#8. have you ever thought about cutting down or stopping? never (0/14)

[john-marshall]

14

[tiny-crecher]

Unus Annus Secrets

Here I’m going to try and explain all of the Unus Annus codes + possible lore. If I have forgotten some information or if one of these links doesnt work/is incorrect please let me know. This post will be updated when needed. 

This is LONG, so be prepared. 

At first, these codes were only in videos edited by NerdFiction, but as of October 26th this is no longer true. (The possible exception to this would be the first video I’ve listed, as the editor is not in the description). 

1) 5 Weird Apps That Predicted Our Death

 “Here at Unus Annus the end is nigh... when the timer hits zero we will cease to exist. is it fate? is this a simulation? Can anybody hear me? My name is.... [FILE REDACTED]”. Timestamp - 0:14

2) Ethan Roasts Mark for 15 Minutes Straight

 “and in the comments, you will read the words you soon will see are wise controlling pawns who type our deed ‘That is Discord, not FaceTime’” Timestamp - 0:40

“within this truth a question stands, is the pee sauna ever close?”. [“Pee Sauna”was uploaded about a week afterwards] Timestamp - 0:40

3) Our Fans Try to Scare Us with Their Homemade Creepypasta

“What will happen if the clock stops”

“Could I find a way to keep it going?”

“If neither hand is right, what deals are left?”

“Who is the master of the clock?” (all around 8:44)

4) Learning to Cry on Command to Increase Our Youtube Views

“remember the key, the incompletion of a logolept’s corrective action” [a logolept is “a person who takes a keen interest in words”. Marcus is likely referring to himself.] Timestamp - 1:49

“the long wait ends with twenty four more for a path of destiny chosen before”[“Pee Sauna” was uploaded the day after] (closely after the last code)

5) Becoming One With the Horse

“They heard me, I knew it could work!” (timestamp currently unknown; to be updated)

Around this time, NerdFiction’s Twitter bio said, among his normal information, that he was “trying to stop the Unus Annus clock from within.” 

6) Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our Youtube Famous Dogs

“I couldn’t stop it. Will I die with the machine?” (Timestamp - 21:33)

7) Does This Magnetic Skincare Routine Really Work?

“freed or so I thought. Another layer, but still the clock.” (Timestamp - 9:45)

“The Beginning of The End”. 

On July 26th, at 12pm PST, a video was uploaded to Unus Annus titled “Traversing the Desert to Find Our Inner Truth”. This video was only up for a few minutes before it mysteriously disappeared, only to be replaced by another video, titled “The Beginning of The End”. At first glance, the videos were identical, save for different titles and slightly different descriptions. However, the second video was slightly longer than the first, and upon further inspection, many came to realize that the audio was slightly different as well. You can listen to both audios here. There was a rumor going around that the captions of “Traversing the Desert to Find Our Inner Truth” said something about looking out for Norbert Moses, but no one has been able to confirm this to my knowledge. 

8) Puberty Simulator

“Happy birthday to the beast or to the body that once housed me. A transfer made for pity’s sake. Tricked into the machine as he had my cake.” (Timestamp - 14:36) [The same code was found a week earlier in “Mark and Ethan Shave Chica”, uploaded on NerdFiction’s birthday. The original code was very difficult to make out, so it is likely he inserted it into a different video to make it easier for us.]

On the same day, NerdFiction’s Twitter bio read “Everyone must leave something behind when he dies. Memento Memoriae” (remember memory)

In “The Koala Challenge: TikTok’s Intimate Couple’s Trend” one of the clips is edited to look like a TikTok video, with the user ron_somberest being used. Ron_Somberest is an anagram for Norbert Moses. This TikTok account does actually exist, and the icon is a zoomed in and brightened photo of Norbert Moses’s face with the eyes scribbled out. 

Around this time NerdFiction’s Twitter bio read “’It’s not dark, never was’ - Ron Bestsmore”. Ron Bestsmore is also an anagram for Norbert Moses. It is possible that the “dark” being referred to here is Darkiplier, and NerdFiction is trying to imply that Dark is not involved in this. 

About a week after the koala challenge video was “How to Start a Fire (except don’t)”, which featured an appearance from Unus. NerdFiction’s Twitter bio read “In the end, who is your savior and what are they saving you from?” 

Things were quiet for about a month. NerdFiction eventually erased the cryptic message from his Twitter bio. 

9) Learning To Use The Force

“wait no something is wrong. he knows!” (Timestamp - 10:45) [translated from small coded words hidden in the montage]

“STOPTHISWHATAREYOUDOINGO3″ (Timestamp - 11:40)

“it worked” (a spectrogram, derived from a sound played at the end of the video)

10) Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea

“As I was, as I’ve done to him now. Am I right to decide his fate?” (Timestamp - 5:44) [Right before this, Mark’s mom is talking about a nightmare she had where she was paralyzed, possibly implying that nerdfiction was once paralyzed and has now paralyzed someone else (pointed out by @/minervas-sandwich)]

11) Cryptid Olympics

“I thought you’d join us but, hey, that was just a theory, Memento Doctrina” (remember learning). (Timestamp - 5:49) [The code references the Game Theorists channel, which had uploaded a video about Unus Annus earlier that same day.]

- From here on, every video has had some sort of code -

12) Edward Pumpkin Hands - This was the first coded video not edited by NerdFiction, instead being edited by Diceroll.

At various points throughout the video small parts of a url are seen. When pieced together, this link is made: https://imgur.com/a/tyDewJ7. It leads to a photo of the Unus Annus hourglass. When edited, a series of binary text is shown, which translates to “zhIaNL2“. Inputting this into another imgur link gets you to https://imgur.com/a/zhIaNL2. After editing the photo (although you can still sorta see it without doing so), a cipher of a custom alphabet is shown (I posted an edited photo here).

At 5:01 in the video a weird image is shown for only a moment (a slightly brightened version of it here). Nobody knows what the hell it means.

At the same time, there is a reversed audio of someone (presumably Ethan; it sounds like him) saying “we did that”. For context, the sentence said right before that line was “if one of us dies, the other has to take over for the remainder of time”. This is possibly implying that someone, or multiple someones, has/have died and been replaced.

13) Blood Bath - edited by rad_r

“Everything’s fine”

The Unus Annus timer is shown. It counts down for three seconds before counting up for one second. Heavy breathing can be heard over it. It is then cancelled by an error message

“ITS NOT FINE HELP” (this and the previous two messages are hidden at 5:57)

“you’ve done it now.. a machine observed. there is no returning.. a machine unnerved. there is only.. a machine unconqured.” (right at the end of the video, before the timer)

14) The Unus Annus Annual Costume Contest - edited by nerdfiction

“I saw just one door in a hall filled with many, I locked your gate but they were too late to join me. He was re-placed, she was undone, I had escaped yet he had still won”. (Timestamp - 2:05) [possibly talking about diceroll and rad_r. The pronouns would line up, and it would make sense with those two now having edited coded videos.]

15) Ethan Turns Mark Into a Werewolf - edited by rad_r

“futility or farewell? only time time time.” (timestamp - 7:17)

16) Ethan Kidnapped Mark - edited by Diceroll

Two spectrograms are shown in this video; one at 14:08 and one at 17:38. Combined, they create an imgur link: https://imgur.com/a/gKB62sv

The imgur link shows a photo of a key. On the key is a code translating to “stop the clock”

At the end of the video before the timer is a set of text in the custom alphabet previously mentioned. Translated and decoded it translates to “I can hear it coming theres not much time left the ones that tried to stop it have had their hearts cleft it is now your turn to put this loop to rest take us out of here and show us a new nest”

17) Being Brutally Honest with Each Other

“It is alive, no longer living / misunderstood beats unforgiving / escaped that fate but lost the tale / does a hope yet remain or just one final nail?” (Timestamp - 26:03)

18) Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video

“The bottom of the spiral” (timestamp - 10:55)

19) “All Our Video Ideas That Never Happened”

“Be careful for what you wish for” (taken from two different codes)

*20) The Unus Annus Last Supper + Who’s Cutting Onions In Here??? - both edited by rad_r

“We’ve asked... we’ve tried... is there no way to stop the end? To those who aren’t deterred: how much will you sacrifice to ascend?” (A quotefall puzzle, split into 2 parts)

21) Everything’s Legal If You’re Dead

Norbert Moses is mentioned at 10:50. Look closely, his name is only there for a couple frames.

These have been the only codes I’m aware of as of 11/11/20. 

(be sure to check out @gemstone6’s list as well!!)

Link to my Unus Annus theory

[avinaccia]

A Completely Objective and Logical Ranking of Every Hetalia Character Song

New character songs are dropping,  I have too much time on my hands, let’s go. 

Also here’s a Youtube playlist for the ~✨nostalgia✨~

Bring it on in the tags 

71. Ah Legendary Class⭐The Awesome Me Highway [Prussia]: Absolutely tearing it up on the drums and on the vocal cords alike (I pray for Atsushi Kousaka). Great for the memes. 

70.  Happy Thoughts Museum [???]: This is listed as an official song but I had literally never heard of the title. Then I listened to it and BAM! Smack back to 2013 watching the teasers for the show on Funimation. Not sure I’d count it as a character song though...

69. (Nice)  My Song that is written by me for me [Prussia]: Deafened me but I can appreciate the industrial grind.

68.  My House is...Quiet. ~With the Trolls~ [Norway]: I have never heard this song, nor can I find any version of it online. By default it goes here and I am so sorry Norge.

67.  Make a Wish to Santa♪ [Sealand]: The discordant notes and childish exuberance only serve to make this sound like a demonic plea to Santa to eliminate the singer’s enemies.

66.  Heaven and Hell on Earth [Rome]: Rome sounds like he’s been in the corner of a restroom. Extra points for the metal version, minus points for the fact that the beach scene was replayed like 1764 times.

65. Canada Complete Introduction [Canada]: Quiet af until Kumacheerio shows up and blows out your speakers. they did you dirty my darling 😔

64.  It’s Easy!!! [America]: I don't think any video of this has ever stayed up for more than 20 seconds. Sounds cool, but like I was listening to 20 different genres at once, someone make him calm down.

63.  Bù Zàiyì the Small Stuff ☆ [China]: I cannot for the life of me find the complete song anywhere, clips have a cool beat though

62.  Let's Boil Hot Water♪ [Italy]: Exactly what it says on the tin..though a bit too close to elevator music for my tastes.

61.  The Fragrance of Early Summer [Japan]: Very ‘from the books’ Japan-esque song

60.  Peace Sounds Nice…[Baltic Trio]: All well and good until the radio demon shows up

59.  W●D●C ~World Dancing~ [America]: How a song can sound like it’s from 4 different decades at once is beyond me

58.  Overflowing Passion [BFT]: This is just drunken karaoke and I have 0 clue what’s going on #iconicforallthewrongreasons

57. Ren●Ren●Renaissance♪ [Rome+Chibitalia]: Wholesome Grandpa with Grandson content - barring the fact that Italy sounds on the verge of a nervous breakdown and Rome has had too much wine.

56.  Roma Antiqua [Rome]: Similar energy to any one of China’s songs - there’s a part of the song where it sounds like he’s singing in the shower, and I will never not laugh at [CENSORED]

55.  Country From Where the Sun Rises, Zipangu [Japan]: Very chill, very Japan, but just meh for me.

54.  Moon Over Emei Shan [China]: Good message, okay song.

53.  My Friend [England]: What a mind palace you must have Mr. Kirkland

52.  With Love, from Iceland [Iceland]: Three words: Heavy. Metal. Puffin.

51.  Having Friends is Nice...♫ [Russia]: Russia is the cutest thing ever

50.  Mm. [Sweden]: Smooth transition from WWE Smackdown to shopping at IKEA.

49.  Why don’t you come over? ~Beyond the Northern Lights~ [Iceland]: I don’t want to be mean but...this does sound like the second closing theme to an anime whose first closing was much more popular (à la Soul Eater)

48. Gakuen☆Festa [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Sounds like a 60s song of the summer but oh dear their voices do not go together. Hella cute though.

47.  Wa! Wa!! World Ondo [Main Cast]: One time I travelled 10 hours in a coach bus with a bunch of teenagers to a city of note in my country, and the only souvenir I bought was the fucking PAINT IT WHITE DVD. Perfectly chaotic, UN ĐĕùX~~

46.  In the Bluebell Woods [England]: In the album cover for this song he’s holding a guitar but this is not a rock song. Still has ‘running through the hills’ levels of dramatism though.

45.  Poi Poi Poi♪ [Taiwan]: You’re telling me that Taiwan, someone whose has *ONE LINE* in Beautiful World (which is criminal tbh what kind of representation-) managed to get an eNTIRE CHARACTER SONG???????

44.  White Flame [Russia]: There’s something to be said for a song that is 3x the length of any Hetalia episode

43.  Ich liebe… [Germany]: Baking cakes for your friends has never been so wholesome.

42.  We Wish you a Merry Christmas [America, China, England, France, Russia]: Nice to see they’ve gotten their shit together since United Nations Sta-hmm.

41.  Ah, Worldwide à la mode [France]: Sounds like a Disney Princess song, hard not to picture France frolicking in a field of flowers.

40.  Che Bello! ~My House is the Greatest!⭐~ [Italy]: Would not be out of place in an advertisement for Sea World.

39.  May You Smile Today [Japan]: THE feel good song of the summer

38.  Let’s Look Behind the Rainbow [Italy]: I will protect you.

37.  I'm your HERO☆ [America]: “Anyone who’s sad or sullen will be arrested” did NOT age well.

36.  Mein Gott! [Prussia]: Alternating headphone effect at the beginning is cool, so is the confidence...the actual singing on the other hand...

35. Nihao⭐China [China]: Listen, all of China’s character songs are great, I just can’t vibe with this one like some of the others.

34.  Pechka ~Light My Heart~ [Russia]: I’m still having difficulty wrapping my head around the fact that this and Winter were released at the same time.

33.  Pukapuka⭐Vacation [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Seems just a bit too much like they’re running on a treadmill that’s picking up speed and trying to sing at the same time. Peppy.

32.  Santa Claus is Coming to Town [Germany, Italy, Japan]: This is unironically the best song sung by this trio; can only vibe with for two months out of the year though.

31.  Excuse Me, I Am Sorry [Japan]: Japan’s character traits speedrun. Gives me barbershop quartet vibes for some reason but is catchy as hell.

30.  The Story of Snow and Dreams [Russia]: A superhero anime opening in the making

29. England’s Evil Demon Summoning Song [England]: Sir that is not how you roast a marshmallow, don’t cut yourself on that edge.

28.  Moi Moi Sauna♪ [Finland]: Exactly the type of song you’d expect and it’s wonderful

27.  United Nations Star⭐ [America, China, England, France, Russia]: This isn’t as much of a song as it is a four minute struggle for everyone to sing without America yelling every 5 seconds...Like a particularly musical episode of Hetalia.

26.  Paris is Indeed Splendid [France]: Paris-pa-pa-pa-paris

25.  Absolutely Invincible British Gentleman [England]: Poppy, rocky, polka-dotty

24.  Vorwärts Marsch! [Germany]: To quote the comment section: “This sounds like a German version of I’ll Make a Man out of you.” There’s some truth to that.

23.  Hamburger Street [America]: The product of America’s rapper phase. 8/10 because he’s trying so hard and because I can unironically sing along to all of this.

22.  Hoi Sam☆Nice Guy [Hong Kong]: A song that would absolutely destroy the ankles of anyone in DDR.

21.  I Am German-Made [Germany]: There was once a version that had Germany and Prussia singing at the same time and it sounded positively demonic and Broadway could never

20.  La pasión no se detiene ~Unstoppable Passion~ [Spain]: Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping...

19.  Fall in Love, Mademoiselle [France]: Sounds like it should be in Mozart Opera Rock, I have kiss kiss falled in love.

18. Embrace the Très Bien Moi [France]: This is the definition of SELF LOVE PEOPLE. 

17. Carrot and Stick [Belarus&Ukraine]: Absolutely DRIPPING in 2000s power ballad energy. The type of song that plays on repeat in the mind of the widow whose millionaire husband ‘mysteriously disappeared’ (and the only legit character song ever acknowledged by the anime)

16. C.B.C (Cowboyz Boot Camp) Vol. 1 [America]: AH MAH GAWWDDD

15. Winter [Russia]: Heavy metal fever dream and the perfect song for an angst-ridden teenager

14.  Seychelles Here ⭐ Vacation Island [Seychelles]: UN👏DER👏RA👏TED SONG👏OF 👏THE 👏SUM👏MER👏

13.  Nah, it will settle itself somehow [Romano]: One day I aspire to reach this level of chill

12.  Let’s Enjoy Today [England]: I will never not feel happy when listening to this.

11.  Einsamkeit [Germany]: Ludwig manages to air every single one of his worries about not being good enough compared to his friends and always being perceived as mean or uptight when he’s actually just a softie and now my heart hurts. 💔

10.  Aiyaa Four Thousand Years [China]: A very poignant and beautiful song about the passage of time and the inevitability of its passing; comparable to an ancient ballad complete with explosive crescendos and meaningful lyrics.

9.  Bon Bon Bon❤️C’est Bon C’est Bon! [France]: Peppy, cheerful, adorable, groundbreaking; has been my alarm tone for six years and I’ve yet to tire of it. 9/10 The moaning interspersed throughout has been an interesting wake-up call.

8.  Let’s Enjoy! Let’s Get Excited! Cheers! [Denmark]: This is on par with Everytime we Touch by Cascada in terms of rage potential unlocked (the good kind)

7.  Dream Journey [Japan]: Whoever’s playing the shakuhachi is absolutely KILLING IT. Dramatic, wonderful, great metaphors.

6.  Gourmet’s Heart Beginner Level [China]: Absolute banger, I’m a vegetarian but this would inspire me to eat shumai.

5.  Always with you...Nordic Five! [Nordic FIVVVVVEEEE]: Everyone harmonizes beautifully except for Denmark. Extremely catchy, number placement seemed appropriate. 

