#ANYWAY. having a moment ignore me
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I love it when "they should be at the club" is like, an actual character dynamic, with person A looking at person B as they work themselves to the bone/throw their own happiness away for the greater good/take on more responsibility than anyone could ever hope to bear and they're just like. Hey. You should be at the club
#ramblings of a lunatic#this is about Barbara Gordon and Cassandra Cain in batgirl volume 1#literally babs is like cass wouldn't it be nice if you did things that normal 17 yr old girls get to do-#-instead of living and dying in your kung fu self hate cycle that will inevitably destroy you???#and cass is like. no#cassandra cain (and bruce wayne) voice:#''everyone asks if there's anyway to stop the self sacrifice spiral never how was the spiral it looked fun was the spiral fun?''#dick is also this for bruce but the club is less literal in that specific sense#(also this is soooo far removed from their canon dynamic. but play with me in this space for a bit-#-this but it's steph @ jason)#(like she realizes he's the same age as cass- she would not have guessed bc he's fucking huge and grizzled-#-and she's like damn. you should be at the club jason-#-just an in passing observation! arguably ribbing him about his melodramatic vengeance quest-#-that becomes a lot harder to take seriously when you remember he's barely old enough to legally drink)#(and jasons just like. what would i even do at the club steph. what part of me seems like a guy who would have fun at the club)#(Jason and Bruce are both too autistic for the club. cass is the right amount of sensory seeking autistic to get something out of the club-#-but really babs should be taking her to a mosh pit for maximum enrichment. she'd thrive)#ANYWAY. having a moment ignore me#my previously obtained ibuprofen is the last defence against me and certain doom (sore throat oof ouch)#like that meme of the soldier with knives and bombs in his back protecting the sleeping child#point being idk how long it'll last so i should sleep sooner rather than later to get the max benefits
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Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David ↳ UNDER COVERS
#tony dinozzo#ziva david#tiva#ncis#ncisedit#my gifs#my posts#mine: tiva#mine: ncis#userannalise#usersof#cinemapix#userthing#dailyflicks#usersource#tvedit#filmtvdaily#userstream#useroptional#otpsource#did i really make a scene set if i didn't make it 3000 gifs long because i can never decide what to take out#i forgot how hard it was to gif s3 tiva like wow what whiplash this has been. but these are better than my gifs 4 years ago of them#loving the new tumblr sizes bc i can make them bright and it lets me?? madness. still ruins it making them bright but i've accepted my fate#crying that they changed the filter on the first kiss gif like who approved this?? we need to have a conversation.#these match kind of but we will ignore the mess and embrace the green. moment of silence for my ps who had several breakdowns making these#so many things to obsess over still in this. the way she takes his hand? leads him across the room? the confusion on his face? perfection.#anyway it's under covers day tomorrow so here is an under covers set. need them to go frame by frame explaining this episode for my sanity
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inverness here they come!!!!
#ignoring canon. does everyone know that esther forces her way back into his life even in a world where they don't have to meet#and then they just ditch london and live an oddly quiet life until the end of the war in scotland. they told me that.#more than anything in the world i am always thinking of the incredible force that these two are and how determined they are to survive#please see: esther genuinely trying to shoot him (makes me laugh everytime i see it) and the way karl blends himself into every scenario#not above lying not above running away just trying to get by. 'i treat others the way they treat me'. distrustful by default#and finally the only reason these two stop kicking and clawing is the budding family they accidentally form#AND THEN THE LAST 20 MINUTES OF EP4 HAPPENS.#ep8 gives me a semblance of peace. theyre in inverness to ME.#i do also rly adore their twin rbf. at any given moment they look as though theyre chatting shit (they are)#AND the gun thing is so funny. the gun fails and instead of giving up esther just tries to shoot him again LLOOOLLLL#no thoughts towards the consequences and with no experience with guns as well. she's literally goated#jacob fortune lloyd's interview on this and his thoughts on their relationship also makes me a tiny bit sick so .#anyways. WATCH BODIES#karl weissman#esther jankovsky#bodies netflix#my art#bodies 2023
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I'm begging people to please just learn to enjoy things, genuinely. Like yes, think critically while consuming media and stay alert, but also remember to allow yourself downtime.
