#AND THEN HIS NEXT FULL ALBUM IS COMING LATE SUMMER

[wnightingales]

just found out about hozier’s new ep that’s coming out march 17th

so sorry to all my wrestling mutuals for the person and blog i will become on march 17th

[tip-top-cloud-surfer]

Stay Away from the Altar - Hangman

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin / Wife!Reader; Seresin Daughter!OC (Rose) / Bradshaw Son!OC (Nick)

Word Count: 4.4k

This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only.

Warnings: (Over)protective Dad!Hangman; Angst; Fighting; Rebellious Teenagers; Tense Father-Daughter Relationship; Teenagers Dating; Crying; References to Threats; References to Previous or Hypothetical Pregnancy Scares

Summary: Jake isn't ready to accept that his daughter is growing up. And he's definitely not ready to accept that his daughter seems to have fallen for Rooster's spawn.

A.N. You could read this as a sequel to my Left at the Altar series, since I used the name that I gave Hangman and Reader's daughter in that fic for this fic. But it's not 1000% necessary to read the series to understand this story.

And I meant to post this as part of Father’s Day, but let’s just ignore the fact that it’s a day late.

Master List

Admiral Jake “Hangman” Seresin was a very accomplished man. He was the youngest man to reach the admiralty since Tom “Iceman” Kazansky and was currently the Air Boss of NAS Miramar. He had his beautiful wife and absolute love of his life still by his side with their twenty-year marriage anniversary just around the corner. And three beautiful children to brag about to the world.

Everything was going near perfectly in Jake Seresin’s life. And then his eldest daughter Rose suddenly snapped from his little princess and into a defiant teenager about to flee to a college on the other side of the country. And sure, Rose had mentioned going across the country for college before, but Jake was more than a little suspicious.

Why, you may ask? Because Washington DC was awfully close to Annapolis, Maryland. The Naval Academy. The Naval Academy that one little fucker was attending next year.

Nicholas Peter Bradshaw.

Rooster’s spawn was messing with Rose’s head and Jake was not going to stand for it.

Jake didn’t always have suspicions about Nick. He was a decently good kid. For Rooster’s kid, anyways. He was somewhat smart—not as smart as Rose, but he wasn’t dumb as rocks—and he didn’t cause too much trouble. And because of the handful of months between Nick and Rose, they were practically raised side-by-side, which was great until they hit their teenage years.

Because then Nick started to linger.

Spending so much time around Rose. Going to all of her games and all of her events, even if he had his own to worry about. Coming over to ‘study’ and to do ‘homework’ together frequently. Offering to give Rose and her siblings rides to school events or the beach. Always offering to help her and Jake’s wife too with anything to try and impress them.

Yeah, Jake had seen that game played before. He had played it himself back in the day. Successfully. Very successfully. He had the wedding ring, three full wedding albums, three kids, and nineteen and a half years of marriage to prove it. He knew all of the steps and all of the tricks to successfully convince a woman outside of his league to fall in love with him.

And, so, when Nick offered to take Rose for a ‘scenic’ drive in the Bronco, Jake put his foot down.

“What do you mean I can’t go?” Rose complained, glaring up at her dad. “It’s summer!”

“Exactly, so why don’t you go spend some time with your siblings? Or your other friends? Before you go all the way to the East Coast!”

“My other friends that just happen to be girls?” Rose emphasized, a scowl twinging at her lips.

“Yes,” Jake replied, causing Rose’s scowl to deepen.

“Why are you being so weird? Nick has driven me around all over the place!”

“You’re not going for a ride in that stupid bucket of bolts with him, Rose. And that’s final.”

“What is going on now?” Jake’s wife called tiredly, walking into the room.

“Dad won’t let me go for a drive with Nick,” Rose quickly explained, walking over to her mom.

“In the Bronco,” Jake emphasized, causing his wife to sigh.

Rubbing her face tiredly, Jake’s wife picked her head up and glanced between her eldest daughter and her husband. She knew exactly what Jake was concerned about, particularly with his emphasis on the Bronco. Taking a moment to come to a decision, Jake’s wife turned to Rose.

“You can go out with Nick in the Bronco, but be back by dark, okay?”

“But—” Jake started to protest.

“—Thanks, Mom!”

Rose hurried up to her room to change and to probably text Nick to come and pick her up while Jake stared at his wife with clear betrayal. In response, his wife shot him a knowing look and folded her arms over her chest.

“Jake, you’re overreacting,” his wife stated, causing Jake to gape at her.

“Do you want our daughter running around in the Bronco?” Jake hissed quietly, walking over to his wife. “Do you know what could happen to her there?”

“I’m sure that they’ll wear their seatbelts, Jake.”

“Babe, do you remember what we did when I took you for a ride in my truck? A nice slow ride on a summer night?” Jake asked, causing his wife to sigh again.

“Jake, they’re just friends.”

“That’s what we told your parents. Six months later, we were going at it like rabbits naked as the days we were born in the back of my pickup truck!”

“Jacob! For the love of—”

“—Why can’t you see that we’re losing her?” Jake interjected, causing his wife to pause for a moment.

The annoyed expression on her face dropped and she instead simply stared at her husband with a softer expression. Taking a step towards her husband. Rubbing his arm supportively, Jake’s wife reached out and grabbed his hand to give it a squeeze.

“We’re not losing her, Jake.”

“We are losing her,” Jake insisted, his voice coming out small. “She’s moving so far away in only a couple of months and she’ll barely have time to come home. She’s spent most of the last two years barely home between all of her activities and her friends. And I’m so proud of her, but she’s . . .”

“Growing up?” Jake’s wife suggested with a small smile. “Jake, she’s eighteen now. She’s not a little baby anymore.” Cupping Jake’s cheek with her hand, Jake’s wife offered him a small supportive smile. "She’s growing into her own person. And she’s your daughter so she’s stubborn as hell and won’t listen to anyone else while she does it. Least of all us.”

“But she’s going so far.”

“You’re in DC every other month,” Jake’s wife pointed out, rubbing his back. “And she has a phone. She’ll call us. She’s not leaving and never comin back, Jake.”

“She might if he gets involved,” Jake muttered under his breath, causing Jake’s wife to shoot him a look.

“Jake, they’re just friends. And even if they’re not, he’s a perfectly nice boy.”

“But, a Bradshaw? Really? She can do better than that.”

“I’m sure that Rooster would say the same if the situation was reversed,” Jake’s wife replied, shaking her head lightly. “But do not push Rose away by trying to come between her and Nick. The more that you make it seem like she’s rebelling, the more that she’s going to want to do it.”

“But I know exactly what the little twerp has planned!” Jake insisted, causing his wife to sigh.

“First of all, that little twerp is now taller than you. Second of all, Rose is a smart girl with a good head on her shoulders. She can take care of herself. Especially after all of those years of self-defense classes that you put her in.”

“She could kick his ass in three seconds,” Jake agreed, causing his wife to laugh.

“So, stop worrying about him. Just focus on spending time with your daughter, Jake. Okay?”

Pressing a soft kiss to Jake’s lips, she gave his hand a squeeze before walking off to continue on with her day. Jake stood there for a moment, thinking over his wife’s words, before the doorbell rang. Hearing Rose upstairs start to hurry, Jake quickly made his way to the door.

Nicholas Peter Bradshaw seemed a little surprised to see Jake standing at the door and subconsciously straightened up a bit more. Jake’s wife wasn’t lying—Nick was taller than Jake by a few inches, but he was like a little puppy in Jake’s eyes. And not just because Nick always wore a stupid lovesick smile on his face whenever Rose was around.  

“Hey, Uncle Hangman,” Nick greeted him politely, nodding to him.

“You should get in the habit of calling me Admiral Seresin, Cadet,” Jake replied calmly, causing Nick to subtly wince a bit.

“Yes, sir.”

Jake nodded curtly as Rose hurried down the stairs, dressed for the San Diego heat. Letting out a light growl, Rose darted around her dad, grabbed Nick by the arm, and started pulling him towards the Bronco that was parked in the driveway.

“Goodbye!” Rose called over her shoulder.

“Be careful!” Jake called after them. “And think before you do anything!”

“Goodbye!” Rose emphasized back at her dad.

~~~~~

After the Bronco ride, Jake was still on alert when it came to Nick Bradshaw. His wife told him to calm down each and every time, warning him that he was going to give Rose a ‘complex’ if he kept trying to police her life like that, but Jake could just feel it in his bones that he should not trust Nick Bradshaw around his eldest daughter.

And because his instincts were second to none, he was proven right.

Jake was just starting to drift off to sleep with his wife happily tucked into his side. It was a warm night in Miramar and the air conditioner was running full blast. The white noise helped to lull his wife to sleep but Jake had always been a light sleeper, so it took more for him to fall asleep. Jake rested his head on top of his wife’s when he swore that he heard a noise from outside.

Jake picked his head up with his eyes cracked open, suspicious. He was always on alert. His wife often told him that he took the role of protecter a bit too seriously, but Jake couldn’t give in even a little bit with that. For his own conscience.

Getting up from bed, careful to not wake his wife, Jake padded down the hall. Passing by his younger children’s rooms, Jake kept his ear tuned to try and hear the sound. He peeked out the window, trying to spot any sort of indication about what could have made the noise. Like the neighbor’s stupid dog. And when he heard the subtle squeak again, Jake’s eyes narrowed.

~~~~~

Rose Seresin, meanwhile, was trying to open her window. She tried greasing the sides of it during the day, but it still made that stupid squeak occasionally. Holding her breath and hoping that her dad, who she knew was a light sleeper, didn’t hear her, Rose opened the window and looked down to see Nick waiting for her below.

He smiled up at her and waved, causing Rose’s heart to flutter in her chest. It wasn’t exactly planned for her to fall in love with her childhood best friend. But, as her mom told her, sometimes the heart just wants what it wants. And hers wanted Nick Peter Bradshaw.

Blowing him a quick kiss, Rose grinned and slid one leg out of her window. Planting her sneaker clad foot on the roof, Rose carefully slipped out of her window and lowered it a bit more, just in case her parents check in on her during the next few hours. Climbing down the side, Rose prepared to kick off and drop onto the soft mulch below when a chill went down her spine.

“Rose Leslie Seresin, what do you think you’re doing?”

Startled, Rose’s grip on the ledge slipped and she fell a bit. And Nick, also startled and close to shitting his pants, tried to catch her, but he ended up just acting as padding for Rose’s fall. Jake, still dressed in his pajamas, hurried over to help his daughter.

“Are you alright?” Jake called, pulling Rose to her feet and leaving Nick on the ground. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” Rose sighed, brushing dirt off of her.

“Then why were you jumping out of your window?” Jake hissed, pointing up at the window to her bedroom. “In the middle of the night?”

Rose, who, all thing’s considered, was a bit of a golden child, froze in place, not really sure what to say. The evidence was right there, after all. And nothing that she could come up with would somehow make all of that go away.

“That’s what I thought,” Jake practically growled, before turning to look down at Nick. “What are you doing here, Cadet?”

“His name is Nick,” Rose stated, coming to Nick’s defense.

“And your ass is grounded,” Jake snapped back, causing Rose to shrink into herself. “I cannot believe that you would be so irresponsible, Rose! Running around with him in the middle of the night! Climbing out of your window! What the hell do you think that you were doing!?”

“Why the hell are you . . .” Jake’s wife called, stepping outside, before she spotted the situation at hand. Sighing, she took a deep breath before walking down to the scene. “Come inside. You’re going to wake up the neighbors.”

Once they were all inside, Jake’s wife told him to take a breath and to go and call Rooster to pick his son up. Rose sat on the couch, curled up on herself, looking like she wanted to burst into tears. Nick sat on the opposite side of the room, staring over at Rose, but unable to reach out to comfort her because then Jake might really bite his head off.

“Your parents will be here in ten minutes,” Jake grunted to Nick, who winced, before turning to Rose. “Do you have any explanation for this, young lady?”

“Jake,” Jake’s wife called to him softly, not wanting to see her daughter burst out into tears. “Give her a second to collect herself.”

Though he already had about a two-hour scold on the tip of his tongue, Jake bit it back. Mostly because he didn’t want to see his daughter burst out into tears either, even if he was livid about what he just saw outside.

He knew that he shouldn’t have trusted Nick Bradshaw.

Rooster and his wife showed up promptly, looking a bit concerned and harried. Rooster’s wife was completely embarrassed and practically grabbed Nick by the ear to drag him out of the Seresin household. With a quick apology to Jake and his wife, Rooster’s wife pulled her son outside and to the family car, leaving Rooster to drive the Bronco home.

But Rooster just had a few words to share with Hangman before he took his own leave.

“Go easy on her,” Rooster stated, causing Jake to scowl at him.

“As if I’ll take any sort of parenting advice from you, Rooster, after what your son just did.”

“Right, because you were a saint when you were a teenager. Never sneaking out or sneaking your now wife out in the middle of the night, right?” Rooster asked dryly, causing Hangman to narrow his eyes. “They’re eighteen, but they’re still kids. They make mistakes and they deserve a chance to learn from them. Don’t let your own fears fuck with her head. Cause it’ll take decades to undo that.”

Jake simply clenched his jaw in response, so Rooster saw himself out. Glaring down at the floor for a moment, Jake turned to see Rose burst off the couch and run upstairs to her room again. Jake’s wife walked behind her, trying to calm her down, but Rose kept going until she reached her room. Jake’s wife shot him a concerned look before hurrying up the stairs after her.

Jake stood where he was, hearing his wife lightly knock on the door and walk into Rose’s bedroom. Jake walked upstairs slowly after a few moments and quietly padded down the hall to Rose’s room. But he could hear his daughter crying before he even reached her door.

“Honey, it’s going to be alright,” Jake’s wife told her daughter, trying to comfort Rose.

“No, it’s not! Nick’s never going to want to see me again after this!”

“Rose, he probably wants to see your right now,” Jake’s wife assured Rose, probably squeezing her into her side.

“And Dad probably hates me!” Rose cried, causing Jake’s heart to shatter in his chest.

“Your father will never hate you, Rose,” Jake’s wife stated firmly, not giving her daughter a moment to doubt herself. “He’s just upset.”

“You didn’t see him, Mom. He hates me! And Nick’s probably going to break up with me now and . . .” Rose trailed off with just a couple of cries and gasps for air.