4.  Pub and GO! [England]: I love this trash man

3. Maji Kandou⭐Hong Kong Night [Hong Kong]: If you thought Denmark’s song was a banger JUST YOU WAIT. I WILL BLOW OUT MY SPEAKERS LISTENING TO LO-HA-SU.

2. Steady Rhythmus [Germany]: THIS SONG IS METAL AF. Seriously, if it can be classified as ‘hardcore’ by my father and his group of 50-somethings who have decided to single-handedly gatekeep the metal and hardrock genres, it can do anything.

1.  The Delicious Tomato Song 🍅 [Romano]: Beautiful, absolutely awe-inspiring, poignant, catchy lyrics with an extremely deep meaning that only years of meticulous research and analysis can unlock, Romano I love you.

BONUS: Closing Songs

5. Hatafutte Parade (World Series) 

4. Hetalian⭐Jet (The World Twinkle): The song is good, the dancing is cursed 

3. Chikyuu Marugoto Hug Shitainda (World⭐Stars)

2. Marukaite Chikyuu (Hetalia: Axis Powers): nE NE PaPA

1. Mawaru Chikyuu Rondo (The Beautiful World)

[liamhaydn-blog]

Joshua & Fury: reading of the resumes.

You can’t read any discussion about Anthony Joshua for long without seeing reference to his resume. The resume is usually brought up as the first line of defence to any criticism slung his way, and is perhaps the only line of attack that is still being used by AJ fans as to why their man still deserves more credit and praise than Tyson Fury. 

The resume line is used by noone more than Eddie Hearn, who mentions it before every fight, after every fight, win or lose. The names by now reel off his tongue, and near everyone from what I have seen is in complete agreement that AJ has put together one hell of a record. 

This has always somewhat baffled me, and I will explore why here. First of all since April 2016, every fight he’s had has been a World title fight. His last 8 fights have been for 3 organisation’s belts. When you are the champion of those 3 organisations, you will have to fight decent fighters, to justify you holding onto so many belts. Also these organisations want you to face their mandatory challenger now and then, the chances are someone ranked #1 will be a pretty good fighter. Does a unified World Heavyweight champion really deserve so much credit for fighting fairly solid opponents?

Comparison is often made to Wilder’s defences for example, and for sure it does seem that Wilder is a bit of a flat track bully, who didn’t seem to particularly mind some easy knockouts over less than stellar opposition. Though it still remains hard to fairly compare his level of opponents to Joshua’s. Joshua gets bigger crowds than anyone in world boxing, he’s for years now sold out big stadiums in a matter of hours, he’s simply one of the biggest stars in boxing with huge PPV numbers. This to say, they can afford to pay opponents big money. The big money that is required for a credible opponent. I don’t think that has always been the case for Wilder, who himself was not getting anything like big money until having been World Champion for a while, let alone his opponent. 

This is not to completely excuse Wilder, the fact an agreement was never reached to fight Dillian Whyte in all the time he was mandatory challenger, its quite bizarre to me why Wilder seemingly did not ever fancy that fight. And I do think that unlike Wilder, AJ has and always will be willing to face anyone, be it Wilder, Fury, I don’t think him a coward or someone who would doubt himself enough to not fancy them fights. 

The reason for the AJ-Wilder fight never materialising whilst both were champion, I don’t believe was down to AJ himself, though I believe its possible his team and promoter wanted to keep him away from Wilder for a little longer, to further build up his experience. But for Wilder’s part, I never got the impression he was particularly falling over himself to get the fight either.

I digress, but the point is that though I believe AJ has been more up for a challenge and a real fight than Wilder has, it’s not quite as simple as just looking at who their opponents have been for defences and not including the context.    

The most common comparison presumably in the whole of boxing is AJ’s resume against Tyson Fury’s. As stated earlier, this is often something used by AJ fans, and Fury’s resume is the one main critique levelled against him by virtually everyone who wishes to put him down. 

Again, it often seems a little without context. A man who has defended or attempted to defend his world title 9 times is always likely to have fought more decent fighters than someone who has never defended before, that seems obvious. Fury is mocked for never having attempted a World title defence, (aside from the fact its not really his fault from a boxing standpoint that he was unable to defend his belt for 2 years due to being side-lined from the ring for medical issues, nor was it his fault he was robbed by judges in Los Angeles in his first fight with Wilder, therefore delaying his ability to make a first defence) and yet also mocked for a supposedly weak resume, when the two things kind of go together as one rather explains the other. Your resume is unlikely to be great without a world title defence.

Looking at Fury’s resume, his best opponent prior to fighting for the World title was Chisora. Now the fact is, this was already not a great time for Heavyweight boxing, swathes of very average Heavyweights were getting the chance to lose to the Klitschko’s, so it shouldn’t be too surprising Fury didn’t have to fight off many stern challenges to become the top contender. One challenge could have been former Cruiserweight and Heavyweight World Champion David Haye, again not really Fury’s fault Haye pulled out of the fight twice. One man he did face though was Chisora, who in their first fight was 14-0 and 27 years old. The 22-year old Fury went into the fight as the underdog. They fought again 3 years later, inbetween these bouts Chisora became one of only 4 men to lose to Vitali Klitschko without being stopped. 

Chisora is regarded as a journeyman for the 11 losses on his record, but the fact is nobody has ever had an easy night with him, barring Fury in their rematch. Chisora arguably won a very close first fight with Whyte, and was having another very close fight with him in the rematch before Whyte found a great knockout in the 11th, Usyk did not shine against him in the same way he did against Bellew and Joshua, and he was very unlucky to not win a decision against former World Champion Joseph Parker. Not bad for a journeyman. But Fury certainly made him look like a journeyman in their second fight, showing exactly how a big man should fight against a little man, he didn’t let Chisora lay a glove on him and beat him up all night until Chisora’s trainer finally took mercy on him and pulled him out after 10 brutally one-sided rounds. 

The next ‘name’ on Tyson’s resume is Wladimir Klitschko, who was on a run of 19 successful wins in World title fights, and hadn’t lost for 11 years. On the Champions adopted home patch of Germany, Fury won a unanimous decision infront of 50,000 Klitschko supporters, to give the Ukrainian his only defeat by decision in 69 fights. Not a bad win I suppose. 

Often used to mock Fury’s resume is the name ‘Sefer Seferi’ and yes the fight was a joke and a bit of a waste of time, but it was Fury’s first fight for 2 and a half years, yes he could have fought someone a bit better ofcourse, but I don’t think it would have been wise to fight anyone fans would consider a decent fighter on his very first step on the comeback trail. 2 months later was Pianeta, again I don’t think it’s that surprising that when you’re fighting for the second time in 3 months after a long absence, and your plan is to fight for the World title less than 4 months later, that the level of opponent you’re facing is not that high, that seems to be fairly logical. I think facing Deontay Wilder for the WBC title just 6 months into the comeback made up for it in fairness. 

Going into their first fight, Wilder had faced 40 men and knocked them all out. It’s fashionable now after the beating Fury gave him in the rematch to dismiss Wilder as a bum, a never-was. But it’s simply not true. He’s 6 foot 7, incredibly heavy-handed with one of the most concussive punches in Heavyweight history. Fury fought him in his prime after the best win of Wilder’s career, an 8 round stoppage of Luis Ortiz, who at the time was for sure a worthy contender. Fury himself was 6 months back after a 2 and a half year absence, mostly spent trying to damage his body to the same extent his mind was damaged. After outboxing him for 9 rounds, Fury picked himself off the canvas to box his head off some more, until in the 12th round Wilder landed one of the hardest and best 2-punch combos he’s ever thrown. One of the only true knockout punches ever landed to somehow not result in a knockout. Fury won the fight but as we know was robbed and given a draw.

Between this fight and the rematch, Fury is again mocked for the two names he fought inbetween. Tom Schwarz and Otto Wallin. First of all it was kinda strange why these 2 fights were even necessary and they didn’t just do an immediate rematch, or even 1 fight inbetween, 2 seemed excessive. But financially it worked out great for both men, Wilder who was able to cash in for 2 more fights as Champion, and for Fury he could get into a run of real activity which helped him immensely for the rematch with Wilder. Schwarz was rolled over as expected, but Wallin inflicted 2 huge cuts on Tyson which left him fighting nearly the whole fight with only 1 eye, still winning nearly every round. Which is surely quite impressive, given Wallin is now deemed by Hearn a highly credible opponent for Whyte, one of the division’s top fighters. 

In the Wilder rematch, Fury produced what was I think the best performance by a Heavyweight this century. He did what noone thought he could do, which was bully the bully, beating him with power not just cunning. As I said, now Fury has done it so easily, people will talk about how Wilder was rubbish all along, never beat anyone etc. but if anyone thinks AJ or Whyte or anyone else would just as easily stand up to Wilder’s power, speed and explosiveness, I think they are very mistaken. Whether Wilder will be the same fighter with his air of invincibility shattered after defeat remains to be seen, but it would be great to see him in the ring against Britain’s other top fighters. My prediction is, it would see Fury’s win and performance elevated even further. 

Fury now faces Wilder for a third time, and whilst I like most consider it a shame Fury wasn’t able to move onto new challenges, if he wins, it’s another excellent win. I don’t consider it any easier than a fight against AJ would be. It’s true that AJ is a better boxer than Wilder, but still vastly inferior to Tyson, so I don’t see how he provides much greater threat from a boxing standpoint, he’s not going to outbox Fury in a million years. So the only threat to Tyson posed is power, Wilder has a higher KO % than AJ despite fighting nearly 20 more times, lets his hands go more, hits harder, is more dangerous with a single shot than AJ, so therefore I feel the most dangerous fighter to Fury, as he himself has said many times, remains *to this day* Deontay Wilder. 

Now to really the point of the article, Joshua’s resume. After amassing 14 knockouts in 14 fights, all coming in the 3rd round or sooner, the Olympic Gold Medallist had become Britain’s most talked about and hyped prospect ever. His 15th opponent was Dillian Whyte, a 16-0 fighter with 13KO’s. Whyte has since gone on to garner a deserved reputation as one of the division’s toughest and respectable fighters, but that’s now. Going into when AJ actually fought him, he had faced absolutely nobody. He had 6 amateur bouts including a win over AJ, moved to kickboxing, came back to boxing and had 9 pro fights before being banned for drugs. Whyte was out the ring for 2 years, had 5 fights back then fought Joshua. 

So at the time of the fight there is no doubt that whilst AJ was seen as a future World Champion, Whyte was not seen as anything of the sort, just an ‘opponent’ there for AJ to get another fast and emphatic knockout. The emphatic knockout came but not before experiencing adversity for the first time, as in fight number 15 of his career AJ faced someone who could take his leather and land some of his own, before succumbing in the 7th. Despite the rawness of Whyte, he still had enough heart and talent to provide Anthony with his first career test. 

Next fight, AJ fought for the World title, facing what most regard as a terrible World Champion, Charles Martin. He may have walked this earth like a God, but he fought in the ring like a Big Bum Dosser, against AJ anyway, who took him apart in 2 rounds. Martin appeared for all the world like a man woefully out of his depth, dutifully accepting his beating for a good payday. A win over Gerald Washington has since seen an attempt at the rehabilitation of Martin’s image from Eddie Hearn no less, who now lists the conquest of this man as proof of AJ’s greatness, who next Gary Cornish? 

AJ made his first World title defence of his IBF crown against Dominic Breazeale, who was at the time ranked #13 with the organisation. Joshua won in the 7th round. His second defence was against Eric Molina, who AJ dispached in 3 rounds. Another 2 men recently listed by Hearn to demonstrate AJ’s strong resume. In the same interview, he criticised Wilder for having beat noone..except he’s also knocked out both Breazeale (in 43 seconds) & Molina. A decision win over Breazeale was also enough to show Hearn that Wallin was a worthy PPV  opponent for Whyte, so are they good wins or not? I’m not sure, I guess it depends on who we’re talking about, AJ or Wilder. 

Next up saw AJ transition into a UK stadium fighter when he met Wladimir Klitschko at Wembley Stadium to attempt to add more belts to his collection that had recently been vacated by Fury. Having been soundly beaten by The Gypsy King, Klitschko had gone from 39 to 41. The feeling for a lot in the UK at the time was, it’s a good time to beat a good name to earn some credibility against an old, past it champion. That looked to be the case when AJ dropped Wlad in the 5th but there was still some life in the old dog yet when the very next round AJ hit the canvas for the first time in his career. Wlad took control of the fight with AJ struggling for a second wind having used up a lot of energy, with stamina issues affecting the 250-pounder. There was a few rounds where AJ was too tired, not throwing, concentrating everything on trying to recuperate, that you’d think Klitschko could have stepped it up and gone for the finish.  Whether age stopped Klitschko from pushing on the gas or he felt confident he could see out a decision, he didn’t do it and AJ found the best punch and single moment of his career in the 11th with a huge uppercut which signalled the end of Wlad’s chances. It was a great fight which AJ did very well to win, but it had been by the skin of his teeth. 

After Pulev pulled out of their proposed fight, Carlos Takam stepped in as a late replacement. Given the lack of time, this wasn’t a terrible replacement, he is tough and comes to fight, ensuring the fans will atleast get to see a few rounds. But he has lost to every name fighter he’s faced, including Journeyman Chisora. So Chisora isn’t a good name on Fury’s record, because he loses to every good fighter he faces, but Takam is a solid name on AJ’s record, despite the fact he was knocked out by Chisora. It’s all very confusing. 

To hold 4 belts, AJ then faced Joseph Parker, the holder of the WBO title, winning the vacant belt with a home decision against some chubby kid, Andy Ruiz. At the time, Parker had a very good reputation, but the fight was a stinker, with AJ disappointing his legion of fans as he was taken the distance for the first time. Parker has since lost to Whyte and in my opinion deserved a draw at best with Chisora having been dropped in the first round, and now will have to fight a rematch for a more emphatic win. Since the AJ fight, he’s looked a fairly average heavyweight, seemingly quite lucky to have ever held the World title, having not done anything since to make anyone believe he could ever hold it again. 

The next defence came against the small and light for a heavyweight 39-year old Alex Povetkin. Looking at him, not much of a threat would perhaps be expected to a man of AJ’s size and stature but for 6 rounds he gave Joshua a very competitive fight until the fight was ended by the Champion’s power in the 7th. Povetkin had gone the distance with Wladimir Klitschko despite being dropped four times, and probably deserved a second shot at the world title sooner than 5 years after that. The 39-year old was still a credible challenger but with his best years behind him. 

Then on June 1 2019, came the infamous AJ US debut. After a fight with Big Baby Miller collapsed due to his drug use, in stepped Andy Ruiz, who had a similarly large belly but 4 inches less in height than Miller. It was obvious what would happen next, AJ would announce himself to US audiences with a quick knockout. Ruiz hit the canvas for the first time in his career in round 3. AJ, one of the best finishers in the sport, jumped on him. What happens next usually, is roared on by tens of thousands of Brits, AJ punches and punches until his opponent goes down and stays there. This time infront of an audience of stunned Americans, Ruiz comes off the floor to land a shot to AJ’s temple which changes the course of the fight and both men’s destinies. Ruiz puts AJ down and the champion never recovers, unable to regain authority or control in the fight, he is victim to Ruiz’s barrages and decides not to fight on in the 7th, recognising after being dropped yet again, that it’s not going to be his night. 

After losing the Brawl In Montreal, Sugar Ray Leonard knew he had to get his conqueror Roberto Duran back in the ring as quickly as possible, whilst he was out partying, piling on the pounds and not training. AJ applied the same thinking, and like Leonard in the ‘No Mas’ fight took on a completely new approach for the rematch. Andy Ruiz has very fast hands, its not wise to trade with him up close. He does not however, have fast feet or particularly long arms. AJ maintained his discipline in the rematch to comfortably outbox Ruiz for 12 rounds, boxing from distance, never tempted to go for the knockout. Ruiz weighed in at an enormous 284 pounds, 16 pounds heavier than before. 

Performance and result wise, the Ruiz rematch in Saudi Arabia is perhaps the most impressive of AJ’s career to date. The 32-year old Ruiz still has to prove however, if he is truly a top class fighter, or whether he just produced the performance of a lifetime and got AJ on the right night. If AJ had beaten Ruiz first time round it would not have been seen as a particularly significant triumph, but due to the credibility he only gained as a result of beating AJ, this conversely amplified the achievement of Joshua gaining revenge in the rematch. 

Joshua’s first defence of his second reign came against Kubrat Pulev after just over a year out the ring. Like Povetkin, Pulev was approaching 40, had fought for the world title whilst a younger man and lost to Wlad Klitschko (Pulev being stopped in 5), he was also quite a short and light man in comparison to the giant figure of Joshua. With only 14KO wins in 29 fights, Pulev looked the ideal opponent for AJ. He was durable and well conditioned, and came to win but he stood right infront of AJ, with no head movement, so AJ moved his head for him with brutal uppercuts. If you stand infront of Joshua and don’t have much of a punch or speed to threaten him with, he looks brilliant and he did at times on this night, despite even against this opponent being reluctant to fully commit to power combo’s, the memory of Ruiz at MSG clearly not yet banished, but the win came in the 9th round, AJ’s first stoppage win for over 2 years. 

AJ’s second reign as champion was alot shorter than his first, defeat coming in his second defence against former Cruiserweight king Oleksandr Usyk. Usyk had come under vast criticism it shouldn’t be forgotten for his first 2 performances at Heavyweight. Many people, though I personally don’t agree, thought that his fight with Chisora was very close, he certainly wasn’t sending fear into the hearts of the division. But Usyk has only failed to win 15 fights out of over 360 amateur and pro for a reason, and he thoroughly outclassed Joshua. The fight would have been hard enough, and not a guaranteed win even if Joshua hadn’t got his tactics so completely wrong, but he atleast would have been in with a chance. Usyk, thought to be too small for a heavyweight, didn’t look small in with one of the divisions giants, because he didn’t fight like a small man, he didn’t allow Joshua to feel physically superior, and showed no fear or respect for his power. 

