#AND I AM ACTUALLY QUITE YOUNG

[rainbowgod666]

Oh yeah heard of that

So apparently the pro-Tetris scene is exploding right now because a 13 year old nerd just reached the game's true killscreen for the first time ever

[tinystepsforward]

ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".

like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!

on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.

returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body

literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence

[phoebehalliwell]

okay so leslie is canonically from philly. right? but if leslie, The Character, was From PHILLY, his character would have been like ten times better

[amelikos]

Thinking about the portrayal of ancestry in Horizons.

[guinevereslancelot]

unnerving to see people younger than me living their lives and doing adult stuff successfully. stop that you're supposed to eat ice cream for dinner and be unemployed

[bred-is-a-dumb-name]

I swear to God if one more person tells me "Well you look fine" during a flare up or otherwise disabling moment I might just snap. What part of invisible illness doesn't register. Do you want me to show you my fucked up organs??? Do you wanna see em??? Is that what itll take for you to admit im not healthy???? Augh.

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

“Dead. He’s dead.”

“No.” The eunuch’s voice seemed deeper. “He is here. Aegon has been shaped for rule since before he could walk. He has been trained in arms, as befits a knight to be, but that was not the end of his education. He reads and writes, he speaks several tongues, he has studied history and law and poetry. A septa has instructed him in the mysteries of the Faith since he was old enough to understand them. He has lived with fisherfolk, worked with his hands, swum in rivers and mended nets and learned to wash his own clothes at need. He can fish and cook and bind up a wound, he knows what it is like to be hungry, to be hunted, to be afraid. Tommen has been taught that kingship is his right. Aegon knows that kingship is his duty, that a king must put his people first, and live and rule for them.”

(ADWD Epilogue)

Varys’ words to Kevan Lannister about Prince Aegon are so interesting because of the overarching insinuation that the boy has had a slew of advisors and teachers who have carefully and extensively prepared him for the task of ruling. His listed examples to that point are rather peculiar, however: a knight to train him in arms, a septa to train him in the faith, and various tutors to train him in history and languages.

Now there’s nothing inherently wrong about Aegon’s educators but one has to ask, what do these people even know about actual ruling? What have they seen about the nature of ruling and the nitty gritty of it? What experience do they have? And if they themselves don’t really know what it means to rule, what does that say of their young prince’s education?

It’s an important question to ask when we consider Aegon’s narrative foil: Jon Snow. Jon does not have the expectation of ruling. In fact, as a bastard, he knows that he can never ever get a lordship let alone a crown/throne. Yet Jon has, unlike Aegon, a crew of experienced tutors who have shown him the nitty gritty of ruling. Every single one of his on-page mentors is either a ruler or a leader of men; in addition to the other tutors he had growing up.

So I wanted to take a look at Jon’s mentors and the positions they have held to contrast their experience (and thus the validity of the lessons that they give Jon) as opposed to the lack of experience in Aegon’s crew.

Ned Stark - Jon’s first and (arguably) most impactful mentor. While teaching Jon important lessons about rulership, he was serving as the Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North; thus making him one of the most powerful men in the entire realm. He then went on to serve as Hand of the King - the most powerful official save for the king. The irony is that Ned didn’t teach Jon as a successor. Robb was the one meant to succeed him. Yet Jon absorbed his lessons all the same.

Benjen Stark - we don’t actually see much on-page mentorship from Benjen, yet he still is one of Jon’s many father figures in the series. He is a a man of the Night’s Watch so he is sworn to hold no lands or titles. Yet as First Ranger, he is undoubtedly one for he highest ranking officials in the Watch and potentially a skilled warrior. He takes on the role of the knight or leader of men among Jon’s teachers.

Tyrion Lannister - despite being an ‘outsider’, Tyrion comes to hold considerable power. He is an exceedingly learned and intelligent man and managed to impart important life lessons during his short time with Jon. He rises to become Hand of the King and later Master of Coin. Though he doesn’t actively teach Jon how to rule, he’s still an important part of Jon’s character development.

