#unrealistic suit standards

[ff7-has-taken-me-over]

Can we some more of soap with a fatty please? I just need more of people thirsting over his ass

Why does my tumblr not notify me of these??? Anyway! Anything for a fellow people simping over soap and his ass lover!

Also I’ve been put onto other ships like Gaz x Soap and Price x Soap so be prepared for everyone thirsting over Soap.

Ps. I got mad side tracked with this and Soap’s ass ended being like a side feature sorry 😭

The idea I’ve got in my head is the 141 have an event to go to yeah? It’s a formal event so everyone’s dressing up nice. Everybody’s in fitted suits and looking all neat and trimmed and proper. Even Ghost has left the usual balaclava for a simple surgical mask.

But the real surprise here (more so than Price abandoning his hat for once and Ghost the mask) is that Soap’s suit is tailored to near perfection on him. Now don’t get them wrong they had all seen Soap in fitted clothes, the man seemed to own nothing besides jeans and tight shirts, but they’d never seen him in something tailored to bring out all of his assets.

It sits tight around his biceps and tapers in at the waist and the colour of the jacket brings out his eyes. But the real shock is the pants he has on. They can tell he’s not happy about them, constantly running his hands along his thighs and plucking at the tight material but that just seems to accentuate them even more.

They look painted on with the way they cling to his thighs and ass, shifting with every step he takes and threatening to rip if he moves too fast.

Soaps grumbling about them, something about how the brass wouldn’t let him walk around in his usual kilt cause it’d upset the older folk or something, ‘fucking let the old bags cark it for all I care, beats having to wear this shit’

But everyone else is silently thanking the brass for blessing their eyes with this rare sight.

Gaz looks a little pink in the face but he still approaches Soap with a smug little grin, blatantly checking his best friend out as he talks to him, “You gotta admit the pants make your ass look downright sinful McTavish.”

The Scot scoffs but nobody’s missing the flush it brings to his face, and suddenly it’s a competition to see who can make him blush more from the compliments they lay on him.

Price, in all his old man ways as the sergeants like to call it, simply comes right up next to Soap and slings an arm around his waist as they talk to a couple of soldiers from another platoon. Nothing really happens at first but then they’re shifting with the crowd and Price’s hand is slipping down and resting on the curve of his ass, fingers brushing gently and threatening to squeeze but not quite getting there.

When he leans in and speaks his voice is low, sounding like gravel and sending heat up Soap’s spine, “You look good lad.”

The words and light brushes of touch make him reden to an alarming degree if the worry in the soldier’s eyes is anything to go off of.

Ghost doesn’t really say much, he was never really a words person but also he can’t actually make his mouth move in the face of everything. So instead he just blatantly looks his sergeant over, holding eye contact when he catches Soap’s eye and relishing in the way his ears redden under his stare. And if he’s trying to hide the fact that he may or may not be drooling under the mask?? Well, he’s doing a damn fine job of it.

Alejandro is blatant about it because of course he is. He eventually manages to back Soap into a corner, leaning in close and relishing in the way the man stares back defiantly though there is a hint of a smile on his lips and the apples of his cheeks are starting to darken slightly.

“You look stunning mi amor.” It’s a blanket compliment but from the way Alejandro’s eyes dip, quick but with clear purpose, it’s easy to tell exactly what he’s talking about. Soap snorts at it but there’s no denying the way his smile turns shy and the redness in his face darkens even further.

Nobody’s entirely sure what Rudy had done. They had all watched him drag Soap out onto the dance floor, the two of them dancing with the other couples and exchanging quiet words and smiles.

After a bit Rudy had leant down, saying something or other that had the Scot tripping over his own feet, completely red in the face and trying to hide it away on the other man’s shoulder. Rudy had looked smug over it, shooting the rest of the guys a wink and little eye brow wiggle that they can’t help but find mildly adorable.

In the end it’s clear to see who won that little competition, but none of them really feel like they lost anything when they got to watch Soap blush up to his ears because of them. The tight pants and his amazing ass were a nice bonus as well.

[deus-ex-mona]

omg it’s yujiro’s first song as “someya yujiro” what if i cried

[sandinthemachine]

his little fanny pack on his desidia ghillie suit makes me giggle, him and his sniper are out on the field when they start feeling eachother up and he pulls back all excited like "wait!" then pulls out a condom and/or lube from it

oh my god

I like the idea that he has a lot of weird shit that couldn't conceivably fit in there but somehow does, so he's just prepared for every situation, yay us

[lemedstudent2021]

AND THEY DONT EVEN LOOK HALF THAT GOOD WTF?

ive never been huge on fashion events and runways so in many ways i am biased, and the met gala, among others, isnt a huge deal where im from (so i dont see it on my feed or plastered all over social media for example). and i only know its happened after the memes lol

my point is that theres so many examples of the attendees looking absolutely ridiculous or impractical (which to be fair is kinda a rich person thing) and for what? would it have hurt anyone to raise funds for gaza for example? or the millions of other struggling human beings we share the planet with?

the juxtaposition of having a bunch of people half naked or covered in too much fabric while others are dying of malnutrition and senseless violence is jarring as it is horrifying and inhumane

the net worth of the people in that building alone was probably enough to feed and medicate and clothe everyone on the planet.

[comfortless]

what's ur most unconventional Headcanon? like ones you have that most of the fandom doesn't agree with. mine is that I don't think h's 6'10, in my mind he's closer to 6'6 or 6'7. Also I don't think he would be the most caring bf 😶😶 like not abusive or anything, but to me he will almost always prioritize himself in the long run

HA… well….. i do not think any of mine are too strange! but i can not ever shush when someone has lent an ear to listen!!

warning for nsfw content, mentions of injury, and unhealthy relationship stuff below the cut.

i agree with you about his height. he’s significantly taller than Simon, but i would place him at 6’7”-6’8” max. i’m no health or military expert, but i do not think that he could do the work that he does efficiently if he were a complete Goliath. he would stand out so easily! and there are a slew of issues that can stem from someone being “too tall”. he probably doesn’t have the best posture, either.

i love the conventionally attractive, long-haired König headcanons, they’re fun! but ultimately… very, very unrealistic for my interpretation of König. i tend to side with Salome and Ghost when it comes to their takes on how he actually looks under the hood. his character description suggests that his face is scary, and judging by the game that he’s in, i do not think that the other operators are going to find some goth guy nor… Jim Boeven… to be worthy of such a rumor!

König’s face is always going to be a fluctuating thing for me, heavily dependent on the setting/time period i’m shoving him into or reading about. the thing that’s stuck with me however has always been facial scarring!! where he got it? who knows… i mentioned it on my headcanons post, but the cause is just as changing as his appearance.

i like the thought of him being a little different looking: crooked teeth, pockmarks, maybe a harelip or a broken nose, burn scars, something. maybe his hair is so light it simply looks as if he doesn’t have eyebrows. maybe a combination of all of those things! the less conventionally attractive the better, it’s not his face that had us scrambling from the rafters with our hearts in our hands, after all. though i am and always will be a glitched default face model König defender. it’s just so unbearably adorable to think of that soft, sad-eyed face making that much noise while he’s rushing around in battle. ):

and though i believe he would have the best intentions at heart… you are right, he is likely a very selfish lover. still hopelessly devoted and needy, but he would be the king of double standards. most decisions are made with his preferences in mind, and the bullying has stuck with him. König is insecure as hell when it comes to anything but his skills in killing or bashing through a door.

he likes the idea of you dressing up for him, but he’s also actively pulling up your dress/top to hide your cleavage if he even thinks another man may have glanced your way. yet… he will go to the gym shirtless, and if other women happen to ogle him, well it’s just fine because he didn’t notice them anyway.

you don’t like the house you’re living in when you move in together? well he does, you’re staying… he’ll just fix it up a little to better suit your needs. even if he screws up setting up a new counter or painting, that can all be fixed.

you want to go out with your friends? he should be allowed to come with you… spending time with you makes him happy. why wouldn’t you want him to come too? yet, when he wants time alone to focus on his aim, decompress with a book, or mess around with a vehicle or a house project, you’re expected to leave him be.

he’s too blunt about what he does for work, doesn’t bat an eye when he tells you he put a bullet through someone’s head and watched the spray. he’s so used to it, it doesn’t even faze him anymore, but… you don’t want to hear about it? oh that must mean you think he’s something filthy or worse. he’s not going to cry, but he might bring it up when you tell him about something you enjoy.

just ridiculous, petty things that would drive most up a wall, but he’s firm in whatever he decides. there’s always a little room for compromise, but not much without an argument.

he has his savings account and the house is in his name in case you decide to leave. it would gut him, of course, but a part of him also expects it.

he’s not above begging for you to stay, trying any way that he can to convince you, but… he’s never expected to have things handed to him easily. his childhood wasn’t the best, why would his adulthood be any better? the way he sees it is simple: he doesn’t hit you, his cock and heart are reserved solely for you, if you can’t love him enough to stay, then… maybe you’re not any different from the people he’s known before.

he’s self aware enough to know he can be a complete arschloch, thinks with his cock more than his brain, but he’s completely lost when it comes to matters like love. he wants to console you when you cry, when you’re angry, but asking you a dozen times just why you feel such a way while squishing you into a too-tight embrace doesn’t help much. his search history is filled with things like “why is my girlfriend mad at me” or “how to make a woman stop ignoring me”. his communication toward you isn’t great, but he tries in his own way. very easy to break an argument up when he tells you some silly, scripted thing like, “I’m here for you. I’m listening.” when under normal circumstances he’s staring at you with wide-eyes and swallowing hard the very second you seem a little ruffled. you tell him to stop reciting some guide he read online, and he’s immediately worried sick you’re going to think him a complete fool, in utter denial about ever having searched something like that up.

can’t see him as being god’s gift to women in the bedroom at all. König has probably watched a lot of porn. he doesn’t care for the scripted, practiced stuff, but his tastes have always been a little odd. the amateur, solo stuff is what piques his interest the most. he knows a vibrator can make a woman come, knows that a dildo can be nice too if she sets the pace. what he’s watched with a proper couple, well… the men are always smaller than him. the terms and dynamics are lost on him, he knows what a safe word is and that he should be a gentleman and make sure his partner finishes too, but each time that’s happened has been a miracle really. he’s not a virgin, but he’s never had a partner long enough to bother learning. if he can make you feel good and vice versa, that’s enough, right..?!

he’s not going to bludgeon you with his dick, he knows he’s a bit too big and thick to just fuck you recklessly, but often times he does get excited or fretful— too deep or too shallow, flicks your clit like it’s indestructible or keeps his head between your thighs waaay after you’ve already come. he’ll stop when you ask, when you’re teary eyed and overstimulated repeating the ridiculous German word he makes you use. not above begging you to use your hand on him instead, though…

switching positions is difficult if you’re a lot smaller than him. he’s not against having you on your knees, but he wants to be so close, pant into your ear about how good you feel, smother you with his weight all the while. missionary is a nightmare because he’s drooly and comes far too quickly when he can see your face and overpower you like this, cue further squishing even after he’s done; you’re likely going to be lying beneath him all night. cowgirl seems to work best, though he’s a bit too fond of having your tits so accessible - expect biting!!

when i try to think of König with any sort of hobby my mind just blanks. i think he would try a lot, but never stick to one thing! he’s got a few sporadic collections, but nothing he keeps up with to the same caliber as his guns and knives. books are often half-finished these days, keeping focused long enough to sit through a puzzle or the like is rare. definitely longs to have something for comfort that isn’t some winding trail to no where or suffocating you in himself to just have a hint of what it feels like to be entirely happy and ‘normal’.

he’s become a bit of an amalgamation of all of the things he liked as a child: knights with their swords he thinks of as his knives, deities with bolts of thunder cascading from their hands like the bullets from his guns, loves in the way he read men of myths fall in love - utterly unfathomably devoted but always the leader… if he could he would probably whisk himself and the object of his affection to another place entirely where he could be someone deserving: someone who’s loved despite the way that he looks or behaves, someone who’s never had to question what love was at all.

