#ALL of the main characters have entered the show with flaws and have actively hurt the people they love

[amerie-wadia]

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[demonic-ninja-cat]

Hazbin Hotel Criticism - Heaven, Hell, & 'Rehabilitation'

I'm gonna make a disclaimer that I haven't seen the show in full, but i have listened to a bunch of the songs and watched some clips and read/watched a lot of things about it.

Also, tbh, I'm against the idea of eternal torture afterlives in general, even if it is only horrible bad abhorrent people who are sent there, so that probably gives me some bias about this show.

I also have a bunch of christianity-specific religious trauma, so I'll be talking about Hazbin from that perspective. I'm gonna be very negative about christianity and it's afterlife system, so christians don't read or interact with this post!

I've seen tons of very valid criticisms on Hazbin Hotel, and I wanted to add my own to the table; especially since I haven't seen some of what I'm about to talk about, actually talked about before.

In this post I'm mainly gonna be talking about how it's main premise fails, and how there's some issues with it that I'm pretty sure aren't addressed at all in the show, and a bit on how some of the issues add fuel to the theory that Vivziepop isn't really wanting to critique christianity at all.

Onto the premise: the 'redemption' of 'Sinners' so they can get to Heaven. Even the premise itself is very pro-Christian, other than the edgy demon/hell coat of paint that turns Christians off. If it was about humans while they were still alive, instead of demons, the Christians would love it. This(and the fact that she refuses to have God in the show) is why i agree with the idea that Vivziepop isn't try to critique christianity really.

She might be trying to critique the specific flavor of christianity that believes in predestination(as some other posters have said), because in Hazbin she shows that she thinks people should be allowed to change and work to gain entrance to Heaven, but that Heaven & Hell should still exist. However, that doesn't critique all of christianity, and it shows that she likely doesn't think that christianity itself is bad and flawed and in need of real critique.

And even that aside, there are parts of the plot that don't work, especially if the intention is to show that Heaven and it's requirements to enter are flawed. Which it seemed that she was trying to do with the “nobody really knows what gets a human soul into heaven!” twist in the show.

For example, if they really wanted to show that Heaven's entry system is flawed/biased/rigged/unfair, they should have shown more 'sinner' demons in hell who were genuinely good people but were sent to hell for stupid and/or unknown reasons. Like, all the main characters who are 'sinners' are bad people(serial killers, cannibals, mafia members, abusers, etc.), so if you think that there should be an eternal punishment afterlife, these are exactly the kind of people who should be there and the system isn't as unfair as they claim.

In order to fix this, and really show that the system is flawed and unfair, they need to have actually good 'sinners'. People who were nice people in life(and maybe even are still nice), but who were sent to Hell because they broke one of Heaven's bullshit old testament-type rules(eg. killed someone in self-defense and/or accidentally, or did intoxicating substances but never hurt anyone, or was sexually active outside of marriage, or was gay/trans if you want to go that way with it).

They would also need to change the main characters' goal from "getting 'sinners' to Heaven", into something like "change the system" or "topple the angelic government" or "stop the exterminations and make hell a better place to live". They could have Charlie want to do the 'redemption hotel' thing at first, but learn that Heaven is fucked-up and unfair, and that she should be more proactive about bettering things for demonkind in hell and fighting the system made by heaven, instead of just working within the system to 'save' individual demons by sending them to Heaven.

Also, another flaw with the 'redemption to Heaven as the end goal' thing is that not all demons would want to go to heaven, even to escape the exterminations. And i'm not just talking about the ones who are fucked up assholes who want to keep the power they have in hell either. I'm talking about actual good-person demons, who would still choose not to go to the hotel or try for heaven, simply because they don't want to live with and as the species that has been trying to wipe their kind out for thousands of years.

And like, i know i'm white so i should leave most of the discussions about this to the actual POC, so i'll keep this segment short, but i agree with what i've seen in other posts about Charlie/the plot being very white savior-y. Yes Charlie is still a demon, but she's both a Hellborn(and thus not the main target of the exterminations) and is the Princess Of Hell(and is thus on the top of Hell's hierarchy/social classes). And the whole thing with wanting to 'rehabilitate' Demons so they are sent to Heaven and turned into Angels, also gives me icky "saving the backwards evil people by teaching them to be like the advanced good people and taking them away from their horrible scary homes!" style white savior narrative vibes(think “Willy Wonka with the Oompa Loompas” type shit).

I have no problem with people who were once bad people becoming better and going through redemption arcs and such, and i am very pro-therapy and rehabilitation(though i do think that abusers and r*pists and such should not just be allowed to walk around scot-free and able to hurt more victims). However, the way it's done in Hazbin Hotel and the reasoning behind it(mostly to escape being genocided by the very people they have to join if their rehabilitation is 'successful'), makes it come off more like conversion 'therapy' or forced cultural assimilation, rather than than actual rehabilitation, at least to me.

[linkspooky]

During the trios mission at the end of the animes first season, would megumi still do a domain expansion if he was with somebody?

Megumi would never have unlocked his domain expansion if he were not forced to fight alone. His greatest flaw is he essentially assigns himself the role of supporting character, and always lives for others rather than living for himself. While this may seem noble and selfless, in Megumi's case he's limiting himself and his future development.

He's not just prioritizing others above himself, he's putting himself down in order to do so. It's a good thing to cooperate with people, and help other people, but not if you neglect yourself entirely in the process. Megumi in general is "never lived up to his potential" boy.

The whole point of Origin of Obedience is that it's a deliberate parallel to Megumi's real first fight in the manga. Megumi is in a situation where it's do or die, he has to be strong enough to force Sukuna to switch back with Yuji. However, he falls incredibly short. Not only that, but Sukuna points out that Megumi never should have relied on Yuji turning into Sukuna in the first place. Sukuna sees a ten shadows user and tells Megumi he should have been strong enough to kill that special grade cursed womb no problem.

Implying if Megumi stayed and fought on his own he might have gone through a similar awakening that he did in Origin of Obedience way earlier. Megumi is good at fighting in a team, but at the same team but because he relies on Yuji almost too much that dependence he has on others stunts his growth as a sorcerer.

Mainly because, Megumi doesn't really want to be a sorcerer, nor does he act like one. Sorcerers are all insane, and Megumi is kind of too deep down inside, but sorcerers are all loud, rambunctious individualists, and Megumi for the most part not only prefers to cooperate with others, but also does almost everything he can to help a few certain people in his life to the point of neglecting himself. Megumi doesn't want to be happy, he wants Tsumiki to be happy. Megumi doesn't want to get saved himself, he wants Yuji to be saved.

It's good advice to tell Megumi to be more selfish, because the kind of selflessness he displays actively hurts himself and stunts his growth. Megumi is basically the embodiment of stunted growth. If you look at every opportunity he has so far, he's got the strongest inherited technique of the Zen'in, he's been mentored by Gojo since a young age, he's been doing this longer than anyone else and yet he's stuck at Grade Two and Yuji who became a sorcerer five minutes ago shows him up in less than a month. Because once again, Yuji is motivated to be a sorcerer, he's actively trying to be a main character and Megumi assigns himself to the role as side character.

It's not just Megumi doesn't believe in himself, it's that Megumi genuinely thinks he's incapable. When Gojo suggests the idea that a Zen'in Clan member could beat someone like Gojo who had limitless and six-eyes, his first thing is to assert that he's never going to be stronger than Gojo. He also makes the assumption that the Zen'in Clan shadows user used Mahoraga the same way he does, as a last resort suicide attack. Gojo even points this out he just uses it to suicide bomb when he thinks he's finished in a fight.

The thought that Megumi might even be able to tame Mahoraga never entered Megumi's mind, because he's got such a negative self image. Yuji is strong, Megumi is weak. Tsumiki is kind, and Megumi is unkind. Megumi bunts so Nobara can advance, but in the process Megumi is sacrificed.

Megumi compares himself to everyone around him, and always comes out lesser. Gojo points that out he's not being selfless, he's being down on himself because he can't impossibly imagine a better version of himself. He's choosing to stagnate rather than choosing self improvement and building himself up.

If he were not forced to fight alone, he'd just default to his behavior of always relying on others or always supporting others. His growth is sparked by being practically forced with a gun to his head, to think for himself for once, and fight for himself.

Megumi can only get better, if he can imagine himself as better and start to see the good in himself.

[tothepointofinsanity]

the new pmmm movie trailer has brought back my Brainrot for the show so ive been re-exploring the pmmm corner of tumblr and

oh my god???? oh my fucking god???? oh holy shit???? oh my goodness gracious your art is so pretty??????? hello???????????

the way you draw sayaka is just fhfhfhfhhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhhfhf. yk? the english language does not have the words to articulate how much i love you art and the style of your art. i am going insane. i am losing my mind. every piece you've made featuring sayaka just captures her essence so well and it makes me feral.

sayaka's not my main favorite of the show (sorry sayaka, you rock but kyoko is just too cool with her Christian Guilt) she's a very close second and it makes me so happy to see an artist who just understands her character so well. she's a foolish girl blind to her own fate, desperate to do something special and be someone worthwhile but she's ultimately just a footnote in the grand plan of the universe, she wants to be just and righteous and kind so badly but she's too wrapped up in her own despair to truly be selfless, she can be selfish and callous but that's just because she's human, a human who realized her existence is ultimately an exercise in futility and that fact burns and it hurts so she does whatever she can to make the pain go away but it never does because she's just A Normal, Flawed Girl and that hurts so goddamn much-

i have so many Thoughts about sayaka. she makes me insane on a daily basis and your art just feels like it captures all the screeching in my brain and puts it in the form of some beautiful images. they're so great. you're doing great.

Ah, thank you for the kind words [♡] I appreciate the time you had taken out to write and send this long scroll of a compliment.

I have been told by others that the way I depict Sayaka is "so real" and that it captures her essence most of the time, even though I am not sure what particular elements about her that people in the audience like unless specified. I suppose, personally, whenever I am drawing her, I have to enter her shoes of not just "the frustration of a lovesick teenage girl", "my perceived sense of justice was flawed", but also to accept that resignation is a highlight of her character. A young girl who believes she is unloved despite her desire to do everything Right. A mermaid who cannot swim - futility and uselessness contribute to why Sayaka is a realistic and compelling person to a lot of people watching the show. Whenever I draw her, my brain paints a sketch of her sadness before anything else. The despair of "no matter what I do, this is the outcome" is true to the canon of Sayaka turning into a Witch in every timeline she tries to accomplish this Goodness by being a magical girl, reflecting the reality at large the helplessness girls in general experience on a daily basis.

It is why I find people who hate Sayaka to be...strange, since their prescribed reasons for dislike are mainly how "foolish" her wish and outlook in life was, and how she became irritating to those around her as though Sayaka isn't literally a paragon of not just deteriorating mental health, but to me, people with personality disorders as well, given that there is always a "sense" that the inevitable ending involves everyone actively avoiding you and you will eventually just...fade away into non-existence; a bad memory that no one wants to speak about. It makes me sad. Sayaka is sick, and everyone can smell the rot of magic off her.

Everytime I draw her, I want to capture, perhaps, this exact feeling of resigning to this disease. I don't want to always make the drawings beautiful since her struggles are ugly and difficult and tiresome, and shouldn't be trivialised as a result. She's always trying her best to regain control of her own life, thus being so unmatched in terms of how relatable she is to a lot of people.

I am glad that someone appreciates my works, even if they aren't always consistently quality. •́ ‿ ,•̀

[lovehours]

one day we’re gonna have a serious conversation about how misinterpreted daria, the literal main character of the show that’s named after her is. she’s either girlbossified or hated but neither are for the right reasons imo

daria’s not someone who hates everyone and everything, she’s someone who cares deeply about issues. she’s disappointed in the idiocy around her and how the adults in power who can solve these issues don’t do much out of corruption (ms. li) or are idiots themselves.

behind the sarcastic front that daria puts up shows a person who’s afraid to be alone and is afraid of being hated if she put her best effort in, making her not put any effort to reach out to others at all (“and im so defensive that i actively work to make people dislike me so i won’t feel bad when they do”). it’s someone who’s actually self depreciative and hypercritical of herself. despite her criticisms of everything around her, daria is deeply insecure of her talents, her appearance, and her ability to connect with other people.

this is why boxing daria is such an important episode to not only her but the show. daria was someone who was constantly isolated and bullied for being different, and it stuck with her. back then she DID put an effort in, and all it did was get her shunned and mocked. when she puts effort in to connect with others in the show (episodes like the new kid or the old and the beautiful come to mind) she’s abandoned or not wanted, reaffirming the pushing everyone away mentality that she’s had for so long. for daria, it’s easier for her not to get hurt if she has no one around.

but a huge part of the show is confronting this idea, the front that she puts up. the idea that daria is completely antisocial is denied by the show itself (her mother saying that her antisocial mask isn’t real, but if she keeps isolating herself it will become real in iify). having her acknowledge that she does want some form of connection with people, even if it’s not necessarily her classmates. it’s learning to appreciate those around her even if they don’t completely understand her because they love her (and realizing that she wants to have her family around her despite their flaws/that she wants to be loved by someone). it’s learning that the attitude she has to cope will only hurt her in the end.

so she grows. she acknowledges her mistakes and the fact that she isn’t always right. she realizes that her worldview is actually quite small because she’s only a teenager and she still has a lot to learn. she reaches out to children who she believes may suffer the same fate she did growing up. she stands up for classmates who she may not respect, but she feels that are being exploited. she begins to expand her worldview and grows closer to quinn who once represented every problem she had with being a teenager. she starts to allow people into the bubble few could enter. she starts to show how much she truly cares about things, getting out of her comfort zone by submitting her work that she’s passionate about to newspapers. but people still like to act like she has no interest in anything at all and just doesn’t care.

daria is a teenage girl. an incredibly flawed teenage girl, but a teenage girl nonetheless. one who we see grow massively over the course of five seasons and it’s annoying to see people treat her growth as if it didn’t exist. if you sit here and try and tell me daria is the same person from esteemsters to is it college yet you need to rewatch LOL. and it’s just so tiring to see her mischaracterized so often despite her arc being so clear

[fandomgalore-blog]

I’ve been rewatching Gilmore Girls and I desperately want to make a list comparing Rory’s main three boyfriends based on certain traits:

Dean:

Relationship with Rory: it started off super sweet and I liked him a lot. The second Jess entered the picture, he became pretty hostile. By s4, he downgraded as a character and became one of the worst influences on Rory, not like she was some saint either but still.

Relationship with Lorelai: this is where he shined. He had the best relationship with her out of all three boyfriends and actively tried to pursue a good bond with her all the times he dated Rory. That’s the only thing I truly respected about him.

Relationships with the Rory’s grandparents: not much of a relationship there, but he did try and I once again must give him brownie points for tolerating Richard’s hounding when he genuinely didn’t deserve it at that time. Maybe Richard sensed the shit he’d cause in s4 somehow?

