#A lot of the mental health stuff is the same

[tea-and-secrets]

i think my favorite sport is turning me into a masochist LOL, my friends will know who this is but idc, its mostly a joke but like not entirely?

so basically, i do aerial silks. i started around 6 months ago (most likely 8 when this is posted) after spending ~7 YEARS in a very inactive, mostly sedentary lifestyle due to some health conditions (physical and mental) that made it very hard to get motivation to do any exercise. however, i’d ALWAYS wanted to so something like aerial silks or pole dancing etc because it looked so pretty and fun, and my mom recently found a place that does classes.

when first starting, it was genuinely agony. like i couldn’t do any of the moves because the sheer pressure on my limbs was so much that i couldn’t go upside-down for more than a few seconds. however, for some godforsaken reason (/lighthearted) i decided to stick with it, and over time it stopped hurting, and i started building some muscle! it took weeks to start being able to do the simplest things (ie. diaper pose), but now i can do them easily.

well anyways, to get to the point, ive been very much recently finding myself obsessing over it. not in an unhealthy “i need to improve myself” way but in a “i love how this makes me feel” kind of way. and one of the things ive found i really like about it is the pain that it gives—again, i dont mean in a self-harm way, but in the satisfied endorphins and sore muscles kind of way. it just feels so good when the lesson ends and all my joints are loose and achy.

and yeah lol, ive started to associate that kind of pain and aching and stretched muscles with the good feeling that aerial silks gives me, and i love doing it. it’s such a lovely sport, and is so satisfying, and im starting to think that those associations are turning me into some sort of masochist LMFAO

i love doing it, i love lying upside down and letting my spine decompress, and stretching my limbs and letting myself go weightless in the silks, and the ache of my core when i pull myself up into a diaper climb, and the way my calf muscles have become so strong after months of hard work.

anyways i guess the lesson is that if traditional exercise isnt for you, try alternative exercise!! things like aerial silks, rebounding, bungee fitness, etc, because at least for me the issue was largely mental because traditional exercise didn’t give me the dopamine to keep at it and this new kind is! and of course it isnt for everyone, however i will say that as a fairly fat person myself aerial silks is actually quite accessible. a rigging can (or should be able to) hold 700+ pounds, and because of the extra weight you end up gaining quite a lot of muscle because you have to put in more work to pull yourself up (same reason why fat people often have VERY strong calves, because walking takes more energy than for someone who weighs less)

i just. really love the classes, i love the teachers, and i love seeing all the regulars, and having people who know my name and smile when they see me feels so good. idk, im a lot happier now, i can focus better on schoolwork, and im mad that my mom was right and that exercise DOES make you feel good lol. a lot of that stuff is due to being on medications that help me with my conditions but the exertion of silks definitely helps as well.

er, ted talk over, anyways! highly highly recommend aerial silks, it hurts like hell but if you’re crazy like me you’ll start to like it LMFAO, have a good day

.

[stillness-in-green]

What do you think of shouto's arc? As a person who uh. used to be pretty similar to his "earlyroki" incarnation for lots of similar reasons I find it really reassuring that he gets to be a happy person who is generally content(somewhat negated by the treatment of Endeavor in the story admittedly lol)

Hey, anon; I'm touched that you'd come to me, a dedicated endgame hater with a question like this. I appreciate the interest and/or faith! This reply is going to talk a lot about the family in general and the broader themes of the story, as well as Endeavor and Dabi and their own arcs, but I've tried to keep tethering it back to Shouto throughout and at the end.

Shouto isn’t a character I devote a ton of thought to—I’m so-so on most of the Heroes at the best of times, and Dabi is an easy pick for my least favorite of the core League.  For a long while, Endeavor actually was my favorite of the Todorokis because I found him the most interesting—that went out the window in the last war, alas, as it became clear that the narrative had no intention of meaningfully grappling with his repeated failures to work with and prioritize his family despite his repeated promises to do so.

