#A lot of the mental health stuff is the same
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rotationalsymmetry · 2 years ago
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Every time I've tried to interpret some random stranger's confrontational discourse in the best possible light I've regretted it, so this is probably a mistake. But, trying again.
This might not be about "too sick to go outside." It might be about "too depressed to notice benefit from things that normally make people feel better" or something along those lines.
life actually gets better when you leave the house consistently btw like im serious
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it’s sad that in 2025, people call someone who’s honest about mental health and secure in his masculinity as mentally weak. really makes you think where did we go wrong
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parkitaco · 22 days ago
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why don't you like heartstopper?
hi anon my apologies u sent this a while ago but the movie announcement has me Thinking things so here we are ! (adding a read more here so heartstopper enjoyers can feel free to scroll without being bombarded by my Thoughts)
to be honest, i don’t dislike the show *that* much! i thought the first season was super cute, but around s2 i started getting bored with it. it’s nothing against the show itself or people who do like it, and i haven’t read the books so maybe there’s a facet of it that i’m missing out on because of it, but it’s very much a show that’s designed to outline as many different lgbtq and mental health topics as possible and explain why It’s All Okay 👍 😃 which is fine! i understand why for a younger queer person still figuring themself out, it might be really helpful to see those topics actually talked about on tv. however, since i’m not at that stage of life anymore, i start to get annoyed by all of the Perfectionism of it, because what i want out of media i engage in is a story that is Interesting, and heartstopper just isn’t that to me. everyone is too understanding about everything, and can express their feelings in perfect Therapy Words, and like, i don’t know. my favorite book is the goldfinch. i want stories about gay people who suck and are mean to each other and go through decades of homoerotic angst before they even begin to try to unpack it. i want the story to be about something Besides just the fact that the characters are gay and mentally ill.
“but it’s good queer representation!” yeah, it’s representation and it’s important. but i think queer people deserve to see themselves represented in stories that are complex and meaningful and actuallt feel Real, too, and i think that people who act like this show is the end all be all of gay rep need to take a second to think about how maybe it’s Not a good thing for the only media about gay people we have to be About Being Gay. i think heartstopper has a very clear message that many people need to hear, but for me personally? i don’t like when my media tries to teach me something. there’s a difference between having themes and messages that make you Think vs having a Moral Of The Story that is shoved down ur throat from day one.
also, it’s just fun to be a hater.
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idiosyncraticrednebula · 10 days ago
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I can't stand people who shame others for being collectors. "Man-children" my ass. These are people who have PASSION and a sense of wonder and adventure.
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egregiousderp · 1 month ago
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We’re on day six straight of “wake up in the middle of the night/morning hypervigilant and struggle to sleep again” which means we’re reaching the season of Perma Tension and Overthink.
Can’t wait to get through the next two days of work so I can start my week of suspension.
#personal skuun#there was money missing on my station is the upshot#and it’s been a really long time since I’ve made a mistake of that magnitude and yes it DOES happen#but it also looks like it might be coworker’s ADHD setting stuff aside to buy later and forgetting and then we don’t know where or what#I’m like. the third person being suspended for cash loss this month which is also unusual#COULD happen but it could be a lot of things#so I’m just like. trying to keep an eye on her and make sure it’s not a gambling thing#and keeping an eye on my boss who’s letting the chips fall on the off chance it’s him and he’s spreading it around?#I’ve seen both in my time here which makes it impossible to determine without another point on the mental graph#but it’s probably better it happens now#because this is one of two seasonal points where my sleep patterns and mental health run a little thin#and I’m most likely to make those mistakes then#my bills have reduced since the storage unit closure so I just need to kind of. tighten belt and stay home#which I’m good at anyway#although it’s funny because I know half my bosses will be at Pride on Miami Beach this weekend#it’s just two more days of paying close attention and then I can collapse#I’ve stockpiled foods in the pantry to try to make myself keep eating nice things#I have a ton of books and uh. varying. alcohols.#(sorry but sometimes I just want to be sedated and I’m med free running through these seasons.)#I have a beach cleanup event on Tuesday so I won’t be totally isolated/warped with a sense of uselessness/powerlessness#just have to hang on and see if my head clears. same as always.#got to introduce my mom to the flavor of perilla oil today though so that was kind of fun#and I can focus on moving my plants into the room…#maybe paint like I keep saying I’m gonna do and then don’t do#it just feels like my body’s made up of all these uncomfortable lumps#and then on top of it you get dreams that make you wake up crying and unable to get back to sleep for hours? fuck off with that
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Fixed the door that Johnathan had slipped through, not letting that happen again!
