#95% of the time I can go about my day like normal with no pain involved
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Having a flare up that is lasting far longer than it usually does while also knowing I'm going to have a procedure soon is basically a case of going
I just have to make it to Thursday
I just have to make it to Thursday
I just have to make it to Thursday
#holly talks#like thank fuck I even have a hospital date because it's been a year and a half since my referral#and at least 4 years now since I started having these bouts of pain#95% of the time I can go about my day like normal with no pain involved#maybe a moment of soreness if what I'm chewing hits the wrong spot but that only lasts a few seconds#the stupid thing is that I was meant to have this procedure on the 28th#but it got postponed because the doctor couldn't do it for whatever reason#it was only a couple weeks' delay so eh whatever#then right before easter weekend my flare up started#they've only lasted 2-3 days before but this fucker is still tormenting me over a week later#my messed up tooth telling me fuck you one last time#even painkillers are getting less effective the longer this goes on which is really fucking annoying
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Enhypen When You're on Your Period
-> Pairing: Enhypen x afab! Reader
-> Plot: How i think enhypen act/ what they do for you when you're on your period
-> Genre: fluff, very slightly suggestive, comfort, intentional lowercase
-> Warnings: none
-> Word Count: 950 (jungwon and niki's parts are slightly longer)
-> Notes: self-indulgent because I'm on my period rn and the thought of enhypen taking care of their girlfriend's on their period is so cute to me
Heeseung
hes so sweet about it but also cracks jokes. I do believe he'd be the one to be at the store when you ask him to pick up pads/ tampons for the first time and him asking "what size is your pussy?" and he's so serious. after being together for a couple of months he'd learn your cycle (so he can track the next time yall can fuck)
he would try his best to make you feel comfortable if you were having cramps. he would show up at your door with boba/ coffee/ tea, whatever you prefer and then offer to order takeout and spend the night in
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Jay
I know everyone thinks he's husband and its because he is. he would be on top of your period and better prepared for it than you would be. he would predict the day you would get your period and he's right 95% of the time. he always makes sure the bathroom is stocked with whatever you use, making sure to buy extra toilet paper and wipes that week.
he makes sure your favorite snacks are stocked in the kitchen and buys you a heating pad if you don't already have one. would cook dinner for you and set everything up and then clean up afterwards because you shouldn't "worry your pretty little head about a thing."
overall just the perfect person to take care of you on your period
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Jake
nervous pt. 1. I think jake would be nervous the first time you get your period when you guys started dating. he'd be scared to say or do the wrong thing that could make you upset or frustrated. its a stark contrast to his normally silly personality. he would treat you like you're made of glass if you tell him that you're cramping, as if you'd break if he touched you.
you'd have to reassure him that you're okay and that you're not gonna feel more pain if he holds you. once you calm him down of his fears, he'd be so sweet and perfect. he'd bring you a big bag of snacks and propose you watch funny youtube videos to cheer you up. he'd offer to massage you and then cuddle until you fall asleep
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Sunghoon
he's very calm the first time you get your period. he has a little sister so he knows about periods and knows the basics. he asks you what you like to do during this time and what you prefer to eat, etc. he likes to buy you small gifts that he thinks will cheer you up. he also proposes you guys go out and take walks to help you feel better, only if you're up for it, of course.
he'll make ramen for the both of you to eat cause he knows it warms you up and will throw on a movie for you two to watch. cleans everything up and then at the end of the night, he picks you up and carries you to bed
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Sunoo
the moment you told him you were on your period, he started researching everything there was to know about them. "I read that women prefer to have chocolates on their period so i bought you the one you like!"
he's very attentive to your mood. he knows that he can be sassy and while its normally for jokes, he eases up on the sass if he sees that you're uncomfortable or in pain and focuses on you feeling better. will do skincare with you at the end of the night because he knows you sometimes skip it if you're too tired. gets you matching headbands and wristbands to make the process cuter. he's just so lovely
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Jungwon
nervous pt. 2. of course he knows what periods are and he's been around people who have had their periods. but the first time you get you period he makes a joke about "how bad could they be?" and he immediately learns his lesson when you're shooting daggers at him. once you tell him all the things that happen to your body during your period (in too much detail for his liking) he is very mindful about your feelings.
he's like a little puppy, fetching you whatever you need the moment you ask for it. he learns the queues of when you're in pain or when you're feeling too hot or too cold and tried to remedy it instantly. he gives you plenty of hugs and kisses to help make you feel better and will do anything to see you laugh, your favorite being him making funny faces or messing with his hair <3
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Niki
he knows a lot more than it may seem. you may be his first girlfriend but he surprises you with how much he knows. he asks you what size pad/ tampon you need when you tell him. even if you don't need any, he'll go out and buy you some anyways, so you don't run out of them. he also would always keep an extra one in his bag whenever he's out with you in case you need it.
he would take you on cute little dates for ice cream for whenever you're craving a sweet treat. he would suggest you two play video games. if you're against each other he'd let you win, despite your protests. at the end of the night, he'd tell you to get ready for bed while he tidies up. he would find you laying in bed, already asleep and would pull the covers over you both before cuddling you to sleep.
#starrihan#enhypen#enha#lee heeseung#heeseung#jay#park jay#park jeongseong#jeongseong#jake#sim jake#sim jaeyun#jaeyun#sunghoon#park sunghoon#sunoo#kim sunoo#niki#nishimura riki#kpop#kpop reactions#kpop headcanons#enhypen headcanons#enhypen x reader
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Chapter 5: You're the One That I Want
Summary: You and Javi spend the day running errands when you encounter a few unexpected surprises. After returning back to your apartment, you both face the reality that your weekend together is coming to an end, hoping for more time together soon.
Word Count: 10.6K (I am so genuinely sorry, there's A LOT goin' on in this chapter.)
Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected P in V sex (don't be a fool, wrap your tool), vaginal fingering, creampie, car sex, semi-public sex, mentions of pregnancy/pregnancy scares, mentions of periods, mentions of food, sweet Javi being embarrassed about his past, Javi having it SO bad for you...Lorraine....
A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who's liked and reblogged, this is my first ever fic that I've written and I'm so glad people are enjoying it!!! 🥺 This chapter has a lot that happens and I already had to split it up once (yikes on my part), excited to write about what these two crazy kids are up to next!!
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You rummaged through your drawers to pull out a pair of black biker shorts and a form fitting sage green tank top, knowing that a Laredo 80 degree day felt like a Chicago 95. You normally would have gone baggy, oversized t-shirt, but given your company, you decided to up your wardrobe choices. Javi leaned against your doorway, arms folded and jaw slack as he watched you get dressed. He had already spent the majority of the morning with you naked, yet something about you putting on more clothes made him half hard again. It didn’t help that you had purposefully picked a black, lacy thong and skimpier than usual sports bra to go under your outfit. You looked yourself over in the mirror before meeting Javi in the doorway.
“Ready?”
“You sure we have to go? You’re killin’ me dressed like that, Osita.”
“Yes, we do, or I am going to die of starvation in my own home.” You pressed up on your tiptoes to give him a quick peck on the lips.
You did one last check of your kitchen before grabbing your grocery list, purse and keys and slipping on your shoes by your front door. Javi followed suit, trailing behind you as you led your way down the stairs to the parking lot. It was only 11:00 AM, but the hot Texas sun was already beating down, radiating heat waves from the asphalt. Reaching the parking lot, you both unknowingly began walking in separate directions. “Okay, so I’m thinking I’ll probably do my non-food stops first and then we can go to the grocery store after so nothing bakes too much in the car. God is it always this hot? Does that work?” Silence. “Javi?” You turned around to find that Javi had gone in the complete opposite direction “Where are you going?!” You shouted.
“My car is parked over here? Where are you going?”
“My car is parked over here” you pointed in the direction you were walking.
“Let me drive.”
“Do you think I’m not a good driver? Is it because I’m a woman? That’s a little sexist, don’t ya think?”
“What?! No I never said that?”
“Javi, I’m joking. I’m more than capable of driving.”
“I know you are, but I’m offering.”
You thought for a minute about pushing back again, but your boiling state in the blistering heat was a painful reminder you desperately needed to get your car AC fixed, and you weren’t going to subject Javi to burning alive with you.
“Fine.” You said with a huff of defeat, changing directions and making your way back toward Javi. You got to his truck as he opened up the passenger door for you and you muttered under your breath.
“And you think I’m the stubborn one.”
“I heard that.”
As Javi started his car, he pushed open the overhead compartment over the driver’s side to pull out a pair of yellow tinted aviators. It was truly unfair that this man found ways to keep getting hotter. The cool breeze from the AC hit your face as soft music played from the stereo.
“Where to first, Osita?”
“Toy-R-Us.”
Javi raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“Not for me, dummy. My niece turns 5 in a few weeks and even though I’m not close by, I still want to get her a birthday present. It should be quick, I think I know what I want to get her. Then we can go grocery shopping.”
Javi nodded in agreement as he backed out of his parking spot and you two hit the road.
“Didn’t know that you were an Aunt.”
“Yeah, my oldest brother, Charlie, has two little girls, 5 and 3, and he and his wife are expecting another one that’s due in November. Neither of my other brothers have kids. They’re the cutest. I miss them, don’t want Olivia to think I’m a deadbeat Aunt who forgot her birthday.”
“My old DEA partner Steve and his wife have a daughter named Olivia. Maybe a little bit older than your niece. Been a while since I’ve caught up with him.”
Javi could vividly remember the day he and Steve brought Olivia home to Connie, Steve’s wife. Crying and scared, Javi watching as they immediately wrapped little Olivia in their arms, showering her with love and affection. The 3 of them looked so perfect together, accepting the little girl into their family. While Javi congratulated them and told them he was happy Olivia would be in a safe home, he would never reveal the sting he felt knowing his chances of having what the Murphy’s did grew slimmer and slimmer with each day that passed in Colombia.
Before he left, Javi had always hoped he’d have a family. He loved his parents so dearly, and wished that one day he could have a resemblance of what they did with the person he loved. His relationship with Lorraine had left him hurt and scorned, as he had almost gotten what he had wished for, but with a woman who couldn’t have cared less about him. By the time he left Colombia, he had written the idea off completely. He was tired. Broken. Scared by the things he had seen, worse yet, done. If he could barely keep himself together, how the hell was he supposed to have a family? He couldn’t imagine burdening someone else, let alone children, with the weight he carried with him. That was until 5 days ago on a Wednesday afternoon in late May. That was until he met you.
“That’s nice that you still keep in touch with him.” You wanted to ask more, but for now, you would take any information you could get about his life before you.
“Yeah, Steve’s a good guy. Pain in my ass, but meant well.”
“You seem to attract a type.”
“And what would that be?”
“A pain in your ass.”
Javi shook his head and chuckled. “You’re a lot cuter than Steve. Makes it a little easier to forgive you.” You playfully punched him, the two of you laughing softly to yourselves as Javi reached his free hand down to set it on the bare skin of your thigh. You sat quietly for a few moments, enjoying his thumb trace gently around your flesh. It was a surprisingly quick trip to the Toys-R-Us. Javi’s truck pulled into a parking spot as you began debriefing him on what you needed as you walked into the store.
“Okay so when I talked on the phone with Olivia last week, she told me she really wants Polly Pockets. I’m just worried because the pieces are so small and I don’t want her sister to accidentally choke on them. I feel like a lot of the Kindergarteners really like those Sky Dancers but they always break. Her mom says she’s been into Pokémon cards but I feel like she’ll get bored of them.”
“Poké-what? Osita, I have no idea what the hell any of that means.”
“Right, sorry, I forgot not everyone spends the majority of their time with 8 year olds. This is all I hear about day in and day out, so I might as well put my knowledge to good use.”
Javi followed you through the brightly colored aisles, stopping as you occasionally would pick up a toy to examine it and then put it back down. As you walked, you talked about your favorite toys from childhood, Javi’s being his collection of Hot Wheels cars that he was convinced his dad still had somewhere in the attic, yours being your Lite Brite because it was the only thing your brothers wouldn’t try to take from you. You continued your journey until you stopped at a brightly colored bear holding a marker. “This one is perfect. My class loves these Doodle Bears. The bear is cute, she can draw on it and wash it off, and Charlie isn’t gonna be pissed that it needs batteries or will take forever to set up. Perfect.”
“Nice pick, Osita. Seems fitting.”
“I keep forgetting that means bear. Guess it is fitting.” You giggled as you plucked the bear off the shelf and began heading back towards the front of the store to check out. As you walked side by side, Javi reached down to grab your hand and interlock his fingers with yours. Neither of you said anything, but you didn’t need to. The smile on both of your faces said everything.
You made your way to the checkout lines, the store being fairly busy for a Sunday Afternoon. You settled on what seemed to be the shortest one, with only a mom, her husband and two little boys in front of you.
“TYLER AND SAMUEL DOOGAN, I SWEAR IF YOU DO NOT STOP CLIMBIN’ ALL OVER THIS CART THIS INSTANT, I WILL TAKE AWAY ALL OF YOUR POKÉMON CARDS FOR THE ENTIRE SUMMER.” You could feel the frustration radiating from the petite woman in front of you without even seeing her face. She turned around to face her husband standing behind her, reading a video game magazine, completely oblivious to his children’s antics. “Randy, can you please just tell them to get off? BOYS, ENOUGH.”
“Yeah, sure honey… Boys, you heard your mother, get down.” Randy muttered, not bothering to take his eyes off the magazine or even attempt to sound convincing.
You said nothing, knowing all too well how big of a pain kids could be, but when you turned up to look at Javi, his face had gone ghost white.
“Oh, fuck…” He muttered under his breath, just barely loud enough for you to hear.
“You okay?”
“Uh yeah, um-” His eyes darted frantically back and forth across the checkout aisles. “Um, it looks like there’s a shorter line over-”
“Javi?” The woman’s Texan twang spoke to him with an unsettling sense of familiarity.
“Hi, Lorraine.”
Oh shit. The wires in your brain clicked as you remember your co-workers mentioning their disdain for this woman. You still weren’t quite sure of her connection to Javi, but given his drained face and her snappy demeanor, you had a feeling this woman was bad news.
“Heard you’re back for good. How are things?”
“Uh, yeah. They’re fine. How about you?” You could practically feel the tension in Javi’s body.
“Fine. TYLER I SWEAR TO GOD.” She whipped her head around once again to yell at the fidgety boy.
“Randy, you remember Javi.”
Randy and Javi said nothing to each other and only exchanged painful grimaces, acknowledging the uncomfortable circumstance they found themselves in.
“What the hell you doin’ at a Toys-R-Us?”
You piped in, trying to give Javi any relief you could. “It’s um, my niece’s birthday. Just going shopping to get her something.”
“And you are?”
Stunned by her bluntness, you found yourself speechless. “Oh, um, I’m um-”
“She’s my girlfriend.”
His what?!
Javi gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. This trip was definitely not going as expected.
“Ah.” Her cold gaze met your shock. “Just be careful with this one.”
“Lorraine…”
“Fine, I won’t say anything else. Just figured she deserved a warning.”
“Lorraine, enough.” You had never heard his voice get that stern. Whatever had gone on between them had definitely not ended on good terms. “Looks like you got what you wanted anyways.” He gestured to the two boys now running wild up and down the checkout line, and Randy absent mindedly staring into his magazine.
If Lorraine’s looks could kill, Javi would be a dead man. Her brow scrunched deeper in anger. “Well, good to see you Javi.” She snapped back around as she picked up the bags at the end of the checkout aisle and grabbed both boys by the back of their shirts. “RANDY! Let’s go!” Finally coming to, Randy meandered behind, following Lorraine and the two squirming boys in her grasp.
“Fuck me…” Javi whispered to himself, running both of his hands over his face.
“Next in line!”
You checked out silently, figuring waiting to get back to the car was a better place to discuss what the hell just happened. The only thing breaking the dead silence on the way back to the truck was the occasional grunt or heavy sigh from Javi. You both took your perspective seats in the car as he started the engine.
“Soooooo… I’m not one to pry, but uh, what happened back there?”
“Fuck, Osita, I’m so sorry.” His fists were basically white knuckling the steering wheel at this point.
“Javi, why are you sorry?”
