#then we talked abt radio too bc I had been thinking abt asking him and this opened that door !! so so great

[alittleemo]

man they rlly said we are going to make your grocery store experience so miserable and hangry bc the rest of your day will be so overwhelmingly good we need to balance it out brother. and wow it rlly was great what a 180

[crazybiaatch]

okay so quick warning for very big spoilers if you haven't been able to see the newest eps of hazbin hotel, this is gonna he talking abt a major reveal that happened in eps 5 & 6 so just be warned

so, Alastor is on someone else's leash. woah. I was shocked and had to pause the ep to collect my thoughts. One question though, who? well forst let's talk abt who it couldn't be:

- Lucifer, they've clearly never met each other and started fighting as soon as they met

- any of the Vees, it would be funny but Alastor wouldn't be passing off Vox so much, Val would be using him the same way he uses everyone else, and I can't see Velvette keeping quiet abt having the Radio Demons soul

- anyone at the hotel, they're either owned by him, way less powerful than him or Charlie, who is just too nice

- any sinner, hellborn or otherwise local that is less than an overlord

so that only leaves a few alternatives.

- Another Overlord, which could work since the only people we see making deals like the one Alastor would be in, and while Alastor is described as powerful, this is only ever by sinners and Vaggie, who don't have much of anything else to compare him too, but when Alastor is with the other Overlords they brush him off, they're respectful to him but they're not scared and they're not trying to get in his good graces, they're not acting like you would expect power hungry demons would be around someone with so much more power than him. He's more of an equal, probably less since Camilla doesn't even care about him going missing, so he 100% could have been in danger, possibly at one of the exterminations or possibly another Overlord, and entered a deal to save himself

- One of the Sins, these guys are one of the only thing in hell more powerful than the Overlords, so even if Alastor is the most powerful Overlord in hell, the Sins could take him without a sweat, so they could enter a deal easily, the only thing is, what would a sin want from him?

- One of the Royals (Goetia) the thing about this one is that we don't see many of the royals, we see Stolas, who is too preoccupied with divorcing his wife and trying to un-neglect his daughter, and his father, who could be dead for all we know. We know Stolas has a lot of siblings, but again, we don't know what's happened with them. So my idea on this one is pretty much, one of Stolas's siblings grew jealous of him and entered a deal with Alastor to take him down, but that doesn't stand on much of a leg bc it kinda depends on Alastor getting beat by someone else to be put in enough of a vulnerable position to agree to give his soul away, and I see the other Overlords or one of the Sins being able to pull off, but not one of the Goetias

- Lilith. This one seems like the most likely to me (and others) bc of their matching timeliness, Alastor has been missing for 7 years and Lilith has been off doing something for 7 years, so it would make sense for Alastor to have just been with Lilith, possibly helping her, he also went straight to Charlie when he got back instead of wrecking havoc or trying to do something dramatic to announce his return, which could have been Lilith asking him to help take care of Charlie (it also explains how protective Alastor is of her when Lucifer comes to the hotel, Lilith could have told him things abt Lucifer that made him not like him) and in the whole series he's been doing whatever Charlie wants him to do, even filming himself, which is something he absolutely hates, just to help with the hotel and make her happy, Lilith is also the second most powerful being in all of hell, so she would have the power to make that deal and also destroy Alastor, or at least threaten to destroy him with the threat holding actual water.

- The Angels. This one is a little less likely than the Lilith one, but with what was happening in ep 6 i think it's plausible. My idea is that sometime before Alastor went missing (maybe even when he first manifested), an exterminator or maybe even Sera came down to hell and threatened him on pain of death to sell his soul and do their bidding, which would be to kill as many demons as possible. that one makes the most sense if it was back when he first started his killings, since it would give him the power to do what he did and also reason beyond him being a Dramatic Bitch(tm), and it could have been afterwards too, with an Angel seeing his potential and deciding to grab him before he could get out of hand. This would also tie in with the headless angel storyline they're doing, since now Alastor has proof an Angel can be killed it gives him a chance to get out of his deal which he very obviously doesn't like.

these are just a few of my thoughts, I do think the Lilith one is the most likely but I personally think the Angel one would be more fun? it would give us yet another perspective on how evil the angels actually are (so far we have it from the residents of hell and 2 past angels as well as Emily being disillusioned by what she learnt in ep 6, so I think it would be interesting to see how they treat the people they 'own') but do take in mind that I'm operating purely on what has been posted canonically (the og pilot from 2019, the prime show and helluva boss) so I could be contradicting things viv has said so feel free to correct me if any of these are just totally impossible

[susiehunsecker-remade]

i had a paul newman dream again. i was this heiress and/or wife of a rich important guy and we lived in this mansion that was part victorian haunted house and part HGTV beige nightmare. it didn't seem to end and everyone lived in rooms as close as possible to the main wing because people were scared of getting lost.

since i was a wealthy faildaughterwife with nothing better to do i'd just spend all day going through the house and at some point i find this quaint little bedroom in the scary victorian part of the house. i'm looking through it and there's some clothes and a nice looking radio but nothing special. then paul newman comes in and is like what the hell are you doing here? and i go oh my god i'm sorry i didn't think people actually lived here and he goes well i do. i cant remember if he was mad at me. i ask him what he does in the house and he's like i clean the pool, maam. the indoor pool

i go wtf do you mean the indoor pool where is that and he takes his radio and then walks me through this underground tunnel that leads into a garden and im like well this isnt a pool and hes like oh my god lady can't you just wait. and i'm offended but it doesn't last long because he starts leading me through this part of the garden i've never seen before and into this hotel lobby looking place with a couple of sofas and a fridge and a big glass door on the opposite side of the room. i go what's this place for? and he's like..? it's just a room lady, why do you keep asking me all these questions don't you know all the rooms in this house already and im like. um. no... and he looks at me like i'm an idiot.

then paul takes me past the big glass door and i see this gorgeous crystal clear glimmering pool and on the sides theres a bunch of beautiful ferns growing and theres glass ceiling that diffused the sunlight in a really pretty way. then i ask wow!!! can i swim here its so pretty and paul goes Are you stupid? you live here and also it's my job. but i think he starts feeling bad abt constantly being mean to me and goes out to find something I can wear to swim. when he comes back i change and fuck around in the pool for an hour while he listens to his radio, which he's had on him since we left his room. i tell him that he should swim too since he's already here, he goes your dad or husband wont approve of that and im like nahh hes not here most days anyway no harm. he looks at me weird but i convince him to go under the conditions that i take care of his radio for him. he's really obsessed with this radio. It mostly plays static noise which should have been suspicious to me in the dream but I was fucking stupid i guess and didn't realize it was a walkie talkie kind of radio until i hear the voice of my dad or husband talking on it. For the next hour I just sat there nervous while paul newman used our pool. I think he knew something was off bc at some point he just started staring at me which was terrifying bc his eyes are blue as fuck. Anyways the coherent part of the dream ended there, i woke up really sweaty and scared. I also fell asleep in the middle of making this post but I had no dreams there.

[blnk338]

hi hello i am once again (this is the first time) asking for 831 content. like i KNOW you prolly can’t tell much because of like lore and trauma and stuff but like they’re so cooooool and i have a gigantic crush on ALL OF THEM AND REAPER USED TO BE SO HAPPYYYYY. do you have any plans on possibly giving lil sprinkle hints and stuff abt them throughout the story? bc like 3 of them are still alive and well and one is like. kidnapped 🤨 soooo idk i know reaper has some deep seeded trauma like every girlboss does but idk

i also don’t know if this ask makes any sense. i’m very eepy BUT no pressure to write or add anything i’m just genuinely curious. ANYWAYS i hope your week goes well!!! and pls stop eating shrimp bc we need them to fry the rice !!!!

fun fact I was actually going to make something for them so...

//drinking mentions

"Okay, so, it's gum, but it's natural." Tahoma tried, offering Izzie the packet. It was a sweltering summer in Austin and the two of them and the rest of the 831 were waiting outside the lines of parked taxis and Ubers rumbling, hidden from the heat. "No gum is natural--"

"Yeah, but it's not like you're going to eat it!" Izzie just shook her head and leaned further into the concrete wall, sipping her water like a drunkard at noon. Each and all of them had pretty much run out of water by that point, but Okazaki and her ever-growing intelligence snuck in another bottle in her bag, aptly saying "fuck TSA." Johnny was well and done with her, sighing as he popped another piece of gum into his mouth as Rigo groaned loudly, Nadya shoving him. "If you keep moaning someone's gonna think you're having sex."

"In this weather? I'm sweating enough as is."

"I thought you liked hot," Marisha quirked, pushing her lips out as she fanned herself with the collar of her shirt. "Yeah, but this shit's dry!"

"At least California has a beach-- all Austin has is a river you can't swim in." Angel wiped her forehead, rubbing her eyes in the process. She hadn't slept on the flight and, frankly, the nearly twenty hours of travel, she was ready to hit Phil's guest bedroom's mattress and sleep for an equal amount of time.

The doors wheezed open, Rosie stepping through with seven different water bottles in her arms, the rest of her team practically leaping at the chance to take one from her. Everyone thanked the woman with all of their heart, gulping down every drop, Nadya crushing the plastic bottle like a Four Loko, sighing in relief. As if right on queue, the massive black SUV that they were so familiar with pulled up and honked loudly.

Shades pulled down, bright American smile sparkling as the window rolled down, their captain's arm out his own window, patting the roof. "You folks need a lift?"

They piled and packed in like sardines, grateful for the ever-blasting AC that he cranked up to max. "Hope I didn't leave you guys out there for too long."

"No offense, Cap, but you were forty-three minutes late." Rigo tapped his wrist, his metaphorical watch clinking (he made the noises with his mouth). "Always so exact," Phil smiled, rolling up the windows as Achebe settled herself in the front, happy to get her own special seat while the rest of her team had to sit on top of each other (though none minded all that much, they were just happy to be out of the heat). "And that was thirty-eight minutes we sat outside when we could've been inside your house, in your pool-- oh, wait, did-- Nadder, did you order already?"

"What? Dude, we just got here, why would I have ordered?"