[serpentface]

I've been a fan of your work for a bit now and I gotta say your creature design is peak! What is your process?

Thank you! The vast majority of my creature design here is just taking parts of the irl earth tree of life and going 'what if the niche was different', so this does not necessarily apply to settings that are fully alien (though some core elements would apply universally to any 'grounded' creature design)

When looking at the tree of life you will find a lot of patterns in unrelated animals who have adapted for the same purposes. For example raptorial claws are extremely common in ambush hunting arthropods and occur in very similar shapes in entirely unrelated species, because they are highly efficient adaptations of arthropod limbs to grasp and hold onto prey)

(water scorpion, mantis, mantisfly, whip scorpion, ambush bug, mantis shrimp)

So a lot of design questions are answered by asking about the imaginary animal's niche and referencing real life animals that fill this niche

Like these are anatomically based on pterosaurs, but addressing the question of 'what if pterosaurs expanded to a similar niche to penguins (flightless swimming predatory birds of fish and squid) and a branch from there became fully aquatic (filling predatory niches closer to dolphins or seals). '

I think the key to making it feel naturalistic is to not FORCE it to fit the mold. The question is not 'what if x was shaped like y' but 'if x occupied y niche, what adaptations would be most advantageous/are most common in extant analogous animals?'

Uhrwal (dolphin looking ones) reference a mixture of dolphins and penguins in terms of head shape, as they have beaks and this is a likelier route than something more seal-like or etc. They are egg layers and by necessity have ties to the land, so the rest of their anatomy references pinnipeds (quadrupedal, haul out to reproduce) more heavily. They also have whiskers for prey detection, mostly because I love giving things whiskers but it's plausible in that most animals in similar niches have whiskers and those that don't (cetaceans, analogous fish species) have echolocation or other senses (chemical, electrical) that assist in prey detection which a pterosaur is less likely to develop than simply modifying their pycnofibers into whiskers

Tiviit very very very heavily reference penguins as they are basically in the exact same niche (semi aquatic previously flighted beaked egg layers), but remain quadrupedal (like pterosaurs) rather than bipedal (like avians) and their anatomy is adjusted to suit this. Varkheshi (big tiviit, bottom right) hunt large prey (rather than fish and squid) fill a niche that no penguin/bird in general actually occupies, and have hooked and serrated beaks to bleed prey and bulky heads with large muscle attachments for increased bite force to rip and tear flesh of subdued prey items. Etc.

Beyond that, I'm extensively referencing similar animals for details like coloration and etc. There's no dolphins or penguins/seabirds with the Exact color and patterning shown here, but similar colors and patterning are very common.

It's pretty different with the sophonts because I've basically worked backwards with them and have had to brute force their designs into realism

The setting was originally more of a standard fantasy with most of the nonhuman ones being basically anthros, or otherwise very unrealistic and unsatisfying designs for what turned into a very grounded setting.

So I kind of had to brute force them into a place on the evolutionary tree and attempt to have satisfying answers to 'why are they walking upright?' 'why do they have hands?' 'how do they use tools?'.

Which btw is REALLY not a good way to go about this process if you're aiming for realism, because it will back you into corners where you have to choose between bullshitting heavily or scrapping key elements altogether, and I had to wipe the slate almost entirely in a couple of places to come to a design/premise I'm satisfied with (especially archin, which used to be 3 ft tall anthro bees). And there's still a LOT of questionable elements in these designs, like I don't think I've made a satisfactory excuse for qilik to have hands or done a good job on said hands (a transitional gliding avian would be FAR more likely to use its beak than its increasingly vestigial hands as a manipulating limb). Yotici are also kind of a mess

[hwnglx]

oh can you please do a reading on enhypen member's ideal type, if you don't mind? thank you. <3

thought i'd include a short (.. ig?) summary of them as bf's. i recommend listening to each of the songs while reading through every member, i chose ones that i felt would really suit their dynamic with their lovers. (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

enhypen's ideal types based on tarot and astrology, take it with a grain of salt

heeseung virgo venus

physical traits pagofw, char, 3ofw

youthful appearance. energetic and lively aura. athletic build. seems to be very open to all types of looks -> doesn't have a specific type.

personality traits 8ofp, moon, 3ofc, wheel

heeseung likes people who put a lot of effort into their relationships. he's very mature and knowledgable, so he's aware that commitments take a lot of work. he needs someone who shares that mindset with him. the type of person who's willing to reflect on and deeply think about their actions. his virgo venus makes him want to be able to have deep conversations with his partner that just flow. he needs there to be a natural understanding between him and his loved one. he needs someone clean and wise who adapts well to change, but can also have let lose and have fun sometimes. though he definitely wants his partner to have a sense of maturity so they're on the same wavelength, he doesn't like them being stuck up or uptight. he's attracted to people who are sociable and get along with others easily.

“i don't hate the way you keep me up your touch blurred my vision it's your world and i'm just in it”

him as a boyfriend 8ofp, kingofc

+ as i said, not only does he expect his partner to work hard for the connection, he's also more than willing to work on himself, in order to be a trustworthy, kind and respectable boyfriend. his venus in virgo makes him not only very loving and considerate, but also very attentive, observant and detail-oriented. he'll probably surprise you with how well he remembers the small things you told him about yourself. gift you things you talked about wanting very long ago, or take you to places that are uniquely special to you two only, like the place where you first met. a very understanding, devoted and thoughtful boyfriend. his virgo venus also makes him very selfless, so all his focus will be on serving and pleasing you. if you can, you'll chose the menu, you'll chose the date location, you'll chose the movie you two watch. you'll probably have to remind him to think about himself from time to time as well. - although heeseung will be very self-sacrificing, he's very selective over who he dates. virgo is a sign that's all about perfection so he has very high expectations and standards not everybody is able to meet. the 8 of pentacles (card of hard work and effort) coming out contiuously makes sense. also, he'll probably get surprisingly upset if things don't go after plan, like you not giving him the reaction he wanted to see or the date he planned for you two somehow not working out. he probably also will struggle showing his affection in a physical manner and be more reserved. he can easily overthink everything concerning your relationship and be overly cautious, since he wants nothing but perfection for you.

jay taurus venus

physical traits 10ofw, 2ofp, 10ofc, 6ofw

more mature look. balanced and harmonious facial features. very glamorous and attractive beauty. someone who draws everyones gazes in. so pretty that it's almost unrealistic.

personality traits highpr, 7ofw, 4ofp, 8ofp

jay is a serious man. so he needs someone mature and intelligent, who doesn't only take life just as seriously, but also devotes themselves to the relationship just as much as he does. like.. he'll literally give his all to you (heart, soul and money) so he would like that to be reciprocated, at least in an emotional sense. he likes the type of person who has a lot of inner depth to them and carries a sense of mystery with them. someone who is strong, has thick skin and is able to fiercely stand up for what they believe in. he likes people with a hard shell, who aren't very easy to figure out. he'd probably also really be attracted people who aren't afraid to challenge his opinions as well. although that could easily lead to him bickering with them, that's more or less his love language. he wants someone who has their own values and doesn't get swayed easily.

“the flowers still are blooming then leaves will turn again but time will be frozen for us”

him as a boyfriend kingofp, 7ofw

+ because of his taurus venus, he's all about sensual pleasures in relationships. so you definitely will get a lot of expensive presents, flowers, fine wines, dining at elegant restaurants with nice music or sleeping on expensive silk sheets. and he'd probably also take you shopping and carry all your gucci bags for you. his favorite date will definitely be you two only though. he'll also be extremely protective. definitely won't shy away from confronting other people who peaked at you for a little too long lol. very loyal. you will be his top priority. he'll make it his responsibility to not only stay faithful and devoted to you but also take good care of you at all times. god forbid you ever feel sad in his presence. - my god, is this placement stubborn. he'll probably have an hour long discussion with you over the most trivial things just because he wants to hear he's right. he'll also get jealous too easily and be overly possessive. that hour long discussion might come from him accusing you of hanging out too long with your male friend or something. or you not returning his kiss in the presence of others. like, it's just way too easy for him to get mistrustful of you. he'll also overcommit and hold on to you way too tightly. even if the relationship turned toxic, he'll struggle letting go of it. men with their venus in taurus definitely aren't the best placement to break up with.

jake scorpio venus

physical traits 4ofc, 2ofc, wheel

likes people from all over the world. classic type of beauty. gorgeous and dazzling eyes. symetrical features. someone who has many different sides to them -> can go from more casual and laidback styling to elegant and expensive looks.

personality traits pageofc, 2ofsw, tower, 3ofsw+moon&herm

jake really likes his partner to have a dreamy and romantic air to them. the type of person who looks incredibly sweet and innocent on the outside, but can unexpectedly change into a completely different person once he's alone with them. someone who doesn't put all that much of themselves on display for others. he'd want his lover to have darker and more sexy sides to them, that only he is able to see. he really likes the unexpected thrills in relationships, it seems. so he'd like his partner to surprise and shock him. he's also drawn to people who are almost too sensitive. i think he likes the thought of being able to fix and heal someone. since he'd want an emotionally deep connection to the one he loves, he'd want a person who's willing to share their past bad experiences with him and trust him fully.

