#AND HAVE SINCE GONE ON A DATE WITH
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Hi, no rush or anything 😁 I was wondering if you know roughly when the next part of I found you too sequel is coming (I love the book soo much) I do know earlier you said you were suffering from writers block and I wanted you to know you shld still take your time and (although I may be one person) I love your work and what your doing is honestly amazing💞💞 (tbh it's rlly impressive writing a whole book I have so many ideas but can't even complete a whole page yet I've got it planned out so what you do is literally unreal😭❤️❤️)
I wish wish wish WISH I had a good idea of when the next part would come out but I honestly have no idea at all!!
My brain is so weird when it comes to---
*sudden realization that I forgot to take my meds this morning* one sec
ANYWAY - like I was saying: because of my ADHD writing is a very "come and go" kinda process for me. I'll have a few weeks of INTENSE motivation for a specific project and then I'll go crazy stupid working on it (which is how I wrote 30k of that fic in a 2 week span) but then in the blink of an eye that motivation is completely gone or switched to another project.
Unfortunately, unless I'm feeling that brain buzzing, vyvanse enhanced, knees weak sensation of extreme hyperfixation - I can't write a single word.
And if I do it's either a) shit or b) I hate it so much that it makes me never want to write again.
All I know is that I will FOR SURE finish the fic eventually!
The only reason I wouldn't is if I jump fandom, which I don't see happening anytime soon (especially because I'm refusing to let myself watch any new shows out of the fear that I'll latch onto something else and my AoT spark will disappear).
I have the rest of the fic planned and the majority of the next chapter already written, but I've kinda shifted my focus to my Jean/OC fic "The Letters She Wrote" since that's where I'm feeling that ADHD motivation right now. Which also explains why I haven't been as active on tumblr (the insta community is more OCxCC inclined, whereas tumblr seems to be more into xreader fics, so I'm normally more active on whichever platform my current hyperfixation project would get the most engagement).
Honestly though, asks like this really motivate me!
Like you already mentioned, I was having some really shit writer's block recently and I couldn't work on ANY of my projects, but then I made a friend on insta who started reading Letters and she was commenting on every chapter, once she caught up with the fic I was so motivated to write that I wrote almost five pages last night between clients at work.
I do write for me and for the sake of getting an idea out of my head and onto the screen, but it's also really validating to know that people enjoy and look forward to the things I work on.
As far as your comment on how you struggle to write, even when you have a plan, my biggest advice is this:
Don't start at the beginning. Start with the scene that you're the most excited for and go from there. The first scene I wrote for I Found You was the scene where Eren and MC are dancing in chapter 8 and then I worked backwards.
#wow that was a lot of words#thank you for the ask though#another reason I haven't been writing as much is just that IRL has been busy#I had to pick up a bunch of extra shifts to afford some stuff for my car#AND I had a con#laskdjflaskdjf the con alsdkjflaskdjflskadjfasdlkfj#DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE HOT LEVI COSPLAYER I MET#AND HAVE SINCE GONE ON A DATE WITH#AND NO HAVE A SECOND DATE WITH ON WEDNESDAY#AHHHHHH#GUYS I'M SO SMITTEN ALSKDJFLAKSDJF#I'M NOT EVEN A LEVI GIRLIE BUT HE WAS IN A MAID OUTFIT#A MAID OUTFIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i love pathetic men
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I'm saying this right now anyone speaking new Pokémon content into the world at tomorrow's Nintendo Direct better SHUT THE FUCK UP that IS A THREAT
I need the Pokémon company to learn that we can go a year without a Pokémon game without the franchise imploding so they'll fucking take their time with the games again so I'm going to need people to stop being like "oh maybe there'll be a Pokémon announcement that'll be nice" I AM BITING YOU I AM BITING YOU I AM BITING YOU I AM BITING YOU
we're fine! We'll live! Go play Pokerogue, it's fine!
