#ALSO. THIS ASK IS SO OLD. like genuinely i think this has been in my inbox for 2 or 3 years
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Petey offered a sloppy little smile -- or whatever the equivalent of a sloppy little smile is on a duck bill -- when Ezra actually seemed interested in their half-joke. Maybe he was just being nice and trying to make sure Petey didn't feel as inferior as they did ( hey, glowing under a UV light was cool, but it was no walking through walls ), maybe he did actually want to see it... But, in that moment, head swimming a bit, Petey didn't really care which it was -- they were just glad to be in the company of someone so nice ( ha ! ). The sloppy little smile faltered when Ezra launched into a description of what his old settlement had been like, though. As a platyperson, Petey hadn't been living a life that was all sunshine and rainbows, but it sure was better than what Ezra had begun describing! Petey still had good friends, Petey still had a job and somewhere to live, Petey still had loving parents. They were never one to complain -- they knew they were lucky ! -- but, man, they wouldn't even speak a word of that. Instead... hm... "Man, I -- I'm glad you could get over here, then." That worked, right? Maybe a little too hazy to judge it totally properly, but it was acknowledging that that sucked but also not totally pitying him and also... uh... Another thing that their bill couldn't do, but definitely would? Blush. They were not conventionally attractive by any means! They were too human for platypuses, too platypus for humans -- 'conventional' and 'platyperson' never really went together! But... beauty? Gee, they liked to think they were all gravy with it, but they'd never known what the opposite end of it felt like -- not until now. Of course, they most certainly did not get the innuendo Ezra had assumed they were making -- far be it from them to understand it! "Oh! Oh -- I, y'know, one of my, ah... talents is, see... I sweat milk." Not very sexy, Peter. "Really?" Petey asked, genuinely shocked... maybe a bit too shocked, maybe they had to tone that down. "I just mean, y'know, you seem so... confident." Ezra had been lost before? "And -- and very pretty, too." Man, there were so many words other than 'pretty'! Not that it didn't describe him... Ezra had been lost before when he was also attractive?
"i'm sure i can rustle one up. i'll be holding you to that, i hope you know." and he will, even past the disappointment that it isn't something sexual. overtly, anyway... he's a pervert first and person second, but the second does still exist. there's natural curiosity within himself, still. all it needs is a little platypus-shaped kindling! in the meantime, there's always the physical to get him interested. he can't imagine a place in the world where petey doesn't find someone falling at their feet. ah, if only... he can be a tad idealistic. taking another gulp of his drink, ezra's brow arches. "were they, what? horrible, awful, no good, terrible shits? yeah, most of 'em. would sell their own mothers if it meant getting on the train below." and then there's the follow up. and you? of course, it's a silly question. he's already sold out the lot of his family and would again for less! his mum, bless her soul, had hated him... even as much as she had tried not to, caring for him as she did. his father was just shy of his own level of crazy as a human. and his siblings? screw them. they had better prospects away from the old man. envy is the name of the game. he leaves that unsaid question... unanswered. "that it is—part of your beauty, i mean. not part of whatever nonsense has convinced you it's not." he even means it, strangely enough. it's not often that ezra insists upon someone else's confidence—no, more likely for him to take advantage of it—but it just doesn't sit right seeing someone so... lost. "'course, you'll have to suffer through me asking all my terrible questions." he smiles, genuinely. "by milk, you don't mean—?" he grins, hopefully getting the message across. he's not shy to say it of course, but he's testing the waters of his company. petey seems the flighty sort. "me, myself? you'd be surprised. at one point i was as...abandoned... as you are. i had to build myself back up from all that. part of the reason i'm here, now." with a lot of omission between the beginning and end. his indulgence in his gifts were not won by confidence alone, but by the willingness to disregard all else—convenient when, genetically, he tends toward chaos and destruction. not so good for anyone in the way...
#interactions !#interactions || ezra !#interactions || ezra 1 !#okay perfect.#when i move to australia im gonna get some very light alcohol and give a platypus a lil sip#then we'll see how fast the lil platypus starts acting a lil silly#it's all very scientific.#important question: does a platypus prefer vodka or tequila!#FADSHFALKSJD it's okay king <3 i managed to get long in response so <3 it's the way we do it!!
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rdj the (whitewashed) electric boogaloo
This is a reminder to everyone who's excited about RDJ's casting as Doctor Doom that this casting is whitewashing. Victor Von Doom is a Romani character and has been a Romani character since his introduction in the 1960s. (Fantastic Four Annual #2 [1964]) Not only that, but his Roma identity and the persecution he and his family faced due to it is integral to his character, it is what forms his identity. (Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker) Even if on the off chance this casting is meant to not be Victor but instead be some variant of Tony or whomever else becoming Doctor Doom, it is damaging to the character to rob him of that important cultural background. Doctor Doom does not exist without that history. Fans have been pushing hard to cast Doom as a Romani actor for years, especially since the MCU has whitewashed other Romani characters. (Wanda, Pietro, etc) This casting is not a celebration moment, it's fucking heartbreaking that the MCU repeatedly ignores the important and nuanced cultural backstories of characters.
I know I can't change anybody's mind on whether or not you want to be excited about RDJ's return to the MCU. But I do think at the very least you should be mad that the MCU is baiting us all and destroying nuanced and interesting characters for the sake of self-referential easter eggs and nostalgia bait. Because that's what it is. Feel how you'd like to feel about RDJ's return, but personally, this is soul-sucking. I had such a deep love for the MCU as a teenager, it was obviously something incredibly formative to me, especially Tony Stark. This isn't recreating what I fell in love with the MCU for. This is turning a well-planned and artistic storyline of adaptations into cheap cash grabs and fan service. Because, I think we're past the point of being able to call the MCU an adaptation of anything. They can use existing characters' names and powers, but to say they're being properly adapted is laughable.
This is not an adaptation of Doctor Doom. This is RDJ the Electric Boogaloo because Marvel's fear of losing the interest of dedicated MCU fans overrides their willingness to tell stories that are genuine to the characters. I don't know what there is to be excited about that. The MCU has lost its authenticity and aside from a few projects, feels heartless. Every movie is a copy of a copy. This announcement isn't something celebratory, it feels like a death knell of a cinematic universe that's so desperate to cling to relevancy it's resorting to nostalgia for a character/actor who hasn't even been dead for a decade. We're not getting anything new, we're just rinsing and repeating the same song and dance.
I get it. I love Tony Stark, his death destroyed me and I to this day, rue the ending he got in Endgame. It misunderstood his arc and it robbed him of a satisfying conclusion. But the solution to that isn't dragging the corpse out of the grave five years later to whitewash an existing character with rich and interesting nuance, just to forcibly tie his existence in the MCU to Tony. Whether he is a variant or not. Why would you want someone else's fave's legacy to be destroyed simply so your fave's legacy can go on? Hell, if we were really all so hellbent on the return of RDJ and/or Tony to the MCU, we have the multiverse for a reason. There were other ways to do it that didn't whitewash and ruin someone else. This just. Isn't something to be happy about.
#... we will not be addressing that i'm a dead blog#no one say a WORD about my inactivity for 4 years this isn't about that /lh#also if anyone tries to get smart about “romani isn't a race” i don't care and you can shut up.#it's an ethnic and cultural identity. and it should be portrayed correctly.#ESPECIALLY for a character like *victor von doom* of all people. like it is fundamental to him.#i would've included panels of the comics mentioned but most of them use the g-slur and i don't wish to encourage that here#like listen i don't think you need to be a comics fan to be an mcu fan. they're so divorced from each other atp#nor do i think the mcu owes complete comic accuracy. but i do think you should at *least* care when characters are whitewashed.#look. i really don't want this to be a debate on if rdj's return is good or not#i've been frankly baffled at how many old mutuals are excited but. whatever if you want him back i get it.#but it shouldn't be like this. not at the expense of a different character.#this whole thing made me realize i'm *far* more jaded and turned off to the mcu than most of you guys are.#which is fair you can still be an mcu fan. if it brings you joy i'm so happy for you#but how does this like. bring joy i don't get it.#this is soulless. it's uninspired. it's done purely for shock value.#i occasionally get asks to this blog about why i left and asking me to come back#and i get it. i *want* to come back.#but i don't *care* about the mcu anymore. this is not the franchise i fell in love with.#i don't recognize what once meant everything to me.#winteriron will always hold a special place in my heart (as will tony stark)#but like. i just don't have love for it. and it sucks that this bullshit from marvel actively kills the love i had.#this sours tony stark to me. i'm sorry but it does. because was it really worth this? is this what his legacy has become?#this does cheapen his legacy btw. like without question. it turns him into a cheap cameo reference. heart of the mcu my ass.#my fandom circles have *massively* changed#i'm now entirely surrounded by comics fans bc my primary fandom is dc comics. that's what i'm up to these days#and the difference was actually baffling to me. everyone i follow now is *pissed* about this. comics twitter is so mad.#and then i see ppl on here excited and i'm just genuinely surprised this is something you want. i don't get it.#i don't say that to be rude. i just don't get it. how is *this* actually something people *want*.#do i still care about marvel? eh.#i like winter soldier comics and i could give a comprehensive rec list. and i read some other characters i deeply enjoy.
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have you ever been convicted of a felony?
★ PREV | FIRST | NEXT ★
#jsab#just shapes and beats#jsab fanart#ask#jsab circle#jsab square#jsab cyan#jsab triangle#jsab pentagon#jsab sad cube#sad cube#ally#iris#sky#perces#circe#THIS ONE IS A GOOD ONE. HEHEHE#ALSO. THIS ASK IS SO OLD. like genuinely i think this has been in my inbox for 2 or 3 years#im getting close to answering some of the oldest asks in my inbox from like before i rebooted the blog#which is crazy to me#*doesnt reply for three years* oops#SORRY#i am trying to be better nowadays
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from the stuff i’ve heard marc’s former honda teammates (dani jorge and pol in their media careers but joan also i guess) say about him now that they’re racing is generally quite positive, both on a professional/riding level but also seemingly on a personal level? i’m wondering what you make of that given that, yeah, marc doesn’t seem like a very good teammate (unless you’re alex who i’ve left off this list). like MARC wants to separate on and off track stuff and it seems like all of these guys are willing too at least in retrospect, so he can’t have truly burned bridges with them. do you have any thoughts on that
(x, x) most riders are quite good at not burning bridges with each other! it's not like marc's competitors don't know that this stuff is kinda part of the game. I mean, all of marc's past teammates were also trying to assert themselves within the internal hierarchy... you can say that certain teammates engage in 'worse' behaviour than others, but, like, these people do understand they're supposed to be fighting each other! a baseline degree of nastiness is factored in and will be accepted to a greater or lesser extent by your rivals - especially when it comes to asserting yourself in intra-team power struggles. you might hate the other guy in the moment, but generally speaking once the active part of the rivalry is done with... you will probably get over it. marc's fellow riders are aware of how ultra-competitive marc is - and to a certain point they do respect it, not least because they're aware that this is part of the reason why marc has ended up with all those titles. it's like dani said, right, it's marc's strong suit. and in general, you do have to say that there's relatively few teammate pairings that devolve to the level of toxicity that it completely destroys the interpersonal relationship. you might need some level of preexisting animosity... most of the purely competitive sins can be healed with a little time
on the 'separating on-track and off-track' thing... well. this is kind of a question of how you define these things, you can say that marc generally speaking isn't going to massively hold grudges over isolated on-track incidents or whatever... but he doesn't just leave his fighting to the track, and personally I've also never felt he can entirely separate these things out in his mind. can you really say his professional and private relationships with other riders are completely detached from one another? mostly, he's opted to be pretty disengaged from his fellow riders as a collective, and obviously that's a good way to not take things too personally... it's all part of the game, isn't it? sometimes it's good to go with the straightforward approach: marc tells you he will make your life hell, he does indeed make your life hell, and then you both move on with your lives and can maybe actually have a pretty amiable relationship with him in years to come. he's not really defying your expectations at any point here, is he now? it's still a question for each of them as individuals as to whether they think that kind of behaviour is above board and acceptable or not... but everyone by now knows that marc plays these games, so it's not like they're going in blind
and it's not like other former teammates are constantly badmouthing each other. I mean... look, let's just cut to the chase here and bring in valentino as our reference point (as he is for the sport as a whole, which by the way does also help create a certain baseline of acceptability for marc's antics - maybe goated riders are just supposed to be dicks who knows). vale's premier class teammates were 1) nobody (2000-01), 2) tohru ukawa (2002), 3) nicky hayden (2003; 2011-12), 4) carlos checa (2004), 5) colin edwards (2005-2007), 6) jorge lorenzo (2008-10; 2013-16), 7) maverick vinales (2017-20), 8) franco morbidelli (2021), and 9) andrea dovizioso (2021). of these eight men (let's just exclude 'nobody' for now), do you know how many had serious complaints at any point about valentino as a teammate? that's right, it's one guy. one. some of valentino's other teammates, like hayden, checa and edwards, were even quite actively positive about their whole experience. this is the thing - you do need some specific circumstances for teammate rivalries to escalate from 'being kinda bitchy every other month' to 'actively fantasising about stabbing each other'. not accounting for natural interpersonal animosity, let's list some circumstantial factors that you need to get a bridge-burning-worthy level of feud:
you need a competitive bike. it is possible to beef about development direction when you're in the trenches (cf late 2010's yamaha, 2020's honda)... but generally speaking this is going to be quite low-level petty stuff, not actual war
you also need something that approaches competitiveness between teammates. if one teammate is unquestionably stronger than the other one, then it is very unlikely that you are going to get any open hostilities. the tension comes when the two sides are close enough to each other for the internal hierarchy to actually be a contentious issue (this is also basic self preservation... if you're the far weaker teammate then you do not want to make the situation troublesome, because then you will be the one to be fired)
following on from those first two things... well, it doesn't hurt to have a title fight in the mix. there are also other ways you can generate competitive stakes, like, for instance, if you and your teammate know that one of you will be out of a job soon. basically, it helps to have something to squabble over
it is maybe easy to forget how rare it is this century for teammates to be fighting directly for a title, let alone over the course of multiple seasons. only two 1-2's since the year 2000 and they're both for the factory yamaha's (though 2006, 2011-13 and 2017 did all prominently feature two factory hondas). which means that for valentino, the prerequisites were met just the once in his premier class career... and yes, the results were pretty memorable, but (topic! for! another! post!) it's worth pointing out that even that relationship was pretty much 'fine' whenever there was a sizeable disparity between the two of them performance-wise (2008 and 2013 are the most clear cut examples). I think the way I'd frame it with marc is that he has a bunch of mildly dubious strategies up his sleeve to assert himself within the team, which don't really deviate that far from what you'd expect from a rider of marc's calibre and only need to be escalated under specific circumstances. that doesn't mean he doesn't have the potential to be ruthless, but up until now it's mostly been a fairly 'acceptable' level of ruthlessness on the intra-team level... and not something that is likely to make other riders actually hate him
taking marc's teammates one by one... dani was the closest to meeting the bridge-burning prerequisites, though he was only a title rival in marc's rookie season. and marc did go further with him than he did with anyone else, and dani has made some pointed comments about marc's style as a teammate... but yes, he is fonder of marc these days. partly I'd just emphasise again that this is a fairly natural progression when you've stopped directly competing for long enough, and partly it's also just a question of individual personality - dani's not massively into holding grudges. then there's jorge, who... I mean, they might as well not have been teammates, given that jorge was either too slow or too injured to even be sharing any track space with marc. you have to put that one down primarily to circumstance, seeing as jorge's own track record on the teammate front isn't exactly spotless. marc and jorge beefing in 2019 would have been pretty dumb and also a massive waste of everyone's time in a year in which marc singlehandedly won the team's championship. even those two needed more to get things going
moving on to the dark years, pol and marc had an extremely stop-and-start partnership on a honda that was generally pretty uncompetitive... so the only stuff they could get ever so mildly irritable about were riveting incidents like 'marc saying pol wasn't the biggest championship threat' (neither of them were) or 'pol saying he'd copy marc's set up' (which proved entirely useless). not exactly title decider territory, is it now, and marc very much had pol covered as a challenger throughout their partnership. also, those two do have a longer history! they've known each other since they were kids and hold a pretty significant place in each other's careers. now that pol's more or less retired, it's natural there'll be quite a lot of sentimentality there - which will paper over any small cracks that appeared during those two years. and joan was a one year teammate at a time in which the bike was consistently close to offing them both. they only managed to start a sunday race together as teammates on thirteen occasions. it would take some serious effort to engineer a feud with that little opportunity, and, really, why on earth would you bother. maybe if honda had gone for rinsy rather than joan for the factory seat, it could've been a bit more prickly, but it's unlikely that it would have escalated beyond that
this is the thing, right, the only one of these partnerships that would have been worth burning bridges over was dani, and even there marc pretty much had him handled after the first season. in general, marc has been pretty clear on how he's not interested in making friends with the other side of the garage while the teammate relationship is ongoing... which is fine! there's some prominent-ish teammate pairings that are actually good friends, some teammate pairings where one of them is actively helping out and advising the other one, but some riders prefer to just keep their distance. it would have been a little silly of marc to start a feud with a teammate who is galaxies away from being a competitive threat, let alone a title rival, but generally it is possible to toe the line between 'attempting to suppress your internal rivals enough to stop them from becoming a problem for you' and 'taking radical enough action to make your internal rivals despise you'
especially in the post-dani era, marc never really had any need to push things too far... and, let's face it, how many of your teammate relationships end up with burnt bridges is also quite frankly a question of luck and circumstance. do you want to guess which top rider on paper has the worst track record this century with premier class teammate feuds, in terms of a) how many they've had, and b) how little public reconciliation there has been since the end of the rivalry?
