porcelain-animatronic

[porcelain-animatronic]

the distortion of "there is potential profit we did not earn" as "there is money we lost" is fascinating and disgusting to me. "megamediaconglomerate lost $1,000,000,000 to piracy this year" is a flat out lie. it is not true. they did not have a billion dollars, that they now do not have. they felt entitled to one billion dollars, that they did not have, and still do not have. it's an infuriating perversion of the truth

[porcelain-animatronic]

don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.

[porcelain-animatronic]

On my hands and knees begging that if you don’t have a reservation to please not go to a restaurant for your date night I am begging please it’s already looking packed please just go Saturday please tomorrow is going to be war for me I am going to war as a hostess please the wait times will be so long you won’t get a table please

[porcelain-animatronic]

Reminder that since love day is tomorrow, it's about ALL forms of love. Even if it may feel like it's "romance day" or that is feels like a day exclusive for couples.

Don't forget to also celebrate and embrace: platonic love, familial love, self-love, and unconditional love (and the romantic love, as well). ❤️

[porcelain-animatronic]

Can we erase the idea that low-wage workers being visibly human on the clock is "unprofessional." It does not hurt customers to see cashiers drinking from water bottles or sitting on chairs. But water deprivation and forced standing are both established forms of torture. Hope this helps 😘

[porcelain-animatronic]

Well put. (Source: Writing About Writing Facebook page)

[porcelain-animatronic]

i remember in 6th grade public school one of my friends in the class used the word “bungalow” as often as possible and every time he needed to say “house” or “home” he swapped it for “bungalow” and me and the rest of the class thought it was so fucking funny.

so everyone in the class started using it too like saying “I brought my lunch from the bungalow today” or whatever and the teachers HATED IT.

it started getting out of hand when we were learning about the presidents and we often needed to say “the White House” so of course we would say “the White Bungalow” and the teacher was so furious and then there was a ban on the word and if anyone said it they were sent to the office and I remember the kid who started all the bullshit one time got in trouble for something petty like sharing his homework and the teacher said that she was going to call home to him mom and he just stood up and cried out “No, ms_____! Please don’t call home!”

and there was this huge silence because he just raised his voice at the teacher

and then a huge smile spread across his face and he said

“call bungalow instead.”

and I swear the whole class rioted it was amazing

[porcelain-animatronic]

i love characters with abandonment issues so strong they end up being the one doing the abandoning. the first hint they get at there being tension they run. i love when characters dont want to be left so bad they leave first. i love when characters refuse to let someone scar them twice so they scar everyone else first. you can never be left behind if you never let anyone close enough in the first place

[porcelain-animatronic]

I remember meeting a guy at a bar a year or so ago who told me he worked at the international consortium that does the porn parodies of all the top-grossing film releases. He said that the whole Barbenheimer situation presented his combine with some spectacular highs and lows. Because he said that with Barbie, right, the thing about Barbie is that there's already kind of a three-way ideatic, structural parallel between the curated artificiality of Barbie as a children's toy, the curated artificiality of Barbie as a mass market film, and the curated artificiality of pornography as a genre. Add on top of that that Barbie as a film is already feeling this tension, right where it's trying to be about a character graduating from the platonic sexlessness of a children's franchise to the functional-and-frank sexuality of being a living human woman, but it's also being bogged down in the "Everyone-is-beautiful-no-one-is-horny" aesthetic restrictions of any contemporary big-budget mass-market film so the two states end up looking pretty similar, he said. I mean the film itself is very aware of that tension, right, with that joke about how "casting Margot Robbie is the wrong move if you want to make that point," all that jazz. So, all that in mind, Barbie-themed pornography, he said, is in a weird way actually kind of complementary to the extant project, gesturing at unaddressed tensions and ideas, a dark mirror, the shadow self it wants to deny but can't, there's a lot of room to play in the space. He used the adjective "Lynchian" a couple of times, he seemed super stoked, he was talking with his hands. Oppenheimer, on the other hand. Oppenheimer he said presented a problem. Because obviously you can eroticize the detonation of an atomic bomb, we're all probably three mutuals removed from someone on this site who does exactly that, but obviously that's a niche market, and moreover it's a market that has a ton of overlap with high-minded thinkers who treat the historical use of atomic weapons against Japan with the level of gravity that atrocity demands. So they were stuck. They were really stuck. He told me that they'd been pulling their hair out for months trying to square the circle and all they had to show for it was a big whiteboard with the phrase "Grope-nheimer" written on it

[porcelain-animatronic]

Edge so blunt they give it to toddlers to cut construction paper

[porcelain-animatronic]

What are you supposed to do on this ""Valentines day""????

Among the original 69 theses posted by St. Valentine on the Wall of the Chaste, there are seven and ONLY exactly seven things you can do on St. Valentine's Day:

Trade candies made of chalk and honeybee bile, or chocolates that are 98% filler and fake skunk-gland raspberry flavoring.

Tell a secret crush that you are interested in them with a rose, and that they may therefore stay on until the next episode.

Give them a fine necklace of beads that they can introduce into their rectum to be slowly pulled out for anal stimulation.

Make a gingerbread cookie in the shape of a heart, flower, kissing lips, or your favorite Dragon Quest monster (traditionally a Drohl).

Watch a play by the great poet and playwright William Shakespeare, such as Titus Andronicus or Macbeth.

Play Elden Ring by yourself in a dark basement while ingesting unhealthy amounts of stale Fritos and expired Jolt Cola.

Chase down your lover while dressed (per the tradition of Lupercalia) as a werewolf, to make them your juicy pineapple.

Look for a weak Pisces and lock them in a heart-shaped box for weeks, then keep them forever in debt to your priceless advice.

File your taxes early, as the April 15th deadline causes frequent workload and postal delays.

[porcelain-animatronic]

for your valentine :) xoxo

[porcelain-animatronic]

On the Addams Family tv show, they said Morticia's ancestors came from Salem. We're obviously supposed to think of witches, but what if they were pirates? Imagine you're watching Black Sails, and there's the character Midshipman (or whatever) Frump. There's just something...wrong about this guy. The show never outright says he's a ghost or a black magician or anything, but you kind of get the chills every time he's on screen. When he smiles it looks like a skull. Sometimes he sings in a language that he claims is French but definitely isn't. He talks about the girl waiting for him back home in Massachusetts and she sounds just as weird, if not weirder. When Blackbeard dies, he steals his skull and the last you see of the character, he's muttering about having it plated in silver as a gift for his true love.

[porcelain-animatronic]

LIFE HACK: you can hit a strawberry with a hammer and you won't BELIEVE what happens next!

[porcelain-animatronic]

TIME TO RANDOMIZE YOUR GENITALS

Based on this post. Reblog and tag what you got on the wheel! In the event this breaches containment; I'm a monsterfucker so be warned that a good chunk of these reflect that.

[porcelain-animatronic]

The Titanoboa, is a 48ft long snake dating from around 60-58million years ago. It had a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful that it could crush a rhino. Titanoboa was so big it couldn’t even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight.

[porcelain-animatronic]

what the “eff” is Homestruck? o.O;; is it a anime? or is it a yaoi? I could totally get into it if it was yaoi xD;; >//w//>