As to Shouto, though, I suppose I have three major thoughts: that he does okay for himself, that he got a bit shafted all the same by the decision not to kill Endeavor, and that I wish I felt more confident that his arc had any impact at all on his opinions about the Hero System.

(Hit the jump.)

Taking the last of those first, as it’s the point that involves Shouto himself the least, the systemic problems of the setting were always my primary interest with regard to the conflict between Heroes and Villains.�� Because I was invested in relatively few of the Heroes, and also because the story was pretty assiduous about not letting the League kill off any characters the reader could reasonably be expected to give a shit about anyway, I never bought into stuff like Deku getting righteously fired up about the people Shigaraki had hurt.  For the most part, I cared about the Hero/Villain interpersonal dynamics only insomuch as they served as a path for the Heroes to recognize the scope of the real issues they needed to be addressing, and the Villains as—while dangerous—ultimately victims of those issues.

Unfortunately for me, the Todoroki plotline is ultimately treated by the overarching narrative as being, by and large, self-contained, unconnected and unreflective of the broader society in which it plays out.  Thus, while Uraraka connects Toga’s tragedy to the lack of acceptance of her quirk and devotes herself to finding some way to correct for that problem going forward, Shouto and Enji don’t make that same connection between Dabi’s tragedy and the problems in Hero Society that led to it.  Touya is, to be sure, primarily a victim of Enji’s choices, with Dabi being the ultimate result, but while no one forced Enji to make the choices he made, they were not made in a vacuum.

By my count, there are three ways in which the structure of Hero Society failed Todoroki Touya and his siblings, only one of which impacted them directly.  Firstly, Hero Society demonstrates a studied lack of concern for the mental health of orphaned children, which meant that young Enji was never going to get appropriate amounts of grief counselling, meaning there was nothing to inhibit his spiraling obsession with strength.[1]  Secondly, that obsession was given a perfect frame to build on in the form of the Hero ranking system.  And thirdly, we have no evidence that the Todoroki family was so much as mildly probed by law enforcement or regulatory bureaus about the string of accidents and tragedies facing it.[2]

1: From the Shimura Kotarou of forty goddamn years ago to the Izumi Kouta of the present, there is zero reason to believe that Enji would ever have gotten professional psychological help following his father’s death.

2: One might also add a fourth consideration, that being the whole-ass Himura situation that led to Rei feeling her abusive marriage was as inescapable as it was.  Perhaps if she felt less trapped by her family’s need—itself entirely a result of quirk-based bigotry, remember, so that’s a fifth societal consideration!—then maybe she would have been more willing to try taking the kids and leaving, or seeking help from authorities.  My focus here, however, is more on things that could have directly circumvented Endeavor's abuse, so I’ll leave the other factors here.

But BNHA doesn’t probe any of this, either, nor does Shouto.  The only people other than Endeavor who are remitted any scraps of responsibility about Dabi’s entire existence are All For One (for saving Touya’s life!) and Rei, Fuyumi and Natsuo, collectively given a few moments in which they regret not doing more. Otherwise, Endeavor is allowed whole and unadulterated blame for the situation.  It’s not something Shouto blames on any outside parties or circumstances, and so, once it’s resolved, he makes no efforts to try to address any of the very obvious contributing factors.

While it’s very much to Shouto's credit that he put so much proactive effort and thought into stopping “his” Villain without causing further harm—by far the most forethought of any of the students with Villain foils!—I’m not as positive about how he just lets everyone but his rotten father off the hook.  It’s a problem I think is less about Shouto as a person and more about the meta-narrative’s sudden third-act unwillingness to engage in systemic critique, but a problem it remains, given that it’s the systemic critique that I really wanted.

Moving on, I also think Shouto’s arc is severely hindered by Horikoshi changing his mind about not killing off Endeavor.  I’m not one of those people who thought Endeavor had to die to make up for his crimes, or who desperately wanted him dead because he’s an abuser and All Abusers Should Die, Actually.  Solely looking at it from the perspective of Endeavor’s arc, I think he should have lived!  It’s much more interesting for him to live and have to grapple with the consequences of his actions!