yes, that's right, it's the first name that comes to mind when you're thinking of toxic and conflict-prone riders: andrea dovizioso. that old devil, constantly causing trouble. just couldn't stop undermining his poor, innocent teammates. can somebody please stop this ruthless bully before it's too late
I think you get the point. I would personally suggest that dovi is not in fact the worst teammate it is possible to have in a motogp top team. he just happened to find himself in a situation where he was teammates with two separate guys he did not click with at all, in situations that involved a pairing of riders who were (or had the potential to be) competitive with each other, as well as some proper stakes attached to the rivalry. in general, situational factors are going to determine this stuff more than anything else... and marc more often than not does have a reasonably good feel for picking his battles. he's flirted with the line, but he's mostly avoided crossing it. he hasn't had to
#'joan also i guess' hold on now anon that's his former teammate relationship that's most important to ME i love them...#elephant in the room is 'let's revisit this in 1.5 years time'. ik people will try to make that just about the vr46 factor but *shrug*#i kinda feel like maybe i should have mentioned in the casey/marc post that casey is arguably more of an outlier than marc is#like his alienation with the sport ran deep which is how you get him engaging in melandri slander who was pee one million in 2008#y'know casey/jorge ducati was a real possibility for a hot second and my take on that would ALSO be 'hm yeah maybe not <3'#ESPECIALLY given that it's quite likely the incoming jorge would've been paid way way more than casey was ('09 ducati... let's not even)#AND given how yamaha had repeatedly burnt casey and then handed jorge the seat on a silver platter... like idk man!!#genuinely fascinating '10 counterfactual... i do like casey/marc but i've also game planned casey/vale and casey/jorge i'm a completionist#(either dani or vale would've likely won the title in that timeline. but crucially casey/jorge interpersonally would've been. well)#//#brr brr#alien tag#batsplat responds#morale tag#i need an ask tag so badly but i can't be bothered to back tag... i'll do it at some point#in my notes i did once actually rank the aliens by how much they'd suck as teammates but the order might be a wee bit controversial#i'm sorry to the guy i ranked number one but he did objectively have the worst track record like... it has to be said#i think u have like. different modes right. where how bad u are as a teammate is scaled to how big the threat ur facing is#now EYE actually think marc's not got a particularly *great* neutral mode either but it's not bridge-burning mode#also what even is a burnt bridge... i mean god knows even valentino and jorge are taking photos together these days...#jorge's still conducting autopsies of old beef every fortnight but otoh he's joking about motegi on instagram which is crazyyyyyy#you genuinely cannot. CANNOT convince me that if marc/jorge had had a title fight as teammates it wouldn't have been a MESS#there is literally no way. none whatsoever#and if i said dani had a higher number of strained premier class teammate relationships than valentino did... what then...
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Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.
#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting#married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they'#think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i#said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with#a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive#ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could#talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed#i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man#and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in#front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?”#not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love#or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than#they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw#im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation.#and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down”#and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the#kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off#somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it.#my obligations are to god and myself and that's it#and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already#and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone#else has and that's it.#im done.#and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse.#i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit#and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding.#is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these#decision's for me?#ruined my whole day.
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*flips hair* I have never blocked anyone because I'm nosy, but I want to know #4!
What was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?
I am also nosy...to my detriment sometimes. Which is why it takes me so long to actually block people that I should probably have blocked a lot sooner. But I do have a story.
4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?
I've kind of vaguely mentioned this when asked before but I'll talk a tiny bit more specifically here. Not too specific because I'm not trying to start shit buuuuut....also they are definitely not the only person I've blocked but I think they might be the most recent one? I don't know.
About a year(?) ago I had to block a couple of people because they were starting to make me uncomfortable. I was being tagged in all sorts of posts (and to be clear the posts weren't bad, they were even positive! kind posts even) and something about what was happening was rubbing me the wrong way.
Actually before I keep talking about this, I feel like I need to talk a tiny bit about myself because it's important context. This also might surprise people considering how much I overshare on here, but I am, at my core, an extremely private person. I do not like attention. I get anxiety when my follower count goes up here (genuinely love all of my followers and this is definitely a me problem). I live in fear of being secretly recording for some stranger's tiktoks. I don't want my face seen by people. I do not wish to be perceived. It is 100% a trauma response and I am aware of all of this. And this is extremely important to why I blocked these people.
It is slightly easier for me on tumblr than it is in real life, but this is quite literally my safe space that I have built for myself. It's why I'm comfortable sharing things here. I have no issue being tagged in posts. I have no issue with people wanting to talk about things I've said or if they tag me because they want me to see something. So getting tagged in seemingly genuinely kind and positive posts should be fine, right?
Well, yes and no. The posts I was being tagged in felt...hollow to me. Like I was being tagged in an attempt to build a platform instead of because they actually wanted to tag me. I was being tagged in posts thanking me for participating in a fandom which kind of made it seem like the reason I was posting about anything was for accolades and that...is simply not why I'm here. I am not here to gain a following. I am not here to build a platform or to help others build a platform. I am here to post silly little posts about my shows and my life and also now keep track of character's glasses. If I wanted to build a platform, tumblr is not what I would be using (and honestly if I wanted to, I genuinely think I could be pretty successful at building a platform and gaining followers and other platforms. I would consider myself highly marketable if I wanted to go into that industry).
But the last straw for me? What finally did it? Why I finally blocked the people whose vibes have felt off for me and clearly did not know me well enough to know that doing what they were doing was quite literally the opposite of something I am comfortable with? It was when someone (again not naming names because I don't think they had bad intentions but were just so horrendously misguided as to allow themselves to ignorantly do this) who did not follow me, did not reblog any of my posts, did not like any of my posts, had never replied to any of my posts, nor had they ever interacted with my blog or with me in any type of way (I checked because I'm nosy enough and petty enough to have checked that) tagged me in a post. To thank me. For participating in a fandom. And I am not saying anyone has to do any of those things. But if you're gonna tag me to thank me for participating...perhaps maybe at least like one of my posts about the thing you're thanking me for?
To be clear, this was a show that a lot of people were talking about at the time. I was not the only person tagged in these posts. I was for sure not the only person talking about the show. In fact, I probably posted a tenth of what other people posted. If that. And my posts, honestly, weren't very well thought out or coherent. They were my typical little silly posts. And I know people like those. But they weren't the same as what other people were posting. And to be tagged by someone that seemed to only care when it was something that could gain them notes and followers instead of someone who actually enjoyed what I was saying? Felt strange to me. And rather than start beef with a stranger on the internet I blocked them.
Blocking them solved the issue that was making me uncomfortable as peacefully as I felt I could. They no longer had the ability to tag me in strangely performative posts and I didn't start yelling at a stranger and potentially ruin their day. Or start drama that no one else needed to be involved in. I did make a small post about it at the time mostly because I felt so weirded out and I did feel a little bit bad about blocking them. But it was such a quiet thing that no one noticed and everyone moved on with their lives. Made things happier. For me at least. Probably happier for them too.
Choose Violence Ask Game
#ask game#choose violence ask game#i also want to be clear that i love being tagged in things#this was an extremely weird situation all around and likely won't happen again#because with the exception of this every time i've been tagged has been a genuine tag#and it makes me giggle and kick my feet and makes my day every time#im typically thinking awwww someone thought of me i love it how nice#this was just...strange. the vibes were off and i had to peace out#it's like when my old roommate would throw parties and invite me and i would go cause i lived there#but even though his friends were nice they weren't my people so i would irish goodbye to my older brother's apartment#i'm a big fan of just...leaving. no need to explain why. especially if the why might hurt and it's not something that someone needs to hear#cause i'm sure most people do not have the same issues i have with being perceived
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hahaha hey you guys guess what. you'll never believe it. got the guy who's in charge of my fraud case on the phone and he was like "who'd you give one-time security codes to yesterday" and i was like "the guy who called me from the fraud department after they noticed a weird login in florida??" and he was like "that was the fuckin hacker. you got got. IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!" i handed my entire savings over to a fucking guy on the phone on a silver platter. like some kind of fuckin rube. bro
#IT IS OK THOUGH I HAVE BEEN SORTING IT OUT#account is LOCKED DOWN! card is DELETED! fraud paperwork has been FILED! i have requested a fraud alert AND credit freeze#from the NATIONAL CREDIT BUREAU!#a friend of mine is taking me to MAINE next saturday to go to the BANK! i sent an email to my landlord asking if i can pay rent by CHECK!#i went to my other bank and deposited my BONDS! so i have some MONEY! to pay RENT!#i also got a new debit card from them. and made sure i could use my old checks.#i also bought some STAMPS while i was out and a BIRTHDAY PRESENT for a FRIEND#now i am going to start switching over some auto deposits#so when i get my paycheck on tuesday i will actually get it.#i feel so STUPID but i think i have done all i can to fix this. i am feeling better about it#by next weekend i will have my money again. it's all fine#and hopefully next time i will not get got so easily. lol.#anyway dont get got by people pretending to be your bank i guess. i did think it was weird how many questions they asked but..#they ALWAYS ask lots of questions at the bank!!!!!#i got a text message FROM the bank saying they would be calling me soon and then the next call was from the scammer#and then like a half hour later got one from the bank and was confused bc they'd just 'called me'#anyway. it'll be fine. scary for a while but at least i have things i can do to make it better. it's all good#genuinely feeling like i ought to take out like a thousand bucks cash and keep it in my desk to replace my bonds tho tbh hahah#just in case something like this happens again. you never know. what would i have done if i DIDNT have those yknow#ok thank u all for being along on this journey with me
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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*walks in, covered in ash and emanating smoke, like a Looney Tunes character after surviving an explosion* hey guys i'm back
#rys.txt#uh. long ass tags that are mostly me venting below#second semester of college down and i think i did even worse than the first one#i've definitely failed at least one class but probably more than that. in fact i can only confidently say that i passed one class#i'm too scared to look at the grades on canvas. everything gets finalized on like. wednesday i think#i'm not getting worked up about it. my dad's gonna be pissed but you know what? i'm also pissed!#i am genuinely unable to focus on my work! i've genuinely tried everything i can think of to help and it has only barely helped!#every time i try to focus on my school work it feels like my brain just disconnects! no matter what the fuck i do!#and if i try to ask my dad for help he's like “just focus on your work” BITCH I TRIED! I'VE BEEN TRYING SO HARD! I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO!#so help me god i WILL be evaluated for adhd this summer otherwise i'm just not gonna fucking go back#MY BROTHER IN CHRIST THERE IS CLEARLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME AND THERE HAS BEEN FOR YEARS!!#SORRY YOU WERE NEVER AROUND AND NEVER INTERACTED WITH ME ENOUGH TO SEE IT!! SORRY I LEARNED TO MASK AROUND YOU FOR FEAR OF BEING TOLD OFF!!#ok. venting about my father in the tags aside. things are looking up for me now!! :D#school is over! i don't have to worry about that for another 4 months! my friends are back in town! i have time alone during the day!#I HAVE A DISC DRIVE FOR MY COMPUTER I CAN BURN CDS NOW!! I'M SO HYPE I'VE WANTED THIS FOR SO LONG#I'M LITERALLY GOING THROUGH THIS BIG BOX OF OLD CDS AND FLOPPY DISKS AND SHIT FROM OUR BASEMENT AND THERES BLANKS I CAN BURN!!#MY MENTAL HEALTH IS NO LONGER TOTALLY IN THE SHITTER BABY!! I'M BACK!!
