#ANYWAY NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR SENDING ME MESSAGES ANON

[petite-madame]

just so you know, it’s very obvious to actual artists that you’re posting AI and then lying that you’ve done it all by hand. kind of embarrassing, and more than a little fucked up.

Hi anon

This kind of nonsense usually ends up in the trash with a laugh but as it's my first "your art is AI", let's go! (It was just a matter of time, as practically all my artist friends got this kind of messages at this point)

it’s very obvious to actual artists...

Actual artists ? You mean, like me, a professional illustrator in her 40s, who has started drawing at the age of 8 and who has been drawing with a consistant art style for the past 15 years (with some improvements, thank god 🤓) ? People like you have accused me of tracing using tracing paper when I was a kid, tracing in Photoshop 15 years ago when I started to post on the internet and now my art is "AI". I should be used to it by now: when I posted this one 14 YEARS AGO, people told me it was traced and that "I wasn't a real artist, actual artists could tell"

I've consistently posted step by step, WIPs, vids, reels, gifs, shown the number of layers I use by art (sometimes more than 100) but apparently, it's never enough. And my art is AI generated ? Which one ?

So much for the Loki one, I apologize for the 0,3%…

Which is also funny is that fans of Supernatural, Good Omens, Sherlock, etc…have been able to say exactly which reference pictures I used for each drawing, not only for faces but sometimes also for the pose and the clothing (because yes, omg, I use reference pictures, the horror 😲)

However if you want to talk about my technique, and I've never hidden it, I sometimes use photos or 3D models for backgrounds because I hate drawing backgrounds. For instance the background of the Superwholock one is composed of a couple of stock pictures (a pub).

Same for a "Sherlock Harry Potter AU" I'll post in a month or so: some parts oh Hogwarts are screenshots from the movie because I didn't feel like drawing a room full of students.

Also, is there sometimes mistakes in my art that don't make sense ? Yes, nothing new, I make mistakes, I've been doing it for years and I still do it, particularly when it comes to anatomy. I want to pull my hair out when I notice them weeks (sometimes months) later but here we are.

Anyway, people like you who throw "it's AI" accusations all over the Internet better think twice because the result is this.

Don't get me wrong, I get the AI paranoia but instead of sending messages to artists like this one, ask kindly about their process, their technique, etc…and also, have a look at their archive, it could help.

I'm leaving you now, I have AI art to generate (= spending 10 hours per drawing using reference pictures, finding inspiration from classical painting, using about 100 layers and stressing about the art not being good enough).

Have a great weekend!

[hannahlovesluca]

Hi! Can I request Luxiem boys(separate) x reader who gets scared very easily and screams when scared? Play the don't scream game live on twitch?

(apologies for my bad English)

(inspired by kubz scout)

-🪻anon

hi 🪻 anon! welcome to the family!

Luxiem Boys + S/O playing “Don’t Scream”

• this motherfucker.

• he will laugh so hard if you scream, but if you’re getting like actually effected he’ll probably make you take a break <3

• probably makes a joke about how you need to go to ike for screamo lessons

• probably adds ike to the call solely because this man is petty as hell

• if you decide to go to the mini market in the game and you get the jump scare where the old man swipes across the screen, he’s most definitely making a lorax joke

• help ive never seen the lorax so i dont know if that context is correct but whatever

• “YOU MOTHERFUCKER JUST LEAVE ME ALOOOOOOONE!! AAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!”

• “HAHAHAGGAHAHAH”

• “DIN JÄVEL GÅ TILLBAKA HELVETET!! AGHHHH!!”

• translation: YOU FUCKER GO BACK TO HELL!

• lots of swears in swedish (from ike… and from me… sorry self insert….again………)

• he genuinely feels bad but also laughs sometimes

• he thinks youre adorable but he also finds it incredibly weird that he thinks someone being terrified for their life is cute…..

• “GÅ KNULLA DIG SJÄLV HAHAH YEAH DU HORA GÅ GRÅTA TILL MAMMA”

• translation: “GO FUCK YOURSELF HAHAH YEAH YOU WHORE GO CRY TO MOMMY”

• you probably end up saying something so bad that he goes limp from laughing and is in tears (literally, not exaggerating)

• and if you have trouble falling asleep that night he’ll make sure to run his hands through your hair and hum to you!

• hes such a dick

• BUT HE SHOULDNT EVEN BE SAYING ANYTHING BECAUSE??? HE GETS SCARED MORE EASILY THAN YOU???

• will literally whimper with you in discord call while youre playing.

• and still has the nerve to call you a baby

• sir?????

• du är en hycklare.

• anyway he most definitely teases you about it

• literally just call him out omg y/n

• ……but its kind of hot when he teases you so you let it happen

• anyway mid game you probably mute him because he’s screaming so loud LMAOO

• this mf is even worse than vox.

• laughing. LAUGHING. MANIACALLY.

• “HOW WAS THAT A SCREAM?! I DIDNT SCREAM OH MY FUCKING GOD!!”

• “HAHAGAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH”

• will be teasing you left and right

• “y/n…. whats kidamogus backwards…”

• “…luca..”

• “JUST ANSWER IT.”

• WILL SAY “LMAO” WHEN THERES A JUMPSCARE.

• his voice is more of a jumpscare than the game itself oh my lawd

• and um… if youre swedish…

• “AHHHHHHHH KNULLA HUR VAR DET ETT SKRIK? FÖR GUDS SKULL, DET HÄR SPELET KAN TA LIVET AV SIG.”

• anyways, if you’re seriously seriously scared to the point where you need comfort he is coming ASAP.

• and he brings snuggles <3

• is still teasing you, though

• he’ll giggle at you every now and then

• but overall he just thinks its cute and amusing

• and if you squeal out a curse his heart is just going to 💥💥💥

• i genuinely dont even know what else to add…. he just giggles at you a lot 😭😭

• will occasionally make a ligma joke if things are too quiet (almost the whole game since you have to be pretty much silent LMAOO)

• he’ll probably send messages in your chat even though hes in call with you

• Shu Yamino [NIJISANJI EN] 🔧: guys what do i do they’re so focused

[silverzoomies]

Ok so I've been a fan of Evan since days of future past came out. Like, the day it came out. I saw the premier or whatever it's called in theaters so DUH I LOVE QUICKSILVER SO MUCH 😞😞 anyways I know you're not taking requests but like I'm a little bit chubby (this is relevant I swear) and I CANNOT stop thinking about Peter and reader! being in a serious long term relationship, but they haven't gone all the way yet. Like, heavy make out session? Yes! Peter getting painfully hard during said make out session? Check. Make out session turns into peters desperately grinding, letting out the neediest little whines. Absolutely. Him definitely busting in his pants at readers! breathless little moans? Every. Single. Time. Never all the way though. He desperately wants to bone but he's willing to wait as long as he wants to because he thinks reader! doesn't want to, but they're just as desperate as he is but scared of what he would think because they're chubby. During one of their heated.. laundry day inducing make out sessions one thing leads to another and reader! ends up telling Peter why they haven't wanted to go all the way, and Peter proves to them he doesn't think that [;)] and talks reader! through it the whole time.

YOU DONT HAVE TO ADD THIS TO YOUR REQUESTS OR TURN IT INTO A FIC IF YOU DONT WANT TO. I just had to share this with somebody and OBVIOUSLY because you're one of my favorite writers I had to come to you with this (hi I've sent u a lot of messages 🎀) and since you're another huge quickie fan I thought you'd enjoy this :3 SORRY IF THIS WAS SUPER LONG OR IF IT DIDNT MAKE SENSE I'm mad at typing sometimes smh

helllooooooo anon, my lovely !!! i love you so much !! forgive me, i haven't written in a while !! i tried my best to make somethin' out of this because it was such a cute idea !! i hope a headcanon list will suffice !! also, please don't ever apologize for sending me long asks. i'm not kidding when i say they make my day, i love them so much !!

headcanons || peter maximoff x chubby!reader

to preface, i think we should consider some key things about our speedy goofball

peter’s a mutant. he knows exactly what it feels like to be alienated for something he has no control over

second of all, the guy’s a little bit of a weirdo

i legitimately doubt he would judge, or think less of anyone for something as superficial as looks

seriously. If he vibes with you, and you’re patient enough with him - you’re sexy as hell

it’s as simple as that, sorry. just bein' honest

so what if you’re a little thicker? he can’t get enough of you

he’s so addicted to you, in fact, you’ve got him trippin’ a little bit

like, he’s kinda goin’ cuckoo

the two of you make out a lot. so much. it’s like you’re glued to one another. any free time you have together usually consists of hanging out, and making out. not that he’s complaining

it’s definitely awesome. and it feels totally great. he does this freaky thing with his tongue that makes you squirm under him every time 

and the way you whine into each smooch - oh, man - you have him longing to get even closer

make outs eventually turn to dry humping. it’s kind of humiliating the first few times...

...since the grinding always seems to end with him busting a load in his jeans. and he whimpers too much...jeez...

but you always praise him for it, which never fails to turn him on even more

things get so heated between the two of you, escalating so often - peter finds himself confused

like…why haven’t you let him…y’know…

once or twice, he hints he wants to go down on you. and there’s no way you misread his signals. he’s pretty blunt about his needs

but you’re always so reluctant. you feign ignorance, or try to distract him with more intense kisses and pretty moans

peter’s never been a patient guy. the fact that he’s willing to wait this long for you says a lot. like, shit…he must really really really like you

but even now…fuck…he’s so worked up. he’s getting a little too bored of being limited to smooching

like, c’mon…do you think he’s ugly or something?? does he smell?? what’s the deal??

he never considered you might be self conscious. his brain doesn’t really operate like that. he’s all impulsivity and living in the moment

in the midst of making out, his hands travel where they don’t usually dare to go. he takes confident chances, fondling your tits over your clothes. but just as things heat up, you redirect his attention again

his blood almost boils. he’s way too hard for this, aching to get closer, and you’re just…gah! why’re you holdin’ yourself back? 

at last, you confess…you’ve been self conscious the whole time

ah

why didn’t you just say somethin’ before? peter tries not to laugh at how silly you sound. obviously, he’s super attracted to you. why else would he spend all his free time with you, tryna get up close and personal?

as things finally move forward, he dials up the sweetness a few notches

and damn, the wait for this was more than worth the uptick in laundry days (thanks to one too many nuts busted in his boxers)

he covers every last inch of your gorgeous body in kisses, as you let him shed you of your clothes

his masculine hands are more gentle than you expect

unclothed together, he doesn’t hesitate to get as close as he possibly can

you’re soft and cozy, and his body is like a furnace

months of pent-up desire leave him so horny, he can’t hold back anymore

through it all, he’s quick to remind you how much of a fox you are. peter teases you with his tongue in ways you never imagined possible. before rocking your world, flowing with the motion of the ocean

and by that, i mean…you bone. balls deep. hellz to the yeah

embarrassingly enough, it ends just as soon as it starts. but as usual, he recovers fast. and his endless stamina means he’s willing to go at it for hours

which he does. until you’re so exhausted, your limbs are like limp noodles. whoops...sorry about that !!

say...uh...no chance you'd wanna go another round, is there?

peter hopes you’ll be more up front with him from now on. so he spends less time dreamin', and more time goin' at it 🤍

[rashomonss]

A HUMANS WRATH

Part XIII.V

previous part

taglist: @miridiums-writing, @zerchila, @aeongiies, @xmoogx, @coffeeandtealol, @food-lover9000, @l0diluvs, @vichsy, @valeriele3, @entolomaeden, @acaribeau, @arcayia, @jessiegerl, @capricorn-anon, @crescentworld, @g-l-1-t-c-h-3-r, @chumbinhoeba, @chaos-n-kindness, @strawberryfire17, @zenxvii, @misscaller06, @luminarysol, @simpinginthecorner, @your-next-daydream, @bontensbabygirl, @crxwned-mxnarch, @ibtisam-aran, @mochicurls21, @rxsehxney, @xpixie, @ihatecorns, @hello-gloomy, @lunarloathsome

a/n: i’m so sorry y'all, if i’m being honest i did somewhat forget about this story for a bit but i’m back! honestly i would’ve been back sooner but being a biology major is currently killing me. anyway i hope y’all enjoy this really small chapter! it might be confusing but it’s a set up for a larger plot point i want to hit a bit later on!

we meet at last

the perspective of a conflicted human

A sigh escaped the lips of Barbatos as he polished the silverware for Diavolo’s upcoming tea party with Lucifer. Things had been going smoothly with you and the brothers lately, it wasn’t supposed to go this smoothly but nonetheless he’s finished his end of the bargain.