I'm tired right now and probably won't be able to articulate this properly, but I just saw someone on Twitter complain that movies like The Menu and Glass Onion are shallow half-critiques that don't actually say anything radical about the rich/class systems, and I mean... Yeah? That's actually ok? They're entertainment products designed for mass appeal. And I'm not saying that something can't be entertaining as well as taking a clear, defined position, but I'm saying that not every piece of media has to be an in-depth takedown of social/political systems.
Both films had something to say, and do a good job of getting people thinking about our current society and it's issues. They aren't documentaries created for a niche group who have thoroughly studied these ideals, nor do they claim to be. Not everyone watching these movies will have the same knowledge of social systems, and most people certainly don't want to be flat out lectured by fictional characters.
Learn to enjoy things for what they are sometimes, without feeling the need to condemn them for every way they didn't live up to your personal standard
#The internet is insufferable sometimes#not every moment needs to be a fight!#anyway#The menu#Glass Onion#could they have done more? sure. But they aren't required to#we're reaching a point where absolutely everything we do or consume has to meet a particular level of moral cleanliness#or else both it and we are considered willfully ignorant or bigoted#should have mentioned that it wasn't just the initial tweet which got me bothered but many of the replies as well
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i will never understand when people act like zutara shippers are reaching when we say the crystal catacombs scene is intensely romantically coded because like... ignoring literally all other context (which does have other hallmarks of romantic coding, but literally pretend you don't know anything about the show or scene for a second)... what would you think happened in this picture?
would it .... would it maybe be an interrupted almost-kiss
#zutara#even ignoring all other context (such as katara gently touching his scar with her THUMB on his LIPS?? the soft glowy lighting and the music#look at that moment outside of the context and tell me that's not what you would think#i think part of the sentiment comes from people thinking romance coding inherently means the two characters are written as canonically#having feelings for each other#and that's not necessarily true.#it's about the narrative framework the dynamic is presented in consistently using tropes and imagery that are commonly used in romance#stories#atla#zuko#katara#anyway. i am so normal about this#the crossroads of destiny#i was gonna wait to post until i got here in my rewatch but. i changed my mind
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2011 Italian Grand Prix - Vettonso
#SORRY. I AM GOING THROUGH IT.#this is why i had to put vettonso merchant in my bio bcs if i dont post them at least 5x a week ill die#their dynamic in this race is like actually indecipherable to me#cause this is the race where fernando 'allegedly' said fuck you my boy#but their dynamic is so odd????#like they have that happen in the cooldown room#and then generally ignore each other on the podium#and then we randomly get this cute moment and then they INSTANTLY go back to being awkward#but then in the press con they keep talking about each other and looking at each other???? okay :)#sometimes im just like. yeah no i give up on trying to understand them#not rly noticeable in these buts its so funny how seb pats him to get his attention#and then immediately goes to cheer as if to be like 'huh what i didnt touch uou'#to ref that one post about this race said: he didnt wanna embarrass himself again by getting turned on#stealing this from c cough cough but hes like 'oh no!! if he looks at me im gonna embrass myself on broadcast again!!'#anyways i love this moment and the pics from this are like my fav ever 2010s pics of them so yeah <3#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#we do a little bit of f1#*its so odd i completely remember finishing this and scheduling it last night#*but when i woke up it was only half done??? im still confused#2011 italian gp
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my favourite genre of period drama love interest is 'most autistic man in England is increasingly and hopelessly obsessed with the one woman in Society who loathes him with such a burning intensity that she can only speak to him by way of scathing riposte, and wants nothing more in life than to trail after her dotingly but cannot work out how to get her to let him do so'
#this is about Mr Darcy and Mr Thornton#all they want is to stand at the side of a room talking only to their wives until it is socially acceptable for them to leave#anyway I'm having my annual Period Drama Moment feel free to ignore me#pride and prejudice#north and south
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If you want to be bothered. Maybe this for dick and Bruce???
i ALWAYS want to be bothered these are always the highlight of my day tbh you're a delight for letting me just yap <3
Dick. For the canon isn't real square I am Specifically talking about the Tom Taylor Nightwing run. Usually I ignore bad runs but given this one is ongoing (though about to end THANK GOD and get replaced by Dan Watters who i have high hopes for since i adored his Sword of Azrael (2022) run but i digress) so I counted it. Especially since it's so debated if that run is bad or not, for some reason. I'm a 90s Nightwing truther. I love Dick so dearly and tbh recently I've been more enamored with him the more I read his Discowing era, I didn't used to be as big of a Dick stan as I am these days.
