#eddie had a terrible relationship with his wife and abandoned his kid for years

[amerie-wadia]

.

[satashiiwrites]

Valentine’s Day Fic Preview

Well… Grammerly appears to be glitching for me tonight so no editing was done.  I’m hoping to start posting this sometime next week (ha!) and stay on task to get done by the middle of February.  

Someone tell my muse to quit adding subplots.  

Anyways, this is still draft 2.0 version of this. 

Title: Sleepless in LA

Fandom: 911

Pairing: Eventual endgame Buddie, mentioned Buck/Abby, Eddie/Shannon, Eddie/Ana, and Buck/Ali

Fic Summary:  

Navigating the aftermath of Shannon’s death, Eddie never thought he’d be a widower by age thirty-two and raising a kid on his own without any help. When Christopher calls in to one of those late night talk radio shows asking how to help his Dad, Eddie realizes that he needs to try and move on for Christopher’s sake so he reluctantly starts dating what everyone tells him is the perfect woman  for someone like him. 

It turns out Christopher and he have much different ideas of just who they need.

 Buck has had a terrible year.  His physical injuries from the truck bombing were bad enough but having Ali leave him seems like a sign from the universe that he’s always meant to be alone. Listening to the radio at night, he hears the most adorable kid ever talking about how his Dad is sad and needs a new partner—LA kids are pretty progressive and this Christopher kid isn’t particular if his Dad ends up with a woman or a man. It almost gives him hope but who would want to date a firefighter who can’t help anyone?

A chance encounter on a pier, a natural disaster, and a promise made to meet up at the Griffith Park Observatory on Valentine’s Day brings together two soulmates who in another life would have met very differently. 

tags: second-ish draft. Heavily inspired by Sleepless in Seattle, Alternative Universe (Eddie doesn’t join the 118) with alternative first meeting, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, grief, angst, set vaguely in season 3, misunderstanding/assumed death (not really dead), we’re not purposefully going to bash any other canon relationship, timeline what timeline?

I must be a mermaid.  I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living—Anais Nin

They buried Shannon on a Tuesday—she’d died the previous Thursday. Everything had moved at lightning speed since then, except when time slowed to a painful crawl designed to hold Eddie in this new hell he found himself in.  His parents had arrived Saturday, and his mother had a comment for everything, like a leaky faucet. 

Drip.  How could she leave him again?

Drip.  Well, she had abandoned them first, and this was just a pattern of bad behavior…

Drip.  It was terrible that all of Shannon’s family was dead and wouldn’t be at the funeral to mourn her. 

Drip. Drip. Drip. 

A continuous, poisonous litany that made him want to scream in rage at the world until it all just stopped hurting. 

Eddie had loved her—still did love her. Didn’t he?  She was the mother of his son—the best kid ever.  He would die without Christopher and she’d given him to Eddie. 

Never mind the divorce she’d asked for when he’d taken her out with plans on rekindling their relationship fully only a few days earlier. 

Never mind how hard he’d been trying. 

Still—Shannon had been his wife.  He’d loved her even though it was complicated.  She was Christopher’s mother.  No matter what had happened before she hadn’t been planning on leaving them both by dying. 

(Even if she had been leaving him again.  Divorce felt permanent…)

LA in March was sunny like always even if he felt like the storm cloud around his head was doing nothing but pour out the flood of tears he couldn’t seem to let fall down his cheeks.  

He had Christopher to think of and be strong for and protect. 

Eddie held onto Chris as they both tried to hold it together, ignoring the discomfort of new dress shoes and a too tight shirt collar underneath the too warm suit jacket he’d bought so they’d both match as his mother had insisted on.  They’d spent too much on them and he’d already mentally swore to never make Chris or himself wear them again. 

The priest finished the brief prayer and encouraged Eddie and Chris to step forward to make a last goodbye.   The thorns had been cut off the rose stem but it was still pricking his fingers as he was holding it too tight.  Chris buried his nose in the blood red flower petals, taking a deep sniff before kissing the rose and then throwing it to rest on the casket lid. Eddie followed suit, curling his arm around Chris who was clinging to his side like he was afraid Eddie would fall in and join Shannon in her grave. 

Stepping aside after a moment, he lifted Chris into his arms. Chris was getting a bit too big to do this but they both needed it right now.  The small nose that tucked into his neck to hide from the rest of their family let loose a few sniffles and the too-tight collar was getting wet but he ignored it and rocked side to side as the rest of his family and his entire shift of coworkers placed flowers into the grave then lined up to express their condolences for his loss.

A sad smile and nod of understanding from his captain—Ronnie Cooper. Lena grimaced as she stepped up and gave him a bone crushing hug while stroking her hand down Chris’ back with a soft, ‘if you need anything—anything at all you call me.’  Logan, Calley and Stover fumbled their way through variations of ‘Sorry for your loss’ with their girlfriends hanging awkwardly on their arms. Stover was twice divorced but thought he might try marriage again with his current girlfriend who looked a bit wide-eyed at being introduced to the rest of the station at a funeral.  Logan and Calley went through relationships like tissue paper but were good guys, their dates appropriately subdued to match the mood. 

Eventually, though, it was just him and his family lingering around the gravesite.  

“Eddie,” his mom called gently, her hand resting on his elbow as she urged him to start walking towards the car. “The funeral luncheon will be starting shortly.”

Funeral luncheon. Abuela was hosting it because he was too much of a disaster in the kitchen to even think of hosting it.  Never mind how disorganized he’d been about arranging everything else. 

Shannon hadn’t even been catholic but they’d had the funeral done that way because his mother had insisted and Eddie hadn’t had the energy to argue with her about it. A mass followed by a prayer before the burial and then a luncheon to follow where everyone would eat Abuela’s best recipes that could be made in large enough quantities fast. 

“Do we just leave Mom here?” Chris’ voice cracked and warbled, his hands tightening into tiny fists in Eddie’s shirt.  

“Oh Mijo,” Eddie said, trying to tuck Chris’ head back into his neck but Chris was fighting him and wanted to be let down. 

“We can’t just leave her here!”     

“She’s not here,” Eddie tried to soothe his distraught son.  “Your Mom’s gone to heaven.”

“How do you know?” Chris asked, eyes glassy with distress. 

“Because your Mom loved us,” Eddie said.  “And when you love that much, sometimes heaven needs you.”

“But we need her!”

“I know Mijo.  Mom’s watching over both of us now—all the time.  From heaven.”

In response, Chris just thumped him in the chest with his small fists as he cried into Eddie’s neck. The absolute sobs of despair wracked his thin frame, fighting his grief physically as well as emotionally. 

It was heart breaking and all Eddie could do was hold him. 

“I’m here, Mijo” he whispered, over and over again as his heart broke one more time.  “I’m here.”

[gwendolynnderolo]

my thoughts on the lawsuit arc: my 911 hot take of the day

i know the lawsuit arc is one of the most controversial storylines in all of 911 and everyone has wildly different opinions on it so i’m here to offer my take on it. this is just my opinion and how i view the characters so enjoy!

first of all, i feel like a lot of times if people love a character they get mad when the character does something they don’t agree with or that they think is wrong or selfish or harmful. and while it can be very hard to see a character that you love do things that aren’t good, that’s what makes a character interesting. if a character was perfect and never did anything wrong, they would be incredibly boring and one-dimensional. but instead of looking critically at character choices and analyzing their motivations and accepting that they’re a flawed character with complex emotions they often just get angry and say that a storyline was dumb or didn’t make sense because it didn’t fit with their view of the character.

this is what i’ve seen a lot of people do with buck, bobby, and the lawsuit arc. they say that both of them acted recklessly and impulsively and handled the situation terribly, and i’m here to say: yes, they did, and that’s the entire point.

the entire lawsuit arc revolves around all of these characters making all the wrong decisions, but with very valid and understandable motivations behind those decisions. neither of them acted like their best selves because they weren’t being their best selves. they weren’t acting out of logic, they were acting out of raw emotion and that led them to make stupid decisions that caused a lot of pain. and that’s a good thing. (for the story, not for the characters obviously)

let’s first look at bobby, who arguably was the catalyst for this whole situation (technically it was the truck bombing, but i’m talking season 3). the end of season 2 sees bobby being forced to deal with his traumatic past and relive the deaths of his wife and children and all of the people in that apartment building that he felt responsible for. he has his title and job stripped away, he’s taken away from the thing that provides him with healthy coping mechanisms, and then he’s forced to watch from the sidelines while the man he thinks of as a son is trapped under a ladder truck that was intended to kill bobby.

obviously bobby gets his job back, buck survives, and everything’s relatively okay at the end of season 2, but bobby still has that guilt on top of the guilt he’s been dealing with for years over his wife and kids. beginning of season 3, bobby is tentatively ready to welcome buck back, and then he watches buck almost die in front of him (again) and, understandably, panics. he tells buck he’s not ready to come back and buck lashes out and quits.