Lowering his head, Jake walked away from the door and back to his own bedroom.

~~~~~

A week had passed and Rose was completely avoiding Jake. If he walked into the room, she quickly left it or didn’t make eye contact. She spent most of the day up in her room, serving out the grounding that Jake and his wife agreed upon for sneaking out through her window. He wasn’t sure if she was in contact with Nick at all, but either way, he felt like he couldn’t ask.

And with only two weeks left until Rose headed out to the East Coast for college, Jake knew that he had to try make sure that his relationship with his daughter was salvaged before she left and probably never looked or came back.

Walking upstairs, Jake headed down the hall and knocked on the door to Rose’s room. She opened it a few moments later and her features instantly sunk a bit when she noticed it was him standing there. Lowering her head, Rose hid a bit more behind the door.

“What is it?”

“Let’s go for a drive.”

“Dad, I just—”

“—Please?” Jake interjected, causing Rose to glance up at him.

Ten minutes later, they were driving down the road, just the two of them, in Jake’s truck that they used for their beach days and family road trips. Rose was silent in the passenger seat, her gaze focused out the window and her entire body curled away from him. But Jake remained patient and focused on the road in front of him.

Pulling into the old diner that he used to take all of his kids to when they were small and his wife was either working or taking some ‘me’ time, Jake glanced over to catch Rose’s reaction. She frowned a bit and turned to look at him for the first time during their drive.

“Why are we here?”

“Well, it’s lunch time, isn’t it?”

They got out of the truck, with Rose being a bit reluctant, and headed inside the diner. They were quickly seated in a booth and Rose used the menu to put a barrier between her and her dad. Jake remained patient and smiled at the older waitress as she walked over to take their orders. Jake and Rose gave their orders before being left on their own.

“Did you get everything that you need before you go?” Jake asked Rose softly, who shrugged her shoulders in response.

“Most of it. We’ll just pick it up when we get there. That’s what Mom said to do.”

“Are you packed then?”

“Somewhat,” Rose replied, keeping her voice quiet.

“Are you excited?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Jake folded his arms underneath him and let out a sigh when Rose kept her responses short and her gaze lowered and away from his own. She fiddled with the paper wrap holding the utensils together, doing anything to fill the time and avoid having to talk to him.

“Rosie? Can you look at me?”

Rose glanced up at her dad, sinking a bit in her seat. Jake straightened up a bit, his expression serious and concerned, but his voice remained low and calm.

“I don’t hate you, Rosie. I could never hate you. You’re my daughter. My baby girl. And no matter what you do, I’ll never hate you, okay?”

“I know,” she replied quietly.

“Why didn’t you tell me and your mom about Nick?” Jake asked softly and not accusatorily.

“Because I knew that you would freak out,” Rose explained quietly. “And I really like him, so I didn’t want to scare him away or mess anything up between our families.”

“And he treats you well? Makes you happy?”

“Yeah,” Rose stated, nodding confidently. “He does.”

“Did he ever make you feel uncomfortable? Or pressure you into doing something that you didn’t want to do but he did?”

“No. The whole window situation was my idea,” Rose replied, causing Jake to sigh.

“About that—”

“—Dad, I don’t want to talk about it,” Rose interjected, lowering her head again.

“Rosie,” Jake began, though she kept her gaze away from him, “I know that you really like Nick. But I don’t want you to . . . build your life around him. You’re only eighteen. You have your whole life in front of you. Both of you do.”

“I know. I’m not saying that we’re getting married,” Rose insisted, picking her head up a bit defensively.

“And that makes me very happy to hear,” Jake replied, causing Rose to sigh. “But I just don’t want you to get into a situation that you’ll regret down the line. I did a lot of stupid stuff when I was your age and I was lucky that in the end everything worked its way out.”

“I know. Grandma told me,” Rose stated, causing Jake to wince.

“All of it?”

“Just the bit about Grandpa threatening to shoot you when they thought you knocked up Mom,” Rose explained, reaching for her drink.

“Yeah, I remember that conversation,” Jake sighed, rubbing his face. “And I don’t want you to ever be put in that position, Rosie.”

“Dad, I’m not stupid.”

“Are you calling your mom and I stupid then?” Jake countered, causing Rose to press her lips together.

“I’m not going to answer because I don’t want to be grounded again.”

“Good choice,” Jake stated, sitting up a bit straighter. “The point is, I remember what it was like to be a teenager and everything that goes along with it. And I made a lot of mistakes with your mom back then and even later and I wanted to protect you from all of that. But,” Jake emphasized, causing Rose to raise an eyebrow, “you’re going off to college soon and I need to accept that you’re growing up.”

“I’ve been growing up for a while, Dad,” Rose replied softly, shifting in her seat.

“I know, but I was in denial because it’s scary how fast you grew up. And you’ve accomplished more than I ever thought possible,” Jake continued, causing Rose to nod slowly. “Hell, you’re ten times better off than I was at your age and you get most of it from your mom, that’s for sure, and I’m so proud of you and I know that you’ll do even better at college and . . .”

Jake trailed off for a moment, taken back to a different day, about fourteen years ago, when Rose sat across from him at a booth in this dinner. She was missing about three teeth in her smile and her hair was pulled back away from her face. And she had a ketchup stain in her dress afterwards that his wife was not happy about, but made Rose giggle when he was getting scolded about it.

“Dad?” Rose called, bringing Jake back to the present.

Blinking a bit rapidly, Jake stared over at his daughter, who seemingly grew into a young woman overnight. She wasn’t a baby anymore. She didn’t need him or her mom like she needed them before. And she was ready to spread her wings and fly high, like they always knew she could.

“I don’t love the idea of you dating . . . but if Nick treats you right . . .”

“He does.”

“And he makes you happy . . .” Jake continued.

“He does,” Rose repeated, nodding curtly.

“Then you don’t have to hide your relationship from us anymore.” Rose noticeably perked up, but Jake was quick to add his paternal disclaimer. “But that doesn’t mean you two get to just do whatever you want. No excessive PDA and don’t ever think about climbing out of your window like that again. You’ll break your neck and then I’ll break him for not catching you.”

“Dad.”

“And if he gets you into any of the situations that your grandmother described to you about me and your mom back in the day—”

“—We won’t!”

“But if you do, I’m still an admiral. And if Nick wants to stay in the Navy, he better understand that I’m not afraid to call in some favors to serve him the consequences of his actions.”

“You mean Uncle Coyote?”

“I’ll call in a lot of favors,” Jake vowed, tapping his finger on the table threateningly, though Rose cracked a small smile in return.

~~~~~

The old Dagger Squad members who lived out and around southern California gathered during the last few days of summer to wish Nick and Rose good luck before they both headed out to the East Coast to start the next chapters of their young lives. Separate chapters or at the very least adjacent chapters in Jake’s mind.

Jake glanced over at where Rose and Nick were playing cornhole with a couple of the other Dagger kids when he felt arms wrap around his waist. His wife pressed a kiss to his back, between his shoulder blades, and rested her head against him.

“You made it right?”

“Mostly,” Jake replied, causing his wife to smile.

“I knew that you could,” Jake’s wife returned, walking around to his front.

“I still don’t like it. Or him,” Jake insisted as his wife cupped his cheek.

“But?” Jake’s wife suggested, rubbing his cheek with her thumb.

Jake sighed, turning away from his wife for a moment, before reluctantly turning back to face her. She arched her brow, like she knew exactly what he was going to say in response.

“But he makes her . . . somewhat happy.”

“I’m surprised that you survived that sentence,” Jake’s wife replied, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his lips that Jake returned happily.

“Barely.”

Wrapping an arm around his wife, like they were the teenagers, Jake glanced over at cornhole to see Nick with his arm wrapped around Rose’s waist.

“Don’t get too comfortable over there, Cadet!”

“Dad!”

“Jake!”

[dailytomlinson]

Faith In The Future Tour (Behind The Scenes) for IQ

Full interview with Matt Vines, tour promoters, agents and more people involved in the making of the tour under the cut:

Usually, when an act completes a world tour they come off the road for an extended period to rest, record new material, and then typically two or three years later the wheels are set in motion for an album release, promo, and tour dates. Louis Tomlinson did not get that memo. His first solo tour ran late due to the pandemic restrictions, meaning that by the time it concluded in September 2022, his second album, Faith In The Future, was scheduled to drop and tickets for the associated tour were ready to go on sale. 

“This tour went on sale last October or November ‒ basically a year in advance,” explains agent Holly Rowland, who represents Tomlinson, alongside Alex Hardee, internationally, while Wasserman Music colleagues Marty Diamond and Ash Mowry-Lewis do likewise for North America.

Despite that quick turnaround between tours, Rowland reports that ticket sales for the current tour are going very well indeed. “The first leg went through Scandinavia before doing the Baltics and Eastern Europe ‒ Romania, Bulgaria, and Greece ‒ places that most people, especially arena-level acts, don’t really go. And the second leg, which is more mainland Europe, started on 2 October.”

The tour is big. Very big for just a second outing in his own name.

Between May and July this year, Tomlinson played 39 dates in the US and Canada across a mix of amphitheaters, arenas, pavilions, and stadiums. In August, he returned to Europe, where he is currently in the midst of another 39 dates in arenas across the continent and the UK, which will take him to 18 November. Then, in early 2024, the Faith In The Future tour goes to Australia for two outdoor dates in Melbourne and Brisbane, before he takes the show to the country’s biggest indoor venue, the Qudos Bank Arena in Sydney. 

And, as IQ went to press, Tomlinson released dates for a return to Latin America in May 2024 for a mix of indoor and outdoor shows, including stadia, across Mexico, Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Costa Rica, Panama, Paraguay, Puerto Rico, and Uruguay. 

“We’re going to Australia and part of Asia early next year,” states artist manager Matt Vines of London-based Seven 7 Management. “We then go into Latin America in May and June. And then we’ll handpick a selection of festivals next summer, before we draw the line on the campaign at the end of the summer.”

Rowland comments, “The tour before obviously was Covid tour where the date had to be chopped and changed. The positive aspect of that was that we were able to upgrade venues where that made sense. But it was really nice to start from scratch on this tour to make sure the routing was all going in the right direction.” She reports, “We’ve done nearly 16,000 tickets in Amsterdam, and 14,000 in Paris, which I think just underlines his credibility as an artist and his growing reputation among fans.”

Playing a major role in shifting that ticketing inventory is a network of promoters also enjoying Tomlinson’s rising star.

“On this tour, it’s mainly Live Nation ‒ we use a lot of the One Direction promoter,” explains Rowland. “But for Greece, we used Honeycomb Live, Charmenko did Romania, 8 Days A Week promoted the three shows in the Baltics, All Things Live did Finland, Fource are doing Prague, it’s Gadget in Switzerland, Atelier in Luxembourg, and when we get to the UK, it’s SJM, and MCD in Ireland.”

With a total of 39 European dates, Rowland split the outing into separate legs, scheduling a  break after Scandinavia, the Balkans, Baltics and Athens, Greece and another after mainland Europe ending in Zurich, Switzerland. 

“It's a perfect ratio, if I do say so myself,” she laughs. “It was right to split it up ‒ 39 dates in a long, long tour, especially with the American tour throughout the summer being 11 weeks! We made sure to schedule days off, for everyone to recharge their batteries.”

In Spain, Nacho Córdoba at Live Nation promoted Tomlinson’s shows in Bilbao, Madrid, and Barcelona and reports sell-outs at each of the arenas involved. 

“When Louis was last here, it was three days before the pandemic shut everything down in Spain. In fact, I think he played the final show before the market closed because of Covid,” says Córdoba. 

“Last year, Louis organised his Away From Home festival in Fuengirola, and that also sold out, so we know he has a big following in Spain, and we also know that Spanish fans are super loyal. So, on this tour we sold out 7,000 tickets at Bilbao Arena Miribilla, 13,600 tickets at WiZink in Madrid, and 11,200 at Palau St Jordi in Barcelona.”

Already looking forward to Tomlinson “and his fantastic team” returning on the next tour, Córdoba believes it will be important to see what happens with the next album ‒ and Tomlinson’s expectations ‒ before making any plans.

“The most important thing is to keep the fans happy and keep the momentum building with Louis,” he states. “I am a big fan of the arenas, because the atmosphere at his shows was incredible. So, rather than look at going bigger, it might be a case of looking at other arenas in other markets. Whatever he does, we cannot wait to have Louis back in Spain.”

Stefan Wyss at Gadget abc Entertainment in Switzerland promoted Tomlinson when he visited Zurich’s Hallenstadion on 23 October and explains that he previously played the city’s Halle 622 venue on the first tour.

Recalling that debut solo outing, Wyss tells IQ, “At first, we announced a mid-size theatre club show, 1,800-capacity, but it sold out instantly. Then we moved it to Halle 622, which it 3,500-cap, and that also sold out immediately, so it was a really big success.

“They’ve invested a lot in the production of this current tour, and it’s doing really strong numbers, so that’s why we decided to go to the arena this time around, where we set a mid-size capacity of 7,000, which is good for a small market like Switzerland, especially because he’s coming back just one year later and playing a much bigger show.”

Wyss adds, “He’s kept the ticket prices reasonable ‒ and he never wants to do any gold circle or VIP tickets. I think that’s why he’s so close to his fans, because it’s not about maximising profits. Another reason for his success is that in addition to attracting a mainstream audience, he’s also getting music lovers because he’s just a very good songwriter and has brilliant songs.”

Wyss also notes that with many young fans typically arriving the day before the concert, the responsibility to look after them is extended. “We set up toilets, we have security overnight, we give water away. It’s part of the organization that we will take care of the fans.”

Fresh from announcing 12 dates across Argentina, Brazil (x 3), Chile, Colombia, Costa Rica, Pery, Paraguay, Panama, Puerto Rico, and Uruguay, promoter Fabiano Lime de Queiroz at Move Concerts reports that Tomlinson will visit a mix of arenas, as well as stadiums in Santiago, São Paulo, and Buenos Aires during his May tour.

“Our first tour with Louis was supposed to be in 2020 and we’d booked half arenas everywhere ‒ 5,000-6,000 capacities,” he informs IQ. “Louis was one of those acts who connected very well with the fans during the pandemic, so when we shifted dates, first to 2021, and then to 2022, we ended up selling out and having to upgrade in certain metropolitan markets.”

“In Santiago, for instance, we’d sold out two full arenas of 13,000 cap, but then the government declared that for mass gatherings the numbers needed to be limited to 10,000 people.”

Rather than let fans down, Move added a third date, which again ended up selling out. “I remember being on a night plane from Miami, while Matt Vines was flying in from Dallas, and we were both using the aircraft wi-fi to negotiate via text for that third show,” says Queiroz. “It was an interesting way to confirm putting the third date on sale, just three days before the actual show!” 

He adds, “We’re taking a big bet on this tour when it comes to the number of cities and the capacities of the venues, but we’re hoping for the best and we’ve gone out strong. We feel that the artist is in a good moment and that the latest album has just created more interest, so we’re looking forward to when he arrives in May.”

Further north, Ocesa will prompte three dates in Mexico, including a stadium show at the F1 circuit, Autódromo Hermanos Rodríguez, deepening Tomlinson’s footprint in that crucial North America market. 

Meanwhile, in Tomlinson’s homeland, Jack Downling at SJM is promoting seven UK dates in November at arenas in Sheffield, Manchester, Glasgow, Brighton, Cardiff, London, and Birmingham, which will round out the European leg of the tour.

“SJM has done every show Louis has been involved with, including all the One Direction arena and stadium shows,” notes Dowling, adding that on the first tour, the London show was originally pencilled in as a Roundhouse, then two Roundhouse shows, before finally being upgraded to Wembley Arena.

“This time, The O2 arena show in London will be sold out, while all the others have passed the expectations of where we wanted to be on this tour. In fact, when the UK dates were announced, it ranked as the fourth most engaged tour on social media in SJM’s history ‒ his fans are just nuts.”

But Downling also reports that the fanbase for Tomlinson is expanding. “The demographics are pulling not just from pop but also from indie rock now.”

Downling adds, “Louis really looks after his fans. On the last tour they did a deal with Greggs {bakery chain} to give free food to the people waiting in line, as some of them camped out for days in advance.”

Ensuring his fans are looked after properly is the number-one priority in Tomlinson’s live career. 

Noting that Tomlinson’s audience comprises mainly young women and girls, Rowland reveals that, at the artists’s insistence, a safety team has been added to the tour to ensure everyone that attends his shows is looked after. “Thry manage all the safety within the shows for the fans,” she explains. “They came in for the Wembley show last year and have been with us ever since ‒ they’ve been beneficial to the running of the tour.”

“When he played in South America, some of his fans were camping outside for a month. So we have a responsibility to look after them. Coming to a show should be a safe space, it’s where they find joy, and we have a responsibility to protect that.”

Manager Vines comments, “One issue we came up against almost all last year was crushing and fans passing out. We adopted a system where we could communicate with fans, who could hold up a mobile phone with a flashing red-and-white sign if they were in trouble but then we’d see them all popping up.”

“I don’t know whether some of that was a hangover of the pandemic where fans just weren’t used to being in venues. But we experienced a number of situations where hydration and temperatures in venues became an issue. I know Billie Eilish went through similar issues.”

With Tomlinson determined to meet a duty of care towards his fans, Vines says that the team now sends a “considerable advance package” to promoters ahead of their tour dates. “Our safety team goes into venues in the morning and basically ensures that a number of different things are in place ‒ making sure that water is given to the fans, where the water comes from, and at what points in the show it happens.”

And on the crushing phenomena, he reports, “We’ve worked out how many fans it’s safe to have without a secondary barrier. So we instruct promoters to have certain barriers in place to relieve that pressure and avoid crushing.”

He adds, “I get detailed incident reports after each show, which lets myself and my management team know exactly what happened, and so far on this tour, we haven’t had any issues with crushing or hydration, which is fantastic.”

Production manager Craig Sherwood is impressed by the way the tour has pivoted to protect the ‘Louies’. “The welfare officers are vital for the young girls who are aged from, I guess, 14 upwards. They can get dehydrated and malnourished pretty quickly if they are camping out for days, so it’s important that we look out for their wellbeing,” says Sherwood.

Citing the extremes that the Louies will put themselves through in an effort to secure themselves prime positions at the front of the stage, Sherwood recalls, “The first show on our US tour was in February, and it was freezing, but we found out that girls had been camping out on the pavement for five days. It’s crazy, as we know these young girls are coming from all over the world to see Louis.”

However, Tomlinson’s connection with those fans is evident in the level of merchandise sales at each show. “It’s a huge part of our business,” says Vines. “In America, we averaged about $36 a head, and it’s not much shy of that in Europe ‒ we’ve set a few national records in terms of spend per head. But we spend a lot of time on merch plans, and we do venue-specific drops and give it a lot of care and attention, as it’s a really important element of Louis’ business.”

Making sure that the Faith In The Future tour delivers Tomlinson to his growing legion of fans, PM Sherwoord’s long association with artist manager Vines made him the obvious choice when the artist first began his solo career.

“I remember doing a lot of promo dates around the UK and US before we started touring properly,” says Sherwood of his work with Tomlinson. “In fact, one of the first shows I remember doing with Louis was in Madrid when he played in a stadium, and I could see it was a taste of things to come.”

The partnership between Sherwood and Vines is crucial.

“In terms of the show growing, our biggest challenge is keeping costs down, because we’re extremely cautious on ticket pricing,” says Vines. “We don’t do dynamic pricing, we don’t do platinium ticketing, we don’t do paid VIPs, we don’t increase ticket prices on aisle seats ‒ all those tricks that everyone does that most fans don’t know about: we don’t do any of those.”

“So, when it comes to the production side of things, we need to be incredibly careful. But I’ve been working with Craig for a decade, and he knows the importance of trying to keep costs as low as possible. For instance, we’ll run the show virtually a number of times so Louis can watch it with the show designer, Tom Taylor, make comments and tweak things. Then we’ll go into pre-production. But we try to do as much in virtual reality as possible before we take it into the physical world.”

