#ANNA WHY IS THIS OUR REALITY NOW

[covid-safer-hotties]

To My Unmasked Friend in the Fifth Year of COVID - By: Anna Holmes - Published Aug 17, 2024

I’m going to be honest with you, because I love you, and you deserve nothing but honesty. I’m going to try really hard not to be angry while I do it, but it’s probably going to slip out every now and again. But I need you to hear me out, all right?

By now, we’ve talked about my reality. My personal struggle with long COVID, the isolation I live in, why I am so angry all the time.

But let’s talk about you. You just went to a big convention overseas. You got on a plane, got a little gussied up, talked shop with some insiders, geeked out over awards and merch, ate, drank, were merry, left with your social cup and your heart full.

You’re a good person. We wouldn’t be friends otherwise! You’d never dream of tripping a person with a red and white cane, using the r-word, excluding a disabled person from an event because of something they can’t help.

You might even acknowledge that the COVID response from governments and organizations has been ableist and inadequate.

But you didn’t wear a mask.

For whatever reason — you wanted to show off your makeup, it makes you itchy, you believed the messaging that COVID is endemic (what does that actually mean?), you just don’t think about it anymore — you made a choice that actively excludes people like me from participating not only in an event like a convention, but society at large. And yes, it is a choice. Every time you step out into the world without a mask on your face, you have made a decision that your very good reason, whatever it is, supersedes the right of disabled and at-risk people to exist safely in your orbit.

Well, hold on, you say. It’s not any one individual’s fault, it’s the inadequate public health messaging. Isn’t that what you’ve been saying?

And I have. In the past, I have talked about how it is unconscionable that health authorities have thrown their hands up and rescinded guidance that would have saved hundreds of thousands of lives and prolonged a pandemic that, to hear them tell it, has been bested. It hasn’t. Worst of all, the financial motivation that we all know is driving this premature victory lap isn’t even being fulfilled. Long COVID and other post-COVID complications are costing the global economy one trillion a year. Meanwhile, article after article handwrings about nobody wanting to work anymore, about the sagging college application scene, about declines in military enlistment, and the strain on our healthcare systems.

All of this is very much the fault of our leaders, who have decided the political ramifications of “normalcy” are more important than the health and lives of the 400 million people living with long COVID across the globe, the immunocompromised folks who are increasingly being shut out of every conceivable public space, and the disabled community which has been screaming into the wind about our marginalization since before the virus even hit US soil.

But I want to be very clear. You are helping them do this.

The reality is that we have been living in this deeply flawed landscape of “personal choice”, and you’ve made yours. You’ve opted not to look into how densely clustered cases are. You’ve stopped listening to your friends who have informed themselves. You’ve given yourself permission to put COVID on the back burner. You’ve earned it, right? Four and a half years of trauma?

COVID doesn’t care if you’re tired of being scared or careful or considerate. COVID is not something you can personally overcome by being smart or virtuous or brave. It is a virus which only seeks to infect and replicate, and it is getting very good at those things. While you’ve looked away, my community has been scrambling to avoid variants that skirt immunity and don’t show up on rapid tests until day five-seven. The constant battle has changed since you were last in it. It’s not sufficient anymore to get your shots and test before a big event. You could well be asymptomatic and infectious, or have symptoms and convinced yourself it can’t be COVID because that second line hasn’t popped up.

You have come to the conclusion sometime between 2022 and now that you just have to decide what level of risk you’re comfortable with and live with it. The problem with that is scale. It’s you and everybody else doing that, and a lot of people have decided they are comfortable with a high level of risk. Despite what you’ve been told, you’re not just making that decision for yourself. You are making it for every person you come in contact with.

Think back to the early tense days of 2020. We were told to select a “bubble.” Those people would be our social lifelines, and through those, we could control our exposure.

My bubble is quite small. It includes my husband, my sister, and two friends I see relatively frequently.

My husband goes to work via the bus, and to the grocery store. Every person he comes in contact with there has the potential to infect him, and then he has the potential to pass it along to me. He mitigates this by wearing a well-fitted respirator at all times.

My sister goes to work at a busy public place. She masks when public facing and takes it off in the back office. She goes to restaurants, bars, concerts, hangs out with friends and her own partner unmasked. About 75% of her interactions have the heightened potential to infect her, which she might then bring into my house when she visits me.

My friends do not mask anywhere except my house when asked. They attend concerts, shows, cons, bars.

Obviously, I am in control of whether I wear a mask around these people. And as we approach one million new cases a day, I will be around everyone but my husband. But science is clear: reciprocal masking is more effective at infection control than a single person masking — especially when that single person is trying to protect themselves, not others.

This is settled science. We’ve known this since 2020. It says clearly that the choice you make is not personal- it has implications for everyone you come in contact with.

And being clear — if I could, I’d make everyone wear a mask for their own health. I don’t want people suffering with what I have. But you’ve been told this lie that you can take your risks for yourself, so you feel comfortable going out without a mask. You’ve been told this lie that it’s possible to completely recover from a COVID infection, so you assume that even if you do catch it, that’s what’ll happen to you, despite evidence showing that every body is indelibly changed by an infection, and that risk only grows with each subsequent infection.

And the greatest lie of all — that only the sick or elderly have anything to fear from COVID — has given you unfounded confidence in your own “good” genes or immune system or fitness. You can get long COVID even if you’re in peak form — in fact, may even be more likely to be hit hard.

So you have decided, individually and collectively, that only the sick or elderly should have to take precautions, and you freewheel through life, only to get surprised and dismayed when you bump into COVID in the wild. It’s back, people declare every summer or winter, as though it ever left.

But I want you to really think about the implications of your choice. Besides yourself. Because let’s be honest here, that’s who you’ve been thinking about, right? Your risk. Your comfort. Never mind your bubble, never mind the bubble of everyone you come into contact with, never mind the people like me who are literally hiding from people like you.

You’re not masking at the doctor’s office. You’re not masking at the airport. You’re not masking at the giant superspreader you just attended, and you’re not masking in the bars and restaurants where we know the virus flourishes. And then you’re bringing that exposure back to your family and friends. Back to the grocery store, where you run across people like my husband, shopping for someone who is unsafe to leave the house, or your elderly neighbors, or an immunocompromised employee.

You’re a good person, or you like to think of yourself that way. That’s why when you’re asked to mask, you dismiss it out of hand — because that changed behavior implies that you’ve been doing something wrong.

And my friend, I’m telling this because I love you: you have been. You might have been doing that on faulty information, but be honest with yourself and with me — you’ve heard me begging people to take this seriously. You’ve seen the information I’ve been sharing. You have had the opportunity to seek out the correct information all along, and you have chosen not to.

It isn’t too late to change your view of the risk you’re imposing on the people around you. It’s not too late to push public health to become more effective. It’s not too late to act in solidarity and be the inclusive person you think you are. It’s not too late to take care of yourself.

Ultimately, that’s what I have been screaming myself hoarse about. I don’t want you to end up with what I have. I don’t want you to inadvertently impose that on someone else. And yes, I’ve been angry, because you’ve been advertising your absolute lack of concern with group shots of your naked faces on social media. It doesn’t seem to bother you that I am stuck at home like it’s 2020, except for doctors’ appointments that I literally have to risk my life to go to. You’ve told yourself that it’s not your problem, because only the sick and elderly have to take precautions.

You know better. You can do better. For your community, yourself, and me, do better.

Please. I love you.

Anna

PS. If you’re feeling upset and embarrassed right now, the best thing you can do is take action. Get yourself good masks (the surgicals and cloth ones don’t cut it anymore), donate to mask blocs so others can access good masks, write to your representatives and the President, comment on upcoming CDC guidance, schedule yourself a booster, and talk to your loved ones about doing better, too. The only way we get out of this is with community care. So care.

[cirruslush]

「fake rumours」

PART 1 ꩜

an enemies to lovers type of story

hamzahthefantastic x reader

mentions: ANGST, gentle choking , making out, pinning, no smut

The worst thing about Hamzah wasn’t the fact that he was infuriatingly perfect. It wasn’t the way he always seemed one step ahead, or how his stupid cocky smirk could make my blood boil in seconds. It wasn’t even the fact that, he always managed to look effortlessly cool while I was struggling to keep my temper in check.

No. The worst thing about him was that, somehow, he’d always be able to easily find his way back in my head, as if it was the road to home that you blindly know about.

-

-

Me and Hamzah have been friends for quite some time now, considering our parents were friends even before we were born.

His mom adored me as if I were her own, and would always call me over for dinner, or just to study n hangout with Hamzah since we had a lot of classes in common.

Senior year, finally. One of the most stressful and overwhelming grades for many, but also one of the most exciting as well.

On one hand, it’s your last year of high school, which means making memories with friends, and the anticipation of what’s next. There’s a sense of freedom, like you’re standing on the edge of something bigger. But at the same time, it can feel like a lot of pressure—college applications, final exams, and the weight of what comes after.

Fortunately for you, school and life have been “caressing” you almost, but it’s only March, and you didn’t want to jinx anything

The multi-day senior trip is coming up soon and your heart was beating out of your chest, preparing your clothes days before the trip and planning what to do with your friends at night was like preparing for your first summer vacation.

You and your friends had been counting down the days for what felt like forever—talking about who was rooming with who, which places you were going to visit, and, of course, the late-night shit you all were determined to pull off. This trip felt like a rite of passage, a celebration of everything you’d gone through together—years of awkward moments, shared laughs, inside jokes, and even the occasional fighting. But now, it was all coming to an end.

The reality of graduation creeping up was starting to feel more tangible, more real. You caught yourself staring out the window, wondering how it all passed so quickly. Wasn’t it just yesterday you were entering high school, full of nervous energy? Now, you were at the finish line, ready to take the plunge into adulthood.

Suddenly, your phone buzzed, pulling you out of your thoughts. It was a call from Hamzah. You hesitated for a moment before answering, his name lighting up the screen bringing a familiar comfort with it.

“Hey, what’s up?” you answered, trying to keep your tone casual, though you could hear your own excitement slipping through.

“Have you done packing up yet?” Hamzah’s voice came through, upbeat and teasing.

“Almost,” you replied, glancing at the half-packed suitcase on your bed. “Just getting the last few things together. You?”

“I’m done, finally.” He signed loudly, and you could practically picture him lounging on his bed, phone in hand, his usual laid-back tone in full effect.

“I’m glad. Would you like my mom to drive us to school tomorrow instead?” you said jumping out of your seat, going to the bathroom, to grab your toothbrush “If your mom’s okay with it, always.”

“Sure why not, I’ll text you in a bit.” he replied, and before you knew it, he had already hung up.

Hamzah’s been kinda weird lately. He keeps teasing you in someway, yet being more distant by the days. You thought maybe it was some type of romantic disappointment, or something had happened at home, but you didn’t want to stress him even more by asking, right before the trip at that.

*bzz* the phone buzzed once again, it was a message this time, by your girl best friend. You quickly jumped on your bed, unlocking it

ANNA

hello beautiful sunshine 💕 Actually i’ve been meaning to talk to you about something, but i couldn’t gather the courage to tell you in person. I think Hamzah’s been talking behind your back…I happen to have overheard a conversation he had today, at school with one of his friends, and he said something about you being too immature to him, and that he was planning on cutting u off. Sorry for not telling u earlier girl, did u 2 fight?

The thought twisted something deep in her chest. Hamzah? Your best friend since childhood? He would never, right? Nothing had real happened between you—at least that you remember of, but Anna had said it so casually, and now, it made sense why Hamzah had been distant the past few days.

It was finally the next morning. You really didn’t get any sleep—thinking about Anna’s text over and over again. You were so filled with rage.

Is he foreal? Why would he even call you last night if it he was planning to cut you off anyway..you quickly got inside the car, driving with your mom over to Hamzah’s place.

Once you picked him up, you didn’t even dare to look at him in the eye. No words were said by you, only your mom talking with Hamzah. Though, Hamzah was quick to notice “everything alright? Are you feeling sick or nervous because of the trip?” he asked, looking genuinely worried. How pathetic. you thought to yourself, was he fucking with you or playing with your feelings just before cutting you off—like a cat playing with a mouse before killing it? yeah sure, Fuck him. “No, i’m totally fine.” you outed sassily, with a mocking face for a second.