If Barbatos was honest he was slightly indifferent to this version of you. Yes it may be a different version of you, but it’s not the same you he knows. He can tell Diavolo feels the same. As much as his lord tries to hide it Barbatos can tell Diavolo becomes very awkward when this version of you is speaking to him.

While he’s glad you’re not causing any more harm to the brothers he believes you to be a problem. If you get too comfortable with the demons that are not yours then you might not want to head back.

After all you had received a heartfelt apology, something this timelines Mc was never able to receive. And after receiving that said apology you then went on to mend your relationship with the brothers. However the agreement was to mend that relationship with “your” demon brothers, not the ones from this timeline.

The more he thought about the situation the deeper his frown became. Since he deemed himself the most competent he was going to get his version of you back, no matter the cost.

Time flew by as he arranged everything for the tea party. And as the second slice of cake was cut and placed in front of Diavolo, Barbatos then excused himself.

Letting out another sigh he walked into his room and sat on one of his chairs, then sent a message to your phone, asking if you’d like to join him for tea.

You wasted no time in responding and he smiled when you said you were leaving soon. True to your word you left the House of Lamentation in a bit of a rush and made your way to the Demon Lord’s castle. It had been awhile since you had seen, or let alone talked to Barbatos.

Him and Divaolo were slightly awkward around you, so you decided to use this opportunity and try your hand at getting closer towards him.

——

the perspective of the original

“Follow me” is all Barbatos said as he pulled you through the dark hallways of the castle.

As you let him drag you like a ragdoll through the hallways he finally stopped in front of his room. He wasted no time when he pushed you into a chair and shoved a book in your hand. Even in the dimly lit room you recognized the pages of this book, it was the same cursed piece that had gotten you into this predicament. You tried to speak but Barbatos covered your mouth with his gloved hand and gave you a small hug.

“I’m sending you home now, I appreciate what you’ve done here” Barbatos spoke finally smiling genuinely; he then cast a spell you had never heard of and everything quickly became blurry.

It was so rushed you had no time to keep up with what had happened. A second ago you were with him as he spoke about getting you home. However one moment your hand had been on the cursed novel, the next you appeared to be in a pitch black room, alone.

What was this place?

Was it your subconscious that he mentioned earlier? Or was it more?

No matter where this was you couldn’t stop that feeling of dread washing over you with each step you took into the abyss. You remained calm nonetheless, besides you’d been through much worse than this. Is what you always told yourself when you felt the slightest bit of fear.

After walking for what seemed like hours on end a staircase appeared in front of you, an extremely familiar one at that. It was none other than the staircase to the attic. The color even down to the chilling temperature of the rails resembled the exact one in the House of Lamentation. Maybe it was a sense of déjà vu that washed over you when you climbed the stairs, but no matter what it was you received the same goosebumps like the first time. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea…

The attics room greeted you as you made your last step up. It didn’t matter if you had been here countless times with Belphie before; being here alone was enough to send you into a state of panic.

Just like before you stepped closer towards the room, mainly interested if you’d find the youngest inside. This time, interestingly enough, the door was open and the room was empty. No one resided in here at this moment, if so why were you here now?

You sat down on the familiar bed you would take naps on with Belphie, and waited.

For anything really.

However the longer you appeared to wait, nothing ever came.

It was just you and this room.

That was until footsteps could be heard as they walked up the stairs, a few mumbles following along with them. Even the voice was hard to pinpoint because you weren’t sure you recognized it. The figure finally made its way to the doorframe and froze in place, dropping whatever they had in their hand. You turned your head to see exactly who it was and once you met their eyes your breathing stopped.

It’s no wonder you had a difficult time pinpointing the voice.

Most people have trouble recognizing their own voice if they’re not currently speaking.

But there’s no possible explanation other than the person standing just a few feet away from you was in fact, also you.

next part

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling someone I wasn't their bully 100% of the time

Hey so I was a shitty kid and i willbe TA for most of the story. However the ambiguous non-ending spins around my head nonstop

! In high-school I met a friend, Lacy (mtf) who had recently come out. We bonded over mutual Fandoms and shared classes and ended up pooling friends. I was already tight friends with one other girl we can call Sam. Sam went to another school but me and her had been best friends for many years and talked constantly online. After spending a lot of time with Lacy, and with L and S in a group, I started to get a little crush. Me and Lacy had this habit of passing comic notes to eachother between classes and they were just so fun. Anyways I ended up passing them one asking them out and she agreed. We talked about it casually after and I kept the note. In the background, me and Sam talk constantly about Lacy. Outside of school, online, Lacy often goes on long rants and tangents and caps it off being painfully self depreciating and insinuating self harm. I honestly don't hold that against her too much, given how young we were and how much stuff was going on. Very quickly I realize this tiny crush evaporates in the heat of her stomping rants. My gut sinks when Lacy mentions we are dating. It's been less than a day. Sam messages me immediately and I make the terrible snap decision to lie. I lie about it and I have the evidence so my version becomes correct. I tell Sam I didn't *really* ask Lacy out, blah blah. The lie doesn't end. Lacy has an explosive breakdown about it, well warranted, and I lie to adults and school administrators as well. We were friends, I guess she got too attached, we talk all the time but no. I never asked her to date. Papers signed, case closed. Lacy blocks me everywhere. The year ends. I resign to never speaking to her, as the unquestioned bully in this situation I wouldn't have the right to approach her about it. I think I send one anon ask completely unrelated to her or our lives, then block her back as is only fair.

Short hop forwards a month or two. Sam sends me a message about an update to Lacys blog. Lacy is otherkin and Sam is laughing at the kin list, sending anon messages mocking Lacy about the choices and identity. Very unfamiliar with otherkin but struggling with gender thoughts myself I don't respond much.

Fast forward a few years. Me and Sam don't talk much now. I got a boyfriend and couldn't help love how much he ignored me. Everything else fell through cracks. Working at my restaurant job one day, who else comes in but Lacy. We are very busy, I try to be quick, don't make eye contact. "Party of....for Lacy?" She nods. The lobby is full so they walk out the door and never come back. Later when my shift is over I unblock and check her blog. She's made a post saying I was her abuser and had sent her constant anon hate since bullying her in hs. Checking her ask tag I see Sam on anon sends 3-6 hate messages a year. I do nothing and leave everyone be and move on.

Another 3 years goes by. Sam reaches out. She's terminally ill, and we speak stiffly for a few IMs. I don't forgive myself for leaving her and decide it's best we don't keep talking. Another few years and Sam passes. Our old friends go through Sam's papers and pc files reminiscing and find pages and pages of shared chat logs between me L and S. It really was a harsh reminder of how cruel I had been, speaking behind Lacys back and lying. I don't doubt I caused her lasting trauma with my actions.

Part of me wanted to reach out to Lacy and apologize, explaining myself and the misunderstanding and clearing the lie not because I wanted to feel absolved I just that it's finally done now. But it feels so cruel to do it when 1. As the original bully it's still not my place to seek closure 2. I can't just toss my friends corpse under this bus for no reason.

It's soon a decade since we all left school so the time seems well past. I just can't stop thinking about all the mistakes. And there seems no reason to bring it all up after all Sam can't say anything about it anymore and nobody is hurt believing i said these things. So, AITA for not telling Lacy it wasn't me bullying her most of the time?

What are these acronyms?

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Hi! I just wanted to say that I like your attitude and resilience (I'm a weak man, and every toxic anti-buddie/anti-buddie-shippers/pro bucktommy idea just hits me straight in the heart).

I don't understand how people can suddenly start hating Buddie because of "crazy fans", but still be smitten by bucktommy despite of how crazy some of their fans are.

And I really hate that they have this ammunition (their ship still going, Eddie happening to be hetero) to bully us with (haven't Buddie shippers been through enough of hate these past six years? And who knows how much more of it we'll have to yet to go through...)

Ah, sorry for the rant😅

The long ass message anon from lenaboskow's asks xD

🏝️

awwwww, thank you anon 😭 <3

if i’m being honest, the public resilience comes from years of being bullied and ridiculed, so at this point hate (especially anonymous hate) just rolls off my back bc atp it’s just par for the course with these people.

i definitely understand the toxicity hitting you right in the feels though. i have mentioned before but i have really bad anxiety and depression, and there are times when if i haven’t taken my meds i will start to spiral over the smallest things (just ask @lenaboskow who has been present for a lot of this unmedicated spiraling)… so i definitely understand that some of the toxicity and hate can be hard. especially when the writers continued to give them ammunition after seeing what what was happening on twitter during the premiere period of season 7.

I’ve been a buddie shipper since s2. I have put up with seeing ridicule and disrespect from the fandom for shipping buddie for years (granted i only started getting actively involved in the fandom very recently, i still kept up with cast interviews, articles, etc. and could see plenty of it there) so i understand it can be hard seeing so many people that once were hardcore buddie shippers suddenly turning into violently hateful stan accounts for this new ship is jarring and disappointing… i have seen so many of my favorite fic writers turn into anti-buddie-eddie-bashing enthusiasts seemingly overnight and it’s hard to see.

that being said, i still have not lost hope. abc and tptb see what is happening— they see screeners being harassed for talking about buddie, they see buddie shippers getting doxxed and getting death threats, they see lou stirring the pot (though thankfully it seems something has been done about that)

these creators know that stoking this kind of fandom behavior is not okay- they know that it’s a bad idea to reward toxicity and hate. they have also been the ones actively laying the groundwork for buddie for six years. a lot of the writers actually care about buck AND eddie, rather than just buck (regardless of whatever is going on in kristen reidel’s cesspool of a creative mind), and we know that queer eddie has been discussed at length before to the point where the queer storyline of s7 was almost eddie’s. these writers see what we see, the actors see what we see, tim minear sees what we see.

i don’t know what they have in store for next season, but regardless of whether or not we get buddie canon, i am very optimistic that the pilot won’t be around much longer, especially after the drama and toxicity he has stirred up within the fandom, bc the last thing a network tv show wants is bad press, and that situation has the potential to boil over into something much worse if they didn’t put a stop to it immediately.

anyway, anon, never apologize for sending a long ask, i love to yap and i love being an outlet for people to vent if they need to <3 i believe in you, that you will be able to withstand this blip in the fandom; as someone who’s had to go through similar situations in other fandoms it will not matter a year from now once everyone has moved on. unfortunately we are caught upnin the novelty of it, but once it either peters out or becomes a sort of “new normal” (which i hope it is the former and not the latter) it will be so much easier to bear with.

i hope you have a lovely morning, afternoon, or evening, sweet anon 💕💕

[pinkertinn]

hi im actually obsessed with don't leave baby eagle on read

would you ever write soemthing like that (like Ashley teasing him dynamic) where theyre messing around under a tablecloth somewhere? like handjob w gentle teasing and maybe praise?