bobby watches buck almost die yet again during the tsunami, which he almost certainly blamed himself for, feeling that if he had let buck come back to work, buck wouldn’t have gotten caught in the tsunami.

buck obviously comes around and takes the fire marshal job, which bobby viewed as a way to let buck do what he wants while still protecting him. bobby blames himself for everything that’s happened to buck in the past six months, so of course he’s going to do everything he can to keep buck safe.

so, bobby lied to him and kept him from doing what he loved, because he didn’t know another way to keep buck safe. the concerns bobby raises even outside of his personal investment are very valid: buck is on blood thinners, which would make it significantly more dangerous for buck to be on a call. bobby already worries about buck constantly and this would only add another level to that, and he has an entire team to look out for.

and the most important thing: bobby blames himself for everything that’s happened to buck. if he allowed buck to come back and buck got hurt, bobby would blame himself. bobby has already lost so much and still blames himself, and he doesn’t think he can handle another loss like the one he’s already suffered. his actions come from a place of love and concern for buck and his safety.

and now for buck. i relate a lot to buck so there might be a bit of projecting in here but i’ll do my best to keep it impartial. to start off: what buck did was stupid, impulsive, selfish, and ended up hurting everyone he cared about. but it also makes complete sense when you look at it from his point of view.

as viewers of the show, we see the complete picture. we see every point of view, all of the thought processes behind character decisions, so it’s much easier for us to judge characters for their decisions. but we have to remember: buck did not have the full story. buck couldn’t see into bobby’s head and understand that this was coming from a place of love and a desire to protect.

all buck saw was the people he cared about abandoning him and thinking he wasn’t capable enough to do his job. this wasn’t at all what happened, but from his point of view that’s what it seemed like. and when you look at the situation from buck’s point of view, this starts to make a lot of sense.

end of season 2, buck gets crushed by a ladder truck and nearly dies. in an instant, his job, his normal life, and everything he cares about is ripped away from him. his girlfriend breaks up with him (not blaming ali, she had her reasons) which was just another person that left him, so he feels completely and utterly alone.

in the 5 months between season 2 and season 3, buck worked tirelessly to get better and get to the point where he could get back to being a firefighter, which he views as his entire life and the only thing that gives him purpose. he finally gets to where he can come back, and it’s all ripped away from him again when he nearly dies (again). after the blood clot, bobby tells him that the higher ups don’t think he should come back yet because of the blood thinners. buck is still in a very emotionally raw state, so he quits.

buck is understandably miserable after this, he feels like his life has no purpose and he’s unable to do what he loves. and then: the tsunami. buck nearly dies (AGAIN) and also almost loses christopher, who he basically views as a son. buck feels like he’s failed eddie but eddie reassures him that he trusts him completely.

and now we get to the primary conflict between bobby and buck’s respective motivations. bobby’s decisions, at their core, were out of guilt. he felt responsible for buck being injured, so he did everything he could to try to make up for that and keep buck from being injured.

buck’s motivations, on the other hand, revolved around trust. he always felt like he could trust bobby and the 118 completely, and saw them as family, especially bobby. buck thought that bobby was on his side, that he wanted buck to come back as much as buck did. when he finds out that bobby is the reason buck can’t come back, he feels betrayed. he sees the decision as an indication that bobby doesn’t trust him, and that he didn’t trust him enough to tell him what was really going on.

another important thing: buck had every reason to believe that the rest of the 118 knew what bobby was doing and were also lying to buck. the only person who knew was athena, but buck had no way of knowing that. buck himself says that the 118 tells each other everything, so why wouldn’t he assume that hen and chimney and eddie all knew and also chose not to tell him?

in buck’s eyes, his entire support system (excluding maddie) is ripped away from him at once. the 118, his family, doesn’t trust him, they lied to him, and they replaced him. obviously none of this is true, but from buck’s point of view, it makes complete sense.

this also makes eddie’s conversation with buck after the tsunami take on a whole new meaning. buck’s best friend looked into his eyes and assured him that he trusted him more than anyone in the world, and now buck thinks that eddie has been lying to his face. if bobby can lie to him and eddie can lie to him, then he can’t trust anything he thought he could.

so, buck goes for the nuclear option. he doesn’t feel like he has any other choice because he doesn’t feel like he even has anyone in his life that he can depend on right now. without his family, his friends, and his job he has nothing, so he grabs the first opportunity he sees to get that back.

was it a good decision? absolutely not. did it end up hurting everyone he cares about and nearly costing him everything? yes. was it stupid and impulsive and selfish and a whole bunch of other bad things? also yes.

but that is why it makes sense. it’s a very human decision borne from very complex, human emotions, and so is bobby’s decision. these characters are deeply flawed and complex and sometimes do impulsive and selfish things and that’s what makes them interesting.

the lawsuit arc is a perfect example of two people who deeply care about each other making all the wrong choices in an attempt to protect themselves and the people they care about. and that is why i think it is an incredibly well executed storyline that added tremendous depth to both buck and bobby’s respective characters and their relationship.

hope you enjoyed my ridiculously long post of the day! let me know if you want to hear my thoughts on any other storylines because i spend a ridiculous amount of time thinking about this show.

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, November 30

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: The Kennedy family torn apart 

Page 2: Angry and isolated Caitlyn Jenner is on a downward emotional spiral that some friends believe have left her one step from the psycho ward -- she feels shunned by her own family and can’t find romance and is unhappy with with her looks -- Caitlyn is so tense and insecure and sensitive about everything so she’s diving into more and more prospective projects in a desperate effort to kickstart her flagging career and she’s flying off the handle all the time plus she’s tried to drown her sorrows in a new round of cosmetic improvements including a face-lift and lipo to trim her waist and thighs but she’s horrified she’s still not happy with her looks after all her surgeries 

Page 3: Lovestruck Halle Berry has leapt headfirst into a red-hot romance with Van Hunt but the singer is a skirt-chasing cheat -- Van and his ex-wife split in 2007 after she said he abandoned her and their only child to move to L.A. and she claimed the musician admitted adultery shortly before divorce documents were filed -- Halle would be disturbed to hear that Van walked out on his son because she’s a very family-oriented person and she could never imagine living on the other side of the country to her kids -- Van’s grown and matured since the divorce and is sure to have shared all about his situation with Halle and he’s said to be on good terms with his ex-wife but people say once a cheater always a cheater and that’s got to be at the back of Halle’s mind 

Page 4: Runaway Prince Harry is reeling after being publicly snubbed by his royal relatives and now he is having second thoughts about ditching his official duties for a glam life in Hollywood; he’s finally realizing just what he gave up when he left England with wife Meghan Markle and their son Archie and he’s wondering if it was worth it -- the simmering rift between Harry and the royals exploded after they refused his request to be part of Britain’s Remembrance Day ceremonies to honor fallen soldiers so Harry retaliated by staging a photo op at Los Angeles National Cemetery with Meghan with his military medals pinned on his navy suit; Harry was banned from wearing his military uniform when he quit royal duties and he also had to give up his military duties which devastated him -- photos from the cemetery released by the couple triggered an immediate backlash and they were accused of being shameless publicity-seekers trying to steal headlines and overshadow the royals doing their duty back home; it was a disaster and Harry was shocked -- he’s reaching out to the palace to make amends but calls to his brother Prince William and father Prince Charles have gone unanswered

* Katie Holmes and Emilio Vitolo Jr.’s hot new romance is in a pressure cooker as their families fight to claim the couple as their guests for the holidays -- things were going great for them but this tug-of-war may tear them apart because Emilio’s folks told him they want him home with them but Katie is desperate to spend Christmas with her relatives in Ohio and they really want to meet her new boyfriend and Katie is feeling guilty because she spends so much time with Emilio’s clan at his dad’s Manhattan eatery so she thinks it’s only fair that he does this for her but Emilio’s never missed a holiday gathering with his own family and there are a lot of them he hasn’t seen because of the pandemic 

Page 5: Celine Dion is finally ready to put the past behind her as the fifth anniversary of her beloved husband’s death approaches in January and she is planning to leave Las Vegas with their sons and she is pining to return to her native Quebec and give twins Nelson and Eddy and 19-year-old Rene-Charles a taste of her own childhood -- Celine had been careful to not upset her kids’ lives since the death of their dad from throat cancer but she now believes the boys would benefit from spending time in The Great White North -- she also thinks it might be more likely she’ll find lasting love in her home country 

Page 6: Defiantly plump Lizzo has ditched her diet and frightened friends are staging an intervention to get her to a fat farm to save her life -- Lizzo had committed to eating vegan after weighing in at 350 pounds but once on vacation it lasted like two days before she couldn’t take it any longer -- she has anxiety issues and uses food to comfort herself but the stress the weight is putting on her heart and other organs could have a detrimental effect on her health and cut her life short

