#AUGH IM SO DONE ALREADY

[thatoneguyiguess]

I can't wait until winter break

I can't wait until winter break

I can't wait until winter break

I can't wait until winter break

I can't wait until winter break

I can't wait until winter break

I can't wait until winter break

I can't wait until winter break

[seakrisp]

" Said she knows she'll live through it

to get to this moment "

" I will do anything just for you.

Whatever she wants, whatever you want,

I will do anything. I will do anything. "

lyrics from Graceland too by Phoebe bridgers

[despite-everything]

i really pared-down my record collection since i'm moving cross-country, but i'm so emotional about it. i'm moving to new york, so i need to be thoughtful about the small space i'll have, but it's fucking hard! that said, it should only be about $100 to ship the boxes as media mail, so thank god for that. but i culled more than 100 albums in the process...

[b33tlejules]

Hey you. Reading this. Play Honor Bound.

Its like 5 dollars on steam Right Now.

[thekidsarentalright]

this year rly should be the year i get believers never die tattooed on me like ive been wanting since i got into fob huh. bc like. this whole era this whole tour is so. believers never die. the timing has never felt so right

[dandyshucks]

got my welfare application submitted finally, and now i will live in fear for the next two weeks until they phone me for the application interview 🧍‍♂️

so it will continue to be a while before i can be active a lot because im just far too stressed to be interacting w ppl much or making art rn HFDSJKL

[volfoss]

the worst part of doing this analysis is i have all the scripts in front of me. but as a guy who doesnt normally look for scripts, i was kind of struggling to find things outside of the unaired pilot so poked around some threads and. inexplicably theyre all on genius.com. its a nightmare world for ME

[kittycowboy]

The meower

[zeiktreats]

.

[un-pearable]

alright i’ve been procrastinating all weekend on the last part of my grad app (statement of purpose) and i have insider knowledge that they’ll be reviewing them march 9th. knuckles give me strength wish me luck in the agony (writing about myself) . ty for your kind words and humoring the app posting lately

[knightlas]

lyla... .. i love y ou.... .

[hazellight11]

FUCK I NEVER GOT SICK BEFORE COLLEGE BUT LAST YEAR I GOT SICK THE WEEKEND OF THANKSGIVING BREAK AND I'M GETTING SICK RN FUCK DORM FLU OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS

[nydlewds]

Fuck. I just hurt myself thinking about him today. God fucking damn it.

So much for feeling like I've moved past him.

Fuck me, this fucking hurts. I wish I NEVER involved lust in our relationship. I wish I didn't have all these urges. I wish I didn't feel so fucking... empty... Like there's a void within me, staring at me, expecting me to fill it with something.

It's hungry all the time. It wants me to give it anything, as long as it's filling. It wants me to feed it the worst possible options, just to satisfy a craving that can never be fulfilled, no matter how much it begs. No matter how much it consumes.

I hate it so, so fucking much.

I yearn for the simpler times when I never felt this void. I yearn for the times when the strongest intimacy I craved for was a simple, passionate kiss. To hold hands and hold someone. I don't want this fucking feeling of lust. I don't want to think about fucking... life-long biologically imprinting partnerships. I don't want primal urges. I hate it all.

[autism-corner]

my ears are finally the same size =w=bb

[haveihitanerve]

Le Ingredients: Papa needs to calm- Papa needs- papa-oy..

Hope you enjoy this insanity as much as I did! Lets go!:

“Should we just start off with ingredients?” I love it soo so so much when they turn to each other and ask, because usually the person who introduces the idea of the long form just has final say because they’re the ones talking(and they know each other well enough at this point to know which titles would make a good story for them/the others to develop) but i still love seeing them actually ask its so cute

“Thats how you start a recipe lets do it!” Damn Sam, thats so smooth. I forget sometimes this is their job lol

“Damn hes good.” lol exactly!

“All i need from you to get us started is- is some forced applause okay?” LMAOO TOM

“Thats why I married you.” AJ: *blinks. Pause. Ok sam. ok.* LMAOOO he did not see that coming

“I love you so much.” Lunges for Sam and kisses him so well he has to take a moment to recover is crazzyyyy XD

“Papa gets stressed.” Grins because he knows- he fucking knowss what he’s doing

“Papa needs to calm down.” Now Sam is in on it, even coming up behind ooohhh this is not how quickly i expected this to go-no complaints tho

“Papa needa calm- papa-oy-” Oh AJ did not expect Sam to go along lmaooo its too much for him

“I gave the 4-5 to.. James.. And *searches mind palace for another name* Tiffany.” XD

“ITALY!!!” *goes for a high five, gives Sam .2 seconds to reciprocate and gives up* “OkaY!!...”

