#AND IM GONNA MAKE IT EVERYBODY ELSES PROBLEM.

[slaughtergutz]

I keep seeing like weird mentions here and there about how Joe is stronger than Hiromi and I??????

¿??????????????????

Joe is cut, but those abs aren't for strength, they're for show. (Yes, he absolutely is strong and athletic compared to others, but,)

This is what men who train for strength look like

They aren't skinny lads.

Hiromi is a BEEFCAKE. And I don't have any good pictures of him on my phone so u get this (which is also pretty accurate for people who strength train actually)

Joe probably trains specifically for agility, but that isn't to say larger men wouldn't be able to go toe to toe with him either. He'd have an advantage for aerial tricks I'd assume and honestly I'm mostly talking out of my ass here bc I know jack shit about skating, but I've formerly trained for professional wrestling so that's what I relate it to

Hiromi seems like he's new to lifting so that'd probably be his biggest disadvantage in a hypothetical strength test with the two of em BUT HES GOT A LOT OF HEART-- he would probably pull something by lifting too much bc he wanted to impress the manager lbr

[phasewashere]

the cycle

creds; sean glatch - caffeine pt.1, mitski - i’m your man, richard silken - snow and dirty rain, nicola yoon - the sun is also a star

[br1ghtestlight]

this is so funny to me actually bcuz this is 100% how i talk abt my characters ages. i know what YEAR they were born and i know what rheir ages are supposed to be at the start of the story but i dont actually know when it takes place?? im really bad at math. There was a moment where rainbow was supposed to be 23 and i somehow accidentally made her 17 lmfao

[satoriberry]

tha terf paradox of promoting acceptance of oneself's biological nature and not changing it for societal ideologies but then turning around and criticizing any person that has a different perception of their biological nature that doesn't immediately enter the "male or female" binary hmmm,,,,

[dashiellqvverty]

so evil that i can't find a single gifset of them in this episode at least not from searching the episode number like i usually do

[kkoct-ik]

i can def relate to having an abusive mother, the worst part is that people always assume mothers to be good people. thankfully my dad and mother don't live together so i chose to stay with my dad permanently but my dad's girlfriend is constantly talking about how i should make up with my mother because "you only get one mom" and she completely ignores me when i try to talk about how abusive my mother was

yeah. ugh. sorry about your situation anon. it sucks and im sending sympathies

[karnakian]

good  afternoon  today  i  am  thinking  about  leon  going  through  the  five  stages  of  grief  throughout  lftp

screenshots  under  the  cut

denial

anger

bargaining

depression

acceptance

[cyber333angel]

rafe with a glasses kink for my glasses girlies (me) <3

mr ward cameron had asked you to tutor his son rafe about 2 months ago, hearing about you from a close friend. everyone who got help from you ended up with a good grade by the end of the year, so naturally of course ward wanted that kind of help from a girl like you. you did go to school with rafe, watching him goof off in class with his kook friends thinking their better than everybody else. he was obnoxious and you swore you could never like him but as the meetings in the library went on, you grew fond of him. every now and then he would joke around with you, pulling a giggle out of your serious demeanor loving the way your smile widened whenever you were around him.

however, on a wednesday where the two of you usually meet up at the local library you see a sign saying they would be closed today. seeing this you go to text rafe, telling him to reschedule for the upcoming saturday. you feel a rush of nerves come over you when you see the text of him inviting you to his home for the tutoring lessons, not knowing why you accepted the invitation you started to drive over to his house. walking up the steps to tannyhill your eyes stay widened, not used to seeing houses this big on the cut. you ring the door bell, backpack full of paperwork and your laptop with your braids in a bun. the door opens, seeing rafe in his typical polo shirt greet you with a bright smile, “hey teach.” you shoot him a shy grin, “hi rafe.” as you walk in he closes the door behind you gesturing to go upstairs to his room. “c’mon my rooms upstairs.” when you arrive to his room it’s oddly very tidy, his desk placed by his bed. the two seats are placed next to each other, you and him sitting side by side you fluster. you usually don’t sit so close to him but there’s not much you can do so you sit down and take out all the homework needed. about thirty minutes pass, your explaining the problems to rafe as he watches you. not paying attention at all to what your talking about. “rafe are you listening? this is very important your exam is on monday!” picking his eyes up from your lips he stares at your eyes through your lenses. eyelashes fluttering when you blink he answers, “yeah..yeah im listening. why don’t we take a break?” you stare at him and agree to take a break since you know he won’t listen to you without one. “alright fine. 10 minutes.”

୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

you don’t know how you ended up with your seat at the desk so close to rafe as he kissed you, you didn’t mind it though. his large hands riddled with rings holding your head to his as your wet tongues intertwined. your glasses kept getting in the way of you two, straining his head back preventing you from going any deeper. you suggest taking them off which was also an excuse to catch your breath for a split second. “rafe-rafe maybe i should take my glasses off..” you tell him as he plants kisses up and down your neck. “nah keep em on sweetheart..” feeling his rough fingers slide down to your thigh, giving the inside of them a tight squeeze. “you gonna let me make you feel good?” you nod shyly, taking your hands and placing them on rafes, breath hitching. “use your words for me c’mon.” pouting at him for making you ask for it to tell him, “yes rafe want you to touch me!” flashing that handsome smile at you he praises you for listening. “atta girl.” under your skirt that rafe had pulled up to your waist was the thin fabric of your panties being hooked over to the other side of your cunt. rafe whistling when he sees the arousal dripping from your pussy, “this all for me baby?” you whine at him, it’s obvious your only like this because of him. “yes s’all for your rafey please..” he slides two long fingers into your cunt curling them up into you thrusting back and forth. taking his other hand and gently grabbing your throat to kiss you deeper as the pleasure at the lower part of you grows. you feel yourself starting to climax when rafe shakes his fingers back and forth in your cunt rapidly. you gurgle in his mouth from the kissing, mind getting blurry as he fingers your bundle of nerves. “hngh..!”your eyes go half lidded as you cream on his fingers, squirming around in the chair as he tried to get the last bit of pleasure out of you. you grab rafes hand and he pulls out his fingers from your warm sopping cunt, licking the arousal from his fingers. “taste so fucking good..” as you calm down from you orgasm you see rafe still has a bulge in his pants, wanting to help him too. “rafe I wanna make you feel good too..” you paw at him through his shorts, looking at him with needy eyes. he smiles at you and holds your face, “yeah you wanna help me out pretty girl?” you nod your head slowly and he helps you up from your seat taking your hand to lead you to his bed. rafe sits on the bed letting you sit on your knees below him. you look up at him and he starts unbuckling his shorts, exposing his hard cock. gripping at it he asks you, “you ever did this before baby?” you shake your head no, only hoping to make him feel as good as he made you. “that’s alright I’ll teach you..” rafe takes your jaw and plunges his two fingers in your mouth, you gag in them and he helps you. “breathe..breath through your nose. good girl.” you slurp on his fingers, sucking on them roughly as you hold his hand. “there you go. you think your ready now?” you release your mouth from his hands with a pop answering excitedly, “yes!” and he gives you a kiss on your forehead.

as your standing up on your knees below him, rafe holds the back of your head and his cock. tapping it on your moistened lips,“open.” he says and you do as your told. your mouth forming an “O” shape just for him as he plunges his dick into your mouth making you gag, holding onto his knees as he gets you used to his length. you let him use your mouth, thrusting your head up and down on his large cock. “fuckk baby taking me so fuckin good..” slurping up all the spit around him, your mouth is a sloppy mess, echoing in his room are only the squelches from your mouth and rafes breath hitching as he starts to cum. “shit..” with his hand on your head he suddenly grips your hair, and harshly pushes in some last thrusts “fuck fuck fuck..” you choke as he hits your throat repeatedly muffling a quiet “mmph!” when he rips his cock from your mouth. spraying all over your glasses and your face as he cums. you sit there a little surprised as rafe catches his breath, seeing you covered in his mess. he leans closer to your face and examines you, “you look so fucking pretty for me baby.” he says smiling at you. rafe then picks you up from your armpits to help you stand on your feet, guiding you to the bathroom. “let’s get you cleaned up alright?” you nod as he closes the door, taking off your glasses.

