#Alexa play “all by myself”
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On this episode of “So this is what it’s like to be Pipo.”
#perfect 10 liners#this is fine#totally not lonely#Alexa play “all by myself”#now I’m wondering since Arm and Sand live with their boyfriends where does Pipo live?#do they have certain visiting hours for him like he’s a child of divorce or?#Marly Makes Things
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"he let Andrew take him apart until he couldn't think anymore."
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BARK BaRK BARK god I love these GUYS OMFG. please. I-... guys it's so GOOD. and I've- READ IT BEFORE thbdtr anytime i read their moments I'm bLUSHING FROM IT like its the first time i'm reADING IT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#aftg#all for the game#nora sakavic aftg#nora sakavic#andrew minyard#neil josten#all for the gay#the foxhole court#aftg triology#the kings men#andriel#aftg tkm#tkm#andrew x neil#do i sometimes want the moments myself?#absolutely#its so good and i have issues#alexa- play sugar by sleep token#jk- i dont have alexa#but i am listening to sugar by sleep token on repeat rn#aftg rambles
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Just wanted to drop in and say I hope everyone in CA is staying safe. These fires are no joke and scary as hell. And those of you that have mountains of snow please send some over here I would love some.
#okay that's all#i'm basically talking to myself#but hey if i could somehow speak snow in CA into existence i'd be happy#half the world is burning and the other half is freezing#alexa play ironic
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*angela lopez voice* timothy... are you proposing to lucy???? 👀👀

#*carly catalogs#this is probably old/new news as i like to keep myself as out of the loop as possible to avoid spoilers#and bc i want the full shock value when it's airing#BUT IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING RING??????????#IS THAT A DIAMOND??????? 💍💍#ALEXA PLAY I CAN HEAR THE BELLS FROM HAIRSPRAY#consider all my sanity that is left GONE!!!! if they get engaged s7#call me loony the way i'll be tunin' 🤪🤪🤪#i mean just look at them... plotting away ... conjuring up ideas on how to best emotionally attack us#fuckin' hit me with it i'm ready 💪 (not really tho 😭)#the rookie#the rookie spoilers#the rookie season 7#the rookie bts#eric winter#melissa o'neil#tim bradford#lucy chen#chenford#otp: you know me so well
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guys if i reblog a post to add an opinion/discussion and say 'don't go into this person's askbox we're just all having a friendly discussion' that's not in fact code to go into that person's askbox telling them how they're wrong
#alexa play please please please by sabrina carpenter#like then that gives me a bad name and i'd rather give myself a bad name all by myself#some people just want to be on tumblr to vibe in THEIR space....that is acceptable#just because someone doesn't have the same opinion doesn't mean you have to jump to correct them on anon - if you have something to say#say it with your full username#also people have different opinions and that's fine! ik some people can't stand me and block me which i'm chill about they're curating#their space but i still follow loaaaaads of lovely people who i KNOW have differing opinions from me because at the end of the day i don't#want my space to be too bubbled but that's the way i'm curating it! if i see a gushy post ab a driver i dislike#that's my own fault! i'm not going to go whining in askboxes about it#and who knows! i might even gain a different perspective on something! the wonders of the internet#tldr: curate your space and don't get mad when you see a blog with a different opinion and try to 'correct' them#esp when i'm discussing it as “hey i think it's a valid opinion but i disagree here's MY take on it! but please don't go harass the OP”#this is not twitter there's no need to be reactionary and impolite it's okay to sit on things for a while
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the more i learn about rosquez the more i want to jump of a cliff ☹️
so real. welcome to the club.
that‘s the only valid reaction to rosquez truly and it‘s like….you keep on teetering on the edge of that cliff because it‘s horrifying yet gloriously, hauntingly interesting but you‘re also screaming into the void that opens itself into an abyss below because what the fuck but also…you just have to somehow keep looking, and the funny thing is, you always find something new and there are surely so many stones still left unturned and—i want to know every single foul tiny detail about them. i want every piece of dirt. i want everything. and and and the thing is you think, okay it‘s been a decade now since their fallout in 2015–but no, because wdym in 2025 valentino‘s golden vr46 academy boy pecco is going to be his arch nemesis for all lifetime‘s teammate in ducati! the narratives!! it just keeps.writing.itself. and wdym valentino still goes on podcasts and finds new details to reenact about marc because he can‘t keep marc out of his mouth if someone‘s only willing to listen!! and marc is like idgaf about that man anymore. was my hero once but after a few months i was done with him and i will continue to be:) lies! (wdym months, you yearning lying ass!!! what abt 2016? 2017? 2018 until argentina!!)
#sometimes i want to throw up when i truly think about them#:)))#but whenever i‘m too upset abt it as a marc fan i remember that marc went on a dominating win spree to become an 8x champion#and valentino had to watch it!!#because—alexa play little girl gone by chinchilla—vale ✨messed with the wrong bitch in the wrong era!✨#and i have a petty little giggle#(that song is marc‘s anthem against valentino yes yes)#but.like.they‘re just so UGH#a.a.‘s motogp#a.a.‘s rosquez#i‘m dreamily sighing thinking about possibly getting shots of valentino looking like he threw up in his mouth#while marc is dancing on the podium all reborn and happy and still as wild as ever. sigh. remember jerez 2024? how vale walked away?#i giggle about it so often to myself i‘m kind of insane indeed but like#it‘s just so GREAT#(he still stayed for the dance show though ;))
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Woke up to the weather being chilly and it’s a fresh autumn breeze and I !!!!!!!!!