Hamzah decided not to talk back, thinking it was that time of the month for you, not wanting to argue first thing in the morning.

On the trip, you kept your distance from him, avoiding his gaze, and sitting with Anna and the others at meals. Hamzah tried talking to you, but every. single. time. you shut him down, quickly, turning your body and attention away. The quiet hurt in his eyes made your stomach twist, but you couldn’t shake the words Anna had said.

The days went by, and both of you didn’t speak a word. Not talking to Hamzah for more than a day, was actually very unfamiliar with you. All these years you’d be all over each other, even if you argued one of you would always make a move to apologise soon enough- but this wasn’t the case. You were being selfish, not backing out or falling for any traps after hearing what your best friend Anna had to tell you. After all, why would your best friend lie about something like that? It didn’t seem like she had something against him anyway.

So you want war? You’ll get it.

The rest of the year passed and Hamzah eventually stopped trying to talk to you. You didn’t care, or so you acted like that. It was nice having him cling onto you for a bit, but as soon as that stopped, he straight up became an asshole. He had a nasty, disgusted face everytime you’d cross paths and sometimes even tried tripping you or fell onto you by accident. Did he really hate you that much in the end? He broke you, really..

-

-

3 Years passed by, like days—calm like the river flow

The bass of the music thumped in your chest as you stumbled your way through the club, laughter and chatter blending into the rhythm. You’d had a bit to drink, enough to let loose, but not enough to completely lose yourself. You needed a break from the noise, so you made your way to the bathroom.

The moment you pushed the door open, the cool air hit your face, and you took a deep breath. You leaned against the sink, your reflection staring back at you—a slightly tipsy version of yourself, but still, you were fine. Just needed a minute.

You were trying to focus on getting yourself together when the door creaked open behind you. The sound of footsteps made you glance up, and then—him.

Hamzah

Your breath got caught in your throat. Of all places. Of all the nights. Why here? Was your luck really fucking testing you right now?

There he was, standing in the doorway of the bathroom, looking exactly the same as you remembered. His dark defined curls, his eyes still that deep shade of brown, that you once used to stare at and get lost in. Your pulse sped up, and your stomach twisted into knots, the alcohol in your system only amplifying everything.

He paused when he saw you, his expression unreadable, but you could feel the tension building in the small, dimly lit space between you. Neither of you spoke for a moment.

“You’re here..? What are you doing here?” You said your voice a little slurred, trying to play it cool but failing miserably. “Didn’t expect to see you in the ladies’ room.”

He laughed softly, the sound almost making you forget how you ended your whole friendship over a stupid girl. Almost. “Guess we’re both full of surprises,” he said, eyes flickering to the door as if he was about to leave.

But he didn’t move.

You took a small step back, feeling the weight of the situation sink in. Why was he just standing there? Why wasn’t he leaving?

“I’m, uh, i’ll see myself out then” you said, trying to walk past him, but he stepped forward, blocking your way.

“Actually, im glad i met you here.” he said, towering over you “Now that you have nowhere to go, don’t ya think you can give me a clear explanation.”

oh fuck me. That’s crazy..You thought to yourself.

Now that you were getting a closer look—He definitely got taller, his arms and face looked way more defined than before as well.. and his voice—that high pitched voice that you were used to, sounds a lot more manly now and definitely deeper too..Has he been smoking? Wait-no no NO. None of these mattered right now. You have a problem here and now, and unfortunately none of your friends to get you out of it this time.

“Well~ what are you talking about, im kinda dizzy to be honest.. think we can talk about this laterz maybe?” you giggled a lil bit, trying to act a bit more drunk, maybe you thought to yourself, maybe, he’d let you off the hook.

“I don’t see a reason to talk outside, pretty.”

The club was still loud outside, people shouting and laughing “and who knows, you just might try and run away again.”

Inside the bathroom, it felt like the world had gone silent. Just you and him, stuck in a moment neither of you had fully let go of.

You didn’t know how to respond. Your mind was foggy, you just stared into his dark coloured eyes.

Has he always been that hot or was it the alcohol smacking you right in the face right now? This is ridiculous. Why would you think like that about your childhood friend. Wait no it’s not me though, it’s definitely the alcohol, can’t be…Great, am i talking to myself now?

Out of nowhere—you got hit with the coldness of the tiles on the wall. Hamzah had pinned you down to the wall. You swallowed hard, your breath starting to get uneven as you try to quiet down your heart with it.

“are you communicating? Im talking to you this whole time, and you just, chose to ignore me again.” he said teasingly, pointing out the past.

Hamzah smirked, his gaze not leaving yours. There was a tense silence between you two, the kind that hung in the air, thick and unresolved. You wanted to look away, but you couldn’t.

He took a step closer, closing the remaining space in between us, his presence overwhelming. “I’ve been thinking about you, y/n, A lot.”

Your heart pounded almost out of your chest. The alcohol coursing through your veins was blurring the lines between what was real and what you wanted. You should pull away, tell him to leave. But your body was betraying you, your mind too clouded to make the rational choice.

if you were to say you didn’t think of him everyday ever since you graduated either, then, you’d definitely be lying…But that’s another thing.

“Actually, you know what. No. You don’t get to talk to me like this—as if you really miss me, after being such an asshole to me in highschool.” his hand, with sudden, fast-yet gentle emotions, now wrapping your neck. Not squishing tight, only enough to show how mad he was.

Slowly, he brought his mouth to your ear “Me? Being the asshole? Right, as if I ignored you for no reason, first.” he said, softly.

Hamzah’s gaze fierce as a knife, he eyed you up and down, like a a snake observing it’s prey. And before you knew it, his lips were on yours, urgent and hungry. The kiss was passionate and rough. His hand found its way to your waist, pulling you closer, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to sink into him, to forget all the hurt and confusion.

You kissed him back, letting the heat build, drowning in the way he made you feel—alive, wanted, and reckless all at once. His hands moved to your hips, pressing you against the cool tile of the bathroom wall, and you let him, letting the past, and the bitterness fall away with every passing second.

The door behind you creaked slightly, but you didn’t care. The club, the noise, the people outside—it all seemed so far away. There was only him. Only the way his lips and tongue moved with yours, the way his hands held you like you were the only thing that mattered.

“Are you sure about this?” he breathed against your lips, his voice thick with desire. He was holding back.

How did you end up like this? Were those feelings just, pend up anger? None of it mattered, you just wanted to feel the heat of the moment

You pulled him closer, your hands sliding into his curls, needing him, needing this, even if you didn’t quite understand why. “Yeah..” you whispered, the word falling out before you could stop it. You needed him to hear it. You needed him to know.

to be continued

────୨ৎ────

✎ a/n first time writing kinda nervous.. I think this may be kinda boring at first since i was yapping a lot. The original story was like 2 times this one but i had to rewrite it eventually 😭 there also may be some spelling errors or just some shit that don’t make sense but please bear with me since english is not my first language

[dandysworld-meh-imagines]

TWISTED ASTRO X READER (romantic) PLEASEEEEE ❤️

Twisted Astro X Gender-Neutral Reader Headcanons!

Hello, dear! Always happy to write twisted x reader, haha! I hope you like it! Here you go and thank you for requesting! <3

-Anna

-You will actually pretty much almost never see him, if not at all. He refuses to show himself to you, not only because he doesn't want to hurt you but also because he feels so guilty and doesn't want you to see him like this. His footsteps are so quiet and soft, you pretty much never really notice he's even there.. watching you from afar, making sure you are safe. He almost doesn't dare get close to you, nope.

-It's basically like that for the entire floor, he is keeping his eyes on you but not for too long at all, he doesn't want to accidentally release some power and you end up feeling very tired all of a sudden. He fears the day where he'll go fully crazy, mind completely gone thanks to our beloved ichor. He constantly checks his hands to see if they are twitchy or anything. He is hurting from ichor but he wishes that you never experience this in your entire life.

-He makes sure any twisteds that dare to approach you are extremely tired suddenly, making them drop to their knees as they try to keep up with you to hurt you or straight up sleeping with their face on the floor. It confused and disturbed the hella out of you! Why is everyone falling asleep after chasing you or the others? If you leave that spot, he even goes and picks up the twisted he used his ability on and places them somewhere comfortable. They might be twisteds but they are still his friends.

-You also hear a lot of soft and space like noises.. you have no idea where they are exactly coming from but they happen often and they kinda tend to freak you out especially when combining the fact that everyone just freaking falls asleep in here randomly! But little did you know that your lost lover is keeping you safe from the entire floor, helping you and the remaining toons to navigate safely and without trouble. He might feel a lot of guilt but he'll keep you safe no matter what.

-If a toon from your team ends up spotting him, he'll make sure to make them pass out before running away, he doesn't want to be seen by anyone and he can only hope that they mention absolutely nothing to you, he really hopes that they think that it was something in their imagination and not the actual reality right now. Well, they just passed out randomly! How weird.. maybe they should get some good rest? It looks like they are seeing things now.. yep, nothing to see here!

-As long as you are not injured and completely safe, that's when he is able to relax as he watches you enter the elevator and leaving with your team. Though he tenses up again at the idea of other twisteds getting to you on the other floors he is not in. How is he supposed to keep you safe? Should he try spamming your team with concerning dreams so they keep you safe and are on high elert? He doesn't know what to do other than try to send you comforting dreams when you are sleeping, sometimes though, they accidentally end up being kinda disturbing and creepy, keeping you on your toes constantly.

-Sometimes though, he gets so scared of losing you that he might accidentally release some of his power to you, making you feel exhausted and needing to lie down for a good while, not that you have any choice or anything or course. You're just worried about any twisteds getting you or your friends since they also feel very very tired all of a sudden. Astro silently curses himself for allowing that to happen, though he at least makes sure to have you not sleeping in a harsh position at the floor, bringing you pillows and blankets, putting them on you and his friends before getting the hell away from there.

-If you ever do manage to sneak up on him somehow after he has lost you from his sight, he will flinch hard and cover himself with his four arms, especially his face, not wanting you to see him as a monster. Instead of using his ability on you immediately, he panics hard enough that he just books it out of there, making sure to hide somewhere which he could keep an eye on you and also avoid you as much as possible, he really wished he could keep the toon image on him on your mind instead of.. whatever this was.

-If he had ever accidentally made you sleep, they were times where he just.. stood there, looking at you as he missed you like crazy. Astro knew damn well that he needs to keep distance, who knows when he'll lose control because of the ichor and hurt you? Even possibly killing you? The guilt will eat him up like there is no tomorrow, he knows it so so well. But when you sleep like that, it reminds him or the times where you were sleeping in bed as he watched over you before continuing to read his book. Oh, how he wished to be able to hold your hand one last time..

-He just really hopes you stay safe and take care of yourself for him.. please. He knows he can't do that much nor get close to you ever again but he hopes you don't get to suffer the same fate as him. He loves you so much to even imagine you in that state, it simply breaks his heart. Astro might not be able to do much when you leave the floor but he can try maybe sending you good dreams.. if he even can thanks to the Ichor and well.. and everything else that's happening to him. The love he has for you is strong and will never change.

Thank you for reading! <3

[hungarianshinobi]

Red flag? I'm colorblind - Fushiguro Toji x F!Reader

-Chapter 1 https://www.tumblr.com/hungarianshinobi/781641513633562624/red-flag-im-colorblind-fushiguro-toji-x?source=share

Chapter 2:

(Y/n)'s POV:

I managed to get off the train with that huge suitcase in my hands. I took a look around for any source of my best friend because she told me she would come here to pick me up.

I didn't see her yet, so I decided that until then I would call my mom. I promised her I would call her once I arrived to Tokyo. Though I won't mention to her what happened on the train with those troublemakers. She would only begin to worry about me and ask me to go back home. I didn't want that.

So I dialed her number and waited for her to pick up. Meanwhile I sat on my suitcase and put a finger in my other ear to muffle the noises of the train station and the crowd that surrounded me.