I won’t be suprised atall if Joshua rights his wrongs in the second fight, by doing what he obviously should have done in the first fight. Being rough and nasty, throwing as the saying goes, with bad intentions. But why it takes a 2-time World Champion with his experience a second fight to realise this I have no idea. Having a “chess match” fight with Usyk is maybe something you do in sparring to learn some useful things, you don’t do it infront of 70 thousand with your belts actually on the line..It was one of the most incredibly naive things I have seen from an experienced champion. It struck of a man in a bit of an identity crisis, who can’t decide what type of fighter he is inside the ring, nor what his boxing persona is outside it, in the lead-up to fights.

As another mistake AJ seemed to repeat from the first Ruiz fight was he seemed all pally with Usyk and too relaxed in the build-up. It could just be a coincedence but he was nice and pissed off with Pulev before getting in the ring with him, and he produced the right performance. I know Usyk is a difficult guy to dislike, but he’s gonna have to try. 

Strangely, Hearn also listed Usyk on AJ’s resume. I don’t see much good of having good names on your resume if you lose to them, otherwise we may aswell declare Kevin Johnson a great, as he’s fought everyone (and lost to everyone, but I guess that doesn’t matter). If AJ wins the rematch, he deserves credit for it, as it would for me be the best win of his career, given the age of Klitschko and Joshua’s personal circumstances of 2 defeats in his last 4. But I don’t really get this thing of “give AJ credit for taking the fight”. Its the mandatory challenger for one of his belts, he has to fight him, or else give up that belt. Why would you become world champion just to give a belt up because you have to face someone good? talk about giving credit for the bare minimum.

This questioning of AJ’s resume, is not to criticise him personally. I have no doubt before he retires he would if up to him fight Wilder, Fury, whoever else who is up there at the time, and if he does so he will lose plenty more times, because his chin and tactics are not of the standard of some of the other guys, but he will lose and come back and keep trying, and I respect that. But in conclusion I think up to this point, with no Fury or Wilder under his W column, he is getting a lot of credit for wins against guys who when listed as a collective are fairly solid names, but when taken individually, are not so great. Whilst Fury’s list has less solid names, there are names who can be taken individually and are great standalone wins. 

The way I would describe it is would you rather take a couple of 10′s to bed, but not many 6,7 or 8′s? or would you rather take a few 6,7 or 8′s but never a 10. I know which I would prefer. 

[minghaocouture]

Fearless: Chapter 14 + Epilogue

Pairing: Werewolf! Jeon Wonwoo x Vampire! Reader Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Non-Idol AU WC: 2.5k+ Warning: Language, Mentions of blood, mentions of wounds, implied smut AU Lore: Vampire Coven Info/Wolf Pack Info/Lore Info Tag List: @moon-asia @uglychildd @skjdln @darkacrimson @woozisnoots @hwangjangmi @rjsmochii @fluffyhyeju​ @svtjuniverse @karmacqre​ @dwcljh​ @taeyeon-got-shmoney​ @2dmoonenback​ @moonchild9499​

Unable to tag: @Unbaeknownst @peachescherryheart A/N: So first off, don’t judge that Wonwoo edit too harshly lol, it’s my first attempt at editing and with 0 knowledge of what i’m doing >.> also I honestly can’t believe this is the last chapter. I was going to make a last chapter and then an epilogue but it fit well at the end of this chap so I just made them into one <3. Thank you guys so much for supporting me and reading this story!  

Chapter List: Chapter 1/Chapter 2/Chapter 3/Chapter 4/Chapter 5/Chapter 6/Chapter 7/Chapter 8/Chapter 9/Chapter 10/Chapter 11/Chapter 12/Chapter 13/Chapter 14

You weren’t sure how long you had been in this room. All you knew was that you were tired and hungry. Never before had the thirst been this strong, the feeling almost completely consumed your mind and you weren’t sure if it would ever go away. Cohesive thoughts seemed to escape you as your eyes stared out into the darkness of the room.

You were vaguely aware that you had been brought to the basement and that someone, you weren’t sure who, kept bringing you blood to drink, but everything else was a blur. The only thing you could recall was the limp form of Wonwoo on the ground and the feeling of the frenzy taking over you, a feeling that you couldn’t seem to shake. Being left completely in the dark about his status definitely wasn’t helping, for all you know...he did actually die that night. Yet you couldn’t even ask about him, the feeling of the frenzy seemed to always come back full force whenever someone else entered your room.

The sound of the heavy wooden door creaking open caught your attention, goosebumps pricking up on your flesh as you smelled the strong scent of fresh blood and felt a fresh wave of frenzy rush over you. It wasn’t different from when you were brought something to feed on, the blood this time smelt fresh as if it had just been spilt. The inability to control your actions, the pure primal instinct to feed or fight was all that you knew in that moment. You were on your feet in a second, dashing towards the new comer, and shoving them to the ground before they could even really enter the room. Your arms caging their head as you leaned down and attached your lips to their neck. There was no hesitation as you sunk your fangs into the supple skin and began to drink your fill.

Surprisingly there was no resistance from this new person, they didn’t try to push you away and their aura didn’t exude fear as they usually would. In fact, you felt an arm weakly wrap around your waist as you drained them of their precious blood. The feeling made you feel warm, and it was oddly familiar but you couldn’t quite put a finger on what it could be. 

“Well, that wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for, but they said you’d been really hungry.” The voice was familiar, but in your frenzy clouded mind it was so hard to think. Nothing stuck, not names, not faces, not voices. All you knew was food. The stranger let out a strangled chuckle, his hand rubbing gentle circles on the small of your back as he held you close. It was almost as if he was just...letting you drink your fill, letting you drain him as much as you needed without any kind of resistance.

As the fresh blood filled your system, it was almost as if your brain had been reset and everything was much too strong and too familiar now. Everything seemed to finally click once more as you came to your senses. Carefully yet quickly removing your fangs from your victim, you pushed yourself away just enough to be able to see his face.

He looked ragged, a large patch of gauze was carefully attached to the left side of his face and his hair was cut rather unevenly, most likely to make sure the wound of his face healed properly. His skin was almost an unhealthy clammy color and you were certain that you draining his blood had not helped him. He seemed to notice the look of recognition in your eyes and a small smile graced his face. Just from that one look the fog of your frenzy had completely vanished, as if it had never been there to begin with, and everything seemed to hit you all at once.

“Feeling better now?” 

Unable to find your voice for a moment, you simply dropped yourself back down and wrapped your arms around him as best you could from this position. You heard a small wince from below you as you buried your face into his neck once more, only this time it wasn’t so that you could feed. 

“You ass.” you muttered, doing your best to not accidentally hurt him again. “If you ever pull anything like that again, I’ll kill you myself you hear me.” 

“Of course, can’t die to any hands but yours. But…” the arm around your waist gripped you ever so tightly. “I would appreciate it if you got off...or I might actually end up dying today.”

With a speed you felt was quick even for a Vampire, you were off of him and helping him up and into the room you had previously been in. Laying him down on one of the leather couches before quickly turning on the lights, wincing yourself this time as the light blinded you for a moment. It was now that you noticed the blood that had seeped through his shirt, right where his bullet wound had been.

“You actual idiot!” You exclaimed, searching around for the first aid kits that are kept in each of the feeding rooms. You would think in a room as minimalistic as this one, it would be easy to find. “What were you thinking coming here while you were still injured! Sure, werewolf blood is disgusting but that doesn’t mean that you won’t get attacked!”

“You sure…” you heard a small grunt, glancing over your shoulder you noticed him attempting to sit up as he spoke. “You sure didn’t mind my ‘disgusting werewolf blood’ a minute ago.” 

You almost completely froze in your search as you realized, he was right. It wasn’t normal for the blood of a werewolf to taste as good as if it were a human’s blood. You vaguely wondered if that had to do with you...being his mate. There were a lot of questions to ask later, right now, making sure he survived the night was more of a priority. 

That thought was enough to get you moving again, finally locating the first aid kit and rushing over to take care of the freshly opened wound. Grabbing his shoulder, you pushed him to lay back down as you slowly lifted his shirt up so that you could get to the wound. 

“Did you actually just wake up and come straight here? Cause that would be stupid” Your tone was a bit harsh and contrasted with the gentle touch of your hands against his skin and you did your best to care for him. “Were you actually trying to get yourself killed, or something?” 

“I mean, that’s pretty much what I did.” He explained, chuckling lightly as he thought about how much trouble he was going to be in once it was discovered that he was missing. “I was worried about you.”

His words caused you to tense, eyes focusing in on properly rebandaging his abdomen. It felt like a stone had sunk into your gut as you worked, thankfully he wasn’t bleeding to harshly but it was still enough to cause you to worry.

“Save some of that worry for yourself. I’m not the one currently bleeding out on a couch.” You retorted quickly, doing your best to ignore the piercing gaze of his eyes as they followed you. After carefully taping off the bandages, you began to pull away to clean up a bit, only to be stopped by his hand gently wrapping around your wrist.

Taking a small breath to steady yourself, you finally lifted your gaze and connected eyes with the injured male. You hated how it seemed like he could see through you, like you were just an open book before him. You hated it, but it also made you feel oddly calm. It was just the effect he seemed to have on you.

“I’d rather be bleeding out here with you, than at home with Mingyu.” The tone his voice carried was an amused one, obviously joking, but kept enough weight for you to understand that his words held some truth to them.

“You shouldn’t want to bleed out at all.” You couldn’t find it in you to pull away from him, your wrist practically on fire where he touched. The same fire that you always felt with the two of you touched. It made you almost feel like you were a regular human. It made you think back to the conversation the two of you had right before the battle, about being mates. You hadn’t really gotten the chance to think too hard on the subject, but after seeing him injured. You knew that you didn’t want to see him like that again. So after a moment of silence between the two of you, you let out a small sigh.

“I want...ugh fuck...” the exclamation left your lips with a sense of irritation, you weren’t used to expressing yourself so openly. This was going to be much harder to admit

“I don’t think I can do that right now, if I’m being honest.” Taken off guard by the sudden humor from the male, you quickly pulled your wrist away. You knew that if you were human that your cheeks would be heating up with the tell tale signs of a blush and you were fairly certain Wonwoo was aware of that as well, if his light laugh was anything to go by.

“Hey, I’m sorry. Keep going.” he urged. You could tell he was trying to hold back his laughter not just so you would continue but so that he wouldn’t reopen his wound once more. 

Keeping your back to him, you crossed your arms over your chest and swallowed, hopefully swallowing your pride during the action so that you could continue with what you had been attempting to say. Your mouth felt dry and despite just having fed from Wonwoo, you felt impossibly hungry once again. 

“I want to try this mate thing.” You refused to turn around and face him, but you kept your voice firm to show that you weren’t wavering on your decision. “I can’t say I love you, but I know I care about you. Seeing you...like that made every part of me hurt, and being away from you, well it sucked okay. Especially since I wasn’t sure if you were even alive or not.” Trying to recall that night, all you remembered was being pulled away from him so that his pack could get him medical attention and then...everything was blank after that. You could recall screams, and being restrained, and then feeding but nothing was solid. You weren’t even sure of how long it had been.

“Well I am,” You heard his voice break through your rapid thoughts, bringing you back to the moment and out of the memories of that night. Just the sound of his voice seemed to be like a life preserver that you could hold onto, to keep you above the waters of your frenzy that had held a grip over you. “I’m alive, not perfectly fine yet. But I’m not dead and I’m not going to die anytime soon.” 

His words brought a comfort to your soul that you hadn’t been aware that you could feel, and a soft smile slid onto your face.

“Good, you better not. You’re not allowed to die until you look like your actual age.” You teased, finally turning back around to face him. You decided to push aside the darker thoughts that threatened to creep into your head. Letting yourself live in the moment, you had time. Not just to get to know Wonwoo but to possibly listen to the voice inside your head that was telling you that you couldn’t live without him anymore, and you were inclined to believe it. Not just because of the whole ‘mate’ thing, but because of how he had changed your life more in just a week than you had been able to change in almost a century. He was someone you wanted in your life now, and that was something you knew you had decided without the effects of the mate pull.

Taking a small bit of initiative, you bent down and gently pressed a kiss to the unbandaged side of his forehead. 

“Get some rest Wonwoo.”

“Stay with me?”

***

November 7th, 2021

“Geez guys can’t you lock the door or something!!” 

As the door slammed shut, you couldn’t stop yourself from letting out a loud awkward laugh. 

“I promise I locked it.” Wonwoo muttered, his face flushed red with embarrassment as being caught in the act by his roommate. Unfortunately neither of you had a really private place to spend time together, so this wasn’t the first time that this had happened. 

“Sure whatever you say wolf boy, I think you forgot again and just don’t wanna admit it,” You muttered, leaning down and pressing your lips firmly against his. Reveling in the feeling, kissing Wonwoo made you feel like you were floating. All of your nerve endings seemed to be set aflame when your lips met, which was probably why the two of you had been caught so many times. You just got so...lost in each other. 

Pulling away you examined his face, the marred flesh around his left eye made him look reminiscent of a character in an old cartoon you had watched. His now heterochromic eyes watched you as you stared down at him, lifting a hand to gently press against the permanent scar left over from the incident at the beginning of the year. Not only was the scar a permanent reminder of what had almost happened, but his eyesight as well. Sure it hadn’t been smooth sailing since then but...you were grateful that he hadn’t gotten put in danger like that again. 

“You’re staring again.” He muttered, his hand gently wrapped around the back of your neck before pulling you down into another kiss. It was his…’punishment’ for you, anytime he caught you staring for too long. It wasn’t much of a punishment but you sure weren’t going to tell him that. You loved his kisses. Honestly, you loved him but you decided it would be better to keep that information to yourself a little bit longer. You tried to pretend it was because you didn’t want to move too fast because of the Mate bond or whatever, but really you were still trying to get used to being vulnerable with others. It was something you struggled with, but Wonwoo knew this and was patient with you. He let you do things at your own pace. 

Gently pulling away again, you rested your forehead against his own with a soft smile on your lips.

“God, I love you.” his voice so soft that for a moment you thought you had imagined it. You felt your stomach clench slightly, the tell tale apprehension settling in once again. Letting his words settle in the air, you felt his hand gently caress your neck. “You don’t have to say it too. But I do, I love you.”

You may not have been ready to say the words out loud, but you hoped that he understood that you returned the feelings. You pushed those emotions into every kiss, every embrace. He was your and you were his. It was a relationship that you hadn’t been expecting but it was one that you never wanted to lose. 

[alwaysanotherrainbow]

my boyfriend never texts first

Remus just wants to not be the first one to send a message every once in a while. That’s not too much to ask, right?

relationship: romantic remrom, background remy and emile (also romantic)

warnings: major character death, extended mourning (secondary warnings- brief discussion of religious holidays, brief underage drinking mention, a lot of all-caps) notes: unrelated, human, hs/college au. virgil, emile, and remy are here too. If you need anything in the secondary warnings (or one of those latter three characters) edited out, please let me know and I can put that up for you!

____________________________________________________

Remus always texted him first. Always. It didn’t matter the situation, didn’t matter the time date place name face. Who what when where why. It first started when he texted hi roman :) when they first got phones; for whatever reason, Roman just never texted first. Either he’d call or they’d talk in person.

No matter. Remus could cope.

May 1:

8:37 PM tody i saw you by my locker 8:39 PM *today 8:42 PM why didnt you say hi?

May 2:

9:30 PM a teacher talked to me today 9:30 PM wanted to talk about how i’m doing after 9:52 PM well you know. he’s a sick bastard

Really, it wasn’t too much to ask for, was it? He just wanted to see him text first once in a while! May 7:

3:32 PM: by the way idk if you got this last time 3:36 PM: my class ring size is the medium 3:44 PM: hopefully you order it by the deadline :P 4:03 PM: no idea when the deadline is 4:20 PM: bLAZE IT 4:24 PM: sorry i have like 0 money so i got it from the consignment shop 4:31 PM: i hope you like synthetic rubies!! leaving them with ur dad 10:40 PM: update. i cried for four hours with your dad.

June 2:

7:30 AM: gRaDuAtIoN dAy!!! 7:32 AM: there’s cookies in the reception menu 7:35 AM: snickerdoodles your favorite [eyes] 10:02 AM: i’m getting some for u 10:05 AM: [kissy face] 7:40 PM: the announcement was Weird 7:43 PM: anyways i have the snickerdoodles (Remus couldn’t go over to where Roman was staying, so he left them in the living room. He knew Roman would appreciate them. Hopefully he’d come over (wait, probably not, given...))

Well, actually, he could understand why he never texted first. June 11:

12:14 PM: roMAN 12:16 PM: [Attachment: Remus_Picani-Kleitman_Acceptance_Letter.pdf] 12:18 PM: YEAHHHH 12:24 PM: I’m sure you got in too SEND ME YOURS WHEN YOU GET IT 12:32 PM: WE MIGHT SHARE A ROOM YEA 12:35 PM: [Attachment: celebration.jpg]

Everyone was probably saying that he ought to just move on, but to be honest, he couldn’t... Actually, to be honest, no-one had told him to move on to his face yet. In fact, everyone was surprised he was doing so well, given how bad the circumstances were! The situation was stressing him out so much, even his dads were gently advising him to rethink things. (Well, that was part of the territory with one of them being a therapist and the other being a barista.)

“I got y’all some kouign-amann from the cafe,” said Dad, putting it down on the counter. His shirt had SLEEP scrawled on it with a Sharpie; it was the one that Remus had made for him as a joke. He still wore it. Huh.

“Sweetie, what’s a queen amahn?” asked Papa.

