#AND ALSO FEAR
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henlo, henlo...! it is I, Uraynuke - nice to meet ya!
hi!!! im crabsdaily!!!
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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a big lesson for me was learning that most things are not as fragile as I’d believed. missing a class, or turning in a bad assignment, won’t instantly destroy your professor’s opinion of you. accidentally saying something harsh won’t make your friend want to end the friendship. it takes work to repair these things - it takes effort and research and sometimes a sincere apology - but you can do that because they’re not irreparably broken. what you’ve worked to build, in academia and in relationships and in life, is stronger and more enduring that your mind may teach you to believe. don’t let imagined fragility lead you to giving up
#in some rare cases someone will react dramatically to a small failure#it’s very very important to understand that that is about them#it is not about you#and environments that condition you to fear small missteps are neither healthy nor productive#but in most cases things are not so fragile#also this is a follow up to the credibility post#because your credibility will not break if you miss a day#it’s all stronger than you think#academia#study tips#studyblr#study inspo#study motivation#productivity#personal#text post
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red flags!
#gempearl#trafficshipping#? could be platonic too who knows#semi continuation to that werewolf gem drawing i did a bit ago!!!#i love making up random scenarios in my head#when will they have a proper conversation in this series#billy knows whats up#shinyduo#eydidraws#my art#mcyt#trafficblr#its funny because i have a matching comic but its gem being scared of moth 5am pearl but i fear the wings kicked my ass and i cant finish i#also wanted to practice drawing tilly / billy !!!#wolf moment...#wild life smp#pearlescentmoon#geminitay
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things that are scary that you just have to get over at some point
being wrong (as distinct from)
other people having different opinions from you (as distinct from)
minor disagreements
the eternal uncertainty caused by living in a universe where luck exists (e.g. Just Anything could happen to you for no reason)
.
i've had this list open for so long but i can't think of anything else
i sorta feel like most other fears are kind of fine to have
oh like spiders i guess
#post not made to be like you're bad for being scared of these things. i am also scared of them.#post made to reaffirm that being scared of these things is normal but also doesn't change needing to get over them / move thru the fear
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I will say despite all my issues with the new boy wonder issue this panel is so funny as Jason basically went
#dc#dc comics#batman#the boy wonder#wednesday spoilers#tuesday spoilers#jason todd#red hood#not my art#but this is one of the things i actually liked about the issue#jason being feared but also casually saying hey to people on the street#the DUALITY#the boy wonder spoilers#the boy wonder issue 2#oifaaaposts
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*taps mic* is this thing on? Yeah okay so every vampire in the vampire chronicles is turned at critical a moment in their lives and beyond just the body they are in when they are turned, their mentality stays at that standstill for their entire immortality, Lestat was turned against his will, he was clinging onto Magnus begging him to be freed, so he’s constantly seeking freedom and only finding loneliness and thus turning back to people again and again, however he can’t STAND being told what to do, since he desires agency in his life so desperately, Armand was turned after years and years of abuse and lack of control but such a desire for genuine love, by a man he ‘loved’ so wholly who he felt was barring his love from him, he needs control in his life, he needs a ‘master’ but he does not desire it, it does not fulfill him, he is trapped in a room but the door is unlocked! Louis was mourning his brother, he felt like an utter failure and so he’s always seeking family, seeking people he can care for, he can coddle, he can prove he is good too, but he loves people who either cannot stand coddeling and need a sense of looseness to live (Lestat) or people who grow out of coddling who prove to Louis he will always fail the people he loves (Claudia), Claudias turning, in many MANY ways mirrors lestats in that it was against her will, she was stolen from her home, and in her immortality she desires freedom but unlike Lestat does not have the agency/ form to get it, she will always be small, she will always be looked down on, even by Lestat who cannot deny how much she is just like him *taps mic* ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!! NONE OF THEM CAN BREAK THE CYCLE!!! TO BREAK IT WOULD BE TO UNDO THE VERY FIBER OF THEIR IMMORTAL SELVES!! THE CYCLE IS THE BLOOD THEY DRINK IT IS THE HEART IN THEIR CHEST AND IT ROLLS AND ROLLS DOWN THE MOUNTAINS AND VALLEYS OF THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER AND IT CAN NEVER BE STOPPED BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER STOP LOVING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!
#iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#Louis du lac#lestat#lestat de lioncourt#claudia eparvier#claudia de pointe du lac#claudia#Claudia EPAVIER#clauida de lioncourt#Madeline is my favorite vamp for this reason#especially in the show she was turned in an act of such love and she would’ve lived her immortal life in that love#Even Santiago he was turned in a moment of fear#of complete lack of care so he jumps from woman to woman and needs attention DEMANDS attention#because his own maker could not bother to care about him#interview with the vampire#Armand#the vampire armand#the vampire lestat#marius de romanus#Marius de Romanus I hope u live a terrible immortal life#guys#I feel so deeply about them#Nicki also GOD#nicholas de lenfent#nicki de lenfent
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subject, specimen, spectacle;
should i say that you're dead?
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#satoru gojo#gojo#bugs/#insects/#eye horror/#every time i post gojo art i feel scummy using like . the slew of tags this mf has#im like wow u look desperate gdfjkdjkg#listen ok im not a gojomain idk where people look fr content#anyway for not a gojomain i sure do have a lot of artistic breakthroughs whenever i draw him#first th eyedoves then lmhs gojo then gojo in the (club) bathroom by himself now this#loathe as i am to admit it i Love how much there is to pick apart of him in art theres so much theres so many angles u cld take#personally my favourite gojo angle in art (tm) is the Cryptically Unsettling Not Sane Not Human what can i say#keep ur thirst trap gojoart i like this guy unblinking and twitchy#on that note here he is pinned down as god intended#i ATE w this concept i fear fgfgsd i wanted a like. pallid formaldehyde dissection table under examination motif#and i was torn between using snakes or bugs to convey it and im SO SOOSOSOO happy i picked the bugs#ive used butterflies a lot they arent anything unfamiliar but truly i felt a chakra unlock when i thought of gojo+butterfly pinning#the burning light the eye the composition i rly think this is some of my best work#also also th poem was smth i came across when i was brainstorming captions and i ws like. gagged @ how well it fit gojo i had to include it#im not a poetry buff so my opinion is very uneducated but i think it was rly haunting and sad and beautiful#fit my target vibe so i took it slapped it on gojo w bugs said thank you verymuch smile :)
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my favorite thing about andreil is that they spent the first two books observing each other like strange bugs in a lab going "mmm how peculiar" at each others every move only to come to the conclusion "wow this dudes 100% not all there. i should be gay about it" and then they are and its the healthiest thing you've ever seen
#to love is to observe and to love is to know or whatever#like i fear they invented a whole new level of gay here cause no one is doing it like theyre doing it#also back to the love is to know thing like. they just Know each other. they Anticipate each other. disgusting i hope they live forever#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil#all for the game#aftg#nora sakavic
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Whoever at DC decided to give absolute Wally west a mullet I love you I’m platonically smooching you
#dc comics#wally west#absolute flash#this comic isn’t out yet but it’s gonna be peak I fear#also potentially transformation panic yes PLEASE#I need this comic out now please dc
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I can't get over how scared caitlyn looks when she realizes she's about to be killed, that there's nothing she can do to stop it. she just regained consciousness, discovered that someone she trusted had betrayed her (had, perhaps, never been on her side at all), and then her one last attempt at resistance was brutally shut down before it even began.
the wide eyes. the way her breathing speeds up right before maddie pulls the trigger. this is caitlyn kiramman realizing she's about to die, and she is terrified.
