#Alejandro being a simp as usual

[dramaticallytotal]

Alenoah Relationship Headcanons

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

• Alejandro has like a bazillion pet names for Noah and they all have different meanings/context:

Mi amor (my love)- most common but especially in front of Alejandro's family and said in a more smug manner in front of José

Mi vida (my life) - when he's particularly emotional, usually on holidays

Bebé (baby/sweetheart) - another common one. Used most in greeting Noah, whether it's over the phone or Alejandro just got home from class.

Media naranja (my half orange) - when he's in trouble and trying to talk his way out of it.

Mi Rey (my king) - when he's being clingy or feels like Noah needs to be worshipped.

Cariño (honey) - another greeting for Noah, used more when they are around their friends or people in general.

Mi Pequeño Zorro ( My Little Fox) - when Noah is being clever or smart.

Etc.

• Noah had pet names for Alejandro, too, just not as much.

Babe - most common and used most around friends and family

Hot Stuff - it makes Alejandro laugh

En anbe (My love) - when Noah is feeling sappy

Anbin (Beloved) - when Noah is being particularly affectionate and used around his family.

Eel - when Alejandro is being mischievous and Noah needs to humble him.

Mi Sol - when he's in trouble and trying to talk himself out of it.

• Alejandro used to sleep on top of the comforter until he realized it was not ideal for cuddling with Noah. He ends up kicking it off of himself in the middle of the night, but that's fine. He gets to wake up with Noah in a blanket cocoon in his arms.

• Noah has a collection of blankets. They have a whole hallway closet dedicated to them. But they keep his weighted blankets in their room.

• They have three dogs and one cat.

Nana is their oldest dog. She is Noah's childhood dog as we all may know and she is a golden retriever.

Oakley is one of Nana's puppies that Noah and Alejandro kept.

Kesari, a chow chow puppy that Noah picked out from a litter that a neighbor of Owen had. Owen, Izzy, Eva, and Alejandro also picked their own puppies from said litter. Owen thought it would be fun to name their puppies after food, so Noah chose Kesari.

Leo, Alejandro's chow chow. He did not stick to the theme. He chose the name because his precious baby looks like a little lion.

(Owen's chow chow is named Mashed Potato, Izzy's is named Cranachan, and Eva's is named Goulash)

And Bee (Bruja Jr., named after Alejandro's grandma's old cat) their one cat, which is a grey tuxedo American short-hair cat.

• They don't live on campus for school as they both are renting a house together because of all their pets, but they do plan on buying a house close to Noah's family.

• They have a chore board so they don't get into a fight about who's turn it was to do what and so on. Noah bought gold stars specifically for Alejandro and when he gets something done.

• Alejandro's love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch, but he also loves showing his love with gifts!

• Noah's love languages are quality time and acts of service! He gets really flustered when Alejandro buys him things.

• Valentine's Day is Alejandro's favorite holiday. He always plans a whole day with Noah. Whether it be elaborate like a scavenger hunt for Noah to do that leads to a dinner under the stars or something more low-key like making a picnic in their backyard and setting up a projection screen so he and Noah can have a movie marathon. If Noah wants to surprise Alejandro on Valentine's Day, he really can't because he has to tell Alejandro he's planning something so his boyfriend won't plan anything.

• Alejandro is the morning person, so he's the one who makes their coffee in the morning along with some breakfast.

• Noah tends to make dinner if they don't order out.

• Noah isn't that great at expressing himself in words, but he shows his love with kisses on the cheek in the quiet moments, or writing Alejandro notes that he sneaks into the other's lunch or jacket pocket. Just little things. He's trying to be better about expressing his love in words, though, because he knows one of Alejandro's love languages is words of affirmation.

• They are definitely that couple that slow dances in their kitchen to the radio or whatever love song is stuck in Alejandro's head. It is the epitome of intimacy and romance to Alejandro. Noah jokingly pretended he would rather be doing anything else but with his head resting on Alejandro's chest and the gentle swaying from side to side makes him feel so safe and loved.

• This moment will always be interrupted by their fur babies.

• They have petty squabbles and debates about so many things. People who just meet them always think they are that couple that is so close to breaking up, but those close to them know that the arguments and debates are fun to the two. And sometimes basically foreplay.

• If they are out and about and Noah is tired, Alejandro will just pick him up and carry him, then continue with whatever they were doing. It doesn't phase their friends, but it makes strangers stare a lot.

• Alejandro definitely surprises Noah with bouquets, and the one time Noah did it back, Alejandro cried.

• Noah got Alejandro into Animal Crossing, and sometimes they have Animal Crossing dates on each other's islands even if they are sitting next to each other. Alejandro always gives Noah a rose whenever Noah visits his island or Alejandro visits his. Noah has a dedicated rose house on his island that he stores all the roses in. Or crafts rose furniture with it and puts it in the house. Because of this they both have rose beds for their main houses.

Alejandro loves that they match.

• They are super competitive in other games, though. Alejandro wasn't allowed to play video games when he was growing up because his sperm donor thought they were a waste of time, so Noah, along with his friends introduced Alejandro to them.

No surprise, he was good at them and the ones he wasn't he worked to get good at.

• Alejandro can't handle when Noah seriously flirts with him. He blushes so much and basically melts. He malfunctions, and it takes Noah laughing or giving him a kiss for Alejandro to snap out of it.

• Alejandro is definitely the more jealous of the two as Noah rarely gets jealous. If he sees someone who looks like they are into Alejandro, he just kind of laughs and is like, "Another one bites the dust."

Alejandro gets handsy if he feels like or sees someone who is into Noah. The nicknames ramp up. The ratio of hugs and kisses increases in frequency. Noah will never admit how much he enjoys it.

_______

End!

Maybe more in the future!

[zvdvdlvr]

Hi there, friend . Please write if you have time a Soap, Ghost, Price, Alejandro, and Konig headcanons about a male partner with really big veiny hands.Hope you have a pleasent day or night .

- 141, alejandro, and könig with a male partner with large hands

☆ - warnings :: some nsfw topics, coarse language, neck snapping, features sub!könig, usual call of duty violence, male reader, short HCs,

☆ - characters :: john "soap" mactavish, simon "ghost" riley, captain john "bravo six" price, alejandro vargas, könig

☆ - k.j.'s diary says... i haven't written for CoD that much so i apologize for any inaccuracies or any out of character-ness.

kyle "gaz" garrick

SLUT ME OUT, SLUT ME OUT, SLUT-SLUT-SLUT ME OUT

bro was flabberghasted when he saw you gloveless- like, yes, he knows your hands are huge because of how easily you handle massive weapons but god almighty kyle almost started drooling when he saw you flex your hand while stretching your arm

silently admires the way you move in battle, your melee attacks, hand-to-hand, etc.

when you are dating, gaz for sure hints at his attraction to your hands if that wasn't obvious

gets turned on when you pin him to the ground while sparring and it shows

goes off on tangents about your hands when drunk

"they just- *hiccup* -they look so good, y'know? they'd look really nice around my ne-neck" (bro was passed out not even half an hour after saying this)

simon "ghost" riley

encourages you to snap someone's neck while out on the field

"christ, y/l/n" ghost (the first time he saw you do that

was drinking tea the first time he got a hood look at your bare hands

needless to say, tea was spilled in simon's lap

when you're together simon would come up with all these bullshit reasons to see your bare hands

not really into being choked, but would love watching you choke someone out

would ask you if you could choke-slam people

the answer was yes

simon loves being flipped off by you idk he thinks its hot

i like to think that while off duty simon can be a little bitch sometimes so whenever he turns around to go sulk he LOVES when you grab onto his belt loop or whatever and turn his ass around

captain john "bravo six" price

tried to keep his cool

also kept really quiet about his feelings

like

quiet.

loves holding your hand when off duty

so let's say price is the typa guy to enjoy back hugs? even better when he looks down to see your hands wrapped around his middle

has you demonstrate ways to snap/break necks to the newbies while watching with absolute adoration

did i mention price loves hand holding? i did? ok well just reminding you

u dont have to have big hands to know john loves kissing you with one of your hands in his hair and another tugging his belt loop so he's closer to you. hawt.

john "soap" mactavish

smiles widely while watching you snap someone's neck like it's nothing

doesn't even care if you choke him out if you did at least it's by your hands

choking kink question mark exclamation point

loves getting neck/upper back massages (non sexually you pervs) especially after a long day

a true simp.

will praise you till the end of time no matter how many war crimes you commit on the field

johnny likes when you help him trim/maintain his hair

it's such an intimate thing for him and the fact that you're helping take care of something so personal to johnny makes his heart swell

alejandro vargas.

will absolutely bring attention to the fact that your hands are massive

wolf whistles, even.

alejandro thinks it's the greatest thing ever making you flush

absolutely gushes to rudy about it

ok so now ur in a relationship:

ONE TIME alejandro was getting a bit too big for his britches so you stalked up to him and grasped his neck lightly. (if ur taller than him is what im imagining but wtv) ale was turned on

always wants to be touching you or you touching him

when he has free time he'll come find you, cuddle, play with your fingers while tou watch a movie or something

thinks about you jerking him off when you're both in a meeting or in a semi-public space

practically sings praises about how he loveloveloves your hands

könig

ok if your hands are larger than his than yes bro would pass tf out when he realized

would be very quiet about his attraction to your hands but his obvious staring spoke volumes

would immediately want to be slutted out when you had sex with him

plays with your hands when he's bored or really anxious

REALLY into you holding him by his neck and showing you how much he wants to be taken care of

loves when you tend to any sore muscles or wounds

honestly könig wants a simple, domestic life with all of the things hes seen

HAND HOLDING IS A MUST‼

watches you disassemble, clean, and reassemble guns like you didn't have ur fingers in his mouth the night before with a lopsided smile

you both spar together, learning from each other and being the duo that no other trio or group want to fight

together, you both are unstoppable. the admiration and personal connection you both have baffles many

[creptolli]

Random Alejandro Headcanons !! (CoD)

- Will constantly take his hands off the steering wheel when driving casually, not because he’s showing off or anything (most of the time) but just because he can. Scares the shit out of Rudy though.