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I hate time zones so much. I do not enjoy having to wait for pals to wake up ahshjajahsvag oh ur sleeping cus its 4 am? Uhm, no actually its 11 am idk what conspiracy theory u subscribe to?? asfhsjdmlajshaggsn im sorry
#side note my mom is in turkey and ive never talked to my mom while she was in another time zone and now im so confused#alexa play all by myself#meli shitposting#i have my monster and my cigs day is starting well
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I’m going through a rough breakup after the man I was supposed to marry turned out to have another girlfriend on the side (for several months) after we’ve been together for six years and as I’m crying post breaking up with him my emotionally constipated mother just texts me

And you know what? I love her but probably not the best advice considering my job is literally stopping domestic violence🤣🤣🤣🤣
#breakup#relationship#send prayers#oh lord#trailer park boys#meme#dank memes#mom meme#cheating boyfriend#dump his ass#so i did#dramatic sobbing#love my mom#emotional constipation#my mom doesn’t understand emotions#but she tries#comfort#i can’t#alexa play all by myself
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this is one of those nostalgic days i find myself strolling down memory lane reflecting about all the lost mutuals and friendships here, and it hit me Hard
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◈ @destineden
Beautiful and rootless, great sprays of chrysanthemums decorated the shining foyer, their slender stems bending under the weight of their blooms. Beautiful and rootless, Awa strode through the generic opulence of the hotel. Duty’s crown did not weigh on them so heavily; they navigated their transient existence with flawless, infuriating poise. Still every instinct in the mercenary screamed that he must protect them, shield them from the shadows that lurked within the asphalt veins of the city. His devotion was evident in his healing bullet wound, knitted into its gory roots.
Hanzo was pinned silently to their side as the elevator ferried them skyward, and he fell into step with them when they exited, positioning himself between their sleek form and the seamless floor-to-ceiling windows. Awash with rivulets of rain, a skyline of monoliths was blurred, faraway holographic advertisements and neon light diluted like lurid watercolours on the glass. To his mind, it added to the intimacy, the sense of privacy they had once craved. To his mind, electric tension crackled between them even now.
Awa’s suite was halfway to the heavens. High enough to escape the wailing sirens of the megalopolis below, evading the pulse of the city that so often registered like a throbbing wound, a dull headache pounding behind the eyes. There had been a time when they would have retreated together, scraped away their veneer and hung up their guard at the shadowy threshold between their public and private spheres.
Now, Awa bid him a good evening, their tone perfectly polite and devastatingly impersonal. Speaking, but saying nothing. They moved to slip inside, an elegant hand extended towards the sensor, triggering the door to close behind them. They meant to shut him out with the rest of the world, to leave him to his duty of standing vigil. Their sentinel, their shield. An employee.
Something in Hanzo bared its teeth, his carefully constructed façade of stoicism splintering as he thrust his foot into the narrowing gap, jamming the door open. Even before he spoke, he had ripped away his mask. Long suppressed and hidden beneath the armour of professionalism, a swell of unspoken words clawed their way to the still waters of his surface.
“No,” he hissed in a steely whisper. “Enough of this.”
With burgeoning resolve and boldness, he surged forward, squeezing inside the hallowed space, walking Awa back until their shoulder blades kissed a marble wall. They need only raise the alarm and he would be expelled for his transgression, for taking such liberty. Instead, they remained a picture of filtered, unflappable calm, their luminescence heightened by the equally artificial glow that bathed the interior.
“I will not be shackled by silence. I will not play these games.” Hanzo’s voice was a fusion of frustration and raw vulnerability. “Is it not clear that I am prepared to die for you? And not out of duty – not because of something as frivolous as a salary.”
It was an insult to his love, to all they had. If there had been any silver lining to his bleeding out on the concrete, it had been that Awa had held him, their glossy, plastic demeanour crumbling into something authentic. That was what he desired, more than anything. Something real.
Slowly, he raised a hand, traced a knuckle along their jaw. His heart thundered within the bony vault of his chest, its rhythm matching the torrential downpour that drummed against the walls. A maelstrom of emotion swirled in the accursed no-man’s-land between them. Hanzo had been the one to set the fire, now he burned in it.
“Awa… my feelings for you never changed. Tell me, did yours die in Hanamura?”
#alexa play ' i will always love you '#i still haven't played cyberpunk so please let me know if i'm butchering anything#hello hi my name is puffin and every day i embarrass myself in full technicolour in front of all my friends#◈ — ic; hanzo#hanzo and awa tbt#destineden#◈ › cyberpunk verse
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You know, it is horrifically ironic, almost funny if it wasn’t so sad, how, despite all my intrusive thoughts and compulsions about always making sure to say goodbye to my loved ones incase something bad happened when I was away/asleep I never DID get to say goodbye to my dog.
She still passed away in the night and because of circumstances I don’t want to talk about because it’s complicated and generally just fucked asf I just.
Didn’t get to say goodbye.
At all.
Isn’t that fucked up?