"(Y/n), my honey! How was your journey? Did you arrive safely?" I heard my mom's lovely voice on the other end of the line, causing me to smile.

"Hi mom. Yes. Everything is fine. I am waiting for Anna right now." I told her and took a look around if she was there yet.

"I'm glad you are okay. Don't forget to rest in the evening, alright?"

I opened my mouth to speak when I heard a familiar voice not too far away from me on the right. "(Y/n)!!!" Anna yelled to me as she begun to run towards me.

"Okay, mom. Anna has arrived. I will call you later. Love you." I told her.

"Take care, honey. I love you too." She said and I barely had time to hang up, because Anna jumped on me, causing us to land on the ground.

Fortunately the impact wasn't too big, because I was wearing my backpack which prevented me from hurting myself. "Anna!" I laughed.

"(Y/n), I can't believe that you are finally here!" She said excitedly and climbed off of me, offering her hand for me to help me stand up on my feet as well.

It's been a pretty long time since we last saw each other and I was so glad to see her again. She grabbed one of my bags and we walked out of the train station together towards her car. She told me stories about what I've missed out until now, also flooding about the cool apartment she found for us.

She showed it to me already through a video call, but we all know that cannot compare to reality.

Of course when we were out in the streets I couldn't help but stare around in awe. All those huge skyscapers, the led signs, the enormous crowd and everything else I could only see on pictures and movies up until now was in front of me. I was so excited, because all of it felt unreal. It caused adrenaline rush through my mind and body.

"You look like me when I first came here." Anna laughed, unlocking the trunk to put my belongings into it.

"Why?" I asked, helping her with all the heavy stuff.

"I was as awestruck as you. Tokyo looks like as if it was an another world compared to the small village where we came from." She said, closing the trunk and walking to the driver's seat.

I followed her, sitting in the passenger seat. "Yes. It's so modern. The village is like as if we were stuck in the age of ancient Japan. Even though I like it's traditionality, this is better."

Anna drove off, heading towards our common apartment. On our way I watched my surroundings with a smile that nothing and no one could wipe off my face. The people, the shops, all those tiny and bigger restaurants, booths... sport cars I never saw in reality before. All of it was a dream. Tokyo was lively both at daytime and night. Calling myself excited was an understatement.

About half an hour later we reached a bit quieter part of the town. This region was rather full of apartment buildings. Less bright street lights and much less led signs than in downtown. The neighorhood looked friendly to me.

Anna parked the car in the parking lot, stopping the engine. We both stepped out of the car, grabbed my stuff and begun walking towards one of the buildings. If there weren't any numbers on them as a sign, I would definitely get lost and never find our home again.

My best friend however was living in the town for a while now, so she is definitely used to it and could find anything with her eyes closed too I guess. Probably later I will get used to it as well.

She led the way inside, telling me to code for the door lock of our apartment building which I forget like a moment later.

Just like when somebody tells me their name. We introduce ourselves and I swear to myself I won't forget this time, eventually failing of course. I am as bad with codes as with names. It's a miracle I didn't forget my own name yet.

Anna pushed the button for the elevator, dropping one of my heavy bags down on the ground which landed with a rough thud. "What the hell are you carrying in this? Bricks?" She asked, rubbing her shoulder, feeling a slight of pain due to the weight of my bag.

I begun laughing at her remark sarcastically. "Ha-ha... Very funny. I just brought all my necessary and personal stuff I will need."

A faint sound echoed on the main floor, signaling us that our elevator has arrived. Two unknown people which were probably living in the building as well exited, before we could get inside. Anna pushed the button to the 11th floor and soon the door closed, slowly carrying us up to our desired destination.

Once we were on the floor whereas our apartment was located as well, we exited the elevator and Anna took her keys out of her purse, opening the front door soon.

We dropped everything in the room which is going to be mine. Anna just moved in as well, so the entire place was full of boxes and unorganized stuff, but we will put everything in it's place later. She showed me around and it definitely looked betterin life than on the video call as I mentioned earlier. It was not that big, but for the two of us it will be enough.

I made my way to the kitchen and opened the fridge to look for literally anything that is edible, but it was completely empty, expect for a half bottle of milk and a half eaten tomato.

Much to my disappointment I sighed in defeat, closing the fridge as I turned to Anna. "Guess we are ordering something huh?"

She was already dialing a number and ordered a pizza. That will make it for today, but we will have to go and buy some groceries so we could make and eat proper food. Not that I'm against pizza or something, but I wouldn't want to eat fast food everyday. Besides that it's ridiculously expensive, it's unhealthy as well and I would only gain weight pretty soon...

Me and my insecurities about my body shape doesn't like the idea of junk food either...

Almost an hour passed and the pizza has arrived. Since the television wasn't unpacked as well as many other stuff, we had to rely on Anna's laptop and watched a movie as we ate our lunch... or dinner. It was getting late in the afternoon, so yeah, it was rather dinner.

"We must go out tonight." She suggested, chewing on the huge slice of pizza she took out from the box.

"Ah, no... I should rest for tonight. The train journey was so goddamn long." I whined.

"That's another reason to go out tonight. It's been so long and the guys here are so much hotter than in the village. Please~" she begged me.

I averted my gaze from her when she mentioned guys. She knew it very well that I never had a boyfriend before, so the mere thought of it made me embarassed. She wasn't a dating type either, but at least she knows a bit more about men than me.

"I don't want to go out just because you want to drool for hot guys. If we go out, then at least focus on each other." I suggested. I wasn't too much in the mood to go out, but if it was just a girls only night, I'm okay with it.

Anna sticked her tongue out. "Party pooper. You're so damn innocent. You need someone in your life to break that wall of yours. It's always the innocents who are the most perverted." She remarked, causing me to turn even more embarassed.

Why would she think about such a thing...

She continued. "But maybe you are right. Let's go out and have a girly night like in the old times."

I grinned back at her, remembering all those great times we spent together. Our sleepovers, the hot cocoas, making each others hair and makeup to make a fashion show at home. It was always so fun with her. Perhaps we could repeat it tonight with a small difference because we would actually go out and not stay at home like in the past. There was nothing in that village anyway.

After eating and finishing the movie we watched, we took turns in the bathroom and prepared for tonight. Makeup and other beauty products were spread across the counter and the sink, making a complete mess.

We did each others makeup and hair just like in the past. Anna didn't let me choose my dress though. She said she won't let me go out in my casual clothes, so she chose a dress herself from my suitcase.

"Isn't this too much?" I asked her, looking down at myself. The dress was actually sexy. It was skin tight and my favourite pair of heels matched with it, but I felt like there was too much skin exposed.

"Not at all! You look stunning! You just stay in this." She insisted, causing me to sigh in defeat.

Soon she dressed up too and we were ready to go out. She said she knows a place which I would like too, so we called a cab. She also said she is planning to drink a few rounds, so that's why she won't drive.

During our ride I told her about what happened on the train with those troublemakers and that man who saved me. She was totally hooked on the story, asking millions of questions as I continued speaking. She couldn't leave out the detail about my savior and asked me how he looked.

After we paid for the ride, we walked inside the cafe she was talking about earlier. Though for me it rather looked like a bar, but the vibe of the place was to my liking, she was right about that, so I had no problem with it.

"Well, as far as I can recall he had black hair, he was as tall and muscular as a giant. He looked quite young, but definitely older than us. There was a detail though that surely made his face unique." I told her in a nutshell as we sat down in one of the corners that seemed comfortable.

"Yes yes, what was it?" She was so excited.

"He had a scar on his lip."

I grabbed the menu on the table and scanned it's contents with my eyes, looking for a drink I might like.

"Like him?" Anna asked.

"Hm?" I looked up at her and saw her pointing at something. Or rather someone.

I didn't want to show my surprisement too much, but the gasp that left my lips didn't go unnoticed by Anna.

The man who saved me from those thugs was walking up to the bar, sitting down on of the barstools, wearing a lazy looking outfit which contained of a white shirt and black sweatpants. "Hey Johnny. The usual." he said before looking around the place to see the faces.

And of course he spotted me... A sly smirk appeared on his lips before he grabbed his glass to take a sip from the alcohol he ordered, sending a wink to my direction.

Anna elbowed me and whispered. "He remembers you!"

I'm doomed...

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

End of Chapter 2

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-Hungarian Shinobi

[taemcains]

do you think requiem's update was weak?

in general, now that there only final episode left, what are your thoughts on season 2?

what a mess.

not one thing i would've predicted about s2 months back is now true, nor does it even feel like the same story. everything i loved about hsr and what made it distinct and unique — the snowy landscape, a desolate small town crumbling under its own history and sins, how the setting perfectly reflected lane's insides, the mystery of the lis, not knowing who we could trust, if we could trust lane herself, her trying to understand and come to terms with the humanity ripped from her — all of it sacrificed for... what?

nothing is eerie, and with how the most horrific events happen so casually and are brushed over in seconds — the shredder, kira's death — the shock value is starting to wear off, and what's left underneath does not hold up. what i'm confused about is why and how it feels like she's both rushing through and at the same time it's snail paced.

i think she has a few major plot points in mind, and is filling the gaps between them with whatever (which is what the entirety of season two has been) which is fine but 1. she could've spread the events out over a longer timeline 2. she could've used this time to deepen our understanding of lane's psyche and her relationships with the lis instead of fitting in every apocalypse fantasy she can conceive of.

everything is stagnant. lane, the plot. i can't even call the lis stagnant because when have they ever felt vivid? they have a defining trauma and she ran with it — dmitry and pavel, greg and emma, and since anna doesn't have any we have a 'i'm a girl and i like girls?!' situation at their grown age in an apocalypse. she's following the same format as s1 for s2, but in s1 it worked as the equal parts allure and wariness made sense for two people born/made closed off and suspicious yet yearning for connection. but in s2, a time to deepen and split open the past, motivations, to provide a solid ground for the basis of their affection, they're staying afloat on physical attraction and half-assed omg their trauma 🙁

a main character like lane deserves character arcs to be treated with as much importance as plot progression. the mercy/no mercy stat feels like a convenient way to wash her hands off actually showing how lane gets to that point. it's unnatural, and it leaves me frustrated with lane who is still the same girl we saw in s1e1.

what has changed in two seasons, both plot and character wise? if s1 was utilized to set the framework for the rest of the story, such as by giving us glimpses of her childhood, then s2 should've delved into the emotional aspect of it. while the impact of it on her views and relationships is shown, nothing ever seems to challenge it. events pass by without a reverberation in her soul; all her inner monologues are some vague opinions she believes as fact about humanity and its nature and nothing, not the plot, not the lis, ever seem to make her question it. i'd thought the whole point of writing a character like her in a setting with high-risk, deadly, tense situations is to force her out of the shell she confines herself to, and make her look at her own light as well as darkness. what is the point if she's never forced to confront them?

so of course the romance routes are lacking in truth and depth. cain has the excuse of subtext and parallels and soulmateism, but what about the rest? i don't know too much about dmitry, but greg's route is both painful and baffling. on what basis does he dream of domestic bliss when he knows as much about her as any random member of the squad? at the end of s2 (2/3rd into the book!) their romance is still based off 'you're a fantasy, you're my reality.' while cute, is that all she can think of for them? some vague unexplained attraction and lane liking to be desired? greg has nice shoulders and a sister, then what?

she could've shown them seeing an aspect of themself in her (where i assumed dmitry's route was heading), or sympathise with her, but how are they falling for her without knowing her depths? based off an inexplicable attraction alone. more than halfway through. it's so unbalanced. does she even like them? does she even know them? (yan 😴) does it make sense for a mistrustful character like lane to fall for some rando? with cain, she shows affection in her own way but greg's scenes are just pitiful.

no need to speak of anna. i'd argue someone shouldn't be telling you to not be homophobic, but let's set that aside for now and look at writers who have at the very least heeded the fandom's criticism and concerns and took a step towards providing better representation. i don't care what vision she has (which isn't even counting how anna hasn't been given a consistent personality – why would she pull away in disgust when she made it abundantly clear she's into women in s1?) if the people you're attempting to represent tell you it's problematic and uncomfortable, you listen. it reeks of arrogance on her part.