“It’s a... er, it’s like a... this is kinda like a croissant that had dreams of a muffin tin and salted caramel. One for you, babe.... then one for Doodlebug-”

“Can I leave some for Roman?” asked Remus.

They exchanged a glance.

“Of course you can,” said Papa with a smile. “Your candle’s on the table. Also, I got the news about being accepted into university? Good job, kiddo. You know, that was your father’s alma mater.”

“Are you sure you want to go to school right away after...? No problem taking a gap year.”

Papa glared at Dad. “Be nice.”

“I’m sorry, Remus, it’s just...” Dad put down his coffee. “If you’re not ready, if you need more time-”

"I’m sure,” said Remus with a grin, trying to get rid of what he just remembered. “Trust me.”

“Please find a good way to put away the snickerdoodles, they’ve been there since last week!” shouted Papa.

June 12:

12:12 AM: its twelve twelve make a wish 12:15 AM: hey when does your phone bill go out? 12:20 AM: im just saying that would Explain some things 12:22 AM: i know your dad pays Everything like a year in advance 12:34 AM: tell him i say hi 12:34 AM: 12:34 MAKE A WISH

July 12:

3:30 PM: guess who’s a double major in bio and theatre!! 3:32 PM: marine biology babey 3:53 PM: it’s good for the SOUL 4:04 PM: this cute octopus reminded me of you by the way 4:10 PM: [Attachment: for_roman]

August 14:

6:24 PM: moving in is the Worst 6:32 PM: by the way i got a single 6:35 PM: no roommates 6:41 PM: still have the bunk tho 6:44 PM: also got ur favorite pillo

August 30:

2:12 AM: roman it is like two o’clock in the morning what the Heck are you doing here, 2:15 AM: if u see me wave Hi 2:32 AM: ok >:c 2:42 AM: dont mind Me just studyin on top of the planetarium 3:15 AM: tbh i didn’t even know we go to the same campus? haven’t seen you around or anything 3:17 AM: shit phones gonna di

September 28:

2:20 PM: i failed my test 2:22 PM: idk what to d 2:24 PM: *do

September 29: 7:30 PM: remember that octopus you gave me that eats negative emotions? 7:32 PM: it works!!

October 3:

1:10 PM:  You’d like the theatre program, really 1:15 PM: just so u know they’ve listed your name as an ‘honorary member of the class of’ 1:19 PM: that’s really nice of them. idk if your dad knows

October 23:

9:45 AM: i had to explain one of our inside jokes 8( 9:52 AM: i can’t Explain the deodorant thing that was One Time 9:55 AM: also why i’m called The Duke 9:56 AM: its bc you said it. not my fault 9:58 AM: its still cute pls call me that still 9:59 AM: pancake brunch pancake brunch pancake brunch October 31: 6:12 PM: sun’s down! joyous samhain 6:15 PM: i remember when you sewed me that octopus btw, the one that eats ucky feelings 6:19 PM: how long did it take you to get the laurel sachet into it?? 6:34 PM: also thank you thank you thank you for helping me find a friendly church to celebrate all saints day 6:47 PM: that year was a NIGHTMARE because you forgot to get your white candles and carnelian, and i forgot my holy water, so we were driving around town like Madmen 6:59 PM: it was worth it though 7:03 PM: i left you a script, i think you’ll like it.

November 9:

11:19 PM: i miss you so so much.

November 10:

12:20 AM: ignor this i drank like 12:24 AM: a lot 1:15 AM: i’m sorry i should’ve been with you 1:22 AM: i shouldve been there With You. 1:45 AM: but i wasn’t 2:20 AM: i didn’t know thered be a 4:11 PM: shit i just saw these. Sorry to bother you December 2:

10:10 AM: hey roman, been a bit. yea sorry about last time. too much of the Alcohol 10:13 AM: gonna go over to my parents’ house 1:00 PM: if you wanna come over, you can. dad’s making snickerdoodles and papa’s gonna watch atla (yes i still have that dvd you got me do not @ me it’s with your candles on your table just like everything else) 1:03 PM: that was on the dot, i’m happy.

December 21

8:34 AM: hey, it’s snowing 9:13 AM: couldn’t help leaving you some hot cocoa. and snickerdoodles of course 10:12 AM: i love you Remus went to go help his dads with making breakfast, but by the time everyone was done cleaning and they had finished watching some shitty Hallmark movie, he remembered that he had left his phone upstairs. Going upstairs and looking at it, he felt something in him break.

[2 Unread: Roman <3, bf’s dad]

10:22 AM, Roman <3: Why are you texting this number? 11:15 AM, bf’s dad: Remus, disregard that last, I’m so sorry. I just found his phone and I saw only the recent message first

The phone started ringing. Remus answered it as quickly as he could.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Sanders I didn’t know that someone was actually getting these messages I thought the line was out,” he said within a few seconds before the person on the other side sighed.

“No, it’s quite all right. And Virgil’s all right, by the way, if you prefer. I... I was just looking through his things for the first time. You know, it being a holiday and all... Memories, things like that.”

“Yeah, I understand.”

“I just turned the phone back on, I’m getting a lot of messages.”

“Oh.” Remus stared at the wall, trying to come to terms with everything. “Well, I--”

“I’m not going to stop paying for his phone. I’m sorry, I just... I still have his voicemails on it, and I can’t stand the thought of it going offline either.”

“Right, I... I listen to it too.”

“I happened upon the last one he sent to you.”

“You looked at the messages?”

“I only looked over when I stopped getting new ones, but I saw the last question he sent you. For your ring size.”

“Yeah? He asked my ring size so that he could--”

“There’s no easy way to say this, but.. I found something of his. Can you come over?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t, but can you please tell me what it was? Please?”

“I really think I should tell you this in person.”

“Please, Mr. Sanders. Please, I... I can’t manage that.”

He sighed. “All right, Remus. I found an early acceptance letter to SJAU, and... and a ringbox.”

Remus felt his grasp on the phone grow weak. It fell onto the bed, Mr. Sanders’ voice still clear.

“I think he was going to ask for you to....”

“No, we... We were just out of high school, I-- that doesn’t make sense.”

“He always was one for those romantic gestures. There’s some poems here, too. A life-plan. I’m not sure exactly what malacology is, but--”

“Mollusks. Like octopi and squids.. Sorry for cutting you off, what was that?”

“Some of it’s in your handwriting, but one of the entries is ‘ask him’, for the day after... you know.”

God, he could hear his sad smile through the phone. He knew exactly how Mr. Sanders looked right now just talking to him, probably wearing that hoodie that was too big on him, in a dusty room full of things that used to belong to the most vibrant person that Remus had ever met.

But then Roman had died.

He was the most wonderful person, and he had just died.

“I’ll come over to deliver the ring to you. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s... that’s fine. Uh, call my dads first, though. They’re still not convinced I’m doing okay.”

“I understand. I’ll talk to you later, Remus.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sanders.”

The line went dead in his hands.

Remus held himself and wept.

December 28:

12:30 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: Mr. Sanders, would you like to come over for our New Year’s party? 12:34 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: It’s a tradition we had. You don’t have to if you’d rather not. 12:45 PM, Virgil Sanders: I’d love to go.

January 1:

12:00 AM: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 12:05 AM: [Attachment: :)] 12:07 AM: we are all smiling in this photo and for that i think we deserve a hug. 12:10 AM: this rings the most beuatifl thing i’ve ever fuckign seen. thank you,, 12:14 AM: never gonna get rid of it <3 12:16 AM: it looks Good on my finger 12:30 AM: jsyk your dad’s asking my dads for the kouign amann recipe 12:32 AM: thats a pastry, i left those for u a while back 12:39 AM: okay i’m crying a bit but honestly, i love u 12:44 AM: I love you so so so much, Roman

Somewhere out there, whether it was from some wonderful paradise or beyond the veil or even only in wishful thoughts, Remus knew that someone was saying I love you too.

[cinnamon-dragon]

ADAINE ABERNANT - playlist

[necropsittacus]

for the ask thing, all the ones you have an interesting answer for

this is extremely long because I Love Oversharing so under a cut. thanks britta!!!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?tea, black; i've tried putting extra spices in it but i think i'm not doing it right bc it gets grainy and weird? i don't drink coffee anymore for "hey maybe we should stop consuming this thing that makes us feel like we're actually about to die" reasons but when i did it was with a fuckton of cream5. are you self-conscious of your smile?yeah; less so since i actually brush my teeth semi routinely now, so they're less awful, but i still have a slight overbite and a residual habit of covering my mouth with my hand if i open it very much 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?either weird vent fanfiction that i never end up finishing, drawing in my notebooks, or i try to make the overly dramatic/pretentious thoughts that pop into my head into poetry (which i never end up finishing, go figure).9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?used to, but it's like. even besides insecurity about my voice and the fear that i'll be Too Loud and bother someone. the same internal barrier that makes it hard to speak out loud, especially if i'm not directly prompted to, applies to singing10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?usually side, and in the fetal position. occasionally back though13: what’s something that made you smile today?saw a chickadee!14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?god i don't know that's like. that's the fucking dream, for the future, but i hadn't gotten as far as daydreaming about *decoration* or anything of that sort. at the moment i tend towards covering things in movie posters and little trinkets i accumulate and toys and that sort of thing. i know i couldn't do sharing a room with someone else long term, it'd get stressy, so at least two bedrooms (or a bedroom and a pull out couch in the living room, that'd work), a little kitchen. no minimalism, but i might like having primary responsibility for Housecleaning sorts of things for my loved ones, or keeping things reasonably neat. just. something that feels like a proper home. safe. 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?i am extremely boring and usually just do fettuccine alfredo. that said, cheese ravioli and pesto products are also very good. i just don't like super complicated foods with ingredients i don't recognize, or red sauce. red sauce is Sensory Bad.  17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?i mean i've been dyeing mine black since i was like 17 to the point that people think that's the natural color and i just let them, and honestly i'm very happy with thatred looked good on me, and i definitely like the way a lot of those super bright unnatural purples, blues, etc look on other people but it doesn't feel like "yes this is Correct this is what i'm Supposed to Look Like, this is the color it was *supposed* to be all along" in the same way, it just feels like i'm dyeing it a weird color for fun18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up."mola mola isn't a slur, right?"20: what’s your favorite eye color?idk about "favorite" but dark brown eyes are really pretty22: are you a morning person?i tend to be more productive and (assuming at least like five or six hours of sleep) more cheerful in the morning, but getting out of bed is a horrible struggle bc executive dysfunction and anxiety23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?tbh i HATE having those days, i don't like being super busy Either but i get really like bored/restless/I Am Going to Rip My Skin Off to Have Something to Do Please Let Me Out of the House if i genuinely don't have anything scheduled for a day? so i usually *make* obligations for myself, writing projects or something like that, if i don't have anything externally enforced. and go to the library or a cafe or something bc i feel more alive if i don't stay in my room all day24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?yeah26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?i mean i've only had them for like a year bc it turns out that wearing the same pair of shoes almost every day wears through them pretty fast, who would have thought? but black combat boots28: sunrise or sunset?sunset31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.they hurt but i p much only wear boots so i have to wear them all the time. also my feet are weird and fucked up and i don’t especially like looking at them. and then i forget to take them off to sleep so i just. wear them all the time except to shower. i like weird socks with like animal pictures or whatever but then i feel bad abt wearing them bc i wear out socks really fast for unclear reasons34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?ooh i had a lot!! most of them were sea mammals, a couple sharks i think? i had a couple rabbits when i was Really small but i don't remember them as clearlyi can't remember most of their names but they had whole like imagined stories and relationships to each other and shit, i definitely remember there was one stuffed orca that was almost as big as kindergartener me35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?oh absolutely!! i write mostly in pencil for ease of corrections and so it doesn't bleed through the paper, but i accumulate pens/weird ink colors/etc37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?see i *prefer* having my room be clean but it literally never is 39: what color do you wear the most?black. combination of "trying to be low effort goth" and that idk how to coordinate colors so all my outfits are either all black or like. black + one other color + possibly grey, bc i figure there's no way that could end up clashing horribly. also i only HAVE black pants anyway so like. 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?mm i know accident by christa wolf hit me pretty hard in some emotions, and that was recent44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?i'm not sure that's an emotion i have tbhwhen i'm happy there's this kind of anxious edge to it, not necessarily in a bad way, but "at peace" is. an odd concept for me. the closest i get is this sort of quiet not-exactly-negative melancholy if i'm not behind on anything and it's raining and everything's just sort of soft yknow? 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?marinara sauce. i hate that shit. i'll eat it on pizza or if i literally have to in order to get a meal and i can't physically handle not having one, but that's about it. also tomatoes more generally! i like ketchup but that's it. why do yall insist on putting tomatoes on everything all the time i Don't Like Them50: what’s an odd thing you collect?i keep all the toys i get out of kinder eggs and stuff like that. also i just have hyperempathy about inanimate objects and animals (and basically no empathy for humans most of the time, weirdly enough) and it's frequently difficult for me to throw things away because "well i'll be hurting it!" so uh. i just accumulate objects. i still have my old toothbrush somewhere55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?i straight up tried to kill myself to win an argument with mom once in high school. and i'm not talking like a mini fakeout attempt that wasn't supposed/expected to work, either, i did regret it but i was straight up prepared to die to get her to believe me 56: what are some things you find endearing in people?rambling/talking about your interests, emotional openness. if you like. send me things that reminded you of me/you thought i'd like, or initiate physical contact so i don't have to feel so weird/guilty about it, that's a very fast path to my affections. just being weird as shit. lots of little things, really. depends on the person a lot, though; either "person is Soft and Good and i feel like it's my responsibility to protect them" or "person is Kind of Scary/Edgy and i will attach myself to them and remain loyal no matter what and they appreciate it" are pretty consistent things, but those are a long way from the Only paths to my affection58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?awfully bold of you to assume i have a friend group and not just a disparate group of friends who mostly don't talk to each other. i AM semi consistently the weird vodka uncle though. 59: what’s your favorite myth?LOTS. that's not quite a fair question i can't pick one favoritethe volsunga saga does come to mind, though60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?i do!!! i thought i didn't because turns out the things they make you read in high school english are often Not Terribly Emotionally Resonant for me, funnily enough, but when i started reading russian poetry in college, and more mental illness focused stuff tbh, it was like Oh Shit This Is Really Cool. i really like vladimir mayakovsky!61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?when i was really small i gave my dad a  care bears coloring book for his birthday because for some reason i didn't process that other people didn't have exactly the same interests as me??62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?i drink either unsweetened green tea or monster energy drinks in the morning. depends how much of a disaster i'm being on that particular day. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?all my music is online or haphazardly downloaded to my phone so there's. not really any way to organize that if i wanted to tbh. i make a lot of character or ship playlists that i'd put more effort into organizing if i ever got around to showing them to other people, but Also anything that isn't too embarrassing to risk anyone else seeing just gets put in one folder. i DO organize my books, though. i usually *forget* to put them back where they're supposed to go, but there is a proper order (everything from one author or franchise together, stuff like star wars or tolkien is together and in in-universe chronological order, stuff like that), and i get upset if people fuck with it67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?nice. it's very calming, and also bright sunlight hurts my eyes fjgshtf68: what’s winter like where you live?not very different from fall most of the time. climate change is making it more midwest-y, which i'm not sure if i'm happy about or not (snow nice, but summer is also progressing in that direction, which is unfortunate). somewhere between the 30's and 50's (fahrenheit), mostly pretty grey, it rains sometimes. it's not cold enough that i need to have a real coat, usually sweater+leather jacket is enough. my hands always hurt, though70: have you ever used a ouija board?yeah i used to do it with my brother sometimes. nothing ever happened tho76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?i need to write my paper proposal for nuclear lit and also draw some stuff for people that i've been putting off because my brain hates me and Catching Up On Everything I Should Have Been Doing a While Ago Is Scary77: pink or yellow lemonade?both? both is good78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?i have no real feelings on minions one way or the other but i have no interest in them and don't like seeing them all the time79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?someone i used to know was going to move away from their abusers and get a job and such, partly or mostly For Me, so we could run away and start things over together after i graduated. and then things blew up but. it was very sweet and sometimes i get emotional about the concept of that still 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?three white, one blue. i didn't choose it, it came with the dorm room. my bedroom in my parents house has really dark blue walls, which i DID choose bc i wanted a dark color and my brother already had red ones and i wanted to distinguish myself from him. 82: are/were you good in school?mmm more or less, yes i'm terrible at certain kinds of projects and at getting stuff done without pretty much devastating my physical ability to function pushing myself at the last minute. that said, i'm very good at tests, good at papers, good at language learning and bullshit analysis. it's just like. PLEASE don't give me "fun creative projects!!!" or start with the "oh well tests aren't a good way of measuring learning, here's some other stuff that will be easier for you!" thing. i *like* tests. tests make sense and it's just sit down for an hour and you're done. it's the other stuff that's hard also i'm so used to my mother's ridiculous standards that it's like. yes i am good at school, in that my professors keep telling me i am Very Smart and things of that nature. but also i am terrible at taking care of myself while i have school because me being good at school is to some extent reliant on my brain's false insistence that Everybody Else Has Perfect Grades and Is Killing Themselves Slowly To Be The Best, so clearly we need to do that too! and any sacrifice is worth it! so eventually i just collapse84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?yeah definitely, at some point. there's other things that are more pressing to spend my limited amount of non-parent-controlled money on right now, but i know i want like. some manner of thing referencing my chronic turin turambar (self dx) status, probably his grave inscription or a sword (or both eventually!). probably also a bird of some sort85: do you read comics? what are your faves?see i'll happily read comics if there's a franchise i'm already interested in that has comics as part of it, but i'm not like a Comics Fan per se. i tend to find them kind of overwhelming because there's just So Much content and i don't know where to start and i usually get distracted before i finish. i did really enjoy mtmte and the tdc creation myths comics89: are you close to your parents?nope! i send my dad animal pictures, and vice versa, and that's about the extent of it when i'm not staying with them for breaks. mom's...Difficult(TM) and dad i get along with fine but i don't really know how to text him 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?drowns. i want to be able to actually taste it.93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?my hair is too short to really have Different Styles. i just keep it combed pretty neatly bc that's the only thing i know how to do afngjdsgf94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?my friend emma @autisticsansamaybe people i care less about had them more recently but tbh if we aren't friends i don't know when your birthday is without being told96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?i have literally never updated this laptop because it does not have space for an update. this isn't even my fault. i have deleted *every single thing on it that is not important to make it actually run* in order to have enough space to update, and it STILL doesn't. 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?a few months ago i would have said 5 years into the past, because i Desperately missed aspects of how my life was at that part of high school--mostly having people i loved and who loved me, who wanted a future with me, and the certainty of that, that i wouldn't just be On My Own Forever post educational system--but now? future. high school fucking *sucked* in a lot of ways, and also i was a terrible person and i don't especially want to go back to that version of me. future is like...scary because yeah there is a decent possibility i'll just be pretty much totally alone and having to work a job i hate to keep up, but like. there is also a possibility that i'll have the things i wanted all along in a more stable context, yknow?