Personality: started off really cool and lovable in the first two seasons, but progressively became short-tempered, mean, selfish, jealous, and very toxic

Jess:

Relationship with Rory: their actual romantic relationship was very toxic due to his poor communication skills and immaturity; however, their friendship is so pure and I genuinely believe they should’ve gotten together as adults. He was the only person who got Rory back to Yale, which tells you everything. It’s a right person, wrong time situation.

Relationship with Lorelai: HORRIBLE. He didn’t even try to have a good relationship with her. I’m sure adult Jess would try, but teen Jess put the worst taste in her mouth and failed to understand bonding with the family is also important if you pursue someone romantically

Relationship with her grandparents: HORRIBLE SQUARED. I’m genuinely shocked Emily kept it together during that dinner. I’m glad Richard wasn’t there since he would’ve LOST it. Props to her cuz I personally would’ve ripped his head off. He really didn’t try with them and I doubt they’d give him another chance

Personality: witty, trouble making, bad boy, bookworm who doesn’t know his potential. I’m glad he eventually got it together cuz he’s so talented and intelligent. He was a very good fit for Rory’s wit and intellect

Logan:

Relationship with Rory: it was bound to be toxic since he himself is a toxic person from the beginning. He manipulated and gaslit Rory a lot and had a hard time committing to her. He didn’t really help her grow that much as a person; however, I did like when he called her out for being just like every nepotism kid cuz someone needed to say it. I hate them in the revival since they showed me they’re not good for each other and haven’t grown since 2007. Glad they didn’t end up together since they bring the worse out of one another

Relationship with Lorelai: mediocre at best. He was kind and respectful to her since he does understand family bonding is important just like every rich person does. However his multiple horrible actions that affected Rory couldn’t be ignored by Lorelai. They were never gonna have a fully good relationship due to his immature actions and entitlement, and it doesn’t help that Lorelai already hates his world or that he acts like the people she despises in that world

Relationship with her grandparents: very good. Unlike the others, Logan already had a head start since he knew them for years and meets the Gilmore’s status quo when it comes to intellect, schooling, and family status. They still got along with all of the troubles he got in with Rory.

Personality: witty, spontaneous, selfish, manipulative, sardonic, snobby, and incredibly out of touch with reality. Rory is already entitled and selfish and doesn’t need a person who’s equally as bad as her around her.

Moral of the story, all of them definitely have their flaws and benefits. Some parts of their personality helped and hurt Rory’s growth. I personally think older Jess is the healthiest option for her, and I hope they reconcile so he could set her on the right tracks like he did in s6.

[oh-my-moomin]

NGE: You Deserve Love

This is an analysis based solely on the og NGE anime series and not the movie or rebirth series so I won’t be mentioning those.

NGE is a psychological horror/apocalypse story dressed up as a mecha. This farce is only totally dropped in the last 2, even 3 episodes. This can make the ending jarring and seem in cohesive, but ultimately my understanding is that none of the ‘plot’ really matters. Seele doesn’t matter, where the angels come from doesn’t really matter, and the final battle doesn’t matter. This is a story exploring loss, the need for connection, loneliness, and humanity. We see this through not only the interactions of the human characters but also through the angels.

THE HUMANS

The Children

A defining trait of all the characters is that they are lonely. The isolation from human connection is brought on both by the high stress apocalypse they all live in, as well as the personal demons they face. The characters all attempt to create bonds with other people, but are held back by their insecurities, fear of vulnerability, and past traumas.

Let’s start with Shinji, as the main character. Having lost his mother at a young age, and being abandoned by this father, he was never able to feel secure. Therefore he takes on a people pleaser attitude, constantly apologizing. His want for validation (particularly from adults in his life) causes him to continue to take action that he doesn't want to, including piloting the EVA. His self hate and insecurity makes it hard for him to make and trust his own choices. So he relies on others to guide him. When this fails, when he doesn't get the love and validation he craves he tries to quite entirely. But this often leads to the people he cares about being hurt. He's trapped between a rock and hard place.

Asuka was also abandoned, however rather than craving support like Shinji, she chooses to live for herself. She craves independence. She needs to know that she is no longer a child that can be hurt and vulnerable. This is largely shown through both her overt sexuality, and her piloting the EVA. She must be in control of the EVA, she must have power, she must be able to prove herself as the best, the strongest. Because inside she still feels like that hurt desperate child, and that is what she hates most about herself. Unlike Shinji, Asuka is brash and rude, and she expects others to give her the same. She barks and expects you to bark back, but can’t always handle it. 

Both of these characters are constantly looking for connection, with both their peers and adults. While Asuka often pushes herself on to people, out of a need to be seen. Shinji cannot take active moves to make meaningful connections, and will shy away from people trying to connect. Asuka hates herself and needs to prove that others love her. Shinji hates himself and cannot imagine that people love him. 

The Adults

One of the running themes in the show is motherhood. Typically it is the mother that is expected to love and care for the child, to raise them, show unconditional love, give unwavering support. None of the characters have had this, Shinji and Asuka search for validation that they lost in adults in different ways. Unfortunately for them, none of the adults present are suitable to be parents. 

The show makes a point to show that the adult characters are all more complex than the children. They have lived longer and therefore had more time to make mistakes, to get stuck in toxic ideals, to ‘be problematic’. They are not concretely good or bad people (mostly), but rather the result of people who grew up in a post apocalyptic world, trying desperately to stop the salvage it, while also trying to make their own connections. Like the child characters, their past traumas make it harder for them to be more open, vulnerable, and weak, to form that human connection. 

I am going to focus on Misato and Ritsuko, since they act as foils when it comes to human connection.

Misato being left as a lone survivor to a terrible accident has left her scared both physically and mentally. Before this she had issues with her parents, as her father seemed to abandon his family in favour of work, leaving her mother devastated. Misato doesn't want to become like her mother, abandoned by a loved one, and she also doesn't want to be her father, a slave to work. To counter this she looks for easy connections, but she never wants to get too close.

When her relationship with Kaji was beginning to feel too real, she began to find flaws. His resemblance to her father was terrifying, so she broke it off. Similarly, when in scenes with Shinji, talking about his insecurities or his want to give up, she is hidden by shadow. She cannot be seen as weak, she cannot offer comfort, she cannot be a mother figure to Shinji. Other ways her searching for easy connection is her drinking beer, or eating take out. She searches for the most basic ways to fulfill her needs, so that she can focus on her main goal of defeating the angels. 

Ritsuko is also desperate to find human connection without vulnerability. By fully closing off the whole world she can have no weakness, something which she resents in Misato. She views herself as above the need for connection in that way, and would rather follow in her mothers foot footsteps as a scientist and a woman. 

She loved and admired her mother, and hated her. She wants to follow in her footsteps but also would hate to fail in the same ways. She saw how her mother failed to actually mother her, and chose to completely reject that part of herself. Instead she cares for cats, and uses those as a surrogate to having a child. She continues her mothers work as a scientist, constantly striving to improve. And when it comes to the ‘woman’ that her mother was, she knew a stubborn woman who focused solely on one man. So Ritsuko also focused on him, to the point of giving up her cat to her grandmother. Both women tried to create an easy connection with him, both felt that they were his equal, and that they found the one connection that mattered. When it was proven to them that they were a second (third) woman this caused them both to break down. For Ritsuko this meant that even though she closed off the whole world, except for one man, she was still too vulnerable. And her only response was to completely shut down. Because she had no one else.

All of the characters are constantly searching for this connection, trying to show affection without getting hurt. Trying to make sense of the end of the world while also making sense of interpersonal relationships. Their own inner demons getting in the way of honest connection. 

Rei

As a clone Rei is a particular case. She is aware that she is not a ‘person’, she isnt meant for human connection. Her isolation is so ingrained into her, planned before she is even ‘born’ so she feels no need to care for anyone except Ikari. She latches onto him, would do anything for him, and has no value in her life because she is aware that she is not real. 

However, she still has a human source, Shinjis mother. A human person, who also needed human connection. Rei, when given the chance, does care for people. Shinji is the first person to see her as a peer, and to treat her with kindness. With this start of forming connections, she begins to feel more human, to develop a further need to connect. Even if it's hard to fully separate from the man who created her.

THE ANGELS

The angels act as a foil to the human need for connection. While all of the human characters are lonely and searching for connection with each other, the angels are also lonely and trying to learn what that even means. 

There is no scene where the angels are working together, they are solitary, all having the same goal of reaching Adam, but incapable of planning together to achieve it. They instead try to create connection to humans, trying to bond and understand them, without knowing that their methods are harmful. 

I believe this can be first seen with the 12th angel. When Shinji is absorbed into the EVA, it is safe to say that the angel was able to understand the merging of human and EVA. This connection allowed Shinji to control the EVA to break free of the angel's shadow. The following month where Shinji is trapped within his EVA, is our first insight into what the human instrumentality project will be like, as well as the goals of the angels. 

Since angels cannot connect to each other, the 15th angel attempts to create connection by forcing itself into Asukas mind. It wants to understand her, her emotions, her thoughts, her connections, her love. For her this is a painful experience, akin to rape. She feels dirtied after it. But the attack is a beam of light, with holy music playing, what should be a calming experience. I believe it is fair to say that the angel cannot understand that it is putting her through pain, as it cannot understand any human experiences. Angels are incapable of understanding their own feelings/experiences/wants, and try to use humans as a study from which they can learn. 

The following angel confronts Rei about her loneliness. Instead of breaking into her mind through light, it directly entered her body. While talking with her, it questioned what loneliness was, trying to understand its own pain and isolation through understanding hers. Its solution is to merge with Rei, as it believes this would solve both problems. 

However, when she refuses, the angel then tries to find another source of connection. Rei cares about Shinji, as both a clone of his mother, and a friend as her own person. The angel can see that this connection is something that she finds precious and tries to take it for itself, as it cannot understand why Shinji wouldn’t feel the same. It cannot understand how complex human connections are, that it cannot simply take Reis form. However, it has learned what pain is, and how to communicate its own pain. As seen when Shinji attacks it. Whether this pain is physical or emotional doesn't matter, because it is the first pain that the angel could express.

The angels discovering what loneliness is acts as a way for the human pilots to begin to explore their own isolation in more depth. For better or worse.

THE FINAL MESSENGER

Our introduction to the final angel is him singing. He takes a human form, can fully communicate to other humans, and doesn’t immediately attack them. This is such a contrast to all other angels that it isn't immediately clear that he even is an angel. Kaworu's first words are (as per the netflix english subtitles)

“Arent songs great? Songs enrich the heart. They're the crowning achievement of Lilin culture” 

He loves humans, human culture, human lives, and the human world. He is the first angel who is able to show this. His ability to understand humans allows him to form human connections, and he does so with Shinji. 

Kaworu loved Shinji. He would seek out Shinji, take time to bond and communicate with him, and help Shinji open up. He wanted to be close with Shinji, and knew how to be gentle in ways that no other human or angel could. He was patient, because he had time. And Shinji was able to open up to him more than with any other character. Shinji  was able to take the initiative to ask to stay with him, to try and form that connection.

All the human characters are struggling with their own demons, with an apocalyptic world. The whole earth is at war and Shinji is in the front lines, surrounded by adults who may want to help him but ultimately can't. Saving everyone is a higher priority to saving one kid, especially when that kid is your strongest soldier. Throughout the series Shinji is given conditional love. It is only when he pilots the EVA, defeats the angels and saves the day that people give him validation. Then comes this boy, who is gentle and kind, who listens. And it's easy, its comfort, its understanding and unconditional love, and its exactly what Shinji has needed for the whole series. 

But as a messenger he could never stay, he's temporary and by the end of the episode he understands this. He still is driven to ‘Adam’, he has a mission, but instead he is confronted with Lilith. Kaworu understands that humans and angels cannot live together in harmony, only one can survive. Both Adam and Litlith were made in god's image, but only Adam could stay in the garden of Eden. Death and Life hold equal value to Kaworu, so he doesn't mind the sacrifice, he would rather die to protect humans, to protect Shinji. He can  also understand that this is difficult, this is murder, this is killing a friend. So he says “thank you” and he waits.

In other episodes when in a battle, Shinji is constantly being yelled at, told what to do, under constant pressure. But here there is just the same patient understanding that Kaworu has always shown him. No rush for him to take action, just time to process and grieve. Because Kaworu knows Shinji will make the hard choice and he waits, and he smiles, and he continues to love Shinji. 

The final angel came down as a messenger and said

“You are important. 

I want to talk to you, to know you. 

You are in pain, you are fragile and should be protected. 

You are worthy of my affection. 

I like you. I love you. I was born just so that I could meet you. 

Our kind cannot survive together, one of us must die. And you deserve to live. 

I will take this burden of death because you deserve a future. 

I am glad I could meet you, thank you. 

I know this is hard, and I know you need time. I will wait.

Thank you.”

That was the last message to humanity.

And because Shinji is human he says back

“We are the same. I love you too. If only one of us could have lived it should have been you. You are better than me. You should have survived.”

[aspoonofsugar]

RWBY Chain Of Faves

Who are your top 10 favorite RWBY characters and why?

Hello anon!

Thank you very much for this ask! I love talking about faves!

1) The murder kids aka Emerald and Mercury

I have talked about them here and here and I’ve shared some minor thoughts here and here.

I think their story has yet to enter its climax, so the metas on them are not as finalized as those on other characters. Still, the set-up is all there and I love it. As I say in the metas linked, they are a unit (body and soul, weapon and semblance). They are also two of the characters who mostly explore the cycle of abuse (together with Cinder, who is both victim and perpetrator).

I like how they are given the chance to screw up very very badly (and are given consequences for their actions), but are also always framed as two kids who try to be toughter than they are.

What is more, I love their relationship and their dynamic with Cinder. I think both bonds are very complex and are shown rather than told. This is why Emerald and Mercury’s body language is very effective imo. Their closeness is mostly conveyed through them glancing at each other or how they move around each other. This makes sense because they are in a place where they can’t speak freely.

In particular, I like that their relationship is deep, but not idealized. They care about each other, but are too scared to save each other. This is why Emerald needs the help of an adult (Hazel) to leave her abusive environment. This is also why she is recovering in a healthier environment that also lets her understand the consequences of her actions better. At the same time, Mercury who is instead stuck with another abusive mentor can’t currently escape.

When it comes to each one of them individually...

Emerald’s design and semblance are among my personal favourites. Her semblance especially is at the very top of my list. It has so much potential thematically and flexibility in terms of use (invisibility, transformation, specific illusions fitting a character’s flaw). I hope they use it more and in diverse ways in the future to show Emerald’s growth. For example, how cool would it be if she used it to help another character overcome a panic attack? Or if she helped Ruby enter the mental state to use her eyes with it?

I also really like she has a specific fighting style that fits her thief motif and is very different from others. It is less scenographic, but  very pragmatic and I love it.

I also liked the focus she received this season and I think it needs to be finalized. I am curious on how it will happen.

Mercury’s background is the one which breaks my heart the most. The little we know is horrible :( I also think it is a story that heavily relies on symbolism to convey the idea of abuse...