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man they rlly said we are going to make your grocery store experience so miserable and hangry bc the rest of your day will be so overwhelmingly good we need to balance it out brother. and wow it rlly was great what a 180
#lee’s bullshit#art was great pre grocery store too my prints turned out rlly good and I started on my next project#then in studio I had three separate incredibly kind interactions regarding my project#first where a guy referenced a project I did FRESHMAN YEAR that I didn’t even remember to back me up I was so honored#genuinely like wow so so cool to hear that project stuck w him like that . what an angel#the second was when everyone in the group was arguing over a different local building during my presentation#a guy in the front turned to me and started quietly asking me questions about my design and giving advice on what I should do next#which was also so appreciated bc everyone had been talking over me and he had good points too#then third once I was done and filling up my water my old friend passed me on the stairs#and said come see me I have a building you need to see for your project#which was also a) so cool that he’d think of smth for me and b) v sweet since we haven’t been close since first semester#and he showed me a building w rlly cool unique comments on how I could apply parts of it which I rlly appreciated#then we talked abt radio too bc I had been thinking abt asking him and this opened that door !! so so great#this semester has been so much better in terms of making friends and talking to people thank fucking god#and then in my history class I knew two obscure answers (random building and doctor who (thank u smith)) which was great#and my class crush is back in that class which is also great 👍#overall big improvement to my day thank you everyone :]#if you read this far I love and miss you all <3 take care#ALSO found out our friend who came from scotland to work in my town this summer is going to come back next year thank god !!!!!#another huge win for the me community in so happy <33
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It's Time To Investigate SevenArt.ai
sevenart.ai is a website that uses ai to generate images.
Except, that's not all it can do.
It can also overlay ai filters onto images to create the illusion that the algorithm created these images.
And its primary image source is Tumblr.
It scrapes through the site for recent images that are at least 10 days old and has some notes attached to it, as well as copying the tags to make the unsuspecting user think that the post was from a genuine user.
No image is safe. Art, photography, screenshots, you name it.
Initially I thought that these are bots that just repost images from their site as well as bastardizations of pictures across tumblr, until a user by the name of @nataliedecorsair discovered that these "bots" can also block users and restrict replies.
Not only that, but these bots do not procreate and multiply like most bots do. Or at least, they have.
The following are the list of bots that have been found on this very site. Brace yourself. It's gonna be a long one:
@giannaaziz1998blog
@kennedyvietor1978blog
@nikb0mh6bl
@z4uu8shm37
@xguniedhmn
@katherinrubino1958blog
@3neonnightlifenostalgiablog
@cyberneticcreations58blog
@neomasteinbrink1971blog
@etharetherford1958blog
@punxajfqz1
@camicranfill1967blog
@1stellarluminousechoblog
@whwsd1wrof
@bnlvi0rsmj
@steampunkstarshipsafari90blog
@surrealistictechtales17blog
@2steampunksavvysiren37blog
@krispycrowntree
@voucwjryey
@luciaaleem1961blog
@qcmpdwv9ts
@2mplexltw6
@sz1uwxthzi
@laurenesmock1972blog
@rosalinetritsch1992blog
@chereesteinkirchner1950blog
@malindamadaras1996blog
@1cyberneticdreamscapehubblog
@neomasteinbrink1971blog
@neonfuturecityblog
@olindagunner1986blog
@neonnomadnirvanablog
@digitalcyborgquestblog
@freespiritfusionblog
@piacarriveau1990blog
@3technoartisticvisionsblog
@wanderlustwineblissblog
@oyqjfwb9nz
@maryannamarkus1983blog
@lashelldowhower2000blog
@ovibigrqrw
@3neonnightlifenostalgiablog
@ywldujyr6b
@giannaaziz1998blog
@yudacquel1961blog
@neotechcreationsblog
@wildernesswonderquest87blog
@cybertroncosmicflow93blog
@emeldaplessner1996blog
@neuralnetworkgallery78blog
@dunstanrohrich1957blog
@juanitazunino1965blog
@natoshaereaux1970blog
@aienhancedaestheticsblog
@techtrendytreks48blog
@cgvlrktikf
@digitaldimensiondioramablog
@pixelpaintedpanorama91blog
@futuristiccowboyshark
@digitaldreamscapevisionsblog
@janishoppin1950blog
The oldest ones have been created in March, started scraping in June/July, and later additions to the family have been created in July.
So, I have come to the conclusion that these accounts might be run by a combination of bot and human. Cyborg, if you will.
But it still doesn't answer my main question:
Who is running the whole operation?
The site itself gave us zero answers to work with.
No copyright, no link to the engine where the site is being used on, except for the sign in thingy (which I did.)
I gave the site a fake email and a shitty password.
Turns out it doesn't function like most sites that ask for an email and password.
Didn't check the burner email, the password isn't fully dotted and available for the whole world to see, and, and this is the important thing...
My browser didn't detect that this was an email and password thingy.
And there was no log off feature.
This could mean two things.
Either we have a site that doesn't have a functioning email and password database, or that we have a bunch of gullible people throwing their email and password in for people to potentially steal.
I can't confirm or deny these facts, because, again, the site has little to work with.
The code? Generic as all hell.
Tried searching for more information about this site, like the server it's on, or who owned the site, or something. ANYTHING.
Multiple sites pulled me in different directions. One site said it originates in Iceland. Others say its in California or Canada.
Luckily, the server it used was the same. Its powered by Cloudflare.
Unfortunately, I have no idea what to do with any of this information.
If you have any further information about this site, let me know.
Until there is a clear answer, we need to keep doing what we are doing.
Spread the word and report about these cretins.
If they want attention, then they are gonna get the worst attention.
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for whom good omens is being written
Hey maggots and the rest of the fandom, it's the Good Omens Mascot here. Today I read a post about this tweet:
The accompanying video genuinely made me cry. And I've been thinking about this for a long while, as far back as February, when I saw a lot of conflicting opinions on what people wanted from the third season. It really is true that no matter what you do, some people will be dissatisfied. But what matters is that Neil is writing this for Terry.
And I was reminded of some paragraphs from the Good Omens TV Companion, which I'd read in Amazon's sample excerpt of the book. I know this is a long post, but I really truly do think you all need to read these, I've done my best to select only the most important parts. Here you go:
'His Alzheimer's started progressing harder and faster than either of us had expected,' says Neil, referring to a period in which Terry recognized that despite everything he could no longer write. 'We had been friends for over thirty years, and during that time he had never asked me for anything. Then, out of the blue, I received an email from him with a special request. It read: “Listen, I know how busy you are. I know you don't have time to do this, but I want you to write the script for Good Omens. You are the only human being on this planet who has the passion, love and understanding for the old girl that I do. You have to do this for me so that I can see it." And I thought, “OK, if you put it like that then I'll do it."
'I had adapted my own work in the past, writing scripts for Death: The High Cost of Living and Sandman, but not a lot else was seen. I'd also written two episodes of Doctor Who, and so I felt like I knew what I was doing. Usually, having written something once I'd rather start something new, but having a very sick co-author saying I had to do this?' Neil spreads his hands as if the answer is clear to see. 'I had to step up to the plate.' A pause, then: 'All this took place in autumn 2014, around the time that the BBC radio adaptation of Good Omens was happening,' he continues, referring to the production scripted and co-directed by Dirk Maggs and starring Peter Serafinowicz and Mark Heap. ‘Terry had talked me into writing the TV adaptation, and I thought OK, I have a few years. Only I didn't have a few years,' he says. 'Terry was unconscious by December and dead by March.'
He pauses again. 'His passing took all of us by surprise,' Neil remembers. 'About a week later, I started writing, and it was very sad. The moments Terry felt closest to me were the moments I would get stuck during the writing process. In the old days, when we wrote the novel, I would send him what I'd done or phone him up. And he would say, "Aahh, the problem, Grasshopper, is in the way you phrase the question," and I would reply, "Just tell me what to do!" which somehow always started a conversation. 'In writing the script, there were times I'd really want to talk to Terry, and also places where I'd figure something out and do something really clever, and I would want to share it with him. So, instead, I would text Terry's former personal assistant, Rob Wilkins, now his representative on Earth. It was the nearest thing I had.'
(...) As Neil himself recognizes, this is an adaptation built upon the confidence that comes from three decades of writing for page and screen. But for all the wisdom of experience, he found that above all one factor guided him throughout the process. 'Terry isn't here, which leaves me as the guardian of the soul of the story,' he explains. 'It's funny because sometimes I found myself defending Terry's bits harder or more passionately than I would defend my own bits. Take Agnes Nutter,' he says, referring to what has become a key scene in the adaptation in which the seventeenth-century author of the book of prophecies foretelling the coming of the Antichrist is burned at the stake. ‘It was a huge, complicated and incredibly expensive shoot, with bonfires built and primed to explode as well as huge crowds in costume. It had to feel just like an English village in the 1640s, and of course everyone asked if there was a cheap way of doing it. 'One suggestion was that we could tell the story using old-fashioned woodcuts and have the narrator take us through what happened, but I just thought, “No��. Because I had brought aspects of the story like Crowley and the baby swap along to the mix, and Terry created Agnes Nutter. So, if I had cut out Agnes then I wouldn't be doing right by the person who gave me this job. Terry would've rolled over in his grave.'
And, finally, this paragraph:
"Once again, Neil cites the absence of his co-writer as his drive to ensure that Good Omens translated to the screen and remained true to the original vision. 'Terry's last request to me was to make this something he would be proud of. And so that has been my job.'"
I think that's so heartwrenchingly beautiful, and so I wanted you all to read this, too, just in case you (like me) don't have the Good Omens TV Companion. It adds another layer of depth and emotion to this already complex and amazing story that we all know and love.
Share this post, if you can, please, so that more people can read these excerpts :")
Tagging @neil-gaiman, @fuckyeahgoodomens and @orpiknight, even if you've definitely read these before :)
#good omens#neil gaiman#sir terry pratchett#good omens show#good omens fandom#good omens mascot#weirdly specific but ok#asmi
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The final part for The House of Glass! Everyone has a lot to figure out, but progress takes time. Follows from this. This was my first ever complete comic from start to finish, I hope you guys enjoyed the journey!
If you've enjoyed this comic, please consider donating to Aya Yasser, a 19 year old university student from the University of Palestine. She had to pause her studies due to attacks on Gaza. Her 55 year old father is ill and she is trying to evacuate him and her brothers.
You can find her blog @samaagaza
It's like two in the morning right now so I might be a bit incoherent, cw for discussions of racism, homophobia, biphobia, sinophobia and classism
I've really wanted to write Chang as someone who's made to be a perpetual outsider. As a Chinese person born in the UK I've always been made to feel like a foreigner no matter where I go - obviously I am a foreigner abroad but I'm also treated as such in the very country I was born and raised in. I think a lot of east Asian people can relate to being treated as a strange exotic foreigner first and a person second.
As a working class orphan he would probably have been treated as disposable by society at large too. As soon as he's rescued by Tintin in the Blue Lotus he immediately asks why Tintin bothered saving him, and in his letter to Tintin in Tintin in Tibet he writes that he's unworthy of his uncle's hopsitality. We don't get much from Chang as he doesn't make many appearances but it seems he's internalised strong feelings of a lack of self worth. Tintin may have been the first person to recognise his humanity since Chang's birth family passed.
Being queer is also very isolating at first. You're not born into a culture you can reference or make sense of your experiences initially, it's something you have to seek out. I wanted to explore learning to love yourself through others. We're all weird to some degree, we're all in this together!
I genuinely have no clue how I'd follow this up, I have ideas for future stories but I'm not sure what would follow directly from here!
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Dirty Laundry
Summary: Life with two toddlers has taken a toll on your sex life for the past few weeks, but after a surprisingly calm morning, you and Javi find a creative solution to solve your problem.
Word Count: 2.8K
Pairing: Husband!Javier Peña x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n)
Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (do better, but also, who am I to say?) vaginal fingering, paise kink, a breeding kink so dangerous that you may get pregnant just from reading, creampie, cum play, a loud washer and dryer, no actual laundry accomplished, domestic girl dad Javi, you'll always be famous
A/N: idk who unlocked my cell while I was ovulating, but once again I have escaped, and once again, we're makin' babies. I think I've convinced myself I don't know how to write anything else, and for that, I am genuinely sorry. If wanting to give Javier Peña a football team worth of kids is a crime, then lock me up and throw away the goddamn key 🤠
Can be read as a standalone or as a part of the Never Too Late Series!
For as much as you loved your daughters, it was safe to say that for the past two weeks, your pair of rambunctious toddlers had been doing very little for your sex life.
Your 4 year old Lucy had been going through a phase of having nightmares every night, and somehow ending up in you and Javi’s bed no matter what you tried. That, combined with trying to potty train your 2 year old, Elliot, (who was nowhere close to being the breeze her older sister it was when it came to the matter), on top of preschool, work, and life in general, you and Javi had barely gotten so much as a kiss in, let alone some quality time together.
It had been your hope to start trying for baby number three, but after 2 months of negative pregnancy tests and another month of complete chaos, despite your best intentions, “trying” had very much taken a backseat in your mental to-do list.
But this morning when you woke up, it was almost as if a wave of calm had washed over your house to reset the state of disarray you had been in the past few weeks- Both girls had slept through the night in their own beds, had woken up in good spirits, Elliot asked to use the bathroom multiple times, and both had been happy to play in the living room together quietly as you worked on catching up on some much needed laundry.
So calm, in fact, that Javi was almost worried when he came downstairs for work to hear near silence, apart from the occasional giggles from the girls as they arranged their Fisher Price Little People in their Play Barn and the washer running in the background.
“Hi Daddy!” Lucy cooed, toddling over to her dad, wrapping her arms around his waist as Elliot quickly followed behind, perching on his leg like a koala.
“Buenos días, niñas. (Good morning, girls).” Javi grinned, squatting down to kiss the wild, sleepy curls of his daughters’ heads, still slightly confused by the tranquil state of the house. “Where’s Momma?”
“Washing stinky socks.” Lucy giggled, pinching her nose and scrunching her face, pretending to have smelled something bad.
“Yeah, stinky socks.” Elliot echoed, sticking out her tongue.
“Oh yeah? Is it because my pollitas (little chickens) have stinky, smelly feet?” Javi teased, wrapping his arms around the girls, pulling them close to his chest as he tickled their sides, the three erupting in laughter and giggles.
“What’s goin’ on out here, huh?” You grinned, stepping out of the laundry room with your arms playfully crossed against your chest to see your husband and daughters in a tickle tackle pile on the living room floor.
“Daddy said we have stinky feet! Daddy’s got stinky feet, not me and Elliot.” Lucy protested.
“I think you and Daddy both have stinky feet, Lucy Lu, and your dirty laundry proves it.” You smiled, watching Javi give one last big kiss to each of the girls before pushing up off the floor with a grunt, making his way over to you. “Good morning, Mr. Stinky Feet.”
“Hey, c’mon now. I can’t have you all gangin’ up on me.” Javi pouted through his smirk, wrapping his arm around your waist as his lips softly met yours, his words sweet and low as they danced against your skin. “Good morning, Hermosa.”
His kiss lingered just long enough to send butterflies swirling through your stomach, biting down on your lip to try and keep your heart beating any faster than it already was. You stood there for another moment, eyes locking with his as the grip around your waist tightened just subtly enough to hint his mind was in the same place as yours.
You were finding a way to finally have sex this morning.
You could feel the arousal already beginning to pool in your core, swallowing hard as Javi tilted his head and raised his eyebrows at you while his hand slid further down your waist towards your ass, trying to devise a plan for the two of you to be alone long enough to do what you had both been so desperately craving these past few weeks.
As you turned your head back over your shoulder in search of ideas, a devilish grin spread across your face, looking back to Javi to gently tug on the maroon tie dangling from his neck, twisting the end through your fingers.
“I think I really need help with the laundry before you leave for work.” You mewled, leaning in to press another kiss to his plush lips, followed by another on his cheek and neck, Javi letting a soft groan rumble in his chest.
“Oh Fuck, baby. What do we do about the girls?” He asked quietly, trying his best to keep his composure as the dark brown of his eyes grew hungrier with want.
“Snack and a movie? There’s already a baby monitor out in the living room, and if we put on “The Little Mermaid”, it should buy us enough time.” You nodded in reassurance of your own idea, already growing antsy with anticipation.
“God, I love you.” Javi smirked, giving you one more kiss and a firm squeeze of your ass before breaking away towards the kitchen so you could execute your plan.
“Hey girls?” you called, making your way towards the living room where they were back to playing, “Daddy needs to help Mommy with some, um- laundry. So if we put on “The Little Mermaid”, can you show us what big girls you are and let you watch the movie all by yourselves?” You asked, doing your best to play up your request.
“Yes, yes, yes!” Elliot squealed, clapping and stomping her feet. “Wittle Mermaid!”
“Okay, go get your blankets and sit on the couch and Daddy’s gonna bring you a snack to watch the movie with.”
“Yay! Movie time, movie time!” Lucy shrieked as the girls ran to go grab their things, plopping themselves on to the respective corners of the couch. While you searched for the VHS in the entertainment center, Javi returned from the kitchen with two much bigger than needed bowls of Teddy Grahams, turning on the TV as you pushed the tape into the receiver and pressed play.
With the bright blue Disney logo appearing across the screen and your daughters both happily snuggled with their snacks on the sofa, you and Javi gave each other the silent nod of approval, slowly backing away towards the laundry room while the girls sat in content and entranced silence.
After one last peek, you carefully closed and locked the laundry room door behind you, quickly followed by turning on both the washing machine and the dryer, trying to do yourself any favors you could by drowning out any suspicious sounds.
“Good?” Javi asked once more for reassurance, feeling his slacks get tighter and tighter around his crotch by the second as he waited for your response.
Without a single word, your lips were crashing into his, a messy dance of tongues and teeth ensuing between you as your bodies bumped against the laundry room counter, limbs tangled together in a frantic race to remove clothes.
“Fuck, I missed you. Missed this.” Javi groaned, helping you slide your top over your head and unclip your bra as he nipped at your neck, pushing your back against the dryer and caging your body under him.
“I know, baby, me t-too.” You whimpered, reaching out to undo Javi’s belt buckle, shoving his pants down to his thighs, followed by his boxers, freeing his cock as it slapped against the dark hairs on the happy trail of his stomach. “Missed having your big dick inside me.”
“Fuck.” Javi swore under his breath as you reached out to stroke him, swiping your thumb over his weeping tip to rub the precum up and down his shaft as he shoved your the waistband of your pants and underwear down your hips just far enough to let them fall to the floor around your ankles.
As much as you both desperately wanted to take your time, worshiping every inch of each other’s bodies until you had nothing left to give, you knew time was not on your side. After a few more strokes, you pulled back, letting Javi snake his hand against your body to slide between your legs, the slightest graze of his fingertips already making you shutter with need.
At this point, even after the few weeks it had been without Javi inside you, you were wet enough that you could have taken him without any warm up, your core dripping with your arousal to the point it was smearing the inside of your thighs with its shiny coating. But even with your cunt soaking wet and time working against you, Javi couldn’t help but drag his fingers through your folds, curling to push up into your tight hole and prod against your g-spot.
“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re so wet. This all for me, Momma? Missed me fillin’ you up with my cock? Missed me fucking you full of my cum, huh baby?” Javi growled, his words shooting straight to your cunt, making you clamp down tighter around his fingers and your clit throb with intensity.
It had been a minute since baby making had been at the forefront of your mind, but his question set off something animalistic in the both of you, knowing that right now could give you a chance at baby number three that you had been wishing for.
“Y-yes, Javi, fuck- want you to fill me up, baby. Want you to fill me up until you fuck a baby into me.”
It was then that Javi couldn’t have been more thankful that you had turned on the washer and dryer to try and drown out your noise, because the groan he let escape from his parted lips was much louder than he intended.
But then again, there were few things in this world that turned him on more than you begging him to knock you up, so what did he expect?
Scooping his arms under your thighs, Javi hoisted you on top of the dryer, your ass hitting the cold, vibrating metal with a thud as your lips collided again with desperate ferocity, muffled moans escaping from your mouths.
“Dirty fuckin’ girl. Want me to knock you up again, Momma? Give you another baby?” Javi smirked, reaching to line his cock up with your entrance, swiping his tip through your folds to collect your slick and coat it along his length before he pushed inside you, sinking deeper and deeper until he bottomed out, hips flush with yours.
Words couldn’t describe how much you had missed the sweet stretch and sting of Javi’s fullness, each inch of him feeling better than the last, sobbing out as his tip kissed your cervix, all inhibitions of self-composure completely tossed out the window. Still sunk deep in your cunt, Javi’s hand shot over your mouth, stifling your cries in his palm.
“Shhhhhh, I know, Osita. You gotta keep quiet though, baby.”
You nodded frantically in compliance, Javi’s hand dropping to grip around your waist as you tried to catch your breath. “M-move, Javi, please.” Your whimpering request borderlining pathetic with how badly you needed him.
“You promise you’re gonna be a good girl and keep quiet?”
“Mhmmmm. I promise, baby, please.”
With that, Javi’s hips began to snap, dragging his cock in and out of you at a dangerous pace, coating the walls with the sounds of the wet sounds of your cunt and slapping skin, muffled by the washer and dryer.
“Oh my God, Javi. Fuck. Fuck, you feel so good.” You whined, locking your legs behind the small of Javi’s back, keeping him as close to you as possible as he fucked in and out of you. You draped your arms around his shoulders, fingers burying themselves in the dark curls at the nape of his neck.
The closeness had the hairs at the base of his cock rubbing deliciously against your clit, adding to the tension beginning to build at the base of your spine, both of you knowing it wouldn’t take long to get where you needed to go after weeks without being able to have each other like this.
Javi could feel it too, his balls beginning to tense with each pump, using every ounce of self control to keep from preemptively spilling into you, his hands digging into the soft flesh of your hips and thighs, holding on to you like his life depended on it.
“Jesus, Fuck- Fuck, I missed this tight little pussy so much. Gonna cum so deep inside you. So deep it’s gotta fucking take. God, you’re so fucking sexy when you’re pregnant. I swear I’ll give you as many babies as you want, Hermosa.” Javi babbled, biting down on his lip as he pounded into you, reaching one of his hands down to circle at your wet, puffy clit, aching to be relieved from all the built up tension.
At this point, you were so drunk on pleasure that you could barely remember your own name, feeling your orgasm begin to build through every inch of your body in a way that had you seeing stars, digging your fingernails into Javi’s shoulders and burying your face in the crook of his neck to keep from crying out his name, forcing yourself to whisper incoherent sweet nothings against his skin.
“P-please, Javi. F-fill me up. Oh shit- Fuck, baby, I’m so close.”
Javi’s thrusts became sloppier and more erratic, fingers rubbing your clit with the perfect amount of pressure to coax your orgasm out of you before he followed suit, gritting his teeth and furrowing his brow in intense concentration.
“That’s it, baby. Cum all over me. Soak my fucking cock before I fuck you full of me and knock you up. C’mon, Momma.”
Suddenly, your orgasm crashed through you, lighting your body up like a goddamn Christmas tree, every inch of your body radiating with bliss as you clamped down around Javi’s cock, biting down on his shoulder as you came to try and stifle your cries.
Javi was only moments behind you, letting out a low grunt with the final sutter of his hips as he came, coating your walls with his warm spend, fucking it into with every ounce he had left until he had milked himself dry.
Your bodies collapsed into each other, rising and falling in sync with heavy breaths like you had just finished the last mile of a marathon and collapsed at the finish line, damp and sticky with your sweat.
As much as Javi didn’t want to pull out, he could feel his cock beginning to soften and the mixture of your spend leaking from your hole. Refusing to let a drop go to waste, he pulled out of you, a groan rumbling low in his chest as he wrapped his hand around his length, dragging his tip up through your folds and collecting the cum that had been dripping out. Taking the wet mess he had gathered with his cock, he pushed himself back into you, slowly thrusting in and out of you, a devilish smirk spreading across his face at the absolutely obscene sound coming from between your legs.
“Promise me,” Javi gulped between pants, finally pulling out of you again, “Promise we never go this long without having sex again. Holy Fuck.”
“Promise.” You couldn’t help but giggle in agreement, coming down from your blissed out high. “God, that was the longest two weeks ever. Don’t know why we didn’t think of this sooner.”
“Because we’ve been sleep deprived and exhausted, and our little monstros (monsters) have been giving us a run for our money.” Javi chuckled, reaching behind you to grab a towel from the cabinet above the dryer, quickly rinsing it in the sink before wiping you up and helping you find all of your clothes.
“Are we crazy for wanting another one?” You asked, looking down at your stomach, thinking about the ramifications of what you had just done.
“Maybe. But you drive me so fucking crazy, we may end up with 10 before you know it.”
“Javi! Dear lord, we are not having 10 kids, you psycho.” You laughed, playfully slapping your husband on the shoulder.
“Stop being so hot and I’ll stop knockin’ you up.” Javi smirked, raising his eyebrows at you as you rolled your eyes at him knowing damn well you’d have a whole army of his kids if he really wanted.
“You’re ridiculous, I hope you know that. Alright, you need to get your ass to work and I need to feed the gremlins before I drop Lucy off at preschool. Let’s go, cowboy.” You grinned, playfully smacking Javi on the ass, giving him a quick kiss as you made your way towards the door. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Osita. I gotta remember to call my dad on the way into work.”
“Call your dad? Why?”
“To see if Abuelo can take the girls this weekend so you and I can catch up on a lot of laundry.”