“Just- fuck. Her and how she talked to you, you shouldn’t have to deal with that.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, she seemed delightful.” Javi stared at the roof of his car, breathing deeply. Jokes weren’t going to help the situation. You reached out to grab his arm, causing him to shift his gaze at you. “Javi, like I said, I don’t want to pry, but I promise, whatever you tell me, I’m not gonna judge you for it. I get that shit happens, and it obviously seems like Lorraine isn’t the nicest, I’m sure there’s a good reason for whatever happened between you two.
He let out a few deep breaths, formulating his response. “It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got plenty of time.”
You grabbed his arm a little tighter, hoping that your sympathetic stare was enough to prove that you weren’t here to judge him for his past.
“Okay. Are you hungry? Do you wanna get lunch and talk about it?”
“I can always eat. What’d you have in mind?”
“There’s a sandwich place a few minutes from here. Been going there a lot since I started the new job. It’s pretty good. Does that work?”
“Love me a good sandwich. Sounds great, Javi.”
He nodded as you gave his muscles one more squeeze before letting him go so he could back out of his parking spot. You waited until he was back on the road to bring up the other no so subtle bomb that had just been dropped.
“Girlfriend, huh?”
A smile finally made its way back to his face.
“Uh, yeah. If uh, if that’s something you want. I know it’s um, kinda fast, but I really like you Osita.”
“I don’t know, I just really want to spend all my time hanging out with this super hot dude who’s sweet and funny and is the best sex I’ve ever had… but him being my boyfriend… I’m not sure…” you giggled and smirked at him.
“Best sex you’ve ever had, huh?” He smirked back at you and raised his eyebrows.
“Don’t let it go to your head too much.” You rolled your eyes and shrugged at him. “I really like you too, Javi. I would love to be your girlfriend.”
Both your faces spread wide with childish grins as you reached over to grab Javi’s hand and intertwine it with yours. Girlfriend. It had a nice ring to it.
Pulling into the small parking lot of Alejandro’s Deli and Sandwiches, you released your hand from his to cup his face, kissing him long and intensely.
“You ready, boyfriend?” Putting an extra emphasis on the last word.
“Yes, let’s go, you dork.”
The shop was small and well loved, and was clearly a favorite in the area. Past the deli counter were a few small sets of tables and chairs, where people were scattered about enjoying their food. As you waited in line and stared at the menu board, Javi’s hand never left yours.
“What are you thinking of getting?” Javi could clearly tell you were having a hard time deciding as the line continued to move forward.
“You’re the sandwich expert here, what do you normally get?”
“Either the club or the roast beef. Everyone says the BLT is good too.”
“Winner, winner, BLT dinner. I was trying to decide between that one and the Italian, but a BLT sounds SO good right now.”
“Do you want to go grab a table for us while I order? It gets busy here and there’s an open spot in the back corner.”
“Sure!” You let go of his hand to begin rummaging through your purse.
“What are you doing?”
“Looking through my purse for the other BLT I had stored in here. I’m getting money so I can pay for my sandwich.”
“You’re not paying for the sandwich.”
“Let me pay for it!”
“You’re not paying for it.”
“Ugh, Javier Peña, don’t deny that you are just as stubborn as I am. Fine, thank you for the sandwich.”
You sat your things down in the windowsill next to the corner in the back of the shop as you waited for Javi to join you. You looked around to see cute photos of what you assumed was Alejandro’s family, a man eating a sandwich as long as him, and 3 kids chasing a dog who had stolen their lunch. Javi returned quickly with your orders, plus a bag of chips and a chocolate chip cookie. “Chips and a cookie? A man after my own heart. Thank you again, this place is super cute!”
“Yeah the guys at the station suggested my first day because my dumbass forgot my lunch.”
You took a big bite of your sandwich as Javi spoke. “Well it’s a 10 out of 10 suggestion, this is the best sandwich I have had in so long.” You took a few more bites before working up the courage to bring up the reason you were eating sandwiches in the first place. “So… Lorraine.”
Javi wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and let out a heavy sigh before he spoke. “Yeah… Lorraine.”
You reached across the table to grab his hand. “Javi, like I said before, I’m not here to judge. I get that things happen. I promise, it’s not gonna make me think any less of you.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I know you’re a good person.”
Fuck. That one hit Javi in a way that he wasn’t sure how to feel. In his heart, he had convinced himself that he was the exact opposite. He wasn’t a good person. He didn’t deserve to have people think he was. He wasn’t a hero, he wasn’t someone that people should celebrate. A good person was the last thing he considered himself to be. But here you were. He has let you in to see the glimpses of his past and it only made you want him more. You wanted to be his girlfriend. You wanted to be with him. Despite the things he had done, and the person he so desperately wanted to separate himself from. You cared about him.
“You really want the whole story?”
“I have a full belly, handsome man to stare at while I listen, and all the time in the world. Yes. Full story.”
With a deep breath, Javi began to explain how he had met Lorraine in high school. On a dare from his friends, he asked Lorraine to prom after she had broken up with her all star quarterback boyfriend, and desperate not to go to her Senior year dance alone, she said yes. Things were never really great between them, Javi admitted they were young, stupid and horny, and when it was time for them to leave for different colleges, he had tried to put an end to things. That didn’t stop her from calling Javi every time she was at Texas A&M to visit friends to hook up with him and fuck with his head enough to make him reconsider things, until she left again, leaving him feeling dejected and empty. This went on until they both found themselves back in Laredo after graduating college, Javi working on his family ranch while applying for various law enforcement jobs and Lorraine working at her aunt’s flower shop. Now both back in the same place, Lorraine had approached Javi about wanting to try things again. He didn’t love the idea, but it didn’t stop them from hooking up in the back of his truck after he took her out for dinner a few days later.
A few weeks went by and Javi didn’t hear much from Lorraine, until one day he got a frantic phone call telling him to meet her as soon as possible. Once they were together, Javi found Lorraine crying in the diner parking lot she chose to have him meet at, and their conversation went a little like this:
“Lorraine, what’s wrong?”
“I missed my period. It’s two weeks late.”
“Fuck. How? We used a condom, right?”
“Yes. I don’t know Javi, apparently it can still happen.”
“Fuck me. Shit, um, okay. Okay, fuck. What do you want to do?”
“I don’t want all of Laredo to know that you knocked me up on a one night stand. God dammit, Javi, I don’t know? It doesn't look as bad if we were engaged or married, or something!”
“Married?! Lorraine…”
“Do you have a better idea?”
He didn’t. And in that moment, he panicked. How could he not? There was nothing less he wanted than to spend the rest of his life with Lorraine, let alone have a child with her. But he wasn’t going to leave this baby without a father and felt so awful about what he had done to Lorraine. He drove home that night, tears streaming down his face as he tried to come to grips with his fate.
The next two months were a whirlwind, Lorraine trying to plan the wedding as fast as possible to avoid any suspicions of looking pregnant. Flowers, catering, decorations, terrible, uncomfortable suits, Javi hated every moment of it. He was miserable. His parents knew something wasn’t right, despite Javi’s efforts to convince them otherwise. They never cared much for Lorraine to begin with, and the unfortunate circumstances weren’t helping.
A week before the wedding, Javi received a phone call, which to his relief, wasn’t Lorraine. It was a call from a secretary at the DEA office in Texas, asking if Javi wanted to come in and interview for a position. It was the first shred of hope he had felt in months, gladly offering to come in the next day. The interview went so well, the hiring agents offered him the position on the spot. There was only one catch. He was going to be stationed in Colombia, and he needed to leave by the end of the month. When he left, he thanked the team for their time, and told him that he would think about it. Everything in his body wanted to scream “I’ll leave right now, please, anything to get me out of the hell that I’m currently living in!” But he knew he needed to think about it first before he just up and left.
His brain stewed over his possibilities for the next few days, leaving him more absent minded about his impending wedding, even though it was less than a week away. The night before his big day, he couldn’t have felt worse. Lorraine had called him to come over and finish up last minute plans before the day came, and begrudgingly, Javi was at her house, listening to her frantically list of things that needed to happen before tomorrow. Javi didn’t hear a single word that came out of her mouth, and excused himself to go to her bathroom to try and get a moment of peace. After washing his hands, he looked down at the trash can next to the vanity. The next thing he knew, he was carrying the waste basket to Lorraine, using every last ounce of self restraint he had not to completely lose it.
“Lorraine.”
“What?”
“What the fuck is this?” He held up the waste basket, his hands shaking.
“What the fuck are you talking about, Javi?”
“You know exactly what the fuck I’m talking about Lorraine. Why the fuck is your trashcan filled with tampon wrappers and a fucking negative pregnancy test?!”
She sat in silence.
“Lorraine, fucking answer me!”
“My period started last week.”
“And you weren’t going to tell me?!”
“Javi, the wedding is less than a week away!”
“Lorraine, that was the whole fucking reason we were doing this in the first place! What did you expect, for me just to not notice when you didn’t have a kid 7 months from now?! Jesus Fucking Christ.”
“What did you want me to do, Javi?! I can’t just call off the wedding, my parents paid a lot of money for this, there are people coming from all over! It would be embarrassing!”
“I can’t fucking believe this. You were actually going to go through with this and didn’t even care if you told me that you weren’t really pregnant. Unbelievable.” Slamming the trashcan down on the ground, Javi stormed out the door.
“Javi, wait!”
“Fuck you, Lorraine.”
There was no use trying to deny it anymore. When Javi came home, he broke down to his parents what had happened and how this whole mess had begun in the first place. She wasn’t pregnant, he didn’t want to marry her, he wanted to get as far away as possible from the wake of destruction he had left in his past. He practically begged his parents to drop him off at the airport, wanting to leave as soon as he could. As much as his parents hated to see him go, they couldn’t contribute to the pain and guilt their son already felt. That night was spent calling the DEA to accept the position, packing everything Javi could fit in a suitcase and hugging his mom and dad tightly as he said his goodbyes and got ready to board the next plane to Colombia. The next day, Lorraine was so busy preparing herself and getting ready for the wedding, making sure everyone knew the day revolved around her, that she had no idea Javi was already on a plane across the country. It wasn’t until all of the guests were seated and waiting in the pews of the church that they had figured out Javi was gone.
Lorraine had obviously come to some peace about it, hearing through the phone calls with his parents that 8 months later she was engaged to some guy named Randy who had some big wig job in finance. He had been home not too long ago, HR mandating that he had to use some of his PTO days he refused to take, to attend a wedding of one of his dad’s cousins, where he saw Lorraine for the first time since he had left her at the alter. She had been nicer to Javi then, perhaps taking pity on the fact that he looked so sad and desperate as he tried to talk with her. There must have been something about seeing Javi happy with another woman that absolutely set her ablaze, leaving you in the wake of the mess that was Lorraine Doogan.
Javi finished his story with a deep breath and another run of his hand across his face.
“Javi, holy shit.”
“You ready to take back that ‘you’re a good person’ comment yet?”
One hand reached up to cup the side of his strong jaw, while the other grabbed his hand resting on the table that had been curled up in a fist the entirety of telling his story. “Javi, what are you talking about? Of course not. What Lorraine did you was so fucked up, trying to trap you into marrying her with an imaginary baby because she was too embarrassed to say otherwise? I’m so sorry that happened to you, Javi.”
His only response was a half forced smile, his eyes still staring down at the table.
“If it makes you feel any better, her kids are absolute assholes- I know it’s mean to say that about a kid, but it’s true. They go to my school and they’re in the office every day getting yelled at for doing something stupid. To be honest, I kind of think you dodged a bullet on that one.” His face perked up a little more, letting out a small huff of laughter. You pushed his chin up, forcing him to look at you.
“Javier Peña, look at me.” You could almost see the guilt and sadness welling in his eyes. “I do not think you are a terrible person. I promise. Thank you for telling me about this, I’m glad you trust me enough to let me know.” You leaned across the small table between you to give him a kiss.
“Thanks, Osita.”
“There’s nothing to thank me for. I’m here to listen whenever you want to talk. Whaddya say we go get the rest of these groceries so we can head back?”
You gathered the remains of your lunch to throw away, taking the unopened bag of chips to go as you buckled back in for your final destination. The grocery store was in the complete opposite direction of your current location, so you began shuffling through the CD compartment in his glove box to try and pick out some music to lighten the mood for your drive.
“Fleetwood Mac, AC/DC, Stevie Wonder, Kenny Rogers… The Grease Soundtrack?! You are a man of many different tastes, Mr. Peña.”
“Okay, the Grease one Steve gave to me as a joke one year for my birthday.”
“And yet, here it is in your car. That means you had to take it all the way back from Colombia with you, unpack it, AND put it in here.” You waved the CD around in your hands, mockingly.
“...Some of the songs are kind of catchy.”
“I knew it!” You popped the CD out of its case and into the radio. “What song do you want?”
“I don’t really know the names of any of them…”
You crossed your arms and smirked at him, knowing sooner or later, he'd give you a response.
“.... You’re The One That I Want.” Javi admittedly defeated.
“Don’t know any of the names, my ass.” You laughed to yourself as you skipped several tracks ahead to Javi’s song selection.
You turned the volume up as you let the music play through John Travolta’s verse, curious to see if you could catch Javi singing along. By the time you were at Olivia Newton-John’s part, you had bursted into full out song, Javi snickering to himself watching your theatrics.
“You better shape up, ‘cause I need a man. And my heart is set on youuuuuuuuu!” You continued your performance through your laughing and dancing. It didn’t take long for you to spy out of the corner of your eye, Javi beginning to mouth the words to himself. You had already teased him enough about his enjoyment of the song that you weren’t about to say a single thing as he sang along. It warmed your heart to see Javi bring down his guard, letting you further and further into the world he lived in. Even if all it was, was singing together in his car. As the song ended, Javi turned down the music, his face suddenly becoming more serious.
“If you ever meet Steve, you have to swear to me you’ll never tell him about this. He will never let me live it down.”
“I’m not sure… I know very little about Steve, but the thought of how much shit he’d give you for your deep, dark, Grease secret does sound entertaining.”
Javi’s mood now having done a complete 180 from your last drive to the sandwich shop, you both headed into the grocery store happy and ready for the last part of your errands. Grabbing a cart, you headed through the produce section, starting with fruits.
“Okay, list says I need apples, bananas, blueberries and maybe strawberries if they’re good.” You both casually strolled, Javi reaching for the items from your list closest to you and putting them into your cart as you continued on your journey. You made your way through vegetables next, Javi very explicitly stating his distaste for the carrot sticks you had on your list.
“They’re so crunchy and bland, and they just remind me of feeding the horses.”
“You have horses at your ranch?”
“Yup, a few of them. Some of our family keeps their horses there, but Pops and I take care of them all.”
“That’s so cool! Do you have any other animals there?”
“Cows and sheep mostly. Some random chickens that we can’t seem to get rid of.”
“That’s amazing. The reason I chose Laredo to move to is because my best friend from elementary school moved down here when we were in high school, and I would visit her family every summer on their ranch. She always made fun of me for how it seemed like I was always more excited to see the animals than her.”
“You can come over to the ranch and see the animals if you want.”
“Really?!”
“Any time, Osita.”
You threw another bag of carrots into your cart. “If I want these horses to like me, I gotta bribe them with something!” Javi laughed, picking the bag up and putting it back with the other carrots.
“Baby, we have plenty of carrots at the ranch. I’m not eating any extras you get.”
You breezed through the rest of your trip, quickly filling up your cart as you and Javi talked more about his ranch, any other foods that fell into the same category as carrots (you were thankful that you both collectively agreed that olives belonged in the same realm), and made fun of you as you put the largest sized vanilla coffee creamer in with the rest of your items. Your checkout line experience was much more pleasant than the one you had experienced a few hours ago. Javi knew the older, frail man working the register, greeting him politely.
“Hi Mr. Garcia, how are you?”
“Javier Peña. Good to see you son. I heard from Chucho you ditched him at the ranch for a new job at the sheriff’s department.”
“I don’t know if ditch is the right word, still try to help out while I can.”
Polite smiles were exchanged as you continued to load items from your cart onto the conveyor belt.
“I don’t think I’ve met your wife before.” Mr. Garcia now looking at you. Javi just about dropped the carton of eggs he was carrying before responding. Part of him almost didn’t even want to correct it.