#isnt that fucked up#oh the irony#the irony#ironic#grief#pet grief#ocd#intrusive thoughts#compulsion#compulsions#alexa play#alexa play ironic by bo burnham#i use humour to cope leave me alone#you can laugh at the irony of this post or do whatever with it idc#also if you’re really THAT curious what the circumstances were#i had already started to grieve her like a year or so before she died because of how bad her health was#and because of my own aversions to certain smells and textures i physically could not bring myself to hold nor pet her in her last days#judge me all you want#i probably deserve it#also i was in the middle of studying for important exams when she passed so#my parents decided it would be better to NOT FUCKING TELL ME that they had a feeling she wouldn’t make it through the night#motherfuckers even had the gall to ask me after telling me about it whether I WANTED to come with them to the crematorium#or if i would rather focus on studies#what the fuck#how is that even an option you considered#btw they werent pressuring me towards the studies decision im just appalled they eveb considered it an option as something i would#potentially choose#look i know they had my best interests in mind and they were doing their best to manage a shitty situation#but man its just a little fucked up i have to alteast acknowledge that right?#Asher’s Ramblings
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the face you make when your husband ( @rcsechild ) disappears again and you’re left all alone 😔
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boys planet terrified me it was the most appalling thing I’ve ever seen ,,,ollie can do it! manifesting but he doesn’t even need it trust 😞😞😞
ITS AKMOST NEW YEARSSSS BAE THIS IS SO EXCITING!! also u saying u call me sunny got me giggling that’s so cute :(( ANYWAYS HUGS AND KISSES NEVER FEEL RUSHED TO POST!! we r all ur biggest fans and we are willing to wait for as long as we need for any update form u we love u xoxoxoxo
-☀️🤍
no bc bp was my first survival show and it literally changed the chemistry of my brain…it’s insane how the jebis mean so much to me to a point where they rival groups i’ve stanned for years atp, like i didn’t think i could love a group this much ☹️ AND YES!! ollie will do it i’m convinced but the memories of bp elims make me so anxious so i’m still praying and manifesting 😭
YES NEW YEARS!! time flew by so fast omg…today’s also the anniversary of here i am which is INSANE??? like wow….it’s been a year….wowowowow….i’m mentally still stuck in 2020 tbh so the fact that it’ll be 2024 in a few days is so crazy to me 😮💨
bae i will literally KISS you you better stop!! this is making me so jsjsdkkdkdkdkfkc 🫠🫠🫠 no but tysm :(🫶🏻 idk there are people on here who post like daily and i’m so envious of them my brain doesn’t work like that ☹️ but i plan on posting before 2024!! lol ilysm MWAH



#maise’s mail !#☀️ nonnie !#i’m gonna osten to kidz zone now bc i’m all in my feels for the jebis again#hated here i am when it came out but i’ve stockholm shndromed myself into liking it#sunny my pookie 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 mwah#alexa play kiss by dojaejung
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I'm gonna let my crazy show for a second
I need to talk about how fucking beautiful Fort looked this episode and why, because it's not like I just woke up today and noticed how stupidly attractive he is for the first time ever, I already knew that.
This production is making choices that I really, really fucking appreciate. The most immediately noticeable of which is that they didn't whitewash him at ALL which just makes me so indescribably happy. It's all beautiful golden skin all the time and it's fucking amazing.
But it's not just that they didn't whitewash him, look at his cheek. You can see his skin texture. And it's not just a one-off because he and Peat were gonna play in the ocean later in the scene and the makeup people didn't wanna apply makeup just so it could get washed off by the saltwater.
You can see it here too when he and Peat are back inside. You could use the excuse of "oh well he's meant to be freshly showered so it makes sense that he doesn't have a lot of makeup on". And to that I say, when has that ever stopped a production from caking makeup on their "freshly showered" characters? Half the time their hair isn't even wet when they're meant to be drying it.
Beyond being vastly appreciated by me, the fact that we can see skin texture is also an excellent character detail, and it's deliberate. It wouldn't make any sense for a person who spends their whole day outside sweating and getting in the ocean to look perfectly airbrushed all the time.
It makes sense for someone who spends their whole day inside working on their computer to look airbrushed though, which Peat does. Especially in the first episode when he arrives on the island.
But you know what?
You can see Peat's skin texture too. They put more makeup on him than they do Fort but they don't cake it on. I cannot even TELL you how happy that makes me.
But this...this is what I really wanna talk about.
Do you see them?
DO YOU SEE THEM? DO YOU SEE THE BEAUTIFUL NORMAL STRETCH MARKS ON THIS MAN'S SHOULDER AND CHEST? DO YOU KNOW HOW AMAZING IT IS THAT WE CAN SEE THEM, THAT THEY DIDN'T EDIT THEM OUT IN POST OR SLAP MAKEUP ON THEM TO HIDE THEM?
*pauses to get myself together*
Listen I am someone who notices every single little mole, freckle, and birthmark that someone has because I think they're beautiful. It's probably concerning how often I notice them and how happy it makes me when I do. And it really makes me angry that these completely normal parts of someone's skin are seen as imperfections or only desirable when they're a certain size or on a certain part of their body. And you know what else always gets labeled as an imperfection? As something that has to be hidden?
Stretch marks.
Every single human being alive has stretch marks because every single human being alive has skin but for some reason, people are made to feel ashamed of them. They're made to feel like stretch marks are these unsightly things that they only have for x, y, or z reason.
Our skin stretches as we grow! Of course we all have stretch marks! All of us! Even the fittest, most shredded person you can think of has stretch marks! They aren't a consequence of your weight or how much muscle you have, they're part of having a body! They're NORMAL.
Do you understand how big a deal it is that we can see Fort's? That we can see every aspect of his skin, including and especially its actual fucking tone? This man--I just--just--
I WANT TO EAT HIM WITH A SPOON
I love that they didn't make him get shredded for this role I love how beefy he looks I love that he looks like a real person I love that you can see his shirt tan I love his fucking stretch marks I love the mole on his chest and the one on the back of his upper arm and the ones on his face I love love love love love!!!
