#saved my life to be on me permanently. bc it means so much to me like. fuck i should just get it done man!!!!!!!!!

[thekidsarentalright]

this year rly should be the year i get believers never die tattooed on me like ive been wanting since i got into fob huh. bc like. this whole era this whole tour is so. believers never die. the timing has never felt so right

[sovonight]

.

[briebysabs]

Okay I wanna talk about woosan in the ateez canon lore for a minute because they’re actually insane. Like sure, they’re a popular pairing so it’s natural to have them be the classic duo in MVs. But they’ve done it so many times that it has to be more than fanservice at this point.

For instance, the ending to Eternal Sunshine where Woo runs and takes San’s hand as they float mid-air. What was the purpose this has still not been explained. A theory I heard was that Eternal Sunshine is a collective dream Ateez is having but still. I get they were really pushing woosan in 2021 but I squinted my eyes, it’s sus to me.

I’ve heard the theory too that WY from Halateez might be a traitor. I think it stemmed from the Hala Hala video where he’s left standing with blood on his mouth, everyone else fallen. Sick ass shot btw but they did defeat the Z-world government in Crazy Form (though idk if that was Halateez or A-world Ateez). So I feel like if he was it would’ve been revealed by now but it’s still a possibility.

I’ve also heard that canon woosan (before anyone yells I said canon not irl) are an implied couple and that’s the subtle nodding to standing up against an oppressive government and Ateez’s whole themes surrounding freedom. Could be true but that’s also putting a lot of faith into a kpop company being progressive enough to integrate that into their storyline.

There is what woosan said at a fansign about their characters in bouncy:

I understand that they’re the Black Pirates in disguise but if WY was ever a traitor, his lack of caring what happens to San would make sense. What makes the angst is that San wholeheartedly trusts in WY here. But my personal theory that I have is at some point, one version of woosan is going to sacrifice themself for the other. Now, it is a leap to say Ateez would kill off a member in their storyline because it could upset some fans. But they can get away with it regardless if it’s permanent or temporary because they have multiple versions of themselves in their lore. So nobody is 100% gone forever but it’ll still be a loss.

And preferably I want it to be WY if it ever happens. Here’s why: idk about Z-world WY but A-world WY’s biggest obstacle or regret was being too late, lacking confidence, being uncertain and missing his chance. While San wanted stability and was tired of his life constantly changing, thus losing friends. So think about it.

If WY died for San, he overcame his wall. He took a chance, he didn’t miss it and would regret nothing bc he couldn’t lose San. While San now lost his best friend forever, the biggest change of his life. And I do know that their backstories in A-world are somewhat reflective of themselves irl. And WY has been described as really the glue that holds the team together, that they wouldn’t be as close as they are without him. Not that losing any other member wouldn’t be heartbreaking but like….if WY died in canon I feel like even the staff would be crying behind the camera y’know what I mean?

And San can go full “I gotta save him, I can’t lose another friend he means too much to me”. It’ll work bc even if you’ve only watched the MVs without knowing anything else about woosan, you know what San means bc you usually see them paired in the songs. So he may use the Cromer (if they still have it) to time travel somehow which will be bringing us to another dilemma because Yunho’s brother has been dead. And I’m pretty sure in one of the diaries they went back in time for some reason, Yunho saw this opportunity and tried to save him from the accident that killed him but it still happened anyway. So there’s 1. Yunho’s like hey San I love WY too but why should we save him and not my brother? Then 2. Yunho going uh I tried doing this before and it didn’t work and I had to relive my brother dying so San don’t do this. And then San just doesn’t listen so it causes a rift within the group.

I feel like this would also give an excuse to keep the story going because the revolution is over. I think the main thing that caused me some fear about this comeback was Mingi going on a podcast saying how 2024 was really their year and they want to end it with a grand finale. Terrifying words, I think the incoming comeback is gonna be lore and it’s gonna be big. Doesn’t need to be woosan-related, probably isn’t but it just spawned my inner worm thoughts of their place in the lore.

[circinuus]

HIII can i request an Chuuya x reader where Chuuya saves reader ( they are just a civilian and no ability pls) and to get home chuuya use his ability and its the first time for reader to his ability tyyy♡♡♡♡

in a sky full of stars, i see you

chuuya x fem! reader. 1.5k words

chuuya, the ever-gentlemanly and kind chuuya, will do everything to protect you and your smile.

[unestablished relationship; implied attempt of sexual harassment]

❥ nonnie, your request made my howl-chuuya agenda happy. having said that, tysm for the rq ♡ i had to make reader fem bc of the petname, hope you don't mind :'

Chuuya has always liked the fineness of wine.

There's something about the way they intoxicate him; the curious mix of sweet grape and bitter tannin that linger on his tongue, the telltale fruit-like, sometimes earthy aroma that wafts to his nose, and the way they swirl beautifully like liquid ruby in his glass 

Through wine, too, fate finally did him a good favor and let him meet you. And yet, he can't seem to find it in himself to indulge in its delicacy. Not tonight.

"Nakahara," your voice cuts his silent mullings. "If you're still worried about that, you shouldn't be. I'm fine."

"I shouldn't?" his eyes search your face, "Some bastard almost touched you. Disrespected you—The bar owner, for fuck's sake!"

"Hey hey," you reach for his arm, "You took care of that 'bastard' yourself, didn't you? You know I'll do the same even if you weren't there."

The good-for-nothing is now permanently banned from your bar. You didn't know what Chuuya had said to the sad excuse of a human being, but the person was already running with his tail between his legs before you promptly closed the establishment for the day.

Had it not been for the patient, assuring way you softly hold his arm, the lascivious man wouldn't have lived long enough to see the next sunrise.

"Got the guts blamin' it to the wine too," he grits his teeth, "that little shit-"

His tone raises. but it was too late when your hold on him slightly faltered.

You flinched. For God's sake, you flinched. You flinched and Chuuya thought maybe Kouyou was right, maybe everyone was right, maybe he shouldn't meddle with the life of a civilian. 

As much as you’ve intoxicated him like the sweet taste of a Romanee-Conti, as much as he finds himself coming back every night and attain comfort in your presence, his presence might one day grant you something more than an idiotic drunkard.

So maybe it's time to stop. 

"Shit," he breathes out, "Sorry, (Name). I'll-"

"Stay."

The bar is coated with dead silence, deprived of any sign of patrons and alcohol-induced exuberance it usually has.

"I mean-" you put the last glass back in its place, "Obviously, we're closing soon. I was just wondering if you'll stay with me—until I get to my apartment?"

Oh.

Chuuya creases his eyebrows, "You shouldn't just trust any man like this, ya' know?"

"Yeah, and you're not just any other man. I trust you."

'That is, if you want to,' you add an afterthought, ‘But you've done a lot for me today,' your voice hesitates. But uncertainty soon lost its place as a gloved hand, after a moment's pause, offered itself for you to take.

"You go home like this every night?"

"Yeah. The walk isn’t that far."

"Alone?"

"Yep."

A breeze blows, bringing the port's mild smell of the sea to even the rural area of Yokohama. Chuuya slightly frowns as he matches your steps.

“Remind me to accompany you home, from now on."

"Come on!" a humorless laugh escapes you. "I've been doing this for years, I'll be fine.