"Because I was talking about Lolo's and I thought we were on the same page." Phil grinned over the 2015 Summer Pop that played over the radio, cranking the volume. "Can't hear you two over the sound of Calvin Harris!" The rest of Nadya's and Rigo's unharmful argument over whether or not the former could predict the Californian's hunger was muted by "How Deep Is Your Love?" as the team was driven to the not-so-humble abode of Phillip Graves.

It was everything the sweaty brigade of military idiots needed; from a pool and green, green grass in his backyard, to a three-bedroom, fully airconditioned suburb-style house. As all of the group crammed in right behind Phil, his keys jingling as he unlocked the door, he chuckled, the group pushing through as he let them inside. The first time that they'd been over, there were kids' toys, drawings of crayon figures, and dozens of stacked apple sauce packs in the pantry. By the second trip, they were gone. There was a mutual agreement not to talk about it, but Graves' team still softened their blows on him.

But as the team made their way from the front entry to the living room, they stopped. Nadya was in the back of the group, rummaging through her backpack, bumping into the back of Navarro. "Shit-- why'd you..." But as she stepped around the massive woman, she stopped too, her jaw slacking. "... Dad?"

To be continued...

[mcl38]

f1twt has been popping off since the race ended too. someone posted a clip of lando asking his engineer to "SPEAK up" bc you know, his engineer was giving him important information about the tyres and gaps to other drivers at that point. heaven forbid lando want to actually hear that information. anyway they posted that clip with this big rant about how "if yuki told his race engineer to shut up, we/f1 would be attacking him instead of laughing about it" and i was genuinely sitting there reading all of the replies like. people just say things without even listening to the 5 second clips they're discussing anymore because you can very clearly hear him ask his engineer to SPEAK up. it doesn't even remotely sound like shut up. (not to mention lando had been asking will off and on the entire race to please speak louder because he was having trouble hearing him). but point is these people really just say anything without 1 second to check if it's really true. i also. idk. as a poc, find it rlly weird to be using the actual racism faced by drivers on the grid to push an agenda against a driver you don't like, instead of viewing it as it's own separate and real issue? like do u actually even care about the racism or is it just looking for reasons to hate and push an agenda against another driver u care about. anyway sorry this is long, that pissed me off since i saw it but there are 0 braincells among f1twt as a collective so i rlly did not want to say anything and have them coming at me fjskcks

ok this is kind of bizarre bc i DID see the post talking about lando telling will to shut up and how yuki would've been crucified for it, but it DIDNT include the clip in it. tbh u couldve seen a similar take but i actually think ur misremembering the post, mostly bc no one was picking on lando for the 'speak up' radio (even outside of that post), they were talking about when he cut will off somewhere in those last 20 laps saying "i see i see i see, i'm pushing mate". and then the yuki fan CONTINUED TO SAY that lando's radio was 'nothing serious', they were just pointing out the double standard of how the journos / comms / fandom / marko rinsed yuki and claimed he was not fit for f1 because of his 'angry' radios. i do think that fan was wrong bc lando very much got similar critiques after sochi21, but to be fair to them most fans on twt weren't watching f1 3 years ago so like i wouldn't hold it against them. idk like twitter IS full of idiotic takes & the algorithm will push the most annoying ppl ever onto ur timeline in order for u to take the ragebait and engage, but like. i rly dont think this fan was hating on lando in general or was even in the wrong for venting their frustrations w how yuki is constantly carricaturised and underestimated. which again - maybe im talking abt another fan but its unlikely bc its this one who caught ALL the flack from all my lando stan mutuals so i think its the tweet ur also referencing.

anyways i dont think its necessarily making it a race thing to point out if theres double standards between drivers (especially re: british bias) even though again i dont think in this case they were correct specifically abt lando. but i also wouldnt find it outlandish to consider the outrage re: yuki's swearing is part of a bigger pattern of how east asian men r treated. i think yuki has been infantilised and woobified bc of his race and height throughout his career, and the cognitive dissonance created when he swears a lot (perfectly normal for ppl who dont speak much english / are ESL to swear liberally) is bc ppl cant concieve of the innocent little baby yuki in their heads being an adult man who can use swear words. and i think in that respect his career & public perception has had a similar trajectory to lando (who is infantilised for different non-race-related reasons lol), which is why i have a lot of compassion for yuki fans who r frustrated with it. especially in a casual liveblog situation that wasn't meant to be a Big Statement. but idk maybe thats my yuki bias showing

[acaiasahi]

cw: rant, death n bad friends :(

my bff of like my entire childhood, who is conveniently my cousin, is such a fucking dick. we were bffs n all of a sudden she got a gf that she met online fgs, ditched me to be w her n only msged me when she had problems w her or js problems in general. never to ask abt me or talk to me, even after A WHOLE CHILDHOOD OF FRIENDSHIP 😐 then she got broken up w her gf n all of a sudden she wants to be bffs again.

she literally ditched me, then came back to me to fill the hole her gf caused and guess fuckin what. they got back tgt. and then all of a sudden we're back to "let's leave jaydi alone n pretend they were never in ur life mwahhaha" 🙁 how fucking shitty do u gotta be bro... and the crazy thing is, i literally communicated these feelings to her n she fr said she'd do better.

i literally asked if she wanted to see svt w me n that it was ok if she didn't want to bc ik she doesn't like kpop as much as me but she still said yes and literally the DAY BEFORE THE CONCERT... she said she had work n flaked so i took my mom instead n ngl she was a way better concert buddy <3 anyways, i asked if she wanted to go to another concert, the kehlani show in oakland and she said yes... guess what she did. she fucking sold her ticket, that I BOUGHT, online without even telling me. if i hadn't found out, i would've been seated alone, driven alone, etc. how fucking shitty do u have to be to even do smth like that. she was even like "yes!!! sorry for svt but we'll def see lani, promise!!! <333" bffr.

and when i got fired from my job, it was literal radio silence on her end bc she was too busy w her goofy ass gf to even utter a word to me. and then when i had to give my dog away, she literally answered ONE phone call where i was bawling n she ended it quick bc her gf called like wtf bro. and then when my uncle died, i literally shut down. didn't talk to anyone besides my family and some coworkers if it was needed n all of a sudden, when i'm sad n grieving n not msging back, i'm the bad guy :/ i literally sent a msg to my bffs apologizing for being so distant n "a bad friend" despite me mourning the loss of a loved one. and the fuckin funny thing is, she didn't even fucking respond. what a bitch man.

i shouldn't have apologized in the first place. she was the one who ditched me multiple times to be w this girl she met on the internet n as soon as i started pulling away, i'm the horrible friend who never has time, literally fuck off. ydk how much pain i went thru knowing my uncle, one of my father figures since i was a BABY had passed away n ur too busy w ur lil gf, who btw, is a literal bitch bc she broke up w u for the most selfish reasons n when i told u to not go back bc u deserve better, she basically told u to stop talking to me bc she was butthurt, ANYWAY, u didn't even think to msg me. ask me how i was. how i was coping. if i was ok bc he fucking died during the holidays. THE FIRST HOLIDAYS W/O HIM AND U COULDN'T EVEN BE THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEEDED U MOST. EVEN WHEN U WERE THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING BUT INSTEAD, I WAS THE BIGGER PERSON WHO DID IT.

i'm so fuckin sick of this shit n i'm honestly glad she's not in my life anymore. does it hurt? yeah, but only bc she was in my daily routine. she's showed time n time again that she's a bad friend but i still stayed bc i knew she was going thru a hard time but as soon as i'm going thru an extremely tough time, she bails. right now, i can't forgive u or wish u the best but i just hope this comes as a lesson that ur actions of consequences. be better.

[rainchyna]

‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎♡ ❝RATED : SWEETHEARTS!❞ ♡

‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎EPIS♡DE : SIX (V)

warnings! [light angst, worried y/n, had to make them stop at a supermarket bc it’s a road trip, adam is a mess lord oh my god, cussing, y/n and christian talking shit abt people in high school, adam is a wee bit depressed, it’s long]

you wait for christian to load your bags in to the backseat. “you got everything?” you ask. “yeah” he reply’s getting in the front seat. “you do realize that the next show is in two days right?” he asks as you start up the car’s engine. “and that this trip will take eighteen hours back and forth?” he adds. “yep” you answer with tight lips. “but can we put on a show without the third idiot?” you ask looking at him. “right”.

the first three hours of the ride were silent, mostly because christian fell asleep and you didn’t have the heart to turn up the radio to the fill the slightly jarring silence since it might wake him up. all you could think about was how fucking stupid adam was for just getting up and leaving you just like that. he was never the one who runs away from his feelings, he was always upfront and honest with you, even in the smallest most minuscule of things. all you could think about was how he was. you needed to know if he was okay, both mentally and physically. is he sleeping well? has he been eating healthy? he better have remembered taking his vitamins today … or the last couple days.

