#AT LEAST. we're not the only fucked up ones
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SFW Headcanons — E. Campbell

Pairing: Erik Campbell X Reader (romantic, gender-neutral).
Media: Final Destination Bloodlines.
Content Warning(s): Tattoos and piercings, Erik being a really good significant other, mentions of alcohol and drug use (marijuana).
(Author's Note: That's it, you guys are actually fucking nuts [but in the best way]! We're almost at 200 hits on the NSFW headcanons for Erik, and I couldn't be more grateful that you guys love them! Since you guys enjoy those so much, I have SFW headcanons that I hope you guys will like)!

You know how people can look at someone and think, 'That's the person I'm going to marry?'
Erik didn't do that, instead he thought, 'That's the person I'm making a playlist for.'
If there's a six love language, it's making a playlist for someone.
With that being said, Erik's love language is either physical touch or gift giving.
He's never going to admit it, but he's clingy and needs a hand on you at all times.
Arm wrapped around your shoulders, chin resting on your head or shoulder, hand on your ass.
He won't admit it, but he turns into mush when you trace his tattoos.
The action make him feel so loved, especially because he probably got some of them and regrets them.
If you have tattoos, scars, anything that can be considered "imperfections," he's tracing them and committing them to memory.
On a scale of one to ten, PDA is past ten and broke through the ceiling.
Erik's not afraid to touch and kiss you in public. He's so proud that he's dating you and he wants to brag about it in any way he can.
Of course, if you aren't comfortable with PDA, he's going to dial it back.
You wouldn't expect it, but he's a gentleman. Behind that cold and tatted exterior is a guy who knows his manners.
He's not doing the whole nine yards, but he's holding the door open for you and is making sure you're comfortable.
He gives small gifts; tattoo artists don't make a lot of money, so he's working with what he's got.
He's making a playlist for you because you liked a few of his songs, he took you out to the park because you mentioned one time that it's beautiful this time of year, he got you that thing you saw window shopping because it reminded you of a nostalgic memory.
He's not giving you high-end gifts, but he's making sure the gifts are meaningful.
I'm only 200% sure that Erik knows how to burn CDs and make cassette tapes, so expect physical media to be given to you at random.
Off topic, but Erik prefers physical media over digital.
Guys, I know this is gonna be controversial, but he won't get your name tattooed.
He's an idiot, but not that much of an idiot. However, he will get something related to you tattooed. Favorite flower, bird, obscure movie you really like? Bzzzzz (that's the sound of the tattoo gun).
Will get a piercing if you said he would look good with it. Remember that off-handed comment you said about how a tongue piercing would suit him? Guess what he got the next day.
He's more than happy to give you a tattoo or piercing you want. Seriously, he will spend all day sketching a design that he's not going to stop on until it's absolutely perfect.
After the stencil is done, his attention is solely on you and getting the tattoo done, even if it means losing clients.
He's gonna make sure the piercing you want is perfectly lined up and suits your anatomy. You'd think he was a surgeon with how precise he is.
Erik drinks socially, but he smokes recreationally.
If he's with friends or family, he'll have a beer or two, but he won't drink if it's just him.
Weed is different, however. He will smoke it regardless of social setting.
Of course, Erik will always ask you if he can smoke beforehand. He knows that it smells terrible, and would rather go a few hours without a hit than be an asshole and stink up the entire place.
And if you don't want him to smoke at least in the house, he won't even go outside to smoke. Weed smells terrible and sticks to you like white on rice, so he's not going to bring it back in the house.
How does Libby know this? Hehehehe- Don't do drugs.
I just had a thought: Erik X Weed Dealer (Y/N). It's just an idea, buuuuuut-
Oh yeah, asshole exterior? Completely gone when with you. Doesn't even try to keep his exterior to save face, the only opinion he cares about is yours.
He's jealous of himself that he pulled you, so you're damn right he's gonna make sure that you and everyone knows. He's also so proud of you for existing, and as much as people around him won't believe, his true and authentic self is around you.

(Author's Note: So, thank you all so much for the reblogs and likes on the NSFW headcanons. That was my first time writing in-depth smut, and it got such a good reception that I was inspired to write SFW headcanons! My requests are open for headcanons, so if you guys want to see more specific headcanons, let me know! I don't know if this interests anybody, but I just got a Volkswagen Beetle named Murphy [if you can guess who it's named after, I love you] and he only had a cassette and CD player. That came to be the inspiration for Erik making you CDs and cassette tapes, because I would like Erik to make me a mixtape for my car.