Marcus took Mercury’s legs, so he can’t psychologically escape the cycle of abuse... Marcus told Mercury he needs no crutches and Mercury is refusing to aknowledge his hurt and to heal... Marcus’s violence messed up Mercury so much he is not sure what he wants and his semblance is missing to underline it.

I wonder if we will discover more about his background or if what we have so far is all. I can see it go both ways to be honest. Also, Tyrian’s interactions with Mercury are interesting and meaningful, but also terrifying. I both want more and I am scared of having more :’’)

I am also looking forward to see how his allusion will be used. As for now, he has the potential to have at least three different motifs going on. The one of Mercury the God, the one of Mercury the metal and the one of Mercury the planet. Curious to see what is done with them!

Finally, I’m the One is one of my favourite songs because it is full of foreshadowing and perfectly conveys what their characters are about. I would love to properly analyze it one day, even if I have used it in multiple metas already :), so I am not sure I have new things to say.

The same can be said about their fight against Coco and Yatsuhashi and their fight with Cinder against Amber. In a sense, those two fights are complementary, since the first one foreshadows their major assets that are properly shown and charged symbolically in the second.

In short, their fight with Coco and Yatsuhashi is how they want to appear:

I'm the one that your mama said 'Don't mess with them or you'll end up dead That type they don't follow any rules'

Their fight against Amber is who they are deep down:

I'm the one That was born in a nightmare a murderer's son

I'm the one Who rose out of filth and was loved by no-one

3) Penny

She is the protagonist of the Atlas Volumes and has my favourite arc so far.

Her arc is contradictive, sad and powerful. In a sense, her whole character is written to hurt :’’’) She is given a happy and enthusiastic personality to hide how tragic her story is.

Penny is an example of how to write a specific kind of tragedy, where the main conflict does not lie in the character’s flaw, but in the environment she is in. Penny wants to be a “real” girl, but others won’t let her. This conflict escalates until she tragically manages to affirm her personhood in death.

At the same time, she is given self-issues that can be seen as a flaw and tie to her environment. She is self-sacrificial and struggles to see herself as a true person. Still, this flaw does not really drive her plotline (others’ control of her does) and, as @hamliet​ has stated, it does not eat everything around Penny.

So, she dies tragically because she never gets the chance, not even to overcome these self-issues, but to properly face them. At the same time, her death is powerful and cathartic because she negates others’ control and manipulation. She negates the mechanisms that had her develop self-issues to begin with.

Is it a happy outcome? Not at all. It is sad and contradictive. It is gray, but this is precisely why it is powerful. It manages to convey and explore complex and contradictive ideas. It does not offer an answer, but only bittersweet questions.

I also really like how Penny’s allusion is used in the story. It is played straight in terms of plot since Penny becomes human as the story goes on. However, it is problematized in terms of themes. It conveys that humanity is about making choices and experiencing both happiness and pain. Finally, Penny’s final scene is an inversion of the original novel.

Penny is not the Blue Fairy’s creation, but the Blue Fairy’s creator:

She goes from Creation (passive, a child) to Creator (active, an adult).

Incidentally, Penny too has one of my favourite songs. Friend is beautiful and it perfectly describes her arc. It conveys how much she loves humanity despite how complex and painful it is. The music starting slow and melancholic to gain more power as it goes on describes Penny’s life beautifully. It is a story that ends too soon (the music interrupts at its most vibrant), but it is still a melody full of love for life:

An answered prayer A chance to Share the world To be a girl Who fin'lly felt alive

4) Cinder

Cinder is probably the most complex and best written character so far.

She manages to make me feel for her and to make me incredibly angry with her at the same time :’’’)

I have written several metas on her, so you can read my thoughts on her background, the focus she received this volume, how I think her arc will end and some minor symbolism.

Cinder is built on an equilibrium between victim and perpetrator. She is both and the narrative strikes perfectly with its framing of her. It is both sympathetic and strict and most of all tragic because no matter if Cinder wins or loses... she keeps spiralling either way and she can’t understand she is fighting a worthless fight.

She is also full of interesting motifs and symbolism. One I would like to explore more in the future (and for it to be explored more by the story itself) is her fall motif.

She chooses the surname “Fall” herself when it is decided her first target is the Fall Maiden. This makes for a nice juxtaposition between her and Winter.

Cinder is born with nothing. Her own name refers a substance almost completely burnt, something with almost no color. It is a very humble name, so she chooses a surname which is important. It is a surname that hints to her role as a vessel of the Maidens.

She is not chosen to be a Maiden... she is not supposed to be one. However, she decides she is going to take the power even if it is not hers. She is taking destiny in her own hands.

Winter is born with apparently everything. However, this is also why everything gets decided for her. She is given the name Winter before she was born. Similarly, Ironwood chooses her as the Maiden even before she discovers about them.

Cinder sees Winter as having everything Cinder deserves. However, she misses how Winter is facing very similar struggles. She might be given what Cinder is negated, but she too has to make that destiny hers. She has to take her story in her own hands, just like Cinder.

At the same time, Cinder’s fall motif is linked also to the idea of falling. She falls and makes others fall. Exactly like she burns and is burnt. The orange of her flames aesthetically calls back to the orange of the falling leaves.

This idea is also conveyed through Cinder constantly mistreating and even killing characters representative of sides of herself.

She abuses Emerald and Mercury aka her child selves.

She kills Watts aka her negative foil.

She kills Pyrrha and Penny aka her Maidens’ foils.

It is clear that all this hurting and killing parts of herself won’t end well for her. I mean, she, not Salem, is the one responsible of the two major deaths in the series (Penny and Pyrrha), so she is bound to receive consequences.

Another thing I love about her is how her intelligence is people focused. She is very good at reading and manipulating others and this is how she wins her major fights. This is both her flaw and her major asset. I like it because I think RWBY is good in showing different kinds of intelligence and Cinder’s one is very coherent with her personality.

Finally, I love how her Cinderella allusion is used. It is a deconstruction of the original fairy tale that is born from a question: ��What if Cinderella were not the kind victim of the story, but a bad victim?”. It is also interesting how the key character in Cinder’s allusion is not the Prince or the Stepmother, but the Fairty Godmother who fails her twice (Rhodes and now Salem).

As a side note, I can’t wait for The Truth to be out in its complete version.

5) Oscar

Aka the one who deserves nothing of what he gets :’’’)

I love him because he is an example of how to write a character who is a cinnamon roll, but that also is not boring and has complexity.

His struggle is about his sense of self. He starts the story by wishing to become more than what he is, but he does not like that this “more” turns out to be about fusing with another person. He wants to grow not to lose himself to another entity.

This is his major fear:

Who will you see? There in the darkness When no one is watching Who will you be? When you're afraid And everything changes Will you see a stranger? Feel proud or betrayed?

This is well conveyed also by his relationship with the rest of the group. He starts as the odd man out and others mostly rely on Ozpin rather than him. He sometimes even seems to disappear behind Ozpin. However, as time goes on, he forges genuine bonds and he becomes dependable on his own. He becomes even more so than Ozpin because he has something Oz lost out of cynism. The ability to trust.

In the Atlas volume he is the character that embodies the thematic statement about trust:

Oscar: You want him to trust us? Then trust me.

The point is that to be trusted you should trust first, even if there is no guarantee it will work.

It is interesting because the theme of trust is explored starting with Ozpin, Oscar’s foil, who does not trust others, so our protagonists feel betrayed. However, in Atlas they find themselves in Ozpin’s shoes and must choose if to trust Ironwood or not.

Here, we explore a form of conditional trust. This idea is presented by Ruby, who wants to be sure it is safe to trust Ironwood. So she keeps secrets and studies him until she decides she can trust him... only to discover that was not the case immediately after. This happens because trust can never be completely safe. Actually, in its most negative declination, this kind of trust becomes the control symbolized by Ironwood.

No matter what, trust is always a leap of faith. This is why trust is a risk. Oscar shows this concept well. He decides to still trust Ironwood at the end of volume 7, but it does not work. Still, he does not stop and decides to trust Emerald and Hazel. This time his trust and faith are repaid. He is fred and gains a new ally:

I love Emerald and Oscar’s interactions btw :’’’) It is good that Oscar is the one who is growing closer to her. They escape Salem together and Oscar has not been hurt by Emerald the same way the others are.

Anyway, even if trust is worth it, the exploration of this theme in Atlas actually ends on a negative note. It ends with Cinder who is an enemy of trust because she uses others’ trust and feelings against them.

Anyway, Oscar is a key character and I can’t wait for his story to develop more!

6) Ironwood

He breaks my heart.

He is a an excellent tragic Hero.

He thinks he is the Great Good, but this is precisely why he spirals out of control and falls with his own Kingdom, hated by his allies and forgotten by his enemies.

His downfall stems from his inability to trust, his refusal of emotions, his single-mindness and mostly his convinction he is better than others. This idea is structural of Atlas society and is seen in many of his inhabitants. No matter the social class, we see multiple people thinking they deserve better and that they are above others. This is why Atlas falls and his people becomes refugees in the poorest Kingdom of Remnant.

Anyway, Ironwood thinks he is better than others, so he should be the one deciding for others as well. This idea is flawed and perfectly conveyed through his ideology of sacrificing everything. He feels he has everything, so he can sacrifice what he wants. Still, this is not the case. Others’ lives and feelings are not his. He doesn’t own them.

7) Weiss

I love Weiss. She has one of my favourite designs and one of my favourite semblances and fighting styles.

Her snowhite allusion being played to explore the idea of a dysfunctional family is very good.

In general, I love how much she has grown slowly, but steadily and how she has progressively become warmer. I enjoyed her interactions with her siblings this season. She also gets many moments where she shines for her humanity and intelligence.

She is both Snowhite and the Prince, but also the Huntress that changes and makes others change. She becomes an inspiration for her whole family and since the Schnees are all in Vacuo and she will eventually join them, I am curious if there is going to be more about their family dynamic.

Other than this, I am excited about her Nevermore summon, what is means symbolically and when she will use it.

8) Ruby

I think Ruby’s arc must still enter its climax and that she will shine towards the end of the series.

That said, I love her as a protagonist. She has an interesting set of skills that makes her competent, but not invincible. Moreover, I like how she is important and a participant of the plot, but also does not single-handedly solves everything by herself. She has to learn just like the others. For example, this volume she learns that trust is a risk and the importance of taking risks.

Moreover, she is actually very rarely the protagonist of a volume climax. Speaking of the most climatic volumes, Pyrrha is the protagonist of the climax in volume 3, Yang and Raven are in volume 5, Penny in volume 8.

The climax where she is the most in focus as a character is volume 6 and that is the volume where her eyes are explored and her personal arc is set up. That said, she still manages to be important and to contribute to the action in many ways.

I think her role is to inspire others and I guess that by making that speech this volume she is gonna grow into a symbol even more. If that happens it will be interesting to see what this means for her.

Apart from this, I am curious about her subplot with her mother and if it will tie to her choice to save Cinder with her eyes (since I think this is where we are going). She is going to be both Hood and the Huntsman who kills the Wolf and saves the Victim.

9) Nora and Ren

They are my favourite canon romance.

Their story starts with Ren getting focus (with Nora as a support) and is slowly shifting to Nora developing as her own person (with Ren as a support).

It fits for them to be one of the series main romances because as characters they both explore the concept of emotions and emotional intelligence.

I would say Nora is one of the most emotional intelligent characters in the cast. She is aware of her own feelings for Ren and tries to push their story forwars. She quickly picks up on Pyrrha’s crush and encourages her to make a move. Honestly, she sees herself as a dumb jock, but she is far from it. She is one of the wisest and most sensitive characters:

Nora: You shove people out so you don’t have to feel things that are hard!

Ren is ironically the one struggling with feelings, even if his semblance is all about emotions. In a sense, it is as if he develops it precisely because he struggles with this part of himself.

As a child he is easily overwhelmed by emotions like fear, which goes in the way of his actions. So, when he is under stress he deveops a magical power that lets him control this part of himself. However, as time goes on, it becomes more and more obvious that he should face his own feelings. And once he faces them:

Ren: No! No one is replaceable.

Then he becomes able to see both himself and others more clearly.

In general, both Ren and Nora must overcome their issues if they want to end up together.

Ren’s issue was his fear of being completely vulnerable and to open up with another person. Nora’s is her complete dependance on Ren and how she sees herself as only a part of him, while she is much more.

As a side note, Ren finally confessing his feelings for Nora only to be (temporally) rejected is a great note for his character arc. He was repressing his feelings out of fear, but now he has grown enough to take a risk (opening up, showing vulnerability). Well, this risk does not pay off immediatley. Nora asks him for some time and this is surely not how Ren would have hoped things to go. Still, he understands and supports her. He takes an emotional risk that does not pay off immediately, but he is able to live with it.

In terms of writing, I also think Raven is top notch. Moreover, Winter is a lowkey favourite as well.

I also like some minor characters like Ilia, whose background is built on a very interesting premise that fits her chameleon motif, and Whitley who manages to be helpful even if he is not a fighter. Velvet also has a cool weapon and semblance that tie with her photography motif.

I also love Yang, Blake and Jaune aka the other members of the main cast.

In terms of design, many of my favourites have also my favourite designs (Emerald, Weiss, Mercury, Cinder, Penny, Winter, Ruby, Ren and Ilia).

Other than them, I love Neo’s design, characterization and fighting style:

Finally, I also like Tock’s design and concept, even if she only appears once.

Thank you for this ask! I had fun with it!

[ralthings]

A Give-and-Take Relationship

I found this really great analysis on Khun Bam relationship on Lofter, by ytaamiacthoi. Thought I’d translate it here for everyone to see. 

This was posted after S3 Ch66. Do not read if you have not caught up yet. 

The translation begins. 

SIU is really good in this. There’s always contrast in the development and expression of their relationship. 

For both of them, their feelings always mirror each other, there’s give and take between them, I refuse to believe that it’s not carefully crafted on purpose, even how they overcame the traumas of their past are compared with each other. Let’s not go into details here, but start with more obvious examples. The ones that left a deeper impression on me are these three incidents, for instance, the two times when they hugged each other (of course even when SIU didn’t draw it out they probably hugged countless of times before this) 

Bam rushes towards Khun. 

Khun rushes towards Bam.

Doesn’t it feel like returning home? It’s totally rushing back to where you belong.

When both of them run towards each other, they adapted a pose of acceptance and support. In the first instance, Khun just recovered and didn’t want Bam to worry. Similarly, Bam didn’t want Khun to worry under those circumstances. 

On the other hand, Hwaryun and Bam is kind of like how Isu is to Khun. They’re both “friends” or “sibling”-like characters whom they share a close bond and can have heart-to-heart talks with.

Hwaryun’s famous quote: Hey, it was Khun, not me!

Bam didn’t think that Khun made him do it. Whatever Khun says, he’ll accept it all. Basically Bam wouldn’t blame Khun. It clearly shows that Khun has a different status in Bam’s heart. 