#it's actually so horrifying#ambessa was so brutal about it#she wanted caitlyn to SUFFER for her betrayal#caitlyn is just so shell shocked and frightened in front of her OWN MEN#AMBESSA WHEN I CATCH YOUUU#arcane#arcane spoilers#caitlyn kiramman#and yes she's also in pain but i do think that's secondary to her fear in this moment
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my brother!!!!! he tossed himself off a roof! my sister!!!!!!! she buried me alive! my daughter was my sister was my throw pillow when he wouldn’t look at me kindly!!!!!! lestat lestat lestat lestat lestat lestat LESTAT-
#armand#he ate i fear#i understand louis#i’m also obsessed with lestat#imagine spending 77 years with someone who still loves their ex#iwtv 2x05#iwtv spoilers#loustat#loumand#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#iwtv#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire
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midsummer’s night dream redraw/study/whatever but its utenanthy
original reference under cut
#my art#revolutionary girl utena#rgu#utena tenjou#anthy himemiya#utenanthy#arghhhh so happy with this…..#i was fearing rendering the background but it turned out well i think#rendering utena and anthy was also pretty fun :)#procreate canvas info says the time tracked was 6.5 hours but im not sure if tracked time means all the time i had the canvas open or not#bc i did sit with this canvas open and doing nothing quite a few times#so. this took 6.5 hours at most and maybe like… 5 at least? idk#im bad at estimating this#2024
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Tbh at this point you should just make your own webcomic app/website because it would probably be 100 times better than whatever going on with webtoon right now.
hahaha it wouldn't tho, sorry 💀
Here's the fundamental issue with webcomic platforms that a lot of people just don't realize (and why they're so difficult to run successfully):
Storage costs are incredibly expensive, it's why so many sites have limitations on file sizes / page sizes / etc. because all of those images and site info have to be stored somewhere, which costs $$$.
Maintenance costs are expensive and get more so as you grow, you need people who are capable of fixing bugs ASAP and managing the servers and site itself
Financially speaking, webcomics are in a state of high supply, low demand. Loads of artists are willing to create their passion projects, but getting people to read them and pay for them is a whole other issue. Demand is high in the general sense that once people get attached to a webtoon they'll demand more, but many people aren't actually willing to go looking for new stuff to read and depend more on what sites feed them (and what they already like). There are a lot of comics to go around and thus a lot of competition with a limited audience of people willing to actually pay for them.
Trying to build a new platform from the ground up is incredibly difficult and a majority of sites fail within their first year. Not only do you have to convince artists to take a chance on your platform, you have to convince readers to come. Readers won't come if there isn't work on the platform to read, but artists won't come if they don't think the site will be worth it due to low traffic numbers. This is why the artists with large followings who are willing to take chances on the smaller sites are crucial, but that's only if you can convince them to use the site in favor of (or alongside) whatever platform they're using already where the majority of their audience lies. For many creators it's just not worth the time, energy, or risk.
Even if you find short-term success, in the long-term there are always going to be profit margins to maintain. The more users you pull in, the more storage is used by incoming artists, the more you have to spend on storage and server maintenance costs, and that means either taking the risk at crowdfunding (ex. ComicFury) or having to resort to outsider investments (ex. Tapas). Look at SmackJeeves, it used to be a titan in the independent webcomic hosting community, until it folded over to a buyout by NHN and then was pretty much immediately shuttered due to NHN basically turning it into a manwha scanlation site and driving away its entire userbase. And if you don't get bought out and try your hand at crowdfunding, you may just wind up living on a lifeline that could cut out at any moment, like what happened to Inkblazers (fun fact, the death of Inkblazers was what kicked off the cultural shift in Tapas around 2015-16 when all of IB's users migrated over and brought their work with them which was more aimed towards the BL and romancee drama community, rather than the comedy / gag-a-day culture that Tapas had made itself known for... now you deadass can't tell Tapas apart from a lot of scanlation sites because it got bought out by Kakao and kept putting all of its eggs into the isekai/romance drama basket.)