- Has no fire safety skills himself, but will scold others for being even just a little reckless around matches, candles, lighters, open stove, etc. he will literally play around with a lighter as a fidget, just flicking it on and off but will get mad at you if you take your eyes off of your lighter for a second.

- (I mean this is pretty much canon) In an argument, he will subconsciously switch to yelling in Spanish, whether or not the other person speaks Spanish.

- Loves holding hands. Anyone’s hands. Anytime as well (other than when he’s actively working).

- people usually assume he’s a dog person, which he usually is. But, after being around Rudy so much, he loves cats. He loves how (most of the time) peaceful they can be, but he loves chaotic cats even more. However, he will never protest to a dog.

- Used to be OBSESSED with the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World trilogy’s - as well as Lord of The Rings and The Hobbit trilogy’s (Rudy was the only one to know that he was - and still is - a geek)

for the simps- (aka me)

- he will just stare in admiration at you, constantly. Just gazing in awe. He needs his eyes on you all the time for his own sake, always subconsciously going to hold your waist or hug you.

[lostquinn]

Laughter

Ghost x (gn!) Reader

Fluff, teasing, very subtle nsfw!

Summary - you hear Ghost laugh for the first time and emotions take over as you finally realise that you're in love with him

So uhhhh... New obsession. I love Ghost cosplayers - maybe a König or Keegan fic soon! It's been a while but here you simps go! Sorry it's not my usual content!

Word count - 980

You had only been part of the 141 a few months, their combat medic that would follow the boys into the battlefield. They all appreciated having you around. All felt a little safer.

The team was between missions, spending time together in the lounge of base camp after lots of intensive missions.

You'd quickly gotten close to a few of them and currently sat on a couch next to Soap. Ghost, Gaz, Alejandro, Price, and Roach sat around in the room. You were all basking in the chance for relaxation. Ghost still wore his balaclava, yet apart from that, the whole team were dressed in more comfortable clothes than they wore each day.

For a moment, you'd been staring at Ghost, looking him over. Your eyes lingered on his, and you could see him raise a brow before squinting at you. There was something captivating by the way he stared at you.

Soon, you moved your attention to Soap as he started talking, ranting on about something. Suddenly, something Soap and said caused Ghost to laugh.

You snapped your head around to stare at him, eyes wide. You hadn't heard him laugh before. Something about the sound filled your cheeks with warmth. The way he stared at you made your skin erupt in goosebumps as butterflies came to life in your stomach.

A breath got caught in your throat, and you started to cough, hunching your shoulders slightly as you tried to regain your composure and breath.

"Need some water, love?" Ghost asked, raising a brow at the display. You nodded.

He handed you his bottle of water without thinking as Soap clapped you on the back gently. You unscrewed the cap of the bottle and took a sip. The taste of water wasn't the only thing on your lips. There was also the subtle taste of his lips.

That near enough made you drool. Your eyes widened, and you screwed the cap back on the bottle, quickly standing up and leaving the room.

Jesus christ.

You still had the bottle in your hand as you stumbled to your room, collapsing on your bed with a deep blush on your face as you thought back to him. Ghost. Simon.

Your mind was filled with thoughts that you hadn't considered before. Hearing him laugh again. Holding his hand, hugging him. Kissing him. Feeling his chest vibrate as you cuddle up to him in bed and make him laugh over something.

You were completely and utterly smitten, enamoured, and distracted by these newfound feelings and thoughts for your Lieutenant.

There was a light tapping at your door before it opened. You had hoped to see him but instead, Soaps worried face filled the door as he entered.

He carefully sat next to you, his hands tucked in his pockets.

"You alright?" He tilted his head towards you.

"I think I'm in love with Simon," you blurted out, instantly smacking your hand over your mouth as you stared at Soap. He stared back for a moment before chuckling.

"Congrats on being the last to find out," he grinned wolfishly as he stood up, making his way back out. "I'll tell him to come get his bottle back," he winked, smirking at you.

Fuck.

Soap soon disappeared from your room, and you waited in an agonising limbo as you waited for a knock at the door.

It felt like the wait went on forever, every set of footsepts that passed your room had you on edge. A lump grew in your throat as you waited.

Eventually, there was a knock and the door opened.

"Comin' in," Simon murmured before pressing his way into your room.

You could feel your heart beating in your chest as you stared up at him, your feet dangling over the edge of your bed. You felt like you'd turn into a complete mess any second.

"I believe you have something of mine," he said, his voice husky as he slowly approached you.

"I- uhm- yeah, I still have your bottle," you muttered, hardly able to think.

He leant down close to you, placing one gloved hand on your hip as he leant his other hand past you to grab his bottle. He was tantalisingly close. You could kiss him if you wanted to, and he kept his eyes on you. Staring you in the eyes before tracing his gaze down your body.

You squirmed slightly under his gaze and touch, his hot breath connecting with the skin of your neck through his balaclava. He knew exactly what he was doing, and you could see him trying to hold back a smirk.

He grabbed a hold of his bottle, clipping the carabiner to one of his belt loops so that he bottle hung at his hip.

Then, he grabbed your chin, keeping your face steady as he moved closer. He lifted his balaclava slightly, just enough so his lips and the tip of his nose were visible.

"Try not to choke for me just yet," he whispered before pressing his lips against yours.

Your mind went blank, your hands shooting up to his jaw as you held him close. His skin was hot and soft. His tongue traced along your bottom lip before he pulled away with a smirk.

He pulled his balaclava back down before standing up straight and pushing his hands into his pockets.

"Good job, love. I'll be sure to come back for more," he winked at you before swiftly leaving.

As he left, you heard him chuckle under his breath and you couldn't help but think about the next time you would hear him laugh. The next time you would feel his lips.

You dragged your bottom lip between your teeth, lapping up the layer of his spit that he'd left on your lip with his tongue. He was delicious and you couldn't wait for more.

[femnoah]

Part 2 of the further explanations! (Part 1)

Assistant. She's living that Hannah Montana lifestyle. While working for Chris she wears her usual outfits and sunglasses. When on the show she wears a wig and her set outfit. Obviously all the workers know who she is (figured it out straight away) as well as Eva and Izzy (can't keep anything from that girl) but the cast has absolutely no idea. Chris and Chef keep setting up scenarios for when she's working so that they bump into each other cause they find it hilarious. At first Neha was a bit offended that they didn't notice who she was but then (with a little inspiration from Izzy) she decides to play it up and see how much they (don't) notice. After she gets eliminated from world tour, Chris gets the staff to fake an 'accident' that causes her to 'go to hospital' meaning she doesn't have to go on the aftermath. In reality, she's staying on the plane and continuing her job, making sure everything is running smoothly. Meanwhile, Alejandro is wondering who Chris' assistant is? Why does she seem so familiar? Why is he only just noticing her? and why does she keep winking at him and calling him an eel??? It's throwing him off his game a bit and it's cause the staff should all know what he's like so she must be stupid or insane to flirt with him... yeah... insane, that's definitely definitely it.

New game. Chris' working with a new network who wants to go down a different path for the new season. Instead of an elimination based game, there's a set amount of money available at each challenge and the teams fight over it. Some challenges are a winner takes it all, some are a 1st 2nd 3rd placement and the others are collect during the challenge. The teams then split their money at the end of the season. This was done due to the fans demanding more interactions between the cast, especially those with barely any screen time or anything known about it. There are 3 teams, each led by the 2nd place contestants from prior seasons and instead of being randomly chosen, everyone could choose whose team they wanted to be on (of course being on a team with someone popular means they have to make more money or they'll have barely anything per person). Alejandro didn't think that many people would join his team, in fact he expected it to be just him and Courtney (she was not going to be on a team with Gwen or Duncan) since he didn't exactly leave the best impression last season, until Chris drags in Owen, Eva, Izzy and Noah, arguing with them about something that was surely trivial. Featuring Courtney and Alejandro getting corrupted by Izzy and co; apparently an 'end of contract and the bets over' (he has no clue what they're on about); Eva and Courtney getting on like a literal house on fire; Neha (oh, that's what the bet was) and Alejandro getting together pretty early on but decide to drag out an on show romance; Alejandro coming to the earth shattering conclusion that on his team (including himself) that Owen was the most normal and sane all this time; Chris throwing a gender reveal party for Neha (dramatic reveal baby); Eva and Neha bullying everybody else (mainly Chris, Bridgette, Justin, Heather, Gwen and Duncan); Alejandro simping hard for his girlfriend cause it turns out that she was a vicious, sneaky, positively ruthless conniving little tejón de miel this whole time. The season quickly becomes the highest viewed with skyrocketing ratings, it makes Chris wonder why he didn't just set his the crazies kids on the rest of the cast sooner.

