapped his hands down on the table, angry. “We have to find him! I don't- AGH!” His head felt like it was being stabbed again. Noisette jumped up, running to his side, but he held up his hand. “We can't give him time! He'll… he'll…” Paolo sat back down.

Noisette sat back down. “But, what can we do that ain't being done? We-”

A huge shadow fell over the two of them, and Noisette gasped. Paolo looked up…

A giant stood in front of him. He was enormous, a good nine feet tall, made of purple stone. He was wearing patched pants, and oddly, a small flat hat. He was looking down at Paolo with a stern expression.

Noisette gasped. “Huh? John? Pillar John? What are you doing here?”

John bent slowly, looking Paolo in the eyes. He'd heard of Litha before, but he'd never met one. They were even more rare than his own kind - it was thought there were less than a thousand left in the world. He cringed back. “Can… can I help you, Mr… John?”

John stared into his eyes, saying nothing. It felt like the giant stone man was digging into the deepest parts of his soul. Finally, he nodded. “There's a lotta damage there, but yer you again. Looks like th’ bastard really truly ditched ya.” The Litha gently sat down next to the table, gesturing for them to sit down. “I'm here fer you, pizza man. Or rather, you and yer friends.”

“My… friends?” Paolo repeated. He was so off-balance all he could do was parrot.

John nodded. “We tol’ Peppino we'd be there when he needed us, an’ he needs us. But firs’, I gotta let ya in on a lil’ secret.” He leaned closer. “Sorry, but this is gonna hurt. A lot.”

John reached out and gently grasped Paolo's head.

Paolo felt something snap inside his head, and he stood, then fell to his knees, clutching his head. Tears boiled out of his eyes. The pain was indescribable.

Noisette crouched beside him. “Oh, no! Paolo? Paolo!” She turned to a bystander. “Someone call an ambulance, quick!”

His hand shot out and gripped her arm. “N-no! No! Wa… wait…”

The pain was lessening, and a memory surfaced….

~~~~

Pillar John stood next to him, grinning.

“Now watch this, buddy.” John gently grabbed Pizzahead's arm… there was a feeling of the world bending…

And then they were standing beside Gerome.

Pizzahead was impressed. “Well, well, how'd you do that?”

Pillar John laughed. “Ah, we can do stuff like that. I can move us here ‘cause I always know where Gerome is. I can move ‘im around, too!”

Pizzahead grinned inside. He already knew it, but he'd wanted to be sure the two Litha had that level of power before he continued. It had been so long since his ‘death,’ the Litha making up the tower had all gone moribund. They were slowly falling apart. But with a fresh Litha, split up amongst the different parts of the Tower… he could have his invincible, unfindable fortress again. “Well, that's good, old rock! I've got a good job for you, then…

~~~~

Suddenly his vision snapped back to a circle of concerned bystanders… and John, who looked more solemn than he'd ever been.

Paolo reached towards him. “John… I'm so sorry. Where is Gerome?”

John nodded. “Inside the Tower.”

Paolo grabbed Noisette's arm. “Noisette, call the others. I know how to get to the Tower.”

Noisette gaped for a moment, then nodded, and quickly dialed a number. The crowd around them backed up, murmuring.

John stared at him, saying nothing.

Paolo was shaking. “John. John. The Tower. It's made out of… out of Litha, isn't it? Thousands of Litha…!”

The giant nodded. “Yeah. I talked to ‘em while I was stuck there. That's why there's so few of us now. The Pizzamancer turned ‘em all into that thing. That's why it can do some o’ the things it can do.”

Paolo felt like vomiting again. “That's… that's sick.”

John nodded again. “Now ya know why we been keepin’ an eye on th’ Tower. An’ you.”

Noisette clicked off her phone. “All right, they're in their way.”

John stood up. “I'll wait for ya where the Tower used t’ be. Lemme know when you're all ready.”

As the Litha ambled off, Noisette grabbed Paolo's arm. “You really know how to get us there?”

Paolo nodded. “I do.” He clapped his hands together. “I just hope we can finish this when we get there.”

[suckishima]

kagehina, sakuatsu, yamayachi, kiyoyachi?

Ohhhh so many omg I'll try to keep this concise.

