#A MONTH LATER IN PAIN

[cannibalgh0st]

Finally, at my doctor's appointment 😭

[3liza]

the number of afab people replying to the pain poll going "yeah I've broken limbs and had 1st degree burns and given birth but nothing tops my menstrual pain" is so fucked up it is unbelievable. and I was right there with everyone else until I stumbled on a low dose progestin regimen that just made me stop menstruating. which I would recommend to everyone except it just doesn't work for everyone. ask your doc about it though, it won't cause permanent side effects or injury to try it out. i take norethindrone 2.5mg 2x/day. this dose has to be different for each patient to work correctly, that's just what I take. there's some research to suggest synthetic progesterone like norethindrone is carcinogenic so I'm going to look into switching. anyway i just got extremely lucky. there is seriously nothing like it. it was the worst pain I ever felt until the urology incident and frankly I think the menstrual pain was already a factor in the outcome of the urology incident

[benevolenterrancy]

Can I ask what was your first impression of TGCF and if it turned out wrong or right?

My first impression of TGCF was "this goof continuously ascends to -- and gets kicked out of -- heaven, this is going to be clown town isn't it?"

And honestly I stand by that one, I think I was completely correct**

(**barring the fact that this goof will then go on to experience ever conceivable horror known to man but honestly I mostly expected it after MDZS)

[trensu]

do you think you'll put "Stasis in darkness" on AO3 eventually?

see, when the idea first came to me, I hadn't really planned on doing anything with it because I wasn't sure if I could make it work. there's a level of gravitas in the relationship between a god and their devoted servant that I didn't think would translate well to steddie because, let's be real, those boys are goofy dorks. but the idea wouldn't leave me alone so I typed up the original post in an attempt to work it out of my system and move on.

(the post kind of blew up, which I was not expecting at all!! like, not even a little bit! i post all sorts of rough little ideas for my own amusement and I've been able to do that without drawing much attention until that point.)

Anyway, I wouldn't have done much with it but @acowardinmordor left some comments/tags/what have you that helped me nail down the setting in my head which really opened the door for me to explore how the story could progress. (apologies, strife, I'm not sure I ever properly thanked you for that burst of inspiration, so please accept this shoutout as an expression of gratitude). And the amazing @ent-is-indecisive allowed me to rant about it which really helped flesh out the story. Seriously, there are elements and lore coming up that would not have existed if it weren't for ent. (and thank you once again ent for the ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL fanart you made for the reveal scene, I'm still overcome with joy whenever I think about it!).

Once it got to that point, I knew I wanted it to be a self-contained story and I was afraid that if I did a multi-chapter fic I'd lose the thread and never make it to the ending I want the fic to have. (no, the end scene hasn't been written yet but I KNOW what it's going to be and I hope everyone will love it as much as i do). So I promised myself that I was not going to post it on ao3 until the whole thing was written out completely.

However, I occasionally need a confidence/motivation boost so I've been posting consecutive parts of the rough draft here. you have no idea how much the people who reblogged with tags or left comments have helped me fight off the discouragement my brain likes to bog me down with; off the top of my head, @godsweakestboy , @redfreckledwolf, @fuctacles , @spectrum-spectre , and @lawrencebshoggoth have given me lovely, enthusiastic words of encouragement. and they're only the ones I can think of at this moment. there's so many other people who've done this, so if you've ever left me nice tags or comments, please know that I've read every single one of them repeatedly whenever I need to get over a slump. I'm so grateful for all of you!

Anyway, all this is to say yes! It is going to be posted as a oneshot on ao3 once I've finished writing it. <3

[qrowscant]

back to writing link rot finally >:3c

[twinstxrs]

“kristen applebees religion struggle overdone at this point” TO YOU! i personally am thinking about how helio, yes?, & cassandra relate to where kristen is at mentally in her journey of learning to live for herself & not for god and how helio is representative of kristen’s family, yes? is representative of tracker, & cassandra is representative of kristen herself, which is why kristen is shunning her.