Escope on a warpath. They aren't happy with the cast, like at all. Neha convinced Chris to have all of the cast join in on world tour. Pretty much most of the cast has annoyed at least one of the three girls in some way so with Chris's permission (just think of the views!) they plan on decimating them all. They end up on a team with Alejandro, Courtney (I just love the idea of them as besties) and Sierra. The season starts off as three teams competing against each other but devolves very quickly into the team escope and friends Vs everyone else. It's brutal.

Feral Noah. Chris pulls her over before the London episode telling her that her contract should be up by the end of the challenge (both she and Izzy were held under contracts by the producers in season 1 to keep them from 'acting out' though hers were a bit more... restricting due to her more malicious nature, at least Izzy doesn't mean to hurt half the people she does). The challenge goes the same and she knows she's going to get kicked off but she finds out about Duncan and Gwen. She tells Courtney and they go to first class together where heather says only team members are allowed in which gives her an idea. She goes to Chris and convinces him to not send her home and instead let her swap teams with Cody and let it be a real girls Vs boys (not that the other contestants know this) he agrees cause of the amount of drama it'll cause (and a bit of incentive she provided including a certain producer). Cue Heather, Courtney and Neha running the competition and becoming genuinely good friends; Alejandro going from being wary and manipulative to falling fast and hard; plenty of blackmail and threats; big sister Blainley to the girls; Sierra getting a redemption arc and finding real friends; Duncan constantly getting hurt in ridiculous ways and wishing he was voted off already. It doesn't help that Neha definitely bites and she's actually corrupting Heather, Courtney and somewhat Sierra to her chaotic ways... Team Chris really needs to watch their backs.

[keresnotceres]

ker’s masterlist:

A list of my works for your convenience. Anything listed that is not underlined is unposted but is in the works! This is a working post, so it will update. As a result, more fandoms may be added.

This account is a side blog! If you get a reblog/like/follow from miloticaquarium i promise it’s me!! just like,, a less cool version of me lol

I also take requests :) Rules + Information under my works!

CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE II (2022)

headcanons:

TF 141: General HCs [sfw]

TF 141: NSFW HCs [nsfw]

TF 141: Civilian Lover [sfw]

TF 141: Realizing They Love You [sfw]

TF 141: “I Love You” [sfw]

MW2 Characters: as Lovers [sfw]

MW2 Characters: as Lovers (Angst) [sfw]

Valeria & Alejandro: 3some HCs [nsfw] (afab reader)

Ghost, Soap, & Gaz: Tattoo Artist Lover [sfw]

MW2 Characters: High School AU [sfw]

tbc…

oneshots:

ANGST:

You, With the Watercolor Eyes (Ghost x GN!Reader)

While on deployment, Ghost has nightmares in which you, his lover, fall out of love with him. The emotional turmoil from this causes him to fall into old, self-destructive habits. [sfw]

tbc…

FLUFF:

tbc…

SMUT:

Good, Good, Great (Ghost x Fem!Reader)

The two of you are roommates. You’re a bottle girl for the local strip club Myth, Ghost had been coerced into discussing information at the strip club. You’re miraculously on shift, and you’re flirting your way into a damn good tip. Just so happens that Ghost doesn’t like to share (even if you aren’t really his). [nsfw]

Say You're Mine (Ghost x Fem! Reader Good, Good, Great pt 2)

A few months later, Ghost takes his leave without telling you. He shows up to Myth unexpectedly on a busy Friday night while you have a plethora of tables to attend. Ghost doesn't seem to enjoy how you're serving a bachelor party, and he chooses to do something about it when the two of you get back to your shared flat. [nsfw]

tbc…

STAR WARS (THE MANDOLORIAN)

headcanons:

tbc…

FAIRY TAIL

headcanons:

Team Natsu: General HCs [sfw]

Sabertooth: General HCs [sfw]

tbc…

I usually stick to headcanons, but I sometimes stray to a one shot occasionally, requests are open for both! Please read the information below carefully before you request :)

I WILL WRITE: (I will gladly take requests for these)!

FEM and GN readers: As a cis girl, I am not particularly comfortable writing a male reader. Keep this in mind when requesting, please. If you don’t want a feminine reader, please let me know to write with a GN reader in mind and I’ll happily do so!

Fem and Masc characters: I will write for both! I like both so why wouldn’t I write for both?

Angst: My FAVORITE thing to write!! Please send me sad things to write about and I will literally speed right through it like a child mowing through a bag of apple slices.

Fluff: Sometimes consuming copious amounts tooth-rotting fluff to cope with the depressing content you just consumed is just what you need!

Smut: I can and will do it because I am nothing more than a simp; but you better look at the thin ice and will not write sections before you even think of asking me. Generic kinks and light BDSM are okay, see other categories for constraints.

Mental Health Struggles: Reader or character! Can include mental illnesses, coping mechanisms, and things like self harm or eating disorders. Not technically mental health related, but insecurities and family issues are also welcome.

THIN ICE: (I could write it, but it icks me).

Pregnancy and/or Breeding Kink, Somnophilia, CNC, and Cheating.

Throwing up/Vomit: I am extremely emetophobic. The only way I'll accept anything with something like this is: a) it's previous to what I am writing and/or b) it relates to an ED.

Slowburn: Not really my thing. Like, I could try, but it won’t really end up being a slow burn. Maybe like a going-the-speed-limit burn.

I WILL NOT WRITE: (If you ask me for any of these, you’re getting blocked!).

MALE reader: I’m sorry but as a person who is not and will not ever be a man I just don’t feel comfortable writing in the perspective of one.

Certain kink/fetishes (DDLG, ageplay, scat, uro, & other such bodily functions, feet), Incest, Pedophilia/Underage, Rape, Sexual assault, and Yandere/Stalker behavior.

KER is the singular form of KERES, a female spirit of death from Ancient Greek mythos. CERES is a dwarf planet named after the Roman goddess of agriculture, fertility, and motherly relationships.

[ff7-has-taken-me-over]

Can we some more of soap with a fatty please? I just need more of people thirsting over his ass

Why does my tumblr not notify me of these??? Anyway! Anything for a fellow people simping over soap and his ass lover!

Also I’ve been put onto other ships like Gaz x Soap and Price x Soap so be prepared for everyone thirsting over Soap.

Ps. I got mad side tracked with this and Soap’s ass ended being like a side feature sorry 😭

The idea I’ve got in my head is the 141 have an event to go to yeah? It’s a formal event so everyone’s dressing up nice. Everybody’s in fitted suits and looking all neat and trimmed and proper. Even Ghost has left the usual balaclava for a simple surgical mask.

But the real surprise here (more so than Price abandoning his hat for once and Ghost the mask) is that Soap’s suit is tailored to near perfection on him. Now don’t get them wrong they had all seen Soap in fitted clothes, the man seemed to own nothing besides jeans and tight shirts, but they’d never seen him in something tailored to bring out all of his assets.

It sits tight around his biceps and tapers in at the waist and the colour of the jacket brings out his eyes. But the real shock is the pants he has on. They can tell he’s not happy about them, constantly running his hands along his thighs and plucking at the tight material but that just seems to accentuate them even more.

They look painted on with the way they cling to his thighs and ass, shifting with every step he takes and threatening to rip if he moves too fast.

Soaps grumbling about them, something about how the brass wouldn’t let him walk around in his usual kilt cause it’d upset the older folk or something, ‘fucking let the old bags cark it for all I care, beats having to wear this shit’

But everyone else is silently thanking the brass for blessing their eyes with this rare sight.

Gaz looks a little pink in the face but he still approaches Soap with a smug little grin, blatantly checking his best friend out as he talks to him, “You gotta admit the pants make your ass look downright sinful McTavish.”

The Scot scoffs but nobody’s missing the flush it brings to his face, and suddenly it’s a competition to see who can make him blush more from the compliments they lay on him.

Price, in all his old man ways as the sergeants like to call it, simply comes right up next to Soap and slings an arm around his waist as they talk to a couple of soldiers from another platoon. Nothing really happens at first but then they’re shifting with the crowd and Price’s hand is slipping down and resting on the curve of his ass, fingers brushing gently and threatening to squeeze but not quite getting there.

When he leans in and speaks his voice is low, sounding like gravel and sending heat up Soap’s spine, “You look good lad.”

The words and light brushes of touch make him reden to an alarming degree if the worry in the soldier’s eyes is anything to go off of.

Ghost doesn’t really say much, he was never really a words person but also he can’t actually make his mouth move in the face of everything. So instead he just blatantly looks his sergeant over, holding eye contact when he catches Soap’s eye and relishing in the way his ears redden under his stare. And if he’s trying to hide the fact that he may or may not be drooling under the mask?? Well, he’s doing a damn fine job of it.

Alejandro is blatant about it because of course he is. He eventually manages to back Soap into a corner, leaning in close and relishing in the way the man stares back defiantly though there is a hint of a smile on his lips and the apples of his cheeks are starting to darken slightly.

“You look stunning mi amor.” It’s a blanket compliment but from the way Alejandro’s eyes dip, quick but with clear purpose, it’s easy to tell exactly what he’s talking about. Soap snorts at it but there’s no denying the way his smile turns shy and the redness in his face darkens even further.

Nobody’s entirely sure what Rudy had done. They had all watched him drag Soap out onto the dance floor, the two of them dancing with the other couples and exchanging quiet words and smiles.

After a bit Rudy had leant down, saying something or other that had the Scot tripping over his own feet, completely red in the face and trying to hide it away on the other man’s shoulder. Rudy had looked smug over it, shooting the rest of the guys a wink and little eye brow wiggle that they can’t help but find mildly adorable.