Alexa, play "Piel Morena" by Thalia
#THIS MAN IS MAKING ME LOSE MY WHOLE MIND AND I'M MAKING IT EVERYONE'S PROBLEM#fort thitipong#love sea#love sea the series
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fool ; jude bellingham





summary ♡ betting on the phenomenon of unrequited feelings, you and jude have never dared to make the first move with the other until a reunion forces new questions to be answered.
pairing ♡ jude bellingham x fem!reader
content ♡ 18+, smut, friends to lovers, alcohol consumption, cursing, kissing, both jude & reader are pining idiots, fingering, p in v sex, marking, missionary, unprotected sex (jude pulls out but still pls practise safe sex!!)
a/n ♡ she's baaaack :D but first☝🏽alexa play fool by nct 127 !!!! the lyric "you’re a goddess but i’m a fool, what should i do?" was written for this fic in particular i just know it was :] anyway hehe this fic is based off this request so tysmm to anon for sending such an exciting prompt !! i hope yous enjoy 🫶🏽💗 WAIT P.S this isn’t proofread bc i lowkey am not rocking with it so i didn’t wanna put myself thru having to read it again & again … im sorry for any mistakes :’)

you had just gotten off work to a stream of relentless texts from your best friends’ groupchat — phone pinging off the rails whilst you were on shift, muffled buzzes from your bag making you wonder what on earth was worth blowing up in that whatsapp group on a random friday afternoon.
on the train back home, you tap open the green app, anticipating yourself easily spending the entire journey catching up on the three hundred-plus texts from your closest mates. you decide to start right from the beginning of the influx, thumb scrolling nonstop and eyes blurring from the rapid movement until they focus back on the screen where you stop, finally having reached the destination of the first text that set it all off.
it was from none other than jude bellingham, and you were nearly embarrassed by the way your face instantly lit up upon reading his message. the groupchat’s golden boy had popped up after weeks of minimal contact, asking if he could take everyone for a night out tomorrow to make up for it, stating that he finally has some small gaps of free time between hectic pre-season schedules to allow him to do so.
it honestly warmed your heart that the first thing he wants away from football is to see you all. you’d been a band of good friends since the first year of secondary school, contact not necessarily strained as you all had a lot of love for each other but rather unspokenly reduced after leaving school two years ago and falling into busy university or career ventures.
instead of scrolling through to read and react to the plethora of follow-up texts after his, you ignore them and jump straight to typing your reply to his invitation, casting aside that nagging voice asking you: doesn’t that seem too desperate?
no, right? i’m just accepting his invitation, getting straight to the point, the convo ended half an hour ago anyway. you’re arguing with yourself now, feeling the need to give unnecessary excuses to nonexistent accusations. if you were to be honest with yourself, you were always self-conscious of the way you behaved around jude, even now debating on whether to add your signature heart emoji or if it’d come across as you trying too hard given your feelings for him; albeit them being feelings that no one knows about, not even him. you made sure for it to be that way.
with a mental note to get over yourself, you send an affirmative ‘i’m up for it!’, signature heart included, and quickly shut off your phone. heart beating so rapidly, you scolded yourself for getting so worked up over a mere reply and for definitely not getting over yourself. god knows how you’re going to handle seeing him in person.
a sudden double buzz from your device does nothing to calm you down, instead dampening your hands with sweat when you grab it and see a pair of messages from him.
jude 🌟: heyy i’m so glad you can make it tomorrow :)
jude 🌟: can’t wait to see you!! ❤❤
he had messaged you separately for some reason and he had included two hearts… the overthinking starts for you again, without even beginning to think about what to reply this time, and you question why he couldn’t have just replied to you in the groupchat or why he couldn’t have just left the end of the messages with a ‘x’ like he usually does or why he would even say what he said in the last message. mind frantic and unable to clear itself, you thank yourself for having your read receipts turned off so you can have your mini meltdown without worrying about jude knowing you’d seen his messages multiple minutes ago. god, you were down so bad.
you force yourself to open the messages app and send the most casual reply you can type.
you: can’t wait to see you too! ❤
you try to keep it short, sweet and nonchalant even if your fingers are itching to type more – more about how much you had missed him, more about what he was planning to wear tomorrow night so that maybe you could match your own outfit with him, more about your true, unfiltered feelings for him. it’s pathetic really; you hadn’t seen him in two years and the first thing you wanted to do was throw yourself at him, spilling all the secrets you’d been holding close for so many years. you leave it at that, put your phone on do not disturb mode and head on home, waiting for the long hours of friday evening to pass and saturday night to arrive.
***
and so saturday night rolls around and you just about finish touching up your makeup and smoothing out your dark blue dress before the doorbell rings, and you’re whisked away to the club by a couple of your girlfriends.
as soon as you step your high heels into the building, you’re met with the sight of flowing booze and the noise of noughties r&b beats bouncing around the brightly lit walls. dragged by the hands of your friends, you find yourself standing next to a booth at the back of the club, the rest of the group now welcoming you latecomers with a loud cheer.
“finally, girls. you took your time!” one of your male friends remarks, ushering you all to sit down.
“oh god, what have we missed?” you beam, trying to scan the group amongst the strobing lights to catch a glimpse of the person you were really there for.