Anon!!! Anon, say less. Teasing Leon? In a public place? Under a tablecloth? Maybe praise?

Quick get this off my table right now. I'm obsessed. Also, big thanks for reading my work. Makes my day!

Title: Fashionably Late, But Always on Time

Summary: Leon arrives late to a formal dinner, only to be teased mercilessly by Ashley under the table as they try to keep up appearances.

Tags: Flirty Banter, Public Teasing, Hidden Desires, Light Dom/Sub Dynamics, Humorous Embarrassment, Power Play, Slow Burn Tension

WordCount: 3,500

Rating: 18+ MDNI

story under the cut.

She sat at the long table, the clink of silverware and the low hum of conversation surrounding her like a fog. The evening was supposed to be dignified—impressive, even—but all she felt was the slow burn of frustration creeping up her spine. It wasn't the people or the event itself; it was the fact that he wasn't there yet, and she'd been left to fend for herself against a wall of polite small talk. Her phone buzzed in her lap for the hundredth time that night.

On my way, I swear.

She bit her lip, hiding her smirk behind a sip of wine. You’re late, she shot back quickly, her thumb tapping out the message under the table.

A few seconds later: Traffic. You'll survive. What’s the damage?

Her eyes darted up to catch someone talking animatedly about diplomatic relations. She hadn’t been paying attention for a good twenty minutes now, but she nodded anyway, pretending to care. Her thumb hovered over the screen. You’re paying for this. Big time.

The response came almost immediately: Depends. How mad are you?

She couldn’t help the grin pulling at the corner of her mouth as she shifted in her seat. He always knew how to push her buttons, and somehow, it was annoying and comforting all at once. She leaned forward just slightly, letting her fingers slide over the screen with a slow precision.

Let’s just say I have some ideas on how you can make it up to me. They’re not exactly presidential.

She could almost hear the way he'd laugh at that, the way his voice would drop lower when he finally arrived, teasing, a mix of apology and amusement lingering in every word. A subtle thrill buzzed beneath her skin at the thought of it—him showing up at this stuffy event, his tie loosened like he just couldn't be bothered to care about the formalities, eyes searching for her in the crowd. He’d probably head straight for the bar first, like always.

Her phone buzzed again. You’re killing me. Almost there.

Good, she typed back quickly, because if you make me suffer through one more story about NATO, you’re not leaving my place until Monday. She paused, deleting the last part and rewriting it: And we both know you’ll never make it out of bed if that happens.

Her heart beat a little faster as she hit send, the words bold but charged with the weight of everything that wasn’t being directly said between them tonight. The back-and-forth had a rhythm to it, one they’d mastered ages ago—teasing, playful, but always teetering on the edge of something more, something they both knew would come later.

The room felt too hot, or maybe that was just her, thinking about how this night might end. She shifted in her seat again, smoothing her dress as though it would help her focus on anything other than the slow ache building in her stomach. He had a way of leaving her hanging, just long enough to make her miss him, just long enough to make her want to drag him back down to earth when he finally showed up.

A text blinked onto her screen: I’ve got plans for you, too. You sure you can wait that long?

Her breath hitched, cheeks warming under the pretense of politeness as she quickly glanced up. No one was paying attention to her; they were all still talking, still engrossed in their own conversations, completely unaware of the tension coiling in her chest. She took a slow, deep breath, typing with steady fingers.

Guess we’ll see how long you last once you get here.

The anticipation gnawed at her, that familiar mix of frustration and excitement pulling her thoughts in a direction that had nothing to do with the formal dinner in front of her. She hated him for it—how easily he could do this, how he made her feel like a teenager sneaking glances at her phone under the table. She'd spent the last hour pretending to be invested in conversations that bored her to tears, all while her mind kept wandering back to him. He always seemed to slip in under her skin, no matter where they were or what they were supposed to be doing.

A quick glance at the clock confirmed it—he was SO late. And she’d definitely make him pay for it.

Her phone buzzed once more: Five minutes. Hold that thought.

She bit her lip, locking her phone and slipping it back into her clutch. Five minutes. He’d better be worth the wait.

Exactly five minutes later the heavy wooden doors at the back of the room creaked open, she felt it before she saw him. A subtle shift in the energy, like a current had swept through the air, crackling with something undeniably him. She didn't even need to look; she just knew. He always carried that kind of presence—an unspoken, irresistible pull that seemed to stop time for just a second.

He entered the room with effortless grace, his suit impeccably tailored, tie just loose enough to match the way she'd pictured him. His hair, slightly tousled as if he'd run his fingers through it in frustration during the drive, added an unpolished, rugged edge to his usual sharpness. It made him look more… raw. The casual way his fingers brushed the doorframe in a fleeting acknowledgment sent a flutter of anticipation through her. He never quite belonged at these formal events, but somehow, he always managed to make it work—damn well, too.

Her gaze flicked up, just for a moment. He was scanning the room, eyes sharp but relaxed, looking for her like she was the only person here that mattered. And when their eyes finally met, a small grin tugged at the corner of his mouth, his expression softening in that way that made her heart pound a little harder than she’d care to admit. He could be all business when he needed to be—charming the crowd, shaking hands with a firm grip, his posture straight and serious—but right now, his focus was locked on her.

He made his way over, stopping to exchange pleasantries, the occasional handshake, a nod to some official who probably expected him to be more engaged. But all the while, his gaze would flick back to her, lingering like a private joke shared between them across the room. The closer he got, the harder it became to keep her composure, her pulse quickening as he finally closed the distance.

"Sorry I’m late," he murmured, sliding into the seat next to her, his voice low enough that only she could hear. It was that voice—the one he used when they were alone, intimate in a way that made her want to forget they were surrounded by high-ranking officials and polished silverware. "Traffic was hell."

She didn’t look at him right away, though she could feel the warmth of him so close now, the faint scent of his cologne mixing with the clean, subtle musk that was just him. Instead, she leaned slightly closer, enough that her bare arm brushed against the sleeve of his jacket, her lips barely curving as she whispered, "You’re going to regret making me wait."

He chuckled softly under his breath, a sound that sent a ripple of heat straight through her. "I’ve been regretting it since I walked through the door."

She barely had time to smirk in response before she reached up to her ear, fingers brushing over her earring as if adjusting it. Then, with a deliberate tilt of her head, she let it drop, the small piece of jewelry landing softly on the carpet under the table. She made a small, exaggerated sigh, leaning just a little closer to him.

"Oops," she whispered, her lips almost grazing the curve of his jaw before she leaned back, placing her hand on his thigh, pushing herself up slightly as she slipped out of her chair and ducked under the table.

He froze, the low conversation at the table above them seeming to blur into the background as she disappeared from view. She moved slowly, deliberately, taking her time as she reached for the earring that had “fallen,” her fingers grazing his ankle, then his shin. The proximity was dangerous, thrilling. He could feel the brush of her breath against his leg, her soft, teasing touch dragging higher, lingering near his knee.

Above, he cleared his throat, eyes darting around to make sure no one was paying attention. His body tensed under her touch, but his expression remained carefully composed. "You’re playing with fire," he muttered through clenched teeth, his hand gripping the edge of the table just a little tighter.

She didn’t respond, not with words anyway. Instead, she let her hand slide higher, nails grazing the fabric of his pants as she shifted under the table, taking her sweet time retrieving the earring. Her lips brushed the inside of his thigh, featherlight, sending a jolt through him that he barely managed to suppress. The anticipation of it all—the forbidden teasing in such a public setting—made the heat between them burn that much hotter.

Finally, she slipped back into her chair, the earring held daintily between her fingers as she shot him an innocent smile, like nothing had just happened. Her heart raced, adrenaline rushing through her veins, but she played it cool, setting the earring back in place with slow, deliberate movements.

"Got it," she whispered, her lips grazing just near his ear before she leaned back into her seat, though the warmth of her body still clung to him, an intoxicating reminder.

He exhaled, a little shakier than he intended, his fingers brushing her thigh beneath the table—a silent, fleeting promise that this wasn’t over. Not even close.

As if on cue, her fingers slipped back under the table, moving so casually it could’ve been mistaken for adjusting her napkin. The moment her hand made contact, he stiffened, a barely noticeable shift in his seat—except she noticed. She always did. Her fingers teased his thigh, just the faintest brush through the fabric of his pants, as if daring to see how far she could go without anyone around them suspecting.

"Relax," she breathed, lips barely moving, her eyes forward on the conversation around them as if nothing was amiss. The teasing glint in her gaze stayed fixed on the speakers at the table, but her attention was all on him, on the way he shifted under her touch. "You deserve a little distraction after keeping me waiting."

His breath caught in his throat as her hand inched higher, teasingly slow, tracing the firm muscles of his thigh with an almost affectionate familiarity. Every touch was deliberate, calculated, but still light enough to drive him insane with anticipation. Her thumb brushed up his inner leg, circling the sensitive area just above his knee, her hand resting there as if to remind him she was in control.

"You're lucky no one's looking under this table," she murmured under her breath, her voice low, barely above a whisper. Her fingers slid up again, grazing closer and closer to his growing hardness. She could feel the tension radiating off of him, the way his posture had stiffened, legs spread just a little wider to give her more room to work her mischief.

He shifted, turning his head slightly to glance at her, a mixture of warning and desperation in his eyes. "Don’t push it," he muttered, but his voice was strained, betraying how much he wanted her to keep going.

"Or what?" she teased, her lips curving into a smug smile. Her hand brushed over his bulge now, just enough pressure to make him twitch in response, his breath catching as she pressed her palm firmly against him, rubbing in slow, deliberate strokes. "You’re not exactly in a position to make demands right now."

He swallowed hard, jaw tightening, his hand gripping the edge of the table to keep himself grounded. She was relentless, fingers trailing lightly along the length of him through the fabric, tracing every inch as though she had all the time in the world. It was a dangerous game—one she was winning, and they both knew it.

"Good boy," she whispered, her voice barely audible as her hand squeezed him, a little firmer this time. His reaction was instant—his hips shifted, pushing subtly into her hand as if he couldn’t help himself. The praise hit him hard, that mix of teasing and genuine affection that always got under his skin in ways he couldn’t explain.

She leaned in closer, lips brushing his ear as she kept stroking him under the table. "You like it when I take care of you like this, don’t you?" Her voice was soft, almost sweet, a complete contrast to the filthy things she was doing beneath the tablecloth.

His breath came out in short, shallow bursts, the need building inside him with every subtle stroke of her hand. He wanted to reach out, stop her, or at least make her slow down, but the way she kept praising him, teasing him—it was making it impossible to think straight.

"You’ve been so good since you got here," she continued, voice dropping lower, more intimate. "Sitting here, pretending like nothing’s happening… but we both know you’re losing it under that suit." Her fingers curled slightly, pressing harder against him, her movements quickening just enough to drive him to the edge of control. "I think you like it, being all buttoned up while I do this. Makes you feel dirty, doesn’t it?"