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deadn30n · 18 hours ago
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anyway i know it's early af and like everyone is asleep but come plot w/ me on discord so i don't go insane at work when i leave in a lil bit. i'll ACTUALLY be doing writing today ( i swear i'm not blowing air out of my ass this time i PROMISE ) i'm legitimately bullying the shit out of myself when i get home to at least get some stuff done bc i think i'm finally coming out of this funk
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naturally-dazed · 2 days ago
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a psychiatrist told me i should go for one hour walks at least once a week in 2023 and then a couple of shitty things happened and i stopped leaving the house even more for the next 2 years lol i should probably try doing that again
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rawliverandgoronspice · 6 months ago
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the incredibly delicate tension between: we need art to feed us and connect us and make us feel like things have a purpose, and: art is slowly but surely making us more complacent and cowardly
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angelpuns · 2 years ago
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I'm supposed to be asleep but I'm thinking thoughts and this is all it has culminated as:
POV you're me trying to logic/reason away what are probably actual symptoms of a mental health...thing BUT IT ARGUABLY IS ONLY PROVING IT MORE??
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non-un-topo · 2 years ago
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Daily November crying sessions start today
#why. who. how. how tf does my professor think it's okay to assign 4 major assignments in the same amount of weeks + 4-6 readings every week#all of which are ~20 pages.#i've got all that to do and another big assignment for a different class. plus the weekly readings and reflections for that one.#and i have work.#i've stupidly decided to volunteer for a thing on saturday in the hopes of bulking up my resume + rubbing elbows with the administration.#and i have a medical thing on friday and i'll be looped out and likely will have to sleep half the day. probably won't get ANY work done.#what else..... some fairly easy stuff for my other class thank GOD. but a lot of reading and preparing for a few big essays.#november is the month i hate the fucking most. i always lose my mind in november. and no wonder!!!!!!#meanwhile people are bugging me to hang out. i will be in a student-coma until approx. the first week of december. see you then. peace.#oh and my BIL + SIL sitting me down and showing me all their europe honeymoon photos for 2 HOURS last night is also not helping my mood.#fuck you lol#like i'm happy for you and nice photos but also? Fuck You.#if i can offer some dark humour though.....#my fic axis exists because of a legitimate smidge of insanity i experienced last year. it shifted the way i looked at the world and at grie#sooooo i wonder what kind of fic my mind will crank out this time?#i don't think i'm at risk of losing it this year though. doesn't seem that way. but we'll see!#i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health f#rst i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental heal
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doodlingwren · 9 months ago
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Hiatus
I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.
Thank you for your patience ❤
Wren
#EDIT: I've deactivated my IG for a bit because it wasn't helping at all. I'll be back there but I need time#wren text tag#somehow issues from mid July/early August have managed to get worse. Like I'm not even surprised bc I'm used to it but GIRL . What the fuck#“it's finally summer”+“can't wait to draw!” * gets 3 hiatus in a row * maybe drawing or summer isn't really meant to be 🤨🤔#I hate having to log-in to post a hiatus message and then dissapear again when I'm supposed to post my doodles n have fun#Feels like one of those jesters that appears at luncheon to entertain the royal court and then they go missing for the rest of the month#bc I'm trying very hard not to hide in my shell + having a bit more presence here to post my artwork#and somehow I fail at both like fucking heck. How can you be so bad at this.#but in short I won't be here to answer stuff and being silly or whatever people expect me to do#because if you're here for the silly stuff. MAN. I'm am sorry but I don't feel silly at all.#Somebody once said “the horrors are never ending yet I remain silly” but I forgot the “remain silly” part#And if you're here for drawings. I don't even have time and I don't feel like drawing at all. Idk which one is worse#The bakery hangs up the “closed today” so people know they have to go to buy bread somewhere else. Same here. But it won't last a day#idk why the bread analogy. Guess I'm a birb after all#this is also the closest thing to a vent post I will ever write and I managed to say nothing at all. Vagueposting about vent. Good job Wren#tw: vent#tagging in case somebody like me needs to have some tags filtered#the hiatus will go on also a bit longer because the last few weeks my mental health suffered a lot and I know my limit#also this post was queued. If I see I can still be active before publishing I will delete it otherwise see for yourself#also queue doesn't work ig like I programmed this for 9 pm hopefully it will be up by then and not any other random time
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polarfarina · 1 year ago
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I guess I'm just confused that fans of watcher are willing to pay sometimes $100 or more in ticket prices to see the live shows with Shane and Ryan but then $6 is really offensive and a betrayal of an ask... like one mystery files hoodie costs more than a year of their (currently announced price of the) site subscription. Don't get me wrong because I do NOT think the paywall was the right decision or announced the right way, I don't think it's going to work. But. I have seen and heard several people say they buy tickets and merch, why can't that be enough? $6 is too expensive! But I'm sitting here confused because. The tickets and merch are way more than six dollars..???? I'm really really confused about that point. It's not that I don't understand that $6 can be unaffordable, it's just... so many people say they can't spend $6 while in the same breath have been boasting about how so far they've been able to spend money on concerts and patreon and buying shirts and blind boxes and the premium YouTube subscription because creators get a bigger chunk of the money that way (watcher should be GLAD they supported them btw!); but SIX DOLLARS? They can't pay that! It's odd. Is all I'm saying.
On the flip side, I saw people saying that because they live outside of the us they would get charged a double tax that they couldn't afford due to having to transfer money overseas; I feel like that's a really good point. Once this goes behind a paywall, international audiences will have a much harder time accessing content moving forward, if they can at all (not every country plays nice with PayPal). Even if they can afford the $6, there will be a heap of fees on top of it - or there won't even be a way to get the money to the service in the first place.