the -2 female characters in this book get such... strange treatment. anna appears to plot dump about the infection, or be lane's walking wardrobe. kira... not to be the friend that's too woke but every single man in the squad sustaining some kind of injury and bouncing back but kira had to be explicitly sobbing and sniveling to lane for a chance to live, and still die, after that whole 'i'm going to move on' epiphany? nick and noah who were kidnapped and held by the cultists for forever, lestor who got eyeballed by an infected, but it was kira who had to die by falling into a pit?

the only defense i hear anymore is of the plot and it's unique, twisted charm and. well! we haven't made headway in an entire season, and keep getting dragged off into useless side plots. as a friend @cainlane 🤍 aptly put it,

i was talking to a mutual today ab how funny the plot looks when the entirety of s2 follows the formula of squad finds out something and goes there -> cult is (and by what means i have no idea) already there -> they fight -> cult goes away (once again by what means idk)

the foreshadowing is ridiculously vague, all required information is somehow conveniently preserved in documents, and it's getting exhausting to read it all over again every update, when we all know how the scintillating potential of s1 could've carried over into s2.

i tried very hard to think of a positive, something that has improved from s1 and nothing comes to mind. oh well. i'm still going to be (tentatively) seated for the rest of the book but know it's with a heavy heart.

also the diamond choices are ridiculously expensive for nothing ❤️ suck my dick

[flnpushy]

Classic Story...

all birth stories

My old Story: Anna's Birth Struggle Anna had recently graduated and was college bound. Being 18 was fun for Anna and she enjoyed the graduated life. Her boyfriend Tom was also looking forward to college as well, but the two would be separated as they had been accepted to different schools. On the final night before moving away for school, they spent the evening together. Alone. Three months had gone by since the two had been together. Things were going well for him, but no so well for Anna. She was sick most mornings, and just felt off. A couple more weeks went by before she finally called her mom. She told her about her morning sickness and other symptoms. Her mom asked if she had taken a pregnancy test. To that she answered “Are you nuts?” “I’m not pregnant.” A few more days passed, she finally gave in and took a test. The test said she was indeed pregnant. She didn’t believe it so she took another. Same result. She called her mom in disbelief. “Mom I’m Pregnant.” Anna said. “OH my goodness....” Her mother replied. “What about school?” She asked Anna. “I don’t know mom, I don’t know what to do.” Regardless her mom was actually very excited, but Anna was far from excited. She had waited years to go to college and now it was all at risk. She visited the doctor where they confirmed she was about three months along. Much to far to go back now. Anna Couldn’t believe it. A baby? She didn’t want to have a baby! She then had to let Tom know. She didn’t know how he would react. She was very nervous making that call. “Tom, Its me, Your going to be a dad.” Anna said. There was a brief silence on the line.... “Oh my god are you serious?!?” He said excitedly. “Are you mad.” Anna asked. “Of course I’m not mad, Im absolutely ecstatic.” “Why would I be mad Anna, Its my fault your pregnant!” He said. “Oh thank god your happy.” Anna said. “What about our schooling?” “Its ok Anna, we will make it happen no matter what, I’m here for you!” Tom said. Most days Anna had morning sickness and other issues. Pregnancy was not easy for her. Anna was a petite brunette. She was small overall. She has a small frame, tiny arms, and she was only 5 foot 2. She was still just a girl in reality, but she now was going to become a woman faster then she had ever imagined. She continued her studies as best she could. Eventually the ninth month had arrived. Annas belly was like a basketball protruding from her body. Anna knew she would birth at home as this was her wish. Her mom Mary had been preparing thier home for months. Everything Mary could afford to get she got in preparation for the birth. Finally summer break arrived and a very pregnant Anna returned to her home, and Tom did to. One morning Anna awoke early to pains in her belly. This wasnt unusual for her as the baby frequently moved around in her belly causing discomfort. These pains were different however. She felt around the top of her belly. She could feel a little baby foot squirming around within her. Anna was grossed out by the babies movements, she didnt like the idea that a baby was inside her. She was ready to be done, ready to give birth and be back to being a normal girl again. Anna prepared a breakfast and joined her boyfriend Tom on the front porch for a Saturday morning conversation. Tom asked how Anna was doing and knew that she was in some type of pain. “I think it may be happening.” Anna said “Ok honey, lets get things ready.” Tom replied. Tom prepared her bed with clean sheets and comfortable pillows. He also layed out towels in the bathoom and on the bed to catch fluids during the birthing process. A couple hours later Anna was in real pain, labor had begun and her belly squirmed wildly as the baby moved toward the birth canal. The contractions were sharper and shaper and it wasnt long before Anna was really hurting. She layed sprawled out on the couch, trying her hardest to bear

through each contraction. She was wearing a light shirt, bra, and panties. She fought the pain as best she could, but still yelped in pain with each contraction. Tom had read up on birth and was going to school to be a doctor. He figured this would be a good training opportunity.

“My poor baby girl.” Tom said, sitting beside her. Anna continued to struggle through the pain. Anna entered transition, this was the worst pain she had ever faced. “Oh my god, oh oh oh, help me, ahhhhhhh” Anna yelped. She continued her struggle. Till finally transition had ended. The baby was now low in her belly and engaged in her pelvis. “Ok its time to check your cervix to see if you can push.” Tom said Anna sat upon the bed and Tom inserted a finger to check Anna. “Good girl Anna, your right on the money, 10 centimeters!” “So now what do I do?” Anna asked. “Time to push that baby out hun!” Tom replied. “Im scared.” Anna said. “I know baby girl, but its so close to being done now.” Tom said. Anna endured another couple of contractions. She was ready to get over to the bed, but the next contraction brought a tiny gush of fluids. “Whats happening!?!” Anna shrieked. “Your water broke baby, The baby is coming now!” Tom replied. Anna and Tom went to the bed, Anna waddled as it was so strange to her having so much pressure between her legs. They arrived at the bedside. Anna took off her shirt, bra, and panties, then climbed into bed. “Wow look at my beautiful baby girl” Tom said. “You are so beautiful.” “Ok how do I do this.” Anna asked. Tom put several pillows behind his pregnant girlfriends head, he put an absorbent pad under her butt as well. “Lift your butt baby.” Tom said as she slid the pad underneath. “Ok now we wait for a contraction and you push.” Tom said. “I will teach you how to push.” Tom stated. Tom put a finger in her opening. “Feel my finger?” Tom asked. “Yes.” Anna replied. “Ok when a contraction comes, your push like your having a bowel movement right at this spot.” He said “Ok” Anna replied. It was time to put her newly acquired knowledge to the test. A contraction came. “Ok baby, pull your legs up toward your chest and push like your pooping.” Tom instructed. Anna pulled back her little legs and pushed. “Grrrrr.” she grunted out. She then stopped. “Good girl Anna.” Tom said. “Hold those pushes good and long.” Tom stated. Anna pushed again. “mmmmmm grrrrrr ahhhhhh.” She grunted hard. The contraction ended. “Good girl baby!” Tom said. “Now relax.” “How many pushes will I have to do?” Anna asked. “Could be a few minutes, could be a few hours babe.” Tom said. “A FEW HOURS!” Anna yelled. “Yes baby, pushing a baby out is a long process. Your young and small, The baby has to stretch you out to get free.” Tom said. “You will be ok. Just breath and relax.” Another contraction came.

“Ok baby girl, here goes.” Tom said. Anna pulled back her legs and grunted. She pushed good and hard this time, curling her little toes in protest of the pain. “Good push girl! And again!” Tom said. Anna pushed again and again till the contraction was over. “Ok babe, lets see what we can see.” Tom said. Tom used both hands to open her opening. He poked around a bit. ‘“Ok girl, heres a contraction, push hard.” He said Anna pushed with all her strength. “Ohhhh!!! We have something here!” Tom said. “I see something!” Tom said again. “We have a little baby head!” “I wanna see the baby!” Anna said. Tom grabbed a large mirror and placed in in front of her, she then pulled back her opening once more. “Ok push hard and watch the mirror” Tom said. Anna pushed, in the tiny little back of her opening a tiny spot of hair was visible. As the push stopped the spot went away. “Where did my baby go?” Anna asked. “Back in your tummy.” Tom said. “Why in my tummy, I want her out!” Anna stated. “Birth is a two steps forward, one step back process baby. The baby will come out a bit, then go back in a bit, remember she is stretching you out so she can get free.” Tom said. “ I want her out!” Anna said. “Honey, she will come out, you have to push her out. “ Tom said. Anna dropped her legs as the contraction ended. Tom grabbed more pillows as it was a struggle for Anna to push and hold her legs open. He put pillows under Annas legs to support them. Then another contraction came. Anna moaned as she pushed, she struggled and quivered. Her perineum however was starting to bulge a bit with each push. “I’m uncomfortable.” Anna said. “Change positions honey, you have the whole bed.” Tom said. “Try side laying, I’ll support your upper leg when you push.” Anna slowly moved from laying on her back to laying on her side. Her cute little Belly touching the mattress. Another contraction came. Tom supported her upper leg as she began to push again. Anna dug deep and bored down with all her strength, the perineum slowly bulged outward. As the push ended the perineum bulge disappeared. The contraction continued so Anna pushed again. Once again the bulge appeared, and then slowly disappeared as the push ended. “Good girl Anna, your making her move in there!” Tom said. “With every push your helping the baby escape from your womb.” Tom laid down first and let Anna lie down on his lap. He did this to comfort Anna and help her push the baby out. The mirror was positioned so that Anna and Tom could see the progress. Little did Anna know this was just the beginning of the battle. Another round of contractions Hit Anna. Assisted by her boyfriend she began pushing again. Anna drew back her legs and let out a push. She curled her toes as she pushed, her Tummy shook and quivered as she pushed hard to free the baby. Her perineum bulged as she continued to push the baby. The next push brought the bulge out further. It was becoming evident that the baby's head was close to the opening. A few moments later another push came over Anna. She strained and struggled, but her efforts were awarded. She pushed again, the perineum bulged farther this time. Anna continued to struggle, however she was about to be rewarded. As in her vulva, a tiny tuft of hair protruded. “Good Girl baby!” We can see that little Head! Tom said.

As the push came to an end the tuft of hair receded from view. The contraction ended. Anna relaxed in between the waves. Less than a minute later the next contraction started. Tom assisted Anna in drawing her legs back. Anna pushed with all of her strength. The tiny tuft of hair appeared in the opening once more.

“Reach down and touch the baby.” Tom said Anna reached down with her hand, and for the first time touched her baby's head. “Ewww its slippery and gross!” Anna said. Tom just laughed. The next contraction started. Anna Drew back her legs once more and pushed. The baby's head became slightly more visible this time. However as the push ended the baby's head drew back inside of Anna’s tummy. She was so close, but yet so far. When pushing she could see her baby, but the battle was far from over. “Ok baby girl, the next stage is the tricky one. The babies head will fight your perineum to get out. When you push the head will come out, but when you stop it will roll back. The perineum skin will hold the baby inside of you. You must overcome this skin to get the baby out.” Tom instructed. It was time for Anna to dig deep. Her baby's head was stuck in between her legs, and only she could free it. It did not matter how much assistance her boyfriend gave her, it was totally up to her to give birth to the babies head. Anna knew that Tom could not pull the baby from within her. It had to be done on her own. The next contraction came. Anna's Little body strained as she began to push. Below her belly the tiny baby Head was starting to emerge. It seemed so much more fluid in her. The head was more responsive to her pushing now. Even a tiny push had a reaction on the baby. Tom layed behind her and watched the action unfold in the mirror. He was so proud of what his girl was doing, and slightly aroused. Anna pushed again which revealed the baby's head once more, however as she stopped the head receded back in. The battle between baby and skin had begun. Every push moved the head into the opening, but at the end of every push the baby went back inside of Annas tummy. The battle continued. Anna pushed down hard, the baby responded this time, and the head protruded quite far. However with the end of the push the baby went back into her tummy. Anna made tiny moaning sounds as she pushed hard to free her baby. She needed a position change to see if she could push the head free in a different position. Lying on her back was obviously getting her nowhere as the baby continued to go in and out. She once again switched to side lying. Tom supported her upper leg as she pushed. The baby's head came into view then slowly rolled back in as Anna stopped pushing. The little baby head was not coming anytime soon. It's almost as though the baby preferred Annas tiny little Tummy. Anna continued to struggle, but the babies head remained firm in her. It had now been two hours since Anna began pushing. She had made good progress, but the babies head was still within her. The baby had made an appearance several times, but refused to stay in the opening. Anna's Young perineum skin just was not allowing the baby to come forth. Anna was becoming desperate. She wanted the baby out of her badly but no matter how hard she struggled the head would not come free. Still on her side she began to wiggle her tiny hips back-and-forth. “Good girl Anna. Move those hips, it may help her out.” Tom said. “Follow your instincts.” Anna resumed another push. As she wiggled her hips back and forth the baby's head started to make more headway. The tiny tuft of hair head become the top of the babies skull. A tiny teardrop shape was starting to happen. Anna's perineum skin was finally starting to stretch. “Good job baby girl, wiggle that tummy and get that baby out!”Tom said. “Uhh, uhgrrrm, ooh god, mmmmm.” Anna moaned as she pushed. Anna was getting tired And frustrated. It was time for an all out massive push. “Im going for it.” Anna said. “Hold me open.” Anna waited for the next contraction to set in, Tom held her opening below to allow more space for the babies head. Anna breathed in any gathered all of her strength. She dug her feet into the mattress, strained as hard as she possibly could and let out the biggest push she had

ever done. She wiggled from side to side as she pushed. The baby's had came far into the opening. The furthest it had been yet. Even a small portion of the babies forehead was visible. However at the end of her massive push, the babies went back inside the tummy. “Wow honey, I was for sure that would have her out!” Tom said.