…But that would require that he actually have to grapple with said consequences.  Which he doesn’t.  And if he was not going to, and the story was not going to address him not going to, then yeah, absolutely, he should have died.  What’s the point of him surviving if he’s going to face no story-impacting consequences?  Feeling sad and bad about it, and getting yelled at once or twice by nameless bit characters, do not count as story-impacting consequences, I’m afraid.

More to the point, though, that’s Endeavor’s arc.  Endeavor’s arc, however, badly needed to take a backseat to Shouto’s arc, and probably Dabi’s, too!  While I think Endeavor could have survived without his arc torpedoing the arcs of his sons, that’s definitely not the story we got.  And I think this is in large part because Horikoshi didn’t change the story enough to account for Endeavor’s survival.

The echoes of that original story are all over the third act.  Consider:

Endeavor does nothing of consequence in the Edgy Deku arc.  His press conference doesn’t prevent societal breakdown; he limply defers to Deku in ways that let him remain active while ensuring those actions have no impact on the plot; he makes no major contributions to Hawks and Jeanist’s talks about the Villains; he’s not involved with the plans for the second war; and finally, we learn nothing from the hospital flashbacks that we couldn’t have gotten from any of the other family members, instead.      

We get early hints about too many quirks causing mental breakdowns, and this foreshadowing is fulfilled in Spinner’s corroded perceptions at the hospital—but miraculously, Lady Nagant has no problem at all with having an extra quirk.  Sure, she’s only got the one extra, and maybe it doesn’t happen every time, but…  Isn’t it a little odd that she comes out of nowhere, with very minimal foreshadowing, an elaborate HPSC backstory that Hawks shares, and the combination of quirks she’s packing is one that precisely replicates Hawks’s “long-distance flying attacker” shtick?  It’s pitifully easy to imagine a scenario in which Endeavor’s death in the first war leads to Hawks going rogue.  Also, while I don’t know exactly what circumstances would lead to him and Deku fighting, I do think Deku’s platitudinous speech about light and dark and reaching out to people feels far more tailored to a Hawks who only just went rogue than it does a woman betrayed by her own bosses who hates shallow platitudes, especially coming right on the heels of Deku rescuing Overhaul in a way that strongly echoes Hawks’s reflexive rescue of Twice but carries no inherent meaning for Lady Nagant.[3]       3: See here for the whole rant about this, but the short version is that it’s goddamn absurd that Lady Nagant hates platitudes and shoots at Overhaul on the assumption that Deku will have to save him, only for her heart to be changed by Deku’s platitudes and saving of Overhaul.      

Speaking of Hawks, the whole matter of Twice’s death goes less than nowhere, which makes one wonder what was the point of including it as an ethical dilemma at all? The public didn’t care, Hawks faced no consequences for it, and he was never forced to change his stance or grapple with his decision in any way, to the point that when he’s faced with the same situation later, he makes the exact same judgement, and this is something the narrative doesn’t even seem to notice, much less address.  Toga’s very personal feelings of hatred for Hawks get relegated to a single shallow knife slash from a clone that doesn’t even manage to leave a goddamn scar.  And all this lack of consequence leaves Hawks free to be reduced to nothing but an Endeavor Supporter in the final arc, possibly because whatever his arc could have been was incompatible with Endeavor’s survival, leaving Hawks with no final arc of his own but also no established place in anyone else’s.      

Endeavor’s dream about the family eating dinner around the table but him not being there, on top of Shouto’s stated intention to eat soba with his brother—seems like foreshadowing for an ending in which the family eats dinner around a table, doesn’t it!  But because Endeavor lives, Natsuo cuts contact in a way he’d have had no reason to do if Endeavor had died, and so there can be no family dinner, and Shouto’s soba thing has to be relegated to a frankly pretty thin line of dialogue about mutual favorite foods rather than an actual shared meal.      