“god fucking damn it adam”

4:44 pm, that same day…

you were knee deep in thought when christian began moving around. “i’m hungry” was the first thing he said. you had just passed a sign that said that nearest stop was 10 miles away. a thought crossed your mind as lightly gasped. “what’s wrong?” christian asked, confused. you mouth hung open for a second before saying, “adam’s birthday is tomorrow”. “oh shit. we forgot” christian sighed. “oh no, you forgot, i was just distracted by everything” you defended. christian just narrowed his eyes at you, before saying “we’ll get him a key chain or something…” he trailed. you look over at him with a ‘deadass?’ face. “what? it’s not like he’s been the greatest friend for the last couple days!” he said. “true that” you nodded.

slowly but surely, you pulled up on a 7/11. next to it was a subway and a tim horton’s. “can you grab us proper food while i just get junk from the 7/11?” you asking parking the car. “sure” christian said grabbing his jacket. a cold breeze hit your face as you entered the convenience store, these places were always so cold for no reason. you walked towards the fridges at the back, scanning the drinks available through the freezing glass. you grabbed at least eight juice boxes, two tubs of cookie dough ice cream, and on your way to the cashier you took some bags of crisps.

at the register was a younger man, nineteen, twenty at most. curly poofy hair and some pimples here and there. “how’s traffic out there?” he asked with a thick french accent. his name tag read ‘jean-pierre’, “barely any honestly” you replied. “do you happen to sell keychains by any chance?” you ask. without missing a beat, the guy pulled out this massive bowl that had wooden and metallic chains on it. you dug through it as he scanned your items. ‘i <3 canada!’, ‘toronto, canada’ and more canada related ones came up, until one caught your eyes. ‘happy birthday you sexy whore’, was it appropriate for you current situation? debatable. would adam like it? most definitely yes. was it a little too on the nose? absolutely. “i’ll take this one!” you smiled. the guy took it, eyeing the chain then you. “on me, cause you’re my favourite wrestler” he smiled. you eyes lit up, “i’m your favourite?” you ask, “of course! and my boyfriend loves edge and christian, edge is his favourite because he’s more unhinged, but we love you guys!” he said. “i also really like lita” he added

“oh my god i would actually die for her”

“girl, she’s so iconic”

“I KNOWWW”

“IT’S THE HAIR AND ATTITUDE”

“SHE’S LITERALLY THE COOLEST PERSON”

you both stood there for at least fifteen minutes talking about your favourite wrestlers, until you remembered that you’re out here for a reason. you quickly said goodbye and left. as you sat in your car seat you were met by a slightly grumpy christian. “you were gone for like half an hour bro” he complained. “my bad, the cashier guy was the best person ever”.

the ride was pretty decent, mostly you and christian eating and talking shit about people from high school. “remember that chick mikaela?” he asked, mouth full of fries. “oh my fucking god, i used to hate her” you said, christian was confused. “i thought you guys were friends..?” he muttered, “ no! bro, she was only friends with me because she liked adam” you said. “deadass?” he was more surprised than confused, “i swear, bro, there were so many girls that were friends with me because they wanted to get closer to adam. and to be fair though, i was a bit of a cockblock. i would always be like ‘oh he’s already seeing someone’ you know”. you admitted. “cockblock! cockblock! y/n, y/n, the cockblock!” he sang.

“c’mon man-“

“cockblock! cockblock! y/n, y/n, the cockblock!”

“i didn’t want anyone near him-“

“wait, you loved him since high school?!” christian asked. “i thought it was obvious”, christian was dumbfounded for a second. “obvious?? you literally friendzoned him so many times bro” he said. “i did?” you were both equally confused. “let me list some of the times you did, lita’s birthday last year, prom, my 17th birthday, during our first european tour, when we first debuted, do i go on?” he said, sarcasm dripping from his comment. “i thought he was being overtly nice”

“he’s literally in love with you”

adam was a mess. he showered once ever since he came back, his hair was tangled, his under-eyes looked like he rubbed his eye with eyeliner on. he was in his old room, the wall in front of him had crayon and marker scribbles detailing his, yours and christian’s heights over the years. there were stickers all over his cupboard and bed frame and his old gaming console sat frozen in time next to three, tiny joysticks. adam laid back on his bed facing the ceiling. the night before he laid on his side staring at his bedroom’s door, he cried and his knuckles got sore. he knew that nothing will happen if he continues ignoring your calls, if he continues pretending that he’s not hurt, pretending that he doesn’t care. it was eating him from the inside, but some how he just wants you more. he felt like a flower bud in concrete, he felt incomplete, he wondered if you’ll ever meet. hopefully you noticed that he was gone by now, hopefully matt wasn’t taking up all your time. i didn’t even matter to him who you were with at this point, he just wanted to see you. so when you decide, it’s your time to arrive, he’s loved you for all of his life.

there was knock at his door, “hey…”, it was his mom, “yeah?” he said voice deep from not speaking in hours, “are you sure you’re okay? ‘cause this is the weirdest break you’ve ever had, y’know? like .. where’s jay? where’s y/n? you three are like conjoined triplets” she said sitting next to him. he sighed deeply, “can i be honest with you?” he asked, “well of course, i am your mom after all” she smiled sweetly.

“i’m in love with y/n, she’s all i can think about. it’s literally consuming me at this point. and like an idiot i ran away from my feelings, instead of saying something and i haven’t heard from her and christian in a while” he breathed out.

“oh” she said, “i thought we’re gonna say something surprising”.

adam just looked at his mom confused, “i just said all of that and it’s not surprising enough to you??” he asked slightly irritated. “that’s not the case, you’re feelings are obviously valid and you’re my son and everything, whatever, but you being in love with y/n isn’t news to me. it isn’t news to anyone, funny enough actually me and y/mom’s/n have this bet that you’ll get married by the time you’re twenty five” she joked.

“you have a bet on us?” adam giggled, first time since he came home. “yeah” she laughed. “c’mon get up, we’re gonna make cookies together, your favourite” she said as she stood my door’s frame. “just like when you were little”.

10:48 pm, even later.

after a long day of baking and listening to music with his mom, adam was slightly at peace. she always knew how to cheer him up. he was sprawled out on the living rooms couch, a plate of cookies resting on his torso while a movie he was watching played in the background. his mom had went to sleep a while ago, leaving adam alone with his thoughts. he thought about it for a while, if having you as his girlfriend wasn’t an option, he didn’t mind remaining as friends. granted it would burn his literal soul, because you gave him butterflies. all you had to do was walk away and pass him by, don’t acknowledge his smile when he tried to say hello to you.

simple as that, yet just the thought of you ignoring him physically hurt him. his mind ram miles and miles away, he couldn’t stop thinking about all the ways he can continue being friends with you, without it interfering with you and matt relationship. he couldn’t help but get emotional, that was years of friendship going down the drain. but that was the point of unrequited love, wasn’t it?

4:15, early in the morning

christian had taken over, as you were now asleep on the passenger seat. you had finally entered your hometown. the area was a little dark, pretty quite. apart from a couple cars driving into the night, nothing else was causing any type of noise.

he drove past several houses, recognizing some of them. he pulled up on your homes’ block, and there he could see them. the three houses in which you’ve all spent your childhood in. the lights at his house were all out, at your house the front porch lights was the only one on. the lights of the living room in adam’s were on. christian glanced at the digital clock before him, 4:20. (adam’s) mom was about to go on her morning run anytime soon. “y/n, wake up we’re here” he said parking the car. “we are?” you said rubbing your eyes, disoriented. “oh my god, we are”.

you stretched for a bit before asking “what time is it?”

“4:21”

“mom’s gonna go on a run”

“yeah we should go inside before she goes out, at least she’ll open the door for us” he said. you both stepped out of the car. you grabbed a juice box before closing the door. “you sure you wanna do this?” christian asked as he turned to face you. “seriously?” he added, you looked like a child with your little box and little straw. “what?” you asked, “i’m thirsty! plus i need some sugar in my system before we do this, i hate confrontation” you added. you dug in your pocket and pulled out some gum strips, “here” you said handing christian a piece, “if we’re gonna confront someone, we should at least look cool” you said. he took it and began walking towards adam’s house.

this is it.

“ewwww, ugh! oh my god!”

“are you okay??”

“i was! until i decided to chew mint gum while drinking orange juice” you frown. christian smiled.

“never change, y/n”

——————————

adam was shuffling about in the kitchen, looking for a glass to get some water. the large amount of sugar he had consumed from the cookies had caught up to him and he was parched. “oh my god, you scared me! why are you still awake?” his mom’s voice startled him. “i scared you?!” he sighed. “jeez, go get some sleep adam” she lightly patted on his back. “morning run?” he asked, “yeah, you wanna join me?” she asked, “maybe tomorrow…” adam muttered. a knock on the door interrupted their small talk, “can you fill this up for me?” she asked handing him her water bottle. “sure”.

a surprised gasp get from hell lips as she opened the door. “jay? y/n! what are you kids doing here?!”

adam felt his heart drop to his stomach. you were both here.

why were you here?

[leossmoonn]

Play Ground Days

masterlist

pairing - carl gallagher x fem!reader

type - fluff

note / request - “ughh FINALLY someone that writes good imagines abt carl from shameless! could you write one where you two grew up together and you've always been close n stuff and then at some point he realizes he loves the reader and he talks to ian and lip (maybe mickey too bc i love him) about it? (fem!reader btw if that's cool) thanks babe xx” thanks for inspo on the beginning @poesflygirl​ <3 ,,, carl and you are 16 also pls dont come for me ive only played COD 2 times last year so lmao i dont remember a lot about it, enjoy!

summary - carl has liked you since you two were young, and seeks advice from his brothers and mickey

warnings - strong language, drugs and alcohol, little talk about bad body imagine 

————

*gif isnt mine*

“I fucking knew it!” Lip exclaimed.

“Why are you telling us? We’ve known this.” Ian commented, smirking at his little brother.  

“How the hell—” Carl started. 

“You’re not exactly great at hiding your crush on her,” Mickey chuckled. 

Carl’s eyes were the size of saucers. “You knew?”

“Of course I did. I’m not fucking Helen Keller,” Mickey rolled his eyes. 

Carl groaned and ran his hands roughly through his hair. “I can’t believe this. Well, secret’s out, I guess. What do I do?”

“Just go tell her you like her. It’s not like she’s going to turn you down.” Lip shrugged, putting his cigarette to his lips. 

“Lip!” Ian hit his brother’s shoulder. 

“What?” Lip asked. 

“You weren’t supposed to say that, dumbass,” Mickey said.

 “What does that mean?” Carl asked, looking in-between his brother’s and Mickey. 

Lip sighed. “Ah, shit, right. I’ve already said too much.”

————

4 hours earlier: 2:00 PM

“Hey, shit head!” She called out, throwing rocks against the window. 

Carl got up from his bed, shocked but happy to see her. He opened his window, leaning against the frame. 

“What’re you doing here?” He asked.

She threw the rocks to the ground. “Escaping from my druggie dad, duh. What’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” Carl shrugged. 

She did her signature smirk that always made Carl’s heart flutter. “Wanna go and stuff our faces at Patsy’s Pies?”

Carl’s eyes lit up at the mention of fatty, greasy food. “Hell yeah. I’ll come down.”