#this is mostly exaggerated for comedic effect#obvs if a different team or someone they sub contracted us working on a new Pokémon game that doesn't mean it or legends ZA will be rushed#and if they just ported all the old games that'd be fine#but also I think it will literally not kill anyone to not have a new Pokémon game until 2025#god they literally have not gone more than a year without a main series game or major DLC since the series started in literally 1996#and if you include spin-offs that aren't mobile Jesus Christ#the last time there wasn't ANY spin off or anything going off JP dates was 2001#WE CAN SKIP A YEAR IT'S FINE
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idk if it was the venus retrograde or what, but july 2023 was quite literally the worst month i've ever experienced in my life like.....every single day? awful? worse than the last? it's more likely than u think
#u know sometimes you'll experience something bad in the moment and look back later like lol that was fine actually!#not july :) she was actually really bad :)#tmi but if u wanna know why i was gone lol#my partner of 6 years cheated on me in early may. on her birthday. at her party that i planned. with her coworker. and i saw it#on top of just being like. completely devastated? i was just so embarrassed? i hardly told anyone because it made me feel like#just SO worthless. and then i was embarrassed about feeling worthless and it was a whole thing#anyway they started dating in july and it was really tough for me#it was like every day i'd wake up and have to like grieve? and come to terms with reality? and accept that a lot of my future plans#were no longer going to happen - at least with her :/ it's a really tough thing to grapple with#esp since it felt like she wasn't nearly as sad as i was - which unfortunately makes sense but still sucks#ANYWAY im doing a lot better now lol i started telling people in my life and letting them be there for me and it's helped so much#it's still hard sometimes but i know now that i'm gonna be fine eventually#this is so dumb to post on my sims blog but it feels good to get it off my chest so SUE ME I GUESS
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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I think your puppy boy should be punished for not giving you enough attention, bunny. I think making some of the ideas you described come to life is in order~
-🐑
Honestly I think you're right. It's been OVER a week since we last did anything !!!! I should call him over :3
#we have gone on a few dates since last monday but I was always getting too socially drained to do anything after that#but I'm okay right now :3#puppoy archives#ftm nsft#trans nsft#ftm bottom#ftm ns/fw
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can’t stop thinking of all my past connections with people tbh :/
#unimportant thoughts#talked to someone i used to be a lot closer with recently#and also found a map i drew for meatz when we first started play of my relationships at the time#and its just so sad to me#i still have nothing but love and care in my heart for so many people#and theyre gone or distant or awkward now#:/#i missin lovin people with no restraint! i miss feelin loved and special in return !#sighhhhh another day another ‘im lonely cause no one wants to fuck me anymore!’ teddy post#🙄🙄🙄#god stfu#anyways#i made a new map last night for meatz as a joke since i had found the original#but instead of lines for relationships like dating or domming or casual#there was just a ‘dead dove do not eat’ pile and a ‘????’ pile#and dating meatz#nothing else !#and that makes me sad as funny of a map as it was#kinda rammed home that no only is it pretty empty in my life comparitively but also so many of the relationships#and their endings make me sad or confused or resentful now#and none of that feels great!#feels like a speedran a bunch of stuff all in one year
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Right here's what I hope happens since we're not getting a qsmp stream like Foolish and Tina said we would get this weekend.