He let out a quiet groan, barely audible but enough to make her grin in satisfaction. She could feel how hard he was now, the tension burning off him as she worked him with slow, rhythmic strokes. The urge to tease him even more, to push him just a little further, was overwhelming.

"Keep it together," she whispered, her lips brushing his earlobe. "Think of it like a stealth mission. Don’t get us caught... unless that’s what you’re after?"

He sucked in a breath, trying to maintain some semblance of composure, but her words were unraveling him, piece by piece. The gentle praise, the way her hand worked him over through his clothes—it was making it impossible to focus on anything other than the heat building between them.

Her fingers pressed harder, stroking him in steady, relentless movements, her thumb brushing over the head of his erection just enough to drive him insane. "You’re doing so good for me," she whispered, the words slipping out with an almost sultry affection. "Just stay quiet… and let me take care of you."

His breathing was ragged now, chest rising and falling as he struggled to keep his composure. She knew she had him exactly where she wanted him—on the edge, teetering between control and the desperate need for release, all while they sat surrounded by dignitaries and officials, none the wiser.

"You’re gonna pay for this," he growled out through clenched teeth, his voice low, filled with barely restrained need.

She smirked, leaning in one last time to whisper, "I’m counting on it." Then, with a final squeeze, she pulled her hand away, leaving him on the brink of madness, breathless and aching under the table, longing for something more.

As he regained his composure, the conversation at the table shifted, the voices of the other guests mingling like background noise, just as one of the older officials—a stern-faced man in his sixties—turned to him.

“Kennedy,” the man said, raising an eyebrow with a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. “You’re cutting it a bit close tonight. Care to share what kept you? We were beginning to think you’d bailed on us.”

Leon’s face didn’t flinch; he’d been trained for this kind of thing—quick thinking, flawless execution. He straightened up in his seat, hands resting casually on the tablecloth, and offered a small, apologetic smile.

“Well, you know how it is," he began smoothly, his voice calm, not missing a beat. "Duty calls at the worst times, and traffic through D.C. isn’t exactly forgiving—especially when you’re coming from a briefing.” He met the man’s gaze, unflinching, the picture of professionalism.

But just as he delivered the perfect answer, he felt it—a sudden, deliberate squeeze against his thigh. Her hand had found its way back under the table, fingers pressing firmly, teasingly, right over the same spot she had been tormenting earlier. His body jolted involuntarily, and his breath caught in his throat.

He coughed—a sharp, sudden sound that made everyone at the table glance in his direction. His cheeks flushed instantly, a heat rising up his neck as the smooth façade he’d been maintaining cracked under the pressure of her playful touch. He glanced down, just barely, eyes narrowing in warning, but the smirk on her face was unmistakable.

Before he could gather himself, she chimed in, her voice laced with playful innocence. “I, for one, am just glad he never arrives early,” she said with a perfectly straight face, her hand squeezing him again just as the last word left her lips.

Leon barely managed to regain his composure, but the heat radiating from his face was unmistakable. He shifted in his seat, praying no one noticed the subtle tension in his posture. Ashley had retreated her hand, but the teasing, devilish smile on her lips told him she still wasn’t done. Not yet.

Once the spotlight shifted away from them and the conversation at the table resumed, he felt her lean in close again, her lips grazing the sensitive skin of his ear as her hand slipped back into his lap. His heart raced, the heat radiating from her presence, the delicate movements of her fingers, and the softness of her breath igniting something primal within him that he could no longer contain.

“You always come right on time for me,” she whispered, her voice low, sultry, the words laced with double meaning that sent a jolt of heat straight through him.

And just like that, his body betrayed him.

His breath hitched, barely controlled, as a sudden wave of intense pleasure surged through him—sharp and overwhelming. His hands tightened into fists under the table, his muscles going rigid as he fought to keep from making any sound, the sensation crashing through him with a force he hadn't expected. His heart pounded in his ears, his pulse throbbing as the world around him blurred.

He was coming, right there at the table, his body betraying him with a shudder he could barely keep in check. It was quick, desperate, and utterly humiliating, yet the rush of pleasure was undeniable. He clenched his jaw, his teeth gritting as he struggled to hold back any outward sign, but he could feel the wetness pooling against the fabric of his briefs, soaking through.

Ashley pulled back slightly, her gaze flicking over him knowingly, a hint of satisfaction in her eyes as if she could sense exactly what had just happened. And before he could fully recover, she leaned in one more time, her lips brushing his cheek in the softest, most delicate kiss.

It was innocent enough on the surface—just a sweet gesture, nothing out of the ordinary for anyone paying attention. But the pressure of her lips against his skin, the way they lingered, the suggestive warmth in her voice when she whispered, “I told you you’d pay for being late,” made it anything but innocent.

Leon couldn’t respond. His body still trembled with the aftershocks of release, his mind barely catching up to what had just happened, and he was left speechless, still flushed with both pleasure and mortification. The sensation, the intensity of it, made him dizzy.

Ashley, for her part, sat back in her chair, completely composed, a satisfied smile playing on her lips as though nothing had happened. She didn't even glance his way again, as if she'd already won, leaving him to stew in his embarrassment while the dinner conversation continued around them.

Leon swallowed hard, still processing everything, his gaze darting around the table to ensure no one had noticed his moment of weakness. But as Ashley shifted beside him, her hand lightly brushing his under the table in a silent reassurance, a warm comfort settled in his chest.

Despite it all, she had him—completely and utterly—and now they just needed to survive the rest of the evening. They waited patiently for the others to leave, cherishing their private moment amidst the surrounding noise. Finally, he turned to her, a hint of guilt in his eyes. “I’m really sorry for being late,” he murmured.

She met his gaze with a teasing smile, her eyes sparkling. “Don’t worry about it. I think we’re even now—after all, I made you arrive on time in front of everyone.”

[blocksruinedme]

(hi there! sorry if this is disrespectful or anything, feel free to delete this ask! i was just concerned because in the comments of jimmy's recent videos, it seems that he might make a video reacting to fanfictions...

very concerning! especially because it seems like he didn't contact the creators of the edits in newest video beforehand. no offense to him, but i genuinely do not trust him to handle fanfiction in a respectful way. he's very hard-working, but he's getting dangerously content-brained!

anyways, the reason i'm sending this ask to you is because you seem to frequent his streams a lot. VERY sorry if this is disrespectful to ask, but if you do attend his next stream, is it ok to ask that you try and send a message in his chat? i would myself, but he streams after midnight where i live T^T i really hope that someone well-versed in the rules of fandom spaces (maybe scott (ｰ ｰ;) ) can talk him out of it, but i would be very grateful if any chatters could discourage him during his next live.

thank you very much for reading!!)

-a shy chinese anon who experienced the banning of ao3 in china because fans of a celebrity mass-reported an rpf fic to the government :<

(Hey shy anon, I didn't show up until a little after the ban, but I was on the english side of that fandom so i know a lot. my eternal condolences, I'll never stop being upset about what happened!)

It is not at all disrespectful to ask politely, which you have! I am not going to send a message in his chat because it is an absolute hellhole, but people I know have left thoughtful comments on his youtube, which I think is 20x more useful. He sees those in his own time and can think about it. Chat is running nonstop, super fast, you get instant reaction in the chat from all kinds of sorts - seriously i love jimmy and i have nothing against younger people, but holy hell that chat is mostly intolerable to read. Most streams I don't even have it visible. Jimmy has very little time to think in response to chat messages, it can't be nuanced, and the first thing he says is now public record.

Overall, I don't think Jimmy will react to fanfic. If he does (and I've been wrong predicting Jimmy before!), it's going to be something like Wholesome Seablings Adventures. I can not imagine Jimmy reading ship fic - unless I guess it's incredibly pg canon-ship? There's all kinds of "pg youtubers", and Jimmy's more on the Katherine side of thing, appealing to families and genuinely little kids. If you look at the saucy things he lets in, you generally need some real non-pg context for it to feel non-pg. (there's always exceptions)

When people demand he address shipping he tries to say as little as possible. He's been shown nsfw fanart while he was streaming. He knows what is going on and he's not going to touch that. He's thoughtful when it counts, and since these aren't stream reacts, he has time to think hard about what he's actually going to use. So if he did do fanfic, there would be plenty of never seen footage of Jimmy of going "holy moly!" and moving on. When it matters, he is generally thoughtful and respectful.

Like the time he realized he was confused about asexuality (he didn't know about aromanticism) and slowed down to be really careful he didn't say anything accidentally hurtful. (for context shelby is ace but dates and he knows that. look at his poor little face trying to understand.)

Maybe he'll mess up this time, I sure hope not, but I'm not personally freaking out.

Also, exactly one time he opened tumblr on stream, it was the sexyman poll, and he read my reply to the post (i'm the one who called him a wet paper bag of a man, my claim to fame.) I showed up to apologize, he was a sweetheart, and he said this about tumblr, that he knows we want our own private space. He's respectful at heart.

I am not on tiktok, but until your ask, I'll admit it never occurred to me he might contact the creators before reacting. Thinking on it, I guess I think of TikTok like youtube, where it is loudly tossed out at the whole world for attention, but I'm not on TikTok.

And why do I think ao3 is different? Well, I have no coherent answer besides "vibes" and "more contained audience" and "everyone knows everyone is on youtube and tiktok".

Here are some more Jimmy clips I've wanted to share on tumblr for one reason or another.

In the end, I have been hyperfixating on this man for sixteen months and I believe it'll be okay. If I'm wrong, well. We'll make it through this, gang. We'll take care of each other and keep going. Nothing's stopped us yet!

If you want to say something to Jimmy, leave a yt comment, don't go into his stream, please, not there, you'll just provoke people and he might have to respond to that, please

Everyone out there who read ao3 not logged in - go log in, people are locking things.

People on ao3, lock or don't lock, as you see fit!

(also joel lizzie and oli did fanfic readings/reenactments/whatever years ago, including writing their own snippets, i got through like 90 seconds of one, youtube at your own risk.)

[isa-ghost]

hey it's the anon who asked what dr*m did,

I decided to do my own research (mainly cause I was curious) but... I can't find much? let me rephrase it - I did find the allegations from 6ish months ago, that he's going to court with one(?) of them, but that's... all? I didn't find the court's verdict, confirmations, or him admitting either... and any post or video I find has both the OP and the comments mostly on his side and believing that it's either not true or true but not grooming, even people who say they're not his fans or don't even like him.

so Im not sure if the confirmation didn't reach youtube or if I'm searching wrong or something?

but honestly while researching I realized that I cant stand him lmao, gotta agree with some comments I read - he made a mistake by showing more of his personality online, looks like any time he can handle a situation wrong/respond wrong he does it

so dunno, guess I didnt find the confirmation but at least now I don't find his old minecraft videos interesting anymore so theres that

Yeah he can't act properly to save his fucking life

Also I think most of the threads on Twitter and stuff that have all the proof he's guilty/etc is probably long buried, unfortunately. You could probably try to ask around saying you're trying to get the whole picture but tbh it's not a huge deal if you can't. You can try searching my blog but Tumblr sucks with that shit. The fact that this and his other controversies have been buried and lost to the void of the internet is typical white boy with a monstrously big platform shit so I'm not surprised. I never heard any details about court (prob for legal reasons) or a conviction either. All I know is there was screenshot proof from the victim that they talked, and Dr*m confirmed the screenshots were real but didn't say anything about other details. But those details literally can't be false if the screenshots & the shit said in them are true.