This concept also reappeared later, unusually conspicuously, in Bam’s attitude towards “Khun using the dead souls to revive White”. 

Everyone knows about this double standard Khun applies:

[TN: author refers to the fact that Khun refused to let anyone touch his head, but pats Bam’s head like there’s no tomorrow] 

Next let’s look at how important they are towards each other: 

Khun expressed his fear in losing Bam, and made a request. 

This is the first time Bam explicitly made a request of Khun. And the main point Bam focused on is Khun’s safety - White isn’t a nice person after all: Bam is also afraid of losing Khun. 

It’s a little different from the request to climb the tower together. Here, it’s more like both are making a request during the process of fostering an intimate bond, telling the other half your needs, in order to fortify the relationship. 

Khun’s love has the characteristics of sacrifice and contribution, while Bam’s has the characteristics of “acceptance”. Acceptance meaning - I know all of your strengths and flaws, but I will embrace them, and I won’t dislike you for them. It’s not about liking you because of what you did, but accepting all of you because it’s you. 

Personally I think Khun is attracted to this aspect of Bam: Khun also needs salvation. He needs to be valued as he is, to be loved as he is. And not to have his value judged by his abilities, or whether he is useful to others - Bam gave Khun this sense of security from the very beginning. With his actions, Bam showed Khun that he is irreplaceable, and one of a kind. That Khun does not need to be a tool, or to desperately showcase his “usefulness” to others. That Bam can forgive and accept all of Khun, and that Khun’s existence is the most precious part about him. 

And when Khun wants retract into his shell, Bam would reach out to him gently.

Bam is very careful. He doesn’t want to lose Khun, but he is also very respectful of Khun’s wishes.

At any rate who asked Khun to only fall for this lmao

But firstly Khun is already used to doing this, and secondly Bam appears to be kind to everyone (although the reasons for doing so are different), a lot of people helped out as well. Both their relationship are gradually developed throughout the years. 

Why is that Bam always reaches out to Khun at the right time? Because whenever Khun gives his attention to Bam, Bam would immediately pick up on it. Bam would always give his undivided attention to Khun. Whether there’s something wrong with Khun, whatever Khun needs, Bam is able to tell at first glance. (It’s a type of instinct developed from attentiveness, understanding and trust over the long term) Just because Bam doesn’t say it, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t know.

Take note, that Khun responds to tenderness rather than tough love. Both their emotions are connected, whenever Khun blames himself or self-reflects, it’s often built upon him noticing Bam’s concerns / worries about him. (For the rest, it’s when Khun experiences helplessness towards Bam’s sufferings, that is Khun’s intrinsic concerns and worries for Bam).

And Bam had, before this, sacrificed himself for Khun for as long as six years (to protect Khun and others, he stayed by himself in FUG. This is something Khun will always remember). 

Bam is also first person to place unconditional trust in Khun.

Since before it all began, Khun had already received very precious things from Bam. 

To be honest, Bam’s powers had a similar quality - absorption / acceptance. Examples: extremely fast learning speed (acceptance of knowledge), the souls from White, Thorn, Red Thryssa etc. (makes it like a minimart....) I think perhaps the quality of the irregulars’ powers have some connection with their personalities. Of course this is not the main point. 

Bam’s acceptance towards the others is different from Khun. Back when he just entered the tower, he exhibited this quality fully. When Black March asked if Rachel is the most beautiful woman in the tower, Bam replied: 

For the current Bam, this place is already taken by Khun. 

Khun isn’t as perfect as his appearance; impatient, likes to complain, always lies to himself, but these doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change the fact that Khun is the most precious person to Bam. 

Bam also expresses his acceptance and accommodation towards Khun in their relationship. On one hand, Khun always goes with Bam’s decisions; but in terms of emotions, Bam goes with Khun’s. Whenever Khun wishes to provide, Bam would accept all of it, without any hints of rejection. Khun needs Bam to need him; accepting Khun’s providence is the best reciprocation Bam can give to Khun. Bam gave Khun a form of acceptance without words. Khun didn’t want Bam to know, and Bam, knowing this, didn’t look too deeply into it. But in reality Bam understands this clearer than anyone else. 

When Bam faces others, he’s actually the type to keep a distance, and not accept others easily, nor rely or depend on others. If Bam’s acceptance towards the others originate from his values of respect and quality, his acceptance towards Khun stems from the fact that Khun is too important to him. 

Khun’s emotions towards Bam is very well expressed in the original webtoon, so it won’t be elaborated much here. But an important point is: Bam gave Khun a sense of “security”, as if he became a “person”. Khun also gave Bam a safe harbour, and helped him achieve his growth. They help each other become a better version of themselves. They look out for each other’s real selves, their fragility, and work hard to understand and accept each other. 

There’s a need to repost this screenshot again: 

If it wasn’t for the fact that this is honestly extremely dangerous, that one wrong move and Khun could’ve been eaten by White, Bam would probably just go along with Khun and pretend not to know about this. 

Because Bam knows that Khun doesn’t want him to know. 

And Khun also probably guessed that Bam knows Khun doesn’t want to let him know. 

And Khun immediately knew the hidden meaning between the lines, he knew what Bam was trying to say as soon as Bam spoke the above lines to him: Khun, I still ended up using the souls’ power, what should I do? 

A very helpless feeling. It’s a concern towards Khun, an assurance towards Khun, an understanding of Khun. (1. I know you did this for me. 2. I understand you, it’s alright even if you did this, I won’t hate you, you are still the most important person to me), and also a help signal to Khun (even I didn’t notice Bam’s sign for help). 

Only Khun could comprehend Bam’s thoughtfulness, his kind but sensitive heart, and his lack of security. Khun understood that, and took the initiative to reach out. Similarly, he told Bam, and held him: Don’t be afraid, I’ll forgive you, and accept/embrace all of you. 

Bam also understand Khun too well. They need each other, hopes that they will be needed by each other, and also knows what they have done for each other. 

When Bam is hurt, he actually likes to retreat to himself, like a crab or snail - he needs a gentle tug, not a rough one - to come out of it. 

They honestly understand each other’s feelings

Last point - when Khun began to hug Bam, his body was leaning forward. But as you read, you’ll realise that Khun gradually straightened his back, and Bam finally grasped Khun’s back tightly. This means that with Khun’s initial hug, Bam relaxed from an uptight state, and wilfully buried himself into Khun’s embrace, to consciously seek help from Khun. In front of Khun, Bam easily let his guard down, instead of trying to push through. Khun also accepted Bam’s display of weakness; just like how Bam naturally accepted all of Khun. At this moment, they are not in the middle of a war, just them in each other’s tight embraces. This is a space that belongs to just two of them. 

Here Khun was still actively pulling Bam into his embrace

Here, Khun had straightened his back, and Bam was basically burying himself into Khun’s embrace.

Khun’s back is straightened. 

Perhaps the shift in stance and center of gravity symbolises the state of their emotions as they journeyed together. Their relationship is dynamic, spiralling upwards, and here it achieves its balance. 

Ahh they basically assimilated each other into their own lives

I really think Bam probably cried

Bam wouldn’t do this to any other person. 

And among the reasons for Bam’s feelings of self-blame, it likely includes his guilt towards Khun. It’s him who gave Khun no choice but to face such danger, but even when faced with this choice, he really doesn’t want to lose Khun at all. How helpless, perhaps it’s only through the embrace that they can truly acknowledge each other. 

At this moment, the hug is more than a thousand words. 

To add to this, I’ve read stories where there are various stages of relationship during a disaster - when they don’t know each other well, the girl would probably say “don’t leave me alone”, after a while, she’d probably say “just leave me and save yourself”, but at the current stage, the girl doesn’t need to say anything, because she understood the importance of trust in each other. 

Khun and Bam probably reached this final stage: they work with each other, need each other, trust each other, rely on each other. They won’t leave each other from now on, because they are already inseparable. 

You ask what kind of relationship this is? It’s just this, really can’t fit a third party in so what’s the difference in definition. At any rate their relationship can be of any nature, play any role for each other, but basically they are the only one in each other’s lives. 

I really suspect that Bam’s acceptance towards Khun had reached the point where no matter what Khun wants, what Khun becomes (in terms of relationship), he would accept it gracefully (as long as Khun needs it). Even though Bam’s acceptance seems to have no ceiling to it, but Khun wouldn’t abuse it. Khun seems to approach his relationships with some sort of sacred, selfless sacrifice, he wouldn’t think about tainting his sacred relationship with Bam. Sorry I’m a little delusional here. 

But who says Love is only limited to romantic love. I think they can be anything for each other. No matter what, they are the most important, and the most special in each other lives, something that’s irreplaceable by anyone. 

They can stop climbing the tower, but they can’t not have each other.

In the end:

Contrast before and after the hug:

Before the hug:

Bam is completely disoriented. 

(Yama comments that he’s in an excellent state. Just look at his face how is this state excellent at all lol)

After the hug:

Bam is obviously much better. Determined and calm. Maybe this is the power of love? 

Actually objectively speaking, it’s the right decision to continue attacking the Nest right after. Hwaryun’s verdict is the the same as what Khun usually would’ve taken for others, what Hwaryun said is also what Khun usually would’ve told others. But in this case, the person in question is Bam. 

You can’t think straight when it’s the person you care about.

Adding Hwaryun’s comments: 

[writteninspring]

Respectfully, calling LokiSylvie a het ship isn't biphobic because it's just stating an empirical fact about the nature of the relationship itself. For example, the relationship between me (a lesbian) and my girlfriend (bi) is a lesbian/gay relationship because we are a same gender couple. If my girlfriend were with a man, it would be a straight/het relationship because they were opposite genders (although she, of course, would still be bi). It's not an insult, unless someone considers heterosexuality to be an insult - it's just the way the English language works. 'Het' described the nature of the relationship itself, not the people in it. Loki (male presenting) and Sylvie (female presenting) would be in a straight relationship if they were together, but it wouldn't make either of them less bisexual as a person.

Heterosexual relationships are very, very common in the Marvel universe - 100% of all canon relationships shown onscreen. But in the last episode, a main character was finally confirmed to be bisexual, so many of us were hoping that we might finally see a gay relationship or, more realistically, even a small scene where either Loki or Sylvie flirted with someone of the same gender. I think this is why people are feeling hurt and upset. It's not Loki, the character, making the choice to be in a relationship with Sylvie - it's a choice made by the writers of the show that upholds the status quo of Marvel only showing straight relationships onscreen.

Look, I get your point but let me clarify some things about what I have said.

First of all, no that is not how language works, there are other, more correct terms to describe the nature of relationships that are widely used. There are no gay or het relationships, there are same-sex/gender relationships (you even used that term yourself) and there are opposite/opposed sex/gender relationships. You can very much define the nature of a relationship without putting a label on it that defines the sexuality of the people in that relationship. You can state the empirical fact without erasing the character's queerness in labelling their relationship. If bisexual people in same-sex relationships, like your girlfriend, are happy with calling it a gay relationship that is fine. If bisexual people in opposite-sex relationships are comfortable calling that a straight relationship that is also fine. I, for one, am not. And insisting that straight and gay are the only possible labels that can be applied to a relationship when there are other ways to talk about this does feel a little exclusionist to me. This is not to say that you personally are exclusionist, but the language you use surely is.

Second, I am aware that people are upset about the choices of the creators and not about the choices of a fictional character. But that choice hasn't even been canonised yet. Fans took one sentence that implies romantic feelings between the two and just pretended like that ends all possibilities for the portrayal of other flirtations or whatever over the course of the remaining episodes. There is no confirmed romantic relationship between Loki and Sylvie as of yet. The doors are still very much open for anything. And that is, in general, another big flaw I often see in how people talk about bisexuality. A person remains bisexual no matter their current relationship status. Even if Loki and Sylvie were to enter some sort of romantic relationship, that doesn't mean that everything else is off the table. A bisexual person doesn't one day choose to be in a "het" or "gay" relationship and thus decides to be het or gay forever. And that is something I believe you already very much understand.

So then what is the reason for being upset here, really? Is it truly because people wanted a "gay" relationship or is it because they wanted Loki to be gay and not bi? I, for one, believe that to really portray bisexuality, attraction to multiple genders needs to be shown explicitly. And maybe you can't do that all at once. I regard LokiSylvie as a questionable choice for reasons other than them being "a het ship" but I'm willing to just take the ride and hope for the best.

As a bisexual woman, I am very much happy that Loki got confirmed bisexual through his words. And as things are I do not need to see him in any relationship (be it same or opposite sex) to confirm his identity. I do not care about his current relationship with Sylvie and neither do I care for a possible relationship between him and Mobius. Personally, I would like to see Loki not get romantically involved with anyone because I don't see that working with his character at the moment.

TL;DR Respectfully, you do not get to tell a bisexual what is and isn't biphobic

Also, more of a side note, but please don't say "Marvel" when you are actually just talking about the Marvel Cinematic Universe. There are a plethora of not-straight characters in the Marvel comics out of which Loki is just one. And the comics also actively show him being flirtatious with male presenting characters.

[fortunatelylori]

This is a long one: having read all of the sympathetic and convincing Sidney Parker posts here, I am wonder if you’re letting Sidney off a little too easily? It seems to me that no matter how much he may want to find love (as has been so eloquently argued here), he has not yet learned true selfless love imo. His half proposal is a point in case. Consider the comparison with Babbers.

Sidney: “What a brute I was… I hope that I am a different man now… If I have changed at all it is in no small part to you. I have never wanted to put myself in someone else’s power before. I have never wanted to care for anyone but myself.”Lord B: “My dear girl don’t you know that I am in love with you… It’s enough that you like me and that you trust me…I have no wish to own you…i want to make you happy. I could never try to lead or constrain you, Esther. All I ask is to walk through life by you

I know he was just getting warmed up, but Sidney’s expression of love is still very firmly about his own development and his own realisation, while Babs’s expression of love is very much about what he hopes to give, and what it means to love. Sidney’s growth arc is incomplete and he still hasn’t fully earned Charlotte, whom Rose Williams has made so generous, brave and loveable. You have already pointed out that this is the midway point in the story, and I completely agree.

But I would love to hear your thoughts on how this circle can be squared: Are we supposed to think that Sidney has done something noble by pimping himself out to Eliza Campion for the sake of his feckless brother and disappointing and destroying his own happiness and, more importantly by JA rules, that of a young inexperienced woman whom he has publicly shouted at, exposed himself to, felt up, kissed, and half proposed to?

Andrew Davies has put Sidney in a hell of a bind: If he breaks it off with Eliza now, he’s a dishonourable cad. If Eliza breaks it off with him, Charlotte looks like second prize to his first great love in the world’s eyes. If he marries Eliza and she dies and he runs back to Charlotte, how can we expect Char to enter that “river” again?

The only comparable situation in JA is Elinor Dashwood and Edward Ferrars, and Edward’s honour was completely intact throughout: his secret engagement occurred when he was young and naïve; he retreated from Elinor once he realised he loved her before more damage was done; he stuck by the loathsome Miss Steele once their engagement was public despite wanting Elinor; Miss Steele throws him over for his brother making clear that she was only ever interested in money and feelings were not at stake.