“Uh, no, um, girlfriend.”
“Well, she’s a cutie.” Mr. Garcia winked at you before you raised your eyebrows to smirk at a now very flustered and embarrassed Javi.
“I don’t know, Jav. Looks like you’ve got some competition. Mr. Garcia seems like a real catch.” You playfully winked back at him, causing the old man to rumble with laughter.
“And funny too.”
You loaded the bags back into your cart and paid for your groceries. As you were sorting, you overhead the two men talking.
“She’s a keeper, Javier.”
“Yeah, she is.”
Now a little louder, Mr. Garcia helped you load the last bag into your cart before saying goodbye. “Nice to see you Javi. Nice to meet you too, sweetheart.”
“Thanks Mr. Garcia, have a nice day!”
You began loading your items into Javi’s trunk, watching as his biceps flexed deliciously as he lifted the bags up to put them away. You really had to convince yourself to focus on putting the rest of your groceries away.
Your errands done for the day, you and Javi began the drive back to your apartment. It hadn’t hit you until you looked at the clock radio in his car that it was already 5 o’clock, and that your time with Javi was starting to dwindle, considering the fact that both of you had to work the next day. You glanced at him as he was driving, aviators propped on his face, the tanned skin of his chest exposed from the buttons he seemed to hate having done up, his arms grasping the steering wheel. The image of him made your heart race. Wanting to make sure you capitalized on your time, and realizing now you had zero self control, you were tempted to ask him to pull over his truck right then and there. No, you can make it until you get home, you horny idiot. You thought to yourself, knowing how pissed you would be if you ruined your groceries all because you couldn’t control yourself for a few more minutes. Subconsciously, you licked around your bottom lip, staring at the gorgeous man next to you.
“Hermosa?”
“Huh, what? Did you say something?” You shook your head to bring yourself back to reality.
“I asked if we needed to stop anywhere before we went back to your apartment.”
“Oh, no. I, uh, I don’t need anything else, sorry.”
“Something on your mind?” Javi prodded, noticing that you hadn’t fully been paying attention.
“No, nothing, I’m good.” He spotted the lie instantly. Grasping around the exposed meat of your thigh he gave it a squeeze before sliding his hand further up your leg.
“Sure you don’t have anything on your mind?” His hand now at your hip, fingers dancing along the hem of your shorts, grazing your skin. He knew exactly what he was doing. Your breathing sped up as you let a gulp fall down your throat. At this point, you were only 5 minutes away from your apartment, but you were absolutely positive you were not going to make it that long. Fuck it, your groceries would be fine, right?
“Pull over.”
Thankful for the long stretches of dirt roads and pockets of abandoned buildings on your way back to your apartment, Javi quickly pulled off to an empty parking lot of a closed down store. You were practically jumping into his lap by the time he had put the car in park. Mouths and tongues clashed as you pulled yourselves into one another. Your kissing reflected the sexual tension that had quickly built up in the truck only minutes ago as you frantically moved about. Feeling how worked up you were already, you sought to seek some form of relief by grinding down on the seam of Javi’s jeans, relieving some of the ache between your legs. Javi grabbed your hips, his fingers digging into the outside of your shorts as he pushed you down into him. He reciprocated the motion, pushing himself up into you, no better than two horny teenagers dry humping in the secret of their parent’s basement. Javi kissed your neck before the tickle of his mustache crept near your ear.
“So needy, baby. Couldn’t wait ‘till we got back, huh?”
In between your mouths meeting you were able to break away for a few moments to respond.
“Well if my boyfriend wasn’t so fucking hot it would have made it a lot easier. I want you so bad Javi.”
Just like that, Javi had you stripped down to your bra, practically ripping your tank top off you. You helped him shuffle down your shorts and thong, taking a moment to smack it against your ass before it looked around your ankles. His hand reached down to palm around your pussy, already wet from the short time you had spent grinding into his lap. He ran his fingers up and down the length of your folds, collecting your slick before dipping inside of you.
“Fuck Hermosa, always so wet for me. Want me to cum inside you like I did this morning? Fill you up?
Before you could answer, his thumb began a frantic pace against your clit to match the pace his fingers pumped in and out of you. He pulled his face closer into your breasts, kissing around them and sucking on your pebbled nipples. Your hips grinded down on his hand, pushing his fingers deeper in you. You tilted your head back and moaned in pleasure. His fingers continued in and out, hitting the spongy spot deep inside you that made you feel like you were about to come undone. That, matched with his calloused thumb rubbing against your bundle of nerves had you on the edge of collapse.
“Javi, fuck, fuck I’m almost there, I’m gonna-“
You felt the coil in your belly snap suddenly, as pleasure ran though you with a sheer intensity. Your hips came to a stop as you slumped into his body, breathing heavily. Your head rested in the crook of his neck as he whispered to you.
“Such a good fucking girl. Always taking me so well.”
As he watched you come down from your high, he gently pushed you further down his lap to undo his belt buckle and slide down his pants and boxers just low enough to let his already hard cock spring to its release. You scooted yourself further up again, licking your palm to wrap around Javi’s girth, stroking him a few times before raising your hips up to slowly sink down on his length. You gasped at the sweet sting of his size inside you, taking your time to adjust, lowering down on to him inch by inch. You both moaned as you bottomed out on him and you began to move yourself up and down, feeling him repeatedly filling you and hitting that incredible spot inside you. Javi wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to his chest as you sped up the intensity of your movements. Your clit rubbed against the jeans scrunched around his thighs as he began to lift his hips up into you.
“You feel so good, baby. Feels so good so deep in me, fuck.”
Javi watched you, awe struck as you continued to ride him, your boobs bouncing with each thrust, and head thrown back in pleasure as you bit down on your bottom lip.
“Jesus, you’re perfect, Hermosa. So tight and wet, so fucking sexy.
There was something about the low rasp of his voice singing your praises that absolutely made you lose your mind. The pace you now found both yourselves moving at was becoming fast and sloppy, so enthralled by each other, you could have cared less about the steering wheel digging into your back. You were filled by his deep, hard strokes, his dick repeatedly filling you and hitting you in a way that made your muscles begin to tense. Your fingers dug into his shoulders as he reached beneath you to rub your clit. The tension spread through your body, your orgasm making you scream in delight. The pulsing of your pussy squeezed around Javi’s cock, practically sending him over the edge with you.
“Javi, holy fuck. I want you to come, baby. I want you to come inside me. It’s all yours.
Yours. You were all his. Your words sent him over the edge, knowing that he was the only one you wanted to be with. The only one to please you. The only one to make his mark inside of you. Only a few strokes more and Javi hit his high, letting out a low whimper as he felt himself release inside your warm, tight walls. His dick pulsed as his seed spilled into, leaving you two slumped into each other, breathless. A few moments after you both came to, you finally felt the wet spot you had left over Javi’s jeans, a mix of the two of you staining the denim.
“Fuck, Javi, I’m sorry, I fucking ruined your jeans.”
“They’re just jeans, Osita. Besides, it was fucking hot.”
You could see the dark pools of his eyes growing darker with lust as he reached down to the inside of your thigh, dripping with the combination of your release.
“Will you keep me inside you, baby? Keep you inside me so you know that you’re mine even when I have to leave?”
“Fuck, yes.”
Fuck. His request filled you with joy and hurt at the same time. You were his. Fucking his. At the same time, the thought of having come back to reality after the fantasy you had been living in the past 24 hours stung.
“I don’t want you to have to leave.” Shit, was that too needy? He had just spent the whole day with you. The little voice in the back of your head screamed at you again. Don’t get too ahead of yourself.
“I don’t want to have to leave either, Osita. I’m not going yet, I’ll hang out as long as I can. Would be a lot easier if we didn’t have to go to work tomorrow.”
“Okay.” Phew. “I don’t mean to ruin this super sweet and sexy moment, but do you think you can take your dick out of me so my groceries don’t go bad?”
You both laughed, Javi complying to your request as you shuffled off of his lap into the passenger seat, shimmying your clothes back on. He scooted his jeans back over him, tucking himself back in before doing up his belt buckle.
The trip back to your apartment was embarrassingly short, given that you couldn’t have made it approximately 4 more minutes before arriving back. Javi helped you gather your things, making fun of the thought of you trying to carry all your grocery bags up in one trip, you convincing him that you really could do it, if it was a smaller trip. Javi was very impressed with your organization as you put everything away in its exact spot, making unloading the groceries much quicker than expected. After you had finished, you looked back at Javi leaning against the counter.
“Javi, that stain on your jeans looks like you peed yourself, I feel really bad. Do you want me to wash them for you? I don't want you to have to carry evidence from the scene of the crime back home with you. I have laundry I have to do anyway, it’s no big deal at all.”
“That would probably be a good idea. Are you trying to get me to stay longer by holding my pants hostage in the wash?” You outstretched your hand.
“Guilty, your honor. Pants me, Peña.”
Another reason you had chosen your apartment was the in unit washer and dryer. The pain of having to haul your laundry from your 11th floor Chicago apartment down to a basement that looked like it was straight out of a horror movie was one of your least favorite chores, so having the ability to clean your clothes from the comfort of your room was a plus.
Javi undid his belt and slid both his pants and underwear down to the floor, leaving his bottom half very blatantly naked.
“Oh shit, I forgot you didn’t have any other pants.”
“Also part of your plan?”
“Surprisingly, no. Oh, I actually think I have a pair of my brother’s shorts that accidentally got packed away with my stuff when I moved!”
“I don’t mind.”
“Don’t mind oing full Winnie the Pooh until your pants are clean? Javi, believe me, I am not mad about this.” you gestured to his crotch. “The problem is, if your dick keeps staring at me like that, I will literally get nothing done the rest of the day, and I have to at least try a LITTLE bit to be productive.”
“Fair enough.” He waited as you shuffled through your drawers to find an old pair of gray cotton shorts, bringing them out and tossing them to him as you grabbed your hamper, made your way to the laundry room, and filled up your washer with your dirty clothes and Javi’s pants. After you had started up the wash cycle, you made your way back to the kitchen, where Javi was still standing, now covered by the shorts you had given him.
“God dammit, Javi.”
“What?” His face surprised as you came back into the kitchen.
“I think the shorts are making it worse.”
“What worse?”
“You might as well be naked, cause I can see… Well let’s just say that there’s very little left to the imagination and I will be using every ounce of willpower to keep myself from crawling all over you. Do you realize how hot you are? It’s truly not fair. Okay, let me just stare at you for one more second and then I can move on.” You crossed your arms as you looked Javi up and down while he chuckled to himself.
“You good?” He laughed.
“Good now.” You giggled, taking one more long look.
“What else do you want to get done tonight?”
“Well normally on Sunday I do laundry and just get ready for the week, make food, stuff like that. It makes it so much better, one, having you here, even though you’re making the getting things done part more challenging, and two because it’s finally the last week of school and the last time I have to do this again until August.”
“When’s your last day of school?”
“Thursday. Only 4 more days, even though it feels like it's going to be 154.”
“Are you doing anything on Thursday?”
“Besides collapsing into a pile from the relief that the school year is done, no. Why?”
“Can I take you out to celebrate your last day of school?”
You blushed. It shocked you how genuinely thoughtful Javi was. Or maybe, you had grown to accept your significant others not having any interest in you at all. There was one summer where it was the middle of July and Paul had asked you why you hadn’t been going into work, like he had literally forgotten what you did for a living, let alone take you out to celebrate it.
“Are you asking me on a date, Javi?” You teased, playfully.
He blushed too. “Yeah, if that’s okay.”
“Of course it is. That’s really sweet of you. What do you have in mind?”
“I was thinking about dinner and a movie? Since you seem to enjoy giving me such a hard time about the lack of movies I’m caught up on.”
“I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate.” You leaned into him wrapping your arms around his neck and standing on your tiptoes to kiss him. “I really want to see you before, but the end of the school year is absolutely insane, and there’s school events every night this week.”
“It’s okay, I remember how stressed my mom would be at the end of the year. The last week of school, my mom would tell me and my dad “Por favor. No me hables hasta los niños estan libres.”
“What does that mean?”
“Please don’t talk to me until the children are free.”
“Your mom hit the nail on the head with that one. Well I’m really excited for Thursday, thanks Javi.”
“Me too, Osita.”
You stared at each other for a moment in silence, taking the other in. Javi’s hand released itself from your waist to brush away hair from your face before cupping the side of your jaw to kiss you. Your heart sped up anytime Javi’s lips met yours, but there was something about this kiss that felt different. It was sweet. Tender. Gentle. The kind of kiss that screamed I’m so lucky you’re mine without saying a word. A kiss you hoped you’d never had to live without.
“I like you a lot, Javi.”
“I like you a lot too, Osita.”
“Sooooo, I have at least another hour and a half of keeping your pants hostage, and we clearly need to get you up to speed on your movie knowledge before Thursday, do you want to pick something out to watch?”
“Didn’t you say you had things you wanted to get done?” He raised an eyebrow at you.
“Yeah, well, those can be tomorrow's problems. Go pick out a movie you haven’t seen yet and now that I have real food, I’ll go get some snacks for us while we watch!”
“Sounds like a great plan.” He kissed the top of your head as you parted ways. You went to the kitchen to microwave a bag of popcorn while Javi spent a long time very intently staring at the VHS collection below your TV. You returned with a big bowl filled to the brim, curious to see what Javi’s pick would end up being. “Alright, I’m excited to see what we get to watch tonight!” You set the bowls down on the table at the end of your couch, unfolding one of the fluffy blankets you had draped over the end.
“I have a feeling you’re gonna be happy we’re watching it, but not happy about the fact I picked it.” He took the VHS from behind his back and placed it on your lap.
“NO. JAVI. YOU’VE NEVER SEEN STAR WARS?!”
“No…”
“SERIOUSLY?”
“Technically I did see it once when I was in high school but I don’t remember anything about it because I took a girl on a date to go see it and we just sat in the back of the theater and made out the whole time.”
“Romantic. Hate to break it to you, that will not be happening tonight if we’re watching this.” You patted the seat next to you on the couch, ushering him to go sit down as you pushed in the tape and pressed play. “I know I said Indiana Jones was my favorite movie but I actually think I lied. It’s 100% Star Wars.”
Without hesitation, you curled up next to Javi resting your head into his shoulder, his arm wrapping around you and pulling you in closer as the theme music for the opening credits began blaring through your speakers. As the movie started, you could tell Javi was trying his hardest to watch intently, asking the occasional question to make sure he understood what was happening.
“Why do the tiny people in the robes have no faces and yellow eyes? Are they supposed to be bad guys? They’re not very scary.”
“They’re Jawwas, Javi. They’re little sand creatures that collect scrap parts and sell them. They’re not really good or bad, they just kind of hang out on Tatooine.”
“Jesus, you’re a bigger nerd than I thought.”
“Just shhhh and watch the movie.” You lovingly gave Javi a shove as he snickered.
As the movie continued, the two of you found yourselves sinking further and further into the couch, Javi now laying flat on his back, head propped against the pillows, and you on top of him, head propped on his chest. One of his arms rested on top of your back, tracing back and forth along your shoulders, the other demolishing handfuls of popcorn from the bowl he had found next to him. Javi definitely didn’t strike you as someone who would be much of a cuddler, but in the short time you had spent with him, you quickly realized this man wanted to be touching you in some way, shape or form at all times. He may have looked tough, but this man was a big ole softie. Right around the point where Luke, Han and Chewie were making their way to break Princess Leia out of her cell, you pushed yourself up off of Javi with a quick kiss.
“Hey wait, where are you going? It’s getting really good!” He grabbed your hand, almost pleading with his puppy dog eyes for you to stay on the couch with him.
“I just have to go change the laundry to the dryer really quick, unless you wanna go home in wet denim. Also apparently get more popcorn “Mr. No I’m not that hungry, I don’t want any”. I’ll be right back, promise.”