Anyway, as far as his other bullshit goes:

People found old kkk meme edits on his yt account through the wayback machine. More than once if I'm not mistaken

He has a history of defending himself using the r slur

He cheated "on accident" in a speedrun (the least important thing ever but everyone always brings it up)

He claimed he was going to donate all proceeds during pride month to lgbt+ charities & he'd do charity streams all month but never did

He defended himself about replying to haters, which would send thousands of his toxic stans after the person getting them doxxed/death threats/etc and he refused to address that it was irresponsible of him bc he was too entitled to immaturely clap back at the antis. Even other ccs, like B/itzel called him out about shit related to how he uses his platform irresponsibly & he unfollowed & shaded them like a bitch baby

The whole "accidental" copycat shit with QSMP/USMP and basically softcore stalking Q/uackity online.

His "apologies" for all of the above fucking sucked in multiple ways. And that's just 2021-Now shit I can remember off the top of my head, I lost my Twitter in May last year so now I get my info from people's posts about it on here or links to tweets.

Everyone largely suspects he spontaneously reignited d/smp lore & started the finale to cover up the groomer thing bc he has a history of doing smth "new and cool" every time he causes drama to divert attention and avoid accountability.

He's also suspected of suddenly rewriting the d/smp finale to paint his Irredeemable Abuser Villain Up Until The Last Stream as a sympathetic poor baby out of nowhere and wrote that his victim, c!Tommy apologized to him, which sends a HORRIBLE message about abusive relationships. T/ommy and T/ubbo have both subtly mentioned not liking the finale and that Dr*m had AWFUL communication during the last like 6+ months of the smp.

He also suddenly showed up in T/ubbo's chat lurking while T/ubbo happened to be mentioning he'd do his own research on the grooming situation instead of blindly siding with Dr*m and it was some shit out of a horror movie is2g, he suddenly dmed T/ubbo out of nowhere during it on discord saying they'd talk about it after T/ubbo wasn't streaming. Basically sounds like he was gonna bias T/ubbo about his innocence. Like he hadn't been in chat all stream long but SUDDENLY he was there the second the topic came up. But the d/smp ccs also can't say anything about the situation since it's a legal matter, so a handful of ccs have just stated/implied they don't support him other ways

He only quit MCC bc he threw a tantrum about how he couldn't practice for it but now that MCC island exists, people were getting better than him. He's habitually a sore loser about that kinda shit

He's got that whole weird "is he, isn't he" bullshit going on about him being lgbt. I personally think he's just catering to his stupid d/n/f shippers bc they like to truth their relationship & sexuality all the time and he's never explicitly said he's bi or smth. He's just vaguely been like "yeeeaahhhh I mostly like girls like 99% but maaaayyybeee I like guys idkkkk. 🤪" But he's also done that multiple times so who tf knows. I'm not gonna fully dismiss him & I understand no one including me is entitled to his specific sexuality, but he has garbage credibility on like everything so I'm neutral on the matter and find it hard to believe him

Not directly him related, but his stans went on a long and horrifying witch hunt on Twitter during the kkk ordeal doxxing, death threatening & harassing ENTIRE mcyt subtwts who spoke out against him and called him out on his racism, performative activism, shitty apology, etc. For example, I was part of S/neeg's subtwt and all my mutuals and me had to go private to avoid getting doxxed. It felt like being raided in some dystopian ass horror film. Entire subtwts were going private, panicking, paranoid they'd get outed & stalked & harassed by people just for condemning racism, raising Black voices, etc. It was borderline traumatic to some people, I know people who lost sleep over it bc they were so afraid.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head but the end of 2021 to early 2022 was a fucking nightmare between him being an immature entitled piece of shit and his stans blindly defending him and going out of their way to endanger people who rightfully opposed him.

[flower1622]

Hey, this is so random but I just wanted to let you know I stumbled across your blog after not seeing it for months and I can see a noticeable improvement in your writing. In all honesty I used to (silently, I’d never send hate mail) judge your writing but it’s hard to do that when I can obviously tell you’ve gotten better. Like it’s truly improved since like January/February. Anyways super random but I just thought you’d like to know that your growth as a writer is noticeable

One thing though, if you want more people to read your work, I’d recommend using parentheses (“Percy, what are you doing?” Asked annabeth) and not dashes (-Percy, what are you doing?- asked annabeth). A lot of people (myself included) are less likely to read fics with formatting issues like that. Anyways it’s your work so feel free to ignore that (genuinely, you do you) but I just figured I’d throw that out there if you wanted your fics to gain a bigger audience

Also I just wanted to apologize bc even if I never said anything I was being shitty for judging your work. You’re not hurting anyone and you seem like a nice person and you’re obviously working on getting better at your craft, so I applaud you for that. Anyways. If I ever lurk on your blog again it will be to congratulate you for the growth of your writing skills. I genuinely wish you nothing but the best, have a good day<3

Thanks Anon for this message! It means a lot to me that someone recognized my work, I guess. 😅

I liked your suggestion, but the only problem to me is that I have difficulty to read with (") instead of (-). A big audience it's always good, but if the person doesn't get interested in my stories or writing, it's okay too. I'm learning to value my own work, even if it's not perfect. I try to improve, of course. However, if people end up liking or reading one of my stories, it will be something good too, but it's not really my focus right now. I like to write fanfics for fun. There was a person that thought I was a great author. God bless this person's soul! It made me really happy to be recognized at least by someone else. So, thank you so much for the suggestion. Maybe in the future, I'll try to use it (even with my problem to read this way 😅). If you ever felt or thought something about my writing, it's also okay. Everyone has your opinion about something. People who think like that are not wrong either. I always try to warn others that I'm not a good writer. So, if anyone ever sees my posts or stories, please don't take them too serious. I'm really not a good writer. English is not my first idiom either. I feel limited by it. I'm sorry if people get bothered by my writing sometimes. It's really complicated to write a story in an idiom you don't dominate 100%. I have to search on internet how to write some things in english. So, for the people who like my writing, I just ask a little patience. 😅🤣

Thanks again for the ask, Anon! I like when someone is honest with me. It's always good to see other opinions. So, if someone wants to send me an ask about something, you can do too.

[mbbsgf]

MIGHT BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME !

okay, so this is a way more detailed version of the paragraph i just wrote (i'm probably gonna get emotional, i apologize in advance). 2023 was one tough year itself. i don't think i'll mention some of the things that happened because it's too personal bug i'll "try my best" i guess. i hate how life treated me this year. i'm so for real, it has been so mean to me. it just kept punching me in my weak spots. and it punched hard. really hard. i honestly don't know how i survived 2023, i guess i stayed strong for my future even though it gives me bad anxiety. i didn't wanna be a "failed teenager", i didn't wanna see my mom cry, i didn't wanna give up. well, i did but i decided not to. it's pointless to give up. you're in pain so you think ending your life will help but it doesn't. your pain is just temporary. you have your whole life ahead of you. it gets better. i know it's easy to say but i used to not believe it either but i'm getting better. i've been in this insufferable pain since 2021 and trust me, it wasn't easy at all and it wasn't easy at all to get better either but it took me 2 years to start getting better. you just have to wait, i promise you gets better. trust the process, stay healthy and hydrated and everything will be fine. you guys text me if you need to talk or anything else. i promise you i'll always be here. you're never alone. ever. there's always people that care and will listen to what we you have to say. i care and will listen to you. don't ever invalidate your feelings, babies. ever, it's such a disgusting thing to do to yourself. you deserve to share your feelings with someone trusted, if not me then one of your friends. just talk to someone if you ever feel like you're not okay. you should suffer in silence just because you think you're gonna annoy the person you're talking to or because you think it doesn't matter. it does matter. you matter. don't ever forget that you are loved and cared for. you deserve to speak up and to tell your stories. mental health isn't something that should be joked about. if you aren't okay, reach out for help but please don't joke it out or anything. i used (and still do tbh) to joke about my traumas as a coping mechanism. it's stupid, yes. i'm aware but i genuinely don't know how to communicate. i'm working on it but it's hard as someone who barely opens up. well, looks like this turned out to be more of a mental health late session talk, i really hope you guys are okay and if you're not that you'll reach out for help. you know, i'm only a dm away. i'll always answer except if i'm sleeping but tumblr is the first app i open in the morning so i will see your messages if you send some. you can dm me or even do anons to share your stories with other people and me. it can be anonymous or not. it depends on you. anyway, it's starting to get late. i hope i helped even if it's just a little bit. i love you guys so much and you matter. 🩷

-marie

[elliespuns]

I think by posting the mean anon you enabled hate and bulling towards Bella, but you also owned up to it and apologized. At which point it should be over. The fact that people just won`t let it go is just unkind. We all make mistakes and the idea that you can never be off the hook is just nuts to me. Its like we can never learn from it and do better. And yes we can, you`re a good example of that.

I hope you`ll have a better day tomorrow.

And to all the holier than thou peeps: Have you really never messed up? Done something careless or stupid and felt bad after? How were you treated after? And how would you like to be treated? With a bit of understanding and kindness? Or with nuclear missiles?

Another issue (except for the one where I was being an ass) was that people were angry that I didn't delete the post right away. The problem is that I share my posts in the evening of my time, and then I go to bed and wake up for work. Which means at least 17 hours without checking my blog and knowing what's happening over here when I am working. That was the reason why the post was hanging there for almost a day.

I did delete it immediately after I opened my notifications and saw the madness that I caused. Some other people reblogged the post because they were angry and needed to vent their thoughts, so it's probably still out there, though. Hopefully, no one will reblog it again, and the people who did reblog it will delete it too, making it all disappear. I hope it won't get shared again. I haven't been thinking of anything else for the last day, and I feel pretty bad about it still being out there, honestly. Because I really did mean no harm.

For a while, I was thinking not posting about the show anymore. Because what I fear is that the people I pissed off won't let it be and will continue reblogging my stuff with ugly comments, keeping the drama alive. Yet I want to participate in the discussions and hype because there are still things I love about the show. I still enjoy talking about it and sharing opinions, insights, and theories. Also, opinions can change over time. I wish people understood that me saying one thing NOW doesn't mean I'm going to be saying the same thing LATER be there anything that changes my mind in the meantime.

Thank you for being so kind. Luckily, many of you who have been following me for almost the whole time I have had this blog know that I never trash-talked Bella or any other actor (or even a fictional character), and you stayed considerate even after I did something out of character. Kudos to all of you.

I know that nothing we do is without consequences, so I deserved what I got, but honestly, I wish to not talk about it any more on this blog. If you have anything to say about this (be in nice or bad), you can message me or send an ask, but I won't be posting those concerning this mess anymore.

Anyway, I'm babbling now. Thanks for all your love, kids. Although I don't deserve it now, I still truly feel bad.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for blocking my ex after he broke up with me?

I already tried to break up with him a week into the relationship because I didn’t feel like I was ready for one, but he insisted he wanted to make it work, so we stayed together for a while longer. I liked being friends with him because I have AvPD and he always made sure I didn’t feel pressured to instantly respond to him ever because that stresses me the fuck out and sends me into prey animal mode, but he always said he was trying to be accommodating and patient.

However, I kinda disappeared off the face of the internet for about a month while I was stuck deep in animation crunch working on a project for school, I didn’t talk to ANYBODY, him included, and at this point I had also decided I would break up with my ex using the old “it’s not you it’s me” card after I finished and submitted that project, because not only did the “not feeling ready for the relationship” feeling never go away, but he would also corner me into REALLY explicit sexual discussions in public discord servers, which granted I should have asserted boundaries about but I was worried I was overreacting. After my initial failed breakup attempt, most of the time we talked was in group chats because it greatly eased the pressure of me having to be involved in a one-on-one conversation and it made me worry slightly less about him taking shit as far as he had in our DMs that scared me into trying to break up in the first place because maybe if there was an audience he wouldn’t go That Far. If he had a problem with talking in group chats more than DMs, he NEVER brought it up to me, he just assured me he wanted me to be comfortable.