“nah, you’re just in time because… first round’s on mister madrid!”
the callout breaks your friend group into a raucous holler as your gaze fixes onto the six foot-one footballer who stands up with an amused grin and a sigh of feigned defeat. your heart quickens and your smile turns into a state of near disbelief over how good jude looks right now – graphic white t-shirt hugging his biceps in all the right places and hanging over a pair of smart-casual black trousers.
“yeah, yeah, anything for my groupies,” he winks at no one in particular but your brain almost convinces you that he was looking at you while doing it. you send a shy smile his way just in case but what he says next has your mouth running dry. “help us out, will ya, y/n?”
you hesitate for a second too long for your liking, stumbling over your words while your friends peer at you. “uh… uh-huh, yeah, of course.” you answer as quick as you can, standing up on your feet slowly as to not trip over your now-shaking legs and send yourself flying into jude, and to avoid embarrassing yourself more than you think you already have.
he responds with a grateful smile and you follow him to the bar where he places an order for a round of drinks and some shots to be delivered to the group by the two of you. there’s an odd unfamiliarity to the silence between you both and you realise that you aren’t normally this quiet around jude, and neither is he around you; you would always joke that he’d be eligible to talk for england if he wasn’t already playing football for them. he’d retort with a comment about how his ears could almost fall off with the amount of chatting you do, and you’d dryly reply with a ‘well, they’re too big for your head anyway. look at the size of them!’ the pair of you were always as thick as thieves in the eyes of everyone else. which is why you didn’t expect it to be like this, especially after two years of not seeing each other – there was so much you wanted to catch up on from his world and so much you wanted to share from yours. you decidedly gain some courage and take the initiative to spark some conversation, get something going at least.
“soo, how have you been, then?” you’re both facing the bar, your head barely tilting in jude’s direction to indicate that yes, it is him that you’re talking to and not some random like he assumes you are with the way you’re positioned away from him, eyes just about turning to steal a glance of his figure but not to hold eye contact. “how’s la vida española?”
jude finds amusement in your sudden flaunt of the spanish language, a smile breaking out on his face, unseen to you since he’s still facing the same direction that you are, preoccupying his eyes with the myriad of bottles on the shelves while his mind searches for an apt reply.
“yeah, it’s been great, i think i wanna stay there forever,” jude laughs, his fingers tapping on the black surface of the bar. you can’t help the selfish feeling of your heart dropping at his confession. “i miss you, though, y’know… a lot.”
this one confession forces your whole body to turn itself towards him, eyes now chasing after his to seek some form of sincerity, to see if he was just messing about or if he really meant what he just said. he shifts his head to face you now, a bashful look painted onto his features. the expectant silence says it all really; of course i mean it.
you gulp and decide to break the quietness with a sarcastic, jesting “ugh…”, jude’s face dropping at what he thinks is genuine disgust from you. you realise your attempt to denounce the awkwardness has backfired.
“oh my god, you dickhead, i’m joking,” how is it that mere moments ago you were shaking at the sheer real-life presence of him but now you’d transformed into having this confident playfulness? and all of it without a drop of alcohol in your system as well – you’re quietly proud of yourself. “i missed you too, jude… a lot.” you coyly repeat his words.
upon your turn of the confession, the bartender sets down your drink orders and the two of you wordlessly carry the trays over to where your friends are situated, the silence way more comfortable now that you’re both basking in assurance, unbeknown to the other that your hearts were racing at a hundred miles per hour.
***
not even two hours and an innumerable amount of shots later, you’re all a drunken mess; definitely not a surprise to a single one of you. what is a surprise is the way you’re strewn across jude, right leg wrapped around his left, head on his chest, swirling and sipping from what’s clearly an empty glass to any sober, sane person. you grumble and mutter a complaint about the lack of liquor in the booth, taking it upon yourself to head to the bar and order another round for everyone.
“i’ll come with you,” jude announces over the pounding of the music, standing up so quickly that his next five steps are staggered and he has to cling onto your arm to steady himself. “i’m fine, i’m okay.” he assures nobody that asked.
the two of you stumble your way into the path of the bar, determined to drink until the sun comes up and forget every strand of stress until the hangovers come knocking. jude’s soft grip on your arm has you being led in the opposite direction all of a sudden, though.
“uhm, where are we going?” you question, head still turned to where the bar is located, about to ask him if he was so hammered he couldn’t walk in a simple straight line to get to where you’d planned to go. “jude?”
he’s silent, save for humming his way to his desired destination, and you question if he even knows where he’s leading you. before you make the choice of going along with him or leaving his clearly confused self to go cop your next cocktail, you find yourself in the disabled toilets, pushed up against the sink with the door not even shut properly, gasping at how rough jude is handling your body compared to his soft touches from before, and how close his face is to yours, warm breath fanning the skin of your lips. you weren’t strictly against it all but how the hell have you ended up like this? The alcohol and the questions come at you fast, dizzying your brain but you can’t help but feel so keenly anticipative.