Page 7: Mark Harmon and Pauley Perrette have agreed to meet for peace talks after a long-simmering feud triggered her angry departure from NCIS and Mark reached out to her to invite her back -- Mark feels bad about how Pauley left the show and knows she played a big role in its success and he’s anxious to set things right between them and bring back one of the show’s favorite all-time characters for fans -- Mark also feels he’s been painted unfairly in Pauley’s departure and would like to know he was not behind it but the two clashed for years with Pauley charging Mark’s bullying caused her to quit the show and Pauley even tweeted she is terrified of Harmon and him attacking her -- while Pauley is not saying yes or no to returning to the show she’s definitely willing to sit down and talk 

* The drama between sickly Phil Collins and his squatting ex-wife Orianne Cevey is really getting down and dirty with Orianne charging that Phil degenerated into a pill-popping addict who stopped showering and brushing his teeth and was impotent and she also claimed Phil became emotionally and verbally abusive and refused to provide emotional support or love or care for her -- Phil’s lawyers said Orianne’s charges are scandalous and scurrilous and unethical and for the most part patently false or grossly exaggerated

Page 8: Power-hungry host Savannah Guthrie is gunning to be the reigning queen of Today and is willing to walk over anyone to achieve her goal and her blind ambition is ripping the once-invincible morning show apart and she even used Al Roker’s prostate cancer diagnosis to push her own agenda and capitalize on Al’s absence for surgery to demand more airtime for herself -- every meeting starts with the focus on whatever Savannah wants and the staff is far from happy about it and morale has never been worse -- Savannah has constantly pushed the producers for Jenna Bush Hager and herself to take the lead on big news stories and keep Hoda Kotb stuck in the fluffy stuff and Hoda’s completely pissed off -- Savannah’s rising star has come with temper tantrums and diva-like demands -- fed-up Hoda recently met with friends of Gayle King and there is speculation the two women could make a powerful pairing and revitalize third-place CBS This Morning 

Page 9: Regis Philbin’s death certificate reveals paramedics waged a desperate 40-minute battle to try to save his life -- he suffered a heart attack just after 3 a.m. on July 24 at his home in Connecticut and he was rushed to the emergency room where medics fought to save his life but he eventually succumbed at 4:18 a.m. 

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Queen Latifah on the NYC set of The Equalizer, socially distant host Ellen DeGeneres went the extra mile to greet guest Jimmy Kimmel on her talk show, Steve Schirripa and Bridget Moynahan shot Blue Bloods in NYC, Kristen Taekman prettied up her pout in L.A., Tracy Morgan attended the ribbon-cutting ceremony for a new community center at Brooklyn’s Marcy Houses 

Page 11: Smitten ‘70s TV stars Patrick Duffy and Linda Purl may owe their late-in-life romance to Zoom but according to the actress the couple didn’t rush their relationship -- the two have been friends for decades but a COVID-19 group video chat helped spark love during lockdown -- after one of their lengthy one-on-one conversations Patrick jumped into his car and drove 20 hours from L.A. to her Colorado home like a lovestruck teenager 

* Beloved Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek left behind a final touching message for his fans and it will be extremely moving -- Alex’s final message will follow his last episode of Jeopardy! set to air on Christmas Day

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- Joel Michaely at the opening of The Comeback Trail (picture)

* Kelly Clarkson’s divorce meant she booted ex Brandon Blackstock out of her professional life but he’ll still be in her work life thanks to Blake Shelton -- Brandon might not be Kelly’s manager anymore but he still manages Blake which might get awkward when Kelly runs into him backstage at The Voice

* Keeping Up with the Kardashians is notching all-time low ratings and the family is blaming Kim Kardashian saying she’s lost her sense of humor and she’s too busy trying to be taken seriously

* Nitpicky Ryan Seacrest has ditched celebrity designer Nate Berkus’ husband Jeremiah Brent as his decorator because they had a nasty falling out over the renovation of Ryan’s townhouse in New York City 

Page 13: Steve Harvey’s daughter Lori Harvey escaped jail time after cops claimed she fled the scene of a Beverly Hills car crash in 2019 -- she was charged with two misdemeanors for hit-and-run and delaying a police investigation after she walked away from a smashup that damaged her Mercedes G-wagon and nearly destroyed another vehicle but she cut a deal with prosecutors and pleaded no contest to resisting arrest and will serve two years probation -- she reportedly had been texting at the time of the accident 

* Reba McEntire confirmed she turned down a regular role on The Voice which left the life-changing gig open for Blake Shelton -- Reba said she didn’t think she could ever tell somebody that they’re terrible 

* Cancer warrior Olivia Newton-John revealed she kicked a dependence on morphine with medical marijuana -- to cope with her pain during her third bout with breast cancer that had spread in 2017 doctors put her on mega doses of the highly addictive drug and she weaned herself off the morphine with the cannabis which she thinks is incredible and says people should know that because you’re not going to die from cannabis and you can use it to wean off morphine and she’s continued on a regime with cannabis ever since 

Page 14: Crime 

Page 15: Los Angeles’ newly elected District Attorney George Gascon has vowed to reopen the probe into actress Natalie Wood’s mysterious drowning and her husband Robert Wagner could finally be dragged before a grand jury -- Gascon said he’ll work with investigators from the L.A. Sheriff’s Department homicide squad to reexamine the case after the previous D.A. refused to present evidence to a grand jury -- Natalie drowned in 1981 while enjoying a holiday with Robert and actor Christopher Walken off Catalina Island 

Page 16: The Talk has been thrown into chaos by cast shake-ups and co-host Sharon Osbourne’s power grab and may be on the verge of being silenced forever -- staffers are expecting the worst after popular co-host Eve announced she was splitting after four seasons becoming the latest in a long line of damaging departures and while Eve blamed her exit on COVID-19 travel restrictions from England much of the blame goes to self-promotional Sharon’s relentless efforts to take over the show after former moderator Julie Chen’s departure last year -- Sharon has made it clear she’s in charge now and the other ladies are not thrilled with being reduced to supporting cast and fans have started calling for Sharon’s head 

Page 17: John Lennon’s widow Yoko Ono has sparked fears she’s nearing the end after handing her business dealings off to their son Sean Lennon -- the wheelchair-bound Yoko had been managing the late Beatle’s vast $800 million holdings since his 1980 shooting death but it’s now beyond her abilities

Page 18: American Life 

Page 19: Johnny Depp is writing and planning to star in a tell-all movie about his divorce war with loathed ex-wife Amber Heard -- after a U.K. court ruled he was physically abusive toward Amber during their marriage Johnny wants to tell the world his version of the marriage and he will set people straight about what happened and clear his name to millions to fans and he believes this is a slam dunk once he gets it in front of the right producer especially as he’s more than willing to play himself 

* The family of vicious Boston mobster James “Whitey” Bulger has filed a lawsuit against the federal government accusing prison officials of orchestrating the 2018 hit on the Mob boss -- the action accuses the Federal Bureau of Prisons of intentional or deliberately indifferent deeds that led to the murder of the wheelchair-bound mobster just hours after he was inexplicably transferred to the Hazelton penitentiary in West Virginia where he was beaten to death by prisoners to keep him from singing about corruption inside the FBI and the Department of Justice -- Whitey was bludgeoned with a padlock stuffed inside a sock and his murderers had enough time to cut out his tongue and eyes to make it seem like a classic Mafia hit 

Page 20: Angelina Jolie lives in constant fear one of her six children will be kidnapped and held for ransom according to her former bodyguard -- Angie and her ex Brad Pitt are worth hundreds of millions which Angie feared provided plenty of incentive for criminals to target her offspring

* Hollywood Hookups -- Sofia Richie and Matthew Morton dating, Sabrina Parr and Lamar Odom split, Daniela Rajic and Paul George engaged

Page 21: Justin Bieber’s pastor Carl Lentz lost his job over a steamy affair with an exotic beauty -- Lentz was fired from the megachurch Hillsong and his mistress claimed the two were in love 

* Wildlife lover Bindi Irwin has announced 20 weeks into pregnancy her baby is the size of a tiny emu -- she delivered the news flash beneath a photo with her husband Chandler Powell appropriately taken at the Australia Zoo

* Hugh Grant made a bizarre confession admitting his bout with COVID-19 left him wanting to sniff strangers’ armpits -- Hugh revealed he tested positive for coronavirus antibodies and believes he contracted the bug in February and the illness caused a feeling of an enormous man sitting on his chest but Hugh also claimed he was rattled by losing his sense of smell which is a known symptom of the disease and purposely sought out putrid odors to test his useless nose 