In the end it’s clear to see who won that little competition, but none of them really feel like they lost anything when they got to watch Soap blush up to his ears because of them. The tight pants and his amazing ass were a nice bonus as well.

[brokenjardaantech]

As the biggest Rene (i dont remember if its è or é and dont want to mistake) simp, I beg for more of him. Please. (Reminding you of my existence)

Anything you have, I'll take it but if you dont i could re ask and send you questions

Thank you

Yes, no worries, I remember you. Please believe me when I say your interest and excitement about my not-quite OC sparks so much joy. i don't have any concrete storylines for him right now but I do have a few pieces of information about him so I'll list them below.

René is not from Mexico and only immigrated there after his formative years. As a result:

His accent is often considered strange and is a source of suspicion from the very day he enrolled into the military academy. The fact that he is in the military should've been enough of a clue that his of Mexican nationality, but it doesn't stop the questions.

To escape scrutiny, he has a pretty good fake accent and he uses it extensively before he joined Los Vaqueros (LVQ), but he doesn't use it as much anymore these days. Regardless, the desire to fit in makes him a ridiculously good actor, and this is one of the reasons why he was selected to become a member of the Mexican Special Forces.

Specialises in covert and clandestine operations. He's a bit of a chameleon and only drops the act when he is certain that he is safe. Even when in front of other members of LVQ, sometimes he puts on his metaphorical mask out of sheer instinct. It makes him approachable and gives him an easier time commanding his men. It also makes him pretty lonely even when LVQ is a whole pack at this point.

Aledolfo are two of the rare people whom he has let his guard down in front of. By the time he was given the place of third-in-command, he has worked with aledolfo for long enough that he completely trusts them. In return, aledolfo also trusts him to carry their cowboys whenever both of them are unavailable, though those times are rare occurances. The usual job distribution is:

While aledolfo charge into battle together with their teams, René is usually the one they send to gather intel and infiltrate enemy facilities beforehand. René therefore doesn't see a lot of actual action, but frankly, this is what he prefers. Since they have such a good teacher, the people under his command are also trained to be the best infiltrators in the world. It isn't without its own consequences, however:

Command once wanted to make René's team their own thing and separate them from LVQ. Alejandro gave the decision to René because he knows René is experienced enough to determine his own future, and René chose to stay. There is no other unit that will be like LVQ, and without aledolfo, things wouldn't be the same. He also knew full well that his tendency to act instead of showing genuine emotions would eventually get in the way of his command, so having aledolfo above him to keep him in check is, in his mind, the better option for both himself and his men.

At the time of the fic, I would say he's around early to mid-30s, putting him at one of the older members of LVQ. As a result of this, he views aledolfo more like his older brothers than parents, but he also understands why the younger ones refer to aledolfo as their parents.

Despite being an alpha, his scent isn't strong and literally cannot go strong even when he experiences intense emotions, to the point that strangers mistake him for a beta. He isn't emasculated easily so he usually lets people assume whatever. It allows him to do his job very well without putting a lot of attention to concealing his scent. Used to feel guilty about this natural advantage, but under Alejandro's command, he has grown to let go of this guilt and instead embraces it.

To everyone's surprise, he has a mate. Has the mating bite to confirm it, but no one has ever seen them and he rarely talks about them. And by rarely, I mean 'can be counted on one hand throughout his decade under Alejandro's command', which is pretty unusual in LVQ because people usually at least share a few details and keep updating their friends on them. The only three known aspects of René's mate are that they're an omega, they aren't Mexican or from Mexico, and is 'quite a few years' younger than René, and no one can confirm whether they are true or not. Other than that, everything else is speculation on the grapevine. On that note,

Some people once tried to get René to break his secrecy by making up the most outrageous things about he and his mate, but René ignored all those and Rodolfo rained hell on the perpetuators. Rumours still exist among LVQ about René's mate, but they're relatively mild and lighthearted compared to what caused the stir. It is now more interesting to figure out why René managed to woo an omega as a workaholic career military man.

The only people who know a tad bit more about René's mate is, naturally, aledolfo, and only because they need to make sure that René's mate won't be a liability or a foothold their enemies can grab onto. After a brief explanation, they all agree that secrecy is the best course of action with the grapevine encouraged in order to muddy the waters.

And that's what I can think of about René right now. If these spark some specific questions, feel free to send them my way. Once more, I'm glad that you like my not-quite OC.

[tamorisana]

Ponche..?

Pairing :Aledolfo, Gaz/Alex (background), Pre- Ghost/Roach/Soap??? like they definitely caught feelings but don't know how to be about it so they dance around

Tags :Omegaverse, but Omegas aren't weak, small and fragile like glass, Christmas preparations?, they are all a little(not) bit gay.

Trigger warning :Talks about abortion, threatening with self harm, manipulation, people going missing (?). Please be careful and I advise you to not read if you are sensitive to these topics.

Note :Please I don't know anything about Christmas, everything in here is from reading other fanfictions. Do not berate me so hard for this.

Word count :3k.

@brokenjardaantech Simping hard for their OC Major Rene. I literally cannot simping. Thank you so much. Go check them out. From where Major René is.

For @thefuckisaid. This took longer than expected... nonetheless I hold this in my shaking hands so gently, reaching, offering it to you. Thank you for prompt.

Another note :When we speak of scents, we actually talk about hints of all of those aromas, such as peaches, coffee, tea and etc., it isn't your absolute scent but, sometimes, it becomes more vibrant/brighter.

[——————————————————————————]

Usually, Soaps Christmas consists of fun, family, and a warm home. The focus word is usually. This year, however, is different. Fundamentally different.

With family issues rising and going down, bubbling like a pot of soup and he was not ready to face them. Too much painful and cold words were said and unspeakable things were made which resulted in him refusing to celebrate back home.

Soo… He is in Mexico. With Los Vaqueros and some of the 1-4-1 members, Ghost and Gaz joined by still recovering Alex. His first Christmas not in Scotland feels like home too.

Right now he makes sure to be prepared for the little party they decided to have at the slowly rebuilt base. Yes, it's nowhere near done but this place was basically grounded. So for now he makes sure goods in the oven wouldn't burn to a crisp and ponche. Yes, Soaps the best ponche.

Soap is the best at making one. He can master you any type: We have a corporation-owned party? There is your ponche with almost no alcohol. Is it a team bonding time? Here comes the skill. It's almost terrifying how good they are and no one knows how he gets all of those proportions to always combine so perfectly but it's a fact. A well-known one too.

Everything is nearly done and no one bothered him about being a little bit late. You can imagine how hard it is to find an open shop on Christmas eve, but hey! No one told him they were out of butter and sugar. He could have brought a bowl of drink to the table but oh well. Still, he needs to check on those bastards, what if they already got drunk without him!

.

.

As he stood in the doorway, looking around. A warm feeling bloomed inside. Alejandro and Hugo, the pilot who helped them take the base back, were having a chat, Ghost, and Roach arguing about something in ASL, Gaz and Alex sitting, petting their dog Lucy. There are some of Alejandro's men who don't have a family back home so they were invited to join the party. The only one missing is Rodolfo.

He left for home, very early in the morning, to get some clothes and things. He was injured on the last mission together on Soap which resulted in him dirtying the last clear hoodie. Do you know how hard it is to wash away dry blood? All of his thighs were bloodied: shirts, pants, hoodies. Alejandro had to give him at least something to go out in.

There are many aromas in the room:

Guava and cinnamon from Alejandro. It can get pretty heavy in a stressful situation. It changes and fuses with something occasionally but it is so-so dull that no one can catch a glimpse of what it is. Despite this fact, it's a pleasing one.

Kyle's changed, before it was just vibrant ginger, vibrant to the point of needing to take the stronger blockers, but now it was slowly mixing with honey, not strong enough to be noticeable if you don't know before right now but explains how Alex is always around. Johnny swears, Garrick would be madly scented by the man if they weren't in public, he probably is behind closed doors.

Alex's is way lighter than Ale's, lemon mixed with lime. It makes an interesting combination with Gaz's. Like a drink, his mother made when he was a pup: hot water, a slice of lemon and ginger, and honey. God, how much he loves drinking it during cold nights.

Simon's and Gary's are kind of mixed. Not mixed like Kyles is but more like a combination. Freshly baked Japanese milk bread with slightly bitter gooseberry jam. It's a wonderful jam of fragrances.

Rudy's aroma is a Mexican Hawthorne with a hint of sorrowful apple. It's an interesting one, not something you smell every day. Like in Alejo's case, it changes, incorporates more than changes, with something else.

And then there is Major René's. Caramel is nicely hidden by the powerful sting of coffee. It makes a good combination with Captain Blanco's Técula Mécula. The thing you what to be wrapped by in the early hours of the morning. Soap is even jealous of Vaqeros who have the pleasure of this aroma every single morn.

There are some others but he doesn't really feel them from that far away. You can add the smell of food on top of all of

His scent, flavourful tea with honey, is probably shoving, a little.

"Hermano, you alright? Everything good? Need help with trays?" Oh. He probably stood there for way too long and Ale' noticed him, smiling softly, he didn't even catch the moment when he started.

"Oh, I might need some help with the trays. You know, I can't lift it with my hand" He does need help with it, stupid metal and dough on it are too darn heavy. It's not why he came here but now that it was said. He got his arm strained.

As they step into the kitchenette a pleasant smell of baked shortbreads hits them. They are right on time. As Alejandro takes metal out of the stove they hear the car door closing from outside, pretty aggressively if you ask him.