Signing off for now,
-Libby)
#final destination#final destination 6#final destination bloodlines#erik campbell#erik campbell x reader#erik campbell headcanons#erik campbell x you#richard harmon
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okay but also re: deltarune ch4 weird route, can we talk about whatever the fuck is going on psychically here?
like, a friend and i have been talking for a while about how ralsei loves to initiate susie cutscenes by just suggesting to kris that they close their eyes and think about susie, which like. one time that can come across as a narrative mechanism. when you use it this many times, and when ralsei really doesn't like when you say no to those suggestions, it makes you wonder what is actually physically happening there
and on my first (normal) playthrough of chapter 4, i was willing to chalk that up as a, okay ralsei knows EXACTLY what is happening in that cutscene due to the prophecy being a lot more detailed than we thought it was. and we do see that in other places (like ralsei is acting like a time loop protagonist at this point, im thinking in particular about once you get all the pieces to open the way to the gerson fight and susie's like 'did anyone hear that noise?' and ralsei goes 'sounded like a fireplace opening up!' and she's just like okay that was extremely specific)
but having more knowledge than you should isn't just a ralsei exclusive. because the weird route proves that we can hear noelle's thoughts? i always thought she was talking to herself when doing snowgrave back in ch2, but no, this route she makes it very clear by testing us that she is not saying those things out loud - we just have way more access to her mind than we do the other characters
and then you get to the culmination and the combination of the two - when ralsei in ch4 weird route tries to initiate the cutscene where susie goes and writes the music notes down
if you go along with ralsei setting up that cutscene then it happens as normal. if you say no, ralsei gets very off balance and tries to initiate it again. if you still say no a second time, then you get the option to think about someone else instead. if you pick noelle, then you get an extended cutscene of a black screen with a single red pixel moving slowly about the screen (worth noting - while the visuals representing you forcing the thorn ring back on are now a red web like shattered glass, according to the wiki in an earlier version of the game the visual for that was a single red pixel on a black screen)
and then after however long it takes doing that, there's some text that very slowly types out "thank you", before the entire screen flashes red and you get thrown back into the sanctuary with susie trying to wake you up - apparently she found kris just standing there with their eyes closed, then (presumably when the thank you happened) they started breathing really heavily and just passed out
(and ralsei was off somewhere doing god knows what for that time)
like. we do not have answers for what is up with noelle, what ralsei's still hiding, what carol holiday has to do with kris' whole soul situation, but we're getting to the point where susie is the only person left who hasn't experienced at least some weird psychic phenomena, and im fascinated to see what the deal is with all this
#deltarune#deltarune spoilers#deltarune chapter 4#deltarune weird route#kris dreemurr#ralsei#noelle holiday#susie
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For those who want to go into the release of Life completely blind I'm going to be putting this under a cut.
For everyone else welcome back- Well more like welcome to victory lap number 002 edition! Yeah it happened with Haruka and it's happening again with Yuno.
I love to see it, honestly. So, let's take a second to discuss the thumbnail art and the highlighted line in the video description.
If you're wondering, yes, it feels good to be proven right again and again, actually-
“LIFE, I wanted you to care enough to Tear and Drop me.”
November 14, 2022
"Or even the actual meaning of Tear Drop being to tear and drop something."
Thanks me of 2022.
See it does pay to just read. It simply does. It pays to read and honestly engage with something just for the love of it. Because whenever anybody really gets into something and pushes their ego to the side for the sake of it- That thing will reward them in kind.
I feel rewarded right now!
Because this establishes that I was right Yuno was actually trying to kill me because I knew too much. I knew it was too fucking weird to get an unidentifiable respiratory virus on the first day of Lifes release month. I thought I was simply unlucky.
Oh so typical me I said at first but no! She tried to kill me for knowing the truth- This was her attempt to do, do me like this. She tried to cut my umbilical cable- She tried to take my oxygen away.
This is the evidence if I die before this song comes out Yuno got me she won. Vote her innocent anyway because that'd be fucking funny actually. Impressive too.
Okay all joking aside because I have to say that was a joke. I don't actually think Yuno is trying to kill me just really funny timing. But I do like being proven right other times I've said this include,
November 11, 2024
"Plus, she's paired with the guy known to have literally killed a child himself. Then as I've brought up numerous times before... Her second song as is called Tear Drop. Tear as in to rip something up or out and drop as in to discard."