You gave him a quick kiss as you got up, threw another bag of popcorn in the microwave and moved your clothes to the dryer. Shaking the hot popcorn bag and refilling your bowl, you climbed back on top of Javi, nestling yourself comfortably against his broad frame. You were relieved that Javi was genuinely into the movie, making comments and remarks after big action scenes, popcorn making a constant path from the bowl to his mouth. He was like a 12 year old boy trapped in a grown man’s body. It made you wonder how many other people had gotten to see this side of Javi before. It was no secret to you that whatever past he carried weighed on him heavily. His mom, Lorraine, Colombia. Even though you didn’t know the whole story, it made you hopeful to think you could be part of a new chapter that brought him a little more joy than he had before.
As the ending scene credits rolled, you leaned your head up to him. “Soooooo… what’d ya think? Better than a high school make out session in a dark movie theater?”
“There’s other ones right? Can we watch more of them? Osita, I can see why you like this so much. There’s some stuff in it that’s fuckin’ weird, but I guess it’s space, but it was really good.”
“Absolutely we can. I do hope you know, the more we watch, the nerdier I will get.”
As the VHS ended and a silence filled the room, you realized the dryer was finished and had stopped running, and the monotonous tick of the clock behind your TV read 9:17 PM. You couldn’t bring yourself to ask Javi to leave. How could you? But your lack of accomplished to-do’s and the looming screams of 8 and 9 year olds at 7:30 tomorrow morning already had you feeling the impending headache already building behind your eyes. The huff of disappointment you let out of you was much louder than you had hoped, and Javi knew exactly why.
“I don’t want to go either, Osita. But tomorrow is gonna kick both of our asses if I don’t leave.”
“Yeah, I know…” your lip let out a pout.
“Thursday will come fast, I promise. Even if I can’t see you, I’ll call you and we can at least talk on the phone if you’re up for it.”
“Fine. I will release you and your jeans from my custody. Let me go grab them for you.”
Hopping off the couch, you threw your clean clothes back into your hamper to be sorted later, pulling out Javi’s jeans and boxers to give back to him.
Bringing the pair back to the couch, you found Javi leaning against the back of your couch, waiting for you to return.
“Just so you know, in this apartment, there is a 3 kiss minimum to obtain any clothing items belonging to your bottom half.” You pressed into him, dangling the pants and underwear in your outstretched arm.
“What happens if I give you more than 3?”
“You can use them as a down payment towards your next set of pants you need to get back from me.”
“God, you’re such a dork.”
“Kiss me or lose the pants, Peña. Choice is yours.”
You shrieked and dropped the jeans as Javi suddenly wrapped his arms underneath you and lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist.
“One…” He leaned in to peck your lips in between your giggles.
“Two…” Another kiss landed on your mouth, a little longer than the last.
“Three.” A final slow and sweet set of lips grazed across yours, his mustache tickling you as he pulled away and set you gently back on your feet.
“Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
Javi laughed as he reached down for his clothes, shuffling the gray shorts down his legs, and exchanging them for his boxers and jeans. “Could be worse.” As he finished running his belt through the jean’s loopholes, you went to your fridge to rip a fresh piece of paper from your grocery list, and began scribbling.
“For you.” You reached out your arm, handing Javi a note with your phone number and a smiley face and a cute doodle of a bear.
“Thanks, Osita.” You found yourself both begrudgingly making your way to the front door, as Javi slipped on his shoes and grabbed his keys, finally admitting defeat that the weekend had to come to an end.
“Will you call me when you get home so I know you made it back safe?”
“Of course.” He reached down to cup your face, your lips meeting one last time, savoring every sweet second before he pulled away to run a hand through your hair and kiss the top of your head. “I’ll pick you up on Thursday, okay?”
“Okay.”
He reached down for the doorknob, slowly twisting it and opening the door, revealing the empty hallway he was about to walk down. “I’ll see you soon, Osita.”
“Not soon enough. See you on Thursday, Javi.”
He gave your outstretched hand one more squeeze before finally letting go, the door quietly clicking as it shut behind him.
In that moment, there was one thing you knew for certain. You had it bad for Javier Peña.
Finally coming down from your lovestruck high, you looked around your apartment to realize you had done very few things on your list to get ready for tomorrow. Mentally prioritizing, you cleaned up your living room, laid out your clothes, and changed your sheets, making a note that if you were going to keep seeing Javi like this, there needed to be more in the rotation. Once you finished, you brought your laundry out to the living room, turning on the TV and folding, waiting for Javi to call.
Little did you know, Javi spent the entire rest of his ride home imagining you by his side, as listened to the rest of the Grease soundtrack.
As he pulled into the ranch and made his way into the house, he had never been more relieved to find his dad passed out in his armchair with the TV blasting, thankful to avoid questionings about his whereabouts- at least for now.
Quietly making his way to his room and closing the door, he took the cell phone out of his back pocket, along with your note, and pressed his fingers into each number.
You barely let one ring go by before dropping the laundry that was in your hands and springing towards the phone.
“Hi, Javi.”
“How’d you know it was me?”
“Not many people are calling me at 9:45 at night just to chat. You make it home okay?”
“Yeah, I did. I’ll let you get to bed, but I just wanted to let you know I had a lot of fun this weekend. I’m uh, I’m really glad that you like spending time with me.”
“I am too, Javi. I haven’t had this much fun in a really long time.”
“I’ll call you later this week and we can talk details for Thursday?”
“Sounds like a plan to me.”
“Okay. Duerme bien y dolces sueños, Osita.”
Something about his voice in Spanish practically melted your heart. “Something about good and sweet?” You tried to translate.
“Sleep well and sweet dreams.”
“Well in that case, duerme bien y dolces sueños a ti tambien, Javi.”
“Bye, Osita.”
“Bye.”
After hearing the click on the end of your line, you hung your phone back on the receiver, putting your hands in your face and letting out a little scream to yourself. Yeah, you had it REAL bad for Javier Peña.
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal character fanfic#narcos#narcos fanfiction#narcos fic#javier peña x f!reader#javier pena#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena fic#javier pena fluff#javier pena imagine#javier pena narcos#javier pena smut#javier pena x reader#javier pena x you#javier peña#javier peña x female reader#javier peña x reader#javier peña x you#javier pena x f!reader#narcos fanfic#javier pena headcanon#javier pena x ofc#javier pena x female reader#javier peña fanfiction#javier peña fluff#javier peña x ofc#javier peña smut#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fanfiction
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ok now that i've had a day to get my panicky moping out of the way. here's whats going on with stellina (writing down for my own reference but also bc i am a chronic pet over-sharer):
yesterday morning when i got out of bed she came out of her crate and was walking on 3 legs, completely non weight bearing on her right rear. i thought maybe her foot had just fallen asleep but when it didn't improve after a few minutes i got very concerned. i did a quick check and she seemed resistant to me bending that knee but otherwise didn't show any discomfort.
and here's the thing about stellina - i love her so much, but she is kind of a pussy. she has a very low tolerance for stress or pain - at the first sign of discomfort, she will go tuck herself into her crate and stay there. she is NOT stoic. when she fucked up her tendon as a puppy, she yelped and went into her crate and didn't leave for a week. but knowing this... she was acting completely normal, even while on 3 legs. tail wagging, alert, calm, totally at ease. which told me that while clearly her leg was not right, she was also not in pain or distress.
after a few minutes she had progressed to toe-touching lame instead of fully holding it up, so i was able to coax her down the stairs and then into the yard. after another minute she was limping, but bearing weight. again, acting normal: sniffing around, went potty, even played with kep. i took them both for a short leash walk and by the end of it she had pottied, scent marked, sniffed, etc totally normal, and only had a very slight limp by this point. cool, crisis averted!
i let them back inside and she went and layed down for a few minutes while i got their food ready. but when i called them over to come eat, she was non-weight bearing again. and again, same pattern: it would gradually improve after a few minutes of exercise, but sitting/laying down for any period of time would make it stiffen right back up.
i ended up taking her to my work's urgent care office to get looked at. the vet did a manipulation test of her knee and said that she noticed two things. first, that her patella (knee) was very slightly loose (patella laxity is graded on a 0-4 scale, with 0 being normal not-moving knees, and 4 being "this dog's kneecap has left the building." vet said stellina's was like a 0.5 - very slightly loose). second, she was able to slightly move her leg sideways in a way that you shouldn't be able to if your CCL (ACL in ppl - the ligament that keeps your knee vertically aligned basically) is intact. so her suspicion was that stellina's right CCL has a partial tear, likely due to the slight movement in her patellas slowly increasing friction on the CCL.
she also tested her left leg and said while that patella is also very, very slightly loose, there's no sign of CCL damage on that leg yet. however about 60% of dogs who injure on CCL also injure the other within a few years.
she sent her home on some NSAIDs and requested a consult with the surgery department. the good news is that after a single dose of the meds, stellina is acting like 95% better - still has some resistance if i bend her knee, but is walking without lameness and still acting very normal.
so right now, we're waiting for a consult with the surgeon so she can do an exam and either confirm the first vet's findings, find something else, and talk about options for treatment.
unfortunately once a CCL has been damaged, it can't repair itself. so assuming the surgeon agrees that there's CCL damage, it leaves us with the following options:
use NSAIDs, physical therapy, and restricted exercise for several weeks. hopefully this will let the tissue around the knee scar up/thicken enough that it creates a bit more stability in the knee. it doesn't fix the tear, and the CCL is still at risk of tearing more/rupturing in the future, but it may buy some more time - just impossible to say if that will be a month or two, or years.
go in and surgically repair the CCL before it has a chance to worsen or rupture. this is done with a TPLO surgery where they cut part of the leg bones and add a metal implant to stabilize. it's a very common surgery with a very high success rate, but it is expensive (at least $4-5k per knee) and has a long recovery period (6-8 weeks restricted exercise + 2-4 months rehab and building up muscle).
i'm trying not to get too ahead of myself on either option until we talk to the surgeon for their opinion first. on one hand, i don't want to put my dog through surgery, especially one with such a long recovery period - we've already done that when she fucked up her achilles, and it sucked. i hate the idea of signing her up for months of crate confinement and discomfort for an elective procedure. but on the other hand - if the CCL is torn, it's not going to fix itself. it seems stupid to just sit around and wait for it to rupture and become an emergency, especially if there's a chance that the other leg might go as well. if we do the surgery within the next month, she'd already be halfway through recovery by christmas time.
so yeah, that's where we are currently. hopefully we can talk with the surgeon this week and get a better idea of the options, and make a plan. i want to do whatever is in stellina's best interest, whatever that ends up being.
#long post#feel free to skip this like i said its mostly for my own reference and typing everything out helps me cope
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ALso i just said id died for ur wastelands au but I ALSO HAVE QUESTIONS! mainly abt Al. actually all abt al lol
so u explained that it was a blood problem n they had to cut off most of the infected parts (WHICH SOUNDS SO PAINFUL I FEEL TERRIBLE FOR HIM I WISH I COULD GIVE HIM A KITH) so how does his internal organ system work? does he still have his organs? if so, how do the digestive and excretory systems work? (HOW DOES MY BOY USE THE BATHROOM??) does he feel phantom pain? can he bathe or function as a normal being? what can or cannot he do?
honestly just go into more detail if you can bcuz this is brilliant so keep up the good work and i love yu al is so so handsome even w machinery being 85% of him i luv yu (not all questions must be answered. no pressure at all. u don't even have to reply if u don't want to. jus answer what u can!! : 3)
O7 i will try my best !! to be coherent !!!!!!! im word dumping. i love thinkin about this al.
LOTS OF BODY/ORGAN TALK !!!!!!
EHHHH so. one of my ideas was that al lost 100% of his arm and legs but a good portion of his torso was still...... there? i guess? and that the automail torso functions more as a shell to both to help operate the limbs and protect everything that was left. I thought of it like this so that he he could retain all of his organs. but also this leads to the imagery that Al is literally a nugget once you remove the automail parts (EXPLODES MYSELF) so i have ignored it bc i didn't like that !!
The main reason i thought of it like that was because it's never mentioned in the manga/anime whether or not theres automail organs and I'd imagine there isn't such a thing, so i wasn't sure whether or not to make the jump myself and give al automail lungs/intestines/stomach/etc. because that makes automail HELLUVA lot more crazy. the absolute magnitude of shit that winry and pinako would have to be able to do to keep al ALIVE would be fucking insane??
Idk if i mentioned it somewhere but i also thought of al particularly losing more and more of his body over time. Like. maybe the legs/arm were gone from the word go, but it would slowly keep leaching further and further up his torso or even down his neck to his chest since they either couldn't cut it all out. hence them being able to keep progressively working on Al's torso and creating/replacing the organs as he both grows older and decays. i primarily went with this because if Al lost all of that body mass right from the initial accident, he literally would not be able to survive. they would not be able to make automail organs fast enough.
it's something i need to do more research on bc currently I'm just word dumping onto this ask and am not looking at anything but! what IS the limit of organs someone can have as mechanical replacements? like there's artificial lungs and hearts in modern medical practice, but would having both put too much stress on the brain?? what is the neurological impact of that??? the amount of shit that al would need replaced would be insane. how the fuck would the brain comprehend that.
i didn't even think about it until just now tbh but i wanna know any opinions on if Al should have a bionic eye...? this would of course mean more facial automail which i'm nooot against? idk........
he very much feels phantom pain!!!!! he is in pain 95% of the time!! i think i mentioned the idea of al having to take sooome kind of pain-reliever to even be able to deal with day-to-day life, but with that train of thought i was worried i would toe into addiction issues coming up (bc. i mean. either he's in cataclysmic pain or he's not. i wouldn't blame him for not wanting to feel like a giant fucking bleeding wound) and i wasn't sure if that is a subject i want to tackle/am confident i could tackle and do justice with.
anyways. yea! i never thought about whether or not he had to use the bathroom honestly lol. i knew that i wanted him to still not be able to eat. which BLOWS he gets to be human (????? are u still human if you're 85% metal??????) but my guy can't have fucking pie??? such bullshit. i'll haveta think about how he gets energy though bc of the lack of food intake. (lol what if hes solar powered . KIDDING)
he bathes! he frequently has to oil the automail. he hilariously still has to brush his teeth. he still sweats on the skin he has left (WATER CONSUMPTION..... adds this to my to do list). being in the heat fucking sucks because that shit's just metal on skin babey ! so he's in more pain. thumbs up. can this guy get a fucking break
#anyways kisses you sweetly under the moonlight#askbox#long post#i would have drawn visuals for this post but idk what to draw. I'm not drawing the alphonse nugget it fucking haunts me in my dreams#the bionic eye is so tacked on too i feel like a drawing of it would be abrupt . also i need to research that shite more#I FUCKING FORGOT TO TAG#body horror
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through the hourglass 105. brb x oc
a/n: I pulled stuff out of my ass to write this but......i liked it.
pairing: plus size!oc x rooster
warnings: none.
brad: :(
bea: * exists *
brad: :)
goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)
chapter
1/
50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64/65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84/85/86/87/88
/89/90/91/92/93/94/95/96/97/98/99/100/101/102/103/104
(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )
taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix
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@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2
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-
She’s still petting him once they are both lying on the bed, his head on her chest and his arms around her waist as the silence takes over. She dared a look towards him and frowns at how red and splotchy his face is, rubbing the pad of her thumb against his cheekbone comfortingly.
His breathing still hiccuped from time to time, but he was quieter now, just keeping his eyes closed and breathing in her scent, still partially clad with his uniform. Thankfully Nicole didn’t hear them, because if she did Beatrice was sure she’d end up crying herself, a quick look to the monitor showed that she was still asleep.
Beatrice sighed, still caressing his head, scratching an area in the shaved part that makes him relax even more. She didn’t want to speak yet, she wanted to give him enough time to break down everything that happened that day.
She knew he was nervous but she couldn’t understand what exactly happened.
It’s not until he moves a bit, pushing himself higher against her chest that she waits for him to speak, but his quiet groan only makes her frown more, “Do…” she hesitates, licking her lips, “Do you want me to get you some water,Roos?” a negative shake against her chest, “Do you need anything?”
“...you.”
“Huh?”
“I need you.” he whispers, his deep voice sounding frail and broken from crying so much, “I need you with me…please don’t leave.”
Beatrice’s body jolts in actual pain over those words, clenching her eyes to hold back the tears as she hugs him closer to her chest, kissing his head, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m with you,Roos…all the way.” he just relaxes in her hold, breathing evenly but not sleeping, undoubtedly he was trying to calm himself down the best he could. “Look at me?”