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x17 Commentary

Zeta and Giuls scream together, and then die.

@purpleskiesandcherrypies and @dean-winchesters-bacon won’t be joining us for this one. 

Me & Zeta will watch together season 14′s episodes as they come out and we’ll do our commentary while watching.

+MASTERLIST of season 14 commentary * 

Giulia: Yo i’m sad he ded tho

Giulia: But is he?

Giulia: YAAA sis Jo

Zee: Ouch

Giulia: Oh go fuck u nick

Giulia: You can burn. I want to use that

Zee: Ded

Giulia: REJECT HIM

Zee: Donnie

Giulia: nick such a drama queen, like his fucking brother. gasps, Lucifer/Nick is Hamlet.

Giulia: Donny babe

Zee: Stabby stabby

Giulia: Shish kebab teenagers

[14x17 Game Night ]

♪ Raindrops keep fallin' on my head ♪

Giulia: Love that song

Giulia: God I love him. IF THEY TOUCH A HAIR ON HIM

Zee: Fucking hell

Giulia: DON T TOUCH HIIIIM

Zee: Seriously ??!!!

Annoyed Dean tho

Oh look at the son of Satan without a soul making pop-corns

Zee: Mary?

Giulia: Yeah well she still exists

Zee: Why again?

D:  SON OF A BITCH!!

Classic Dean

J: I thought this was supposed to relax him.

M: You know, this was his favorite game when he was little.

me: *imagining little Dean playing the game exactly the same and with a high pitched voice: Son of a bitch*  good visual.

J: Everybody keeps asking me that.

Giulia: We aRe FamIlY

J: Well, it’s annoying

Mary: 

Giulia: It is

Zee: Did she eye roll?

M: if you ever want to talk or...vent...

J :You're here. I know.

J thinking: I just wanna eat my pop corns and play stupid game, can I fucking live?

Giulia: Winchester game night

D: All right. Winchester game night is a go  soon as Sammy gets back here with the two double-pepperoni meat blasters AND

Zee: Pineapple. A crime against humanity

Giulia&Jack : I like it

Dean: why have you forsaken me, son

D: Yeah, it's like a crime against humanity.

Me quoting [ X ]  

Zee: SEE????

Giulia: Was that enochian?

Zee: I think

Giulia: IT’S BABE TIME

Look how cute he is.... SO CUTE , SO CUUUUTE

Zee: Knew it Was waiting for it

Anael: wow this place is so ...

Giulia: U MEAN  CUTE JO

Giulia: Omg he has pancakes

Zee: Doesn’t eat them

Giulia:HE’S BEING POLITE OK. Oh look a that they have cream and strawberry *sobs* I’m hungry

A: Well, you said you had something for me.

Castiel sliding a jewlery box.

me [heart attack]

A: 16th-century Burmese blood rubies.

LOOK AT THAT CUTE SMILE 

A:  Five carats. Excellent clarity. Castiel,where did you get these?

Zee: Lightly cursed

C: I need your help. To contact God.

Giulia: Oh honey no

Zee: I just laughed along with jo

- um so Anael was Joshua right hand? so she wasn’t that useless angel afterall. 

Giulia: Joshua is dead?

C: Jack killed Michael.

Giulia&Zee: Good night sweet prince

C: Only God can restore a soul.

ISN’T THAT A BOTHER 

A: The Winchesters -- they don't know you're here, do they?

Giulia: Of course they don t

Zee: Squint

C: Why do you say that?

A: Oh, I don't know, just a general reek of ill-conceived lone-wolf desperation.

Giulia&Zee: Lone wolf desperation

*Cas looks into the camera like in the office*

C: will you help me or not?

A: Not

C *smirking* : I see

A: BUT

Giulia: She s me

Zee: Mental grabby hands

S: It's not Enochian. I-I-I think it's Ancient Hebrew.

Sammy says it’s not Enochian

Zee: It’s not enochian then

Giulia: Oh WeLl AncIenT HeBreW

D: well Sammy sounds stressed

WHAT’S NEW THO

M: I just wish there was something that I c--

D:Hey. You're here, okay? You're here.

Giulia: Mary is here everyone!  Everything is fine

Zee: Chuck I hate her

M: But I should've been here more. But I know how I am. I can be closed off...and hard.

D: Yeah, well, that's where I get it from.

Giulia: OH NO No he definitely doesn’t

Giulia: Dean is always there. Mary just fucks off somewhere

M: I just need you to know... I'm grateful. For every day I get to spend with you and Sam.

Giulia: Listen- I’ve been on this show long enough to know that when someone starts to talk like that it’s bad news-

S: I know this.

Giulia: What the fuck is sam brain made off

Zee: Good question

S: It's from the Bible. It's -- it's Peter. Peter 5:8.

"Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the Devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour."

Well that sounds NICE

Zee: Trap?

Giulia: Oh come on

Zee: Trap

[enters Nick with an apron]

Giulia: OH FUCK YOU

N: What, no "hey"? "How ya been"?

Giulia: No fuck off nick

D: How?

N: Instead of rotting away in a jail cell where you left me?

N: Sort of a funny story... and by "funny," I mean a lot of people died.

Giulia: Can they just kill him

Giulia: Dean just kill him

Zee: Valid question

Giulia: Mary can you be useful and just kill the bitch

N: I mean, I sort of injected your friend with poison --

Giulia: Poor Donny

D: Where is he?!

N: Ooh, the angry voice.

Zee: Oh ok

Giulia: Yeees the angry voice

Giulia: I. Don’t. Like. Cas. Doing. Stuff. Alone.

A:Even for us Methuselah?  You sheltered him after the Fall.

Methy: I didn't "shelter" -- We were roommates.

Giulia: OMG THEY WERE ROOMMATES

Methy: He made a mean lasagna

Zee: Loool

C: No. You'll tell me, or I'll burn this place to the ground. and you with it.

Giulia: *Shivers* yeeees

Zee: Kiddo

C: Is that really what you want?

Giulia: SHIVERS *YEEEEEEES*

OK BUT YOU GOTTA LOVE THE SLOW MOTION THO

Giulia: oh Sam baby

Giulia: YES

Giulia: YEEES

D: Whoa! Hey. Hey! Not now. Okay?

D: not yet

Stellar content

Giulia: Let Sam kill that bitch

Zee: Let someone kill him

D: I don't know. If you ask me, that psycho's seen way too many '90s serial-killer movies.

S: The antidote is Prussian Blue

Giulia: *raising hand* Knew that

D: He said he wanted to talk. So let's talk.

Giulia&Zee: Oooh yeah let’s talk

Giulia: I’m sam

Sam’s like “ but Deeeeeean I wanna smash”

D: if Nick looks at you wrong, you're gonna waste him.

LET HIIIIIM

Giulia: Who cut Jared ‘s hair

Giulia: I dont like it

Zee: I need season 8 hair

S: Donatello's in this because of me. A police officer is dead because of me. I'm the one who let Nick go, I'm the one who...

please babe ....can someone just hold him

M: Nick's choices are his. Just his.

M: You gave him a chance because you felt for him.....because you're a good man.

Giulia: Oh look at him being all cute when mary called him a good man

M: You are. It's one of the reasons I'm so proud of you.

Anael complainig about the dust while she’s an angel.

Giulia: LOL SHE S ME

ALSO WE ALL KNOW THAT DANNEEL LOVES CREEPY DOLLS

A: God's not gonna care.

Giulia: das true

A: I believed in Heaven. You know, our mission. I believed, Castiel. But then I got to Earth, and I saw that it wasn't the paradise God promised. I mean, there was so much hate...so much suffering.

A: Why wasn't he helping them? And do you know what he said?

A: "God doesn't meddle."

Zee: Doesn’t meddle

Giulia: Das also true

A: Well, I do. So I do.

C: And here I thought you just performed miracles for the money.

A: Well, you haven't been paying attention, then. I do them for me. I don't need Heaven. And I don't need God. And... I'm happy, Castiel.

LISTEN - I STAN ANAEL

C: Really? Because that sounds lonely.

Zee: We’re all lonely

A: because we're all alone. From ant to lion to human to angel. Every last one of us.

Giulia: SHE S ME

C: God reached down, and he brought me back to life.

A: So he saves one angel...and watches millions of people die screaming, every day. What does that say about him?

Giulia *sweats* : But he saves THE angel ok

Zee: Ouch

D: Where’s Donatello?

Giulia: That’s the content I want

N: I get you, Dean. You and me,we're almost like brothers, you know. Michael, you,Lucifer, me --

Giulia: NOT LIKE THIS

N: we both know what it's like to be hog-tied to a nuclear warhead, man.

Giulia: OH NOPE

Giulia: NICE

D: Cut the crap

N: You're never the same after something like that, are ya? Being one with one of them. It changes you. Makes you more than human. Come on, Dean, admit it. With Michael, you were a prince. Now you're just a broken Hunter.

Giulia: Another one

Zee: Demon dean vibes

Giulia: But also MoC tho

Giulia: So much demon dean

D: Come on, Nick. What's this all about?

D: He says he wants to talk to Jack...alone.

Giulia: His friggin’ cocoa puffs

Giulia: I don t like jack and nick alone Especially jack with no soul. Because let’s be real, he has so little of it ok

j: Sam?

S: I mean-

D: "I mean"? What do you mean, you mean

S: How's he even a threat?

Me: mmmm *opening big ass folder* where do I start?

Zee: Of course. He went there

N: Even your three dads -- how many innocent people you think they've killed?

Zee: Even your three dads

Giulia: Threee dads

Giulia: You broke his heart

N: I don't know. I don't -- I don't see it. I'm looking right at you, and I see nothing.

Zee: I see nothing

Giulia: Don t like that. Mmm mmm nope

Zee: Wth?

Giulia: He killed him

N: Nick. He'll show us where to find Donatello.

oh...he did not kill him. oh bother

Zee: I’m done

Giulia: We ve been knew

A: Look, I just stepped on a rat, so --

Giulia: My babe

Zee: Say it like you  mean it tho

A: You're doing this because you're afraid. Because in your mind, it'd be easier to call God than to tell Sam and Dean Winchester the truth.

C: The truth?

A: Jack's soul is gone, Castiel. And there's nothing you can do about it.

i hate this

A: Look. I don't want to say all that and hurt your feelings, so...what do you say we call it a night?

HI YES I’M WRECKED BY CAS FACE RIGHT NOW, DON’T TOUCH ME

Giulia: Oh he lives

Giulia: OOOOH THAT THAAAAT

Zee: Fuck

Giulia: CRIES

Giulia: tell me he gives it to dean tho

Zee: He has to

Giulia:...OH wait that’s not the same tho , meh

C: God...I don't know where you are. I don't know if you can hear me. But please. Sam, Dean -- we need you. Please.

Giulia: My heart .Cas broken voice

Giulia: Sigh

Giulia: Sob

Giulia: Cries

D: Look, you try anything funny, Sammy's gonna shoot you. Anything happens to me -- 

N: Wait. Let me guess. Sammy's gonna shoot me.

Giulia: Yeah to start

Giulia: It’s been swell

A: So, what are you gonna do now?

C: Go home.

Giulia: The bunker is his Hoooomeee

C: Go home and tell Sam and Dean the truth.

Zee: Can I have the bag?

C: Anael. You know, you're not <i>always</i> right. Just because God's not with us doesn't mean we're alone.

A:  Why? Because we all have each other?

C: Yes.

Giulia: SO CUTE

J: This was filled with angelic grace.

Zee: Can’t word. Sam needs to punch him

♪ Oh, Sammy boy, Sammy boy ♪

Giulia: Oh no Nick singing. Ptsd flashbacks from the crazy sam ♪ Your phone, your phone is calling ♪

Nick doing disgusting things

Giulia: OH WHAT THE FUCK

Zee: Cb radio. He’s awake

S: Y-You trying to communicate with someone?

N: Search your feelings.  Come on, Sam. Nobody stays dead anymore.

Giulia: fucking nick

Giulia: Fucking demons

Zee: Holy crap

Giulia: YES SAM. YES

Giulia: OH COME ON

Zee: Damn nick

Giulia: stop hitting sam’s head

Giulia: Fuck u nick

Giulia: DEAN is so calm and collected tho. MOC baby. I mean...look at his face while he’s kicking those demon’s asses. That looks way too cold ok. I don’t like it.

Zee: That final push. That’s what I saw on tumblr

Giulia: They need to stop hitting sam in the head

Giulia: DAMN IT NICK. i have 0 empathy for that bitch now. 0

Giulia: Oh come on. Fuck. Fuuuuck

Giulia: NO. MARY NO. FUCK

Zee: Jfc

Giulia: JESUS

Zee: Hell-o

Giulia: Again with the chicken wings

Giulia: OH THANK GOD

Giulia: OUCH  but also YES and also NO

Giulia: Oh yeah Jack is definitely going in that box

Zee: He ded?

Giulia: I sure hope so

D: Hey. Hey. Come on. Stay with me now. We're just gonna play a little game.

D: We're gonna count, okay? We're gonna count.

D: Count with me. One.. two...

S: ...two...

D: Yeah, there you go...three.

S: You -- You always put -- You always put me first.

D:No, no. Shh, shh. Come on. Come on, man.

Giulia: IM SCARED STOP IT

S: Your whole life...

D: Okay. All right. All right. Come on. Come on. Just count with me.

D: Sammy. Hey! Sam!

Zee: Wtf is going on?

J: Mary? I had to.

M: Sam -- Uh, he's hurt. Help him.

Giulia: YEAH OK THANK

Oh god Dean’s face. MEDIC MEDIC HELP

Giulia: oh poor Dean. I NEED A FUCKING MEDIC 

Zee: They should stop scaring people

J: Everything's gonna be fine.

Giulia: SAYS NO ONE EVER ON SPN WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES

Giulia: i don t like mary face

Zee: Is she scared of jack?

Giulia: She right to be But she shouldn’t be like that in front of him

J: Tell me it's okay.

M: It’s not

J: Leave me alone X9

Giulia: Can she just shut up. i mean she’s not wrong. But she should shut up

Giulia: ...SEE THEN THIS HAPPENS

Giulia: Oh

Giulia: Nope

Giulia: Dont like this

[after episode]

Giulia: PROMO

Zee: Fuck

Giulia: I HATE IT

Zee: Did Dean just tell Cas that he failed him??!!!

Giulia: No cas said that , fucking Dean said : you are dead to me

Giulia: WHICH IS WAY WORSE

Zee: Yeah that

Giulia: AND MY HEART HURTS

Zee: Can’t type

Giulia: I WANNA CRY AND I’M ANGRY AT DEAN

Giulia: i didn’t need to see that

Giulia: I can’t hear anything else

Giulia: I can’t unhear that

.

.

.SO IS NEXT THURSDAY ALREADY CANCELLED?

BECAUSE FOR ME IT IS I DON’T GIVE A SHIT . 

.                

.

FUCK YOU DEAN , FUCK YOU.

.

.

@wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie     @mariekoukie6661     @dragontamerm      @closetspngirl   @rainflowermoon    @mattiecat     @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee2   @jacks-word-of-the-day     @4evamc       @dammitsammy     @legendary-destiel   @winchesterprincessbride    @destielhoneybee    @castiellover20   @jacks-word-of-the-day  @ravenhg @evvvissticante  @legendary-destiel  @dustythewind

[ryik-the-writer]

Chapter 21 - The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 3

[A03]

Chapter 1: Pan meets a Wendy Chapter 2: Scars (Felix’s Story) Chapter 3: Day One Chapter 4: Revenge and Fireflies Chapter 5: Brighter than Stars Chapter 6: filler: The Tigress Chapter 7: Operation Spotless! Chapter 8: Operation Spotless: Reporters Down Chapter 9: A Dance with the Devil Chapter 10: filler: Felix and the Pancake Chapter 11: The Girl with Blue Eyes pt. 1 Chapter 12: The Girl with Blue Eyes pt. 2 Chapter 13: The Girl With Blue Eyes: Underground Chapter 14. Recovery Chapter 14.2 Recovery some more Chapter 15: Trapped Chapter 16: Filth Chapter 17: Fairydust pt. 1 Chapter 18: Fairydust pt. 2 Chapter 19: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 1 Chapter 20: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 2

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I began writing Papers and Sleuthers just after OUAT 3B aired.

I was already frustrated after the show severely underused the Peter Pan characters and ultimately threw them away. I knew I wanted to write something, but I couldn’t grasp just what.

Then one day, I was dozing in the back seat of my aunt’s car and saw a missing poster for a dalmatian, and my humble little fic was born.

By season 4, I was starting college and was hit with a terrifying apprehension for the future to the point where I considered abandoning writing altogether.