Right now the mindset in which artists and readers are operating is that they're trying way, way too hard to find a "one size fits all" site. Readers want a place where they can find all their favorite webtoons without much effort, artists wants a place where they can post to an audience of thousands, and both sides want a community that will feel tight-knit. But the reality is that you can't really have all three of those things, not on one site. Something always winds up having to be sacrificed - if a site grows big enough, it'll have to start seeking more funding while also cutting costs which will result in features becoming paywall'd, intrusive ads, creators losing their freedom, and/or outsider support which often results in the platform losing its core identity and alienating its tight-knit community.
If I had to describe what I'm talking about in a "pick one" graphic, it would look something like this:
(*note: this is mostly based on my own observations from using all of these sites at some point or another, they're not necessarily entirely accurate to the statistical performance of each site, I can only glean so much from experience and traffic trackers LMAO that said I did ask some comic pals for input and they were very helpful in helping me adjust it with their own takes <3).
The homogenization of the Internet has really whipped people into submission for the "big sites" that offer "everything", but that's never been the Internet, it relies on being multi-faceted and offering different spaces for different purposes. And we're seeing that ideology falter through the enshittification of sites like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. where users are at odds with the platforms because the platforms are gutting features in an attempt to satisfy shareholders whom without the platforms would not exist. Like, most of us aren't paying money to use social media sites / comic platform sites, so where else are they gonna make the necessary funds to keep these sites running? Selling ad space and locking features behind paywalls.
And this is especially true for a lot of budding sites that don't have the audience to support them via crowdfunding but also don't have the leverage to ask for investments - so unless they get really REALLY lucky in EITHER of those departments, they're gonna be operating at a loss, and even once they do achieve either of those things there are gonna be issues in the site's longevity, whether it be dying from lack of growing crowdfunding support or dying from shareholder meddling.
So what can we do?
We can learn how to take our independence back. We don't have to stop using these big platforms altogether as they do have things to offer in their own way, particularly their large audience sizes and dipping into other demographics that might not be reachable from certain sites - but we gotta learn that no single site is going to satisfy every wish we have and we have to be willing to learn the skills necessary to running our own spaces again. Pick up HTML/CSS, get to know other people who know HTML/CSS if you can't grasp it (it's me, I can't grasp it LOL), be willing to take a chance on those "smaller sites" and don't write them off entirely as spaces that can be beneficial to you just because they don't have large numbers or because they don't offer rewards programs. And if you have a really polished piece of work in your hands, look into agencies and publishing houses that specialize in indie comics / graphic novels, don't settle for the first Originals contract that gets sent your way.
For the last decade corporations have been convincing us that our worth is tied to the eyes we can bring to them. Instead of serving ourselves, we've begun serving the big guys, insisting that it has to be worth something eventually and that it'll "payoff" simply by the virtue of gambler's fallacy. Ask yourself what site is right for you and your work rather than asking yourself if your work is good enough for them. Most of us are broke trying to make it work on these sites anyways, may as well be broke and fulfilled by posting in places that actually suit us and our work if we can. Don't define your success by what sites like Webtoons are enforcing - that definition only benefits them, not you.
#my favorite out of these is comicfury because it gives you the most control out of all of them#and you can offer monetization tools like ads and patreon links#it also offers super easy tools to help build your own site if you're new to that#it's as close to “running your own site” as comic hosting can get#but you can also learn how to run your own site if you want undeniably full control without fear of the platform host shuttering#also look into collectives like SpiderForest!#they basically operate as a co-op where people host their work with them and get ad opportunities#but you have to apply to get in#ama#ask me anything#anon ama#anon ask me anything#webcomic tips
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and together we set out on a journey to find treasure! (id in alt)
#dungeon meshi#marcille donato#laios touden#falin touden#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi spoilers#for the second img…. anyway this episode was SOOO good - marcille you never fail to make me weep a little#this was one of the chapters that also got me rly into dunmeshi… i like how marcille’s fear is smth that Can be interpreted as broad#and common - like how laios initially thought - but ultimately it’s quite specific… naturally running at a faster pace and attempting to use#magic - her only tool - did not help either. thus coming to deeply desire a unique tool in somebody else’s hands#to build a future where her loved ones can keep running with her. i lauv u so much marcille
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