Page 22: Jailed Ghislaine Maxwell’s latest devastating court defeat has heightened fears that the woman accused of being billionaire sex fiend Jeffrey Epstein’s madam will die behind bars just as he did -- since July Maxwell has been locked up in solitary confinement at Brooklyn’s Metropolitan Detention Center where her jailers subject her to daily strip and cell searches and is monitored 24 hours a day she doesn’t suffer the same fate as Epstein whose death was officially ruled a suicide -- now the U.S. Court of Appeals has denied her bid to publicly name the women who have come forward in the media and civil actions as Epstein’s alleged victims and implicated the British socialite in his twisted sex ring so the damning decision upheld an earlier ruling and shattered her defense team’s bid to investigate and refute the claims of the unnamed accusers

Page 23: Tom Cruise’s plan to shoot the first movie in space may be in jeopardy after Russia vowed to beat him to it -- Tom has teamed with tech billionaire Elon Musk’s SpaceX program to film the unnamed project on the International Space Station in October 2021 -- but a rival Russian agency plans to already be in outer space by then and the Russian film is titled Challenge and its team has sent out a casting call for a female lead -- Tom sees this as a gauntlet being thrown down and he always rises to the challenge and he’s told SpaceX they have to get up there before next October

Page 28: Cover Story -- Kennedy curse rips clan apart -- the family takes sides as Michael Skakel skates and William Kennedy Smith stalls $50 million will 

Page 32: Ric Ocasek’s oldest son has blasted him as a deadbeat dad who was never there -- Chris Otcasek who uses the original spelling of the family name wrote on Instagram that his father in essence died the day he was born and he was never present and he was never there -- Ric left his mom who was his second wife Suzanne while she was pregnant with their second child 

* Lisa Marie Presley has had a medical emergency so severe it brought her bitter custody trial with fourth ex-husband Michael Lockwood to a halt 

Page 36: Health, Ask the Vet 

Page 38: Pope John Paul II was aware that disgraced and defrocked Cardinal Theodore McCarrick was a pedophile but elevated him anyway to the powerful post of Archbishop of Washington D.C. in 2001 -- McCarrick had showered over $600,000 in donations on powerful clerics including Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict while facing allegations of abuse -- Pope Francis finally defrocked McCarrick in 2019 

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Mandy Moore 

Page 45: Spot the Differences -- Emma Corrin as Princess Diana in The Crown 

Page 47: Odd List 

[wordssometimesfail]

Textual Reddie & Queer!Eddie: A Masterpost

So I’ve been planning on doing something like this for a while, but it had fallen to the wayside until @skinks​ and I started talking about Reddie again, and my weak little heart was rekindled.  

Speaking of reKINDLEd (ehh? Ehhhhh?), my Kindle copy of IT is full of highlighted textual support of unresolved Reddie feelings, and a queer reading of Eddie specifically. And lo, a disjointed essay-type meta was birthed. This fucker’s about to get long, so if you’re interested, dive on under the cut – but be forewarned, there are massive spoilers for the book and (probably) Chapter 2 below!

(Seriously, cannot emphasize the MASSIVE SPOILERS enough. If you don’t know what happens and you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t read this.) 

As a very general disclaimer, I am not going to be including everything that I highlighted. There is a fuckton, including a lot of small moments of Richie and Eddie interacting that don’t showcase anything other than their closeness. I’ll be paring it down here to moments that prove a larger theme, and some standout cuteness. With that said, IT is a 1,300-page behemoth, and it’s definitely possible that I skipped over something. If you know of anything significant that I missed, feel free to reblog with additions.

Note: I will be using terrible, half-assed MLA citations for this. Pagination is from my Kindle copy of the novel. All quotes will be italicized to help differentiate them visually from my points (if something was italicized in the original text, it’ll be unitalicized here). Unless otherwise stated, all bolded emphasis is mine. “--” will be used in place of em-dashes, “/” will be used to denote paragraph breaks.  

PART I – ASTHMA

“When Eddie’s nervous he reaches for his aspirator.” (King 372)

It doesn’t get much more explicit than this. We’re told in no uncertain terms that Eddie’s psychosomatic asthma is rooted in nervousness, in things that make him scared and uncomfortable. The trigger for this particular explanation is being overwhelmed by the age and significance of Boston, but in an earlier scene:  

“These shoes no longer looked just right... but he supposed they would do for where he was going. And for whatever he might have to do when he got there. Maybe Richie Tozier would-- / But then the blackness threatened and he felt his throat beginning to close up.” (King 112)  

This is Eddie’s first on-page asthma attack. It hits him the first time we see him as an adult, having just received his call from Mike to return to Derry. And yet it’s the thought of Richie, not It or Derry, that makes Eddie nervous enough to need his aspirator. Notably, the thought goes unfinished. We don’t know, nor do we ever find out in explicit terms, what Eddie thought Richie Tozier would.  

Of course, asthma is the most prominent symptom of Eddie’s hypochondria, so the attacks crop up often in the text. The most interesting of these attacks for our purposes (other than Eddie becoming nervous at the thought of Richie) is the following:  

“‘The first of the ‘new murders’ [...] began on the Main Street Bridge and ended underneath it. The victim was a gay and rather childlike man named Adrian Mellon. He had a bad case of asthma.’ / Eddie’s hand stole out and touched the side of his aspirator.” (King 646)

Mike (speaking) tells the gang about the death of Adrian Mellon, and takes care to note three things about him: he was gay, he was childlike, and he had asthma. The connection between Eddie and Adrian is drawn quickly and obviously as Eddie reaches for his aspirator, seemingly out of reflex - but what we can also infer here is that this is making Eddie nervous. He could be nervous because a man with asthma was just killed by It, and he, too, is a man with asthma. He could also be nervous because the parallel that Mike and the prose have none-too-subtly drawn between Eddie and Adrian implies that they have more in common than a respiratory problem. But what?

PART II – EDDIE/ADRIAN

“[The other Losers] are being called--I know that much. Each murder in this new cycle has been a call.” (King 1116)

Mike writes this in the fourth interlude, referring to the way that It’s murders 27 years later all seem to be calling out to the Losers’ Club. By drawing a parallel between Eddie and Adrian through their asthma, King leads us to believe that Adrian’s murder specifically called to Eddie. He also leads us to consider how else they might be linked.

Adrian is virtually Eddie’s opposite. He’s out and proud and in a loving, unstrained relationship. He flirts openly with other men, teases his aggressors, and, to contrast with the neurotic and nervous Eddie:  

“‘He didn’t have much in the way of protective coloration. He was one of those fools who think things really are going to turn out all right.’” (King 27)  

His openness, however, is what gets him killed. While being harassed by some homophobes, Adrian teases and antagonizes them, and the next time they see him they assault him and unwittingly gift him, half-dead, to Pennywise.  

It especially kills me that Adrian’s asthma is not significantly mentioned in his chapter. He makes a comment to his boyfriend that the “air’s better” (King 36) in Derry, which could imply that he has had less problems since he moved there, but the word “asthma” is never used. It’s not relevant to his story, and it’s not brought up until King has to draw a parallel between Adrian and Eddie. Because it’s not relevant to Adrian’s story, the connection that King draws between them feels almost half-assed and weak, until one considers their contrasting personalities and contrasting happinesses in their respective relationships. Along that same line of thinking, the implications of having Eddie directly paralleled by a gay man killed for being gay cast a suspicious light on Eddie’s presumed straightness.  

If we accept that Eddie and Adrian are linked, that Adrian’s murder was a specific call to Eddie, then it goes without saying that there is a strong implication here that Eddie is closeted. He is being contrasted with an out gay man who fears no consequence for being out in a small, violent, hateful town. Eddie’s neuroses and fixation on his psychosomatic asthma are contrasted with a man who hadn’t a care in the world - not even his (presumably) real physical condition. The fear and self-hate that dogged Eddie his whole life never bothered Adrian Mellon, until it killed him.  

If we accept that Eddie and Adrian are linked, and what that implies, then we can infer that Adrian is what Eddie could have been, were he happy, open, and out - and what happens to Adrian is the exact kind of thing that may have kept poor, terrified Eddie in the closet.  

PART III – SEX, QUEERNESS, AND SELF-LOATHING

So, I think we all remember the leper scene--creepy in the 2017 movie, even creepier in the novel. One notable book-only detail is that the leper “[offers] to give Eddie a blowjob for a quarter” (King 400) in addition to chasing him around and being generally disgusting.  

“Come back here, kid, the hoarse voice whispered. I’ll blow you for free. Come back here! / No, Eddie moaned at it. Please, go away, I don’t want to think about that.” (King 394)

Eddie is immediately terrified by the mere thought of getting a blowjob, of being touched by someone diseased, of being touched by a man. He doesn’t even want to think about it... and then the question becomes, does he not want to think about sex with the leper, or sex at all? Regardless, it seems pretty normal for an eleven-year-old boy to be scared of a blowjob from a strange adult with open sores on his face. But there is, of course, more to unpack here.  