"-Was what I'd normally say. But after what happened.."

The moon hangs high in the sky, its melancholy mirroring the conflict in your eyes.

Chuuya doesn't like it, he figures. The desire to track down and give that bastard a piece of his mind runs strong, but the impulse to wipe that clouded expression off your face was profound.

So the words cut through the heavy silence before he can stop his tongue.

"Say, you’re not scared of heights, aren't cha?"

“No, why?"

“Wanna see a magic trick?”

You blink. “Come again?"

"I told ya' about my ability, didn't I?" 

"Yeah?" you eye him curiously "But you never really showed me."

"Well then," he stops in his tracks, now facing directly at your form.

"It's your lucky day, princess."

Like before, a gloved hand presented itself in front of you; like a knight—in a bowl hat and dark coat, to a princess—who lives in a downtown apartment.

The idea made a smile bloom on your lips.

"I gotta ask again," something mischievous twinkled in the his eyes, "Do you trust me?" 

His protective hands had shielded you from that lascivious drunkard, he reels back his anger to not make you flinch, and he indulgently agreed to escort you home—even when you choose to traipse through the city in favor of getting some fresh air to distract your mind.

What reason do you have to change your answer?

"Hold on tight," he promptly whispers as your hand nestles in his. Before you know it, an arm has itself secured around your waist, and with a swift kick of Chuuya's soles, you feel as light as a cloud.

"Now straighten your legs and start walking, sweetheart."

The ground seemed to zoom away from your sight, and only then did you realize you were walking on air, steps already treading in tandem with Chuuya's swift strides.

"See?" the hand on your waist now seamlessly intertwines itself with yours. "Not so hard is it?"

His hands are secure on yours. And you trust him so much, you think. More than you admit. No inkling of fear was present—even when you're several feet above the ground, treading among stars like the Weaver Princess and Hikoboshi during the night of Tanabata.²

“That’s my girl,” you receive a small chuckle for your dazed nod.

That night, something tingles in your heart. 

Yokohama's night lights twinkle like radiant stars, concealing each and every one of its darkness. From beyond, the moon smiles at you, surrounding her are the luminesce of various constellations.

When you lean back, you feel the warmth of Chuuya's chest. When you glance at his face, you see the sight of his smile and the reflection of the stars in his eyes.

It feels like a dream. But dreams are always fleeting, as they say.

The warmth of his gloved hand doesn't leave yours before you safely land on your apartment floor, steady in your balance. His hands seem to linger longer, but you already miss his warmth as soon as he lets you go.

"There you go," he steadies you, now perched on the railings in front of your door. What he gave you was an experience beyond your wildest dreams. Your face is flush with exhilaration and bafflement. But when you look at his face, 

"(Name)," an undertone of worry still colors his face. 

”I know I won't. But if ya' ever caught me go stupid over too much alcohol-”

‘Or if another idiot dares as to touch you.’

“Let me know, then give me a damn good punch in the face."

You pause at this, before breaking out into a loose laugh. "I thought 'too much alcohol' was never in your dictionary, Mr. Wine Connoisseur.”

"I'm serious."

The night air languidly blows a cold breeze. An early sign of precipitation; the sky is as cloudy as Chuuya's expression.

You let out a sigh, hand reaching to straighten his slightly crooked hat.

"It isn't like you to get so frazzled, Nakahara."

'Because it's about you,' Chuuya wanted to say. But he couldn't. Not when those words will bound him closer to you, and someday keep you from smiling like this.

"Just call me Chuuya," so he compromised.

"Okay, Chuuya." you acquiesce, "You're a great man, you know? A real gentleman. You gotta be careful, I might just fall in love with you."

It isn't fair. You can't just carelessly say such things. With your easy smile, bathed in the gentle luminesce of moonlight like this, his heart aches further. '

Then do, fall in love with me.

"-But you're right. I'll be sure to give you a good punch. Though I'm confident you'll never lose yourself." 

"On second thought-," you press a finger on your chin, “Maybe not. You did go a bit crazy once. Must’ve been a very stressful day for you.”

Chuuya was almost ready to plunge into a flurry of panic and guilt, readying himself to forget any foolish sentiments and stay away from your life, for good. But his mind freezes at your next comment.

"But how can I just punch you when you looked so cute?"

"..What?"

You raise your palms in defeat, “Got totally wasted on Cabernet. But I made sure no one messed with you."

"Though you did mumble some interesting things in your sleep,'" you add with a playful wink. 

When Chuuya asked, with the remaining composure he had left, you only responded with a perky "Who knows~" as you turned to your apartment door.

"But in all seriousness,” you give him a final glance, “Thank you for everything, Chuuya." 

Looking at your placid smile, Nakahara Chuuya realized he had fallen deeply, hopelessly for you. And perhaps he was the last one to know that.

"Usual time and place tomorrow?"

Chuuya be damned. Who is he—a mere man—to refuse when you asked him so sweetly?

the howl pendragon-chuuya agenda¹ i'm talking about. yall should watch howl's moving castle frfr

the weaver princess and the cowherd ² (orihime and hikoboshi, in the japanese culture variation) are characters found in a chinese mythology about star-crossed lovers. their love was not allowed, and thus they were banished to opposite sides of the heavenly river (symbolizing the milky way). once a year, on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month (celebrated as the tanabata festival in japan), a flock of magpies would form a bridge to reunite the lovers for a single day. (source)// cmiiw

♡ @ashthemadwriter

[ironunderstands]

Spreading my HSR characters I think could be green lanterns agenda (bc the crossover worms have infected me)

Boothill: 100% he’d be a GL, I think ideologically the Galaxy Rangers are very similar to the Green Lanterns (both because the Hunt + the concept of Willpower are very similar and because they both dedicate themselves to helping people) even if the way they operate is very different, as the GLs are very organized and the GRs are like, the exact opposite of that. I also think this would be interesting because he is an outlaw which would cause problems, however he’d be so damn good at his job that I think that would make up for it. Also he would look so good in that uniform (someone more talented than me draw it pspspsp) Also also I need to see him making a giant pistol construct and shooting Oswaldo Schneider with it (he will find a way around that lethal force restriction)

Rappa: Very similar reasons to Boothill, moreover she’s an extremely creative, unique individual so I think her constructs would be insane + with everything she’s been through and following the Hunt and all, she’s 100% have the willpower for it. She’d have a little too much fun with it though and I could see other heroes seeing her as a nuisance when she creates a giant spray can and paints half the city with it. I need to put her and Batman in a room together, it would be the funniest thing ever. I also think people tend to expect a certain kinda attitude from GLs (besides maybe Guy Gardner), but I think she’d subvert that both due to the way she talks and how carefree she seems to be on the surface. Despite how inherently powerful GLs are, I can see a lot of her enemies really underestimating Rappa due to her attitude, in which she will proceed to kick their asses in Dazzling Ninja Hero fashion.

Jingliu: Now I didn’t pick her because I believe she’d actually WANT to be a GL (infact I think she’d make far more sense as a yellow lantern, Jingliu had Hoolay tweaking just from the mere mention of her name), but rather she has such an immense amount of willpower from 24/7 forcing herself to not give into her Mara that even if she’s probably never earn the ring (it’s just not her style), she’d be probably one of the best users of it ever.

