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bratty-telepath · 2 years ago

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*I'm back with more thoughts, this time about my Lovely(GN), Sam and their responses to trauma as I've personally put it around in my head (also a reason for me to talk about how I've written Lovely).

So there's no denying that Sam and Lovely have very similar parallels and contrasts involving their respective turning and I think there is room for an interesting thought experiment in the idea of how people internalise and externalise their trauma especially those with trauma of similar happenings(because no one responds to trauma–even if similar trauma–the same way).

In Sam's case, we know how he has adressed his trauma, he has cut off all interactions with Alexis(his former sneaky link) and has chosen to pretty much exist in defiance of and within the limits of his circumstances. Basically, he views his turning as a bad thing due to the loss of his abilities' innate potential as well as the circumstances surrounding the turning (ie. Alexis turning him regardless of his denial).

Tldr; Sam has repressed and unresolved trauma from that night

Lovely on the othe hand is an interesting case because we are made to project onto Lovely how they feel about being turned as they don't present negative feelings about visibly. While this has brought us a lot of angst, I wanna introduce a concept:

Lovely isn't as upset as Sam is about their turning.

Hear me out and remember this is just my variation of things, you don't have to agree with it, but I am personally interested in the dynamic this presents. To better illustrate my point, I'll set the stage and use Sam and my Lovely, Logan Varney.

*To get you up to speed, Logan is a Navajo ex-foster kid and college dropout that pretty much was going around getting odd jobs in Dahlia before wandering into Wonderworld and meeting Vincent which leads us into the current canon of things.

Now imagine with me if you will, a scenario in which Sam approaches Logan and attempts to talk to them of his own volition, about their turning and how he presumes they must feel about it, however he comes to learn that Logan isn't as upset about it as he had initially assumed. Instead, Logan views it in the same light of a videogame's reset function–sure, they have to start over with their progress in electro magic and may never get the same results they once did in their previous try at their life but they still have a chance to go about learning magic even if it looks different for them as a vampire

Now, we cannot deny that there are two very different backgrounds to consider in this little clash of trauma responses. Sam is coming at their turning from the perspective of an assumably magic-born freelancer background with the mindset that Lovely is experiencing a major loss after working incredibly hard, whilst Logan is taking it from the perspective of a latent electro energeric who is so used to turbulent change that this is simply just another step back that they can overcome. They also have never had the length of experience they do with their magic that Sam has and as such have chosen to view it otherwise as they don't see loss but an alternative route. One also can't deny that Lovely sees a therapist whilst Sam does not (to our knowledge anyways).

This also opens for me to talk about the mental process I've basically theorised in Sam's approach to his view of trauma, in which it mirrors Stephen Strange from the MCU. When I say that, I should be specific and say that it falls under the idea of a "fall from grace". Both Sam and Stephen are at the height of their prime before tragedy strikes (coincidentally a car crash) and leaves them both unable to perform as they're accustomed to. Additionally, they mourn the incident in a way that moreso derives sadness from the percieved outlook of the loss of their former capabilities (Sam being coded as a disabled man really coming in clutch here). Meaning that the biggest gripe they have in their shared view of their circumstances is that they will both never be the same (which is valid).

Where am I going with this?

Well, welcome to my agenda of "Everyone with similar traumas to Sam is going to be a narrative parallel that will make him face an aspect of his trauma" aka "Sam gets therapy"; Logan's role in that is the facet of accepting the lingering effects of said trauma.

Here, lovely challenges the notion that Sam hasn't addressed how he views the outcome of that night. They've had support and chances to understand how the inversion has affected them which has allowed them to comprehend their feelings about their turning and their circumstances so they know what they're specifically sad about and how they've come to counteract that sadness by seeing their vampirism not as a curse but as a different way they now have to live.

Sam has not done that. Thus, this is a foreign concept because he's held in almost three decades of resentment for the way he now lives, meanwhile Lovely is vibing and processing their experience.

The most important part of it, is that Lovely's reaction now places Sam in the position to recognize that he's unwittingly projected his feelings about his turning onto them, seeking validation from them through someone who doesn't feel that. There's of course nothing wrong with that and I intend to emphasize that people do that regardless of intention to or not, but the absolute best part of this perspective I wish to explore in my current WIP is that Lovely takes it so casually that Sam now has to understand that despite their similar circumstances, Logan doesn't feel the same about their turning and its effects which now makes him consider the way he addresses his trauma*.

*As is normal for people, we challenge our own thoughts and ideas when we get new information, in some cases that means we change our mind about previous subjects and in other cases, we don't. Depends

Frankly I'm excited to finally get done with this WIP especially since this is Logan's first proper fic that I'm doing for them but it's also just interesting to explore how they feel about their turning outside of the normal view of it.

Anyways, laters ✌️

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted fandom #Bratty Telepath's train of thought #BTtoT #redacted audio sam #sam collins #redacted sam #redacted asmr sam #i write too much about lovely #redacted audio lovely #redacted lovely #redacted asmr lovely #lovely

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sm-writes-chaos · 1 year ago

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Asking all the writeblrs I love to grow a vast garden, apologies if I ask the same thing twice *

Hello! I'm attempting to grow a Tumblr garden, with input from people around here to make a series of short stories about' houseplant fairies. The hope would be to have a 'community tumblr garden' full of all the wholesomeness the internet can offer.

Here's the request/seed - do you have a prior worry' or 'stumbling block'. perhaps an event or a piece of advice others told you that didn't help much or simply an' obstacle that you overcame. To be honest, I'm unsure of how to accurately describe 'the seed' but something in the realm of 'society expectations versus what actually helped- or whatever you wish? Also also, favorite plant/houseplant/ flower to write the story about.

Here's the houseplants we have so far in case this was confusing.

The Venus Flytrap from @poetsandstuff

"I've had advice about 'getting out there' and just socialising lile im not dieing on the inside every time"

The Venus Flytrap episode one - Relationships

The Rose from @briarborealisart

"i could still be true to myself while valuing what others thought."

Episode one - Thorns

The Prayer Plant from @awleeofficial

"I worry about how I am percieved by the people in my life as well as the creative works that I choose to share, and I can be rather hard on myself when it doesn't come out perfect."

Episode one - Inspiration

Thanks for participating :)

Oh yes I saw this on my dash before it's very cool! I'll try to see if I understand correctly. Since perfectionism was already talked about I'll do another struggle of mine.

I worry a lot about interpretation. In real life I think very hard about what I say and try to make it perfect so as to not offend anyone, or so that no one can take what I'm saying the wrong way. In my writing I feel as if I have to explain why I added each little detail before I realized that a lot of things are audience interpretation. They're not going to see it the way I do but I still worry that they'll get the "wrong" interpretation.

I'm held back in what I say and do because of this, and my writing as well. They say to "be yourself" but what if myself rubs them the wrong way? So I guess it's like feeling like you want to desperately speak your mind but your on mute.

I try to remember that people will always think differently than me and to not be afraid what people will say. I'm responsible for what I say, not for what people think I said.

And for plants...it's so hard to choose! I'll have to go with the California Poppy. It represents freedom which is something I'd like to feel more of when I want to speak. (and its pretty)

This is a really cool project thanks for involving me!

#ask #writeblr #writing

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sporadicarbitergardener · 1 year ago

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October 5, 2023

One thing I will never be able to understand is judgement. People shape things that they accept into their mindframes and profect blame becasue of the vision they accept as they percieve it with prior knowledge and how the eye views things. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone is a sinner in their owns ways. Projecting the past onto one another will never help anyone. People also only come just to see what you have so they can take from you because thats how it goes in the "rap game " many artists take the rap game just to vent. Nothing wrong with letting go. Be supprised

how many false witnesses are being coached to lie on the stand day by day. Females also expect to much when in reality like someone told me we do it to ourselves. Learn how to let go as life goes on . People will use you until you have nothing else left to give because of the way life goes. Everything is earned but knowledge is easy even learning how to read people's eye's. Also thinking before speaking helps as well. Daily fighting negative thought's, being around someone who "thinks they are better than everyone " when reality they aren't so many women are falsely imprisoned because of the father of their children or even because no-one wants to fight to help bring them out. Right and wrong depends on daily ways of thinking as well. Even cold cases came up.

#selflove #awarness #liberty #honesty #fun #rapbusic #alllivesmatter #happiness #joy #positivity

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stellocchia · 4 years ago

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So, I’ve been thinking: where do the characters of the smp actually fit in the morality spectrum?

We’re all always pointing out how everyone is “morally gray” in the smp, but it’s not too hard to see that the level is different in different characters, for example: Puffy’s light griefing when she first arrived on the smp is in no way comparable to Dream blowing up a country 3 times... so how about we take an objective look through this characters actions?

First let’s establish what are the categories we’ll be talking about:

Morally gray characters: they are the intermediate between a villain and a hero. They are neither wholly bad nor good.

Anti-Hero: someone who may perform moral actions but always for selfish reasons. Basically morally gray but with bad intentions.

Anti-villain: someone whose desired ends are mostly good, but their means of getting there range from evil to undesirable. Basically they think they have good intentions, but they’re actually villains.

Sympathetic villain: an immoral character who’s backstory/character arc makes them sympathetic to the viewers. We can’t agree with their actions, but we can understand how they got there.

This is more or less the spectrum we will be moving in, as it would actually be rather hard to define anyone in the smp as a classic black and white hero or villain (with 1 exception). Also I believe we all kind of understand what the definitions for those terms are.

In this I will be only going over the characters I know the most about as there are way too many people and, I’m afraid, it’s impossible for me to cover everyone properly as I would need to watch their povs. Anyone though feel free to add on to this!

Also I won’t be going in any precise order because that would take more effort then I’m willing to put in, so here we go:

Tommyinnit: He is a bit of a trouble-maker. He has been involved in the most conflicts out of everyone in the server (although he didn’t start the big majority of them). He has griefed, stolen and caused a whopping total of 3 canon deaths (1 to Jack Manifold and 2 to Dream). He has however sacrified himself multiple times for his friends (both literally and by giving up his possessions) and he apologized and tried to make amends for his worse actions. He is mischevious but he also often proved that he can be very selfless. No doubt he earns a morally gray stamp.

Willbur: He is a difficult one because of the big split between his character pre and post election. That said, while Willbur was rather power-hungry before the election he also was very caring for those under him (sometimes slipping into being downright demeaning towards Fundy). He upheald his principle of “words over violence” and mostly wanted to build a peaceful nation. After the election however (because of his declining mental health) he did turn to violence and manipulation and ended up blowing up his own country. So I’d say he went from a morally gray character to a very sympathetic villain

Ghostbur: This one is being considered separatedly from Willbur, as it has been said multiple times that they are separate entities. Ghostbur, you would think, has never done anything bad in his life, he has however hurt some people. He refused to have an actual talk with Fundy or with anyone really when it comes to what Alivebur did, hurting them as a consequence and while they are separate entities, they’re still very much connected. His intentions in general though are good, he just wants everyone to be happy, he just doesn’t realize his incapacity to fully understand other people’s struggles can hurt them at times. He has however never intentionally caused harm to anyone and tried to help whenever he did so unintentionally. He lacks the qualities that would make him a “hero” but he’s morally good

Tubbo: While people in this fandom have a tendency to portray him as a poor innocent bean he’s not entirely squeacky clean himself. He steals regularly, he has partook in Techno’s scuffed execution attempt and organized a festival with the clear intention of killing Dream. He has however, more often then not, done what he thought was right and what he felt he needed to do in order to protect his people. Even now he’s built a safe heaven away from everyone because he wanted a safe place for anyone wh needed it. So there you go, morally gray stamp of approval.