“I dont think I can get her out.” Anna stated. “You can honey, I will coach you.” Tom said. Tom began the coaching. He came around from behind her to assist the perineum in opening. “Ok baby, hard push.” Mary said “1 2 3 4 5... “good let go.” Tom continued coaching her for another 15 minutes. The baby's head continued into yo-yo action. Slowly coming visible with the push, and receding back in with the end. Finally after a few more pushes the head was starting to come forth far into crowning. Even though the baby's head was starting to crown, at the end of the push the head was still receding into Anna's tummy. Tom continued to coach his girlfriend, but the head refused to come free. The perineum skin was still fighting to keep the baby inside. No matter how hard Anna pushed the baby continued to recede in at the end. Tom assisted her by pulling back the skin as she pushed. Anna was taking a real working over and Tom knew that she would soon tire to the point of exhaustion. “I cant get her out.” Anna said. “Ive been in the same spot now for 45 minutes and the head is still stuck.” “I know baby girl, you have worked so hard, your perineum is just so tight.” Tom said. The babies head remained in the vulva. Visible, but not able to get free of the perineum. “Help me, I cant get her out.” Anna wailed. Anna began to doubt, she had worked so hard, but with no avail. Tom had doubts as well, seeing his poor girl struggle was starting to make him wonder as well. They took a break for a few minutes and regained composure. “Help, help me.” Anna said. “There is nothing I can do to free the baby honey, you just have to keep going.” Tom said. Anna let out a tiny grunty push. The head moved, but barely. She pushed again. Once again the baby responded, but it was little effort against the tight perineum. The baby receded back into Annas tummy. Once again becoming clenched by the Tight perineum. It was time to take a break and give up for a while, it was becoming apparent that Anna was not going to be able to free the baby. She was simply too tired, and her skin too tight. Anna drew her legs together and the baby disappeared from the Vulva back into her tummy. Anna stood up. It was time to take a break and walk. The walking motion and the movement of her hips might help the baby get into a better position to get free. The baby now back firmly in the tummy made Anna upset. She had carried this baby for the last nine months, and now it was so close to coming out, but yet she was unable to get it out. She could feel the baby moving within her, she could feel it kick and struggle to get free of her tight skin. She began to wonder if the baby would actually fit out of her. Anna endured more contractions as she paced around the bedroom. She could feel the babies head just inside her rubbing the perineum as she walked. It was a strange feeling. After 30 minutes of walking around, it was time for the inevitable. Anna needed to starting pushing again. Anna returned to the bed with Tom at her side. She drew back her legs and began pushing once more. She breathed in and bored down, her skin bulged below. She pushed again, the skin bulged farther and the vulva opened. She pushed again, the head came back to view then slowly receded with the end of the push. The next contraction came. Anna pushed hard and the head came to view, as the push slowed the head went back. Anna was grunting will all her might to free the little baby, but it was stuck. The tiny head held tightly in place. She took a breath. The head slipped slowly back in. “Good girl Anna, it will happen, just stay with it.” Tom said. However after several hours of pushing Tom was starting to get worried she would not be able to get the baby out on her own. Secretly he was turned on by this. Anna kept at it though, pushing hard to get the head moving, then watching it go back inside. She knew she really had no other choice but to get the baby out. The morning turned in to afternoon as Anna continued

to push the baby out. The head had now been going in and out for two long hours. Anna had now been pushing for five total hours. Anna’s body was covered in sweat, and she was becoming very exhausted. “Tom, the baby isn’t coming out.” Anna said. “I’ve been at this for hours.”

“I know babe, but the head is right there in your opening, It will come.” Tom replied. “Yes I know Tom, but her head has been there for two hours!” Anna said. “Are you enjoying seeing me like this?” “No babe of course not, I mean you are quite cute when you push, but I want the baby to come out to.” Tom said. Anna returned to pushing, she grunted hard and long. The babies head was right there at the opening, but just refused to come out any farther. Anna tried and tried again to get the baby out but with no prevail. “Ok Tom, I’m throwing in the towel.” Anna said. “Your baby isn’t coming out.” Anna felt trapped by this. She had a baby stuck in her, she couldn’t get it out, she began to feel anxious. Her anxiety made her tense up. This made the baby retract back inside her. As the baby retracted her tummy got bigger. “Looks like your still pregnant.” Tom said. “Yes, but I’ve been trying to get un-pregnant now for hours!” Anna said. “Why did you have to put such a big baby in me Tom? Anna asked. “I’m not sure its a size issue, I think there is another complication.” Tom replied. Anna went to say something again but was stopped by a contraction. She pushed hard and the head moved out to its farthest yet. The head stayed in the opening for a few seconds before slowly retracting back inside. “See babe, your getting it, that was the farthest its been out yet.” Tom said. “Well ok, I’ll keep trying.” Anna said. Anna pushed again with the next contraction, the head came slowly into view. The babies hair was dry now, it had been in the same spot for so long. Feeling the head going in and out was starting to become natural to Anna. It was actually starting to become slightly pleasureable. She pushed again feeling the head push against her opening. She was becoming aroused. Tom noticed this. “Starting to like it babe?” Tom asked. “Well.... I mean I want it out, but the feeling.....” Anna said. Anna continued to work the baby in and out of her. The head would slowly decend and push her opening, then retract back within her. Anna continued this until she could handle the pleasure no more. Her body shook and quivered with pure sensation. As the sensation overtook her she pushed, her opening contracted in and out. The babies head did the same, however it wasn’t popping out as she thought. The tension of the contractions held the baby tight within her. “Ok Tom thats it, your baby is stuck in me and I want it out now.” Anna said. “Get this baby out of me or else.” “Ok ok, lets see whats going on in there.” Tom replied. Tom reached in Annas opening, he felt around the babies stuck head with his finger. He got around to the bottom of the head and found the problem. “Ok so first of all we have a hand here, and second of all the baby is face up.” Tom said. “Theses two conditions make birth just about impossible.” Tom then withdrew his finger. “I suppose I could pull the hand free making birth much easier.” Tom said as he took a step backwards. “Ok so do it then.” Anna said. “Nah your ok babe, Just keep pushing.” Tom said as he stepped farther away. “Are you nuts Tom!” Anna said. “Your just so cute when you push.” Tom said. “Tom I command you to pull that hand out.” Anna said straining to push. “You’ll get it babe.” Tom said.

“TOM!!” Anna yelled. Tom slowly sat back down at her side. Anna desperately reached down and tried to feel for the babies hand. She could get her fingers just inside, but her belly was to big to be able to reach far enough inside. She gave up and moaned in protest. “Good girl Anna, just keep pushing.” Tom said. “Oh I’m going to get you for this!” Anna said. Anna went to move toward Tom but was hit with another painful contraction. She pulled her legs back and pushed as hard as she could. “Mmmmm Ahhhhhh, COME OUT BABY!” She yelled. She pushed hard again. “OHH MMMM AHHH, COME OUT!” She was gaining traction on the baby, moving its head ever farther out of her opening. However the babies little hand was preventing escape. She pushed hard again, her belly covered in sweat. She could feel the baby kicking and squirming inside to try and get out. Anna put her legs up on the headboard of the bed and continued to push with all her might. She pushed on her belly with her hands to help the baby. But it wasn’t moving. The baby was stuck just prior to full crown. The forehead was visible, but the face had yet to come. “TOM!” Anna said. “Good effort babe, But your still pregnant.” Tom said. “Make you a deal.” Tom said. “Ok what.” Anna said. “If I can impregnate you again in the future, I’ll pull that hand free.” Tom said. “NO, I don’t want another one of your babies inside me!” Anna said. “Ok keep pushing then.” Tom said. “Quick tip, wiggle your hips.” Anna stood up and got on all fours. Then went into a squat. She pushed and wiggled her hips as much as she could. The babies head began to come forward. She pushed harder and harder, the head began to finally stay down. With the next push the face came forth. It retracted a bit with the end of the push. The next push was a struggle but the baby was moving. “AHHHH MMMM.” Anna grunted as she pushed. The head was coming slowly out. The babies ears started to show. The end of the push had the ears disappear back in, to Toms pleasure. “Good Girl Anna, just keep pushing.” Tom said. The baby was coming but it was also continuing to recede back at the end of the pushes. The next push was finally the one that Anna had been waiting for, with a epic push and struggle, the head finally emerged. It was a relief to Anna to finally have the head out. She wiggled and pushed again, the first shoulder popped free. With the next push the other shoulder and body slipped free. Anna was elated to finally have the baby out. She got to know the new baby, and allowed Tom to bond as well. “So, when can we have another Anna.” Tom said. “Don’t get any silly ideas.” Anna said.

[jessicaslittlelovesickmess]

In this moment

Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x Reader, Reader x oc!Liam (platonic)

Warnings: toxic Melissa, hint to miscarriage, pregnancy, angst, depression, let me know if I missed anything also unedited

Pt.3 of why did you invite me? Pt.2 Pt.4 Pt.5

8 years ago…

I sat alone in the empty hall, Melissa had just left all but slamming the door behind her while I had the pregnancy test in my back pocket. I tried to tell her when I had gotten home that I took one at work but her bags were stacked and she was ready to go.

The words left my lips and all I could do was cry “M-mel baby” but she only looked away “Mel!” It was a weak attempt. I reached out and grabbed her arm as she continued to pack “Melissa stop!” But she wouldn’t.

“I’m pregnant!”

“No you’re not”

We had been using both Melissa’s and mine’s dna so far there had been a few losses “Melissa, I really am!” My voice caught in my throat. “You’ll only lose it again!” She yelled finally facing me “it-it wasn’t my fault” the redhead shook her head before grabbing her things and leaving.

It wasn’t my fault…

Getting used to her absence was hard and as my stomach grew it became much harder it felt like learning to live once again. There were days where the shower felt out of reach, food didn’t feel necessary and I couldn’t move- glued to the bed I once shared with her.

I couldn’t change the sheets for a while, trying to hold onto her scent pretending she was just on a trip until her scent faded and reality hit. She was gone.

She was gone.

And I would raise our child alone

Liam came over a week after she left and looked over at me in sympathy before rolling me off the bed and into the bath. He sat with me and washed my hair just talking to me, I loved him and I hoped he knew “Liam, how will I do this?” I asked him.