“I love you.” “i love you too.” SAM FUCKING WINKS FUCKING WHAT. oh my gods… im going insane wow ok…

(also the absolutely no reaction from AJ, just a slight smile is killing me he was completely prepared for Sam to wink and acted like it happens on the daily and oh my gods)

*gasps dramatically* is Aj calling a side chick rn? No Aj! Bad AJ! Please give us a happy relationship…

Sam answering the phone XD

“She is gone is she? Where?” “I think to the toilet.” AJ… “is that what she said?” Sam is flabbergasted as to how AJ already forgot XD

Oh no, ok so AJ is planning something, what no one knows, not even him, but hes not cheating on his wife so we’re all good

“You need to bet in the papers.” “Did you say bet in the papers?” “No i said get in the papers.” mhm… sure Sam. sure. Also, thanks for giving us an actual plot of what aj is attempting to do???

AJ hanging up and then resuming his excellent stage craft of making food while waiting for either someone to join him or to end the scene- his little smile is so cute because he cant do anything unless someone else joins him XD

Sam just fucking screeching and AJ’s little jolt of surprise

[continuous cries of pain and choking for a disturbingly long time]

Tom sitting right next to Sam just :D watching to see what AJ’ll do next without bothering to move to help either one at all XD

AJ slowly breaking, a small smile, little flinch when Sam screams renewed, and shoulders shaking, while Tom props his arm up, classic Tom pose with his fingers over his mouth as he watches, they're so cute

*he is still going btw*

“HOT HOT! HOT! HOOOOOOTTT!” oh so he has words now, nice

[renewed cries of pain and??? drowning???]

[that also go on for a very long time and then eventually, slooowwwwlllllyyyyy die down]

Tom breaking and looking at Sam like “you good? You about done now?” 🫠😭

AJ taking a breath because its finally done

Sam: AUGH!! AJ: *pulls out a shotgun and fucking shoots him*

Sam himself finally ending the scene wth XD

Tom standing up resignedly as AJ finally gets to laugh off stage about Sam being weird 

“Morning chief.” Tom did not want that to be his character, as we can tell by his little sigh and AJ’s/Sam’s laughter at him. “Good morning.” why does he sound russian/like a vampire

“Any weird crimes happen yesterday?” Tom does his classic “ehhhhh.” nod. Love love love

“I've been up all night, its-” “what exactly happened?” AJ and Sam having shit eating grins because they made everything happen and are now forcing Tom to come up with the actual concrete details of the plot because they’re little shits like that XD

“I've only had time to watch it three times, it kept going y'know?” Shade thrown Sam’s way, very nicely done, and still being very obscure because he doesn't wanna build the plot lmaooo

“You know… you know octopuses?” Tom w h a t. Sam’s confused chuckle before he covers it because Tom. w h a t. 

“My story is always straight.👹” turns demonic for a second. Sam:... ok weird thing to say…

“So they serve octopus, paeiella.” …what. “Sorry?” Even Sam is knocked off guard. 

“Its a spanish dish.” “yeah.” Sam got that part. “Paella?” He knows what its called. “Octo- Let me finish why are you interrupting?” yes, act offended, perfect

“Shut your tiny mouth down.” even weirder thing to say but i dig it, keep going

“And thats not very nice, you know Im very insecure about the size of my mouth.” lmaooo Sam making it personal

“Its a small mouth are we meant to pretend?” Tom is not gonna let anything go, got it. “Meant to pretend its a normal sized mouth?” 