Aventurine: Now hear me out. This guy’s been through hell and back and survived due to his incredible luck, spite, and skill. I think what Aventurine needs more than anything is a) the ability to get away from the IPC permanently and b) the ability to help/save people to fill the void of guilt and emptiness inside of him. If Aventurine were made a green lantern he’d finally, truly be able to be free AND be able to do something that actually gives his life meaning, because even though Acheron and Ratio helped him find the strength within himself to keep on going, he’s still a Stoneheart (and until he gets the inevitable revenge on Oswaldo + perhaps the IPC as a whole) therefore is still trapped. Let my boy fly around saving people and preventing intergalatic incidents, he deserves it

Acheron: Do I even have to explain her? She’s dedicated her life to achieving what even she describes as a meaningless, impossible task to which she will never back down from, using a GL ring would be child’s play to her. However, like Jingliu, she’s in a similar boat to where I can’t see her trying to fulfill the duties of a GL, just that I think she’d be really, really good at it if she did. Although her goal is still helping people, Acheron’s very hard to pin down (hell, even she doesn’t know where she’s going half the time), and I can’t see her keeping up w the kinda rigorous schedule + space sector shtick the lanterns have

Some honorable mentions to Yanqing, Seele, Feixiao, and probably a few others who I would definitely explain the reasoning behind if I wasn’t so lazy 😅

[dizzystqrs]

personal h2o lore & mermaid rules explanation

disclaimer: h2o: just add water is by no means a scientific show, the creators even said that they didn't put much thought into the specifics of anything, but if you are like me and Upset that they didn't, this is for u <3

disclaimer 2: these are my personal best-of-my-ability explanations, but they r Not canon at all, and absolutely feel free to disagree!

here we go!!

1. are the girl's human forms and mermaid forms separate bodies?

short answer: no, they aren't--but the episode red herring does make it seem that way, when emma's red hair is only in one form. however, if they were separate bodies, emma's finger cut in season 1 and rikki's head injury in season 2 which they both got in mermaid form would not have stayed when they transformed back (but they did!) it's more of a bodily permanent-to-not-permanent basis on what stays and what leaves during a transformation.

long answer: opalsiren also has a detailed post on this if you're curious (and i do highly recommend giving it a read bc it changed my life, reshaped my reality, watered my crops, etc etc) but i'll try to explain it here too

if we look at what stays and what leaves during a transformation, we can sorta see a pattern

freckles, scars, wounds, hair texture/length, bodily proportions (mermaid forms age along with their human forms) and eye color all stay the same, meanwhile clothes, accessories, makeup, hair dye, etc, all disappear. furthermore, anything permanent, genetic, or breaking the skin keeps, and anything temporary or sitting on top of the skin disappears, and then reappears later. (ex: hair length stays consistent because hair follicles penetrate the skin and go beneath it, semi-permanent hair color doesn't cuz it inly sits around the hair follicles. would dying your hair fully & permanently transform too? mayhaps!)

a scientific way to explain this would be that the transformation process takes into account genetics and then the current state of your body before making the switch into either form. so, during the 30 seconds it takes to transform, the process involves reading the genetic code (eye color, skin color, face shape, etc, and also perhaps it only does this the first time, and saves the information for the future?) and then the state of the body (wounds, age, weight, hair length, etc) and then proceeds to alter the genetic makeup to the incoming body type with the new information. (and all of this needs to be read so that the transformation doesn't mess with anything integral or unnecessary, and doesn't cause unwanted changes!! for example i like to think a mermaid bleeding out would not transform back, in order to preserve the body's energy and resources)

2. how do the girls get clean?

this is by far the most common question i see and. u know what... it is a good one to ask LMAO

as i went into before, anything that doesn't permeate the skin will disappear when transforming. this includes dirt and grime!! it will just disappear, then come back like everything else. while they could wash their face and arms in mermaid form, their legs will still be grimy cuz theyre unaccessible!! so like,, how is no one complaining that the girls smell all the time?

so first, fun solution; i like to think that a good solution is that the transformative process is cleansing, as in they straight up Turn Into Water so every single impurity on their skin (such as dirt, oil, makeup maybe, etc) is washed away in both human form and mermaid form in the 30 seconds it takes for them to fully turn. this is a little hard to explain scientifically but i think it would make more sense when given the magic treatment--it just does it bc it can.

semi-boring solution, probably the canon one: their mermaid skin IS their human skin, so cleaning a mermaid tail is just like cleaning their human legs. would make sense as to why they all take baths w their tails! this is also probably the canon explanation, because when dr. denman transforms a scale in her lab, it shifts right back into skin, meaning it is, essentially, the same material. this conflicts a teensy bit with previously established lore in my opinion but . yknow. it is a mermaid show for kids 💀

actual boring solution: there is a canon specific amount of water content that transforms them, which i believe is like above 32% or something. if a liquid contains 32% water, boom, tail. however, it wouldn't be too hard to find alcoholic wipes that contain less than that water content, which they could use to clean the parts of their body that the mermaid tail obscures. straight bars of soap are sometimes less water content than that too, so they could pretty easily just scrub then dry-wipe it off. is it... more sanitary/safe than just washing with water? probably not! but it's an option! and if you dont vibe with the above options, this is a p good alternative

3. hey, what the Fuck is the moonpool

fantastic question. literally no one knows. they are soooo vague with this piece of lore it actually makes me upset considering how COOOL it is that there is an ancient magic pool in a volcano on an abandoned island. they fumbled the bag so hard guys

heres like, pretty much everything we know canonly abt it (in h2o lore only, not mako mermaids, all my homies hate mako mermaids)

- it works hand-in-hand with the moon & planets

- it, or the water in it, is sentient, and is aware of any dangers to it

- it seems to have a connection to fate (as in, the 1950's mermaids & their connection to the 2000's girls)

- there are several of these (implied, but there could just be only one other in ireland)

- each one has a specific set of water-based powers to give out, evenly divided among each person that jumps in the moonpool in a full moon, and these powers can be amplified on specific nights. (this also seems to correspond with personality)

-it is magic. (this is a point because it is Very hard almost near impossible to explain it scientifically)

and yeah! i personally have a few headcanons for What the moonpool is and how it works, but i think it's a lot more fun to make your own so go crazy (and there is no way i could explain it cuz i have like 8000 thoughts abt it and None of them fit in a tumblr post) !! if youre curious u can read my fic about it tho B) xoxo

anyway that's all!! feel free to tack on any questions or answers slash disagreements about this silly little mermaid show as well !! <3

[n-a-gindustries]

i. i um. made a beavis and butt-head playlist.

(reasoning for each song is under the cut bc i have. a lot of thoughts.)

1. "Lullaby to Nightmares" by They Might Be Giants

(BOTH) This song is meant to encapsulate the veerryyy beginning stages of their friendship,,,like when they were gross toddlers/little kids fucking around in the summer heat of their stagnant town. only the faintest implications of them being n e thing more than friends.

2. "Adam" by Alex G

(BUTT-HEAD) Butt-head is a little pissy elementary schooler who doesn't know how to handle his weird new emotions for his friend so he just beats the shit out of him. get it together, man.