The whole thing about buying/building a new house for Rei and the kids to live in so they can be away from the bad memories in Endeavor’s house.  Does that happen?  It kinda seems like that doesn’t happen, given that Rei seems perfectly happy to be pushing Enji around in a wheelchair at the end!      

The strange replay tape finale version of Shoto beating Dabi, where he does the exact same move twice, just once alone and once in the presence of family.  Almost like Horikoshi only came up with the one idea?      

The fact that the family promises to deal with Touya together but then Endeavor not only spends a chunk of time running from Dabi when he does arrive, but even when he does finally try to talk, he can’t because Dabi’s brain is so overboiled that he’s incapable of rational conversation—even though he was having rational conversation with Shouto some five minutes prior!  And then it’s Shouto and the family’s ice that actually save Dabi from those consuming flames, with Endeavor contributing nothing to that finale—huh, almost like the family saving Touya wasn’t written to include Enji to begin with!      

The Geten as a Himura reveal feels super vestigial.  I like it, mind you!  I like it a lot!  And I don’t know exactly how it would have factored into a version of the endgame in which Endeavor died, save that the Dabi-Geten combo really feels like The Final Boss Scenario That Wasn’t for Shouto—one guy with fire hotter than his who hates their father and Shouto personally, and one guy who can take control of any ice around him and stop it from melting and who hates the other side of Shouto’s family![4]  But instead Geten just winds up in prison and the Himura reveal does nothing but handwave Dabi having latent ice powers, which didn’t need a Himura reveal to justify it since we already knew Dabi had a physical compatibility with ice!  And even, via Shouto himself, that the mixing of ice and fire could produce a quirk with elements of both!  Geten being a Himura simply feels like a relic of a story in which Geten had more of a role to play, and while that may be my bias because I feel like the entire MLA was set up for a bigger role than they wound up having, it’s still easy to wonder if part of the whole, “We’ll deal with Touya as a family,” promise would have involved facing the other side of the family’s damage as well. 4: While also espousing a writ large version of Endeavor’s own Strength Is All That Matters mentality and still being a victim of eugenicist machinations masterminded by Shouto’s relatives!  Truly it is a mystery to me how Geten could just get defeated by Cementoss when he’s such a perfect distillation of so many of the issues swirling in and behind Shouto’s family situation. He even connects to a potential systemic critique in his ties to the MLA, who are practically nothing but systemic critiques of Hero Society.

And so on and so forth.

Shouto is a major character: by far one of the most prominent student characters, Deku’s first real victory in terms of changing someone’s heart, a foil for one of the central Villains, and with a profound insight into the kinds of damage the current system encourages and then willfully ignores.  He desperately needed an arc that centered him and his perspective.  But that arc also has to contend with Dabi, and Dabi as-written simply cannot convincingly prioritize Shouto when Endeavor is still alive.

There are certainly signs that Dabi did care for his other family members at one point in time, most prominently that he thinks remorsefully about how he acted towards them when he wakes up after Sekoto Peak, and emphasizes that he has to apologize to them.  But when the story so prioritizes Dabi’s obsession with Endeavor, to the point that he’s gleefully endangering the rest of the family’s lives and peace by sending dangerous Villains to their door, airing videos outing Endeavor as a domestic abuser, and talking about Shouto like he wants to leave him disemboweled on the Endeavor Agency’s front stoop, then that obsession has to be dealt with in some way before I’m remotely capable of believing that anyone other than Endeavor can get through to him.

So, Endeavor could have died, which would have neatly deprived Dabi of that driving focus that kept him going—what does he do without it?  That’s a question Shouto could have given him an answer for.