He takes a while to comply, but once he does his eyes are puffy and red, still glazed over with unshed tears and his nose is as bright crimson as paint. Beatrice smiles sweetly, brushing her thumb over his eyes, leaning close to kiss them - his lashes tickle her lips when she does so - before pulling back, “I look like shit, don’t I?”
She smiles fondly, still caressing him, “I just see my handsome husband, I don’t see anything bad with him.”
“Bea.”
“Crying is normal Brad.” she whispers, knowing exactly where he was going with this conversation, “Especially when you are so sad…and it hurts me to see you like this, but I know you needed to. You were holding so much in,baby…” another brush against his eyes, “So much…you can tell me when you feel comfortable,okay?”
He wasn’t going to wait long, he tells her that, he just needs a few seconds to recompose himself and then he could blurt everything out. Bradley just holds onto her, like a lifeline,like she’s the one thing bringing him close to the surface in the vast ocean that was his thoughts.
And she just didn’t move, she let him use her as his personal pillow, like she was the softest thing he had ever touched and didn’t want to let go. She waited more, she wanted him to open up when he felt ready, kissing the top of his head and keeping her lips there.
His next sigh was lighter, but still pained, “I’m okay.”
“You sure?”
“No.” he chuckled dryly, “But I can’t keep this shit in much longer,I’m going to explode.”
Beatrice frowned, adjusting herself on the bed a bit so she could look at him better, his head still on her chest, his arms still locked around her waist and she knew he didn’t want to meet her eyes when he began, “Okay…whenever you are ready,Roos.”
Another dry laugh, more like a ‘hmpf’ through his nose but he squared his shoulders and licked his lips, “Alright…so.” he keeps his mouth open without speaking for a bit, as if preparing himself because he couldn’t figure what was going on “...okay, so…” he stalls again, his jaw tight, “I…I don’t know if I can–”
“You don’t have to tell me now,Roos.”
“I want to.” he says, firm,”I need to.I..need to.”
“Okay…”
And he inhales again, deeper this time, his chest expanding and pressing against her side even more, “Mav told me…things, things about me.” she blinked at him, still caressing his hair, “I asked him how long he and my mother planned on doing that, on pulling my papers. He told me to sit down after closing the door and I knew I knew I was going to hate whatever it was he was going to say.”
His shoulders bunched up with nerves so Beatrice gently caressed the one closest to her while kissing his head, “He told me it was always talked about, that my mom always asked him if there was anything he could do to prevent me from…getting it.” he groans, “And Mav…he said he always voiced how that wouldn’t be fair for me, because I had the right to choose whatever I wanted to do in life. But he also felt…bad because of my dad, he– he blamed himself a lot because of it, for years.”
Rooster’s brows knitted in the center of his forehead, “I asked him how it was possible for me to just…not join when my father was KIA and he was a Naval pilot as well. And Mav said…there were just things he couldn’t elaborate really, because it involved something more. And I asked what it was and he still refused to tell me.”
“Do you have any idea why?”
“It might involve some higher up or power pulling and maybe he was nervous about telling me when we were so close to others.” he mumbles, “But I just…I couldn’t–why? Just why? I had my arguments with my mom,I did have them and I understood why she was scared but–”
But it wasn’t fair. That’s what he wanted to say.
He was conflicted and confused, it was something he never thought about until now, and now he just wanted this to stop. He was angry and he was hurt and he was just…standing on the precipice, barely clinging to the edge.
"Why did they do this to me?" he sounds so angry and upset that Beatrice just allows him to grit out the words, heavy like concrete. "The only thing, the one thing I could have control over was taken from me...and I am hurt. I'm so fuckin' hurt."
“I know…”
“And why? For what? My mom knew I wanted this, but I–” another groan, heavier, filled with confusion and angst that Beatrice could barely hold back her own tears once she heard him speak. Rooster was a strong man, mentally and physically, most of the time he could handle things thrown at him, he could, he would, he should.
But now he felt so small and frail,like he was a little boy again.
“I know Roos…” she hushes him, kissing the top of his head as he drops to her chest one more time, “You aren’t wrong for feeling this way, you know that.”
“I know–I achieved so much Bea…why am I hurting? I managed to do everything I’ve wanted professionally, I–”
Beatrice cups his cheeks, stopping the rambling and she sits up a bit to meet his eyes, “Baby…” she smiles sweetly, gently brushing his face, “You are a good man, you have a good heart and yeah, you achieved so much even with everything thrown your way…but you are human and you have the right to be hurt.”
“I don’t want to hate her,Bea.” he tears up again, his lower lip trembling with the weight of his confession, “I don’t want to hate my mom.”
“Roos…your mother loved you. So much, she did. And she thought that what she and Mav did was the best option for you, but it wasn’t. It…wasn’t right, at all. Things like that,I told you this before, she couldn’t have control over your choices after a while…what happened is terrible and you…can admit that your mother messed up. That Pete messed up, even if he partially didn’t want to hurt you like that.”
Rooster sighed painfully, dropping his head to her neck and she feels the hot tears sliding down her collarbones, “You don’t hate your mother.” she whispers, kissing his temple, “You hate what she did. You hate that she took over something like that, even if to her it made total sense.”
He inhales shakily,so she continues, “You are such a lovely person,Rooster. You grew up with a loving mother who, like all moms, messed up. She did mess up and it’s okay to admit that. Does that mean she’s evil? No.” she says softly once his eyes turn to hers, “It means she was…mistaken, maybe consumed with grief…the fact she didn’t show you how much she was hurting, didn’t mean she wasn’t.”
He frowns, sniffling a bit, keeping his cheek on her chest, closing his eyes when her hands brush through the sandy colored strands, “She thought it was the best for you. But it wasn’t, she probably thought she was doing the right thing, but it wasn’t…she made a mistake and it’s hurting you. She’d never want to hurt you like that. She loved you so much.”
“I loved her too.”
“And now, well, now you are a Lieutenant. You rose up the ranks smoothly, even with that huge obstacle in your life.” she says softly, kissing his scalp, “You can feel hurt, you can feel betrayed Roos. It’s okay, God, it’s so okay. We all get upset with our parents…we always do. Just because you aren’t a child doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”
Rooster’s breathing relaxes a bit as she talks, his eyes closing, he could only hear her soft voice calming him down. Only Beatrice could translate feelings into words so easily, she was so open and so genuine with everything she did that he could only listen to her, like she was the soft wind hitting his ear, calming him down.
“...how are you feeling now?”
“Like trash.” he mutters, “Like I want to sleep for twelve hours and call in sick for work.”
“...can you do that?”
“No.”
The silence lasts a few seconds, before the weakest chuckle comes out of him, with Beatrice joining in a few seconds later, still holding him against her chest. She inhales his shampoo with a small smile, “At least you are laughing.”
“I think I cried all my tears.” he mutters, ‘My eyes…hurt so much.”
“It’s been a long time since you cried like that,huh?”
“...yeah.” he says with his eyes directed to the wall, “A long time…felt…felt good though.”
Beatrice smiles more, kissing his temple then his forehead, “You are going to be okay. You know that,right?” he hums, hugging her tighter to himself, “Are you hungry? I can make something for you if you don’t feel like getting up. Or we can have dinner on the couch,watch some tv…what do you think?”
Rooster pauses for a second, then slowly lifts his head to meet her eyes, “What are we watching?”
He looked like a little boy with his eyes shining like that, even if the puffiness made it obvious his humor was less than happy,”Peaky Blinders?”
“Second season?” she nods, “Baby you know me too well.”
“I do.” she kisses his head again, “Take a shower, as long as you need,I’ll be waiting for you.”
He slowly sits up to let her go, leaning into her touch when she cups his cheek and smiles,kissing his lips once. He gently holds her hand for a few seconds, it slip out of his hand and his own palm landed on his leg, he offered Beatrice a kind smile when she walked out of the room, “...I know you will.”
-
Rooster walks downstairs after a long, long shower, turning his phone off because he didn’t want to talk to anyone. He felt better, he felt a lot better actually and his anger was…minimal now, he still needed time to talk to Mav and…deal with this.
He stops by the middle of the stairs when he sees Nicole’s little head poking from the edge of the couch, his daughter’s gummy smile immediately lifting his humor, “Oh is that Birdie?” she gurgles, making another head appear next to her - Jolene’s who was there just to protect her so she wouldn’t fall. “Is that my baby girl?”
‘Dada!”
“Oh god,I’ll never tire from hearing that.” he speeds his step to grab Nicole under the armpits, kissing her cheeks over and over before hugging her close to his chest. His eyebrows furrowed as he kept her there, inhaling the cotton flower soap that clung to her small clothes and hair, letting that little presence warm him up from the inside.
His daughter vocalized something, more ‘dada’s’ and then lifted her head to look at his face, gently brushing her hands on his cheeks and furrowing her brows, “What?” he smiles, “What’s it? Why are you staring at me?” Nicole blew a raspberry, giggling at the face Rooster made and squealing when he just lifted her above his head to walk to the couch, “Okay, that’s it missy, spitting? That’s illegal.”
She laughed more, kicking her legs as Jolene leaped out of the couch to trot into the kitchen where Beatrice was, “Illegal!” he playfully spins Nicole in the air and gently sets her on a pillow. Her laughter was so loud and full of joy that everything that happened earlier that day seemed irrelevant, “Again?” he asks while grinning, her little face was so red but he repeats the movement just as carefully as before.
More laughter and he couldn’t help but join in.
“Oh,my God!You are so cute!’ he groans, kissing her face all over, “You are so cute! That’s not fair!”
“Dada!!”
Rooster kisses Nikki’s head as he sits down on the couch, keeping the little girl on top of his stomach as he hears Beatrice’s foot coming from the kitchen, holding two bowls in her hands, “There we go.” she smiles, placing them in the coffee table and gently shooing Jack when he tried to sniff it, “I reheated some of the chilli, I knew you’d like it.”
“Thank you,gorgeous.” he smiles, watching as she walked away before he turned his eyes to the tv, the pale face of Tommy Shelby looked back at him from the screen, “You know, maybe you should sleep when we watch it.” he mutters to Nikki who was too busy ‘kissing’ his sleeve, “Babe! Did Nikki eat yet?”
“She did!Why?”
“She’s nomming on me.”
“Ah, she’s just kissing you. Probably felt that her daddy was upset.”
If she did, he wasn't complaining, grinning down at the little girl and kissing her head, “You are too cute, just like your mama.” he boops her button nose when she looks at him, grinning more when she tried to grab his index finger, “We might need your paci though, so you can enjoy time with us.”
“You know, we can leave it on mute and read the subtitles.” Bea suggests, smiling at the scene of her husband and daughter, “Watch Peaky Blinders after Nicole falls asleep.”
“Hmmm…true.” he smiles, “Maybe we can just watch something lighter, I think I’m feeling like it…maybe All Stars?”
Beatrice grins, sitting down next to the two, “Which one?”
“Trixie Mattel’s one, it’s one of my favorites.” he says, kissing Nicole’s head as she snuggles up to him, seeing his wife quickly choose Rupaul’s Drag Race, the colorful image immediately catching Nicole’s attention and she turns her head to watch what was going on.
Meanwhile,Rooster was watching Bea.
His wife, his best friend, his person. What would he do without her? Probably suffer in self desolation and depression, maybe eat a cheap sandwich while sitting in the dark, maybe pop open an old lemon soda that he forgot he even bought…but no, she was…so magical. He rarely felt safe sharing his past, sharing his problems, yet with Bea he was comfortable, he was so comfortable because she offered actual input and wanted to help him out however she could.
Beatrice must’ve felt his eyes on her, because she turned to face him after setting the remote down, “Hey,” her smile was so sweet, “You feeling better? Really?”
“Really.” he replies, “Thank you,gorgeous.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” Beatrice scoots closer to her favorite people, propping her chin on his shoulder, “I’m glad you are feeling better. At least you’ll have a nice night of sleep,hm?”
“I think so.” his smile falters diminutively, “...I’m still…digesting everything but,I think I’ll be able to talk to Mav again about it, just…not now. Not when I just found out about it.”
“Of course.”
“I don’t want to lose him again.” he whispers, “He’s the only family I have left.”
Beatrice smiles sweetly, grabbing the hand that wasn’t holding Nicole up to interlace their fingers together, “I know. I’m sure he feels the same about you…you guys will be okay. You two will be alright.”
“Yeah…true.”
“Will you…be okay for Marcus’ party next week? We can say no,I can tell him something came up, he’ll understand.”
Of course she would ask that, he thinks with a smile, “Nah,I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay enough,I promise…now, we should show Nicole how cool Drag Race is, don’t you think?” seeing him smile like that was enough to make Beatrice’s heart flip with joy. She nodded, grinning back at him before pressing play on the episode.
#bradley rooster bradshaw#rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x oc#top gun maverick#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw x female reader#bradley bradshaw x named reader#tgm oc#tgm fic#tgm fanfiction
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Jane's Pets Chapter 95: Dehumanization
TWs in the tags
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The last day I was human was just like any other day.
I hunted with my tribe, played with my friends, and went to bed with everyone else when the sun went down. It was a perfectly normal day, until I was woken up by harsh hands yanking me out of bed and covering my mouth to muffle my shouts.
They forced a part of a pelt into my mouth. The taste was awful, but I couldn't spit it out no matter how hard I tried. When I remember the last day I was human, that awful taste is the first thing I think of.
They stuffed my ears with dirt. It was painful, and I could feel things crawling deeper into my ears.
They blindfolded me with another pelt. It made my nose itch.
They tied my hands and feet together. It hurt.
I was moved somewhere and laid on the ground. I felt my hand be cut, and the wound squeezed painfully for minutes on end. And then no one was touching me, and I had no idea what was happening or if they were even still there. I felt my hand heal unnaturally.
It was terrifying, absolutely terrifying, for the first bit. But then it got boring. I don't know how long I was there, all I know is that I was desperate to be anywhere else, and after a long enough time of wishing, I was.
I don't know how long I would've been left there if I didn't figure out how to teleport. I think they planned on me dying. When I told the other members of our tribe what happened, my captors tried to justify their actions by saying something about humanity and magic and balance, something that I wouldn't fully understand until much later. They were forced out of our tribe, and the next time I saw them I was watching their funerals from my void.
And between us, I'm the inhuman one. I'm the one who doesn't get to die. I'm the one who gets punished.
I really, really hate mages.
-~-~
"You know that whole, um… Diogenes, I think was his name… you know that whole Diogenes thing with like- y'know, 'behold, a man'?"
"Um… no." You wish you did, Kitty's obviously having trouble explaining things right now.
"Well, it's like… what even is a human? I used to feel human. Now I don't. And like… how do you even define what a human is? Like, wouldn't any definition have loopholes? Like with Diogenes. And like, other species don't have as clear cut lines as you might think, and things' scientific classifications get changed sometimes, and there's that whole 'human are fish' thing, so why would humanity as a concept be any different? Humanity is just… this idea that gets fuzzy around the edges. Like everything humans try to label."
You have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. "Yeah."
"So like- if I don't feel human, and I don't get treated like a human… I met this girl while I was homeless. She said she didn't identify with humanity as a concept. She said it was some kind of spiritual thing? Thinking back on it… it's kind of cool. I don't think she thought she was any less of like… a person? I don't know what words to use. But I don't think she hated herself. She didn't feel human, and I don't feel human… but I feel so pathetic and she didn't. So maybe… I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to say."
You don't either. Your head hurts. "That's alright. It'll come back to you if it's important."
"It's just… I want to be able to see myself as human. So that's the main difference. I don't know… I don't know if I should try to maintain my dignity, or try to accept that I'm not really human anymore."
"Um… what?"
"She's changed me. So much. I'm never- I'm always going to be her Kitty. But I can't just be good like Puppy can, like you used to be able to- I'm not just Kitty, I'm a bad Kitty." A shudder racks their entire body and they groan. "I hate this, I hate this, even if she stopped drugging me I'd still be hers, I'm never going to be mine again!"
This line of conversation is more familiar. "Hey, breathe. You're okay. You're you."
"You don't even know who I am! You've never met me, you've only met Kitty! You only know this thing she's made me into!"