“i’m sorry, i just…” he pulls away from you, eyes fluttering closed so he can re-evaluate his actions, exhaling through his nose as if he was letting go of all doubts before continuing. “am i okay to do this?” he places his hands on your waist, pushing himself back into your space, his full lips more or less about to take yours. you have to refrain from letting the effects of alcohol take over your tongue and uttering back with a breathy ���you can do whatever you want to me’.
instead, you answer with an earnest, eager nod, inviting his lips to finally do that one thing you had been dreaming of for so long, to kiss yours so silly that they’re left with the imprint of him. and jude does just that.
his mouth takes in yours so determinedly, shyness and hesitation now long-dissolved feelings for you both as your hands find home around the back of his neck, pushing his head further onto you, feeling the need to taste him more and more until you’re both consumed by each other.
it’s a messy makeout, noses bumping and teeth clashing, but it’s oh so hot, the way he gasps into your mouth from breathlessness and pleasure, running and gripping his large hands over the material adorning your waist and hips as the need to rip it off you nearly overtakes him. to you, he’s so utterly intoxicating that a gallon of alcohol would pale in comparison to how dizzy his skin on yours makes you feel.
you release a moan at the meagre thought of jude all over your body, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue over yours, filthy noises of wetness and carnality from the both of you reaching high pitch as jude somehow simultaneously pushes you against the sink and pulls you against his chest, his manhandling of you getting you even more hot and bothered before you’re both interrupted by the hub of people passing by and huddling right outside the bathroom, their self-occupied shouts and cheers dragging you out of the bubble that the two of you had wrapped yourselves in, almost sobering you up on the spot.
you push jude out of your way, gentle but abrupt, and give him a look of apologetic regret. “i-i’m sorry,” you say, jitterily walking past him and exiting the room without a second glance or word, heading straight to the booth where your friends are hollering and hurraying, occupied with shot-drinking contests.
your girlfriends offer to go home with you when you lie and tell them you’re not feeling very well, but you decline them, instead telling them to have fun on your behalf and letting them know that you’ll try to text them once you get home safely. you can tell they’re confused by your shaken state and the absence of jude but you grab your bag and make your exit before the interrogation can even begin to brew.
you manage to grab a taxi back home, surprised by how competent you are despite the alcohol in your bloodstream and confusion in your brain. on the way there, you can’t stop the bouncing of your knee nor the racing of your psyche, asking yourself how and why whatever went down with jude went down like that. you curse at yourself for being so impulsive in starting and finishing the whole ordeal with him in the way that you did – you don’t know if it’s the empty, depressive drunk thoughts or just clarity from the whole jude thing that makes you feel like there’s no coming back from this at all. you feel like crawling into your bed and never coming out from it ever again.
the taxi driver has to call for your attention multiple times until you reach earth again and pay him the journey’s fee. you go skulking all the way up to your front door, only letting out a breath that you feel like you’ve been holding since the beginning of the night once the door shuts behind you.
the rest of the night is quiet and orderly for you, telling yourself to not invite any more chaos into your brain and to simply drink some water and to go to sleep. waking up tomorrow morning is going to be painful in more ways than one.
***
you spend the rest of the weekend nursing a ferocious hangover and a frazzled heart, only contacting your friends to tell them that you got home fine and to joke that you probably need a century or two for this hangover to be gone. you thank the high heavens that they don't bring up the topic of you and jude
you try not to think too much about jude, you really do, but sunday night has a couple of taps landing you on the instagram app and you learn that he’s already back in spain, pictures of him in training sliding across your phone screen on his story along with selfies with his teammates. usually, you tap that small red heart at the bottom and hope that he sees it amongst his millions and millions of notifications, a tiny ritual of yours that now has you feeling so pathetic that you don’t dare to do it anymore.
running a hand over your weary face, you set your phone down and opt to nap the night away, finding comfort in the non-intrusion from your friends and the no contact from jude, hoping to keep yourself busy and distracted with whatever the work week brings.
a ring from the doorbell rips through your flat just as you’re organising your pillows, forcing you to stop what you’re doing and ponder who could be at the door on a sunday while the clock ticks some minutes past one o’clock. you don’t recollect ordering any food nor are you expecting a delivery, especially not this late.
trudging your way to the front door, you open it to find jude bellingham standing there and you feel an instant pang of regret, wishing you had peeked through the window to see who it could be, wishing you had pretended to not be in, wishing the ground would open up right now and swallow you whole – anything to escape the confrontation that you’re now having to face. your face heats up with embarrassment and nerves but you manage to rupture the silence before your mouth can turn dry.
“j-jude, hi,” you try and keep your greeting as polite and cordial as you can, even when all you really want to do is to chase him off your doorstep. “what are you doing here?”
your query has jude visibly gulping, hands fiddling with each other as he attempts to hold eye contact with you, his vision a bit blurry from exhaustion. “y/n… sorry, can i come in?”
you oblige, holding the door open wide before you guide him to the living room and invite him to sit down on the plushness of your sofa, settling yourself on the opposite end of it. you silently prompt him to say what he came here to say with a nod of your head.
“uhm, i’m sorry for turning up unannounced, and so late…” ever the courteous. “i had to sneak away from the lads and catch the last flight to here so it was all a bit down to the wire.” he lets out a small, uneasy laugh.
you cut off his rambling with a curt “what do you want, jude?” you don’t mean for it to sound so rude but you still hold the attitude of wanting to get this over and done with, already feeling annoyance at yourself for even letting him into your home.
“right, yeah, i actually wanted to talk about what happened on saturday,” he goes back to fiddling with this thumbs, eyebrows furrowed but he avoids looking at you this time. not that you can blame him because your own vision shifts to anywhere but his direction. “i’m so sorry for making you uncomfortable a-and please tell me if this is inappropriate, but i haven’t stopped thinking about last night, i haven't stopped thinking about you, i-i’m sorry, i know this is all so silly and you probably don’t even feel the same bu-”
you stop him right there, this time with good reason as you can’t bear holding back your real emotions, not when he’s practically given you the green light to spill the contents of your heart.