While I did put a pin in several stories, I never could turn away from P&S. I don’t really know why; maybe because I was starving for more fics with these characters; maybe I was hiding from my problems in the ones of these characters.

I conceived Revenge and Fireflies while I was studying for a French exam; popped out the end of Operation: Spotless during my first Christmas break; cried through Wendy’s fight with Edward and her father in Reporters Down, and after a year and a half long hiatus, I finally got to write Pan��s more human side when he reconnected with Belle in The Girl with Blue Eyes

Now, my 23, freshly graduated from college, and once again I’m that scared writer-wanna-be who must beg their selves to function.

P&S has been with me through a portion of my life when I was ecstatic with the idea of the future and loathed it at the same time.

I can’t end it—I just can’t. It’s in my bones. A shitty fic conceived from a shitty show. But I want to keep it going for as long as possible. As long as I keep going. Even if it takes years.

Anyway, here’s Papers and Sleuthers.

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Yesterday

Wendy was furious with him, and Pan was enjoying the shit out of it.

Toying with Wendy’s sanity was becoming a much-enjoyed habit for Pan, he concluded. He kept her disgusted with him enough that she kept her distance—kept her self safe from the filth of him—but just close enough that he could revel in her misery.

He had to think of his self, didn’t he?

But his reveling was cut short by the ringing of his cell phone.

Duty calls. Probably Glass calling to bitch about putting an unapproved story in the morning paper.

Just another day in Storybrooke.

But when he saw the name on the screen, he felt a twinge of panic.

Just a twinge—Peter Pan was always collected—except when he wasn’t.

Wendy began yelling at him again as he answered, and between her yelling and the person on the phone, he couldn’t make out a word anyone was saying.

Thus he threw off his bedcovers to send Wendy into a temporary state of shock, smothering a bark of laughter at her pink face. From the corner of his eye he could see August—who for some damn reason had helped himself to his coffee AND favorite mug.

“Alright, repeat that.” Pan asserted with a slight smirk.

“Pan this is bad this is so bad oh my god this is so bad!”

“Astrid, slow down.” Pan demanded over the phone.

“Pan, Mother Superior…she’s…she’s dead!”

Pan felt the coldness in his blood slowly freeze into hard crystals.

“What? When?”

“This morning!” Astrid sobbed. “Pan…I…I’m so scared!”

Pan managed not to turn to Wendy, though he desperately wanted to.

He needed to see her eyes.

This whole thing could be pure coincidence. The holy terror could have finally met her end and died in her sleep…but there were no such things as coincidences, not in Storybrooke and not mere hours after Pan had run her in the dirt using Wendy’s name.

“Damn…”

“Pan!”

“Yeah, sorry for swearing, whatever. I’ll be there soon.” He hung up before he could get her response.

Had he stayed on the line just a second longer, he could have caught the tail-end of her worry, and subsequently, her confession.

“It was an accident Pan! I was only trying to get her to admit what she did! I just want my freedom! I didn’t mean for anything to happen to her! Pan? Pan…”

 0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 It wasn’t until the icy wind of the cold November night hit Wendy in the face that the exact caliber of what they were about to do sank in:

They were going after Mother Superior’s probable killer. A girl—according to Pan—was as much of a victim in all this as Wendy was, as any of the nuns from the convent were.

Victim or not, Pan was willing to scapegoat Astrid…for her.

Wendy’s stomach twisted in guilt. No, no matter if she was guilty or not, she couldn’t allow that poor girl to go to jail, not without all the facts.

Her mind started racing for someway to just…slow everything down. What would they do if they found her? Would they call the police? Or would Pan set the entire town on fire just to help her get away?

She peaked up from Pan’s shoulder and could just catch the corner of his eye. What was he going to do? And what was she going to do to stop him?

They were around the corner from the convent when Pan came to a screaming halt, cursing ‘shit!’ as Wendy’s nails dug into his abs to prevent from getting thrown into the asphalt.

“The hell. Pan!” she hissed. He shushed her instantly, pulling her from the moped and ducking behind a bush. Wendy pushed the hair from her face and saw the pulsing of police lights just at the entrance of the convent.

“Fuck!” Pan hissed. “Double fucking hell!”

“Do they have her?” Wendy whispered.

“No, doesn’t look like it.” Pan responded. “Graham must have figured it out! That dirty bloodhound!”

Wendy shook her head, trying to calculate their next move—should they need one at all.

If Astrid were caught and confessed, Wendy’s name would be cleared.

But there was something else going on, something Pan was once again not letting her in on.

Whoever this ‘Astrid’ was, she meant enough to Pan that he was running after her, and Wendy sensed it was not for the sole purpose of clearing Wendy’s name.

He said he helped her before, and however he did so may have caused their predicament with the dead head nun.

The police must have thought so as well if they were at the convent.

They watched as Deputy Nolan exited the front door, saying something to Graham that caused him to send a command into his walkie-talkie.

Pan nudged her arm. “We have to go.”

“Where?” she whispered as she helped him roll his moped a quiet distance away.

“If Astrid’s not at the convent, there’s one other place she might be, but we need to get there before Graham and his pack do.”

Wendy nodded and jumped on the back of the moped as Pan hurriedly started it up, holding on for dear life as he drove them into uncertainty.

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 She hadn’t seen the docks yet, Wendy realized as Pan eased into the eerily quiet area.

It was strange, after a month and a half of pure trauma, she thought she saw all Storybrooke had to offer. Yet there was this massive and important part of the town she’d just looked over.

A part that apparently was harboring a possible killer.

Just on the edge of a very rickety boardwalk was a small boat with a barely visible light flickering inside, the only light on the entire dock.

“Why are we here?” Wendy whispered, lowering the flashlight on her cellphone to its lowest setting.

“In that boat is a man named Leroy Miner,” Pan explained. “He’s been Astrid’s secret lover for about four years now.”

Wendy blinked at the reveal and awaited its significance to their plight.

“She planned to elope with him several years ago, but Mother Superior stopped them, and incited a dash of blackmail with Leroy to add to the pot.”

Wendy nodded, releasing a knowing breath. It was a motive for murder, but why would Astrid wait so long to go through with it? She hardly seemed like a cold-blooded killer. Did it simply take her several years of being pushed to her limit, of not being with the man she loved, to finally set her off?

Or maybe she hadn’t been the one to be set off at all?

“Do you think this Leroy man had something to do with Mother Superior’s murder?” Wendy inquired. She could just see the outline of Pan’s face in the dark.

“I plan to find out,” Pan growled, rushing up to the boat. Wendy scurried after him.

“It could be dangerous! What if this Leroy man has a gun?”

Pan scoffed. “When have either one of us ever been intimidated by a gun?”

A brief flash of Cruella’s black and white hair struck Wendy’s mind and she went very quiet.

Unperturbed, Pan stepped onto the boat’s step, ready to bang on the door and demand Astrid’s whereabouts.

“Get the fuck away from that door Pan!”

Wendy shot around, shining her light on a squinting Tink.

“Watch it!” she hollered, blinking in irritation.

Pan jumped off the stepped. “The hell are you doing here!” he hissed, monitoring his tone in case he alerted the occupants of the boat.

She was going to ruin everything.

“I could ask you the same thing you little shit!” Tink spat, her own flashlight shaking in her hands. “But I believe I already know the answer to that.” She glanced around him to glare at Wendy. “Trying to get part two of your little fuckfest?”

Wendy swallowed a large lump in her throat. She knew Tink’s anger was misguided, but it still hurt to be so rawly despised by the truest friend she had in town.

Oddly, it was her worst enemy who stepped in front of her, shielding her from the ex-nun’s fire.

“You’re going to feel like a total jackass when this is all over,” Pan stated. “But for now I need you to shut the hell up an leave before you blow this whole thing.”

“Oh kiss a rattle snake Pan! I’ve been doing our own investigation. And I know what you’re about to do!”

“You mean trying to save a technically innocent woman from going to jail?”

“From framing her in the first place!” Tink yelled. “You’re trying to pin this on her and I won’t allow it!”

“Pin it?” Pan scoffed. “I know good and damn well she had something to do with it!”

“You’re here to stir up trouble like you always do! You’re going to mess her up just like you did Wendy!”

Wendy winced, and from the corner of her eye she could see lights of homes flickering on in the distance.

“Perhaps we should move this somewhere else?” Wendy called out in concern.

“Why would we do that! This is perfect! I’m so glad we can have this conversation out in the fucking open!” Pan howled, the sound loud and violent enough to wake half of Storybrooke.

And the occupants of Leory’s boat.

Through the curtained windows Wendy could see a fluster of movement and just the faintest clatter of glass. The string of movement traveled to the door until it slung open, revealing a stalky man in a wifebeater holding a baseball bat.

“You better have one hell of a reason to—” the man lowered his bat when he saw Pan glaring stolidly at him, a wide-eyed Wendy ducking just behind him.

“Pan?” he barked.

“Leroy.” Pan spat.

“Tink?”

“Not now Leroy!” Tink yelled.

“Oh for God’s sake!” he exclaimed.

“Leroy!” came a squeaky, much more feminine voice behind him.

The commotion stopped, and Wendy peeked behind Pan’s shoulder as Leroy muttered a hasty apology to the person, catching a glimpse of the itchy fabric the nuns had to wear as skirts.

“Astrid?” Tink inquired hopefully.

A small sound came from behind Leroy and in a moment the young murder suspect revealed herself.

The two nuns eyed each other for a moment, each taking in their distinctions. Astrid’s overly-ironed uniform that clung to her like a straightjacket. Tink’s messy updo and rugged jeans, ripped at the seams from constant wears.

One was caged. The other was free.

Yet they both were still wearing their own pair of shackles.

“Astrid,” Tink greeted with a wet smile. “I…”

“I was going to call you!” Astrid blurted out, her hands twitching. “Afterwards…when…” she glanced at Leroy.

Tink nodded, the worry resurfacing in her eyes.

“Please tell me what happened.” Tink begged. “The sisters said you disappeared sometime this morning, after Mother Superior…” Tink shook her head, her gaze landing on a sole overstuffed bag just beside the couch. Astrid had literally packed everything she owned.

Wendy heard talking from a distance, and knew they were seconds away from having a run-in with Graham.

“Like I said, let’s move this,” Wendy commanded.

Pan gave Leroy a dark look, and with a grumble he stepped aside to allow the three into his crowded boat.

But then, there was total silence. Everyone was staring at each other, unsure of who to trust, who would turn out to be the real enemy.

Wendy wanted this all to end so bad, but the only way it would be so was if the woman in front of her somehow confessed to Mother Superior’s murder. And that, no matter the consequence for her, is not what she wanted.

Wendy met the timid eyes, earnestly begging her to say something. The poor woman sensed her plea, and her fingers weaved nervously through her starchy skirt.

“I…I…” Astrid hesitated from behind the solidly-built man in front of her.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Leroy insisted.

Pan made a rush at the nun, stepping right up to her and avoiding Leroy’s ready bat.

“Astrid,” he said calmly, his fingers twitching to reach out and grab her. “You need to tell us what happened.”

“Don’t answer him sweetie!” Leroy warned. “It’s a trap! Look what they did to Mother Superior!”

“It wasn’t like that!” Wendy cut in.

“Sure it wasn’t!” Leroy snarled. “You’re just the one who wrote the story! How many more lives do you want to ruin tonight?”

Wendy locked her jaw to prevent herself from yelling at this man. He was only defending Astrid, she knew, but she was about damn tired of people jumping to conclusions about her.

Much to her curiosity it was Pan who stepped forward and got into the stalky man’s face.

“How about you shut up and let us settle this before someone else ends up dead?” he warned, low and frightening enough that Wendy’s throat in apprehension.

“Do not threaten him!” Tink warned, stepping between Leroy and Pan.

Pan gritted his teeth, wanting to scream at her to go away. She was going to ruin everything! But he saw the rawness in her light brown eyes. She didn’t hate him; Tink didn’t have that kind of bitterness in her soul, even towards him.

And there was something else there, something he hadn’t seen even when she was being pulled out of Jekyll’s morgue drawers.

Fear.

Fear for Astrid, fear for the a future without her wicked mother.

“Yesterday you escorted Wendy into Mother Superior’s office, right?” he inquired more softly.

“Y…yes.” Astrid admitted.

“Astrid, be careful.” Leroy warned.

“But you didn’t leave them? You hung back, heard a few things?”

“No!” Astrid defended earnestly. “I mean…I did hear the beginning of the conversation, but I left,” she nodded, as if trying to convince herself.

“What did you hear,” Wendy asked.

“Just…” Astrid fidgeted. “Who you were and that she upset your friend. But I left after that I swear!”

Wendy nodded, remember the bits of the conversation.

“But you didn’t stay away for long, did you?” Pan pressed, and Wendy turned to see the lifelessness in his eyes. Gone was the gamemaster who had his target corner. All that was left was a guilty man who had to make the strenuous decision of turning over the culprit and letting an innocent person take the fall if he didn’t.

“When did you go back?” Wendy continued.

“Later,” Astrid continued, and Leroy led her to the bruised couch. “I saw you,” she said to Wendy. “I saw you break in…but I recognized you from earlier, so I hesitated to call the police…I just… didn’t.” she looked back to Pan. “Then I saw you. You were running, and I thought something was wrong.”

Wendy glanced at Pan, forgotten aggravation over yesterday’s interference resurfacing. Though Pan didn’t return her look, she could feel the cockiness radiating just under his skin.

With a smothered roll of her eyes, she replayed her confrontation with Mother Superior in bouts. Her coming across the half cross, confront the head nun on it and nearly losing her hand when she took the cross back. And then, of course, Pan making his grand entrance and stealing her thunder, though to his credit his presence did cause her to finally admit what she did to Tink.

Wendy rubbed her temple. If she had just looked over her shoulder, she might have seen Astrid, might have prevented all of this.

“You heard everything,” Wendy concluded. “Mother Superior’s confession, and her promise to deny everything.”

Astrid slowly closed her eyes, the guilt written all over her face.

“Astrid,” Pan growled. “Whatever you saw or did after we left will determine what’s going to happen next. To you, to Tink,” he barely nudged Wendy’s way. “And even to her.”

The young nun’s head shot up, meeting Wendy’s dull gaze. Wendy gasped at the wounded look in her eyes, and knew in a single moment that no matter what happened after tonight, whether she came forward or not, she couldn’t hate her.

All she could see in that moment was Tink leaning into Felix’s arms as she struggled not to fall apart.

She’s always doing this.

Surrogate, but just barely.

Make it stop.

She wasn’t looking at a crazed vengeful murderer. She was looking at an abuse survivor.

And whether she had anything to do with Mother Superior’s death or not, she didn’t deserve any of the backlash from it.

Wendy went looking for the truth to give Tink some well-deserved closure. It was more than apparent to her now that Astrid deserved the same.

“Wait…” Wendy sighed, ready to end the whole mess when there was a loud bang on the door.

“Shit!” Leroy yelled, raising his bat. Astrid gasped and pressed herself into the corner.

“Leroy, open the door!” came Graham’s brogue.

“Fuck fuck fuck!” Pan hissed.

Wendy gasped as Tink shot past her to run to Nova. If Graham came through, it was over for both of them.

The young journalist gulped, her mind readying a very stupid idea that would either save her or endanger all of them.

“Is there a back door?” Wendy whispered to Leroy.

The stout man’s face lit with realization. “Yes, and there’s a supply shed just down the docks. She can stay there until I get these pests out of here.”

Wendy nodded. “Astrid, come with me.”

“I’m coming too,” Tink announced, stashing Astrid’s bag in a small cupboard.

“We’ll all go,” Pan added, looking out one of the back blinds. “All clear.”

Graham knocked on the door again and Leroy called out to keep him occupied while the four of them quietly left through the back.

Wendy could here someone walking around on top of the boat, no doubt looking for evidence for Astrid’s arrival. Up a head a flashlight was hovering about, and Pan grabbed her by the collar to keep her from walking out into it.

As soon as it lifted, the four of them quietly sprinted towards the direction of the shed, all worried that if they looked back they’d be caught for sure.

Pan struggled to get the rusty door open, the friction causing the metal to scream in protest, giving away their position. He did manage to get it open just enough for them all the slip in, the overwhelming smell of salt filling their lungs as Pan closed them in.

Wendy brought out her cellphone, the dim light barely adding illumination to the dark room.

“Watch your step,” Pan warned, pulling out his own cellphone to aid her. “One false move and you’ll fall into the water.

“Thanks for the tip,” Wendy deadpanned as Tink added her phone light as well.

They managed to find overturned barrels to sit on while they waited, using the cracks in the walls to watch the police raid from a far.

Tink had Astrid nestled close to her side, protecting her from the elements—and worse—the two people in the room who wanted her to talk.

Wendy squinted at Pan, his emotions disjointed from the light. What were they going to do, she asked with her eyes.

I’m working on it, he said with his own.

“I…I had to have proof.”

Wendy turned to a mousy Astrid. “Proof? Proof of what?”

“Remember what Leroy said,” Tink jumped in, glaring at Wendy, “You don’t have to say anything.”

 “No, no I do,” Astrid gasped, pulling herself from her surrogate sister’s loving embrace. “I-I-I need to let this out. I need to confess to what I did.”

“Hold it,” growled Tink as she jumped up and stalked over to Pan. He barely had time to raise his eyebrows before Tink lifted him by his collar and began groping his pockets.

 “The shit Tink!” Pan yelled, swatting her hands away.

 Tink pushed him back harshly against the barrel. “Just had to be sure you weren’t recording this,” she snarled. “Rule one, right?”

 “Rule two, actually,” Pan growled.

 With Pan checked, Tink nodded to Astrid, giving her her blessing to continue.

 Wendy rolled past him, anxious to hear Astrid’s truth.

 “You were there that night, weren’t you?” Wendy gasped, searching her eyes in the weak light.

“I was…returning from Leroy’s,” she said with a shy smile. “And my room is right near Mother Superior’s office.”