By contrast, Sidney has broken the heart of an intelligent and worthy young woman for a venal and loveless marriage, though the cynical “bargain” seems to be that he try to love Eliza. Ugh. Badly done, Sidney! How can we redeem Sidney to the point of making him worthy of St. Charlotte? How can he be extricated from this mess without losing his honour and without making Charlotte suffer any further?I would love to see Charlotte released from the passivity she has been forced into here.

She has been robbed of any agency after being established as an active character – a toiler and a spinner. Perhaps she will concoct a way to save Sidney’s soul behind the scenes, showing him in the process what true selfless love looks and feels like. I have a weird feeling that in one episode someone said something like “Men need to be helped without ever knowing they’re being helped…” or something similar. That’s coming back to me now – maybe that’s the only direction this can take:

Charlotte orchestrates Sidney’s rescue with the help of Lady S and the Prince Regent and then retreats back to Heraclitus and rabbit hunting in Willingden, where Sidney comes to find her. After a spot of grovelling and sexy scything in the fields to show that he is not just a dandy city boy but a man of substance, he will win back our Charlotte. Whew! sorry forth long one, had to get it off my chest. Now, about that GOT ending…

Hey there!

Whew … that was INTENSE! Lol … I hope you really meant it when you said you wanted my thoughts on this take because you’re going to get them and …. I don’t think you’re going to like them.

So here goes nothing … I’m going to break this down into topics because your messages covers a lot of ground.

Firstly, the issue of selfless love:

When I was much, much, MUCH younger that I am now, I watched a little movie called Love Story (1970). This film was essentially The Notebook of my mother’s generation. And the most famous line in that film is:

Jenny: Love means never having to say you're sorry

The main female character is standing in the freezing cold with no way to enter her apartment because her husband got pissed off at her and bolted. And that’s what comes out of her mouth … Because love is selfless, right? You don’t need to apologize for anything EVER because love means never having to say you’re sorry.

Let me tell you something: THAT IS COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT! Anyone who believes romantic love should be selfless needs to reevaluate. The belief in selfless romantic love will not help anyone find that kind of love (because it doesn’t exist). What it will do is that it will allow that person to be prayed on by fuck bois/fuck girls everywhere because you are going to continually excuse their behavior … because you have to love them unconditionally, right? WRONG!

Selfless love is acceptable only in a parent-child dynamic. That’s it! As Cersei would put it:

Cersei: On that front, a mother has no choice

Romantic love is very much conditional on treatment, involvement and attraction. When it isn’t, that’s fertile ground for abuse.

You think this is romantic?

Babington: My dear girl, don’t you know that I am in love with you?

Esther: And what is that to me since I do not love you?

Babington: I don’t care. It’s enough that you like me and that you trust me.

What happens six months down the line when Babs catches Esther having sex with Edward in their marital bed? Do you think he’s still not going to care she doesn’t love him back? What Babington is doing in his proposal is lying to himself. No person who has ever been in love ever genuinely does not care if the object of his affection loves him back. We all want to be loved back. We pretend we don’t because we’re so desperate to have that person that we think we’re able to live without it or, most likely, because we think we can talk them round into loving us.

To be clear, I don’t think Esther will cheat on Babington with Edward. But you can bet your bottom dollar Edward will be coming back into her life in season 2 and that she won’t be over him. Guess who will get his heart put through the ringer?

Sidney’s proposal, on the other hand, is very much how an adult should suggest a lifelong commitment to another adult.

Sidney: If I have changed at all, it’s in no small part down to you. I have never wanted to put myself in someone else’s power before. I’ve never wanted to care for anyone but myself.

In his speech what Sidney is laying out is the following: I am well aware I have issues and that we’ve clashed around those issues time and time again. I am committing myself to fixing them because you make me want to do better. I have trust issues but you make me want to hand you my heart because I know you won’t hurt me. I want to share my life with you and make your needs a priority in my life because you make me less selfish.

I’m sorry … but I’ll take Sidney’s proposal over Babington’s any day of the week because Sidney has a plan for our future (lol) while Babington knows I don’t love him but he is so blinded by infatuation that he can’t see he’s promising something he can’t deliver on … and most crucially no one should deliver on.  

Sidney’s growth arc is incomplete and he still hasn’t fully earned Charlotte, whom Rose Williams has made so generous, brave and loveable.

I agree that Sidney’s arc is incomplete but so is Charlotte’s. She’s not fully come into her own either and this isn’t a matter of one character being flawless while the other has to work his way to her perfection.

Sidney doesn’t need to earn Charlotte because Charlotte is not a possession, she’s a person and Sidney is not some lecherous monster that needs to go through the 7 circles of hell in order to “earn” anything. Sidney and Charlotte are two people that have had some conflicts but nothing truly disastrous (until Sidney proposes to Eliza, that is) and in which they both have had their share of blame. It’s not like Sidney has been the sole aggressor in all of this. Charlotte has insulted him and mocked him in an assortment of ways.

In the end they have chosen to put those differences aside and have come together with a new understanding of who the other person is. They’ve chosen to love each other and accept each other’s flaws. There is no discrepancy in worth between the two of them that needs to be addressed by Sidney.

What should happen in a potential season 2 is that he will need to rebuild Charlotte’s trust after breaking it with his engagement to Eliza. But that discussion is separate since his initial proposal comes before the Tom Parker realizes he doesn’t have insurance debacle.

Are we supposed to think that Sidney has done something noble by pimping himself out to Eliza Campion for the sake of his feckless brother and disappointing and destroying his own happiness and, more importantly by JA rules, that of a young inexperienced woman whom he has publicly shouted at, exposed himself to, felt up, kissed, and half proposed to?

I think what we’re supposed to take from Sidney’s decision to sacrifice his happiness to help his brother is that his “outlier” facade was just that … a façade. Beneath all that is a man who is willing to go to extremes for the people he cares about. I also think that it shows Sidney, despite his outward confidence, doesn’t really love himself that much.

You’re making the mistake of assuming Sidney’s decision to marry Eliza is a rejection of Charlotte. I wouldn’t blame Charlotte for thinking it but we have a 360 view of the story that she doesn’t have the luxury of having.

We know Sidney loves her. We know he is heartbroken at having to let her go. But he doesn’t want his brother to go to jail and he has only 1 week to figure out a way out of the hole Tom has dug himself into. I’m pretty sure Eliza was the last option on the list of things Sidney tried to do in order to help his brother.

As for your implication that Sidney somehow dishonored Charlotte, it’s pretty obvious from the tone of the show that the whole “there always has to be a chaperone” and “no kissing before marriage” etc. are not rules they are choosing to include in their version of the regency. Charlotte leaves Sanditon with her reputation intact. It is her heart that is broken and I’d be willing to bet that in Sidney’s mind, he has already convinced himself that she will recover very quickly while he will be in pain for the rest of his life. Because … as I’ve said … he doesn’t love himself enough to realize just how much Charlotte loves him.

If he breaks it off with Eliza now, he’s a dishonourable cad. If Eliza breaks it off with him, Charlotte looks like second prize to his first great love in the world’s eyes. If he marries Eliza and she dies and he runs back to Charlotte, how can we expect Char to enter that “river” again? The only comparable situation in JA is Elinor Dashwood and Edward Ferrars, and Edward’s honour was completely intact throughout

I’m not sure what your point is here? For starters, who cares what “the world” thinks? Charlotte will know that Sidney loves her and only her and that his engagement with Eliza was an act of desperation on his part. And so will we, the viewers, because and I quote:

Sidney: I don’t love her, you know.

Charlotte and Sidney’s situation is exactly the same as Eleanor and Edward’s, with the exception that Sidney didn’t flirt with Charlotte and almost proposed to her while being engaged to someone else the way Edward does.

And if we are going to take “the world’s” opinion into account, I’m pretty sure people very much speculated that Edward was nursing a broken heart over the woman for whom he risked everything, was disinherited and that abandoned him to marry his brother. After all why else would he retreat to the countryside and marry the almost old maid with no fortune, Eleanor Dashwood? See how you can spin anything into something negative if you want to?

How can we redeem Sidney to the point of making him worthy of St. Charlotte?

Sigh … Sidney has always been worthy of Charlotte. He is a good man ... with great AAAABBBSSSS. And while Charlotte getting her heart broken is deeply sad, I think it’s safe to say it’s Sidney that has gotten the truly shitty end of the stick. He has tied himself to a woman whom he does not love and who treats him like he’s her dog.

I don’t think people realize just how hopeless his situation is. It’s not like if he marries Eliza, he can get a divorce a few years down the line. He is stuck with the woman who betrayed him 10 years ago for the rest of his life. And he’s in this situation not even because of his own venal desires or greed. He’s in it to save his brother … a brother that will probably ruin himself regardless. That kind of thing eats at a person.

Charlotte’s state, on the other hand, is not permanent. I’m not trying to minimize her pain. Heartbreak is horrible and deeply traumatizing. But as everyone who has gone through it can tell you, it eventually goes away. You recover, you move on.

I don’t think she will need to go through the entire letting go process because she and Sidney will be reunited and everything will work out for the best but if she had to, she would go through it and come out the other side even stronger than she is now.

I would love to see Charlotte released from the passivity she has been forced into here. She has been robbed of any agency after being established as an active character – a toiler and a spinner. Perhaps she will concoct a way to save Sidney’s soul behind the scenes, showing him in the process what true selfless love looks and feels like.

See … this is confusing to me. On the one hand you think Sidney isn’t worthy of Charlotte, on the other you want her to save him. I would suggest it’s not Charlotte’s job to extract Sidney from the shitty situation he’s in. He has to do that for himself.

As for Charlotte being robbed of agency … what’s that even based on? What was she supposed to do in that situation? It’s not like there’s 80.000 pounds hidden under the Heywood family tree that Lassie can dig up …

After a spot of grovelling and sexy scything in the fields to show that he is not just a dandy city boy but a man of substance, he will win back our Charlotte

And this is the part where you truly lost me … As a born and bred city girl, with a generational line of city dwellers dating back centuries, I will have you know I have SUBSTANCE, ok?!?! I have many, many substances … I’m oh so substantiated and stuff.

All joking aside, why does Sidney need to prove that he is a man of substance? What the hell has he done to make anyone assume he isn’t?

I guess in the end our conflicting views come from our perceptions of Sidney as a person. I don’t think Sidney is a bad boy that needs to be redeemed through his love for Charlotte. I think he has always been a good man who is trying to do his best for those around him, who has had to deal with some pretty shitty situations in his life and who is involved in at least one toxic relationship (with his brother). In addition to that, he has a self-destructive streak (people who get dumped don’t necessarily react to it by setting fire to their whole lives and almost dying in the process) which makes it easy for him to prioritize Tom’s well-fare over his own life.

The reason why he falls so deeply in love with Charlotte is because she offers him a real chance of breaking out of those patterns and being able to be seen and loved for who he is. The problem is that toxic past relationships are still very much encroaching on his ability to move on with his life in a healthy way.

In order to break free, what Sidney needs isn’t to be saved. What he needs is to put a stop to the negative patterns that exist at the core of his relationship with Tom (and Mary by extension) and to put the whole Eliza relationship to rest.  

[fcrgedstrcngth]

Frigga

Face-claim: Rene  Russo

Status: semi-active

Main verse: canon; post-Avengers

Biography:

Pre-Thor:

Frigga was born the daughter of a relatively inconsequential Vanir nobleman, and a well-respected witch who had turned her focus towards healing – all the better to be accepted by the Vanir. The youngest of a half-dozen children, she spent much of her younger years three steps behind her mother, watching her heal others, and going on to learn the basics of the art for herself. It was her brothers who ensured she knew how to defend herself, how to wield a sword and daggers, and in time she learned how to use her magic defensively as well.

A fact which she was later grateful for, as her people fell into war with the Aesir. The war was trying for the Vanir, and distasteful to them; soon they began to desire peace, and a truce. Bor, at least, wasn’t a totally unreasonable man, and a truce was soon reached – though it came at an unexpected price for Frigga. Bor’s favored son, Odin, the heir to his throne, had taken note of her – or at least of her beauty – in the council rooms while the truce was being outlined. Part of the price of peace was that Frigga moved to Asgard to become Odin’s wife and eventual queen, and for the sake of her beloved people, Frigga agreed.

It was a difficult transition, though not, at least a difficult beginning to a marriage. She came to care for, and eventually love, Odin, but she struggles with Asgardian culture. The violence that was seeped into every aspect of their lives hurt Frigga’s heart, and though her opinions slowly began to change parts of Odin’s outlook, one woman couldn’t change a whole culture.

In time, she turned her thoughts toward more personal things – hers and Odin’s growing desire to have children. However, it was not something that came easily to them – specifically to Frigga, and healers had never yet been able to heal their own bodies.

It was a painful irony, Frigga thought, that her title became that of the “All-Mother” when Odin took the throne, but it became something that she embraced. If she couldn’t have children of her own, why shouldn’t she “adopt” and look out for all of Asgard? That was her title, after all, and from that angle, it was one she was able to embrace. Her unbreakable love for the Vanir remaining, the notion of it made her feel like a fully-integrated Asgardian at long last.

Yet a miracle was waiting just around the corner for the couple. Frigga became pregnant and gave Odin a perfectly healthy miracle son they named Thor. The miracle even happened a second time; she became pregnant again… but it was not to be. This time, the child, a daughter, was born lifeless.

Amid a chaotic time of war with Jotunheim was not the time to grieve, but Frigga couldn’t help it. She took to her bed, she was so inconsolable with grief for her child and a growing hatred for her own body. Odin’s frequent presence in the warfront – and absence from her – did not help, and Thor was the only reason she was kept from abject depression most days.

Then the war with Jotunheim was over and won, and Odin returned to her – bringing much more home than she had ever anticipated. She was sitting in Thor’s nursery, minding her son – as she’d had energy to do little else since the stillbirth – when Odin came in, traces of the battle still on his armor, and placed a blue-eyed baby boy in her arms. An orphan misplaced in the war, he said, their son now, if she desired it so.

She didn’t question it until that night when they lay together in the darkness, unable to see one another’s expression. How had he found an Asgardian infant on Jotunheim? He hadn’t; the child was a Jotun, but well-disguised of the babe’s own accord, and he need never know his true heritage. He could be their second child, and if the time ever came, revealing that a Jotun had been raised in the Asgardian palace might help bring about true peace and partnership with Jotunheim.

After that night, it was never mentioned again, and the boys became equal in Frigga’s heart… though as the years wore on, she noticed that they were not viewed as equals by their peers. So, she took Loki into her personal tutelage; he had shown signs of proficiency in magic even if he didn’t know how much so, and she taught him how to capitalize upon it. How to use his size as a strength all it’s own, more spells than were perhaps necessary – but he was good at it, and she enjoyed the private time spent with boy… even as he became a man.