3. "Hold Me Down" by The Happy Fits

(BEAVIS) Beavis is a very unstable elementary schooler who values Butt-head's company and role in stabilizing him. he doesn't really understand much of anything at this point he just knows he likes his friend a lot.

4. "I Get A Kick Out Of You" by Frank Sinatra

(BUTT-HEAD) Man Butt-head doesn't really get why but Beav is like his only source of genuine entertainment and human connection. he's a massive loser but he's HIS massive loser and he values the time they spend together. but no he's definitely not gay its not like that.

5. "The Red Means I Love You" by Madds Buckley

(BEAVIS) Beavis loves violence and his favorite violence comes from his interactions with Butt-head. It's not inherently romantic but there's absolutely something weird going on that no one really wants to unpack right now.

6. "You're My Best Friend" by Queen

(BOTH) Quoi??? They're getting over themselves and actually appreciating the genuine friendship they have without hiding behind a thousand insults and beatdowns???? It's a miracle! Let's hope no drastic event occurs to completely throw a wrench into their life and relationsh-

7. "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You" by Michael Bolton

(BOTH) Of course I had to add this song are you kidding? Some kind of wrench has been thrown into their lives (the extent of which is dependent on the timeline) and don't know how to cope with such drastic change and the possibility of losing each other permanently.

8. "The Wheels Fell Off" by The Hoosiers

(BEAVIS) Beavis is pissed off as hell bc he can kind of get over himself emotionally but Butt-head has padlocked himself within the closet and has reverted to being a little bitch. At this point he feels like they're probably broken irreparably and has kind of given up. he's leaving.

9. "Something About Us" by Saint Motel

(BUTT-HEAD) BUT WAIT!! Butt-head realizes he will probably die without Beavis and goes to stop him from leaving and confesses and Beavis confesses back and all that. its all very sweet and gay and im happy they're finally done being incredibly stupid.

10. "I Got You Babe" by Sonny & Cher

(BOTH) YAAAAY THEYRE CORNY N IN LOVE. its cute i imagine theyre just chilling in the honeymoon phase completely unphased by the actual shock and horror the rest of highland is feeling about this new development. they're made for each other.

11. "Boyfriend" by The Hot Freaks

(BOTH) further on into da relationship n they r still going strong!!! theyve been boyfriends 4 a while n they r sickeningly sweet in their own putrid, lovely way. they really just want to be togther for the rest of their lives.

12. "No One Knows" by Stephen Sanchez and Laufey

(BOTH) both a little bit older and waaayyyy out of the honeymoon phase. they have had their fair share of problems and arguments (see: AN INSANE AMOUNT), but at the end of the day they love each other and should not split up bc imma be real no one else wants them.

13. "Love Song" by AC/DC

(BUTT-HEAD) OF COURSE I HAD TO ADD A SONG EACH FROM THEIR T SHIRT BANDS. Butt-head you corny bastard.....he is a middle aged dude in gay love and he knows Beavis is in gay love and he wants to be that way with him forEVA.

14. "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica

(BEAVIS) Beavis's turn!!!! his aging ass is sooo happy to be with the one person as repugnant and gross and mean and interesting and funny and perfect as him and he doesn't give a single shit what other people may think of them. they're happy.

15. "Museum of Idiots" by They Might be Giants

(BOTH) They r old farts and they r still going strong. good for them!!! they've been in highland all of their lives and they have no plans of leaving ever or splitting up ever. they are going to live and die in this town and they are perfectly content with this because they have each other. this is their perfect life.

[mrhowells]

Smallville 4x03

such an iconic episode, I'm so ready😩 (edit: ignore any typos you might find, I was going through it💀)

NOOOOOOOO THIS IS SO FKN FUNNY PLS LOOK AT THIS MAN'S HAIR I CAN'T BREATHE

Honestly I'm so thankful that not a single one of my schools was like this, it's like everyone just reached an unspoken agreement that bullying was uncool and we'd mind our own business.

needles😬

"Have I told you how much I'm gonna miss you?"

no you haven't but you definitely should, go on😌

*in unison* around where????

HELL YEAH FORCED PROXIMITY FTW

"Come on, do you know how many people would kill to relive their senior year of high school?"

No way in hell, and I had a relatively peaceful experience💀😭

"The last thing I want to be is a reporter."

She would absolutely be perfect but let's get one thing straight: If there's a person on this show who knows when to mind their own fucking business, it's LOIS🤷🏻‍♀️

I mean both Chloe and Lois make valid points, she's 17 and while I totally understand why Abby did it, it really is a bit concerning. Especially considering her mother has been pushing her to do it for the last 3 years😬

I got a comment from a helpful user under my post for last episode (ty🥰), apparently Jason is roughly the same age as Lex?? And he started dating Lana when she was 17?? AND HE'S THE FKN ASSISTANT COACH AT SCHOOL?

Clark wants to try out for the team again🥺

Jonathan let Martha have a job off the farm dude come on, be supportive. YES THANK YOU

omg did he fake his parent's signature on the permission slip???

"...they want people to look at them differently."

he's making points🤷🏻‍♀️

UGH I'm so weak for happy, excited Clark just look at himmm😭🥹

"Maybe if I'd been more patient I would've seen who you really are." EEEEEEEW throw the whole man away🤢

honestly fuck everyone who destroyed her self-esteem to the point where she's flattered bc a crusty man like that shows interest

asjaksjaksj

he's not even denying it-

PLSSSS their faces, especially Lois😭

I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR

and look at Lois "not interested in journalism" Lane right on the story😌😌😌

I'm connecting some dots here and I don't like ittttt😬😬

"I still can't believe that you have a job at my school."

I feel like Lana has had more personality in these last few episodes than she had in the last 3 seasons combined, so that's great to see.

Lex knowssss👀

OMFG LOIS I LOVE YOU

I'mghfdjfghdj LOIS ARE U FREE ON MONDAY-

look at herrrrr😭 LISTEN IF I HAD CLARK'S POWERS-

I mean I agree that beauty is on the inside but that's very easy to say when you look like a literal angel💀 OOp evil surgery lady just said the same thing I did idk how to feel about that💀💀

I love that they're already establishing little things about her, she's messy, she can't spell etc. (though Chloe sounded a bit passive aggressive in both instances, maybe I'm just reading it wrong tho😬)

"It looks like Lois is one step ahead of us." THAT MAKES ME SO PROUD🥺🥺

Clark saving Lois and then Lois saving Clark is something so personal to me actually-

UGH LOOK AT THEMMMMMM😭

*kicks woman* "Bitch."

her lil smile seeing her article in the torch😭

yesss she has fans as she fucking should😌

(Can I just quickly say that as much as I love Homecoming, they could've had at least ONE person at the reunion remember Lois from high school, watching that shit left permanent scars on my soul, it was so cruel😭 Like come on, if reading her article was a "life changing experience" for some students, it would make total sense for SOMEONE to remember her. (yes I'm super salty and what about it))

FUUUUUUUCK I JUST REALIZED I HIT THE 30 IMAGE LIMIT AND I'M NOT EVEN AT THEE DUNK TANK SCENE😭 (off to delete some of them I guess😭)

omg here it comes

"Come on Lois, didn't those guys at the base teach you anything?" "Wouldn't you like to know."

akasjkasdjak YOU KNOW HE WOULD

they wanna bone so bad it makes them look like absolute fucking clowns there I said it

DOESN'TMATTERCAUSEYOU'REGOINGDOWNTHAT'LLBETHEDAYSKADWNKW can you tell I'm losing my last shred of dignity here

ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY CLEARED MY SKIN IMPROVED MY GRADES WALKED MY DOGS ETC THIS SCENE CHANGED MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND-

and Tumblr won't even let me upload my 5732893 screenshots where's the justice😭

[queen-scribbles]

*crawls out of the woodwork* hi hi! Just wanted to say your vesper x kurt fics are amazing and thank you for sharing content. Have been back to this Fandom in the year of our lord 2024 lol. And I just wanted to scream about the de vespe DLC with a kurt fan and....

