#I feel like a lot of people these days kind of set themselves up relying on future promises to help them go forward and if their expectation

[polarfarina]

I guess I'm just confused that fans of watcher are willing to pay sometimes $100 or more in ticket prices to see the live shows with Shane and Ryan but then $6 is really offensive and a betrayal of an ask... like one mystery files hoodie costs more than a year of their (currently announced price of the) site subscription. Don't get me wrong because I do NOT think the paywall was the right decision or announced the right way, I don't think it's going to work. But. I have seen and heard several people say they buy tickets and merch, why can't that be enough? $6 is too expensive! But I'm sitting here confused because. The tickets and merch are way more than six dollars..???? I'm really really confused about that point. It's not that I don't understand that $6 can be unaffordable, it's just... so many people say they can't spend $6 while in the same breath have been boasting about how so far they've been able to spend money on concerts and patreon and buying shirts and blind boxes and the premium YouTube subscription because creators get a bigger chunk of the money that way (watcher should be GLAD they supported them btw!); but SIX DOLLARS? They can't pay that! It's odd. Is all I'm saying.

On the flip side, I saw people saying that because they live outside of the us they would get charged a double tax that they couldn't afford due to having to transfer money overseas; I feel like that's a really good point. Once this goes behind a paywall, international audiences will have a much harder time accessing content moving forward, if they can at all (not every country plays nice with PayPal). Even if they can afford the $6, there will be a heap of fees on top of it - or there won't even be a way to get the money to the service in the first place.

Absolutely the fact that Watchers' content is suddenly becoming paywalled seemingly immediately moving forward with little warning is a big shock and at first when watching the video, I didn't think they were serious. Having witnessed a successful launch of a YouTube channel into a paid subscription site with the exact price that watcher is asking for... they are not doing it right. Not for their audience. But people are so so focused on how expensive six dollars is and not on the other implications of this decision, which just... am I in the wrong here?? There's a bigger conversation i feel could be had but everyone is really really focusing on the BETRAYAL of six dollars... and I feel like I'm going crazy because that wasn't even in my first handful of thoughts about why this was a bad idea

[triptychgardener]

What does becoming a furry in Homestuck mean? (In reference to your recent Nepeta post)

Okay so the thing is the way that Homestuck treats furries is honestly kind of equivalent to how it treats queerness. As in, Homestuck initially treats it like a joke or a thing to mostly sneer at. Homestuck was very much part of the wave of disaffected ironic assholes of the Newgrounds and Something Awful type, especially to start with, and that sort of relied on shitting on demographics that were seen as weird and permissible to find cringe and make fun of.

Jade comes onto the scene, and a lot of people sort of groan at her whole furry shtick. Jade is largely, however, just a pretty sincere character, and even though she feels some embarassment over the idea of BEING a furry (i.e. her distaste for the idea of actually wearing a fursuit) she nonetheless begins the admirable refrain of combining the finest qualities of humanity with the elegance and nobility of the animal kingdom.

Her earnest affection for all things anthropomorphic sets up more than just her excellent taste. And as much as she is a bit of a pattern-breaker, one pattern she doesn't break is that of having a Signature Animal.

The four beta kids have a bunch of different things associated with them: the four elements, four items, four musical instruments. But the animals are practically integral to who they are as people and characters.

John's attachment to the bunny is obvious, and helps to spur on one of the most emotional scenes in the comic. (For him. Him specifically.)

It's also something deeply precious to him, as it's a gift from every single one of his friends in a very roundabout fashion!

For Rose, Jaspers is half the reason she decided to play the game in the first place. She missed her dead cat so dearly she was willing to play a game that might end the world for it.

(Pictured above, Rose lying about her feelings, water is wet.)

Dave seems to at least feel some affection for crows, or at least shame when he kills them.

And his fusing to become Davesprite is what allows him to survive as a "copy" of the original Dave. Once again, Dave's disaffected irony giving way to the necessity of becoming a furry to save the world.

And for Jade, of course, Bec.

And it's notable that, by the end of the comic, at least THREE of our main beta kids have merged with their animals, and, in a way, become the best versions of themselves.

Jade obviously gets to achieve her dream of becoming a furry, and in doing so gaining power and agency that she was always denied due to her position in the story.

Davepeta, as I stated in a previous post, is the true Final Form of Dave, the pawn that made it to the end of the board, the only surviving character from Homestuck's "original" timeline, and is truly happy with themselves.

And Jasprose appears to have fully hurled herself through the walls Rose put up around herself to protect her image, and thus absolutely mortifies Rose. She just seems to be having a great time.

Homestuck evolved from a story that was deeply cynical and mean-spirited about furrydom, to a story where three of our four starting protagonists, in their truest most powerful forms, combine the qualities of man and beast to achieve self-actualization. And to bring this back around to queerness, these three characters also happen to be canonically queer. So there's that.

This isn't even to get into how this might relate to Troll Lusii and the concept of "growing up" to be more like one's parent on a planet raised by animals, but that's for another day.

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑, 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝑆𝑒𝑒𝑛

A/N(1): Considering Gaming is pretty much like me in every aspect and a weird sagau-like thing happened to me where, whenever I make a 10 pull, I always get Gaming and now baby boy is C5 already( THREE of them were on the same pull btw), and that we need to spread more love for him... Here I am with this impulsive piece of work that suddenly came to my mind where us, the reader who is the Creator of Teyvat and all the universes, descends only for him and IS the one who grants Vision to people. (Visions are not some shitty way of controlling people here)

A/N(2): I know Lantern Rite is over but damn, did I loose inspiration to finish this so soon so, I divided this into two parts.

Warnings: Spoilers for Lantern Rite and Gaming's backstory, Reader giving good parenting advice and literally being a grandma who would slap someone with a slipper and commit homicide for children, communication problems between parents and children.

"I think the Creator isn't too fond of me y'know?"

Lumine and Paimon sweated at the mention of your name, the former one rubbing his defeated shoulders for comfort as she looked at her companion.

Paimon worriedly looked up where her mother was as she floated above Gaming, the now peaceful and serene Celestia floating above them with the rightful owner in it. After gathering all your essences back and helping you come back once again - and learning that her emergency food was actually the Creator's daughter-, Lumine had the chance of meeting you quite a lot actually.

The reason for it was pretty simple: Lumine and Paimon had become inseparable.

They had been travelling together for years, all alone with only having each other to rely on. Sure, they made great friendships over the years and they were always happy to reunite with them whenever possible... But none of them could come with them on their journey.

Especially since it was unknown when exactly it would stop.

But although they thought to be alone as they discovered the truth about both Lumine and her brother's story and Paimon's origins... Lumine knew they weren't really all by themselves in such a vast and seemingly endless world.

She could feel it in her soul... With the warmth that never left her ever since she woke up near that shore, the one that had never left her even if she was starting to loose hope, always pushing her to fight for one more day.

There was no way you wouldn't love one of your own child.

"Ahhh... Why do you think so, Gaming? Have you done something to offend Her?" Paimon asks cautiously, with a hint of softness Lumine rarely heard since she was often sarcastic just as you were, as she patted his head warmly with worried eyes. This was one of the rare times that Lumine really saw You in her, that Paimon had more than one thing common with You.

Except Your love for food, that is.

She, better than anyone, knew how You were, after all, as a daughter... She felt your unconditional love even when she had no recollection of, well... Everything that happened.

Even when she didn't know what or who she was, she knew one thing clear: The Creator loved Her creations so dearly... The one on the throne could never be Her.

"Uhhh, Paimon really doesn't think so! Her Highness is known to be so loving and kind and also supportive of Her creations-" she nervously stuttered, looking up to where you were supposed to be as she gave as much comfort as she can. She didn't need to be an expert to know that most of the people in Teyvat adored their Creator, and all of them respected You for... every single thing You did for them.

Including setting new Heavenly Principles to ensure peace all across Teyvat, after millenias of destruction caused by the Usurper which tainted the soil, the very core of Teyvat and the souls of people and gods alike.

Gaming, of course not surprisingly, was one of those who admired you the most. Chenyu Vale, after all, was known for their tea and tea ceremonies, especially those of Adepti and the Creator. The stories of your both heroism and creation was one thing told throughout the land... And then there was the parental ones they had heard and read about thanks to their Archon, Gods and Adepti wanted to preserve for Your and their sake...

To remember those peaceful times they all used to sit with You and eat, drink to their heart's content as they shared stories and what they had been doing with their humans... Before either Barbatos or Menogias and Bosacius "ruining it" with their banter and over all "idiocy" with one of them begging to drink wine with You while the other two argued about the fact that Bosacius shouldn't enter where you are, alongside the ladies, practically half-naked as a mean of respect.

Menogias was not the one describing such events with much disdain, it was Rex Lapis' rather "dislike" towards a certain God of Freedom as those who read your stories sweated awkwardly at his descriptions of " that drunkard who wouldn't stop hogging the Creator all to himself and had no brains too actually give a thing for rules"... All the while You cackled with the "ladies" at the back with a comedic look on your face, betting on how many tries it would take for them to finally agree.

It was good old days... that seemed far, far away from reach as the years passed and now Teyvat was becoming another version of itself, one that You would be proud of no matter what.

Safe to say, most people praised your name and prayed to You through those ceremonies. Liyue and Chenyu Vale were the one who was perhaps the earnest with their belief, and the tea leaves they were proud to grow with Your blessing...

And with the dim-sum they had as a breakfast, to reminisce and pay respect to You and all the Gods who dined with You above the sky once.

But back to the modern days, where three youngsters were having a meltdown for different reasons...

Gaming, because he just told them- two once strangers and now his friends- his biggest secret and insecurity after his problems with father.

Paimon who almost bawled her eyes out from sadness because of the drop of his head like a kicked puppy at the slight sign of his insecurity of failing her mother.

Lumine, because these two were being total dummies and she was wondering how the hell Paimon could be related to You, who was always the logical one and always choose the rational side of things.

"I-I know that, and trust me, I am very grateful to be acknowledged by Her but... Well, I mean, I am surely in no position to complain but life wasn't the easiest for me. Especially since I chose to indulge in Wushou Dancing. You guys already know my story and... And I'm afraid that I didn't satisfy Her with how I failed at making Wushou Dancing popular-"

Gaming ranted in one breath, his face contorting in pain, both from the possibility of such thing being true and from being breathless, as he looked like a kicked puppy with his huge brown eyes from where he stood in front of the petite blond, who stared at him with a confused and troubled look.