Even as she and Odin began to disagree more and more on things, as Thor’s childish character flaws remained despite his age, as Loki began to maintain friendships with fewer people than ever. The flaws in her family were beginning to show, and despite being the All-Mother, Frigga didn’t know how to help her three men. So, she loved them all as fiercely as she could, but it didn’t really help, and she felt increasingly powerless against it all.

Thor:

Especially when Odin banished Thor to Midgard, of all places, with none of his powers or any real context of the culture he was entering. She didn’t like to yell at her husband, but she did then – and he ignored her pleas, regardless.

But as bad as the incident with Thor was, he at least returned home changed for the better.

It was Loki whose issues were more difficult to resolve. In going to Jotunheim, he’d met Laufey, and come home and touched the Casket, discovering his true heritage. Odin, she believed, had done his best to answer Loki’s questions, but clearly, they hadn’t been sufficient answers, because Loki had come to her with his questions while they were at Odin’s bedside. Her heart stuttered in her chest as he explained what he’d discovered, she did her best to answer his questions and ease his obvious disquiet. She knew by the look on his face she hadn’t said enough, even as guards came and presented him with Gungnir, making him king until Odin awoke.

She told herself she’d done her best in the moment, but in the end her best clearly wasn’t enough. Loki fell from the Bifrost, and she grieved, swearing to do better – by Thor, by Odin, by her people. 

The Avengers:

And she tried to do better… only to have that wound of her grief ripped back open when Loki reappeared, warped and evil, on Midgard.

She tried to tell them – Thor, Odin, Heimdall, all of them – that something wasn’t right with Loki, but again she was ignored, and the second prince of Asgard was brought home in chains and a muzzle. She spent years visiting him periodically, trying to get him to talk about what had happened, what had changed her boy. 

Thor: The Dark World:

In the end, her presence was once again for naught – on all counts. When it mattered, Odin ordered even her from the room and sentenced her son to a life in solitary confinement. Once again, she felt all but helpless to do anything about it.

Feeling increasing trapped and useless, Frigga felt her life shrinking down to visiting Loki via her magic, trying to keep Thor content in a life without the presence of his Midgardian love, Dr. Jane Foster, and distressingly, trying to avoid an increasingly unpredictable Odin. Then, Dr. Foster was on Asgard, and under Frigga’s protection, and a terrible, unprecedented opportunity – a chance to rest, and then do some good.

She used her magic to create the necessary glamours, fighting Kurse with a double until he wrung its neck. She left the double where it was, for Thor, Odin, and Jane to find, going so far as to make it appear that she had stopped breathing. It had taken an enormous effort from her magic so suddenly, but so far as Asgard and her family knew, she was dead. She stayed on Asgard to maintain the double until it was sent up in a funeral pier, while simultaneously keeping the glamour of a peasant woman over herself. With the double gone, she allowed herself to rest from draining her magic, then used a bag from the royal treasury to buy a small spaceship.

Post-Thor: The Dark World:

No one ever discovered where the missing money had gone, so that she knew, and so long as she kept up a glamour, Frigga found herself blissfully free to travel wherever she wanted. She healed wherever she went, giving passage and safekeeping sometimes to those who needed it. She felt useful and happy and good again.

Post-Thor: Ragnarok: 

But she had never meant for her absence from Asgard to be permanent, only a long vacation, and she would deal with the repercussions of her hasty actions when she returned. After two years, though, she suddenly heard rumors of a new… dictator, a queen, taking over Asgard. Violently. Frigga returned to her ship, and to Asgard, as quickly as possible.

But Asgard was going up in smoke, and she was barely able to find radio waves claiming to be coming from Asgardian refugees. Yet again, she was just too late. Horrified, still shrouded in a glamour, she rescued the few floating, live stragglers that she could and rendezvoused with them under the care of the last remaining Valkyrie. Staying quietly to the sidelines and always disguised, she helped them rebuild on Midgard, hoping that here, calling herself a healer named Gitte, she could find a way to be useful to the downtrodden people who had no idea she was their queen.

Verses:

FROM THIS MOMENT ON: follows canon MCU and Norse Mythology

ROAD LESS TRAVELED: any other AU threads

AUS:

SO MANY WAYS TO BE: (Descendants) queen of a country near, but not brought into, the US of Auradon

EVER EVER AFTER: (Fairytale) queen

BORROWED BABIES: (Foster Care) foster mother

I SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I’M UP TO NO GOOD: (Harry Potter) Ravenclaw seventh-year

ALL THAT GLEAMS AND GLITTERS: (Modern) an orthopedic surgeon

ALTERNATIVELY 1902: (Victorian) disguises herself as a nurse whenever she feels like interacting with the Midgardians

GROW UP WITH THE LAND: (Wild West) disguises herself as a nurse whenever she feels like interacting with the Midgardians

FORWARD TO VICTORY: (World War II) a disguises herself as a nurse whenever she feels like interacting with the Midgardians

Starter Call

[ts-2020-olympics]

Episode 7 - “I wonder why you're not liked” - Nicole (& Ben)

Glad I sat out on that one - really didn't know anything Survivor related. Darcy's score of 12 is a huge shame, but gives me incentive to vote him out. He tried, he flopped, that's how it is. If it's me going this round, GGWP. 

Oh yeah! So, Nicole returned to the game.... Grrreat. It was probably the worst outcome I could have, but honestly, I don't want to dwell on it too long. With Nicole and Jacob both back in the game and Juls out of it, my fate looks worse and worse each day, as my list of allies continues to shorten and my list of enemies only gets longer. I feel very scared for the future, and rather trapped as of now, trapped between millions of possibilities, none of which have me doing very well. But hey, hasn't that been how it's been since Day 1 of this game? I started things off on Sonkei, a tribe so quiet I couldn't tell if I was running the show or on the bottom of everything until like 3 tribal councils in. A tribe where every new enemy I made would come back from the arena with a vengeance, and things only got harder. A tribe where I consistently lost challenges despite putting in my all. Then I got to nuMIraitowa, and my time here has been incredibly hectic. A bumpy road, to say the least. It's been a journey of gaining friends and then losing them, knowing people are lying but not knowing why, and just struggling to find the tiniest crack so I can get off the fucking bottom and just... SURVIVE. It's really been tough out here, and you can see the game starting to wear me down. My insanity is starting to come through in the main chats and honestly I've just lost all patience and tolerance that I had at the beginning of the game, the real me is beginning to show through. The one who lashes out, and desperately tugs at every heartstring possible, and says exactly what he's thinking without giving a fuck who's listening or the repercussions it might have down the line. Who makes everything public. I KNOW that these things are not typically good for my game, and yet, I just find myself so inclined to do them. Even though they've never helped me win anything, I can't help but be true to myself. I don't know, I guess I just feel frustrated. I'm at a place in ORGs where I feel so helpless, like I'm the victim of my own personality. I know exactly what's holding me back but I can't seem to just get past it. I guess I just keep hoping that one of these days, I'll play exactly true to myself, 100% me, and people will like that person enough to want to work with him or be happy to reward him a win. But it hasn't happened yet and I don't know if it can happen here anymore. I'm really struggling to push through. But, if there's one thing I'll never do, it's give up. Even when everything feels like it's caving in and I'm ready to just collapse, like I was saying earlier - no matter how much I want to do something, the real me ALWAYS fights back and does what it wants anyway. And the real me can't give up. Deep down in my core I always fight back, I always stand up for myself, sometimes even when I'm wrong. I just can't stand letting things go, and I know it's a character flaw, but hell, it's also a strength, and it's something I'm proud of, in a weird way. I don't want to be the player who gives in, never reveals anything, or plays it safe. I want to play it my way because if I don't, then how can I enjoy a win? How can I be proud of myself for winning if it wasn't ME that won? I have to win it my way, and sure, right now it looks difficult. VERY difficult. Maybe even impossible. But I'm approaching on the Final 16, and maybe, just maybe, a swap is on the horizon. Maybe new things are coming and maybe this entire game is about to reinvent itself for me. I've got allies in Jordan, Eve, Pete... potential allies in Caeleb, Ben, Sammy, Kevin... Maybe I could fix things with Emma. Honestly, who knows what's ahead. I'm very scared, partly, if that wasn't obvious by this big emotional confessional. But I'm also kind of exhilarated, this is exactly what Survivor is supposed to be and I can't wait for the next stage of the game. These are the Olympics, so it's go big or go home. Let's do this.

Hello again, this is Darcy here reporting with more confessing.  So, for starters, I still have yet to find something at the Olympic Village, which is really nothing new at this point of the game.   Now for the fun parts, my tribe lost Immunity, which not really surprising, since that kind of challenge I felt whoever had gold medal won that challenge.   So, we get to enjoy another tribal, where I am hoping for it to be Ben, since Ben is the one I trust the least, due to hearing about Ben wanting to come for me last round if I lost immunity, assuming that was a true tidbit anyways.   I have a feeling this vote could be between Ben and I, but here's to hoping Ben targets someone else and not me woo!   I do have enough trust in my alliance with Beck, Tommy and Karen though that us four should hopefully stick together to just take out the common enemy in Ben.   Then Ben may come back again with a gold medal, but if he does, I mean good for him.

I'm back, babes! Okay, so regarding my last confessional...I guess maybe I went a little too hard on some people. But, I was angry and validly so. Nothing much has changed even though I'm really good at faking forgiveness. About twenty minutes after I dropped in the FOUR AND A HALF HOUR PRESSURE COOKER, Sammy messages me asking to call!

I'm back babes! So as soon as I got back after the FOUR AND A HALF HOUR ENDURANCE, people were all of the sudden really happy to see me -- which was a LOT different than 24 hours prior! I talked to my best ally Kevin first, of course! I really hope at the end of the game Kevin's confessionals aren't like "oh geez and then I had to talk to Nicole, she's so annoying" bc I will be crushed, as a person he is just so nice and I'm so happy we have been given the opportunity to become friends from this game! So I talk to Kevin, then Caeleb and then...whatta know! Sammy! Right to the rescue, he wants to call after 1) voting me out 2) revoting me out. Now, long story short I made significant peace with Sammy through the phone call BUT something did happen that really did not sit well with me. While we were calling he said he DIDN'T want to apologize because we both did things wrong. Hm. Well, Sammy! Okay! I would have had more respect and less wariness of him moving forward if he did apologize but, he didn't. He kind of said like "ok so i know i lied about the advantages I had in this game and gave you nothing to trust me off of, got mad when you didn't trust me, then decided I was going to vote with Eve to get rid of you, revoted to seal your fate and called you out on a tribal call like 'if anyone wants to apologize now would be the time', but i don't think I NEED to apologize because, we were equally wrong.' Someone please explain to ME how exactly it is that we would be equally wrong when everything I did was to protect myself, and everything he did was because he had other people he could trust over me. Now that Juls is gone and he kind of showed his ass, he's now saying hey haha let's work together again though! I haven't decided if I want to do that, AND now I have a lot more options because people saw how kick ass I could be :) Speaking of the comp, it kind of grinds my gears that coming back in the last few messages before I entered again were Emma and Landen actively rooting against me. Landen, I understand. Emma...who even are you? Why do you hate me? lmao. Okay I may still be a little bit mad. Ben also as I'm typing this messaged me "I wonder why you're not liked", which is like hurtful but accurate. Anyway....I'm making at LEAST f15 now (bc my gold medal) so that's very fun, A+ content. I think we are swapping after this THANK GOD bc I have to get AWAY from this tribe. I hope I get to stay with either Jacob or Kevin, and maybe even get swapped with Jordan Pines or Karen so I can feel some semblance of security. I'll make a confessional about it next round bc :) im back :) hehe

anyway so this ugly ass tribe lost again. The only good thing to happen over the last few days is that nicole is back ugh I wasn’t ready to lose on of my allies skdjfkdjfj anyway so juls is gone and it’s down to me tommy Darcy beck caeleb and Ben, 4/6 of us are in an alliance and then there’s cae and Ben sjdjjddnjd obvs Ben is the choice to vote but also like bc it’s so obvious I’m scared that he’ll know and play an idol /: scares me bc I’m not 100% sure who he’d vote and he’s shown that he’s willing to vote for me at any moment so I’m just debating whether I should throw a vote at caeleb just in case to tie it or if I should let one of my alliance members potentially get voted out. Best case scenario if Ben plays an idol is that he votes for beck bc I don’t trust that hoe at all wkendkdndndn but yeah I haven’t had time to really talk to Ben so it’s prob too late to probe into his plans. Ugh I hope this tribal is quick & painless /: 

hello. confessional #472. i've survived another round so that's fun! i feel rly solid about the bonds i have with people right now so i know a tribe swap is incoming but that's for the best bc i'd rather not vote out anyone on yushu rn… so we'll see! 

Really mad I got voted out, feeling pretty betrayed by my tribe rn. 

I wish em didn't have to get voted out, but I'm pretty confident she'll fight tooth and nail to get back into the running..

Tribal just happened and we voted out Ben again in a unanimous vote. It was an easy vote I think either we are swapping into 3 tribes of 5 at Final 15 or 16, but if it's Final 16 the Gold Medal winner will be exiled. If we don't swap I think Ben will win the Gold and Beck the silver medal so we have a good chance of winning immunity incase there's another round before we swap. I'm really just trying to maintain get close to Caeleb because he's probably still skeptical about the whole Juls vote which I'm happy she's out because she's a threat but on the other hand she was so sweet it was sad she had to leave early. At this point I'm trying to maintain good relationships going into a swap and hope I get a good tribe that's strong and will leave me in the majority going into the merge. Also, at this point once Emma or Ben is officially voted out we'll be down to 9 returnees and 7 newbies so I really don't care if some of these returnees start hitting the road and going home. It's gonna come down to who wants to take me to the end and that's who I'm with. 

It's the end of the round, you know what that means? LAST MINUTE JORDAN PINES CONFESSIONAL TIME! It's america's favourite game show where Jordan Pines quickly makes a confessional at the last possible moment to not recieve a strike and tries to make his thoughts sound coherent. Let's Play! Whew this round was awful compared to every round so far in every aspect. First we get a challenge and I'm like... Oh Shit we can win this! and I work my ass of coordinating, doing most of the work for the tribe getting list ready in shit. And guess what it worked, we had the best scores over all and it wasn't very close... until you remember that each member of a tribe getting 20% on a challenge like this is basically a guaranteed win unless you are absolutely garbage. So we lose! Here we are and I have 4 people on my tribe including and I want to go far with all 3. Like I was at a loss. Not to mention the fact that I was having the day from hell where I could only be on for a minute like for the whole day. It ends up being emma and that fucking sucks cause emma is an icon. She has now won the duel and thank god I had some common sense not to blindside her and give her a heads up so that I can repair the relationship. Let's see how she feels about me tonight, but like I stand by it that I quote it here, in an ideal world i would go as close to the end with emma, shes iconic and i trust her a lot. I hope I havent damaged this relationship too badly! LET ME SWAP ALREADY!