“You have me”

I have him

“Thank you” I cried into my hands still in the tub as he rubbed my back

“This clump of cells is also part Liam” he joked

“Careful people might think you’re straight” I rolled my eyes causing him to gasp “as your best friend, you should be thankful I would go straight for you”

“You’re a dick” I laughed “now help me out please the water is getting cold”

-

“It’s a girl” the doctor smiled as my eyes remained on the screen, a girl, a girl, my little girl. Melissa had wanted a girl.

This was all we had ever wanted

-

I stared in the mirror, four months and I felt huge. I traced the stretch marks expanding across my stomach. There is a child in there I thought with a bittersweet smile my little girl, I hadn’t given her a name yet.

-

My due date was nearing

Soon I will have my little girl in my arms, Liam stood in the kitchen making lunch while I finished decorating the nursery. My hand gently glided across the crib back and forth while I glanced around the room, it was a fairytale’s dream.

Fuck you Melissa Ann Schemmenti

I cursed mentally as I sat on the plush rocking chair, Ann- Anna that’s the name of my girl. Pollyanna a name that I had always loved.

My Pollyanna Leah Schemmenti

-

“Congratulations Mama” Liam choked out as he handed me a small bundle of pink blankets this had to be the first time in fifteen years I had ever seen him cry.

I peaked over the blankets looking at her, my girl, and I laughed sadly “she’s fucking ginger” Fuck you Melissa Schemmenti.

“My girl”

[grandhotelabyss]

What do you think of 2025 r*d sc*re (and ig heterodoxy’s regime turn more broadly idk)

To avow a political stance and therefore take responsibility for the exercise of power shows more honor than, for example, the dirtbag left ever has, who resentfully carp and sneer in their permanent exile. If Anna and Dasha had tried to appear aloof and above it all after Trump won, if they'd pled the case that they only supported him for the aesthetic, it would have been disreputable. They're not political pundits, though; they tend not to weigh policies on the merits or to think through their effects "dialectically," as their old comrades would say, or even to do what I do, which is to attempt an exhaustive and exhausting examination of my own divided loyalties and conflicting desires. They're just loyalists, which doesn't make for a good podcast, exacerbated by the paradoxically ultra-democratic un-democratic nature of new-right politics, where the Caesar figure is supposed to channel the will of his constituents directly, thus obviating any need on their part to question or cavil. (I could criticize the memecoins, but it's possible—probable!—we will all be shilling memecoins within five years.) Our heroines are also mismatched as types on this score: Anna is a true ideologue and moralist, Dasha an artist and ironist. Committed to truth and therefore able to lie, Anna said she hid her conservatism before, was only pretending to be a leftist, but now proclaims it openly; Dasha, on the other hand, is a chameleon poet, incapable of truth on that level, committed only to the higher or lower truth that is the emotional reality of time and place. She recently returned from the Caribbean saying "praise Jah," whereas Anna might have come back from the same trip with a distanced and acerbic political analysis. In that respect, Dasha is closer to the non-ideologue Trump, hence she said she voted for him but would not have voted for a generic Republican, whereas Anna said she would have voted for any Republican. Anna also recently conceded that truly winning against the left would be a disappointment because one would have to go back (I quote from memory) to "writing poems" and "going to parties," presumably non-ideological parties, since they do go to ideological ones, and non-ideological poems, too, since she could write political poetry if she pleased. (What's the MAGA version, I wonder, of "Fuck Your Lecture on Craft, My People Are Dying"? MAGA's resident poet laureate, Joseph Massey, tends to write apolitical religion-and-nature lyrics in the Imagist style, not any kind of right-wing Brechtian satire or invective—Brecht, who was himself inspired by the right, by Kipling. But I digress.) Despite this admission, their podcast, to retain vitality, should return to its cultural roots and deal with the politics inter alia. Why did they review the dire Nosferatu, for example, other than as an excuse for their customary discourse on sex and gender, and not the much more Red-Scare-coded Anora and The Brutalist, films about which I am sure they would have had surprising and expert things to say?

[dwimmerlaiks]

hello! good evening! my train was delayed and then I missed my connecting tram and while waiting for the latter I had one of those moments where I felt queasy just because I was so tired. then when I finally arrived at home I had some pistaccios and rosehip tea and went straight to bed. "pistaccios and rosehip tea" sounds so fancy now when in reality it was me standing at the kitchen counter working my way through the first snack I could find and the only thing that would count as a "fun beverage" I had available.

Pistaccios (the roasted, salted kind) are also so nice to snack on because of the haptics. it's like a little project, every single one. gourmet stim tools, maybe.

also, I am nearing the end of my train book (the book I read on the train). I've been reading to kill a mockingbird, I've never read it before. I think for many US-americans it's one of those standard high school reads, yeah? the type you feel some ambivalence towards maybe because you've spent some of your formative years overanalyizing it in a school setting? Or maybe not - I think that's what I heard. It wasn't for me, not being from the US, and the year I went to High School in Maine as an exchange we read Beowulf lol. Oh and!!! Macbeth. I haven't reread either since and don't remember much now. Beowulf was DENSE, for me, tough to read. That year though I was deep in my "russian literature" phase (this sounds ridiculous but to explain I was 17 and tragically in love with my friend, she talked a lot about the books she read.. which naturally became the books I read lol) and that's why I once held a 40 minute presentation about anna karenina in front of my highschool class which I would like to apologize for now to everyone involved. that was probably NOT EASY to have to experience. again, 17, gay, pretentious... my environment had to go through it. but you know, the books I read during that time were a real gift and opened worlds to me. so yay.

Maybe let's take a moment to be thankful to our 17 year old gay pretentious, obsessive selves for opening up worlds, whatever they might have been.

ok weird direction for this post to go in. anyway, trainbooks. I'm glad I read this one (to kill a mockingbird), it offered a lot to me. Next up is handmaid's tale which I also haven't read yet (obviously). am a bit anxious about it.

during summer I read dracula, finally. I'm a little sad I missed the first dracula daily run when everyone was reading it, I'm sure it was fun. but it was fun also to just read it by myself. I've watched and read sooo much vampire media and literature and then to read this finally was... so odd. I kept thinking, wow, actually - this is much more scooby doo in genre. It's like ... much closer to buffy the vampire slayer than like, nosferatu (the new one) lol. anyway that's what stood out to me, just some twenty-somethings forming connections and experiencing life and solving crime!! the vampire bits was just set dressing. (I know that's a simplification but that's the vibe I got and what I enjoyed the most! also why nosferatu (new) was such a let down for me personally. ergh). also van helsing was so. annoying. sorry but can anyone back me up? I started sighing out loud when he started talking hahha. like pleeeease can you hurry up. can you keep it a little shorter. the point, can you get to it!

oh this post is so long now, again. I can't believe I just told van helsing to zip it. I go on and on just like he does!

ok good night! I'm going to doodle and watch youtube and fall asleep.

[ingravinoveritas]

I’m excited for the renewal of GO3 but I’m also kind of a little worried for David because he’s been performing McBeth for 6 six weeks now and rehearsals are also killer and now their set to film GO? Just thinking about this exhausts me so I can’t imagine how he would feel (and Michael also for that matter since he’s been rehearsing for his own show). Also, please please PLEASE don’t let GT and AL be in GO PLEASE

Hear, hear, and three cheers to the renewal of GO 3!

All I can say is, it's about damn time we finally got this announcement. I am ineffably thrilled as well to know that we will have our boys back together in Scotland to bring us the resolution to Aziraphale and Crowley's story.

In terms of filming, I did see the press release that said GO 3 filming would begin "soon," but I think "soon" is a relative term here. David's run in Macbeth goes until early February, and then Michael is in Nye at the National Theatre from the end of February until May 11th. So "soon" likely means a good six months from now at the earliest (i.e., mid 2024). Hopefully that means both David and Michael will have time to rest up and prepare for the start of filming GO 3, but I would imagine them both feeling a sense of excitement and anxiety at their forthcoming schedules.

What I think Michael and David likely do not feel anxiety about, however, is the prospect of getting to spend more time with each other. And we know they are already seeing each other at least somewhat regularly right now, what with Michael being in London at the moment, so it stands to reason that Michael and David are going to be frequent fixtures in each other's lives and worlds for a very good portion of the next year. Lovely.

In terms of Georgia and Anna possibly being in S3, I will echo what @thereallovebug previously excellently said, which is that it is very tiring to think that we haven't even had the GO 3 announcement for a day, and already people are calling for them to be cast in the show, and it's just...can we not even fully process/absorb this news before jumping to yelling at Neil to cast people? Or maybe just skip the "yelling at Neil to cast people" part completely? I'm just confused as to why there has to be an immediate call to have them in the show when there may not even be a place for them in it.

I also keep thinking of the discussion that took place when the news about GO 2 first came out, which was that having any family member of Michael's or David's would be distracting, and we saw what ended up happening with Peter Davison and Ty. I thought Peter did very well as Job, but Ty just seemed out of place the entire time and it was like you could "see" him acting instead of just...being, and as a result, his performance did not quite gel with the rest of the scene.

The takeaway point here is that the role of Ennon could have gone to any number of aspiring young actors, talented actors looking for a shot at the big time, but who did not get to have that opportunity due to nepotism. It only makes sense, then, that the same would hold true for GT and AL. And to me, it's disrespectful to the show, to Neil, and to Michael and David at this point to act as if GO 3 is somehow "not good enough" unless GT and AL are in it. As if the thousands of other talented actors in the UK aren't good enough simply because they're not Georgia and Anna. I've been accused on multiple occasions of only disliking Georgia and AL because of who their partners are, but the fact that so many people are only fans of theirs for the same reason is apparently not a problem.

(I will not go into detail here about the myriad of reasons why people are fans of Georgia and AL's because of who their partners are, but I suggest reading this post from @artificial-indulgence, who has perfectly enumerated my own thoughts on the subject.)

It is for the reasons that are mentioned in the post I just linked to that I feel many fans are unwilling to see the reality of things, which is that Georgia is a passable actor, but Anna is not, and any halfway decent casting director is not going to overlook that. I'm thinking back to an Ask I answered yesterday about her being edited out of the photo used for the I Talk Telly Awards and (more significantly) that no one actually seemed to notice that she was missing.

Given that, it's highly unlikely that someone whose performances are so unmemorable would be cast in the third installment of a major global TV show--at least purely based on merit. And knowing how important this third season is, how it's meant to resolve Aziraphale and Crowley's story and give us what Neil and Terry envisioned so many years ago, it would be truly unfortunate to see all of that overshadowed by other things.

But yes, today was very much a day filled with good news (and which I wholeheartedly appreciated, given that I am dealing with some difficult personal issues at the moment). More thoughts to come in a follow up post, so stay tuned...

[lover-of-mine]

Anna! Hi! Hello!

I literally just joined tumblr today to be able to anon ask you. I think I should be the anxiety anon (aa is for sure in honor of Capt. Dad Bobby Nash and not in bad taste) because even typing this makes me feel way too seen. Does this count as human interaction? Guys, is it gay social anxiety if you only have inside thoughts because the idea of having outside thoughts makes you unwell? I'm not shaking--no, check--I am totally shaking rn, which is making it hard to type. But, I feel like I have reached critical mass on my Buddie thoughts and I will explode if I can't share them.

It is probably very rude to bust through the wall of your house like the Kool-Aid Man, so I want to say that I love your voice--your characterization and dialogue, particularly how you use humor in your fics is just *chef's kiss* for me. I have read them all but can't anon comment. I love your color theory and costume meta, too. Your takes are so measured and thoughtful and honestly just logical in a time where 9-1-1blr feels kinda sorta unmoored in reality. Fuck Twitter, your spy network tag is now my news feed because fandom reading comprehension and critical thinking scores have plummeted recently. Lou Who knows why?

Some things that are making me laugh/cry/cry-laugh rn:

The cockfighting ring call in Bobby Begins Again (2x16). Let's talk about closet space, bro: he-who-must-not-be-named canonically full-body flinched at literal cock coming at him. Somehow this is his gayest canon moment to me even though he has 2 canon full-on face assault man-on-man kisses.