Another difference between book and film comes when Eddie recounts the tale to Richie and Bill...:

“‘He didn’t have leprosy, you dummy,’ Richie said. “He had [syphilis].’ / […] / ‘It’s a disease you get from fucking,’ Richie said. ‘You know about fucking, don’t you, Eds?’ / ‘Sure,’ Eddie said. He hoped he wasn’t blushing.” (King 400)

All of a sudden Eddie isn’t just afraid of disease, but of a sexually transmitted disease. Pennywise’s angle on Eddie is a big fuck-off combo of decay and sex--specifically gay sex. Not only is the “leper” a man offering him sexual favours, but Bill is quick to point out that men can get syphilis from “another g-g-guy if they’re kwuh-kwuh-queer" (King 402). Queerness and gay sex are therefore lumped in with Eddie’s fear of the “leper” from word go.  

Since he’s a pre-pubescent child (in that same scene, Eddie recalls trying to masturbate and nothing happening), Eddie’s disinterest in and general apprehension towards sex makes sense without bringing the element of internalized homophobia into the mix. But this is my post, I can do what I want, and Stephen King already brought it into the mix for me.  

Eddie is frightened by the thought of queer sex at another notable point in the novel as well, when he recalls a vignette from his and the Losers’ past:  

“Patrick Hockstetter was down [in the Barrens]. Before It took him Beverly saw him doing something bad. It made her laugh but she knew it was bad. Something to do with Henry Bowers, wasn’t it? Yes, I think so. And-- / [Eddie] turned away suddenly and started back toward the abandoned depot, not wanting to look down into the Barrens anymore, not liking the thoughts they conjured up. He wanted to be home with Myra.” (King 720)

Myra, for those who haven’t read the novel, is Eddie’s wife. If you’re one of those people (or even if you haven’t read it in a while), you might also be wondering what exactly Patrick Hockstetter did to Henry Bowers in the Barrens that made Eddie balk and suddenly crave his wife’s company. Well, my friends, Patrick tried to give Henry Bowers a blowjob. Eddie has to turn away from the mere thought of two men (well, boys) engaging in a sex act. He has to return to his wife, the implication here being that she is there to shield him from queerness, from queer sex.  

And the scene between Patrick and Henry, which we do see later from Bev’s point of view, is extremely telling as to why Eddie has to turn away. Henry gets violent and angry when Patrick propositions him, just like Adrian Mellon’s assailants got violent and angry, just like Eddie’s own mother gets defensive and cruel at the thought of a pair of (unconfirmed) gay men in their town with a nicer house than hers:  

“‘Any two men who bother keeping a house so nice must be queers,’ Eddie’s mother had once said in a disgruntled sort of way, and Eddie hadn’t dared ask for clarification.” (King 712)  

Eddie here is afraid to even question the root of his mother’s assumptions, or the very fact of her prejudice. Questioning, experimentation, being openly anything other than straight in Derry only earns you bile and violence from the rest of the town, and Eddie knows this. Why would anyone come out? How could they? Isn’t it better to just turn away and leave the thought unfinished?  

And it is explicit that Eddie feels somehow wrong and incomplete, in addition to his general aversion to all things queer and sexual. At one point, compounding himself and the homeless “leper”, Eddie has an internal monologue that ends as follows:  

“I got me a disease that’s eating me up. My skin’s cracking open, my teeth are falling out, and you know what? I can feel myself turning bad like an apple that’s going soft. I can feel it happening, eating from the inside to the out, eating, eating, eating me.” (King 405)

By conflating himself with the “leper”, Eddie makes the disease his own. He makes his fear of the “leper” falling apart a fear he has about himself. He fears something within himself, something rotten, turning him “bad” - bad like offering a blowjob to Henry Bowers in the Barrens. It’s a literal fear of disease, to be sure, but that sense of being rotten to the core, being bad on the inside in a way you cannot change, also feels like an apt metaphor for internalized homophobia in light of the subtextual queerness of the rest of Eddie’s fear. And especially in light of another scene in which he feels inferior, rotten, wrong:

“Simply reaching for the cubes of bread [at communion] became an act which required courage, and he always feared an electrical shock... or worse, that the bread would suddenly change color in his hand, become a blood-clot, and a disembodied Voice would begin to thunder in the church: Not worthy! Not worthy! Damned to Hell! Damned to Hell!” (King 1247)  

We will absolutely come back to the fact that Eddie uses Voice with a capital V, but for now let’s focus on the rest of the scene. Eddie’s fear of being damned and unworthy is rooted in a story his Sunday School teacher told him, about a boy who blasphemed. Even as a small child, he has anxiety about his existence or behaviour cursing him – making him diseased, or turning bread into blood. And, of course, for the purposes of this reading, we can’t ignore the fact that queerness and American Christianity don’t typically go hand-in-hand. This compounded with the suggestion that he is rotten from the inside out suggests that Eddie has some reason to think he has blasphemed – and his persistent association with queerness suggests that this reason may be the knowledge or suspicion that he isn’t straight.  

Eddie’s worries even follow him into adulthood:  

“Get off it, Eds, Richie’s voice seemed to whisper. You ain’t solid at all […].” (King 715)

I included this quote because it reinforces my point about Eddie not feeling whole or right within himself. It’s not quite time for the Reddie part of this meta, but I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that Richie is nowhere in this scene and has absolutely nothing to do with it, and still it’s his voice that voices Eddie’s subconscious fears about not being “solid”. Again, I will be going into this in more detail later. First, there’s one more element of this queer reading of Eddie that needs to be tackled.  

PART IV – THIS ONE QUOTE GETS TO BE ITS OWN PART BECAUSE MY GOD

Most of you are probably familiar with Anthony Perkins, even if you don’t know you are – if you’ve ever been exposed to Psycho, either by watching it or through pop-cultural osmosis, you'll know him as Norman Bates. You also may or may not know that he was famously closeted. He reportedly only had relationships with men until he met and married Berinthia Berenson in his early 40s, and never came out during his lifetime. (Obviously one’s sexual history doesn’t necessarily determine one’s sexuality, but most sources I can find suggest that he was gay, not bisexual.)

Now, if you read Eddie Kaspbrak as gay, this may sound somewhat familiar. Married a woman, never came out, horror icon, it’s all there. But why do I bring it up? Well, because of this:  

“Eddie--it was weird but true--had grown up to look quite a little bit like Anthony Perkins.” (King 628)

On its own, it’s a seemingly innocuous, if oddly specific, pop-cultural reference. Nothing to write home about. Compounded with everything else we know about Eddie, and everything else I’ve covered above? It’s telling as balls. King could have simply described Eddie, as he does immediately after this line, but he takes the time to compare a character repeatedly associated with queerness and sexual repression to a closeted gay man who eventually married a woman.  

(Note: admittedly, IT would’ve been written in the early-mid 80s, at which point Perkins was not officially known to be gay, but according to my father there were plenty of rumours. He was, additionally, known as a repressed, shy “mama’s boy” who was made nervous by female attention. Sound like anyone else we know?)  

PART V – REDDIE

And now for the main event.  

If I unpack every individual piece of Reddie goodness to the degree that I’ve unpacked Eddie himself, we’ll be here for another 2,500 words. So, I’m only going to hit three major points:  

PART VA – CLOSENESS

Richie is all over Eddie. He frequently pinches Eddie’s cheeks, calls him cute, and is all-around physically and verbally affectionate with him. Some notable examples:  

“Richie […] pinched Eddie’s cheek. / ‘Don’t do that! I hate it when you do that, Richie.’ / ‘Ah, you love it, Eds,’ Richie said, and beamed at him.” (King 384-85)

This is their first on-page interaction, mind you. This moment sets the stage for the rest of their relationship.

“Richie jumped to his feet a second time and pinched Eddie’s cheek. ‘Cute, cute, cute!’ Richie exclaimed.” (King 390)  

“‘[My aunts] all pinch my cheek and tell me how much I’ve grown,’ Eddie said. / ‘That’s cause they know how cute you are, Eds--just like me. I saw what a cutie you were the first time I met you.’” (King 446-47)  

Listen. Do you think I’ll ever get over this? Do you think I can move on, knowing that this exists? Richie teases everyone, but he only ever uses “cute” for Eddie.  

“‘Take it easy, Eds,’ Richie soothed, and leaned toward him. / ‘Don’t call me Eds and don’t you dare pinch my cheek!’ [Eddie] cried, rounding on Richie. ‘You know I hate that! I always hated it!’ / Richie recoiled, blinking.” (King 668)

This scene takes place when they’re adults, and I love it for a number of reasons – the easy return to form for both of them, Richie genuinely trying to comfort Eddie, and Richie’s surprise at being snapped at. My heart goes out to the man. 

“‘I hate it when you call me Eds.’ / ‘I know,’ Richie said, hugging him tightly, ‘but somebody has to toughen you up, Eds. When you stop leading the sheltered igs-zistence of a child and grow up, you gonna, Ah say, Ah say you gonna find out life ain’t always this easy, boy!’ / Eddie began to shriek with laughter.” (King 1334)

There are quite a few scenes where they make each other laugh, but this one is my personal favourite.  