I am tired of losing!! we’ve been attending tribal nonstop and it sucks. All these people are amazing. The vote was between Sarah and Em, Jordan was quite busy and didn’t care who left so it came down to my decision unfortunately. I decided em should go because I just don’t have a relation with her like I do with Jordan and Sarah. Luckily she won and is still in the game and got us gold <3 Jordan’s gonna try and do damage control with Em to keep her on our side. We’ve got a few advantages rn  and have been leading these tribals so I hope we stay in a good position. 

[linkspooky]

Oh! Top 5 Kimetsu no Yaiba characters?

I only have four characters I’d truly call faves from Kimetsu no Yaiba, but let’s go!

1. Doma - “Human emotions are nothing to me, like mere dreams…” 

Every time someone claims that Doma is the only demon without a tragic backstory I want to fight them. Apparently most people think that children who grow up in cults aren’t traumatized at all and grow into rational and well-adjusted adults. 

Doma is a character who shows no signs of empathy. However, he was a character who was never taught or shown any signs of empathy before. By the time he was an indpendenent adult he gave up on understanding it. Doma despises the cult, but it’s telling that he always stays there because it’s truly all he knows. He laughs at the people who come to the cult to distract themselves from the misfortunes of their life, but Doma too stays with the cult as a distraction for how empty and small his own life is. 

Doma really was too mature for a child, but also too immature as well. He was forced to grow up too fast because neither of his parents actively wanted to parent him. People act like he’s a born sociopath for being observant enough as a kid to notice that the all the adults who entered into his life were only there to use him. Kids are sharper than you expect, but also duller as well. Doma never realized that life was any different outside of his environment. He stayed in that childish mindset forever, and egocentric little kid who only saw himself first and foremost. That’s not the thinking of a sociopath, it’s the thinking of a child, children can’t imagine viewpoints other than their own because they haven’t developed empathy yet. 

There’s this assumption that people are either born good empathic people, or they’re not, but empathy is a quality that’s developed and learned. It was almost natural Doma became a demon by the end because not a single person in his life treated him as a human. Yet, despite reveling in being a monster Doma is still desperately searching for some meaning in his life too. He wants to have friends. He wants to feel the same way that other people. Even if it’s just a hollow imitation on his part, that was something in his lifetime but never got even up until the end. Doma’s this tragedy of empathy, because all he ever wanted was to feel the same way that everyone else did, to have the same connections they did, but because he was so isolated he only destroyed every small chance he did have at learning to empathize with another person. 

2. Shinobu -“Yes I’m angry, Tanjiro. I’ve always been angry.” 

I think Shinobu is interesting because she’s a bad person. I wish people would stop trying to paint her as a wholly good person who was loved by everyone around her. Shinobu’s character introduction is going out of her way to unnecessarily torture a demon for fun, and her attitude implies she has done this before. Torture is a universally bad thing, even if you’re doing it to a bad person. 

I’m not trying to moralize Shinobu. I think she’s much more interesting this way, as a fundamentally flawed person. A cracked vase that can never truly be full. Yes, Shinobu is loved by a lot of people, but she’s also fundamentally unable to receive that love. She’s stopped living a long time ago, part of her stopped when her aprents died, and she gave up when her sister died. If Kimetsu no Yaiba were a more morally complicated story, Shinobu existing for the sole purpose of revenge would not be treated as a good thing. It’s an empty way of living, and the only thing Shinobu can do to keep living is to cling to all of the ugly and negative emotions inside of her. 

The most interesting version of Shinobu is just rotten at her core, because she’s let the rot sink in and fester, because she doesn’t want to let go of her anger towards demons. It’s rare female characters are allowed to be filled with such ugly emotions, or allowed to express them in terrible ways. Shinobu plays games at being a healer, at being a person capable of nurturing like her older sister, but it’s just an empty imitation that falls flat. Shinobu at least in regards to herself doesn’t want to heal, she doesn’t want to get better, she wants to stay wounded forever so she can keep taking out her pain on the demons around her. 

I like to think that when she summoned up a hallucination of her sister in her final moments to encourage herself, that was entirely a fabrication on her part. Shinobu wanted to imagine her sister who once told her to just quit the Demon Corps and find a way to live and be happy was just as angry as she was. Shinobu’s delusion of Kanae is a sister that validates her and tells her that she has to be angry, that she has to stand up and fight again, that there’s strength in this. And that’s exactly it, Shinobu at her very core wants to be strong. She hates being powerless and weak. I think Shinobu is at her best when her anger isn’t righteous. She doesn’t want to protect others - she wants to feel strong. 

3. Iguro Obanai - “I want to defeat Muzan and die. I hope that will cleanse my corrupted blood. If we reincarnate as humans in a world without demons I will definitely tell you that I love you.” 

I like how Iguro is nasty, and unpleasant, and also mean to the main character for really petty reasons. Shinobu’s trauma is easier for a lot of people to swallow because she doesn’t show it, she just puts on a mask of being nice and people buy into that mask. Iguro even though he wears a physical mask over his mouth is less good at hiding his disfigurement. 

Iguro’s very traumatized and he acts that way. He’s anti-social. He’s withdrawn. He doesn’t get along well with others. He’s prone to violent outbursts. The scars left with Iguro are so deep they’re permanent. And I believe it’s because down to his core, Iguro believes himself to be a bad and selfish person for surviving while half of his family died, and thinking only of himself with his escape. 

It’s not really his cursed blood that Iguro wants to escape from, but rather his trauma. He can’t find a way to live with his truama or accept himself so he seeks some escape with it by suicidally charging into battle. And that’s another thing that speaks to the permanency of his scars. Iguro is deeply in love with one person, but he can’t admit, or accept that love because he views the current iteration of himself as so unlovable. 

He can neither give or receive love, and yet there’s some small part of Iguro that wants to heal. He wants to feel okay again. I think there is a part of Iguro that is very selfish. The way he acts towards Mitsuri isn’t really romantic, his protectiveness and jealousy are signs of entitlement. However, the thing is traumatized people do end up feeling entitled to happiness. Iguro’s so terrified of losing Mitsuri because she’s the one good thing in his life, and because of that he’s unable to love her in a healthy way. 

Even if Iguro’s given up on himself and decided that he’s poison, unlike Shinobu I see that there’s some part of Iguro that genuinely wants to heal. He wants to feel like a good person, he wants to find someway to continue living, its just he thinks it’s impossible for him to. Iguro’s desire to die and be reborn is so compelling that I actually want to see him live and be forced to deal with the prospect of his slow healing rather than getting his wish to be redeemed by death. 

4. Sanemi Shinazugawa - “My Nemi is the kindest…” 

Tanjiro as a character is kind in a way that’s easy to digest. When he’s angry it’s always righteous anger. His kindness never becomes a difficult. Tanjiro never does anything that’s difficult to swallow. That’s okay, but it’s also not that deep. 

Sanemi’s kindness and his anger are both a part of him. His cruelty does not detract from how kind he is, his kindness doesn’t excuse his cruelty. Sanemi is driven to act cruel, to be merciless, to be vicious not because he doesn’t care about people but he cares too much and the loss of almost everyone he’s loved in his life disfigures him permanently. 

Sanemi is a little kid who hunted demons all on his own for years by letting them fight him until he bled. He always fights by intentionally harming himself, hence why he shows his scars at all time and makes no attempt to hide them. Sanemi as a person is damaged to his core, but he still retains that kindness because it’s a part of who he is. 

Sanemi is angry because he’s kind. He’s violent because he’s kind. He’s so afraid of losing others again, the only way he knows how to be with them is to protect others from afar. Sanemi thinks he can abuse his brother, but as long as he protects him from demons from a distance it will all be okay in the end. 

What I like about Sanemi’s narrative is that it wasn’t. His actions ended up hurting his brother far more than helping him, the more distance he put between them, the more Genya threw himself into harm to get his brother to acknowledge him. At the end everything Sanemi did to protect him amounted to nothing, and Sanemi is the one protected and comforted by his brother when he should have been the one taking care of him. I think the author rushed to the tragic ending rather than letting the characters developed to get there, but still there’s an interesting choice that Sanemi is the one to survive and not Genya. Sanemi who has always wanted to just go off and die somewhere eaten by a demon while his brother gets to live happily. Now Sanemi’s never going to fix things with that brother, and nothing he can do will make up for what he did to Genya. However, he still has to find a way to keep living for himself. Watching broken people trying to find a way to keep on living is the primary reason why I read fiction in the first place. 

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

Can you do one of your metas on Elena, her strengths, flaws and why you (and I!) still like her despite the fact that many understandably don't?!

Yes! Thank you so much for sending this in. I love any opportunity I get to talk about and defend Elena, because I think she’s such an unfairly hated/disliked character.

I actually wrote a very in-depth meta about Elena before here, but since I did it a couple of years ago now some of my opinions and thoughts have changed since then. What I speak about in the sections about Elena being a Mary Sue and her strengths and weaknesses are still what I think, so it’s particularly worth reading that, because that’s relevant to this question.

The thing is with Elena is, yes, she’s a flawed character, but characters should be flawed because human beings are flawed. Elena’s flaws are exactly what make her relatable and real. Based on what I’ve seen in fandom over the years the main reasons people seem to dislike Elena are because she’s selfish, a Mary Sue or undeveloped as character. In my previous meta I explained why she’s not a Mary Sue, and I stand by that. As for the selfish part, I agree with it wholeheartedly. Elena is selfish, but who isn’t? I don’t understand disliking or hating on a character based on their selfishness because selfishness is a natural human trait that is instilled in all of us. In fact, most of us have to actively try to not be selfish and to be more considerate of others, because we’re naturally hard-wired to think of ourselves first. I would argue that Elena isn’t anymore selfish than any other character on the show and that rather than selfishness, it’d probably be more accurate to refer to it as self-centredness. And you might think those two words mean the same, but to me, selfishness is actively choosing to put your own well-being above others at the detriment of those around you. Self-centredness is a tendency to think about yourself first and to be oblivious to the impact that has on others around you. So, I’d say that Elena was self-centred rather than selfish. She had a tendency to think about how she felt and how things affected her and wasn’t always able to see how others around her were feeling or how they may be affected. The claim that Elena was undeveloped is also a valid argument. I like Elena but even I’m not blind to the incredibly poor characterisation and development she had. I understand the writers intentions with Elena, but unfortunately, it didn’t really work. It felt like Elena never really went beyond her original character profile. It’s like the writers sat down in a room and decided the core traits they wanted her to have in the pilot episode and season 1, but they never really went beyond that. So for me, a big part of the reason I like Elena is because of the potential her character had and the fact that I feel like she’s unfairly hated, as I’ve already mentioned.

Overall, I really don’t think Elena was that flawed, except for her self-centredness and indecisiveness. The biggest flaw of her character was the inconsistent writing that failed to fully build upon her as a character or explore her nuances and sacrificed her characterisation and development for the sake of her romantic relationship. I think that over the years people have exaggerated her flaws in open rebellion against the writers who plugged Elena as this wonderful, selfless heroine whom everyone worshipped and adored. Whenever there’s a character like that people deliberately search for their flaws. This kind of writing also tends to turns people off the character and instead they start to root for the ‘underdog’ or the character that is sidelined (in this case, Bonnie and/or Caroline). So a big part of the problem with Elena’s character comes from the writing and the way in which the narrative constantly centred on her, put her on a pedestal and tried to push her as being special, which people begrudge.

Ironically, the reason I love Elena is because I don’t think she was special. She was just a very normal girl who wanted what most teenagers want - to get through high school, have fun with her friends and live some semblance of an ordinary life with happy moments in between. She wasn’t perfect, she wasn’t special, she was just a girl that tried her best in impossible situations. She didn’t always make the best decisions and she wasn’t always the embodiment of empathy and compassion, but she showed amazing strength and resilience in the face of adversity. Time and time again she experienced tremendous traumas but she dealt with them as best she could, and in the process remained an optimistic and kind soul. Her resilience was undoubtedly her biggest strength. It still astounds me that Elena was able to overcome so much pain and trauma. 

When people criticise Elena’s character, I think they fail to consider that although we’re not explicitly told it Elena consistently exhibited signs of depression. She explicitly said that after her parents death she didn’t want to live, she stopped enjoying her hobbies such as writing and cheer leading, but most significantly, she displayed reckless behaviours and suicidal tendencies. Unfortunately, her suicidal tendencies have been brushed off as being acts of “sacrifice” to save those she loved. I’m not saying they weren’t sacrifices, but her willingness to die was not normal for someone with a healthy mindset. I would die to save someone I love, but it wouldn’t be an easy decision. And perhaps that makes me sound like a terrible person, but I don’t want to die. I have a strong desire and instinct to live and sacrificing my life for someone I love is something I’d do, but I’d be absolutely terrified and heartbroken. However, when Elena was faced with the possibility of her own death, she didn’t seem to care. She passed it off as “I’m doing it to protect the people I love”, but whether that was true or not it doesn’t change the fact that she was going to die. The way Buffy reacted to finding out she was going to die is exactly how I would expect a teenager to react to receiving that kind of devastating news (x). Elena never reacted like this at the prospect of dying. In fact, when she died in 3x22 she seemed at peace, as though she was okay with the fact that she was dying. Afterwards when she woke up in transition she literally said, “I was ready to die”. It’s strange, because I always accepted that Elena didn’t want to be a vampire and that she was heartbroken at the start of season 4, but on reflection it doesn’t make sense. Elena has been around vampires and she knew that although it has it’s cons, she could still have a relatively normal life. Plus, she had a support network around her, particularly Caroline who had literally gone through the process of becoming a vampire two years previously and who had adapted to it brilliantly. I look back now and the only explanation I have for Elena’s reaction to becoming a vampire is that she wanted to die. Lets not forget that a few episodes later in 4x06 she tried to kill herself. She was under the influence of the Hunters curse, but all the curse did is bring her own self-loathing and suicidal thoughts to the forefront. And notice how in her relationships with Stefan and Damon she made some sort of reference to how they provided her with a reason to live. About Stefan: “After my parents died I kind of felt like I didn’t know how to live anymore. Like I didn’t want to. But then being with Stefan, somehow I just figured it out. And that’s what love should be. You should love the person that makes you glad that you’re alive.” About Damon: “ I’m not sorry that I met you. I’m not sorry that knowing you has made me question everything, that in death you’re the one that made me feel most alive.” Elena actively searched for something to live for in her relationships with Stefan and Damon, which just demonstrates to me that outside of those relationships she felt she has no reason to live. That’s hardly healthy and also explains why her relationship with Damon became so intense in seasons 5 and 6 to the point that she described him as being the one that defined her and felt that she couldn’t live without him. 