Taglist:
@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @bbiophiliaa @purpleprincess75 @angelofsmalldeath-codeine
@pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24
@3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85
@partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo
@endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @milly-louise
@jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled
@pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @vee-bees-blog
@hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @msmorningstaarr
@amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild
@copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog
@samgirl4life @pigeonmama @survivingandenduring @itsokbbygrl @javierpena-inatacvestnotifs
@purpleprincess75
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction#narcos fanfiction#pedro pascal character#javier peña narcos#javi pena#javi peña x reader#javier pena#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena fic#javier pena fluff#javier pena imagine#javier pena narcos#javier pena smut#javier pena x f!reader#javier pena x female reader#javier pena x reader#javier pena x you#javier peña#javier peña fanfiction#javier peña smut#javier peña x f!reader#javier peña x female reader#javier peña x reader#javier peña x you#joel miller smut#pedro pascal characters#jose pedro balmaceda pascal#pedro pascal fanfic
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How can you consider yourself any sort of leftist when you defend AI art bullshit? You literally simp for AI techbros and have the gall to pretend you're against big corporations?? Get fucked
I don't "defend" AI art. I think a particular old post of mine that a lot of people tend to read in bad faith must be making the rounds again lmao.
Took me a good while to reply to this because you know what? I decided to make something positive out of this and use this as an opportunity to outline what I ACTUALLY believe about AI art. If anyone seeing this decides to read it in good or bad faith... Welp, your choice I guess.
I have several criticisms of the way the proliferation of AI art generators and LLMs is making a lot of things worse. Some of these are things I have voiced in the past, some of these are things I haven't until now:
Most image and text AI generators are fine-tuned to produce nothing but the most agreeable, generically pretty content slop, pretty much immediately squandering their potential to be used as genuinely interesting artistic tools with anything to offer in terms of a unique aesthetic experience (AI video still manages to look bizarre and interesting but it's getting there too)
In the entertainment industry and a lot of other fields, AI image generation is getting incorporated into production pipelines in ways that lead to the immiseration of working artists, being used to justify either lower wages or straight-up layoffs, and this is something that needs to be fought against. That's why I unconditionally supported the SAG-AFTRA strikes last year and will unconditionally support any collective action to address AI art as a concrete labor issue
In most fields where it's being integrated, AI art is vastly inferior to human artists in any use case where you need anything other than to make a superficially pretty picture really fast. If you need to do anything like ask for revisions or minor corrections, give very specific descriptions of how objects and people are interacting with each other, or just like. generate several pictures of the same thing and have them stay consistent with each other, you NEED human artists and it's preposterous to think they can be replaced by AI.
There is a lot of art on the internet that consists of the most generically pretty, cookie-cutter anime waifu-adjacent slop that has zero artistic or emotional value to either the people seeing it or the person churning it out, and while this certainly was A Thing before the advent of AI art generators, generative AI has made it extremely easy to become the kind of person who churns it out and floods online art spaces with it.
Similarly, LLMs make it extremely easy to generate massive volumes of texts, pages, articles, listicles and what have you that are generic vapid SEO-friendly pap at best and bizzarre nonsense misinformation at worst, drowning useful information in a sea of vapid noise and rendering internet searches increasingly useless.
The way LLMs are being incorporated into customer service and similar services not only, again, encourages further immiseration of customer service workers, but it's also completely useless for most customers.
A very annoyingly vocal part the population of AI art enthusiasts, fanatics and promoters do tend to talk about it in a way that directly or indirectly demeans the merit and skill of human artists and implies that they think of anyone who sees anything worthwile in the process of creation itself rather than the end product as stupid or deluded.
So you can probably tell by now that I don't hold AI art or writing in very high regard. However (and here's the part that'll get me called an AI techbro, or get people telling me that I'm just jealous of REAL artists because I lack the drive to create art of my own, or whatever else) I do have some criticisms of the way people have been responding to it, and have voiced such criticisms in the past.
I think a lot of the opposition to AI art has critstallized around unexamined gut reactions, whipping up a moral panic, and pressure to outwardly display an acceptable level of disdain for it. And in particular I think this climate has made a lot of people very prone to either uncritically entertain and adopt regressive ideas about Intellectual Propety, OR reveal previously held regressive ideas about Intellectual Property that are now suddenly more socially acceptable to express:
(I wanna preface this section by stating that I'm a staunch intellectual property abolitionist for the same reason I'm a private property abolitionist. If you think the existence of intellectual property is a good thing, a lot of my ideas about a lot of stuff are gonna be unpalatable to you. Not much I can do about it.)
A lot of people are suddenly throwing their support behind any proposal that promises stricter copyright regulations to combat AI art, when a lot of these also have the potential to severely udnermine fair use laws and fuck over a lot of independent artist for the benefit of big companies.
It was very worrying to see a lot of fanfic authors in particular clap for the George R R Martin OpenAI lawsuit because well... a lot of them don't realize that fanfic is a hobby that's in a position that's VERY legally precarious at best, that legally speaking using someone else's characters in your fanfic is as much of a violation of copyright law as straight up stealing entire passages, and that any regulation that can be used against the latter can be extended against the former.
Similarly, a lot of artists were cheering for the lawsuit against AI art models trained to mimic the style of specific artists. Which I agree is an extremely scummy thing to do (just like a human artist making a living from ripping off someone else's work is also extremely scummy), but I don't think every scummy act necessarily needs to be punishable by law, and some of them would in fact leave people worse off if they were. All this to say: If you are an artist, and ESPECIALLY a fan artist, trust me. You DON'T wanna live in a world where there's precedent for people's artstyles to be considered intellectual property in any legally enforceable way. I know you wanna hurt AI art people but this is one avenue that's not worth it.
Especially worrying to me as an indie musician has been to see people mention the strict copyright laws of the music industry as a positive thing that they wanna emulate. "this would never happen in the music industry because they value their artists copyright" idk maybe this is a the grass is greener type of situation but I'm telling you, you DON'T wanna live in a world where copyright law in the visual arts world works the way it does in the music industry. It's not worth it.
I've seen at least one person compare AI art model training to music sampling and say "there's a reason why they cracked down on sampling" as if the death of sampling due to stricter copyright laws was a good thing and not literally one of the worst things to happen in the history of music which nearly destroyed several primarily black music genres. Of course this is anecdotal because it's just One Guy I Saw Once, but you can see what I mean about how uncritical support for copyright law as a tool against AI can lead people to adopt increasingly regressive ideas about copyright.
Similarly, I've seen at least one person go "you know what? Collages should be considered art theft too, fuck you" over an argument where someone else compared AI art to collages. Again, same point as above.
Similarly, I take issue with the way a lot of people seem EXTREMELY personally invested in proving AI art is Not Real Art. I not only find this discussion unproductive, but also similarly dangerously prone to validating very reactionary ideas about The Nature Of Art that shouldn't really be entertained. Also it's a discussion rife with intellectual dishonesty and unevenly applied definition and standards.
When a lot of people present the argument of AI art not being art because the definition of art is this and that, they try to pretend that this is the definition of art the've always operated under and believed in, even when a lot of the time it's blatantly obvious that they're constructing their definition on the spot and deliberately trying to do so in such a way that it doesn't include AI art.
They never succeed at it, btw. I've seen several dozen different "AI art isn't art because art is [definition]". I've seen exactly zero of those where trying to seriously apply that definition in any context outside of trying to prove AI art isn't art doesn't end up in it accidentally excluding one or more non-AI artforms, usually reflecting the author's blindspots with regard to the different forms of artistic expression.
(However, this is moot because, again, these are rarely definitions that these people actually believe in or adhere to outside of trying to win "Is AI art real art?" discussions.)
Especially worrying when the definition they construct is built around stuff like Effort or Skill or Dedication or The Divine Human Spirit. You would not be happy about the kinds of art that have traditionally been excluded from Real Art using similar definitions.
Seriously when everyone was celebrating that the Catholic Church came out to say AI art isn't real art and sharing it as if it was validating and not Extremely Worrying that the arguments they'd been using against AI art sounded nearly identical to things TradCaths believe I was like. Well alright :T You can make all the "I never thought I'd die fighting side by side with a catholic" legolas and gimli memes you want, but it won't change the fact that the argument being made by the catholic church was a profoundly conservative one and nearly identical to arguments used to dismiss the artistic merit of certain forms of "degenerate" art and everyone was just uncritically sharing it, completely unconcerned with what kind of worldview they were lending validity to by sharing it.
Remember when the discourse about the Gay Sex cats pic was going on? One of the things I remember the most from that time was when someone went "Tell me a definition of art that excludes this picture without also excluding Fountain by Duchamp" and how just. Literally no one was able to do it. A LOT of people tried to argue some variation of "Well, Fountain is art and this image isn't because what turns fountain into art is Intent. Duchamp's choice to show a urinal at an art gallery as if it was art confers it an element of artistic intent that this image lacks" when like. Didn't by that same logic OP's choice to post the image on tumblr as if it was art also confer it artistic intent in the same way? Didn't that argument actually kinda end up accidentally validating the artistic status of every piece of AI art ever posted on social media? That moment it clicked for me that a lot of these definitions require applying certain concepts extremely selectively in order to make sense for the people using them.
A lot of people also try to argue it isn't Real Art based on the fact that most AI art is vapid but like. If being vapid definitionally excludes something from being art you're going to have to exclude a whooole lot of stuff along with it. AI art is vapid. A lot of art is too, I don't think this argument works either.
Like, look, I'm not really invested in trying to argue in favor of The Artistic Merits of AI art but I also find it extremely hard to ignore how trying to categorically define AI art as Not Real Art not only is unproductive but also requires either a) applying certain parts of your definition of art extremely selectively, b) constructing a definition of art so convoluted and full of weird caveats as to be functionally useless, or c) validating extremely reactionary conservative ideas about what Real Art is.
Some stray thoughts that don't fit any of the above sections.
I've occassionally seen people respond to AI art being used for shitposts like "A lot of people have affordable commissions, you could have paid someone like $30 to draw this for you instead of using the plagiarism algorithm and exploiting the work of real artists" and sorry but if you consider paying an artist a rate that amounts to like $5 for several hours of work a LESS exploitative alternative I think you've got something fucked up going on with your priorities.
Also it's kinda funny when people comment on the aforementioned shitposts with some variation of "see, the usage of AI art robs it of all humor because the thing that makes shitposts funny is when you consider the fact that someone would spend so much time and effort in something so stupid" because like. Yeah that is part of the humor SOMETIMES but also people share and laugh at low effort shitposts all the time. Again you're constructing a definition that you don't actually believe in anywhere outside of this type of conversations. Just say you don't like that it's AI art because you think it's morally wrong and stop being disingenuous.
So yeah, this is pretty much everything I believe about the topic.
I don't "defend" AI art, but my opposition to it is firmly rooted in my principles, and that means I refuse to uncritically accept any anti-AI art argument that goes against those same principles.
If you think not accepting and parroting every Anti-AI art argument I encounter because some of them are ideologically rooted in things I disagree with makes me indistinguishable from "AI techbros" you're working under a fucked up dichotomy.
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𝐁𝐫𝐨 𝐂𝐨𝐝𝐞
Pairing: Chan x Lee Know little sister!fem!reader (non-idol au) Genre: Fluff + Smut angst kinda >.>(im bad at writing it forgive me...) Word Count: 8.6k (HOLY SHIT THATS THE LONGEST ONE YET) Warnings: mutual pining, mentions of cheating, protective Minho, underage drinking if you pay close attention, fighting >.> <.< DONT DO IT, unprotected sex pullout method >.>, cringe ending as usual. i think thats everything?
A/N: I genuinely started tweaking writing this uh requests are open until like august. this request is old... so... im sorry i only just got to it ;-; I'm also so sorry if the story is >.>... cringe T_T my brain has been like fried eggs lately.
The first time Chan agreed to go to Minho's house, he was in his sophomore year of high school, when Minho had mentioned he had a sister, Chan hadn't thought much of it.
Until Chan saw you; the pretty, sweet (to him at least), smart 8th grader that was Minho's little sister.
You had poked your head into Minho's room, "Bro have you seen my hair rollers?"
Chan looked up at you from his book.
Minho looked at you and made a face. "I don't know where you put that stuff."
"Minho!" You threw the door open and frowned at him. "You borrowed them!"
"WHY WOULD I BORROW THOSE???"
"I DON'T FUCK-" You paused, eyes flicking to Chan.
Minho smiled evilly. "I'm telling mom!"
"MIN!" You shouted, "OH!" You stomped your foot for a moment before huffing. You took long strides to Minho's bedside table and grabbed his wallet.
"Where are you going!?" He shouted as you went back to the door.
"Buy more hair rollers." You said, slamming the door behind you.
Chan looked at his book and cleared his throat trying to disguise his laugh. You were cute, just a little bit.
Minho looked at his friend before his eyes narrowed. "Hey."
Chan looked at him, "Huh?"
"Chan... You're my guy. My best friend." Minho got up from his bed and smiled genuinely at him, "For the sake of our friendship, don't..."
Chan raised a brow. "Don't what?"
Minho made a face. "Chan."
Chan laughed. "Minho. I couldn't. Be for real. She's your sister. I'll be with her and be constantly reminded of you." He shuddered.
"Haha." Minho punched him. "Promise?"
"How old are we?" Chan raised a brow.
Minho looked serious.
Chan sighed. "I promise."
Yet... he couldn't keep that promise. Not while you were so busy being you.
You pulled into your parents' driveway. You had just finished your sophmore year of college, you checked your phone and messaged Minho saying you were home and to open the door.
You waited for a few minutes, scrolling on instagram before checking to see if Minho had read your message. It was still on delivered..
You sighed and called his phone. It rang and rang, but he didn't answer. "MINHO!" You made a face and finally decided to check your brother's location.
He was an hour away. At the mall.
You were about to call him again when he called you first.