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

fuck it friday

tagged by nobody but im fucking in love with this fic and making it everybody else's problem <3

“Uh, Eddie, what are you doing?” Buck asks, a sort of terror Eddie hasn’t seen often flickering across his face.

“What’s it look like?”

Buck says nothing so Eddie continues to arrange them, placing Buck’s hand on his shoulder and shyly settling his own hand on Buck’s waist, fingers pressing in to dimple the fat and muscle there. So soft and warm. He wonders what it would look and feel like under his teeth.

Once they are positioned as correctly as they are gonna get, Eddie looks at Buck head on and smiles with a bravery that he doesn’t actually feel but is desperate to exude. “I’m dancing with you,” he says because Buck still looks confused.

Buck makes some sort of choking sound.

Eddie decides to ignore it and takes a bold step forward, leaving Buck with no option other than to step back.

It’s halting and unsteady and Buck is entirely too stiff though really Eddie isn’t doing all that much better because this is a type of close he’s flirted with before, tempting himself and fate so many times as he kept their bodies so very near each other but not near enough to be too dangerous, and he’s utterly unequipped to handle it.

“Buck,” Eddie says in complaint, laughing as the last syllable exits his mouth because Buck’s mouth always needs to be said with either a smile or a laugh. Ideally both.

“You don’t have to,” Buck says as if he’s actually worried Eddie feels obligated. “That wasn’t–I wasn’t–”

“Since when do I do things I don’t want to do?”

“Uh. Pretty much all of the time, Eddie. It’s kind of a staple of your personality.”

“Okay. One, ouch. Two, point. But shut up. It’s you, okay? So I want to.”

tagging @spaceprincessem @elvensorceress @shitouttabuck @mustachediaz @queerdiazs @spagheddiediaz @devirnis @bvckandeddie @sibylsleaves @freewayshark @rewritetheending @try-set-me-on-fire @lemonzestywrites @spotsandsocks @bigfootsmom @honestlydarkprincess @exhuastedpigeon @eddiediaaz @shyaudacity @daffi-990 @transboybuckley and anyone else who wants to share!

[multimadstoner]

Wakey Wakey

Alright first one out of the vault we'll see how this goes send in some requests if youd like me to add onto this or if you have any ideas of your own!

Pairing: Eric Coulter X Pregnant! Reader

Warnings: None just fluff

Bacon. That's the first thing you smell when opening your eyes, looking around the room you fail to find your fiancé in, you proceed to get out of bed and find the amazing smell.

"Eric?" You asked walking into the kitchen and wrapping your arm around him, looking over him to see what he's making, bacon, sunny side up eggs and potatoes are what greets you.

"I was just about to come wake you up, Four's been nagging me to get down to training for an hour."

"AN HOUR???" You almost trip over your own feet while running to the shower, why he let you sleep in that long is a mystery. You quickly start pulling out your clothes for the day, setting them on the bed when Eric walks in.

"Stop worrying, it isnt good for the baby." He said while ushering you to sit down and off your scampering feet, already aching from being up too long.

Yes, your pregnant. About 6 months actually, it caught both you and Eric by surprise (as surprised you can be without using a condom) since it was soon after your engagement that you found out, but Eric put any doubt in your mind that he would leave when he started crying. Yes the Eric Coulter, feared leader who makes initiates hang off the chasm, was crying.

"I wouldn't be worrying if you woke me up a couple hours ago so we both could be on time." You said while trying to shimmy down your shorts which were becoming hard to do with your belly growing every couple weeks or so.

"You never like being woken up and with the baby coming soon, Max agreed that you shouldn't have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn like everybody else." As caring as your fiancé may be, its quite annoying when he makes decisions without telling you about them at all.

"Eric, we talked about this, just because I'm pregnant doesn't make me any special, I can wake up the same time the initiates do with no problem."

"I know baby but humor me a bit just on this, I would be this way with anybody growing a person inside them that somebody just so happens to be the love of my life'"

Curse this man and his sweet sweet words.

"Fine, but only because im starving and the bacon smells good." You said while Eric came to help you out of his hoodie you refuse to sleep without, his comforting smell helps to fall asleep when hes off on patrols or late nights with the initiates.

He may seem all hard and mean to the rest of Chicago, but in here, in your apartment of 3 years, he is a whole different man. Don't get me wrong he has a temper and swears like a sailor but you are the calm to his storm while also being the bullet to his gun, always by his side and willing to protect him even when he doesn't need it.

"I love you" ,he said walking over and kissing your head as you finally were able to strip and start getting the water turned on for your shower, turning around you wrapped your arms around his waist and lean in so that your face is hiding in his neck while saying "Love you too," you said rising up on your tippy toes to give him a sweet kiss, one that of course he tried to deepen. "Keep doing that and we'll never leave," he said while mumbling against your lips. Hesitantly you pulled away and started taking out a towel.

"I'm gonna go set up our plates go shower you smell like the initiates," he said jokingly while slapping your ass when you turned to check the temperature. "You weren't saying that last night when you made me sit on you to do push ups." You yelled while finally hopping into your shower knowing that the your big tattooed brute was outside ready to protect you and your baby.

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF THESE MFS, HALF OF WHO DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT CURSED CHILD, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT AN ANGSTY TEEN DARING TO BE AN ANGSTY TEEN, I WILL FIGHT THE LOT OF YOU

(this is gonna be a bit long and probably incoherent so sit down and fucking listen to me 🔫 stick with me because I'm not just complaining about albus haters)

eVERYBODY wants cOoMmpllEeXx relatable HUMAN characters - and then SHIT themselves when the flaws a CHILD has isn't just 🥺 uwu im socially awkward and traumatised 🥺. that's why scorpius doesn't get this fuckass treatment, because his terrible human flaw is that he's a bit shit at conversation and gets sad about his dead mum (generalised understatement, but this post isnt about him. dont come for me i love him 🫶🏻)

god forbid albus, who feels unloved and unwanted (with valid evidence for a teenager), albus who feels completely out of place and outcast from his entire famously-close-knit family, ablus who is well known by the world by default via Harry and hates the attention and high expectations, albus who then gets targeted and bullied by his peers because he's not as perfect and brilliant as his father, albus who is then isolated from his one friend because Harry is making irrational ptsd fueled decisions, albus who tells Harry completely sincerely that he knows he's unlikeable but he'll try and change himself and be more like his siblings because he genuinely believes that's what Harry and everyone else whos had the misfortune of meeting him wants, albus who spends the entire play trying to prove himself and fix things via idiotic childish decisions BECAUSE HES A WHOLE UNSTABLE CHILD

god forbid that CHILD doesn't react like a patient, supported, well adjusted, level headed adult. god forbid he reacts outwardly. god forbid he reacts at all, my bad. clearly he should just sniffle a bit as if he doesn't feel suffocated and helpless by everything in his life, because obviously hes just a spoiled brat who doesn't know what real suffering is. god forbid he complains or feels anything negatively, or doesn't quite grasp that other people are struggling too because he is too busy trying so hard to deal with himself and his declining mental health the best he can with basically no support or understanding. god forbid he isn't completely perfect.

you all sound like some fucking boomer telling teenagers they don't know what real struggling is, they aren't mentally ill, they dont have any problems because they have a roof over their head, they should all go to war kids are too soft these days 😫😖😱 fUCKING‼️SHUT UP‼️

he does things wrong but he knows he does and he does everything he can to fix it! and he is fourteen!!! do none of you remember what being fourteen is like 😭😭 I swear half of you have got to be basically fourteen yourselves cmon man

cause I'm seeing this fucking pattern a lot recently. not just for albus, not just in this fandom, everywhere. ‼️ no one can fucking handle flawed characters anymore ‼️ the only thing any character is allowed to have wrong with them is trauma apparently, otherwise they have to be perfect, and I'm getting sick of it. characters and stories are meant to reflect real life, they're meant to help shape our world view, why are you expecting everyone to be fucking perfect??? what happened to nuance? what happened to understanding character development? you are all acting like characters and people are so black and white. either they're perfect or they're insufferable and evil. I won't lie, the most common victims i've noticed of this are women. but the flawed women are typically demonised, whereas the men are typically turned into uwu baby boys who actually aren't capable of doing anything wrong and then fanon goes nuts making them into ittle wittle victims. and I'm so fucking sick of all of it, I hate this. (obviously this is not a strict rule. Albus Potter, and also Albus Dumbledore now I mention it, are demonised beyond belief)

BRING BACK FLAWS AND BRING BACK NOT COMPLETELY WRITING OFF A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DARE TO BE HUMAN

I AM FED UP, ALBUS POTTER GET BEHIND ME

[one-and-a-half-yikes]

IM fandom got me actin up cause I wasn't even gonna say anything about this chapter lmao

So let's tall about it

Chapter 349: Imperfect Parents

It is not lost on me in the slightest that we're using plural nouns in this title instead of just referring to one parent. I can't imagine why.

Okay so, I'm fully understanding of why people are upset with this chapter and I get that we were so close to a good ending for the boys but-

Canola is right.

I'm not sorry she absolutely is right about this and we gotta address it now. Putting this on the record here and not just on the discord where I already went over all of this.

Let's start with the beginning.

Canola makes it clear that no minor should be in Felix's care, and upon inquiring we are given a very clear reason as to why.

And she is correct. When the Labyrinth chapters were dropping I need it to be made clear I had no patience for any of the Questers' actions regarding this scene. Every last one of them knew damn well Boris shouldn't have gone in there and they still let him regardless. The fact that Cuphead was the only one who had his wits about him enough to say no is embarrassing because when the fuck did he become the reasonable one amongst the group? Why were Leticia and Cuphead the ONLY ADULTS WHO REALIZED THAT BORIS WAS A CHILD

Everyone knew about the children going missing in Fairmont. Everyone knew how dangerous this was but because Boris didn't look like he was traumatized by the other previous quests everyone decided that he was mature enough to handle this quest. The problem lies in the fact that the Questers treat Boris like he's 25 when he's only 14. Not only that, but unlike everyone else who was going into the Labyrinth Boris was DEFENSELESS. He didn't have any real means of saving himself, and given what was in the Labyrinth? Do y'all really think a pipe was going to save his ass? The only reason why Boris lived was because Sarah used him to escape Fairmont, that's it. Otherwise he very well could have fucking died in there and then guess whose fucking fault THAT would have been

In the context of this particular conversation it doesn't matter that Canola doesn't have the full context because she doesn't need it. I said this on the discord and I'll say it again here. Every excuse and reason that people are giving for why things happened the way they did is a NAIL in Felix's coffin preventing him from adopting Boris, not a boon in his favor. These are grown ass adults, they do not need protection from their stupidity and negligence. Because let it be understood, when Canola says "Felix's isn't equipped to care for any minor" she means because of this very reason. Because what the Questers did here was negligence and child endangerment, plain and simple.

If Felix is genuinely serious about adopting Boris he needs to understand that simply listing all the problems he has isn't good enough. You're not being graded for a damn test here, no one cares about your impassioned speech about how much you love and care for those boys after everything they've gone through; it's a nice sentiment, but absolutely meaningless in the grand scheme of the conversation he's having with Canola.

Fundamentally what a social worker like Canola is asking of Felix is: with the behavioral issues and trauma this child has, can you really look after them and give them the proper care they need? Can you guarantee them a safe environment to heal and process their trauma? Can you put your foot down and reprimand Boris when he's out of line?

All of these are necessary questions to ask and all of these questions Felix has failed even before the idea of adoption occurred to him.

Things are not going to get better unless a change is made in the dynamic of the quest group. Everybody, not just Felix, has to stop treating Boris like he's an adult and recognize him for the traumatized child he is. And that means putting their foot down and Boris actually experiencing repercussions for things he does without adult guidance and supervision. Something he dearly needed during the TalentTown arc and was denied by everyone in the group who turned a blind eye to it, not because the don't care about him, but because none of them are truly equipped to deal with a child.

I don't think all hope is lost for Boris to be clear, but I am saying a change absolutely needs to happen in the group and soon if they don't want Boris getting separated. If they care, they'll do it without hesitation.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Okay dude, not cool. I don't appreciate being called a problem when I'm trying my best to make this work for everybody. But my point is that some people will always complain. If you are happy with the tagging, I guarantee there will be somebody else who is pissed at the same tags. And why? Because it's a grey area, especially in those fics where the love interest shifts from Tommy to Eddie.

Who is to tell at which point you should tag which ship? In your scenario it's pretty obvious I won't argue that. But that isn't always the case. So you as writer got to make a decision. Tag it Buddie and the BT stans will flip. Tag it Bucktommy and the Buddie stans get mad. There's no winning. Tag both? That might work if it's a clear 50-50 between the pairings.

And that's not even taking my intentions as the writer into consideration. I have a clear vision in my head while writing, but to get there we might need some Bucktommy. Is it enough to warrant it's own tag? It's a grey area! Hence the exhaustion.

It isn’t a grey area, anon… it quite literally is tagging the fics as they are. If BT is central to the story then tag it as such— if people don’t wanna read BT then they don’t have to read it if it’s tagged. It’s not cool to mistag fics when people already have a plethora of tags filtered out and shouldn’t still be getting shit showing up.

you just agreed that in my scenario that it was obvious- so why are you still whining in my inbox? sending me anonymous messages trying to tell me what is and isn’t “exhausting” as a fic writer when i literally am one— im literally currently writing a buddie fic rn that’s centered around marisol keeping them apart… and yknow what? its gonna be tagged as an eddiesol fic bc they are together for like half the story! and yknow what else? its gonna be tagged clearly that eddiesol isn’t endgame! so that way, if people don’t wanna read it bc they either wanna read eddiesol or bc they wanna read buddie then they can filter out the tags respectively or they can scroll past it! but what im not going to do is tag it as “minor eddiesol” and then spend over half the fic w them together because that’s not accurate tagging.

If a fic is tagged “bt”, then as a buddie stan im not gonna read it— most buddie stans ive seen getting upset about fics in this situation are mad bc of the absence of a bt tag when there should be one. That’s the crux of this issue. No one is upset about the bt tag being there in a buddie fic if bt is a central part of the story (like i literally said in my response to your previous message), we’re upset about the absence of tags/or using tags that don’t accurately describe the fic at hand.

i have never seen a “grey area” of people getting upset about something being tagged when it’s correct— everyone i’ve seen are upset over the fact that there are fics tagged as buddie, and not bt when they are clearly bt fics and vice versa.

you say that if you’re writing a buddie fic and it needs bt to get there does it warrant a tag? yes it does bc that ship is part of the story! and unless it actually plays a minor role, then don’t tag it as “minor.”

This “grey area” you’re talking about doesn’t exist in the way you are trying to paint it out. People don’t wanna click on a fic that has content that isn’t tagged, that’s not fair to the reader.

as far as my response being “not cool” for pointing something out the way i see it… you opened yourself up to be responded to the moment you sent me an anonymous message trying to make excuses for not tagging fics correctly.

please block me if you’re going to keep pushing this argument; i am not going to keep responding to you.

and if you need further proof of people disagreeing with your argument, might i suggest looking at these responses to my posts on the matter: people on both sides of the “ship war” agreeing with my point (names and pfp’s have been redacted for privacy reasons)

[hikarry]

There should be more Good Omens x Supernatural crossovers

Fanart, fanfics, idc

Just

Castiel and Aziraphale's relationship would be fucking bomb! Hell, even Sam and Aziraphale's! They could be fucking nerds together

And don't get me stared on Crowley and Dean's dynamic! I just know they would absolutely annoy the fuck out of each other but become fast friends that just, ya know, thrive over fucking roasting each other but they would geek out over the other's car and music together. Just 🤌🏻 Crowley taking the shit out of Dean for him not only being American, but from bloody Texas of all places and Dean making a fake atupid British accent to annoy the shit out of Crowley because

Dean: "Look at me. Im a stupid demon that of all places in the world chose to become a fucking honorary Brit. How I love myself my stupid little tea at noon and pretend like I'm better than everybody else"

Crowley; "Listen here, you bloody Yankee, first off, tea is not my thing. Good whiskey, me. And I'm not bloody British! I'm a demon!"

Dean: "You sure act like one, posh bastard"

Crowley; "Posh? It's called having bloody manners! You fucking Americans must have lost them when you killed all the bloody natives and then came up with a stupid arse of a holiday to pretend you are the good guys"

Dean: "Says the Brit. Just the guys that enslaved half of the world and killed the other half."

Crowley: "I am not fucking British!"

Aziraphale: "He's right, Dean, dear. Technically we are not British. We don't have any nationality. We can speak every language and are nationless. Besides, we weren't involved with Britain's colonization. Actually, I believe Crowley spent most of his time in Iceland back in that century."

Crowley: "Oh yeah. We can speak every language but French, eh?"

Aziraphale: "We don't talk about that."

Castiel: "What's the problem with French?"

Crowley: "The problem is Aziraphale is absolute shit at it. It almost got him discorporated back in the French Revolution. Heavens, he can barely order a crepe when we go to Paris."

Castiel: "Why? It's in our nature to speak every language"

Aziraphale: "Oh for the love of all that's holy....I just decided to learn it the hard way, yes? Thought it might be fun."

Crowley: "Yeah. Just like the magic lessons you took. Which you are also shit at, by the way."

Sam: "Can't you like, do real magic?"

Crowley: "Precisely. But angel over here decided human magic was fun."

Aziraphale: "And I am correct! It's not my fault you are a cinic!"

Crowley: "You mean realistic. Every time I've seen you try to perform magic it's an absolute disaster. Embarrassing even."

Aziraphale: "Ah yes? What about my photo trick back in the 40s? Saved us, did it not?"

Crowley: "You did good there, yes. But, fucking Heavens angel-"

Dean: "Okay whatever. Let the fucking Brits have their little fight. We have work to do. Sammy, did you manage to locate the demon?"

Sam: "Actually, Aziraphale did."

Aziraphale: "It was quite easy, really. Crowley and I have dealt with them before"

Crowley: "You mean I saved your arse from them before"

Dean: "Oh for fucks sake, just let's go. Sammy, Cas, cmon."

Aziraphale: "Are you sure you don't want us to go? We could help."

Dean: "No. You both stay. Make up and makeout or whatever it is you do in your free time. We don't need you in the way"

Crowley: "Aziraphale, let's go. We gonna try and find some decent restaurant in this bloody city. Let them screw themselves. They will come begging for help before you know it"

Dean: "We've been dealing with demons for years, you pretentious fuck. We dunnot need your fucking help."

Crowley: "We've been alive for all the existence of humanity and have saved the world twice now."

Dean: "Big thing. We do that every other week. Open your mouth when you fight fucking God and then we will talk."

Sam: "Okay, okay, enough. You two go and do whatever it is that you want to do. We will reach out if we need help."

Aziraphale: "Jolly good. Come on, my dear. I've seen an amazing sushi restaurant down the street that looks decent enough."

[pupkashi]

karaoke

in which drunk you decided to love on genma (much to a certain jonins dismay)

a/n: hi hi friends ! thank u sm for this amazing request !! this was so fun to write hehe also combined it with this prompt ! hope you guys enjoy !!! <33

wordcount: 3,117

masterlist

warnings: mentions of alcohol, sort of modern au? mentions of taking selfies and videos, mentions of vomit and throwing up

“it’ll be so much fun please kakashi!” Asuma and Gai pleaded with their much more stoic friend.

“i don’t see why i should go out when i can be in bed early instead” he scoffed, continuing to walk with his eyes glued to his book.

“y/n will be there” gai smiled, grinning widely as he watched his beloved rival stop in his tracks, finally peeling his eyes from his book and looking at the pair.

“okay?” he’s trying his best to act like he doesn’t care much, surely they can’t tell he has a thing for you. “that doesn’t change anything” he looks down at his book, not processing a single word.

“guess they’ll spend the night talking with genma then” asuma shrugs, “let’s go Gai, i don’t think we’re gonna convince him tonight” Gai only sighs, the two giggle to each other as soon as they’re out of earshot of their silver haired friend.

“it doesn’t matter” kakashi mumbles to himself over and over again, ‘they can’t manipulate me like this, im better than that’ he assures himself, taking his usual ninja gear off and heading into the shower. he’s picking out a plain long sleeve and some pants to wear and heading out the door to the karaoke spot he knew they’d be at, ‘im doing this because i want to spend time with friends, that’s all’ he tells himself, knowing damn well he’s lying.

“kakashi! glad you could make it” Gai is smiling, embracing the much less affectionate shinobi and dragging him by the arm into the room they rented out, “the first round of shots have been ordered so i hope you’re ready to drink” he grinned widely.

kakashi’s scanning the room, waving hello to everybody, his heart dropping a bit when he noticed you weren’t even there. it’s 10 minutes later and two terribly sung songs by genma and asuma when he’s about to leave, the door opening stops him from getting up.

“sorry I’m late! i got home and then there was this problem with my sink and then i had to take my dog out and he ended up getting out and- anyway!” you sigh with a smile, hugging everybody and saying hello.

“kakashi! hi” you smile, holding your hand out for him to shake, gai had told you how he didn’t really like physical affection.

“hi” he replied, glad his mask covered the blush creeping onto his cheeks.

“looks like every seats taken, can i sit here?” you point to the open seat next to him, he nods, scooting over to give you a bit more room on the couch. “thank you,” you reply, about to say something else when you’re interrupted by genma and kurenai.

“y/n! you missed the first round of shots you’ve gotta drink double now!” Kurenai smiles widely, you’re about to protest when genma settles in between kakashi and you, already placing the shot in your hand, another in his before counting down.

“ready? cheers!” he smiles, the two of you throwing the shot back, genma hissing and groaning at the bitter taste as you place the two empty glasses down.

“alright champ no need to make a scene” you laugh, watching as genma chases the shot with some water.

“you have another one left! don’t think i forgot” he smiled, handing you another glass, you only looked at kakashi, saying a small ‘cheers’ before downing the shot.

kakashi smiled as your face scrunches up, sticking your tongue out a bit. genma’s face is already dusted pink, he’s getting up quickly, saying something along the lines of ‘round three’ but the room is filled with kurenai and anko’s terrible rendition of their favorite shows opening theme so you couldn’t be too sure.

“I’m surprised you came,” you spoke to kakashi, noticing how closed off he’d been the entire time, “a good surprised” you add on.

kakashi smiled lightly, “Gai and Asuma talked me into it” he chuckled, watching his friends grab handfuls of shot glasses and running towards your direction.

“kakashi! you’re such a heavy weight you have to take all these shots okay!” Asuma is smiling, shoving them towards his friend, you’re covering your mouth and stifling your laughter, feeling the effects of the two shots from earlier.

“y/n! take one with kakashi!” Gai shouts, the shot in his hand quickly finding its way to you.

“what do ya say copy ninja? wanna take some shots together?” there’s a small glint in your eye and kakashi can’t say no, he’s shrugging and grabbing the small glass.

“what the hell” he mumbles, the two of you clinking glasses before downing the shot.

“how the fuck do you manage to pull your mask up and down so quickly” you giggle, genuinely puzzled at the speed of the jonin.

“i actually-”

“y/n singing time!” Genma stops kakashi from continuing, grabbing your arm and pulling you to the microphones

“sorry!” you call out, not realizing how tipsy you were until you stood up and had to keep up with genma’s much larger strides.

“what song should we do? let’s do a love song!” genma giggles, the two of you taking yet another shot before the song begins playing.

kakashi is watching you intently, not bothering to hide the smile on his lips, it was hidden behind his mask anyway. the smile on his lips almost immediately drops when genma is grabbing you by the waist, holding you close to him during the bridge, causing you to giggle into the mic and miss your next line in the song.

he stopped paying attention after that, taking another shot and acting like he was part of the conversation Gai was having with the other ninjas around him.

“okay guys we have to take a selfie!” your voice pulls him away from staring at the all too interesting carpet, your face is flushed as you pull your phone out, smoothing your hair out a bit before standing closer to kakashi.

“everyone say cheese!” you burst into giggles as everyone drunkenly sings ‘cheeeeese’ for the camera, taking multiple before sitting on the couch, closer to kakashi than before.

“kakashi! hi!” you’re smiling widely at him and he’s returning the favor, waving at you.

“oh my god we have no pictures together! we need a selfie right now!” you giggle, scooting closer and snapping a couple pictures with him.

“gosh you always look so good, did you know that?” kakashi’s heart is thumping hard in his ears, his face is burning and it’s not because of the alcohol.

“you do too” is all he can manage out before genma once again sits next to you, easily draping his arm over your shoulders.

“hey sweet thing what are you doing here?” he smiles, you giggle at his antics, letting yourself melt into his side, your hand rest on his chest.

“long day at the office, and you Mr. Genma?” you tease and he sighs dramatically, “looking for love, could you be the one for me?” he’s looking at you a little too sweetly for kakashi’s liking.

the silver haired jonin is clenching his fist around the glass cup of water, his jaw clenched and he’s certain another second of whatever is happening next to him will drive him to insanity.

you were clueless that the man you’d been pining for was seconds away from prying you from genma. your head rested on his chest, making small talk with your friend and giggling at every other thing, laughing loudly at his jokes and smacking his chest.

Gai is the first to notice kakashi’s sudden surge in jealousy, coughing and ‘accidentally’ spilling his water on genma’s thigh.

“sorry! here let’s go get some towels to dry it” Gai smiled kindly, and soon enough your cuddle buddy was gone, leaving you and kakashi on the couch alone.

“are you two like,” kakashi pauses, “are you like a thing?” he’s clearing his throat after he speaks, sitting a bit straighter while your intoxicated brain processes his words.

“me and genma? no! we’re friends, i think he has a thing for someone else though” you nod along to your own words, “no yeah I’m single” a slight pause, “looking” you say, trying to shut yourself up before you reveal more than you want to.

“oh that’s good” kakashi doesn’t want to admit how relieved he felt, like the weight on his shoulders had been lifted.

but then he felt an actual weight on his shoulders, not a metaphorical one. he’s frozen in place as your head balanced on his broad shoulders, giggling as you mumbled something he couldn’t hear.

“what?” he asked, leaning down a bit, “the rooms going so fast” you slurred, blinking before narrowing your eyes.

kakashi frowned, eyes widening as your head rolled off his shoulder, he caught you quickly, letting you settle your head on his chest, his arm wrapped around you.

“is this okay?” he asked, holding you steady as you nodded, “more than okay” you giggled, you were looking up at him as he nervously smiled, a bit tense from the sudden proximity.

“y’can relax kashi” you mumble, giggling at the nickname, your eyes suddenly going wide, “wait Gai said you don’t like physical affection, i can get off if you want” you mumble, making a move to sit up and away from the copy ninja.

“no no it’s okay” he smiles, holding you a bit tighter, “i like it if it’s you” you’re blushing and giggling at his words, twirling the small bunch of hair at the nape of his neck.

“you look real good with your hair down like this” you smile, fighting the urge to kiss the man you were cuddling with.

“maybe i should wear it like this more often if it means having you this close.” kakashi doesn’t know where this confidence is coming from, maybe it’s because part of him hopes you’d forget in the morning, but he also hopes you don’t. maybe it’s the couple shots he took that got him buzzed, giving him the courage to finally make a move.

“aw how come you’re cuddling with him now!” Genmas voice causes you to slowly move your head, the room still spinning as you see him stumbling and sitting on the couch next to you.

“i like cuddling with him! he’s great at it” you giggle, letting you head rest on kakashi’s chest again, your eyes fluttering closed.

genma can’t help but pout, mumbling something about how he knew this day would come.

it wasn’t long before everyone started saying their goodbyes, the ninjas going off in pairs of more drunk and least drunk to guide each other home, everyone making sure they’d text the group chat saying they got home safe and sound.

“you got ‘em?” asuma asked kakashi, who carried you in his arms, already dozed off.

“yeah I’ll be fine, what about you?” kakashi smiled as asuma struggled to keep Kurenai upright as she mumbled something about kissing him.

“think i can manage” he laughed, waving goodbye and thanking his friend for coming out.

it wasn’t for another couple minutes of walking that he realized he had no idea where you lived. you must’ve sensed his panic in your sleep because moments later you stirred awake, rubbing your eyes before smiling at the jonin.

“carrying me home like a real gentleman, are you?” kakashi blushed furiously, chuckling before letting you down gently.

“you sure you can walk?” he asked, keeping a hand on the small of your back to keep you steady.

“think so” you mumbled, walking a bit and stumbling, kakashi tightening his grip on your waist to keep you from falling over.

“is there a trash can around here?” you asked, panic filling your body before running as best you could and throwing up in the metal bin next to the bench.

kakashi rubbed your back, holding your hair and helping you sit and compose yourself.

“god this is not the impression i wanted to give you” you chuckled, kakashi furrowed his brows.

“what do you mean?” he asked, he felt a bit guilty asking, knowing you were more likely to tell him right now than if you were stone cold sober.

“i mean you’re this super cool, attractive jonin that I’ve been pining over for god knows how long and the chance i get to make you think i deserve your affection or some shit i go and get drunk and-” you motion to yourself, “this” you sigh, your eyes screwing shut as you become mor sober by the second.

the world is still spinning, you feel a second round of vomit coming up and the reality of your situation is hitting you like a ton of bricks.

“you don’t need to earn my affection, not now and not ever” he replies without missing a beat, he wants to look you in the eyes, but quickly abandons that idea as you hunch over and throw up again.

“you’re okay, I’m right here” he mumbles, rubbing your back as you continue to expel any contents in your stomach, groaning as you finally finish and sit back up, wiping your mouth with the bottom of your shirt.

“sorry” you mumble, kakashi shakes his head, “nothing to apologize for” he smiles, helping you up and letting you lead the way to your home.

when you finally get home you invite him in, partly for his peace of mind so he knows you aren’t gonna choke on your throw up. his racing mind stops when he sees you in your plaid pajama pants and shirt double your size, your teeth brushed and hair up.

“thank you for everything tonight” your words still slurred a bit as you hug him goodbye, “I’ll see you tomorrow?” he nods as he says goodbye, pausing for a second before turning around. his fingers are itching to pull his mask down, to place a kiss to your cheek.

maybe it’s because he knows you’re the one for him, maybe it’s because he’s always been head over heels for you since the moment he saw you. he doesn’t know what takes over him.

he’s pulling his mask down and placing a chaste kiss on your cheek, you hadn’t processed what happened, much less seen his face as he’s waving goodbye and walking out the door, “goodnight y/n,” his eyes crinkling as he speaks.

when you wake up the next morning you’re wishing the world would open up and swallow you whole. not only did you confess your feelings but you went and embarrassed yourself in front of him, that paired with the insane headache you had was enough for you to cover your entire body with your blanket, too afraid to check your messages.

if it weren’t for the knock on the door you probably would’ve fallen asleep again. with a sigh you’re making your way to the front door, assuming it was genma or another one of your friends you swing the door open, your hair still a mess and toothpaste in the corner of your mouth.