I could continue assessing this aspect of Elena but it’ll get too long. The point is that Elena endured a lot of hurt and trauma and people crap on her for some of the shitty decisions she made (none of which are really that bad, they’re just generic incidents of self-involvement that we’re all guilty of) without taking into account the context of her character or her mental state. Even the fact that she entered into relationships with vampires as a human is indicative of self-destructive tendencies. Regardless of the humanistic qualities Stefan and Damon had, the fact that they were vampires was obviously only going to bring strife to Elena’s life, but she disregarded that and chose to be with them anyway. Elena had a lot of deep-rooted emotional issues that she didn’t really ever get to deal with because every time she tried to make progress and heal something else traumatic happened to her. People don’t want to accept that Elena was a victim because the narrative placed her as the victim, and it pisses people off, but whether you like her or not she was a victim. Almost everything that happened to and around Elena was as a result of what she was (the doppelganger) or who she was connected to (Katherine, Stefan and Damon primarily) rather than her own decisions or actions.

She was also a victim of the writing. I don’t want to bring ships into this too much because that’s a separate issue, but Elena’s entire characterisation was sacrificed for the benefit of her relationship with Damon. The writers had to change her in certain ways to make that relationship work and instead of Elena having the kind of development we generally expect characters to have (whereby they change for the better), she actually regressed as a character. Elena’s entire character was built around the idea of her being compassionate, empathetic and nurturing, and being a good friend, girlfriend and sister, but all of that immediately became null and void when she got into a relationship with Damon. How could we believe that Elena was compassionate and a good friend/sister when she willingly entered into a relationship with a man who abused and raped her best friend (Caroline), murdered her brother in front of her and kidnapped and threatened him later on in the series, brutally attacked her other best friend (Bonnie), murdered Vicki and turned her into a vampire and killed Aaron. Those are just the bad things Damon did to Elena’s friends and family that I can recall from the top of my head. And this is also a core aspect of Elena’s character that people have a problem with - her entire characterisation no longer stands when she gets into a relationship with Damon. No matter how much the writers tried to tell us post season 4 that Elena was a kind, selfless and caring person, friend and sister, being with Damon automatically invalidated all of that. For Elena to make sense as a character and exist in that relationship, they had to completely re-establish her entire personality and core traits and the writers couldn’t be bothered to do that so just swept it under the rug. The problem is that fans don’t turn a blind eye to things like that they notice it.

So the big question here is why do you, and I, and others still like Elena? Well, I can only speak for myself, but I like Elena because (prior to season 4) she was a genuinely sweet and kind-hearted person that was relatable and had lots of potential but that was done a great injustice by the writing. Elena could’ve been one of the best loved characters of all time if the writers had known how to handle her, but they lost her character amidst the triangle drama and her relationships with the Salvatore brothers (honestly, I think if the triangle didn’t exist, Elena would’ve immediately been a more well-liked character generally). She didn’t do anything to warrant the terrible things that happened to her and has been consistently bashed by fans who nit-pick the minor examples of self-centredness she displayed and overlook all the kindness she showed and the hardships she endured. The horrendous traumas she suffered through have been glossed over but honestly, as a 17 year old girl that went through everything she did, she showed incredible strength and resilience. For that alone, I cannot do anything but love Elena Gilbert.

Also, as a side-note, on a more personal level, I relate to Elena a lot as a character that’s considered flat and boring and that people see as lacking in conviction. I’m always very insecure that I’m dull, that there’s nothing interesting about me and that people will find it difficult to like me or connect to me because I’m a very neutral character. I also worry because I don’t have a specific path in mind for my future or one thing that I’m passionate about and want to dedicate my life to. And I feel like people a lot of people in real life really are like this. Not every single person in the world is super deep and multi-layered with really well-defined personalities. Not everyone is fun, vibrant, charming and charismatic. Likewise, a lot of people don’t know exactly what they want out of life (in fact, I’d argue people who know what they want are in the minority of people). A lot of people are just dull and ‘ordinary’ and don’t have their lives mapped out. We have this tendency to analyse characters based on their traits, their strengths, weaknesses, hobbies, desires, fears etc. which is fun and I love to do it, but real people are more complex than that. If I asked people that know me to describe my core personality they probably wouldn’t be able to (hell, I don’t even think I’d be able to!), because you can never really articulate the essence of what a person is no matter how hard you try. People are contradictory and personalities, feelings, thoughts, morals, beliefs etc. are very changeable. There are core aspects to who we are, but people can change the way they think or behave or what they believe all the time depending upon circumstances and experiences. Elena may not necessarily have a core personality or characterisation that is maintained across the series, but in a strange way, that makes her more human to me than any other character. And I relate so much to the way that Elena never really knows what to do when it comes to making important life decisions. It’s important to remember when analysing Elena that despite Nina looking (and being) older than 17, Elena is supposed to be a 17 year old girl. Most teenagers that age don’t have a clue who they are, what they want or who they want and are just living day to day and seeing where life takes them. That’s exactly what Elena did and since she “made it” it gives me hope that I will one day too.

Thank you so much for asking, lovely! I tried to keep this short, but I have a lot of thoughts and feelings when it comes to Elena. Hopefully I made sense, because I felt like a lot of this was very muddled and explained terribly.

[ceruleanchillin]

We Shouldn’t

John Marston x F!Reader

Note -  *spoilers* : not too heavy, but still worth the warning if you haven’t finished the game or played at all

I hope this is ok anon, I tweaked it a bit.

Not meant to bash Abigail, but……

I like her, but I don’t like her with John. To me, the character flaws I dislike about both of them shine brightest when they’re together. (which is a testament to outstanding writing on Rockstar’s part imho, because that’s how some couples are🤷🏾‍♀️)

That being said. Smut-ish

“Don’t act sour to me John Marston, you’re the one who wanted to come town today. I don’t believe I asked!” Abigail yanked her coat from the back of the chair she’d dined in.

Abigail was the only person John knew who could fuss and function at the same time with no trouble. No pausing what she was doing, she didn’t even take a breath, just fussed and functioned. He’d known that for a while he supposed, but it didn’t make it any easier to listen to.

“Keep your voice down.” John hissed, glancing around in hopes no one heard them.

The heat of embarrassment crept from his neck to the tips of his ears, when he noticed several patrons had heard them.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” she snapped. “I was fine til’ you tried to tell me what I could eat.”

“I wasn’t telling you what you could eat, I was just sayin-”

“I swear, if you bring up that goddamn loan again…” she was all screwed lips and narrowed eyes, and he knew to end the discussion there. That, or risk a historical event the likes of which rivaled the Blackwater Massacre.

He slipped his pocket watch from his suit jacket, and glanced down at it. “If we’re going to make that show, we should leave now.”

“Oh It’s across the street, don’t act like it’s a river away.” she stalked past him, only to turn back and look at him. “Well? The show ain’t going to wait for you.”

“Fine.” he bit out, hands shoving the watch back into his pocket.

“Fine.” she fired back, shoving through the door.

He followed her rushed footsteps as he tried to piece together what had gone wrong. It started out nice enough. They’d been in a weird cycle that was 90 percent fighting, and 10 percent awkward silences. He thought their last date had gone well, and that they were long due for another. He’d set things up for dinner, a show, and an evening in one of the nicer hotels in town. He’d even steeled himself for the high possibility she might want to dance. It was all too clear to him, at that point, how the rest of the evening would play out.

He told her of the surprise a week in advance, and she nearly crowned him king in her excitement. Then over the week leading up to it, the arguments had started. Snapping at each other over little things, slamming doors, petty jabs, etc.

A crowd had to started to gather in the cobblestone streets, and it was concentrated around the theater. He tried to stay close to Abigail, but also leave a bit of distance, because he could feel how tense she was. His mind was racing for ways to calm her down, and salvage the rest of the evening. He glanced around main street in pursuit of in an idea.

“You have enough to pay for the show? You know, since you tightened the purse strings at dinner.”

He fought the urge to roll his eyes, and instead exhaled his frustration. “Sorry your highness, I just didn’t want everyone to know about my newfound status as an oil baron.”

Abigail bristled, and let loose on him. He just nodded solemnly letting her fuss. He returned to scanning the area around them, no longer looking for another activity, but a distraction to focus on.

As if he willed you into existence, your laughter caught his attention. Ahead of him, you stood in line with two other women. In the fading daylight, the street lights became the dominant light source, and it was like they all choose to focus on you. Or maybe it felt that way, because he couldn’t look away.

He’d met you during the period when Abigail left him, and things for them had been up in the air. You were the personal assistant of an eccentric author, and his travels brought you to Blackwater. Your boss tasked you with helping him research the life of a cowboy, and you’d found yourself sitting in the Blackwater Saloon interviewing prospects. John had only taken a seat out of pure shock that someone would pay just to hear someone talk. Turns out that it was a little more than that, you wanted to also observe him in action, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t manage.

You documented the course of building his ranch, and jotted down the parts of his life he felt were pertinent. You made the dreary work ahead of him much more tolerable, and even Uncle and Charles enjoyed your company. He realized he started looking forward to your visits. He learned you felt the same when you brought him dinner, and kissed him over it.

That started the thing between you two, that neither of you named, but both thoroughly enjoyed. He had thought of Abigail and Jack, but he pushed them out of his head when he remembered it was a possibility they would even come back. You were real, you were there, and so were his feelings for you.

Charles has been kind enough not to say anything. Uncle wasn’t quite so polite, but a few threats of violence shut him up. He should’ve done it sooner though, because Uncle had ripped into you about being a homewrecker, and that time he had hit him. Knocked him clean under the table.

To his surprise, you didn’t have much of a reaction beyond laughing at Uncle. You’d told him you figured that, because of the specifications of the home, and the way he jumped around in interviews. You two sat down for a long conversation about it, in which he came clean about everything, and he thought it’d be over after that. It wasn’t.

It wasn’t over until he woken up to find you’d come to the farm early on, and dropped his last payment off with Charles. Your letter was short, powerful, and scented with vanilla. He’d carried it around protectively, until Abigail returned, and it started burning a hole in his pocket. He thought that’d been the end if it, but you were back.

“You’re unbelievable,” Abigail was staring at him with force of death behind her gaze. “Can you even pretend they ain’t got your attention?”

John realized he must’ve been staring at you, and Abigail caught him. The line had thinned, and they were not able to enter the theater at least.

“They’re young, you think they’ll put up with you? They’re probably not stupid enough to get stuck like I did.”

“Would you just go inside?”

“No problem.” She pushed past the few people in front of her, and marched past the ticket counter. “That jackass with the scars is paying!”

For the second time that night, a bevy of disapproving looks fell upon him. He scowled and faced them back, eyes scanning faces until they fell on yours.

You were looking at him with a strange combination of shock and pity. He hated you looking at him with any sort of sympathy, but who could blame you? You looked like you wanted to say something to him, but before you could, your friends dragged you inside and he released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

—-

The show itself was rather uneventful. For him at least, because the room around him couldn’t stop erupting in emotion if it became law. He knew it was because he was upset, and Abigail shooting him dirty looks in the dark didn’t help. His plans were shot, and now he was filled with emotions tied to you. Luck never had been fond of him, he supposed.

His eyes glanced up at the balcony you were sitting in, only to find you rising from your seat and disappearing behind the curtain. On instinct, he rose too, muttering something he wasn’t aware of to Abigail. He didn’t wait for her response, if she even gave him one. All he knew was he had to speak to you.

He stumbled out into the lobby, eyes trained on the door he knew led up to the balcony you were in. He took the few seconds he had to run a hand through his hair, and straighten his tie. Yes, John Marston was primping. No, he’d never tell another living soul.

You breezed through the door, and his mouth went dry. You were heading for the concession counter, which was opposite of where he was standing. He walked after you, longer legs allowing him to catch up quickly.

You gasped when you realized he was next to you, your body giving a jerk in response to being frightened.

“Sorry,” he raised his hands and chuckled. “Stay in your skin, it’s too pretty to leave behind.”

“Go to hell Marston, the play already gave me a start.” You pressed a hand to your chest, and he fought not stare at the ample cleavage on display.

Instead, he focused on your words, and realized he hadn’t known what the play was about. Not beyond the vague description he’d read in the paper when he was planning to go anyways. It occurred to him how out of it he must’ve been for that, and he felt a sense of dread at the thought of going back.

“What are you doing here? You know there’s a singing portion coming up right?” You started moving again, and he followed along.

“A fella can’t take in a nice...musical…experience every now and again?”

You laughed with your whole body, he loved that. “Yes, a fella can. But not a John Marston.”

He chuckled. “Ok, that’s an astute observation Miss (L/N).”

“My my John, when you clean up, you clean up.” You gave him an impressed once over, and turned to face the counter. “Can I have the assorted hard candy please.”

“I’ll pay.” He was reaching for his money clip before he’d even said it.

“Oh no,” you shook your head. “I really shouldn’t even be having any. I appreciate it-“

He handed over the dollar, ignoring your pleas. “I want to. Can’t forget it was you that sat that golden opportunity in my lap.”

“Well thank you then. It was my pleasure though...in every sense.” You gave a coy grin that went straight to his groin, and thanked the man at the counter.

“Wait, don’t go.” He grasped your upper arm, careful not hurt you.

You glanced back at him, and tilted your head in question. “I should get back, my friends will worry.”

“Can I,” he paused, cursing himself for not picking up the ability for pretty words like he did shooting from Dutch. “Let me just talk to you.”

The both of you glanced at the man at the counter, who only barely pretended not to be listening.

“Over there.” He nodded to a hallway off the lobby, and gently pulled you after him.

“John,” you paused in your words when he backed you into a wall. “We should make this easy and just cut it loose.”

He pressed his forehead against yours. “Baby, our situation is anything but easy.”

You sighed, and brought a hand up to stroke his scarred cheek. “Your wife is in there, probably waiting on you.”

“She’s probably hoping I got trampled in the street.”

“I would’ve said no to that before I saw her tonight. She’s kind of awful.” You lowered your voice like you didn’t want to admit it, but you had to say it anyways.

He saw that sympathetic look return in your eyes, and he felt ashamed under you gaze.

“I’m kind of awful too.” He admitted reluctantly, but he wasn’t comfortable being painted in an innocent light.

“I suppose,” you sighed, and when you pressed your lips to his scarred cheek again, he held on to you tightly.

He gave into the back of his mind, and started moving on instinct. The shudder you gave when his lips found your neck only served to fuel him on. You were trying to come up with weak excuses, but your actions contradict them. Your hands found his back, and gripped it in a way that called to mind how many scratches you’d left there.

It wasn’t hard to recall how carefree you two had been on his ranch. All you had to do was dodge a non-intrusive friend, and an old drunk. You may as well have been alone.

“John.” Your voice came out a messy combination of a gasp and a moan, as you cupped his neck. “What are you doing?”

“Something nice if you’ll let me.”

“Wha-“

Your next words died on your lips when he slipped under your dress.

“John have you lost your-” A few seconds later he felt your hands gripping the back of his head through the material, and a low moan fell from your lips.

He focused completely on your pleasure. A way to say thank you, for not letting him get swept away in a sea of dread. A way to say sorry, that he couldn’t whisk you away like you wanted him to, and like he so badly wanted. He could give you this though, and as your nails pressed through material and into his scalp, he hoped that’d be enough for the moment.