Techno: And here I already know there will be some contentione... oh boy... anyway! Techno undoubtedly thinks he’s always doing the right thing. He thinks that destroying the governament was the only way to get rid of corruption. He thinks he’s doing something good. He has however released weapons of mass destruction (aka withers) in L’Manburg 3 time, caused the most canon deaths in the server (yep, more then Dream) and he’s been manipulative (wether intentionally or not doesn’t really matter here). In general he’s caused so much pain to so many people that it cannot go ignored. For this reasons he gets an anti-villain stamp

Phil: He’s also one of the characters deserving of a split, in his case it’s pre and post Techno’s attempted execution. Pre execution he was a mostly uninvolved member of L’Manburg, he did however help greatly with the rebuilding and tried to give a family to Fundy when he realised he needed one. He did also kill Willbur. ater the execution however he joined Techno in committing atrocities for what he percieved to be something good (”teaching how bad governament is” was his perceived goal). So I’d say he went from morally gray to joining Techno in the anti-villain gang

Quackity: He is a very complex character and I’m sure opinions about him are rather split. He joined the election to insure it’s fairness. He stayed by Shlatt’s side to try and make the governament fair until he realised that he would never be litened to and then he joined Pogtopia to take down a tyrant. He tried to protect L’Manburg in every way he could, but did get carried away with the attemted execution and the festival, even arriving to suggesting executing Ranboo. Now he wants to build capitalism and is trying to fight the Egg in his own way. He is the definition of a morally gray character

Ranboo: Another split opinion incoming here! Ranboo does mostly have good intentions (at least in his non-enderwalk state, which we won’t talk about here, because there still isn’t enough lore about it to understand it). He would like to have a united server with no conflicts. In trying to achieve this however, as he noticed himself, he actually went against every single one of the people he cares about: not sticking up for Tommy at the trial, assisting with Phil’s arrest and Techno’s execution, giving back Techno’s weapons and armour with no fight and, in general, giving him resources, helping to plan the Green Festival and so on so forth. That said all this things are “bad” from one side but “good” from the other. He has also kept company to Tommy in exile more then anyone else and he was there in the final fight against Dream. In conclusion he gets a morally gray stamp as well

Punz: Punz fights for money and his own self interest. He showed before that his alliance was with those who paid him, even though he actually seemed to care and consider Dream his friend until a certain point. He fought in a few wars but was never overly involved in the petty conflicts. He did however end up being the reason Dream was defeated (athough that was also for money). This was also before the Egg’s corruption as we won’t be considering that as part of the character since, you know, the Egg literally mind-controls people... anyway he gets to be in the anti-hero club

Sam: The warden of the prison is someone with a great work ethic (though he doesn’t seem to care much were the money are coming from once a project gets commissioned to him) and a very kind individual, always ready to offer pumpkin pie or his help to anyone who seems to need it. He’s also building a bank with the express purpouse of building an economy to take control over the server... he is morally gray as well is what I’m trying to say here

And, our final one:

Dream: This man also actually needs a split to better understand him, and that split is before and after he received the necromancy book from Shlatt. Before that he started a few conflicts (Declaring war on L’manburg and the whole railway skirmish thing) nut in general he had mostly sound objectives. Toward the start he didn’t want trouble in his server and he went to extreme leghts to ensure there wouldn’t be any (stealing Tommy’s disks, the whole declaring war etc). He did try and help Pogtopia at the start for this very same reson, because he was hoping that the two indipendent factions would cancel out each other. At one point however the objective in his actions seems to have shifted between wanting to obtain unity for the server to wanting to obtain control for himself. It’s after this shift happened that he committed his most heinous crimes (blowing up L’manburg other 2 times and all the manipulation that went on). After the shift there is not a single redeeming thing he did. He went from an almost anti-villain to a straight up villain, he is, in fact, the only one aside from the Egg that I’m willing to deine as a true villain.

#dream smp #/rp #character analysis #tommyinnit #tubbo #wilbur soot #dreamwastaken #awesamdude #punz #ranboo #philza minecraft #technoblade #quackity #and I believe that's all the ones I talked about #god this was long #long post #if anyone wants to add on with other charcaters feel free #I know I haven't added a lot of them #but I didn't feel like I knew enough about other characters to give them a fair analysis

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smartzelda · 4 years ago

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Okay, so now that that's out of the way, here are all my thoughts on the khmom

So starting out, I know some were hoping this was the big Kairi game, and I'm sad it didn't live up to my hopes in that regard, but we also have to remember that Nomura said in interview before it came out not to expect too much, and then we learned that the story mode is an average of 10 hours.

As a fandom we need to remember that KHMoM was never advertised as "the big Kairi game", so while you can be sad that the game didn't live up to your hopes and dreams, Nomura did not "basically" tell us we were gonna get a big Kairi game and then let us down. With all due respect, this game is only a "Kairi game" in the sense that she's on the front cover and the story cutscenes at the end show her side of searching for Sora. Even the advertisements and interviews about this game were mostly focused on the rhythm game aspect, so besides cutscenes, the only talk about Kairi was the change from Chirithy to her doing narration

Now let's continue on keeping in mind that this is all my opinion and analysis, and there are various opinions out there.

Let's start with Kairi, since most of this game is about her. I haven't played the game myself yet (I watched cutscenes for now), but although it's sad Kairi herself wasn't part of any teams (which honestly makes sense since she wasn't a main character focused on in any of the games as much as those chosen for teams. KH1, CoM, and KH2 really were Sora, Donald, and Goofy, Days really was our sea salt trio, wayfinder trio was obviously the main protagonists for BBS, and even though Sora was in DDD, Sora is already on a team and Riku got a bigger charactsr focus in that game, so why not include the dream eater pals. And then honestly kh3 was Donald and Goofy and Sora again), at least we get her in the end. And her getting a small playable section at the end honestly makes sense considering the cutscene portion is the part of the game about her/following her/focuses on her, and she's been getting better as a keyblade wielder.

Now, this section shows us the pink flower thing from remind, and I'm even more convinced that it isn't her heart. For one, in remind, it was used in kh2 fashion, like an object to create a pathway to the next world or in this case Kairi herself. Then, in this game, while she's sleeping and in the final world, she finds it and it breaks apart. If it was Kairi's heart, would it make sense for it to break apart inside of her and not have an affect on her or her body? And what convinces me more is that after you collect all these pieces of the flower with Kairi, she clutches her head and has a memory moment.

What is the pink flower thing, then, you wonder? Well tbh I wonder too, but I had a thought. It's not essential enough to her state of being to be her heart, but it's definitely a part of her or a representation of part of her. My thought is that it could be a semi-physical representation of her memories or a physical metaphor of her state of being at the time it shows up. For example, in remind, it could have been scattered pices of her memory, because we remember that in kh3 they learned that a person (like Roxas, Xion, etc) couldn't completely come back or wake up from wherever their hearts were until their memories were returned to them too. So if the flower is representative of her memory, it then would make sense why it needed to be gathered, why it made Sora feel Kairi, and why it can also act as an object related to Kairi that can pave a path to her. It could also be a metaphor for her state of being at the same time since just like the flower, Kairi's body is shattered. This also makes sense for KHMoM, because if it's partly a metaphor representation of Kairi's state of being, then her "state of being" in this case refers to her repressed childhood memories and the links in those chains of memories that have broken apart. And so if the flower is representative of her memories, it would make sense that when she gathered all the pieces she remembered these memories because it brought these repressed memories to light and essentially pieced them back together when she gathered the heart pieces. If not because the flower has to do with her memories, at least in this case, why else would she remember repressed memories after gathering the flower pieces?

Continuing on from here, when Kairi holds her head and begins to remember, we get this interesting turn of the camera that flips Kairi and her reflection in the water before transitioning to the memories. I don't know much about camera techniques, but it definitely symbolizes or means something.

So we get the memory of Apprentice Terranort taking young Kairi (I honestly laughed when it showed him reaching for her just because of that "gimme your phone" meme) and it transitions to showing the scene with Kairi in one of the pods. This scene tells us a few things. For one, somehow, Apprentice Terranort knows about "unreality" or what's essentially a parallel universe to the KH universe, you can somehow get there with a strong enough connection to it (like using someone who's from there like Riku did or your heart resonating in some way with someone there. For example, if Kairi's poh heart resonated with a keyblade wielder from the alternate universe instead of Riku on Destiny Islands). It also may tell us that it's possible that Apprentice Xehanort knew the stuff we learned in the kh3 ending with the Luxu reveal would come to pass. Obviously Xehanort knew by doing what he did with Kairi that he would cause Sora's disappearance, but since we know (from Dark Road I think?) that the ancient wielders went to another world and all that, we know the stuff with Kairi was his final plan, and we know Xehanort got his peaceful death, I don't think Xehanorts final plan with Kairi was a ploy for him to do more summon kingdom hearts or a petty go at removing Sora since he might win. More than likely this "final plan" has to do with preventing a possible future and setting things up accordingly. Apprentice Terranort told 4 yr old Kairi her mission as if it's success would affect the future of the universe. And on one hand it makes sense because they needed a keyblade wielder to defeat the heartless and restore the worlds and lock their keyholes, but what if it's double meaning is that making sure the worlds last past that is dependent on making sure "the keyblade wielder" would also be in the position to prevent a future crisis? Because I doubt Quadratum is gonna only be important for getting Sora and coming back. This place is gonna have some significance, and if preventing or battling the crisis also hinges on the Keyblade wielder going to the alternate universe as Xehanort's backup plan to balance the worlds or keep them safe, then the foretellers, Luxu, the box, and that whole thing are more connected to what's happening in the alternate universe as we would've thought. Anyways, to sorta summarize that, I think that Sora had to have ended up in the Alternate universe to give our main crew a chance of dealing with something big, and if Xehanort couldn't make a new world with the keyblade, he at least had to make sure Sora could be in the right place to make sure things happen as they should to save all the worlds.

Then we get Kairi faced with the man in a cloak who's revealed to be Xehanort. This part also honestly made me laugh because we knew it would be Xehanort, but also on behalf of those who insisted it was MoM (no offense to them btw because I get their thought process. It just kinda made me laugh). I liked this sequence in the khmom trailer (especially in og Japanese because what Kairi says there is better put), and I like it because it essentially serves as Kairi facing her fear and the one who changed her fate head on, channeling all those thoughts and feelings and letting them out. So, whether or not this Xehanort is real or fake, Kairi takes him head on.

Now the fight sequence has a variation of thoughts on it, and here are mine. For one, I spent this whole sequence being so excited because she was fighting so good and hard to the best of her ability. Second, this is memory Xehanort created from her heart, so I like the explanation that he too is influenced by her personal fears and doubts, mainly an insecurity and doubt in her own abilities. So the reason Xehanort is so easily able to catch her keyblade and dodge hits from her (the first time he grabbed it I honestly thought he would insult her and snap it like Xemnas did with Lea) is because no matter how much she wants to defeat him, deep down she doesn't believe she's strong enough, and so here leads into when she turns into Sora.