“hi” kakashi smiles, almost glowing from how perfect he looked, your eyes are wide as you realize the state that you’re in.

“kakashi! oh my god hi!” you move to the side to allow him in. “god you have to stop finding me at my worst moments i swear I’m better than this” you laugh softly, kakashi grins at you as you wipe your face and try to fix your hair.

“i brought some soup, i make it for Gai when he’s hungover, figured you might need it” you’re thanking whatever gods there were because you absolutely needed this.

“you didn’t have to” you smile, thanking him for the food and setting it on the counter.

it’s quiet for a second, the two of you just standing in silence before he speaks up, “do you remember anything? from last night?” you can hear the nervousness in his voice, it’s strange to hear that from him.

“yeah” you mumble, “but we can pretend like i never said anything and move on” you smile tightly, already feeling your hands growing cold and your heart breaking a bit.

“no!” Kakashi is quick to stop you, realizing how loud he’d been he apologizes softly before continuing, “i don’t want to just forget it” he mumbles, picking at his fingernails before looking at you.

“i like you, i think you’re amazing and seeing you all touchy with genma made me face my feelings for you” he breathed out quickly, “if you’d like to, I’d wanna give this a chance.”

his dark eyes are darting to your face, reading your expression as you look back at him. his silver hair is falling over his forehead, tickling his lashes a bit when he blinks.

a smile breaks onto your face after he finishes speaking, nodding your head before you can even say anything, “I’d love to” you reply, giggling and taking an tentative step towards the skilled jonin.

kakashi wastes no time in closing the space between you two, his hand finding his way to the back of you neck, his other one snaking around you waist and pulling you so that you’re chest to chest.

“is this okay?” he whispers, you nod, “more than okay” you smile, your eyes fluttering shut as your lips crashed onto his, moving together in sync.

when you both pull away you’re flustered messes, giggling when you make eye contact with him and he’s clearing his throat as you look at him again.

“the soups gonna get cold” he says, breaking the silence and causing the two of you to smile at each other and laugh.

“you wanna stay and eat together?” you ask, kakashi smiles, “wish i could, but I’ve got some horrible genin I was supposed to meet an hour ago” he smiles nervously and you gasp.

“oh my god i didn’t know you had to be somewhere sorry!” you apologize, he’s waving his hands infront of him.

“no no it’s fine, they don’t care much anyway” he smiles, taking a step closer to you and placing a kiss on your cheek before heading for the door. “would you wanna get dinner? around 6?” his voice wavers a bit and you’re smiling widely at him.

“sounds like a date” you reply, biting you lip as you wave goodbye to him.

the two of you were smiling like idiots, kakashi didn’t mind naruto and sakura’s scolding, waving them off and doing some light training, his only thought was you.

karaoke was fun, maybe he should’ve listened to his friends earlier, he thinks. maybe it’s a good thing you were a clingy affectionate drunk, especially when it’s him your clinging to.

[shreddeddescent]

Oh don't apologize about writing this, we are literally reading it too! I find the story interesting and like, yeah it is fucked up, but I'm having fun reading it too 💪💪💪

Also, how does Mikey feel about all this? I was thinking about that because he likes to deny the has 'adult problems' like you said, so I am really wondering about how he's dealing with all that is happening

🌠👾

ughhhh god...... the mikey can of worms about this specifically is exactly what that was about and whats been really tough to talk about. like this specific scene was what i had to get up and walk away from cuz it was painful.

he's not okay. he also doesnt care about it, cuz hes like... ugh you know what. i think i should actually just share this whole thing i wrote about it. this one is rough. nothing graphic, but if you wanna see how fucking not okay this kid is despite how much he's pretending he can be? yeah. hes gonna talk about his bullshit for the first time ever, and something bad had happened to mikey before. and he doesnt even know what.

which is like where i think the whole climax of this arch is going in my head. i havent written it all out yet. im being tugged along on a journey, yknow.

warnings for csa and incest and like. very poor coping mechanisms. all of it this one hurt me personally the most in the end.

theres some implications of things going on in the background, cuz at this exact moment none of the characters have been coping well hence the fucking.... need for these adults. raph needed to be alone to spiral about the 3 kids by himself, leo needed to be put to bed (by mikey) cuz he got way too high after realizing how much he'd been personally juggling everybody else, and donnie wont mind his buisness about anything, mikey had a go at him about it which resulted in him trying to help mikey with his current 'im having traumatic sex dreams' problem. but donnie is the same age and wasnt gonna be able to help much.

if any of it sounds confusing im sorry. id try and do a whole. fic thing about it but i really dont know if i can. whats important here is the mikey part. cuz this is where it all came to a head.

also mentions of lita, whos raph's little alter. the one that was only ever around for shredder. until recently

--

Mikey was glad that Donnie seemed better when he left the bathroom. He seemed to have been spiralling about whatever was going on between Leo and Raph.

He was pretty sure the idea of sex repulsed his twin, despite his attempts to explain it to him. He was a good brother. But it really wasn’t worth worrying about if Raph and Leo needed to be away from each other. It was weird he cared.

Donnie cared about too many fucking things.

Mikey had spent an extra long time in the bathroom, thinking over if he felt any attraction like Donnie said. He’d thought about exploring his body, but the idea reminded him of Raph. He really didn’t want it to but it did. The first time he’d seen his own penis was when it was forced into his sleeping brother.

His brother who felt like his mom.

It fucking broke something inside of him. He was trying like hell to be the baby Raph needed, to be okay for him, so he wouldn’t make Raph worse. But in the back of his mind he did know he wasn’t okay. And maybe he was just age regressing to cope. Maybe he was only getting angry at everyone cuz he couldn’t help the age regressing.

It was easy to feel like a baby when you were so malnourished as a child that you looked way younger than you should. Father had seen to that. He didn’t take care of him and then blamed Raph for his condition. And maybe he just didn’t want Raph to feel bad about it anymore.

And he had recently remembered.. something. Childhood Raph who wasn’t Raph. Raph leaving crying, coming back Lita and not crying. And… Lita apologizing for something.

The rest was a mystery. A mystery he’d thought he might be able to uncover in therapy with Big Mama, but now?! Now there was this whole… situation!

So he was just sitting with Donnie quietly, watching dumb shit on YouTube. Ignoring his feelings.

They’d seen Leo very not so subtly leave his room. He still stunk. He walked funny and airheaded, but as long as he wasn’t gonna bother Raph, who cared where he went.

…Mikey cared a little. And he was the only one who saw how much weed he’d smoked.

So after about 5 minutes he sighed and felt the need to get up and see if he could find him.

He went out in his red hoodie and some fresh sweatpants, it was night time and maybe he went outside.

He wandered the hall and felt that vertigo feeling again. He hated it, he didn't feel present. Made him think of the drugs from the cages. The drugs he’d been extra pumped full of for being good at fighting them off. That made it worse.

He rested against the wall for a moment and rubbed his eyes.

“Hey, little man.”

He blinked and looked up. It wasn’t Leo.

Jennika was there, in a loose white shirt and cargo pants. She got down into a squat in front of him and smiled.

“Are you okay?”

He felt like maybe he was standing on a fault line.

“Sorry… I’m kinda queasy…” he mumbled.

She eyed the place he was standing and gently gripped his shoulders, tugging him about 3 feet to the left.

The feeling faded and he sighed out in relief.

“Better?”

“Yeah..” he took a deep breath and stood up straight, smiling at her. “You’re…. I know who you are now.”

She stood at her full height and rubbed the back of her neck.

“Yeah… sorry I was uh… lying before. I guess I wasn’t really lying? But you know.”

He nodded slowly and smiled. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to find you. You seemed kinda.. not okay?”

Mikey laughed and shook his head. “Nah! I’m good! I’m fine, I’m just looking for Leo, he’s the one who’s not good.”

“Leo’s alright. I saw him earlier. Kirby’s kinda.. talking him down from his high I think.”