She nodded, going to the front of their house. Carl ran down the stairs, putting on his shoes and opening the door to find her on the steps. 

“Hey, why didn’t you just come into the house?” Carl asked, shutting the door behind him. 

“Putting damage on your window seemed more fun. Oh, hey! Do you have an extra bed I can sleep in tonight?” She asked. 

Carl nodded. “Yeah, of course. Your dad is that bad, huh?”

“Yep, he relapsed. Super fun,” she laughed sarcastically. 

“I’m sorry. That shit sucks,” Carl said.

She shrugged. “Yeah, well, it’s life. Anyways, ready to go?”

Carl nodded. They got into her car, the girl starting it and driving fast to the dinner. As she was driving, humming to the songs on the radio, Carl stared at her. She was absolutely gorgeous. 

Her name was Y/n L/n. Carl’s oldest and only real friend. They had grown up together, Y/n living only a few houses away from him. They had met in detention in 1st grade and had been close ever since. 

“What’re you staring at?” Y/n asked, glancing over to him. 

Carl blushed. “Nothing.”

“Alright,” Y/n sang.

Carl had often been caught staring at her. It was something he usually did from time to time, but now it was more often. He couldn’t help it. There was something about her. Maybe flawless her skin was, how pretty and bright her smile and eyes were, the way she would make him feel secure and loved, something he had never got from anyone consitently. 

He never really knew why he thought those things about her. People had told him that he probably had a crush on her, but he knew that wasn’t right. He had crushes on girls before and the things he was feeling for Y/n were a lot different than what he had felt for his past girlfriends. He figured it was just that she was his closest friend and he happened to be a horny teenager, so naturally, he just thought those things about her. But oh, how wrong he actually was. 

Y/n parked her car at Patsy’s Pies. They walked into the diner, seeing Fiona at the register. 

“Hey, Fi,” Y/n smiled. 

“Hey, Y/n, Carl! Long time, no see. How are ya?” Fiona asked. 

“Good, good,” Y/n smiled. 

“Good,” Carl said. 

“Great! Well, get yourself seated and someone will be right with you,” she smiled. 

Y/n and walked off to a small booth and sat down. They picked up the menus that were already on the table. 

“You gonna get your usual?” Y/n asked. 

Carl shrugged. “Maybe. Should I change it up?”

“Yes. The double bacon cheeseburger looks good,” Y/n said. 

“Are you getting that?” Carl asked. 

“Maybe. I’ll probably get a salad or something. Gotta watch those calories, you know?” She half-joked, putting a hand on her stomach. 

“I think you look good. You don’t need to worry,” Carl smiled. 

Y/n’s eyes widened. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Carl nodded. 

Y/n looked back at the menu, hiding her embarrassment.

Carl complimenting her was something that was rare, but did happen. Y/n never remembered Carl as a romantic type of guy, but it seems that he had developed  those traits from having a few girlfriends. She liked that, actually. She liked him complimenting her, staring at her for minutes at a time, the way his ears would turn red when she teased him. She liked all of that. 

Y/n would never admit it to anyone, but she had a crush on Carl. She had a crush on him since their freshman year of high school. Well, in reality, she probably has always had one, but the first time she really realised she liked him was in biology when he got in trouble in one of the labs. She remembered when the teacher was yelling at him and he looked at her, smiling at her mischievously and winking at her. That wink had her heart racing and mind go foggy. From then on, she had liked him as more than a friend. Yet, she never said anything because well, as cliche as it was, she was afraid of ruining their friendship. He was really the only one who got her and who never abandoned her. She couldn’t lose him, so she just kept her feelings and gestures to him as friendly as she could.  

“Hi, I’m Carly and I’ll be serving you today. What can I get you today?” The waitress asked. 

“Hi, can I get the philly cheesesteak with a medium coke and fries,” Carl ordered. 

Carly nodded and wrote his order down, turning to Y/n. 

“Um, I’ll get the bacon cheeseburger with a small sprite and fries. Thanks,” Y/n ordered. 

Carly took their menus. “Great. I’ll have your drinks out soon.”

Y/n and Carl smiled at the waitress as she walked away. 

“Hey, so I thought your dad was in rehab,” Carl said. 

Y/n sighed. “He was, but I guess his girlfriend got him drunk, then convinced him to do some lines. God, I can’t believe he's even with her still.”

Carl frowned. “What about your mom? Where’s she?”

“She’s going to nursing school right now. She’s the only one responsible in this family, yet she never calls or anything,” she scoffed.

“You’re really responsible,” Carl said. 

Y/n smiled. “Thanks, C. You are, too.”

Carl laughed, “Me? I sold drugs on the streets once.”

She giggled. “True. But you’ve really shaped. I'm proud.”

Carl smiled sheepishly. “Thanks.”

Y/n hummed a ‘you’re welcome’. Carly came back with their food quickly and they dug in. Carl and Y/n spent their time talking and eating, spending about 2 hours there as they just kept talking. 

“Are you two finished?” Carly asked, gesturing to their empty plates. 

“Yeah,” Carl nodded. 

“Great. Here’s your bill, pay whenever you’re ready,” Carly smiled and took their dirty dishes. 

“Ready to go?” Y/n asked. 

Carl nodded and got out his wallet that he had in his shorts. Meanwhile, Y/n also got out her wallet. They both looked up at each other, awkward expressions on their faces. 

“Oh, I was gonna pay,” Carl said. “No, no, my treat. I invited you here,” Y/n said. 

“You sure?” Carl asked. 

She smiled and put a hand on his arm. “Yes, I am, Carl.”

Butterflies irrupted in Carl’s stomach as she touched him. He nodded slowly, putting his credit card away. Y/n and him walked up to the register and paid for their meal. They then went back to Y/n car. 

“What do you wanna do now?” Y/n asked. 

“Wanna play COD Black Ops 3?” Carl asked. 

“Yes!” Y/n smiled. She drove them back to his house, parking haphazardly on the street. 

The two hurried into the house, grabbing a seat on the couch. Carl got the controllers, turning onto the playstation. Y/n logged onto her account, selecting the gun she wanted to use. Carl then started the game. 

“Where are you?” Y/n squinted her eyes at the screen. 

“Right behind you,” Carl smirked. 

Y/n turned around, gasping as Carl shot her. 

“Fuck you!” Y/n exclaimed. 

“Little rusty, huh?” Carl teased. She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna kill you next round.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Carl said. 

“Winner gets to pick what’s for dinner,” Y/n said. 

“Deal,” Carl nodded. 

The pair played for a couple hours, the game ending with Y/n getting the last kill. 

“Good game,” she smirked, setting the controller down. 

“I forgot how good you were at this,” Carl frowned. Y/n giggled, “I forgot how bad you were.”

Carl rolled his eyes with a smile. “Alright, where do you want to eat?”

“Hm… Noodles n Company?” She suggested. 

“Sure,” Carl nodded. 

“Alright, I’m gonna use the bathroom and then order. Text me what you want,” Y/n said, getting up from the couch. 

Carl nodded and watched her go upstairs to use the bathroom. Then that’s when Lip, Ian, and Mickey all came into the house. 

“Hey, guys,” Carl said. 

“Hey,” Ian smiled. 

“Is Y/n here? We saw her car out front,” Lip said. “Yeah, she is,” Carl nodded. 

“Asked her out yet?” Lip smirked. Carl’s face turned red. “Wh-What?”

“Oh, you’re not in love with her then?” Ian furrowed his brows. 

“I… am I?” Carl asked. 

Ian chuckled. “Yeah. You always are always happy around her, blush whenever she teases you.”

“And you’re always staring at her,” Lip added.

“That doesn’t mean I like her,” Carl said.

“Do feel dizzy and nauseous when she touches you? Does your heart race when she gets close? Do you see yourself kissing her? Would you do anything for her?” Ian asked. 

Carl furrowed his brows. They were right, all those things did happen when she was near. She was his best friend. He also sometimes think about kissing her and being with her in a romantic way. And yeah, of course he would do anything for her. Maybe… Maybe he did love her. 

“Oh, shit,” he muttered. “I… I guess I am in love with her.”

And that, ladies and gents, is where we left off. Lip, Ian, and Mickey teased Carl until Carl begged them for real help. 

“What do you mean?” Carl asked anxiously. 

Lip looked to Ian and Mickey for help on what to say. Little did Carl know, Y/n actually did admit her crush to someone. And that someone, or someones, were Lip, Ian, and Mickey. 

“Don’t worry about it, man,” Mickey said. 

“Did she say something to you?” Carl asked. “No,” Ian shook his head. “Like Mick said, don’t worry.”

“I… fine. Well, what do I do then?” Carl asked in slight distress.

“Give her some flowers and chocolate. Girls love that shit,” Lip suggested. 

“Alright,” Carl nodded. “I don’t know what her favourite flowers are, though.”

“Just get her roses. That’s really romantic,” Lip said. 

Carl smiled, “Alright. Awesome. Thanks, guys.”

He decided to get the flowers early morning tomorrow before Y/n woke up. 

————

Carl sneaked back into the house, hoping not to wake Y/n up. As he walked into the kitchen, he was shocked to see her at the table drinking coffee. 

“Hey, Carl!” Y/n smiled. 

Carl’s eyes were blown wide. “I.. uh…”

“Who are those for?” Y/n got up and pointed to the flowers and chocolate in his hand. 

“Um… you?” Carl said. Y/n smiled. “Me? What did I do to deserve this?”

Carl knew that he couldn’t make up an excuse. He was horrible at lying to her. So, he decided to just have his confession here. 

“I.. I’m in love with you,” Carl said. Y/n’s jaw dropped and she froze. “Wha-What?”

“My brothers and Mickey helped me realise I was yesterday when you were ordering dinner. They told me I should get you flowers and stuff so I did. I hope you like roses,” Carl explained and held up the gifts. 

Y/n’s lips upturned in a wide smile. “How long have you liked me?”

“Honestly, probably since we were little,” Carl shrugged sheepishly. 

Y/n giggled. “Me, too.”

“Really?” Carl smiled. 

Y/n waked up to him and took the gifts, setting them on the kitchen counter. She went up to him and put her arms around his neck. 