Now, to preface, if the literal explanation of this from Nomura is "Kairi isn't strong enough so Sora's sleeping heart sensed her danger and possessed her to do the boss fight for her", then I think this sequence is 1000% bad, unnecessary, and people have every right to be mad. However, my thoughts on this scene is that it also has to do with her memories and anxieties. Remember that memory Xehanort says that everything in this specific version of the final world was created by Kairi's heart. And so if her doubts are on her own strength, my thoughts are that it was these doubts and feelings of inferiority that had her become Sora (or a memory Sora more specifically) because she doesn't believe she can win or beat Xehanort with out him yet. In other words, she still felt dependent on him, so in that moment her heart responded by temporarily turning her into Sora to reaffirm her fears (like when she was losing against xehanort) and beat Xehanort for her. If this is true, then that gives some depth to Kairi's character in how she currently percieves herself as of khmom, and maybe how she believes others view her. And with Xehanort's comment, I think it may reaffirm that this Sora is a projection. Because if Sora came there through his bond to Kairi, then there's no reason Kairi would've disappeared or there's no reason why he wouldn't have talked or just something. So then, Xehanort's line about Sora being where his voice cannot reach them has a double meaning. The first is that this Sora that fights memory Xehanort does not speak (and also he's fighting like a controlled puppet without a will of it's own like, did you see his soulless face?), which affirms to him that Sora is in the alternate universe, and the second may be that he realized it's a version of him from Kairi's heart (just like he himself is), and he being there instead of the real Sora affirms that Sora's bonds in this world have broken and he couldn't have been there himself, meaning he must've been in the alternate universe (if not dead, which Xehanort knows he isn't because he knows his final plan with Kairi).

Side note, also during the earlier battle with Xehanort, Xehanort told Kairi she wouldn't find Sora in her heart and that the key to him is in memories long gone. And part of my reaction to that is that I felt validated and angry, because we've been saying that Kairi wouldn't find Sora through the search of her heart and dudebros and s/ks and the like said that we were thinking about our ship and being misogynistic in thinking Kairi wouldn't have that role, and then Xehanort himself, created from Kairi's heart said "You won't find anything here". My other reaction was to "memories long gone", and it honestly made me wonder if it meant that Kairi had some of Sora's memories in her heart that he lost and they're not there anymore, or that the key to Sora is memories of his he not only lost, but are literally missing and in someone no one can reach currently (like within Yozora or something)

So anyways, Xehanort gives Kairi a clue about how to find Sora through that line referring to the alternate universe (again it being brought up in the future for a different thing is why I think Apprentice Terranort gave his speech as a double meaning in the past), and she finally wakes up where the whole lab crew work it out

As for AtW and crew assuming the alternate universe is fictional, that may or may not be true. They worked it out by saying "The opposite of our reality is unreality or fiction", but we also know that could be referring to a parallel universe, meaning both universes could very much be real. As for Yozora telling Sora "this isn't the real world", I'm not gonna go far into it as others have, but if Sora is theoretically inside Yozora's heart, hence how he can visit him in his dream, then Sora is technically not in the real world, but the alternate universe is in the real world. And if the alternate universe is a fake world, it's not impossible, but it's still odd to me how Yozora would be self aware that the world he was born in wasn't real.

Forward from here, Riku enters, Kairi and Riku have their leads to Sora (tbh one of my hopes was that Kairi and Riku would have a real talk about the odd status of their friendship and how it's honestly not great, but maybe it'll happen in the future), and Fairy God Mother magics Kairi and Riku and herself into the final world (sorry this is a bit passive aggressive, but no, we knew that Riku wouldn't need to dream dive into Kairi's dreams to make it into the final world so they could get to Sora). FGM then starts talking about the final key, alerts the two teens about the hearts in the final world, and takes them to Nameless star. It was about this point I literally had a moment over how beautiful Kairi and Nameless star's respective voices sounded because they both sounded so pretty. This is also where they learn that shibuya in the other universe is named Quadratum (haha another square reference I see, square😂), and FGM says that you can get to the other universe with the power of waking and Nameless Star's strong dream and will. I honestly can't wait until we get to see Nameless star for real and hear her name. It's honestly so sweet that Riku wanted to make her dream come true (in like a "Riku is so nice and sweet" way, not in a shippy way) and was also willing to help her not just because she could lead him to Sora.

Then, FGM informs the crew that this is as far as she goes, and leaves the rest to Riku. This is another widely opinionated section of MoM's story, because here Kairi expresses her wishes to go and is ultimately rejected. I have seen people rant about how Riku is a misogynist and explain this scene as if Riku literally told Kairi "You're too weak", shoved her aside, and called her useless, but here's an analysis of the scene with some of my pov. That part wasn't nearly as bad as people exaggerated it to be. When Kairi expressed her wish to go, Riku literally stuttered, failing to actually say she can't. He didn't even really say anything before Kairi sighed and was like "I know". So to say Riku is misogynistic for that?😬 Also, this is a completely new universe, one where Yen Sid didn't even let Mickey Mouse follow, and as FGM said you have to have the power of waking to get there. Kairi is strong, as memory Xehanort said, but she's not to master level (or at Sora or Riku's level for that matter), not strong enough to deal with a whole new world, especially since her only real experience was being plunged into war just after some training (like Sora and Riku got this whole experience starting with dealing with low level heartless and getting used to it all, and they had been practicing and self teaching themselves how to fight since they were kids, to which Kairi did not), and she doesn't have the power of waking, so no matter how much Kairi wants to go with Riku, as he was trying to tell her and failing, it's not possible for her right now. It's like how Sora wanted so badly to join Riku and Mickey in the RoD on saving Aqua, but he hadn't regained his strength yet and didn't have the Power of Waking. Example one of the Kingdom Hearts fandom's double standards: Sora being denied access to also go to the RoD to save Aqua because he doesn't have the strength or PoW is fine, but Kairi being denied access to also go to the alternate universe with Riku for the same reasons is Misogyny🙄.

And also on Kairi's rejection to go with Riku to the alternate universe, I felt like this moment was a parallel to kh1 that showed that Kairi is beginning her character development. In kh1, Kairi insisted to go with Sora to save Riku, and Sora outright said she would be in his way so she couldn't go (idk what it says in the jp version), and after being told this, Kairi accepts her situation and resigns to wait on the islands for Sora to return with Riku. During this whole time she also makes no effort to train. However, in this moment in khmom, when Riku fails to stutter out "No", Kairi very visibly and audibly is frustrated when she says "I know". She's been here before, but it says something that her being left like this, waiting to the side, isn't something she wants anymore. She wants to go, and she's frustrated that she still can't. And I know this came off to people as "Nomura is just shafting Kairi again", but in my opinion if he wanted to toss her aside, he wouldn't have done this. He would've had her okay with Riku going by himself from the get-go and had Kairi just kind of go "well, back to training with Merlin again". Heck, if he really wasn't doing anything with her, he would have just left her while FGM and Riku met Nameless star in the Final World. But what he did was present us a Kairi that is strong, but knows she needs to be stronger. He gave us a Kairi that is visibly frustrated in knowing she can't help her best friend. And her response after accepting she can't go currently? She takes the initiative to train under Aqua (a real keyblade master), meaning that she really wants to take the steps to get stronger now, and she tells Riku that one day she'll stand by him and Sora (not just Sora). The girl has resolved to take her own path and take real responsibility for her training so she never has to stay behind again. It's showing Kairi's shift from "Sora and Riku are leaving me behind and I'm struggling to catch up so I try to make sure they come back to me or I do the bare minimum to still be around them" to "I take control of my own destiny, and I'm gonna close this gap myself, by my own efforts, not by waiting for them to do something". I'm fully aware Nomura could still shaft Kairi, but I truly feel like this little we got in khmom is the beginning of her development as a character. And I feel this way because while remind at times arguably came off as pandering to people who wanted K to do something, khmom, taking into account all the things Nomura could have done instead of what he did, felt more genuine, and actually made me hopeful and excited for her character and what she does in the future. Also, example two of the Kingdom Hearts fandom's double standards: Riku struggling to tell Kairi she can't go with him (and him not actually saying it) is considered misogynistic by this fandom, but Sora in kh1 bluntly telling Kairi she would be in his way and therefore couldn't go is "UwU he's protecting his love! So cute!"🙄

Anyways, going forward, I'm so excited to witness some actual development for Kairi amd seeing her interact with the wayfinder trio! Like training with Aqua? Yes!

Also, not to be passive-aggressive, but I know a number of S/Rs who would like an apology for being told that believing that Riku would be the one to save Sora was us reaching and being delusional and thinking Kairi wouldn't go is misogynistic🙂

Anyways, besides that, Soriku endgame actually?! Like Sorikus and Riku stans how you feeling about all this? Like, can you believe we were right when we said Riku would go save Sora? Can you believe in the same week we got confirmation Riku would be the one to go save Sora, we learned that there would be three sets of Soriku Nendoroids? Like we just keep on winning and honestly that makes me so happy. I honestly can't wait to see not only Kairi's training and possible future development, but also Riku's journey! This may have just been a bridge game, but I'm so excited!😊

#khmom #melody of memory #kingdom hearts melody of memory #khmom spoilers #melody of memory spoilers #kh spoilers #kingdom hearts spoilers #kingdom hearts melody of memory spoilers #long post #mentions of Misogyny

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dueling-jesters · 5 years ago

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Another headcanon I have the for the spies is that both of them are transgender men. "But Ace, why do they have to be trans? There's no substantial evidence in the comic that proves anything like this!!" Here's the thing: not every headcanon needs to have a ton of evidence in the source material, but just as my headcanon of them being gay, as a trans person, imagining characters that are important to me as trans and still being the same old spies is something that just feels nice.

This headcanon can also back the gay headcanon, as many gay trans men often try to conform to heteronormativity due to the pressure that society puts onto men that heterosexuality is a requirement for manhood (it's not). In fact, there was a point until relatively recently that transgender men were not taken seriously as men unless they were percieved to have attraction to women, meaning, they were refused testosterone and any form of gender affirming surgery. So that stuff seems to click with the concept of the spies feeling obligated to show attraction to women, despite not really having any and rather being attracted to each other.

As for maneuvering in their occupations as trans men and spies, I would think that the spies would have to be stealth, meaning that they would try their best to blend into societal norms at the time. This would be a means for survival as trans people, especially in a dangerous environment. Luckily for them, their embassies would probably provide them with testosterone and eventually top surgery, which would ultimately help them pass and be more comfortable in their own bodies, but I do think that this would mostly be a bribe that their leaders pushed to convince them to start working as spies in the first place.

Earlier in this post, I mentioned that I explicitly headcanon both Black Spy and White Spy as trans. I had to clarify this because there are some people who only headcanon White Spy as trans (And I can't help but wonder if thats because they associate being a trans man with womanhood and the societal association of the color white with femininity and fragility, and think that he would be the "woman" in the relationship.. which really sucks since it doesnt reflect how relationships between two men work in the first place and is telling in how they don't view trans men as men and see their bodies as dainty and helpless.) This stuff sometimes seems to be a fetish thing to them which is its own can of worms, but I have to address this since it really does irk me.