Kagehina: Absolutely makes sense, oddly does not compel me (at least romantically)

I go crazy insane for them as like narrative soulmates, rivals who are obsessed with each other for life. They both have this insatiable hunger for the sport that makes them feed off of each other in this singular way that I can't imagine either of them would ever have with anyone else. Furudate is a genius for the way they intertwine the kagehina relationship, it's so fucking good.

That being said, it's because they compel me so much in that way that they don't really work for me as a typical romantic ship. I totally get why it does work for people though, there's a LOT to work with.

Sakuatsu: Omg don't come for me but uhh, they don't make sense and it does not compel me...

😫 Sorryyy I just don't gett it. They barely speak in canon and I always saw their dynamic as mild at best. And then a lot of the interpretations I see of them in fanon aren't really my personal taste. Also I think my apathy toward them also comes from me being really picky about how Atsumu is characterized in fanon stuff

Yamayachi: Oh yeah this makes sense, but also does not compel me.

It's fine, they're cute. But that's about it for me. It just doesn't go much deeper than that I think and I enjoy them better as friends. Friendship potential HUGE I think tho, I think they'd have a lot to bond over in terms of like, feeling like they're on the outside, and just general anxiety things too. (plus i generally hc yachi as a lesbian and yamaguchi as bi and i always like to imagine them bonding over that when yamaguchi figures his shit out, but i'm pretty loose about how strictly i apply headcanons like that and it's not at all the main factor in not compelling me to them as a ship)

Kiyoyachi: Heyyyy the first makes sense AND compels me! Yay!

Not sure I even need to defend this one lol. SO many scenes, so many. Yachi is in love with her, borderline canon—and attracted to her? even closer to canon lmao. But of course their bond is more than just whatever fledgling crush Yachi probably has in the beginning, theres genuine care and respect and understanding.

The problem is,, and it hurts me, but they compel me the most when they're one-sided.. I think this is mostly bc of how affected I am by canon. I love them, I love them together, but also the potential for angst with them is SO high that I end up not engaging much with them as a pairing bc I don't like to read sad things about characters I love lmao. But then if I read happy fluffy things where they're the main pairing being explored, it sort of just feels, off to me—and while it's nice and cute, it compels me less?? Idk it's weird push and pull. Fanart rather than fic is the perfect happy medium with them for me, I think

Send me ships and I'll talk about whether they compel me!

[rataticaisdreaming]

day 2 - fusion @intrualityweek

Summary: When Remus and Patton can’t stop fighting, the mind decides to give them a chance to be in each other's shoes.

Pairing: Platonic Intruality (he/him for both)

Word Count: 1397

Warnings: Verbal fights / Hurt/Comfort / Intrusive thoughts / Remus being Remus / Cursing / Mention of sex

“Those are awful things, Remus! You should think of more cheerful… innocent stuff!"

"Oh yeah, because everyone wants to live in Care-A-Lot, daddy-o."

It has been like this for weeks now. Patton getting more and more distressed at Remus’ outbursts, which have been more common ever since the last major issue Thomas faced. Their fights seemed personal and within their own bubble, seeing as they were right next to each other. Janus and Roman had no problem ignoring them, it was so childish and unnecessary that not even Virgil was affected by this. It was getting annoying though. Once everyone left those two to bicker alone, Patton frowned and sank down to his room. The duke was so unsettling! It wasn't so difficult to keep your thoughts to yourself and keep things nice and decent.

Throwing himself to the stuffie filled couch, he reached for an old blanket and his Tender Heart teddy bear. A wave of sadness filled him, tears silently fell from his cheeks into the blanket he was holding so close. Everything felt like too much.

He hated arguments so much. The loud voices and negative feelings made him feel so small and overwhelmed. The need to just get out, get out, get out. How he closed his eyes and just prayed the tears wouldn't come out, this is not the time for big emotions. He just wanted to hide and make the feelings go away.

━

Well, fuck him. There he goes again with his big mouth and inability to just shut the fuck up!

No one wants to hear you anyways.

He is trying! He really is! Just spit out the mild ones so his head guts will be at ease until he comes back to his room. That’s exactly what he did… then why was today so difficult?!

You were never meant to be one of them.

And why the fuck is his brain not shutting the fuck up?! He just wanted some rest for God's sake.