The bridge call finale in Season 6, which I haven't watched in a minute, so I welcome fact-checking. I can't recall if it happens at the end of Love Is in the Air (6x17) as a cliff-hanger or if it is in Pay It Forward (6x18) proper, but right before the truck hits the bridge and triggers the collapse, Bobby is on the medical call on the bridge and he verbally instructs "K*nnard" to do something. The extra, presumably 1 of the old man retired firefighters they use to fill-out the 118 ranks, is wearing the "K*nnard" turnouts that nobody needed since 2x16's very accurate "Fairwell T*mmy. The 217's Loss is Our Gain" cake. So, how's that for invisible string debunker costume meta. As of 6x18: K*nnard was literally just an unused turnout coat on a hook in the costume dept. "Who cares?!?" is the 118 and 9-1-1's motto, fr. Like, nobody remembers gaf that he's a pilot, too, in an episode where Lucy flies off in the air ambulance, never to be seen again. Is "becoming a pilot" 9-1-1's way of telling your kid the dog "went to the farm" when you really had it put down while they were at school?

My change.org petition is for Buck and Eddie to have OS and RG's tattoos. I know makeup has been covering them up for years, but it has been bothering me so much since the ABC switch. It's like they're using the same tone of cover-up for RG and OS and it reads so yellow-orange that I consider it color theory outlier. Like, real talk, what do yellow-orange arms mean for the data, Anna? Tattoo-having people are known to get more tattoos. This is normal. RG and OS have so many more tattoos now than in Season 2 that Season 7 and 8 Buck and Eddie look like they have skin conditions that stop at their watch-straps and somehow in Season 8 RG is getting forehead-only orange foundation? Listen, I consider myself fandom-standard unhinged, not completely deranged, but like the full body Ken-doll spray tan on OS in Masks (8x05) has pushed me over the edge.

My Ted Talk is titled "Hey, ABC: Buddie = Fiscal Responsibility" because, wtf, just stop paying superfluous guest actors to be love interests and let the 2 mains shack up like God T*m M*near intended. (I lowkey think that smart cookie JLH is a girlboss genius who tied herself to KC, yeah yeah because of chemistry, Madney forever, of course, but also as job security when she said that Chimney was what she wanted for Maddie.) Seriously, let's reallocate the bullshit love interest slush fund money and bring the kid home. I hardcore head canon that Ravi saw Gerrard from the buffet line at the medal ceremony and just noped the fuck out of there indefinitely.

I'm just gonna leave this all here and back away because I've maxed out on all the human/social interaction accepted fandom love language of hyperbolic ranting that I can partake in before I turn into a full-blown thunderstorm chihuahua.

Can someone please Uber me a clown car home?

My love, hi. This was so fucking great to read ksoskaoakoakaoaa I'm literally on the floor laughing. Thank you for the compliments on the fics and metas. When someone says they like my characterization, I ascend to a better plane of existence. Honestly, the cock fight calls is really something else kspskapakoaa and they just didn't bother checking if they had written someone off before using the turnout because they needed more people there I guess.

The tattoos one had me howling tho, the cover-up of Ryan's hand tattoo this season has been AWFUL and the fact that they just wax Oliver all over to cover him in orange foundation drives me nuts, like please, just let them have the tattoos. (I was actually informed that they would need to license the tattoo from the artist for every use of it depending on the tattoos they decide to keep and that's probably why don't let them keep them, but if we are not letting them keep them, please color match better).

Honestly, they just need to get together already, please end this madness, it's been long enough, let Ryan be paid to make out with Oliver like he's been wanting all along kspskspakaokapa

Anyway, I'm obsessed with you, thank you for this one 🫶🫶

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

The cost is set to go far beyond human suffering, yet almost five years into the pandemic, not only are there still no treatments for long Covid, there aren’t even any diagnostic tools – and we don’t seem overly interested in finding them.

The jig is up. People are catching on that “mild” Covid-19 may not be so mild, and that the mysterious lingering symptoms they’ve experienced after catching the virus, such as fatigue and brain fog, may just be connected. For others, this will be the first time that they put two and two together. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but strap in for what comes next.

Recently, RNZ ran a piece outlining the estimated $2bn per year economic cost of long Covid in New Zealand and signalling that further research would be needed to determine a more precise figure. The average reader would assume that this research is under way or has at least been planned and funded. Human suffering aside, such a hit to productivity would surely raise alarm bells across the political spectrum!

I say this solemnly: yeah… nah.

Almost five years into the pandemic, not only are there still no treatments for long Covid, there also aren’t even any diagnostic tools – and we don’t seem overly interested in finding them.

At present, a long Covid diagnosis relies on a patient finding a doctor with up-to-date knowledge, who will believe their symptoms, and who will spend time investigating further to rule out other possibilities. This mythical trifecta is out of reach for most people, particularly women, who are affected by immune conditions at far higher rates, but have their symptoms written off as hysteria; and Māori and Pasifika, who face barriers to healthcare, and have their symptoms written off as laziness. Obtaining accurate data on prevalence under these circumstances is simply impossible.

In this way, and several others, long Covid mirrors ME/CFS (myalgic encephalomyelitis), a brutally debilitating biophysical condition, though the oft misused term “chronic fatigue” doesn’t quite convey that. Around half of long Covid sufferers meet the criteria for ME/CFS, which by the World Health Organization’s scale has a worse disease burden than HIV/Aids, multiple sclerosis (MS), and many forms of cancer. But again, there are no treatments.

I suffer from ME/CFS myself. My illness predates Covid-19 and came on after an infection with cytomegalovirus (CMV). I went from a fit and active young man to debilitatingly sick and fatigued, with several unexplained symptoms.

Pre-pandemic there was estimated to be more than 25,000 people in New Zealand suffering from ME/CFS, and only one specialist in the country, working one day a week, who has since retired (well earned, bless her). For years I had been praying for any sort of diagnosis, even if it was bad, so that I could get on the path to recovery. I got the diagnosis – but for a disease with no path to recovery.

As the pandemic unfolded, patients and advocates in the ME/CFS community warned that a tsunami of disability was approaching. They were of course ignored, as they have been for decades, and are now joined by masses of long Covid sufferers facing the reality that the medical profession has no answers for them, except perhaps euthanasia.

Frustrated with my lack of options, I connected with cellular immunologist Dr Anna Brooks, who had become a leading expert on long Covid, so I assumed that her biomedical research would be well supported. Alas, she detailed the uphill grind that it’s been to gain traction compared to other countries, and that generous donations, usually from patients themselves, had been the driving force of funding.

Together we founded DysImmune Research Aotearoa, with the goal of developing diagnostic tools leading to treatment for post-viral illnesses like long Covid and ME/CFS. In layman’s terms, we collect blood samples, analyse differences in cells, and put together an immune profile. My priority is ensuring that Māori and Pasifika patients and researchers are at the table and taking action into our own hands.

We’ve made a small start, and we have some incredible collaborations lined up, with far-reaching implications for community health. We’re in the process of seeking partnerships to take things forward. The expertise exists, it’s here in New Zealand. Still, the barrier to progress across the research space is the urgency for resourcing. It is dire to say the least.

Without some long-term project certainty, it’s difficult to pull the necessary teams together. While study after study illuminates more horrifying long-term effects of Covid infections, and prevention has been completely abandoned, research and development for treatments for long Covid is tanking. The private sector is at the whim of the quarterly financial report, and with no guaranteed short-term profit in treating us, it has very little incentive to take the risk.

So, barring some philanthropic miracle, only government can fill this gap. Yet where Australia had set aside A$50m specifically for long Covid research, and the US Senate considers a billion-dollar long Covid “moonshot” bill, New Zealand has allocated nothing. We’re fast asleep at the wheel. No other country can determine how many of our people are impacted by post-viral illnesses. No other country can address our specific needs.

Since this government is focused on ambition, productivity and fast-tracking, I assume they’d want to be world leaders in research, warp-speed some projects, and get long Covid sufferers back into work, no? This is what we are calling for. Not surveys. Not “talk” therapy and positive thinking. Biomedical research.

Put the money down and commit to this. Seize this opportunity to right decades of neglect. There are tens of thousands of us fighting for our lives, and millions more around the world. You think it won’t be you, then after your next inevitable Covid-19 reinfection, it is, and you’re left to wonder why nobody stepped up.

Government, iwi and whānau ora groups, health organisations, philanthropists – reach out. Let’s work.

Rohan Botica (Te Ātihaunui-a-Pāpārangi, Ngāti Tūwharetoa) is a lived-experience researcher and co-founder of DysImmune Research Aotearoa.

[the-merry-thieves]

TLH Couples as Taylor Swift Songs

Because I wanted to connect two things I love :)

Cordelia & James: "You’re Losing Me" (throughout CoG and CoI) and "Lover" (end of CoT)

You're Losing Me: Cordelia had to pretend that she was fine and didn't love James for so long, and thought she needed to endure it alone. She gave James her "best mes", "endless empathy", until she couldn't anymore. Seeing James embrace Grace at the end of CoI was the final straw after years of slowly "losing" her because of Grace's spell

Then I threw in Lover because after all the emotional turmoil they've been through, they deserve a cute little love song now that they're finally happily married for real

Cordelia & Matthew: "Wonderland"

This song just captures the mood of their lil spontaneous Paris getaway - trying to escape reality by throwing themselves into the wonderland of Paris (also, Cheshire cat smile and green eyes; come on, this song was made for our favorite charming, tortured-soul green-eyed boy)

Thomas & Alastair: "Begin Again"

This song is Thomas giving Alastair everything that Charles could never, and helping Alastair see that he is worthy of love and deserves the world (someone please give me more Thomastair x Taylor Swift suggestions, I could definitely do better but I can't think of more rn)

Lucie & Jesse: "Enchanted"

Every time I hear this song I think of the scene where Jesse tells Lucie to command him to dance, and then they dance together, and "the night was hushed, enchanted". One of my favorite Ghostwriter (do people use this ship name) scenes. Truly only the very first page; Lucie was determined to see him (*alive*) again...

Grace & Christopher: "Mine"

Because Grace & Christopher deserved to live in happiness together and we can just pretend the last 200 pages of CoT never happened! I think of this song as their story that *could* have been. It represents how Kit brought out the best in Grace and forgave her past wrongs, and how Grace didn't think she could have true romantic feelings for anyone ("wondering why we bothered with love") until she met Kit

Anna & Ari: "Untouchable" and "I Can See You"

I imagine Untouchable as Ari talking about Anna and how she's this emotionally guarded, beautiful but unattainable figure; in CoI she describes Anna as "hard and bright as a diamond. Untouchable" & "like starlight... it seemed warm and radiant and near, but was in truth uncountable miles away". I think this song depicts how Ari sees Anna so perfectly

As for I Can See You, the sensual, clandestine romance in this song is so Anna & Ari. There's just something inherently sapphic about a secret love

(Bonus?) Tatiana & Rupert: "right where you left me"

No explanation needed for this one...

---------------------------------------------------

Give me all of your favorite Shadowhunters-inspired music suggestions!

The blue text is quotes from the songs and the purple text is quotes from the books, if anyone cares

[lordhavemercyyyyy]

I WROTE THIS IN THE 7TH GRADE SO ENJOY MY CRINGE

IT'S SCP BASED, SCP 3001, I WAS OBSESSED OKAY?!?!?!?

Dr. Robert Scranton and his wife, Dr. Anna Lang, the site directors for SCP Foundation site 120, the main containment and research site for anomalous objects and entities with reality-bending abilities, not only made the Scranton Stabilizer, but have also created a prototype for the Lang-Scranton Stabilizer (LSS). During a test in the site’s Reality Lab, major seismic activity rocked the site to its core. While nobody noticed at the time, a hole opened in the control panel which Dr. Scranton was operating, dragging Dr. Scranton and the control panel into what is now known as SCP-3001. The researchers at site 120 believed that Dr. Scranton died quickly without any pain at all. But, they couldn’t be sure.

SCP-3001 is reported to be an alternate universe which presents as a pitch-black space, with not a single bit of light or life at all. No food, no water, nothing. This is what Dr. Scranton endured for 5 years, 11 months, and 21 days. 2 years in, however, Dr. Scranton made a certain discovery, the only reason we have a record of what lies within SCP-3001 to this day.