If one of the spies was a cis man and the other was a trans man, that would create a power imbalance that really shouldn't exist. The concept of a cis person constantly trying to kill a trans person, and in sexual contexts that some people draw them in, be dominant over them and in some cases RAPING them, is absolutely terrifying to see as someone who's been taken advantage of and sexually harassed by cis men. Not to mention that Spy vs Spy is based around both of the spies as being equal. If you create a situation in which one of the spies has power over the other in terms of society's cissexist structure and oppressive nature over trans people, it defeats the purpose of their characters.

Despite the majority of this headcanon being based on personal experience and projection as a gay trans man, there are a few things I've noticed in the comics themselves that I can relate to. For instance, in many of the original comics, the spies are drawn with two thick lines on their chests. This could and most likely was intended to just be the contour of their pectorals, but the thick lines are also very reminiscent of top surgery scars. In one of the shorts from the 90s Mad tv, Black spy takes his coat off and the article of clothing he wears underneath looks completely identical to a black chest binder. Unfortunately, I haven't come across the comic it was based on, so I can't say the same for that. The spies are also visibly shorter than other men (and some women as well) in the comics, which resonates with me, since I'm below the average height even for cis women. These details can all be read as related to some things that cis men can have, but adding them all up and viewing them from a trans perspective, the trans headcanon can at least be justified.

As stated with the gay headcanon post I made, nobody is obliged to headcanon the spies as trans men. This post was intended to be an explanation as to why I, a gay transgender man, can logically see the spies as gay transgender men and how it's not completely out of the realm of possibility. If you despise this headcanon or think that fetishizing trans men is even remotely okay, you don't have to interact with this post or my blog. In fact, please don't. My apologies if this comes off as abrasive, but it needs to be said. I've seen some trans people online veer away from the SvS fandom because some folks handle trans bodies and trans headcanons as a porn category. I really hope this fanbase can be a place for people to share headcanons, have their own, and for trans people to ultimately feel safe and respected as human beings.

#spy vs spy #spy x spy #black spy #white spy #headcanon #long post #This covers some really heavy topics so please #ask to tag

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rehabsurvivor · 6 years ago

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Today i decided to try doing a love/relationship spread for myself because i was looking for some answers.

I decided to try the easiest, 3 card relationship spread for my first try at a more "elaborate" reading.

The first card is my energy, my role in the connection, how i percieve myself and how that affects the connection.

The second card is the energy of the other person, what their role in the connection is, how i perceive them and how that affects the connection.

And lastly the third card is about the dynamics of this connection, its characteristics and potential.

After picking these 3 cards i decided to also pull clarifiers for all of them.

My energy - Strength & King of Swords

Naturally, the Strength card usually refers to your inner force, strong will and determination, however i was more drawn to the image of this card than its often used symbolic meaning.

In this deck the woman seems to be fighting the lion in her effort to tame it and that is contrary to other tarot decks. She seems to be using force in what seems a battle of wills.

The King of Swords is a symbol of authority and intellectual power, he is a stern, but loyal character. Can be perceived as cold and detached as well. The King of Swords is someone who can be manipulative and uses his intelligence to get people to do what he wants them to.

The combined energy is of someone who wants to change the other person, perhaps not change them in a negative sense, but help them be a better version of themselves. I think its important to note that you cannot solve all problems and it is not your job to change the way someone is, even if you can see the potential in them.

Everyone experiences life at their own pace and learns their own lessons. I'm getting the advice to fall back and think before taking any action.

Their energy - 7 of Cups & The Moon

What i found most interesting about these two cards is that both of them have one meaning in common and that is "illusion".

With the 7 of cups the illusion is more self created, like day dreams or unrealistic expectations. This card may also refer to having multiple options and not knowing which to choose. In this case i feel it refers more to the tendency of this person to have ideas, make plans, but can't see any of them through the end.

The Moon card deals more with the subconscious, it can represent fears and illusions from your past that you project into the present. Maybe there was trauma in this person's past that they didn't deal with at that time and now its making a reappearance. These fears and anxieties are perhaps what's holding this person back from following their plans and ideas in the future and from being okay with themselves.

There is an energy of mystery and indecisiveness with this person.

The dynamics - 4 of Cups & 3 of Swords

Both cards are very negative. The 4 of cups talks about boredom, apathy and a lack of motivation. It can indicate a time someone is given many cups, but not accepting any of them, but not rejecting them either.

If this is someone's energy, this is a person who gets easily bored in relationships and their attention can move from one thing to another. Either way, this type of relationship is doomed for failure.

The 3 of swords talks about heartbreak, emotional pain and sorrow. It signals that someone is feeling deeply hurt and disappointed by the other's hurtful words and actions.

As this is about the dynamics of the relationship, i feel like it says that when one person falls in this bored, apathetic state they start throwing these razor sharp blades onto the other person, often unexpectadely.

I'm am also getting another strong message, that someone else (a third party) is being affected, or could be affected in a negative way by this relationship.

These two cards seem like a very big and clear warning sign that says "DANGER! STAY AWAY!"

#tarot #tarotspread #tarotcommunity #tarotreading #tarot deck #tarotreadings #relationship spread #tarot reading

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bec0z-i-c4n · 3 years ago

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FIRST-HAND RESEARCH - Online Survey

To try and collect views outside my own on the topic and test my theory that the phrase ‘Because I can’ can be interpreted differently and mean different things depending on the person, circumstances and setting in which they are in. This survey was circulated using online platforms such as Facebook and Instagram with the reach of not only my self but also family and friends and utilising groups such as the South Shields community Facebook group. Because of this I got a larger response than anticipated which lead to wider range of responses. The findings for this survey ended up supporting my theory and in turn gave me a good insight into what other people thought about this topic. Though I will not list every write in answer here I will try to include the any answers used to inspire my work with in this post or at a later date as and when I need to. In the interest of privacy access to the completed survey will not be published here though may be available for inspection upon request by the participants and any governing body’s.

To inform participants of what the survey is about and how it will be used this statement was shown at the beginning:

‘This short survey is designed to find out how you interpret phrase ‘because I can’ and asks you to think about it in relation to the class divide. The response will be used as first hand research and to inspire artwork for my final project for university. All participants answers will remain anonymous unless they give permission to be identified. By submitting a filed in copy of this survey you are consenting to this information being used and presented anonymously.’

The first two questions after that were added so that I could group people by location and age. This was to see if there were any major differences in peoples opinions due to area or generation. However though the age responses are varied I tried to keep the opinions for area small to try and get a representation of if my survey made it outside of my local area/ the north east however the elsewhere option had a underwhelming response.

I then asked the respondents what social class they considered them selves to be in, if they did at all. This response allowed the individual to type their own answer which resulted in a large variation of answers. The most common answer however seemed to be working class with only a few differences in how one might say it.

The next question was ‘What do you think when you here the phrase ‘because I can’?’ This again allowed the respondent to write in an answer. This allowed for an interesting range of answers though many felt that this phrase was inherently positive or negative others thought it could go either way. Some of my favourite and most useful responses were;

idiot.

Someone using their privilege as an excuse/reason behind their action

Actually I thought of the hair dye advert, because I’m worth it! I think of it as a statement that means, nothing can hold me back.

Either someone being bratty and stuck up or someone who is being sure of them self and empowering.

Fighting the stereotypes of social class but also Implies others can't do what the person stating the phrase 'can'

It could mean lots of different things and be used in many different context

Being grateful that I can

Adopting the “who cares” attitude. Doing what you love and not caring what people think. Becoming motivated to do what you desire.

Selfishness

An act of spontaneity or rebellion

Uncomfortable

Arrogance, bad attitude.

Many people said the same thing in different ways for example that the statement was either empowering or the product of a bad attitude, though more people than I thought, initially said it depended on context. One of the best examples of this type of answer was:

‘When I hear the phrase “because I can” I’m reminded of when I was younger and was arrested for shoplifting... I remember thinking this when the police officer, and later my parents asked why I had committed this offense. However, the phrase also has positive connotations for me as it makes me think of my achievements and the things I have been able to do in life such as completing a masters degree and living abroad.’

The answers to this question alone somewhat sufficiently support the idea that the meaning of the phrase changers from not only person to person but also that the context in which it is used also plays a large role how it is interpreted.

The next question asked ‘What kind of behaviour do you associate with the phrase ‘because I can’?’ Again there was a mixed response. Around 30 people had positive responses, 35 had negative and 15 where mixed. There were a few however, that I was unsure how to categories. People linked it to anti social behaviour more often than not and in cases of them thinking it was both positive and negative usually began their answer by stating the negative first. For example ‘Negative behaviour instantly but when I think about it more I can think of positive aspects’ or ‘Arrogance is the first thing to spring to mind but it all depends on the context in which it is used.’ The answer I found to be the most incisive was;

‘I associate two types of behavior with the phrase - on one hand I think of crime and having the power to do something and get away with it, on the other I think of achievement and having the knowledge and means to achieve something you aspire too. The two can become blurred however, depending on the individual’s aspirations and desires, for example if a drug user has the means or access to a drugs they may take them “because they can” - there is nothing socially or physically preventing them from doing so.’

Question five asked ‘Do you think the sentiment behind the phrase changes from person to person?’ To which most people answer yes or something along those lines in agreement. However one person answered the question in a very thoughtful way that I found very insightful:

‘It depends on the context, one person could use the phrase in two different ways’

The next question, as seen in the image above asked the respondents if they Thought the ‘because I can’ way of thinking could only be applied positively, negatively or both. This question limited responses to those three options to make analysis easier. Using the pie chart as a visual aid you can see that a 92.9% majority of respondents thought that the phrase could be applied in both manners. This was unsurprising due to the combination of the answers to the past two questions. This was because many of the responses had already indicated that wether it was negative or positive was determined by the context in which it is used. When asked why, this was the reason that was given most in some variation or another. For example some people offered a counter statement to their original reaction to the statement where as others offered statements such as;

It can be used as a way of showing independence, but also adults often give the reasoning of “because I can” to children when they’re too tired to explain

Because I can can be positive in not setting yourself limits to your dreams achievements. It can be negative when used to hold back another person or situation

You can do something you’re not meant to but still get away with it

Depends what they are gonna do when they say jt

Because it could be said in different contexts, logical not all would be either negative or positive

Setting playing a role in how the phrase was interpreted seemed to split the respondents into those who though that it did (50.6%) and this who either didn’t (12.9%) or were unsure (36.5%). When asked why they had answered in this way many noted they believed that the way in which someone is raised by passes setting others said that peer pressure and social influences in setting can definitely change how the phrase is used. Some of the more interesting responses were;

Limited opportunity because of family, social, economic circumstances can affect a person's ability to say I can. For instance fear of losing friendship or peer groups, being in a position of sole carer or financial circumstances especially if others are dependant on you.

Social settings influence behavior and also how people percieve information

It can depend on your surroundings or mood how you interpret it

I believe how others around you use the phrase changes your own understanding of it.

As social settings can influence “normative behavior” and what is normal for that setting, this can have an effect on the thinking and the intentions that surround the phrase “because I can”. For example in school we may often hear the phrase “there’s no such thing as can’t” implying that the individual “can” do achieve well and complete tasks set to them. In this scenario “because I can” can be a powerful and positive mindset for a student and can influence their attainment as well as their identity and view of themselves. Similarly when thinking about drug use or risk taking behavior, the opportunity for those things is more likely in certain social settings or scenarios and so - the opportunity available can influence the thought process behind “because I can”.