You should impale yourself with the bed's wooden poles. 

Just get in a onesie, what if you get tangled up and suffocate?

Get in bed and under the blankets, you should have hate sex with the others.

Hug your emotional support octopus stuffie and feel them hug you back… oh, the ways they could crush you to death.

Just close your eyes… It will be okay in the morning.

Except it won't be. It will be this over, and over, and over again until you die. Alone and in pain and no one will care about you…

━

"We need Patton. It's clear to me this issue needs his emotional expertise."

A quick hand gesture is all Logan needed to make the moral side rise in his spot. Eyes shut tight and in clear distress, softly bouncing on his heels.

"Sorry kiddo, your old man just needed a little rest. Felt more tired than a hooker after an orgy."

What… in the world?

The room falls silent and everyone is suddenly looking at him. Roman and Virgil look at each other stunned, eyes so big they seem ready to pop out. Janus scoffs in disbelief, like he finally heard how much of a petty bitch he is. Logan adjusts his tie, looking down at the floor, maybe he’ll find his worth somewhere in the dust. Thomas looks like he just saw a puppy being shot in front of him. 

Wow, this little mind of his is not slowing down, is it?

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I didn't know why I said that… must be reaaally out of it! Maybe I just need some coffee and breakfast to get myself back on track." he said, awkwardly tiptoeing his way to the kitchen.

No one knew how to react to what just happened, so Roman spoke first.

“Maybe all that time with my brother is messing with him, speaking of him.” he said as he summoned Remus with an annoyed frown “Where is my copy of Princess and the Frog?”

Remus rose in his spot and stared at his twin like a deer in headlights, after a few seconds, he answered.

“I'm pretty sure I placed it back on the shelf.” he said, timidly hugging himself.

“Well, it's not there!”

The escalating tone made Remus flinch and look away, that seemed to be the wrong thing, because Roman spoke again.

“I swear in the holy name of Julie Andrews, Remus, if you did something to it…"

"I promise I didn't! I- I'm sure I placed it on the shelf, maybe I can help you find it! Just… Please lower your tone." 

Roman was taken back by his response, his brother looked on the verge of tears. He has never seen the duke express himself like that. Weirded out was an understatement,

Before he could say anything, Patton came back and…

"Well, I can safely say the dishwasher liquid does not, in fact, taste like lemon and oranges."

Something was wrong.

━

"You will not leave this couch until you figure out what happened, do I make myself clear?"

It had been ten minutes since Logan left them there. Ten full minutes of distressed bouncing on his seat, eyes shut as he tried his hardest not to voice his thoughts. After what felt like an hour, Patton couldn’t take it anymore.

"Remus, all these thoughts… are they yours?" he said in a small voice Remus barely heard. "They are horrible…"

“I know they are!” he yelled, causing Patton to flinch. Upon seeing the reaction, the creative side broke down.

"I hate all of this! It all feels like too much!”

Patton’s knowing smile made him feel warm and troubled. A question popped into his head. He scooched over a little bit and started to fidget with his sparkly sleeves.

“Do you feel like this all the time?"

Patton looked up and sighed.

"Mhm" 

"Do you get these thoughts all the time?"

Remus looked up with slightly red eyes.

"Yeah…"

"I never realized how much pain you were actually in… I thought you said those things to annoy us…" he started, receiving a soft laugh from the duke "But they are like a swarm! I need- I need them out!"

“Shh, it's okay. They will calm down, here, tug this string."

The moral side did with a tired hand, when he let go, a soft “quack” came out of nowhere. A tiny duck dropped from the air into his lap.

"Heh… And where did this little guy come from?"

“Little gift.”

A small giggle escaped from Patton’s lips and he changed his posture, visibly calmer and less tense. After working some courage, Remus decided to speak as well.

"I never knew you were feeling this much… It's suffocating. Every emotion feels fucking intense and it hurts! How do you live like this?"

"I just do… Comes with being the heart, I guess. My room helps me, it calms me down when it gets too much."

"Huh. Do you think I could… hang out there sometime?"

"Sure! Janus and Logan have been very insisting on the whole "finding a distraction" thing. We could do a puzzle together or watch a show."

"Yeah… I'd like that."