*swoons*

It's everything I hope for and more!! Would love to hear about your initial thoughts especially the dialog with kurt!

HI! Always nice to meet another Kurt fan! :D You're very welcome for sharing content, thank you for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed them bc I do love writing about them.

OH LORD, the de Vespe DLC, I was excited for more content when that came out and it delivered. Especially for Kurt and his romance, holy cow. (In other words I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABOUT IT THANKS FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE) I have multiple posts from various playthroughs in my Greedfall gaming tag about the Kurt stuff, from how protective and supportive he is, to him being all "Don't believe the nonsense in Aurelia's files on us" when his is just that he cares too much about the recruits and is too loyal to be bribed and I'm just like. Dude. I knew these things already. Neither one is nonsense, sorry I know you're actually a gigantic softie, in my defense you DIDN'T HIDE IT VERY WELL but his romance dialogue

HOLY

SHIT

I also have several posts joking about Kurt's VA owing me compensation for emotional damage with how well he does a lot of personal quest/romance scenes, but the KURT ROMANCE DIALOGUE IN THE DLC OH MY GODDDDDD. OH MY GOD. I have a save right before that conversation and I redid it about five times on the initial run, at least three on each replay, and will occasionally load that save JUST TO HEAR IT AGAIN bc it's so GOOD. He worries about you but knows you can handle yourself, no what's bugging him(and I love that DS is so gentle about the "you know you can talk to me right?") is the arranged marriage thing bc OFC you deserve "better"(/eyeroll) and he's being all doubting his worth again and YOU CAN ASK HIM TO MARRY YOU (THE WAY I WHOOPED first time through, seeing that option) before your uncle can go arranging anything and HIS VOICE. That quiet little "do you really mean what you just said?" is permanently etched into my brain partly bc I've heard eighteen times but whatever. He can't believe it, he has to be dreaming, and then you confirm and his only hesitation is worrying what will happen to you(bc he doesn't matter, he's an insignificant mercenary and Kurt buddy you MATTER TO HER we gotta work on that). And I gotta say that I love your response boiling down to "what's my uncle gonna do about it, he's halfway around the world and he needs me here😎" BAD.ASS. And once he's sure you're sure he's 100% in favor and you exchange I love yous and I melted into an extremely happy puddle.

(I did write a Ves/Kurt wedding fic and it's one of the most breathlessly joyful pieces I've made in my life, both of them were practically vibrating they were so happy)

[ghostbustermelanieking]

Aight, so, I saw your post about rereading your fics and I knew I had to drop in because any besmirching of your inspired xf fics CANNOT stand because I cherish them too much. If you didn't already own the rights to them, I'd bind myself legally to you in court just so I could split and keep the "kids" because your fics? They just don't miss. They don't.

*cracks knuckles*

I have THREE-- count 'em-- THREE Google docs of copy-pasted fics and original and backup links to your work because I was struck with terror one day deep-diving your archives that I could wake up and they might be gone; and that began my feverish mission to tag them all for my extensive rereads. They total 311 pages and I reread them obsessively. I'm not ashamed to say that your IVF three parter is part of my top of all time fics; and particularly this one: it's seared into my brain, you cannot remove it from my amygdala, I have worn the equivalent of Braille grooves into my eyeballs by how much I hungrily eat that story over and over and over. Your post half-light short fics? Part of my soul. YOUR AUS??? UNMATCHED ON THIS GORGEOUSLY GREEN AND BLUE PLANET. Your Tumblr prompts? Omnomnom-- that's me eating them up with a spoon.

Cast that FILTHY self-doubt from your presence because it is not worth the mud under your tiniest toenail.

...This may be a bit dramatic, but your fics were some of the first I'd ever written; and without you and a select few other authors, I wouldn't be as entrenched in fanfic as I am now. So... thank you. XDDD

thank YOU ❤️ ❤️❤️ you have no idea how much this means to me!! writing x files fic was such a huge part of my high school experience; i loved it dearly, and it did a lot to make me the writer i am today! (i feel like i cut my teeth on writing spooky x files fics lmao -- i want to be like a ghost story novelist someday.) it means so much to know that not only are people still reading them, but they cherish them this deeply. i'm so glad you like them so much!! (i promise that i personally won't be taking down any archived fic, unless there's legal issues waayy down the road, and even then... but the lack of permanency that comes with the internet scares me, so i don't blame you at all for saving them.) thank you so much for your kind message, your encouragement, and your relentless support/promotion of fanwork and fanfiction writers!! i love that people are still coming into the fandom, and i honestly do miss it a lot. someday in my life i will definitely have an x files renaissance, and hopefully finish phantom weights, bc i hate having left it unfinished

(also, if it makes you feel any better, the fic i was talking about is one i wrote a couple weeks ago lmfao -- although the fact that i was a teenager when i wrote txf fic makes me a little scared to revisit it 😳 it has less to do with the overall quality and more with my overall nitpickiness when it comes to my work, lol)

[antirepurp]

i've been thinking abt the gang's ages as of frontiers and especially sonic and how he kind of feels older in frontiers. i think that's been the general course since like colors or something when we got new VAs and writers but imo it kind of culminates in how he acts in frontiers y'know?

like sure part of it is bc sega removed roger from his limiters but also there's this contrast between how sonic acts now and how he acted especially in the adventure era. like adventure/heroes/shth sonic felt much more sincerely carefree and reckless, like a kid freshly turned 15 who didn't really have a scope of what the world could be like and the magnitude of the kind of stuff he was up against. he had had fantastical adventures in the genesis era sure but i think his approach to them bordered on not taking them as the serious occasions they were bc he was so young at the time, and it was just eggman and his robots. then we moved on to ancient deities and eldritch horrors and the tone is permanently altered.

and there's death now, and it personally affects him. maybe he didn't get to know shadow as deeply as rouge and even eggman, but they had an association forced upon them and they wound up fighting against each other and then together as one. maybe it's subtle but i think it does change sonic at the very end of last story, like some of that carefree attitude died that day. maybe his enthusiasm in heroes and shth is compensating for a part of him that he lost on the ARK.