“as long as you're with me, you'll be just fine nothing's gonna hurt you baby nothing's gonna take you from my side”

him as a boyfriend lovers, 8ofsw, emper

+ when jake loves, he loves intensely. you can definitely expect him to be all in with your relationship. not only is he a very affectionate and sweet boyfriend who's attentive to your needs and will probably surprise you with the cutest gifts, he also has an incredibly attractive and magnetic charm. since he very much knows that, he'll be very seductive and sensual with you. maybe even seduce you at the most random or most unfitting times lol. like.. scorpio venus men are irresistable and they know it. and tbh, really damn amazing at lovemaking. we're talking intimacy. but make no mistake, he can absolutely be a gentleman with great manners when he needs to be. he'll really enjoy taking charge of the relationship and lead you. jake would actually make a great family father, i imagine him really liking that traditional life. - honestly, he can just get too much sometimes. like he'll obsess over you, and some independent people can easily feel uncomfortable with that. he can also get manipulative, he'll play games and use tactics to test you sometimes. like make you jealous on purpose and test your patience, just to get a reaction out of you. he'll enjoy seeing the power he has over you a little too much. while at the same time, he himself will get jealous way too easily. his fear of losing you can make him too possessive.. once you date a venus in scorpio, you basically belong to them. it just ain't for the weak.

sunghoon scorpio venus

physical traits hieroph, aceofp, magic

more humble and traditional beauty. natural features. healthy and luscious hair. someone who isn't over the top with their styling but still has something intriguing to them.

personality traits 7ofsw, 4ofp, tower+3ofp, pageofc

sunghoon seems to really appreciate loyalty in his partners, which makes sense since his venus is also in possessive scorpio. like he actually gives me very possessive vibes. so i think he'd really want his lover to be someone who sticks with him, even during unexpected changes and challenging times. since he himself will devote himself to his relationships completely, he appreciates trustworthy lovers who won't make him question their faithfulness. he also likes it when his partners aren't too open with everyone and keep to themselves more, someone more on the introverted and reserved side. but also gentle and kind, someone who is in tune with their emotions and intuition. he doesn't want people who are superficial and needs a lover who's interested in developing close and deep connections to not only others, but especially to him.

“nervous, trip over my words you're so pretty it hurts baby, i'm yours”

him as a boyfriend strength, knofp, 5ofp&queofc, star, lovers

+ another scorpio venus, another very passionate lover. tbh, i always thought that this guy must have some scorpio placements in him, since there is a certain intense and darker energy to him. so finding out his venus and mars are in scorpio, makes a lot of sense. sunghoon will really want to be a strong and reliable existence for his lover. he'll be a boyfriend who can't stand seeing you suffer and will put his all into taking care of you, especially emotionally. his scorpio venus makes him want to feel like you're all his, so he will make sure you will comfortable and nurtured whenever you're with him. so, that you basically have no other choice than to be in love. like, he can actually get surprisingly affectionate when he's with his loved one. and really make you feel special. he'll love spending time with you alone, so he'll put all his effort into making the time beautiful for you two. - although he'll be very caring when it comes to your emotions, he'll probably prefer keeping his own feelings hidden away. i can really imagine it becoming a problem in the relationship, it'll be too onesided. like, he'll have his entire focus on you but you'll rarely be able to really talk about his inner world in an open manner. he'll also be unexpectedly moody and probably surprise you with how emotionally invested he can actually get once you two fight. he'll be very consumed by your relationship, but at the same time, not like being honest about that and making himself vulnerable.

sunoo gemini venus

physical traits death, queofsw, strength

mysterious and darker aura. looks more detached and cold from the outside. poker face with striking features. strong and intense presence. turns everyone's heads.

personality traits 9ofp, kingofp, 9ofw, fool, judg, magic

sunoo definitely seems to be attracted to mature and independent people. he really likes it when his partner is powerful and confident, the type of person that'll make him gaze in awe at them while explaining the amount of sht they've been through. since he himself is a very sensitive person, he needs someone who's very strong and better at handling difficulties. in a "been there, done that" kinda way. they have their know-how now. someone who can teach him to let go and trust in himself more. a reliable person he can lean on. he likes people who know their path and have a strong purpose in life. his gemini venus also makes him value communication a lot, so he needs someone who clicks with him very well when talking. the type of person he could talk to about everything for hours without it getting boring.

“i'll tell you how i almost died while you're bringing me back to life baby you're my angel, angel baby”

him as a boyfriend 7ofw, temp, 9ofc, 7ofsw, aceofsw

+ not only is sunoo a person with almost scary duality to him anyway, his venus in gemini makes him have the same duality in romance as well. things definitely won't get boring with him as a lover. his love language can be sweet acts of service for you, like making you breakfast (i can just picture sunoo making the cutest little breakfast for his lover so well i'm in tears). but he'll especially enjoy having hour-long deep conversations with you, where you share your hopes and dreams and talk about life. he'll enjoy texting you all the time, probably send you the cutest good night texts and many lovey dovey heart emojis. he'll also be very flirty, adventurous and enjoy many different types of activities with you, just keep him stimulated at all times. - as i said, gemini venus people can be very two-faced. his cancer and aries combination makes him very hot and cold anyway, but his gemini venus can also lead to him suddenly acting differently according to who he's with, which can make him seem dishonest or ingenuine. like, it'll almost be him putting on different masks every time circumstances change. and you'll just be left there wondering where the ever-smiling and giggly sunoo from 2 minutes ago just went? he can also easily lose interest in people. if you aren't interesting enough to him, it won't be hard for him to just look for the next, more fun person. he's also very good at playing the victim. he knows how to use his charm and wit to get what he wants, which can get irritating.

jungwon aries venus

physical traits lovers, 4ofc, devil

extremely alluring and charming aura. looks unapproachable but very attractive. magnetic and deep eyes. darker and long hair. isn't afraid to flaunt their beauty. dresses in a way that shows it off. someone you can't avert your gaze from.

personality traits knofc, pagofsw, herm

jungwon likes his partners to be very confident and self-reliant. his aries venus makes him very energetic and passionate, so he needs someone who won't be imitated by his fiery attitude in love and can keep up with that. still, aries people can have a very childlike charm too, so although he doesn't want them to depend on him, he can't stand them being too stuck up as well. he needs someone who's easygoing and fun-loving. someone who won't be afraid to openly flirt with him and be direct and straightforward. he'll be attracted to people who aren't too shy to actively pursue him and be just as bold as him. aries venus people can at times be confident to a point of delusion. so someone who can boldly challenge that will attract and intrigue him for sure.

“cause every time you strip away my pride humble me down to my knees you're exactly what i need”

him as a boyfriend devrx+magic&knofw, 8ofw

+ don't be fooled by jungwon's sweet and innocent looks, because this boy brings the word passion to a different level when it comes to romance. if he is into you, you will definitely know about it. he's aware of how irresistable he can be, so he absolutely won't shy away from using his charm and making the first move. if he sees you at a party and is intrigued, he'll probably tell you how stunning you look right in your face, no matter the circumstances. aries venus people love the thrill of a chase for sure. he'll be very big on physical affection too, so don't be surprised to have him just pull you into a kiss out of nowhere, or insist on holding your hand all the time. still, he won't be possessive in an extreme manner, so you won't have to worry about him being too clingy. he'll like you to be independent as well and give you your own space to be your own person without depending on him. - aries people are the definition of impatient. you need to keep him stimulated all the time, otherwise it's way too easy for him to get bored in your relationship. it can be hard to keep up with his energy levels and fast-paced attitude for sure. he can easily get frustrated if things in your romance progress too slowly, he'll be all in from the very beginning. his frustration can also be expressed in an overly angry manner, aries people are very short-tempered and prone to sudden bursts of anger. he can almost become scary, so definitely not for someone very soft or weak-hearted. jealousy can also become a thing, if something you did somehow hurt his ego. since aries people can be a little too self-absorbed, he won't like the thought of you liking someone more than him.

since niki is still a minor, i don't think it's right for me to do romantic readings on him. hope you can understand and still enjoyed the read ʚ♡⃛ɞ

[sungbeam]

𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞

agent!kim sunwoo x agent!fem!reader

6.3k words, enemies 2 implied lovers?, spy au, angst, action, swearing, depictions of violence/blood/weaponry, drinking, UNREALISTIC STANDARDS FOR HOW LONG SOMEONE CAN BLEED OUT T_T, mentions of murder and death, i think that's the bulk of it?

a/n: requests now closed! omg i actually had quite the trouble writing this one 🤧 but i hope it's still enjoyable!! thanks so much @shakalakaboomboo for ur req <3

There was something about the rain tonight that would make the smell of blood even more distinct. The moment you stepped out of the cab, you were hit by a wave of hot, all-consuming heat, accompanied by the insistent drumming of the downpour. The near abandoned streets tonight were doused in the scent of petrichor, and you blinked the water out of your eyes as you made your way toward the entrance of the building of interest.

Just as you had expected, Chanhee had logged your identification into the system, and your card alerted green with no problem. The man standing guard by the scanner passed you a nod. “Evening, Miss.”

You gave a nod back, sweeping your hand through your drenched hair to get it out of your eyes. “Good evening. Is there a bathroom nearby? I’m kind of new to the building.”

He pointed down the hall, around the corner. “Right that way. Have a good night.”

“Thanks, you, too. Stay dry!” You added the last part with a lighthearted smile, coaxing a similar expression from the guard who no doubt had a long night ahead of him. If everything worked out okay, he would still be able to leave alive. If everything worked out perfectly, then everyone could leave this building alive tonight.

You winced to yourself as the soles of your shoes squelched with each step, the shiny marble floors becoming even more shiny as water dripped down to form a trail to the bathroom. You found the ladies’ washroom right where the man had said it would be and let yourself in.

You saw his reflection before you even saw him. Your heart leapt in your chest, but that slowly came back down to Earth when your brain processed who it was. Eyes narrowed, you went over to the middle stall and enclosed yourself within.

“Took you long enough,” Kim Sunwoo, the bane of your existence, drawled. He stood outside of the stalls, leaning against the sink counter, with his body fully equipped with all the necessary items. He seemed to be fully dry, despite it having rained cats and dogs outside. The suit was dry, his hair was dry. Everything about him was pristine and neat and ready to go—howdy doo.

You glared at the door as if you were Superman with x-ray vision and laser eyes. There was a garment bag hanging on the back of the stall that you swiftly unzipped to swap out your drenched clothes with. “What the fuck are you doing in the women’s restroom, you perv?”

“Well, the only other person in here is you, so I wouldn’t say it was much of a scandal. It’s just you, after all,” he replied snidely.

You shivered as the air hit your cold, wet skin, and you hobbled into the pair of dress slacks that were given to you. You really hoped that Chanhee hadn’t given you a pair of chunky loafers just for “fashion’s” sake this time. (You appreciated his fashion advice on any other occasion, except when you were on an assignment.) To your relief, they were a simple pair of flats, and you dug out a note in the left shoe with Chanhee’s scrawl: Found the most boring, “practical” pair of shoes in the closet. You’re welcome.