Wendy watched as her hands wrung nervously in her skirt.

“So you heard me talking to her?” Wendy pressed carefully.

“Yeah…” Astrid sighed. “I heard…everything.” She glanced to Tink, tears in her eyes. “Tink I’m so sorry!”

Tink shook her head, though her face was as blank as a fresh coat of paint.

“So then, what, you stuffed pills down her throat?”

“Pan!” Tink warned.

“I’m just trying to wrap this up.” Pan shrugged.

“You know good and damn well she didn’t kill her, Pan!” Tink fought.  “Why the hell are you trying to in this on her?”

Pan glanced Astrid’s way and clenched his teeth when she didn’t meet his eyes. He brushed past Tink and Wendy and sat right in front of her, making their knees touch to keep her attention.

“You heard what she did, and couldn’t take it, so you went into her office and drugged her up.”

“No!” Astrid gasped.

“Or maybe you waited until she drugged herself up and slipped some more in?” Pan shrugged. “She have a nice cup of tea before she croaked?”

Tink grabbed his shoulder. “Pan I’m fucking warning you?”

“Or maybe you walked in at the right time?” he smiled cruelly. “Maybe she already overdosed and you made sure she didn’t come back from it.”

“No!” Astrid sobbed. “I would never do something like that, I couldn’t!”

“Yes you can I know you can! I watched you—”

Before he could finish his accusation, someone grabbed him by the collar and pulled him around. In a second he was on the rotting wood, his nose aching and bloody, his head spinning from the adrenaline of it all.

A shout followed next.

And then a thud of something heavy hitting the ground.

The lights danced from the confusion, and for a moment Pan was surrounded by blackness.

Yet somehow it was nearly as terrifying as it should have been.

He smirked, the feeling of blood on his fingers expected but still a unrequited surprise.

He reached across the floor to grab his phone, using the light to illuminate his attacker’s bloody, clenched wrist, and then her face, ready to congratulate Tink on finally getting it all out of her system.

His smile faded some when he saw it was actually Wendy, her eyes bloodshot from unshed tears, her breath labored.

Pan took in a shaky breath, squashing his instinct to fight back.

She needed this. He wanted her to have it.

“I just went to get proof.”

 Pan glanced up at Astrid. “Proof of what? What the hell did you take?”

 “I’m guessing that,” Wendy answered, nodding just behind Tink and Astrid.

 Tink followed her gaze and the sight of the familiar lusterless metal stilled the air in her lungs.

 Astrid hurried to the object, cradling it to her chest.

 “She was asleep when I went in, so I searched for anything to prove what she did. Paperwork or something, but I found this instead.”

 Tink reached out and took the object, the other half of her begotten cross.

 Pan stood, wiping his nose as he addressed the hurting woman.

 “I was going to send it to you later, but I wanted to keep it in case she…”

 “In case she what?” inquired Wendy.

 Astrid looked absolutely miserable. “I…I was planning on leaving the convent for a long time. Leroy finally fixed the engine in his boat and we were going to leave,” she smiled fondly. “We were finally leaving this place.” Astrid shook her head—there was no time for sentimentals. “So, I searched her drawers until I found that, and I was going to call her as soon as I was out of Storybrooke to tell her what I knew.”

 “So that she wouldn’t come after you,” Pan muttered.

 “Exactly,” Astrid concluded wetly. “And—and I swear she was breathing when I left! She was just sleeping! I swear…I don’t know what happened after I left.”

 Tink wrapped her arms around her from behind.

 “Don’t.” Tink breathed. “Don’t say anymore. I believe you. I get it.”

 Wendy gulped, stepping forward in hopes of comforting both of them.

 This is all my fault.

 “Don’t!” Tink sobbed. “Just stay away from me,”

 Astrid pulled away from Tink, holding her hands up in defense.

 “No, Tink she didn’t do any of this!” Astrid proclaimed. “She told Mother Superior she would let her tell you everything.”

 Tink glanced at Wendy, disbelief glassing over her eyes.

 “But you published it anyway,” she said quietly. “You published her filth for the entire town to see.”

 “No she didn’t,” Astrid jumped in before Wendy could defend herself. “She wanted to give you two a chance. Even Pan said—”

 “Pan?” Tink questioned. “What the hell does he have to…”

 Wendy gulped when the realization blossomed in her eyes.

 Pan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was fucked.

 “You did this.” Tink said, not as a question but as a fact. “This was all you…” she paused, her lips twitching until her body shook with rusty laughter.

 “Oh my god of course this was you!” she laughed, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You…you do shit like this all the time!”

 “Tink—”

 “You take…” she breathed in a shaky breath of stale air and limped up to Pan, inches from his stoic face. “Innocent people…their lives…everything they love…and you crush it!”

 Pan remained still, even as the spit flew from her mouth and hit him.

 Let her have this.

 “I trusted you,” Tink cried. “I forgave you even after everything! After you let the psychopath lock me in a fucking drawer!”

 Pan flinched, but kept his gaze with the spitting ex-nun.

 “But why?” Tink gasped. “Why me? Why hurt me like this? Why her!” she motioned to Wendy. “Do you have any idea the things I said to her because of you?”

 Wendy wiped the tears from her cheeks and willed herself to speak for Pan.

 “He wasn’t trying to hurt you Tink—”

 “You stay out of this!” Tink yelled at her. “This is still on you as much as him!”

 “Oh please,” Pan snorted. “She’s doesn’t have the gall to pull something like this.”

 “To ruin lives?” Tink laughed. She glanced briefly at Wendy and nodded. “That much I believe.”

 “This was never to hurt you Tink,” Pan sighed. “This was to take that bitch down once and for all. Wendy just stumbled on the perfect gateway.”

 “Oh please,” Wendy gagged. “You invited yourself to my investigation.”

 “If I hadn’t showed up she would have knocked your ass out and nailed you to a cross.”

 “Sacrilegious much?” Wendy snarked.

 Astrid shook her head. “But who killed her then?”

 Wendy and Pan looked at each other, both wishing they had some kind of answer.

 Tink moved past them and slumped exhaustedly on her barrel.

 “Maybe it really was an accident,” Tink shrugged. “Maybe she took too much Vitacin and…” her shoulders began to quake. “went to sleep.”

 Astrid was by her side in an instant, consoling her friend and releasing her own sorrows.

 Pan stood back, dumbfounded and sobbing women before him.

 All he could see was Felix running after the devil nun as she dragged Tink away…begging her to let her go.

 To set her free.

 “You’re hurting her!”

 “Why!” Pan yelled at them, starling even Wendy.

 “Why are you crying over that bitch? She hurt you both! She hurt so many others! And you shed tears over her? Why? Why aren’t you celebrating?”

 Please thank me. I did this for you.

 “She was my mother, Pan!” Tink screamed.

 “Oh why the hell does that matter now!” he spat.

 “Because if I had found out from her rather than reading it in the fucking paper, maybe we could have a chance?”

 “Chance at what?”

 “To forgive!” Tink cried. “To begin again. To…something.”

 Something.

 Why was it always ‘something’?

 “Now…I’ll never have that.” She rested her head on her clasped hands. Like she was praying.

 To what?

 “I’ll never know what it’s like to have a mom who truly loves me. If she were alive…if I knew everything…I might have had a chance then.”

 Tink’s word cut Wendy to her core. When she first came to Storybrooke she was terrified of losing her mother. Even as she proved victorious in her fight with cancer, that god-awful fear refused to stop chewing at her brain.

 Through the fear there was an intense love that made the cells in her bones sing. Her mother always had her back, always protected from her the ostracizing voices around her.

 The very idea of anyone—especially Tink—not having that, and never having, broke Wendy’s spirit.

 “Tink, I’m so sorry,” Wendy said. Sorry for the investigation. For Tink’s lost youth. Even for Mother Superior and the crater of emotion her death had left on her begotten daughter.

 Pan tensed.

 Not you too. Please Wendy don’t.

 “Well this sob fest isn’t getting us anywhere,” Pan exclaimed. “We need to come up with a plan. Astrid says Mother Superior was still alive when she met. That either means someone finished her off or it really was an accident.”

 “Then let’s just turn ourselves over,” Wendy suggested. “Astrid had nothing to do with Mother Superior’s death, and neither did we.”

 Pan rolled his eyes. “That watchdog will get us for everything else but murder. Breaking and entering, evading the police, knocking out a doctor and stealing an autopsy report—”

 “Half of that is on you!” Wendy shouted at him.

 “Technically you broke into the convent on your own, I just followed you in,” Pan winked.

 “On your suggestion!” Wendy fought.

 “This all started because you couldn’t mind your own damn business!”

 “I was trying to help my friend! What have you done good lately!”

 Before he could fire back, the door to the shed opened with a rusted scream.

 “Astrid!”

 The three gathered around the scared nun, using their bodies as barriers between her and the intruder.

 “Astrid your safe!”

 The three let out a strained breath of relief as Leroy’s stalky body bounded through the shed and took hold of Astrid’s freezing hands.

 “It’s over, they know what happened to Mother Superior! You’re not a suspect any more!”

 “What?” Pan exclaimed.

 Leroy turned to him but his eyes stopped on Tink, his wide thankful grin vanishing at her tear-stained face.

 “Oh Tink.”

 “What is it Leroy,” Pan ordered.

 Wendy watched in uncertainty as the man stumbled for words, for a way to spare Tink from the pain she didn’t deserve.

 However, there were times when one needed to just be…blunt.

 “Tink, they found a suicide note.”

                                                                                                 0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 Wendy rubbed her eyes, exhaustion sinking into her bones. She gasped when she looked at the overhead clock in Graham’s office: 8:30 p.m. This day seemed to be lasting forever.

 Across the room Pan was still wiping dried blood from his bruised nose. Wendy wondered if he felt guilty at all, if he would show any change at all from the experience.

 Then again, she wondered the same thing after the de Vil incident as well as the Jekyll one. He was still cold, and reckless, and illusive.

 Through the glass window she could see Leroy and Astrid standing, looking utterly relieved. Tink was in the other office with Deputy Nolan giving her own statement.

 Wendy couldn’t help but smile. They’d all been to hell and back, but it was all almost over. Astrid and Leroy could begin their lives anew, and Wendy could work on earning Tink’s trust back. She was indirectly responsible for her grief, and as much as she hated to admit it, Pan was right about her busy-bodiness. She shouldn’t have done any of this without Tink’s blessing.

 However, Tink would have closure now, even if forgiveness was a long way off.

 Graham finally walked them to the door, but Astrid looked over her shoulder, smiling brightly at Wendy. The young journalist could see years of stress melt off her face.

 Thank you, she seemed to say.

 “Good,” Wendy sighed, relaxing in her seat. “Good,”

 Graham returned shortly and the two journalists were faced with a new mystery: how were they going to be punished for their various crimes.

 “I should lock both of you up,” Graham said. “This has been a day from hell.”

 “Glad we could add some excitement in your pointless life,” Pan smirked.

 “Shut it!” Graham warned, and though Pan’s smirk didn’t fade he became blessedly quiet.

 “Then…just what are you going to do to us?” Wendy inquired tentatively.

 “Shut up rookie!” Pan hissed. “Never show fear, rule six!”

 “You both shut up!”

 Wendy and Pan both flinched when Sydney’s voice boomed through the police station.

 Wendy herself felt a chill at the site of him, but not necessarily for the rage on his face. Glass had to use a cane due to the back injury he received during the showdown with Jekyll’s lackey. Just the thought of the battle made Wendy’s blood curdle.

 “I leave you two to your own devices for a day and you almost become accessories in a murder!” he yelled at them.

 “Please, we were barely witnesses—”

 “I mean it, Pan!”

Pan stopped talking, but he popped his jaw as loudly as he could just to prove he wasn't going to be put down.

 Glass sighed, leaning tiredly against Graham’s death.

 “This was too close a call, and your actions caused a lot a problems.”

 “That’s journalism, Glass,” Pan muttered.

 “You’re both suspended.”

 “What!” Pan roared.

 “One week.”

 “Like hell we are!” Pan jumped up.

 In a flash Glass had the end of his cane just pressing into Pan’s windpipe. The younger man barely flinched, but he didn’t try to pick a fight.

 “I’m warning you, leave, and shut the hell up,” Glass growled. “Or so help me I will make sure your writing Garden Club updates until the day you die.”

 Wendy could see steam rising from Pan’s skin. He was ready to explode, and he would more than likely take half the block out with him.

 “Go home, Pan,”

 Pan glare turned to Wendy, piercing into her soul. Wendy resisted his heat. She’d accepted her part in this and would gladly accept her punishment. He couldn’t hurt her.

 With a growl Pan slapped Glass’s cane away and stormed out of the office, the concrete of each step sounding as if it was breaking under his seething stomp.

 The rest of the party flinched when Pan slammed the door downstairs.

 “As for you kid,” Glass continued exhaustedly. “I’ll drive you home.”

 Wendy nodded and followed him without protest, avoiding Graham’s downcast eyes.

 The ride to her apartment was slow and quiet, the humming of the heat a dutiful distractor from the slight tension between the two journalists.

 “For what it’s worth, kid,” Glass spoke. “What you did was pretty damn impressive, but this on top of everything else you and Pan have stirred up, it was either cut you down or let Graham cage you.”

 “Duly noted,” Wendy sighed.

 Another short bout of quiet followed until Glass began to shuffle around in his saddle back, worrying the woman with his slight swerving.

 “Check it out,” he said as he handled her a wrinkled paper. “A rought draft of tomorrow’s paper.”

 Wendy gulped at the large printed headline of Mother Superior’s story. She scanned through the story, the first-testimony coming from another nun at the convent who found the note under Mother Superior’s chair after the police left, followed by a statement from Sheriff Graham.

 “How does an entire forensic team miss a suicide note?” Wendy pondered aloud.

 Glass laughed. “I wondered the same thing. I also wondered how the hell Superior overdosed on meds that she took for years.”

 Wendy paused. “That…is weird.”

 She turned the page for the rest of the story and saw a strangely shot picture. She squinted a bit, and found it to be a letter.

 Wendy gasped. “Is this…”

 “Technically yeah,” Glass answered as he slowed at a stop sign. “But there is no way in hell I could actually publish it. Respect for the victim and all that. We replaced it with a photo of her.”

 Wendy nodded absently and turned on the mirror light to better illuminate the page. The letter was sprawled out, obviously hastily written. Wendy pondered if her hurried letter was written out of fear. Fear of the future in her position? Or with the community? Maybe with Tink, if she cared about her at all.

 Wendy couldn’t make out the writing after all, but she couldn’t look away from the letter.

 There was something else. She could feel it in her bones. Buzzing and begging to nestle deeper.

 Until it finds blood.

 She squinted at the letter and while the words were unclear, the penmanship was admirable with it’s curvy cursive. It reminded her of her father’s. It took years of practice to create such longhand, and usually by people who’s livelihood depended on how well they could right. Bankers, like her father, secretariws, lawyers…

 Wendy’s blood went cold.

 “Kid?”

 It found the blood. 

Wendy grabbed her bag and dumped its contents in her lap, searching hastily for the one scrap of evidence that would tie this nightmare together.

And she did.

Wrinkled under a slew of pens was Mr. Gold’s cell number on his business card.

 The l’s on the card and in the letter were the same.

 “Kid are you listening?”

 Wendy clutched the card in her hand and opened the door, causing Glass to come to a screeching halt.

 “The hell! Wendy?” he barely dodged her seatbelt hitting him in the face as she sprinted from the car.

 “Wendy? Wendy!”

 Wendy blocked him out, blocked anything out that would prevent her from getting to Mr. Gold in time.

 It was ironic really.

 The only time she ran in a panic was to evade a foe, yet for once she wasn’t running from a monster.

 She was running to one.

                                                                                 0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 It was well past closing by the time she reached Gold’s shop, yet the lights were still on and the man himself was behind his desk, seeming to fill out paperwork.

 Or more suicide letters. Wendy thought bitterly.

 The door was locked, and Gold looked up when he heard someone jimmying the lock.

 Through the glass she could see his lip tug in a half smile, and she resisted throwing the nearest rock through the door.

 “A bit late, isn’t it Miss Darling?” he greeted when he let her in.

 “You did this,” Wendy seethed when he closed the door.

 “You’ll have to be a bit more specific,” he countered as he limped back to his desk.

 Wendy rushed after him and threw his business card on the glass.

 “You wrote Mother Superior’s suicide letter,” Wendy gasped. “It’s your handwriting!”

 Gold simply stared at her, brilliantly masking any fear or being caught or surprise that Wendy had put the pieces together so soon.

 “That is a very serous accusation, Miss Darling,”

 “But not untrue,” Wendy calculated. “Do not lie to me, Gold. We’ve been completely honest with each other up to this point.”

 Gold nodded in agreement. “Indeed we have,”

 “So its true then?” Wendy gulped. “You wrote her letter?”

 Gold simply stared at her, and Wendy could almost think it was Pan.

 And as Pan he would do, Gold tilted his head and chuckled, low and humorous. Dark.

 “Why?” Wendy breathed. “Why would you do something so…heinous?”

 Gold shook his head, his smirk becoming more of a tired grin.

 “A variety of reasons really. Not that her dark little secret was out, I no long had the leverage I needed to keep her in my corner. She was disposable.”

 “She was human!” Wendy yelled.

 “She,” Gold seethed, “was a vile woman who used fear to manipulate people to do her bidding.”

 “Like you?” Wendy scoffed.

 “I always give the people I deal with something in return.”

 Wendy shook her head. She couldn’t believe this. This was a nightmare. When was she going to wake up?

 “Did you kill her?” Wendy inquired.

 Gold actually scoffed, as if being accused of murder was below him.

 “I simply put everything into place. She handled the dirty bits.”

 “But the letter…”

 “Was the only way you and Sister Astrid would ever be clear.” He concluded, his tone dropping more seriously. “If her death remained labeled an accident, the eyes of the town would have stayed on you forever. They’d never trust you, never accept you because suspicion wins out every time.”