Sherwood states, “Basically, we started out with two or three trucks, but now we’re up to nine, and things seem to be getting bigger day by day.”

Thankfully, Sherwood has amassed a vastly experienced crew over the years, allowing them to handle even the most unexpected scenarios. “I’ve been touring since the dawn of time, but the core crew I work with now have been together since about 2010, and I trust them implicitly, so I leave it up to them who they hire, as long as they think I’m going to like them, and they’ll get along with everyone. So far, it has worked well,” Sherwood reports.

And that veteran crew has dealt with some terrifying weather extremes on the current tour, including a show at Red Rocks in Colorado where the audience were subjected to a freak storm with golf ball-sized hailstones injuring dozens of people.

Elsewhere, the crew has had to act quickly when the threat of high winds in Nashville caused problems on that outdoor run. “We didn’t want the video screens blowing about above the heads of the band, so it must have been amusing for the audience to see us taking them down,” Sherwood reports.

Indoors in Europe, the environment has been more controllable. The production itself involves an A-stage set 180 degrees across the barricades, although Sherwood says that on occasion a catwalk is also used by the performers.

“It’s a great lighting show and fantastic for audio, as we have a phenomenal front-of-house sound engineer ‒ John Delf from Edge Studios ‒ who makes life very easy for the rest of us,” says Sherwood. He also namechecks Barrie Pitt (monitor engineer), Oli Crump (audio system designer), Tom Taylor (lighting designer), Sam Kenyon (lighting technical director), and Torin Arnold (stage manager), while he praises Solo-Tech for supplying the sound, and Colour Sound Experiment (CSE) for taking charge of lighting video, and rigging equipment.

Indeed, CSE has ten personnel out with the Faith In The Future tour. “We have eight screens on the road ‒ six on stage plus two IMAGS that we use wherever appropriate,” the company’s Haydn Cruickshank tells IQ.

“We need to tweak the rigging on a daily basis, as we move to different venues, but other than that it’s a fairly smooth process thanks to Craig Sherwood. He is old-school and planned and worked on the production very far in advance, which is a great scenario for all involved. Craig is definitely one of our favourite production managers to work with.”

Garry Lewis at bussing contractors Beat The Street is also a fan of PM Sherwood.

“Craig split the European tour into different runs. So, from Hamburg to Zurich, we had two super high-decker 12-berth buses for the tour party and two 16-berth double-deckers for the crew,” says Lewis. “After the show in Athens, we still have the two super high-deckers, as Louis loves them ‒ he prefers to spend time on the bus, rather than in hotels ‒ but we also have two 12-berth super high-deckers for the crew, as well as another crew 16-berth double-decker.”

Lewis continues, “We’ve worked with Craig for a good few years, and we have a great relationship with him. He plans everything way in advance, so it means it’s all very straightforward for us with no issues. So, we use single drivers for each bus, except on the longer runs or when our drivers are scheduled for prolonged breaks, and then we’ll fly in extra drivers as needed.”

With the production travelling to Australia in early 2024, before shifting to Latin America, Andy Lovell at Freight Minds is gearing up to become involved with Tomlinson once again.

“We did the Central and South America dates on the tour last year, and onto Mexico,” says Lovell. “It was very challenging back then as we were still coming back from Covid, and various systems and infrastructure were in pieces. But it all went well in the end, as we kept an eye on things and worked on it every day to make sure we had solutions to everything that was thrown our way.” 

Lovell continues, “Things on this tour kick in early next year for us. Historically, Australian services were quite reliable, as we could use any number of airlines. But post-pandemic, the number of long-haul flights still aren’t as frequent as they were. As a result, the production is being reverse engineered with the budget being worked out before we can see what we can afford to take as freight, and then we try to plan accordingly.”

“Similarly, in Central and South America there are still just a fraction of the flights operating, compared to pre-Covid, so that makes it very challenging. If there aren’t the flights to handle the gear, then you have to start looking at chartering aircraft, or alter your schedule, and that can become very expensive, very fast.”

With everyone working on the artist’s behalf to make sure the tour remains on track, being able to call on such experienced production experts is paying off on a daily basis.

Sherwood notes, “There are a few back-to-back shows over long distances that occasionally mean we don’t arrive at the next venue until 11am, rather than 6am. But we’ve never failed anywhere to open the doors on time, so we know we’re capable of getting things done, even if we have a late start at mid-day.”

Such dilemmas are not lost on agent Rowland. “It’s not so much the routing, it’s more like the timings, because Louis does have two support acts, so the show starts at 7 o’clock, and then when we’re done, we need to load out to get to the next show in good time for loading in the next morning and soundchecks, etc.”

Nonetheless, Sherwood admits that he loves the trickier venues and schedules. “Because I’m a dinosaur, I relish anything that makes things difficult or awkward for us on the production side of things,” he says. “I think everyone on the crew looks forward to challenges and finding the solutions to problems.”

Having amassed millions of fans through his association with One Direction, Tomlinson very much has a ‘pay it forward’ attitude to music and is building a reputation as a champion for emerging talent, wherever he performs. 

“He’s a great advocate for alternative music,” says manager Vines. “Louis realises that he’s in an incredibly privileged position in terms of what he can create in terms of awareness. He loves alternative music and indie music, and he understands how hard it is for that music to be heard. But we have this amazing platform where we can put these bands in front of these audiences as a showcase that allows them to build these authentic new audiences. It’s a hude part of his love of music, wanting to help younger bands.”

Rowland agrees. “He took an act called Andrew Cushin ‒ a very new artist ‒ on the road in America with him as his support, and he’s doing the same for Europe. Louis is a fan and is championing his career.”

Indeed, Tomlinson’s A&R skills have knock-on effects for his agent, too. “He asked me to confirm the Australian band Pacific Avenue as support for his Australian tour last year. The music was great and they didn’t have an agent, so now I’m representing them!” says Rowland.

As the European tour speeds toward its conclusion, agent Rowland is enjoying every minute of it.

“It’s incredible ‒ they’ve really stepped things up,” she says, fresh from seeing the show in Athens and Paris. “They’ve got 6 hanging LED screens on the stage, and the whole production just looks polished and professional.”

And Rowland is especially excited about next year’s Latin America dates, which will deliver her first stadium shows as an agent.

“The return to Latin America is going to be huge ‒ Louis is playing arenas and stadiums in South America and Mexico: 15 shows in 11 countries,” she says.

Vines is similarly enthused. Harking back to the Covid situation, when a show would go on sale, sell out, be postponed, and then rescheduled in a bigger venue, Vines says, “For example, in Chile, originally the show was scheduled at a 5,000-cap, half-capacity arena in Santiago. And what we ended up doing was three nights at 10,000-cap in that same venue.”

Vines contends that Tomlinson’s work ethic is outstanding. “He loves his fans, and he loves performing for them, it’s as simple as that,” he says. “He just loves being on the road and seeing how the songs connect live. In fact, the second album was very much written with the tour and live shows in mind ‒ ‘This song could work live,’ ‘This one will open the set,’ ‘This is the one we can do for the encore.’”

Another element to Tomlinson’s psyche has been his decision to visit places off the usual tour circuit. 

“Louis has a real desire to perform to fans in markets that are often overlooked,” says Rowland. 

Manager Vines explains that while the Covid-delayed first tour allowed them to upgrade venues pretty much everywhere, “On this tour, we’re a bit more competent on venue sizes, but we still speculate a little bit in different territories. In Europe, for example, we’ve gone into the Baltics and a number of different places to test the markets there, while in America, we are looking at A and B markets but also tertiary markets as well ‒ we go to places where people just don’t tour in America, just to see what the reaction is. That was something that very much interested Louis ‒ to play in front of people who don’t normally have gigs in their town. So there’s been a lot of experimentation on this tour in terms of where we go and what room to play.”

That concept is something that Vines has employed before. “I manage a band called Hurts who were pretty much overlooked by the British radio system and we have spent 15 years building a business outside of the UK. And that was built on going to play at those places where people didn’t normally go. They built to multiple arena level in Russia, for instance.”

“If you can build fanbases in lots of different places, you have festivals that you can play every summer, as well as youring those places. It allows you to have more consistency over a number of years, by having more opportunities.”

Such a strategy found a convert in Tomlinson. Vines tells IQ, “Louis also is extremely fan-focused in everything that he does. He comes at it from a perspective of ‘I want to take the show to them,’ meaning he’s always more willing to take the risky option to try something out.”

And the results? “It’s a combination,” concludes Vines. “There have been a couple of places where we now understand why tours don’t go there. But there are more places where it’s worked incredibly well. For example, we enjoyed incredibly good sales in Budapest. And overall, it’s allowing us to get a clearer idea, globally, of where the demand it, which will help us when we go into the next tour cycle.”

[grey-spark]

What if Daddy Longlegs is, in a way, a representation of Sunny's dad?

Sunny is a child, so it's normal he sees him as really tall.

His dad has a fedora. He almost never see him wearing it, but it doesn't mean he never wear it in Sunny's presence.

Kids often see their parents as beings of knowledge. Wich would explain why Daddy Longlegs knows the origin of Headspace.

And we only see visuals details of his dad in the familly picture. Beside that, he's always a shadowy silhouette.

What do you think?

That's a serious possibility. Take a look at this:

If you add a coat to the rack we see next to the front door, (like I did in this artistic depiction) it almost looks like Daddy LongLegs in the darkness. It make sense he'd be based on a coat rack since that's the object you use when you're preparing to leaving the house.

Now, whether he's Sunny's Dad is a different story. It makes sense on some level. It's his hat, and Sunny Dad left over the Truth, or rather Sunny's unwillingness to face the truth. So to have his dad be the voice leading him out would make sense. But there are some holes, like why is he in Pryfly Forest of all places? If his dad was as nice as LongLegs why would he abandon Sunny? There's also someone else competing to be Sunny's Dad. Okay, while we're on this topic we need to address Jawsum.

In the lost Library, it says that either Sunny or Hero's Dad was helping build the treehouse. But the way the sentence is structured it (annoyingly) doesn't really specify which. This is relevant because Last Resort is strongly associated with the construction of the treehouse. Which means, Jawsum is either based on Sunny's Dad or Hero's Dad. But I'm not sure which. There are good arguments for both sides. I'm genuinely split.

On one hand, Jawsum is a boisterous back slapper seen wearing cargo shorts just like Hero's Dad. He has a strong connection to Hero. Even seen in a picture with him, that could easily be based on a photo Sunny saw in Hero's house. Also, the Lost Library message leans towards it being Hero's Dad's truck since Hero's name was mentioned last.

On the other hand, Jawsum is based on the poker game and computer given to him by Sunny's Dad. And we also know his dad built all the shelves in Sunny's House; telling us he is a builder. Its also his backyard. And finally:

It all comes full circle. The hat his dad wears is right next to Jawsum's desk. That might be the smoking gun, but I'm not convinced either way. This leaves us in a messy place. Is Jawsum based on Sunny's Dad? Hero's dad? Both? If so, is his dad also Daddy LongLegs, who also wears a hat and also has "Daddy" in his name? Here is what I can say confidently...

Daddy LongLegs is likely based on a camp counselor from Sunny's trip to Summer Camp.

The Summer Camp is only mentioned ONCE in a one-off joke comment when Kel is threatening Angel:

But apparently, its a BIG DEAL to Sunny's subconscious. Not only does Daddy LongLegs look the part of a camp counselor. The rafting activity also reappears in Humphrey. Another area that represents Headspace in microcosm, and the only other character to reference the cycle of blissful ignorance.

Point being, Summer is a big deal in OMORI. Even the last photos taken in Basil's album are on the last day of Summer, September 22nd. Summer represents the good times they used to have. The head counselor and Daddy LongLegs can be considered the ruler of Summer Camp and by extension, the ruler of Summer itself. One who has a responsibility to bring activities to a close.

Welp. That does it for the Daddy LongLegs post. One of the more interesting characters who can teleport from Headspace and Black Space at will. I like to think he's Humphrey's archnemesis. He's also vaguely based on the Slender Man creepypasta, another artifact of 2014. Sorry for the late response, but hey, at least I got to post it on the 22nd.

[toomuchracket]

ok idk what universe or how the circumstances lead to this. but im having dad matty brainrot. maybe girlie is busy and matty has to watch the kids but hes meant to be getting a new tattoo (maybe hes supposed to go with the guys, which is why he cant cancel). but he has to bring the kiddos with him and while hes getting tattooed another artist or maybe even one of the guys doodles on kiddis arm so they can match their dad :(

fuck it, og dad!matty universe! it's the last couple of weeks of the summer holidays and you're mildly concerned about the fact your husband is planning on taking your 6 year old and 8 year old with him and the boys while they get new tattoos (maybe to celebrate an album anniversary or some shit), but when george comes to pick them up he reassures you like "it's fine! it's a nice day, we'll go into the shop one at a time, whoever's not in can just be at the park down the road with dyl and lena". a good idea in theory, and it works for a little bit while matty's playing football with his babies and giving them piggybacks and whatnot; when it's matty's turn to go in and get his tattoo, though, elena's (who's been a bit more shy and reserved lately - you think she might be a bit nervous to go back to school) little lip starts to wobble like she's going to cry, and she clings to his leg and will not let go even when adam's like "el! we'll go and get ice cream, yeah? your dad won't be long, you know that". matty has to crouch to her level like "i'll be twenty minutes, munchkin. four bluey episodes long. that's all! my big, brave girl, you'll be alright without me for that long, won't you?", and she shakes her little curly head quite vehemently - when the sniffles begin, matty just hugs her into him and softly shushes her like "alright, darling, you can come in with me. but you have to sit nice next to me, yeah? no running around in case you get hurt". so then obv dylan wants to come in, too, not because she's also upset but because she's curious about the tattoos "cos you and mum both have them but i don't know how you get them" lol; she drags ross in too, because that's bestie, and he sits with a kid on each knee and patiently explains to them what's going on while their dad gets another tattoo. the tattoo artists are really sweet - the guy doing matty's is like "oh! it's nice to finally meet the two of you, it was me who did the tattoos your mummy and daddy got when you were both born" (a.n. i have no idea what these look like actually), which impresses them a lot. but he doesn't impress them nearly as much as the other girl, who they say looks like a tattooed isabela madrigal (she laughs really hard at this and calls them adorable) and who lets them look through the sample book; they both pick out the ones they'll get when they're big enough (matty shakes his head at this, but he and ross giggle. how could they not?), and the girl gives them a couple of little temporary tattoo strips to "take home and get mum to help you put on. i think i would save them for parties, though" (matty thinks this is a genius suggestion, because he knows full well his daughters would have begged for them to be put on immediately otherwise lol). the doodling happens between dylan and elena themselves, i think - one of them gets hold of a pen and says "let me draw on you so you can match daddy?", and her sister is like "YEAH and then i can do it on you", while matty's half crying at how cute they are and half stressing about taking them home covered in pen lol. but yeah, the girls are good as gold, so good that their dad can't not treat them to an ice cream AND a tango ice blast to share afterwards, followed by another run around in the park to tire them out before it's time to go home and then pick up mummy from work. a lovely day <3

[ausetkmt]

With a soulful sound and a signature look ingrained in our communal grown-folks culture, Frankie Beverly is definitively linked with summer—then, now and forever. The music of Maze featuring Frankie Beverly is the soundtrack of warm dusks spent cruising local side streets, with the windows down and the speakers turned on high. Beverly’s voice conjures memories of late afternoons seated in a sunny corner of the extended family’s spacious backyard, eavesdropping on “grown-folks business” being discussed at the cooler while the aroma of an active grill fills the air. The group’s songs trigger ­muscle memory of the electric slide on freshly cut grass, Soul Train lines in the living room, and slow dances under the stars.

So it’s no surprise that the legendary performer is returning to the pinnacle of summer, the ESSENCE Festival of Culture, for our 30th anniversary. He will be receiving his flowers as a legacy entertainer and, for one last time, commanding the very stage he helped build from its inception.

“I haven’t been on the ESSENCE stage in a little while, but it feels good to be asked to come back,” Beverly says ahead of his final performance at our festival. The crooner and his iconic band closed out Sunday night during our inaugural music festival in 1995—and yearly for the next 14 years. Now, they will be honored on that same stage for all they’ve contributed to the culture. “When ESSENCE contacted us and wanted to honor me, I really couldn’t say no,” Beverly states. “We have a long and rich history. The ESSENCE Festival is a big part of my career.”

With a soulful sound and a signature look ingrained in our communal grown-folks culture, Frankie Beverly is definitively linked with summer—then, now and forever. The music of Maze featuring Frankie Beverly is the soundtrack of warm dusks spent cruising local side streets, with the windows down and the speakers turned on high. Beverly’s voice conjures memories of late afternoons seated in a sunny corner of the extended family’s spacious backyard, eavesdropping on “grown-folks business” being discussed at the cooler while the aroma of an active grill fills the air. The group’s songs trigger ­muscle memory of the electric slide on freshly cut grass, Soul Train lines in the living room, and slow dances under the stars.