“Yep. I always have,” she grinned. 

“Oh, sick!” Carl exclaimed. “Oh wait.”

“What?” Y/n asked in confusion. 

“That’s what they meant!” Carl exclaimed in realisation.

“Who? What?” “Oh, Lip, Mickey, and Ian kind of told me yesterday when I asked for help,” Carl explained. 

Y/n’s eyes widened and she turned to the stairs, glaring. “Mickey, Lip, Ian! You better fucking run!”  

————

Like and Reblog!

add yourself to the taglist here

taglist (crossed out means i couldnt tag)

@kaitieskidmore1 @the-anxious-youth @little-miss-naill @powerpuffluuvv

[babesonly]

fic recs 2.0!

hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest

Canonverse

I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)

I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.

Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.

"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.

a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it

on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)

“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”

hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible

dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)

Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.

dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh

Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)

Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.

hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !

walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)

Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.

S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god

the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)

Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."

MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids​ purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god

Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)

Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.

Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs

JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS. 

hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)

Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.

they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)

In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...

an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)

Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.

The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.

hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)

This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny. 

ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...

love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)

ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!

These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.

for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot

the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out

Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)

Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.

cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much

Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.

written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3

sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)

"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good

Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)

“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”

Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.

early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please

Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)

Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.

Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.

oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)

He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3

First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together

Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)

Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”

op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible

the shape you take by noviembre (10k)

“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”

And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”

Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:

Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.

Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”

--

Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.

dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you

Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)

Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).

yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?

you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)

Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.

Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.

love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean 

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible

No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex

Bodies by Speary (18k)

It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.

i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)

So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.

“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”

“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.

Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.

“What do you remember, Cas?”

“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."

or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?

BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)

Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.

He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.

Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.

this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.

Dean was done with this shit.

***

Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease 

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)

His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.

His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.

this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)

Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.

In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.

mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.

(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much

Emergence by ellispark (58k)

Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.

A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.

another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god

a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved

Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)

Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds

Or

An ethics lesson from Hell

Or

The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.

deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended

Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)

Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.

There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.

Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.

With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.

saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read

Casefic/Roadtrip Fic

Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)

Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.

He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.

Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.

Castiel stills.

“Dean?”

the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much

before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)

Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.

thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good

Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this

best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)

It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.

the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)

This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.

alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much

Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)

Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.

Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?

one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3

Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)

Based on the tumblr textpost:

jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face

Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)

“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.

Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.

“What is it, Cas?”

“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.

“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”

There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)

Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.

It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.

Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.

Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.

Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.

i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much

Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)

Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.

Dean will tell him—

Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.

cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)

Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good 

Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)

When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:

Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.

The reality of the moment is this:

It’s fucking cold.

dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences

my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)

“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

--

In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am

killing time by orestespdf (11k)

It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.

(A character study of Castiel.)

perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.

and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)

Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.

--

aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.

a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah

for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)

'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD

swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)

Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.

Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.

this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)

"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."

Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal

what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

~~~

"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"

"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."

deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic

Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)

Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.

So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.

And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.

"Hello, Dean."

oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.

SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss

ascend by quiettewandering (53k)

Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should

oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

~~~

"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

"What?" Dean grits out.

"I love you, too."

the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying

Endverse

final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)

“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”

"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."

endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god

The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)

The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."

this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds

to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)

cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.

oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao

the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)

The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.

this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach

Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)

There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.

The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.

PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.

Non Supernatural AUS

Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it

One White Lie by komodobits (11k)

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.

separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)

Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.

~~~

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.

God, he's so fucking stupid.

Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.

"Three years ago," Cas prompts.

Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."

this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him

Non Destiel Centric

gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)

sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want? 

HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god. 

the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)

Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.

required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good

Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)

In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)

for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3

Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)

Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."

this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this

[choptop-sawyer]

Hi again 😎💫 im here to dig at ur brain again bcs i. M. Aaa sorry i just love ur stuff but. I have this kinda rly specific storyline type hc area and I'd love to hear any hcs you might get from it if its at all jr thing. But um I keep sometimes thinking back to the idea of kinda, vaguely growing up in the same area as the Sawyers, being childhood friends (and being stupid 2gether, running arount the countryside, ditching school & playing in corn fields) -

But then having to leave in your late teens to school / whatever (I mean 😎 my sappy ass also thinks abt mutual pining w Bobby but you know...... nearly unrelated.......)

Then, later on (Bobbys now Chop Top, Nubbins is..... dead I guess but also >:( maybe not, the family is up to being a mess etc) returning to town to take a break from work or whatever. N meeting up w the family again, i mean, oblivious to the bullshit they get up to but.... yk

This is a bit rambly i should probs have waited to sleep but I can't get the thought of returning to the Sawyer door wearing Bobbys tie dye sweatshirt that hr borrowed u years ago and all the impact of being a former family member bc u were also kind of an outsider or whatever but also the drama of leaving so uwu sksjd

This got so long. All i wanted to ask is: sawyer family headcanons for a childhood friend returning to town after being away for years. Rip.

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS god I love the image too of just standing in the doorway,, you're not home, you've changed a little bit, but you still fit into some of the old aspects you know so well they fit you and cover you.

Actually this is great because that fic that I swear exists has pretty much the same premise but!!! I can make this one less tragic than that one. 😎

(This is mostly Chop Top n you centric please don't mind)

Also this timeline is all fucky. I think that as soon as Chop came home from Vietnam the Sawyers had basically uprooted themselves and were living in North Texas because of the... Hardesty incident. But like can we pretend that that never happened they r still there in Newt? Just for this. (Hope you like it!)

Chop Top's Childhood Friend Returns

You don't think you would have turned out the way you did without the Sawyers.

They were the main element of your childhood, a mystery that you had to be a part of. A mystery, because they were closed off. Mistrustful. The sickness of small towns carried to the extreme, because they were mostly alone. The loneliness made them more miserable, the misery made them more isolated. A cycle, a legacy.

So it was a a miracle that you were even allowed to be apart of some of it, but you attribute that miracle to Bobby.

He seemed to think you were as much of mystery as what you thought the Sawyers were. Two kids looking through a small window into another world. But he liked that. He liked that you were something different, something new. From beyond that small world of loneliness that lived in the house.

You learned quickly that he had a desire for anything beyond that world. So he'd invite you out with him, when you were kids, to run free in the tall grass, when you got older, to drive with him to places unknown. He had a knack for finding these odd places, and he always brought you along with the music cranked up loud on the radio.

Bobby told you many times that he wanted to see the world. He had this lust for life that went beyond the restlessness of the young. He also said that he wanted to bring you along with him when he saw the world. You didn't ever mention how that always made your heart skip a beat when he said that.

Maybe you should have. But the past is the past and you can't change that.

You knew the other Sawyers too, but Bobby tended to avoid them sometimes. But occasionally, you got to hang out with them.

Nubbins was an enigma. You didn't think Nubbins was his real name. But that's the only one you heard from him, but the name situation was the least confusing thing. He was the most open person you knew. And yet you couldn't understand him, and decided at some point that you wouldn't ever. But he was fun. His energy was infectious, if he was filled with joy, you couldn't help but laugh with him too. That was Nubbins, so absent of any purposeful deceit that he was almost a mirror, you saw yourself around him, sometimes it was uncomfortable, but other times it was fun.

Bubba was the opposite. He seemed to be legitimately wary of you. Bobby once told you that Bubba didn't like to leave the house, ever. He stayed and did the chores. You wondered if he minded, being stuck with all the chores but Bobby said he didn't. It was comforting for him. Always having something set to do. You only saw him once. Nubbins had made him tag along when he needed him to hang some things from a tree. Bones from indeterminate animals, a clock with a nail through it. You don't think Nubbins actually needed Bubba to reach the branches (he climbed pretty well) but he just wanted his little brother to see his work. Bubba didn't make eye contact with you the entire time. He was wholly focused on his task of helping Nubbins. But he was gentle when he helped his brother, careful, and for that you liked him.

Drayton was... well. He was the one Bobby argued with the most. He was his brother, but with how much age between the two, it was almost hard to believe sometimes. Drayton was the one that everybody in Newt knew the most. People liked him well enough, but they said he was odd behind his back. He knew that. You don't think he trusted anything outside the insular world he and his family had existed in for years, and was at odds with Bobby because he didn't get why Bobby wanted anything to do with the world outside.

Oftentimes you would see Bobby after he and Drayton got into it. He'd be fuming, but he'd smile when he saw you. You'd leave with him whenever he came to you. These adventures were the most fun you had when you were there.

The other times you'd go off were when he'd convince you to skip school. Bobby never went himself. He didn't get the idea of all those kids sitting in classrooms for hours, doing nothing but writing and listening. Why do that when you can find things out for yourself? Get into some trouble? In his mind, he was saving you from a very boring thing.

You two knew the area around Newt well. The fields and the flat expanses were the best kind of playground. Your dreams were still set in them. A kind of sunshine filled melancholy.

Bobby told you things in the grass. His dreams yes, but his own thoughts. On music, on late night radio, on movies, on you. He perhaps thought of you as wonderful as voices on the radio, stars on the screen. He never told you that though. But your name was never far from his mouth when Bobby talked about the things he loved.

You and him loved each other as much as two kids who didn't know how to could. He was always on your mind now, with not much tangible objects to remember him with. A photograph taken by Nubbins, your faces blurred because you were laughing. A button, the pin on the back bent. A sweatshirt, which he tie dyed himself, and gave to you one night. The colors were faded. You never did get to return it.

The years away did nothing to lessen thoughts of him. No, they just blurred all together now, and the stream of the sunshine filled melancholy was almost endless. You needed a break. There was only one place you could think of that could help you with that.

So you came back. All things led back to this place eventually. Newt was dying, or dead. Didn't you see somewhere that when a ship went down, it took everything with it? You didn't want to stay for long. But you had to see all of them, you had to know that they were all not these strange figures you had dreamt up.

You went right to the house. You'd never actually been allowed inside, Bobby just always said something along the lines of 'Grandma and Grandpa are napping upstairs' or 'there's a mess' (never mind that he could care less usually about messes.) But you figured he had had a good reason. Maybe he was embarrassed.

When you knocked on the door, your heart was pounding. And that was all. Nothing happened, no indication that anyone was there. You waited, the sweatshirt was too hot but you didn't want to take it off.

Maybe you should come back another time. You were just about to turn around and leave when the door burst open, almost whacking you in the face. And there (you couldn't believe your eyes you couldn't this was a dream) he was.

Bobby had a hammer raised over his head, grinning, he was poised to swing it down, but then he saw you and he felt as if he was in a dream too.

It's been so long. He thought he made you up, a dream to carry him through misery, and you looked the part, even as you stood before him on the doorway. The light of the setting sun shone behind you, heat waves shimmered in the dusk, and you... you.

Facing each other, you stood, just staring. Over head the sky grew colorful, in the fields the grass whispered in the wind. Nothing had changed. Everything had changed. Bobby dropped the hammer and grabbed for your face, and he held it, fingers digging in so tight it hurt.

"H-hey you." He said, and fell to his knees, releasing your face. You numbly touched the marks his fingers left. Bobby still looked like a man who had seen a ghost.

You called his name, and his eyes looked lost, like he hadn't heard it in a long time. He looked up at you, and you could really get a good look at him. His face was leaner, he looked sickly and wiry, but his eyes were just as you remembered. You sank down to the porch to sit with him.

"Fuck... FUCK I didn't... I- I thought ya'd forgotten all about me... uh.. uhm. Fuck! I mean, r-really! Turnin' up out of the blue like you're some kinda... ghost or whatever... WHOA man... like, ya here to return m-my, my sweatshirt? You're wearin' it, you can keep it! You look better in it anyway... heh, fuck." He rambled on and on, hands tensing and twitching as if they were moving to touch you again, just to reaffirm your existence. Did he know how glad you were to see him? Did he know that you hadn't felt right for the longest time being away?

You forgot all about the sweatshirt, the hammer he had raised with a sadistic grin. You reached out and held one of his twitching hands, and he stilled and stopped talking. There was a peace now.

It didn't seem possible for your heart to feel this full. But it was. And by god, if this wasn't the best decision you made in your life to visit your old hometown, if only just for this moment.

Bobby stood, with your hand still in his, pulling you up. He smiled at you, and you knew you still loved him, and in your deepest heart, you knew he loved you too.

But this time around, maybe you and him could love each other right.

[kanmom51]

hi, genuinely curious, why do you think you know so much about bts’s personal lives? like just shipping real people in general that you don’t now personally, bc i saw some of ur posts(not just u, a LOT of others seem to think the same) and i’m confused like how do you know all that from a video/photo?

Ask 2:  hi i think i might have sounded rude in my last anon and im so so sorry if i did, i don’t mean to sound mean but english isn’t my first language and i don’t now how else to write it.

What i mean is i just can’t see it, but so many ppl including you seem convinced jimin and jungkook are a couple? i now there’s probably something i’m missing that’s obvious to everyone else bc to me they just seem like really good and close friends, so like what is it that you think makes it obvious?? (again i’m just genuinely curious abt this pls don’t take it the wrong way 💜)

I’m not clairvoyant and don’t claim to know what goes on behind closed doors.  I have said time and time again that we have no way of knowing what goes on when the cameras are off or when they are in private, unless they tell us.

I do speculate sometimes and make assumptions based on the content I’ve seen, but always original content, and not edited clips.  

I have also made it clear every single time that these are my opinions and conclusions, take them or leave them.

There is a ton of BTS content out there to go through, which includes, just as an example (because there is so much more):  Run BTS episodes, interviews (video, written and radio), member Tweets, memories, Bon Voyage, packages (summer, winter), Bangtan bombs, fan meets, Musters, concerts etc.

You need to watch original content, because, and it saddens me to say this, there is some Jikook YT content that is distorted, edited, slow motioned to fit the story, and not all of it is ‘real’ in the sense, that if you see the original content, see the true moment within it’s context and in real speed, well, it isn’t a ‘real’ moment.  I have called out some of those moments in the past.

But there are things you can’t fake.  

There a several moments that solidified for me the special connection between JK & JM.  

Watch original content over the years and you will see there is something special between those two, a special and strong connection.  JK clearly finds JM as someone he can confide in and someone that can calm him or console him in times of need.  He has said it in interviews and we have seen him do so in the content out there.

JM is JK’s anchor.  His safe place.

JK is JM’s happy place.  When JM is down JK is the one who knows how to cheer him up.  Even Jin had mentioned it once in an interview.

JK is JM’s protector in sorts.  We’ve seen them at the airports, we’ve seen him carry JM after concerts.

They are super close.  We know they constantly choose to travel together in the same car (when every member has their own car and they are the only ones together)...  They choose spend ‘off time’ together - bowling, going to watch a movie, ice skating with each other.  JK himself told us in BV4 that the only members he sae during their time off were JM & Hobi.  They are just super close.

So what made me make the one step further and conclude they are romantically involved?

There are several things that pushed me over the edge.  Some of them are:

First, the content, again.  There is content out there that is way beyond “we are very close platonic friends”.  Things they say or do in front of the camera that give you so much “we are a couple” vibe. 

There is content that makes you feel like you are intruding on a very intimate private moment: 

MAMA 2018 is one of them.  I can’t say one, because there are so many moments there that are “WOW, what’s going on here?”

Rose Bowl is also such a moment that is as clear as day, with no acceptable logical explanation other than: “there is something more between those two”.  

Those are only 2 examples, but there are many more such moments, where the intimacy level is way more than even the best platonic friendship out there.

You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to put 1 & 1 together here.  These moments are loud and clear.