" Woah, woah! Easy there, calm down, Gaming... So you think she is upset because of... This?"

Lumine couldn't help but frown while pointing at him and back to his vision, confusion and slight worry clouding her golden eyes as Gaming gulped and looked at her through his lashes, head turning away and eyes trailing over to stare over the tea fields. She only hoped he didn't think it was because she was belittling his worry, but rather, she didn't understand why he worried.

You were always so proud of your creations, did they really not know this?

"Uhm, y-yeah? Why wouldn't She be? She saw potential in me to make it so popular and well-liked by people yet, hehe... Here I am, as a complete failure. Just like my dad predicted..." He rubbed the back of his neck embrassed, sweating from the nervousness at the intense glare the duo was giving to him.

Logically thinking, he knew there was absolutely no way of knowing anything about the Creator, especially something as trivial as this. Both because of a) you must be too busy to care for such a small and childish thing and b) you were the Creator, how were you not supposed to love what you made?

But poor boy's insecure mind was too consumed by the self-hatred he had kept inside for so long that it started to consume hım whole... Enough to question everything he had been taught all of his life, questioning himself for the first time ever since that day if all these struggles were worth it.

Paimon, seeing and having a guess at his state, quickly budged in to divert his attention elsewhere.

"B-But I am sure that mot- I mean, Her Highness didn't bless you with a Vision and showed her favor while expecting something in return!" Paimon suddenly shot up to the air, her short legs kicking at the air angrily as her face was contorted in pure anger for the way he was thinking. And Lumine, for the first time ever since meeting her, cold sweated because of how scary she looked at the moment.

"But..." Gaming sighed dejectedly, coming down from the shock of her sudden burst, head hung low and feeling the familiar sting of his eyes of many nights he spent alone on his bed and looking back to his decisions, trying to determine if he regretted them or not, thinking about his beloved mother and Creator...

And what you both must be thinking of him.

Had he... Failed both of you?

You, who created the whole world with so much love, "The Mother of All" and his own mother, who never shied away from showing her support to him even when his father was angry at her for "spoiling" him...

"But..." he couldn't help but get frustrated at himself, and the tears gathered at the corner of his eyes. How long was he going to act like a kid? How much more would he trouble others because of his problems, much like he was doing now to even his new friends that he just met? He knew he kind of failed at his biggest dream, although his stubborn father didn't know about it just yet and he intended for it to stay that way...

Actually saying it out loud made him realize how... futile, his hardwork had been.

He really didn't make any progress at all, huh?

Before he could get any other self-deprecating thoughts, he contiued with gritted teeth as shame slowly filled him and he moved to get up. "...I was given a Vision because of my ambition to make Wushou Dancing popular in Liyue Harbor, at least that's how I see it although I know not everyone's jumping at watching it... And if I can't make it come true then..."

Another dejected sigh as his hand subconsciously went to his Vision, feeling its comforting warmth as he clutched the glass orb tightly. He always believed that the Visions' warmth, apart from containing the aspirations of the holder, had always had a part of you as well... That the comforting warmth that accompanied him much like other holders, was because of your love and hopes for them. To see what path they would carve for themselves while watching over them...

And there was no way he made anyone proud with what he had become. His relatives? They didn't particularly care about him, they couldn't, right? And his father was another story with the restless and hurtful quarrels they used to have every day, especially after his mother's death. He wouldn't even talk to him, yet alone look at his face, why would he care to come looking for his son?

How would a young boy like him ever know that the reason his father couldn't look at him in the eyes was because he was also reminded of his mistakes and hurtful words he uttered towards his own father when he was his age? How would he know that his own father, though he didn't show himself like that, lacked the way to express his guilt to his own son that he hadn't seen in a long time?

How would he know that his own father was drowning in his own guilt, but too afraid to say anything to his son when he too, was drowning himself in guilt and self-hatred?

His, and unknown to him... his dad's, mind was clouded with their own sadness, all the while never leaving their eyes from the clear sky while Paimon's and Lumine's worried eyes were on Gaming's melancholic ones, as the duo shared a stare only they could understand... with a question after years of being on Teyvat suddenly popped inside their mind.

That they had to reach to you as soon as possible...

And learn how the Vision-giving process actually worked.

"Then, what am I?"

Meanwhile, up in Celestia, you were merrily decorating your place in Liyue themes, since the Lantern Rite night was coming closer, and watering the many plants you had as a gift from your children was taking too long, you opted to keep yourself busy with humming a soft tune.

Completely and blissfully unaware of the chaos in Liyue.

But you know what they say: A mother intuition always works and is always right.

"Hmm... My mom senses are tingling yet once again. Could it be my daughter?" You curiously asked to yourself, a slight worry deep in your heart as you walked back to your throne room to check on her and her companion, the music still blasting inside your head.

Those "earphones" your Fontanian kids called, was really something else as they blasted of your son Barbatos' one of the many ballads, only requiring a magical jade to store that tune. Perhaps you could visit your son and see how they are all doing after that whole Usurper ordeal?

"My children truly exceeded my expectations... If only they didn't nearly destroy Khaenri'ah all those years ago, give them a very unnecessary curse and give me one week of detailed work before the new year..." You couldn't help but sigh out "tiredly" and crack your back, rubbing your neck as you opened the huge white gates of the throne room.

Khaenri'ah, your dear children, were unfortunately caught between the crossfire of Celestia and the misled Archons, getting either killed or cursed with monstrosity and immortality. With yet another scheme of the corrupted Heavenly Grounds combined with them being too blind from their greed, the evil surged to the surface near Khaenri'ah and thus... since the only God they believed in was you, the biggest enemy of the Second... They were nearly destroyed completely.

But now, after a very brutal battle on the very same grounds you now peacefully walked on, Teyvat and your children were finally free with no blood of them dripping to the ground. You gave a new hope, a new world where people would thrive and live in harmony.

Children no longer in pain and crying, not being without parents...

Mothers never having to cry for their fallen children and fathers going mad...

However, just like you always thought of your children... They didn't hesitate to surprise you, and on some occasions scare you, with their quirks... It was only natural to be scared for your children, most importantly your baby, right?

Listening to the conversations of your daughter and Lumine with their other companions had always been a joyful experience for you, even when you were yet to take a form and were shackled. Often they joked with each other, or threw sarcastic quips at each other much to your amusement as you saw yourself in your daughter as clear as the day.

With how easygoing and cheerful their conversations would often be, you didn't think there was anything alarming happening as you looked into our orb.

There were times even you, the Mother-of-All, were left speechless...

As soon as the foggy and disturbed watery surface of your orb cleared out with a wave of your hand, and you were able to see the worried eyes of your dear vessel and daughter looking at a young boy with red and brown hair, their conversation made your mom senses 100 times worse.

"Gaming... Are you okay? Did you sleep well? You look like you are about to fall asleep any time!"

"Not really. Just yesterday, I stayed up all night playing cards..."

"Huh? Stayed up all...night? Isn't that- Isn't that a bit concerning for humans?" You worriedly asked your royal guard as he shook his head just as worriedly from behind you, although disguised it better than You did as you repeatedly looked between him and the orb, picked on your lips and pulled on it in worry as if it could somehow make you understand what you just heard.

He wasn't the Mother of All, after all. It wasn't in his nature to worry about the young ones.

"This boy... He surely doesn't give a single care about his health! I didn't create sleep for humans for nothings! One thing they need for completely resting and-and look at this! Unacceptable!" You groaned with a deep, threatening tone, angry and not understanding why humans tried to go against their nature like that, hands on either sides of your hips as you stared at Gaming's reflection and see... Just how really tired his soul was.

Going between a great dilemma for his future, a hard time for him, one that hangs heavily upon his shoulders and the soul you crafted quite carefully and gently.

What was it that made a boy so young such as him so deeply upset that it affected him deep to his core?

Yet... Made him still so sweet and... pinchable?

"Hmm... They seem to be getting along well nonetheless." you affectionately expressed with a hand under your chin, trying to be still positive, lovingly looking at the content smiles of all three children as your daughter feasted upon food after food and was being spoiled to no end by none other than Gaming himself.

The young boy's willingness to pay for everything and not "disturb" other's, even if he earned that Mora in the hard way, impressed you and his kindness and easygoing side was something you had never seen in a human before.

And considering you were the Creator, that said a lot by itself.

But still... His way was one that could be considered as... "Self-destructive", one that rang the alarms of a troubled childhood even from miles away, and also one which needed to be stopped at one point.

Even if it required the two most essential weapons of a mother: "The Mom Voice" and "The Slipper".

Your thoughts were cut short when you saw your daughter's shy yet puffed out cheeks as Gaming cooed at her, you couldn't help but chuckle as well, leaning down over the orb with both hands on your cheeks and heart combusting and running up the walls from the sudden surge of love you felt for the three young children as the other two coddled your daughter, in their own ways of course.

Aww, a fed Paimon is a happy Paimon, huh?

"And just like that, Gaming is her new favourite friend." You giggled at Paimon's flushed cheeks from the orb you watched, Lumine's smug yet peaceful smile after all the traumatic events she went through brightening your face. Gaming's bright smile wasn't so behind on the race of "radiance", his eyes twinkling in happiness at Paimon's happy and wide smile, feeling proud with himself that he was the reason she was a full and happy child at that moment.

That was exactly what you wanted for your children and people to have: Get along well with each other, learn from each other as everyone experienced the world you served beneath their feet... Not fight for their lives in greed and selfishness.

You sighed in relief when you realized that they were fine and happy, a bit tired perhaps from the hard work earlier but still... They were finally being what they were supposed to be from the beginning as they joked together already.

Two teens and a child, though the latter was questionable since Paimon has been there ever since "the Beginning".

"Gaming is one unique boy, just like many of Your creations, Your Highness... Easily well-loved, and befriended even by 'two outsiders'."

You absentmindedly nodded, you attention straying away from the scene before your eyes as you looked at one of the pillars of Celestia in deep thought.

It was no shocker that humans were... weird, in the eyes of other gods.

You created them with compensation and empathy, with the need to socialise and friend others in their journey. The way they would do it, however, entirely depended on their choices and often times, even when shackled, you watched them in amazement with the different routes they had taken with their life.

Some gods didn't want to question your authority, but couldn't help the questions linger in their minds: Why would you built paths for them when you knew the end? When you knew how they would act?

Well, that was the question forbanother day...