[northern-passage]

i suppose i should do a little check in... i managed to finish ch3 of blood choke for nanowrimo (yay) but i'm still not where i want to be with tnp (boo)

it's been slow going... in general after the blood choke update my motivation kinda dropped more than i was expecting, which was foolish given the time of year. holidays are always a pain since i work retail....

anyways all that to say that i'm currently working on tnp. blood choke has shifted to the backburner - i'm still working on that, too, but my main focus now is to finish the ch2 blackwater route for tnp. i've also relegated my other projects to backburner as well. i really want to finish this damn tnp chapter before anything else at this point lmfao

i'm also going to be hosting a jam (which i'll announce tomorrow) along with some of my pals that will be through jan-feb, and i have a short game planned for that which i don't think will take up too much of my time.

thanks everyone for your patience and for sticking around as always 💗 i know it's been a long time and i appreciate the support you all still show me for this story.

[zorosdimples]

knowing i should take a step back from tumblr for my own wellbeing vs. being emotionally attached to this app and the people on it

[ebonytails]

sorry my post is just to complain but guys i literally hate adobe after effects. i can not explain to you the mental torture and how LOW it has brought my mental health because I *need* to use it for my post production class because it's "industry standard". ADOBE After Effects has made me write off the entire film and video production industry as a turn off and I never want to do it ever again.

The amount of times this has crashed on me where I lost everything? 5+ hours of work? 8+ hours of work? It's my fault for not saving sometimes but I also have auto-save on. it didn't save anything so im just left with nothing.

You want a trip to burn out town really quick? Use adobe after effects in an academic setting where you have no choice but to use this program.

I have never in my life TOUCHED a program SO TERRIBLE that it made me never want to do anything about that form of art/media EVER AGAIN

[kukurubean]

♚ DEMON ATTORNEY

[amethystina]

This song is the newest addition to the Who Holds the Devil playlist and I may be a little bit obsessed with it. The vibes are immaculate.

Just look at these lyrics:

Hold my heart and hold my soul Lay my head down, I let go Come near and closer and bring me home Hold my heart and hold my soul

I've been waiting all these years You can heal my aching fears So take my hands now and make me whole Take my heart and take my soul

Hold my heart and hold my soul Let me stay here, by your fire All that I pray for, and all I desire Hold my heart and hold my soul Hold my soul

*chef's kiss*

The pain. The longing. The desperation.

It's very apt for that story if I do say so myself.

And, speaking of that: chapter 43 has been posted!

Enjoy! :D

[ghoulhusband]

i’m obviously incredibly biased but i do think it’s kinda more interesting if the courier isn’t mad that benny shot them. for whatever reason! but especially if they come from similar backgrounds where it’s like “well it was respectful. he clearly didn’t want to kill me specifically it was business. and he basically threw me a funeral while i was still alive” and then their bigger issue is figuring out what to do now that they’re not dead. do they get revenge out of principle, do they try to solve the mystery of it all, do they hunt him down just to ask him to apologize, do they get roped into it by victor, or just general events? idk i obviously understand the revenge angle is very motivating, i just think a courier who doesn’t hate benny is really interesting and fun to play with. and not just because he’s my favorite guy and i could never hold it against him

[puppyeared]

31!

31: are you messy or organized?

[lorelune]

the game plan:

- finish o4o in the next few weeks (barring pain levels, they have been higher than normal. more on that later)

- open up comms (i’ll probably take two or three OR i’ll be releasing a certain numbers of words that can be claimed for commissions out of the whole, until we hit that word cap) (if this doesn’t make sense i’ll explain more later trust)

- profit and pay off portos vet bill AND get a new work desk

[duality-disability]

Does any other disabled person with a mystery illness get the worry that their health problems are genetically caused?

like. I was adopted by my maternal grandparents. I dont know who my dad is, or his family history; My health issues are presenting in a way that no one else on my maternal side does, so I wonder if it's something that just.. Runs very strong genetically on my paternal side.

You don't know you're a zebra if you're in a pasture of horses, and well, you wont know unless someone tells you. A lot of the time you just get told "you're a weird lookin horse."

[sapphicdib]

me: i don’t have chronic pain or a disability!

also me: my head has been hurting for 3 days straight and at this point even 800mg of ibuprofen didn’t help

me: but i don’t have chronic pain or a disability :)!