A post that has one of my favorite jokes in it,
"Oh, come on Gunsli- Are we so hard up for content in these trying times that we're falling back on theories from the very beginning of the series. Are you saying that Yuno threw a kid over a balcony. Like, "Oh, please?! Give me that baby and I'd yeet it off a tower." I have no stake in this I'm choosing my peace. Don't shoot the messenger. I am simply saying there's a mountain of implications for this being the case. A mountain that has only grown larger over the course of Milgram."
Even if you don't read it at least know this joke. Because each time I see this clip I think of Yuno now and I'm trying to spread the association. My point is this is something I've said consistently and you know I gotta link the big post on Yuno even though it isn't mentioned there.
Simply for the image @apatchworkstar made,
The Big Yuno Post (that links to other ones) as well as My Thoughts on The Life Trailer (This is when Yuno started trying to kill me. This is when her machinations started. She heard me say this in Milgram and went this bitch has to go. Still joking by the way.)
Well with that out of the way let's get into the meat of things. Firstly let's look at all of Yuno's thumbnails over the course of Milgram all together.
Now the first thing I notices about the thumbnail that made me go these need to be lined up side by side was that the lighting and coloring was warmer than her previous ones.
Throughout Yuno's songs the lighting has stayed incredibly artificial lacking the warm tinges of yellow and orange usually associated with natural lighting. Such as sunlight. Instead her songs have used fluorescent lighting and neon in the visuals predominantly.
Oh yeah before I forget here are all the links for every thumbnail of Yuno's that @doctorbunny dug up for me,
Umbilical Tear Drop Life
Thanks again for that! As I was saying Yuno's previous videos go out of there way to avoid putting her in warm lighting. This coloring choice was more than likely done to allude to her cold and distant nature. Now that we've reached the melting temperature the lighting in her music video has changed to reflect this.
A lot of people might be quick to jump on the idea that this is due solely Mahiru and the impact her life as well as untimely passing had on Yuno. However, natural lighting has been attempting to break into Yuno's videos from the beginning.
This is alluded to in a few ways withing Umbilical and Tear Drop,
Umbilical
Firstly there's the image with the umbrella shading her during her one of her outings which I've provided above already. Then there's the fact that during other outings sunlight can be seen trying to break through most noticeable in the images provided together below.
Tear Drop
In Tear Drop the warm lighting becomes more subtle as Yuno tries to further distance herself from this situation. However warm natural light can be seen attempting to funnel it's way in through the ceiling during parts of the song. Again visible in the images provided below but it may be easier to spot in the video itself at 1:07s.
Though this may be a personal bias of mine since I'm against framing it as though one individual within Milgram was solely responsible for this change within Yuno. Since it is clear to me that her interactions with everyone here is what elicited this change.
Especially given her past statements on her experiences within Milgram.
Relative Zero 1:05s
It's about the few days you've been tried as a prisoner by Milgram. Frankly speaking, how is it? Your LIFE in prison.
"Hmm, it's surprisingly fun? I do have worries about how my family is doing, but... It's kinda like one of those strange personal experiences."
Fun...is it?
"That's right. The other prisoners are ALL entertaining, WE sound each other out on various things, and the vibes pretty nice as well. In such conditions observing other people sure does make for great fun, you feel?"
Yuno.
"Yes?"
You're far too relaxed. I said it was an interrogation, didn't I?
(-273.15°C) 0:51s
Hm. That's a pretty uncooperative attitude.
"I suppose so. I just kinda lost interest, you know."
Regardless of if you are interested or not, I am just going to do my job.
"Job...huh. Hey, how is it? This chaotic situation you wrought with that splendid job of yours? Is it fun?"
What are you trying to say?
"Are you personally satisfied? I mean, having forgiven and not forgiven- The inside of this prison is like this now."
SOURCE
You mean the conflicts between the prisoners.
"Yep! Kotoko-san, who you forgave, went super violent, and then injured people came rolling in one after the other!"
"But, I must say, the current situation within this prison is directly influenced by the fact that she was once found “innocent”."
You mean Mahiru and Futa. That was an incident even I had not expected.
"Really? If you aske me, Kotoko is someone I would never want to make my friend, though."