Endeavor could have fallen into a coma, leaving genre savvy readers confident he’d eventually pull through but the characters themselves in a state of muddled emotions about when or if he’d ever regain consciousness—that’s a half-measure, but I like it better than the half-measure we got.[5]

5: And heck, maybe we could have gotten Dabi trying to invade Central Hospital alongside Spinner and the heteromorph army, since that plot included a number of small nods to the Todoroki plot anyway via Spinner reflecting on Dabi’s unstoppable will and Shouji on Shouto’s strength of character.  Also, you know, more chances to poke at Dabi and Shouto’s tendency towards calling heteromorphs derisive animal names.  Probably not a scenario that does the heteromorph mob scene any favors, I’ll grant, but it would be hard to make it worse.

Heck, I could even see a version of the story where the narrative was simply more cynical about Endeavor’s ability to prioritize his professed atonement.  All his actions in the story as we have it show him continuing to prioritize his Hero duties despite his repeated claims that he intends to prioritize his family.  If the story actually recognized that contradiction, it could build Dabi up to a point of screaming frustration that I could, hypothetically, see Shouto breaking through.  Endeavor could still be trying, still be sincere, but if his ego or a rational decision to prioritize the lives of strangers over those of his family mean he cannot ever be counted upon to truly put his family first, then maybe that would be something the rest of the family could tackle.  Alternatively, the whole story could have had a mindset more like Natsuo’s, with the goal being to cut Endeavor off because his desire to atone, regardless of its sincerity, does not entitle him to a presence in the lives of those he hurt.  But none of is an option when the story itself is cheering for Endeavor the way BNHA does.

For Shouto’s arc to be at its best, something needed to give.  Dabi needed to be more open to the rest of the family from the start, or Endeavor’s desire for atonement needed to be complicated or stymied in some way that made it not feasibly attainable, be it his narcissism, his health, or the whole story’s outlook on abusers trying to atone and whose perspective to center in a story involving such abuse.  But with the Dabi we have and the Endeavor the story insists on, Shouto’s arc itself is what wound up giving.  It certainly has its moments, but I can’t imagine a world in which it wouldn’t have been far, far better served by Endeavor kicking the bucket as originally planned, allowing the brothers to confront each other, properly and fully, with Shouto the primary driver in saving Touya rather than having to constantly fight for screentime in his own finale.

That all said, I can definitely see the perspective that Shouto is just one kid from a shitty family situation and he does not deserve being called upon to solve the problems of the whole world and wrangle his family damage for the rest of time.  It’s not what I would have prioritized, in that I have pretty steep meta-narrative demands for a class of kids that we’re being told collectively became the greatest heroes, but from a more grounded, realistic, in-story, individual frame of mind, I think it’s wonderful that Shouto is exploring who he is as a person separate from his family issues and the career he semi-chose when he was in pre-K.

No sarcasm here; I do actually quite like his last scene.  I have some quibbles with the framing—I don't like that the rankings still exist, and I think he should just be allowed to go on sabbatical rather than trying to fit time for self-improvement/self-exploration classes in between Hero work, if we’re really meant to believe that the Villain incident rate is declining.  But just in concept, taking pottery classes and cooking classes and figuring himself out? Good for him!  That’s wonderful!  He did his best and he deserves every inch of it.

That is all to say, what I want from a fictional character in a relatively moralistic narrative is not what I would want from a real person in a situation anything like Shouto's, and while I don't love what we got in the former regard, I’m glad that people who empathize/identify with him can take comfort in the ending he did get. You, anon, and any others to whom that applies, deserve all that and more.

Thanks for the ask!

[let-there-be-tboys]

TWO MONTHS ON T 🎈🎉🎁‼️‼️‼️

i can’t believe it’s been two months already, this is insane!! here are some updates on all the changes that have been happening:

dosage: i’ve been at 25mg/week, but i dropped down to 20mg a few weeks ago! (that’s .1ml of 200mg/ml T)!