Bruce. Honestly where do you even start with Bruce. I want to fist fight him and also patch him up. He got me into comics and superheroes as a whole but I roll my eyes whenever he shows up in a story. He's a bastard and usually not a good father but also complex and should be dissected under a magnifying glass. I love him dearly. He's also just the worst. I think that's why I love him. I'm always a fan of unabashedly Complicated Asshole Bruce who's generally not always the best person, particularly not to the Batfamily and that being the driving force of his relationships with them, especially in shipping.
And for bonus points, Tim. Because know above all else, I'm a Tim Drake kinnie /deg. He's been my number one for a decade and I've yet to uproot him from my brain. He's literally the Worst half the time and I love him for it. And the canon isn't real refers to Tim Drake: Robin because... that sure was a comic. And that's about all I can say about it. Pre-Flashpoint Tim I miss you so dearly. I think it's fun that I want to put him in a blender and drink the juice but also want Nothing Ever to happen to him.
#necrotic answerings#batcest#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#fandom tag#anyway the fandom is i guess mean to all of them#but like it's deserving.#everytime i meet a tim anti i'm like you're SO right. he's the worst. pls hate his ass more.#same with bruce. like never met a bruce anti who didn't have endless receipts for hating his ass.#(except for those using the shallow 'he's a billionaire beating up the mentally ill' argument which. i ignore)#(bc why are you. consuming superhero content if you just don't like or understand the genre. it's lazy pseudointellectual nonsense.)#and i don't think ppl are truly mean to dick. i think they just don't understand him.#which extends to the entire batfamily bc well. the state of the fandom and all.#like “everyone else is wrong about them” isn't in a “no one gets them but me” way#(except about tim truly no one gets him but me /j)#it's in a “oh y'all just want to fit them into neat boxes don't you” way#one more person call dick grayson “eldest daughter core” and i'm going to your house and eating the stuffing out all of your pillows.#first of all can we stop calling male characters “female coded” in any way please#women exist in comics too.#second of all it's just not true? and it's not the complex he has with bruce nor his “siblings” if you wish to call them that#and then bruce. where do you even start.#you dare say you think it's in character for bruce to hit his kids and *SOCIETY. society goes wild.*#like ofc it has to be in specific contexts. he's not just swinging.#and sometimes it *is* written very OOC bc bruce is written as a machismo self insert i give you that#but yeah a soldier who views his children as soldiers and has zero healthy emotional regulation or communication skills#is gonna sometimes swing in his worst moments. it is just how the superhero genre works everyone is gonna fist fight to solve problems.#why are you reading comics about ppl who hit other ppl for a living if you don't like it when they hit ppl.#also random hot take about dick's characterization#the young justice tv show did incredible damage to ppl's perception of him and i dislike the take it's the best adaptation of him
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In honor of Sherbert’s Lego Stream that happened earlier, I have silly Headcanon that definitely, absolutely, wasn’t created by that stream /hj /silly
I present, Fable not knowing how to bond with children so he just *creates* Lego sets and builds them with Icarus because let’s be honest- aside from manipulating that crap out of that smol child, he doesn’t know how to actually interact with children specifically. /lh but not really cause this is c!fable
#Also. I have a funny vision of Icarus inheriting Fable’s role as the god of creation#And when they first interact after fable dies. Instead of unpacking *all of that*. They just- build a GIANT Lego set for *a long time*#Like- New Creation god and Ex-Creation god making a Lego set to ignore their problems. and also cause *C R E A T E*#Idk- is this something? Maybe. But it’s really funny to me.#especially at the end of the building process because neither of parent nor child will let *anything* happen to it#Cause you can’t convince me that all Sherbert’s have their moments where they lose their minds over their projects#cough cough *ajax* and *lego-building Sherb* cough cough#anyway. yeah#:3#fable smp#fablesmp#fable smp icarus#fable creation#fable smp headcanons#(Psst. In *my* specific vision. I picture it as Morningstar Castle Lego Edition that they build. Take that as you will if you wish :3)
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I'm glad Fields of Mistria is at least a little more lenient with how you gain relationship w characters than Stardew was, bc as much as I love March as a character something I don't love about these kinds of games is the way their arcs/behaviour doesn't progress at all unless you're actively giving them gifts and talking to them every day (neither of which March deserves at all btw). Just rubs me the wrong way that the solution to jerk characters in these games is always to placate and rehab thier behaviour instead of the narrative/your accomplishments working towards that instead.