Maester Aemon - one of the anomalies in this list. Yet his impact on Jon’s life cannot be understated. He is a teacher to Jon; we have various references to Jon going to Aemon for advice on how to lead. Aemon also gives Jon advice meant for kings: “kill the boy and let the man be born”. What makes Aemon an interesting addition is that he is a would-be king. And an interesting contrast between Jon and Aegon is that both parallel Aegon V; Jon more organically, Aegon rather artificially. If we remember, Aegon V was a hidden prince who ultimately became king. This is the very same trope that Jon and Prince Aegon are following. And it’s interesting that Aemon, Aegon V’s brother, gives advice on governance to Jon; the same advice given to the unlikely king. So it’s Jon who is carrying the torch of kingship from Aegon V, not Young Griff.

Jeor Mormont - one of the most direct mentors in Jon’s arc. Not only is he a surrogate father to Jon, he does what Ned never did: he directly grooms Jon to be his heir. Jon gets to watch Jeor actually govern the NW as his steward but it’s interesting that he shadows the LC through servitude. Though Jon is intended to succeed the Old Bear, he has to humble himself; he has to follow before he can lead. It’s a contrast to Aegon who would hold power over most (if not all) of his tutors.

Donal Noye - the other anomaly save for Maester Aemon. He is a humble Blacksmith. Yet he has been in the service of kings (having served the Baratheon boys who would all end up as kings). He plays an important role in bringing Jon’s ego back to earth and helping him sympathize with those less fortunate than himself. Despite his humble origins, he does briefly take command of the Wall during Mance Rayder’s attack and then transfers that command to Jon, purely because he believed in Jon’s ability to lead (and he was right).

Qhorin Halfhand - another who takes on the role of a skilled master at arms for Jon. He is an undoubtably powerful warrior. But he is also a leader of men. He teaches Jon important lessons on leadership during their time together beyond the Wall - e.g., to lead your men you must first know them. And in true ‘fridged mentor’ fashion, Qhorin dies so the young prince can take over and grow as a leader.

Mance Rayder - the King Beyond the Wall and one of the most important leaders in the books despite spending all his time in the North. Mance’s role as a mentor for Jon is doubly important given that he also takes on the role as a Rhaegar proxy. Despite Jon coming to him as an (undercover) enemy, he’s still able to impart powerful lessons on how to command an army and wrangle support from different factions of men. Jon learns a lot about diplomacy from observing and being under the KBTW. Mance is a skilled warrior, commander, and politician. A charismatic and gifted man - the picture perfect king for Jon to emulate.

Tormund Giantsbane - a leader of the freefolk who rises to become an unlikely ally for Jon. A skilled warrior and proven leader (we know that he took charge of a couple of thousand of freefolk), Tormund becomes important when there’s a transfer of power from Mance to Jon as leader of the freefolk.

Stannis Baratheon - by law, he is the rightful king of the seven kingdoms. According to prophecy, as Melisandre says, he is the promised messiah. Despite a less than ideal personality, he’s still an important part of Jon’s political arc in ADWD. Arguably a man of immense administrative potential, Stannis is also one of the most successful military commanders in the series; which is great for Jon since he also learned from Ned, who ran an undefeated streak as a battle commander.

The total count now comes to: two kings, two Hands of the King, a ruling lord, three warriors, one wise maester (who has counseled a king), and one commander. That quite a resume for Jon. All these men have some experience leading men and commanding armies, however big or small. So Jon’s preparation has been quite thorough.

What a stark contrast between the two boys, then. Varys’ words give us a roadmap of a “perfect ruler” (or as perfect as one can be) yet when we actually take the time to examine what we see in the text, Aegon is not at all suited for that role - Jon is. In fact, not a single character in ASOIAF has had the intensive preparation to rule that Jon has.

It’s beautiful irony. The prince, the one promised to rule, is actually quote underprepared for the task of it. Meanwhile the bastard, who is at best promised a life of servitude, is the one with the most preparation (and experience) for rulership. It’s the way Aegon, as a narrative foil to Jon, acts as one who validates Jon’s journey. There are certain things needed of a ruler. Jon has them, Aegon doesn’t.