“no, jude, i didn’t feel uncomfortable at all,” you assure him, gaze now on the footballer in front of you and you almost can’t believe the words leaving your mouth right now. “i wanted it to happen, i’m glad it happened, you know, i think i’ve had dreams about it happening,” you try and offset any tension with a timid chuckle before turning quite pensive. “i really like you, jude, i have for a long time… god, sorry, this is so embarrassing.” you return to making light of the situation you’ve put yourself in, the timidness sinking back in as quick as the relief lifts you up.
jude moves closer to your now-cowering body, knees touching as your heartbeat surges with worry and self-consciousness all wrapped up into a tight, miserable ball. he puts his sweat-dampened hands into yours and squeezes in silent assurance before raising them up to his lips and laying a chaste kiss on the heated skin.
he can’t help but break out into a sweet smile, eyes threatening to crinkle at the edges. your face is still sketched with tension and now confusion has joined the mix.
“i can’t tell you how long i’ve waited to hear that from you, how much i needed to hear it,” your eyes meet his, widening in surprise a little. “i’m a fool for not telling you sooner… i like you, y/n, i really like you.” he repeats your own words back at you, leaning in with a smattering of amusement dancing in his vision.
“can i kiss you?” the question leaves your lips faster than you can even process it in your brain.
jude wastes no time in replying with a firm pressing of his mouth on yours, deepening it within seconds, the need to cement his feelings for you being told through the way he cradles your head in his hand, leaning you back onto the arm of the sofa to further intensify the kiss. your lips move along with his, the soft weight of his body pressed against yours making you whine into his mouth in ecstasy.
he lifts off of you with a puckering of his swollen lips, the both of you taking the chance to draw in some air and attempt to regulate your breathing pattern.
“please take me to the bedroom,” you beg, breathless from the sheer sight of his dark eyes and pretty pout. there’s no fight nor denial from jude as he picks you up and prompts you to wrap your legs around his waist, quickening his pace once you point in the direction of your room.
he lays you down on the bed so gently, lips latching onto yours once again before they travel down your jaw and over the warm skin of your neck. the light touch of his fluttering eyelashes married with the pressure of his soft lips has your head spinning, hands tentatively laid on top of your sheets since you don’t trust yourself to not grab his head and bring it back to your lips. his fingers tinker with the waistband of your pyjama trousers, stretching it off your skin before he asks permission to peel them down your legs.
once they’re cast away in some corner of your bedroom, jude divides your legs by the underside of your knees, tucking himself into the now available space between them, turning onto his side and resting on his left forearm. he leaves a small kiss over your covered cunt and you try your best to not just clamp his head in between your thighs and smother him with your growing wetness here and now.
“need to get you ready, baby,” the sudden mention of the petname has you throbbing, squirming even more when he traces a line from your clit down to where there’s a small damp spot forming on the dark material of your underwear.
“jude, please,” you whine out, lifting your hips in a desperate bid to get the boy to strip your lower half completely.
he shushes you in his own charming way, making sure to comply with your demand by getting up onto his knees and discarding your soaked panties in a matter of seconds, the cold air generated by his large hands whipping them off you hits your exposed pussy, making you hiss through gritted teeth.
jude returns to the gap between your spread legs, sitting back but still on his knees, his higher position causing you to shift onto resting your body weight on the palms of your hands in order to peer at his actions – which start with him re-tracing that same teasing line from your aching clit to your hole with his thumb, the feeling now so intense on your unclothed skin. he hums in what sounds to be satisfaction when you throw your head back in pleasure, taking it in his favour to slip his index finger into the tightness of your pussy.
you release a guttural groan at the feeling of finally having some part of him inside you; you of course don’t want this to be the only part but you’re still so very grateful, so fucking grateful he’s now rubbing at your clit in delicious rounds, thumb tracing circle after circle while his fingers form a pair, pistoning in and out of you so easily due to the way your cunt douses itself with every move of jude’s.
“fuck, baby,” jude moans at the sight of his soaked digits every time they barely pull out of that pretty pussy, his thumb torturing your sensitive bud increasingly so, the cries and whimpers spilling from your lips an incentive for him. “feel so good and tight around my fingers, can’t imagine how you’ll feel around my dick.”
his words have you absolutely reeling, writhing against his hand to try and chase that moment of release.
“please, jude, i’m so close,” you’re warning and demanding at the same time, almost begging him to not stop or even think about moving his fingers out of you. “god, please, i need it,”
jude suddenly retracts both of his hands, leaving you bare and empty. “no way, baby, need to have you cumming on my cock or not cumming at all,” he comments with a shake of his head, denying you the opportunity of leaking your cum over his hand. upon seeing your bewildered face, he makes up for it by putting on a show of licking your juices clean off his fingers, the digits popped inside his mouth and dragged right back out with a low moan, him praising the way you taste.
“move up the bed for me, angel,” he orders, watching you while he stands up and unclothes himself as quick as he can. you scoot backwards, legs still spread open like they’ve been locked in that position, before pulling your oversized t-shirt off of you, chest void of a restricting bra . “good girl,” he praises, crawling up to hover his body over your laying one, cock in hand as your legs come to wrap around him. “are you still okay with this? we can stop at any point, okay?”
the sincerity of his voice has you melting. some would remark that the bar is in hell for you but the truth is that you hadn’t been with anyone like this for more months than you could count on your hands. you've been touch-starved and lacking words of affirmation for so long, and you needed something to be only about you for once.