- they reset the art in the museum on Monday doing a nepotism and putting Tina's art of Pomme in
- wait a few days for people to see it and those that don't know about it realise that it THE TinaKitten that drew it
- have a lore stream that's potentially just Tina (and Foolish) escaping because Bagera and Cellbit chose to stay while Tina and Foolish were running to the boat and wanted to escape
- Foolish and Leo reunion, Teaduo reunion
- Tina finally gets to meet Empanada and immediately hit it off then they go to the museum as a mini family
- Tina points out the Pomme drawing and how she got in because nepotism and Empanada asks her to draw her
- Tina immediately does it off stream and privately messages the admins to put it in the museum and then she'll post it on the next monday after they've seen it so it's not spoiled
- chat and Em both freak out at seeing Tina's adorable drawing and then all the other eggs keep asking Tina to draw them
#i literally had this dream last night#and either em is cheeky being like why didnt you draw me? since the museum isnt canon#or is super nervous asking to be drawn as well because shes a little sweetheart#please i need them to meet and tina immediately fall in love#also bagi needs to ask her to be her girlfriend the second they get a moment alone#i cant have tina keeping going around like 'shes my minecraft... crush???? she might not have meant anything that way!!'#after having gone on a date and bagi literally constantly flirting with her#while bagis just constantly refering to her as her girlfriend before adding that she hasnt actually asked yet#these gay disasters#teaduo#qsmp#qsmp tina#qsmp empanada#qsmp bagi#qsmp teaduo#it would be funny that if tina does decide to draw all the eggs that the space above the lecturn on the second floor is the place for them#then the rest is still the fans art but the eggs can see Tina's art of them without having to find them in the server#i just fucking love tinas art and her pomme and have done leo are so good#i want to jnow how she would design empanada
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🎤 thoughts: is it normal for friends to kind of ~disappear after getting together with someone and is it normal to feel sad about it
#ive been wondering this for a while bc one of my super close friends has been dating this girl for like 4 months atp#and since then i think our communication has gone down by a lot ajsbsf#for context this guy is rlly good friends with me and my bf!! he and my bf go waay back since they were 5 😭#and he and i trauma bonded in hs LOL which is why we're so close#he's at the level of like. he could be my maid of honour in my wedding 😭 like i would put him there along w my bsf#bc next to my bf i think they're the next 2 people who know me best 😭 but my bf also wants him as a groomsman 😭#and i think ive honestly witnessed him at the lowest points of his life hsbfsdf#there was one time we came from a night out with friends and when he dropped me home he had to park outside my house for a bit#bc he was having a full on breakdown and didn't want to go home yet 😭#i think ive witnessed him at many stages of his life basically sdfbsjdf#and i mean im not rlly taking it personally that he isnt talking to us as much cos i respect the whole new relationship phase#i also wouldnt want to cause problems or make his girl see me as a threat or smth 😭 so taking a step back a bit was a given#but my bf is fr getting sad abt it and honestly i am too a lil bit 😭 cos where is our friend 😭#i talked so much again#anyway what are some thoughts on this im curious#maybe im also just overreacting
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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tag vent
#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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shes very close to my heart still
#scribbles#dream daddy#dream daddy a dad dating simulator#ddadds#mary christiansen#i tried my best but auh anatomy here still feels really wonky. but still#its been very long since iv drawn her and she is still close to my heart now as she was in 2019.#i consider mary like... THE ollie comfort character that hasnt really come and gone like my other fandoms have#like - alana for instance was a cc of mine when i was insanely hyperfixated on deh but largely just for that time period#i dont get that same immense joy from her i did in that time period. yk. mary though through thick and thin#will always be one of my fav chars everrrr. loev her so much...
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Todd is baby, so - Baby Todd
#💟#Doodles#Art#Edgar#Scriabin#Todd#Shmee#Baby Todd AU#These are scribbly and largely unfinished because I had A Lot of ideas and I needed them out of my head as quickly as possible lol#Normally I'd save these for the sketchdump but a) there's too many lol and b) I'm too excited about them#I just wanted to draw cute stuff that's my explanation lol#This is just my ultimate form of making Todd extra tiny and hold that was my justification and goal all along lol#I love these kinds of domestic AUs and the Vargases already have a kid! Now he's just a bit younger haha#Details details - Todd would be at around 8-9 months here#Able to hold his head up and sit on his own but not quite to walking and talking fully - more than a little human blob but not a child yet#He just shows up in a little basket on Edgar's doorstep lol is that how it works - it'd be so much worse if it was Nny's doorstep#Edgar gets a call in the middle of the night like ''Uh...........so I think there's a baby'' ''What do you mean there's a baby''#How could they have a baby they haven't even gone on a date-#I also thought a neat way to differentiate (because I always draw Todd as a tiny little chibi baby lol) would be Shmee#Since Nny slices him up when Todd's a kid - would he do the same to a baby's bear? Is Shmee even Shmee in there?? Hmm hmm#And more thoughts of ages - is Edgar 8&1/2 years younger? Probably not right?? But that would set Todd's birth year way later!