myheartachesthoughts

[myheartachesthoughts]

“Why are you so dramatic”

I’m literally a teenage girl what do you expect

[myheartachesthoughts]

sometimes, you do and you say things that reminds me of why I hated you to the core when I was fourteen

[myheartachesthoughts]

Why do parents have such a hatred for oldest daughters?

[myheartachesthoughts]

Did I really had a reason to be so mad with the world or was I just fourteen?

[myheartachesthoughts]

The pain you decided to ignore

It didn’t grew inside of me but around me

Spiralling around my body

Like a friend I don’t see

Cheering on me and comfort me

When you couldn’t see

[myheartachesthoughts]

i’ve always preferred chocolate over vanilla but this childish flavour make me feel like i’ve never grown up. adults always choose sophisticated flavours like pistachio or raspberry but never plain chocolate. have they forgot about their childhood, when sweet could never be too sweet, when vanilla was too plain, not flavoured enough. have they forgot how they used to beg their mothers for chocolate? now I feel bad when everyone take vanilla and I have a swirl because maybe they think the same thing about me. maybe i'm too sugary for their boring personality or maybe they’re holding on less tightly to their childhood than me

[myheartachesthoughts]

3AM resolutions

When the morning come and you think about what you’ve became

Crying yourself to sleep

Then you remember who you were

Happy smiling girl finally facing the world

Then only for a minute

You need to change your mind

Becoming that girl again

[myheartachesthoughts]

My mother makes me angry. Unfunny jokes makes me laugh. The happiest songs make me cry, bringing back memories I don’t even have. Baking makes me happy. Drawing makes me feel like I don’t belong. Being older than 20 scares me so much. Seeing women fighting for their rights give me shivers. Looking at my friends makes me jealous. My job makes me feel overwhelmed.

I am me and that’s the best thing I could ever be. Or is it?

[myheartachesthoughts]

I never let myself be angry because I know tears are going to slip off and I refuse to be seen as a hysterical woman

[myheartachesthoughts]

Nothing waste a girl’s youth like male validation

Being told that my mirror would fall in love with me

But why fall with me when I have stars on my body?

What I hate about myself I love it on you

“I’m 18 I hope it doesn’t bother you”

Of course it doesn’t if you call me beautiful and praise me for the body I hate

The only reason 12 years old look like 17

Is because we were told since the beginning

That our body is the greatest weapon we have

And that catching a man’s eye is our greatest victory

[myheartachesthoughts]

If one day you find yourself being in love with me

You’ll only ever get my words

Because I can write better than I can love

So I beg your pardon if I can’t hold your hand or hug you as thought as you do

But I’ve always been better with arranging letters together

Than kissing you

[myheartachesthoughts]

Yesterday I was crying trying to find a will to not end it all

Today I am signing and laughing with my friends, trying to forget the tears I shed for several hours in the middle of the night

I wonder if I’m being depressed or dramatic

[myheartachesthoughts]

My clothes are all packed

I took back my plates and my cup that were in the cupboard

I made my bed for the first time in a while and I washed that dress you were wearing in our first date

Another morning then I’ll say goodby

[myheartachesthoughts]

And I know someday

I’ll be on my knees

Begging you to forgive me for the awful sister I was

But until that day

I’ll watch you grow up through my room’s closed door

[myheartachesthoughts]

If your home is not the first thing you learned to run from then what is it?

My house always been warm and cozy

Then I turned 14 and

Asked myself

Since when did my house turned so cold?

Since when did my home turned into a house?

Because whatever you tell me

There is a difference between a house and a home

A house is walls and roof

And a home, is somewhere you feel comfortable and where you can be yourself

I wish I could have transfer my home feeling to a person

Because a person that feels like home, it’s nothing like the building in itself

But I never managed

None of my friends are able to take care of my home

My relationship with my mother became more bitter than sweet

Two snakes constantly biting each other waiting to see who’s going to die first

My father just don’t understand

My brother, he’s too young

Home became manners and tears

Books and fake scenarios

Everything that detaches me from my house

Are the only thing I feel welcome in

[myheartachesthoughts]

Dialogue Prompt List

Staying the Night

warnings: mentions of sexual content

☾

⇻ “Please stay. I don’t think I can be alone tonight.”

⇻ “Will you sleep with me? I know how that sounds. I just mean — I feel safe when you’re there.”

⇻ “I’ll be here the whole night okay? Nothing will get to you while I’m here.”

⇻ “I don’t have nightmares when you’re there.”

⇻ “I don’t want you to be alone tonight and honestly, I don’t really want to be alone either.”

⇻ “I’m staying. End of discussion. You have to learn to let people take care of you.”

⇻ “Well, I can think of some ways to wear you out.”

⇻ “I’d rather fuck than stare at the ceiling counting sheep.”

⇻ “It doesn’t have to mean anything. I just don’t want to feel lonely tonight. I want to feel good for once.”

⇻ “Please, don’t go. I need— I need someone. I need you.”

⇻ “You don’t have to pretend to be fine. If you need me to stay, I will.”

⇻ “You need someone right now and I’m the one that’s here. Let me be what you need.”

⇻ “I can’t sleep unless someone’s with me.”

⇻ “It’s not a big deal.”

⇻ “It’s just sleeping… right?”

⇻ “You’re freezing. Come here.”

⇻ “My bed feels empty without you there.”

⇻ “This is embarrassing but… will you… stay?”

⇻ “I’ll stay awake until you fall asleep.”

⇻ “Move over. I’m sleeping by the door.”

⇻ “You only have to ask. I’ll always stay.”

⇻ “Are you sure you don’t mind?” “I’m sure.”

⇻ “Come here. Might as well cuddle.”

⇻ “Never thought I’d say this, but I miss your snoring.”

⇻ “You talk in your sleep. It’s cute.”

⇻ “You’re so warm / cold.”

⇻ “I’ll hold you.”

⇻ “I’m here now, and I’ll be here when you wake up, and I’ll be here as long as you want me to be after that.”

[myheartachesthoughts]

me describing my favorite fictional characters: