#ANYWAY I just feel so guilty about this
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So with my Mom’s cancer being back, my own health stuff, and everything else going on, I’m not sure I’ll be able to be the most active in this round of bookclub (and I do have a lot of words muted and stuff hidden because of mental health and streamlining things and Tumblr's an ass about showing posts sometimes—so if I miss a post, please don’t take it personally!). ): It honestly makes me super upset
But I really hope that everyone has a good time and I can’t wait to see what people cook up! <3 Last time was SO MUCH FUN it makes me a little nervous about living up to those expectations aksjdkajsn But as long as someone has a good time, that's what counts :3
#TrigunBookclub#Tbh I have a lot of ships in general muted/hidden so that I stopped accidentally reblogging things to the trigunart blog lol#Which luckily romance and shipping rarely take root in my brain so *I'm* fine with that#(Don't look at the one obvious elephant in the room)#But it does mean I'll miss stuff#PLEASE let me know if someone's being a dick and I miss it#Absolute zero-tolerance policy for harassing or being cruel to anyone in this house#And also tbh I'm overwhelmed but I'm doing better than I have in previous overwhelmed times#I've been doing a lot of mental word and cut out a lot of toxicity in my life#Even if I'm really raw atm#So I'm okay#As okay as I can be anyway#ANYWAY I just feel so guilty about this#And I don't want anyone to feel bad
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I think that being alone in frasco made aba a very sensory-oriented person. and that translates a lot into how she shows affection, especially given paracelsus, while he can be hugged or kissed or humped, can’t really reciprocate too terribly much and probably doesn’t feel it as vividly or in the same way as those of biological body. basically what I’m saying is aba does asmr for paracelsus as a form of intimacy
#im imagining this came along at least in the point in the relationship where the romance is mutual#initially para didn’t know how to feel about it and was just generally surprised by it bc’s aba’s weirdness is usually overt and intense#and while again being a key probably dampens the pure physical aspect#the audio and just her care and attention makes it very soothing#and of course aba would love fidgeting and making weird noises anyway so getting to do that specifically for him is just ideal for her#this might be projection but I do not care#art#my art#guilty gear#ggst#aba guilty gear#aba ggst#paracelsus guilty gear#paracelsus ggst#abacelsus
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up until the very end, adrien was so ANGRY with his father, like with the whole nightormentor thing, even after while in his solitary confinement, he was so angry, or very upset with his father, even when it all eneded he was calling out wanting to be let out IMMEDIATELY
how guilty do you think he felt after he died? or at least when he was told, that his last sight of him was when he was deakumatized, still frustrated he never listens to him
the way he didnt think of his father happily before he died and now he just has to go on living with that...
I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT ADRIEN PLS SAVE ME
#sigh#what a sad guy#he has so much to feel guilty about#i bet he ultimately regrets giving up his miraculous#he regrets not just transforming in his cell#before he sees plagg again he bets that plagg is upset he wasnt there to help ladybug#GAH#probably thinks alot of people are mad at him#because hes so mad at himself#anyway#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#adrien agreste#miraculous lb#ladybug and chat noir#chat noir#mlb#ml#gabriel agreste#nightormentor
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AU where Dante goes to Fortuna much earlier and ends up taking Nero under his wing instead of Kyrie's parents.. hold on i need to think on this some more ill get back to you
#dmc#devil may cry#the herb speaks#nero devil may cry#dante devil may cry#i imagine just after dmc 1#dante recognizes Vergil's energy or whatever in this little silver haired#blue eyed brat of a kid who's running around fortuna causing trouble#he asks where is Nero's parengs#nero tells him both his mom and dad left#dante feels guilty about Vergil even more so now and feels somewhat responsible for this clearly related to him orphan#so he decides to take Nero with him#they look very similar anyways so nobody really questions it and Nero is just happy to tag along#he's only a little kid after all#the brain wormsss
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Nirei and Sakura are NOT beating the "unconditionally in love" allegations. In fact, they're just proving to be in love over and over again with each chapter
#the fact that i'm not using all their moments because they're too gay and they're always together#so i'd have to reread the manga again#and yes i said again bc i reread it already#but oh lord just make them kiss cmon cmon#it's about the protectiveness and trust they have on each other#it's about nirei's admiration for sakura and sakura being unable to take that love bc he hates himself and nirei giving it to him anyway#it's about nirei asking him to share his burden with him#it's about sakura protecting his first real friend with his life to the point of feeling guilty every time nirei's in danger#it's about sakura starting to trust nirei to protect himself too#IT'S ABOUT RELYING ON EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME#the way this is just me and my partner i am losing it#wind breaker#wind breaker (satoru nii)#nirei akihiko#sakura haruka#whatever the shipname is called#bc i haven't seen anyone use a shipname for them so whatever#but they're my favorite ship without a doubt
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it just hit me that the movie is coming out next month imgonna throw upppppppp
#to be clear this isnt an excited post this is a scared post .#i feel kinda guilty about it with how excited i was about the first 2 movies#but i just cant be anymore paramount and the scu have disappointed me so much within the past year in so many ways ......#shadow is one of my favorite characters his lore makes me go crazy and is one of the things that pulled me into loving sonic so much#but i literally felt nothing while watching that trailer aside from confusion at some of the writing choices being made#like i wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 but why is sonic working with gun . wtf is gerald doing here . why are there no girls .#the only positives to me were things that were cool visually . which doesnt outweigh all the things that have annoyed/disappointed me#like who cares about another cool sonic and shadow fight scene we already have plenty of those .#Anyway. saw some of those new promotional images.#i swear to god if they actually start calling shadow+eggman+gerald team dark#like they suggested they might in that survey from a while back#im gonna become the joker for real#(insert the NO that is NOT solid snake image but it says team dark instead)#also maybe im taking the hedgehog games way too seriously here#but having gerald still be alive and present in some form feels like such a bad idea from a story perspective ... like .#for one shadow lost Everything in the gun raid having gerald still be here feels like its undermining that in a way#but also gerald's whole thing in sa2 is being long dead but still impacting the story despite that . why is he ALIVEEEE#and why is he here over rouge ???? do they just hate women or something#(before someone goes ''it would take too much time/money to animate another cgi character''#maybe the movies should have just been fully animated if that sort of thing was a concern . just saying)
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🍷<3
#when i got hashtag sick i was in hospital and i was doing my regularly scheduled call with my dad#and i really had no plans of telling him bc ive done that before and its not like he can scare the MS away or anything#i dont know what happened. maybe because it was such a fucking bad episode. maybe because i was so tired. maybe it was a secret 3rd thing#but one minute was like fine then i just burst into tears and i was crying so hard which is MEGA EW BC IM NOT A CRIER LIKE THAT#and my dad freaked out and he was like whats wrong and i didnt wanna tell him but I also sounded insane bc i spontaneously started sobbing#and he was getting more alarmed and i was upset that id upset him and so i just spat it out i was like 'listen king'#'its no biggie but my body is trying to kill me again and im just a little sad atm' and he replied 'baba why wouldnt you tell me?'#and this man who has a very big serious job literally dropped everything and took a 20 hr flight over#and he genuinely just grabbed one of his work suitcase because he showed up with nothing but dress shirts and his laptop#and i think maybe it healed me a little. i mean it def also made me sad too but mostly healed me#and he'd been here for a couple of weeks and he left today and i feel shit about being sad about it#again because he has a very big and very serious job and i genuinely dont understand how he even just showed up like that#so I felt guilty throughout#anyway i dont think he drinks anymore but i was like king have a sip of wine with me and he did and it was lovely#and I hope I become my fathers daughter and not my mother's child. praying to both our gods#heres to healing ❤️🩹
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jasico server was chatting about the cupid scene and jason getting nico's memories blasted straight into his brain and how jason being shot with one of cupid's arrows while with nico and this was just never brought up in canon again and now i'm thinking like...what if that's just how cupid's arrows work? not by magically manifesting love for someone out of nothing, but by giving someone the perspective that'd make them fall in love naturally? jason gets a front row seat to nico's memories and instantly understands him intimately and can trust him completely without any doubt or suspicion
so what if jason, after slowly realizing he's totally in love with nico, just thought back to the arrow incident and it made him second-guess everything? because maybe he's only feeling this way because cupid hit him with an arrow with only nico was around and it's no different than any other god messing with his love life
#i live for anything that drags out the pining/pre-relationship period as long as possible okay#give me the drama of jason frustrated about constantly being manipulated by gods#in love with nico but convinced it's just cupid fucking with him and not wanting nico to get dragged into it#maybe telling nico eventually because he's having trouble hiding his feelings and he doesn't wanna hurt nico by confusing him#which is of course an emotional rollercoaster for nico#hearing jason say he's in love with him only to then immediately hear that it's just godly fuckery#nico agreeing to help jason find cupid to get it reversed because he knows how much it sucks having feelings for someone unwillingly#and he doesn't want jason stuck mooning over someone like him just because he was unkucky enough to be with nico for the cupid incident#whole quest in which nico develops feelings in return and angsts because he's sure jason only feels that way because of the arrow#maybe a slip-up in the middle somewhere with nico accidentally revealing he likes jason back before backpedaling wildly#so now jason has hope despite himself because he'd never really thought it was possible anyway given nico's feelings for percy#and he doesn't like being manipulated by gods but he doesn't mind the idea of being in love with nico#and what if he just gave up on the hunt for cupid entirely and let it happen#while nico feels guilty since clearly it's just cupid arrow magic fucking with jason and he's enabling it#and then of course when they finally find cupid he explains how his arrows work and that he can't just FORCE someone to be in love#no more than hera could with jason and piper by fucking with their memories to push them together#cupid's methods are just way more effective#my tag babble ended up longer than the actual post oh my god#pjo#jasico#my dumb headcanons
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I have things I should be working on but I'm too busy wondering what a Low or High Kochanski would be like
#Does anyone know if there are any fics/posts about this concept? I probably just haven't run into them#Especially enamored by the idea of Low Kochanski. What would she be like?#Since- as established in The Inquisitor a few episodes beforehand- conceptions of morality/worth/etc. are emphasized as being subjective#that's how I've always approached the Lows: as manifestations of what *the characters* feared was the worst about themselves#shaped by social/cultural expectations#(that's probably why though I understand some people's discomfort towards the stereotypes Low Rimmer exhibits#I was less critical towards it because it says more about Rimmer's psyche than anything)#What would Kochanski see as the worst in herself?#I keep thinking about the tags someone left on the post about Kochanski perhaps feeling guilty about how her Dave changed for her#That mentioned the possibility of her going so far as to change Lister's peogram to align to her personality and her needs#I personally don't think she would do that. But! That doesn't mean that she hasn't thought about it. Maybe at some point in the beginning#So I'm leaning this manipulative Machiavellian sort of Low Kochanski. One that's coldly efficient and calculating#Which I think would suit the others well#The Lows of The Boys are sadistic animalistic primal#There's something chaotic to their immorality#I think Low Kochanski could stand in contrast to that. A member of the Low crew that is not driven by emotion. One that is ordered#And I think that would make her threatening in a different way#Anyways that's just my opinion :) Curious to hear what others think!#Red Dwarf#Kristine Kochanski#Original Post
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romeo roleplaying as his favorite OC to beat the shit out of his other OC who he hates very much
#ganon draws#minecraft#mcsm#minecraft story mode#mcsm romeo#mcsm petra#i wanted to make them look more monstrous and reflect what my romeo design looks like lol#so here is this beast#and romeo is getting really into it but also hes projecting#hes yelling at jesse like he did fred#which is kind of why he hates jesse so much. he reminds him of the friend he killed and hes salty about feeling guilt#and he likes petra because she reminds him of himself in a way and he feels less guilty about everything#when he sees that oh well they did abandon me just like this#and he tries to get petra to feel the same as his champion#tries to get her to give up on jesse and be resentful just like him#and he has petra fight jesse to the death assuming she would actually do it just like him#ok ermmm the shit i have for this is too much to fit in tags but anyways. romeo is actually the worst
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you know what? Fuck it *posts these doodles of my Mysterio and vanishes*
I was lowkey waiting till I had more official art pieces of him and my other sinister six before posting anything about him but I’m impatient and really like how these look <3
#Spider man#Spiderman#mysterio#quentin beck#rufioarts#rufioocs#maybe.?? He is for my spidersona’s universe so KSMSH#Anyways I do technically have ‘full refs’ for all but one of my six but like#their draw overs of official TSSM art and like. Idk I’d feel#guilty?? Weird?? For my first posts about them to not be fully handrawn art#I’m def just overthinking it but such is life#Y’all will see my sinister six eventually <333 prommy#Also ignore now inconsistent my style can be sometimes LMAO DKDMDH#Earth-4918: Humming-Spider
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hi hello gals and gays. Here is a rare wav from me struggling with the flu. The virus has mainly been in my chest but my entire body is so wrecked I was able to induce super easily. No talking bc I’m literally unable to 😭 Do not listen if you can't stand harsh coughing because it gets a bit rough. If it sounds a bit weird the first half of the recording is from yesterday and the second half is from today, bc the coughing is so much worse in the second half lmao. Ok that's it thankkk you for feeding me so good lately tumblr love u all <3
also personal rant about ableism and intentional contagion in the comments :///
#ok like I haven't been this sick in literal years and cuz im disabled i'm super mindful of spreading germs to others.#and i've had some family staying with me so I was like great leave me here to rot in my cave guys#my partner has been rlly attentive and is like i don't care about germs tehe so yesterday he comes into my room#and gives me a bunch of kisses on my head then swoops in and kisses me ON THE MOUTH#like im sorry i've been lying in a pool of feverish sweat for days and can hardly breathe what part of that makes someone go ooo gimme?#like ya hes just trying to love me but i put so much effort into being clean and now i will feel really guilty when he gets sick#sorry not sorry intentional contagion is not cute or sexy at all its just irresponsible#like i would love to live the life where my body works so well that I don't give a second thought to KISSING someone with the flu#i just feel like able bodied people never think about what its like living with a disability or a chronic illness#or have the slightest inclination of how privileged they are#my partner isn't even a fetishit he is just a dumbass#but ya i just wish he and the general population would think more :/#snzblr#snz#illness kink#snzfucker#snz wav#snzzzzz#snz blog#anyway thats all do what u want with my horn post
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I don't read a lot of hotd fic but what I do read usually has Luke feeling immense guilt and regret about taking Aemond's eye, and I do honestly get why. But also. I don't think he regrets it that much. Maybe he wouldn't do it again, knowing what he knows now, but he absolutely has no remorse for protecting his brother and doing what he believes he should to do so. Tensions were high, they were children, a knife shouldn't have been involved at all but he did what he thought was right and who knows what would have happened if he didn't. Maybe no one would have been harmed further than that, it was, after all, four against one and a knight soon came to disrupt the fight. Maybe someone else would have suffered an injury. He doesn't know. He's just glad that his brother and cousins were mostly unharmed
#i do believe that he would fight for his loved one viciously in the heat of the moment#that would carry on inside him#and perhaps he does scare himself sometimes#but i don't think he feels the remorse as heavily as some describe him to feel#but i also didn’t read the books and it was quite some time ago i immersed myself in the show#and perhaps i need to read more jaceluke or what their shipname is#cause im mostly in the show for daemyra and rn im talking about lucemond fics#and again i understand why fic writers portray him the way they do#i just disagree#but i agree that its either luke feeling guilty or aemond being so obsessive he... not forgive it but...something like that#he strifes to be like daemon then go and love your nephew like daemon does babe#anyway#lucemond#lucerys velaryon#lucerys targaryen#house of the dragon#hotd
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I know how it sounds at first, but I really gotta feel bad for the boys that sacrificed edwin; I mean even the term “sacrificed edwin” paints them in a more sinister light than they really deserve– considering that wasn’t really, actually their intention.