"Oh, you're home already?" he asked, munching on something.
"Yes." You exhaled. "Why aren't you here to let me in?!"
"HEY HEY HEY!" He said, "Someone is there."
"Who?" You fianlly got out of your car and grabbed your bag from the trunk, dragging it to the front door.
"Chan."
You made a face and rang the doorbell. "Yada yada."
"Hey, respect me. I'm older than you!" Minho huffed.
"Ah hush." You rang the bell again. "Is that weirdo friend of yours even here-"
The door opened and you looked at the man standing there, his hair was unruly and he looked like he just woke up. You looked him up and down for a moment- he looked different, older, more muscular, the tank top wasn't helping much, you could see the outline of his pecs. "Chan?"
"AH I told you he'd open the door-" Minho started but you hung up the phone.
The muscular man crossed his arms. "Do I know you?"
"Uh- I live here?" Your brows furrowed.
"The only women I know live here is Minho's mother and a silly 11th grader I haven't seen in years." Chan sighed, "Minho doesn't take squatters. He already has 3."
"Bang Christopher Chan." Your eyes narrowed. "Did you just call my babies SQUATTERS????"
Chan's mouth fell open. "Y/n-"
"I'm telling Minho!" You pushed into the house and Chan trailed behind you.
"Let me carry that bag for you-"
"No, no, no!" You swatted his hand away. "You think my babies are squatters." You huffed and ran to your elder brother's cat, Soonie, that happened to be looking around the corner.
Chan rolled his eyes and you picked it up and started baby talking to it. "It's a cat-"
"You speak fluent baby to Berry. Don't judge me." You walked with the cat up the stairs to your room.
Chan sighed deeply.
"Chan, bring my bag upstairs thanks." You smiled sweetly and skipped back up the stairs with the cat.
Chan tongued the inside of his mouth a bit annoyed, you hadn't changed one bit. You just looked more mature. More like a woman, the curve of your waist more defined to your hips, you seemed prettier, your- … What are you thinking...
Chan pursed his lips and grabbed your bag, taking it up stairs.
He watched as you entered your room.
"Did Minho touch any of my stuff?" You asked looking around.
"Not that I know of." Chan hummed setting the bag on the bed.
You turned and gasped. "MY GUDETAMA PLUSH IS GONE!"
Chan tilted his head. "Your what?"
You fumed. "MY EGG PLUSHIE!"
Chan's face fell. "The one that was over there-" He pointed to your desk.
Your eyes narrowed. "Bang Christopher Chan. Where is my egg-"
"HERE!" Minho shouted, sliding into your room, holding up a Gudetama plushie.
You looked at your older brother. "Minho. It's not even the same plushie."
Minho opened his mouth then closed it.
"MIN!"
"AHHH JISUNG DROPPED IT IN PAINT!"
"WHAT WERE YOU EVEN DOING IN MY ROOM??!?!"
"It was Changbin's idea!"
"OHH!! LEE MINHO! GET OUT!" You fumed.
Chan and Minho scurried away before Minho burst out laughing as he got to the bottom of the steps. Chan rolled his eyes and laughed.
"I'll give her the money to replace it later." Minho sighed, "Tryna get some drinks? Jisung is paying."
Chan nodded, grabbing his phone from the table and staring at your cat Dori. The brown, grey striped cat tilted its head at Chan and the man pet it gently. "Tell Y/N I'm sorry yeah?"
The cat purred and Chan smiled before following Minho out.
Chan finished off his alcohol and turned to Hyunjin, "Hyunjinnie."
The long, dark haired man looked at him, "Huh?"
"That egg thing Jisung covered in paint."
"What about it?" Hyunjin asked, pushing his hair out of his eyes.
"What was it called?"
Jisung looked up from his food. "Gudetama?"
"Yeah that." Chan hummed. "Where do I get one that looks like it? Exact replica.."
Hyunjin shrugged. "Google it."
Chan huffed, and started searching.
Minho looked at him, "Why are you wondering?"
Chan pursed his lips. "We did mess it up."
Minho grabbed Chan's phone. "Chan." His face was expression was blank.
"Minho, I'm just trying to replace it." Chan grabbed his phone back and sighed.
Hyunjin gave Minho a look and kept eating.
Minho didn't say anything to Chan until everyone was going home only saying "see ya."
It was over a week later you came home with your friend Sua to hang out and when you opened your bedroom door you smiled at the sight of the a new Gudetama plushie. The CORRECT one.
"Where did that come from?" Sua asked as she sat on your bed, grabbing your Cinnamoroll and hugging it.
"Minho probably got it." You grabbed the egg and admired it except as you brought it to your face and inhaled, past the scent of the store... you smelled the cologne it smelled like... You pulled Gudetama away from your face and stared at it for a long moment.
"What?" Sua asked.
"Nothing..." You murmured.
Sua took the Gudetama from you and inspected it. "It's definitely new.. it smells like the store but..." She smelled it again. "Who's cologne is that?"
You rolled your eyes and grabbed it back, hugging it. "Doesn't matter.." But as you thought about the way he'd looked at you when he opened the door, the way his muscles seemed to strain against his shirt as he crossed his arms... You shook your head. So what if he had grown up a little bit. So had Minho's other friends, it didn't matter.
Yet recognizing the faint scent that lingered on the plushie, the faint scent you'd picked up from him as you pushed past him, you hugged the plushie just a little bit tighter.
Chan spun in the spinning chair in the library. He looked up at the ceiling, brain racing with so many thoughts. Had you seen it? Had you liked it?
"Chan." Hyunjin flicked his forehead. "Did I write my part good?"
"Uh huh." Chan said dismissively.
"You seem lost in thought..." Jeongin said, rolling over in his chair. "Something on your mind?"
Someone.. "No, nothing." Chan shrugged.
Jeongin's eyes narrowed, "I think..."
Chan looked at him. "Wha-"
Jeongin grabbed Chan's laptop and ran off with it, "THE SECRETS ARE HERE!" He shouted, "PROTECT ME HYUNG!"
Hyunjin tried his best to hold Chan in his chair but the latter easily sprang away and sprinted after Jeongin.
"INNIE RUN AWAY!" Hyunjin squealed.
As Chan was about to pounce on the younger man, the library assistant, a young woman with dark hair and brown eyes with a small mole on her cheek, cleared her throat. As Chan got a better look he realized the woman was your friend, Sua.
"Please be quiet." She rolled her eyes before walking into the small room and pushing the chairs back into place, she sniffed slightly, as if sick and Hyunjin offered her a tissue which she gratefully accepted before leaving the room.
Chan grabbed his computer from Jeongin and sat back in his spinning chair. "There is no secret."
The younger men looked at each other, "Sure," Hyunjin said, "Totally," Jeongin huffed.
As Sua walked away she smiled to herself and looked back. So that's who got Gudetama...
You were out with Sua at the mall, "Y/N." She smiled, "This would look so good on you." She pushed a very short skirt into your hands.
"Are we going to a strip club??" You stared at your friend in shock. "Min will kill me if I wear this."
She nudged you, "You can't stay so single and innocent forever." Sua's eyebrows bounced comically. "But then again.." She pulled the skirt to herself. "Do you think Seungmin would like me in this?"
You rolled your eyes. "If Seungmin noticed you."
She shoved you. "MEANIE!"
You giggled and kept looking for clothes.
"Ok..." She sighed.
You turned to the jewelry area and left Sua looking at bottoms alone. As you looked at the earrings and necklaces and bracelets, a pair of earrings caught your attention, it was simple, small silver half hoop earrings. You moved down the glass to get a better look and as you rested your hand on the glass display, a hand brushed yours. You looked at the hand for a brief moment before seeing the veiny arm, your stomach flipped.
You looked at the man, he looked at you, brow raised.
"Sorry." You pulled away.
"It was my fault." The man laughed. "I was just looking at those earrings." he pointed to the earrings you had your eyes on.
"Oh-" You smiled slightly, "I was looking at those too."
His eyes widened slightly, "You probably saw them first-"
"No it's fine." You were about to move away.
"It's fine really." the man waved over the store clerk. "How much for these?"
Your brows furrowed. "I-"
"550,000 sir." The clerk said.
The man slid his card across the table and smiled at you. "It's the least I can do, I think I made you uncomfortable."
You opened your mouth then closed it. What was this guy doing..
"I'm Minseok." He put his hand out to shake yours.
You smiled sheepishly. "Y/N, and really you don't have to get me these-"
The store clerk came back with a key and opened the glass display, closing the earrings box and putting it in a bag. The clerk handed the bag to Minseok with his receipt and card.
"I insist."Minseok handed you the bag.
"Y/N, did you find someth-" Sua came over, carrying a lot of bags and looked at you then Minseok and back at you, a devious grin spread across her lips and you wanted to hide.
Minseok wrote something on the back of his receipt before handing it to you. "Call me?" He smiled and walked out of the store.
"WHO WAS THAT FINE GLASS OF WINE????" Sua grabbed you, "What did he give you?" She grabbed the bag and smiled at the earrings, "Oh my, a man of taste! What's his name-"
"SUA!" you grabbed your friend's face. "Stop rambling. He bumped into me."
"And bought you earrings for 550,000 won as an apology?"
You sucked in a breath.
"He was definitely into you." She smiled dreamily. "If only I could find Seungmin in such a way."
You rolled your eyes. "Let's go."
But you had ended up shooting Minseok a text... why not?
Chan came over with the guys to celebrate Minho getting a promotion. "Ah, look at the best dance instructor this city has ever seen." Chan hugged him tightly as he entered the house.
Minho rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."
"Congrats man." Jisung patted Minho on the back, "Now with the money you're making you can finally pay when we go out to eat."
Minho made a face.
"Stop annoying him," Jeongin smiled. "But really congrats."
Minho smiled, "Come on in guys," He led the men in and to the dining room, "Tada!"
The men smiled at the sight of the barbecue and they all began eating. Chan teased Minho most of the evening until, he heard steps on the stairs. He turned to look at the stairs and his heart skipped a beat.
You were coming down the steps with Sua, dressed up to go out, skirt that showed your perfect legs and a shirt that drew attention to your curves and cleavage.
You came to your older brother and gave him a quick hug, "Congrats Minho."
As you started to pull away he grabbed your hand. "Jacket?" He asked.
You held up your jacket.
"Phone?"
You held up your phone the yellow Gudetama case that Sua had bought you drew Chan's attention momentarily.
"Pepper spray?" Minho tilted his head.
You shook your purse a bit.
He smiled, "Have fun. Don't let a creep touch you."
"Yeah yeah." You followed Sua out.
"Where's she going?" Changbin asked, munching on his beef.
"Party." Minho shrugged.
"Bound to get attention dressed like that," Hyunjin sipped his soda, "Who's party?"
"Some guy from college apparently." Minho shrugged. "Sua's with her so she should be fine."
Chan's eyes narrowed, "Minho, you're letting her go to 'some guy's' party?"
Minho looked at him. "She'll call if something happens, besides she knows not to drink."
Chan sighed, "Alright."
The other men looked at them, but no one said anything.
After the little celebration Chan was driving home, it was almost 1 in the morning, he came to a red light in front of a bar and tapped his thumb on the wheel to the rhythm of the music. He glanced out at the bar and his brows furrowed. There was a girl who looked suspiciously like you, stumbling out.
Chan was about to ignore it when a man came out of the bar after the girl. He sighed, the cars at the cross section slowing down and just as he was about to drive he watched as the girl reached into her bag for something and pulled out a yellow case with lazy egg.
Chan pulled off to the side and got out of his car as the man grabbed your shoulder. You shoved him off in your drunk daze but he was persisting.
And right as he grabbed your wrist Chan grabbed his forearm. "Can't you see she doesn't like you?" Chan's eyes narrowed, "Get out of here before I beat the shit out of you."
The man stared at Chan for a moment. Chan gripped the man's arm tighter.
"Bitch." The man released you roughly and stormed off down the street.
"Chan-" You looked at him, about to speak.
"Get in the car." He said lowly.
You opened your mouth, then closed it as he tilted his had at you daring you to say something back. You walked to the car and he opened the door to let you, closing it a you entered before going to the driver's side and entering.
"Please don't tell Min." You said as he settled.
"Where's Sua?" Chan turned to you.
"She ran off with some guy.." You said quietly.
"Why didn't you leave then?"
"Who are you my dad?"
"Y/N."
You looked at your hands. "I didn't want to."
Chan hook hi head and tarted the car again, before pulling back onto the road, he was about to go back to your house as he scolded you when you suddenly covered your mouth.
Chan sucked in a breath. "Y/N no- Not in my car-" Chan pulled over by a tree and you jumped out of the car and ran to the tree.
He cringed as you vomited and stepped out of the car, carefully taking your hair into his hand and holding it out of the way until you were jut dry heaving.
"You good now?" He asked.
You nodded.
Chan got you back in the car and gave you water.
"Chan..." You said after taking a drink. "Don't tell Minho. Please."
"Ok, ok, I won't." He sighed.
"Don't wanna go home."
"You have to."
"CHANNIE!" You whined.
Chan turned so fast, his head could've spun off his shoulders. He blinked before turning back to the road. Chris. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
"If I go home, Minho will know I'm drunk and he'll tell our parents and I won't be allowed out again." You grabbed his arm. "Chan.."
Chan sucked in a breath. "Just this once."
You smiled and hugged his arm. Chan felt his face getting hot but kept driving back to his place.
Chan had really trusted you when you said you were fine, you vomited again, outside his apartment complex and this time it had gotten on your shirt. So when you had gotten into his apartment he forced you to the bathroom and gave you some of his clothes to wear.
You were lying on Chan's couch, half asleep while he got you food because you wouldn't stop asking.
Your phone rang.
Chan was about to grab it but he froze. What would Minho think...