But even with knowing it all, Gaming's behaviour shocked even You, who was the one to set the order.

The sixteen-year-old just... gave and gave and gave at an alarming speed, without ever stopping... Without even asking for anything in return.

That wasn't good at all... A person who gives and gives, who is very self-sacrificing with absolutely zero care about their own emotions, trying to gain people's gratitude so that they would continue the relationship/ friendship, definetly experienced a situation where they felt... Invalidated for their feelings.

And You saw it... Even your daughter, who loved food and tea more than anything, hesitated to accept his request for more food and treats to eat after all the things he bought for her.

But in the end, she was just a child. A child who loved treats, especially if it came from someone else.

"You really liked it, huh?... You know what? I'll buy you a whole bunch and pile them so high, you could swim in 'em!"

"You... You noticed what Paimon likes?" you could hear the slight wavering of your little baby's voice as a gentle smile overtake your whole face, your insides filling up with an unexplainable need to crush her to your chest with many kisses all over her chubby cheeks... Although what he said he would do was a bit impossible.

You always knew your daughter had a very soft heart behind her "ugly nickname giving ceremonies" or her sarcastic answers, even when she unintentionally ( or not, at least when she saw someone she didn't like) spoke too much and too loud.

Lucky of her that she had people who loved her anyways.

It seemed Gaming and Lumine also thought the scene to be wholesome as they both smiled with closed eyes at her obviously touched state, Lumine snickering under her breath as Paimon sniffled and blushed while glancing away from Gaming, who also supported a brotherly smile at her.

"Wait... Seriously? Paimon was just joking, you don't have to do... that!... But if you are going to get us something anyways, we would much rather have Winter Melon Cake instead! And you said you hadn't eaten it for so long, so Paimon calls it a win-win."

"Ah, don't mention it! Just think of this as a thank you for all your help." He waved his hand dismissively as he prepared to leave, doubts and anxiety still swirling in his eyes and soul. Yet, he hid all those behind a warm smile and saddened, downcasted eyes.

But there were things he couldn't hide from one entity...

"Besides, the thing between me and my family... It's a long story. It might take some time to tell. You get all hungry in the meantime as I prepare everything, goodbye!"

With that, Gaming sprintered away from the two travellers who looked from behind him with perplexed eyes. Poor Lumine couldn't understand what had just happened, with both Gaming's "story" and the way he abruptly ran away.

Paimon was busy with getting agitated, having had enough, though.

Fortunately, they weren't the only ones who felt that way... Although Paimon's reasons were different than You and Lumine.

"Is he underestimating Paimon? Hah! The audacity! She is just gonna have to show him how much-"

"Paimon could eat, perhaps?"

"Mama!"

Paimon's angry rambling and flapping of her cape ceased, her happily exclaiming as her eyes lightened up with stars when she zoomed in to where you were waiting for her with a closed eyes smile, leaving a trail of constellations in her excitement, head slightly tilted and arms wide open for her to come crashing into and nuzzle to your warm chest.

It had been such a long time after all, the last time you were peacefully together being Sumeru where you had been hiding to gather all your powers back and lead Lumine to where you were.

After a very emotional reunion, answering a lot of questions about the creation in general and the Abyss and Celestia, saving the Sumeru (as in entirety) and their Archon who was apparently your freakin' granddaughter who was very eager to finally meet her grandmother whose voice was the only thing she was able to hear in her dream...

All of you decided to wait for a bit more until everything settled and this silent war was over, to "descend" onto a very much so eagerly waiting Teyvat and declare Paimon as your youngest daughter.

Oh the amount of war flashbacks some people would have because holy shit, they treated and even insulted her- the Creator's child- so badly, they were sure they would get a very torturing punishment...

"Hello, Your High-" A hard, yet teasing, stare of your starry eyes was all it took for Lumine to sweat anxiously and correct herself with a shy smile, cheeks flushing at your serious yet still soft eyes. It wasn't in your nature to chide and get mad easily, although your eldest children would beg to differ about the previous one. However, for your dear ones, they didn't have to use such honorifics when you were all tightly knitted through the fate you let happen.

Besides, Lumine was just so cute with her bashful forgetfullness of adressing you casually, even when you often reminded her.

"Y/N... I hope you have been fine lately?" You hummed pleasantly as you nodded, patting your daughter's back as she nuzzled to your neck for warmth with a toothy smile.

"Hmm... I really was, thank you Lumine. I hope your journey on Chenyu Vale wasn't so harsh?" You inquired with a turn of your body, the floral designs on your dress and the edge of your long sleeves flowing as if they were slowly moving and your mighty crown standing on your head, shining blindingly and setting fear on enemies.

But it only amazed her further, making her stare at you for the power you held in amazement and how easily you could destroy everything and yet, chose not to.

"It was not as harsh as it was then Inazuma's, it was quite pleasing." She answered after a few seconds of pondering, making you laugh out awkwardly and sweat as she smiled kindly at you, knowing how you still held yourself to blame for what Ei had done to both of them and her own people.

I couldn't show her the right path when she needed her mother the most... Of course, I'm one of the people to blame...

That was what you said when you witnessed the pain Ei's grief and twisted thinking of "Eternity" caused to her people. Grief... Grief often blinded logic and the truth right in front of people, which resulted in unwanted situations and the hurt innocent people would have to face.

The sight of lightining scars across Lumine's petite body, a crestfallen look painted with grief raking through her body as your soft hands slowly touched her scars that you offered to heal... You never felt more disgusting and a failure than you did at the moment.

To which she always replied with " They do not hurt anymore, Your Grace..." with a tight and secure squeeze of her hands over yours as she hugged you, the Creator who felt immense guilt for something that happened out of Their control, because of the wrong doing of something else.

A Creator that felt sadness and compassion for one of Their creations so openly...

"Ah, apologies once again... I wish it was just as pleasant as it was with Liyue and Mondstadt but you know-" you shut yourself up with a forced cough, not wanting to remind her of her bad experiences as you stared at her golden eyes, to which she averted eyes and looked at the horizon bashfully under Paimon's judging eyes.

She really better had a little talk with her about Lumine's treatment towards her mother... Before something else came to her mind.

"Mom... There is something Paimon wants to ask your help with!" She excitedly chirped as she got out of your hold and made a flip, kicking her legs as you laughed out at her energy. It wasn't every day that she would ask something from you, especially that happily as if her request was a bright idea.

"Of course, darling of mine. What is it?"

"It's about Ga-Ming and his family!"

Lumine's smile froze on her face as she nervously looked at Paimon, fiddling with her fingers while hinting at her to stop, to which Paimon ignored. "I don't think it is our place to do something about his family, Paimon."

It wasn't that she didn't want to help him, she did. She already loved Ga-Ming and his energetic bursts, how he was always ready to lend a helping hand. She already considered him to be a friend and as his friend, of course she wanted him to be happy.

She knew the value of family more than anyone else, especially after loosing it, but... She was also aware that some things were supposed to stay between family and solved by them, not by some outsiders.

However, it seemed that Paimon had other ideas. As she started to reject Lumine's idea, saying how much he helped them and gave them and that they had to repay back some way, you raised a brow in question at their banter.

You already had a brief idea of what was going on with his family, courtesy of having 15 children directly related to you with different personalities, and what the problem between the father and son was, but it wouldn't hurt to hear it from them.

"Do you mean his father, sweetheart?"

She nods enthusiastically when Lumine budges in to cut her talk. "Yes, Y/N... But I do think that his problem runs a little bit deeper than we can help him with..."

You nodded at her understandingly, knowing the miscommunication going on has been prolonged far longer than it was necessary. Children often didn't notice much, didn't accept or wanted to accept their parents' expectations of them. They wanted to fly with their own wings, even if it could hurt them at first.

The parents didn't make it easy for them either and most of the times... They didn't want to accept their children wanting to go away and be themselves.

And as a result, both sides would drift apart until the other saw from their point of view, not caring that one wanted freedom and the other wanted safety and security for the other, even if it ended with their child angry at them. As long as they were safe and sound to do so... It was all that would matter, even if it seemed like a disrespect in the eyes of the child.

The stubborness of each side would only result in a distance that would severe the bond more and more with each passing day.

Perhaps... All they needed was a little nudge for them to see what both sides were loosing while they were drowning in their own stubborness?

"You are right, Lumine... However, there is nothing that could not be changed with a little help and a nudge towards the right." You hum with a hand over your chin, forefinger tapping your cheek in thought as you cross your arms over your chest. You soon broke out in a smile, having made your mind as you happily made a little jump.

"I shall help you two achieve your goal! The New Year is coming up and I do not wish any of my children to enter a new year full of new chances while being sad and alone."

You would make sure of that.

[misc-obeyme]

Tbh CC, I don't think MC is still in love with the brothers after everything that's happened,,, thinking about it, it feels more and more like MC is just putting up with the brothers and taking care of them rather than loving them

Imagine MC admitting their love for the brothers died a long time ago and now they're just here to keep things in check, what do you think would happen?

Oh hey Lucifer, bringing me the angst today I see! Ouchies!

I think it probably depends on the MC involved. Generic OM MC is highly tolerant, slightly crazy, and somehow insanely resilient. They've definitely been through a lot and I think it's interesting to note that they have never once had any kind of emotional breakdown. They've had little outbursts here and there, but that's about it.

I think part of this is due to the story format. We've got a situation where MC is a character that doesn't say or do much. They're very reactionary in general.

But if we consider how this same story might go if it was a specific MC, one who was a fully fleshed out character, things can change dramatically. And there is absolutely a chance that MC could fall out of love with the brothers or even not fall in love with them to begin with.

It's kinda funny because I have a preference for the side characters in general and I think it's because they don't need MC to take care of them. The brothers are all very demanding and don't like when MC isn't with them all the time. But the side characters have their own stuff going on and are independent. They're all still hopelessly in love with MC, but they don't rely on MC the same way the brothers do.

But let's consider the scenario where one day MC has reached their limit. They don't explode or anything, but they quietly admit that their love has died and they only stick around out of obligation.

The thing about this is that I think all the brothers would have picked up on it before this moment, but some of them wouldn't know what was happening and others would. For instance, I see Lucifer and Asmo just sorta being like yeah we expected this. Whereas Mammon and Levi would be like okay we knew something was up, but we didn't think it was this!

I think at that point, the brothers would do all they could to change things. They can all be idiots and they get carried away and often cause MC more stress than anything. But I think if they knew how MC felt, that they were feeling this way, they would try to change.