“Do you ever worry about sounding like an asshole?” You voiced out into the echoey bathroom as you buttoned up your blouse and donned your suit jacket. “Oh, wait. I forgot that assholes don’t have to worry about sounding like an asshole.”

You could hear his eyes roll from behind the door.

Once you were done, you shoved all your sopping wet clothes into the garment bag and stepped out of the stall to twist your hair up and off your shoulders. Sunwoo eyed you from his little corner. There was a screen propped in one of his gloved hands as he went over the schematics of the building and where the two of you needed to go to retrieve the required target before the auction.

“Are we ready, princess?” He asked sarcastically while you double checked the weapons and tools hidden in certain parts of your clothing. Knives, ammo, lock picks, and a gun.

You ignored his mocking nickname for you. "Do you have the money?" You asked him as you both started making your way to the bathroom door.

"No." He nearly crashed face first into your back from how abruptly you stopped. He frowned. "Can you move—?"

You whirled on him. "We can't go to an auction to bid on an item without money," you said, feeling your pulse rise in your neck.

"We can," he huffed, reaching around you to open the door and usher you out, "if we're not there to bid."

"Since when were we not going to bid for it?" Your head went on a swivel, voice low, as you stuck close to Sunwoo on the way over to the private set of elevators further down the hall. It was awfully quiet in the lobby, save for the sounds of your breathing and footsteps.

Sunwoo passed you his device and reached into his jacket pocket to toss you a card on a lanyard. "Since Changmin and I decided it would be easier to just steal the damn thing instead."

Your head raced as you skimmed through the schematics and plans that Sunwoo and Changmin had come up with. These were blueprints of the auction room, neighboring rooms, and vents. Yeah, chunky loafers would not have done you any favors tonight.

But footwear wasn't the problem. The problem was that half the team had gone and decided on a whole new plan without consulting the other half. You jammed your finger against the "up" button to summon the elevator. "Of course, you would go behind my back and just decide this."

He tucked his hands in his pockets, his expression unreadable. "The director already okayed it. Plus, they weren't willing to give us more money than they approved of."

The elevator doors opened, and the both of you stepped inside. Sunwoo reached over and jammed his thumb against floor forty-two.

You leaned your head against the elevator wall, eyes fluttering closed. You would have throttled the director for not approving of more money being put towards this assignment. You thought it would only make sense since the flash drive that was being auctioned off tonight contained such highly sensitive information. It just didn't make sense.

"If we won the auction the right way," Sunwoo suddenly said as you mentally cartwheeled through about a dozen potential scenarios and concerns, "that would simply put a target on our backs for those who want it. Stealing it first would keep our identities low profile."

You had to admit that his words had some reason to them. You watched the numbers on the elevator tick-tock its way up to level forty-two. "So what's the plan, Oh Mighty One?" You asked, inspecting the card on the lanyard around your neck. It had the same identification as the card you'd used to get into the building, but this one had a special seal in the corner that would no doubt be used to get you into the auction itself.

"You're gonna cut the lights, and I'm gonna steal the drive."

Your head whipped toward him. "You're shitting me. I'm not a man-in-the-chair, Sunwoo."

"Never said you were," he said. "It's just too risky to have us both go for it."

Something creeped into your chest and your fingers clenched around your lanyard. "Don't give me that bullshit," you said, having to pull back a full-on snarl. "Just say you have zero faith in me to my face." It was just like the academy all over again. You could hear his taunts egging you on from across the sparring mat, could envision his gaze cutting toward you with every first rank he received. He was good at almost everything, while you had to haul ass to even get to second.

You were so sick of being underestimated.

He considered you for a moment, but you couldn't look him in the eye, choosing instead to stare straight ahead at the steel doors of the elevator. He opened his mouth to say something, but the elevator slowed to a stop and the two of you had to walk out onto the floor.

The two of you fell into step with one another as you made your way down the hall to the large pair of doors at the end. There were two men stationed on either side, dressed in the typical dark suits and earpieces. Attached to their belts, you noted the shotguns hanging there. If you could get closer, you might be able to identify the model…

"IDs," said the one on the right when you and Sunwoo approached.

You and Sunwoo held your cards face up, and both guards took a device from their back pockets to scan the seals in the corner. When their devices lit up green, they reached for the doors and beckoned you through.

The auction room itself looked cavernous with its wall of floor-to-ceiling windows, ceiling dripping with panels of modern lighting, and pedestals littered about the room like a fancy showroom of expensive black market items. You and Sunwoo stuck together mainly, thankfully not sticking out like a sore thumb thanks to the business smart attire you'd changed into. There were a few people with more luxury branded garments on, but other than that, it seemed Chanhee had hit the dress code right on its nose.

Sunwoo tapped you on the arm with the back of his hand, his fingers subtly marking out the chairs, the second floor railing around the perimeter of the room, and the guarded door by the foot of the stage. "We need a distraction to get in there. Once we get inside, we'll have plenty of time to grab the thingamajig since it's the last on the—"

"Hold on—the thingamajig?" Your face screwed up in incredulity.

"Are you judging? Why are you judging?" He asked, plucking twin flutes of champagne off an orbiting waiter's tray. He handed you one. "Drink this. Act natural."

You rolled your eyes and chugged the glass. While you did think Sunwoo was good at a lot of things, alcohol tolerance was one of the few where you came out on top. Right now, you were going to take full advantage of it because that liquid courage was definitely needed. "You say that like I've never done this before, lightweight."

"Oh, shut up."

You and Sunwoo lingered for a moment, pretending to eye the list of auction items being displayed on the flat screen on stage. According to the countdown timer, the two of you only had a few minutes before—

The lights went out.

A gasp fell over the crowd as you placed your empty glass on a nearby table and grabbed Sunwoo by the upper arm. "That wasn't you, was it?" You whispered to him, making your way toward the side of the room where the back door was.

"Yes, because I can control electricity with my mind," he hissed back at you.

"Everyone, please remain calm—" a man had stepped onto the stage and was attempting to placate everyone in the room. He had his hands held out, an easygoing smile on his face. All of the guards and staff members were holding up emergency flashlights, and a few other guests were beginning to pull out their cellphones.

Yours and Sunwoo's eyes darted from the crowd to the man guarding the back door. To your surprise, you saw the man pause at something in his earpiece, before turning around to enter the door he was guarding.

"Fuck, catch the door," you said to Sunwoo, grabbing the glass out of his hand and shoving him toward the door.

He launched for it, barely shoving his body through the opening before it clicked shit. He grimaced as you caught up to him. "This door is fucking heavy," he said, baring his teeth at you when he noticed you were trying to prevent the champagne from spilling. "Can you put down the damn alcohol, Ln?"

"It might come in handy," you quipped, slipping in through the door behind him.

When the door shut behind you, the hallway was encased in darkness, save for the haunting red EXIT signs above your heads, one at each end of the hallway. You followed Sunwoo's lead since he'd been the one to study the blueprints of this place, your free hand grazing over the pistol hanging from your belt beneath the flap of your suit jacket.

"What the hell happened? That wasn't one of us, was it?" You voiced into the dark.

Sunwoo had whipped out a small flashlight and put the butt in his mouth to hold while he jimmied the opposite door open. "Mm-mm," his answer was muffled, but you knew what he meant. The door fell open a little too easily, and Sunwoo only cocked his head in curiosity for a moment, then he was moving forward.

The hair on the back of your neck stood up when you heard voices echoing from somewhere within this next room. The AC was jacked up to a decently high power here, keeping the room cool and dry for all the items that were supposedly being auctioned. This next room was a labyrinth of shelves, and through them, you could make out the movement of lights slicing through the spaces.

"This feels too easy," you murmured to your partner as the two of you peered through the cracks between shelves.

"Yeah, no kidding," he muttered back. "I think somebody is trying to steal something, too."

"The drive?"

"Could be."

The voices came closer, footsteps shuffling and light swarming through the shelves like visible beams through a thick fog.

You grabbed onto Sunwoo again and yanked his arm over your shoulders. You felt him stiffen. "Act drunk, you idiot," you instructed into his ear, "and when they get close enough, do the thing."

He sent you a look. "The thing? And why do I have to be the drunk one again—"

"Freeze!"

Both you and Sunwoo's heads shot up as bright lights blinded your vision. You couldn't tell how many there were—two? Three? But you felt Sunwoo relax in your hold as he sunk into the role you'd assigned him.

"I'm so sorry," you lamented, holding up the flute of champagne in your hand. "My friend over here just drank waaay too much at the open bar and started wandering."

The lights were nearing. "How did you two get back here?" Asked the same voice.

"The door was unlocked during the power outage! I am so—" Your eyes found the circle shapes of the muzzles of handguns being pointed at you and your partner when they had neared enough, "—sorry. We're just a little lost now."

You squeezed Sunwoo's side as you hobbled the two of you closer to the lights like a damsel in distress. "Just point us in the right direction and we'll be—"

If you didn't know Sunwoo like you did, you probably wouldn't have even registered what just happened. But within the blink of an eye, you felt him leave your grasp, and you tossed the glass of champagne at one of your opponents. "Hey, catch!"

On instinct, the one across from you had to drop something to catch the flying glass of champagne, and unlucky for them, it happened to be their gun. Your foot kicked that sucker like a soccer ball beneath the nearest shelf. You grabbed the champagne out of their hand—thanked them for holding it—then smashed the glass over their head.

Quick and easy, yet your heart was pounding against your chest. What the hell was going on?

When you were finished, you leaned down to pick up the fallen flashlight. Sunwoo was looming over his own opponent with his boot on the man's chest, and he pocketed the spare gun while the flashlight hung from his other hand.

You both looked at each other. "We gotta go."

"I can't believe you made me do the drunk scenario."

"Can you just shut up and focus?"

Navigating the maze of shelving was a lot easier with the flashlights. At least now, both of you could see where you were going without fear of anyone else catching you. But when neither of you found the so-called hard drive you were tasked with retrieving, you were met instead by another door leading out to another unknown location.

Sunwoo dove in headfirst. (Right, he studied the maps. Ugh.) "I have a feeling someone's taken the drive already, so be prepared to shoot."

The next room was a long corridor that sloped downward toward a lone elevator. Creepy.

You scowled. "Like I'm never prepared to shoot?"

His gaze was equally as disgruntled. "Just because you got the highest marks in all of our projectiles classes doesn't mean you'll actually shoot."

That remark was something akin to an arrow to your chest. A muscle feathered in your jaw as he called the elevator up to the floor. "You were the top of class in projectile training; you have a license to kill; and yet, you have zero kills in your stats."

How the…? "I don't have to kill to execute my objective. Those aren't assignments I take," you countered, stepping into the elevator when it opened its jaws for you.

Sunwoo crossed his arms over his chest. "Ln, you didn't even take the gun away from the guy earlier. That is protocol."