"Breathe, in for four-"
"Shut up! I can't- I can't do this, fuck, I want out!"
You can't think of anything to say. You're the only one who can help because Puppy can't talk and Kitty can only be comforted through words and you can't think of anything to say, stupid Bunny, stupid stupid Bunny-
–
You think… something's wrong.
Just admitting that to yourself is hard, but what the hell is this bluebeard-ass situation? You can go anywhere except the basement, it's not safe. You're curious, and you can't help thinking something may be wrong here anymore. Maybe Kit is constantly begging you to leave for a reason beyond paranoia. Maybe Jane seemingly having you under constant supervision isn't just meant to keep you safe. Maybe Dollie being so tense all the time, and somehow even more tense when Jane is around, is a red flag.
Well, when you put it like that, it seems obvious. You feel kind of stupid for avoiding thinking about it for so long. You need to go into the basement. What's the worst that could happen? If something is wrong, you'll get Dollie and Kit out of here, and if not, you'll have peace of mind.
–
It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts-
Stupid Bunny.
–
You're in Puppy's arms. When did that happen? Your throat hurts. Kitty is gone. Fingers comb through your hair.
You think back to the last thing you can remember. Oh, was that a flashback? Usually you have at least some awareness of what's going on around you during those, but that was… that sucked. Your heart is pounding and your skin is covered in sweat.
Was it just triggered by… feeling stupid and useless? You feel that way all the time. It's weird that it triggered such a bad flashback. And the subject of the flashback was weird too, at least for causing such an intense reaction. That first punishment is far from the worst thing that's ever happened to you.
You think Kitty would have some interesting thoughts on it, if they could think. They like talking about that psychology stuff, even though most of their psychology knowledge comes from Jane. But they can't think, and they're not here.
You turn so that you can see Puppy's face. "Is Kitty in the basement?"
Puppy nods.
"Being punished?"
Puppy shakes her head. It's just the conditioning thing, then. They'll be back up soon. Maybe you will talk to them about it. As long as you're careful to stop if they seem to be getting frustrated, it'll probably be fine, and they'll need the distraction. Ideally, even while drugged they'll have opinions about it, and they'll get to feel smart for the first time in a while.
You should prioritize that, you think. Helping them feel smart might make them freak out less about being a shell of themself who's unable to think. Anything that might make them feel smart also risks making them feel stupid, so it'll be rough, but you'll try. Soon Jane will be dead, anyway.
Right, you need to be thinking about how to kill Jane! Which means you need to be thinking about how she became immortal. The same way you got your powers…
You still have no clue what that means. Is she implying that she's existed from the beginning of the universe? No, she talks about it like she was mortal once…
…Has magic existed since the beginning of the universe? You thought so, because… because Barron said there's magic in everything, and all of its books suggested magic has always existed.
Fuck, you want to talk about this with Barron more than anything. You miss it so much-
No, you can't follow that thought to its conclusion, that's what leaves you unable to leave you bed for days and you can't afford to do that, so you can't think about Barron.
"Puppy? Did Jane ever tell you… has magic always existed?"
There's a flash of something you can't quite interpret in her eyes, but it quickly disappears. She shrugs.
That's not very helpful. Still, you feel close to figuring it out. The only way what Jane's said makes sense is if magic came into existence at some point. Whatever caused that caused both her immortality and your ability to be a mage, if Jane wasn't lying. Which is a big if, but you don't really have a lot else to go on.
That's progress. Now, instead of figuring out why Jane is immortal, you have to figure out what caused all of magic to exist… It'll be a challenge, but at least you have more direction now. Soon, the three of you will be able to feel human again.
A/N: Let me know if I should tag anything else, or if you want to be added to or removed from the tag list! Two more chapters before the start of season 4 :)
Tag list: @eatyourdamnpears @whump-in-the-closet @scp-1296 @thecosmicmap @quins-whump-stuff
@fuckcapitalismasshole
#whump#whump writing#whumpblr#intimate whumper#creepy whumper#nonhuman whumper#multiple whumpees#pet whump#whumpee#whumper#whump caretaker#2nd person pov#1st person pov#minor whump#drugging mention tw#dehumanisation tw#jane’s pets
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My Somber Afliction
Many people suffer and live with various physical afflictions. They are stronger than what we all realize. Even though they are in pain they try to live their lives as normally as possible. They get up when they don't want to. They wake up for the sake of their loved ones. Some people go through their whole lives being disabled from birth. Many of us become disabled over time.
Even though I have lived with developmental disabilities for most of my life, I was not prepared to become physically disabled by 37 years old. There's a stereotype that this age is too young to have gone through what I have been experiencing. Which in itself is not true. Physical ailments can happen at any age and since the body starts biologically aging and breaking down after 35, it is possible to be young and still go through a debilitating experience.
It all began on one summer day. I love walking through nearby forest paths and live by a recreational park on a river. I decided to try to impress a new friend I had a serious crush on at the time. The problem with this is I am also a big person. Someone who has been obese and morbidly obese all their lives. Extra weight is hard on the body.
I decided to go for a hike with my new friend on these paths and walked about two to three miles. We traveled through dirt paths as well as concrete. The river was calm and the air was crisp and cool for a July afternoon. Birds and wildlife could be heard as well as the rushing waters of the river. It was peaceful. I walked up to the dam and back. It was a total of about 3 miles. I was sore as I pushed my body past its physical capabilities.
The next day my back was in pain. At first, I didn't think much of it. I worked in fast food and am always sore or in mild pain from being on my feet. I took some over-the-counter pain medication and called it a day. Or so I thought.
Throughout the next week, the pain was getting worse. Then after a couple of weeks, my left leg and foot were starting to go numb. It was like I was walking and standing on phantom limbs. I could still feel but it was like my leg was in a permanent sleep.
My friend had gone through this before and one day after about a month of suffering, she took me to the emergency room. She instructed me to tell them I pissed myself saying I would get treatment faster. I didn't want to suffer anymore so I listened to her.
At the Emergency room, I proceeded to tell them that I pissed myself after the end of my work shift. My friend told them she had witnessed it since she was the one to have come to pick me up from work. The hospital ordered an MRI and other tests. It turns out I have a herniated disk pressing on my nerves.
The doctor had called the on-call neurosurgeon and went over the MRI results with him. I was then told I would be rushing into Emergency back surgery the next day to take out part of the disk that was protruding into the nerves.
After surgery recovery went slow. My right leg was super numb after the surgery. There was nerve damage afterward. I had also developed an internal infection at the incision. I had to have a round of strong antibiotics. It cleared up after a week. After 3 months of healing and physical therapy after the surgery, I went back to work.
About a year after my surgery, the disk herniated again, however, this time it was pressing on my sciatic nerves. I could barely walk or function. I couldn't sit without excruciating pain. I couldn't stand for long periods either. I tried to work while in this pain but every shift I ended up only working about an hour with accommodations before the pain was so intense I was crying.
The General Manager sent me home. I decided to take a leave of absence until I could figure out what was going on. The problem is I couldn't return to work within my absence time limit. I got released, or so I assume. At this time I became 95 percent bedridden. I only got up to use the bathroom and even then some days I'd sit on the mighty poop throne and cry from pain.
After an ER visit, they told me to contact my neurosurgeon. I did as such and got a new MRI done at the end of September. As it turns out the disk is herniated on my right side and pressing against the nerves on the base of my spine. Since I was morbidly obese at this time, they didn't want to do surgery. It was too high risk. The Neurosurgeon ordered a pain consultation from a different specialist. They wanted to do physical therapy and try different pain meds. Over time we did find a concoction that started working.
It has been a little over a year since my leave from work and I am still struggling. I am not likely to return to work anytime soon. However, I will say I have improved a lot since last fall when I'd just lay in bed. I am not as bedridden. I can walk for short distances now. I can sit up without pain for 30 minutes, and I can do some light chores.
It's not where I want to be but progress is progress. This is all due to physical therapy and nerve pain meds. With accommodations, such as a pillow, I can sit in restaurants and socialize. I can walk through a store for about 10 or 20 minutes depending on if I am having a good pain day or a bad pain day. Also, the sciatic pain that traveled from my lower back down to my foot, has lessoned and may be completely gone. However, I won't risk it.
So even though the pain has gotten better, the numbness on my right side hasn't. Sometimes it gets worse and then better and then worse. This cycle repeats. The numbness makes me a fall risk. I already have spatial awareness issues due to other disorders and the numbness makes it worse. I feel unsteady on my feet half the time. I also walk with a limp because somehow this has affected my hip and the range of motion of my leg. This itself makes going back to a physically demanding job harder. Due to this, I am not going to be able to return to the fast food or retail industry.
Throughout my life, I have on and off lived through traumatic experiences. I will say experiencing the level of pain I had was very terrifying. It took a toll on my mental health. One of the core principles I had was that I was never going to be like my mother.
I grew up with a disabled mother. She has similar back issues as I do, if not worse. She has severe scoliosis, three herniated disks, and had a neck fusion done in the 80's due to a car accident she had. She is always in pain. I saw her struggle but didn't completely understand it. She also felt deep shame that she had a hard time expressing. Her shame was put onto us kids. There were times when she treated us horribly because of her physical, emotional, and mental anguish. It was hard to live with and I didn't want her physical ailments making me as bitter as her. My mental health took a turn for the worse because it triggered some trauma over my mother's disabilities.
At one point I said I would rather die than live with this pain every day. There is a high rate of suicide among people with disabilities. It is also not just about pain. It is also socioeconomic. People with disabilities who can't work live in poverty. I bet most who can't get assistance end up homeless. I applied for SSDI and there are so many things wrong with the system. There is a vast amount of discrimination against people with disabilities and it makes me fear for the future. I had to challenge my own internalized ableism and let go of old thinking patterns about being disabled. I understand now why suicide rates are high.
Before I became disabled I was already seeing a therapist for trauma, and a psyche nurse for anxiety attacks. Due to my increasing suicidal Ideation, They upped my dose of antidepressants. It helped and over time my mental health also became stable. I still have bad days where I just feel sad and depressed over my situation, but they are fewer than before.
I went from walking and hiking trails in a park to being bedridden. I was grieving a part of me I felt I had lost. Who am I as a disabled person? What does this mean for my life? I learned that I had taken so many things for granted. Walking, spending time with my daughter, busing around downtown, and being active. Being pain-free (physically) is a privilege. For the first time, I felt what true gratitude felt like.
Sciatic pain is the worst pain I have ever experienced. It is even worse than childbirth pain in my opinion, and I am someone who went 24 hours without any pain meds while giving birth to my daughter. I thought birth pain was the worst at the time. The universe said, "Challenge accepted."
My somber Affliction has taught me about a hidden world of sorts. Instead of a magical paradise, life is more like the dark side of Star Wars. However, I still hold out hope that this crisis will change for the better.
#mental health#disability#disabled witch#disabilties#my story#disabled#my struggle#struggle#depressing shit#tw depressing stuff#back pain#Herniated disk#herniated disc#depresssion#fyp#physically disabled#disability awareness#chronic pain#spoonie#spoonie witch#spoonie life#healing
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you never miss about chuuaku can we hear more thoughts about them from you pretty please
Aawwwwww, thank you!!! Here's even more chuuaku thoughts. This is how their relationship would play out in my opinion:
Akutagawa joins the pm, picked up by Dazai. When he joins the pm, Chuuya is... Vaguely sympathetic for him, but not to a particularly great extent really. He's a traumatized kid from the slums, but that doesn't make him any different to like 95% of the other people Chuuya has met in the pm. Chuuya barely spares a thought for him beyond remarking how he's been twice unlucky to be recluted by Dazai of all people. He probably stops a second to wonder whether there was a meaning to Dazai choosing him - because nothing happens by chance with Dazai -, but doesn't waste too much thinking over it because it's useless to try and understand what goes through Dazai's twisted mind anyways. At this point Akutagawa just joined, and is probably not even aware of Chuuya's existence yet.
Akutagawa spends time in the pm under Dazai's training. Chuuya has slowly grown a subtle disliking for him– nothing like outright animosity, but he's annoyed, on one hand, by Akutagawa's ruthless and chaos-ridden way of executing missions, on the other, by how blindly loyal he is to Dazai. He doesn't really dwell on how Dazai is training Akutagawa; it's none of his business, he's in no place to judge how other pm members train their disciples, and it's the mafia, he never expected to find kindness in it to begin with; he'd twist his nose in disapproval whenever he catches a glimpse of what Dazai is doing to his trainee, but it's also like the tenth worst thing he's seen Dazai doing, so he doesn't really think about it.
Akutagawa, on the other end, is fastly growing hostile to Chuuya. He adores Dazai and trusts anything he says, and Dazai is constantly acting like he hates Chuuya– how could it be any different? He's still a child, and a very immature one at that. He's damaging a lot. Not to mention, he can sense Chuuya and Dazai share this connection, this complicity he can only dream to have with Dazai; his antipathy for Chuuya is heightened by jealousy in the partnership he shares with Dazai.
Dazai leaves, and hell breaks loose at the pm. Chuuya and Akutagawa are both left behind, alone and broken. They're hurting like no one can understand– no one except the other. And I don't think they talked about it right away, that year, or the year after that, and I don't think it visibly brought them closer in the immediate; but even then, they must know they're the only ones who can understand each other's pain. Especially on Chuuya's end, who is a little less repressed and a little more emotionally intelligent, this must have been the first time he felt strong sympathy for Akutagawa; because he's going through a lot, and he gets it. He gets what it feels like to be left behind without a warning or a word. He gets how it must have been, if possible, even worse for Akutagawa: because Chuuya loved Dazai, but he also hated him, and their relationship was so complex and infuriating it must have been in part relieving when he left. But Akutagawa loved Dazai blindly and without reservations, and the whole world collapsed upon him when he left, because he was his whole world, and now he's not there anymore. He was just 16.
The ship kind of sails off from there, slowly, gradually. Everyone at the pm expected Akutagawa to leave in the following days. For some reason, he doesn't. Things slowly go back to normal. Years pass, and time heals, I guess. Akutagawa's furious rage through which he would take out his pain gradually morphs in efficiency in carrying out his missions. He has to relearn what it means to have free will, but he's slowly coping. He got a promotion. Overall, he's more mature, and that ends up shrinking the distance between him and Chuuya. At first, it happens casually: waiting together that it stops raining so they can go home after a long mission, and Chuuya initiates conversation. Eventually, they end up spending more time together– at first coincidentally, because of their shared status of high ranking members, and later intentionally. Soon enough, they realize the other was actually so different than the image they had made up of them; and with that unconsciously arises the wish to learn what the other is actually like. And it's gradual and unintentional, untill they get to a point where they've become each other's safe place– they become the person they know isn't going to abandon them. It's kinda sweet :)
#Just yesterday I read a very good fic on chuuaku's slow burn from their shared hurt when Dazai left.#What Remains by frogmouth (91frogs) on ao3#ryūnosuke akutagawa#chūya nakahara#chuuaku#Dazai is such a fundamental element in ss/kk's relationship but it's not like it's any different when it comes to chuuaku.#That man really is fated to sign every life he comes in contact with...#bsd#bungou stray dogs#mine#people asks me stuff#Thank you for asking!! I love talking about them :)
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Reasons to Donate a Kidney
You can make terrible, terrible kidney puns, and no one can stop you from kidney-ing around.
The average lifespan on dialysis is only 5-10 years. You might extend someone's life by 20 years or more!
Dialysis is painful, exhausting, prevents a person from holding a regular work schedule or traveling, and weakens their body over time. Eventually, it fails. You'd be freeing someone to have a normal life.
You aren't just helping the recipient: you're giving something priceless to all the friends and family members who care about that person.
Kidneys from living donors have a higher success rate than kidneys from deceased donors, and last for twice as long!
You might start a kidney chain, in which multiple people receive kidneys! The longest chain on record gave kidneys to over 100 people - and was started by a stranger who didn't know any of them.
Over 80,000 people in the USA alone need a kidney transplant, and several thousand die every year waiting for one. But if even just 1 in 1000 adults donated a kidney, we could wipe out the waiting list overnight.
Kidneys almost always fail in pairs. Your chance of kidney failure isn't much higher with one kidney compared to two.
You get cool donation scars to show people!