And the cherry on top:  

“[Richie] slapped Eddie’s can.” (King 1322)  

The context of this is less than shippy (they’re squeezing through a tight passageway, Richie is behind Eddie and needs him to move forward), but there are few ships that can say that party A has canonically smacked party B’s ass, and I think we should appreciate that more as a fandom.  

There’s also a strong element of protectiveness – Richie is very protective of Eddie in a way that Eddie’s mother isn’t. He genuinely pays attention to Eddie’s needs and tries to do right by him:  

“It was Richie and Bev who went to Eddie. […] Richie dug his aspirator out of his pocket. ‘Bite on this, Eddie,’ he said, and Eddie took a hitching, gasping breath as Richie pulled the trigger.” (King 903)  

“Richie heard Eddie cough twice […] and then fall silent again. He shouldn’t be down here, he thought […].” (King 968)  

“...Eddie [agreed to follow Bill into the sewers] last. / ‘I don’t think so, Eddie,’ Richie said. ‘Your arm’s not, you know, looking too cool.’” (King 1251)  

“Richie turned Bill toward him, looked at him as you would look at a man who is hopelessly raving. ‘Bill, we have to take care of Eddie. We have to get a tourniquet on him, get him out of here.’” (King 1396)

Hey fun fact? Fun fucking fact, Eddie’s already dead in this scene and Richie knows that.  

On a cheerier note, and to add one last dimension to Eddie and Richie’s closeness, Richie is the only person with whom we see Eddie intentionally swapping spit/germs (outside of ritualistic bloodletting). Not only does Richie use Eddie’s aspirator at one point, but there’s also this scene:  

“‘I can carry [the Parcheesi board],’ Eddie said, a little out of breath. ‘How about a lick on your Rocket?’ / ‘Your mom wouldn’t approve, Eddie,’ Richie said sadly. […] ‘[…] Ah say you kin get germs eatin after someone else!’ / ‘I’ll chance it,’ Eddie said. / Reluctantly, Richie held his Rocket up to Eddie’s mouth... and snatched it away quickly as soon as Eddie had gotten in a couple of moderately serious licks.” (King 1243)  

The obvious humour of this scene aside (poor Richie, having to share), the fact that hypochondriac Mama’s boy Eddie doesn’t mind Richie’s germs in particular is both sweet and interesting. The imagery here, of Eddie licking Richie’s Rocket despite his mother’s disapproval (compounded with the pre-established association between Eddie and blowjobs) is just... interesting, to say the least. As is the fact that I totally stole this scene and reversed the roles for the sake of a fic that I would like to pimp as a reward for making it this far into this monstrosity. It has a happy ending, don’t worry. 

What does all of this put together signify? Richie and Eddie are close. They clearly love each other as friends, and the almost flirtatious touching, cute-calling, teasing, protectiveness, and Rocket-licking can also all signify the beginnings of something else as well. If nothing else, it’s fun, sweet fic fodder.  

PART VB – THE VOICE (WITH A CAPITAL V)

This is one of my favourite details. Eddie thinks of all the Losers from time to time, but Richie is straight-up one of the voices in his head. Richie refers to his impressions and characters as Voices with a capital V, and Very often, Eddie will think in them. He’ll hear jokes in them, Pennywise will taunt him with them, he’ll hear the very criticism and hate that he fears hurled back at him in Voices. Right from the start:  

“‘Had any good chucks lately, Eds?’ [Eddie] says out loud, and laughs again.” (King 374)  

As he drives to Derry, Eddie is already laughing and delighting in the thought of his friends (specifically Bill and Richie) and the way they used to be. Later in the same scene:  

“‘Sure, kid, EV-ery day,’ he says in a Richie Tozier Voice, and laughs again.” (King 376)  

King quickly establishes that Richie’s Voices are a source of joy for Eddie, and that Richie himself is one of the Losers that Eddie is most looking forward to seeing. Indeed, in several scenes (including one of the ones quoted above), we see Eddie laughing at or with Richie when he does his Voices, both in the present and the past. But Eddie’s love of the Voices gets twisted by his own subconscious fears – I mentioned earlier that it is a Voice with a capital V that tells Eddie that he’s damned to Hell during his imaginary blood-communion. And it’s Richie’s voice that reminds Eddie that he’s not “solid”, to cap off a scene where he literally runs away from thoughts of queerness and sex. Eddie’s fear of himself becomes conflated with the Voices in a way that suggests his fear is of Richie, of Richie’s hatred, contempt, and dismissal. He is afraid that Richie sees him as unworthy, damned, unsolid. He is afraid that Richie sees the thing that’s eating him from the inside out.  

Eddie wants to be home with Myra. It’s easier to keep Richie and his Voices in his head than to risk what they would (--) do if they saw all of Eddie clearly.  

PART VC – EDS & EDDIE’S DEATH

Yes, we all know and love “Eds”. We love Richie being a little shit, we love Eddie being his tsundere self, and we love that Eddie canonically has a soft spot for the nickname:  

“Man, he had hated it when Richie called him Eds... but he had sort of liked it, too.” (King 374)

We also love (or hate) that “Eds” factors into Eddie and Richie’s final exchange in the novel:  

“But there was something else [Eddie] had to say [before he died]. / ‘Richie,’ he whispered. / ‘What?’ Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately. / ‘Don’t call me Eds,’ he said, and smiled. He raised his left hand slowly and touched Richie’s cheek. Richie was crying. ‘You know I... I...’ Eddie closed his eyes, thinking how to finish, and while he was still thinking it over he died.” (King 1386)  

(A.k.a. the scene that nearly made me throw my Kindle across the room.)  

This ties into a broader theme with Eddie that I only began noticing when I started compiling my notes for this meta – his thoughts, when connected to other men, queerness, or sex, often go unfinished. He cuts them off before they stray somewhere that makes him nervous (the thought of Richie giving him an asthma attack), before they stray anywhere at all (the memory of Patrick and Henry making him yearn for Myra, not wanting to think about blowjobs), or before they even become thoughts (not daring to question his mother’s homophobic comments). And here, when he has to say one thing before he dies, when he’s finally allowing himself to conclude a sentimental, intimate thought that he doesn’t even know how to word... he’s cut off one last time.  

And we don’t know what he was going to say. We can speculate, we can infer, but we don’t know, just as we will never know what “Richie Tozier would”.  

Richie Tozier seems to know, though. When he realizes they’ll have to leave Eddie’s body behind, he kisses Eddie’s cheek (just as Eddie touched his in his final moments, and in contrast to the way he used to pinch them) and...:  

“Richie got up and turned toward the door. ‘Fuck you, Bitch!’ he cried suddenly, and kicked the door shut with his foot. It made a solid chukking sound as it closed and latched. / ‘Why’d you do that?’ Beverly asked. / ‘I don’t know,’ Richie said, but he knew well enough.” (King 1427)

Richie’s shutting the door on Pennywise and the sewers and the whole horrible tragedy of it all, yes. But he’s also furious with the grief of losing Eddie, and shutting the door that will now forever separate Eddie’s final resting place from the hole where he died. Bev’s question allows Richie to do just what Eddie did, too – keep it quiet, cut it off, not acknowledge what he’s avoiding or what he’s just lost. Still, he knows well enough.  

PART VI – CONCLUSION  

I don’t know for sure that King intended for Eddie to be closeted, but I think he did. He’s gone on the record that he believes in leaving stuff like this for the reader to figure out. There are a lot of scenes, a lot of small moments, that suggest that Eddie is gay, and while many of them make sense without that reading, the entirety of the picture they paint does not. I’m partial to Reddie, and as I’ve demonstrated above, I believe there is a lot of textual evidence to support the theory that they had feelings for each other. Eddie’s death alone, and the fact that the last thing he had to say needed to be addressed to Richie while Eddie held his face in his hands, is... a LOT. But I’ll be honest – my loyalty is to queer!Eddie on its own.  

If Eddie Kaspbrak is gay, then his story is ten times more heartbreaking. It’s a story of fear, not just of the supernatural but of the very real hatred and pain he would have faced being openly gay in Derry. It’s a story of fearing that something inside of him was rotten and sick and sinful, and that one of his closest friends in the world thought so too. It’s a story of self-loathing. And it’s a story without an end, because Eddie could never let himself think of how to finish admitting what he needed to admit to himself. The truth was lost in asthma attacks, in Myra, in death. In that sense, it’s fitting that King never explicitly stated that Eddie was gay, if that was indeed his intent – it's one more thing we’ll never know for sure, because Eddie couldn’t bring himself to tell us.  