It might not work. These demons are old and old people are often set in their ways. It might be hard for them to change. Then again, they were also created to live as long as they do, so perhaps they're better at adapting than humans are. Maybe they would find it isn't so hard for them to make the changes they need to in order to have MC be more comfortable again.

The problem is that even if they succeed in changing their behaviors, that doesn't mean MC will love them again. No matter what the brothers do, MC won't be able to make themselves love again. It's not impossible, but it's not something that's predictable, either.

I think part of the solution would be MC spending time away from them. Whether that's staying in the Devildom, but living somewhere else such as the castle or Purgatory Hall or going back to the human world, I think it would require some time apart.

I think a lot of times people fall out of love because they change in different directions. So if MC has changed, but the brothers haven't, that could be the cause. It could be that MC and the brothers have both changed, but differently enough that they no longer have that same chemistry from before. And sometimes you just can't fix it.

MC would have to make their choice at that point. If they all spent some time apart, then the brothers actively tried to change, but MC still finds that they aren't in love with them anymore, then MC has to decide. They have to decide if it's worth spending the rest of their life taking care of a bunch of demons who have already managed to survive a long time without them and who will likely live on far after they're gone. If MC is still mortal, they may decide they don't have time for that. Maybe they'll permanently move in to the castle or Purgatory Hall. I think that has a lot of angst potential because they'd still see the brothers a lot, but it'd be like there go my seven exes lol.

Ahhh it's such a sad scenario! And there are a lot of ways it could go, depending on the MC involved. My MC is more likely to lose their shit way before it ever got to this point so I can't even imagine it with them lol. But a quieter MC who feels the responsibility of being everything the demons expect them to be might certainly stick around long enough.

Anyway, this is getting lengthy, but I think it'd be a difficult time for all if this happened. The brothers might try to fix things, but I think in the end everybody would want MC to make the right choice for themselves.

[bluedragonfairy2000]

A few days ago I mentioned having and idea for a hermitcraft/life series/empires au based off of some songs that I have been listening to lately. Now while I didn’t get much feedback on the idea I figured after having a few days to mull it over I might as well post it since even if it doesn’t get a lot of love, I’ll never know until I post it and it would be a good to free up some head space before going back to school. Though I do want to thank the people who did like it as I really appreciate it! It kept me from scraping the idea all together.

Given how long the story is turning out to be I might break it into parts to make it more manageable to read. It will probably be at least three parts with the synopsis being the first part, the prologue/background being a second part, and the actual story being the third part. I will break up the story more if I think it needs it, and I will link all of them here

Synopsis (Here), Prologue, Story

Ok first off! This au is inspired by multiple songs! So I am going to quickly give a shout out to them and their creators.

Tower of Ai by Hitoshizuku x Yama and animatic by Kaurnival.

Daughter of Evil by Mothy, revenge version English cover by JubyPhonics

The Court Jester by Joe Swensen, Featuring Fukase.

The King by Rosendale

The Lonely Prince by Rosendale

Fairy King by Rosendale

The Pond by Rosendale

Elements of Royalty au:

Most of the prologue is based off of Tower of Ai by Vocaloid and animatic by Kaurnival. As it features most of the life series group. (i.e. Grian, Scott, Pearl, Scar, Bdubs, Joel, Gem, Cleo, Lizzie, and Jimmy). Beyond this point is spoilers for the Tower of Ai song as well as basic run though of what the story for this au will be. So go watch/listen if you don’t want to be spoiled before you see/hear it.

Prologue:

I will go more in detail when I write the Prologue for this au but basically the world where these characters live has fallen into ruin because The Ancient Builders wanted to stop relying on the Watchers to protect them. Since the cost of the Watcher’s protection was that selected people would have to fight in death games. In response to that when the next time the Watcher’s became bored the next time they just threw every natural disaster in the book at them. When it seemed like everyone was going to die the Watcher’s decided to send a prophecy that chosen person (Grian) could go retrieve 9 gifts that relate to the world and restore the balance, but he would have to travel to a tower at the ends of the earth to do so. Not wanting to go alone Grian asked around and Scott, Pearl, Scar, Bdubs, Joel, Gem, Cleo, Lizzie, and Jimmy were the only ones who would go with him. As they travel the group gets extremely close as they face dangerous situations together and only survive thanks to their friendship. Once they finally reach the tower Grian goes to relieve the first gift only for Scott to come in at the last second and steal it. This sets up a pattern where each of the nine people who came with Grian steal one of the nine gifts Grian was supposed to receive In the end Grian is left alone feeling betrayed and like he failed to save the world. Climbing up the tower he finds that the nine gifts are actually waiting for him there and it’s revealed that this was all an elaborate trick set up by the Watchers. The Watchers had sent all of the others a vision of what would happen if Grian took the gifts. Basically the original gifts were traps, and whoever took them would be killed as a kind of sacrifice to reveal the real gifts. So each member of the group decided to sacrifice themselves in hopes that once the real gifts had been revealed that Grian would be able to use them and save the world. None of them informed Grian of this as they knew he would try to stop them if he found out what they were doing. Each of the members of the group died in a way that related to each gift. Scott drowned, Pearl was burned alive, Scar basically had all of the water drained out of him a dehydrated, Bdubs went insane and since the song doesn’t make this clear probably died of sleep deprivation or disappeared all together. Joel was torn apart by vines, Gem was struck down by lightning, Cleo was torn apart by blades of wind, Lizzie froze to death, and Jimmy was consumed by lava. When Grian receives the true gifts he also gets to witness what happened to his friends as well as being shown why they did this. At this Grian is devastated as now even if he does manage to save the world he will have to do it without his friends and the he was basically the cause of their demise. So in misery he tries to fulfill his friends last wish to bring their world back to glory all the while mourning the lost of those he held dearest.

This is basically where the Tower of Ai ends and my au begins. This story was created when I tried to figure out the the other members of the life series (Ren, Martyn, Etho, Impulse, Skizz, Tango, and Mumbo) would fit in, and they would possibly met the other members of life smp if they had all died. So I’m this au when Grian tries to restore the world his desire for his friends to be alive is stronger than his desire to fix a already decaying world. So the Watchers run with that and offer to fulfill his desire since he won their game. When he agrees the world that the group has lived in fades away and all the people basically have quick painless death as they fade into oblivious. When Grian gets angry and confused at what the Watcher have done they explained that his desire was for his friends to be alive and since their souls were now trapped in the gifts they bestowed upon him they had to clear away the old world in order to create a new one where his friends could be alive. Grian is stunned to hear this but before he can do anything the Watchers take the gifts and use them to create the new world. In the process each member of the group is revived as they become the immortal spirit of their element.

Scott becomes the spirit of water able to control the ocean, rain and anything else made of water.

Pearl becomes the spirit of fire with her dog Tilly (who is going to be with her in the full story) as the embodiment of smoke.

Scar becomes the spirit of light, able to not only control light but magic and luck as well (gambling man)

Bdubs becomes the spirit of darkness, able to control the monsters of the night.

Joel becomes the spirit of the earth, able to create massive earthquakes.

Gem becomes the spirit of lightning, usually only showing up during stormy weather.

Cleo becomes the spirit of the winds, able to guide ships along their course.

Lizzie becomes the spirit of ice and snow, able to create blizzards.

Jimmy becomes the spirit of lava, he doesn’t have a vary big role in the overworld but with a new nightmarish dimension added into this world he had dominion over the nether.

Grian is overjoyed to see his friends alive again but the he stops when he realizes that while the Watchers did make a new world they didn’t put him in it. They instead left him on the remains of his old world which was just a singular tower on a floating island in the void. The Watcher’s tell him that as compensation for having to take his gifts away they we give him three new ones. The first is the remains of his old home which they refer to as the End dimension, the second is the ability to have control of death in the new world they created. However this will make him unable to visit the new world as since he is the embodiment of death now if he goes there the world will wither away at his presence. Lastly they give him the gift of being able to Watch over his friends for all eternity. With that the Watchers leave grian to his cruel fate. Forever knowing his friends are alive but being just out of reach of them as he sit in a dead world.

This is where the main story kicks in. After centuries have past the rest of our main cast (Ren, Martyn, BigB, Etho, Impulse, Skizz, and Mumbo) are born into the world that was created by Grian’s wish. I won’t go too in depth here since this post is already long enough. The last things I will cover is this first Mumbo won’t be making a appearance until late into the story. I have a good role for him it just won’t show up till later. Secondly Tango isn’t initially a blaze hybrid. I know that odd but I have a good reason! The only people who are initially hybrids are Ren and Martyn. Lastly I have been really into Fabric Fsntasy SMP so for this au Martyn with be a Ice Dragonborn.

Main Story Synopsis:

Prince Ren had been on the brink of death after being kicked out of his kingdom by his greedy father and his ruthless citizens. If he hadn’t accidentally stepped into Martyn cave he probably would have given up long ago and just let himself be consumed by the elements. As it was now though he and Martyn had found a surprisingly loyal group of companions and were spending their days traveling the land and hunting down new and exciting challenges. It had been months since his exile and Ren could honestly say he had never been happier. While he still held onto a few fond memories of his time growing up his fathers castle, deep down he had known that the kingdom hadn’t been his home in some time, if it ever was to begin with. He had easily discarded the idea of trying to go back and reclaim his thrown, However, after months of nomadic lifestyle and dungeon crawling he was starting to become desperate for a sense of stability for not just him but the companions he had made during his exile. With the only skills he had being the ones taught to him as the crown prince, Ren was unsure how to give his new friends the comfortable life he desired for him. So in a bid that was probably caused but what little bit of childhood naivety hadn’t been stamped out by father he made a wish on a falling star that he could be given the powers to create a paradise where he and his friends could live out the rest of their days in peace. Unfortunately for Ren there were forces out there that had been Watching over him for some time. Hearing his wish They decided to grant it but in a way that he would come to regret.

[biolizardboils]

Hey again.

I was saving this for when I'd wrapped some other stuff up, but it's taking too long. I'm just gonna say it while the words are fresh in my head.

The two-month break I've been on? I think I'm gonna stay on it. As in, stay logged off except on special occasions.

There's still things I want to finish here. I will answer what's left at @ask-the-all-consuming-void and bring it to a proper ending; The Secret Thing it was gonna segue into will go up, even if only as sketches and drafts; And there's another project I'm still helping with behind the scenes. But aside from those… I want to maintain my internet presence a lot less.