That being said as the pie charts above indicates a larger portion of respondents (82.4%) thought that circumstance influenced how the phrase was interpreted and used. When asked why many repeated the same kind of things they had already said however there were a few answers that seemed to really understand the question for example: ‘Because circumstances heavily affect perception’

When asked if they thought that the ‘because I can’ way of thinking, when applied positively could be used to over come class barriers. Only 14.1% thought that it would not help in over comping barriers as when asked why they said that they believed it is harder to over come than simply just telling your self you can do something. A good example of this would be ‘I think it takes more than “because I can” It takes real investment to make a difference’ This was also the case for the majority of the ‘maybe’ responses that accounted for 40%, however some people were just unsure how to answers. The other 45.9% thought that it was possible due to it being a motivator and pushing people to excel.

A larger majority of 66.7% or respondents however thought that when applied negatively the ‘because I can’ way of thinking added to or enforced a class divide. When asked why those who thought this was possible offered answers such as:

Because it sets the stance of someone’s attitude

Attitude and stigma

Because different classes have different abilities to do thing

Advantages over others, privilege, when used in the context of being able to do something someone else can't

It breaks down relationships. The class stays the same

It makes you feel unworthy

Seeing wasteful behavior pushes the classes apart. A rich man buys a car because he can, a poor man needs a car to go to work to earn money but can't afford to buy one

Proven to be. Historically demonstrated

It can impact society itself

Because it can signal availability of resources not present for all

There is already negative thoughts and feelings between the classes, I feel anything added to that would just be fuel to the fire

The phrase used to justify abuse of power by someone who stereotypically fits into the middle and upper classes, if this is against someone in the working and lower classes there is going to be an automatic reaction of "oh thats because they're rich and think they can do what they want"

There were a few more example that focused more on the idea of social class. In these cases it was often working class respondents referring to an abuse of power by the higher classes or a difference in privilege between the classes. Some good examples of this are listed below.

Because say for example a upper class person thought rules didn’t apply to them / tried to do things a different way than they should be for safety etc then it can make it seem as though the rules don’t apply because they have the status they do.

People with privilege can use this type of attitude to do as they please and never attempt to make society more equal in opportunity

People from lower classes are often poorer which makes it difficult. People from working class backgrounds do not have the same access to money and materials as people from more privileged backgrounds.

Yes, because it shows that others could have more privilege to ‘things’ and ‘ life opportunities’ from where they come from

The responses I felt answered the question particularly well were one for and against the argument. The first being for:

‘I think this can enforce class divide, or at least act as a barrier to breaking the class divide. Those who are born into the upper and middle class have easier “access” if you like to the positive mindset as the have the means, support and opportunity to reinforce their beliefs when it comes to “because I can” giving them a head start in the class race. This may also influence class divide as if you grow up in a society or social bubble where crime, drug taking or living off benefits etc is the norm this may seem like the easiest route for you, and you could come to believe that I might as well like like this “because I can” or because it’s easy for me.’

And the second, some what against due to the class divide being so deeply ingrained into our society:

‘I don't. It's been in place for many years.’

I then asked the respondents to ‘list some of the things you think might come from this way of thinking either positive ore negative’ this got a rather good response of 69 out of a total 85 participates. This was to help get a good idea of the things they associated with this ‘Because I can’ way of thinking. Some of these answers are listed below.

Positive -

Freedom, enjoyment, fulfilled, peace.

Empowering people to challenge the status quo

Achieving something

Culture I suppose. Brought up to do as we are told, and the statement implies going against the grain. Beautiful phrase really. Very powerful

Be brave Be strong Be an individual

Ability to achieve your goals

If associated to gangs or groups of youths

Determination to overcome restrictions and class barriers and being creative with the materials you have access to.

Secure home, better education

Further education, business owner, entrepreneurs

You achieve your goals

Successful career, new friends. New opportunities

Opportunities, reaching goals, ambitions

Overcoming battles

People believing in themselves

Trying new challenging things in life.

Education is different for the classes. If you do not go to university you cannot get the best jobs. You cannot change classes. Working class are viewed very differently from the elite class. Positive is you are able to do what you set out to do because you feel you can. Promoting the can do allows people to believe that they can achieve.

education, career, social confidence possibly.

Negative -

Exerting power over the working class or other minorities because they can do so without consequence

Crime, overconfidense, recklessness

Stuck up brat. It’s a cheeky phrase to use , not humble.

Feeling belittled

Fighting breaking up relationships

Mixed -

Abuse, lies, manipulation, gaslighting, stealing etc but also determination, motivation and freedom of self expression

Positive - Positivity, achieving goals, living your dreams, having hope, inclusion Negative - class divide, fighting, exclusion, obnoxious behaviour

Negative - Danger ( refer to previous answer ) Big egos Positive - Empowerment Sureness of self More freedom

Positive: Education attainment Money Good job Travel Cultural capital Knowledge Negative: Addiction Crime Self fulfilling prophecy Unemployment Lack of aspiration

It can give you that confidence to go for that dream job but it also can cause arguments to go worse with someone

You can either achieve your goals or spite someone

Positive- protest, discovery, fashion, art Negative- violence, discrimination, racism.

Independent thinkers, Higher employment, more caring relationships, riots/raids, higher crime in technology

Doing things that hurt others - negative. Pushing yourself to do things outside your comfort zone - positive.

Feeling empowered to do something you wouldn’t usually have the confidence to do. Someone attacking someone because they can.

Could lose your confidence or stand up to people

Finding a new hobbie you love, Finding love, Making friends, Learning a new skill, Joining a new club or school/college/uni, Saving someone’s life, Getting a new job, Writing a book, Making someone’s day better, Making someone’s day worse, Murder, Theft, Physical and or emotional harm to another, Harassment, Drama, Suicide, Self harm, The possibilities are almost endless.

I then ended by asking them to offer one positive and one negative thing they had done because they could. These were particularly interesting answers and are listed fully anonymised below.

Positive -

Past my driving test

A good education and job

Speaking about women’s rights/ using my education/art to communicate my right to speak - however it might not be excepted by certain people. I can do all this (?) because I went to school and my parents pushed me to do homework etc which is a huge privilege and I recognise it isn’t the same for everyone.

Invited a vulnerable adult to my home for a shower and his Christmas dinner

Went to college and passed because i know i could.

Completed my degree when I had a baby, being a single mother, financially self sufficient, own a car, fought for my sons needs to be supported, overcome trauma.

Finished college

Doing my degree

I went to uni. Is it truly worth a massive debt!?

Won an award for work I did to help educate/support women in the workplace.

Zip wired across the river Tyne

Started to teach dancing

I achieved running my own business and I had to tell myself I can do this

My motivation to exercize, sometimes I really don’t want to but then I think I should because I can unlike some people who have lost their legs or have severe arthritis for example

Being my true self and speaking honestly

Degree. Before suffragette I wouldn’t have been able to do it

Promotions

Went to uni

Encouraged my children to be who they want to be no matter how big or small, rich or poor as long as they never felt superior or inferior to any other person.

Notjing

Went to University

First and National Diploma in Performing Arts

Spoke up for injustice

Pushed myself to become a better person

Making my way up to higher employment

Having personal boundries

Received a Bachelor's degree, although I'm from a working class family, I'm one of the first to do so in my family.

Moved to another country.

Still trying it out and hoping to be more confident in myself instead of putting others firsr

Paragliding of mount Tiede in Tenerife (3 times ) . Amazing.

Travelled

Spoken out against injustice, challenged those who abuse power

Trained to be a nurse when I was 40years old.

Teaching my children to live and let like you are no better than anyone else we are all equal and if you really want something go out nd get it you reap what you sow

Helped a lady at the shops to pick up something she dropped

Studying for a phd

My degree.

Working class girl made good through the saying "because I can"!

A loving family because that’s what I was born with. I have a loving family because I do. Not because I can.

Walked on fire for charity

My nursing qualifications.

Successfully completed DIY projects without too many disasters along the way!

Educating myself

I’m getting a breast reduction very soon ( I’ve went private ) and I had to save £8000 for it and I did that because I can , because it’s my body and I get to decide what to do with it . So I managed to get myself something I’ve wanted for years but I’ve also managed to save up a lot of money , because I can.

I won sports day in school

I went for a merchant navy officer job interview despite everyone telling me I couldn't do it, and I had the sort of "cause I can" mind frame and a year and a half later ive moved away started a family and travel the world as a job as a merchant navy officer

Single parent, never to recieve csa with 2 children that are respectable,polite and have amazing personalities. I am showing my children that even having them i can better myself with higher education and achieving a job to be proud of.

Get a good grade in my exams

Kindness.

Education

Run a business.

Landed my dream job

lost weight

By definition, everything I have done was in part because I was able to

Become a teach at the age of 55

Bought a car/house and raised a child

Chose not to do drugs

Gained an honours degree

2 University Degrees

Completed training for a career change

Saved and got a Mortgage

Started my business

kept going

Went to university and got a degree

I went to university. When non of my friends cared, and non of my family went on to study, i did.

Overcoming mental health, why because I can, you have to just keep trying

Believed in myself

Moving away from home

Study.

I achieved a high paying position in my workplace despite nit being as competitive as those with university degrees

Volunteer regularly

Pushed myself to study through dyslexia and went on to become a qualified accountant

A miners daughter went to university got a degree

Achieved well in school, become well read, travelled and lived abroad, got a first class in my degree, got a masters degree from a masters top university.

I worked hard because I could bought a home had a family because I could

I like to help people if I can. Purely for the philosophy of it. I’ve given financial, and other help, to people who have needed it more than I did, for no reason other than because I could. If I’m in a position to help somebody, it then becomes a duty to do so without the necessity of a reward.

Changed my job

vote

Saved a kittens life:)

Negative -

Took drugs

Drove under age

Can’t think of anything

I’ve never done anything negative because I can/could

I ate all my Christmas sweets within 2 weeks

Caused divides in friendships because of actions that i did because i could

Harder to think of something specific. But I've probably done many things becuase I wanted to when it may have caused someone else upset. Selfishly motivated.

Smoked

Spoke to someone in a hurtful way

Drink alcohol

Took time of work.

Stayed up too late

Stopped driving

Stealing (from a corporation never a local business or person)

Self sabotage

Looked at someone’s texts

I failed to take the opportunity to do something which could have improved my job satisfaction and eventually my finacial position

Graffiti

Been reckless

Upset People

Become reckless in my life

Spent a lot of money on needless things using my student loan. In my head, it wasn't my money so I spent it

Defied "authority "

Too many to say

Used cold cap during chemo. Not really a negative but I’m using this is my answer, with an explanation why. Cold cap was like a personal torture device, it hurt, it was horrendous, it made me swear like a trooper, but I did it 6 times so I would not lose all my hair. It wasn’t for vanity, it was because I could. Cancer took control of everything, I had no control. This I could control, cancer was NOT getting my hair. This was me taking back control no matter how much it hurt.

Shout too loudly

Rebelled as a teenager

Spent money on unhealthy food despite it being available

Shoplifted when I was a kid.

Thought only of myself for many years.

Cut off friends who don’t treat me with the respect I deserve because I can.