THAT BEING SAID. My loyalty is to queer!Eddie. Which means that my loyalty is to making this shit better, exploring and dissecting the hell out of it, and fixing it. Give Eddie Kaspbrak the ending he deserved! Let him finish his thoughts! Take these quotes, draw inspiration from them, and let’s all cling to each other in preparation for Chapter 2.  

[wehatejulietsimms]

Bringing this up since it’s so similar to Juliet and Andy’s situation. A few days after Chris Cornell’s death, a lot of stuff about his wife has emerged. There is now big suspicion as to his death. Chris wife is EXACTLY like Juliet except for the baby thing, but how did Chris meet her? She was suppose to be a one night stand, but Chris knocked her up. His wife at home (Susan)with their new born baby Lily, had no idea what was going on. First of all they had been married for many years. Susan was also his manager. She was a few years older so she had a lot of problems having a baby. They did IVF and Lily was born. The one night stand got pregnant, so in turn Chris left his first wife Susan, abandoned their daughter Lily, married Vicky and the rest is history. Vicky’s family had been raising Vicky to marry rich. Her getting knocked up was no accident. Anyway, long story short, years go by and Chris has a terrible relationship with Susan due to the fact that Vicky put in his ear to sue Susan for money she owed him. It wasn’t true of course but this is how conniving some bitches are. Vicky made sure he didn’t see his first daughter Lily as much, Luckily, that father daughter relationship got better thanks to Eddie Vedder intervening and telling Chris to stop being bossed around so much by his wife. No one in Seattle liked Vicky. As a matter of fact, as of yesterday, Eddie Vedder sent his condolences to Chris daughter Lily however, he did not contact Vicky or her family. In turn Vicky’s mother, Chris mother in law, went ballistic on twitter. She attacked Eddie Vedder and his wife as to how dare he contact Lily and not say anything to Vicky and her daughters. Shit hit the fan. Eddie’s fans and Chris fans attacked the mother in law for attacking Eddie. The mother in law is like Chris Biersack. She is on twitter everyday boasting about her son in Law Chris. Every. Fucking. Day. Awestruck bitch.  In the end, she deleted her tweets but Soundgarden/Chris/Pearl Jam Fans  screen capped everything the mother in law said and saved it on a thread. Vicky is Juliet’s doppelganger. This bitch is all about Chanel, Gucci, Versace and Saint Laurent. She demands to live in a mansion. She demanded a Cartier engagement ring. She calls the paparazzi up to every place they go. She’s at every Soundgarden, Audioslave or Chris concert.  She’s at every event with Chris. She travels with Chris. Goes on Tour with Chris. She even managed Chris. She changed Chris making him all Hollywood. She was the one who had him collaborate with Timberland with that god awful “Scream” album. She was the one who set Chris up to sing on stage on a Timberland special with the Pussy Cat Dolls. She made him leave Seattle. She made him leave his friends. Eddie hadn’t spoken to Chris since he intervene to get him to see his first daughter Lily. Eddie even went on stage and dedicated his song “Daughter” to Lily. Vicky was the one separating Chris from his friends and even his own family. Except for a brother in NY who is pro Vicky, Chris hasn’t spoken to his parents or other siblings since he’s been with Vicky and became all “Hollywood”. They cremated Chris two days ago and NONE of his friends or family were there to witness it. Only Vicky, her crazy mother in Law and Linda Ramone. Chris body had not landed 10 minutes before he was brought to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. That’s another thing. All his friends and family are like WTF? Why is he being cremated and buried at Hollywood Forever cemetery? Anyway, the last person Chris spoke to was Vicky. God only knows what that  gold-digging wife said to him before he hung himself. She was always at EVERY show he did so why wasn’t she there the day he died? This bitch didn’t let Chris breath or fart on his own, smothering him in every way possible  but she was NOT there on the day he died. Really? She then ran to the press blaming Antivan for his suicide while his body was still warm in the morgue. Then she wrote a pathetic narcissistic “letter” to Chris that she gave to Billboard magazine so they can published where she said how she had saved Chris and how she was his savior and some other defensive bullshit.

All this reminded me of Kurt and Courtney. All this reminds me of the insane situation with Juliet and Andy. We laugh and joke a lot on this blog, but shit is getting scary as to see how Juliet is the same exact type of person Courtney and Vicky Cornell are. If interested read up more about Vicky and Chris and his death on these forum links.

http://www.lipstickalley.com/showthread.php/1182257-Chris-Cornell-Blind-Item-Might-Explain-His-Death?highlight=chris+cornell

And these comments are from 2003 where some people who knew Vicky from Paris and how she was evil and conniving even then.

http://www.fluttergirl.com/journal/archives/00000330.html

If Andy don’t get help, history will sadly repeat itself. 

A/N: I completely agree. As a matter of fact I was thinking about how serious this situation these past couple days. I was never really a fan of Chris/Soundgarden/etc BUT I’ve always been a massive fan of Nirvana and it’s members and I know that Juliet is obsessed with Courtney Love which scares me. For anyone that doesn’t know the whole situation between Kurt and Courtney you can look it up but to give you my concerns about the similarities between the two couples, Courtney and Kurt had a baby called Frances and when Frances was around [I believe] 2 years old Kurt tragically passed away by quote on quote “suicide” (don’t get me started on that) and because Frances [who is now in her 20s] has been around Courtney pretty much her entire life she now doesn’t really care for her dad because she never really got to know him and Courtney has been telling her fucked up shit about him. (Considering the fact that Courtney knew he wanted to divorce her, she most definitely hasn’t been saying the most positive things about him). & I just feel like considering A&J are thinking about having kids this can’t turn out good.

& This is why I don’t want them to have child. Not because I’m some crazed Andy fangirl or anything of the sort it’s because I don’t want their family to turn out like this because there’s no doubt in my mind that this same situation could happen. -N

[violetfaust]

Hooboy, long-ass post coming

Out of respect for @laschatzki I am replying to @rubbady-pubbady‘s reply to my post in this thread with a new thread.

Sorry for the delay; it’s been sitting in my drafts as it got kinda long. There was a lot of ground to cover. I was going to look for gifs but I didn’t have the strength.

A) Rumple isn’t horribly abusive??? Are you kidding?! The guy who trapped his wife on a ship so she couldn’t leave,

He did that to protect her life from a direct and immediate threat. According to your fanbase, ignoring one’s partner’s wishes to protect them is not abusive; that’s an act of wuv: “He loves her so much he’d rather sacrifice their relationship than her life!” Which, by the way, Belle also recognizes, since she tells Hook to go help Emma:

Belle: Go. Go. Emma needs you. We'll be all right. We've got Rumple's spell to protect us.

Hook: Thank you, Belle.

Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=29119

Then Rumbelle had a fight about it, because that’s what couples do when one of them pulls a dick move with bad consequences, even if his intentions are good. Only a dim Stepford doormat would say, “It’s okay, honeybuns. I would ignore your agency and wishes to protect you, too—in fact, I have!”

threatened her saying if she wants what’s best for her baby she’ll have to come back to him and even Belle said that was a threat,

And Belle was wrong about it being a threat and Rumple told her so:

Belle: Threats won't make me love you again, Rumple.

Rumple: No. But necessity will.

Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=29119

(And, shockingly, it turned out that he was right, as we’re seeing this half season.)

planned to use the shears on Belle’s their baby

I know, right? Thank goodness no one cut Gideon away from his fate of being kidnapped, raised in a cage, blackmailed, brainwashed, and tormented for 28 years, having his heart torn out, and being used as his grandfairy’s puppet to murder someone. Whew! Sure dodged a bullet there! I only hope Snowing are that lucky next week when they try to sever Emma from her fate of being the Savior.

and planned to speed up the pregnancy so he could do that and Belle RAN AWAY FROM HIM AND HE BACKED HER INTO AN ELEVATOR WHILE SHE LOOKED TERRIFIED!!!

Yes. He almost went too far. That was the one time in their lives since the chipped cup that he frightened her. (One time does not make an abuser.)

But guess what? Belle talked him down. She used reason and emotion, and he realized how wrong he was.

I’m pretty sure that according to your fanbase, planning something terrible (and even executing the plan, as Rumple didn’t) is forgivable if you stop at the absolute last moment. In fact, it makes you a hero.

where she had to beg him not do it, he put a tracker on her wrist so he always knows where she’s going “So now, no matter where you go, I’ll find you.”

Which, while another dickish move, was to prevent her from her stated purpose of kidnapping their child. And this time, he did it WITHOUT trying to restrict her movements or agency. Parolees who are flight risks wear ankle bracelets; how was this different?

And all of this is ONLY this season. I could say more about previous seasons. I mean I know Rumple fans stay in their little bubble but come on! What do you call this? Oh wait I forgot - Hook breathed in the background so he must be the terrible one!