I've learned a lot about myself since I left: most importantly the hyper-empathy, compassion fatigue thing, and that being terminally online probably does more harm than help. There's trying to be a good, vigilant person, and then there's overwhelming oneself about things they can't control, with info that isn't always accurate. I've been doing the latter in different ways for years; late April/early May was a big wake-up call. Lesson learned: I've got to find balance, and I won't find it here.

The second-most important thing I learned is that… the reason I "joined" the internet in the first place? It's pretty much been fulfilled. Has been for a few years now, actually.

I made this tumblr in 2015, but I got my real start on deviantART and WordPress in 2011. Don't expect links; what people post in their preteens can stay between them and God lol. But I'll tell you what got me to make accounts: my confusion as a new Sonic fan. The way people talked about them, the way they talked to each other… it hurt to see.

I got it in my preteen head to set a better example. To not let my love for something become disdain for others of its kind. To explain instead of assume. And to assure anyone who'd listen that it's not shameful to like Sonic, that those who do deserve better, and that they could still have it better someday.

And now, 13 years later… we do. The hurtful stuff I saw back then is nearly gone now. When it does pop up, it's easier to counteract than ever. People realize how silly and petty and wrong it was, and can call it out accordingly. People can live a little truer to themselves, now that that shit isn't everywhere anymore.

I think that, specifically, is all I really wanted. Everything else—the reinvigoration of the characters and their world, the downpour in avenues once closed off by "cringe" and "not enough interest"—have been wonderful byproducts. I've been gassing up Sonic Movie 3 as the final step, but it's really more of a victory lap.

After realizing that, I just… don't feel the need to post so much here anymore. My self-worth and sense of morality shouldn't rely on what I do or don't type. I don't need to document every thought or choice I make and why.

The cause I've performed for since middle school no longer needs my time and energy, if it ever even did. I can just enjoy things in relative silence, and spend myself in other ways. Ways I've taken too long to get around.

Sonic Unleashed is what set me down this path. I watched it go from rejected at launch, to just divisive, to respected and beloved. I still wonder if, had it gotten a fairer chance, the current Sonic renaissance could've happened sooner.

But dwelling on that won't change anything. I'd rather dwell on how, this year, I got to scream Endless Possibility with hundreds of other people, loudly and proudly. No fear of who's watching, no need to self-sabotage. It meant the world to me.

There was a con in my area on June 23rd. I wasn't planning on doing anything that day until I heard about it. There was someone in attendance who helped me put a symbolic bow on this part of my life.

I think he did a wonderful job :)

I have one last thing to say before I go. That'll be its own post, so I can put it in the public Sonic tags.

Again, the stuff I've left hanging here will get finished eventually. But for now, this is goodbye.

Moots, followers: thank you so much. I will quite literally remember you all in therapy.

--BiolizardBoils

[granulesofsand]

🗝️🏷️ disability invalidation, allusions to RAMCOA

I see a lot of disabled people talk about feeling like imposters because they set a bar for how much pain or dysfunction someone needs to be disabled, and then continuously recategorize themselves in relation to this imaginary threshold. I was wondering if anyone else defines themselves out of pain or dysfunction as part of that?

We use a cane most days because it extends the time between flares and falls by keeping the weight off our legs. Even with the cane, walking hurts. But walking always hurts, and we rationalize that if the baseline is pain, then real pain has to be worse than the baseline. We keep moving the baseline higher as our condition progresses. On days we have pain below the baseline (especially if we aren’t noticing pain in a usual spot), we feel like we’ve made it all up and actually have never been in pain.

We’ve also survived some extreme cruelty, so our trauma-holding selves compare the pain we deal with daily to those moments of life-threatening maltreatment. There will always be a worse pain in our memory, so our pain must not count. We don’t apply that to anybody else, but it’s a rule of our existence.

On days we don’t use the cane, we have a wheelchair made for somebody who wasn’t us. We got it at the Goodwill, and it allows us to go out when our legs protest by relying on our arms to get around. It’s too small for us. It doesn’t have footrests. It’s manual, and the way we have to push the rims dislocates our fingers. Our mobility isn’t our worst physical disability.

We can go out most days. We rarely get so bad that we are unable to leave the bed, even if we get worse and make ourselves sick. We can’t concentrate on anything, can’t interact with others, but we can kind of get there.

All of this is shame and denial we learned by exposure. Our family of origin, the group we were born into, the doctors they took us to. Even with TV and strangers out in public, people always have opinions about our disability. It’s hard not to internalize those opinions.

We use the cane and go out anyway. We take the labels we cognitively know we fit, even if we don’t feel like we belong. We get to know other disabled people, fight for the lot of us to get accommodations. It’s better than it was fifty years ago, and we’ll make sure it’s better fifty years in the future. Just wish it weren’t so stigmatized right now.

[vanoefucks]

el: 6, 10, 12, 16, 30, 39 / fennel: 3, 7, 11, 15, 17, 24 / 19 for both of them and also nalfein pls gimme the crossover lore

omg ok this is gonna be a lot >:)

EL:

6. What weather does your PC prefer? Why?

Overcast/stormy days were a fave before the game because of the gloomy atmophsere they gave & it made it easier to fall into the shadows while tracking his bounties. Post game they're a fave because on the stormiest of days he's able to be outside with Astarion with some caution.

10. How does your PC fidget?

He will forever be fiddeling with his weapons they are rarely ever in their straps if they've stopped for a break.He runs his fingers over the edge of his blades/spins his arrows around before the others tell him to put them away. Just likes to keep a hand on a weapon at all times.

12. If your PC had to set up a date, what would they plan for it?

He is sooo inexperienced with dating, hasn't had many people he could say he's 'dated'. Would not have much of a clue when it comes to typical dating rules/ideas so would probably just try to spend doing something they both enjoy, or taking a walk through a quiet part of town before going home for a nicer dinner than normal. any time spent together is considered a date to him he is big on quality time.

16. What scents do you associate with your PC? 

He would always be smelling of dirt/various plants that he's been tending to for his poisons which luckily to most would just have them think he's a keen gardener. through the game though blood sticks to his clothes, the materials he wears dont make for the easiest to clean and back in the city he got his work done without coming into contact with blood usually.

30. How does your PC flirt? 

badly no but he doesn't have the best charisma and any flirting he's done in the past relied more on looks than his words but again he's not too practiced or interested in flirting and was sort of stumbling through the affections of Astarion & Halsin. his approach is to just keep things going if someone comes onto him.

39. What would your PC put on their pizza? 

he is a plain guy he only vibes with a margarita like me

FENNEL:

3. How would your PC describe themselves?

I dont think he would know how to really. Not past the physical traits. probably unlucky if anything.

7. So if your PC had a car what kind of car would it be

after failing his test a few too many times he would get some random second hand that he doesnt totally hate the look of. preferable a grey one but he would not be a massive car person.

11. How does your PC show affection?

words! when it comes to platonic affection and lots and lots of touch with a partner. He ends the game pretty much attatched to gale at the hip. hes just tall enough to rest his chin on gales shoulders if he hugs him from behind & he loves sitting close enough for their legs to touch around the fire.

15. How does your PC feel about marriage? Weddings?

the moment gale said ily and showed him waterdeep Fennel was writing his vowes in his head. he finds two matching bands and keeps them in his pocket for the rest of the game. he worries about his past all through act 1 & 2 and once he finds out who he was and has the support of the others it gives him the confidence to put it behind him and he knows that he wants a meaningful future with gale, even with the small amount of time theyve spent together.

17. What are your PCs favorite fruits?

Blueberries. he'll gather a whole basket and eat them in one evening.

24. If your PC found a book that detailed their whole life, from birth to whatever death they’ll have, would they read it and why? 

I think he would hate read his durge days. remince over the span of the game skipping him killing alfira and stop the moment the book catches up with the present.

19: What is your PC’s Pokemon Gym Leader type and Signature Pokemon?

El would lead a poison type gym & his signature would be a Scolipede

Fennel would lead a pyschic type gym & he would have a Gallade

Nalfein would predictibly lead a dark type gym & his signature would be absol

[quill-of-thoth]

Letters From Watson: The Second Stain

Crimes in Context: Blackmail edition!

Blackmail, especially against women, is going to come up a lot in these stories. We’ve already been over the fact that women, whether married or not, had limited control over their own financial security, and what control they had depended on what other relatives, usually male relatives, had previously set up to provide for them, so the stability of her marriage could not be separated from her financial stability. 

Mrs. Hope, being the youngest daughter of a Duke, presumably has some security if her marriage fails, or at least more opportunity than the average middle class woman of the day, who may not be able to rely on a titled father or brother for financial support should her husband decide to leave her. Unfortunately, as a noblewoman and the wife of a high ranking government official, gossip magazines and newspapers would be more interested in the scandal of her love letter than they would be for an average Jane: even if her husband weren’t at all jealous, a public scandal over what we would consider an extremely minor thing today would be a long term nuisance to both of them.  Two kinds of indiscreet letters There’s also the matter of the letter itself. Hilda describes it as an "indiscreet letter written before my marriage—a foolish letter, a letter of an impulsive, loving girl,” and that description could cover a pretty large territory. Victorians were especially into deluding themselves that women, specifically, never had any sensual or sexual desire outside of marriage, and the higher class you were the more important it was for a young woman to uphold that image. A mere hint of romance within a letter - or even a non romantic letter to a man that implied any sort of closeness that could be construed as romantic - could have been "indiscreet” enough to, if not cause public scandal, severely damage Hilda and Trelawney’s marriage.  Based on the urgency of Hilda’s actions and her pleas to Holmes, I’m presuming it was an actual love letter, possibly to a man who was not a good match in terms of wealth or station but who Hilda had strong feelings for. If she didn’t mean any harm by it, he was probably unmarried, and probably someone she knew personally - someone she might have once convinced herself, on the strength of her feelings for him (or their feelings for each other) could be a match for her. It could also have been more overtly sensual, it could have referenced plans for Hilda and it’s recipient to meet, it could have had a number of aspects that would have been mild transgressions in context but would have been blown up out of all proportion by the fact that it was being used as blackmail. As you see in relationship advice columns all the time, the idea that your spouse is communicating with someone who they could theoretically be attracted to and you don’t already know all about it is still fodder for wild and often irrational jealousy. After all, if you didn’t know about it, it must be because they were hiding something! (Side note, but I’m writing this up on valentine’s day, and people: STOP TRYING TO BE THE ONLY RELEVANT PERSON IN YOUR PARTNER’S LIFE. I may be preaching to the crowd here but really: Be better than these Victorians.) Similarly, the stolen letter seems like a mountain made out of a molehill for those of us who live in the age of politicians taking to twitter to, at best, insult one another and the people of their own country. Without absolutely confirming the country of origin, or the writer, of the letter, I can’t really do much research to speculate on whether a piece of international hatemail could actually start a war at this time period. It is, however, also possible that its in-text description is deliberately understating the actual contents. It’s also possible that the idea that it was merely hate mail (possibly from one of Queen Victoria’s angry grandsons, perhaps Wilhelm 2?) is a multiple decade after the fact invention to take the place of a more obviously relevant or inflammatory document. Personally, I don’t intend to press too hard on the fictionalization theory for anything that is adequately explained by the text. So I’ll leave you with an imagining of potential modern equivalents: Hilda’s flirty text to a guy she matched with, and Kaiser Willy 2′s tweet “fuck grandma’s military, they’re always interfering with places I want to conquer.”