"I have a gun—"

"That's not the problem, and you know it." He snarled. He took a step near you, both of your tensions rising, heat boiling between your two gazes, nostrils flared. "Just think about it, huh? How many times could you have made it easier on yourself by shooting your way out of something? You know what I would do to have an aim like yours? It's a fucking gift in this field, Ln. And yet, here you are, too scared to even hold a gun—"

You stepped into his space, got up in his face. "You know fucking nothing about me, so quit acting like you do," you snarled and forced the tremor out of your voice. Your hand fisted at your side, close to the weapon you were cursed and gifted to always be tied to.

His tongue poked the inside of his cheek and you were so close to him that you could measure the length of his eyelashes. "What in hell happened to you?"

The elevator dinged. You'd arrived.

You pulled away, mentally shaking yourself away from this conversation. "Don't start acting like you care now."

"I don't," he said as you both walked out of the elevator into a massive underground parking structure beneath the building. "I just need to know that I can count on you if we're in trouble."

"You can," you answered. But there was a microscopic break there, and you were certain he'd heard it, too. There was a question in his stare—he was never as good with guns, but he could fight his way out of a scenario just as well. You were the right choice out of the two of you for anything long range, but the question was if you could still live up to that one-trick reputation.

The underground garage created the perfect echo chamber for loud noises. You and Sunwoo simply followed the audible cacophony coming from further within the garage. Gun rounds were being unloaded without mercy, tire squeals were shut down by no doubt those same gun shots.

You wiped your hand on your pants, sticky from the champagne from earlier, as you and your partner pressed yourselves up against two columns. Just beyond, there was an active shootout taking place—which side had the merchandise, you weren't quite sure of.

Sunwoo signaled to you in a way you recognized from games of capture the flag at the academy. Two fingers swished toward the men behind the cars closest to him, then for you, the ones on your side. Heart hammering against your ribcage, you could only nod, and enclosed your fingers around the handle of the gun in your belt.

You blindly double checked the ammunition loaded up in your firearm, but it was futile since you'd already checked in the bathroom much earlier. It was loaded completely, and very much ready to fire.

You didn't need Sunwoo to signal, because you seemed to know exactly when the other was going to whip around the stone column and take one person out at a time.

Arm—one down—a leg, oh, was that a thigh?—but there went two off your side, as easy as shooting clay pigeons. Instead of a jitteriness filling your nerves, everything seemed to muffle and calm when you had a gun between your fingers. Like second nature, you picked off people (without killing them) before they even realized their mates were gone.

You would nail them in the arm, the shoulder, the butt, the leg, then duck behind the pillar for cover. Guns had become too easy of a game for you.

You barely even noticed that the others on Sunwoo's side started shooting at both of you.

"Fuck," you heard your counterpart curse as he pressed himself against the column.

The two of you connected gazes, and he didn't even have to ask before you were pulling down the hammer again and taking aim—

"LN—YN! BEHIND YOU!"

Your heart lurched into your throat, and you dove.

A line of bullets buried themselves into the concrete where your head had been, and you winced, feeling the burn of concrete through your clothes.

You rolled behind the nearest car, swearing as you clambered to your knees for cover. Somebody had set up a few cars behind you, ready to take you out with an automatic rifle.

"Sunwoo, you need to cover me," you shouted at him, glancing over your shoulder for his visual confirmation.

He gave a firm nod, already leaping into hand-to-hand action and ditching his gun for his more trustworthy melee weapons instead.

Through the windows of the car, you could just make out movement of the gunman. You crawled over to the other side of the car, tracking the feet and legs you could see beneath the vehicles. You reloaded your pistol, smacking the magazine into place, then pressing the hammer down.

Shots suddenly rained down on you, and you pressed yourself further to the ground.

"Come on, come on," you urged, "reload already."

And when you heard that beautiful sound of silence, you yanked yourself to your feet, pointed the barrel through the window, and shot. You heard the curse, and it was enough for you to whip over the back of the car and smack the butt of your gun into their head. The gunman went crashing to the concrete; you tucked your pistol away and picked up the automatic.

The heft of the gun was an old friend—it sank over you in cold realization… how much damage you could do with this.

With pursed lips, you emptied out the gun and kicked it under the car.

You rushed to line up a shot with your pistol to help Sunwoo who was juggling a fight against two others.

He didn't need that much help, but there was the glint of a knife, and you didn't even blink. The bullet buried itself in one of their shoulders, and Sunwoo elbowed him off his back, shoving the other's face into the car in front of him. He yanked his opponent's hair back and smashed their head into the metal again.

"You got it?" You asked him, sliding over the hoods of cars to get back.

He knew what you meant. Blood ran down his nose and there was a purplish cut on his lip. Sweat dripped down the side of his face as he dumped the now unconscious foe to the concrete. "Yeah, it went flying somewhere over there," he inclined his head down a row of cars, and you gave a nod.

The two of you jogged over in the direction Sunwoo asserted and began looking for the discarded drive.

You straightened after ducking beneath a car, but your eyes caught a flash of someone—your instincts lurched.

"Fuck, Sunwoo—!" You had the time to shove him out of the way as the rounds went flying past your heads and you tackled him.

Something pierced into the skin of your shoulder though, and you felt the bullet rip through your clothes and flay your skin as it passed. Your hand slapped over your arm as you fellz Sunwoo's stabilizing you. "Shit, Ln," he said, grasping your good side.

"It's the guy from earlier," you groaned, feeling the blood begin to pool.

"Huh? What guy—"

"The one I didn't take the gun from in the hall." The regret poured into you as swiftly as your blood flowed out of you. "I'll cover you—just find the damn thing."

He sent you a look, but nodded. "Okay."

You were lucky you hadn't been nicked in your good arm, you thought, as you clambered to your knees and peered over the edge of the car.

There he was, the man you'd smashed over the head with a glass. His forehead was bleeding profusely, but he still stumbled toward you, cocking his gun and firing. You ducked, crouching around the car to get to the other side. Mind racing for strategies, you thought you could easily take him down one limb at a time like the others.

All thoughts went flying out the window though when the man started barreling toward you, teeth bared, like a bull seeing red. You yelped as a bullet pelted the ground an inch from your hand. You ducked behind the car, ignoring the pain in your shoulder to palm your gun and aim.

You heard it hit its target.

But he just kept running.

"Are you serious?" You cursed, then regretting it immediately when he threw himself across the hood of the car to knock you down.

You cried out as your head hit the car behind you, the pain stabbing white in your vision. Adrenaline and fear pumped through you as you fought to keep his hands away from your neck. You even found where your bullet had lodged itself and pressed on it.

He grunted at the feeling, nearly twisting your arm off for that. You were trying, trying, trying.

His gun was gone; it didn't matter. You weren't good at hand to hand.

And your grip on his thick fucking wrists slipped. His hands were around your throat. You couldn't breathe—you thrashed around, smashed your gun against his face. He swept your efforts away, determination pressing his thumbs into the hollow—

BANG!

You saw the life drain out of his eyes. He fell over you, blood and a smoking gun sandwiched between your bodies.

Oxygen rushed into your lungs and you coughed. The realization hit you, a hammer striking against the percussion cap.

You just killed this man. You just shot him, point blank.

Oh god—you heaved his limp body off you, his blood staining your clothing, and you felt like Lady Macbeth, scrambling over blood that would not wash away.

"Yn!" Sunwoo's voice.

You wrestled to your hands and knees. "It's not my blood," you coughed, dry gagging at the sight of the pale body, rigid from rigor mortis.

Your mind was everywhere. Another one dead. What if he had a family? What if what if what if—?

"Ln, come on, you're alive. You can do it."

You were on your feet. There was a ringing in your ears from when your head smashed against the car.

Sunwoo ran over to you and threw your good arm over his shoulder to get you to the car he had broken into. "There you go. Hey, I got the drive. How 'bout that?" He wiggled a slim, black tab—the thing that had caused all of tonight's trouble.

You shook out the orbs dancing in your vision. How hard had your head been struck? "It still feels too easy."

"Don't say that," he groaned. "I just wanna get out of this place."

You really shouldn't have spoken so soon.

You heard the shot before you felt it; then the next one, then the next.

Sunwoo twisted around to shoot three rounds himself, silencing one of the people who had gotten the strength to pull himself up for one last try.

All breath left your throat as your hand reached for your lower abdomen. One of the bullets had gone through, piercing the side of your stomach. It had gone all the way through, back to front, the bullet lodged in the metal of the car in front of you.

You couldn't even see which blood stain was yours.

"Nonononono," Sunwoo chanted as your knees buckled and you started slipping to the ground. "Yn—Yn, stay with me," he urged, laying you gently on the ground.

The pain twisted itself until your eyes watered. You thought you tasted blood in your mouth. "Should've shot them dead like you said," you managed to say.

Sunwoo leaned over you, panic wide in his dark eyes as he held your face between his palms. "Yn, honey, you need to stay with me." He pressed his hands over the wounds opening and you screamed, the sound grating against his ears. He knew it hurt—god, he knew, but he needed to stop the bleeding somehow. Oh fuck.

"I'm sorry I screwed up so many times," you grunted to him. You tasted the iron coating your throat and suppressed the urge to cough it all out. You could barely think with the fucking hole in your stomach, but all you knew was that if he wasn't quick, the shot could be fatal.

"I'm gonna get you out of here." You could hear the resolve in his voice, but the shaky undertone, too. You'd never heard his voice shake before. "Don't apologize." Not until I get you out alive.

He scooped you up and you screwed your face up in agony. Your chest rose and fell rapidly, your teeth clamping down on your tongue to muffle the screams. There was blood in your mouth.

It hurt. Fucking hell, it hurt.

He went through the motions of wrestling the car door open, laying you in the passenger seat, trying to find something to staunch the bleeding on both sides.

The whole time, you kept your eyes on his face, trying to ingrain his features in your memory. The blood from his nose had partly dried, but the cut on his lips made his bottom one even poutier.

You'd never seen him so worried, or scared, with the crease between his brows. You wanted to reach up and rub it away.

"Hey," you rasped, catching his wild eyes. "Stop fussing over me and drive."

He clicked his tongue, eyes darting between your face and the knot he was tying with the jacket he found in the backseat. "Yah," he said half-heartedly, "don't tell me what to do."

He passed you another glance before shutting your door and running for the driver's seat.

As soon as Sunwoo collapsed into his side of the car, the elevator, from which you'd come, slid open. A flood of guards in armor and equipped with automatic weapons flooded out in a tidal wave. You both swore a colorful line of words.

"Drive, drive, drive—!" You urged, breaking out into coughs, then doubling over when the motion only intensified the bullet wound.

"What do you think I'm doing, woman!" He yelled and the tires squealed as he pulled out of the parking spot to make a mad dash for the exit.