So it’s no surprise that the legendary performer is returning to the pinnacle of summer, the ESSENCE Festival of Culture, for our 30th anniversary. He will be receiving his flowers as a legacy entertainer and, for one last time, commanding the very stage he helped build from its inception.

“I haven’t been on the ESSENCE stage in a little while, but it feels good to be asked to come back,” Beverly says ahead of his final performance at our festival. The crooner and his iconic band closed out Sunday night during our inaugural music festival in 1995—and yearly for the next 14 years. Now, they will be honored on that same stage for all they’ve contributed to the culture. “When ESSENCE contacted us and wanted to honor me, I really couldn’t say no,” Beverly states. “We have a long and rich history. The ESSENCE Festival is a big part of my career.”

That illustrious career, punctuated by nine Certified Gold albums and multiple entries on the R&B charts, has taken place on stages across the world. Frankie Beverly, front and center in his all-white linen, accompanied by the legendary Maze, has dazzled audiences on dozens of tours for more than five decades. Since 1970, Beverly has bared his “Raw Soul” onstage, with his distinct soulful vocals always accompanied by the live band. Their sound has shaped the very concept of soul, for the millennial generation and beyond. But Beverly’s journey as a performer began long before that.

“I grew up in church, and even as a child, I loved singing,” he says of his upbringing in Philadelphia. “My grandparents loved to hear me sing. It took hold, and I found myself wanting to sing all the time.” That desire led him to form his own doo-wop group, the Blenders, in his teenage years. He later pivoted to team with a band instead, the Butlers. A move to California, a rebrand to the name Raw Soul and a chance encounter led to the band opening for Marvin Gaye on tour. The group eventually altered its name to Maze, at Gaye’s astute suggestion.

There’s no way Frankie Beverly and Maze could have predicted, that first time he and his bandmates hit the stage, the decades of memorable moments they would create together. But Beverly always knew he was home when he was singing.

Since his earliest days as a recording artist, Beverly has created anthems that resonate. From 1977’s “Happy Feelin’s” to 1980’s “Joy and Pain” to perhaps his most enduring hit, 1981’s “Before I Let Go,” ­Beverly’s music has always captured the elation, disappointment and mixed emotions of love found and lost. Just as powerful now as it was in the ’70s, his music has remained a staple, and tickets to his shows have been coveted over the decades. “I think my music has maintained a consistency across generations because God blessed me to write my music from the heart and not what the latest trend was,” the singer reflects. “It stays current, no matter what generation.”

Funnily enough, there’s a phenomenon of people who, while they’ve been familiar with “Before I Let Go” as a certified cookout classic for their entire lives, have never really paused to listen to its lyrics. As crowds shuffle along through predetermined steps of line dance and raise their voices in unison with Beverly’s smooth baritone at key points, many have missed that it is actually an anthem about relationship closure; told from the perspective of a man wishing bittersweet goodbye to a woman he loves, mourning the relationship he still isn’t quite certain why they couldn’t make work. But if so few truly realize what the song is about, why do we all love it so much? 

“Because it’s real life!” Beverly answers. “Sometimes you’re just too young to get the lyrics, but the music [still] gets you on your feet to dance.”

Indeed, the sound of Frankie Beverly & Maze gets everyone on their feet—from the toddlers who just discovered their balance in recent months, to the elders whose legs have carried them across many a dance floor over decades of celebration.

“As I said before, I don’t waiver with my music,” Beverly says. “I can’t say so much why it appeals to all generations, but I believe God made a path for my music to reach each generation.”

Beverly’s music has weathered the emergence of new genres, the disappearance of hard-copy media and the move to streaming services, and it will surely endure through whatever the next phase of musical innovation proves to be. But the singer, now 77, has chosen 2024 as the year he bids farewell to live performing.

His exit from center stage marks the end of an era defined by our aunties, uncles and peers filing into stadiums and amphitheaters, decked in all-white linen to emulate Frankie Beverly and Maze’s signature performance look. They were ready to sip wine, link arms and belt out classics along with the titan of soul—and to, as his silken vocals command, “feel that happy feelin’.”

But, as Beverly assures us, this goodbye isn’t forever. Though he’ll no longer tour, the group will rebrand as Maze Honoring Frankie Beverly—and he says he may pop in from time to time, to stay connected to his bandmates and to the loyal fan base that he feels has faithfully showered him with love and blessings for 50-plus years.

“Music is who I am,” he explains. “I’ve never done anything else. Music is the love of my life. You don’t exit from love.”

[lorifragolina]

Sweet Pies

Last entry for Mungrove Summer Bingo 2023 prompt: A1 Carnival It has been a large ride, thanks for all!!

@mungrovebingos

Carnival

Eddie Munson collected the mail near the gate while he’s returning home with his car. He found a brown envelope and he ripped the paper, smiling silly when he took a magazine from it.

The naked truth said the main title on the cover of that number of Carnival, the music and lifestyle magazine, where was a full body photo of Eddie, with a cowboy hat, a leather harness around his naked, tattooed chest and his thumb tucked in the belt of some black skinny jeans, pushing then down showing his happy trail.

The allusive pictures were not the spicier thing in the article about him, his music and especially his private life.

Eddie scoffed and started the car again, finally approaching the entrance of his mansion.

Billy and Steve would literally go crazy about it.

Eddie entered the fancy hotel in Boston, followed by an ice cold wind blow. He shot a flirting look to the receptionist.

“I’m here for Nancy Wheeler from Carnival” and in a minute a woman in a red suit came from a table of the restaurant, extending a hand to him and driving to a private table. Eddie took off the scarf with the skulls he was wearing (a silly present from his boyfriends that time he caught an illness insisting to get out without a jacket, being very fussy during an entire week) and ordered a double coffee, then sat down to relax on the small sofa.

Nancy placed a little recorder between them and started with some light chat, then took a notebook from her purse and stared at a page with a pen, for a minute or two.

“Do you mind if I smoke?” asked Eddie. The journalist shook her head, they were in the smokers area of the restaurant. He took his zippo from the pocket, looking at the engraved orca on it for a moment. It was Billy’s lighter and he took it by mistake when he left home, causing a fuss that Steve could barely manage. The gold ring at his finger sparkled when he moved his hand close to his face.

“So you’re ready to start the interview?” Nancy asked, checking the recorder.

“For you I’m always ready” cooed Eddie, and Nancy had a little shiver, although she knew he wasn’t interested in her, he couldn’t resist for a second to flirt.

She cleared her throat.

“Ok, let’s start” She smiled. “So, you started your solo career this year and you already have a new album rising in the ranks…”

He moved into his new mansion in Montecito last September, just a month after the last Corroded Coffin concert. The house was quite good and he had just to set his studio in the basement and fix a little the garden. Billy and Steve kept their apartments in Malibu and Portland, but only technically, in fact they lived there with him. Steve moved to the little keeper’s outbuilding in the garden, to write quietly, and sometimes he played the security guard at the gate, a thing that literally turned Eddie feral.

He had already planned to release a solo album at some point and had most of the songs already written, so the album was easy to record. He planned a little USA tour for the winter and, despite all his effort, an Europe tour between spring and summer. He was adamant to have at least a month free next summer to go away with his boyfriends, and although they have busy summer plans too, they all were looking forward to going to Mykonos in July.

Surprisingly, the album was full of love songs and ballads, and was an instant success. His fandom immediately associated those songs to his relationship with Billy; he wrote some of them for Steve too, but they didn’t come out yet as a poly couple, but for the moment it was enough. Thanks to the news of the house, they didn’t go out a lot lately, and they were happy in this way.

“And what did you feel when your bandmates decided to temporarily retire from the live shows? Are you still on good terms? And do you think about coming back with them sooner or later? -

Eddie smiled and shook the ashes off the cig.

Gareth and Martha tied the knot in late September in his hometown in Indiana, from when Corroded Coffin started and they all ran away just when they could. The ceremony was sweet and intimate, Gareth's Irish catholic family wasn’t quite happy Martha showed her almost six month belly, but she was so pretty and sweet that nobody cared after a while.

Eddie attended with Billy and Steve, Gareth insisted on that, and Billy, as usual, passed almost all the ceremony whipping softly behind his sunglasses. They felt a little too cocky and didn’t pay enough attention to professional and amateur photographers and someone almost caught the three kissing together behind the trees.

After the dinner Eddie was frankly drunk, Steve and Billy never saw him at that point, despite the heroic quantity of alcohol he usually drank when he was happy. He also lit a few joints and they were wetting themselves from laughing.

Eddie was dancing with Gareth's great-grandma, a little old lady with a cane who was incredibly agile despite it.

“I’m a little horny” Eddie drunk-said to the lady, who luckily was a little deaf. Billy was dancing with Gareth's little niece and overheard the conversation, his belly hurting for the laughs.

“Ok Eddie, time to go” He took Eddie and tried to drag him out of the dance floor; he whispered what had just happened to Steve and he doubled up with laughter too.

“Come on Eddie, sit down here” and Billy sat down too to catch his breath.

“Once I took a schoolm… a school… a friend over there and we caug… we caught… we thought there were wolves…” Eddie kept munching nonsense for some time, while Steve was trying to give him water.

“You want to kill me, this shit kills,” Eddie kept saying, trying to catch the glass but missing it badly. “You hate me? Do you hate me?”

Billy was in tears. “Come on, Billy please, put yourself together, you’re always crying!” mocked Steve, provoking more laughs and more tears.

Finally, Eddie drank the water and stayed for a moment, regaining control a little . Suddenly, he becomes a little pensative.

“Ehi” he said out of nothing. “Want to go there” and he pointed far in front of him. He got up and started walking to the woods.

“Eddie, Eds, wait!” Billy tried to stop him, but Eddie took his hand and they followed him.

A minute walking from the hotel they came to the trailer park. Eddie told them about his childhood with Wayne in a trailer and, although he bought his uncle a fancy house, he kept the trailer and sometimes went to rest there.

Eddie knew where the spare key was and they entered, in silence.

“Here is where you used to live?”

Eddie nodded. He entered his old room that Wayne was keeping as when he lived there, just a little more tidy and clean. He sat in the bed.

“You know? I never had a fuck here”.

Billy looked to Steve and found the same sparkling glare in his eyes. He knelt at Eddie’s side, and Steve knelt at the other.

“No? Really?” said Billy. “Why?” he opened Eddie’s belt and Steve took off his shirt from his pants.

“I wasn’t out, and I ran away right after the graduation” he smiled remembering while the two took off his pants and underwear completely.

“And now?” asked Steve, jerking a little Eddie’s dick, hard and leaking already.

“And now I will fuck both of you here” he grinned, pushing Steve’s head on his legs.

Billy whined biting the pillow while Eddie spread his legs a bit more. He was on his stomach, naked, a leg bent and filled by his boyfriend so good and deep. Eddie was grabbing him by his waist and fucking him with a blissful face and eyes closed. Steve jerked himself near Billy’s face, then pushed his dick in his mouth. Billy moaned and looked at him with eyes full of tears while Steve stuffed all his length deep into his throat. Eddie extended to kiss Steve passionately and pushed faster into Billy.

“Fuck, yes Eddie, yes” cried Billy, grabbing the sheet on the verge of coming.

“No” said Eddie, coming out from him. He tilted his head to Steve and he took his site behind Billy.

“Do you want more, Billy?” whispered Eddie on Billy’s ear, kissing him deeply with his tongue in his hungry lips.

“Yes please, please” he whined, jacking himself off on the bed. Eddie kissed Steve again and tickled him on his spine, rubbing on his tailbone, then pushing his fingers on him, kneeling behind him spreading the leg, still hard and willing.

“Come on, sweet pie” he whispered to Steve. He lined his dick to Billy’s pulsing ring, wet for Eddie’s precum and well stretched. He entered with a single move and Billy arched and cried. Eddie pushed him against the bed again, then coated his dick in lube again and glided smoothly inside Steve. He didn’t lose the pace he’s keeping in Billy, but arched in turn and bit his own lips.

Billy started shaking under them both and his breath broke, he jerked himself faster and pushed his face on the pillow coming hard in his own hand.

Eddie trapped Steve between his loins and Billy’s ass and came inside Steve pulling so hard his hips that Steve screamed in pain. Eddie collapsed on the bed at Billy’s side and Steve kept a little inside him, after loading him with a growl.

“Fuck…” he whined come out from Billy, letting him leaking and trembling, still spreading on the bed.

Eddie hugged Billy and Steve leaned his head on Billy’s back.

“So we revenged young Eddie, right?” whispered Billy, smiling sweetly.

Eddie whined, and didn’t answer, just hugged his boyfriends a little more.

They collected their clothes from the floor. Eddie sat in the bed putting his pants on, but suddenly he stopped, staring at the void.

“Eddie? All right?”

Eddie sighed, biting his lips.

“I want to marry you” he whispered.

“What?”

“I want to marry you”

Billy laughed. “We already have the rings, Eddie, don’t you remember?”

Eddie shook his head. “Yes, but I want to marry you, for real, I want a wedding, I want a party, I want everyone to cheer for the husbands, I want to have a ceremony with you…”

“Oh, Eddie…” Billy knelt to hug him. “I love you too” he kissed his forehead.

Steve hugged them both. “I wish I could marry you for real too… I love you”.

Nancy scribbled some notes about what Eddie told her about the solo album and his relationship with Gareth, then took a sip from her cup and looked at Eddie smiling.

“I know we agreed on the topics of this interview with your staff, but what about some more personal questions? Our readers are very avid about some particulars, obviously, if you want. If you’re more comfortable, I can turn off the recorder”.

Eddie nodded. “I can talk with you about everything” he flirted again, batting a little his eyelashes, and Nancy turned off the recorder with a little shiver.

“Well, you came out some years ago already. What about your recent flirt with Billy Hargrove, the supermodel?”

“It is not a flirt” said Eddie smiling, without harm in his voice.

Nancy blushed a little. “And what about this summer’s pictures in Mykonos? You know, Billy presumed cheating with Steve Harrington, who was working with you on his series soundtrack? It’s all good with your boyfriend now, or…”

Eddie scoffed, leaning back on the sofa with a smile. “I don’t know anything about Billy cheating” he said, without adding more explanation. “We’re doing very well and we are doing good together, and I work very well with Steve, of course. But he’s not my boyfriend anymore” Eddie waited for Nancy's reaction, and he didn't have to wait.

“What? Are you breaking up…” she sighed, really surprised.

Eddie giggled and raised his left hand. “If you promise to keep the secret, he will be my husband soon. And… ” Eddie blinked at Nancy. The recorder was turned off, but she scribbled in her notebook.

“Oh, come on, put a price tag on me and sell me already!” Eddie protested, shaking under Billy’s hands.

“Eddie, for Christ’s sake, stay still, stop wiggle”.

Eddie grunted again, snorting and looking in the mirror.

“Please, I feel all compressed, you know I don’t like it!”

“Stay straight and stop complaining. It’s Steve's big night, so shut up” Billy tied strong Eddie’s tie trying not to strangle him.

“If it’s Steve’s big night, why are you dressing me like that?”

Billy scoffed and pouted. “Because I know elegance. Now stop fussing!”.

Obviously, Eddie didn’t stop. “Why can’t I simply dress like at Gareth's wedding? I was elegant”.

“Look, leather pants and a vest were right, but I said you have to be classic for the gala. Last word” Billy dusted Eddie’s shoulders. He looked at himself in the mirror and barely recognized himself, he had a dark gray three piece tailed tight, a silver tie, cufflinks and coordinated leather shoes and belt. He felt like a puppet and he was really uncomfortable. Billy wore a similar suit, a little clearer, that really matched his colors, and seemed like he was wearing his pajamas.

“Now the hair” said Billy, and Eddie screamed.

They finally came to the gala and came out to the limo and walked to the red carpet.

It was the presentation gala of the new series The man who invented electricity based on Steve’s books, and Corroded Coffin did the soundtrack.

Eddie took Billy’s hand during the walk, waving at fans and posing for the photos, smiling and feeling like a scarecrow, furthermore, Billy won about his hair and now he had a messy bun that squeezed all his head. But he was quite happy, Billy was really beautiful at his side and didn’t let him go, grabbing his waist from time to time. They passed the photocall at the entrance and they gave the reporters a sweet kiss to talk about, and after a little interview they could enter and wait for the show.

Steve was already there, as principal guest, they were excited for their boyfriend’s big night.

Gareth was already in with a really pregnant Martha, they went away after the first part of the gala; Eddie was in charge for a little talk on behalf of Corroded Coffin and that reminded him of the Gelato gala at the beginning of the summer. He was so full of love at that moment, two beautiful pairs of eyes were chained to his’, and he fiddled with the silver ring.

When all the talking was done and the real gala started, Eddie and Billy sneaked out of the party and got into an empty room, where they drank from the classic Billy’s flask and started kissing. Eddie finally got rid of his stupid jacket and rubbed on Billy, who was really turned on by the alcohol and the glamour.

The door opened again and they froze.

“You better close the door,” said Steve, closing the lock.