Rodolfo's home.

Therefore he finishes with the dish as fast as he can, missing Soap's worried look, getting close to the entrance where the aroma of funky apples practically kicks him in the gut so violently like a cartel narco sometime ago. Oh God, he almost feels sorry for whoever put Rudy in such state. Distressed, angry, bitter, sad, he could feel that on his tongue.

What the fuck happened?

What possibly could you do to piss off his calm, collected, not-so-easily angered Rudy?

In the meantime, Soap finishes decorating cookies which is essentially just putting leftover powdered sugar on top and, from the bottom of his heart, trying to bring this huge plate to the table without causing himself any pain. He almost succeeds in it but Simon is way too quick to react, so just as Johnny makes his way into the room his plate is snatched from him immediately and he is treated with the "My god, we can't leave you for 5 minutes 'cuz you'll try to injure yourself. Again. Just let me handle those things, dear" look.

Roach was silently shaking in laughter through the whole scene, watching as Soap's face changed from confused to annoyed, pouting he turns around on his heels, muttering "Cearc mhàthair*" leaving the room. Ghost looks back at Gary, who at this point was dying of laughter, with a puzzled, lost look probably thinking Scotsman cursed him or something.

A quiet, softly spoken "Go help him" snaked through the room to him. So softly murmured, it sounded unreal, like an angel's voice, smooth and flowy. It gently bloomed in Simon's head like spring flowers in the warm sunbath after cold winter. What? Don't get him wrong. He loves, adores, and cherishes when bug speaks to him but it is the first time he did so around others.

He wishes to see bewildered looks on

"My god, I wish we could see your face. It's hilarious" laughter escapes from Gary. Dear stars, does he falls in love with it. Simon is ready to fall in love with the whole Gary, not just his laugh, again and again. Every single day bathe in his love, gentle strokes on his face, the way those eyes look at him with such genuine adoration, devotion and affection it makes Ghost's mask crack.

Just like Soap.

No, not Soap.

John.

Johnny.

He hates the way man just completes him. Them. Both of them. He fits here so nicely: Gary being the moon, Simon stars, and Johnny is their sun. Everything lines up perfectly. Even by the goddamned olive theory. He hates them with all his heart but both of them love, sometimes to the point of only eating olives all day. Yes, he is this precious piece they were missing, lacking, carving.

Suddenly Roach is right before his eyes, snapping fingers before Ghost's face "Earth to Ghost, you there? C'mon, I'm sure Soap will appreciate some help" is quietly stated while the shorter man tries to move him closer to the entrance "Simon, quit staring into the void, go help him before he accidentally kills himself or spills everything on the floor"

Not a command still he will accommodate.

He wants to.

As Ghost maneuvers to kitchen, spoting Rodolfo and Alejandro standing together at far end of corridor just before entrance, discussing something, right as he came through the door frame. Silently, as to not disturb whatever conversation they had, he steps into the kitchenette.

"What happened, Cariño?" Ale' murmured, placing pecks against his lover's neck and scent glands as he carefully wraps himself around the other, holding tightly trying to comfort as well as warm him, Rudy's incredibly cold to touch. Either from cold weather outside or... something is wrong with Rudy's body.

The last thought made Alejandro shiver.

"Everything is alright." the answer is cold and rough, the absolute opposite of what his sugar-sweet husband is. In an attempt to soothe and turn his attention away from whatever is causing or caused such a change, he kisses man's scruff, nuzzling just above sensitive glands. Ale' didn't push knowing eventually Rodolfo will tell him, later or sooner, so he just continued leaving almost intangible kisses as well as rubbing circles on the other's stomach and sides.

"She was there. On our ranch. In our home. And we had no fucking idea. There aren't even any buildings or shelter of any kind, she lived in a goddamn van on YOUR property. She had a fucking audacity to whine about how there is nowhere FOR HER TO LIVE---" Rudy stops himself before anger takes over again, takes a deep breath afore going on saying one sinful name Alejo' hoped he wouldn't have to hear at least for a day.

"Carmen."

No, please. Just one day without this bitch. Is this too much to ask for?

Pause.

Carmen was where?!

The thought caught up to him, flooding him like tsunami. Their sister-in-law, who is a fucking bitch, is on his family's estate. On his ranch or what's left of it anyway. With her stupid grin, scent, and attitude, God, How could Rodrigo, for the life of one, love and marry her? HER. Out of all people.

This bitchy, absolutely self-centered woman, he doesn't even want to call her that, woman should be a goddamned title for her, because... Women are different: strong mentally or physically, shorter, taller, sweet or really stir and cold, and a whole lot more but she... she is a fucking slime, willing to step on other's feet to get what she wants, she doesn't deserve this name, title. God, he hates her.

'Get yourself together ' a voice flashes by Ale's mind and it's right. He would make it worse if he doesn't shut himself up. Which is relatively easy with Rudy's scent right here. "That bitch" still escapes his mouth, muffled by hands shuffling through a grey hoodie, Rodolfo's favourite, to get under it. As he did, his left palm on his amor's chest, right one on the lower abdomen, putting on a comforting weight.

"You called the police and got her evicted, right?" he tries to keep his voice as cool as he can. "Did father call you?"

"I did and they cannot arrest her since she is, you know, carrying a child.." Rodolfo throws his head on Ale's shoulder as well as letting his scent blend with guava and cinnamon creating an absolutely new odor. That reminds Alejo' of the fragrance he had the pleasure of tasting earlier in the kitchen.

Ponche.

This pleasant aroma warps around them like a huge, warm, weighted blanket. They never let themselves do this at work, only on their weekends at the temporary flat they were given as compensation for the grounded ranch, not what they were told but you could read it in between the higher-ups speech.

"Dad did call and... you know how that usually goes, this time no different." he sights, and you can almost hear the pain behind those words. This man is a victim of Carmen's manipulation, she used different way to turn him against his sons. It worked. An another reason to hate Carmen. Alejandro carefully, which isn't like him at all, started "She isn't able to take care of that kid, she thinks we will just give her the money and leave. Maybe..." he scoffed thinking of how to put the thought into words.

"Maybe..?" encourages shorter " 'Cmon, Ale', finish" he almost fully relaxes, puts his cold hands over Ale's warm ones, and waits for other to continue.

"Maybe we can strike a deal with Carmen and once the kid is born we take it under our wing. I mean. It's Rodrigo's child and you are their uncle, even if we have to sue her for parental rights, Court would see how crappy her life is right now—" he was rudely interrupted by a squish of his hand and "She wants to put it up for adoption."

Alejandro's face drops at those words but before he can question such judgment Rodolfo continues "She won't go for that deal and we both know it. She mentioned during the fight today that if we don't give her what she wants she will do something to herself, abort the kit even if she is 5 months along, and if THAT won't work she will put it for adoption" he stops for a second to breathe in some air and continues sounding more bitter, almost crying.

"She doesn't care that this kit probably is the only thing we have left from Rody...Fuck! It's been 4 months since his disappearance, he is probably fucking dead already and this bitch acts so fucking entitled to everything but not once, not fucking once, she asked about him. Or how is the search going."

Angry tears are building up, his voice becomes shakier and quieter "Everyone expects me to just close my eyes on that fact, to forget about my brother, and focus on her and her goddamn litter if something happens to me would everyone act the same way? Is Rodrigo not important enough to at least ask and remember about but that motherfucking slime is?!"

Rodolfo stops, sobbing and mumbling something he cannot hear, and violently shakes in his arms. Alejandro's heart dropped at two things. How Rody's kit is used as a weapon to manipulate them and how heartbroken and tired his husband is.

It all started with Rodrigo, Rudy's older brother, going on a mission with Major René, his third-in-command, as a sniper. Just to cover them. Just to ensure informant won't get them into a trap and ambush them. Which wasn't the case but at some point in the commission there was "A loud thud" followed by silence on Rodrigo's side. They turned Las Almas upside down searching for him, it was as intense as worthless. No trace, not a single piece of information, there is absolutely nothing.

And then there is Carmen. And if with everything above, you didn't understand what he fills towards his sister-in-law, which he refuses to believe, Alejandro despises her guts to bits. For this bitchy behaviour, for using Rudy's unborn nephew to manipulate both of them, for using his omega nature to use against, again both of them, by saying how she has no money or roof above her head, which is a lie. She has governmental support and two, not one but two, flats to live in. One being Rody's that should've gone to his husband but they will not pull that string until they either get the custody of a kit or she is able to work to afford a place to live in.

He likes the first scenario better.

"Then we go to child support or whatever instans and we sue her for parental rights." Alejandro began speaking, his voice low and deep now, he smushes his face into shorters collar. "It all gonna be alright, I promise you. No one expects anything of you, I don't expect anything and I'm sure Rodrigo would be very pleased and proud of all and any decision you make because you always try to make the best ones." He looks up, kisses his cheek and purrs loud enough for only Rodolfo to hear. "Don't let her get under your skin." he feels how cold hand squeezes his own.

"You need to rest, forget her for this weekend, if you continue to do that to yourself, overwork, overthink everything, not eating properly we will repeat 2017 and we don't want that, do we?" Of course not. The image of him so smol and fragile against hospital bed, exhausted, dehydrated and hooked to an IV still hunts Ale' in the nightmares.

"We don't..."

"Exactly. Mi alma, just for this holiday please, I'll get on my knees and beg if It'll mean you take a proper rest. Looking at you sometimes I get so worried that I'm missing the red flags of you putting yourself on edge." Alejandro bitterly sights while Rudy spins around and holds his mate.