Bullets fired at the car, lodging themselves in the metal and cracking the back windshield. You heard the glass shatter, and you reached for your gun to try and knock some of them off.

Sunwoo shoved your hand down. "Oh, no you don't. Save your energy, hot stuff."

It wasn't until he had navigated you both away safely from harm's way that you really let everything soak into your head. Your blood marinated the car seat beneath you, and you could feel your energy being siphoned toward the gaping hole in your stomach. Reality dawned on you faster and faster.

Did you fear death?

The streets were empty; it was still raining. You were right about the hot rain—it made the blood scent bolder.

Sunwoo made a turn onto a street, and another, to take any lingering tails off.

"I killed someone tonight," you voiced out into the quiet car amongst the humdrum of rain. It drizzled in through the shattered back windshield and onto the backseat.

"It's okay, Yn," he said quietly. "You had to."

You paused, swallowing. You inhaled sharply and you swore you were starting to get used to the throbbing all over your body. "You… you were right."

"You don't have to do that. Save your en—"

"No," you said with more force. His mouth snapped shut. "I just—" your eyes drifted closed for a moment, "—I just wanted to get this off my chest."

When he remained quiet to give you the space to speak, you told him, "What you said in the elevator was right… I uhm, I feel like a coward when I can't stomach a headshot anymore. I just… Sunwoo, I hate who, or what, I become when I have a gun in my hands."

You felt him glance over at you. "You're not a monster, if you think that's what you are," he murmured. You felt his hand cover yours where you were holding your injury.

"I've hurt a lot of people," you admitted, eyes staring out the front windshield. "The organization told me to pull the trigger, and I did. Even in the academy, I never felt good enough unless I was hitting a target." It had become a momentary triumph only, until every hit made you sink deeper and deeper into guilt. You had been tearing yourself apart at the seams, and you could remember those moments, seeing the fallen with people who cared about them rushing to their side.

The twisting in your stomach suddenly didn't feel like it was from the gunshot.

"Your record—"

"My record is doctored," you said blankly. "They wiped it when I gave up being a sniper."

He meditated on that for a moment, his teeth biting down on his bottom lip. He winced when he was reminded of the injury there. "I know that I was and have been—not the greatest toward you—and... I'm sorry. I think some part of me just thought it would catch your attention—which is no excuse—but…" His finger tapped on the steering wheel in time with his blinker. "I always thought that you would go far regardless. I thought you'd be recruited as a sniper for the high profile shit."

A smile curled at the corner of your lips. "Yeah?"

He nodded, his own lips pressed together. "Yeah. The best, y'know? And I thought… at least as a sniper, you won't be in the line of fire."

Your chest throbbed. "I still got shot, too, though."

"Yeah, but…" He turned into a barren residential street, no doubt toward the safe house nearby. "They wouldn't be shooting at you, I guess. I dunno. That's what I was telling myself, anyway."

You shifted your head slightly to peer over at him. There was a sincerity to his words that you had almost never remembered hearing out of his mouth. You believed him—you believed that he cared. "Thinking about me in your free time, Kim?"

"You wish," he joked, but it was a weaker comeback.

The house he pulled up to was at the end of a cul-de-sac. It was the standard, cookie cutter suburban house, with its front lawn trimmed and windows dark and lifeless. Sunwoo carefully drove the car into the empty garage for privacy, then ran over to your side to help you out.

You could feel yourself falling out of consciousness with all the blood loss.

Your head was drooping as he picked you up in his arms again. The crease between his brows made a reappearance and with your last bit of strength, you reached up to gently rub it away with your thumb. "Hey… I'm gonna be okay," you whispered to him in the dark and quiet of the garage.

He swallowed, peering down at you. "You better be," he said. "Who's gonna have my back then?"

You smiled since you couldn't laugh. Maybe the blood loss was making you loopy (probably), but you swore he smiled just a teensy bit.

He managed to get you on the couch, and you whimpered at the surface beneath you. He disappeared for a moment, but when he returned, it was with a first aid kit and a phone. "I called headquarters; they'll be here in five," he murmured, kneeling next to you and beginning to peel off the blood coated fabrics.

You hissed, body squirming with whatever energy you had left. "I can't believe I'm still alive."

He huffed and gently applied pressure to the wound with gauze. "The only one who gets to kill you is me. Remember that."

"Yeah, yeah," you panted. "Sew me up or something."

"It's gonna hurt. Wanna hold my hand?"

Your eyes met his. "You're ridiculous." But somehow, he managed to make your heart lurch. Even bleeding out and halfway dead, he could make your heart rate spike.

He gave a shrug as he threaded the needle and you held onto the gauze for the moment. "You know what they say…" his voice softened when you both heard a familiar voice announcing his presence from the front door—Changmin. Backup was here. "Enemies make the best lovers, do they not?"

"Did it take me almost dying for you to think of that one?"

Changmin rushed in with a full kit in his hands and practically shoved Sunwoo out of the way. You bit on your tongue as the newcomer inspected your wound.

Sunwoo leaned over the edge of the couch and grappled at your hand, his other brushing the sweaty hair out of your face. "We're not done with this conversation, okay? You better not die on me."

You squeezed his hand when Changmin began stitching you up. "Wouldn't dream of it."

tbz m.list

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @bless-311 @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @justalildumpling @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @outrologist @vernonburger @maessseongs @kflixnet @ericlvr

[pogueswrld]

nsfw | peter parker 🦢

this is inspired by this (nsfw twt link!! why was that so embarrassing to admit omg) and this is a hc that peter has hyperspermia 🤞

after being bitten by that spider, everything was suddenly so much more than how it was before for peter. he was a teenager going through puberty, so everything was already heightened for him, but with the toxins of the spiders running through his veins and mixing in with his dna... peter didn't stand a chance.

before the spider, peter remembers distinctively how his body reacted to the random bursts of hormones every other day- he'd sweat, lock himself in the bathroom all day, and take multiple cold showers because he read somewhere that they could help. it worked, most of the time. but now as an adult with unfiltered stamina and hyper-everything, none of those old methods work anymore.

he simply could not function properly once there was a twitch from his cock. it's like it had a mind of its own, coming alive at the most random of times, and refusing to leave until he rubs one out wherever he was.

the first time it happened was after a robbery he stopped. as the rush of adrenaline and excitement slowly died down, he began to realize the strain of his cock against the latex fabric of his suit. he'd meant to adjust himself, try to push it down and away, thinking if he ignored it then it'll disappear, but the moment his hand made contact with the fabric and pulled it just a tiny bit around, a whimper escaped his lips. he tried again, this time cupping his member, and a shiver twiddled up his spine.

he simply couldn't do anything without whining at the friction he received, he felt somewhat pathetic.

and that wasn't the worst part. personally, peter thinks the worst part about coming to age with the toxins of a spider that advanced every part of him to nearly unrealistic standards, is how much bodily fluids he is able to exceed. he cannot ignore an erection as the simplest of movements will send a wave of pleasure through him, and he can't hold down on his noises any better than biting back his snarky remarks while fighting criminals on the daily, so he's out to exclude himself somewhere private. if he did manage to pull out his cock, the amount of precum dripping from his slit and down either his suit or straight to the ground was unholy, and it would never stop until he managed to push himself to the brink of an orgasm.

and if he did manage to reach his high, there was no stopping the flow of ropes of cum ejecting from him, and there was no possible way for him to keep quiet. his whines, grunts, groans, and moans would echo throughout the space he was currently occupying, and a puddle of his seed would have painted either the wall or the ground of the area.

he was always red in the cheeks by the end of each session, but he can't help it, everything about him has just grown to an abnormally hyper level and there was nothing he can do about it.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: I do not know!

Debut: Sonic Adventure

I just learned about this thing! It’s so cool! I want to show you it!

This is clearly a prisoner, and most likely a ghost. So I will call it Prisoner Ghost because I can’t think of anything better at the moment. But WOW, what a ghost! This is honestly an incredible design! It evokes the stripes of a cartoonish prison suit, except the stripes are disconnected, and are the closest thing to a body this has! It is, however, wearing solid shoes.

And look at those eyes! This is no Eyes-In-A-Void Face, but something like this is arguably even cooler! Just eyes, no surface to house them! Even more unrealistic a beauty standard!

These poor souls are doomed to dance in their cells for eternity and NO, they are not flossing! Their arms are exclusively in front of their torsos at all times. Maybe they are from a dystopia where those who cannot floss are imprisoned, and forced to spend their afterlives embarrassing themselves, repeating the same incorrect dance forever... horrible!

For such a wicked design, these guys are not important whatsoever! They are only present in one small portion of the Red Mountain stage, and I’m gonna let you in on a little something about the “Sonic” character. He is quick! Not only are these ghosts dead and imprisoned, but they are somewhat easy to not even notice while running through the stage. Poor things!

With all the fire and death in this place, and especially the robot monkeys that throw bombs, this place is basically the for real Hell. Maybe these funky dancing skull graves are where the bodies of our beloved ghosts are buried? We really know next to nothing about them! If they’re prisoners in HELL, of all places, maybe they are really some supremely Bad Guys... but also, look at their faceless faces and tell me they are not at the same time delightful!

I hope I turn into one of these when I die! I hope I won’t be an imprisoned ghost though. I will just request to be buried in a ridiculous striped outfit if that’s what it takes!

This would have been a good thing to post around Halloween, huh? Oh well! You get it now! Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Thank you to Sonic the Hedgeblog for being the source of the gifs used! Also shout out to Keith Stack for being the reason I found out about these in the first place!

[piedaterreincensorshipville]

IMO the way Darth Vader's suit has been treated in modern Star Wars works, and especially in fandom, exposes a pretty significant generational difference in expectations of medical care between modern writers and people from George Lucas' generation.

Lucas described Vader as being in "a walking iron lung". That simile is no accident.

Before the development of the polio vaccine in the 1950s, iron lungs - monstrous tanks enclosing the whole body below head level, which left their users lying flat on their backs and mostly immobilized - were the only means of keeping people alive if polio paralyzed their lungs. Polio was absolutely terrifying, and Lucas grew up in the 1940s and 50s, so he'd have known how feared it was. But until Jonas Salk developed the vaccine, there was no alternative to the iron lung, aside from never catching polio in the first place.

Likewise, although there was medical treatment for burns including the use of skin grafts, extensive burns were very often a death sentence. But since the 1960s, burn treatment has come a long way, allowing patients to survive injuries that at the time of World War II would have been fatal. Silver sulfadiazine was developed in the 1960s as a topical cream used to prevent infection, which revolutionized the survivability of burn injuries. According to this article, in the 1950s, being burned over 50% of the body meant at least a 50% chance of death; by the 1990s, the equivalent burn level for the same odds was 80%.

Vader's suit was conceived with these older standards of medicine in mind: he survived full-body immolation in a way that should by all rights have killed him, and would have, had he not been put in a life-support suit. There was no alternative. His options were the suit or death. 