"Yes… it seems like she thinks she’s acting as your deputy. What a lovely associate you’ve got yourself."
If Kotoko has zero haters Jackalope and Yuno have died mysteriously. They are just no longer alive. If she has two haters it's them. They are bonded through their shared disdain of this woman in particular. They are united in throwing shade and scrutiny upon her. They said fuck this bitch on some real shit.
Yuno really went in her trial two voice drama- Really you didn't expect her of all people to do that... Are you stupid? Are you dumb, is that it? Did you not see or talk to her? What the fuck were you expecting? It was funny then and is still funny now.
"She's the type who picks a conclusion from the very beginning and won't actually talk with you."
Hm. (Es caught Yuno shading them here. They caught that shit- They were like she's talking about me. Yes she fucking is.)
"Well, I guess it's arbitrary who one gets along with. But Mahiru-san in particular is something. I think both her body and mind are at their limits. Also, Mikoto-san was also attacked but apparently it ended in a draw. That guy was strong, huh- how unexpected. Also Haruka and Mu-chan have become kind of bothersome. Ahh, and additionally Amane-chan and Shidou-san too, huh."
Amane and Shidou?
"Well, it's like they're the total opposite of Haruka and Mu-chan. It's quite a considerable thing, so please go ahead and confirm it for yourself."
So that's also an effect of the first hearings results.
"Well, if I were to say what I'm trying to say... It's fucking bothersome."
"So nauseating...so creepy...will you please disappear."
...
"I said so at the start didn't I? That punishing people outside of the law is boundless. And so I had no interest in Milgram."
Yes, I remember. You said that you would pay my judgment no mind and remain as you were.
"Ooh! That's right! I'm happy you remembered! But, you know-"
"I didn't exactly hate it, MILGRAM."
"It's nothing but weird people, but-"

"It was warmer than my day-to-day LIFE."

"People died. Some murderers died. Up until now, I wouldn’t have thought anything more of it. I guess we spent too much time together."
Q.28 How do you decide what clothes to wear for the day?
"I pick something to match with the person I’ll be with."

"The other prisoners are all entertaining, we sound each other out on various things, and the vibes pretty nice as well."
This is why when I saw the thumbnail I immediately went,
Something I still stand by now. Even though I had literally woken up a minute prior to seeing the thumbnail and then saying this.
But yeah I think the outfit she's wearing in her trial three thumbnail art makes a lot of purposeful allusions to her prisoner uniform particularly the restraints.
Having the shoulder straps, the choker around the collar of the turtleneck, as well as the black part around her hips exactly where the belt belt part of the restraints are when she is in uniform.
All these details to me clearly call back to her prisoners uniform restraints. Something that makes me believe that Life will be delving into her life within Milgram more. Something that further cements this for me is the fact that the thumbnail is of short hair Yuno.
Yuno in the present tense.
It's not Yuno from a past instance as it has been with all of her thumbnails prior. It's of her now in this moment and possibly what she could be after this,
24/09/02 (Yuno’s Birthday)
Shidou: Thank you for your assistance with Shiina-kun’s treatment. It’s been a big help having you here. Both for her and for me. It’s good to know that even if something happens to me, you’ll still be around. Yuno: No way. I can’t do anything on my own. All I’m doing is helping with whatever you’re doing. It’s just like playing pretend as a nurse. Shidou: No, you’ve got a good sense for things like this. You’re quick to notice things, calm, and fearless. If you haven’t decided what you want to be in the future, maybe you should consider becoming a doctor yourself. Yuno: You think so? ……haha, stop it. I don’t want to be thinking about the future right now. And for someone like me to have other people’s lives in my hands…… that’s no laughing matter.
Q.24 What’s your dream for the future?
Yuno: It’d be nice if I can find a job I can really lose myself in.
"I don’t want to be thinking about the future right now. And for someone like me to have other people’s lives in my hands…… that’s no laughing matter."
Outside of all of that it is just once again nice to have confirmation that I was right. It's fun to do analysis and theorize of course. It's not all about having the text go kudos to you, you read us well, you were right. Though it does feel really fucking good for it do that.
Oh, one other thing. So, I was wrong about something I thought that the chorus in Life would be the lines in trailer then end with the line on the cd case like,
LIFE, it can’t be ok that I’m the one who survived. LIFE, I thought only of me, and aborted you. LIFE, I wanted you to care enough to scold me and tell me I was wrong, damn you.