“We’re waiting for you, sweet pie” smiled Billy.

“It’s your day” echoed Eddie, opening his arms for Steve.

They kissed their star of the day. He started touching Billy’s crotch, but he moved his hands.

“Oh no, sweetie, it’s your day” he repeated, and opened Steve’s belt. Eddie knelt in front of him, and Billy followed.

Steve licked his lips and grabbed both heads under him.

Eddie called for Steve and Billy from the entrance. They were watching the sport in the living room. Eddie waved at them, and they really didn’t pay attention to him. He showed the magazine to them from the door and then threw it to them on the sofa, and went on the stairs, waiting.

“Eddie!!” cried Billy with a feral crazy voice.

He ran upstairs. Steve came out the living room running behind him, and Billy followed him immediately, squealing.

“Eddie!! Where is that harness? Eddie!! Come here!”

They threw themselves on him in their room, falling in their big big bed; the TV kept talking alone in the living room, reflecting on the silver frame of a photo on the fireplace; they were together, in Tulum, with a big green arc of plant and white flowers, all dressed with white shirts and linen trousers, barefoot and a silly bouquet for each.

That day, only a few weeks after, they had a little private ceremony, although symbolic, and they exchanged their silver rings with three old fashioned yellow gold wedding rings.

They were husbands now, each other and forever.

[eahtheramblings]

An unedited chapter from the fic i keep procrastinating

Dorms, Besties, and Destiny's Oh My!

The first day that students spend at Ever After High is dedicated to getting rooms set up, clubs started, and schedules handed out. There are three main areas that are crowded during this time. The first is the dorm halls. These usually get the busiest during the early afternoon while families help students set up their dorm rooms. The next is the Grimmnasium, which is where clubs will set up tables and attempt to get new members, usually with candy and posters made by their most artistic members. This will be full during the later afternoon, as students finish their dorm decorating and their lunches will head to check out the latest clubs and see friends. Finally, the last crowded area is the Castleteria. This is where both dorm keys and schedules are handed out, and is busy during the entirety of the day, as it will often be open for its above purposes in the morning, change into an eating area for lunch, turn back to a welcoming area in the afternoon for late comers and those whose kingdoms are far, and then back to its intended use for dinner. It is this crowded room that Apple found herself in. 

At the very front of the Castleteria was a table sitting the four advisors. Madam Baba Yaga who advises the villains, Mrs. Her Majesty, The White Queen, who advised the damsels, Dr. King Charming, who advised future heroes, and Coach Gingerbreadman, who advised practically everyone else. On the right of the table the royal advisors sat, while the other two sat on the left. Four lines lead to the table because of this. In the very middle of the group was the Headmaster, Milton Grimm. Headmaster Grimm looked like an aging man, although it was a well known fact that he was possibly the oldest person alive in ever after. He took turns welcoming students from all lines and helping answer questions from students and parents. Apple thought it was royally fairest that the Headmaster took the time to introduce himself to all the students despite his busy schedule. On Apple's list of rulers to look to for inspiration, Headmaster Grimm tied for first place with her parents. 

“Oh dear, and here I meant to come early to miss the line!” a clear voice spoke behind Apple. She turned around to see another friend of hers Ashlynn Ella, the daughter of Cinderella. Ashlynn was a tan girl, with strawberry blond hair and a smattering of freckles. 

“Ashe!” Apple exclaimed, pulling her into a hug. “How was your woodland conservation camp? It was so hard not being able to text you all summer, but I know you were really excited to go help with the animals in the enchanted forest.” 

“It was wonderful, we planted so many new trees and cleaned up forest paths, I even got to help a baby unicorn find its mother after they were separated! But it is good to be back at school with you guys.” Ashlynn answered, pulling up photos on her phone to show Apple while they waited in line. They discussed their summers until a high pitched voice carried across the room. 

“Hello Ever After High, and welcome back to the first episode of Just Right! For the school year. I’m your host Blondie Lockes and today we’re going to get the scoop on the second year students hexcitement for legacy year! Why don’t we start over here with you, Sparrow Hood?” 

Blondie bounced up to the line for Coach gingerbread, floating like a bubble of golden curls and periwinkle fabric. Sparrow and his merry men were lazily waiting in line, leaning on tables, chairs, and each other while they waited for their schedules. Blondie's question seemed to peak their interest. 

One of the members named Tucker, the son of friar tuck, leaned into the microphone, “Well of course we’re hexcited for legacy year, it’s the first step towards the future, and also-” 

“It's the first time the merry men are performing for the after partay! Get our album on Spellify now because you will want to know all the lyrics to sing along!” Sparrow finished, accentuating his speech with loud strums of his guitar. 

Blondie covered one ear with a finger, her right eye squinting. “Well that was one answer to the question. Let's keep moving shall we? Oo! How about we hear from two of the most anticipated Princesses this year! Apple White, Ashlynn Ella! How are you two feeling about Legacy year?” 

Ashlynn stared at the microphone in front of her with what seemed to be slight anxiety. “I am … very happy that it’s finally Legacy year. This year is a time for us to grow, as… people.”

Apple watched as Ashlynn trailed off. Poor Ashe! Apple knew she could get nervous when put on the spot like this, especially when so many people were around. She had once told Apple that she spends so much time in the woods that animals can be easier to talk to than people. Apple straightened her back and swooped in to help her friend. “It’s also a time for us to prove our dedication to our families, stories, and future kingdoms. The more effort we put into our studies and practices this year the better our futures and the future of Ever After will be! As royal student council body president I call on everyone to join me in doing our best to make this Legacy year Spelltacular!” Apple cheered, her infectious joy and brilliant smile causing the surrounding students and parents to get riled up with uplifting pride. Blondie agreed with Apple before moving to interview some of the other students when the line moved forward. As Apple and Ashlynn turned back around to move with the line, Apple saw that the Headmaster had been smiling joyfully at her while she was being interviewed. She smiled back. 

“Thanks Apple, i’m … not fairy good at public speaking yet” Ashlynn sighed, rubbing her neck as she watched  Blondie interview one of the little pigs. Apple rubbed her arm soothingly. 

“It’s ok! I’m always happy to help you out, your one of my BFFA’s! Besides, we'll be practicing speeches in Princessology and Kingdom management so you have plenty of opportunities to grow your public speaking skills this year, like you said.” The blonde replied cheerily. Ashlynn seemed to relax a bit at that. Apple made a note to ask Blondie to do less spontaneous interviews with Ashlynn. Blondie was another close friend of both princesses so she knew she meant well, but sometimes her enthusiasm for reporting could get in the way of her social skills. 

The line eventually moved enough that Apple and Ashlynn were at the table. Mrs. Her Majesty The White Queen smiled when they approached and started searching through the files in front of her to find their dorm keys. “Sorry girls, I meant to have everything prepared this morning but how can one prepare when pears aren't premade? Give me a few ticks to find your keys” 

Apple and Ashlynn both smiled and nodded at this explanation. None of the princesses at ever after high quite understood what their advisor was saying all of the time but Apple was certain that the White Queen was a fairy wise ruler in wonderland logic. 

“Both of you had very moving things to say about Legacy year. I am glad to see that the next generation of rulers are taking their futures with such genuine commitment.” Headmaster Grimm turned to Apple and Ashlynn, his smile warm and eyes crinkled. 

Apple returned the smile “Of course! There's a lot of expectations to meet, so it’s important that we try our hardest to fulfill them.” 

“I am quite happy you believe so as well Ms. White.” The headmaster responded. 

“Aha! Keys of two have been supplied, but plans of boarding might subside! Here are your keys girls. Ashlynn you have the same key as Briar Beauty, she came earlier to set up her room. Apple I am not sure who your roommate is as no other princess or fruit have had the same dorm number.” The white queen said as she handed off their keys. 

“Oh dear, I know you and Briar were hoping to room together this year, do you want to switch dorms?” Ashlynn asked as they walked away, holding out her key to Apple. Apple gently pushed it back towards her, shaking her head slightly. 

“No, I was planning on it earlier in the summer but since then things have changed and I’ve been asked to room with another student that may need my help during the school year. Briar already knows, so you shouldn’t worry about it. Besides she’ll be hexcited to room with you, especially since you can help her pair her shoes with her outfits better than I can.” 

Ashlynn laughed at that “Well, that's good to know, I was worried for a second there. Do you know who you're rooming with then?” 

Apple nodded, but before she could explain to her friend why she gave up a room with her BFFA to room with her story book villain Briar Beauty bounced down the stairs on high stilettos towards them. 

“Apple, Ashlynn! Finally, I was getting so bored waiting for you two! Apple, your skirt is spelltacular, where did you get it? Have you two seen the new chairs put into the science and sorcery room? They are going to be so much more comfortable than the old ones. Oh I missed you guys!”

The two princesses giggled at their friends' rapid fire questions. Briar was known for talking fast sometimes when she got passionate about something, and she was most definitely passionate about her friendships, something Apple found most admirable. “I missed you too! We just got our dorm keys so we haven’t seen the new chairs. My skirts actually one of my mothers old skirts with some upgrades.” Apple responded, walking quicker to keep up with her tall friend. As they passed other students struggling with their trunks, Apple felt thankful that she was able to have her trunks taken upstairs ahead of her by some very friendly dwarves. It seemed Ashlynn had done something similar as once the three princesses opened the door to Ashlynn and Briars' dorm a flock of birds flew in from the window carrying her things. 

“Lucky! I had to get my little brothers to help me move in and they would not stop trying to steal my jewelry to play pirates” briar whined, moving further into the space. “We should get your side set up ASAP so you can help me get the book to school party together.”

“Well I'll let you two get settled in” Apple smiled, giving Briar one more hug before leaving the room. “Tell me if you need help with the party!”

“”We definitely will” Briar called back. “Good luck!”

Ashlynn watched as her friend walked away towards her own dorm further down the hall. It felt off to her that Apple would give up a guaranteed room with briar this year. She did tell Ashlynn that she was rooming with a student who might need her help this year, but Ashlynn was unsure of who it could be. Maybe a new princess who transferred in this year? It was rare but some students could spend their first year at a different school before Legacy year, so it was a likely explanation. But… 

“Hey Briar? Why did you tell Apple ‘good luck’?” 

Briar dropped a pair of Ashlynn's shoes she was holding and grabbed her by the shoulders. “She didn’t tell you? Grimms super worried about another Evil Queen scenario happening. She’s rooming with Raven Queen this year!”

[feverinfeveroutfic]

the skeleton key | chapter five: a violet affair

Mark and Dave had gotten their goods within the day, but I was more concerned as to whether or not I could hang out with Alex again. I knew for a fact that I had to have time away from the bakery, but then again, I had my worries that I could lose my job there if I took too much time off. The tour in question was two weeks, and I had all of ten days for vacation for the year, and naturally, I hated the idea of having to take all those days off in concession lest I wanted to head out somewhere over the summer or for Christmas.

One thing was for certain and that was the fact that I wanted to be in Seattle and Eugene. I had only been to Seattle once before, and it was before my life as a baker, and I needed to seduce Alex with the donuts from Eugene. I giggled at the thought of making him a special black and white donut in honor of his gray streak. A black donut with a line of a pearl across the top and the kiss of cookies and cream, and I would make him a full baker’s dozen, all for him. I remembered that Valentine’s Day was upon us, and thus, I knew that I could make him something for that day. I had no idea as to what his situation was, but I had the desire within me, the desire to give him something that he could take home with him and indulge to his heart’s desire.

I couldn’t really explain it but he brought out a strange itch in me. I suddenly had the feeling to bake all manner of Jewish food and make sure that I had day-olds all for him, because I knew for a fact that he would swing by during the day, even if he was about to leave and head off to this next stint of touring.

I had clocked in early that morning with the memory of the night before still etched in my mind. I never got that other guy Eric’s number, but I was certain that he and Marcy had hit it off when my eyes were on Alex and Stu. All I could recall from the walk back to the car was hearing his laughter behind me and his offering to see us again when the time came. I had no clue as to what that meant, but I had my hunches.

I had set out the croissants with ham and cheese as well as the new ones filled with greens and cream cheese as a play on spanakopita when the front door opened.

I recognized that head of smooth, fine blonde hair as it made its way into the room.

“Oh, hey, Jerry,” I greeted him.

“Hi! I thought I’d get here early so I could tell you the big news.”

“New Alice In Chains album?” I quipped as I wiped my hands on the very bottom part of my apron. He laughed out loud at that, complete with a clap of his hands.

“No, but it is in consideration, though! I was going to tell you that I’m embarking on a big tour this year. A big grand tour, if you will, a big chunk of which will take place out here in the Golden State.”

“I was just going to ask, what about here in California?” I confessed to him, to which he kept up that smile and leaned in closer to me.

“It’s not for a while, like I won’t perform here in L.A. until late September,” he continued. “I’m still inviting you and Marcy Playground to come in and join me along the way.”

“You know I’d be more than happy to,” I assured him. “Shall I bring a pie or a cake along with me?”

“Surprise me,” he decreed, complete with a slight hooding to his eyes as if he was seducing me. He leaned in closer to me just so I could drink in his musky but soft cologne on the side of his neck and all along his face. “I mean that, too. I want you to surprise me.”

I had the idea to make him an erotic cake once I saw him again, but I nipped it off right then because I had no idea as to how he would react towards it.

“You know, we have a rye bread that we make with pale ale and oats,” I told him. “We also have Bailey’s cake and cupcakes for St. Paddy’s Day coming up here soon, too.”

“Ooh, that sounds good,” he confessed. “I’m not much of a drinker, though.”

“The alcohol bakes right out of it all, so we’re left with the mere flavors of the Bailey’s and the ale, too. The cake and the cupcakes are utterly decadent and indulgent because there’s lots of chocolate and even some espresso mixed in.”

“Oh, man, you’re killing me.” He leaned away and ran his fingers through his hair. “I should tell you that my birthday is the day after St. Patrick’s Day, too.”

“Oh, wow! I better get on prep, then.” 

“And I just might see you then, too.” Jerry flashed me a wink and then bowed out of there, and I was left with a warm flushed feeling in my face as a result. I turned my attention to the plate of croissants right next to me, and a part of me wanted to chase him down and offer him one, but he was already long gone at that point.

I set the plate on the counter before me when the door swung open again, and that time I recognized the frizzy head of black hair split in two with a streak of gray like a vein of quicksilver. Those eyes, not as big and pool-like as they were the night before.

“Hi,” I greeted him.

“Hi.” Alex returned the favor with that lopsided little little smile filled with those buck teeth.

“I haven’t decided yet,” I confessed to him as I folded my arms over the top of the counter.

“That’s okay! Take your time with it and think about your work and all the trappings that come with it.” He approached the other side of the counter, also with his arms folded over the top edge. I reached down right next to me for the plate of spanakopita croissants, especially since I remembered they were kosher.

“Care for a croissant?” I offered him.

“Ooh, oh my,” he remarked.

“They’re filled with spinach and cream cheese.”

“So like spanakopita!”

“Exactly! They’re also kosher.”

“Oh, beautiful.” He ran the tip of his tongue along his bottom lip and showed me that mischievous smile once again.

“A part of me wants to eat better,” he confessed. “You know, continuously take better care of myself as I get older.”

“Being a baker has allowed me to get more intimate with my ingredients,” I explained. “For example, I am an absolute stickler for all things fresh.”

“As you should be! Something about being a baker and resorting to stuff out of the box or a jar…” He shook his head at that, and then he reached for the croissant on the top and leaned against the counter’s edge as if he was examining something up on the shelf behind me.

“You know, there’s tables out back,” I told him.

“I’d rather be here,” he confessed to me. “To be honest, I’m feeling a little… something something between the two of us.” He held the croissant up to his full cherry lips as if he beckoned a bite, but he never did. He instead locked his eyes with my own and kept that smile plastered across his face. 

We were alone in the bakery.

“Let me kiss you,” he begged to me. “Please, we’re alone now. I’m wanting to feel you. I’m wanting to feel something right now, and I’m wanting to try something, too.”

“I got the craziest idea earlier,” I began again, “it’s so stupid, though.” I chuckled and shook my head.

“Can’t be that stupid,” Alex assured me with a shake of his head and a folding of his arms across his chest. I nibbled on my bottom lip, and I noticed the little twinkle in his eye all the while. 

So it began.

“We should start baking erotic cakes here in the bakery,” I suggested in a low voice, and he raised his eyebrows at that. “A half dozen cupcakes with my lips molded on top in frosting and fondant. Or a cake in the shape of your dick. Or a cake with your dick on top and me made of modeling chocolate while I’m giving you the mother of all blowjobs.”

“Scandalous,” he blurted out, albeit with a straight face.

“Oh, well… it’s not like we have a lot of big gorgeous Jewish men with long beautiful dark hair and cute little noses come through that door,” I pointed out with a shrug of my shoulders. I kept my eye on the full tip of his nose, and I thought about kissing him there just to give him what for.

“So you wanna kiss me?” I asked him.

“Please, let me kiss you.”

“Come back here and kiss me,” I returned the favor to him. He picked up his spanakopita and rounded the edge of the display case to meet up with me, but I led him into the back room instead, just so we could have all the privacy in the world.