But these days, medical science has advanced so much that such a drastic intervention being Vader's only option for survival seems unrealistic. Few people remember the days before the polio vaccine or silver sulfadiazine. Iron lungs are no longer even manufactured. So the idea that the best medicine the GFFA can come up with isn't up to 21st century medical levels seems alien to a lot of younger writers. (Especially since the GFFA also has things like seamless prosthetic limbs.)

As a result, there's a perceived need for there to be some explanation for why Vader's suit isn't up to modern standards of care. Which is why we now get the concept of Palpatine deliberately making Vader's suit a torture device, designed to leave him permanently in pain in order to fuel his anger and rage, as well as keeping him from challenging his master. Fandom in particular has taken this idea and run with it, but it also crept into things like the novelization of ROTS, as well as encyclopedia-format "official" SW works coming after that film.

I might also note that Vader being immolated was part of his backstory well before Vader and Anakin were combined into one character. In Lucas' interview in the August 25, 1977, issue of Rolling Stone, he mentions the lava duel but describes it as involving three characters, Vader, Luke's father, and Kenobi. Nonetheless, according to the 1997 Annotated Screenplays book, this didn't stop him from momentarily considering an alternative idea in his second draft of ESB from April 1978 (the same one that more lastingly combined Vader and Anakin), where he mooted the idea that Obi-Wan instead pushed Vader into a nuclear reactor.

[pollenallergie]

i hate you plastic surgeons on social media who speculate about what work celebrities and influencers have had done. i hate you celebrities and influencers who pump their faces and bodies with fillers and/or get surgery after surgery, then proceed to lie about it all for years, crediting some bullshit weight loss tea or dumb workout routine or ‘holy grail’ beauty product. i hate you fashion brands who make their clothes to suit a very specific body type that only a small percent of people have and only carry a small range of sizes bc, fuck it, they feel like it.

i hate you diet companies for pushing unrealistic standards, promising unrealistic results, targeting mostly young women and girls, and just straight up lying to people in much of your advertising. i hate you social media (especially fucking instagram) for pushing a bullshit, unrealistic beauty standard and telling us that we all have to meet it or else we’re ugly and unlovable. i hate you “legging legs” and “body by ozempic” and “buccal fat removal” and “bbl body” and “heroin chic,” i hate you body type trends.

i hate you people who feel the fucking need to incessantly comment on the foods people eat and their body size and tell them that “that’s so unhealthy” as if they don’t already fucking know that!! just let them fucking enjoy their goddamn meal and feel comfortable in their own skin!!! it’s not that fucking hard!!! i hate you skincare companies that market your anti-aging products to teenage girls and women in their twenties. i hate you doctors who refuse to take women, trans people, people of color, fat people, and those who belong to two or more of those identities seriously when they come to you with their health issues.

i hate you politicians for turning something as simple as preferred pronouns into ammunition for your bullshit ideological warfare that you use to distract from the fact that many of your constituents can’t even afford to live and that, currently, you are working as hard as you possibly can to strip our rights away and set us back decades upon decades. i hate you news stations who would rather focus on celebrities and their lavish fashion and their lavish events and their lavish PR stunts than the genocides and geopolitical conflicts in Palestine, Sudan, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Artsakh, etc.

[the-girl-from-another-time]

Stop body-shaming David Corenswet.

Everyone who’s complaining that he‘ll never gain as much muscle as Henry Cavill needs to shut up. We all know superhero movies in the past decade have created unhealthy expectations for male bodies. We’ve all heard about the Cavill/Hemsworth/Evans crew dehydrating to the point of hospitalization for shirtless scenes. As a fan community, we need to be discouraging beauty standards that cause harm, not pressuring young actors to emulate them.

David Corenswet is gorgeous and talented. His physique isn’t Cavill’s, but he’s not exactly unattractive (ahem). Stop griping about his body.

More than anything, his earnest charm, charisma, versatility, and even demeanor and mannerisms remind me of Christopher Reeve (who, as many fake geek boys have apparently forgotten, was skinnier then Corenswet when he was cast as Superman). He’s a perfect choice for the role in every way.

By the way, here’s what Christopher Reeve’s physique looked like. He bulked up, but he wasn’t unrealistically huge or chiseled.

Also? Henry Cavill is a bodybuilder — it’s one of his personal hobbies. Most guys in Hollywood aren’t on that level, and that’s okay. That doesn’t mean they (and their different body types) aren’t strong or gorgeous or talented or suited for superhero roles.

Neither a character’s worth nor an actor’s talent is based on how big their muscles are, even for superheroes. Plus it’s mean to body shame people. Be nice. Seriously.

[cdsmusicblog]

The expectations of female pop singers

Throughout their careers, female pop artists are faced with gender inequalities and unrealistic expectations. They are always criticized on their appearance, on the way they act and are pressured to conform to strict gender stereotypes which overshadow their talent and musical abilities. Female pop stars are often expected to balance authenticity and marketability, limiting their artistic expression while their male peers are allowed much more creative freedom. Singers such as Prince, David Bowie or Elton John are all famous for the way they played with gender roles and sexuality and how they broke stereotypes while women in the industry are frowned upon if they are too masculine or too feminine, too sexual or not enough etc… Madonna’s Woman of The Year speech she gave in 2016 at the Billboard Music Awards, in which she talks about the sexism, misogyny and abuse she endured, illustrates this issue perfectly: “My real muse was David Bowie. He embodied male and female spirit and that suited me just fine. He made me think there were no rules. But I was wrong. There are no rules if you’re a boy. If you’re a girl, you have to play the game. What is that game? You are allowed to be pretty and cute and sexy. But don’t act too smart. Don’t have an opinion that is out of line with the status quo.”

An other example of double standards in the popular music industry is how much backlash Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B’s song “WAP” received when it came out in 2020 because the lyrics and music video were too sexual while male rappers have been getting away with way worse and have never been criticized for talking about sex in their songs.

I’m bringing this issue up today because for weeks now, since the electoral campaigns for the 2024 American presidential elections started, I have seen so many female pop singers being judged on their stance or lack of stance regarding political affairs. Between Charli XCX’s Brat Summer supporting Kamala Harris, Taylor Swift’s endorsement of the candidates of the Democratic Party or the need for Chappell Roan’s opinion on quite literally everything, you’d believe they all changed vocation to become politicians.

I understand why some people may think that popular music artists with big platforms should talk about important issues but why are women the only ones being pressured into it? Why aren’t big male artists like Justin Bieber or Shawn Mendes asked for their political stance nearly as much? I think we all know why but I believe it is important to bring up this topic and not sweep it under the rug because “it is what it is”.

[emptyheadgamer]

everybody upset about the full body deodorant thing as an unrealistic beauty standard for women, and rightly so, but honestly i think they just missed which demographic to chase. you know who would love full body deodorant? Cops, security guards, soldiers, and anyone else who has to wear a non breathable bullet resistant vest for work. Doesnt matter what environment or how heavy or light the vest/carrier is, if you gotta move around one for any length of time it absolutely ends up soaked in sweat in no time just cause they have 0 breathability. I imagine people in other non breathable ppe like fire suits would also appreciate it.

Put it in some camo packaging and market it as the strongest odor fighter for the toughest situations in some ridiculous commercial with fire and explosions everywhere, and quit with the unreasonable beauty standards nonsense.

[thewhumpcaretaker]

⚜ 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕎𝕙𝕠 ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕃𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝔽𝕠𝕣 - ℂ𝕙. 𝕏𝕀𝕍: 𝔽𝕠𝕣𝕔𝕖𝕕 ℂ𝕙𝕠𝕚𝕔𝕖𝕤 ⚜

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ ✧.*★ Thank you to @kavalyera for the beta read!

Summary: After realizing that Chidi genuinely loves him, Vincent can't resist him anymore.

TW: brief mention of suicidal ideation, brief mention of drug use, rampant codependency, unrealistic anal sex

Blue sky and yellowing brickwork flooded through each other in the motions of the Tiber, dancing in repetition. The mind could lose itself in their merciful meditation, not at all the way it might be lost in intoxication, but rather with a sobering effect. With the temptation towards reflection. There was Vincent’s reflection again, forming and reforming, just as it had done in the fountain in France, only now it was all the more broken by this faster current with its deeper disturbances. Chidi’s words played in his head again: “Realmente lo amo, Mo. No me iré hasta que él también esté libre. [I really love him, Mo. I won’t leave until he’s free too.]” He’s really staying. I’ve been such a fool.

Vincent could hear the low chatter of two Myrmidons who had followed him out the door and now hovered near the food carts on the bank, concerned but not concerned enough to approach, their words indistinguishable at such a distance. They clearly were debating what to do - whether to call him a full security detail as would be standard for an outing, or to leave him alone with his thoughts. He had not bothered to dismiss them. Let them protect him. Best not to worry Chidi any more today. Such a fool, he repeated internally, a hand covering his face for a moment.

When he straightened up again, there was Chidi himself, approaching with confident strides, that grey suit as knightly as a suit of armor. Turning the corner, passing the food cart and catching sight of him on the bridge. Coming for him, to check on him, to talk about what had happened. Vincent’s heart contorted against the double bind of shame and nervous exhilaration. He straightened his jacket. Chidi exchanged a brief word with one of the Myrmidons, patted his shoulder in thanks, and they dispersed, leaving their leader to meet with Vincent unwatched.

Tentatively, Vincent put out a hand to him. “Mon chevalier, viens à mon secours. [My knight, come to rescue me.]”

Chidi bowed deeply and kissed it. “Mon roi a-t-il besoin d'être secouru ? [Does my king need rescuing?]”

He turned from that overwhelmingly gallant picture, back towards the water, where Chidi’s broken reflection now joined his own. “Pour une fois, non. Je suis désolé d’être à court, mais je ne me sens pas… destructeur. Juste… ah… je prends un moment. [For once, no. I’m sorry for running out, but I’m not…feeling destructive. Just…ah…taking a moment.]”

“Je suis plus que ravi, monsieur. [I’m beyond glad, sir.]” Chidi’s thumb moved over his knuckles and something warm gushed out of his heart in response. “Alors, vous nous avez entendus ? Combien? [Did you overhear us, then? How much?]”

“Assez pour savoir que je t'ai fait du tort. [Enough to know I’ve wronged you.]” It was blurted out before he could stop himself, staring desperately up at Chidi again. “Pourquoi diriez-vous tant de choses gentilles ? Pourquoi resterais-tu avec moi ? [Why would you say so many kind things? Why would you stay with me?]”

“Je te l'ai dit, Vincent. Je t'aime. [I told you, Vincent. I love you.]”