But I now think I was wrong about this given the highlighted lyric in the description. Since the previous highlighted lyrics for Yuno's songs have been the final lyrics of the chorus.
Umbilical
Just the two of us, I feel a little tingle inside. Our love links us together Just me alone, the warmth starts fading away. Let’s reload the warmth.
Tear Drop
If you want “me”, come marco, I’ll polo. Let’s just do it, please smile? Hooked up till the morning to this sweet “Umbilical Cable”. Let’s just do it, please smile?
I think the last lyric of this chorus will be the highlighted one as well,
It may have a fourth line in between the three we've been given so far just like the other ones did but it just seems like a mouthful and redundant to go,
LIFE, it can't be ok that I'm the one who survived. LIFE, I thought only of me, and aborted you. LIFE, I wanted you to care enough to scold me and tell me I was wrong, damn you. LIFE, I wanted you to care enough to Tear and Drop me.
It just doesn't flow well read out that way and the damn you at the end makes it read more like a closing remark made before a shift in tone of the song or at the dead end of it. At this point I genuinely think that this line isn't connected to the chorus but it very well could be.
I'm more leaning towards it being what the song closes out on. The possible ending line of the chorus is still Yuno being coy.
LIFE, it can't be ok that I'm the one who survived. LIFE, I thought only of me, and aborted you. LIFE, I wanted you to care enough to Tear and Drop me.
Saying what she wants without really saying it flat out. This is in stark contrast to the line on the CD cover that's just her expressly stating what she wanted and upset at not getting it.
LIFE, I wanted you to care enough to scold me and tell me I was wrong, damn you.
Since the chorus is still discussing the issue in an evasive manner it feels like the line above is more being built up to. As though its more of a play on the chorus than connected to it.
Now I really think that's everything nothing else to do but wait for things to release in due course.
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face value
#it's autism torment hours for cloud strife (featuring Projection™️)#everybody just assumes the worst about cloud the moment they meet him.#i think all the time about the 'be nice!' -> 'i'm doing my best :(' thing from remake. like. all he did was answer a fucking question.#it burns because i know EXACTLY what it's like to be on the receiving end of that. 'don't be rude!' i wasn't planning on it but ok i guess?#and people getting mad because they assumed i meant something completely different than what i said.#how many times have i asked 'hey when are we leaving' (so i know when we're leaving. god forbid)#only for them to hear 'WAAA WAAAAAAA HURRY UP!!!!!!! I WANNA LEAVE RIGHT NOWWWWW UGGHHHHHH'#like ???????????#we're speaking the same language right??? RIGHT????????#cloud listen bby. just know that i'm always here for you. even if no one else got ur back.#ok i'm better now. at least until the next easily avoidable stupid misunderstanding#ffvii#cloud strife#my art <3
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For the haunted au I had an devilish little thought. Has Optimus ever had a really bad time and when the primes try to give him advice he just shouts "you guy's FAILED!" Like for all their wisdom they couldn't beat the quintisons or see Sentinels betrayal coming?
He feels bad but in his spark he wishes HE didn't have to do what THEY couldn't.
absolutely evil thought that was inflicted upon me months ago and that i finally get to inflict upon the rest of y'all OTL
i can see it happening with the caveat that he immediately regrets saying it. but it's too late. it's the kind of thing you say in the heat of the moment and then feel the ground drop under your feet because you never meant to say it out loud. but now it's out there and you can never unsay it.