There are the more subtle moments too, those that add up on you, those that if you will look at each of them by themselves you would say: “yeah, nothing here”, but when you put them together, another one and another one and another one, well the conclusion is pretty much clear.

It’s JM’s Tweets, their matching clothing over the years, their choice to spend time together, their private trip, GCFT, JK’s choice to put JM front and center in all his other GCF’s, the way they look at each other, the way they talk about each other, the two very famous lives from 2016 (Tae’s & Hobi’s), their own lives (OMG), things JM tells us (like waking up and seeing JK is what makes him happy these days), “you are me I am you”,  the way they touch, especially during the first few years (2016-2018), those hesitant light touches & brushes (if skinship is not an issue here, why do they hesitate so much to touch each other??? when they have no problem doing so with the others, all when we do know just how close they are), the way they talk to each other, they way JK lets JM get away with shit, while he doesn’t the other members, the way JK drops honorifics with JM +++++ so much more.

There another couple of independent points that helped to push me over the edge too.  

The first is the other members reactions when JK & JM go on with their shenanigans.  RM, Hobi, Jin, Suga & Tae all react differently, each and every one of them has a tell.  Suga and Tae go blank many times.  Jin lowers his head.  Hobi either had a worried look on his face or a big fat smile, and RM, well he’s the most obvious out of the lot.  It’s facial expressions, uneasy movement, fisting his thighs, looking to Hobi or Suga with pleading eyes, running to the two thinking he might have to defuse a moment, separating the two when he feels it’s needed.  It’s all that and then some.  Now if there is nothing ‘more’ going on between those two, why is all of that even necessary???  Those two’s interactions on camera just make the rest of the group nervous, especially RM.  Ask yourself the question: why??  

Another thing I keep asking myself is, if these two are clearly super close, why is there a constant need to downplay their closeness?  This is something that is done by BTS and BH as well as the fandom.  And I find it hard to understand, again, if there is nothing extra going on between them, why downplay them.  You may disagree with me on this, but to me it seems they are way closer than JM & Tae, but they are called ‘soulmates’ while JK & JM are ‘nothing’? It’s like they are there, and it’s clear as day just how close they are, but it’s not a subject they are allowed to talk about.  And the way the fandom is as much as ignoring it also raises so many questions for me.  If this is an innocent platonic close friendship, why ignore it?  How come the fandom isn’t celebrating it? 

Thing is, that not only does the fandom ignore their connection, they are being hated for it.  The level of anti and hatred  out there towards them is unbelievable.  And yet again, that raises the question of why?  If nothing is going on there why such anti towards those two, together, in particular?

At the end of the day, I guess life experience is probably what helps me out here.  I have been around for a while, experienced love and heartbreak, and also a long term relationship. I know the signs, you could say.  It helps being able to assess a situation and read into it.  

It’s ok to question yourself.  I do so constantly.  I watch and re-watch content.  I read interviews, I question my logic, my conclusions.  I, just like any normal person, do have self doubt at times.  Believe me, I would not have written what I have before checking and re-checking myself.  And still, these are my conclusions.  I believe that JK & JM are not only super close, but also romantically involved.  There you have it.

[suga-kookiemonster]

i’ve been thinking a lot abt the comment you made abt how yoongi had a helluva lot of people cheering for him at the concert (like, pleasantly surprised at the jungkook level kinda cheering) and forgive me if you already talked about this or if someone else did or if this seems irrelevant, but yoongi was a huge reason as to why i got into BTS. it was during his first agust d mixtape and hearing “the last” and straight up naming the struggles he went through but then in the end saying “i’m okay, don’t worry” and i just— the rawness of it all. and then following him through the years and hearing him share genuine wisdom and understanding of the human experience. his radio show helped me so much during the pandemic, just hearing him talk and share his own thoughts on life. this man has helped me so much during my own mental health journey and owning my own identity that, with a large group of humans who’ve gone through hella shit, hearing not only transparency from him, but that there is hope that can be found and created, idk, like. that’s my assumption as to why there are a massive amount of yoongi stans who may not be as vocal on the internet, but make sure to really let him know when in-person, each cheer and scream being, “thank you for seeing us, yoongi, we promise we see you too”

but maybe i’m overthinking it and it’s only because he’s physically stunning, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(i literally made myself cry writing this damn thing LMAO but i think i’m especially grateful to yoongi bc he’s also the one who led me to the rest of the boys)

anyways thanks for having your inbox open so that i can dump these feelings anonymously somewhere :’)

honestly, i'm sure there are some newer fans who like him because he's cute or sexy (bc lbrh, he is). but i'm totally with you! what drew me to yoongi was his talent first, and then the more i got a sense of who he was as a person, i really clicked with how real he was. he's quiet, but that doesn't mean he's meek--he's very observant and introspective, and if you ask him a question, he's gonna fucking answer it, whether you like that answer or not. like, he's very blunt like i am, and he's not afraid to acknowledge the darker sides of life that society often likes to sweep under the rug. i completely understand how people relate to and comfort in him and his struggles with mental health, because when things are in media, they are normalized and destigmatized. i just love him so much, and was so fucking happy when it was proven during those concerts that so many other fans do too. yoongi seems like such a beautiful human being and i'm glad he's actually being appreciated by the fandom 🤧

[sanchoyo]

Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸

🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)

This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:

-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL

-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao

-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO

-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it. 

-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)

-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/

-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)

-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)

-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too. 

-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun

-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO

-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)

-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho

-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?) 

-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)

-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...

I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:

-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.

-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.

-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours

-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...

-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...

-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.

-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)

-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.

-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.) 

-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.

-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:

Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)

Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)

Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)

Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace

Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels

Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)

Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c

Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)

ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!

[isolctions]

@thvndcrstrvck​ asked: ultimate relationship tag for mars & teyani :~)

relationship tag*

*only accepting for established ships. (domo gets a pass bc i luv them <3)

disagreements.

who is more likely to raise their voice? — i feel like they do an equal amount of voice raising. the only real difference is that i feel like mars is more loud in tone & the type to go “i’m not yelling!!!!!” whereas teyani’s yelling takes on more of a stern tone. who threatens to leave but never actually does? — mars, prbly. who actually keeps their word and leaves? — teyani. she absolutely served him papers while he was at work. who trashes the house? — nobody, tf? they’re too old for that shit. do either of them get physical? — i...would think not. because teyani is extremely passive & if mars would’ve tried it, she would have left earlier. so no. how often do they argue / disagree? — it prbly wasn’t often in the beginning of their relationship, but one of those “when it happens it’s messy” type of arguments. now, best believe it’s an argument every two hours as their relationship is incredible strained. who is the first to apologize? — teyani.

sex.

it’s me having no idea what their sex life is like bc we haven’t plotted out this far, #help. they did the do until they no longer liked each other, now they don’t.

family.

we also didn’t plot out this far. but i mean, teyani having her daughter is canon so she and ines were/are a package deal (like was she pregnant before this relationship??? after??? was ines already born??? chile, idk.) and i’m sure mars was cool with helping her while they were together. mmcht.

affection.

who likes to cuddle? — teyani is a big cuddler. who is the little spoon? — truthfully, mars! as much as she likes being held, she also likes to do the holding. you never know when ur partner needs that kinda comfort. who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? — while doing this, i kind of have this idea in my head that neither would like to inconvenience the other when they’re doing smthn important. but if they’re watching a movie on the couch or some shit, teyani might be the one to start sneaky touching. who struggles to keep their hands to themselves? — boffum. depends on the mood. how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? — if they’re not already asleep, maaaaaaybe an hour? hour and a half max? who gives the most kisses? — teyani. what is their favorite non-sexual activity? — teyani likes hand holding. mars might like doing smthn hands on like helping cook or some shit. where is their favorite place to cuddle? — the practical places, such as the couch while unwinding or in bed before going to sleep. who is more likely to playfully grope the other? — maybe mars. how often do they get time to themselves? — not mf often!! which is why teyani tries making the most out of it whenever they’re around each other.

sleeping.

who snores? — mars. do they share a bed or sleep separately? — they once shared a bed, but now they sleep separately. either in different rooms or one is in a different location all together. if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? — used to cozy up until one steals a blanket or gets hot. who talks in their sleep? — prbly teyani. what do they wear to bed? — um...pajamas? are either of your muses insomniacs? — it would more than likely be teyani. it can be hard to sleep sometimes when spirits keep bugging you at all hours. can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? — nope. do they wrap their limbs around each other or stay side by side? — it prbly was a slow transition from being wrapped around each other to laying back to back. real divorcee shit. who wakes up with bed hair? — um, mars keeps his hair short & teyani got a bonnet or a scarf on. who wakes up first? — teyani’s always been an early bird. plus she was prbly already up anyway. who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? — NO ONE!! get ur ass up to eat! like, they’ll make a PLATE for the other but you better get tf up if you wanna eat it. what is their favorite sleeping position? — teyani tends to lay on her side curled up, while i feel like mars is more of a ‘lay on the stomach sprawled out like a starfish’ kinda guy. who hogs the sheets? — mars. so selfish. do they set an alarm each night? — ya, they got jobs. can a television be found in their room? — i wanna say, like...tv’s in bedrooms are so common now...but also...i feel like no??? idk i’m making shit up who has nightmares? — mars? i mean he for the streets, so i’m sure he has nightmares? who has ridiculous dreams? — teyani has visions that mars would prbly write off as ridiculous dreams, ergnerjk. who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? — i said mars so it’s the law now what time is bed time? — uh? idk? 11pm maybe? any routines / rituals before bed? — bathing & brushing teeth. teyani does skin care and moisturizes and twists her hair. mars does...whatever he does...idk him like that who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? — depends on how much sleep they got

work.

who is the busiest? — they both have busy work schedules, considering they both have full time careers. but whereas teyani has more of a schedule, mars has the most unpredictable hours & his lil’ hannah montana ass double life. who rakes in the highest income? — hannah marstana. are any of your muses unemployed? — nope. who takes the most sick days? — maybe teyani? i mean she has a one year old? who is more likely to turn up late to work? — i feel like neither, but again, it would likelier be teyani. who sucks up to their boss? — eye roll. i think teyani did at first. what are their jobs? — computer analyst / medium. surgeon / liar. do their muses enjoy or despise their careers? — nah, i think they both enjoy it. are your muses financially stable? — with or without mars, she good!!

home.

who does the washing? — teyani. who takes out the trash? — boffum. who does the ironing? — teyani bc she already does laundry bc she likes it. who does the cooking? — boffum. who is more likely to burn down the house just trying? — HMMMMMMMidk. who is messier? — teyani is honestly more prone to being messy, but at least she cleans up! who leaves the toilet roll empty? — i feel like men always do this. so i’m choosing mars. who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? — teyani. but again, she goes back for it later. who forgets to flush the toilet? — ew, no one. who is the prankster around the house? — the spirits that follow teyani around. i’m not joking. who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? — teyani. who mows the lawn? — they pay somebody to do it, idk. who answers the phone? — whoever is near the damn phone? duh? who does the vacuuming? — they do their fair share. who does the groceries? — both? they’ll go together if it’s smthn specifically they want but it’s mostly just whoever calls the other and goes “hey what do u want” who takes longest to shower? — teyani if she’s washing her hair, but mostly mars. who spends the most time in the bathroom? — teyani! she has big hair! and glowing skin!

misc.