━

It has been like this for weeks now. Remus learning to use his inner voice, mindful of how loud noises impact the other’s emotions. Patton started to listen to Remus' ideas and ignored the ones that were plainly intrusive thoughts.

By the end of an afternoon discussion, they were already looking at each other in anticipation.

They sank down and arrived at Patton's living room. There was an unfinished puzzle on the coffee table as well as board game boxes laying on the side of it. Remus picked the neon green notebook and glitter pen and sat down next to the moral side.

They summoned popcorn, sodas and m&ms. Even some lemon slices for Remus. Whenever he got unwanted thoughts, he would write them down. Patton would hug his teddy bear, as a silent sign that they needed to slow down for a bit, when the emotions got too intense.

It was working for them. They also made a mental note to never anger the mind again. It would be fantastic to see Roman get all of Virgil's anxiety, but Remus was a good brother and decided to write that thought down for now.

[sanscat0414]

Love Hurts 1

Hawks x Reader

Scenario: You have a crush on Hawks but he loves another or so it seems. One day you learned that you have the Hanakai disease. Will you be saved?

Warning: Mild Blood

Note:

H/n=Hero name

————————————————————————

You and Hawks were pretty much insuperable since childhood. You both grew up together and both was taken in by the commission. Hawks trust you and you trust him. Over the years you started to develop a crush on your bird friend. You didn’t want to ruin what you have so you never told him as such. You’ve convinced yourself that your love is unrequited and that’s okay. Or at least that’s what you tell yourself.

Recently you started to notice Hawks spending less time with you and more with another hero, Mirko. Now you were hurt by this but you get it Mirko is such a strong and beautiful woman. Any man would fall for her. When you do see Hawks he talked about the fun stuff him and Mirko was up to like pranking other heros. You where perfectly okay playing the supporting friend in there love story.

One day, after the rare times you get to see Hawks you started feeling sick. You went home and when directly to the bathroom. You started coughing and ended up throwing up. When you opened your eyes again you saw blood and yellow petals in the toilet bowl infront of you. You didn’t think much of it at first thinking it was possible an effect form a villain you fought that day.

You decided to the doctor next morning and took a day off. Once you where at the doctor they did a few test and ask a few questions.

“Ms.(H/n) form what you are saying and experiencing. I believe you have Hanakai disease.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a disease born from one-sided love. It’s still a bit of mystery why it happens. It can be fatal if you don’t treat as flowers take over your body form the inside.”

“Is there a cure?”

“Thankfully yes, a treatment through surgery or having the other person confess their love for you too. Going through the surgery means that your feelings and memories of the person.”

“I see…..” you said quietly as you thought about Hawks.

You hated the thought about losing all those precious memories of hawks. You love him and he was always there no matter what. You loved him will all your heart and he was the only person that matter to you. Loosing those memories would be like removing a part of yourself. You also know… having him love you is impossible, you’re just a friend after all.

“Any chances the person you like, would like you back?”

“Mostly likely not.”

“So shall we sche-“

“No. Thanks for everything.”

“BUT Ms.(H/n) if you don’t you’ll die. I know it’s not my place but you done a lot of good for Japan it be a shame to loose you over a person.”

“Call me selfish, I know. But this person had been in my life for a long long time now. Loosing those memories would be like losing my entirety. Beside… I love them to much to let that go.” You said with a sad smile before leaving.

It was sunset by the time you left the hospital. As you walked you heard ten familiar sounds of wings flapping behind you.

“Hey~ up for some hang out time? I just got off work.”

You turn around, low and behold, hawks in all his glory. You smile and nodded. He took hold of you and flew to a near by roof top together. Once your alone in the roof Hawks let go of you.

“Yoru agency said you’re out sick today. You okay?” He said worriedly.

“Mhm, thankfully it was just a bad stomach bug.” You lied.

You can’t tell him the truth. He can’t know. He doesn’t need to know. All it matter is spending the rest of the time you have with him.

“If you’re not feeling well, I can take you home.”

“No it’s fine. I want to hang out with you. How was your day?”

“Oh it was great. Mirko and I pulled a prank on Easerhead and ———-“

You sorted of zoned out a bit as he talked with so much enthusiasm about the fun time he had while patrolling with Mirko. Mirko, you know she a nice lady, you met her a few times but every time you hear her name it seem like another knife to your chest. You started to feel physically pain again and tried to hide it. You started coughing again and hawks immediately stopped talking and tried to help you. You pushed him a way while coughing into your hanker-chief. You hid the hanker- chief from him and thankfully he didn’t notice it.