voice: i'm DEFINITELY cracking more! more so when i speak, a little less when i sing. i think my tonal center is shifting a bit lower already, so i’m gonna have to figure out how to speak so that it resonates lower in my chest, because talking high pitched like i normally do is starting to wear my voice out. it’s nice, honestly! even the cracks :-)

i haven’t lost or gained any range, and i’ve been working my belting voice a lot more and it feels the same as usual. my high classical register has been getting more tired more easily though. i have noticed that i have more radical ‘good singing days’ and ‘bad singing days’. i always did but it’s more noticeably one or the other than before

physical changes: bottom growth has slowed down a liiiiittle but is still definitely happening. Rapidly. i have decided i like it a lot!!!!!! it’s really cool and makes me feel really good about something that used to make me very dysphoric!!!

the peach fuzz on my upper lip has gotten slightly darker and thicker, and there are sparse dark hairs sprouting on my chin. nothing noticeable when i’m not looking closely in the mirror, but they’re there! i don’t know how to feel yet, i’m gonna wait and see if they start to fill out more.

my skin is actually getting softer instead of rougher like it should, especially on my face, but i think that’s cause i got a new skin cream and moisturizer. similarly, i’m noticing the same amount/a little less acne than usual, but i’ve recently started washing my face twice a day and using skincare and stuff so that’s likely why.

still working out and eating protein and stuff. chronic pain is painful but i’ve also been exerting myself a lot so it’s a reasonable amount for the circumstances. i’d like to lose a little bit of weight, just so that i can gain it back in the right places faster, instead of waiting for my existing fat to redistribute, so i’m gonna work on that!

also my cheeks are a little puffier! apparently a normal thing in the first few months of T. i don’t dislike it but i’m definitely excited for them to slim back down into a more defined cheekbone.

orientation stuff: yes i absolutely like girls. i’ve come to the conclusion that i previously did like girls, just had a really strong preference for boys, and now T has shifted me towards the center

also, i may not be asexual. i’m…probably not asexual. i don’t really know. at the very least, i know for sure i’m leaning more positive as opposed to how i was before (more negative/repulsed). it is possible that some of my dysphoria being alleviated has something to do with this. hm. we’ll figure that out later!

mental health: i’ve felt pretty good recently!!! i feel a lot more comfortable and confident in my body and it’s definitely influencing my behavior. i’m more comfortable dressing how i want, and presenting more femininely when i want, and it brings me euphoria even in public. i’ve always loved being fem every now and then, and T is helping me find the most happiness in that.

i can’t really tell cause no emotional permanence, but i think i’ve been less anxious and depressed lately. which is always great!!!

it still feels unreal that i’m on T, but lately it’s started to sink in just a little bit more. it’s crazy and i LOVE it!! i love it i love it i love it!!!!! even the changes i was really worried about are bringing me joy!!!

it’s scary sometimes, changing so much so fast. it’s scary looking in the mirror and not fully recognizing who you are anymore. but it’s not in a bad way. it’s like how you look in the mirror after getting a really good haircut for the first time in a while:

oh! there you are!

[rotationalsymmetry]

Every time I've tried to interpret some random stranger's confrontational discourse in the best possible light I've regretted it, so this is probably a mistake. But, trying again.

This might not be about "too sick to go outside." It might be about "too depressed to notice benefit from things that normally make people feel better" or something along those lines.

life actually gets better when you leave the house consistently btw like im serious

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

i can't tell if i'm just not paying attention or if mouthwashing just doesn't make any sense

[mygoodfriendjohnathanharker]

Fixed the door that Johnathan had slipped through, not letting that happen again!

[telesodalite]

I need to be weirder about the scavengers and cannibalism...

[rawliverandgoronspice]

the incredibly delicate tension between: we need art to feed us and connect us and make us feel like things have a purpose, and: art is slowly but surely making us more complacent and cowardly

[angelpuns]

I'm supposed to be asleep but I'm thinking thoughts and this is all it has culminated as:

POV you're me trying to logic/reason away what are probably actual symptoms of a mental health...thing BUT IT ARGUABLY IS ONLY PROVING IT MORE??

[non-un-topo]

Daily November crying sessions start today

[doodlingwren]

Hiatus

I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.