I call it BOTH Rumple and Belle acting in terrible ways to each other (way that were the literal opposite of all they’d done before, sheerly for STUpidity and, as Kitsowitz admitted, to create a plot where Gideon could be the man under the cloak trying to kill Emma). Their relationship was extremely unhealthy in 6A, but unhealthy doesn’t always equal abusive. (I made a point of not calling CS’s unhealthy codependent relationship “abusive” until S5, either.)

No, let’s see: Hook lied to Emma literally from the moment he met her; left her and her family to die (twice); manipulated her a thousand times (before you yelp: that’s hyperbole, but if you like I can come up with five or six times off the top of my head); stalked her with a telescope spyglass; felt entitled to her (from Eddy’s own mouth) while she was “shunning him” (JMo’s words); said he was happy her heart had been broken; touched or grabbed her at least half a dozen times without her permission and several times against her stated will (again, happy to provide the examples); tried to keep her away from her family because he wanted more of her time; lied to her about blackmailing someone and being blackmailed back (leading to her almost being thrown into another dimension); threw a jealous snit when she had literally her very first conversation after they started dating with a man whom she was not related to (August); told her he liked her walls because he liked breaking them down; said he “loved” her as she looked at him with tears in her eyes; attempted suicide to get her attention; told her he wanted to hurt her and that she’d always be an orphan, and left her crying; restrained her and stole her magic; tried to kill her entire family (again); yelled at her teenage son for not rescuing him hard enough; joked that being vulnerable was not her strong suit (after she had opened up to him about things that deeply hurt and while she was going to therapy); ignored her express wishes about the shears because he knew better than she did; lied about that; proposed to her while keeping the secret that he had killed her grandfather; and preferred to burn away his memories rather than tell her the truth. And literally packed his bags and prepared to leave her without a note or even a text, until he decided at the last second not to.

Off the top of my head.

(Everything that you say Rumple did, Hook did, only worse, plus those little extra goodies like attempting suicide to get her attention.)

B) Belle wasn’t trying to get away from her husband? What was she doing then?

To live her life separately from him. She came into Granny’s, the most public place in SB, and wanted a room; she said she and Rumple weren’t together “at the moment.” She did not hide from Rumple, and even after Rumple was an asshole about magicking her on the ship, she said she wanted Rumple and Gid to heal their relationship, and gave Rumple the sonogram as a peace offering.

C) Emma and Hook manipulated Belle into sending away her baby

No really…what? They did nothing at all! What are you talking about? Belle decided to do that because “Rumple will never stop.” Emma even says “Belle what are you doing?”. It was because of Rumple that Belle believed she had to send away her baby to keep him safe.

Emma: Gold did the right thing today. That doesn't mean he'll do the same tomorrow.

Hook: Emma's right. And we have to make sure that he can't use that magic on you, and we will.

Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=29985

Hook and Emma BOTH KNOW that Rumple would never do anything to hurt Belle. They have BOTH concocted entire schemes based on the fact that Rumple would do anything to save her. So, right here, they are either lying to manipulate her, or honestly being extraordinarily dimwitted and amnesiac. THEY were the ones who put it in her head that Rumple would still use the dust on her; had they not, maybe Belle wouldn’t have panicked and would actually have had time to find out that the Queen was the one who dosed her.

D)  Gideon has shown no attempt to hurt or kill Emma since reforging the sword “Gideon has the He’ll go after the Savior once again. I just hope there’s enough time that we can stop him before he does.” Rumple said this to Belle and yet neither did anything to warn Emma that he had the sword back. And he did basically kidnap someone Emma loves in order to blackmail her into helping him so he’s definitely messing with her life.

“Messing with her life” is not killing her. And Belle can’t have had much opportunity to tell Emma anything, since after the first attempt on her life Emma blithely went out canoeing with Henry, and when she came back she was busy snooping through her lover’s stuff, getting engaged to a liar, and showing off her ring (and then moping over thinking her fiancé had left her because for the VERY FIRST TIME in their relationship she called him on lying to her).

EDIT: I wrote this bit before Sunday’s ep and didn’t look it over before posting. As it turns out, Gideon DID have a convoluted plan to kill Emma, one that involved banishing her boyfriend, starting a business and sending out flyers, learning mixology, listening to Emma’s woes and gathering her tears, getting her to trust him, leading her to an abandoned house and opening a portal, summoning a GIANT-ASS spider to engulf her in webs so as to kill her very slowly, and using that to charge the sword to free the Black Fairy. (All of this done because the BlF was controlling him via stolen heart.) But c’mon--how could ANYONE, let alone Belle, come up with something so ridonkulous? To her knowledge, Gideon wasn’t using the sword to come after Emma (and see above about Emma’s unavailability, which doesn’t change).

E) Snow had virtually no interaction with Belle They had a conversation at the hospital about babies and was the only person there for her at her first ultrasound and it’s also where Belle talked about wanting to give a picture to Rumple.

Yes, one brief conversation is, as I said, virtually no interaction. If they hadn’t encountered each other at all, I would have said they had no interaction, sans “virtually.” 

in fact, Snow’s last major effect on Belle was selling her out to Hyde

That’s funny because since Rumple ‘gave’ the town to Hyde and then Jekyll almost killed Belle, doesn’t that mean Rumple sold Belle out to Hyde? That’s an interesting thought.

That’s funny, because the reason Rumple “gave” the town to Hyde is that Hyde kidnapped Belle after Snow sold her out.

but instead did nothing to hurt her and allowed her pirate to live when he could have easily killed him

They were Dark Ones - he wouldn’t have been able to hurt them

He had the Dark One-destroying sword Excalibur and at one point had it against Killy’s throat. In fact, if he had wanted to kill Emma, Rumple could have quite likely taken her by surprise when she asked for it back and instead of giving it to her, run her through.

according to Eddy himself, a “crime of opportunity” when Emma had a plan that Rumple warned her was risky and could have ended with all of them banished to hell.

Well, of course it was a crime of opportunity - what else would you call it? He learned Emma was going to sacrifice herself so he took advantage of it.

I brought that up because you said in your original post that Rumple was “paying Emma back” for kidnapping him and threatening Belle by enchanting the sword. He didn’t; they were separate things.

And it’s a plan that would have worked and did work until Rumple took it. And he didn’t say it could have ended with all of them banished to hell. He said the sword chooses its miracles…after he already poured the potion on the sword ...

He explained the “banished to hell” part earlier; that’s how everyone knew what the marks meant:

Emma: What is that?

Mr Gold: That... is the mark of Charon.

Henry: Charon? He was the ferryman in the old myths. He navigated a boat... to the Underworld.

Mr Gold: Smart lad. You see, the Dark Ones only have a... a temporary pass into this world, like a like a tourist visa. The only way for them to stay... is to trade places with living souls.

Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=143&t=24162

Rumple knew better than anyone that Excalibur had been ostentatiously NOT choosing Emma for the entire season; what reason did he have to believe her plan would work? (Let alone that Killy would change his mind at the last minute.)

They do, however, regularly demand his help to get them out of their jams, or simply steal his stuff when his back is turned.

When and like what?

Well, a partial list off the top of my head (not counting all the times in FTL flashbacks):

Season 2

David wanting a tracking potion to find Jefferson (I think it was Jeff).

Regina wanted to make her magic work.

Regina wanted someone to stop Cora.

Emma tried to blame him for Archie’s death, then asked for a way to find/prove the killer.

Snowing got him to locate Regina after Gremara kidnapped her.

The Charmings tried to get him to stop Regina’s failsafe.

Season 3 (note that he was inaccessible most of the season—alone on the island, dead, in a cage)

The Charmings wanted him to find out what was wrong with Henry (or something like that; they accosted Rumbelle coming out of the shop).

They went to him to find out how to defeat Zelena when she had him in a cage (and they LEFT him there, with Snow saying that Z had done “nothing that can’t be undone” to him).

(Note: I’m not counting him make the dreamshade cure for David, since I think it was Neal who asked for it.)

Season 4A

Hook and David wanted him to save Emma from the ice mountain.

Hook blackmailed him into locating the Snow Queen (so that Hook and Elsa could get themselves captured).

Hook blackmailed him into getting back his hand.

Something I can’t remember that required Belle to ask nicely for the whole gang.

Emma wanted a spell to remove her powers.

I’m hazy, but I think they got him to make the portal to Arendelle?

Season 4B (n/a since he was never available/in the shop)

Season 5A (note that he was inaccessible by virtue unconscious/held prisoner most of the time)

Emma wanted Excalibur to pull off her plan.

Emma blackmailed him into going to the Underworld.

Season 5B (note that he was inaccessible most of the time)

Emma went to him after Hades had been released to ask for Rumple’s help.

Season 6A

The EQ wanted some doodad/key to the Untold Stories.

David wanted info about his dad.

The whole group wanted help with Jekyll’s potion.

Times they outright stole from him:

Taking the Caddy back from NYC.

Emma and Killy taking the sword from the shop.

Those are, again, off the top of my head. I probably missed a few.

Does this list help jog your memory?