Idk. I think a lot of ppl have no problem kissing up to tsundere types in games but I'm like entirely too autistic and too "it's the principle of the matter" to be able to? If March is supposed to develop from being antagonistic and rude then it feels shitty that it comes from undeserved, infinite olive-branches and not just the natural progression of time/story? So at least I can mostly ignore him, tho as a consequence it takes fucking ages to increase his hearts passively that way. You can rebuff and scold him in the 2 heart event and I hope they carry that "I'm not taking your stupid ass bullshit, March" energy for the future hearts too. Because I'm out here infrastructure/farm-maxing, I'll spoil him w conversation and gifts when he figures his shit out on his own lol and we get on neutral ground.
Also I just generally don't like how abrupt his change towards you is on Friday nights. I get it's supposed to be comedic but when he's randomly only nice to you when he's drunk, and he's the only character who's Friday night interactions don't seem to have any bearing on his disposition or dialogue with you after (yet everyone else references their Friday night interactions w you and each other) it makes it feel almost non-canonical as opposed to a hidden quirk of his.
Also idk, "only nice when drunk" isnt the incentive to befriend him the devs think it is lol
#fields of mistria#fields of mistria march#that last part especially#anyway im in fall year 1 and finally got his 2 heart event bc ive been ignoring the fuck out if him p much exclusively#and i already had an infused silver hoe by the time he gifted me the copper one and i felt not a shred of guilt selling that fcking lmao#my personal ick towards engaging w him makes the rare moments i do so much funnier in a “marchs rare olive branches are too little too late#way#also a hoe? the most underutilized tool i have in my roster okay march very helpful#i used that thing once and its been in storage since but thanks for the second worse hoe bestieee#also i know im in the extreme minority of ppl that have a hard time w this specific ludonarrative dissonance so forgive me#for being a wet blanket
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Oh my gosh whyyyy am I so obsessed with numbers I don't like it at all this is driving me INSANEEEE😭😭IT'S GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AS THE DAYS GO BY AAAA
#IT'S SO WEIRD I HATE IT I HATE IT SO FCKING MUCH#I've had this weird relationship with numbers for years but it's gotten so much worse#I'm so obsessed with even numbers and odd numbers likeeee#I have even days and odd days?? that's what I call them anyways#where on even days everything has to involve even numbers and on odd days everything has to involve odd numbers#like those are my safe numbers for those days#and if I use the wrong number on the wrong day something bad will happen so I have to.I guess?? neutralize it?? somehow..#usually I figure out how in the moment but other times I just panic#likee for example today's an (I'm assuming) even day right now. so I have to have my tv volume on an even number#I have to eat an even number of food today#I CANNOT rb something on tumblr if I'm not on an even numbered reblog or I'm not an even numbered note... that makes no sense lemme explain#so I always have to like posts I reblog it's a rule I have for some reason. so in order for me to reblog a post#I have to land on an even number when I rb it#so for example if a post has 172 notes I'll like it which'll give it 173 notes then I'll rb which'll give it 174 notes#but if the post already has 173 notes before I liked it then I'll just like and not rb bcz if I rb it'll be 175 notes#which lands on an odd number and ahasbdhfbdsfaedw#it's the same for odd days just vice versa (it'd have to be on 177 though bcz 5 is an unsafe number for me rn)#YEAH 100% unsafe numbers for me are 3 5 6 and 9 and any number involving those numbers (so 26 and 13 are still unsafe)#basically no matter if it's an even day or an odd day I cannot land on anything with those numbers#and if I don't follow these rules my brain made up then something awful will happen or my day will go bad#or something I wanna do won't go well#thess numbers apply to EVERYTHING. and and it's SO ANNOYINGGGG. I've been trying to ignore it but it's getting harder and harder HELPPSADNF#I tried to tell my mom abt it but she just says “oh your grandma's also like that. you probably got it from her”#THANKS GRANDMA FOR THE NUMBER OBSESSION :'D#vent