06 has him experience another loss with elise, even if it could be fixed with time travel, but he had grown to really care about her. im not gonna go into the specifics of their relationship bc i have my own interpretations on it that aren't relevant but like that shit has to hurt, even if just a moment. it hammers in that there ARE stakes and they haven't gone anywhere, and just because one person had a miracle survival it doesn't mean sonic is guaranteed a happy ending. it's not that he loses hope or anything, but i'd imagine there is a voice at the back of his head that remembers it and forces him to keep up an appearance harder than before. and it's exactly what he does for the better half of unleashed. because he's a monster now! and maybe that monster thrives with the weight of the past. dark gaia is all about negative energy, and while it's a necessary part of life it can't be an easy burden to bear on the nightly. would sonic have to fight back those feelings harder than before? i doubt he would feel like he deserves to be that way, when he's supposed to keep his friends safe and save the world, because he's the only one who can.

i can't say i remember enough about satbk to fully take it into count here, but by then i think sonic would've been able to rediscover some of the hope that may have eroded. he would be in a better place post-unleashed, having faced parts of him that he had ignored before, and built himself more into the kind of person he'd like to be; free, maybe a little impulsive, but who ultimately follows their own sense of justice. i don't think he would've ever been considered "lawful good" or anything like that, but maybe he was somewhere close to that when he was younger, subscribing to the idea of a cosmic and righteous good and inherent evil. but that had to change when he learned the world wasn't that simple.

im brushing over colors/gens/lost world/forces here a bit, the first three didn't feel of substance to me and if anything forces was a showcase of keeping up the appearances for the others. but frontiers feels like this culmination of everything so far, and we get to observe sonic in isolation for the first time in a while. most other serious events in the past have had him work together with his friends, but they're only sort of present now, and it makes parts of the curtain drop especially as the game goes on. sonic hides and downplays the corruption because he has to be the carefree and courageous guy he's always been, even if it's been a few years and he's growing up and changing as he does. and he's experienced despair time and time again, and it's hurt, so he forces himself to cling to hope with everything he has now, even when his whole body is overcome by corruption and eating him like a ravenous organic beast. he's grown to care for the people around him much more than he maybe used to, to cherish life as long as it lasts, but it's hard to be the same bright-eyed hero everyone knows you as when you've seen what death looks like. he wants it to go away but it'll always remain, and colors the curtains he puts up so his brother and sister and rival don't have to worry about him.

i keep thinking about the opening lines of sonic adventure and ryan drummond's voice saying goofy 90s flavored lines, and i keep thinking about roger craig smith delivering sonic's lines in frontiers in a tone subtly deeper and different from his previous performances

[polyshipper-anon]

the council (my mutuals) has spoken, and they have agreed to my request to present a short piece of literature written by yours truly (they wanna see my villain monologue ajdhskdh)

now presenting:

the villain monologue i wrote spawned from my Good Pizza Great Pizza AU

tw: violence, death

context: my ovenist, Terry, has time powers

he can reset the day at any point (when he resets it goes back to the moment he woke up) but he cant go beyond a day

there are these things he calls ‘set in stone events’ where basically, no matter how many times he resets or how much he changes things, these events happen no matter what (ex. the initial rivalry with Alicante and all the times he’s visited the shop, meeting Plant Lady, the cult trials, PizzaCon, Nasir asking for help in taking down Bechamel, being picked to help investigate in Chapter 5)

resetting also takes energy out of him and when he resets a LOT he starts to get sick

this takes place after chapter 5, and everyone (the rivals, Dr Price, Plant Lady, Cicero, Octavia and Terry’s friends) is in his shop celebrating and hanging out but then suddenly the deep dish gang shows up

the gang causes some uh.. violence and like. kills some people there and Terry resets bc he doesnt want that to be permanent but unfortunately it is a set in stone event

there is a lot of resets and attempts in saving his friends, and in this iteration he is tired, a little sick, traumatized, and on the verge of a mental breakdown (i love him <33 thats why im putting him through pain <33)

because of some tragic backstory stuff before the events of GPGP, he snaps and like skillfully takes out all the deep dish gang members, saves the others and scares the hell out of everyone there, forces the gang members to huddle together in a corner and is like. holding them at gunpoint (he took one of their guns)

one of the members tries to attack him again while he’s distracted (talking to his friends) and then the member gets beat up again lmao

and like. Terry’s snapped and he shot the member in the leg and is stepping on his throat so he goes on a villain monologue to let out his hysteria otherwise he might kill somebody

so here is that monologue!! (this is more context than i realized akdhskhs) tell me what you think!!

“Anyone can choose violence in a fit of rage, can choose it when they are overcome with an emotion they can’t handle in any other way. It takes real skill and effort to choose violence as calmly as I do. Well… maybe not ‘calm’ per se, but… hmm… how do I say this…

Ah, I know.

It is not a fire or a storm or an earthquake or thunder and lightning that causes the violence. It is not a disaster that brings it about. There is no red in the sky and there are no screams ringing in your ears. There is no color except white and black with shadows of gray, and there is no sound except a silence that encompasses your whole being.

And you’re standing there, in that scene — in that moment. You’re looking at your hands, and you’re shaking, but at the same time, you are still. Unmoving. Stagnant. You can’t tell if your vision is blurring or if your body is truly as unsteady as it feels. Maybe it isn’t your body at all, it’s just your mind. All in your head.

And at first, you feel nothing. You see nothing. You hear nothing, except for the silence so loud it’s as if it is ringing in your ears. A silence so loud it weighs down on your empty body. You don’t move an inch. Your eyes widen. Nothing changes.

And it’s in that moment in which I choose violence. Bringing life and death and order and chaos into that stagnant and still image. Bringing meaning and emotion into that hollow shell of a person. That shell that was as still as a statue, and maybe it was a statue, but then I colored it and now it’s like they’re alive.

Painting the gray world with red and blue and yellow and with all the colors that could ever exist! Isn’t it so beautiful? Such a vibrant, vivid picture full of life and all that it encompasses and all that it implies. A shell now full of meaning and feeling, moving in every change and changing in every move.

I set the moment ablaze and the fire is the only warmth I have ever felt, all I will ever feel. The fire roars in red and the music plays over the screams and wails of the tortured — or perhaps, the wails and screams are the music. The storm is blue and gray and bright and loud, the bass line of the symphony of pain and anguish.

Isn’t it so wonderful? So amazing? Isn’t it just so beautiful, this violence?

Ah, but it’s not something vermin like you would ever understand. Your violence is mindless. It’s full of rage, but without the passion. It is not a fire that burns up everything in its path and falls back down in ashy embers. It is not a storm that thunders in your ears and strikes you with fear as the lightning grows more frequent and gets closer. It is not an earthquake that shakes you to your very core, an erratic and sudden change that knocks you off your feet.

Your violence doesn’t paint a beautiful picture or compose an epic symphony. It is more akin to… a bee sting. A sloppy punch, a shaky kick. A slap that stings, but only for a second. A moment that doesn’t last or leave much of an impact. A violence that is meaningless and artless and crude.

My violence is deep. Passionate, even. It wounds, it burns, it scars. It lasts for more than a moment, less than or equal to a lifetime. Yours is a violence that instills fear, but mine? It instills anxiety. Dread. A primal fear, or maybe even deeper than that. A violence so strong it hurts even me! It scares me. …maybe I’m the only one who’s afraid. The only who’s hurt.

But does that really matter now? No! It’s beautiful. It’s freeing. It’s destructive and bloody and red and loud and quiet and blue and yellow and it’s just so much of everything—!

My violence is the paint on an empty canvas, the music notes of a song, the life of a picture, the impact of words! It is a violence that hurts and it hurts forever.