But, before I got a chance to break up with him, he suddenly messaged me talking about how we needed to talk about how I was being selfish and ghosting him. I was currently still busy working on animating, so while panicking and feeling extremely guilty about it I tried to think up an apology and response to send him when I was done for the night and even available to talk, but again, before I got the chance to, like ten minutes later, he sent another message breaking up with me and kinda-sorta berating me for my AvPD, saying the only reasons the relationship didn’t work was entirely my fault, not accepting blame for Anything he might’ve done wrong, not even acknowledging that I had already attempted to break up with him before.

At least my plan to break up with him would’ve just been shouldering all the blame onto myself, but this at least took the pressure away and ended it on a sour enough note that I was scared to ever talk to him again, so I blocked him on all socials and like any sad gay tumblr boy would I vented about feeling bad about the whole thing on my blog.

AND THEN, I suddenly receive two consecutive anons that didn’t explicitly reveal an identity but were clearly written by him because they mentioned shit only he (or someone he talked about me behind my back with, I guess) would know, despite the fact I never told him my tumblr AND he repeatedly insistently said he never used tumblr, leading me to the conclusion that he had been stalking me on tumblr the whole time without me knowing, which freaked me the fuck out even more because I already have cyberstalking-related trauma. Anyway the anons AGAIN berated me for everything, painting my ex as an innocent angel who didn’t do anything wrong, I was the one ignoring him (and everyone, I didn’t talk to ANYONE while in crunch), “thriving on instagram” (not true, I also was barely fucking at all active on insta during this time??), “forgot our sixth month anniversary” (I didn’t even know that was a thing people celebrated and if it was no one told me that was something I should be concerned about and I wasn’t keeping track of the date, only the one year anniversary), “too childish and immature for a relationship” (again, I’d already tried to break up with him before because I said I wasn’t ready), among other things that I forget. It was a numbered list of either seven or eleven things, I forget because this happened back in February, but those are the ones that stuck in my mind the most. Since I was already in a state of panic I answered both asks publicly (had no other choice, they were on anon), and all my mutuals frantically came to my defense and tore my ex’s shit to shreds.

That’s the last I ever heard from him, and considering the anon jumpscare fiasco I’m glad I blocked him because I’d prefer not to be with the type of person that does something like that, but considering it wouldn’t have happened at all if I hadn’t blocked him, I can’t help but wonder….AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[nereidprinc3ss]

hi lovers im just letting you know that for now im gonna stop taking requests because if you’ve been following me for a while you know i almost never actually get to them and it feels like false advertising to have them open if im just not gonna respond usually😭 i have gotten a few rlly good ones recently that im gonna be working on tho!!

and just preemptively please don’t apologize or feel bad for sending me requests cause i just have a feeling people are gonna be like “omg im sorry if that was annoying” or something and it wasn’t!! i said my requests were open and im just a lame loser girl who doesn’t rlly do them anyway!! so EYE am sorry!!

BUT KEEP IN MIND MY INBOX IS ALWAYS OPEN FOR LITERALLY ANYTHING like feedback, things that interested you, random things from your day, even suggestions and things you’d like to see more of in my fics! but as of now taking a break from good ole “can i see spencer doing x with x reader because x” like requests that specific i won’t be doing

again i’m sorry im lame i truly appreciate every single request you send even if i never got around to it😭 honestly it shocks me when people bother to say ANYTHING to me so words and anon messages r always greatly appreciated

anyways i love u :”) hope ur all having a good day mwah

[heartshapedbubble]

HIIII guess who finally finished the fic they've been putting off for literal months 😇😇😇😇 um anyways this is for the lovely anon who wanted a sequel to the "the person i once knew" oneshot mwah ily you know who you are!!!

anyways after this i have some orphy content for a very sweet commissioner and then i'll do the rest of the asks!! 💓

the person i once knew, part 2🦎

i gave up on the concept of proofreading whats that????, slightish cw for blood and some veeery light stuff, my god the writing sucks, gender neutral reader as usual, sorry for the wait anon, i lvoe lchino druiuse send message

-------------------------------------------------------

"Please...let me die a painless death."

That sentence gradually lost meaning with all the times it crossed your mind, gripping the reins of your psyche and making you flinch out of nowhere. The way it echoed in your head kept you awake for hundreds of nights: it was very obviously your voice, yet so unreachable, so distant, as if it crawled out from the deepest parts of your consciousness and made its way to your throat. But at the same time, it gradually unlocked a new emotion: fear. Death was basically gnawing at your ankles, and somehow, you're still alive, with both your feet on the ground and your head up. And the scariest thing was that all your memories of the day were a blurry mess, each of them overlapping, disconnecting and constantly shifting, leaving holes in your mind. You could have escaped death by pure luck, and you would never fully know.

Trying to reminisce of the day it happened was like playing a scratched record. Sometimes you saw vivid pictures, sometimes everything was pitch black, and sometimes it was just that gut-twisting feeling of anxiety and pressure. Only a few pictures materialized in your mind, awakening various sensations and making the hairs on your arms stand up straight. The scorching feeling of the unsharpened, rusty knife in your stomach. Hearing the unbearable screams, whimpers, and sighs of people that were surrounding you. The doctor's sickly pale face and veiny, thin hands illuminated by the unbearably bright yet depressing hospital light. Feeling your own sweat turn ice cold in a flash. It would be so easy to align the pieces of your memory if it wasn't for the constant shuffling, and, of course, your unavoidable feeling that there was a key puzzle piece missing, the one thing that would make everything click in place.

And of course, there was him. How could you even forget that?

Through all of your nightmares and dreams, even when you jolted and suddenly woke up panting and covered in cold sweat, the first thing that flashed in front of your eyes was him. A man so familliar which you simply couldn't name, the first letter always lying on the top of your tongue and never going further than that. Whenever you curled up under your bedsheets, you could smell the sweet fragrance of his hair, and often the warmth of his fingertips that gently traced along the soft lines of your body. And during hot summer nights, you felt the weight of his head on your chest as you got lulled to sleep by the soothing scent of lavender coming from your bedside table. It was kind of embarrassing, how easily you let yourself fall into a stranger's embrace and rest your cheek against his soft skin, woven out of threads of your memory. Perhaps you yearned for more than the pads of his fingers - you often found yourself dreaming of the feeling of his lips melding with yours, a lone string of saliva being the only thing separating them, and his warm breath grazing your ski-

"I apologize for interrupting your daydreaming, dear, but could I get my paycheck? I finished checking and dressing your wound some time ago."

You flinched, and the bright light from the ceiling blinded you again - you were so absorbed in your fantasy that you forgot you were looking at it in the first place. Disoriented, you looked around in panic, only to be met with the doctor's droopy eyes tiredly glaring back at you.

"I-I'm sorry, ma'am, I- I really zoned out, I-" You were a stuttering mess, your cheeks heating up over the mere thought of the doctor watching you drift away. "No worries, sweetheart, I've seen worse.", the doctor replied, taking off the rubber gloves off of her hands. Unintentionally, you found yourself inspecting her features. She seemed disheveled, but still elegant - her sickly pale skin was decorated with various moles, and a lone pearl earring hung from her ear, the milky shine standing out from the plain working dress she wore. "Also, feel free to call me Emily. We'll be hanging out for quite some time until your wound fully heals, so why not be on friendly terms?" She smiled back at you. Her smile didn't last long, but it seemed as if she fought through her sleepiness and stress just to make your face light up for a moment. You couldn't stop yourself from grinning back at her, I mean, it's just human nature, isn't it? You thought to yourself.

Emily was a doctor assigned to help you out after your injury, one of the people you first saw after waking up from the wound-induced coma. Even though she was presumably overworked and not incredibly talkative, you could notice her slowly warming up to you with each visit, treating you with soft smiles every time she put on fresh bandages on your wound and stitched any stray cut that wasn't caught by the fabric wrapped around your waist. It was fascinating, watching her hand work - calculated, precise and fast like a needle on a sewing machine.

"Thanks for helping me out again, ma- I mean, Emily", you mumbled after clumsily wiggling out of your bed. "No worries, darling. Just remember to clean the wound every day, and avoid bending yourself over and doing physical work." She replied, draping her cloak around her shoulders.

You reached into the cupboard in your room, and tucked a thin stack of cash into the small pocket of her cloak. "Here. I gave you extra this time. Thanks again, you have no idea how much I value your help." You said and smiled again. Emily's eyebrows drooped. "Are you sure? That's way more than I need..." she worriedly whispered as you led her to the doorstep. "Don't worry about it!" you whispered back. She sighed. "Then I have no other option other than thank you for your generosity." You were treated by one of her gentle smiles yet again, dimples gracing both of her cheeks. "Well, I have to go now. I'll come over in a week or two. Just remember to take your painkillers if the abdominal pain becomes unbearable - such periods of pain are normal as the wound is still healing. Oh- I'm pretty sure they already arrived, yes?" She pointed her foot at the small bundle of cardboard packages and letters by your doorstep. "Anyways, take care. And remember-"

"I know - no overworking!"

A smile graced her face once again before she turned her back towards you and disappeared in the chilly autumn fog.

You sighed as you crouched to pick up today's mail. It was nothing special - your brown box of painkillers, a letter regarding rent, and an...

"... Invitation?" Your teeth stabbed into your bottom lip. It was, undoubtedly, an invitation - the yellowish envelope stood out from the pile, a weird symbol stamped onto the wax covering the opening. Your finger carefully traced the seal, and you didn't know if it was just your imagination, but you swore it was still heated, even though it was solid. Your gaze bounced onto the edges of the envelope, slightly scorched and crumbling with every touch.

You held the envelope in front of yourself - to open it, or not to open it? Your first instict was tearing it apart, but the longer you inspected the envelope, the more anxious you felt. Who could possibly be the mysterious sender behind it? There wasn't any information about the sender anywhere other than the enigmatic wax seal.

Letter opener in one hand, the edge of the letter in other, you sliced through the wax and the tightly pressed paper. You reached into the envelope, pulling out a small, crumbled piece of paper. It seemed like it was ripped straight out of a notebook, and through the blotchy handwriting, you made out the letters - it was an address. This has to be some sort of a scam. First, vague information, then, this messy writing, then... you muttered to yourself, about to shove the paper back into the envelope. Then you felt something thicker your fingers, bulging from under the textured pergament.

"There's more...?"

You pulled out a piece of laminated, silky smooth paper. Squinting, you deciphered the letters hidden behind the blotches of ink:

____ and Luchino Diruse.

You flipped the paper.

There was a picture of two people gently holding each other in an embrace, their fingers intertwined. One of them being you, and the other....

You'd recognize that face anywhere.

It was him.

~

Your stupidity and impulsiveness was amusing. What made everything funnier was the fact that you repeated that sentence in your mind as you got off the train, already neck deep in the problem. Fascinating about a stranger was already hilarious, but actually chasing them, going head first without any second thought just to see him in the flesh? It was a fucking comedy.