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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my opinion on the Blake lively situation
#okay so I never HATED Blake lively#but I did have a feeling about her#so I’d always like purposely not interact or view any interview or anything of hers that came up on my feed#I DON’T like Ryan Reynolds and never have#I just find him a try hard and annoying#and I did not like the couple of Blake and Ryan#they just seemed soooo pick me#so yeah I tried to just ignore the whole downfall of Blake lively that’s been happening#bc sometimes I just don’t care to comment or learn about celeb drama#BUTTTT ofc i got sucked into it#and not Blake tryna have a Margot Robbie in Barbie moment 😂😂#‘bring your girlfriends and wear florals!1!1’ GIRL MARGOT NEVER TOLD ANYONE TO WEAR PINK TO BARBIE IT WAS A NATURAL THING#not to mention I didn’t even realise this movie was about domestic violence as I’ve never read the book#and it was NOT being marketed as one thanks to Blake and Ryan#also why did Ryan have to get involve#ALSO this morning I saw the interview from 2016 where Blake is being rude to the interview#and oh my god it’s awful like SHE FIRSTLY FAT SHAMES HER OFF THE BAT NO HESITATION#then proceeds to ignore the poor interviewer#like doesn’t give her eye contact AT ALL#which I felt so bad for the interview bc I’ve BEEN THERE#this is why I’d hate to be a celeb interview bc imagine getting treated like a third rate individual by these big headed LOSERS who think#they’re better than you just bc they’re famous#I could NOT#anyways also Blake tried to have a whole feminist moment when the interviewer asked her about the clothes she wears in the movie#‘would anyone ask the men about the clothes’#UM BITCH YES??? COSTUMES??? IN FILM?? IS A THING ???#also can I just say Blake has always had the worst hair ever and the fact she has a hair care line is insane bc SHE IS KNOWN TO HAVE BAD HAI#and I never thought her fashion was good like even when people were simping over her met gala outfits I NEVER EVER SAW THE VISION#anyways yeah lol#the interviewer thing triggered me lowkey like HOW RUDEEEE
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Sakura comes home after the second stage of the chunin exams with her hair short and her face set with grim determination to be stronger.
Her mother is distraught, eyes the choppy bob critically, before letting it go and telling her that it'll grow back quickly. She's young, after all, and her hair has always grown quickly.
But Sakura keeps trimming it, never letting it grow back out to the length that she was so proud of before. She feels freer without it, somehow. Her head is lighter, no longer pulled down by the weight of thick hair and people’s expectations.
It doesn't matter any more when people eye her bruised knuckles, the scars scattered on her body, the eyebags from long shifts at the hospital.
Short hair is more practical for a shinobi, after all. At least, that's what she tells her mother. They've never met the Hyuuga, so it doesn't matter if it isn't necessarily true.
Besides, Sakura isn't Neji, with his impenetrable defenses. She's a brawler with fists that punch through rock and shatter bones, and she cannot afford for someone to grab the hair that would whip around in the devastating blasts left in her wake.
Sometimes, she can still feel the Sound shinobi's hand in her hair, the burning pain in her scalp. Lee and Naruto unconscious on the ground and her weak, useless body trembling in fear.
Other nights, she feels the cold wind, a gentle pinch and a murmured "thank you" on the back of her neck. She sees Naruto's wide smile, a promise to bring him back to her, back to the village. Naruto and Sasuke with their backs to her, always in front, always walking away, leaving her behind.
Sakura trains with a savage ferocity that few can match. She needs to be better, always moving forward, so that some day, she can overtake Naruto and Sasuke.
There are times that she wakes up with a scream caught in her throat, hand reaching for a kunai pouch that isn't there. She gets up and sneaks out, runs to the mountains behind Hokage rock and pummels the rocks until her fists are bloody and her fears are assuaged. The weak little girl died in the Forest of Death, cut out of her along with the long pink locks she discarded.
The weight that was holding her back is gone. She will not be left behind. Never again.