“Oh! Wow! Kirby’s talking to Leo?” He smiled up at her, that was exciting. He knew Leo seemed upset about being ignored by his…. Son. “That’s good. I think that’s good for him.”

She nodded and held out her hand. “Do you wanna walk somewhere? These walls are so… migraine city.”

Mikey looked up at her curiously and beamed. “Sure!” He took her hand and squeezed it softly.

She squeezed back and they walked to the elevator together. He noticed when she was inside there were more buttons and she pushed one.

She seemed a little shy so he tugged on her arm. She looked down at him curiously.

“Can I call you Jenny? Or is Jennika better?”

“You can call me whatever you want, I don’t mind.”

“Raph said you're trans like him. So that means you probably chose your own name, right? I mean... he didn’t. Cuz he’s.. his situation’s weird, but am I right?”

She blinked and smiled softly.

“Yeah.. I did. Is it… a cool name?”

“Yeah! So if you chose it that makes it extra important, so I wanna make sure I say it how you want it said. Jen-nick-kah. I like it!”

She took in an audibly shaky breath and looked back at the buttons.

“Th…thanks Mikey…”

He squeezed her hand.

“I uh… I don’t think you’re looking at me for like… ugh.. dad approval. But like, you seem cool.”

She smiled and laughed a little. “No, I’m definitely not, but thanks. I feel a little.. weird to be honest. But I hope we can clear the air?”

He smiled up at her genuinely and nodded. “I’d like that.”

The elevator doors opened into a lobby Mikey hadn’t seen before. They’d been portaled from the city straight into Big Mama’s office. This was an actual entrance.

And… it was a button they got blocked from pressing? He’d need to think about that later.

Jennika walked with him out of the building and Mikey came into contact with a whole other world. They were in a courtyard of sorts, a city street across from them. The sky was pitch black, because it wasn’t a sky, it was high dark cave walls that stretched beyond what he could see. There were floating crystals for street lamps lighting the streets.

The streets were full of yokai, going about their days. Shopping at storefronts of magic and mundane. It seemed busy. It seemed normal.

He stopped in his tracks and Jennika turned to look at him worriedly.

“Are you okay?”

“W-where…” He kept staring over at the street. There were weird chariots for cars, and creatures flying above his head.

This wasn’t New York City. 

She seemed to realize what was wrong and her eyes widened. “Oh! You’ve.. never been to the Hidden City. Oh shit. This was stupid Kirby’s gonna kill me.”

Mikey stumbled back into a fountain in the courtyard and sat on it. He looked behind him and he could see the exterior of the hotel for the first time.

A skyscraper that existed underground, he couldn’t even see the top because of how dark it was up there.

He rubbed his temples and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths.

“Mikey are you okay?!” She sat down beside him and put her hand on his shell.

“I… yeah.. it’s just a lot…” he didn’t open his eyes but he did lean into her. “I don’t get out much, I guess. I’d be more excited if it hadn’t been… a day.”

He might have been letting his very well crafted facade slip.

She rubbed his shell. “I just thought we could go get some ice cream and talk it out. I thought maybe the hotel was a dumb place to talk, but maybe that’s my bad… I didn’t think about how weird this would be, I’m sorry.”

He looked up at her. She looked anxious and guilty.

So he thought about what she’d just asked and blinked up at her.

“Hidden city has ice cream? Like somewhere I could try every flavour? Cuz we fit in down here?!” He asked excitedly.

Her eyes widened and she beamed. “Yeah! That’s exactly what I was tryina do!”

He jumped up and tugged her arm.

“Show me! Show me show me!”

She grinned and stood up, jogging with him down the street.

He was laughing as they ran goofily down the street. People were staring but not because they were freaks, just cuz they were having fun.

They found a storefront for ice cream and there was a many armed person at the till. Jennika boldly asked for two samples of every flavour and it earned a very annoyed look from the clerk. She slid some kind of hidden city money over with an apologetic smile to make it worth their time which cheered them up.

There was some weird flavours in there he’d never heard of. Some sounded like fruits that didn’t exist, others were weirdly goopy or fleshy in nature. One even made them breathe fire, it was fun. They had a laugh.

By the time they’d tried everything Mikey was given some kind of mix of 5 flavours in a bowl with a spoon, and Jennika got the same.

So they walked down the street eating ice cream together. Like they were normal people having a normal outing.

It was so weird how normal it felt.

She showed him a park to walk through, the trees and plants were purple instead of green which was cool.

They sat down at a bench facing a glowing green lake to sit and eat. It was peaceful. He liked it.

“So how are you?” She finally asked, scooping ice cream in her mouth.

“Kinda confused. You’re really nice and cool, but like… you’re.. you know. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel… like, I feel kinda silly? But also.. feel kinda bad?” He was squishing the ice cream together, mixing the colours absentmindedly in the bowl.

She hummed and swallowed back her current bite, placing the bowl down beside her. “I can tell you how I see it. Which is that you’re like.. a brother. Like I know where I come from, but you’re just a kid, and you’re a kid on your own and that makes me sad, and I feel like I’m standing right here in front of you with like.. I dunno, open ears. No that’s not the phrase..” she tapped her chin as she tried to think.

Mikey looked up at her curiously. “Open arms?”

She snapped her fingers and grinned down at him. “Yeah! Open arms. I know it’s weird. I'm not trying to make you feel weird, I just wanna listen if you need someone.”

He looked down at his bowl and took a small bite. He wasn’t sure how well some of this went together but he liked it all the same. A big fucked up hodgepodge of deliciousness.

“I… don’t want you to feel weird. Maybe I’m hoping we’re just gonna be a big family with ease and nobodies gonna have any problems anymore and I can just be normal and not worry anymore.”

She smiled sadly and bumped his arm with hers.

“I’d like to be a family like that, but I think it won’t be so easy. And that’s okay. I wanna put work in, we all do. I think it’s worth a try, and I’m kinda old enough that I can handle whatever you wanna throw at me.”

He glared at the lake with a tired look in his eye. “Just cuz you’re old doesn’t make you able to handle stuff. Old people never handle stuff good as far as I’ve seen. I guess that’s not fair… I just think I’ve seen my brothers get hurt over and over cuz people don’t care how they come off to us. Cuz Shredder treated us like animals, and Splinter…” he sighed. That was a whole can of worms. “She’s old, and yet she felt more emotionally stupid than everybody else. Than her own kids.”

He blinked and realized he’d been talking a bunch and looked up at her. She was just watching him with a sad look.

“Sorry. I’m fine. Thanks for the ice cream, it's good!” He put his happy voice back on and shoved more in his mouth. He thought about how much he could fit at once before swallowing so he took bigger bites. 

“I’m… sorry your mom wasn’t good to you. I’m extra sorry your dad was…” she sighed. “I guess adults really let you down a lot. I’m sorry.”

He shrugged and swallowed back his huge mouthful of ice cream. And then he felt the brain freeze and cupped his head. “Auuuugh there it is! Brain freeze!”

She hummed a laugh and rubbed his shell. “You’re trying to avoid talking. You wanna seem like a happy normal kid don’t you? You’re putting on an act.”

That hurt more than the brain freeze.

He groaned and kept holding his head as it passed, she was holding him to distract from the hurt in his brain.

“How do you know I’m acting! Maybe I’m just immature!”

“Maybe. But maybe you know you’re hurting and you don’t wanna make it my problem for some reason.”

He furrowed his brow and looked away.

“Is it cuz you think I’m like your kid? Cuz really… I really don’t see me like that Mikey…”

“No, it’s not that..” he sighed. He wasn’t sure what it was. He’d been able to talk to Donnie, he’d wanted to talk to Leo. But Jennika was actually asking him how he felt and he could only sit there thinking of ways to seem like he was a baby again. Ways to try and seem normal, like a good kid brother who makes her want to take care of him normally, so he wouldn’t scare her off, or traumatize her!

Oh…

“It’s cuz you make me think of Raph…”

She took a deep breath and nodded knowingly, sighing.