[wavernot4love]

i've definitely said something like this before but holy crap dude, ls dunes have quite literally changed the trajectory of my life, and every time i see them, it feels like they've done the same for so many people there. i just want to, post-thursday's toronto show, talk a little about how special this band is (this is probably gonna get long).

i've come to care about this band so goddamn much in, well, definitely the 11 months since they first announced themselves, but even moreso the 8 months since past lives dropped & i saw them for the first time @ dunesday toronto '22.

for a little recap of my dunes origin story, as a 22 y/o i grew up in the mid 2010s scene, right? so most of the bands i knew n loved growing up were those & i had never truly done a deep dive into a lot of 2000s/even early 2010s stuff. of course, the biggest, most accessible bands that started during that time were an exception, people like fob, or ptv, or, well, mcr. and a lot of other bands' biggest songs, etc.

so one part of my thought process the day dunes got announced was "woah new frank band? cool, let's see who's in it!" and that's what made me click into the first article i saw.

and the other part: like i kinda alluded to, i'm very active in the scene, i love going to shows & getting involved and i am truly trying to make it my life even moreso (via live music photograohy n design stuff, and hopefully eventually music stuff?). point is, late last july i signed up to volunteer @ a scene fest kinda in my area, my home here in upstate ny, at the time i hadn't been to many shows alone before so i was kinda nervous about heading two hours away by myself, on top of not really knowing what i was gonna be doing volunteerwise, but something pushed me to decide to go through w it. and this thing had the most random (/pos) assortment of the scene. from big metalcore outfits to modern faces of emo/pop punk/post hardcore to localish hardcore, you get the idea. i had a blast & got to watch a ton of sets.

anyways, near the end of the day some dude i'd definitely heard of by name and was aware was some big dude in the scene from some band (my phone was dead so it was killing me i couldn't look that up hhhh), was about to play a solo set so i figured i'd drop by and catch a bit. i was hanging outside of that stage and suddenly bro started playing and i thought "damn, this dude seems cool" then, naturally, weaved my way into the crowd, watched his full hourish long set since he was the last on that stage, and thought, "damn, this dude is cool." besides his music, i remember admiring the way he talked w the crowd, and then after, the way he stood around and chatted extensively with every last person like they were an old friend (i just kinda stood off to the side in my "staff" shirt watching and probably smiling, figuring i'd let dude's genuine fans have their moment... little did i know). anyways, naturally i'm talking about anthony here, and that night when i got home i looked him up and saw he was from circa & saosin and had a Revelation since of course being in the scene i knew about those bands, and i basically vowed to get into bro's music. and, well, safe to say i found a way less than a month later when i opened that article and saw he was singing in a new band with the guitarist of one of the bands that's meant the most to me for the longest (spoiler: i lost my mind when i saw he was the singer in a "YES! this dude" kinda way).

anyways, since then i'd argue my love for mcr somehow grew (i like to think that's because a lot of my love for music relies on connection & community, more on that later), i (specifically surrounding seeing them @ adjacent) have been getting into thursday & coheed, and, of course, last december i got hugely into tsoaf n traveled 2 see them in january, come february i discovered saosin, & thanks to a rec from a kind person outside the dunes show the other night, i'm now becoming irreversibly attached to circa as well. these people's music has changed my goddamn life, and it's all bands i'd never really looked into before despite of course being aware of them. and that is special.

also, at no other show (and shows in general are my favorite place in the world) have i experienced quite the level of community (random but something i've specifically noticed @ dunes & tsoaf & anthony's solo shows is that circa fans are SO nice?) i do at dunes shows. i've been alone every time i've seen them, but never felt less lonely. the show quite literally ended and i immediately had multiple people yelling (/pos) things at me about my midtown shirt, coming up to talk to me in general, and hell, even I had absolutely no problem going up to people with total confidence to chat, something i usually shake in my boots over. we had a freakin campfire style singalong going. i got to talk to people about traveling for shows who do the same with their time, hell, this was the first time i ever got to ramble in person about my love for tsoaf to someone that actually knew what the hell i was talking about. i spoke to people from all over, both physically and from different parts of the scene and yet we had all ended up right here. stuff feels like the embodiment of the dunes whole "lost souls found" thing, dude.

ls dunes gave me the opportunity twice now to chat with somebody (frank) whose music has been with me for the entire going on ten years since i got into the scene. something that wouldn't really (understandably) be possible at an mcr show. and we've reached the point as of thursday's show that i don't feel nervous going up to him anymore either, we entirely just had a pretty long, chill conversation and goofed off a little and i will never take that for granted. i mean that in a "historically interactions with folks in bands i look up to in this scene have meant the world to me because, like i mentioned earlier, my love for music stems from a community "scene" based idea that we're all just people passionate about this stuff" way.

and of course, the shows themselves, but i'm not sure i can accurately describe those, it's something you need to experience for yourself. i have considered toronto1 my favorite show i've been to ever since it happened, and i have been going to shows since 2014. these dudes have chemistry like no other, and you just get the sense watching them that they were born to do this together. and don't get me started on anthony's crowd interaction stuff. he has become one of my favorite frontpeople (if not my genuine favorite) over this past year. no one does it like that dude does.

anyways, i don't know that i've ever felt quite this way about any band before, which seems crazy for me becayse i care deeply about so many bands. ls dunes is special. all i know is i legitimately have not stopped thinking about the dunes since the toronto show thursday, to the point of being kinda perpetually shaky & endlessly needing to remind myself it's okay, they're not going away yet, i still have one more show in pittsburgh this thursday. i truly hope i can talk to the other dudes (especially anthony since i feel like so much of this lore involves him) and tell them some of this then, and maybe meet some of you, too (i'll definitely be getting there early & also sticking around after)!

and no matter what, i can't wait for this show, and all the shows to come, man. so there's the complete wavernot4love recap, well, so far.

[mediaevalmusereads]

Forbidden. By Beverly Jenkins. Avon, 2016.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Old West #1

Summary: Rhine Fontaine is building the successful life he's always dreamed of—one that depends upon him passing for White. But for the first time in years, he wishes he could step out from behind the façade. The reason: Eddy Carmichael, the young woman he rescued in the desert. Outspoken, defiant, and beautiful, Eddy tempts Rhine in ways that could cost him everything . . . and the price seems worth paying.

Eddy owes her life to Rhine, but she won't risk her heart for him. As soon as she's saved enough money from her cooking, she'll leave this Nevada town and move to California. No matter how handsome he is, no matter how fiery the heat between them, Rhine will never be hers. Giving in for just one night might quench this longing. Or it might ignite an affair as reckless and irresistible as it is forbidden...

***Full review below.***

Content Warnings: rape threat, explicit sexual content, racism (including the n-word), allusions to slavery, violence

Overview: I wanted to read more Beverly Jenkins after completing Something Like Love, so I picked up Forbidden because it had an interesting premise. Overall, a lot of the things I liked and disliked were similar to those I liked and disliked about my previous read. While I appreciate the stories Jenkins is trying to tell and I adore her heroines, I just don't think her writing style is for me. Thus, I'm rating this book only 3 stars.

Writing: My main criticism of the prose in this book is similar to the points I made for Something Like Love. While I don't think Jenkins's writing is atypical for the romance genre, it also just wasn't to my personal tastes. I felt that Jenkins told more than showed, and pacing felt fairly uniform.

Plot: The plot of this book follows Eddy Carmichael, a skilled cook who dreams of starting her own restaurant in California. Eddy has just enough money saved when tragedy strikes at the beginning if the book: she is robbed, and so, she is forced to rely on the kindness of strangers to make it from Colorado to San Francisco in post-Civil War America.

What I liked about this plot was the way Jenkins used the setting to explore racial dynamics and Rhine's identity. Rhine isn't directly subjected to racism in Virginia City because he passes, but he does get a nasty peek at what white people say to one another. There is also plenty of discussion about colorism, and I appreciated these topics being tackled head-on in a romance novel.

Unfortunately, she is tricked by some strangers and is left penniless and wandering in the desert. Luckily, she is rescued by Rhine Fontaine and his business partner. Rhine is mixed race and passes as White, and he uses that privilege to make a life for himself and free Black folks in the multicultural town of Virginia City, Nevada. He helps Eddy land a job cooking for a boarding house in Virginia City while she saves up enough money to venture west again, and during that time, the two find themselves attracted to one another. Things are further complicated because Rhine has a rich white fiancée who doesn't know about his parentage, and Eddy is being courted by the local Black carpenter/architect. Shenanigans ensue.

That being said, I didn't quite feel like I was reading a tightly-plotted narrative. Most of the time, I felt like I was reading about the day to day lives of our characters, and while some events are interesting, I didn't get the sense that plot points were building on one another to create a story. Maybe this ambling pace will appeal to some readers, but personally, I wanted a bit more.

Character: Eddy, our heroine, is easy to root for in that she has a definite goal and works extremely hard to meet it. I liked that her arc was about her burgeoning independence, and it felt like she truly was being appreciated after living in near poverty for so long. I also liked that she was readily embraced by the Black community in the town, and I liked watching her find her home.

Rhine, our hero, is also interesting in that he faces numerous dilemmas regarding his identity. I appreciated the moments in which he had to weigh his personal happiness against his privilege, and I liked that his motivations came from a place of wanting freedom and power. I also liked that he was an honorable man and despite his past, he wasn't so angsty that he was bogged down. He seemed to be always looking forward, and that was nice.