You grabbed your phone and answered. "Hello... No... I'm at Sua's... Chan? No I haven't heard from him... No I didn't drink... No I didn't bring a guy with me to Sua's... Okay... Tell my babies I love them... Good night Min." You hung up the phone and looked at Chan. "All handled."
Chan turned to face you and his stomach did somersaults. You standing there in his shirt, his sweatpants, looking so...
You tilted your head. "Are you drunk too, Channie?" You hummed.
Chan shook his head. "Haha. Here eat."
You smiled and took the food, going back to the couch, munching. Chan closed himself in the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. He rubbed his hands over his face for a moment before tuning on the tap and splashing his face. "Christopher... It's Y/N." he told himself. "It's just Y/N.."
A knock on the bathroom door made Chan look up. He patted his face dry with the towel on the bar and opened the door.
You stood there, looking at him. "Are you okay?" You asked.
He nodded, "I'm just really tired."
"I'm sorry for bothering you." You muttered, "Thank you.."
Chan felt his heart flutter and he smiled gently. "It's okay. Sleep in my room 'kay? I'll take the couch."
"I can't.." You mumble.
Chan made a face, "Why?"
"I don't have Gudetama.."
Chan opened his mouth then closed it.
"It keeps me safe at night." You looked down and gripped the hem of your his shirt tightly in your hands.
What was Chan supposed to say... What could he say without sounding weird or mean..
"Stay with me?"
Chan broke out of his trance as he heard that. "What?"
"Stay with me.. Because I'm scared.. I won't tell Minho."
What could he have said....
"Alright."
You woke up, head pounding, in the softest bed you've ever been in, as you opened your eyes you winced as the sun entering through soft grey curtains assaulted your already pained brain. You felt a breath against your hair and were about to jump away when the scent hit you... You looked around momentarily, it must be really early.
It wouldn't hurt.. You relaxed against his chest and hugged the arm he had around your waist. He was warm. Infectiously so. You felt warm in more ways than one. You smiled contentedly and closed your eyes again. Minho didn't have to know.
When you woke up again you heard voices, you sat up and slowly got out of Chan's bed. Your head throbbed slightly but you ignored it out of curiosity, you poked your head out the door and listened.
"I'm screwed, Hyunjin..." Chan said softly.
"If you tell Minho I'm sure he won't be that mad." Hyunjin replied.
Mad why? Because Chan helped me?
"Hyunjin." Chan said, more firmly. "I promised."
"Chan, it's completely human to feel like tha-"
"Hyunjin-ah!" Chan said a bit loudly before quieting himself. "It's not that I feel like that, even when I'm not feeling like THAT, I feel like..." Chan sighed deeply.
You backed up into the room. Feel like what... You wondered before grabbing your phone and texting Sua to come pick you up with a change of clothes.
When you got in Sua's car you looked at her.
"Do I have a lot to tell you?" She said giddily.
"I don't want to hear about what you did last night-" You started.
"Not me you dummy! The guy you met at the mall."
You turned to face her completely. "What about him?"
"He followed me on instagram this morning, I think he was seriously into you. He wants you to call him so he can take you out." She raised her brows stupidly.
"I-" you closed your mouth and thought about it for a moment, what harm could there be in going on one date? "I'll give him a call later."
"Atta girl!" Sua squealed before turning on her car and pulling out of Chan's apartment complex, "But guess what?"
"What?" You raised a brow.
"I SAID GUESS!" She wined.
"Ok, ok..." You racked your brain for a moment. "You bought new shoes?"
As Sua came to an intersection she slowed to halt at the red light and smacked your arm. "No."
"OW!" You huffed. "Tell me."
"I got Seungmin's number!"
You blinked. "How?"
She smiled, "Well, as I was going home with that guy yesterday Seungmin happened to be around and saved me-"
"Didn't you ask that guy to go home with you thou-"
"HUSH I'm not done!" She huffed, turning back to the road as the light turned green. "And Seungmin saved me and told me not to go home with strangers and if I get drunk again with no ride, I should call him." She sighed dreamily before her expression snapped to one of confusion. "How did you end up in Chan's apartment?" Her eyes widened, "DID YOU GUYS-"
"NO!" You shrieked. "No, he kept his distance."
"And you slept alone? YOU?!"
You pursed your lips. "When I woke up he was in bed too bu-"
"BUTT NAKED?!"
"SUA! NO! WE WERE CLOTHED!" You felt your face getting hot.
"You were drunk, in a man's house and you didn't do anything?? Not even kiss?"
"No." You slapped your cheeks. "We didn't do anything."
"But.. did you want to?" She glanced at you before looking back at the road.
"No." You rolled your eyes. Then you remembered. How he'd looked at you in his apartment, like he wanted to pounce on you. "Bu-"
"Did he want to do something?" Sua drove into a café's parking lot.
"I..." Your face felt hotter as you remembered how Chan held you. "I don't know..."
That was all Sua needed to ramble about how Chan must be pining over you. And it was for that reason you didn't mention what you'd heard Chan telling Hyunjin that morning.
You'd called Minseok that evening, he insisted that you stay home and get past your hangover and that he could meet you another day. Though it wasn't intentional, you and Minseok spoke almost on the daily, before he asked you if you wanted to go out for lunch. You were about ready to go out when someone knocked on your bedroom door. You opened it and blinked at the sight of Chan.
He was looking at his phone for something. "Minho wanted to know when you'd be back so we could get dri-" He froze as he looked up at you.
"Chan?" You tilted your head slightly.
"Uh.. You look really pretty." He said.
You looked down and smiled slightly.
"Who are you even going to meet up with?"
You opened your mouth then closed it, no one knew about Minseok except Sua and Minho. "A guy."
Chan visibly stiffened. "Who?"
"I'll tell you about him later-" You tried to move past him but he blocked the doorway with his body.
"Where did you get those?" He pointed at your earrings.
My date.. "Sua." You lied.
He nodded. "Okay.."
You moved past him and managed to dodge your brother's inventory check as you skipped to the door. Right as the bell rang.
You opened it and smiled at Minseok. He smiled gently before his gaze flicked behind you.
You looked back at Chan and smiled.
Chan wanted to kill that guy. He didn't like him one bit, not the way he smiled or the way he took your hand to lead you out. Nothing. But more than that, Minseok always always looked at Chan as if he'd won something, as if Chan had lost the battle and the war he didn't even know had started. Two into your relationship and Minseok still had that look for Chan. Two months.
Minho had invited Minseok along with the guys for drinks. The entire night Minseok was giving Chan sideways looks. Until Minho asked, "How did you meet Y/N?"
"Oh," Minseok smiled fondly at his drink. "I bumped into her at the mall and I made her a bit uncomfortable with how awkward of an apology I gave so.. I bought her a pair of earrings and gave her my number. I didn't expect her to call back really... But fate is nice.."
Chan's brows furrowed. "What kind of earrings?"
"Silver ones-" Minseok started.
"Half hoops?" Chan pressed, gripping his bottle.
"Yeah." Minseok said, "Small, silver, half hoops."
Chan leaned back in his chair. You'd lied... You'd lied to him. For Minseok..
"Channie-hyung-" Jeongin reached for him.
Chan pushed back his chair and smiled at Minho, "I'm going to head back early," He waved at the other men and rested his gaze on Minseok for a brief moment.
"You're drunk, let me at least call you a cab-" Minho started.
"I want to walk."
"It's dar-"
"Goodnight guys." Chan turned and left them all at the table in confusion.
Hyunjin shot Seungmin a knowing look and kept drinking.
Chan wandered aimlessly for a while, lost in thought. He eventually found himself at a playground and sat down on a swing. As he swung back and forth, he thought about you and Minseok. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all..
He felt his eyes welling with tears. "What are you even crying about Chris?!" He groaned in frustration and wiped the tears from his eyes.
He cared too much, about you and Minho. He cared too much to see you with someone else. He cared so much that it hurt to care. Even as he took deep breaths to compose himself he couldn't stop the hot salty tears streaming down his cheeks.. But-
"Channie?"
He looked up at the sound of your voice. You stood there, in a sweater that definitely wasn't yours... It was probably Minseok's... and a pair of sweatpants.
"Why are you crying?" You sat in the swing next to him and stared at him.
If only you knew...
"I've just been thinking recently." He muttered.
"A penny for your thoughts?"
Chan stared at you for a long moment and then simply leaned over and rested his head in the crook of your neck and shoulder.
You stared blankly for a moment before relaxing and stroking his dark hair gently.
"Can I ask you something.." He muttered against your skin and you felt a chill go down your spine.
"Anything..." You breathed.
He pulled away and looked into your eyes. "Will you stop me?"
"From doing what?" You stared at him in confusion for a moment before he leaned into you, breath mingling with yours.
"This.." He muttered, plump lips grazing yours before they finally met your own in a gentle kiss. He pulled away for a moment, giving you the opportunity to shout at him, to slap him and ask if he was okay mentally.
But you didn't..
And he kissed you again, deeper this time, his tongue prodding at your lips for entry. You clutched Chan's shirt as his tongue slid into your mouth, the taste of alcohol still on his lips, but you didn't pull away. Not when he kissed you like that, kissed you like he'd been meaning to for months... years even. You didn't pull away even as you felt the burn of your lungs begging for air. But he pulled awa, his eyes dark, pupils blown, clouding over with something you hadn't seen before.
You sat up in bed and slapped your flushed cheeks. What on earth were you thinking...
Chan noticed you were steering clear of him like the plague. You were going back to school soon so maybe that's why. He saw you when he and Jeongin came over to see Minho but even then you only waved at him at the door and kept about your business. Maybe he had done wrong kissing you like that.
You were leaving again. Bags all packed and ready to go back to your dorm.
"AH!" Changbin hugged ypu tightly. "You're leaving us again! Who will come to Changbin Salon if you go!"
You giggled. "I'll be back in a few months for Christmas guys. Don't worry about me-"
"Y/nnie." Minho sighed, smoothing out her clothes, "Just take care of yourself. Don't get drunk. Don't stay up late. Don't talk to weirdos-"
You hugged your brother and rolled your eyes. "Whatever."
Your parents started bickering with you about taking care of yourself.
You gave Minseok a kiss and he hugged you tightly, whispering something in your ear that made you giggle.
You finally looked at Chan and smiled.
Chan smiled too, eyes widening in shock slightly as you hugged him tightly. He relaxed and hugged you back. "Take care."
You nodded, "Bye!" You got into your car right as Changbin and Minho finished throwing your stuff into the trunk.
They all waved as you pulled out of the driveway, and you were gone again...
Chan stuck around for a bit longer chatting with Minho and your parents before deciding to go home. As Chan made his way to his car he stopped as he heard someone.
"Chan."
Chan turned and stared at Minseok. "Huh?"
"Do yourself a favor," Minseok pulled out his own car keys and unlocked his vehicle. "And stay away from Y/N. 'Kay?"
Chan raised a brow. "Is there a problem with me being around her?"
"A little bird told me, you just want to get your dick wet. So I suggest you find someone else." Minseok shrugged.
He stared at the other man for a long moment. "What if... I just want to take her from you?"
Minseok's eyes went wide.
Chan unlocked his car and got in before Minseok could say anything.
You'd been in school for a couple of months, sure, you called Minseok everyday, it didn't kill the feeling of him being so far away though.
You had gotten back from class and were doing your homework when you got a text from Minseok. You smiled slightly and picked up your phone to look at it. As you read his message you rolled your eyes and called him
He answered almost immediately. "AH! Baby. It feels like I haven't talked to you in forever."
You rolled your eyes and giggled. "We talked this morning."
"Exactly, forever." He joked.
You put the phone on speaker and set it down as you started getting your materials for studying. "When did you get so needy?"
"When did you get so distant?" he countered.
You laughed. "I'll be around soon."
"Take your time with your studies.. I don't want to mess up your brain right now."
You smiled. "It's fine really."
"I'm gonna be really busy soon."
"Oh?" You flipped through your textbook, taking notes. "With what?"
"Work stuff." he said dismissively.
"Don't overwork yourself."
"Says you."
You pursed your lips and sighed. "Minseok."
"AAH! Okay.. I have to go now, sleep early. Make sure you eat. AND DRINK WATER." He said.
"Okay. Good night baby."
"Good night y/nnie."
You hung up and leaned back in your chair thoughtfully. You should visit home soon..
The next following day you called Minseok after class he didn't answer. You shrugged it off and assumed he was busy with work as he said he would be.
You called Jisung and he ranted to you about how Minho was being annoying and how Seungmin was bouncing off the walls about Sua.
You smiled as you thought about how vividly she used to squeal about Seungmin. As you were about to go to sleep, your phone rang and you looked at the contact, smiling at your boyfriends ID before answering.
"Hey love, sorry I didn't answer. I got held up at work." he said.
"It's fine," You rolled onto your back and put the phone on speaker, yawning as you asked, "Anything happen at home?"
"You sound tired." he aid, "And no."
You hummed. "I am tired."
"Sleep. You have classes tomorrow."
"Fuck class. I'd rather stay up listening to you."
"When did you get so needy?" He teased.
You giggled.
As you listened to Minseok rant about work and other things you relaxed and fell asleep even though you said you wouldn't..
You didn't notice it at first, but almost a month later, you realized that Minseok never answered your calls; he always called you back, and always very late. You could try to blame it on his work, but something just didn't sit right with you. But you ignored the feeling. Planning to visit during your break in the fall and catch up with everyone.
What reason did you not have to trust Minseok?
When you called him the day before your trip he didn't answer. Which didn't surprise you at all. But you still felt a small pang as you looked at the box you'd purchased just a week earlier. What was surprising was that he didn't call you back.
Still you got in your car the next morning, and drove all the way back home.
Minho and your parents greeted you with bear hugs and kisses.