it's just. a bad situation all around :(
haunted au
#hey i got an ask#lvinvint#transformers#transformers one#maccadams#optimus prime#zeta prime#haunted au#my art#absolutely delightful ask i loved it thank you so much for sending it!!!!!#and as you can see i've been hoarding it for fucking months just so i could make art for it aksjhdka#sorry this took me extra long i don't have an excuse i've been. doing bad :)#but it's fine we're all cool#ANYWAY i don't think OP totally means what he said#at least. not the way he said it.#i think it was his anger and frustration twisting up insecurities he has of himself and exploding on this defensiveness#this however doesn't mean there's not a part of him that's bitter they expect him to succeed at something they couldn't#there were thirteen of them and there's only one of him and they had several millions of years of experience that he doesn't#so how is he supposed to fix something they weren't capable of fixing by themselves#he's terrified of his odds#and them ganging up on him to point out his flaws (which. if you'll notice is mostly just them being terrified to the point of anger#for his safety) just brings up all those ugly feelings and turns them into anger#again! bad situation all around! no one is happy here!#i'll fix it. maybe :)#tf one
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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when ur local artist mutual starts the 'This Time i really have lost the ability to do my art and it's Not coming back' that is of course untrue and it will come back and their insecurity is getting the better of them etc etc. not me tho i really have lost it forever
#WHY AM I NOT WRITING ATMMMM 😭 literally gave myself all these deadlines in may#bc even when my writer's block is super bad the one thing that's always shifted it for some reason#is giving myself some bullshit deadline that only i gaf about like it ALWAYS works#and yet here i am. may 23rd no tams no dog teeth no taob no tbos i have NOTHING#and i have no URGE to write either like normally i at least WANT TO and the words just don't come#but for the past few weeks ive honestly just been preferring to do other shit#and not even productive shit. i fr just sit on tiktok or watch shitty romcoms or nap#im not doing ANYTHING with my time if im not at work or getting drunk#like i read tihylttw ig. that was good. go girl you read a book. now what. NOW WHATTT#there's no PASSION there's no motivation to do more i am so so fucking apathetic and im losing so much time to it#this entire year has gone over my head it's nearly june we're nearly halfway in and i have NOTHING to show for it#what am i DOING. shaking myself by the shoulders you are under a SPELL you need to WAKE UP you need to LOCK IN#what the fuck is wrong with me. if i cant write i have nothing i am nothing im no one that's all i have. where is it#where is it where is it where is it WHERE IS IT WHERE IS IT WHERE IS IT WHERE IS IT#delete later
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THE BACKPEDALING, THE BACKPEDALING AAAAAAAAAAA

a) mafi trying to disown the plot SHE WROTE is kinda hilarious, I'm not gonna lie.
b) i was saying it from the very beginning: andersette would be too powerful together that's why mafi had to make them both stupid af to make that shitty ending happen lol.
*power of love my ass*
c) 'we'd be all puppets of the RE'...
first of all, BITCH WHO'S WE????????????
second of all, bold of kenji to assume re would even exist. anderson would literally burn that shit to the ground to protect juliette (and also because everyone there is fucking annoying).
and last but not least, what all of you would be is fucking dead.
p.s.: btw, 'i hate this story' so like... are they just regularly sit around and talk about it? why even bring it up? it's been ten years, daddy dearest is long dead. let it go.
#that one ahs meme but 'there will be no reestablishment you stupid slut'#mafi was at her best when she was writing anderson and his fucked up relationships with the people he loveshates#he's like spices: automatically makes things BETTER#scenes in defy me were so good they made me CARE ABOUT WARNER#and when i say the andersette scenes were the only readable parts of imagine me I MEAN IT#he should've had at least one convo with adam I WAS ROBBED#and while we're at it#warner and his never-ending pity party#*rolls eyes* what else is new#he really had no character development since believe me lol#imagine me#watch me#aaron warner#james kent#paris anderson#shatter me series
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sometimes i wonder if i'm being harsh when i say cis people are weird and then i remember that my (now very ex) best friend genuinely seemed to think i could just therapy my way out of being trans