“okay come on lets move on.” Sam attempting to move the plot along

“Its dainty.” Tom not letting that happen “we like it, but its dainty.” Aj just grinning from off stage because he doesn't have to worry about plot or saying words properly

“So theres this octopus, and its in the paeilia.” (autocorrect tried to spell it correctly, but no, this is how tom spells it so this is how we spell it)

Sam folding, Aj laughing, and Tom being confused and defensive, amazing

“Cant pronounce that word, can you?” XD poor tom…

“PAIEALLLA!!!” Yes Tom, saying it louder means you are correct

“Paella.” That, strangely enough, autocorrect didn't want to change… suspicious

“Nooooo….” tom XD help-

“Im saying it the italiano way.” “oh I see. Wrong.” DAMN SAM!!! DAMN XD

“Anyway, octopus paella-” “octopus paeylla.” Tom- Aj loosing it on the side and Sam having to lean away, folding again. LMAOOO as Tom just stands there, like “what?” XD

“You sound like every time you say it, like you're having a mini stroke.” Sam will not let this go- also i've seen clips of this scene before and wow it goes on much longer than i believed lmaooo

AJ trying to recover and loosing it again when Sam says “mini stroke’ bending over fully and smacking his leg, amazing

“I will.. Get someone else.” now thats a threat. I think he means just in general, replacing Sam with a new improv group XD

“The other can do this just as well.” Aj your position off stage and not in the scene is being threatened. 

“What- you've just drawn an octopus so far. How does that *breaks, finally and laughs* help? I don't need pictograms *AJ cackling as he folds again, Sam trying to recover but failing* its not fucking ancient egypt.” this is glorious how did Tom manage to turn the tides on sam when its not even fucking real what hes doing LMAOOO XD

“Octopus- *disgruntled and aggressive glare at sam* paella.” Sam: *cheeky shit smirks and hold up a finger*-better!

“I work so hard.” we see you tom, we know, keep up the good work. 

“Octopus paeialla” he was so close!

“An octopus dish.” they have taken all the wind from his sails lmaooo

“Yum this delicious.. dish.”  poor baby XD

“I got to the big deal and you're just cutting off me!!!!!!” tom, where are these english degrees thats not proper word positioning in a sentence tsk tsk lol

“Were going back to the start!” Angry tom. “Octopus paeilla.” hes given up on all of them XD

“By the paella or by the octopus?” sam knew what he was trying to say and is just making life hard at this point XD and we love him for it

“AHHHHHH!” tom is ready to strangle him XD

*long winded explanation that periodically is interrupted by Tom *wiggle arms* and Aj laughing* and the woman is dead.  Well that wrapped up nicely…

“Si.” “Si?” “... yes.” Sam is just fucking with him now XD “Si. Yes.” *Tom is going insane* “what?” his little arm flaps at Sam hes so confused and concerned XD 

Meanwhile AJ: *loosing it offstage*

“Why are you questioning me?” I love the way he suddenly inhaled helium and is eight octaves higher, adore

“I think, open and shut case.” “octopus breaks into restaurant, *Aj’s giggle* hides into a paella, *deep breath* and then strangles *Tom: paeilla* (tom baby no) a woman.” “Si. ANd fire.” yes, yes Sam, don't forget the fire. 

“Maybe the octopus did it, i don't fucking know.” Sam is just done lmaoo

“Dina, dina come in.” AJ’s nod at Sam that ‘yes, you are dina, my wife, come here’ and Tom being extra “ill leave.” 

“Really?” Sam is shocked lmaooo, so much so he forgets his accent XD

“Why are the italians so fucking mental.” lmaooo- Translation: why are you two idiots so fucking mental, cant we have a normal fucking skit for once

“Its- is terrible.” Brilliant acting Aj, 10/10, everyone believes that you think its terrible

“Babi-” did he forget the name or is this his italian pet name for his wife? 

AJ’s smile and his correction- “dina” reveals the first(or its his weird italian way of saying “babe” or smth but nobody got it so he had to clarify lol)

“You only call me Babi when you're lying.” 

“This is your restaurant.” “yes?” aj is unaware how this is relevant. “This is so far very much within your wheelhouse.” LMAOOO

Aj’s hand still on Sam’s shoulder🫠

“Where would I find an octopus-” “you're a chef! Its one of the ingredients-!” Sam is loosing it XD

“But where would I find an octopus that has the ability to strangle someone and set itself on fire. *starts grinning* its so stupid.” It is indeed, and we love it

“I know about your circus past.” DAMN! The way AJ’s smile dropped so fast is incredible holy shit

“Don't you ever-” Both Sam and AJ break with laughter because honestly, what is this storyline XD

“The english mafia.” AJ fighting a smile🫠😭

*pulls out his actual, genuine iphone* look at this, Starling Bank *grins* What number does it say, from last nights revenue. Say it out loud.” AJ forcing Sam to create this, beautiful XD