“i’m more than okay with this,” you smile up at him, nodding to make your approval fully known. “and yes, i know i can stop you if i need to.”
jude reciprocates the same smile before leaning in and smothering your lips with his, pushing his cock into your tight wetness, so tight that your pussy almost pushes him back out, not used to being penetrated by something so thick.
“oh my god!” the feeling of tightness/fullness has you both gasping out the same thing at the same time, erupting into quiet giggles when the two of you realise your matching reactions.
jude’s mouth finds its way back home in the embrace of your lips and you swear this is heaven, the way his cock slides in and out of your sopping cunt, set at such a perfect pace, the slight friction causing you to grow even wetter – the filth of it all contrasts so well with the sweetness of his muffled moans and tender kisses on your neck, moving down onto your collarbones and tits.
a particularly harsh thrust of his cock has your back arching, chest pushed up to his heated face, and he takes this golden opportunity to wrap his lips around your erect nipple, spending a good while sucking and tugging on the skin around it. you’re amazed at how his cock doesn’t relent inside you, the speed still so quick and consistent even when he’s so occupied in painting splotches on your tits with his mouth.
“there,” he pants out, pulling his head back and marvelling at his own creation. “now, there’s no doubt that you’re really mine.” the smile he gives you is a killer.
you whine at his declaration of you belonging to him, scratching at his shoulders and calling out his name to indicate that it’s all too much for you, that you’re so, so close to cumming on his cock and really giving him what he wants rather than pleasing yourself. you figure that’s you gone now; you’re more willing to put the boy above your own needs because you’re down that fucking bad for him.
“fuck, jude, i’m gonna cum!” you sob, your moans becoming more frequent and higher pitched, legs starting to shake from the intoxicating mix of exhaustion and delight. you’re frantically chanting “please, please, please” into his mouth which parts to swallow your whimpering, wet lips kissing your trembling ones.
“go on, baby, cum for me, cum all over this cock,” he groans out, eyes squeezing shut when the feeling of your pussy clamping down tightly on his thickness proves too much to handle, face finding refuge in the crook of your neck. he knows you don’t need his permission, he would’ve let you orgasm as many times as you wanted to, would’ve let you use him like your own personal sex toy, but the words were only there to keep you going when his hips felt like faltering – he needed you cumming on his cock like he promised before, and he wasn’t about to fuck it up himself.
a final scream rips from your throat as you cum hard around jude, pussy clenching and pulsating around his cock so sporadically you thought you were having two orgasms at once. jude can’t handle it anymore, pulling out with a myriad of moans as he pumps his shaft with a hand, decorating the expanse of your lower abdomen with warm, white liquid. you’re still squirming, slowly trying to wheeze out the remaining whimpers from your lungs which you’re finding hard to do with the way jude pants and moans above you, the boy so spent he can’t help but breathe like he hasn’t had access to air for the past hour.
he flops down by your side, arms and legs sprawled like a starfish, chest rising and falling as he attempts to recuperate from the mindblowing sex you two just had. the image is so unserious that you can’t stifle your giggles but you decide to take another step of courage to lay on your side resting your head on his shoulder, fingers stroking his abs and playing with the curly hairs of his happy trail.
the room is quiet now with the scent of sex wafting through your nostrils on occasion but it’s the most comfortable silence you’ve experienced with jude, the feeling of his hot skin on yours so soothing to you.
after a period of panting, jude clears his throat and your ears prick up at the presence of sound. he turns his head towards you and you lift yourself up and off him out of instinct – you want full attention on him.
“i don’t want this to be a one-time kinda thing, y’know,” he proclaims, biting his lip from saying too much in one go.
“what, is this your way of saying you want round two already?” you joke, nose crinkling at the way he rolls his eyes playfully.
“shut up,” he delivers a poke to your side. “i mean, well, i don’t want either one of us to see this as a spur-of-the-moment thing, i just…” you look at him expectantly, silently telling him to continue. “i want you to be my girlfriend, y/n.”
you’re nearly knocked back by his words, wondering if they’re real or if you’re simply just hearing things. you thought dialogue like that, coming from him, was only reserved for your imagination, kept secret and only spoken to you in late-night mental scenarios that would comfort you on your way to slumberland.
you let out a laugh that’s an odd mix of relief and disbelief, quickly replying “yes, yes, of course” to his awaiting face, which releases a look of relief itself before jude captures your lips with such passion you’re both knocked back onto the plush pillows, giggling into each other’s mouths until your hands find themselves running down the defined muscles of his abdomen and over his hardening cock.

#girlies i’ve never had alcohol in my life so i hope the way i wrote reader & jude being drunk was ok !!! 🫶🏽#then again i’ve never had sex in my life and i write extensively about it so u know . 😭😭😭#guys imagine if before every smut fic i wrote a disclaimer like ‘guys i-i’ve never had sex before but i hope i did okay with this 🥺🥺' LMAO#ALSO omg im sorry abt the inconsistencies in tone + tempo i legit wrote this over a 5 month period + came back to it at times when i didnt#feel like writing + i was just tryna get to the good bit iykwim ( ͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡ °)#˗ˏˋ 📝 ˎˊ˗#˗ˏˋ 💬 ˎˊ˗#jude bellingham#jude bellingham smut#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham x fem!reader#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham x y/n#football imagine#footballer smut#footballer imagine
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