Side characters were also nice in that they created something of a found family for Eddy. Sylvie, her employer, is truly a good friend and supports Eddy without judgment. Vera the seamstress is also bright and fun, and the residents of the orphanage are endearing. Even Zeke, the rival for Eddy's feelings, is hard to dislike since he is so genuinely interested in Eddy, and he is incredibly kind and generous.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, it's the White antagonists that are the most irritating. I'm not going to sit here and complain that some white people are portrayed as awful bigots - they served their purpose in the story, so I think it was appropriate. I do think, though, that some of the racism was just kind of "fly by," so I couldn't quite determine if responding to oppression was supposed to be a major theme or inserted to make the setting a bit more "textured." The unhinged ending with Natalie kind of illustrates my point; without spoiling anything, I will say that the ending made isn't seem like white rage was just kind of something to brush off and even when it was threatening, it didn't quite matter. Maybe I'm not the best person to speak on this, though, and maybe anything more serious would affect the tone Jenkins was going for. I don't know.

Romance: The romance between Eddy and Rhine was... OK. My main issues were not that they were ill-suited, but that Jenkins uses a couple of tropes that I personally dislike. First, there's a love triangle, and while I liked that no one was made out to be the villain, I couldn't help but feel really bad for Zeke. There was litterally nothing wrong with him except that he didn't excite passion in Eddy, and I am not 100% sure it was right for her to start seeing him. Second, Eddy is an incredibly naive virgin who doesn't even know what an orgasm is (or that male orgasms can lead to pregnancy?) before meeting Rhine. I personally sont care for virginal heroines because it makes them seem a bit sheltered, but I also understand that a virginal heroine might be working against the hypersexual Black woman trope here.

TL;DR: Forbidden has an interesting premise, taking a white-passing hero and an ambitious Black woman and seeing how their goals are jeopardized by attraction. While I didn't quite vibe with the writing style or the way the plot unfolded, I do think Jenkins creates captivating settings and characters that are easy to root for.

[keeponquinning]

Let’s take a peek at Dancing with the Ghost of You 👀🤍

Ask me to spoil my current WIPs / plot bunnies.

Okay! So, first off it's not an original idea, I'm sure I've seen version of this out there, so 100% claim this is not groundbreaking but an idea that popped in my head and scenes birthed themselves in my thoughts and as soon as that happens, it's over, I'm attempting it. Let me make up a little synopsis for it that I may end up using for when it's actually finished:

Steve Harrington was used to making a lot of promises, some for reassurance, some to give hope, in desperate times. Eddie Munson made him promise to make sure you were taken care of if things went bad. You made him promise to make sure Eddie would come back to you. He couldn't keep one promise, he was determined to keep the other. Which was good, as you found, grief was a bitch, never giving you peace, especially in your dreams, conflicting with your reality at every turn.

( Yeah, we're doing steve x grieving!reader, bc i want to give him a happy ending but not be easy about it. eddie x reader in flashbacks, each chapter I'm planning to have at least one of the relationship, my first dance of angst. I've written five paragraphs of it so far, to which, to the read more! )

Friday night. Not too dead, not too busy, not at the dive bar and grill you work at, anyway. It had its perks, though, you were still young, a year after high school. College didn't interest you, not for what you had planned for your future. That relied on the stage — oh, not that stage. No, no, not the one at your work, but it was a stage....technically. Which would hopefully lead to a better stage, bigger, brighter, better sound system that could play to a whole screaming crowd bigger than this place could hold. But, for now, it was your stage. When your manager deemed it dead enough for you to take it.

But now, you were behind the bar, doing half ass cocktails in a town that really asked for anything on tap. Watching a girl on your stage, lace gloves, dangling earrings and leg warmers, singing her little heart out... Completely mangling Madonna. Like A Virgin seemed appropriate. Inexperienced. Clumsy. Awkward. A huge sense of am I doing this right? You didn't even like Madonna that much but as you wiped down the counter, your eyes couldn't stay away from the stage as she was absolutely committing a crime. The worst thing? You absolutely remembered this girl from school, Tammy Thompson, the girl you were in choir with, that everyone was certain would scale the music charts.

"Yikes," someone else had said, a familiar voice, your eyes swiping toward him, alone on the bar stool. "Muppet. I swear. Just like a muppet."

Your lips quirked, the start of a snicker just about to be brought out. Wasn't wrong, and now that he said it, you couldn't not hear it. Perhaps it was mean, you more than anyone knew it took a lot to make it into music, and really, you didn't know much about Tammy's passion, if it matched yours or if she sang like any songbird did — simply because people said they should. But... God, the fact that she got a spot before you without having to tend bar first, seemed more than a little insulting. Still, you couldn't quite resist. "Are we thinking Kermit or Miss Piggy? I'm hoping Kermit, slander against Miss Piggy is something I can't let stand. Or Fozzie the Bear, I'm getting a feel more for Fozzie."

That got him, where you were kind enough not to snicker out right, he laughed, loudly. Your eyes flashing toward Tammy, at least glad she didn't seem to notice, her eyes closed and focused on the song, at least it reaching its end — though still a few more songs in her set. Your eyes flashing back to him, recognizing him of course, looking a bit different than his high school days, about the same time you graduated. He looked over at you with a smile, parting his lip to speak, but another spoke from the other side of you, snapping your attention away from him. "Pitcher of your finest, but definitely cheapest ice cold beer, please?"

[violetsystems]

#personal

I've been thinking about writing again mostly for clarity and getting things out of my head. I've spent the last few days silent for the most part aside from grunts, farts, and loud burps. I spend a lot of time alone and yet I live in the heart of a city. The time I do spend lately has been the same old shit really. Applying for jobs is a daily thing for the most part. You get a rejection letter from Lucasfilm the day after you finish Dial of Destiny and it's no Temple of Doom moment really. I'm used to the rejection and the loneliness of it all. And succumbing to that would be a failure in and of itself. So in the spaces between where things aren't working life goes on. For all the hushed glances from the corners when you leave to check your mail, there's a sort of worse form of desperation projected at me than from within. I see people I once knew glowing up around the world. They've come a long way from train wrecking the tag team dj sets we used to share in dirty basements. But I'm sure they secretly somewhere in the back of their mind feel one day they'll be found out. That's kind of the opposite for me. If somehow one day someone found out all the stuff about me people refused to tell them it would only reiterate what I write down here. And in that respect you star to learn that it cannot rain forever. Just like you can't really expect to feel good forever at the expense of a lie. Or at least a lie that relies on other lies to sustain itself. The narrative I hold these days is pretty simple if people would just ask me. And yet there's this hidden power that nobody asks. Nobody clarifies. They hint sure. Sometimes they even project the fear into me as if I really had the luxury to be afraid of anything at my age. My birthday is coming up. About my only plans were a train to the suburbs to have a lunch of Italian beef with my dad. He's more excited about celebrating it than I am. At his age, the jokes about being old feel more at my expense than his. And yet we're living in this time where people only get younger and older and everything in between is a hot mess. People are so desperate to fit into something that they forget about growing into themselves. And I've been here regardless doing my thing like forever now. What really has changed much other than the broken record of me saying the same old shit.

As negative as I feel about other people, I still enjoy things a lot more than I used to. I recognize talking to myself about the world's problems never solves anything. It just makes me upset. I'm sure I'd be way more upset if I still had forward facing social media to complain with the group. I use LinkedIn to find a job. And honestly, I'm not sure it is very successful for that. Sure the crown prince of a Middle Eastern country will sometimes celebrate your comment about sobriety here and there. But I'm not sure how much that really translates to a successful job search. If anything there are these occasional above world realizations that I am not indeed a fucking ghost. That regardless of what a bunch of losers I used to hang out with think, I still am my own person and life goes on. I've travelled around the world by myself and generally been able to make friends at a moment's notice. But my real friends are in the traditional cyberpunk sense amorphously underground in a sea of names, handles, and content. I appreciate that. I love it as much as I would love a dear friend. And the scariest thing to me culturally is understanding that this is way the digital world is now. You watch people trying to perform the same function on Instagram with a series of fake accounts, bar star dickheads, and forum trolls. What you do with a simple heart here on Tumblr is replaced with the same crying emoji four times over. However distant people think of contact on the internet has become, I still value a click on my dash here more than most things. I still live by the fact that what is cool is defined by people who actually have a quantifiable data set that I trust. I still understand that explaining it in three paragraphs now and again instead of every week still hits where it counts. I don't really fuck around with mainstream society. I never have. And most of the people who claimed to be underground and edgy are now trying to play rock festivals hosted by cults and military psyops. Maybe that's a little edgy for me to say. But I'd still rather work at a felafel place than trying to be seen in a maze of drink tickets, drugs, and bad credit card debt.

However over it all nostalgically I am, there's something else rising from the much lately in America that's worse. Getting a job shouldn't be a popularity contest at this point. I'm not old enough to claim age discrimination which is something to celebrate. My dad is technically still working. Since no one will ever be able to afford a house or retire then it really reiterates the point that everyone gets time stretched in the middle. Class included. I'm mentally very different enough from people to be avoided at all costs in conversation. I realize I've intimidated people over time through isolation. But now I don't smile enough for the camera. I don't have a video resume. I don't have an active TikTok account as an adult which I think is batshit crazy. I don't go out to the bar and network over the sports game. I try to interact with cybersecurity contractors who work for DARPA only to be shadow banned by a secret cadre of giga chads who troll as part of their job description for the US military. I read about how horrible the Chinese economy is and wonder how much of that propaganda in the news media owned by five corporations in America is simply racism. I get bullied into thinking America is all there is when my passport says otherwise. I've always been talked over. This is why I still take the time to write it all down here. But the imposter syndrome is like a cliff. At some point what I'm dealing with now is just as cutting edge as everything I've gone through. Six months from now everything I complained about people will be wailing to the sky. And I start to wonder if going through all this is just part of regular growth. It isn't like I haven't learned to budget better. Make better decisions about the future. Lift weights every day and practice kung fu. Communicate with the common man through the litter they leave behind. Watch shitty movies with flute scores and revel in anime I never got the chance to pay attention to fully. Hang out with my friends anonymously on the internet while people on crack make up conspiracy theories on some forum about what I'm really doing. It is funny to me in some ways that I am living the William Gibson novel that even William Gibson refuses to write. A future where we fail and make up for lost time by accepting life instead of wasting it. That's love. And if anything I've learned to love unconditionally in a very real way. So much so that it's hard to stomach how fake every other sentiment is right now. That's what solitude and writing is for. <3 Tim

[noescape-vg]

Media layoffs are nothing new anymore. Surprise and anger has been replaced with this kind of exhausted resignation (no pun intended), this beleaguered acceptance that “this is just the way things are.” The games media industry is certainly no stranger to cuts and closings. Fanbyte gutted, Launcher gone… every other site shedding handfuls of talented people seemingly by the day. It paints a bleak picture. Even before today, the accepted wisdom has already changed to “don’t try to get a job as a critic or a journalist in this industry, at least not right now,” because there are just very few safe, stable options. 