is money a problem? — no. teyani gets paid fairly well, mars is a surgeon, and also has...extracurricular activities. how many cars do they own? — teyani has to take a train to her job, so i guess one overall? maybe two if she has to go out somewhere? do they own their home or do they rent? — owned, but teyani now rents an apartment. do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? — closer to a coast. do they live in the city or in the country? — city, babey. do they enjoy their surroundings? — i mean, it’s what they’re used to. what’s their song? — ..........we’ll come back to this. what do they do when they’re away from each other? — teyani just works, really. she has a few hobbies that she tends to. has ines to care for. mars i feel like is the errand runner, and would spend his day like, doing Something. where did they first meet? — this is literally killing me i’m never doing this for a brand new ship again how did they first meet? — UHHHH whatever let’s go with they were set up. who spends the most money when they’re out shopping? — neither? at least, not intentionally? if so, it’d be on practical things like groceries. who’s more likely to flash their assets? — neither. who finds it amusing when the other trips over? — teyani. like mars is so serious...when he does smthn dumb, you just have to laugh! any mental issues? — i mean, teyani had a bout of postpartum once. who’s terrified of bugs? — not terrified, but teyani’s not exactly fond of them. who kills the spiders around the house? — mars, while teyani fearfully leads them outside. their favorite place? — the crib! who pays the bills? — boffum. do they have any fears for their future? — they are literally in the middle of getting divorced. maybe if one of them died or smthn? who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? — mars, when he feel like bein sweet. who uses up all the hot water? — mars. which is fine. who’s the tallest? — prbly mars. but teyani isn’t exactly short, either. she 5′7. who’s more likely to just randomly hop in the shower with the other? — teyani. who wanders around in their underwear? — neither. who sings the loudest when singing along with the radio? — teyani, but mostly to be annoying. what do they tease each other about? — teyani sneak-helps gianna make fun of mars abt literally anything. who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense sometimes? — i mean...they both dress kinda basic i think? do they have mutual friends? — shit, prbly. who crushed first? — teyani. any alcohol or substance related problems? — i don’t...think so? who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? — uh, maybe mars? who swears the most? — boffum.

[ikonist]

this is abt hanbin and ikon so keep scrolling

so i was high a few days ago nd watched a video about hanbin and yun and realized that yun took such good care of hanbin. he always played the ‘hyung’ card on him, teasing him and saying that he loves hanbin all the time, said his ‘mission’ was to make hanbin happy. and that got me thinking that yun must’ve helped -both emotionally and physically- hanbin throughout the years… like,,, hanbin rarely acts childish around the members since he is the leader/songwriter/composer but he does it w yunhyeong bc yun doesn’t mind it.. yun always cooks for him knowing that he was up until late in the studio, avoids waking binie early (but does if he has to), and the other members said this a bunch of times but yun is a great listener so can you imagine the amount of times he listened to hanbin’s concerns and self doubts and never complained abt it cuz he’s yunhyeong lol but those thoughts made me so sad thinking how hard it must’ve been for hanbin these past 11 months without his brothers.

tbh i don’t care if hanbin decides to live his life quietly or just producing songs for himself/his friends. i don’t care if he comes out with a full comeback, mv, etc. i rlly don’t care. the only thing i genuinely care about is if he’s happy doing whatever he is doing, and he seems to be happy these past days, so that’s enough for now. i think i’m past that point of wondering what on earth he is doing, if he’s producing more songs, creating a label, etc, but if i could ask for just one little thing, it would be to show him how much his fans love him; to show him every tweet i see with “i miss hanbin”, “hanbin pics to brighten your day!” or “hanbin compilation” posts. to show him the heartbreaking and incredible edits and posts i’ve seen about him, and how much he is loved. i know that in demo 3 he said “i know i was loved”, but i want to tell him he is loved, still. ikon is loved. ikonics never gave up on them. god, not even one ONE!! hanbin fansite closed, and it has been almost a year. think of kpop idols who lost fansites for even less than that (not that i like fansites that much but the symbolism is there). i’m so grateful that he knows how much we think about him, but every time i feel like it’s not enough. i want him to know that we’ll always be here and he’ll always be in our hearts too. i wish hanbin could see himself thru my eyes and know how kind, talented, heartwarming he is.

sometimes i ask myself if i’m not being too ‘blinded by love’ when it comes to ikon (but especially about hanbin), but then again, what is it about ikon that makes me appreciate them so much? what makes me feel this empathy for them? what is it that when i think of them, i don’t see a boygroup. i see friends who are a ‘chosen family’, who know each other so well and would never give up on their brotherhood. never. how they are totally different people, but learned what being respected and appreciated feels like, and saw how much they could grow if they listened to one another. i’m not saying that they never fought (if anything i’d put my finger on donghyuk cuz hes a capricorn living with an aries ARIES and a capricorn sag dom.. i mean…. i’d throw hands if i were him), but they learned that hierarchy in the group wouldn’t lead them anywhere. in that iheart radio interview where the lady said ‘what is ur secret to have such great teamwork/chemistry’ and they said they don’t rlly have hierarchy and (to me) this is so important for a group like ikon. 

imagine if they never took anything chanwoo says seriously just because he’s the maknae even tho he is one of the most logical members? or what would happen if hanbin had to always act like the leader when he said yunhyeong would be best fitted for that? if bobby got mad at donghyuk for playing with him just because he’s younger and they never developed that friendship? at times like this i thank ikon for being such a down to earth group. they never took anything for granted. they were humble from the beginning and kept being humble, even when they received (a lot) of  awards. in the mma speech, hanbin said ikon was a group who tried to fill an ocean into a teacup, but that only made water spill everywhere, and i think that’s true. ikon was ambitious and had such a big desire to win that it led to so many heartbreaks and tough paths for them. 

i realized once i started (fully) stanning ikon that they make you feel this immensive empathy towards them to the point where i got choked up with tears learning about their hardships. i’m not trying to say that they’re the only group who went/goes thru this; in fact, i don’t believe anyone should be put to what they had to endure predebut until now. the countless times i cried watching videos of them sleeping on the floor on tour, watching interviews/vlives where they said they want to show us what they’ve been working on, watching concerts where they broke down in tears because ‘they just wanted to see us’. it breaks me because ikon are such good boys but they aren’t even allowed to show that.

in that concert where bobby said “please protect us” and hanbin said “please protect me”... that’s what i’m talking about. ikon was always true to us. the concert was in early 2019, so imagine what they’ve gone through in 2013-2015, when they were trainees. god i can’t even wrap my head around to think how much these boys (who at the time were 16-20) suffered in their early days. being called ‘b-list’ idols because they weren’t as good as the other yg groups. having to tour for a year doing two concerts a day sometimes, while preparing for comebacks/recordings. having to use oxygen masks to perform bc they were too tired. but they always put the biggest performances because they know that moment was once in a lifetime for us. 

when ikon won soty in 2019 it was clear to me how much they appreciate what we’ve done for them and how personal the fan/idol relationship is with them. i don’t mean it as in some delulu shit but... ikon knows that we trust them. they know we will always be loyal to them, and that’s why they treasure their fans the most. only ikon knows what they went thru since 2013, but some fans who have been with them ever since are proof that the bond has always been strong. for fuck’s sake even the fan chart for most of the songs “we will protect you ikon / we will care for you ikon / we will shine on you ikon / let’s be happy ikon”. i don’t wanna sound fake deep but ikonics reflect ikon in so many different ways. ikon is loyal, they are caring,  they never gave up on what they dreamed of, even if it seemed unreal. they know what’s like to see the ones you love fall and try to get them back up again. ikon lived so many failures and were SO critical about themselves for not debuting in 2013, trying to debut again in 2015 but not doing so well in charts, not being able to be free. they just wanted to sing. to be with each other. and yet they kept meeting obstacles along their way, but even so they never gave up. and i think that’s kinda what being an ikon fan is about too.

so, as for now, no one is sure about ikon’s path in the future but i can say that even though things might get tough a few months from now, ikon will always be that group for me.

IKON BEST BOYS

[zabdielsdejesus]

okay i love your writing!!! can u do something about Chris or zabdi getting jealous bc you like lunay a little too much?? (just found out about that boy and im in love 😍)

OMGGG do not even get me started on Lunay! i’m so glad you found out abt him because he deserves to be known!  ok i’ll pick zabdi for this one because they’re both puerto ricans so that could be an extra factor for the jealousy thingy fdhs

It took you one music video to be hooked on the charm of this new Puerto rican artist. Just one. But one video soon turned into two, three…until you watched the young man’s entire discography. During car rides, the volume would instantly go up once Soltera Remix would play on the radio, showing your boyfriend the new piece of gold you have found. And he liked it. The song was a hit, no one could deny it. As a latin boyband member, he naturally asked about this new artist. Where he was from? What was his name?

Lunay

But one night, your boyfriend’s reaction to your love for a new artist switched when his brown eyes studied his Instagram activity feed.

Y/INSTA USERNAME liked 8 posts

Y/INSTA USERNAME left a comment on @lunay’s photo: daaamn papi 🔥

They were all pictures of Lunay and your boyfriend was surprised to see how attractive this young man actually was. Soon, the pictures and your comment were enough to take a toll on his confidence.

Thursday, July 18th, the date displayed on your phone screen.

It was an important day for Zabdiel as he and his bandmates would host Premios Juventud for their very first time.

Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you applied your favorite lipstick — the final touch of your daytime outfit. 

“Where are you going?” he inquired as he grabbed his jacket.

“I’m coming with you. I want to support you during the final rehearsals, baby,” you said. It was the truth but not entirely the truth. When you saw Lunay’s instagram stories as he stood inside the venue of the show, you couldn’t help but want to go with your boyfriend so you could meet him.

The place was overwhelming. Cameras placed in every corner of the spacious venue, production assistants running everywhere to make sure every little detail was impeccable. Purple strobe lights illuminated the imposing stage while your boyfriend gave you a small kiss on your cheek and left you.

He climbed on stage with the rest of the band, a mic in his hand as they started to rehearse the introduction part of the show.

You watched, a sheepish smile on your face before you heard a familiar voice behind you.

“Mi gente, Premios Juventud esta noche, hay muchas sorpresas…”

You turned around to see your favorite current artist recording an Instagram Story and your heart skipped a beat.

Oh shit. He’s so good looking. Do I come and talk to him? Should I wait until he’s finished recording his story? 

Many thoughts ran through your mind while your eyes were still glued on the attractive Puerto Rican.

And his gaze finally met yours as he pushed his phone back into his pocket.

“Hi,” you timidly said.

“Hola mami!”

Oh God, help me. You were internally fangirling like an idiot but tried really hard not to let it translate through your body language.

“Hey,” you repeated. “Um, can I get a picture? Una foto por favor?”

“Si, of course!” he spoke, his infamous smirk playing on his lips. His arm wrapped around your waist as he pulled you closer to him, ready for you to finally take a selfie with him.

“Thank you so much, I’m a big fan!” you smiled.

“You’re welcome, mi amor,” he first said as he kept his grip on you. You were surprised to hear that he could actually speak english, his Puerto rican accent very similar to that of your boyfriend’s.

“Come on, show me the picture,” he suggested as you leaned forward and showed him the selfie you both had taken.

“Ah, we look good!” he exclaimed. 

Your cheeks flushed a light pink and a giggle escaped your lips.

While the man started to ask about yourself: your name, what you were doing here and so on, in the background, the boys were introducing the next nomination category. 

But when Zabdiel’s line came, he froze. For the past five minutes he had been staring at you and Lunay. While he couldn’t hear what you were both saying, you giggling while his hand rested on your small waist surely didn’t look good from where he was standing. 

Chris nudged his side, indicating him that it was his time to speak but instead he stuttered, eyes still locked on you.

Naturally, the boys followed his gaze and soon five pairs of eyes were on you while a heavy silence set in.

It was only then that you looked around, wondering what had happened before you noticed the dark gaze burning into you.

“Okay, take five!” one of the production assistants yelled as Zabdiel handed him back the mic. His steps were heavy, almost aggressive as he walked down the stage.

Having a crush on an artist was fine. But when this artist was clearly flirting with his girlfriend while she seemed to enjoy it, then things became a little more serious to him. In addition, the two men shared the same nationality and as he made his way towards you, all he could think of was how you’ve told him before that Puerto Rican accents were your weakness.

Gently, you pulled away from Lunay, offering him a small smile. One look was enough for the young artist to understand what was going on. 

Surprise washed over your face when you saw your boyfriend greet Lunay as though nothing had happened. They introduced eachother, complimented eachother’s work until Zabdiel mentioned you.

“So I see that you met my girlfriend?” he rhetorically inquired.

“Yeah, she’s very nice. Tienes suerte, papi!” Lunay politely answered, clearly not looking to get into trouble with the older man.

Neither was Zabdiel. He wasn’t the type to go and fight a guy who clearly was innocent. Obviously, he didn’t know you were taken nor did he know you had the biggest crush on him. But Zabdiel knew. And that was enough to provoke him. 

Your boyfriend’s arm wrapped around your shoulder as he grabbed your jaw a little harshly than usual and leaned in for a passionate kiss, his tongue sliding into your mouth.

“Behave,” he whispered against your lips before he saw his competition leave.

He finally got what he wanted : making sure your celebrity crush knew you weren’t available as well as teaching you a lesson by ruining your fangirl moment.