"Please talk to me if it's all overwhelming and you need a distraction. I'm always, always here for you. I've always been. Always will. I share this pain with you and it breaks my heart you are my heart to know what a shitty person gonna have Rody's kit but please, and I mean it, don't let it become the only important thing in your life."

"I'm sorry, my darling, it all consumed me so badly. I'm sorry for making you so worried it isn't good for you and.." a cold hand appears on his stomach, slightly rubbing. Rudy nuzzles closer to his shoulder.

"It's alright, it's alright, my heart" a pleasant, almost silent settles in the whole corridor, somewhere far away you can hear laughter, talking and men cheering.

"C'mon, I think Ghost will help Soap with bringing heavy stuff to the table." Alejandro leans away, still close enough for their foreheads to touch, looking into the most beautiful, in his opinion, eyes. Hands laying at the back of the man's scuff. It's unclear who started leaving peaks on whose face but they didn't return to the main hall until everything, both shortbreads and bowls of ponche.

[——————————————————————————]

I didn't beta anything. I will but later. This took way too long than it was supposed too.

Did you notice that Ghost/Roach/Soap scents make a good breakfast?? That's my favourite one too.

We all know why Kyle's scent changing, don't we?

[courtney-deserved-better]

this is so niche but like. i just finished part 3 of disenchantment and need to spitball a total drama au even though the show isnt done yet. spoilers and rambling below the cut.

okay so like gwen is bean. like she just gives me bean vibes i honestly cant see her being any other character. 

i think noah is luci though alejandro is a strong contender noah just seems more luci yknow? 

elfo I think could go in two directions. we could go the typical route and have cody be elfo bc he simps for gwen and all that but i think changing elfo’s personality/role in this au could allow courtney to be elfo. 

like elves are more stereotypically snooty and classy in this au and have strict rules and courtney very much sticks to the rules but maybe lady elves or just elves in general aren’t allowed to be as aggressive and driven as she is so she leaves them to carve a path for herself. 

so shes not as much of a pushover asl elfo but she’s very much a stickler for the rules and has a bit of a holier than thou attitude and is a bit stuck up

maybe shes also a princess and never mentions it because she leaves her throne behind and doesnt want to be bound to princess duties that get in the way of her doing what she wants to do yknow? and thats something she can hide from gwen but as time goes on and the elves come to dreamland (which should be called wawanakwa) gwen learns more about courtney’s princess past and they bond over it. 

if we go the route with courtney then mora doesnt really exist in this au bc im gwourtney trash and that aint changing anytime soon. 

but it takes a while for gwen and courtney to like each other. courtney and noah also clash but noah and gwen get along pretty well. 

also noah looks like his usual self but can turn into pretty much what luci looks like when he wants to because magic demon powers and bc I love luci’s appearance so much (girl help i have gender envy for a fucking cartoon demon)

as for zog, derek, and oona, we’re gonna change them into sibling roles. lets say gwen’s dad, the king, had a lot of queens who all died after bearing him a child so gwen has a bunch of half siblings. and her dad is dead too. its the curse of zog or whatever it is in canon.

maybe cody could be derek (gwen does say he reminds her of an annoying little brother) and owen can be zog, and he rules with izzy as his queen, though it was an arranged marriage and izzy eventually divorces him to become a pirate queen like oona

and dagmar’s role can be gwen’s oldest sister, heather, who got turned to stone when gwen was younger and having only brothers and a crazy sister in law gwen idealizes heather as this great older sister despite barely remembering her. heather uses that to her advantage because she’s evil and once gwen finds that out they really dont get along (like dagmar and bean in canon)

owen is obsessed with the immortality pendant to bring his sister back to life after their drinks got switched not realizing that heather was trying to kill him so she could take the throne

i think chris should be odval bc he and bean have a hilarious dynamic that could totally be replicated with gwen and chris. and if chris has a gay wizard lover it HAS to be chef. chef is sorcerio

justin is merkimer. like really nobody else could be merkimer

trent is pendergast (my beloved) and turbish and mertz can be some hapless interns or maybe someone from a later cast, like spud and rock (that would actually be so funny spud can absolutely be turbish)

blaineley is the archdruidess of course

i dont know where alejandro fits in bc of course hes gonna be noah’s love interest but luci didn’t really have any love interests (except for kissy for a hot second but idc ab that) but i do think it would be funny if the usually unflappable demon noah suddenly has a crush on some handsome guy and is trying to hide it from his friends but hes terrible at it and gwen and courtney are teasing him 24/7 ab it. and noah is sad because alejandro would never want to date a demon if he knew what he really was but psych alejandro is a demon too. that’d be a great arc

i think beth would make a sweet bunty

and poor lindsay could be jerry! idk about becky and cloyd though… or the gunderson brothers… def need to know more about the last two before casting them

ok im crashing now but this is definitely gonna be something i revisit in the future. probably won’t post any fics until season 4 comes out so i know the full story before writing… 

harold as the jester though

[dramaticallytotal]

For Your Entertainment

Oh my god, another TDWT au???? Whaaaaaat?

Yep.

I will not apologize UwU

This au will feature Chaos Gremlin Noah. We've seen in canon he genuinely enjoys chaos and drama as long as it's not involving him, and I wanted to focus a whole fic around that. In this one, he is way more apathetic than in my other aus, and he is really only friends with Team E-Scope and Owen. So he really doesn't care what happens to anyone besides his friends in the competition.

Him being a little Chaos Gremlin is why he has managed to be Chris McLean's longest standing employee ever. They get on like a house on fire. Chris is arguably a king of chaos, so I just love the idea of him emotionally adopting little chaos gremlin Noah and bonding with him. In this au, Chris does tell Noah about having to fire him, and of course, they plan to stage it while Noah helps budget and take inventory of everything they will need for the new season. He is also publicly helping with the fake show, so it looks like he has no idea about the new season. There are some interns and crew who would love to snitch to the producers on him and Chris if they caught wind of their plans.

Noah is the one who selected and approved Alejandro, being the newest competitor as well as one of the fake stars of Dirtbags. If anything else, the guy will stir things up and make things entertaining for Noah while he pretends to be lazy and useless. But Noah and Chris agreed that he would embrace his original marketed title as Schemer. And he's all for it, as long as it keeps him entertained.

A bored Noah is a dangerous Noah. Chris found this out the hard way. (He never thought he would have to talk a teen out of actively blackmailing a very successful producer in the company, but well, life is full of surprises).

Noah knows all the challenges because he helped plan some! He was very proud of himself. Oh, he made sure things were safe but just barely, I mean, he doesn't want to end up hurt or dead in these challenges, so he had to make some safety features and everything. It's weird, but Noah actually feels...excited about the new season. Oh, and he left Chris some of his blackmail material in case they producers want to change anything or are being assholes. They had been planning on buying out the company, and Noah thinks this is the perfect chance. Chris will run the show how he wants, and when he gets complaints, some anonymous "interns" will leak the messages, emails, or calls and show the viewers just how fucked up and corrupt the producers are. This plan has been a year in the making.

Which is a long time for one of Noah's plans to take off, but they want to do this right and come out the winners/heroes.

The day of the plan dawns, and Noah is practically trembling in excitement, but he's had a lot of practice pushing down his real emotions (thanks, Mason). He played his role perfectly all up to the bus rescue. He thankfully was able to get Eva to stay by pretending to fall asleep, but he knew she knew he wasn't sleeping. The trust she has for him has him feeling all warm and fuzzy. He loves Eva. She's basically his ninth sister. Beth ended up staying, too, because Lindsay wanted to paint her best friends nails, and that absolutely could not wait.

The rescue happened, and finally, they were on the bus to the plane. Eva wanted the window seat, and Noah would give it to her since she stayed. Plus, the aisle seat was perfect for observing everyone and seeing what was going on. It looks like Harold and Leshawna were off again, which was not surprising, which would mean a small amount of entertainment for Noah. Then there was the whole Gwen, Courtney, Duncan thing that had Noah holding back a smile. That whole train wreck would bring him so much entertainment.

But who really had his attention was Mr. New Guy. Oh, he knew his name, Alejandro, but he had to pretend he didn't. He could already hear the giggles from the girls who thought he was attractive, and he could already hear the boys grumbling. Noah made sure to give a comment or two about he hoped Mr. New Guy wouldn't just be another Justin, which made some laugh, and Courtney glared at him. Oh yeah, he forgot those two were friends. He also caught the slight smirk from Alejandro before the boy suppressed it.

The competition began, and Noah was surprised that Ezekiel made it, but with Duncan up and quitting (goodbye love triangle drama), it made sense that they had to even out the teams. So, the first challenge became a reward. Boring.

He saw the way Alejandro had flirted with the girls, specifically Bridgette and Leshawna. Which probably meant they were his first targets. Oh, that was fun~!

And he could help move things along! And if, by doing so, he got rid of Harold, even better! So he made sure to make comments about Leshawna falling for Alejandro when he was close to Harold. Or he would make sure to act disgusted at the cultural insensitivity (yes. Noah will always be responsible for Harold's elimination XD). It got the ginger right where he wanted.

Then Harold was gone, and Noah knew it wasn’t all him given he had witnessed Alejandro talking to Harold a lot, and he caught on to the subtle manipulations. That guy was good!

Then the Yukon happened, and he knew he didn't hide his glee at seeing Bridgette stuck to a pole well, given the look Alejandro had given him.