Spent time on social media instead of answering emails

Never communicated with a family member again after a row,then they died before there was the opportunity to reconcile.

Got into the habit of having a couple of glasses of wine every evening

Becoming involved with crime

Took the easy way out of things instead of putting down my foot and dealing with it.

Abused drugs

Cheated on my ex girlfriend,

Petty but i quit smoking for 8 years due to my ex hating me smoking. So the second i knew i was leaving i started smoking again and when he asked why after all these years i said because i can

Bully someone

Meanness.

Said things without speaking I guess

Been cruel to people.

Deciding against a career change

Probably eaten too much takeway when my wife was out

Avoided people

Been a bitch to someone over an ex

Not going to school

Partied all night?

Drugs

Spoken negatively towards someone

given up

Used people to my advantage, flirted with men to get free drinks in bars

I smoked behind my parents back and stole tabs from them too as i thought “if my friends and family can, I can” and thrived from their behaviour.

Laid off school/getting high

Affair.

The answers to these last three questions should be majorly beneficial to development of my project particularly the art work produced as these will become the bases for my pieces.

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astro-vibes · 7 years ago

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Your Moon & Expression of Art

☾ I’ve always connected one’s moon sign with their creative preferences because emotions in art are ever-present. I am in no way suggesting that your moon is the only aspect in your chart that you should look to in order to understand your creative drive, although I definitely think that it is important regardless. ☽

Aries Moon: Starts many projects, has trouble actually finishing them. This is because new ideas are always coming to them and they are afraid to lose that initial inspiration. Likely to use bold color palettes; wants their work to make a big statement. They are not afraid to take risks and try things that may not work out. They may use art in order to cope with their often intense emotional patterns. If you really pay attention, you can see these feelings come to life in their art.

Taurus Moon: They find comfort in knowing that their passion for art is always something that they can go back to; it is stable. Likely to stick to neutral, soft color palettes. They don’t want to overpower their works with bold patterns and shades. They prefer to portray their message with subtlety. They tend to spin situations around in their works in order to make them more beautiful/appealing to the viewer. They are able to take negative experiences in their life and make them into something tangible.

Gemini Moon: Mercurial moons tend to have a diverse portfolio. One may call it “organized chaos.” Like the Aries moon, they tend to be on the more daring side. They are usually self-taught and have little regard for traditional techniques in whatever medium they practice. They can take inspiration from anywhere and their work can be difficult to decipher without a proper explanation from the artist; this is because they can take multiple ideas and memories and apply them to their designs without even realizing it.

Cancer Moon: Applying emotions to their art is the top priority. If they are not able to channel specific feelings while they are painting, drawing, etc, then it is almost impossible for them to get fully immersed in their work; they often enjoy playing music while they are working in order to help this process along. Their projects have a strong nostalgic quality to them. They are able to draw people in to their world without explaining anything in words.

Leo Moon: The messages in their art are very specific to their own lives, but they love to share it with everyone. Even if not many people can relate to their work, they tend to admire it regardless. In general, fire moons tend to gravitate towards warm colors and Leo is no different in this case. They enjoy and seek out praise for their projects, so they may enter in competitions and participate in showcases in order to establish a name for themselves in the community.

Virgo Moon: They usually have a set place and time that they like to do their work. However, their workspace is most definitely evident of a busy artist. They tend to put pictures, posters, articles, etc. on the walls in order to get inspiration. The messages in their art tend to be quite complex because they love to make people think about what they were trying to say. Most of them actually prefer to sketch here and there rather than commit to a large project.

Libra Moon: Instead of trying to make others guess what they were trying to say with their work, the Libra moon would rather be purposely relational. In fact, they want people to connect with their pieces and understand what the intent was behind the project. If people are left puzzled about the point of their finished work, they become discouraged. They might be hesitant about their ideas, causing them to start many works and toss them soon after. They tend to gravitate towards art styles that are pleasing to the eye and symmetrical.

Scorpio Moon: They tend to focus on topics that are swept under the rug in their works. The dark side of humanity is brought out in their projects. They love to shine a light on these controversial situations, especially because they are some of the only people brave enough to tackle such things. They prefer to work alone. If they are around others, they feel pressured and they may see a huge difference in the quality of their work. They cannot channel the intensity with people breathing down their necks. The public usually has a strong reaction to their work, either good or bad.

Sagittarius Moon: They find that being under the influence actually helps them a lot when trying to channel their creative energy. They don’t rely on any substances per se, but they are not afraid to experiment in order to get in to a certain mindset. The original intent may not match up with the final outcome of a Sagittarius moon’s work; this can frustrate them at times. However, it can also be a blessing that things don’t always work they way that they wanted them to. The Jupiter energy works in their favor regardless and by some mechanism of luck, the public usually loves their work.

Capricorn Moon: Usually, they tend to stick to classic and traditional styles of art. They are the most likely to take art seriously and want to pursue a career in the field. They are not only interested in pursuing art themselves, they are also deeply involved in art history. Capricorn moon’s usually have a comfort zone when it comes to what they are willing to try. Their medium of choice is usually oil painting because of it’s elegant and smooth texture. Nature and landscapes are what they are attracted to, even if it is not what they enjoy painting/drawing.

Aquarius Moon: It is important for them to channel other’s emotions and struggles in their art, rather than their own. To them, art is more about bringing awareness to injustices than anything else. Their style can be described as unique and unpredictable. You cannot possibly pin them down. They are drawn to psychedelic styles and neon color palettes. They want to make others feel as if they have traveled to another dimension when they view the Aquarius moon’s work. They turn the unexplainable into something that can actually be percieved.

Pisces Moon: They don’t see themselves as having any creative talent; however, this could not be further from the truth. Their work often reflects their inner confusion; they love styles that involve watercolor and a lot of blending. They connect deeply to the eyes, so that tends to be the easiest for them to draw/paint. Like the Cancer moon, they rely heavily on music in their performances. Their projects may revolve around spirituality, religion, drugs, and other mysteries of the universe. Their style of art is similar to the Scorpio moon, while romanticizing the taboos of life.

-Admin L

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years ago

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I'm not entirely sure - unless I have probably reblogged and forgotten but it was presumably not the main point - that I've seen any sort of discussion specifically of the Dean is/isn't John parallel focusing on the idea that Dabb actually loves these one way then the other mirrors and they were extremely prevelant in season 12, like character swapping who they were mirroring halfway through an episode, or mirroring someone in some aspect but in a direct opposite way for another aspect.

I'm pretty sure I 110% agree with the meta that Dean is not strictly behaving like John to Jack, but Sam's having some problems over how he percieves the relationship dynamics in family stuff, and seeing Dean through the lens of how John treated him, while Dean's seeing having to look after Jack and "mother" him as basically another round of raising psychic Sammy as his mother & father, and being given ultimate life or death responsibilty on Sam's goodness.

But I also 110% agree that the parallel that Dean is at the very least hollowed out and empty - and went to Missouri right after it happened lol - because he lost the love of his life and blah blah all the John parallels for emotional damage of losing a loved one. There's not much to say here, the surface level crack posts pretty much do all the work :P

Sam pointing out that Dean is acting like John in 13x04 is in relation to how he's acting to Jack but we're free to question and work out a deeper meaning there, specifically about Sam's perception. I'm not feeling at all critical of Sam, I'm intellectually curious and sympathetic to his side too (but the show is doing a more obvious job presenting it as the more okay path right now - relative to Dean. For Dean piling on that grief is his excuse and we're meant to be invested in that and therefore sympathetically excuse him BECAUSE he's a main character), but essentially the end result of that argument is that Sam is the one acting like John, and projecting it onto Dean for the surface level treatment while his treatment of Jack falls more in line with the portrayal of John's parenting.

Also I'd agree that if you do take a surface level look at the treatment Dean's handing out, you CAN draw parallels to John... My sympathy to Sam and Dean both means I see this more as a narrative thing where this season is about fathers and they're both going to have to pass through this dark state because reckonings about fathers may be coming further down the line and John totally sucked so not only are they confronting themselves in Jack but through their treatment of him they're confronting aspects of John.

I'd love to see how it plays out and retroactively come back to this discourse because it's all too fresh and painful and we can't say right now who will or won't be vindicated, or get catharsis.

But anyway, if the mirror about John towards Jack is meant to be critiqued and it doesn't super duper apply, or I like how that reflects all the harder in Dean's case on how he IS acting like John, but not towards Jack, just in his own behaviour while mourning Cas and getting even more hardened. He literally spelled out in 12x22 how losing Mary hit John, and now he's beginning to act that way as well. And THAT aspect of it is not complicated or open to critique or showing us where there are already subversions and Sam and Dean both offer a little kindness to Jack after confronting their own behaviour, Sam in 13x03 and Dean in 13x04 - and they're not perfect yet by a long shot but the tiny gestures for now are enough to prove neither is their father exactly in this respect and both are due some sort of confrontation with his lingering memory...

But yeah, no, Dean is super duper mourning Cas just like John did, and Sam calling him out as acting like John - well it's a very uncomplicated link to make on THAT side of the story. Dabb's mirrors are never so simple as when he spells them out that's the obvious one. Sometimes it may have been a well no actually he's acting like Mary, or Bobby, or some other parental unit and that was what was being subverted and the call out was only to make us look harder at what was going on with him in broad terms of his parental influences. Or in this case it's one of the ones where it's like "well of course he's like X but it's not what the surface text would tell you, it's a completely different aspect of it."

tl;dr I keep seeing misunderstandings where people are upset about the comparisons back and forth and I think this might be somewhere at the heart of it - that the "yes of course he is" parallels are often focusing on the grief, and the "no he's not" are focusing on the parental mirrors, and unless the arguing blogs are specifically a stan and a heavily Dean critical blog crossing paths, it's much more likely that some context has been wildly missed and an out of context post which didn't explain ANYTHING has worked up some ire about this, because both are true at once, but in their own different contexts.