In front of you was an old yet enormous manor, rotting and ruined by the passing of time. The windows were sealed shut with planks, and the garden in the front of it probably wasn't touched up in decades. It truly seemed like a cruel prank, if it wasn't for that picture left at the bottom of the envelope, which was now resting in the inner pocket of your coat. It was the only proof you had, the only thing confirming that the man called "Luchino" wasn't just a marionette sculpted by your unconscious mind. How hilarious.

Your curiosity got the best of you, and you found yourself pushing the (unlocked... for some reason) creaky door open and letting yourself get lost in the darkness of the main hall. It would be pitch black if it wasn't for the few lanterns hanging on the ceiling, spider webs wrapping around the textured glass. Disoriented, you looked around for any possible sign of other people living here, literally anything to prove that you came to the right place.

A ray of light appeared in the corner of your eye - it came from a half-opened door. You slowly approached it, in fear of making the floorboards creak. It's a stranger's house, after all, and you assumed them realizing they have unexpected guests would make them angry.

Yet, your ear was now peering into the illuminated room, curiosity eating you from the inside. You could make out the people speaking just by the tone of their voice - two women, a calm, collected woman and an energetic, younger woman with a soft french accent, seemingly deep into an argument. You could hear their voices jump up a few octaves with every sentence, them tripping on words as they tried to reason with each other. A step further wouldn't hurt anyone, right? Now your whole head was stuck between the wooden planks, but the only things you were able to see were the peeled wallpaper and the edge of a huge, almost royal dining table - this manor was the property of some aristocrat, no doubt about that. Your fingers were aggressively gripping the doorknob, almost desperately. If you could only muster up the courage to open it...

"I wouldn't advise going any further. Mostly because... well, let's just say that miss Bourbon is not the best if we're talking self-control."

The sudden deep, raspy voice behind you made you flinch and turn around in panic. A blindfolded man stood in front of you - his body was wrapped in long, dark blue cloths, and a leather satchel hung from his waist. On his shoulder was a big, brown owl, arching its fluffy chest towards you and curiously tilting its head, as if it wants to know who you are.

"Don't let yourself get intimidated by Brooke - she's just fascinated by newcomers." he said as his gloved hand ruffled the owl's feathers. "The name's Eli Clark, but call me Eli for short. And yours?" The same gloved hand was now reached out towards you, awaiting a handshake.

"My- ah- um...the name is ____. My pleasure, Eli." you nervously mumbled as you grabbed his hand and awkwardly shook it.

"____... What a pretty name. You're new here, right?" The brunette man suddenly smiled. "I've been expecting you."

"Oh, really? So you must be the owner of the manor then! You sent me the invitation too, right?"

Eli rubbed his chin.

"What invitation..?"

You reached into your pocket, showing him the crumpled, yellow envelope. "This one. I was hoping you were the person that could help me out with this personal mission of mine..."

He exhaled, his nose scrunching from under the blindfold. "I'm really sorry, but I think you've been misinformed. I'm not the owner of manor, the same goes for the other two current residents."

"So you must be a relative of the owner, yes?"

"No... In fact, no one here knew others beforehand. Nor do we know the owner, or who invited us - although my "invitation" was more of a... gut instinct, if you will." He let out a bleak, emotionless chuckle. "But all I can say is that you're not alone in this. Miss Bourbon and miss Gilman were both invited by the same stranger, as far as I know."

Your heart sank. It can't possibly be a dead end! There has to be something more...

"You mean this "owner" person invited a bunch of random people here? That they probably don't know, either?"

"Well... yes."

"But why?"

He clicked his tongue. "God knows why. I have my own reasons, and the ladies have them too. All I know is that all of them are quite personal."

You couldn't wait any longer. Just a clue, just a tiny little nag in the right direction - it was all you asked for. "Then, Eli, do you perhaps recognize this man?", you said as you yanked the picture out of your pocket. A sharp line dragged itself across its surface, wearing out the paper after the numerous times you folded it and opened it yet again, just to embed his face in your memory a little bit better.

Eli might have been blindfolded, but you could sense his eyes widening in shock, baffled at the sight of the picture you handed him. Instead, his owl leaned forward, eyes like big, glass marbles staring back at the withering face on the photograph.

"Do you know this man, ___?"

"Yes. I... well, I'm looking for him. It was actually the reason I came here - this photograph right here was in the invitation."

The brunette man pressed his lips together, thinking of how to reply to you.

"That... No. I've never seen him. I'm sorry."

"Then should we ask the other two residents?" your gaze flew onto the half-opened door. "Maybe they know somet-"

"They don't. Trust me, they're not from here. Miss Gilman is quite isolated from others and the modern way of living in general, and Miss Bourbon arrived 4 days ago from a whole other continent. He... ugh, actually, nevermind." his voice was nervous and twitchy, almost like he was shivering in the cold.

Was he lying? You bit your lip while thinking. Even if he was telling the truth, you could notice the impact that the picture had on him. It was just two lovers, arms wrapped around each other, pigment of their faces crumbling after being worn out by time, yet they seemed to throw him right into a state of panic. Avoidant, out of breath - what could had possibly been on his mind that caused such a reaction?

"Are you sure, Eli? You're sounding kind of  unreasonable right now." your eyebrows furrowed as you spared a sharp glare at the panicking man.

"No! I'm just saying how it really is! It-"

A brown bush of hair suddenly popped up from the half open door, illuminated by the remaining traces of the warm, faint light from the dining room. "Can you two hurry up with introductions? Dinner's getting cold!"

~

Dinner went by faster than you thought.

As you followed Eli into the dining room, you were met with two women seated at the long table, the same ones that you overheard bickering.

"Yet another newcomer?" the calm, elegant lady spoke, her dark eyes squinting to get a better look at you. Her head and body were covered with a figureless purple garment, mystical symbols curved on the edges of the long, flabby sleeves and the hood. She suddenly stood up, her bony hand reaching towards you. "Fiona Gilman. Pleasure to meet you." you slowly shook her hand. "I bet all that traveling has worn you out, yes?"

"Oh, not at all, miss Fiona!" Even though she seemed like a friendly lady, you felt sort of intimidated by her elegant posture and mysterious, dazed eyes that were probably drifting off far away from the real word, losing themselves in some other dimension. As if she kept a dark secret that an ordinary human couldn't even comprehend. With her witchy appearance and tall, gloomy figure, she seemed out of this world, like a prophet of some apocalyptical, elven land.

"Doesn't matter, sugar, you're gonna eat some delicious soup and head back to bed. You seem quite sickly, too, did you get enough sleep? You should get two bowls today, warm homemade soup is the best cure for all illnesses..." the brown-haired lady spoke, pinching your cheeks while inspecting your face. Her french accent was still audible, her r's perching up and her u's cutely drooping a pitch lower every time she spoke. "Ah! I forgot to introduce myself. Call me Demi. None of that miss and mister bullshit. We're gonna be together for a few days anyway, so we should spend them in good spirits, no?" she said as she winked at you.

Even though it was only the four of you sitting at the huge table, the initial silence was instead filled with lively chatting, four different voices intertwining and interrupting each other. You got to know every single one of your new roommates,  even some of their own funny quirks. Your mind drifted off of Luchino, completely forgetting about him until the moment you curled up in your new bed.

As you changed from your clothes into your pyjamas, the picture dropped down to the floor next to the bed. "Oh, I completely forgot about you." you whispered as a wave of guilt struck you right as you picked it up. Was this part of the owner's plan? To give you so many clues and hints to solve the puzzle that troubled you for weeks, and then have you give them up for a glass of wine and a chat with complete strangers? You weren't sleepy anymore. You tucked the picture into your fist, and decided to go get a glass of water, maybe even meet Demi and Fiona and ask them about Luchino. Eli's reply still didn't satisfy you, and seemed to actually create more questions instead of giving you a direct answer.

The creaking of the old staircase filled your ears as you made your way down to the kitchen, each stair rhytmically answering you with a high pitched squeak with every step you took. You looked at the open window in the hall - the grayish full moon gleamed in the beautiful night, without a single cloud in sight to hide its beauty. Once you got to the kitchen, you noticed the warm light peeking from under the door. Did someone forget to turn it off? Probably left it on on accident, you thought to yourself as you headed towards the door.

The second you put your hand on the doorknob, you halted. A person was on the other side. Or were there two? It could very well be Eli - he mentioned he struggled with his sleeping schedule. Or maybe Demi? She drank a lot throughout the dinner. It could also be Fiona, considering her cultish interests and all the full moon rituals usually tied to such beliefs. To spy or not to spy? Your hands trembled out of nervousness. It would be a shitty thing to do, especially since you just left your first impression on them, but you were going to interrupt them either way by entering, weren't you? Eye peeking through the keyhole, you squatted down and pressed your head onto the rotting door, hoping to draw out anything that others decided to gossip about.

Through the miniscule keyhole, you made out Eli's legs, crossed while he was sitting, and Demi's green skirt, waving around her legs as she nervously walked back and forth.

"Why did you decide to lie to them?" suddenly you heard Demi hiss, as if she had already suspected someone was spying on them.

"I had a reason, alright? Besides, we've only just met! To leave them hopeless and sad, just for them to realize they can't leave yet?" now you heard Eli cry, his usually stable, calm voice now on the verge of madness.

"You should had told them the truth! Imagine how they would feel as they looked for him, only to realize that all of their efforts were just a dead end. The harsh truth is always better than hopeful lies."

It can't be. What are the odds that they're talking about him?

"He's... alive. I know it. He must be somewhere out there." Eli's voice trembled again.

"Stop lying to yourself, Eli. He's dead. We all saw him lying on the ground, writhing in pain, unable to help him despite our attempts. We all saw the same sight." Demi suddenly sighed as she reached for a chair to sit down on. "Besides, you saw it in your visions, too. You saw those scales on his body piercing his skin as he bled out, you noticed only his face was blurred out out of the four of us, you saw them taking his place. Everything aligned perfectly."

"I don't want to believe the truth. I... want to change the future. I don't want to make the same mistake ever again." You heard Eli whimper, his hands reaching his face. "Tommorrow's the final game. I'm going to try my best to make things right. I don't want to lose ___ the way we lost Luchino."

Demi leaned over, her arms softly pulling Eli's shoulders into a hug.

It can't be true.

It possibly cannot be.

He cannot be dead.

But you heard them confirm - yet, at the same time, you didn't want to believe it.

Suddenly you weren't thirsty anymore. You headed back to your room, tears rolling down your cheeks.

God, if there was ever a moment where you simply needed to feel his presence near you, to just feel his breath on your neck and his arms around your waist, it was this one. Yet, it was so hard to imagine it again, knowing that he's probably a corpse somewhere out there.

It didn't matter. You already had a plan - tommorrow you'll find him, and bring him home - no matter if he's dead or alive.

~

You couldn't tell the time, nor did you know how long you've been walking. All you saw was Eli's blurry figure in front of you, leading you to the place where the "game" would commence. Tired and dazed, you tried your best to stay awake, struggling with each step into the mud. Your legs were feeling weak and numb, as if they could easily fall off your body if the wind was a bit stronger.

"How much longer, Eli? I simply cannot walk anymore!" Demi groaned from the back, struggling to balance herself in the moldable, soft dirt, to which Eli didn't reply.

He wasn't very talkative today - in fact, no one was. Fiona and Demi spared you a quick smile in the morning, but nothing more than that. It was a strange parade, the four of you heading to god-knows-where, gloomy and silent as if you're part of some odd, morbid carnival.