My violence is the opposite of me, I think. The only good thing that I could ever do. The only good thing that could ever come out of me, and it’s inherently evil, haha! But it’s beautiful, isn’t it? It lasts forever, and I don’t. I don’t.

Your violence is cliché. Lifeless, sloppy, boring. Done to death. Meaningless, worthless. Just like you, actually. Just. Like. You.”

[stayxlix]

I've been saving off the deep end to read once I had a break between exams

BRUH THAT STORYYYYYYY!! Pls don't mind my analysis and play-by-play reactions😩

You're writing style is so good I love the descriptions and how you manage to make everything so vivid. District 7's description was so on point, I really like how I could visualize it.... The tavern, the roads, the forests, the people...

"Cold rings on his fingers pressed into bare skin" goodbye I'd fold so fast✋✋✋ like yes he's a stranger but BRO

"He hesitantly brought his thumb up to run it over your bottom lip," I- 😀

I'm barely 2k into this story and already feeling a scream creeping up my throat.

"Without another word or giving you the chance to respond, he turned to go." Now excuse me dear sir✋ Get your outer district ass back here👹

How are you gonna make out w/ me then just dip💀 survival ig but STILL

"....so many eyes on you, permanently associating you with your father and his regime," SO WELL WRITTEN UGH CHEF'S KISS

I love the mc (main character) so much. They've won my favour so fast, uncharacteristically so. This is the kind of 'y/n' that we need to see more often! The change, the hero.

"A life with him certainly wouldn't involve tight corsets and suffocating lies." How are we so sure about the latter sweetie👀

But mc is better than me I'd probably be going there (district 7) every night in hopes of seeing him. But the chances are low considering he was on the run😔 Rational thinking ftw I guess?

"He had probably already forgotten about you." NAURRR😭 (I could never be this mature... To admit this to myself in such a situation? Nope)

"...followed by the glass walls of the hall shattering to pieces around you." Ok THIS PART IN THE STORY✋ Loveeee the build up of tension. I feel like I'm there omg.

"six..seven..maybe eight figures dressed in all black with bandana...." OOOH👀👀👀 !!! STRAY KISS WOO

"a group of your father's guards run up and make contact with the boys, tossing a couple of them their own guns."😨 HUH? OMG WHAT???? Betrayal of the century purrr😻

"The boy who had kissed you in the alley two weeks ago." GOODBYE CBFNFNFBFV

I should've seen this coming butt I'm FLABBERGASTED

Let's goooo😩😩✋ Also thank you for making it brown hair Felix, like THANK YOU😋 (btw this ask is so long sorryyyy)

"You swear you saw the faintest hint of a smirk... " OFFICIALLY HOLLERING RN AARGHHHH

No bc I hope he kidnaps mc😘 and Jisoo ofc😻 let's go live in the trenches 😋

NO the guards ruined it😒 Can they duck off istg

"Were you protecting him? " Dgfhgkhmkdxnh

"You mouthed "go" and if you had blinked you would have missed the nod he gave you in return." I need a minute🤒 A longgggg minute to process this

"Why would the boys risk their lives to send a message? " THIS IS SUCH AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF SKZ HELP

Like that's LITERALLY THEM

"As far as he knew, you were just like the rest of them." Bro this story is INTENSE

On that more I will be leaving for now, I need to eat and process this story before continuing it is so bloody good

Again, I'm so sorry for how long this is

omg so i just want to start by saying that from the bottom of my heart i am so touched by this. i seriously think i re-read it at least 7 times and i can’t even begin to express how much it means to me that you took the time out of your day to go through and immerse yourself into the story the way you did.😭💕 the play-by-play literally had me giggling to myself like a CHILD lmao you’re actually so funny like i wish i could hire you to narrate my life.😂

this is the first/only fic i’ve ever written and you complimented some of the parts i was most insecure about without even knowing it and i just. thank you.🥹💕 like your comment about the mc i could actually cry. and it’s always nice to find another dark hair felix stan because as much as i love the blonde (and i really do) i just couldn’t imagine him any other way here.

please don’t ever feel the need to apologize for how much you write this is what i LIVE for and it gives me so much motivation to continue the story. you could write an entire novel and i would happily sit down and read every single word.😊 i hope you got something good to eat (and that your exams went well) and i hope the rest of your day/night has been just as good as this made mine.💕💕💕

[nathank77]

4/12/24

3:55 a.m

I'm feeling like a loser. Idk, I mean what do I have to offer anyone? I'm a mentally ill loser on disability. I mean i don't know. I feel like a lost cause. Sometimes I'm like why am I trying so hard. I mean I do want to try bc I love myself despite being a nerd.

I just can't imagine anyone seeing anything in me.

I worry since there may be a chance Elise is here. I mean she knows I hear a voice. That I can't even sleep without drugs. I mean I'm on benzodiazepines. When we stopped talking I was normal. I mean sorta. I was broken. And poor. But I was much more mentally healthy.

Now I'm a hot mess who tries really hard.

I judge myself harshly. I wish I had known I was hallucinating before it became chronic. Sometimes I think it's going to be like this for life. And idk if she has feelings for me. I do think she does but idk. I just want her in my life.

Either way I'm embarrassed of how I turned out. What happened to me. How my life went and what I went through. I need to focus on how hard I'm trying and how much I've fought to get to where I am.

It's hard sometimes cause I also see the wreckage, I hear the wreckage. I don't feel intelligent for not knowing I was hallucinating. I feel like microsleep broke my brain too. I'm almost out of CBD.

I have all these feelings and i can't truly cope bc I don't stop hallucinating. Idk.

I love myself, I know Elise would never see me differently bc of this. I wish I didn't see myself differently. I try very hard to be like look at what a fighter you are.

And sometimes I just see the word psychotic and nerd and useless and you're never going to be a dad or be apart of anyone's family but your own broken family.

I know I'm just feeling down bc my ocd was bad today, I can't say happy birthday to Elise or happy mothers day. And I want to be able to say that to her at least.

I am constantly worried about my glasses and I'm stick of stressing about money and my sight.

I mean and I'm worried about the heart palpitations, the panic attacks, the stigma, what if bc I asked for hydroxyzine for my allergies she perscribed a placebo for Xanax. Cause I really can't sleep without it.

I worry I'll never stop hallucinating or get out of this hole.

I am going to keep fighting. I love myself but sometimes I look at myself and I'm like you could have saved yourself, you're so smart, how did you not realize hearing a voice was hallucinating? You're not as smart as you think you are. What if microsleep and psychosis permanently broke your brain? No one has to know but I'll always know. I'm always worried. I'm always worried that this is forever.

No matter what I'm going to keep going. I just got to tackle one problem at a time and keep hoping for silence. I'm trying to forgive myself. That's the hardest part. Kristen is def to blame but I know I abused cannabis. I know I have accountability. I know i was stupid. She should have stepped in and been like wait you hear a voice? But nonetheless, why didn't I realize it? I'm so knowledgeable about the subject and I was prior to this happening.

I can beat this aka I can keep going and trying and I'll always love myself even if all I see is a geeky nerd in the mirror but I'll always feel like why wasn't I smarter?

Why didn't I save myself? Why didn't know I was hallucinating? Why didn't I stop abusing weed? Why didn't Kristen say anything? Why didn't I go wtf?