Absolutely the fact that Watchers' content is suddenly becoming paywalled seemingly immediately moving forward with little warning is a big shock and at first when watching the video, I didn't think they were serious. Having witnessed a successful launch of a YouTube channel into a paid subscription site with the exact price that watcher is asking for... they are not doing it right. Not for their audience. But people are so so focused on how expensive six dollars is and not on the other implications of this decision, which just... am I in the wrong here?? There's a bigger conversation i feel could be had but everyone is really really focusing on the BETRAYAL of six dollars... and I feel like I'm going crazy because that wasn't even in my first handful of thoughts about why this was a bad idea
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theheadlessgroom · 1 year ago
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@beatingheart-bride
In turn, Randall squeezed her hand back, as he drew in a deep breath. Despite his best efforts, clinging to the notion that his parents would at the very least be understanding once everything was laid out on the table for them, seeing that Emily really meant him no harm and that they truly were in love, there was no denying that growing cold pit in the bottom of his stomach, worsened only by her suggestion. A part of him sort of wanted to (however lamely) protest, instead suggest they save it for another day, and just enjoy themselves for now...
...he knew, in his heart, she was right. They would have to tell them at some point, and it was better to do it now rather than later; Randall had never been one keen to lie to his parents, and he knew the guilt of keeping such a massive secret from them would eat him up from the inside out. Thus, it was just better to get it out of the way-for both his and Emily's ease of mind.
"You're right," he sighed, as he brought her closer, wrapping his arm around her as he nodded, "They...they do deserve to know. I'll, uh...I'll give them a call in a little while, tell 'em when I'll be home, and that you'll be with me. We'll...we'll tell them together."
He punctuated this with another loving kiss, this one pressed to her cheek as he reassured her, "It'll be alright, Emily."
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ourceliumnetwork · 10 months ago
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people?? being niceys to me???? for no reason except loves me?????????????
it's more likely than i think, apparently.
#this post brought to you by Grandparent i was forcibly estranged from most of my life suddenly being in it lots more than#the other side of dad's family AND my mom's family combined and like?? actually doing things??? to help me???? without asking for anything#except that i give him a personal update about my life so he doesn't find out on fb#which i can get behind even if my logic makes perfect sense to me as to why i don't do this#(easier to reach a wider crowd of people who can disseminate the information from there + don't have to repeat myself especially if it's#like stuff i'm still really tender or emotional about + keeps me from spilling all the beans about my private life because fuck FB + i don'#tell ANYONE specifically - everyone is getting the news the exact same way so i'm not running into any favoritism nonsense#though i'm getting the impression the fact that a large portion of my life was avoiding looking like i was picking any particular side migh#not be the way a vast majority of people go through life#much to ponder wow my family really is fucking toxic as hell#i can't even accept help offered to me without making sure they know i don't want to inconvenience them at all#which like???? idk which culture THAT'S originally from but boy did my family come from that one#i'm pretty sure i'm supposed to completely reject any assistance completely but like#a bitch got no money i'm not saying no if my granddaddy wants to send me some because of reasons#hilariously learning that this side of the family also has all of the same symptoms and issues i have#and that i had noticed that my mom's side of the family has rampantly which just like#of fucking course my genetic makeup was a perfect storm of Fuckery#i got loose joints and heart problems on BOTH sides on top of pain issues and audhd and mental health issues just smothering the damn tree#i have so many complex emotions regarding my biofamily i s2g lol
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i am at this point very certain that i am legitimately, actually cursed. the only degree to which this is metaphorical is that there's not a word for it that doesn't imply supernatural means, instead of ones that can be explained by science but haven't been yet.
#moogletalks#venting#negative#like. i have much; much; much evidence by now that this isn't a mental illness thing#it doesn't do my related mental illness/trauma stuff any favors!#and it's actually something that over the last few years has *motivated* me to put a lot of good work into addressing that#but this particular pattern has been escalating over the last few years in particular#and by now is a hundred percent reliable#it happens like clockwork in very specific ways that i have observed over and over and over#to the point where i will calmly and in full practicality mode say 'i am going to pay for this before long' and every time i do i am right#when that doesn't occur to me; it happens and i get blindsided by it#and then after a few minutes tops of thinking about it i can go 'god damn it i know exactly what caused this one'#this is happening. it is a fact. and i'm so fucking exhausted of not having words for it or knowing what the mechanism is#fucking i hate this. anyway my health condition from a few months ago has flared up again even worse than before#in retaliation for exactly the same *things* as before#and this time i'm at significantly higher risk for becoming quadruplegic!#and last night in retaliation for a particular thing that had happened less than 24 hours beforehand i've stopped sweating!#and i don't know if it will be permanent!#and as proof that it's in direct proportion to what it's retaliating against#a smaller; less life-changing hope spot than the things that've been retaliated against w/ Extreme Shit; which happened within the last week#led to me finding one of my fish dead the next afternoon#i am not kidding or exaggerating about this. It's Happening#medical stuff cw#health issues cw#pet death cw
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