“You don’t talk to him about how you feel. You just go baby made. So you wanna do that with me too.”

“I’m sorry… I’ve got issues. People think I don’t but…” he sighed. “I don’t know..”

She patted his back. “I'm not Raph. I’m not your mom. I’m your cooool big sister! And I know you’ve got issues, I’m open, I’m here. Hit me.”

He looked up at her nervously.

“I…” he looked around. It was really empty here. He decided to lay his head in her lap. “Is this okay..?”

He felt her hand gently stroke his head. “Yeah, that’s okay..”

He took a few deep breaths. “I keep thinking about the cages… about.. what happened. I’m really embarrassed about it, and ashamed of myself… it’s stupid cuz I know it’s not my fault, but the.. specifics of what hurt me was all related to this..” he sighed and closed his eyes. “Weird relationship I have with him, where I try to let him be my mom cuz I never had one. And maybe it’s cuz he’s female and I imprinted on him as a baby, or maybe it’s just cuz I was so small and he was so worried about me.. but the… the mixing of these two things in my head, the 'mama Raph' and the fact I….” He felt tears rolling down his cheeks and he sobbed audibly. It was getting uncontrollable.

She just rubbed his head. He heard her sniff but didn’t look up. He just let her pet him and tried to collect himself.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t… know what to do, I know you’re not… but I’d never even seen my body before my dad made me use it against my will, a-and so I’m just.. b-back to baby mode, h-hoping I never grow up and have to think about it again…”

“God… Mikey I’m fucking sorry, that sounds like so much…” she was probably crying but kept petting him. He wasn’t sure how to respond now. “I… I think it sounds like you know you shouldn’t do that. That you’re like… pushing stuff down to make yourself seem okay. I think maybe you wanna be worried about normally just so you feel normal, maybe that’s why you’re acting like that…” he chanced a look up at her. She might have looked like him, but the way she was crying over him made her look like Raph. So he was crying in her lap quietly.

He looked away and clutched the fabric of her pants. “I’m.. not trying to act out… I just really don’t want these grown up problems, I-I wanna worry about stupid stuff, n-not wake up with my thing out cuz I h-had a nightmare…”

She took a deep shaky breath and blew it out slowly. “We don’t get to choose to not grow up. I know why you want to? But look at me. If I could have stayed a kid forever I probably would have. I hated puberty. Being a grown up sucks. But you can’t stop it. And you’ve gotten forced into the worst thing, but it doesn’t make you grown up, it just.. means you have to deal with something complicated. I... think ignoring that kinda problem won’t make it go away, and if you need to talk to someone about.. all that gross complicated stuff you’re scared of, I’m here. I’ve had lots of weird feelings over the years, going from like.. weapon to person, boy to girl.. you can tell me more if you want. Maybe I’ll get it.”

Mikey sat up and wiped his eyes. “I.. I haven’t even been asking about you, I’m so sorry Jennika…”

She smiled sadly and draped her arm over his shoulder, pulling him close and giving him a gentle shake. “No, it’s fine! You’re having a bad day. I wanna help with that, don’t worry about me at all.”

He looked up at her sadly, pressing his head against her chest.

“I-it’s weird.. if I’m not your dad, that probably means Raph’s not your mom right..?”

She sighed and looked at the lake. “No… he’s not. It’s kinda complicated, cuz there’s a piece of my heart that still.. I dunno, craves a mom? So that’s why I was so weird when he called me beautiful… but he’s not, he’s my brother just like you are.”

He looked over at the lake. “Is it weird that I think of him as my mom..?”

“No… Not at all, I get it. He’s been your caretaker, and he likes doing that.”

Mikey nodded slowly. “Then.. you get why its… fucking with my head that I’ll dream about the cage, and wake up like that.. why I feel sick to my stomach about it…”

“God, yeah I get that… I would be scared.”

“And I can’t cry to him about it, cuz it’s about him…”

She nodded slowly. “And that would make it worse.. yeah. I’m sorry Mikey…” she rubbed his shoulder. “Okay.. so this will be weird no matter what, but like.. you had the bird and bees talk? And any other talks about your body and stuff..?”

He looked up at her and shrugged sadly. “How much talk needed? We already made you.. think I get where babies come from…”

She looked down at him sadly and then gently rubbed his head. “Oh.. buddy that doesn’t mean you know everything. Did Splinter never…?”

He looked away. “Maybe she tried. Maybe I ran away. I don’t know, I don’t remember…”

She nodded and kept rubbing his head. “Okay. Let’s jump past babies and stuff. I think what you’re describing is like a sex dream, and it’s one you’re having cuz you got forced into it. A trauma dream, making you relive the only time you’ve ever felt arousal. You can’t control it, it's not your fault, it’s a natural response. It doesn’t mean you actually feel aroused by Raph, that you actually want him like that. It’s… ugh I’m sorry. Consent is a better place to maybe start this. Consent and body autonomy and finding a partner you trust…?” She shifted a little.

He looked up. She seemed a little frustrated that she couldn’t find the words.

He sighed and idly squeezed her knee. “I know what you’re trying to say. That I was raped. That I raped Raph but I didn’t, that he raped me but he didnt… dad raped us. Used us to rape each other. I… I know that.”

She looked down at him sadly, clearly sad about how much he was using the word. But he should be allowed to say it over and over again!

“Yeah…”

“I’m too young for sex. I don’t want a sex partner or whatever. I don’t want to have to worry about that, but I’m scared that I’m…” he keeled over and started crying out of nowhere. “I-I think maybe when I was little dad raped me too..? W-when Lita.. I-I can’t remember it… sh-she said I saw something I w-wasn’t supposed to… sh-she seemed so fucking sorry… a-and that’s all I’ve been thinking about for a week… a-and nobody cares!”

Jennika gently shook him and she was crying too. “I care! Fuck Mikey I care so much, I’m so fucking sorry!”

“E-everyone’s been tiptoeing around it! L-like around Raph! A-and maybe I wanted to go to therapy and talk about it! T-talk to Lita! Get more information! B-but there was the… th-the YOU situation! A-and he was traumatized enough! A-and now Big Mama is evil and I-I can’t!”

She took a deep shaky break and wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in her lap for a hug. He let her as he sobbed against her chest. “We don’t need her to do that. We can figure it out without her, we can find ways of dealing with it. God Mikey you’ve been so fucking… I’m sorry. Everything is so fucked up but I fucking promise you that’s my priority okay? We’re gonna help you with that.”

Mikey was clinging to her shirt and sobbing into it. He nodded miserably as he cried. “I-I’m sorry.. I-I keep forgetting t-to bring it up c-cuz I only I-learned about it when y-you were b-born! B-but that was like a week ago! A-and that’s its whole own thing! A-and I’m too fucked up t-to think about it!”

She held him tight and pressed her head against his.

“Fuck… you’ve been keeping so much in there…” She pulled back to cup his cheeks in her hands and smile determined at him, tears still freely falling down her face. He sniffled and shook as he looked back at her. “You don’t need to worry about any of this other stuff. No villains no brothers no fucking weird turtles coming back from the future. Your priority is Mikey. And so’s mine. We’re gonna figure it out. You and me. We’re gonna talk it out one step at a time together. Anything you fucking need I’m here, okay?”

He put his hands on hers, he was struggling to breathe through the crying. This wasn’t his usual crying, he felt fucking broken. His whole body hurt from how hard he was crying.

And it felt good. To fucking scream and yell and cry about how miserable he REALLY was, and to feel seen for it. To feel cared for about it.

So he shakily nodded and kept crying in her face.

She held him again. This wasn’t like how Raph would make him feel at all, this wasn’t a mom thing. This wasn’t a ‘push my feelings down and pretend you’re normal’ upset thing. This was just a sibling really fucking seeing him and letting him be as big of a wreck as he needed. Someone he wasn’t scared of making the problems worse of.

Maybe she was exactly what he needed right now.