#It's fine just don't think about it too hard lol#Or do I mean I have lol#It's all just for cutes and being a good and Definitely flustered but also Definitely father and dad to a baby ♥#It is honestly really fun to draw him so so so tiny hehehe ♪♫
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Edgar getting jealous over Scriabin, Edgar getting jealous is so gooooddd
Day 28 - Date Success! 🌟
#My art#Requestober#Vargas#Edgar#Scriabin#Okay so I might have gone a little overboard for today's lol#But in my defense I really wanted to lol#Quick guess how many frames >:3c Did you guess 170? That's correct! Lol#Lots of quick renaming files lol#It's still fun to make fake dating sim gifs tho ahhh ♪ Simple animations and expressions and the text ticker#I really love the aesthetic of it hehe ♥#It's funny 'cause at first I was like ''Hmm jealous Edgar... What can I do for jealous Edgar''#'Cause I completely agree Jealous Edgar is excellent ✨ And it's been since around the hiatus since I drew any jealous Edgar so it's timely#And then I looked through my backlog and was like Oh! The Edgar ⬇️ Scriabin ⬆️ Dating Sim route ♪#I picked up my notes and one of the things I'd jotted down was the way that Edgar ''encourages'' the player to not pursue Scriabin hehe#''Oh Scriabin's a bad person he'll hurt you he's really not someone you want to date'' while staring daggers at you lol#Not that he's wrong lol but what if the player's into that Edgar! It just won't fly if you're excluding one for the other ♪#It was really fun to draw Edgar's eyes like that haha ✨#Scriabin on the other hand is just like Byyyeee ♥ Have fun with my boyfriend and his shovel talk ♥♥#He's the true winner in this situation lol#Plus he gets a jealous Edgar all to himself afterwards! He just using you to rile him up player! Get out of there!#Haha ♪
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..
#so my first long term bf and I have continued to tell each other happy birthday since we broke up uhhhh ages ago#and it’s kinda surreal cause today when saying it to him I realized we have basically done it for 16 years now#like obv some of that includes when we were actually dating/close friends#but we also met at 16#and 16 is literally half of our lives so it’s just kinda crazy to think about#it’s about the only time we message each other and those feelings are longgg gone but yeah just wild thinking about it
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"From a very early age the child becomes part of a pattern he never fully understands and is powerless to change. It is a pattern that is made up of rituals - of form periods, morning assemblies, lessons that follow each other in quick succession for no apparent reason, bells rung by other people that govern his changes of activity, milk, school dinners, homework. His life is part of a scheme that has been devised by people he does not know, and into which he is expected to fit without question.
And it is here that we come to the real content of our educational structure. At school, the child is taught by experience that it is normal for other people to organize his life. He will be told in Civics or History that he lives in a democracy, which means that people govern themselves. But he will know as an experienced fact that he must expect to be governed by other people who know better than he does."
- Albert Hunt, The Tyranny of Subjects, in Education for Democracy (2nd ed., 1972)
#teaching tag#education for democracy#albert hunt#quotes#the tyranny of subjects#1972#education#teaching#this is proving a valuable read; it's necessarily dated‚ and some of the ideas that must have seemed revolutionary in the late 60s and#early 70s are now taken for granted in most popular approaches to pedagogical ideals. elsewhere tho there are radical suggestions for#completely new approaches to comprehensive teaching which still carry merit and would still bear further investigation (and remain just as#unlikely to see implementation under the current uk culture of education). many of the articles and papers collected in this book were#written under a Conservative government that was slowly undoing what small progress had been made in the field of universal education#by the previous labour gov. in the 59 years since publication‚ that baton has gone forwards and backwards several times‚ with seemingly#ever slower and smaller progress made at the expense of ever greater compromise and deconstruction. two steps forwards‚ one step back; same#as it ever was. same as it may well ever be
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sorry for what im about to say and i havent played baldur's gate 3 yet but he's kinda babygirl princess
#he looks like the type of character you either love or hate and no in between#pushinng back my ps5 date since i have..gone incredibly over budget haha...:')
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