Winds isn’t out yet so we don’t yet know for certain where these two boys will end up. But I’m almost sure that young Prince Aegon is doomed and though he may hold the throne for a while, he will not be the king at the end of the story. And it just might be his inexperience that ultimately dooms him. So what does that say for Jon then? Aegon can’t hold the throne as he’s unprepared for it, but what about Jon who is?

[chaiaurchaandni]

life is so complicated when u want to read something with an extremely specific vibe but can't find anything and don't have the time/skills/energy to write it yourself

like I'm so desperate to read something about people being stuck underwater/on the ocean floor for a concerning period of time and slowly losing their minds in the cold dark empty sea and battling with the fear of being completely horribly alone under the surface versus the possibility of supernatural forces existing alongside them + bonus points if there are survivors who return but when they come back they are unrecognizable and their loved ones can tell that there is something profoundly wrong or innately different (think underwater (2020) / our wives under the sea (julia armfield) / the creepy atmosphere in the cloverfield paradox (2018) where it feels like the vessel has a life of its own)

[sukugo]

me when when I when he when when

HEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[ourceliumnetwork]

dry swallowing pills is my stupidest flex. i'm not even showing off anymore i'm just impatient

[chiistarri]

chat how do u make someone txt u back...

[ajax-mew]

when i back in uni

me think

i do uni updates again

[b4ll4d33r-06]

rough around the edges, feeling the stony rough exterior you know has been smoothed down. you feel like thats how it used to be. soft, and smooth to the touch. but now its been smoothed over. as if abrasions happened to the rock. enoughto make it sharp around the edges, where one hurts others if they are pricked by the roughness. thats why in some places its smoothed over a bit more.

yes im talling ab diluc plwase leave me alone.

[mariocki]

A young Barbara Murray stars as travelling theatrical artiste Pat Dawn, getting mixed up in murder and intrigue in Mystery Junction (1951)

[falderaletcetera]

every now and then I think about trying to Do Fandom again but then I spend half an hour doing chores and thinking about, for instance, one specific episode [5.02] of Father Brown, realising that the reason the arranged marriage feels like it works in the end (other than both parties clearly choosing it) is that it isn't just the guy's younger brother who's autistic, but his bride-to-be probably is too.

the first time he shows any real interest in joan as a person, not just civility or this low key sucks for both of us so I'm gonna give you as much freedom as I can ("an heir and a spare and you can do your own thing, if you get my drift"), it's when he asks her a question about mathematics and gets her talking - not really understanding it but telling her, afterwards, he'd like to hear more about it sometime.

looking at him a bit closer, I actually like his character more than I expected. he's not a proper young man of his station, he's taken his family's reputation down a few notches through what we can assume is (tactfully put) a fondness for partying, and I'd generally expect a character like that to treat women pretty poorly, except robert seems to be better than that. then there's the toy cavalry soldier he carries as a good luck charm, a major general from his brother's toy set who shares robert's name - because it's something his brother loves, and maybe a way the two of them connect.

and robert's stuck awkwardly chatting to this woman who he's meant to marry but doesn't really know. someone who doesn't always look people in the eyes; who doesn't quite seem to know how to interact with him; who talks algorithms and graph theory and is fascinated with mazes.

this is a guy who, reading between the lines of he loves his brother and he carries around a little soldier figurine is someone who speaks "listening to you infodump" and "sharing your special interest" as love languages. and later when it looks like the engagement's not going to happen, he quietly mentions that he was just starting to like her.

I like to think that his moment walking side by side with her, listening as she talked with intelligence and real confidence, was a bit of an oh moment for him. a bit "this is someone I can relate to", a bit "this is someone I can like". and him showing respect and genuine interest, even after she stopped herself and apologised, probably helped her begin to like him too. not love for either of them, not yet, but the beginnings of something good.

and joan asking to meet his brother, getting to know him a little and asking arthur if he wants to live with them both rather than staying hidden away, brings it full circle in a pretty satisfying way.

(and that is more analysis, perhaps, than the episode calls for.)

[cicadangel]

hm i think maybe i just will not accept that i am mentally ill. no i am not i am the most normal girl in the entire world and it's actually everyone else who is crazy and they are also out to get me so actually i am better than everyone. i am so special and unique people just don't understand me because im like more highly evolved or something