they were bullies, they were homophobic (and/or were self loathing gay boys themselves taking it out on edwin, or were equally likely peer pressured into acting a certain way), they planned something stupid and mean to do to an innocent, anxious boy with the goal of scaring the shit out of him, all because he was effeminate and an easy target. but they didn’t know or expect any of the ritual stuff to be real. they were all laughing and joking during the ritual because it was just that to them– a joke. a cruel joke, but a joke.
teenagers can be mean and stupid and they usually regret it as adults and grow out of it / grow from it. they were stifled the chance to grow out of it, at least while alive. none of those boys deserved to be instakilled and sent to hell; they’re really not that much less deserving than edwin himself. they were all just kids, after all.
#random thought but. yeah……#I mean think about if crystal happened to be killed somehow pre-demonic intervention#she would’ve been deemed deserving of hell by the standards we’ve seen. no doubt about it. if the dragon guys were pulled to hell then yeah.#she would be as well. simply put- she was a bully#she was also a teenager. not a fully developed person. a very damaged and neglected teenager at that#it’s kinda like the criminal justice system right. it’s like. hey you really think sending them to be tormented is the most humane and#efficient way to heal these kids of what makes them act out and allow them to grow and improve?#Crystal’s such a good case to look at because she’s. well. to compare to The Good Place which you can probably already tell I’ve watched 800#times and adore with all my heart. she’s kinda the michael of the group#no one knows it at first but she’s actually kind of a terror to people most of the time. but she’s put in a situation where she#suddenly has a support system- people who care about her and want the best for her- she’s given a purpose and realizes how much better it is#to use her powers to help rather than hurt (well. sometimes helping can involve hurting but you get it)#and by the time she’s regained her memories and has a place in the agency it’s much easier to reflect on her life and be like huh!#this system kinda fucking sucks!#not that edwin wasn’t an example unto himself but he was a ‘clerical error’ not a ‘rightfully’ condemned person#with his situation someone could argue that the problem isn’t with the system being wack as a whole- it should just be maintained better so#these ‘errors’ don’t happen and all the good kids go to their afterlives and the Bad Evil Kids go to hell.#yes yes I know they’re not in hell forever (hopefully) but uhh Simon was still there for over a century and for fucking What?#gay self-loathing and catholic guilt? his intentions were clearly not Truly Evil and more than anything he seems to have been punished using#how much he hated himself for being gay and how guilty he felt for it all. like shit aren’t those feelings enough of a punishment? if he had#lived through that ritual and edwin hadn’t– do you think he would’ve been Okay? I think it would’ve crushed him. chronically#man. anyway#this was an especially long ramble huh#rambling#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives
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I find it weird some people are disappointed Kieran didn't get posses? I honestly was praying that theory wasn't right
Something about possession being the reason a character does fuck up shit feels like taking away from a character complexity. I like Kieran the way he is, a kid with issues, and I wouldn't like to see that complexity getting muddled with the "he was possessed" argument
#kieran#trainer kieran#i have strong opinions on how possession can affect a character arc#probably because a certain blue haired martir I love from another franchise got kinda screwed over development wise thanks to a possession#so I have thought about it for way too long#making a character actions under possession seem like they matter for said character outside of guilt is#it's just#complicated#so you give them a guilty conscience#and that's kinda cliche and boring let's be honest#or making them fundamentally changed by said possession#the best answer in my opinion#but it literally never goes that way#anyway this was about Kieran being a better character without a possession plot#not my complicated feelings about agency and possession and character arcs
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sylvee
#i accepted a new job and i have been crying for an hour bc my current job keeps putting me in those uncomfortable situations#they wanted me to stay two weeks longer so they have more time to prepare and i feel so guilty but i also dont want to stay there any longe#so i asked my sister to accept the job offer for me so now i can say no sorry its not possible without lying why its not#anyway ill go back to crying now i just saw this bunny and it made me feel about my sylvita mutuals
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