#bro thought he was the best ally in the world bc he watches drag race and had a non-binary gremlin (me) for a best friend#while at the same time jumping through hoops to misunderstand everything i told him about trans ppl#it was like he didn't want to get it#and i made excuses for him the whole time like “oh it's a new concept to you but you'll get it eventually��#“you're just a little guy who's still learning” FUCK THAT you are a grown man#and in this day and age i think it should be common knowledge that if your best friend is trans#you should at least try to take them seriously when they talk about being trans#rather than pathologising everything they do or laughing at them#my dysphoria isn't going to go away if i talk to a therapist about it#it'll only go away if ppl stop fucking misgendering me#and if even my best friend is misgendering me then the dysphoria ain't going away any time soon#bit of a vent#i got pent-up rage bc i haven't actually been able to talk to him about this and i really want to but we're not on speaking terms rn#and knowing him he'd probably just twist everything i say and make me look like the unreasonable one#he had an unfortunate habit of treating me like i was batshit insane just for doing something he didn't completely understand#which has convinced me that maybe i am batshit insane#thanks for contributing to the downwards spiral of my mental health you fucking prick! :)
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hashtag voted
voted all the makabayan ppl plus the independents, ik they wont win against the duterte worshippers but heres to hoping im proven wrong
#mine.txt#dont throw away your vote blah blah blah all except two parties (one of which seems to be absent this year) are right wingers#also anyone who looks up pdp-laban dont be fooled by the wiki page those mfers are left wing in theoretical policies only#in action theyre fully right wing; populist sure but the right wing version of it#and for the sections where it was all right wingers i went with the ones who are closer to the center hashtag democracy#mainly lakas cause their policies may be. ngl kinda weird. theyre at least willing to negotiate with muslim communists#also theyre gunning for a parliamentary system which i support#fucking sick of presidents bro we're too much of an archipelago for that shit
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the adult horror conversation with yourself of 'i could have tortillas with dinner tonight. i just had tortillas the other day. that's okay. i can, in fact, have tortillas again! i am putting a different filling in them! but if i have these tortillas, i will have a total of six tortillas left in the freezer. eventually i will have to buy more tortillas. by god, girl, you are allowed to eat the things you have in the freezer, instead of feeling like you have to save them for some potential eventuality so you don't run out of them, and like, what situation are you even imagining where the tortillas would be better to have later instead of for this particular dinner??? if you keep feeling like you have to save them for Something you will just not eat the tortillas!! eventually EVERYTHING runs out and you have to buy more of them!! that is the way the world works!! you are allowed to not have things aggressively stockpiled, except for like, tissues, but that was a purchasing incident on mom's card while she was still here, so you just happen to have, a bizarre amount of tissue boxes. AND WHILE YOUR FINANCES ARE STILL BIG RED QUESTION MARKS, YOU CAN, IN FACT, AFFORD TO GO BUY MORE TORTILLAS IF YOU FUCKING WANT TO!!! YOU GET THE STREET TACO SIZE AND THEY'RE LIKE $2.99!!!!! AND WHEN DID YOU EVEN BUY THESE TORTILLAS, HUH???????? YOU DON'T KNOW, DO YOU???? WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH THE TORTILLAS AT AN ACCEPTABLE PACE!! WHATEVER THE HELL THAT SENTENCE MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
anyway i'm eating the tortillas. or i mean they're on the counter defrosting while i have some chicken toasting in the toaster oven
#adulting is going soooooooo normally i tell you WHAT#first option of how to keep the house is going to fall through (or well it's not long-term sustainable)#so now we're on second option to keep the house and tomorrow that process starts and i will find out soon if THAT'S possible!!!!!!!!!!!#aaaaaaaaaand if not! then! well!!! will have to move. some places i have an eye on but it's also. Thousand Yard Stare#i got a projected electricity bill -- that was A+ i was so pleased with it!! not bad at all!!! sooo much lower than i was assuming. yay.#BUT THE GAS BILL MADE ME GO 'ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL??????'#FIRST OFF LOCAL GAS COMPANY IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF YOUR METER READER CAN'T TRUDGE THROUGH THE SNOW TO THE BACKYARD#AND IS ESTIMATING 100 UNITS HIGHER THAN PREVIOUS USAGE WHICH I'M SURE MAKES A DIFFERENCE#THERE ARE PEOPLE LOCALLY WHO KEEP THEIR HEATER ON 60 BTW AND YOU'RE STILL CHARGING THEM $300 WHICH AT LEAST YOU AREN'T CHARGING ME BUT DAMN#this area is having a bit of a Time with gas and electric bills. it's a whole Thing. mostly i have luckily escaped that.#/crosses self for good luck even if it does NOT work that way and i am Not religious by ANY means#also they're breaking up a security deposit over 3 months bc i didn't have any other real bills in my name when i switched all the bills#(at least the gas was the only one that wanted a security deposit. and they'll give it back to me in a year if i'm current for a year.)#(but also. rrrrrrrrrrude)#so i was expecting that but also a specific budget billing but they are asking for moreeeee than i thought they would!#mostly this is a jan-march issue. after march at least it'll go down like $90. which is better but also. still. sigh.#idk if i should call and argue about the reading. i should just let it go probably. i don't like it but. well. idk.#WELL I GOTTA GET THROUGH TOMORROW FIRST.#AND BEFORE THAT. TONIGHT. AND MY TORTILLAS.