Vice shuttering Waypoint, though, is a total unmooring gut-punch.

What does Waypoint mean to games media? I mean, just ask around. Folks all over what’s left of social media have been talking about the often profound effect Waypoint‘s mere existence has had on them, either as freelancers trying to make a name for themselves in a cutthroat industry or simply because of the content the site published. Some of the keywords people have used to describe the criticism and journalism put out by Waypoint: humane. Holistic. Comprehensive. Thoughtful. Life-changing. 

I think a lot about this speech from Brassed Off, where Pete Postlethwaite’s character Danny Ormondroyd refuses to accept the award for a national brass band competition after his band, the Grimley Brass Band, wins for their rendition of the William Tell Overture. “This band behind me’ll tell you that that trophy means more to me than aught else in the whole world. But they’d be wrong,” he says. “The truth is, I thought it mattered. I thought that music mattered. But it doesn’t bollocks. Not compared to how people matter.” Waypoint understood this. It was a site that specialized in games criticism that focused on the people who made and played them. Losing it feels like losing a piece of one’s soul. It isn’t like death, per se, but a comprehensive diminishing, a removal of life’s color in a meaningful sense.

Former Waypoint Editor-in-Chief Austin Walker reposted the site’s mission statement in response to the news today. I’ve spent the afternoon slowly reading through it and digesting it. In the post, Walker talks about how terrifying nights in Dragon’s Dogmaare (can confirm, holy shit) and how, in order to complete some of the game’s more involved quests, he would have to plan extensively in advance; and prior to departure, he would set a titular waypoint to guide him. 

Waypoints in the context of games, Walker continues, are “the first (and brightest) illustration of a player’s intention.” They are ways of orienting ourselves to our goal in inherently unfamiliar environments combined with statements of purpose: we are going to the place to do a thing, and in so doing we will have Played The Game. “Before we assault the fortress, before we start the race, before we leap from one star system to another, we set a waypoint,” he wrote. “They are the marks we leave on the map, the beacons we place in the dark that declare, yes, we will walk into the night.”

I didn’t get too terribly far through Death Stranding, but waypoints were one of the basic mechanics I loved—and grew to rely on—in my short play sessions. There are different kinds of waypoint markers in Death Stranding, including purely social ones, just little digital pips that let you know someone else had been there before, or liked a bridge you made, or warned of BTs in the area before your baby in a jar could wake up to tell you. These signs of life – also seen in games like Dark Souls and Elden Ring – made the empty world feel less barren. It helped make me as the player feel less alone. 

Losing Waypoint feels scary. As others have commented, it feels like the end of a specific era of game criticism, one where thoughtful, considered writing about games and the culture around them had an institutional home, is officially over. But like the little thumbs-up or emoji strewn across the alien America of Death Stranding, I don’t think Waypoint – what it as an institution stood for, what its people represented, what its body of work entails – needs to go away entirely. We can carry its mission forward. We can set new waypoints. We can continue to walk into the night.

Waypoint‘s raison d’être is as follows: 

be a guide to games culture

investigate how and why people play games

make readers think, laugh, and ask new questions about games and the world around them

Games will not save us. But we cannot escape them. They are reflections of the way we interact with work, with household chores, with our friends, family and neighbors, with the world itself. For as long as video games exist, for as long as there is a digital culture to speak of, we can continue to light beacons in the night for ourselves and whoever else might come this way.

[maya-matlin]

I was reading your tag on the meeting with zaya in s11. Zaya definitely had a great first meeting arguably the best. I would agree I mean all of that scene is truly adorable and funny and it stands out to me.

I do feel a little bit that way for semmas meeting, where she'd been pining all day or trying to like figure out how she was gonna speak to him bc she maybe found him intimidating, and then finally she sees he's about to get in trouble bc he might fight jimmy, and kind of takes control of the situation even tho it's not really her business kind of like how maya went along with the rouse of pretending to be a jilted gf and improvising (lol scoundrel) without a script and did the first thing to come to mind. Both meetings seemed to me very like important.

Although with semma/Emma, she simply wanted someone to hang out with at the dance, but she had an opportunity to at least dance at the dance, and her intentions were good. I like that both zaya and semma had significant developments prior to dating zaya more than semma with the length of time. Idk people compare then sometimes the only real similarity is leading lady with a meet cute power couple relationship.

Both girls were intentions were good, for maya a new friend at her school, for emma befriending the cute new kid who she knew not much about. So it's cute to me as well. 😍💕 there is definitely overlap with zaya and semma but not that significant. Two awesome first meetings.

Yeah. I know Zig and Maya have way better scenes, but they got off to such a good start. Season 11 was overall a pretty weak season for them other than Underneath It All, but I really love that the writers made it a point to set up that pairing long before their romantic arc truly started.

Ooh, I never thought to compare those two scenes, but that's a good point about both Maya and Emma kind of needing to improvise to get their crush out of trouble.

Right. Ultimately, Zaya kind of borrowed from multiple ships while also having their own unique story. I don't think any other Degrassi pairing did the friends to lovers thing better than them. I think they followed the Semma pattern in the sense that it was the bad boy with the good girl, but I also feel like a lot of their story more closely resembles Joey and Caitlin's. Zig/Joey initially overlooked Maya/Caitlin for Tori/Liz. Maya and Caitlin had boyfriends who committed suicide (Cam and Claude). Joey cheated with Tessa, while Zig cheated with Zoe. Though thankfully, that was just one awful slip up in contrast to Joey kind of smugly repeatedly sleeping with Tessa until it blew up in his face. Personally, I'm just relieved Zaya didn't follow the Eclare pattern.

For sure! I think Zaya and Semma have some aesthetic similarities. Obviously later on, the writers kind of ripped off the Semma/Pemma triangle with Zaya/Matlingsworth. The first one was played more straight with Sean being the obvious troubled but ultimately good guy while Peter was the villain who used his privilege to eliminate his rival. With Zig and Miles, we weren't so sure how it would end up playing out because Zig had such a chip on his shoulder and was taking on this persona (kind of like season 3 Sean, but more aggressive) after being absent for most of the season. Miles had been introduced more sympathetically than Peter and had just come off episodes where we'd seen his home life and watched him stick up for Zoe. Based on what we'd seen of both (Zig in season 12, Miles in parts of season 13), it wasn't too shocking when things kind of reversed themselves and Maya decided Zig was the one she could trust and rely on while Miles was consistently letting her down. And of course, Zaya had the history and chemistry much like Semma did. Anyways, I digress.

[randomidiocyncrazies]

B, H, O, S?

thanks for the ask!!

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

i know i've talked about Dojima/Namatame before, but it's one of those things that i never thought about until i saw a prompt for it on the kinkmeme back in the day??? and once i started thinking about it i feel like... as much of a crack ship this sounds like, there's basis for understanding but also conflict (obviously) that makes them interesting to ship under specific circumstances? though i guess i did most of the work figuring out how their dynamic might look like

also, your pitch for sombra/symmetra makes a lot of sense! while i didn't oppose shipping them beforehand, i was never quite convinced until you broke their possible dynamic down

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

hm, i think i come across animation more often than the other examples listed—i love animation! so from statistics it's likelier for me to be into a fandom of an animated show, and live-action stuff is very hit or miss for me.

for writing fic though, i guess i like books/manga/comics because it's easier for me to find the exact location of a scene that i want to reference?

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

hm. most of my music are OST or songs associated with a specific property, so it's gonna be biased. i guess i'll go on youtube or spotify or something try to find a random song

*15 minutes later*

NEVER SAY GOODBYE (apparently it's an opening for Golden Kamuy, but since idk anything about it* i figure it's neutral enough): it's got an extremely shounen vibe, so Kamina from Gurren Lagann is an obvious shoe-in—he is THE Cool Big Bro in my cultural consciousness after all.

*the only thing i know about Golden Kamuy is that the author loves drawing naked muscly men and there are a lot of animal deaths(?)

just for fun there's another one: YoiYoi KonKon (lyrics)—my Japanese is nowhere near good enough to parse the lyrics, so i'm purely going by vibes alone. the whole thing screams "reckless indulgence", and the mesh of traditional instruments with a modern beat/melody obviously turned my mind towards settings and characters kinda caught between time? not necessarily literally, just that they're lost/losing themselves in some sense. I guess the use of traditional instruments plus the "recklessly losing myself in pleasure to hide/run away from my sadness" kinda made me think of Tsunayoshi (or Tokuko) from Ooku the Inner Chambers, the one where most of Japan were ruled by women bc a freak plague decimated the male population

(also, the vibe of this song reminds me of Tokio Funka a bit)

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

okay so i assume this means "show us an example of a headcanon in your fanworks"?

the headcanon about YukiChie cooking and Yosuke's crappy pics in the (still unfinished) YukiChie fic that you beta'd:

Wounded pride aside, her mother has a point. They can’t rely on other people to cook for them all the time. It’s one of those Essential Life Skills™ that they were supposed to have mastered by the time they finished high school or whatever. Yu’s been making (and generously sharing) delicious lunches for as long as they’ve known him, and Rise’s cooking is perfectly safe as long as she doesn't have access to chili powder. Kanji and Naoto do fine on their own too. Heck, even Yosuke knows how to make staple dishes, judging by all the terrible photos he posts to their group chat at the weirdest times (also: she’s gonna show up at his university dorm and murder him if he ever spams her with blurry homemade tamagoyaki pics at 3 AM again.Yukiko will help her hide the body.) So yeah. They’re way behind schedule at this point, and it’s kind of a bummer to realize their culinary skills are about on par with Teddie’s—probably with him taking the lead to boot.

(I also absolutely think Yukiko doesn't look at recipes because she thinks she should just figure it out on her own)

[ask prompts here!]