“____! I guess that stomach bug was worst eh? Come on let me take you home. You should get more rest.”

You nodded and let him take you home. Once you were home and Hawks was gone, you took out the hankercheif. You look at it and as expected blood and Yelloow petals a few more than before. You know it well only get worse. You can’t help but wonder when your gone what would hawks think….

Part 2

[22degreehalo]

aaaaand FINALLY I've finished writing up my next few recs for the Summer @ficreadingchallenge :'DDD Most of these I read weeks ago when I was especially tired and just wanted to lie down and listen to some podfics, as you'll see below~ But I'm still going! I got sooo close to finishing a line this time (and I WOULD HAVE if I hadn't swapped around the squares for some of these hahaha) and if possible I want to complete a full blackout! n.n

A couple of prompt-related rambles: 'Enemies to Friends / Lovers' is highlighted buuut I actually later decided to use that fic for 'Future AU' so. Oh well :') I also swapped a fic from Domestic to Gift Giving even though gifts aren't the main focus because I was having trouble with that square and the gifts ARE still a pretty big part of the fic so??? who cares hahaha. Also somehow I've gotten this far using a different pairing for every single square and I was absolutely tempted to try to continue that, and am knocking myself out of it because I just want to encourage myself to read fic, not force myself into a pretzel trying to track down rarepair fics that SHOULD exist SOMEWHERE......

New recs below!! :D

Canon Compliant

after knowing all, I wonder, can you really say innocent? By Aialize (15.5k, ongoing, Milgram gen)

This is a super fascinating fic and a great example of one of my favourite genres: crack treated seriously! In this one, the music videos exist in-universe and the prisoners (plus Es) will watch them all, reacting and responding in-character. I love how committed the author is to this premise: some of the characters would rather forget all this stuff is even happening, while others (most notably Kotoko) fully intend to learn all they can about the other prisoners from them. It’s still early days, but I can’t wait to see how they all react differently, and what (correct or incorrect!) conclusions they come to! (Also, maybe it seems strange to use an AU fic for the tag ‘Canon Compliant’, but the fic is sticking to the canonically-chosen verdicts which is why it counts!)

Fic With No Comments Yet

messin’ up my mind by Skyrose – a podfic by CailynWrites (5k, 33:47, Percy/Oliver)

Choosing podfics for the ‘No Comments Yet’ category almost feels like cheating heh, but these very important fan works deserve just as much love!!! This is an adorable fic: stories where the characters’ friends/family ‘ship them’ can be corny and OOC, but I love that Fred and George initially just want to give Oliver something to care about other than Quidditch training, and have no clue the cogs they started working in Oliver’s head until they’re ready for that last push. And I love Oliver and Percy’s relationship: not quite close, comfortable friends, but more like very different people who’ve spent a lot of time together and never quite taken the plunge in becoming fixtures of one another’s life – yet. <3

Hurt/Comfort

The Care and Feeding of a Deeply Depressed Vampire [Podfic] by secretsofluftnarp, read by Pandamug (2.8k, 21:16, Nandor/Guillermo

Fics that perfectly capture the absurd black humour of this show are always a treat and this fic is no exception! One of the tags is ‘canon-typical sex talk’ and hoo BOY is that accurate haha, but beneath the characteristic horniness and always-at-least-mild insufferability, Nandor really is just a pathetic sad little vampire, and the degree of care Guillermo has for him – and how much Nandor trusts him in return – is so sweet!