Kidney donors actually live longer than the general population, and have a lower rate of kidney failure! Why? Because the screening process for kidney donation screens out potential illnesses early, and kidney donors are more likely to take care of their bodies afterward.
If your remaining kidney does fail, you'll be put at the top of the kidney wait-list, and spend much less time on dialysis. As a result, kidney donors actually have a higher survival rate for kidney failure than non-donors.
The National Kidney Registry also lets kidney donors extend this waitlist benefit to several friends and relatives, in case any of them ever have kidney failure.
The risk of long-term complications from kidney donation is extremely low. Most people can start walking within a day of surgery, go back to work in 1-2 weeks, and are back to 100% within a month.
Doctors and nurses LOVE doing living donor transplants! The success rate is high, complications are low, there's none of the tragedy associated with postmortem transplants, and for once their patients are eager to be there. And, as my nephrologist said, "It's a lot more rewarding than prescribing Viagra!"
It's a way to put a little more kindness into the world, and your example might inspire others, too.
In the USA, all costs for surgery and screenings are covered by the recipient's health insurance or Medicaid/Medicare; you as the donor will not have to pay for it. You can also get reimbursement for lost income through the National Kidney Registry.
Most people will have to get surgery and spend a night in the hospital anyway if they live long enough. Donating an organ lets you have this experience on your terms, while you're healthy, so hospitalization won't be scary or overwhelming if you need it later in life.
You'll learn new things about your body! I discovered that I had an extra vein on the left side of my torso, and that my hemoglobin levels were low. The vein is harmless and cool, but the hemoglobin thing (and taking iron supplements for it) actually helped me avoid developing an iron deficiency later.
It's a chance to be part of something bigger than yourself - a miracle of modern science!
I won't say donating a kidney was "easy," but I will say it was 95% waiting on people, 4% letting doctors and nurses talk at me, and 1% letting them stick me with needles. The hardest part wasn't pain, or fear, but sitting around tired for a couple days.
You probably won't have to make many modifications to your lifestyle after kidney donation. Literally the only activity I was told to avoid was contact sports, and if I'm in pain I take acetaminophen instead of ibuprofen.
You can get a tattoo that says "Some parts may be missing," or "Organ donation - it takes guts!" and a kidney pillow souvenir.
If donating while alive isn't right for you, you can still sign up to be a postmortem organ donor, and increase awareness of living donation! Remember, it would only take a small percentage of people donating to make a BIG difference!
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11/16/24
6:40 p.m
I think they are actually considering saving Riley. I really hope so. She reached out to me about next steps. So maybe not all is lost. I feel bad having to rehome her but it's actually what's best for her and tbh this rescue is ideal. She will never be in a kennel. She will immediately go to a foster home and then they do hardcore checks before allowing someone to take the dog. So fingers crossed. I say saving Riley for a reason. She's never going to be happy here and I'm never going to be healthy with her here and she's never going to be healthy here.
My forearms still hurt. My abs feel like i did nothing. Idk how to arrange my week. I already took the gym off my schedule for tomorrow bc even if somehow I feel better tomorrow I need a day where they feel normal...
If it takes a week idk what to do. I mean i could go Thursday and work on my "abs," that likely don't exist... but it's hard not to try other things... bc I really want to escape when I'm there and working on my abs feels like I'm working on a body part that doesn't exist....
I guess if it takes a week to fully recover my arms i can go Thursday or Friday and work on my "abs," and leave. Then wait until Monday and hopefully by Monday I can start training my arms again...
I did more than work on my abs when I was there. I made workouts recording each machine so I can plan my workouts. There are 17 machines including ab machines... that's kinda too many to do on machine day...
I got to create 3 exercise programs that evenly spread out, arms, chest, shoulders, back and abs... and somehow feel like I'm hitting the gym in the best way.. cause I'm begging my body please recover soon otherwise we wasted a ton of money and I mean what am I going to do? I can't run and I want to workout and I'll take it easier... I promise I'll take it much easier...
Maybe we can do hours sessions 5 days a week or 3, 1 hour and 30 minutes sessions to maybe 2 hours but with more spread out workouts between muscle groups.
I'm getting my testosterone shot Wednesday and you have to idea how badly I hope by Thursday I can really hit the gym.. maybe i should only do 10 dumbbell exercises on my arms in one day. And maybe 10 machines on another day. And maybe 5 dumbbell exercises and 5 machines a different day.. idk. I just want to reach full recovery..
My shoulders and pecs are basically 100%. Id say My biceps are probably 95%.. my triceps I'd say are 100%.. but my forearms can't fucking do it. And i need them and I'm fucking depressed about it. I keep worrying I tore a tendon or ligament but it's not severely painful and I don't have any symptoms. I just over trained and now I'm paying for it with recovery time and it sucks. I'll never do it again... I'll work out half or even less of what I was doing before i fucked myself up and then maybe go more when I see how i do.
I'm begging my body to let me go. I want to go everyday. I have nothing else going for me. I don't think I'm permanently damaged... I just think I'm damaged enough that Monday may be the safest day to start which is saddening bc that's a week from now and I can't do anything but abs and legs and I really won't be doing legs. I don't see the point.. and abs really seem pointless. I'm chubby. I'm never going to lose my belly fat. They will never show. And I'm okay with that. I just want to work on my arms, back and chest.
When I was out today my forearms felt cool which is weird... it was about 2 hours almost since I worked out and i hardly used them at all.... so I mean idk. It could be low blood sugar... I have no idea.
Tomorrow bc i can't go to the gym and i don't need to go grocery shopping i have nothing to do... I'm depressed about it. I won't need to shop until like Saturday or Friday... and yea until I can gym, I have nothing else to do..
I was using an ab machine and I kinda got hard.. I know that's weird... it worked out my pelvis too. Idk. My dick got hard that's all I know..
I want to masterbate but yea I'm bored, I want to make love.
Tomorrow is going to be so boring and I already shaved my body. I try so hard to keep myself busy but I have no one to talk to and nothing to do without the gym..
I guess i could have a red bull day tomorrow maybe. But idk. I got to figure something out it's been a while since I gamed. But I'm bored with my life.
I'm really depressed that I am still single. That I have nothing going for me and that i can't even really workout at the gym.
I just feel like my life is pointless. I got to keep believing in my love story otherwise I'm going to commit suicide.
I do not see the point in continuing to live like this bc even when/if Riley leaves, I still have nothing. And my family isn't rehoming her for me and my thyriod. They don't care about me.
I'll never be a husband or a father. I'll never be an anyone. And no one will ever date me again. I'm going to be single forever.
I only tricked Katie into dating me bc I told her i was working on my masters degree when we first met... if I told her i was disabled and not in school and not working she would have never dated me. I mean I wasn't really working on my masters but I hadn't finished the program and I did finish it while i dated her... but I mean.... you know.... I can't tell anyone im doing anything with my life now..
I tricked her into thinking i was going to be a someone and she resented me for lying to her about working on my masters. She was like you said you were studying... and I was like I mean I prob was but I dont remember...
I have nothing to tell anyone I'm doing with my life if any girl ever thought i was cute.
All i can say is id be a great stay at home dad. I can be home all day.. most women want a provider. I am not being sexist. Most men want a provider too... two income families are almost entirely required to function without kids at this point................. so yea ain't no one going to see any reason to date me.
No women like bald guys with glasses who are short who have no job and don't go to school. And someone who is very mentally ill.
I feel like my hallucination has been worse.. it's the same really. But it never stops. And I often feel like all these tasks I give myself I'm actually trying to run away from myself. I'm not joking. I'm trying to run away from myself by keeping myself busy so I don't think too much so I don't hallucinate as much.
I want to run away from myself. Suicide is the only escape.
Or a loving real family and people who actually care about me and support me. I don't have that and I'm never going to have that. December 1st seems like a good time to get a cabin and have a peaceful suicide. Best part is if I do it the night before my stay ends the owner will find my body and I will be identified. And sent home. I hope I get buried under a beautiful tree.
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About two and a half years ago, I made a life changing decision. After almost two years of Covid lockdowns, seven years of poor mental health and a deep hatred of the direction my life was going, I consulted my doctor about Bariatric surgery. It was the absolute last resort, something I adamantly did not want but something needed to change. I’ve been heavy all of my adult life but being locked in, away from the world took its toll and I ballooned to over 350 lbs. Mind you, I am 6 feet tall & big boned but at 30 years old, I was in constant pain. Severe back pain, that was “blamed” on my weight (let’s ignore the fractured disk and mass on my spine…that can’t possibly cause pain, right?); severe plantar fasciitis and swelling in my feet. I avoided mirrors, especially when naked bc I hated my body.
There is a horrible misconception about Bariatric surgery. It is NOT the easy way out. It is NOT permanent. I spent nine months taking classes in nutrition, meeting with dietitians, social workers, nurses and psychologists to get to the bottom of my eating disorder (yes, obesity is an eating disorder whether society wants to admit it or not). When I was finally approved, I couldn’t wait! Yes, surgery is drastic and risky, but I was a walking time bomb. All my labs all came back “normal” but how long would that last?
July 21, 2022 I started three weeks of a strict, liquid only diet. The shakes tasted like shit…basic nutrients to keep me alive and shrink my liver. Although I was supposed to drink four a day, by the end I was lucky to get one in me a day. I definitely took eating for granted. August 13 was my surgery date and I had already lost 32 lbs in those three weeks.
After surgery was worse. First week, liquid diet, watered down beverages, no solid foods. Slowly, I introduced new foods and learned my new stomach. I had a laparoscopic vertical sleeve gastrectomy (gastric sleeve….my stomach is the size and shape of a small banana).
At the two year mark, I am down almost 95 lbs and about 40 lbs away from my goal. To say I’ve had an easy go since surgery would be inaccurate. I suffer from frequent acid reflux (>1% of sleeve patents get it…yay me), dumping syndrome and other side effects BUT, I would do it again in a heartbeat. My back pain is gone (still have arthritis and a mass on my spine but the nerve pain is gone); the swelling and plantar fasciitis are gone. My self esteem and mental health better (not perfect, but significantly better).
To anyone who feels trapped in their body, I see you. It takes immense courage to seek help but the benefits are worth it! I have my life back! I have a better job and a brighter outlook in my future. It can be done.
#story of my life#life changing#bariatric surgery#you can do it#be kind to yourself#if i’m being honest#I got my life back#paperwhite#my post
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Clouds in my Head
He slammed the door after him. And it caught my pinkie finger … when he slammed it, I mean.
I mean, my little finger was lying in the gap between the doorway and door. And the door crushed the finger.
The pain was actually valuable in a way because it detracted from what’d just happened. I was on the floor in the first place because he’d just punched me in the face, hard enough to knock me over. My boyfriend. Yet I expected, as I heard him thunder downstairs, that he wouldn’t be with me much longer.
Did he know what he’d done to the pinkie? I suppose it was in second-effort to the fist blow, in terms of dramatic insult.
For a while I stayed there on the floor and held my crushed finger with the other hand. Then I sat up. And thought I was going to be sick and this dizziness made clouds in my head – so I waited for them to pass over and my wits to go clear. Then brought my other hand away.
The nail had come off from the little finger and it bled like … oh, like if you’d imagine a red ink Biro pen exploding. If that’s a good enough simile?
I gulped and the first thing I thought of was to take out a tissue from my back pocket. I’ve always been fond of tissues. They seem to bring a certain aspect of comfort, or homeliness, don’t they? For they have so many functions, aside from nose blows; they can wipe up spills when you muck up; can deal with any grimy stuff that you’d rather not deal with with your own skin.
Upwards, I stood. It was real quiet in the house and I paused and listened as if expecting a sound to give me the next cue.
Nothing happened and so I went downstairs. I locked the door. In case he came back.
Then I went into the toilet and opened the tap onto my bashed finger. As if the water might heal it with its elixir fluid. It’s crazy when something brutal happens to your body, physically: it tends to shun out everything else in terms of problems. Whether it’s money or relationships or family, etc. When you’re injured you revert to animalistic terms.
There was an A & E a mile away from my house.
I didn’t have work today. Didn’t have anything to do; so I put my coat on and left for the hospital.
Outside it was a lovely pretty birdsong filled day.
I saw one of my neighbours walking his dog at the end of the road. Luckily he had his back to me and was forty yards off, so I didn’t have to go near him: and then I took the side path off and away from him so he wouldn’t see me.
This new path was up next to the supermarket. On any normal day I’d go in there and get the newspaper. For today, a place like the supermarket gave me a vaccination for going to the A & E; the mass public panic, the widespread unease.
But, I’d have to deal with it.
Got to the motorway and the buses were filled with depressed people and cars with who knows what mood.
I walked through the next district with the tenement flats and the fields underneath them which must’ve given plenty hope and eventual failure to many young kids kicking balls about. There was nobody on the grass as I passed. And the goalposts had an eerie gesture, rather like dock piers in early morning, or market squares at night.
When I got to the hospital I didn’t quite know where to go.
I’d seen the building many many times because it was hard to miss on any city horizon; this mammoth complex.
There was a man inside an idle ambulance nearby, and I knocked on his window. He scrolled his screen down.
“Can I go into that entrance,” I asked, pointing, “if I have an injury?”
“Yes, you can.” His expression was genuine and concerned and was what belonged to one of the good people on the planet. That’s who I needed to meet right now and I was grateful to him.
When I walked into the hospital atrium there were around 300 people already there, 5% filled with nurses and paramedics and 95% with civilians with all kinds of intense problems needing solved. I waited in the queue leading up to the reception for fifteen minutes. And when I got there there was a lady receptionist.
“I have damage to one of my fingers,” I said. And showed her the wad of tissue. This was a mistake because I didn’t realise how bloody it’d become by now. She frowned when she saw it.
“How did that happen?”
“I was pulling the window down at home and shut it on my finger. I just did it too fast. It was stupid, I know.”
Just by the way she gazed at me I knew she knew that I was lying but she didn’t ask for any more details aside from my date of birth and my full name and then told me to go and sit somewhere in the atrium of three hundred people and remain there until somebody else called my name.
There was a little boy next to me. With his mama. He had breathing difficulties – as if his throat was on fire. I really wished I had the power to help him. And hoped that he would be seen before me.
He was. Some nurse came out of the sliding doors of the interior and called the family name and then the mother lifted up and took him away to her … and he buried his face in her upper bosom.
And a long time later somebody came and called my name too.
It was another female nurse.
“What happened to your face?” she said.
That’s what she asked after I lied about the pinkie injury.
“Nothing.”
“Your cheek is swollen and your lip is all discoloured.”
“That’s … No. I just. No.”
“Did you get beaten up?”
“I just …”
“You just what?”
“I want to get my finger healed up. Please. And that’s all.”
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And you know what's so frustrating? That I look fine to the average person. I don't limp much 95% of the time, I don't complain unless it's a really bad day, I look exactly the same as I did before minus 10 kg.
What does this mean? Well, others don't get it. At first my family was understanding all the time and now they're just counting the days until I'm able to fend for myself halfway decently again. I feel like a liar when I tell my teachers I didn't attend class and didn't do homework because I had a bad day on a Monday and I felt the repercussions the whole week. I feel like I'm making bullshit excuses for laziness even though I KNOW I just wasn't functioning. But they can't see that, they just see me standing there looking exactly the same as I do every day and I know they don't believe me.
I'm becoming a burden to others, a liability. Not a single person that I know understands what I'm going through, not really. You can't imagine pain that you haven't felt. How do you think it feels when your bone presses against your nerves and you can feel your whole leg burning? When you sit and it feels like someone has taken a clamp and pinched the nerves on the back of your thigh? Like you're being stabbed around the hips? Your muscles always sore as if you lifted for the first time in weeks?
They don't get it, and what's more, they get tired of hearing about it.
Yeah, yeah, you're "hurting". You're always complaining about it, how about you get over it already and get back to working like a normal person?
It's so... alienating.
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🔥Summer Time Sal Fisher Extravaganza!🔥
(Contains HCs + a short imagine sequence)
Cw: mentions of sickness due to overheating, vomit mention
When it comes to seasons, autumn and winter are definitely Sal's favorites
He loves all the warm, cozy stuff, good food, and especially the cool to frigid weather.