Sam actually doing something on AJ’s phone lol, so sweet

“Two-” “two million euros.” Said in unison while grinning at each other- ill be right back let me just go cry in the corner-

Tom: *stands, ready to join the scene* Sam: the octopus! Tom: *look of disappointment and annoyance the way only good friends can convey with a single look*

All three of them laughing at the joke together im gonna cry theyre so cute

Tom’s head tilt- sobbing🫠

“No stop it!” Aj has to step in to defend him XD

Sam still losing it at his own joke while Tom just stares at him, done

“Let him be the character he wanted to be!” AJ!!! help- XD

“Do you have something to mention on the octopus. *voice shaking with laughter* whoever you may be.” Tom: *just starts fucking honking????* XD LMAOO

“Me and my comically large feet.” Puts foot up on chair where AJ’s hand was a second ago, moves it away before he places it because he saw it coming. Almost loses his balance- Sams hand snaps up and stabilizes him as Aj grabs the chair and his foot😭*sobs in the corner in i want their friendship*

THE WAY SAMS PHONE TURNS OFF RIGHT AS TOM SNAPS IS INSANEE

“Is he a clown or magician?” Tom: *eyes light up in idea* both! *fwish* flowers? Tom stop being sweet to AJ’s wife, this isn't a cheating story.. Also- the true magic is that hes wearing short sleeves, so he pulled the flowers out of his wrists… 

“Its a bird!” thank you for sharing Tom XD

The way they're all standing in like a triangle just periodically smiling at each other when they’re not the ones actively participating in the scene is too cute

“They have magicians at the circus right?” Noooot… really, but now really isn't the time to ask, that would have been like… a few seconds ago lol

Sam and AJ laughing, Sam releasing air like a balloon while AJ just chuckles, staring at tom incredulously like “you're asking this now??” and Tom just smiles and goes “yeahh.” and i love that for all of them

“This marriage is over!” NOOOO “No!” Sam: :) Si. LMAOO

“Remember,” Aj dropping a few inches in height just so Tom seems even taller is crazy mental and i love him for it

“The big top always comes out.. On top.” AJ’s surprised burst of a laugh is everything to me, including his little victorian hand over the mouth

Tom backing up while making clown honk noises and AJ tries desperately not to laugh

“Its like seven in the afternoon.” Tom: *really?* seven in the afternoon? Thats why!

“Im sorry, I’ve been up all night with duolingo trying to learn spanish words,*sam’s slow growing joy as the sentence progresses, AJ’s laugh in the back* apparently my pronunciation is terrible.” LMAOO Tom never change XD

Tom ever so casually just shutting the door in Sam’s face as he starts to ramble is a power move and also crazy

“I thought we could do this bit off stage because its really just… *flaps arms tiredly* they already know.” Sam laughs and does, in fact, end the scene lol

“Dmitri!” Tom: *speaks Russian gibberish back* AJ: *pauses, did not expect that, has to smile* don't speak russian! Fuckin- *cant think of something not xenophobic to say*-do it now!

“I have a successful restaurant-” Tom comes fucking floating in like hes the Ghost of Somerset past or smth weird like that..

AJ: *bamboozled but keeps talking, glancing at Tom like ‘what do you want now’* they're all so tired and done with each other its absolutely amazing

Tom weirdly hugging Aj… its just cute even if its weird…anyway…

“My name is.. Uh…” AJ not sure if hes been given a name, if he has a name, if he can come up with a name, or if waiters even introduce themselves. They don't, especially not if hes just serving food and not there to just grab orders, but he’s realizing that slowly XD

“I wanted some of your… paillllaa.” Tom, just… keep trying bud, you're doing great. Sam’s laugh off stage is amazing too

“You are under arrest.” AJ’s smile of ‘wow okay already? We moved fast tom, but ok..” “on suspicion of octopus” Tom, never change XD

“And we will kill no more women in here.” Sam and AJ having a stare down while Tom does a fourth wall break, iconic as always

“Everybody hear that? So, if any of you were thinking of doing a murder, n- you cant!” and thats- thats final!!! So says Tom! lmaooo

“I've got one last ingredient for you” *does stagecraft of taking off a ring, but maybe thats not obvious enough* “my wedding ring.” Tom: *nope we cant have that* thats actually contraband… so.. 