2 years. For 2 years, Dr. Scranton walked through the darkness. He couldn’t stop and eat; there was no food or water there. He couldn’t die, either; this seemed normal, in a way. After all, this was another world, the kind of thing Dr. Scranton studied for a living, at a job he shared with his wife. His wife. Anna. He almost forgot her name. Things have been slipping from his memory lately. His thoughts trailed off as he walked through the darkness, walking slowly towards the blinking red light.

Wait. Light? There isn’t anything that can emit light here. There shouldn’t be.

The light grew closer. The control panel! Soon, that very control panel became an anchor for Dr. Scranton. 3 more years flew by. In that time, Dr. Scranton had managed to decipher why this place was the way it is. The hume level was so very, very low. The hume level of an object reflects on how real it is, at least, in our understanding of reality according to how our plane of existence operates. Time passed, and as it did, Dr. Scranton could feel himself slowly fading away. He started repeating certain crucial facts. Name? Robert Scranton. Favorite color? Blue. Wife? Anna. This would go on and on. One day, he started to feel… strange. He looked down at himself and saw his own cells being pulled apart and becoming one with the darkness surrounding him. Pulling away more, and more, and more, until all that was left was a couple organs, a blood-stained control panel, and one gold ring.

Around 15 years later, there in the very lab this all started in, as Dr. Anna Lang stood in that lab, the control panel suddenly returned to that lab, to our plane. Dr. Lang stared at the control panel, horrified. She saw the organs, the blood, and the ring. Suddenly, she knew. They were wrong about her husband’s death. Robert didn’t die quickly like they all thought. He must have suffered so, so much. Anna picked up the ring, the last shred of the man she loved. She kept it in her pocket when she went to work each day for a while. After some time, she put it on a necklace and wore that necklace wherever she went. Anna never forgot him. She never could. She soon stayed in her office later and later into the night. Her coworkers would joke that she might as well start sleeping on site, since that was the only thing she went home to do. She would often become quite upset at these comments, and those who remarked about such things soon ceased to do so.

Dr. Lang was working late that night, as usual. She was sitting there at her desk, focused on the papers in front of her, illuminated by the incandescent lightbulb in her lamp. She looked up sharply. She heard something. Footsteps. Probably someone on security passing by. But then again, these footsteps weren’t like a guard’s. They were lighter, and a guard’s heavy boots couldn’t make such little noise. Dr. Lang stood from her chair to investigate the sound. As she walked, she heard another sound, something she didn’t recognize, coming from behind her. She turned to look, immediately seeing the kidney sitting atop her papers. She could tell, even without touching it, that if she did, it would still be warm. She heard another sound, a slow dripping noise from the same direction she heard the footsteps coming from. Turning around once again, Dr. Lang saw the black ooze dripping from the ceiling. Drip, drip, drip. She quickly ran out of the room and down the hallway, calling for help. She turned a corner and saw one of the mobile task force officers down the hallway she was running into. Dr. Lang recognized him. Frank! He could help her! She called out to him, and he turned quickly. He saw the fear on her face and soon reached for his gun.

Drip, drip, drip. Black ooze once again began dripping from the ceiling, but this time, it wasn’t just ooze that came from the ceiling. This time, an old man dropped down from the ooze. Frank began shooting at him, but the man soon grabbed him and dragged him down into a puddle of the same ooze that was on the ceiling, now on the floor. Dr. Lang ran away from that spot as fast as she could. She got quite far, but she tired herself out. She stopped running and took a moment to rest. But rest is a valuable privilege that SCP foundation staff are deprived of. The old man appeared beside Dr. Lang. She tried to run, but the old man grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him.

“Anna.”

Dr. Lang froze. He knew her name. She turned and looked at his face. Now that she was really looking, she slowly began to recognize him. “Robert…?” The old man smiled, and soon Anna returned that familiar smile she knew was her husband’s. She hugged him, ignoring the fact that her arm was slowly turning into the same black ooze that Robert could now create. Anna no longer cared. She was happy. Her husband was back, and she felt that if she died there, in that hallway, she would die happy. The ooze continued to spread, and Dr. Anna Lang was no more. She became part of the ooze, and she would remain by her husband’s side… forever.

[kaspenhoward]

A Day In The Queens Home When Anne Is In Hyper fixation Mode:

The Queens minus Anne: [Peaking through the doorway to the living room]

Kat whispering as to not disturb Anne: Has she even moved this whole time?

Anna: Not unless it’s to flip a page, pick up the next book, shift around, or go to the bathroom.

Jane: Has she even ate or drank any water? She’s just been reading books about languages for hours. By the time she’s done she’ll know of the history of every language in the world.

Catalina slightly loud: Out of all the forsaken things the lady can even obsess over, it’s the history of languages that she’s interested in??

Everyone minus Catalina and Anne: Shhhhh!!!

Catalina quieter: Alright! Alright! I get it, I’ll be quiet.

Cathy: Should we be more concerned about the fact that Anne literally is so engrossed with such an arbitrary subject that she won’t even move from her spot on the couch and has devoured three books in less than the span of 48 hours?!

Jane concerned: She didn’t sleep last night??

Cathy: No. She went upstairs and pretended to sleep for a few minutes so Catalina would go through her nightly check of all our rooms, see that everyone was asleep, and then would go to sleep when she knowing everyone was safe and accounted for. Anne then went back to her place on the couch and read through the entirety of night where we found her reading this morning up to now.

Kat: Should we.. try to snap her out of it? She really should get some sleep. And drink and eat something.

Jane: I don’t know. She might be going through something and avoiding it, she does seem to be enjoying herself though.. Cathy?

Cathy: I read about something like this on the internet. It’s called “hyper fixation” and is a symptom of the mental illness called “Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder”, which could actually explain plenty of Anne’s behaviors and difference in personality since reincarnation. When some is “hyper fixating” the person for a period of time obsesses on a person, activity, object, concept, story, or topic, when this occurs the person usually ignores everyone and everything around them. “Tuning out” reality. Of course they can provide their attention to reality around them when they unfocus but will continue to consistently think and talk about it. I think this is what’s going on with Anne. It isn’t really as bad as it seems though, as long as the person maintains a connection with reality, makes sure to care for oneself, and practices grounding techniques they’ll be fine.

All the queens minus Anne and Cathy: . . .

Anna: Babes. I hope you know we didn’t understand half of what you said. But does this thing, that you just explained, the reason why Anne is so scarily smart?

Cathy: No exactly but it does encourage her thirst for knowledge.

Kat: Doesn’t answer my question, what are we gonna do about this? [Gestures to Anne, sitting on the couch intensely reading a book about the history of the Norwegian language]

Cathy: Just because I know what’s going on doesn’t mean I know what to do!

Catalina: Can’t we just get her some food and water and put some sleeping drugs in it?

Jane: No Catalina. We’re not drugging Anne! But the food and water suggestion is probably the better idea. Maybe Kat can coax her into sleeping?

Kat: I may have legendary cuddles but it is impossible to coax Anne into sleeping.

Anna: Just give it a shot, maybe her exhaustion will catch up to her!

The Queens minus Anne and Kat: [Look at Kat expectingly with pleading eyes]

Kat:

Kat: [Sigh] I love my cousin, but why am I the one always sent to the do the dirty work?

The other queens: We love you Kat!

Kat: Yeah.. Yeah.. Sure, just go get the stuff for Anne-

Anne pauses, closes her book, and stares at all of them with bloodshot eyes: . . .

The Other Queens, Frozen: . . .

Anne: . . .

Jane: Did you-

Anne: Yes I heard everything you guys are uncharacteristically loud and I can’t tune out noise no matter how quiet it is. I read like this in my past life just like in this one. Yes someone please get me something to eat and drink my head is pounding, and yes I’ll gladly take some Kat cuddles. I should be mad at you all for suggesting drugging me and discussing of me like this but I am worse for wear enough that I’ll accept the help.

The Queens Minus Anne: [Let out a collective sigh of relief]

Catalina: I’ll just take- [Reaches for Anne’s book]

Anne: Hands off my book. Lina, My acceptance for help does not equate to stealing my property!

The Other Queens: [Muffled giggles]

Catalina: Yup. Should have seen that one coming. Ever the queen you still are.

Anne: Once a Queen always a Queen. We’re all Queens here. I must thank you all for worrying about me, now if that’s over, I was promised some cuddles?

[dtmsrpfcringe]

So I came across this post on my dash and I would love to hear your take on it: ❤️

https://www.tumblr.com/irvinis/751566583397285888/angelsadvocate96-thank-you-for-this-detailed?source=share

In my opinion the art is beautiful and hurts no one, I don't believe it deserved that reply on twitter. What bothers me is the comments and theories. What is crazy to me is calling anyone who doesn't believe Michael and David are dating a homophobic. Also the whole "Michael never called Anna his wife" yeah because they're partners, not married. They've dated women as far as we know all their lives. Again, they also quote all the sexual comments Michael and David make to eachother as proof that they're dating.

There's also a very amusing comment that I must highlight: "They deliberately cropped a photo to just include David and Georgia, and ignored the "Michael is my work wife" quote by david in order to fit their narrative that Dt and Gt are in love."

I found it funny because they do the same. They ignore the many posts with their children looking happy, the videos with anna and georgia looking in love, doing stuff together, the quotes of them praising anna and georgia in interviews, talking about how much they love them and their kids, and only focus on the comments/pics/videos of Michael and David talking about each other 😂 why can't both loves coexist?? Why can't they be in a loving poly relationship? Why can't they be in love with their partners and just have a close friendship with one another? No, the only option they entertain in their brains is "gay couple/affair"? And we're the ones who are homophobic and close minded? So before they met they were doing what for years and years? Pretending to be in love and having kids "just cause"? 3 of the kids were born after they met on go if I'm not mistaken so how does that fit the timeline? 😂 I'm not gonna get into having sex just for making babies cause next thing we know we are demanding celebrities to make sex tapes each time they do it to prove it to us \0_0/

(When I say "us" I'm not talking about the person in the tweet, but the fandom in general whom they usually call antis or Georgia and Anna fans lmao)

I'm not saying them being in a romantic relationship with each other is impossible. As a bi woman, i never assume anyone's sexuality. But when you have female partners, and fall for a male, that's called being bi! I'm sorry everyone but these men are not gay as in homosexual! They can very much be bisexual and believe me, if they one day came out I would be the first person to say: they were right, we were wrong!

But please, don't be someone who simply denies bisexuality to exist. Anyone of any gender can be bi and be in a monogamous relationship, a poly relationship, with both men and women. It doesn't invalidate or make the other relationship less than!

My opinions aside, their sexuality is none of our business. Sure, I know fans like to speculate and I understand it, but we can't simply choose one option and claim it as reality above all else and brush off the other ones. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors so it's really dumb to claim we do based off of the little we see on tv/social media! - and yes I am including my view as well! By the little I see, they can be 2 happy straight couples, a poly quadruple (sorry if that's not the term), a bi couple (ignoring the ladies), but what they 100% are is 4 friends who love eachother and seen to be quite happy. And I'm very happy about that too.

I'm sorry for the long rant I've been awake for 2 days and am a zombie

sorry if this seems like it doesn't make sense I just woke up....

lmaoooo sorry I read this post and then had to read it again. Let me say this right fucking now: ITS NOT HOMOPHOBIC TO RESPECT BOUNDARIES THESE GODDAMN PEOPLE ARE GONNA KILL ME!!!!!

Also you're so right. There are a multitude of reasons the photo could have been cropped as well. When you post specifically about a couple you probably want the photo to be...well...about that couple. It's not that hard to figure out. There's a really funny thing here, where they say they're trying to make David and Georgia seem in love. There's no seem. They are in love here. I hate it when people pull this shit because what in the hell do you mean seem?! Things could be different if they were shit talking (joking doesn't count, bc if we wanna bring up jokes David and Michael have made about each other then we can, I'll be overjoyed.) or getting a divorce, but every indication they have they just completely made up.

The homophobia thing. I am bisexual. Nova, when she helped me run this was a gnc lesbian. Respecting the boundaries of complete strangers does NOT make you a fucking homophobe.