Autumn and winter Sally are Sal in his natural state, with the oversized sweaters, jeans, fingerless gloves with hoodie and earmuffs
But this post isn't about Sal in winter and fall
Here's some sweet wintertime Sal stuff if you're looking for that
But it's practically July, and we're all kind of burning up, aren't we?
So, yeah, Sally isn't a fan of summer.
He starts getting cranky around the middle of spring, just when it's starting to warm up
His prosthetic is so hot, physically and aesthetically.
It's thick, at least a good quarter of an inch, and either fiberglass or a thick polymer plastic, but definitely not something as soft as medical grade silicone.
Also, it's not just smooth inside like a normal mask would be
There's gonna be all sorts of supporting ridges and padding where Sal needs support to the parts of his face that had the most damage
As well as the tissue Sal shoves up in the right cheek area to help tamp down his drool situation
Needless to say, going around with a thick layer on your face, in summer, with your breath constantly bouncing back in your face because your prosthetics designer gave your mask a coin slot for a mouth... It would make for a bad time.
Those nose holes only provide so much ventilation and I speak this from experience
So to beat the heat, Sal sheds his oversized sweaters and flannels and jeans for cooler clothes, but sticks with his prosthetic
In my DR, Sal didn't like going out without his prosthetic until after his prison stint, where he came to terms with his appearance. Now he only wears it on bad pain days and around kids so he doesnt scare them
But in his teens and early twenties, Sal was much more shy
Since he didn't feel comfortable without his prosthetic, he tried to relieve the heat with clothes that help him stay as cool as possible when in public
I'm talking tank tops and board shorts, band shirts that he's cut the sleeves off of (and sometimes a good portion of the sides too) and cargo shorts, kilts, skirts that Ash lets him borrow, if it keeps him cool, he's wearing it
When Sal is home, or at Larry's, it becomes more a matter of Sal appreciating feeling air in his skin period, whether it's his face or his body
On super hot days you can catch him in only jeans, pajama pants, or his boxers (but only in his room)
Products used by Sal to lessen his sweaty misery during the hot months: baby powder, athletic powder, chalk powder, corn starch, deodorant, antiperspirant, dryer sheets, vapor rub (the menthol makes him think he's cooler than he really is)
If you drop in at Larry's while Sal's there, any summer between 1993 to 1999, you will find them shirtless and gaming or sunken into bean bags surrounded by instruments, sweaty from exchanging licks on the guitar or bass
Their shirts can always be found in the living room, tossed on the couch like they took their shirts off like you would your jacket upon arriving home
Neither Sal or Larry tolerate high heat levels well, though Larry fares better than Sal
Some of the meds Sal takes make him more sensitive to heat and sunlight
So if Sal gets too hot, he starts getting sick at his stomach and a headache. If ignored, his body will decide to start vomiting, which Sal hates, so he feels even worse and eventually has to go home and lie down for a while.
Sal tries to avoid going outside if the heat levels go above 95°
Due to his scarring, his sweat glands got a little messed up, so some work, some don't. Regardless it means he can't cool off the way the body is intended to
However his only exception is to go swimming
Larry discovered this the summer after Sal came to Nockfell...
It was a sweltering July afternoon, around three when the day was at it's hottest. The AC at Addison's was on the fritz, and Larry and Sal were laying like dead flies on the kitchen floor of Larry's apartment. The basement apartment was cooler than Sal's up on the fourth floor, but not by much.
"You wanna go to the lake, dude?" Larry asked as he shifted his body so it was touching fresh, cool tile instead of the body heated tile he had previously been occupying.
"I dunno, Larry" Sal said from his spot on the floor only feet away, "It's hot as hell. Everyone's gonna be there. And I'm already having to dry my prosthetic out from the sweat, so I can't wear it."
So Larry went about describing this spot that he knew about, a pretty deep creek that split off from Wendigo Lake.
"Not a lot of people know about it, dude. My dad used to take me there when I was a kid... There's a swinging rope (:3)."
Finally, between the unbearable heat, which was ever pressing down on Sal as he did the same as Larry and repositioned himself on a new stretch of cool tile, and Larry's descriptions of this forest oasis, Sally relented, "Okay. We'll go. But I'm not walking."
"Of course, dude" Larry said, getting up to ask Lisa to drive them. He remembered the last time Sal had overheated. They had tried to walk clear across town to a new record shop and Larry had ended up having to carry Sal home, thrown over his shoulder. It wouldn't have been so bad, but about halfway there, Sal had puked down his back
Lisa happily drove them. The boys had been laying around for days, and she was happy for the excuse to get them outside.
The heat got better once Larry and Sal got under the canopy of the trees surrounding Wendigo Lake. Larry led Sal straight to it, no loss of direction at all, even though there was no trail. Sal did have a little struggle at the end, there was a hill that was just too steep for Sal's shorter legs to climb. There were rocks interspersed up the hill, which Larry climbed easily. To his credit, Sal tried, trying to stretch from one rock to the next, but they were spaced too far apart.
So Larry ended up giving him a hand and hauling Sal up the hill from where he was perched. They were more than a little sweaty in their swim shorts and shirts, and getting a little cranky. But as Sal stood from climbing up the last bit of hill, he looked down at the view that was now unblocked.
Sal had been seeing glimpses of a creek that, in his opinion, seemed too dried up to swim in. They might be lucky to get their ankles wet, he had thought. But before him, he saw that the creek widened here, and looked pretty deep, the water dark and the bottom concealed. There was a tree next to them, large and sprawling and it shaded the area. A thick rope was tied to a low hanging branch and a set of bicycle handlebars had been tied to it, for maximum grip.
A tree had fallen in the creek at some point and the water covered it except for the ends of gnarly looking roots which stuck up at one end. A part of its long trunk was visible in the water towards the center. Beyond the tree, there was an area that had been cleared enough for lounging on the shore and in one space, sunbathing.
"Well?" Larry asked, "What do you-"
And Sal was already sprinting past Larry, catching the rope as he passed and swinging into the water, coming up a few seconds later with a victorious whoop.
Larry blinked for a second. Besides fights, he'd never seen Sal move so fast. He looked to the left where Sal had been standing and only found his shirt, shoes, socks, and towel. He smiled to himself as he bent to collect his friends things and carried them to the little cove the forest made. Once there, Larry's shirt, towel and shoes joined Sal's in a little pile off to the side. Then he returned to the hill and flung himself into the water, not even using the rope, letting out a Tarzan yell as he speared through the air.
And that's how Larry learned that Sal absolutely loves all things water.
They were there until well after dark, which worked out because they were able to walk back home in relative safety from the heat at that point.
Yes, Sal will swim all day if you let him
Sal really likes diving and being completely submerged
The feeling of near weightlessness that water gives Sal on his face, head and neck is a huge relief, and he takes full advantage of it
In the summer months, Sal and the gang spent a lot of time at the lake, either where everyone else swims, but mostly at Larry's secret spot
Sal was never taught to swim btw
His body has just always known how
He'd only ever been swimming twice before Larry took him to his cove, and those times were at the pool
So when Sal swims, it's not like he's swimming and diving like a professional athlete or anything
He can doggy paddle, long stroke, and mermaid dive
But it works for him, he can swim like hell and hold his breath forever
It's actually kind of beautiful seeing Sal underwater
His hair swirls around his head and face like seaweed, the bubbles decorate the ridges of his scars and his smile is absolutely radiant
#💙#sally face#sal fisher#sally face sal fisher#sally face sal#sally face headcanons#sal fisher headcanons#larry johnson#sally face larry#sally face larry johnson#cw mentions of stomach sick#cw vomit mention
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Genshin: Roommate HCs [V1]
To be honest, I just wanted to ramble some more and let my brainworms take over. This is sorta late but Happy Valentine’s everyone! I was gonna post this earlier but this honestly took me a long time to write so I moved it to today.
Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. Seriously, as much as I love writing this non-serious fics. Why do you people like this?
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Based off my ramblings with Keqing anon: Link
Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]
Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]
Genshin: University AU [V1]
Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]
[Masterlist]
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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.
@youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @kaechu @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife @dokidokisama @rokipersonal@minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki @hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact
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Diluc
What? Diluc has a roommate? Did you blackmail him in living with you? Is that even possible? Did you throw yourself in front of his car because you needed someone to pay for your student loans and the easiest way was to file a lawsuit? In this economy no one would blame you. Diluc seems like such the self-isolated character that would murder his roommate in cold blood but in reality, he act’s detached from the world because he forgot how to socialize and he’s desperately trying to cover it up without choking. That or he’s trying to learn how to astral project. If he could drink away the pain he would but instead he buys 20 packs of grape Kool-Aid and injects it into his veins.
Does not and will not ever have a normal sleeping schedule. You’ll wake up to him working, come back home to him working, and will sleep to him still working. His daily dose of Vitamin D is from the brightness of his screen rather than the sun and he’s filter feeding at this point. It’s concerning. He’s going to crumble and he’s bringing the world down with him. Through the power of tax evasion. But as soon as he needs to walk out into society, he pulls movie magic and looks like perfection. It’s both physically and mentally disgusting.
He’s actually is a really nice roommate to have just so long as you give him space. Great cook and knows to clean up after himself. Though he does have crash and burn days where’s he’s completely out of commission. You could set the entire apartment on fire and he would sleep through it. The entire two weeks are dedicated to zombie eye marathons and then he’ll suddenly collapse and sleep for 46 hours straight. When he wakes up from his hibernation he’s the most groggy and nonsensical person. His life blood is coffee because you keep hiding the 5 hour energy away from him because, you know, life is enjoyable and those cancer bottles will actually kill him.
“University sucks our money out of our bodies faster than our will to live.”
Beidou [Happy Birthday Queen 💕]
Despite her appearance, she’s actually really strong and it scares the piss out of you when you’re doing something or scrolling through your phone mindlessly and you suddenly get your spine re-arranged when she slaps you on the back to ask what you’re doing. Likewise, when she hoists you up and throws you over her shoulder so you come with her on her 3am convivence store raids for alcohol. It’s either you change now or else we’re walking out of the apartment in your t-shirt and no pants self. She can and will carry you under her arm that way. It’s both incredibly attractive and horrifying at the same time.
She’s really friendly and a great talker if you’re alright with her “I must hold you in my arms, fresh prince of bel air style”. It doesn’t matter if you’re taller than her, she’s doing it. She does however, get in a bit of trouble from her rowdiness and you often get noise complaints but Beidou just passes them off to Ningguang and everything is fixed. She has ovaries of steel when neighbors rather confront her personally and she’s ready to 1v1 in the parking lot. You’re trying to desperately hold onto her shirt to stop her from pile driving your neighbors for the third time this week but she’s too strong.
She’s constant party until we die attitude and suffers the hangover in the morning. It’s actually really funny to catch her in her hangover moods because whatever filter Beidou had, which is none, is gone. She really takes “cursing like a sailor” or the next level and the amount of creativity she comes up with is actually impressive. She can be a bit messy but she’s really likeable and always down to go anywhere with you as long as you’ll do the same. It’s a very ride together, we die together situation. You’re my best friend, you’re dying with me. I’ll see you in hell.
“Imma T pose over my dad and then crash the car into the parking garage.”
Kaeya
Kaeya on the surface seems like such a chill roommate. And he is for the most part. But he’s such an ass. Your things are his things, no questions asked. If you just bought a really nice sweater or you had leftover food, that’s his now. He’s innocent until proven guilty even if he’s literally holding your lunch. The pure amount of bullshit he can spit out to convince you that no, he did not pull the fire alarm because he wanted an excuse for not going to work, puts him on Shakespeare level. He’s also very pretty, way too pretty, sir can you share some of your genes?
But aside from that, he’s actually super dependable. You forgot something at home? Sure, he has nothing better to do so he can bring them for you. We’re missing eggs? No problem, he’s just by the store. You’re 95% sure that he just wants to be cheeky and make you thank him for 20 minutes before he actually hands you what you asked for. It’s better for you if you never tell him anything you’re afraid of because Kaeya has no social cues, or more like he throws them out the window, and he’s probably a psychopath.
He’s incredibly private of his room and things despite his attitude towards yours. You’re convinced he either has a secret lab or that’s where he’s storing the bodies. I was the good guy but due to unfortunate circumstances, I need to stab a bitch. But he’s a really good serious talker for those 3am, because everything happens at 3am, talks about life and the meaning of the universe. It absolutely wrecks your sleep schedule but some of the things you talk about are the most crackhead things like what’s the lowest amount of money someone would have to pay you to walk outside without clothes? It’s a legitimate question.
“Never before have I been so offended with something I 100% agree with.”
Jean
Okay, what world did you save in a past life to live with his absolutely wonderful woman? Mother Teresa take a load off, take a seat. You have nothing to worry about. She’ll bring home little treats back home and it’s the most wholesome thing ever?? Is this what love and affection feels like? We’ve been starved for so long. She says it’s not a big deal and anyone would do it BUT THE MOMENT SOMEONE BUYS FOOD FOR YOU. IT’S A MAGICAL MOMENT. They are forever stuck in your will until proven otherwise. An absolute ray of sunshine that must be protected.
She does get super busy so you don’t often see each other or get to hang out as much. She’s a bit of a workaholic but a lot more easier to talk her into taking a break. She’s also a pretty decent cook but she prefers baking and jesus christ, girl can you calm down? Be still my beating heart, I’ve been smitten. Has mother hen vibes that you’re not sure if she’s your roommate or if she adopted you into her family. It’s time to start a petition for the Jean protection squad. Given the opportunity, I would aggressively hold your hand.
She’s always open to whatever you want to do. Any recommendations or things that you like she will try out at least once despite her busy schedule. She’s lowkey lonely because work consumes her so any time you want to hang out or do something together, she jumps on it like she’s feral. She get’s a bit shy to ask if she can join in on your plans because she doesn’t want to bother you or intrude no matter how many times you tell her that’s okay, she still get’s a bit iffy about it. Please save this girl before she trips. In your arms. Platonically. Just kidding haha. Unless?
“I can’t wait to see you happy and not hating everyone again haha.”
Childe
First impressions of Childe were great, until he opened his mouth and you realized how much of a two brain cell child(e) he was. He has two braincells because they constantly have to 1v1 in his brain. He’s lived with a lot of siblings so he has no social awareness or concept of privacy that you’re lucky if you come home and he’s half-dressed. It doesn’t matter if you’re 2 weeks older than him, he’s going to call you 82 years old and why your bones aren’t being fossilized at this point. He’s such a little shit, this fucker licks the yogurt lid peel.
He get’s really restless when he’s stuck under house arrest, because apparently 1v1ing in the parking lot of a Wendy’s is illegal for some reason, so he makes dying whale noises until he get’s to go outside again. But he’s actually a really wholesome guy, probably because of his younger siblings, that he’ll sometimes get you something because you seemed down and it’s such whiplash? Who is this man and where did he come from? You’re starting to have a change of heart before he tells you that he got banned from the library for accidently punching the school’s computer. How you “accidently” punch something you have no idea but Childe always comes home with some sort of injury. Maybe he’s just incredibly clumsy. For your sanity, you’re going to go with that.
He’s actually so uncultured that it’s crippling. You can’t blame him too much considering his upbringing and it’s great that he’s so interested in learning new things but...child no...It makes you want to take your spine out of your ass and rip it like a Beyblade. Watching him take chopsticks and stab his food like it’s marshmallows makes you want to fall into a blackhole and let the chair consume you.
“I, too, fantasize about beating the living shit out of people.”
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Is this another tag yourself game cause I resonate with Diluc. I’m crying in insomnia. As much as I enjoy writing these fics I absolutely hate tagging them. I remember I used to have a tag anon but that was back when I wrote for bnha.
Valentine’s Day was fun tho. I had a drinking game with friends as we played league then ended it off with a movie night.
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin imagines#genshin impact imagines#genshin fanfic#genshin impact fanfiction#genshin headcanons#genshin impact headcanons#genshin crack#genshin impact crack#genshin impact childe#childe x reader#genshin childe x reader#genshin impact diluc#diluc x reader#genshin diluc x reader#genshin impact beidou#beidou x reader#genshin beidou x reader#genshin impact jean#genshin jean x reader#jean x reader#genshin impact kaeya#kaeya x reader#genshin kaeya x reader
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