Idk. It's something I talk about a lot in therapy. How I can keep fighting but I may have auditory hallucinations and be labeled as psychotic until the day I die. Thats the sad part. And I'd be stupid to not take my accountability in it.

Kristen has more accountability as a professional that I reported my symptoms to but, why wasn't I more intelligent? I don't get it and it's caused trauma, ptsd, panic attacks, insomnia, worsen ocd.

I want to quit cigarettes, I want to start smoking weed again and stop benzodiazepine. I want sleep on weed and Benadryl again.

I want to claw out of this hole but- what If this is it? What if this is as good as it gets? What if this is my life permanently? All bc I had a negligent therapist and I was too stupid to realize I could have saved myself?

I had two months- Two months I hallucinated for a couple hours a night and it stopped. Why didn't I realize it and stop?

[remcycl333]

ilysm rem but i hate that mindset.

you gotta remember that some of us are living in pure shit. it’s normal & completely okay to want it to work instantly. honestly, “no matter how long it takes” some of us don want to waste anymore time on bs. for example, if my house is tearing down. hell yeah i’ll want it fixed tomorrow or i’ll be upset LMAO. i understand it’s supposed to motivate us by saying that but in all truth, it’s probably discouraging a lot of people (im not saying you should change or you’re doing anything wrong but try to see it from other peoples perspective of not wanting to wait. i feel like everyone should understand that in this community. eventually, it can be tiring) if we can’t have it when we want, what’s the point of all of this?? we are god so why settle for waiting for it to show up? why wait no matter how long it takes? nobody wants to wait a long ass time. some situations are too toxic for this waiting. i’m not sure. it’s just been so many blogs saying we can manifest instantly but then tell us just wait no matter how long it takes to be in the 3d. or that we need to do a certain thing. ofc we’ll still want our dream life, that’s why we’re here. but we’re also here to get it quickly. everyone says the 3d doesn’t matter but it does. thats where we want. we want that shit in our 4d but also the 3d too. if it’s not there, what is the point? literally.💀 that’s the problem i’m having learning about the law. it seems like a waiting game for the 3d.

so yeah, we want our desire no matter what but it’s also okay to want it now or we get frustrated. idk anybody who would want to wait. it makes sense for everyone to want it instantly and not take forever. maybe we just think differently about it idk.

i get where you are coming from and trust me, i am no stranger to toxic abusive households and situations. i empathize with you all 100%. the reason i say stuff like that is bc either you persist in the law and see changes in your 3D, or you don't and you stay in the same dangerous/scary/bad situations. if you have resources in your 3D to help yourself out of toxic situations, utilize them!! that is not the same as "ignoring the 3D"/messing with the 3D at all!! but if you don't and loa is your only hope, the reason i say not to care about how much time it is taking etc is because those thoughts are what is prolonging your manifestation from getting here. the second you think "it's not here yet wtf but its been x amount of time" your subconscious mind goes "so true bestie its not here yet." that's the reason we say not to care about time. i know it's hard, but if the only way to save yourself from a toxic situation is to use the loa and essentially think your way out, you have to discipline your mind and put in the effort.

something i think a lot of people don't understand is that thinking positively and affirming and cutting out negative thoughts does not pose any risk to you at all. i know that it can feel comforting to keep your focus on the situation and you feel like it'll all come crumbling down if you take your attention off of it, but that's not true. it takes bravery to be able to give you're all into loa. applying the law will only help you, not harm you.

also when we say the 3D doesn't matter, we mean that the circumstances in your 3D that are telling you you don't have your manifestation, that it will never come, that it's impossible, etc, don't matter. of course we all want our manifestations in the 3D, that's why we do all of this!! but when it shows you something you don't like you have to ignore it bc it is going to change and your current circumstances aren't permanent!!

yes, obviously we all want our desires instantly, but to not try to manifest unless it will manifest instantly? that's like if someone offered you one million dollars but it wouldn't be deposited into your bank until the end of the week and you said well nevermind i dont want it anymore then.

ofc you can manifest instantly, but i've noticed over time throughout my journey that my manifestations come so much quicker when i stop obsessing over the time and trying to make it come faster. don't add unnecessary resistance to your manifestations!!

do not waste your power. if you dont want to "wait a long ass time" discipline your mind and apply what we are telling you and stop complaining. the law is 100% real, most of you just aren't willing to deviate from your comfortable thought patterns. whether or you not get your shit is up to you and only you. there's nothing i can say or do that'll help you unless you're willing to apply it.

[miqojak]

I - and I'm not exaggerating - and every friend I've brought to this game (XIV) have been so severely sexually harassed (either openly or via DMs) that we've all quit. I'm the only one willing to come back to XIV (at least two of them said fuck it and gave up houses they won before the lotto change, too) - and these are RP friends I've had for a decade, some of them, and they're so scarred from being so badly and so frequently sexually harassed in XIV that they don't RP at all in any game, anymore (my gay roommate had to take 'gay' out of his OC info to get people to stop whispering him things that amounted to molestation - no one should have to hide their identity to avoid unwanted harassment of any kind).

The only people to reach out to me over the 4 years I've played - besides about 6 people who actually just wanted to write story? - have all been grotesque attempts to convince me to change my sex-repulsed character's mind. Jak was a prisoner in a nazi internment camp and came out riddled with trauma, and people would still - even knowing this - insist she suddenly not have trauma so she'd screw them... and then ghost me when they couldn't force me/the oc to ERP.

At the end of the day, idgaf what people do with their time. I just don't consent to having it forced on me. I'm as much a perv as anyone, and know my shit in the D/s community, etc. And no means no. You also don't walk up and whisper-emote touching someone intimately without their permission. You don't keep pushing for ERP when someone makes it clear they don't want it.

People need to be open and clear in what they're seeking from RP - or it not only wastes everyone's time, but causes legitimate permanent harm. I no longer reach out or even attend public events because of how prevalent this sort of thing is (if I'm just going to be pressured to have sex, and be ghosted if I don't, why try? Which is exactly what my friends who have given up tell me, too). I had to shut my Yakuza fc down because no matter how hard I tried to run a cohesive, intricate, overarching plot that included my members...people only joined to hit on hot criminals and try to get in bed with them, then they would quit within a month or two if they didn't get erp (usually with myself or the other leader, my irl partner, lmao).

I had someone in WoW reach out while I was just questing recently and mentioned he does like ERP, but not just ERP. I stated that it's not my primary interest, but as part of a story I don't mind it. I didn't judge him at all! Kinks are all weird, and sex is part of life. Some of us want it all the time, some want it never, some can't feel that way without knowing you intimately! So if someone treats you weird for just being honest? Block them, and move on with life - because for me, my number one complaint is how many people have led me on bc they wanted ERP, but 3 scenes in they ghost because they got none - and if they'd just TOLD me that to begin with, I could have saved us both from embarrassment and feeling like shit. I've been ghosted this way so many times in XIV, even, it's made me feel like that's all Jak must be to people...a hole. A sex object. Just a piece of meat to be penetrated. And if she doesn't present herself as such, she's thrown away like garbage.

Just be honest and direct with RP partners - you're not the bad person for being honest. The one being a judgy puritan prick is the a-hole.

I leave my opinions here because I so rarely check Twitter these days and go to bed.