“I should probably tell you that Marcy’s coming at some point today,” I told him. “She never said as to when but all I know is it’s going to be at some point during my shift.”

“So, we better make this quick and to the point,” he quipped.

“Or, we go slow and low and let Marcy walk in and see us,” I suggested to him, which in turn made him gape at me.

“Alison!” he hissed at me. His phone vibrated right then, and he took it out of his jeans pocket for a quick glimpse at the screen.

“Who’s that?” I asked him as I spotted what appeared to be a woman’s name on the screen.

“Oh, no one… just my girlfriend,” he told me, to which I gasped at that.

“You’re a bad, bad boy,” I teased him with a shake of my head and a wag of my finger.

“You think so?” he retorted to me with a flick of his eyebrow.

“You are,” I said. “Be careful, baby, I could hit her up and tell on you.”

“You wouldn’t,” he chuckled, but I showed him my tongue and let it slip in between his lips like the filthiest secret he could ever imagine in his life. He held the croissant right before his chest, and I had no idea as to how he was going to eat it.

“I’m a bad boy and I’m gonna give it to you good, my sweet baker,” he whispered to me.

“Sweet baker with a mysterious boy from Israel,” I retorted.

“Poland, actually. We probably could trace the family name back to Israel, though, if we were able to do it.”

“Interesting! And… are you going to eat that croissant?”

“Of course! I think I’ll eat it once we…” He set it down on the table next to him and unbuttoned his jeans, much to my surprise. I could see that he had a little chubby going in between his legs, right underneath the thin fabric of his briefs.

“When’d you say Marcy was coming in?” he asked me.

“Like any minute,” I replied.

“Okay, so we better get this shit going…” But before he could lunge for me, I beat him to the punchline and I put my arms around his thick waist. I locked my lips with his, and I could feel him undoing the knot of my apron at the small of my back. My hips already began to buck from the feeling, and more so as he leaned his back to the wall off to the side: we were protected by the cabinets and the hood over one of the ovens, and thus, no way anyone could see us.

I let the apron slide off my body, followed by my pants. I spread my legs out to clue him in.

“Go ahead and touch me there,” I whispered to him. “Your fingers. My clit.”

He licked his lips and used those long guitar player fingers to feel me right where it tickled. I gasped and shuddered from the feeling of his fingers on the head of the nub.

We were doing it. We were doing it in the back room of the bakery right next to one of the ovens.

“To the left,” I whispered to him. He rubbed those rough fingers on the nub on the left side, and I could feel myself growing moist from the feeling.

I then reached down for his dick tucked away in his underwear. I was going to make that dick so wet whether he wanted the inside of his underwear soaked or not. I was going to make him pay for going behind a woman’s back and for not eating the spanakopita as of yet.

I tugged it out of hiding and fondled him with both hands. I tugged on his flesh as if I was pulling on a thick rope. I gazed into his face all the while: I kept my eyes locked onto his, and I was going to keep it up until he was wetter than me.

I could feel something liquid on the inside of my palm, and I knew he was ready. I spread my legs even more and I bent my knees. He pressed his back to the wall as I ground in deep.

“I just thought of another idea for an erotic cake,” he suggested in between gyrations.

“Go on,” I whispered to him.

“You… have your…” He scrunched his eyes shut and made a noise that sounded like he was choking on something. “…you have your hand on my… on my… on my…!”

I pressed a finger to his lips to silence him. I lifted up a bit so he could breathe, and then I leaned over his body so I could be face to face with him.

“I know,” I whispered into his lips. Alex closed his eyes and let out a silent moan, and I could feel something warm right near the back of my thigh. I glanced down to behold his fully erect, messy dick with the line of pearls trickling out from the tip and onto the floor. I needed to mop, anyway.

“You’ve got a hold on me forever, Alison Chains,” he whispered to me; his voice was tender and throaty, and I wanted to caress it down forever as he had said, even when I let him off the wall so he could gather himself and eat his spanakopita.

When he said my nickname, Jerry burst into my mind. And I knew that there was no way that I could explain it to him when I saw him again.

[qnewsau]

Pet Shop Boys planning first Australian tour in years

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/pet-shop-boys-plan-first-australian-tour-in-a-decade/

Pet Shop Boys planning first Australian tour in years

British music icons the Pet Shop Boys have shared that they’re planning an Australia tour – hopefully – for next year.

Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe went on The Project to talk about new album Nonetheless, their 15th studio album, out today.

Neil said, “We’re planning to do a tour in Australia. I think maybe next year.”

But he quickly added, ‘What I should say is we’re in discussion about coming to Australia next year.”

The Pet Shop Boys have been touring their Dreamworld: The Greatest Hits Live tour around Europe.

The concert was also filmed and released in cinemas globally – including Australia – earlier in the year.

Neil and Chris haven’t performed in Australia since 2014. They performed a pair of shows at Carriageworks during that year’s Vivid Sydney event.

Their last full-scale tour was in 1994. The boys returned for a festival in 2007 and a Sydney New Year’s Eve show in 2011.

The @petshopboys may be international superstars, but they still have time for Aussie TV, and they tell us why they love Ja’Mie from Summer Heights High. pic.twitter.com/JZsWY4bLxh

— The Project (@theprojecttv) April 25, 2024

Pet Shop Boys on Troye Sivan and All of Us Strangers

Elsewhere in the interview, the Pet Shop Boys also gave a big shoutout to Aussie singer-songwriter Troye Sivan.

“I really like his album [Something To Give Each Other],” Neil told The Project.

“Last year, it was the pop album I listened to most.”

The boys also gave their thoughts on two high-profile projects that have used their music recently.

Andrew Haigh’s tearjerking All of Us Strangers and Emerald Fennell’s wild Saltburn both use Pet Shop Boys songs in pivotal scenes.

“There’s a sort of tradition with us – which these two films aren’t in, happily – where a director will want to use It’s A Sin to establish you’re in a gay club in America in the late 80s. It’s a bit corny, that, and reductive maybe.

“In Saltburn, they sing Rent and it’s part of the plot.

“In All Of Us Strangers, [Andrew Scott’s character] is with his family. It’s Christmas 1987 and Always On My Mind is number one and we’re even on the television in the scene.

“It’s an incredible moment of togetherness for them, and it’s a great use of the two songs in both films.”

Neil also said All of Us Strangers director Andrew Haigh would direct their next music video.

“The visuals on that are going to be incredible,” he said.

Pet Shop Boys’ new album Nonetheless

Pet Shop Boys’ new album Nonetheless follows their 2020 album, Hotspot. The new record is the boys’ first after returning to their ‘80s-era label Parlophone.

“We wanted this album to be a celebration of the unique and diverse emotions that make us human,” Neil and Chris explain.

“From the more dance-orientated tracks to the raw poignancy of the introspective ballads, with their beautiful string arrangements, each track tells a story and contributes to the overall narrative of the album.”

“It was great to work with James Ford, who we think has brought new elements to our music.

“James has dared to make us a bit more minimal at times and the final result is a record we’re very proud of.”

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[taste-in-music]

taste-in-music’s top 30 songs of 2022

Hello everyone! Welcome back to my annual countdown of my 30 favorite songs of the year. 2022 had a lot of great music releases, and I’m so excited to recount the songs I replayed throughout the year. Now, on with the list!

This year was so jam-packed I have ten honorable mentions to share before we get to the list proper: tears in the club by FKA Twigs ft. The Weeknd, Destination l’amour by Pi Ja Ma, Little Freak by Harry Styles, Fast Times by Sabrina Carpenter, EMPATHY 4 BETHANY by Saya Gray, Be Cool by Maggie Rogers, This Hell by Rina Sawayama, Heavy Heart by Bartees Strange, Karma by Taylor Swift, and Shotgun by Soccer Mommy

F2F by SZA: “F2F” was a fast favorite that came late in the year, mostly for how pleasantly surprising it was. The 2000s pop-punk revival has been percolating for the past few years, and SZA’s entry into the genre suits her frighteningly well. She’s written on the complications of revenge sex and missing an ex before, but the area-ready bombast of the guitar-driven instrumental elevates it to the next level. It may have looked to the past for sonic inspiration, but it feels fresh.

君に夢中 (Kimini Muchuu) by Hikaru Utada: I didn’t know what to expect when I clicked play on J-pop icon Hikaru Utada’s new album on a whim, but when I heard “君に夢中,” which translates to “crazy about you” in English, I was immediately struck by a feeling of familiarity. It may be because the opening synth riff reminds me of “Boys Of Summer,” it may be Utada’s impassioned delivery, it may be the rattling hi-hats that instate an undeniable groove on the song’s back end. Whatever it is, Utada managed to capture something ethereal on this track, and I can’t wait to explore more of her catalogue in the future.  

Flower (In Full Bloom) by Luna Li ft. Dreamer Isioma: Romantic angst never sounded so damn dreamy. On “Flower (In Full Bloom),” Luna Li pleads with a lover that refuses to put in the effort in a relationship, while Dreamer Isioma provides the opposing perspective speaking about how the spark has already died. As the song progresses, the cushy soundscape of twinkling keys escalates to a bitching guitar solo that makes for one hell of a final moment.

Kissing Lessons by Lucy Dacus: If nothing else, “Kissing Lessons” is a marvel of concision. Each detail Dacus compiles, bracelet charms, hair tosses, dreams of buying a three-story house, all come together to form a rich vignette about a young girl’s budding sexuality and growing inculcation into gender roles in just under two minutes. Place those details over a rollicking rock instrumental and you’ve got on special sucker punch of a song that gives you just enough to want to know more. The only choice, then, is to hit repeat.

It’s Raining by Superorganism ft. Dylan Cartlidge and Stephen Malkmus: For Superorganism, there is no sample too silly, no instrumental flourish too strange to throw into their melting pot. Describing “It’s Raining” from their sophomore album World Wide Pop means describing the barrage of baffling moments it throws at warp speed. Frontwoman Orono Noguchi sings about a “cyborg grilled-cheese-sandwich machine” over thunderclaps. English rapper Dylan Cartlidge spits bars about Elon Musk over a backing chorus of what sounds like demented Muppets. Pavement frontman Stephen Malkmus’s lyrics about riding a horse-drawn carriage are ushered in with clip-clopping hooves and a sample of a neigh. These moments come together to form a loopy, loping confection that’s as absurd as it is addictive.

Superfan by Chelsea Jade: On “Superfan,” Chelsea Jade navigates the blurred lines of talking to a crush, a situation where you’re trading adversarial jabs and confrontational quips and you can never tell if you’re flirting or fighting. Ultimately, Jade reveals the obsession lying beneath the surface, identifying herself as a “superfan” trying to play it cool. Driving home the playful awkwardness is Jade’s use of vocal samples throughout, whether they’re narrating along to her conversation or splicing through the chorus with hiccup-y clips of harmonization. It’s a song that cuts through the guise to reveal the vulnerability at its core.

Holding Back by BANKS: In the years since her debut, BANKS has become my go-to artist for electropop bangers that conjure emotional vulnerability and goddess-level confidence alike. “Holding Back” may be an outpouring of memories in the wake of a doomed relationship, but the hard-hitting electronic groove and boosted bass breathe new life into a familiar concept. As BANKS switches between vulnerable coos and full-chested belts, she unleashes the innermost desire for her care to be reciprocated. “I wrote you a melody,” she sings in the chorus, “can’t you see that?”

Whatever Fits Together by Skullcrusher: Skullcrusher has perfected the art of weaving immersive tapestries from whispy sonic fragments, a strummed guitar here, a gossamer synthesizer there, a lyrical fragment about leaving home to tie it all into a single package. “Whatever Fits Together” pulls disparate pieces from their distinct places in the ether to form something transient and melancholy, the mournful tone of Helen Ballentine’s voice balanced by a sunny tambourine. It’s ephemeral, it’s beautiful, it all fits together perfectly.

Another Man’s Jeans by Ashe: Ashe may have broken onto the pop scene with brokenhearted ballads, but there’s always been a confidence and cleverness to her delivery that’s made her stand out. On her comeback single “Another Man’s Jeans,” she douses her witty songwriting with pure funk concentrate and struts through a kiss-off to a situationship with more swagger than she’s ever showcased on tape before. It makes for one of the most fun party jams of the year.

girlfriend by hemlocke springs: I first encountered hemlocke springs via an Instagram Reel where she posted a video propositioning “do u wanna hear the weirdest bridge you’ll ever hear in ur entire life?” The subsequent bridge shows springs hurling her voice up and down the scale with reckless abandon over a spritely synth groove, and wile it might not be the “weirdest bridge” I’ve ever heard, it certainly was one of the most memorable the year had to offer. The rest of the song, a blasé kiss-off to a potential suitor, pulls of the rare achievement for a viral song and lives up to the catchiness of the initial clip.

Spitting Off the Edge of the World by Yeah Yeah Yeahs ft. Perfume Genius: “Spitting Off The Edge of the World” is awesome in the archaic sense, encapsulating the simultaneous awe and terror that comes from facing something so much bigger than yourself. It’s a song that earns it galactic sense of scope from the quiet moments it provides to contrast it, as Karen O and Perfume Genius trade demure, flitting verses before the chorus kicks in on the heels of a larger-than-life barrage synths and guitars. It’s titanic, it’s triumphant, it’s just awesome, (in that it’s also just damn great.)

The Loneliest Time by Carly Rae Jepsen ft. Rufus Wainwright: I remember when this song was released just ahead of The Loneliest Time album and questioning how this collaboration could possibly work. As soon as I heard it, the answer was clear: never question Carly Rae Jepsen. At this point, Jepsen has boiled pop music down to a science, but that doesn’t mean it’s sterile or forced. The string-adorned, disco-inflected groove on “The Loneliest Time” is the perfect landscape for Jepsen and Wainwright to trade verses about giving an old flame a second chance. It all culminates in that excellent bridge where Jepsen enthusiastically declares “I’m coming back for you baby / I’m coming back for you!” I, too, will continue coming back to this song, and Jepsen’s catalogue as a whole, when I need a pick up from my own personal loneliest times.  

fairy song by beabadoobee: Throughout her second album Beatopia, beabadoobee’s jaunty melodies and sugar-sweet vocals just barely cover a greater desperation for care and connection percolating beneath the surface. The best demonstration of this is “fairy song,” where a running list of self-care tasks atop perky pianos slowly cracks apart until it fully breaks into a buzzy whirlwind of distortion and beabadoobee’ screams just barely audible in the background. Then, just as the pandemonium reaches its peak, the song pulls itself back together and returns to the chipper atmosphere it began with. Ignoring one’s distress will only take you so far before the weight becomes too much to bear. Sometimes, drinking water and going outside isn’t enough. Letting the mess fly free every so often might just be the key to moving forward.

Cardigan by Sophie Cates: “Cardigan” is my silly pop song of the year, the track I turned to when I needed an instant sugar rush of endorphins. Sure, Sophie Cates rhymes “again” with “again” with “cardigan” with “again” again on the hook, but when it's set against the most instantly catchy melody of 2022, I hardly even notice. That’s not a slight against Cates’s writing though, the other choice details she employs throughout the song paint a vivid picture of a romance that’s lost its sparkle, and the wistful desire for the magic to return. It’s that undercurrent of longing that elevates “Cardigan” from being just a silly pop song to a great silly pop song, one that sticks around long after the initial rush has passed. 

Bump by Dora Jar: Dora Jar’s music captures the dark whimsy of a fairy tale, but the real fairy tales where the pixie dust and glass slippers come with a hungry wolf or vengeful witch lurking in the shadows. It’s a musical world that’s a little spooky, rife with curiosity, and lit up with a flicker of excitement. “Bump” is one of the best demonstrations of this quality, with Dora Jar describing the wonder of a chance encounter that may escalate into something more. The song is accented with astonished gaps, a swampy chorus of backing vocals, and an air-tight beat. It’s sweet and wondrous and a little claustrophobic, sonically capturing that tight-throated, heart-hammering anticipation to see what comes next.

In The Eyes Of Our Love by Yumi Zouma: “In The Eyes Of Our Love” is good in a way that just feels obvious, providing a breezy yet danceable energy that’s poised to play out the romantic climax of a teen movie from the 90s. Beneath its cheery surface, though, is a tremor of anxiety. Lead vocalist Christie Simpson signs of crumbling walls, splitting lips, and looming storms, worries that accelerate and melt away over the song's duration. Every great pop song grows all the greater with a sense of urgency, and “In The Eyes Of Our Love” threads that needle effortlessly while still being danceable as hell. What more could you want?

Part Of The Band by The 1975: Over the past few years, The 1975 have twisted the anthemic pop-rock that put them on the map to reveal the absurdity and anxiety at the heart of modern life. On “Part Of The Band,” the band’s first single off their 2022 album Being Funny In A Foreign Language, frontman Matty Healy’s musings on social upheaval are equal parts hilarious and insightful. After stuffing the song full of dizzying rhymes, (“vaccinista tote bag-chic baristas” with “communista keisters” especially comes to mind,) Healy finishes on a searing moment of self-reflection: “am I just some post-coke, average, skinny bloke / calling his ego imagination?” With a twitchily elegant backdrop crafted from plucky string swells, chopped-up vocal samples, and quivering synths, it’s a song whose catchiness, cleverness, and creativity lives up to the critiques on display.