BIPOC Character

[Podfic] The Benefits of Communication written by ushauz, voiced by GodOfLaundryBaskets (3.2k, 27:27, Wyll/Astarion)

I’m still dipping my toes into Wyll/Astarion fanfic, but this was a very nice introduction!! Despite focusing on Astarion’s trauma around sex, it also gets a bit into Wyll’s complicated relationship with it as well, in a way that totally makes sense for them! I can 100% see these two dumbasses having a miscommunication like this, doing something they both don’t like just because they think it’ll make the other happy :’D

Future AU

Recognition by SaraJaye (2k, N/Hilbert)

This is such a sweet fic, and I can totally imagine these two’s relationship going this way post-canon!! By the end of the game they’d both need some time before they’d really be ready to be in a relationship, and though short I totally love how the friendship builds enough here for them to do that! <3

Gift Giving

Tinsel by Lunar_Years (17.5k, Roy/Jamie/Keeley)

I absolutely love and 100% recommend this entire series of RJK fics – they capture the characters and their relationship absolutely perfectly, and the familial interactions ring so true! I particularly loved Roy’s complicated relationship to the holidays; feeling troubled by his own lack of enthusiasm towards what should be ‘his’ celebrations, and only realising in retrospect that he really had enjoyed his time taking part in it all with his partners. Despite being longer than all the other fics I’ve recced here so far, the time absolutely blazed by, because it all flowed so smoothly and once I started reading I didn’t want to stop! <3

Time Travel

Catalyst [podfic] by TheStarvingWriter, read by RavenGranger11 (2.5k, 19:53, Dean/Castiel)

This fic packs in so much for its length! It’s wonderfully atmospheric between the dingy motel room and young Dean’s insecurity and longing, and from the moment Cas steps in his fondness and familiarity for Dean shines right through <3

Time Loop

& home & home & home (or, a timeloop) by decemberista - a Podfic read by Beatificbean (3.1k/20:09, Remus/Sirius)

Ugh, this fic hits so hard. :( With its succinct writing we really get a sense of how hard Sirius tries, over and over, to save everyone. It’s almost like poetry – especially at the end, which really made me cry!! ;__;

[justagalwhowrites]

Thoughts, for some reason?

*CW Mental health, suicide (I'm fine!!), general existentialism

I'm not entirely sure WHY I'm writing this but it feels like something I wanted to do so... I'm doing it? I guess? I dunno. This will probably be pretty boring so don't feel like you need to read this at all!

For some reason, I always spend this time of year being oddly introspective. Maybe it's the seasonal depression! Maybe it's the end of the year! Maybe it's the fact that I'm another year older! Who knows. Regardless, I feel like I usually spend this day in particular wishing I weren't here anymore. Just thinking about how incredibly little I've done with my life, how I know I'm just a bit too much of a person to be anything but at least a mild annoyance to everyone around me, how foolish it is to feel like these are major concerns when there are so many people who are actually suffering.

But one thing I learned this year was that I found a lot of identity in who I was to other people and to the world. I lost a huge part of my identity when I changed careers, I had the worst PTSD trigger of my life so far earlier this year that sent me into such a spiral that - for a bit - I wasn't sure I'd still have my identity as a wife, either (turns out, when your fight or flight makes you take off and cut contact with almost everyone for days it scares the shit out of your spouse and that makes it so you have some stuff to work through - who knew?)

Another thing I learned? This whole writing thing makes it better. I've always been a writer but I've never put it out there. I wrote novels that have done nothing but sit in notebooks or Word documents, just so they'd exist somewhere outside my head. In some ways, the fact that those characters didn't exist anywhere else was good motivation to keep living, even when it felt like I didn't want to. I may not have felt like real people would particularly miss me but if I died then the people in my head would die, too, and isn't that sad for them?

And then I started writing fic this spring. Until I shared my first fic on AO3, I could count on one hand who had ever read my fiction writing (besides a short story here and there that got put in a school literary magazine or something.) It was never something I really counted as a serious part of myself, it was just on the same level as other things I do for fun. I never really felt like a writer. Turns out, sharing the writing helps me feel like a writer! I think it would still help if no one read it but you lovely people have made it even better. And it's nice to have an identity that feels like it belongs to just me. No one can take it away from me. I'm in control of it and I think that's been part of what's making stuff feel better than it usually does right now.

Anyway, this isn't to try to just throw my mental health stuff out there - which feels very weird to do even though I don't feel like I've tried to hide it or anything like that? I don't know. I think I'm just doing this to say sharing these stories means a lot to me? That identity means more to me than I really understood before now? That it's been nice to find this part of myself?

Regardless, I'm happy that things are feeling better this year. I'm happy I have stories to tell. And, even if no one ever reads another word I write, I'm happy you're here, too.

Love you!! ❤️