#in which lizzy continues to psychoanalyse her dash while wondering where people are getting their blanket statements from #13x03 #13x04 #sam analysis #dean analysis #also this is not critical of the people getting into these debates at all #I'm just trying to cross these thoughts over with each other and explain my middle ground #which I've inherited from reading all the debating on both sides :P #and maybe help people see what's going on if they have seen these yes/no statements without any explanation #or wondering why some people are celebrating Dean being like John #or feel like people trying to deny it are trying to squash the Destiel of it all #Dabb vs cars #he's a ridiculously tricksy writer #a mess of confusing parallels and secret foreshadowing and sideways references and scenes told again but upside down and backwards #things the show is good at anyway but he's been nurtured on the show for like 8 years before he became showrunner #and now he's just going completely wild while in charge #because this is what it's made him :P #my stuff

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wtfzodiacsigns · 7 years ago

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Signs Moon & Expression of Art

-Admin L

source: astro-vibes Originally posted: ofallingstar

#astrologyy #astrology #fun facts #astrology fun facts #facts #horoscope #zodiac signs #zodiac

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chendve · 5 years ago

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KR:// IDOL Q&A

rep: 1,958,352 + 100,000 BONUS

objective: below, we have complied questions devised to help you delve into your idol’s brain about an array of topics both sensitive and other wise within the south korean entertainment industry. as always, we encourage you to consider your muse’s personality and stance within the industry while they tackle the questionnaire. we hope that these can give you a better insight into your muses mind!

note: questions answered based on how i percieve him as my own character.

all idols have an image determined for them by the company. how do you feel about your persona and how true is it to your true self? keeping this image in mind, do you ever feel that you were given said image because your real personality is too bland in comparison?

i know that there’s a number of artists that are given personas that the company deems fit, and there are other’s that are really how they are on camera and real life. the way i perceive myself on camera and the way i do in real life is similar in a way. though the only difference is that i talk less interview wise than i would do in normal conversation. maybe due to that some people may feel that i’m shy, but then when they see me in a different setting i’m more hyper and talkative. i think my true self would be that i’m hyper around the people i’m close with. i hear a lot of people say that i’m caring as well as i like to make others feel comfortable around me as i would with them. i did at one point have a phobia of talking in public but as i progressed in my career i can say that it has gotten better. i wouldn’t say that my personality is too bland, in fact i act normal in front of the camera. i have said many times on camera that i am the type of person that doesn’t fear what to say they think. though, for others that do have a persona that company’s want them to portray i think that sometimes it’s a good idea especially if they want them to fit the group, but that’s also taking away from what that person could be like in actuality. in other cases the person may actually like the persona they were given as well.

do you have any habits that your fans might find unfit for an idol? if ‘yes’, what are those habits and how did they come about?

i don’t recall having habits that fans would find unfit about me? i do tend to whine a lot according to my members i am the whiniest member of the group. to be honest, if that was a problem for any of the fans i think they would have spoken upon it or any other’s that i haven’t come across. i am who i am. if it’s a habit that would affect my career negatively by all means i would love for someone to point it out to me so that i can go back and change my ways, but if its just something i’m known for then i don’t find it a problem.

what is your relationship with your family like? when was the last time you’ve contacted them?

my relationship with my family is good. i have told about how there was a time when they didn’t agree to my dreams of becoming a singer and such, but when they found out how serious i was about it they had a change of heart. my parents are my biggest supporters and i love them dearly. i did go back to my hometown when i was busking towards the end of august so, i saw them then and during chuseok. so i do tend to contact them when i can.

after becoming a celebrity, have you noticed a difference in the way your friends perceive you? do you still communicate with old friends or have you cut ties?

truthfully, i still talk to my old friends and when i’m doing things work related they do congratulate me on my achievements. i figured since i was younger people knew where i would end up because i was always singing so, i don’t think they would have thought of me any different as i was going into a field where i would be singing even if i didn’t become an idol. i don’t get to see them as much as i used too because of promotions, schedules, and busy days – in which we are all adults now. but yes, i do still communicate with them and when i get the chance i do take time out to visit them!

fueds between companies is arguably what keeps the industry booming. even if idols from opposing companies may not dislike one another, many ceos make sure to keep their artists apart. what are your thoughts on the separation of idols by company? do you think it has become an epidemic particularly with the new generation of idols?

aha, i think exo could relate to this question right? it’s actually the companies decision, mostly to keep things from conflicting. especially due to lawsuits and such. it would probably cause conflictions as well or just the company is being well… petty. my thoughts, i mean i don’t neccessarily like being forced away from people that i’ve known for a long time because even though we don’t show it, it does tend to affect us. it can be hard being that that person could have played a huge role in the artist life. i think that sometimes it’s for the best while other times its just wrong to do so. though i am sure that the artist find ways to interact with these people whom the company forced away from each other or there will be a time when schedules cross and they could see each other then. i don’t think it’s become an epidemic because regardless the idols will probably still meet up with the other from the opposing company.

some might say being an idol is restrictive in terms of personal growth. do you agree?

in some ways i can see that, especially when a company tells them how to do such things or when they can do such things. basically that company is controlling your life, and when it comes time to do things on your own then you don’t really know what to do. idols sometimes get mistaken as machines in such a way, we a polished by a company to play a part and then pushed out into the public eye to entertain. i think that it can be restrictive cause it can affect the idol greatly if the company is not doing right. sometimes having one being too in control is not a good thing and things could end up turning down hill for that said idol. we don’t always get that sense of freedom that others have so, yes in ways i do agree on this.

do you ever feel disheartened when viewing photo shopped images of yourself?

when we do photoshoots, photoshop is usually opened correct? sometimes if the picture doesn’t come out good like doesn’t look like me i do. other times, i’m okay with it when it comes out fine. when it comes to fans though they are funny and sometimes hurtful as well even if they don’t mean to come across that way. this is really a 50/50 for me.

how many languages do you speak fluently or otherwise? have you ever been annoyed by your own voice or accent when communicating in another language?

i speak korean fluently. i also speak japanese, chinese, and english. those aren’t as fluent as my native language though i feel comfortable enough to converse with my fans in japanese and korean rather than in chinese and english. typically i don’t like my accents in either of the languages i speak that’s not korean though fans have said that my english pronounciation is good and that makes me happy to know that. i feel like i could work harder on the languages that i know so that i can better communicate with my fans more comfortably than relying on a translator.

in what areas do you think the industry has room for improvement?

remembering we are human and giving us breaks, remembering that our health is more important, letting us live a life too without restricting us from basic things that most adults should know how to do. there’s a wide range that the industry can learn from but i would be here all day.

if you could go back in time, would you still pursue your idol career under your current company or would you opt for another company?

yes, actually i would still pursue a career in the idol field. i love my job and i love singing. um, i think i would stay with the same company as well. i don’t know what other company i would go for besides sm entertainment.

share an anecdote about a time you were treated differently in school or otherwise by those around you after becoming an idol or trainee.

as i said before, i used to sing a lot in class during break period. i believe there might even be a video of me singing in class too. if i remember correctly it happened to surface. so, i’m sure that they knew that the day would come when i was able to become an idol, but just when. though, during my trainee days even if it was short you weren’t allowed to tell anyone that you were signed to a company, especially since exo was such a big project that the company was working on then. though, i remember after it was announced that i would be performing on television before debut i just got a load of phonecalls! mostly people like not believing that i actually made it. ( ` laughs softly ) it was nice though.

what would you say to those who belittle idols on the web? additionally, many idols have began to take legal actions on negative comments left on the web. what do you think of their decision?

well, being in a group where that comes around often. we do take legal actions on those types of people as it is considered defamation. i think it’s a good idea that idols are starting to do that. if they were to ignore these kinds of actions i think the people who hide away behind their computer screens would continue to belittle these idols. so, with that i’ve seen a lot actually stop after the legal actions. i think it helps in a way.

idol diet regimes are infamous for their severity. diets such as the paper cup diet and cucumber diet are industry favorites. considering that many look upon idols as eye-candy and those idols who fail to fit into this criteria are reprimanded, do you think strict dieting is justifiable/ just another part of your job?

to be honest with you, it’s part of your job. you signed the contract, and if the company puts you on this diet where they say this is what you need to do to be this weight, by this set date then you have to do it. it’s how the industry works, but honestly i think that it’s extremely unhealthy to put on one such extreme dieting because it can affect your health. i think it would be better if they trained, and ate meals that were low in calories to help lose weight, rather than just eating things and starving themselves.

often times managers go above and beyond to protect their artist. some even resorting to physical cruelty to keep fans in line. have you ever witnessed your manager doing so? do you feel their demeanor is vital for your protection or do you think managers of idol groups take security measures too far?

yes, i have witnessed it with my own eyes. i don’t like when my fans get hurt, i even feel bad if i accidentally throw a signed ball at a concert and hit a fan so, having a manager push/shove or even hit someone who has come to see either me or the group doesn’t set well with me. though, we make sure that fans stay at a respectable distance. if we do see that the manager has hit them, well for me i would actually go to see if they are okay. i can’t really do as much as i would like to, but i do think that sometimes they take it too far. also, i wish that they could find a better way to let fans know hey you need to step back -- though i also understand that they do get chaotic at times too when we arrive to certain places, especially at the airport.

some fans believe that because they financially support the idol they own the idol. what would you say to these fans?

hm... well, i would thank them for their neverending support. actually in a way they are partically correct as they do financially support the group and the company when they purchase albums, or even merch. it’s how the business works if we look at in that sense. fans play a very important role in the idol world. they are our support system, they keep us strong especially when we are on stage doing our job. they are the core system that makes us want to do better. if we didn’t have fans where would we be? they give us recognition to parts of the world we wouldn’t even think would have been possible. business wise they do own us, but in a personal way, when it comes to our personal lives there is a line that shouldn’t be cross. when i’m not on stage, or if anyone for that matter the fans do not own me. i am my own person during that time. sure, i am the same off and on camera but during my times off camera i am kim jongdae, just a 28 year old male who is enjoying his down time.

is rejection something you struggle to accept? have you ever been rejected? if ‘yes’ does it make you want to give up or try harder?

rejection is saddening yes. there are times when the company would reject something that you worked hard on, or like a schedule you really wanted to be apart of would reject you. these can be hard on some idols including myself. especially if you want to get your work out there, or show what you can do in an individual aspect. when i get rejected, i really just try harder. that’s all i can do, right? as the saying goes, ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try again.’.

how often do you rely on stimulants be it caffeine, pills or energy drinks to stay awake during schedules? which of the three are your favorite?

i don’t really rely on them often, but if i do i would drink coffee. i’m not much of a energy drink person, nor do i use those pills so yeah. just coffee would do.

after a few years, companies allow for their artists to move out of the dorms they were required to stay in during training. did you decide to stay, or are you now living elsewhere?

as of now, i am still living in the dorms. ( note: from the latest that i’ve found during research it is said that exo is still in dorms )

take a look at all of your hairstyles(comeback specific) thus far. show us your least favorite and tell us why you chose it as such. and lastly, do you forgive your stylist?

oh gosh, out of all of the comebacks we had starting from 2012. let me think for a moment... ah there was so many... but i guess monster era is one as well as tempo. i try to be a forgiving person at times, but stylist-nim why do you hate me so much at times? why do you think some hairstyles you give me work when they just look terrible? haven’t i gone through enough over these years? kidding! maybe..

name one factor that inspired you to become an idol. what is the pay, the fame or the passion?

just my love for singing and performing. wanting to have my voice heard by the people regardless of whether they were a fan or just a listener. i think that is what inspired me to pursue my goal of being a singer and an idol. i think it’s more of the passion that i put into it. i love my job, and i love what i do. i don’t think it has to do with anything that requires fame. i think the fame is what gets my name out more and i am thankful for that. it’s actually a blessing i believe, but even if i didn’t have that much fame just standing on the stage in front of someone willing to listen is enough for me.

arguably the hardest part of idol life is the training period. many restrictions are put in place, some of which are even frowned upon by fans. which restriction was the most prominent and how does that restriction affect you to this day?

my training period was short, but during that time we couldn’t really go out and hang out with friends. it was training and dorm everyday. we couldn’t even have a cellphone or social media. now that years have past we don’t have as many restrictions as we did back then. i think one was having to report every time you left or just having to leave with a manager when you wanted to go to someplace simple like a convience store. those were hard, and i sometimes felt bad for the manager who had to stop what they were doing because i wanted to do something...

outside of the industry, mental health in south korea continues to be a taboo. within the industry that taboo exacerbates. with more and more idols such as brown eyed girl’s ga in, big bang’s top, and aoa’s choa to name a few admitting to suffering from a mental illness, some might think the public may gradually sway to be more open to mental illnesses. do you agree with them? why or why not?

mental health is such an important issue that shouldn’t be looked over. just like any health issue it should be held to upmost importance. if someone is not doing well mentally it can lead to severity that i wouldn’t want any group to go through. i think the awareness that it is taking now is a great thing. i think people should be more open when they have these issues so they can get the help that they need in other to be better again. i think that the company should take into consideration more of these matters and provide their idols the help they need so that can continue to thrive and do well in their work. it shouldn’t be brushed aside or swept under the rug like it’s nothing either. i hope that this can get more recognition in the future than what it is getting now.

do you feel that you fit into korea’s beauty standards? if ‘yes’ do you think this feat gives you advantage over those who aren’t? if ‘no’ do you think that being below the standard has affected the way you perceive yourself?

my fans would say otherwise, but i don’t really think i fit korea’s beauty standards, but being below shouldn’t really matter. i don’t think it has affected how i percieve myself. i am very comfortable with how i am whether or not if i actually fit into that standard.

is being an idol a career choice your parents have always been supportive of? what was their initial reaction when you announced to them you wanted to become one? have they grown to support you?

absolutely not. they were actually against it for a while when i told them that i was going to be auditioning to become an idol. they did not want that lifestyle for me at the time, but after seeing how serious i was about pursuing this career path they became more supportive. now they are very happy with what i have achieved so far, and support me as much as possible.