ALIEN SUPERSTAR by Beyoncé: It was difficult to pick a favorite track from RENAISSANCE, an album so consistently excellent in its delivery of dancefloor euphoria. In the end, I had to go with the self-love celebration “ALIEN SUPERSTAR.” Every element of this song oozes self-assurance, from the spacy disco instrumental to Beyoncé’s vocals, which switch from sensual cooing to a British accent-inflected declarations to braggadocious belting at the drop of a hat. The result is a track poised to dominate dancefloors across the galaxy for years to come, and who’s surprised? She’s one of one. She’s number one. She’s the only one.

Nothing Gives Me Pleasure by Girlpool: I clicked play on Girlpool’s fifth album Forgiveness without any clear expectations. I certainly wasn’t expecting to be blasted with a wave of distorted synths followed by the most memorable opening line of the year: “Do you even want me if I even have to ask? / Break it to me gently with your fingers up my ass.” It’s an unforgettable one-two punch that immediately establishes the core themes of the album, trying to reconcile the desire for emotional and physical intimacy, and how those desires often conflict with and contradict one another. “Nothing Gives Me Pleasure” walks the power balance in a relationship built on mismatched expectations, trying to sate yourself with sex and coming up short. The soundscape skitters and heaves, the distortion ratcheting up as Harmony Tividad reiterates the title line over and over: “Nothing gives me pleasure like the words I know you won’t say.” 

cool by Uffie: Uffie made a name for herself in the bloghouse scene of the early 2010s, a musical moment defined by glitchy earworms, a punkish dedication to keeping the party going as long as possible, and lots and lots of glitter. For her 2021 comeback single with Company Records, “cool,” Uffie evolves the quirky maximalism of her past into something slick, modern, and effortlessly, well, cool. On “cool,” Uffie digs for gold in moments of stillness amidst chaos, chronicling moments of reprieve during a night out: sleepy Uber rides, poolside kisses, eating cereal with her partner. The best demonstration of this comes when, at the precipice of each chorus, all the music cuts out for a moment before Uffie ushers in the razor-sharp groove with a simple utterance of the song’s title, delivered with a blasé surety of someone who’s seen it all. As she sings in the song’s third verse, she’s “got nothing left to prove.” 

HENTAI by ROSALÍA: Amidst the raucous genreclash that makes up the rest of the MOTOMAMI tracklist, the gentle pianos of “HENTAI” may initially feel a bit out of place. But if you listen closely, there’s much to discover beneath its deceptively simple surface. First off, the lyrics are filthy as hell, (I know, big surprise for a song literally called “HENTAI,”) but the cheeky references to bike riding and tape making are balanced out by a tender backdrop that knows when to up the bombast. Whether it be the barely-there string flourishes, fluttering vocal runs, or the skittering blast of drums that drives the song’s closing moments home, “HENTAI” provides just enough off-kilter details that make the song transcend from mere sexy piano ballad into only “La ROSALÍA” could provide.

Simulation Swarm by Big Thief: Despite Big Thief’s fifth album Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You dropping all the way back in February, I found “Simulation Swarm” shamefully late in the year. But as soon as I heard it, I knew it would be on this list, and pretty high up too. Adrianne Lenker crafts songs that are immediately familiar, like I must have been listening to them from childhood. The details she employs throughout "Simulation Swarm” balance beauty and malice, painting the dark fairy tale and casual terror of modern life “crystal blood like a dream true,” “swallows in the windless field,” “river of light who I love / That I sing to in the belly of the empty night.” Set against a locomotive folk instrumental, “Simulation Swarm” feels like a gentle hug from the abyss, voicing the ability to face danger and walk forward with hope. 

Till We Run Out Of Air by Hatchie: I thought I knew what to expect going into Hatchie’s sophomore album Giving The World Away. Early singles like “Quicksand” and “This Enchanted” delivered another helping of the joyful shoegaze pop she’s been delivering for years. It’s a sound I’m always willing to gobble up, but there was an echo of something greater hovering right beneath the surface. With the final song on the album, Hatchie delivered a falcon punch of a finale that transforms that spark into a fireworks show. With its susurrus of swirling, watery synths and arena-ready chorus, “Till We Run Out Of Air” plows right through me with each repeated spin. It’s a song enraptured in the fine line between destruction and exhilaration, tracing the final moments in a romance with larger-than-life bombast. Perhaps the best encapsulation of this euphoria comes at the precipice of the chorus. “Open the curtains and let in the light,” Hatchie sings, before a glowing blossom of synths barrels the listener right into the song’s most anthemic refrain. It’s like the light at the end of the tunnel finally breaking through the darkness at just the right moment.

doomsday by Lizzie McAlpine: On her second album five seconds flat, Lizzy McAlpine elevated her personal songwriting with a cinematic scope. This approach is immediately introduced on the album’s opening “doomsday,” a slow-burning ballad chronicling a breakup though the lens of hindsight. McAlpine circles through deathly metaphors throughout the song: pulling the plug, violent ends, her partner as a “murderer” initiating their split on Halloween, the sample of a bone being split in half. This ghoulish gravitas of is backed up by an orchestral swell that makes the melodrama feel earned. These compounding elements build up the song’s momentum until McAlpine’s final revelation slams into you at full force: “I would’ve married you / If you’d stuck around / I feel more free than I have in years / Six feet in the ground.” The relationship may be dead and gone, but McAlpine makes it clear that she’s only getting started.

Lullabye by Grace Ives: Throughout Janky Star, Grace Ives concocts idea-stuffed soundscapes that vacillate between the anxieties and thrills of young adulthood. The earworms come so casually that they even materialize in the album’s moments of brevity. “Lullabye” is a perfect example of this. As the album’s closer, it shows the chaos winding down, giving way to moments of reflection. Ives’s breathily narrates the “lovely mess” of her life: watching movies on repeat, casually attempting gymnastics moves in the kitchen, and swapping confessions with a loved one late into the night. Set against gauzy landscape of synths, skittering drums, and chirpy backing vocals, I turned to the casual wisdom of “Lullabye” all the times this year when life got overwhelming. “No it’s nothing to be sad about,” Ives sings in the song’s closing moments, “It’s just something I’ve been thinking about.” It’s a welcome reminder of the power ruminating on small joys can hold.

Say It by SASAMI: On her latest album Squeeze, SASAMI took to flipping white male-dominated genres like punk and metal to articulate her own rage. One of the best examples of this is “Say It,” an unapologetic frenzy of glitchy rock scuzz. In an Apple Music interview, SASAMI stated that the song was “about the pain of someone not communicating with you,” carried out as she trades places with a bassy, distorted mirror of her own voice. Situated atop a strutting groove concocted of squealing guitars, grumbling bass, and booming drums, it all comes together to form something equal parts cathartic and terrifying. “Say It” might be one of the best rock songs the year had to offer, but amidst the ruckus, it’s first and foremost a call to throw your repentance to the wind and speak your mind. 

Yuck by Charli XCX: If you’ve been on TikTok for the past year or so, odds are you’ve come across the idea of “the ick,” the moment in a romantic relationship where something as simple as watching your beau chase a ping-pong ball across the floor flips your feelings of adoration into disgust. It only makes sense that one of pop’s most forward–thinking artists would capture this cultural phenomenon with masterful specificity and simplicity. Over a bouncy synth-heavy beat, Charli XCX lays out the moment when her love interest’s gooey romantic devotion starts to drive her away. Throughout “Yuck,” she takes romantic tropes like puppy dog eyes and bouquets of roses and flips them on their head. The result is the definitive song to throw on when the candy hearts get cloying. After spending the last few years of her career pushing pop to its very limits, her latest album Crash was a welcome reminder that even without all the hyperpop flourishes, she can still write damn good and effortless catchy bangers like this.

Free by Florence + The Machine: How do you persevere in the face of suffering? seems to be the question Florence Welch fixates on most throughout her projects with Florence + The Machine. She’s turned to several places in the past: making a break for freedom on her breakout hit “Dog Days Are Over,” self-destructive love on rock bangers like “Ship To Wreck” and “Shake It Out,” and reconciliation on her previous album, High As Hope. While the definite answer for such a question may never materialize, Welch has recognized how music can be one of the most potent salves for such woes. Her 2022 album Dance Fever provides several welcome additions to Welch’s growing catalog of musical catharsis, but it was “Free,” a free-spirited banger co-written by Jack Antonoff, that ended up hitting me the hardest. “Free” taps into something primal yet graceful, a raucous recognition that sometimes, the most inspiring feelings of freedom come hand in hand with singing at the top of your lungs. “For a moment, when I'm dancing,” Welch declares with titanic vocals over a propulsive drum beat and glittering keys, “I am free.” This relief may be temporary, but for the moment, it’s nothing short of magical.

American Teenager by Ethel Cain: On her debut album Preacher’s Daughter, Ethel Cain chronicles a journey of adolescent ennui and religious turmoil through sprawling, atmospheric ballads. Before she gets into all that, she also proves that she can write a teen pop anthem for the ages. “American Teenager” is the first official song on the album, and while it may be shorter and more immediate than its predecessors, it’s no less deftly crafted. Cain harnesses the larger-than-life, anthemic synth pop of the 80s, accenting the soundscape with shining synths, booming drums, and a bright saxophone solo. While the song relishes in altruistic Americana imagery of crying on the bleachers and whiskey-fueled rebellion, Cain also acknowledges the darkness lurking beneath the jubilation on the surface. The opening verse describes her neighbor’s brother being shipped home in a coffin, “another red heart taken by the American dream.” Still, despite this darkness, there’s a hope at the core of “American Teenager” that catapults it into the stratosphere, that suggests that maybe someday, those promises might come to fruition.

touch tank by quinine: I first came across “touch tank” as a fragment on TikTok, a looping clip of quinnie lip synching along to the first few lines of the chorus: “He’s so pretty / when he goes down on me.” And what an attention-grabbing set of lines they are, it’s not everyday that you stumble across a sweet, unassuming bedroom pop song explicitly discussing cunnilingus. But it isn’t just the refreshingly matter-of-fact  references to sex that make “touch tank” stick in the memory, it’s the atmosphere of intimacy quinnie builds around those lines. In its final form, “touch tank” builds an aqueous wonderland of small yet palpably intimate moments, freshly laundered t-shirts, discovering new tattoos, choosing to be gentle. “touch tank” is a tribute to those early stages in a relationship where you’re poking and prodding with care, trying to reach tender places without drawing blood. Rounded out with warm guitars, cooing flutes, and just a twinge of vocal distortion, it’s a song that feels lived in, welcoming, drawing you deeper into its depths with each repeated spin. 

What were your favorite songs from this year? Did I miss anything? Leave a comment or tag some in the reblogs and let me know.

This year has been an absolute whirlwind, and I hope you all have some good memories from it. Here’s to a safe, healthy 2023! 

[schrijverr]

Page 144-145

[Pages 144 and 145 are covered in a collage of photographs. One is of Will behind his easel, paint brush in hand and brows furrowed in concentration. Mike is putting down a cup of tea next to him as he places a soft kiss on Will’s cheek. Jonathan likes capturing their domestic moments when he visits, thinking of all the years they thought they wouldn't be able to have this.

There is one of Robin, pressing a kiss onto Steve’s cheek. He is sitting on the couch, holding a photo album in his lap with page of wedding photo’s open. It is taken when Eddie was out on tour with Corroded Coffin.

Another one is of Eddie, who is smacking one on Hopper’s cheek. It looks more like a hostage situation than a familial interaction. Granted, it kind of was, until Hopper warmed up to Eddie enough to be comfortable to let him around his kids after the Upside Down.

A photograph from the summer ‘85 is also there. El is kissing Mike on the cheek, who looks slightly uncomfortable. It isn’t clear if it is because of the camera or the kiss.

One photograph has a slightly sadder atmosphere. It is taken on the night of the Starcourt mall fight and is of the back of an ambulance. Steve and Robin are wrapped up together in a shock blanket and Robin is pressing a soft kiss onto Steve’s beaten face, hoping in vain she can soothe his pain.

The other image with a similar vibe is of Eddie and his uncle Wayne. Eddie is still in a coma, bandages wrapped around his face, leaving only a little bit of skin exposed. Wayne is giving it a soft kiss, head bowed as if in prayer.

There is one that is slightly blurry, taken selfie-style of Argyle, Jonathan and Nancy. In it, they all look drunk or high and it is taken late at night. Jonathan is getting kissed on both cheeks by his partners. They’d been out celebrating the end of final’s week.

Another one is of Max, looking like a thunder storm. She is sitting on the ground, crutches next to her, thrown haphazardly on the floor. In front of her is Lucas, holding her hands in his, giving her encouraging words. El is next to her, pressing a soft kiss on her cheek. It was taken when she was just learning to walk with the crutches, those early moments of frustration when she encountered a new limitation.

One is of Robin wrapped around Rose like an octopus, kissing her cheek happily. By the amount of lipstick on Robin’s face, she is returning the favor as Rose giggles with delight.

There is also one of Dustin kissing Suzie on her cheek as she smiles brightly. It is taken on a day by the lake. While full on making out has never been something for Dustin, who is asexual, he loves to shower Suzie with kisses on her cheeks or hands whenever he can.

Another one is of Jeff, kissing Eddie on his cheek. It is taken just after their first show in Boston, before they got big, both are sweaty but grinning wildly. They’re riding the high of being able to perform again.

The final one is of Nancy kissing Argyle on his cheek. Argyle is still in bed, having come home late from the restaurant, while Nancy and Jonathan have to leave early for work. She didn’t want to go without saying goodbye.]

A Collection of Cheek Kisses

Jonathan Byers, 1985-1992

~~

<<Prev Next>> AO3

[dirty-bosmer]

Summer Reading/Writing/Arting Tag

Tagged by my lovely friend @thequeenofthewinter to complete this "get to know the author" tag game. Thank you <3

Tagging: @justafoxhound @dumpsterhipster @chennnington @atypicalacademic @gilgamish @fantasydrowsy @skyrim-forever @late-nite-scholar @goddess-of-sorrow @hailtheknownworld @wispstalk @nuwanders @lucien-lachance @burningsilence @crynwr-drwg

And anyone who wants to join in! Please tag me :)

1) Describe one creative WIP project you’re planning to work on over the summer.

Chapter 2 of my dissertation ideally XD In terms of creative projects, I gotta finish The Illusionist first and foremost (I'm so close!). I have a love-hate relationship with that fic, but it has taught me so much. Also I need to complete it so I can move onto my next story without guilt lol. I'm very, very excited to spend more time fleshing out my cast for Slither and Writher, my first Skyrim longfic that stars my delusional necromancer LDB, Sylawen.

2) Rec a book!

The Road by Cormac McCarthy. It's a dark and despairing story about a boy and his father travelling south in the fallout of a mysterious apocalypse. McCarthy's writing disturbs me so much, but every time I read his work, I come away with such a deeper appreciation for the English language.

3) Rec a fic! (outside your character tag)

Idle in their Thrones by buttsmcginty aka @wispstalk. An Oblivion novelization that features a captivating cast of characters including my favorite interpretation of Martin Septim ever. Tanis (and xenomorph Tanis) continues to live in my head rent free. Every character, every setting is so full of life, both in vibrancy and in the grittier uglier shades that shadow much of Oblivion's main questline. This story absolutely wrecked me in the best way possible. I've recced it multiple times, and I will do it again cause I'm annoying like that. Anyay, looking forward to reading the next installment of Tanis' adventures in the Shivering Isles while I lay out at the pool this summer ☀️

4) Rec music!

Sound and Color by the Alabama Shakes 🎶 They're a blues rock band, and I happened to be listening to this album at work today. Was reminded how much I love Brittany Howard's voice.

 5) Share one piece of advice!

If you're looking to improve your writing, especially if you're new to the craft like I am, read! Read, read, read. Read authors you want to write like. Read authors with completely different styles. Read within your genre and outside of it and highlight passages that move you to dissect later. Honestly some weeks I don't touch my wips at all and just get lost in a book, and every time I come back to my writing with my calibration for "good" writing having shifted. It's a blessing and a curse cause while I ultimately write for fun, I do want to improve and reading always ends with me raising the standards for myself, aaaaahhh 😅 I swear it's a good thing in the end lmao.

[murfeelee]

End of Year Asks

Saw this questionnaire on my dash, and couldn’t resist!

___________________________________________

1: Song of the year? The Rumbling (Attack on Titan OST). AoT started 2022 off CORRECT, lemme tell you.

2: Album of the year? The Bleach Thousand Year Blood War OST. That Quincy Imperial March gets me going! I can’t wait for the official release.

3: Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year? Kaho Nakamura, from the Belle (2021) OST. Every song she sang was EXCELLENT, her voice is LITERALLY a bell.

4: Movie of the year? The only movies I’ve watched this year are anime, and Belle was my favorite, even though it came out in 2021.