"Good work." He whispered with a snicker to Alejandro.

"I'm not sure what you mean mi amigo." Of course the guy would play dumb but whatever.

"Hmm. Whatever you say." He tried to be blasé but the wide smile then kept growing on his face was probably a dead giveaway of how he felt.

And maybe that's what shot him in the foot because the next day, Alejandro was flirting with him. Noah was pretty confident it was because Alejandro was scared he figured him out (he did) and was going to expose him or something. Like hell! This was the most fun he was having on a season. And if him acting coy or shy or flirting a little back with Alejandro had most of the females mad at him, so be it. It just made everything all the more entertaining to him.

He did hurt his ankle in the Yukon (this will always be canon to me), so pain medication was a must but he had been stubborn in not taking it because it either makes him drowsy or puts him right to sleep and he doesn't want to be voted out (and miss out on all the drama and fun) because he couldn't contribute much to the challenge. But Izzy, Owen, and Alejandro made him take the medication.

So, the next challenge, he was a little out of it, but Izzy or Owen carried him when there was running or walking. He was able to climb the rope at least, and he volunteered to be put in the baby carriage, which was fine by him. He fell asleep, which was not a surprise.

No being swapped with a baby, though, because Alejandro made Izzy guard Noah. Heather had planned on doing something but couldn't because even she was not crazy enough to go against Izzy.

It was a reward challenge, which was great! What was not great was the challenge in Germany! Noah wanted first class! He craved it! And he knew they had it in the bag the moment he saw Alejandro flirting with Leshawna again. He made sure to have discussions with Izzy when Leshawna was around and made it seem like he didn't know she was there.

"I mean, it's honestly pathetic. How obvious Heather's crush on Alejandro is." He drawled.

"Izzy knows!!! Girl has got it bad! I didn't think you'd notice it, though NoNo. You're not usually one to notice these things." Izzy gossiped as she tried to put Noah's hair into pigtails. She knew what he was doing and was all for it. He's her chaos brother!

"Normally, and this kills me to say, but normally you'd be right. But it's so obvious that even Owen has noticed, and that's saying something."

"I don't know, Owen is pretty good at knowing when someone likes someone."

"Agree to disagree."

"Is this about him trying to set you up with that-"

"We are not talking about that!" Well, no acting there was necessary. He did not want to talk about that disaster of a date. Ever.

"Well, it's not like Heather has realized it yet, which makes it all the more entertaining for us." This is why he loved Izzy. She knew when to drop things, she knew how to roll with his plans, and she liked chaos just as much if not more than him.

"True. I'm more worried about what she'd do because of said crush. Even if she doesn't realize it, she's already snapped at her teammates when he's flirted with Leshawna."

"Oh yeah! She definitely seems like one of those people who would do anything to get someone to back off her crush. Izzy knows."

"Mmm. You would seeing as you're the same way. Normally, I don't worry for anyone, but I can't help but feel bad for Leshawna."

"Why?"

"Because it's obvious Alejandro likes her, and we already established that Heather likes him, so it's not out of the realm of possibility that Heather will so or do something to come between the two."

"Oooooh."

He couldn't hold back his smirk when he heard Leshawna storm off, and Izzy immediately matched his with one of her own.

Then the challenge happened, and he played up not knowing what Alejandro was doing up until the guy purposefully lost the challenge. Once they were back in the plane, he immediately dragged the guy down to the cargo hold to confront him. He, of course, tried to deny everything and tried to flirt with Noah in the same breath. Noah was not having it.

With more strength than he thought himself capable of, he shoved the guy into the nearest wall. He had to look up, given he was only to the guy's chest (short king Noah, my beloved), but he poked him in his abs to get his attention.

"I don't care that you got into Harold's head and made him vote himself off. Mainly because I was getting into his head first. And I don't care that you helped and flirted with Bridgette enough to get her to make out with a pole! In fact, I thought it was hilarious." He admitted.

And just to see more of a reaction than just the wide green eyes he was staring into, Noah started walking his fingers up Alejandro's torso oh so slowly. It got the eyes off of him for a second, and he thought maybe he saw a blush forming, but those green eyes held his attention once more.

"And I even decided to be nice and help you get to Leshawna! I had to let Izzy mess with my hair! But it was all for the sake of getting entertainment, and you, sir, make a lot of it happen. So I was content to let you play your game."

His fingers reached Alejandro's bull necklace, which he wound his fingers around and tugged.

He didn't miss the gasp the boy in front of him breathed out, given how close they now were.

"But I'm not so content when your actions mess with my game. I don't like to lose when I know we had every opportunity to win and would have won had you not thrown. You may not think much of me, I mean, I did get out early in the first season. But then again, I manipulated my way into being thrown off. I was not about to spend my summer in that shitty camp. And so far I've been playing in the shadows this season."

Great. He was monologuing like some cheesy villain. But I mean...he was being paid to play a villain this season, so he might as well go all in.

"I'm keeping you around for my entertainment and amusement. Purposefully losing is not something I find amusing, so the next challenge you better give it your all or I'm going to have to really play and you don't want that." He hissed before leaning back and patting Alejandro's cheek and letting go of his necklace.

"Good talk." And with that, he sauntered out. That was fun!

He missed the absolute heart eyes Alejandro had been giving him.

__________

Basically, a villain Noah au, where Alejandro falls for him so hard. The two create an alliance and dominate the game, all the while Alejandro is trying to get Noah to date him. Noah thinks it's just Alejandro being Alejandro, but he does like him, and he thinks it's very funny that the guy can't handle when Noah flirts back with him.

Boy this got long.

Enjoy.

[dramaticallytotal]

I definitely want to know what alejandro was thinking at that moment, especially when it happened again afterward 😈

Six? Six! How had he not known about these six gilipollas!? Alejandro prided himself on his observation skills, I mean, how else was he supposed to find out other people's weaknesses without them? (Other than with his nonexistent hacking skills. Of course there was always bribery for information but it was so much sweeter when he found out a weakness on his own by good ol detective work or by being so charming that the weakness was told to him). So, how did he miss all these boys hitting on his teammate? Not that he could blame them, mind you. Noah certainly had the smarts to be intriguing and make a conversation worthwhile. The way he debated made his eyes shine with life, and his usual smirk would morph into a small, genuine smile. This was especially true when he spoke about books.

You could always tell what was happening in a book that Noah was reading because he became so expressive. It was such an interesting transformation to see. So it was easy for Alejandro to see why these boys thought they could approach Noah. What baffled him is that Noah responded! Though, from what was revealed, it was a misunderstanding on Noah's part, which was admittedly adorable of the resident snark, considering he was normally the first one to figure something out. So perhaps Alejandro had done or said something that Noah had misinterpreted, that made him make such a "joke" during the Jack the Ripper challenge.

To others, it was probably seen as just that, a joke, but to Alejandro, he could hear the underlying bitterness and mistrust. Maybe it was just because Alejandro had made the shorter male maneuver through the lasers in Paris like Noah had explained, but he just had this feeling it was something more. Perhaps Noah thought he was punishing him for calling him "out" in Germany. Though the bookworm's way of calling out was just straight up asking Alejandro why he threw the challenge. Of course, he denied it, but Noah didn't seem to believe him. He also didn't comment even if he didn't so Alejandro thought they were all good.

Apparently not.

That was why he had fully planned on confronting Noah after the challenge, only for everyone to see some punk (literally to everyone else and figuratively on Alejandro's end) hitting on Noah. Alejandro could understand why the punk, who he later learned was named Ezra, had hit on Noah. He had eyes after all, but the sight had made his blood boil for some odd reason. Perhaps it was because he knew his amigo could do better than some boy who had stormed after a kidnapped Duncan without stopping to think he should call someone and without a weapon since the mob thought they could save their former castmate. The plan lacked common sense and actually thought, and Noah valued intelligence. Clearly, this hooligan lacked such a quality despite his insight and thoughts on the novel, Good Omens, which Alejandro had also read and had been planning on talking to Noah about.

He could handle Ezra... but five other boys, including the Brit!? How was he supposed to deal with five unknown entities! They all were obviously not good enough for Noah. They made him cry for Christ's sake! Noah did not deserve to worry himself to the point of tears and an anxiety attack. The boys were deceitful in their intentions (hypocrite) when they should have been upfront in their attraction to Noah. He deserved to know he was desired. That his thoughts were adored, his heart cherished, and his soul worshipped.

That was just Alejandro's opinion, though.

So how dare these worthless worms make such a proud man such as Noah waste tears on them. He vowed then and there to protect his friend and show him he was trustworthy. Obviously, Noah, who seemed to have a penchant for misunderstandings, had misread something Alejandro had said or done and this was the perfect opportunity to fix it!

Thankfully, when they got to stay in Greece, Alejandro managed to keep Noah by his side by debating and discussing their favorite Greek history moments and myths. It was a wonderful couple of days spent having stimulating intellectual conversations and trying local cuisine. It was something Alejandro liked despite his weak stomach and something that Owen was surprisingly good at finding. The butter donkey was good for something, but it was not a surprise that the something he excelled in was food related. Alejandro claimed their hang out was good for the team morale, and this would not be seen as suspicious. He counted the experience as a win.

The Area 51/52 challenge went by and though they stayed in Nevada, they didn't stay in a town or anything, they stayed in the plane so Alejandro didn't need to protect his small friend. But then they went to Australia. His team won, which was great, and the fact Chris let them stay in Bendigo was another plus. He had overheard Chris talking to Chef (you would think he would have learned his lesson) about their stay originally. It was supposed to be in Mildura, but as some sort of secret apology for embarrassing him too much on TV, Chris decided to switch their stay to Bendigo since Noah supposedly had always been fascinated with the place and had spoke of it a couple times when he worked for Chris.