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sagebodisattva · 7 years ago

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Conspiracism and Nihilism

So let's ruminate and dissertate on the commonalities and differences between conspiracism and nihilism. Conspiracism is a general world view that sees history as driven primarily by interwoven webs of secret conspiracies. Within conspiracism, there are conspiracy theories, which are leaner narratives, more specific, and more limited in scope. A conspiracy theory often alleges that a secret plot involving hidden actors is behind particular historical events. And so I'm glad that we have finally come to address this particular subject, as it is a symptom of an insidious pervasive spiritual sickness that has come to infect the minds of modern men. It is a dangerous addiction to get involved in, and it's propagation represents a profound malevolent misdirection, which further ensures even deeper misdirection through the interaction and consumption of it. But before we delve deeper into that, let us first ask: how is conspiracism related to nihilism? It is related to nihilism in a dark sense, that is, with the most commonly understood interpretation of nihilism: a type of misanthropic philosophy with a negative implication. And before any of you object, I am not saying this about conspiracism because people believe that this is true, I'm saying this because, I already know people don't believe it's true, and I am here to tell you that, no, you are wrong, it is most certainly true. Conspiracism is profoundly nihilistic, because it negates many vital components of your existential being. The main one being, the basic innate unconscious trust of the context of your experience. Therein, anxiety, paranoia and delusions ineluctably follow. It's the type of negation that renders an existential explorer dysfunctional and eventually completely defunct, as they are no longer able to learn or unlearn, as paranoid suspicion negates the value of ALL existential applications, good and bad; so the truth gets grouped in with all the lies and the baby ends up getting thrown out with the bath water; resulting in a deep mire down a slippery slope dead end swallowing pit of quicksand. This is what conspiracism ultimately culminates into. It may start small, with just a few minor theories about isolated events, but if followed further and given more time, energy and focus, it will inevitably start have an accumulative effect, eventually snowballing into a full blown detrimental mindset; note that the word mental is in the word detrimental. It is indeed specifically detri-mental, as illusory appearances within sensory perception are all mental in nature...

So, this is a contagious infectious disease of the mind, a dis-ease of the mind, and for so long as a mind is not at ease, a mastery of mind can never be realized. Distrust is like a ruthless fire that spreads further and further, raging out of control, consuming anything and everything in it's path. And while this circumstance is indeed disconcerting, distrust isn't the real foundation of the problem, as distrust is only a sign of a much deeper issue. So running around trying to put out the flames of the ruthless fire is addressing the wrong area of concern, as distrust itself is only an indication of a sickness with a much deeper root cause. Distrust isn't the source of power fueling negative manifestations. It is only one of many symptoms. What gives rise to the distrust, and lures a consciousness towards conspiracism in the first place, is fear. Fear is resistance, and resistance is the friction that causes the spark that produces the flames of the fire that burn and destroy everything. Fear is the antithesis of a calm mind, and without a calm mind, true nature cannot be realized. The key to solving this existential quandary is in letting go, and allowing the mind the peace and serenity necessary to recognize it's true nature. This is done by shifting the focus of attention away from the appearances of sense perception, and instead, focusing it onto the source of the attention itself. To get caught up in the reflected details of the 5 senses is to lose clarity of their source; and losing the clarity of their source is what creates the delusional ignorance that wrongly identifies perceptibles as separated objects to be desired or feared. This is why you can't fake it till you make it. Enlightenment isn't attained, or something that happens to a character. This is why whether or not you are actually awake isn't an ambiguous discernment to make by the truly wise. It's obvious and able to be determined within minutes, usually upon the opening of your mouth. The second you point outwards towards the field of percievables with attributions, it is already known that you are deluded. And there are no, "yeah but what abouts", as many of you may feel inclined to implore.

Understanding that everything that appears in the field of perception is mental phenomena means that there isn't anything that is an exception. Paranormal phenomena isn't an exception. Divine phenomena isn't an exception. There simply are no phenomenal aspects of experience that are exceptions. And this is why conspiracy theory is so particularly treacherous, and the agents who herald the message are so particularly malignant. Nothing serves the agenda of evil more efficiently then pointing at the details of sensory information and entreating people to get caught up in it. And boy do people get caught up in it... with religion always seeming to be the first in line. Theists are the best known faction to get caught up in conspiracy, as modern society has become the embodiment of satanism for them, which just goes to show that religion has always been the original mother of all conspiracy theories, replete with fantastic mystical narratives, doomsday prophecies, and epic battles against agendas of deception and corruption serving as much of the meat of it's myths... but we also see it in other groups, usually with interests in politics, social activism, paranormal investigation, and the new age movement; fields of intrigue that have natural inclinations towards the analysis of truth and falsehood, and an assumed advocacy of moral righteousness. These types of people are the most susceptible to lure of conspiracism; many of whom are of good intentions. But you know what they say. Just ask the theist. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Ooooh! Sounds like a conspiracy!

But seriously, if you want to be taken seriously, you need to let go of the conspiracy mongering... as to even be involved with it discredits your legitimacy. But that's part of the conspiracy, isn't it? It's just what the shadow agenda wants! To discredit all conspiracy theory as a domain of kooks and nut jobs, right? Well, you've done a good job of this all by yourself, entertaining absurd far fetched notions concerning such things as lizard people, flat planets, and the evils of science and technology, whose forbidden inquiries have given rise to quantum fluctuations that change things in reality, seemingly with a exclusive penchant for altering the spelling and grammar of pop culture art and commercial products! Yeah. So the shadow agenda doesn't need to do anything; as you discredit yourself with so much of this nonsense. But I know what you are thinking, and I don't want any of you to get the wrong idea; as this seems to suggest that there are dependable conspiracies and unreliable conspiracies; and that one needs only to discern between those that are true, and those that are false... but this is another layer of deception, as there are no conspiracies that warrant your attention. I say this with the most emphasis to the new agers, whose motives often seem to waver back and forth between spirituality and conspiracism. This is a dangerous fence to straddle, as it isn't a position with an interest in the truth. If you want to concern yourself with the affairs of the world of men, then drop the spirituality and go back to politics or social activism; as true spirituality has no place for conspiracy theory, or any other kind of ideology whose purposes are aimed at making changes to the surfaces of illusions.

And by the way, in case you didn't get the latest conspiracy theory memo, things like enlightenment, detachment, eastern philosophy, DMT and the pineal gland, are now officially a part of the conspiracy theory canon, as they have been identified as components of the nefarious agenda! That's right. But it makes sense, doesn't it? Illumination... Illuminati... So this must mean that enlightenment is evil! The opportunity to gain a clarity of mind that is able to discern between the truth of awareness and the lie of illusory perceivables, is to be avoided at all costs! Instead, just focus on the face value of the percievables! Yeah, never mind the truth, it's evil. Just keep focusing on the distractions. Everyone knows this. Just ask Alex Jones: a man who never met a conspiracy theory he didn't like. He'll get you facing in the wrong direction fast enough. Ergo, getting back to the original point leveled at the new ager: It's a disservice to be speaking about enlightenment and conspiracy theory within the same teachings, as they contradict each other and are wholly incompatible. The truth is found by looking within, not by looking without. Focusing on illusion begets delusion, while focusing on awareness fosters clarity of mind. I know that evil, corruption and injustice are hard baits to pass up existentially, but you must remain vigilant in the mastery of your mind, lest you fall prey to the seduction of illusion. A nightmare is never overcome by breathing more life into it via validation through fear, resistance and macro focus on it's details. This approach only bolsters and sustains the nightmare. A nightmare is overcome through detachment, brave abandon and re-directing the focus of attention towards the source of the nightmare, which reveals these negative manifestations to be projections of the mind. This is called lucidity; a mental state of clarity that dissipates all nightmares.

So if you fancy yourself a so called truther, or as some kind of champion of ethics and honor, then you will stop enabling falsehoods. As, that's all you are doing with conspiracy theory. This is something conspiracy theorists should really consider, as most of you are perpetuating evil unintentionally, and are fostering a lie, with the false notion that you are somehow blazing a trail of truth and righteousness: unaware that the actual underlying conspiracy beneath all conspiracies is the use of conspiracy itself to cause distraction, foster wickedness and discredit authentic avenues to the truth of existence. And this is important to understand, as once this surreptitious disposition takes root in a mind, it renders the adherent virtually worthless, and moves them beyond the point of all possible reclamation. For, what good is a so called truth seeker if they can't tell the difference between a truth and a lie. What good is a so called truth seeker if they can't even tell the difference between the tools of liberation and the tools of slavery. Of what use is a person to the truth if they are forever paranoid, trustful of nothing and suspicious of every little thing, no matter how trivial? It's the type of mindset that cannot learn anything new, as any new information has to be skewed to fit the conspiracy narrative, and it also cannot unlearn, which is a crucial element of awakening, now completely inaccessible to the conspiracist due to the stupidity of his own blind obstinance. It's one thing to be skeptical, but once you start becoming so extremely distrustful that you begin to condemn even the things that can free your mind, you have moved beyond skeptical and become an impediment to the truth and an agent of disservice.

So, verily, I say unto you: pull the plug on conspiracy theory. Negate it. And this shouldn't be too hard, as, if you are a conspiracist, then you are already a nihilist... as you have negated many of the salient facets of your existential being... so, since you are already proficient in negating aspects, why not employ nihilism in a positive application and use it to detach from that which is false... thereby creating the proper conditions to facilitate intimacy with what is true.

And I know after everything I've just said, some of you are saying, Yes, of course the Meta Sage is asking me to abandon conspiracism, because he's part of the conspiracy! He's just an agent of the evil agenda. Right?

Sigh.

You're never gonna be able to move forward until you negotiate this hurdle. If you ever do, I'll be waiting. And so, until then, I leave you with this:

So many of the great warriors among us never even get a chance to train and master their minds because they are far too busy trying to fight evil and save the world.

Hang up the spandex. Don't waste your time trying to be a hero for illusion. Realize awareness, and everything else will fall into place.

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