5: TV show of the year? TV: AMC’s Interview with the Vampire. Anime: Bleach.

6: Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you? Bleach TYBW S01E01, the hype was real--Bleach is BACK, baby! \(^0^)/ This has been the year of astounding adaptations. We waited TEN YEARS for this, and it was PERFECTION.

7: Favorite actor of the year? Jacob Anderson. My mind was blown, seeing Grey Worm from Game of Thrones turn into THIIIIIIIIS sexy AF vampire, WTF?

8: Game of the year? God of War: Ragnarok. Only been waiting FOUR EFFING YEARS for the sequel.

9: Best month for you this year? June & July, when I was on Summer Break.

10: Something that made you cry this year? So much anime, too much homework.

11: Something you want to do again next year? Go to an anime convention.

12: Talk about a new friend you made this year. I met a nice girl in my Greek class who’s super sweet. We study together and spend most of the time fussing about how much we hate Greek. XD

13: How was your birthday this year? I don’t even remember. My Halloween was lovely though.

14: Favorite book you read this year? The only books I read lately are for school, and none of them are what I’d call favorites.

15: What’s a bad habit you picked up this year? Getting fat off of junk food. I’ve never been this big in my life. I’m depressed.

16: Post a picture from the beginning of the year:

I really didn’t sim much this year--the only pic I posted in January was from my New Years miniset. U_U

17: Post a picture from the end of the year:

My newest hyperfixation--I make myself tired.

18: A memorable meal this year? I ate raw fish at a sushi place for the first time. Never again. At least I wasn’t the one paying. DEEP FRY my food, please, thanks.

19: What’re you excited about for next year? My fave professor’s coming off sabbatical next year, so I’m stoked! I was dead bored this year.

20: What’s something you learned this year? A lot. How much of it will be relevant to my research though....? HA.

21: What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? The extra layer of dust over everything, cuz I ain’t in the mood to clean.

22: Favorite place you visited this year? My mom’s is the only place I ever travel to.

23: If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be? Get more sleep, idiot, and put the Pepsi down.

24: Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions? Not really U_U I didn’t get around to doing any Dragon Age or Cyberpunk stuff this year. And I only did a little bit of the Untamed gameplay. The most headway I made was with Bleach, but I didn’t even finish the Substitute Arc--I really wanted to get to the Soul Society stuff.

25: Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one: I REcreated plenty of sims from a bunch of new fandom INSP gameplays, including: Bleach, The Old Guard, Critical Role, and Interview with the Vampire. I think my favorite has been Caduceus from Critical Role.

I had a lot of fun making him and his CC with all the mushrooms, and the lot I built for him, full of plants and stuff. So rarely do I indulge in High Fantasy, because it’s HARD to do fanciful gameplay--especially for MEN, since everything’s female-oriented in The Sims 3 communitty--unless I make the CC myself--which I hate doing. But I really wanted Caduceus in my game, so, alas.

________________________________________________

Thanks for reading!

Happy Simming, and Happy New Year!

[poisoned-pearls]

Are Viv & Emil fluent in french/german(??) I imagine they would be because Rook would be such a doting dad making sure they understand it-- but I also imagine during Rooks lessons Vil often needs to remind them to stay on task because in my mind Rook isn't necessarily easily distracted but he does get carried away easily lol also I've seen Vil knowing german but I dont know if thats canon in the game but I do know schoenheit is a german name lol

Viv and Emil are fluent in French, English (as the default universal language bc it is my first language) and Swahili actually! They’re conversational in German

I ADORE the idea that rook is half beastmen, just with dormant/non visible beast parts (fennec fox mother-) , and since he’s from the savanna, they know Swahili from the summers they’d spend with their grandparents.

Rook has spoken to them in French since they were born (like full blown French-French since they were babies. Not just like random French addins full sentences and paragraphs) so it’s just kinda apart of their lives. Emil uses a bit more random French sentences but it’s much more like mumbling under his breath. His way of coping

they both don’t normally have an accent tho. They DO however say all of the borrowed words correctly. Like lowkey pretentious dude saying “croissant” way to correct in the middle of English sentence. Rook would yell at them for saying ANY French word with an english accent. They’re HIS kids and he will be DAMNED if they ever say char-cute-er-E or cro-sant. (Those are the only example words I can think of rn)

It did take Viv and Faraja two years of knowing each other to figure out they both speak Swahili, BUT Faraja has been aware of Viv being 1/4th beastmen since their first month of school.

(Also the bang incident happened their second month of their second year. Someone had cut the front pieces of her hair shorter than the others accidentally, so in a late night haze fueled by the older ignihyde dorm leaders positive renforcement and too much class work, she cut her own bangs. She does vaguely understand how to trim her own hair, but not a big chop. Her bags end up barely being longer than an inch. So now she is HEAVILY panicking bc she was abt to get her ass chewed out by Vil bc she Had an Interview for her new album the next day. One very panicked call ever Faraja is coming over with a silk handkerchief. She folds it and uses it as a headband to pull the bangs back and hidden away. She wears a headband for the rest of the year bc her hair grows excruciatingly slowly)

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 28/10/2023 (The Kid LAROI/Central Cee, blink-182's 'ONE MORE TIME...')

Content warning: Cynicism and brief masturbation

For a third week, Kenya Grace’s “Strangers” is at the top of the UK Singles Chart, and welcome back to a quieter, later episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

Now the Official Charts Company was so delayed in posting the chart this week that I am so incredibly late in actually getting the chance to write this rundown section. Alas, let’s do a speedrun here - firstly we always start with the notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40, you know it, yadda-yadda-yadda. This week we bid adieu to: “DArkSide” by Bring Me the Horizon, “I Do” by Nines featuring who the Hell cares, “Hide and Seek” by 163Margs featuring Digga D, “PARK CHINOIS” by Headie One and K-Trap, “Rich Men North of Richmond” by Oliver Anthony Music, “Hell n Back” by Bakar and finally, “So Much in Love” by D.O.D. It had a good run.

As for our gains and returns, we see re-entries for bottom-feeders like “Riptide” by Vance Joy at #75 and “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac at #66, as well as the new Rolling Stones album letting “Angry” slip back at #73, “Lil Boo Thang” by Paul Russell sprouting legs at #65 and “bad idea right?” by Olivia Rodrigo doing weird three-song-rule shenanigans at #46 because of course. And as for our gains, we see boosts for - bear with me - “Style” by Taylor Swift at #62 (watch that space), “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac at #56, “Party All the Time” by Hannah Laing and HVRR at #53, “ONE MORE TIME” by blink-182 at #42 thanks to the album, “Calm Down” by Rema at #39, “Me & U” by Tems at #36, “On My Love” by Zara Larsson and David Guetta at #29, “Agora Hills” by Doja Cat at #28, “Pompeii” by Bastille at #26, “One of Your Girls” by Troye Sivan and finally, Noah Kahan grabs his first top 10 with “Stick Season” at #9.

As for our top five, it’s pretty expected - “Water” by Tyla is at #5, which I’m never going to complain about, and then we have “greedy” by Tate McRae at #4, “Cruel Summer” by Taylor Swift at #3  gaining off of the back of a re-release featuring a live version and a remix - more of her to come next week - and then “Prada” by casso, RAYE and D-Block Europe at #2 with of course, “Strangers” at #1. Now to see what this smaller week may have to offer in its pattering of shoddy new entries.

NEW ARRIVALS

#63 - “Sensational” - Chris Brown featuring Davido and Lojay

Produced by DJ Hardwerk, BigRagee, Krazytunez and XQ

Davido and Lojay are Nigerian singers so it seems like Chris Brown’s latest ploy is to slot himself within Afrobeats, a genre wherein he… honestly fits pretty well. A lot of male Afrobeats singers have nasal, Auto-Tuned voices saved by their potent, earnest delivery. That’s Breezy’s vocal default in a nutshell… so why is he trying to be cool here? He plays off the wavy, tropical shuffling with a level of restraint and subtlety you rarely hear from the guy ever, I guess to match the sample-esque murky backing vocals from Lojay. It’s not a bad groove either, but it honestly kind of disappoints me that he didn’t go full-out with the classic Chris Brown approach, even if he does do some obnoxious “na-na-na”s and those staccato harmonies as usual. It doesn’t help that this song doesn’t have a good hook, despite Sean Kingston being behind the writing of all people. There’s just nothing catchy about this song, which seems to focus much more on atmosphere… which makes no sense! It’s a club dance song where the girl’s body is described as sensational, where’s the sensation? Davido tries, bless him, but as a result of the song’s misplaced “coolness” pretence, he just sounds out of place. And Lojay’s verse is embarrassing - “booty wider than the Internet”? Really? Sigh, given it’s Chris Brown, it could be a lot worse.

#57 - “IT GIRL” - Aliyah’s Interlude

Produced by Lxnely Beats

It’s been a while since we got a straight-up TikTok viral song, it feels, but rising star Aliyah’s Interlude - what made you go with that name? - seems to have cultivated a pretty loyal fanbase and specific terminology, some of which is mentioned in the song, already so this could either be the start of a big deal or a complete meme fluke. And God, I hope this is a fluke because this is insufferable. It’s not even insufferable in a moral or boring way, it’s just annoying. The Eurodance throwback synth is obnoxious, the plodding percussion is lazy, and whilst Aliyah’s Interlude herself is clearly full of passion and character, it is actually to the detriment of an already minimal, annoying song. It seems the intent was either to be primal or overwhelming, but that synth is so distracting that I can’t fully understand the cult of personality with borderline comedy-rap verses and an admittedly very good use of spelling out the title in chorus. I believe that this is what one could claim as “slaying”, and I kind of get it, but it’s just too much of a stressful listen for me. That synth, it just never stops. I’m sure Aliyah’s Interlude would shine on more polished production as her performance here is close to salvaging something but that may come years down the line. For now, God, please don’t make this a hit.

#55 - “DANCE WITH ME” - blink-182

Produced by Travis Barker

This is such a dry week that I could aptly describe it as being victim to a blink-182 album bomb, or at least as much as the UK Singles Chart will allow. At least they debuted some songs from their #2 album ONE MORE TIME… unlike the Rolling Stones at #1. Anyway, this was a pre-release single only charting now thanks to the album, and it has a music video that mimics that of the Ramones’ “I Wanna be Sedated”, which the track also interpolates. The 1978 track was never released as an A-side single in the UK so failed to chart, but has been set in stone as one of the classic punk outfit’s most iconic songs. I assume that as a result we have a pretty straightforward punk throwback from blink, and for the most part we do, but it’s not really a good one. I love Travis Barker’s cavernous drumming and production of course, and it will always will give a certain base level of quality to these songs, but blink aren’t doing anything new here, or doing something they’ve already done particularly well. There’s a weird bitter venom in Tom DeLonge’s delivery and an apathetic disinterest in Mark Hoppus’ voice that both miss the mark for a song about dancing - or masturbating, if the awkward intro is to be believed - all night long. The chorus is basic but somehow not even catchy, it’s just expected and predictable. At this point with blink, maybe that’s all we should settle for? It just sucks that I know how interesting they can be.

#48 - “ANTHEM PART 3” - blink-182

Produced by Travis Barker

This is the opening track on the record and one that follows in the footsteps of their older “Anthem” tracks, signaling their big comeback. The original “Anthem” from 1999’s Enema of the State is actually the outro to the album, and is fittingly out of fuel considering the rest of the album’s energy that this track seems desperate to grab onto, which sounds like a complaint but considering the fantastic drumming, atrocious vocal delivery and mixing, incredibly cathartic post-chorus, I’d say it sums up the aftermath of a reckless party pretty damn well. The issue here is that “Anthem” plays a lot into the idea that parents - probably a further analogy for authority in general - possess a lot of power behind what fun can actually be had, with “Anthem Part Two”, the opener of 2001’s Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, playing even further into that by basically making it a protest against how the youth are having their futures ruined by those in power who are from generations prior. It sums up pop punk’s teenage rebellion side pretty well - it’s not good, it’s formulaic and surprisingly dull, but I can understand why it is held up as the anthem it claims out the gate to be. Now here’s the real problem: blink-182 are now the parents. What do they rebel against this time around? Life, in general. Actual adult life in fact. It’s an uplifting track with rapid, awkwardly-mixed drums and a seemingly constant crescendo of guitars that merges into a muddy, gross stretch of noise under Tom DeLonge, but an uplifting track nonetheless, an anthem for people who have been played with by the nine-to-five and tedious career. The really resonant bridge from Mark Hoppus, who recently came out of his struggle with cancer, ends with a line about no-one caring for the eventuality of him dying… but it gets cut short, taken away by the chorus. This could be a pretty effective decision, if it weren’t the only part of the song that I actually liked or moved me in any way, with even the classic pop punk drop-into-half-time trick just coming off as tired. Whilst all of these “Anthem” tracks are tired, exhausted last bursts of anger, this one is tired in a particularly sad way. It’s a pathetic song, one that can’t really be called “ANTHEM”… and that’s fine. In fact, it’s slightly endearing and not even really a slight towards the song. It’s just kind of sad to hear.

#41 - “In the City” - Charli XCX and Sam Smith

Produced by A.G. Cook, Charli XCX, George Daniel, ILYA and Omer Fedi

I have no idea what either of these artists are doing career-wise at this very moment. It seems like both Charli and Sam are struggling to hold onto the balance between mass appeal and niche novelty, and Sam may be in a similar spot to where Charli was back in the mid-2010s, or at least appears to have some kind of dissatisfaction with pop stardom as a fact rather than how they viewed it when it was a promise. Basically, it makes complete sense for the two to collaborate, and it also makes complete sense that the song is… just bad. A.G. Cook is on the boards here but his style is so washed out by the pop songwriters also involved that even Charli sounds disinterested. It’s hyperpop lite, with some interesting lyrics about finding your true self after meeting a partner in New York City’s sprawling nightlife, but over some particularly dull four-on-the-floor percussion and with vocal effects - particularly on Sam Smith’s voice - that overwhelm the actual performance, making it feel programmed and somehow so professional it breaches back onto amateur, in a cyclical motion I didn’t think could even happen. I know Charli fans will defend her continuing to experiment whilst also spreading out to mainstream pop tracks but let’s be real, how far is this really from a Joel Corry song? A.G. Cook could have had nothing to do with this and it’d sound the same. Everyone here just seems tired and confused with what to do with themselves, in an awkwardly passionless single that seemingly isn’t connected to an album yet and doesn’t have a video. Sam Smith is nowhere to be seen in the cover art or even the picture used for the YouTube audio video. This is just… nothing.

#10 - “TOO MUCH” - The Kid LAROI, Jung Kook and Central Cee

Produced by Blake Slatkin, Jasper Harris, Emile Haynie and Omer Fedi

You know, this is kind of refreshing. For once, there is no discourse. It is just a simple idea that this top 10 hit by three big-name artists, including a BTS member, with a stacked production list, Scooter Braun single push is a bad song, and that’s fine. There is nothing immoral about the song’s badness, there’s nothing particularly annoying or sad about the song’s badness, there’s nothing even all that boring about the song’s badness. It’s just bad, sometimes comically, and I’m honestly okay with that. The vocal sample is filtered to crap and placed against a similarly weightless, chippy snap and ladders of gross, inhuman leads and sounds, none of which actually seem like they actually want your attention. The chorus has too much empty space punctuated by… bilingual breathing, The Kid LAROI’s verse goes for a desperate and annoying delivery which doesn’t last too long but is still overly whiny, Central Cee is in full rent-a-rapper mode and despite having a completely fine, on-beat flow, he still somehow sounds awkward with his typically toxic, sexual lyrics that don’t go too far to be immoral, just more weird and overly wordy and detailed, maybe manipulative at times. The Kid LAROI’s second attempt at a pre-chorus is actually pretty good, he sounds great, especially on the backing vocals, right before the final chorus, wherein I couldn’t tell where he ends and Jung Kook begins. In fact, Mr. Kook has jack to do in this song. The song just seems to reflect how all three of these guys are at least slightly complacent, facing slightly less favourable results than they expected commercially but still doing well enough and is a piece of apathetic male pop music no one is actually seeking out too much anymore - and apparently Justin Bieber was supposed to be on this at some point and still has a writing credit, so that rings extra true. But that’s all it reflects. It’s just bad, and if anything sums up this week of new arrivals, it’s that: just bad.

Conclusion

And yeah, that wasn’t really hyperbole in any way. I liked none of what little the charts had to offer this week. I can barely give a sincere Best of the Week and really, Chris Brown is a runner-up for the most quality song here, which is a depressing state of affairs. He’s not getting it though, at least blink-182 gave me a lot to say with “ANTHEM PART 3”. As for the worst, I mean, pick any of them but I think I’ll give to “In the City” by Charli XCX and Sam Smith for making me feel absolutely nothing, with Aliyah’s Interlude as the Dishonourable Mention with “IT GIRL” for making me feel a pounding headache. Taylor’s next and then we’re in the holiday dregs for the next two months. Thank you for reading, sorry for the delay - genuinely out of my control, complain to the Official Charts Company - and I’ll see you next week!