It was weird and a little disturbing to know Chris actually had a heart and a conscience.

Overall, Alejandro was having a great time, and so it seemed was his team, especially Noah. Maybe that's why he let his guard down and let Noah hold their table outside the restaurant they had chosen while the rest of the team went in to order or use the restroom. He wanted to slap himself for being so stupid because by the time they went back outside, some boy was talking to a flustered Noah! It was like time started to move in slow motion as Alejandro watched the boy give Noah a kiss on the cheek. It was only when the boy pulled back and smiled at Noah that Alejandro felt he could move once more. In fact, he didn't think he had ever moved that fast in his life, and yet he still didn't reach his friend until that fiend left him with a wink! How dare he! HOW DARE HE!

Noah had been in a daze the entire afternoon after that, and no amount of teasing from Duncan or Izzy would snap him out of it. It was just another thing that had Alejandro's temper rise. That was it. That was the last boy that would be added to that so-called harem! Alejandro would make sure of it! From then on, it was like you couldn't find Noah without Alejandro. He was always there by the bookworm's side, whether they be deep in discussion or simply existing next to one another. Alejandro claimed he liked the peace and quiet that came with those times so anytime Noah wanted to read, Alejandro was there for him to lean on.

What Noah didn't know is that this worked as a natural deterrent to any boys that saw him and thought him cute because it looked like he and Alejandro were a couple. And the small number of times they weren't together, Alejandro would appear out of thin air and gently manhandle Noah somewhere else while being slightly more touchy than usual. It was something Noah had started to get used to, so he gradually thought nothing of it. Whenever he did this, Alejandro would stare at the boy who had been about to approach Noah with the biggest shit eating grin.

It wouldn't be until the wedding challenge that Alejandro realized he had the biggest fattest crush on Noah. It would also be that challenge that Alejandro nearly cried at the beauty of Noah in a wedding dress and tux jacket. Little did he know that Noah's International Bookclub members also nearly weeped at the sight.

[dramaticallytotal]

Phantom of the Studio

A Phantom of the Opera inspired story where Alejandro is the phantom and haunts the Drama Productions film studio and has for a while now. Chris just bought the company. Therefore, he owns the studio that served as the main operations building. An old theater that has been repurposed. The producers aren't happy he bought them out of their shares but it's been a plan in the works for years as Chris wants the freedom to produce his own stuff without the producers making him cancel shit or change it to fit their needs. They are so unhappy that they don't warn him about their guest. Until one caves and tells Chris about the phantom. How they kept one of the box seats in the original style as it was originally for the ghost.

Apparently, it liked to watch everyone work. Weird. But whatever. Chris is a seasoned theater kid. He knows a thing or two about superstition, so he'll respect it unless it gets ridiculous. He makes a note to himself to tell Noah about their phantom. He doesn't think Noah will believe it, but the kid, while snarky and an occasional asshole, is pretty respectful about other's beliefs. It took Chris telling him once to call the Scottish play, the Scottish play, and the kid listened.

Okay, he says, kid, but the guy is like 27 now, but he'll always be a kid to him. Noah Mudaliar was his personal assistant/ production assistant. He had known him since he was 15 and auditioned for his show Total Drama Island. Chris thought he had way more potential than being a possible victim of the show and went to him in person to say as much and to take the kid on as an intern. It wasn't what he wanted originally, but Noah found the thought intriguing and agreed.

Chris was so happy he agreed. Things ran so much better with the kid as an intern that the other interns looked up to him as some sort of super intern. Even the ones older than him! It was around Action that he made the kid his personal assistant so he could actually be paid for the extra work he was doing because he knew damn well the producers wouldn't hire the kid and pay him. Then, World Tour happened, and the producers kept trying to add more and more dangerous things. Like adding explosives to the coconuts that Noah substituted in for the pineapples after he talked to the locals in Hawaii. Apparently, the producers knew about the never throw pineapples into a volcano thing but still demanded pineapples.

Noah had argued against it and even pulled his blackmail card on the producers, and they thought that was that.

Later, they would find out that the producers bribed a couple of interns into switching out the coconuts Noah and some others gathered with their "special" coconuts. The poor interns had no idea what they were, but they were pulled in by the promise of money and did it. Thankfully, the most injuries the contestants got were a couple of sprained ankles, a broken arm, and a multitude of bruises and scratches. The interns got out with similar injuries, but Noah ended up getting a little splashed by some falling lava.

A little on his chest, a good splash on his left arm from protecting his face and little sprinkles on his legs. Thankfully, Owen grabbed him and ran with him to Chris's boat since Courtney had yelled not to bring him into the water with the burns so fresh. Chris was forever grateful to the big dude about saving Noah. It was then Chris accepted that he saw Noah as a son, and Noah reluctantly admitted he saw him as a gather figure.

And they made one hell of a team with Chef!

Like Noah suing the producers publicly and blackmailing them from an untraceable account whilst Chris played up the cameras for all the contestants and himself for being in such a frightening situation. He also spread gossip like it was his main job. Chef, the beautiful man he was, leaked some of the worst decisions the producers demanded with proof while pretending to be a concerned intern who just started. It helped that the studio/producers never kept track of the interns because they didn't believe they were important.

Chris may be an asshole and get the interns' names wrong a lot, but he knew the show couldn't be done without them. And yeah, he was kind of a jerk to them, but at the end of the day, he valued their efforts (and maybe because Noah threatened to leak his embarrassing texts that he had sent whilst half asleep or drunk if he didn't try and treat the interns better, and he knew he wouldn't survive the embarrassment).

Thanks to all their efforts, they were able to buy out the studio. There was still a lot to do, but he knew their little ragtag team would get everything into shape.

____________

Alejandro was aware of the change in ownership almost immediately. Very few knew this, but the theatre that Drama Productions made into the center of their studios was once owned by Alejandro's family a long time ago. But from what Alejandro remembered, it was said that the building was stolen from them by a prospective investor who had been rejected by the daughter of the Burromuerto ancestor. He had apparently gotten her under the influence of something and had her sign the ownership of the theatre to him.

No matter how much his family fought the thievery, the judge at the time was unfortunately a friend of the man who stole the theatre from them. And any time they tried to get the theater back over the years, something always happened.

So somehow, it became a tradition for a Burromuerto man to haunt the theatre as one very smart Burromuerto woman got tired of all the drama surrounding the theatre and pretended to place a curse on it. The curse basically said that as long as the theatre isn't in the ownership of a Burromuerto, it would forever be haunted.

A Burromuerto boy would be chosen to play the Phantom once the one preceding them was unable to do so. His father never had to be the Phantom, and they all thought a new one wouldn't need to be chosen for a long while until news hit that their Phantom, his Uncle Julio, had had an accident and passed.

He didn't even get to know how he passed. The next thing he knew, the family gathered and discussed a replacement before even speaking about the funeral preparations. It had angered Alejandro so much, but he had to hold his tongue. Though, he probably wouldn't be put in the running considering he was young and the Phantom had to at least have finished high school.

That's what he thought until he accidentally found out the José was chosen through random drawing, and his father and brother didn't want that and so they started plotting how to push someone else into the running.

...He got caught listening and was punished. When the family saw him next, it was in his room while he was being seen by the family's private doctor for 3rd degree burns. The worst one being on his face.

He could hear the whispers....

He could hear the malicious laughs....

He heard the final decree that without his looks, he was nothing, and he no longer had a future.

Therefore, he was named the Phantom.

He was so angry and devastated, but he had no choice. The only way he'd have a roof over his head, food to eat, and medication would be to play the Phantom and so he had.

He didn't know that his parents, his family! Was basically responsible for the world's most dangerous competition shows made by Drama Productions. Apparently, at some point, the Phantom started demanding entertainment in exchange for small activity from the Phantom. The "Phantom" made demands for the shows to be as interesting as possible, and when they got bored, the haunting started up again.

Uncle Julio left journals in the underground tunnels that the Phantom made their home, and he explained that he was afraid. He was afraid of the demands the family wanted him to give to the producers that they called "entertainment."

He had heard about the volcano incident before he was burned. He hadn't even thought for one iota of a second that his family had been responsible for that.

Now, he was terrified.

__________________

A Phantom of the Opera inspired story but modern too!!!

Alejandro's family is awful and evil, and he doesn't want to follow them, but he doesn't know how. He has publicly been declared dead when he was 17, nearly 18.

Now he's 27, and he doesn't know how long he can do this anymore. It's one day as he's walking around the studio and observing the new workers that he spotted him. An angel amongst the people.

He was beautiful.

Even the nasally tone of his voice was like music to Alejandro's ears.

Then, one day, he saw the man without his many layers. Apparently, an intern accidentally spilled coffee on him, hot coffee, and Chris demanded he strip. He saw why a moment later. Scars. Scars like his own!

He was perfect! Noah was perfect! (He found out his name in this instance as well since Chris yelled it).

Alejandro found himself enamored with the man and maybe sort of stalked him while he was at work, but he couldn't help it! He was a treasure.

He had to woo him!

Noah was a little weirded out when he started getting roses out of nowhere, but he just brushed it off the first couple of times until he got letters as well. Apparently, he had a secret admirer.

He was a little flattered, but more so curious.

He had to find out who it was.

He loved a good mystery.