All of them cracking at Tom’s last joke

Also the way Tom was still cradling AJ’s hands… 😭

AND SCENE

ANyway this was absolutely delightful, loved the delightful arguing, the... i dont wanna say eye-fucking because they weren't doing that, maybe eye-shitting-on-each-other?? anyways it was amazing as always, they're too fucking cute and I love

This is also one of the first skits I've seen where AJ is equally as done with Sam and Tom as they are with him, and its delightful lmaoo

@dawn-speckled thank you for the rec! @snek-of-eden

[z0mb13zzbl00d]

'Found' (Leon Kennedy x Reader) Part 1(?)

Content: a bit angsty, gender neutral reader, cop reader, you're slightly older than leon, no use of y/n, re2!leon

Summary: Leon finds you, the only other RPD officer left alive in the station.

Disclaimer: IM A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL AND THIS IS MY FIRST FIC SO PLEASE BE NICE 😭😭 also if anyone likes this I'll make a part 2 maybe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~♡~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your hands have been shaking non-stop for God knows how long now. Your flashlight is out of batteries, and your handgun has 2 shots left. The feeling of the weapon in your tight grip is all that's grounding you at the moment. Your back hurts like hell, you must have been crammed in this locker for hours. It's the first place you had thought to hide, you mentally curse yourself. 'At least I'm not being eaten alive' you think. What a horrible way to go....God, it sounded agonizing. You feel your stomach turn with burning guilt. I can not believe I'm upset about my back hurting right now considering the horrific pain the others must have gone through, you think. Im so selfish. You're thrown out of your thoughts in an instant when you hear footsteps. You hold your gun tight, your heart beating fast in your ears.

The footsteps get louder and closer, till they're right in front of the locker. Your hands are shaking so hard your dead flashlight slips from your hand and you feel your blood go cold. It hits the metal floor of the locker with a deafening crash. You feel your knees go weak and your heart sink. This is it. I'm going to die. What was the point? You'd made no impact in the world, but maybe arresting a few drunk people on patrol. Nothing of importance. Not one person will be left to miss you, no boyfriend, no family, no friends...they are probably already dead. And you'd never even had a boyfriend in the first place. I can't die yet, there's so much i haven't done, you think to yourself. The locker opens and you scream and ready your gun, eyes clamping shut with all the force you can muster.

"Augh, jesus-! D-dont shoot!"

You register the words just before you squeeze the trigger! You open your eyes, and standing in front of you is a young, attractive man, looks like he's in his early 20's. You'd never seen him before, but he's in an RPD uniform. You sigh and shakily bring your gun back down to your belt. You clear your throat,

"Sorry, sorry...um, who-" You pause to swallow and take a breath. "who are you? Is it safe out- out there?"

He shakes his head no. He opens his mouth to speak.

"No, sorry...it's not safe."

"Thought so...and you are?"

"Leon, Leon Kennedy. I'm new here." He says with a small smile.

You smile back weakly. "Nice to meet you, Leon...so, uhm, do you know a way out of here?"

He nods! "Yeah, I might. But I'll need some help...I got this notebook, it has some notes from another officer about 3 medallions opening up a door to the parking garage. It seems a little far fetched but I geuss it's worth a try, right?"

You chuckle dryly. "Anything to get out of this hell hole."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡ timeskip ♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're searching high and low for the final medallion, but you can't focus on the search. Leon notices.

"Is everything okay? You...aren't bit, are you? Or hurt?"

You turn around.

"Huh? No im okay, its...everything is okay."

He gives an unsure nod then gets back to searching around the room. Your mind is plauged with the memories of your friend's final screams, and desperate pleas for help. There's nothing you could have done, you tell yourself. Nothing you could have done...no, stop thinking about it! Pushing the memories back into your head is all you can do right now. You cant afford a mental breakdown, not now. Not here.

Leon knows what you're thinking, because he's feeling that way too. Maybe not to the same extreme as you, but the memory of that officers death...his legs, or rather the lack of legs...his organs...made Leon feel weak and queasy. If he'd only been quicker, or if he hadn't hesitated. Maybe things would be different for him. He should be getting out with us, but he's not. He'll be here forever, this station is his tomb. Leon hopes that it wont be his too.

You see the look of guilt in his eyes, and you place a hand on his shoulder. You rub his shoulder and give him an empathetic look, a look that speaks louder than words can, as if to say 'i know. it's not your fault.' You let go and continue to search. Leon is touched by the gesture but can't control the warmth spreading in his heart and on his soft cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡ end of part 1 ♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~