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The poem evokes human greatness and human vulnerability. People are “godlike” in their courage and skill, but even the greatest mortals fall and clutch the dust between their bloody fingers. The beautiful word minunthadios , “short-lived,” is used of both Achilles and Hector, and applies to all of us. We die too soon, and there is no adequate recompense for the terrible, inevitable loss of life. Yet through poetry, the words, actions, and feelings of some long-ago brief lives may be remembered even three thousand years later.
--Emily Wilson's introduction to the Iliad
#so. we've come to the Iliad section in my Early World Literature class. and in that context we're utilizing the public domain translation by#A. S. Kline which made me think: you know what would be extremely fucking cool? since I'm going to have access to the Kline text until#the course closes in December. why don't I at least start the Wilson version and see how the two translations differ? so I'm now reading#The Iliad#as translated by Wilson and performed by the utterly masterful Audra McDonald. or well. I _would be except I'm so delighted. stunned. by#the incisive thought-provokingness of her introduction I keep needing to pause and write down various quotes: just this whole idea of#the poem revolving around how all all our deaths shall come too soon and there is no adequate compensation for that awful fact just FUCK#linguistics#mythology#folklore#fairy tales#lit geekery#book babbling#(oh I am already so fucking deep in this fannish hell and I haven't even really started her translation: like the Kline one is fine. but#it's very focused on *trying* to be Homeric you know? so there are all these very archaic references ala to Apollo#as Smintheus. which I then have to stop and look up oh. that means he's the mouse god and being the mouse god is important because#it ties back to him being an oracular god. which is then why the Greeks want to turn to another oracular god when he gets all pissy at them#and on one level. learning that mice were associated with the power of prophecy? extremely cool shit. on the other. well I have to#read a large chunk of this text in a fucking week Kline my good bud was it really necessary to provide an odd mouse reference I then#needed to find the context for *myself* I can already tell Wilson's tendency to provide context. both in the intro and just in general#wanting to make it readable terms will make this so! much easier of an introduction. (Kline. by contrast. would be really fucking cool if#you were a third-time reader and wanted all the marvelous nuance. just *rubs forehead* not a great intro when you're only focusing on#this text for a fucking week)
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watching some of the opera adaptations of the orpheus and eurydice story for a paper, and can i just say, giving it a happy ending is for cowards only. this is opera for god's sake! how are you not committing to the angst? christoph willibald gluck this is a callout post
#orpheus#orpheus ed euridice#opera#orpheus and eurydice#anais mitchell you're the only one i respect#okay edit: having now seen monteverdi's l'orfeo (one of the first operas ever!) monteverdi has rights too#hilarious scene where right after hades (although we're using roman names in this one so pluto actually) lets eurydice go#orpheus sings a whole aria about how awesome his lyre is and how he's the sickest musician ever#only to immediately fuck it up by turning around#very funny and eurydice stays dead so i'm on board#but gluck is my mortal enemy#shitty opera boring songs (because he was part of this weird movement where they decided opera songs should be simple and and a happy endin#the only part i liked was the weird marital argument orpheus and eurydice had while actively walking out of hell#like it was fully mommy and daddy are getting a divorce vibes which was odd but at least funny and an interesting take on the myth#the rest sucked
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My tombstone:
Here lies werewolf-garfield, who killed themself bc they kept having to work with the most annoying violinist in the world
#how have you been in orchestra for several years (and currently are in a COLLEGE ORCHESTRA) and you dont understand the concept#of noting questions for the conductor and asking after rehearsal#how have you deluded yourself into thinking its appropriate to stop rehearsal (multiple times! during the FIRST REHEARSAL)#asking questions that are only relevant to you and your part????#literally making the entire pit & cast stop during a song that was otherwise going fine bc you couldnt figure out when to take off your mute#stopped rehearsal to ask about something that happened 2 songs before where we were. ask later!!! we're not going back rn!!#you can ask her later if she was in 2 or 4 there bc guess what! it doesnt matter right now!!!!!#im sorry for ranting but ive never seen someone have so much disregard for respecting other peoples time#there are 15 other people in the pit AND 30 people in the cast. every time you make everyone stop to answer a question that can wait#they all have to sit around doing nothing while your question gets answered instead of rehearsing. which is what theyre here for.#we didnt get through the show tonight and maybe we still wouldnt have without all of the stops. but we couldve at least#gotten thru another song or two. its just so fucking selfish man. look around and realize that other people shouldnt have to sit around#twiddling their thumbs while the conductor tells you that yes#the note you played on beat one of measure 75 was in fact correct#grow up. im losing it.
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