"We're here!" Eli suddenly yelled. Through the fog you made out water-soaked wooden planks and heated, warm antennas that were perched up above it, like stars in the cloudy night sky. The damp and overwhelming air now reached your nostrils - you recognized it, but from where exactly? The smell of the grass soaked by the rain haunted you from some other distant time, but you simply couldn't put your finger on it.

Eli now faced all three of you, nervously clenching his fist. "We're splitting up now. Just follow the lights and try to decode the machines that you'll find." He pointed at the antennas clouded by the fog. "I'm going this way, alone. Don't follow me! I'll be back at once, trust me!"

"But, Eli, you can't just-" Demi yelled, but Eli already ran into the fog, the gray veil blurring out his figure until he fully vanished.

Fiona sighed. "I guess we don't have any other option. Demi - you and I will head for those two machines on the west side. ___, could you take over this one?" She signaled at the machine positioned north, in the same direction where Eli went. You nodded. The way the game progressed made you more worried than it should.

Through the fog, you approached the clunky machine. It looked like a lion in a cage on display - it made beeping noises, it was shaking and the buttons seemed like they were pressing themselves - almost as if it was alive. Yet, as you felt the weight of the indented buttons go down with the press of your finger, your initial fear was fading. Sweat dripping down your forehead, you were arched over the typewriter-like box, wiping and rewriting lines and lines of crypted text. A few sudden, loud booms made you jump - Demi and Fiona probably finished decoding theirs. As you reached halfway, you suddenly heard a cry coming from up north.

Or was it an owl's howl?

Your legs were cemented in front of the machine. Just a few more lines of code and whatever those symbols were, and you could get out freely, reach Demi and Fiona and escape, but was there even enough time to borrow? A wave of guilt suddenly bit you from the inside of your stomach, but you simply couldn't waste another second.

Sweat froze on your bare skin, but you didn't care. You ran and ran as fast as you could, continuing even after tripping over sometimes. It was obvious this would go down badly from the start, but maybe this was destined to be. You couldn't change the future already engraved into the stars. Eli couldn't, either. But you wanted to do the impossible. As you moved through the fog, you realized you had nothing more to lose.

Panting and catching your breath, all you found was Eli's leather satchel lying in the grass, a few of Brooke's feathers loosely sticking onto its surface. Suddenly you found yourself tying it around your waist. There was no explanation you could make up on the spot, but it was a souvenir of sorts. It was a piece of him, in a way. Even if he wasn't physically here, you found comfort in the way his satchel pulled it's weight down your hip. It was a reminder that you're on a mission - to change what Eli couldn't, and to return what was lost.

"__!"

It was Demi's voice coming from behind you. She was out of breath, leaning on her knees for support.

"Demi! For god's sake, y- Do you know where Fiona and Eli are?" You rushed to help her recover her stamina.

"Was just about to ask you. Fiona disappeared right as she finished her cipher, and as for Eli... well, we're both looking for him right now, aren't we? Have you found any clues?" Her hand roamed her bucket, taking out a dusty glass bottle, filled to the brim with shiny red liquid. "Nope, except Eli's satchel." You tapped its damp, shiny surface lightly. "But other than that, there were no footprints, no signs of where he went."

Demi took a swig out of the bottle, then carelessly threw it back into the bucket. "Alright. Since both Eli and Fiona are gone, we have to devise a plan. Listen - I'm going to look for those two, maybe they got lost - and you'll be decoding that last cipher over there, okay? I can't focus on those puzzle-code-whatever thingies while I'm tipsy, but I sure can pack a punch if needed!" She grinned as she flexed her arm.

"Sounds good to me. Just take care, okay? And be careful!"

"No need to worry about me, sweetie. I'll be back before you even enter the last line of code!" She laughed, and her laugh echoed over and over as she melted into the fog again.

Well, shit. You were loomed over the damned machine again, the cipher still shaking and wriggling as if it's about to explode. Now as you thought about it, the game was about to end, and it was faster than you thought. It all depended on you and Demi - for her to find the remaining two, and for you to decipher that goddamned block of text and get you all out of here.

Click. Click.

First row done, five more remaining.

You felt the first droplet of sweat form on your forehead.

Click. Click.

Second row done, four more remaining.

Did the buttons suddenly stop cooperating? They felt heavier under your fingertips, some of them refusing to pop back after you pressed them.

Click. Click.

Third row done, three more remaining.

Was it this cold the entire time? The wind played with your hair as you continued typing.

Click. Click.

Fourth row done, two more remaining.

You thought of your teammates. Where could they be now? Demi promised to return before you finished the cipher, but there was nothing to hear except the swaying of leaves, nothing to see through the fog except the outlines of the wooden skeletons that could have been houses in some other life.

Click. Click.

Fifth row done, one more remaining.

Was that a hiss you just heard? Your mind is probably playing tricks with you, yet you still felt uneasy, your leg bouncing in case you need to un-freeze and get going.

Click. Click.

Gah, fuck.

Wrong code, back to row five.

You felt the hairs on your skin rise up as your already numb fingers ran over the keyboard. Must be cause of the cold.

Click. Click.

Sixth row done. Cipher machine finished.

The exit gates have been opened.

You jumped and ran along with the ear-piercing siren, not finding the courage to look back at what might had been hunting you the whole game.

~

Two eyes staring right back at you. The last thing you saw before you started to run. As you turned your back to them, you already felt them stripping off your clothes and tearing your flesh apart, toying with your mutilated body as they pleased. If I don't run as fast as possible, that might just be the best case scenario, you suddenly thought and picked up your pace.

You ran to the quickest shed you found and pressed yourself against the wet planks. It was the best shelter you could find at the moment, although it was also the most fragile one out there. One careless move and your cover will be blown completely. Your hand pressed itself on your mouth on its own - Is this really how it's going to end? Legs cemented into the ground, unable to make a move in fear you'll get caught? If your hands weren't already shaky, you'd pinch yourself in hope that it's was all just a bad dream.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to look behind. Now with a wooden shield against your back, perhaps you could stare down the predator from the thin, empty holes between the planks. Slowly, you tilted your head, the wetness of the wood brushing against your cheek. You didn't dare to completely turn around - it was too risky.

As you held onto the wall, fingers pale out of sheer force with which you held onto it, your gaze quickly flashed between the wooden frame, into the grayish cloud of icy, damp air.

Fatal mistake.

It only took a moment of inattention - you felt the skin of your chest ripping and the warmth of your own blood flowing down your body. As you gasped in shock, your eyes fixed themselves onto what poked through your pathetic little shelter and, in the end, your ribs - an enormous, clawed hand, searching around for whatever it stabbed in the first place. It could probably grip your whole neck with ease and turn your spine into dust with a strong enough grip. With your legs feeling like rubber, you sloppily leaped towards a tied up stack of planks set against a barrel. Trying to find some unreal source of energy from your worn out body, only one solution popped up in your mind - you pulled the stack with all your momentary might.

It was dizzying. A chain reaction ensued in your abdomen, as if something stabbed through your belly button from the inside of your body. You grabbed your stomach in vain, the blood leaking from your ribs already staining the cloth that was wrapped around your waist. Not enough power remained in your arms to support your weight and you simply crashed into the dewy grass, exhausted from fighting back.

"Please! Let me die a painless death!" You screamed at whatever was now looming over you and breathing into your neck. The only remaining option was to beg the two blurred, hellish orange orbs looking at you for mercy.

A second passed. Then another.

Your heart was still beating. The creature's heavy breathing still filled up your ears, yet you didn't dare to face it again. It leaned forward, scraping your wrist with its claws - no, grabbing something from your sleeve? You slowly opened your eyes.

It gazed at the same picture you cherished and held close to your chest each night.

As the monster's eyes fixated themselves on the two blurry faces, you heard a low hiss slipping from it's jaw. You could recognize that husky voice from miles and miles afar.

"____?"

~

"...Luchino?"

You couldn't believe your eyes. Yet, as you inspected the lizard-man looming over your body, you realized it really was him - the raggedy brownish-red hair rolling down the sides of his neck, the collared shirt slightly ripped at the seams - but god, what has he become? The soft surface of his big, veiny hands was now replaced by menacing claws that could rip you apart if he got careless enough.

"____! So it really is you I'm seeing! I'm so glad!" Luchino sighed in relief as he got on his knees in front of you. "I'm so sorry that you have to see me like this..."

"Luchino.. is this really you? What happened?" You murmured, reaching for his scaled face. The tension in your body disappeared the second you heard his voice seep from his mouth - he seemed less menacing, even cute in a way.

"Huh? You don't remember?" He leaned his face into your palm. It almost felt natural, the way your hand slowly cupped his cheek.

"No...I just... I don't remember what happened very well that night you disappeared. Are you hurt?" You whispered.

He sighed. "...It's a long story, darling. A story for another time. Don't worry about me - are you hurt?" His claws stroked the thick bandages that were tightly wrapped around your waist, now soaked with blood. "Ah, these wounds... I'm so sorry. It's all my fault." He looked away in shame. "I lost control of myself after that - well, transformation - thing and just... let myself get controlled by my animalistic instincts." As he got lower and lower, he slowly laid his head on your chest. "I never wanted to hurt you. I'll never forgive myself for making you bleed."

"Luchino..." you mumbled out as your arms wrapped around his neck. "Please. It's fine, trust me, I'm doing better now..."

"It's not fine." He suddenly yelped, making you jolt. "I can't excuse doing such an awful thing. Especially since it was you I hurt." His fingers intertwined with yours. "I'll get us out of here, tesoro. I'll make sure that no one - including me - lays another finger on you."

He picked up your fragile body from the grass that you laid in. "One day, angel, I'll find a way to return back to normal - and I'll be the man you once knew again."

You clenched the fabric rippling over his chest. "You were always the same man, Luchi. No scales or fangs will change the way you love, the way you tighten your grip whenever you hold me in your arms and the way you whisper sweet nothings into my ear."

He chuckled and softly pressed his mouth onto your forehead. He still kissed you with the same warmth he once did, the heat lingering as he moved his head away.

"I love you, vita mia."

[misc-obeyme]

hii, I just want to say, please take all the time you need!! You should never apologize about a lack of something when you come first. i hope your motivation comes back, but depression really is a butt kicker. I understand how you feel. I've been in a slump for months, but I'm slowly clawing my way out of it. Sending lots of love !! 🫶

I'm still trying to find the confidence to pick up a pen again and draw or try writing again. Your blog makes me feel really inspired !! It's one of my favorites, hence why I'm in the ask box so often lolol

i was gonna ramble about an idea but this ask is already getting long so I'll split it aksjdj

- ✨ anon

Dear, sweet ✨ anon!

Thank you so much! Depression really sucks, especially when it feels like it's never ending... I hope both of us are able to get out of our slumps! I kind of move between staring at a blank screen and staring at the ceiling... like, I want to write, but my brain can't seem to hold onto anything long enough for me to. And then I feel guilty and then I end up sleeping instead lol.

It really means so much to know that my blog inspires you! That's honestly one of the highest compliments ever. I really love to encourage others and to share ideas. I want everyone to have that confidence to create art, whether that's drawing or writing or any other form. I love to see you in my ask box! Know you're always welcome! I truly believe in you and I know that you'll be able to create again soon! We'll get through it together!

I do see your other ask, just know that I'm saving it for when I can give it a proper response! I don't know what happened but suddenly I've been getting a TON of asks. And I don't want to give a short response because I don't have enough time to give my usual novel length answers lol. I figure most people would rather I pace myself with them than cut my answers short.

Anyway, I really appreciate you sending me this lovely message! I hope you're having a wonderful day! 💕