“Pourquoi? [Why?]” He’d never asked any of his conquests why they wanted him, or thought they loved him. Nothing could be more obvious – he was powerful and rich and famous and handsome and skilled at lovemaking, and they were a lot of shallow sycophants. Simple enough. But someone who had seen the reality of him? Someone competent and confident and of good taste? Someone who he’d hurt and pushed away in such weak, foolish, irrational ways? That didn’t make any sense.

“Parce que je n’y peux rien ! Parce que dès la première fois que je t'ai vu, j'ai été attiré par toi. Pas à votre force mais… à vos désirs, à votre incroyable désir. Personne d'autre ne semblait le remarquer, mais cela m'a captivé d'apercevoir de petits aperçus de toi, volontaire et têtu et doux et blessé et triomphant face à tout ce qui essayait de t'étouffer dans un stoïcisme muet. Ça m'a rendu fou de vouloir te protéger. Je n'avais réalisé que récemment à quel point tu as absorbé chacune de mes pensées pendant trois années consécutives, rêvant de te rendre heureux, me tourmentant pour chaque tort que tu as subi, attendant le jour où je pourrais servir d'instrument à ton moi le plus vicieux et le plus tendre- expressions pareilles. J’aime la soumission, la douleur, l’inquiétude – Vincent, c’est ce que je suis censé être : le tien. Cela me ravit de pouvoir ressentir une telle sympathie pour mon propre maître. Que n’importe qui puisse me posséder si complètement. Je suis captif de moi-même quand je suis avec toi, parce que je me sens comme une partie de toi. Ta douleur m'enrage, ta joie m'enivre, tu es moi-même. Je t'aime. Je ne pourrais pas arrêter de t’aimer si je le voulais, et je ne veux pas. La force de ton besoin m’oblige, et je m’abandonne à cette contrainte. Je suis forcé et je choisis. A toi et à toi seul, je décide de plier le genou. Il ne pouvait en être autrement. [Because I can’t help it! Because from the first time I saw you, I was drawn to you. Not to your strength but…to your desires, to your incredible want. No one else seemed to notice it, but it captivated me to catch little glimpses of you, willful and stubborn and sweet and hurt and triumphant in the face of everything trying to stifle you into mute stoicism. It drove me crazy, wanting to protect you. I didn’t realize until recently how you consumed my every thought for three straight years, daydreaming of making you happy, tormenting myself over every wrong you suffered, waiting for the day I could serve as the instrument of your most vicious and tender self-expressions alike. I like the submission, the pain, the worry – Vincent, this is what I’m meant to be: yours. It thrills me, that I could feel such sympathy for my own master. That anyone could possess me so completely. I’m captive to my own self when I’m with you, because I feel like a part of you. Your pain enrages me, your joy intoxicates me, you are myself. I love you. I couldn’t stop loving you if I wanted to, and I don’t want to. The force of your need compels me, and I surrender to that compulsion. I am forced, and I choose. To you and you alone, I decide to bend the knee. It could not be any other way.]”

“Pendant… aussi longtemps ? Tu as « rêviez de me rendre heureux » ? [For…for that long? You ��daydreamed about making me happy’?]” Everything was coming out small and choked and deliriously happy. “Je ne… je ne peux pas… [I don’t…I can’t…]” But it was true: he couldn’t. Couldn’t resist any longer. The words tore something from his body, tore out any possibility of disbelief, of protective denial. And with it, an answering confession. “Tu gagnes, salaud : je t'aime. Je t'aime. Je t'aime. [You win, you bastard: I love you. I love you. I love you.]” How could I not? And how could I not want to? I am forced, and I choose.

He crashed into Chidi – open mouthed, teeth colliding, fists dragging on fabric to the point of strangulation. An open expression of want. In the water below, their images churned together in that broken self-dissolution which allows for a total merging. It was a two-headed creature that stumbled home, hand in inextricable hand, half angel and half god, throbbing on both sides with a lust fueled entirely by submissive awe.

Was there a comedown, from his early morning drug binge? If so, Vincent never felt it. He felt his cock trying to escape the center fold of his slacks just to stand a few inches closer to Chidi’s searing flesh. They didn’t make it upstairs. Chidi dragged them into his own, humbler bedroom, suffused with the scent of his body. A diary still lay on the nightstand from Chidi’s early morning hours of brooding over his beloved Marquis and Vincent felt a horrible, wonderful pang at the thought of him alone with his thoughts down here. He made a whimpering, distraught noise and started devouring Chidi’s mouth again. “Je suis désolé [I’m sorry],” he whispered between kisses. “Je t'aime. Je suis désolé. [I love you. I’m sorry.]” His face was wet, he realized.

Chidi snarled against his lips and pushed him backward onto the bed, straddling him. “Tu veux me rattraper ? Alors laisse-moi te réconforter maintenant comme je le voulais hier soir. [You want to make it up to me? Then let me comfort you now like I wanted to last night.]” Vincent let himself go limp, eyes closing into a moan. Chidi’s hand was braced against the pit of his neck, holding him securely down, and it felt like the only heat in the world.

“N'ose pas faire autrement. J'ai besoin de toi. [Don’t you dare do otherwise. I need you.]” God…was he allowed to say such things now? It felt so good to say them.

“Je ne pouvais pas. Vous êtes irrésistible. Je t'aime mieux comme ça que tous réunis. [I couldn’t. You’re irresistible. I like you better like this, than all put together.]”

Fire flared up fiercely in his cheeks. He remembered his appearance – makeup stained with tear tracks, hair mussed, total discomposure ruining the charm of his nicest suit. “Quelle pagaille? [What, a mess?]”

“Oui. Mon désordre parfait. [Yes. My perfect mess.]” As proof, he straightened up and parted his fly, stroking himself to Vincent’s pornographic dishevelment. His pretty brown eyes darkened with want. “Ce matin, quand j'ai vu à quel point tu avais l'air intouchable, ça m'a fait peur, car tout ce que je veux, c'est te toucher. Votre corps, votre vie, votre esprit. Jusqu'à ce que tu te sentes bien. [This morning, when I saw how untouchable you looked, it scared me, because all I want is to touch you. Your body, your life, your mind. Until you feel good.]”

Affection overwhelmed the Marquis and he sat up to kiss the tip, as if in pity for its reddened, aching longing. When had he ever liked someone so much or so innocently? So this was the gentle fervor of love. Chidi’s gasp rewarded him, but when he slipped the full head into his mouth, Chidi pushed him back down.

“Non, je te réconforte, tu te souviens ? Tu me dois la chance d'être gentil avec toi. Bande. [No. I am comforting you, remember? You owe me the chance to be good to you. Strip.]” Oh god. Commanding Chidi, powerful Chidi. Commanding him to be well, to be comforted. Gentle all the while, still gentle enough to make him want to relent. This was a side of him Vincent had never seen, and it brought out a correspondingly unfamiliar side of himself. He trembled with grateful desire. His hands caught at his many buttons, fumbling in his rush to do justice to this newfound connection. And there was Chidi’s touch on his wrist, steadying him. “Prends ton temps, mon amour. [Take your time, my love.]” But whether it made concentration easier or harder to feel Chidi’s lips brushing softly against the crown of his head, he couldn’t say. Everything was turning frail and soft.

Chidi supported that softness, with his pillows under Vincent’s pelvis. With his arms around Vincent’s torso from behind, cuddling him into his chest. With the steady, pounding hardness driving relentlessly into him, jolting sobs of pleasure-pain out of him. With gentle whispers that Vincent could answer only by nodding and crying harder. “Êtes-vous d'accord? Est-ce comme ça que tu le veux ? [Are you okay? Is this how you want it?]” Yes. You have no idea what this bliss is like.

And he couldn’t not be happy. Couldn’t not kiss at Chidi’s fingers or angle upward into his thrusts, wanting to be joined deeper, even more forcefully. Couldn’t not tighten around Chidi’s solid length in fluttering ecstasy. Until he lost all control once and for all and couldn’t not spill out across the bedsheets with all the force of the Tiber river. And he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Chidi wrapped around him as they rolled over sideways, equally spent. “Ai-je réussi à vous réconforter ? [Did I succeed in comforting you?]”

“Oui. Dieu oui. Je ne peux pas dire si mon visage me fait plus mal à cause du sourire, ou si mes fesses sont à cause de... [Yes. God yes. I can’t tell whether my face hurts more from smiling, or my ass from – ]”

“Très bien alors. Votre dette est payée. Je vous pardonne. [Very good then. Your debt is paid. I forgive you.]”

“Hmmm. Je devrais te repousser plus souvent, si telle est la punition. [Hmmm. I should push you away more often, if this is the punishment.]”

“Seulement si j'arrive à te ramener vers moi comme ça. [Only if I get to pull you back to me like this.]” He rolled Vincent closer, showering his neck with kisses until he squirmed against the delicious sensation. “Comment aimerais-tu qu'à chaque fois tu sois tiré du gouffre? [How would you like that, to be pulled back from the brink every time?]”

“Mmm… ce serait… sympa. Mais peut-être pas aussi agréable que de se tenir ainsi pour toujours. [Mmm…it would be…nice. But maybe not as nice as just holding each other this way forever.]” Since when did I say such sappy things? But Chidi nuzzled against him so affectionately that it seemed alright. No matter what he said or did, Chidi would turn it from a disaster into peace. Safety and gratitude flooded through him.

“Tu sais, en termes de travail et de famille, tout va mal pour moi. J’ai tellement perdu en si peu de temps. Mais je pense… de toute façon, je suis plus heureux qu’il y a quelques mois. Je découvre des choses qui comptent pour moi et je me sens libre pour la première fois. [You know, in terms of business and family, everything is going wrong for me. I’ve lost so much in such a short period. But I think…I’m happier than I was a few months ago anyway. I’m finding things that matter to me and feeling free for the first time.]” He stopped, bliss giving way to a bitter laugh. “Et maintenant que j'ai une raison de vivre dans ma vie, je pourrais vraiment être tué. N'est-ce pas ironique ? Si je n’ai pas les Myrmidons, le siège Gramont pourrait s’effondrer. Et puis… [And now that I have something in my life to live for, I could really be killed. Isn’t it ironic? If I don’t have the Myrmidons, the Gramont seat could collapse. And then…]”

“Certains d'entre nous vous resteraient fidèles, monsieur. Je voudrais. [Some of us would remain loyal to you, sir. I would.]”

“Mais tu n'as pas le choix, tu m'aimes, tu te souviens ? [But you have no choice, you love me, remember?]” he teased. “Les autres – [The others - ]”

But it was at that moment that an idea began to take shape. “L’illusion du choix… Chidi, aujourd’hui, tu m’as appris quelque chose d’une grande importance politique. Nous sommes de tels génies. Debout, je dois rédiger un discours. [The illusion of choice…Chidi, today, you’ve taught me something of great political import. We are such geniuses. Up, I need to draft a speech.]” How many ways could one man save his life?

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