#sakura haruno#ignore me using sakura as a vehicle to explore my own feelings about cutting all my hair off#this is rushedly written as a warm-up either way so#anyway I think about sakura cutting her hair a lot. in my experience it was like getting rid of a part of yourself#maybe im being overdramatic here lol but long hair was always an expectation for me and for the longest time I was so proud of#i hated taking care of it but i loved having it and I loved how other people looked at me and were like 'wow your hair is so long and prett#but because of that i stuck to being feminine and pretty and palatable because I needed people to like me and think of me as pretty#i think when i started realizing i was nb and butch i was so upset at first because how would people like me and think i was pretty#and then eventually i got over it when I cut my hair for the first time. genuinely felt like cutting off people's expectations of me#leaving me free to be myself unapolagetically. to be fair i cut my hair twice. once in the bisexual bob and the second as a boycut#and the second time led me to a Gender Euphoria Moment. that was cool. and so now I keep my hair short.#enjoy the deep chandu lore in the tags i guess#erumai writes fic sometimes
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The grass is warm and soft beneath him as Steve gazes up at the stars shining down on him in those constellations he knows so well. It’s a crisp and clear night, a light breeze chasing away the last remnants of the midsummer heat, and Steve is smiling up at the moonless sky. Beside him, Eddie has his eyes closed and Steve is pretty sure he’s asleep, but Steve has never minded being alone with the stars.
They know him. They know all his secrets.
They know how he longs to reach for Eddie’s hand where it’s lying between them, palm up and so very inviting. They know of his yearning heartbeat and how it is reduced to flutters when Eddie is around with that beaming smile of his.
The stars know Steve Harrington better than he knows even himself, but they keep it a secret among the universe, shared only on moonless, cloudless nights. Like this one, with Eddie here beside him.
“Did you know you always smile when you see the stars?”
Eddie’s voice is too soft to really startle him, but Steve's heartbeat picks up anyway. He couldn’t fight the smile even if he tried.
“Do I?”
Eddie nods, the grass rustling beneath his head, and Steve looks over to see Eddie’s eyes still closed. It’s what makes him keep looking. The stars won’t tell.
“Yeah,” he breathes and Steve’s eyes fall down to his lips. “Makes me think like you’re in on some cosmic secret sometimes, Stevie. You one of them?”
“One of what?” Steve whispers back, his hand inching closer to Eddie’s. Not to touch. Just to make sure that in another universe, another Steve will take that hand.
Eddie smiles as if he knows, as if he feels that other universe inside his chest, but he doesn’t reach out. “The stars. A fallen one, maybe.”
Steve huffs out a breath and tears his eyes away from Eddie to look back up again. “I’m not a fallen star, Eddie.”
“Hmm,” he hums, and Steve wants to wrap himself up in it. Curl on his side and rest his head on Eddie’s chest, ask him to hum for the rest of their lives, or so long as the stars will cover them. “Tell me about the stars, then? And why they make you smile.”
Steve swallows and searches the sky for answers. He could. He shouldn’t, maybe. But he wants to. Right now, with Eddie’s eyes closed, their hands almost touching, their smiles refusing to leave, and the stars above them glowing and twinkling so kindly, Steve wants to tell him.
This is it.
But if he closes his eyes, this can be just like any other night Steve has spent telling the stars about him. Only this time, Eddie is here to listen.
“It’s because they know,” he whispers, heart beating in his throat now, choking off the words.
“They know?” Eddie prompts after a while, just as quiet, just as trembling.
And now Steve reaches out with his pinkie and hooks it over Eddie’s pointer and middle fingers. “They know,” he repeats. “About you.”
Slowly, achingly slowly, Steve caresses Eddie’s fingers with his own until their hands lie on top of each other, slotting together perfectly. He hears a hitched breath and wonders, fears, aches, for all but a moment. Until Eddie’s thumb comes up to draw tentative patterns on Steve’s palm. Until Eddie is moving closer to rest his head against Steve’s, never once letting go of his hand.
“What about me?” he whispers, and Steve finally opens his eyes, shifting until their foreheads are touching, and looking down at their joined hands.
“Just that… I really, really like you.”
Another hum, and this time Steve can feel it making its way through his body. It makes him shiver even on a warm night like this. Makes him yearn for more.
“And that’s making you smile?”
He’s helpless. Now that he started talking, now that he took Eddie’s hand, now that they’re sharing the same breath, Steve is so, so helpless. But he’s not scared anymore.
“Yes.”
Eddie’s free hand comes up to rest on his cheek. Not to pull him in for a kiss like Steve thinks for a second, but just to hold him. Maybe in another universe they’re kissing. In this one, Eddie is cradling him like he’s something precious. It feels even more intimate.