Thank you for your patience ❤

Wren

[destiny-in-the-universe]

Well. This is kind of embarrassing and I’m struggling just to write this but it seems I’ve hit a block on things I want to write- it feels genuinely like I’m about to crash into the deepest icy waters that exist, and I’ve honestly my mental limit this week and it’s only a damn tuesday; feels like I am not all here atm, and I just don’t know if I can carry out any ideas or plans right now

You might still see me reblogging and posting smaller content for a few days- or it’ll go away tomorrow, but fuck I just feel not myself?

I’m deeply sorry, it’s either burn-out or I’m just drained and need a bit to recover, ‘m not going anywhere. I will be back, I’m just… tired is all

~ Mod Danny (🐾) / Co-Front: Rivaille, Ray, Saiki

[polarfarina]

I guess I'm just confused that fans of watcher are willing to pay sometimes $100 or more in ticket prices to see the live shows with Shane and Ryan but then $6 is really offensive and a betrayal of an ask... like one mystery files hoodie costs more than a year of their (currently announced price of the) site subscription. Don't get me wrong because I do NOT think the paywall was the right decision or announced the right way, I don't think it's going to work. But. I have seen and heard several people say they buy tickets and merch, why can't that be enough? $6 is too expensive! But I'm sitting here confused because. The tickets and merch are way more than six dollars..???? I'm really really confused about that point. It's not that I don't understand that $6 can be unaffordable, it's just... so many people say they can't spend $6 while in the same breath have been boasting about how so far they've been able to spend money on concerts and patreon and buying shirts and blind boxes and the premium YouTube subscription because creators get a bigger chunk of the money that way (watcher should be GLAD they supported them btw!); but SIX DOLLARS? They can't pay that! It's odd. Is all I'm saying.

On the flip side, I saw people saying that because they live outside of the us they would get charged a double tax that they couldn't afford due to having to transfer money overseas; I feel like that's a really good point. Once this goes behind a paywall, international audiences will have a much harder time accessing content moving forward, if they can at all (not every country plays nice with PayPal). Even if they can afford the $6, there will be a heap of fees on top of it - or there won't even be a way to get the money to the service in the first place.

Absolutely the fact that Watchers' content is suddenly becoming paywalled seemingly immediately moving forward with little warning is a big shock and at first when watching the video, I didn't think they were serious. Having witnessed a successful launch of a YouTube channel into a paid subscription site with the exact price that watcher is asking for... they are not doing it right. Not for their audience. But people are so so focused on how expensive six dollars is and not on the other implications of this decision, which just... am I in the wrong here?? There's a bigger conversation i feel could be had but everyone is really really focusing on the BETRAYAL of six dollars... and I feel like I'm going crazy because that wasn't even in my first handful of thoughts about why this was a bad idea

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

In turn, Randall squeezed her hand back, as he drew in a deep breath. Despite his best efforts, clinging to the notion that his parents would at the very least be understanding once everything was laid out on the table for them, seeing that Emily really meant him no harm and that they truly were in love, there was no denying that growing cold pit in the bottom of his stomach, worsened only by her suggestion. A part of him sort of wanted to (however lamely) protest, instead suggest they save it for another day, and just enjoy themselves for now...

...he knew, in his heart, she was right. They would have to tell them at some point, and it was better to do it now rather than later; Randall had never been one keen to lie to his parents, and he knew the guilt of keeping such a massive secret from them would eat him up from the inside out. Thus, it was just better to get it out of the way-for both his and Emily's ease of mind.

"You're right," he sighed, as he brought her closer, wrapping his arm around her as he nodded, "They...they do deserve to know. I'll, uh...I'll give them a call in a little while, tell 'em when I'll be home, and that you'll be with me. We'll...we'll tell them together."

He punctuated this with another loving kiss, this one pressed to her cheek as he reassured her, "It'll be alright, Emily."

[ourceliumnetwork]

people?? being niceys to me???? for no reason except loves me?????????????

it's more likely than i think, apparently.

[flowerygn]

so, i moved out of my appartement