You went out with Minho later that day to go eat and after an intense game of rock paper scissors, you had to go to the front and order. As you made your order and Minho's you noticed Chan sitting at a table with a very pretty woman. You finished your orders and approached waving slightly at Chan.
He looked at you and smiled. "You're back in town already? How's school?"
You laughed. "I'm on break. School's fine." You noticed the way the girl stirred her drink with her straw. "Who's this?" You asked.
Chan looked at her then back at you. "Yeojin. She's a friend."
The girl gave you a small smile but you felt a bit tense. As if you were challenging her... "It's nice to meet you." She extended her hand out out you."
"Likewise." You smiled and took her hand gently shaking it before turning back to Chan, "I've gotta go, maybe we'll see each other around?"
He nodded. "It was nice seeing you." As you walked away you noticed how he spoke to Yeojin so passionately, taking her hands in his. Your heart panged. You should be happy... You should be happy he finally got over what he told Hyunjin that day... Yet it annoyed you. It made you so mad you wanted to scream. But you didn't. You ignored the feeling. You had Minseok. What more could you need?
"Have you heard from Minseok?" You asked your brother as he spun in the spinning chair by your desk.
"Not recently why?" He looked at you.
You shrugged, looking at your phone. You checked Minho's location and saw he was still at work. You'd wait for him to get to his apartment then you'd surprise him with your gift and everything would be good. "He's been stressing about work recently... I just wanted to make sure he's alright."
"Go see him then." Minho said, rolling his eyes.
"When he gets back from work." You smiled, looking at the box in your bag.
So almost two hours later, when you checked your phone and saw he was finally home. You took a cab to his apartment and eagerly, pushed the button at the elevator. You jumped a bit before calming yourself. It was just Minseok... your sweet, caring, affectionate, handsome man.
Yet as you got to his floor, as you approached his door something in you twisted. You felt wary for a reason you couldn't explain. Even as you typed the passcode for his lock and it beeped in affirmation, as you opened the door to his dark apartment, something in you still lurched in suspense. Like your body knew what was coming and your heart and mind couldn't accept it. Even as you rounded the corner of the hall and saw an extra pair of shoes by the entrance.
Heels..
You still walked through the living room and kitchen area. Right down to the other hall and to Minseok's bedroom door. Even as you heard them through the crack in the door you opened it.. and the tears that had been welling in your eyes since you walked into the dark apartment finally fell at the sight of Minseok, his dick buried in some other girl.
"Cho Minseok."
He sprang up, eyes wide like a deer in headlights as he finally took in your prescene.
You threw the box on the floor and whispered. "You asshole."
"Y/n!" You ran to the elevator and got in just in time to turn and see him running as the elevator closed, bedsheet wrapped around his waist as he called after you.
As the elevator went down your mind and heart finally caught up with the rest of your body and you fell to the cold floor and cried.
The last place Chan expected to see you, was bumbling down the street at night. Drunk.
Yet when he finally convinced you to get in his car he groaned and looked at you. "What on earth are you doing?"
You didn't answer, staring blankly out of the car window.
"I'll call Minseok to come get you-"
"Don't." You said quietly.
"Y/n." He sighed. "Minseok won't judge you for getting drunk, he probably won't tell Minho eithe-"
"Minseok is busy right now!" You snapped.
Chan stared at you. "Busy with what?"
"How is it your business?" You snapped. "You hate Minseok, I get it. but our relationship isn't your business."
"When are you going to stop him from running all over you, Y/N!?" Chan shouted.
You froze."Why do you care... go back to Yeojin."
Chan stared at you. "i have nothing with her..."
You took a few shaky breaths before you buried your face in your hands.
Chan took your hand and squeezed it gently whispering. "What happened?"
You looked at him, his coffee colored eyes so sincere. No judgement or ulterior motives, nothing but patience and empathy.
You leaned against him over the console. "He's with someone else."
"Since when?" He asked, his arm wrapping around your shoulders.
"I don't fucking know and I don't give a damn."
He hummed. "You wanna go home?"
"I don't want an earful from Minho." You said, closing your eyes.
Chan pulled away and started the car. The alcohol finally claimed your consciousness. You woke up a while later on Chan's bed, you sat up, still a bit tipsy. You stood from the bed and stumbled slightly as you walked. You saw Chan on the couch, staring at the ceiling.
"You left me alone again..." you said softly.
Chan looked at you. "I thought you'd be alright."
You stared at him.
"Come here.." he muttered.
You moved to him and sat beside him on the couch, leaning into hiss body heat.
You sat in silence for a few minutes, then your mouth ran faster than your brain could help and you asked. "Do you like me..."
Chan's body stiffened.
"Be honest.."
"Y/n."
"Tell me."
"Minho would be angry at me-"
"CHAN!" You snapped, pulling away from him. "No... I understand. No one really likes me because I'm jus-"
He cut you off, kissing you. Your eyes widened momentarily before you relaxed and kissed him back. Your already cloudy mind felt like it was covered by a drape of emotion you couldn't understand, taking all your air away, wrapping itself around you like an anaconda. It squeezed the very passion from your veins and pushed it all into that kiss.
Chan pulled away for air first and your eyes met as he finally whispered. "I don't like you. I love you."
You kissed him again as he leaned into you, pinning you to the couch. His lips moved from yours to your jaw and neck before he froze. Minho... He started to pull away. "Y/n we can't-"
You grabbed his face in your hands and whispered, tears brimming in your eyes, "Please..."
Chan couldn't tell in the rush of getting you from the couch into his room how he ended up beneath you. Staring up into your pretty eyes before you leaned down to kiss him, his tongue fought with yours as your hands lifted his shirt and ran over his chiseled abdomen. When you moaned softly into his mouth something in his snapped and he grabbed you. Flipping you both and pinning you to the bed, staring down at you.
You smiled up at him and he rolled his eyes before kissing you agan, his lips moving to attack your neck and collar bones before he pulled off your shirt. You whined and tugged at his before he pulled it over his head and tossed his somewhere. You reached up and caressed his stomach before he took your hand in his and your fingers intertwined as he pinned it to the bed.
"We shouldn't..." He mumbled against your lips.
"Want you to.." You whispered.
"Fuck.." he moaned softly against your lips and rubbed his crotch against your clothed heat.
You pulled your hands free and wrapped them around him, pulling him down to you. Your world seemed to blur and darken, your only focus the man above you. How he worshipped you, lips moving from your jaw to your throat, decorating your skin with love bites. Moving lower and pulling your pants down slowly.
It wasn't painful or rushed. He kissed you slowly, filling you to the brim and more, each thrust met with soft cry from you. His hands at your hip pulling you into each push of his pelvis against yours. He leaned down and kissed you, his body caging you in, you held onto him tightly, nails digging into his broad shoulders as he bucked into you again and again. Knocking the air from your lungs every time he fucked into you, pushing deep, deep.
Mesmerized by the sight of of your pussy engulfing his cock as you whimpered and mewled beneath him.
"Are you going to cum for me?" He mumbled in your ear. "Gonna milk me dry, sweet girl?"
Your back arched off the bed at that, Chan groaned and reached between you rubbing your sensitive clit.
"Cum for me princess." He breathed into your neck, pulling out slowly before stuffing his cock into you roughly again.
"Channie!" Your pussy clenched tightly around hiss manhood and he pulled out. Pumping his cock until his release shot onto your breasts and stomach.
He held himself over you. "Fuck..." He dragged himself up to get something to clean you but when he came his eyes went wide at the sight of your hands on your face the soft sound of your sobs reaching his earss. "Y/N- I shouldn't have. Did I hurt you? I'm sorry-"
"Not you." You said, taking a deep shaky breath.
"Then-"
You took your hands away from your face and smiled. "I love you Chan.."
He smiled gently and kissed your forehead before cleaning you and getting back into bed.
"Can I ask you a question?" You said in the quiet darkness.
"Huh?" He turned to you.
"Did you replace Gudetama?"
Chan smiled. "Was it so obvious?"
"It smelled like your cologne.."
"You paid attention to how I smelled?" he gasped in shock.
"Shut up." You smacked his chest and rolled your eyes despite your face going hot.
He smirked and kissed the top of your head. "I don't mind."
You rolled your eyes but moved closer, relaxing into his warm embrace before falling asleep.
Chan hugged you to his chest, staring up at the ceiling as he caressed your hair. He heard something buzz and looked at your phone on his bedside table. He took in your peacefully sleeping face and smiled about to ignore it. Then it rang.
He moved away from you slowly and reached over you grabbing the jingling device. Minseok's face flashed across your screen. Chan made a face and answered, pulling the covers over your bare body before bringing the phone to his ear.
"Y/N! I'm so glad you finally answered! Baby it's not what you thought! I don't even know her real-"
"Y/n is busy," Chan said, looking at you sleeping.
"Chan?" Minseok asked, confused. "Pass her the phone."
"She's exhausted," Chan said, "and it's because of you. I doubt she'll call you back, so please don't call my girl's number again."
"YOUR GIRL??" He shouted on the other end of the line. "BANG CHAN! THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"
Chan smiled to himself as he said. "Going to sleep with my girlfriend." He got back into bed and smiled at your sleeping face. "Good bye Minseok."
"Oh, Chan I swear-"
Chan hung up and pulled you close to him again.
"What was that about?" You asked half asleep.
"Nothing." Chan kissed your forehead. "Go to sleep."
Chan drove you home the next morning. You were still a bit sad, but as you unlocked the front door your eyes widened at the sight of a disheveled looking Minseok sitting in your kitchen with your elder brother. Chan followed close behind you, his eyes narrowing when he saw the men.
"Y/N!" Minseok jumped from his seat and ran to you.
"Don't touch me!" You shouted as he tried to hug you.
Minho turned to you and Chan. "Minseok told me everything."
"Then why would you let him in-" You started.
"Bang Chan." Minho said quietly. "Get out."
"Minho-" Chan started.
"Get out!" your brother shouted.
"Y/n baby what happened?" Minseok touched your face and you slapped him away.
"What did you tell him?!" You pointed a finger at Minseok.
"What there was to be said." He grabbed your hands and you pulled away.
"Minho. I know what you're thinking-" Chan tried to calm your brother who was standing up now.
"Oh you do?!" Minho said, clearly getting aggravated by Chan's prescence.
"Listen to me-" Chan said, putting his hands up as MInho approached.
But he was cut off by punch to the face that made your eyes widen.
"Bro-" You tried to grab Minho but Minseok grabbed your hand.
"Let's talk about this-" He said before you slapped him hard.
"I told you to stay away from my sister." Minho said, walking up to Chan as he took several steps back.
"Minho let me explain!" Chan said, trying to stay out of his friend's range.
"There's nothing to explain!" Your brother shouted.
"Bro please!" Chan tried.
"Minho!" You grabbed your brother's arm.
He whipped around to face you. "You can't seriously defend him! Y/N!"
"Maybe I am!" You shouted, you walked between Chan and Minho. "No.. I am defending him. He didn't do anything wrong."
Your brother stared at you before looking at Chan and muttering. "Leave."
"Minho." You said softly.
Chan bit his lip before grabbing Minseok and dragging him out with him.
"Why would you do that?!" You shouted as Chan slammed the door behind him.
"Chan wouldn't care about you! IF you knew LIKE I DO you'd understand!" Minho yelled back.
"I don't know him like you do! BUt you should've let him explain!"
"What was there to explain?! He dragged you to bed when you were drunk-"
"DO YOU KNOW WHY?!" You cut him off. "MINSEOK IS AN ASSHOLE! Minseok cheated on me! Chan didn't want to go that far. I asked him to! I like Chan A LOT! Whatever rule or whatever shit you have that keeps me from being with him needs to stop..." You trailed off. "Because you might lose me too."
Your brother stood there in shock as you ran up the stairs.
It was a week later when Chan was out with Jisung, Hyunjin, and Changbin.
"Just tell Minho you're sorry." Changbin said sipping his cola as the three waited for their food.
"He wouldn't even let me talk." Chan groaned, burying his face in his hands.
"Tragic really." Jisung sighed.
Chan and Changbin looked at their friend with blank expressions as if to say be fricking for real.
Jisung sipped his drink. "I think you should just wait a bit. You know? I doubt Minho will stay mad forever, he's your good friend..."
Chan nodded. "I should just apologize whenever he calms down."
"If he doesn't just walk away from the toxic controlling friend." Hyunjin shook his head.
"Apologize now then."
Hyunjin jumped in fear at Minho's voice. "HYUNG!"
Minho looked at Hyunjin. "You'll eat tissues later."
Chan stared at Minho. "How did you even know I was here?"
Jisung looked completely invested in the bubbles floating in his soda suddenly.
Minho laughed and Chan sighed before standing. "Minho I-"
"I'm sorry for punching you." Minho said, "I'm sorry for accusing you of... things... and I'm sorry for making you stay away from Y/N..."
Chan smiled at his friend. "It's alright, I mean I didn't say I liked her before you threw that ban on me suddenly.. I'm sorry too."
The men smiled at each other.
"Hug it out! Hug it out Hug it out! Hug it-" Hyunjin started only to shrink away in fear as Minho grabbed a bunch of napkins from the dispenser on the table.
You laughed and Chan turned to you. "You're here.."
"Someone had to stop Min if he ended up attacking someone." You smiled.
"THEN HELP ME!" Hyunjin started only to get a mouthful of tissues.
You giggled and smiled at Chan as MInho gave him a look.
"May I kiss you princes?" Chan smirked, leaning into you.
MInho acted like he was going to vomit. And Jisung dramatically passed out.
"You may."
Chan pressed his lip against yours.
"ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH!" MInho said rolling his eyes. "You should compensate me for the mental and emotional distress I went through, I say buy me pizza!"
© 2024 xxkissesforchanniexx. DO NOT COPY OR TRANSLATE MY WORK
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