“You’re doing nothing to convince me that you’re not a fallen fucking star, though, Stevie.”
Steve laughs softly, sounding almost giddy to his own ears, and lifts his hand into Eddie’s hair.
His tone shifts when he continues. “I’m not even entirely sure you’re real right now.”
Along with Eddie's tone there was a shift in the very fabric of the universe that leaves Steve breathless. He swallows and angles his face closer to Eddie’s, feeling brave because Eddie is still here, still talking like that, and maybe, maybe…
“I’m real, Eds,” he breathes.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” And it feels like he’s saying more than that. So much more. “Are you?”
Eddie nods again, bringing his face even closer until their noses are touching and he breathes a tiny, “Very,” against Steve’s lips.
And then, covered by the kindest glow of the stars above them, Steve claims Eddie’s lips in the softest, slowest, most genuine kiss.
for @withacapitalp in the hopes that you'll have a kind and gentle day, or something to come to that could feel like a hug 🤍
#steddie#steddie fic#eddie x steve#steve x eddie#stranger things fic#dio words#hi i know this isn't really a surprise anymore bc i asked if it was okay to write you something but uh. surprise anyway?#i hope this is okay#feel free to ignore this if it's not your jam but i still hope you have a nice day and take this moment to breathe <3#also hc that steve is really into stars but can't keep up with the physics involved so he's a bit like me and just smiles up at them always#oh yeah they’re on Weather Top but no sentence of me mentioning that worked bc my languages were misbehaving
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random hc but. crowley being a plague doctor in the 16th/17th century bc he's supposedly "tempting people into death" but he can never, ever bring himself to actually do that so he ends up soothing their pain as best as he can and comforting them in their last moments. one night, after he held a little girl's hand as she passed away, he sits down at the banks of the river thames, with his plague mask discarded on the dirt, and he starts out over the water with tears in his eyes, wondering what the fuck is actually the point? it's not the first time he's asked himself the question nor the first plague he witnessed but, here, now after personally witnessing hundreds of deaths every day, he really wonders what actually is the point of him? why does he exist and why should he keep existing. why does he get to live when so many others don't? how is that fair? how is any of it fair? that's how aziraphale finds him, as he just got back from an assignment somewhere or other and hears crowley is in town, so he discreetly looks for him and finds him there, sitting in the dirt, now with his head in his hands, his shoulders silently shaking and is obviously immediately worried but doesn't know how to comfort him or what's allowed so he just sits beside crowley and watches him try to pull himself together. aziraphale's heart breaks, he put what happened together from the mask and the robes and he obviously knows about the bubonic plague but was convinced it was hell's doing and couldn't have even imagined crowley was out there everyday, helping people under the guise of hurting them. is he surprised? no, of course not but it still hurts to see crowley like this. but he's afraid to cross their unspoken rules so he quietly waits crowley out. he watches the water and doesn't dare look at crowley as he lifts his head and takes a few shaky breaths in. after a few minutes of breathing, crowley croaks out "her name was mary" and nothing else, and aziraphale understands, god he understands. it's one of the things they never speak about after it happens but aziraphale can't forget the night he sat with crowley for hours, till the sun came up, as he cried about a death of one little girl. he holds it close to his chest and never, ever forgets.
#neither does crowley. he should've been cast out the second he put that mask on cause he'd never be able to do what they wanted him to but#aziraphale would never ever say a word about this and crowley didn't even have to ask him. crowley remembers how just for a few moments#aziraphale let himself brush crowley's hair out of his eyes tenderly and yearns for smth he will never have#ugh the longing the yearning. 's too much#this came to me at like 2:33 am as i was tryna fall asleep with my little azicrow fantasies and i had this idea for a painting of this scen#and i sketched it in my notes app then was like fuck it and went to sketch it on paper and now here we are#idk if this is coherent and idk if i care#also this was kinda inspired 'and in the waking world we wait and we want' which is a dreamling fic BUT hob was a plague doctor for a while#there and anyway i think about that fic once a day so i randomly steal ideas from that like bro the historical knowledge that fic has???#INSANE. the history nerd in me goes crazy every time i reread it it's so so so good#anyway i went off track there ill leave whatever this is here#good omens#good omens headcanons#crowley#aziraphale#good omens 2#azicrow#also i dont claim im a writer in any way shape or form im just slightly insane so ignore how awkward this is
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