 “No,” Wendy shook her head.

 “And then of course there was Sister Astrid’s unintentional role in all of this,” Mr. Gold said in a low, almost sarcastic tone. “She would have been arrested, being the last person in her office and all,”

 “We would have helped her!”

 “And ruin yourself in the process,” Gold pointed out. “This is what is best for everyone, dearie. You’re all free now. Why not fly and leave the matter be?”

 “Because it’s still wrong!” Wendy gasped. “You meddled with evidence and put a horrible light on her death. That is how she’s going to be remembered.”

 “As she should be,” Gold growled. “That woman was no saint, and now she can receive the reputation she finally deserves.”

 “No…” Wendy gasped. This was wrong. So wrong.

 Gold sighed. “You’re a smart woman, Miss Darling. I no doubt you’ll see the benefit in this soon enough.”

 Wendy glared at him, holding back tears.

 “But you’re also a kind one,” Gold added, picking up his business phone and placing it in front of Wendy. “You have a good heart. I saw that yesterday with Miss la Bell,” he paused for a moment. “And with Belle.”

 Wendy gulped.

 “If you truly believe that revealing my folly is the right thing to do, then go ahead,” he tapped on the phone. “Expose me.”

 Wendy’s fingers flinched, itching to take the phone, call Sheriff Graham, and end this whole thing.

 “But I know you won’t do it.”

 Wendy’s hand shot back.

 “And just why do you think that?”

 That eerie smirk returned.

 “Because deep down you know I’m right. That Pan is right.”

 “Stop.”

 “And I think he’s in your bones now,” he nodded convinced. “And I think you do too.”

 “Why the hell would you say that!”

 Gold tapped on the phone again. “Because you’re not picking up the phone.”

 Wendy took in a shaky breath, willing her hand to rise.

 You’re just as filthy and selfish as he is.

 “That’s not true.”

 You're setting yourself up for a world of trouble if you stay here.

 “No I’m not.”

 This town, that…maniac you call a boyfriend, they're going to ruin you.

 “I’m not like him.” She reached for the phone but couldn’t will the nerves in her body to pick it up.

 I just want to be free.

 She was no saint.

 And next time

 No one's going to run back here to save you

 Wendy released the phone and got out of Gold’s shop as fast as she could, just missing the satisfied look on his face.

 “Fly, fly, little bird.”

 Her lungs were on fire by the time she reached her apartment, her vision blurring. By shear instinct she was able to find her own apartment.

 She didn’t feel safe until her door was closed and locked. Until she was past her bedroom. Until she was in the deep polished tub where she could blame the sickening noises that left her throat on the aging pipes.

[thesportssoundoff]

“Boom or bust potential off the charts” UFC on ESPN 4 Preview

Joey

July 15th, 2019

Another event on ESPN, another makeshift card! These ESPN cards seem to have a bit of a theme or rhythm to them now; give folks a name main event, give them a main card featuring fighters they've had in fights they may/may not care about and then just fill in the rest of the prelim slate. That's no different here with the UFC's return to San Antonio where there's a "name" (sorta) main event, a main card filled with names like Ben Rothwell, Andrei Arlovski, Greg Hardy, James Vick, Daniel Hooker, Alexander Hernandez and Walt Harris and the prelims are just kinda there with intriguing fights featuring people you've probably never heard of. The headliner for this ESPN gimmick is Rafael Dos Anjos vs Leon Edwards; a solid welterweight fight on paper well worthy of the main event spot even if the "winner" is somewhat inconsequential to the title picture. It's as close as we're going to get in theory to an all doughy guy bonanza so settle in, pour yourself a drink and get after it!

Fights: 13

Debuts: Gabriel Silva, Domingo Pilarte

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 1 (Liz Carmouche OUT, Jennifer Maia IN vs Roxanne Modafferi)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 13 (Rafael Dos Anjos, Leon Edwards, Greg Hardy, Aleksei Oleinik, James Vick, Dan Hooker, Andrei Arlovski, Ben Rothwell, Alex Caceres, Raquel Pennington, Sam Alvey, Roxanne Modafferi, Ray Borg)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 6 (Andrei Arlovski, Ben Rothwell, James Vick, Rocky Pennington, Ray Borg, Sam Alvey)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 3 (Leon Edwards, Walt Harris, Irene Aldana)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2017 (in the UFC): 33-20 (2)

Leon Edwards- 5-0 Rafael Dos Anjos- 4-2 Walt Harris- 4-2-1 Aleksei Olenik- 4-2 James Vick- 4-2 Dan Hooker- 4-1 Greg Hardy- 1-1 Juan Adams- 1-1 Alexander Hernandez- 2-1 Francisco Trinaldo- 2-2 Andrei Arlovski- 2-5-1 Ben Rothwell- 0-1

Fights By Weight Class (yearly number here):

Bantamweight- 3 (39) Heavyweight- 3 (21) Lightweight- 2 (44) Welterweight- 1 (39) Light Heavyweight- 1 (29) Featherweight-  1 (34) Women’s Bantamweight- 1 (13) Women’s Flyweight- 1 (19)

Middleweight- (23) Women’s Strawweight- (19) Flyweight- (8) Women’s Featherweight- (6)

2019 Number Tracker

Debuting Fighters (20-41)- Domingo Pilarte, Gabriel Silva

Short Notice Fighters (19-27)- Jennifer Maia

Second Fight (38-16)- Mario Bautista, Jin Soo Son, Klidson Abreu, Felipe Corrales

Cage Corrosion (Fighters who have not fought within a year of the date of the fight) (14-27)-

Undefeated Fighters (25-28)-  Gabriel Silva

Fighters with at least four fights in the UFC with 0 wins over competition still in the organization (9-8)-

Weight Class Jumpers (Fighters competing outside of the weight class of their last fight even if they’re returning BACK to their “normal weight class”) (19-17)- Felipe Corrales

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- A lot of folks took offense to Dana White not rushing to grant a #1 contender in the WW division but let's play this out real quick:

Jorge Masvidal has two back to back highlight reel KOs

Tyron Woodley is still around and has a justifiable claim to being the #1 contender

If Colby Covington beats Robbie Lawler, he'll have wins over RDA, Lawler, Bryan Barberena, Demian Maia and Stun Gun Kim in the past three years

If Robbie Lawler beats Colby Covington, he's the super popular former champ who beat Donald Cerrone and then Colby Covington

If Anthony Pettis beats Nate Diaz then he's got wins over two of the more recognizable faces in the UFC on back to back fights

Nate Diaz may have been a simple “Yes” away from a title fight in December of 2017 so let’s see what happens if he beats Pettis

Guys like Elizeu Zaleski, Vicente Luque and Santiago Ponzinibbio are racking up finishes and wins at a crazy rate

Then you throw in these two guys and you can see why a clogged picture with an inactive champion is not ideal at all. Leon Edwards took a big step up from beating the so-so guys on the European scene to racking up wins over the likes of Bryan Barberena, Donald Cerrone and Gunnar Nelson. He's a tremendous welterweight who has a not so thrilling style at a time where the UFC kind of sort of has a very hit or miss level of interest. It would be tough to deny a guy on this kind of winning streak (finishes or otherwise) that he isn't a top contender. With a win by RDA, It's totally fair to point out that RDA will have snapped Leon Edwards' winning streak after stopping Kevin Lee with wins over Robbie Lawler and Neil Magny backing that up. RDA was dominated by Kamaru Usman so he's probably not in the title picture with a win but his value only goes up if he develops into that title shot gatekeeper/contender. The UFC's welterweight division is very cluttered and Usman being out has only made it even more cluttered.

2- Does the makeshift-y nature of this fight allow put RDA in the driver's seat? Rafael Dos Anjos has been frequently tasked to become a short notice main eventer a la Donald Cerrone as evidenced as recently as 2017 where he fought in June, September and then December. Guy keeps himself busy and if you remove the 15 lb weight cut, he's more inclined to take quicker turnaround fights. Leon Edwards tends to be the kind of guy who fights on a bit more of a laid back fighter sched; often popping up whenever the UFC needs a fight in Europe. It's also worth remembering that RDA is pretty much used to these grueling violent in tight fights (which Edwards is going to chase) and seems to always be surprisingly well conditioned despite the pacing. Edwards will probably be the hardest hitting WW that RDA has faced since Robbie Lawler but even Lawler was compromised by a torn ACL but he's also a space and pace guy who either needs to be far away or in REAL tight to operate. This fight is as close as the numbers would suggest it to be.

3- He had zero problems dealing with Donald Cerrone in Singapore so it's probably not a big deal BUT it is worth pointing out just for sniggles that Edwards' two UFC losses have come outside of Europe. Consider this one a Pondering padder if anything.

4- It wasn't his first loss ever BUT Alexander Hernandez is coming off of his first stoppage loss at the hands of Donald Cerrone. The UFC apparently had designs on him coming back sooner but he took a bit more time off. Trinaldo is not much of a one shot finisher but he's really strong, is abnormally good despite his age and if he senses a fighter wilting, he tends to pour on the pressure. Trinaldo's sort of settled into the bottom half of the top 15 in my estimation while Hernandez has top 10 upside on paper but has sort of looked overwhelmed at times vs Donald Cerrone and Olivier Aubin-Mercier. I'm not sure if he'll ever really reach that upside although I'm betting on upside still. Hernandez vs Francisco Trinaldo is an interesting fight between two guys who could really use a high profile win.

5- The UFC signed Walt Harris in 2013. He's officially in a co-main event in 2019. He was cut once, suspended for PEDs once, a no contest, a DQ loss, had two not fights vs Mark Godbeer, fought Werdum at 3 hours notice and now has finally elevated himself up to co-main event status. Hard work (and being around when nobody else is around) has paid off!

6- Seriously though when you consider that Walt Harris and Olenik are in the co-main and Rothwell and Arlovski are still kickin' around at this point, is it any surprise the UFC is TRYING to make a somebody out of the Adams vs Hardy winner?

7- The winner of Aspen Ladd vs Germaine de Randamie was always going to have a slight step up over her but it's fair to point out that Irene Aldana has a relatively clear path to a title shot now.  Aldana is on a three fight winning streak (and I thought she beat Chookagian so it could in theory be four in a row) and Rocky Pennington if she's "right" is probably the best test of whether she's gotten over the stylistic woes that hurt her vs the likes of Evinger and Leslie Smith. Pennington has relatively good striking when she chooses to let it go, works the body well vs fighters who like to move, has a tremendous array of chokes she can go to at any time as evidenced by her subbing Ashlee Evans-Smith, Jessica Andrade and nearly breaking Meisha Tate's neck in the process of one. Aldana has struggled with fighters who can box her straight up and in and when she's needed to hit with some pop, it hasn't always been there in fights. This is really about whether Pennington's first two losses can be attributed to rust (and talent) vs whether Aldana has tightened up the really big holes in her game that prevented her from achieving success early in her UFC run. Pennington when right is a tremendous pressure action brawler while the "perfect" form of Aldana is something like a Max Holloway; an output machine who can rack up points offensively with scrambles and submissions to back up her potent striking game. IF both fighters are right (and Pennington thus far post leg break is a mystery), we could be looking at a fantastic fight.

8- Andrei Arlovski is about to embark on yet another career renaissance! Maybe. Or maybe not. Arlovski is 0-3-1 in his last four fights and he's really truly 0-4. He has shown signs of life though! He gave Tai Tuavasa some problems before he just got clinch elbowed mercilessly down the stretch and against Agusto Sakai, I think most people would say he deserved the nod. The "new" Arlovski is not as good as the guy in 2014 and 2015 who reinvented himself as he's slower, doesn't hit as hard, is perhaps way too patient for his own good and spends most rounds teasing his right hand because it's pretty much his key weapon at this point. I'm actually figuring he vs Rothwell will be a ton of fun for a round or so. At the same time, this fight pretty much exemplifies the "You know these guys now watch them fight!" aspect of matchmaking.

9- Totally forgot Rothwell vs Arlovski is a rematch.

10- Really curious to see what remains of Dan Hooker after that brutal as shit fight with Edson Barboza. He's got an opponent who can he style on offensively in James Vick but Vick offensiely provides all sorts of problems for Hooker defensively. I also feel like Hooker vs Vick is going to prove yet another story about intense MMA weight cuts one way or another.

11- Somebody in the UFC office decided to put Roxanne Modaferri and Sam Alvey back to back on a card ON ESPN and I hate them so much on a visceral level.

12- They're buried on the card but the trio of bantamweight fights are all pretty interesting. Domingo Pilarte vs Felipe Corrales is interesting because Pilarte had the best DWCS fight of all time (vs 1-2 UFC vet Vince Morales) and Felipe Corrales is fighting in the dangerous "it's their second UFC Fight so they're good now" weight class. Jin Soo Son had a BRAWL with Petr Yan in his debut and is a massive 135-lber while Mario Bautista showed glimpses of high level athleticism at least while getting ran through vs Cory Sandhagen. Lastly you have debuting undefeated fighter Gabriel Silva vs Ray Borg and man does Ray Borg need a win in the worst way. He also absolutely needs to make weight here too.

[hethrewmyheartinthecut]

Peaky Match Quiz: Written Version

EDIT (11/13/18) FORGET THIS! A way easier version, a full one-stop shop, is right here. I guarantee it’s faster easier and more beautiful than the stuff below.

Please remember to write your answers down! (For example, bbacebbdaebaccecdeaa.) At the end of the quiz, you’ll have to submit them to get your match number!

1. What WWI-era job did you have?

a) nurse

b) soldier

c) translator

d) diplomat

e) spy

2. Big spoon or little spoon?

a) big spoon most of the time

b) little spoon most of the time

c) either one is good

d) I’d rather not sleep with anyone

e) that’s a false binary, hoe

3. If you could, what would you splurge on?

a) a new bike

b) a massive bookshelf

c) a music streaming subscription

d) a canoe

e) a walk-in closet

4. Let’s say your ship goes down and you’re rationing food for the people left on your small lifeboat. You have one extra piece of food. Who do you give it to?

a) my cousin

b) the youngest person there

c) the oldest person there

d) I assign it randomly, leaving it to luck

e) give??? that’s MY food

5. What action movie character are you?

a) the hero, blam blam

b) he hero’s ex, who has moved on and made a fabulous life for themselves

c) the wise old sage that everyone goes to for life advice, love, and the occasional asskicking

d) the cutie/sidekick that sacrifices themselves to save the world

e) the tech cutie with the laptop that gets to drink as much coffee as they want

6. Who’s your favorite Greek god?

a) Athena, goddess of wisdom & strategy, grey eyes aesthetic, and getting all As

b) Aphrodite, goddess of hoes, lovers, and hoe lovers, judging nobody, and looking good as fuck with seashell-braided hair

c) Hades, god of keeping a VERY LONG grudge, death/the underworld, and ‘I wish that people wouldn’t die because I hate spending time with them’

d) Artemis, goddess the forest, ace lesbian separatism, and tearing creeps apart w/ her good doggos

e) Dionysus, god of a l c o h o l, parties where literally everyone’s invited, and fuckwit tomfoolery

7. There’s a bar fight. What’s going on?

a) I don’t know and I don’t care.

b) me, bitch! I don’t even know how but I’m out here and I’m having a great time

c) I started the fight but I’m standing over in a corner watching for the fun of it

d) protecting my little brother went a lil too far

e) I’ve studied everyone here and I can make significant money off betting who’ll win

8. What is your supervillain origin story?

a) A lot of bad shit happened to me and nobody seemed to care, so I figured I’d get revenge.

b) Like Robespierre, I wanted equal rights for everybody, and like Robespierre, I got a lil too enthusiastic with the guillotine.

c) I thought I could do a better job of running things than those in power…and I was right.

d) My best friend got into supervillainy recently, and damned if I’m gonna let them go it alone.

e) I was born for this fucking role. Being evil is FUN.

9. Tell me about your pet.

a) My horse is short and sturdy and it can carry me all across the country.

b) My cat is super old and kind of blind, so I guide it around outside on a leash, but it’s cuddly af.

c) My dog is big enough to guard me when I walk around at night.

d) My fish breed fast and are really tasty. (What? I’M A HUNGRY HOE)

e) My puppy is a so smart, I’m currently training it to fetch the newspaper.

10. Choose a journey to take.

a) Caribbean island trip w/ bae

b) service/learning trip to rural Vietnam w/ a bunch of friends

c) whole family in a bunch of mountain cabins, Alberta, Canada

d) London, UK by myself

e) Cape Town, South Africa for the culture with the cool cousins

11. In a fantasy AU, what magic talisman helped you gain power?

a) the amulet of persuasion

b) the sword of savagery

c) the elixir of love

d) the tome of wizardry

e) the majesty of a swift kick to the ass

12. Pick a classic imagine.

a) hurt/comfort, and y/n is doing the comforting

b) hurt/comfort, and y/n is the one that got hurt

c) y/n and y/n’s significant other go off to war together

d) y/n’s significant other returns from war

e) y/n makes their significant other “feel good” *smirk emoji*

13. What’s a vice of yours?

a) selfishness

b) anger

c) laziness

d) self-righteousness

e) greed

14. What’s a virtue of yours?

a) selflessness

b) patience

c) empathy

d) bravery

e) honor

15. Which Fuck You Tommy moment do you feel most deeply in your soul?

a) Tommy: “The gin?” May: “Too sweet.”

b) Ada: “Do you know how unfair it is that you’ve got four Bugattis when half the country’s starving?”

c) Tommy: “May I smoke?” Linda: “No.”

d) Polly: “Do you know, it was a fine speech you made in there, about this company believing in equal rights for women. But when it comes to it, you don’t listen to a word we say.”

e) Tommy: “If you ever talk about getting lost again, I will cut you from this family.” Esme: “What family?”

16. What’s your free time OTP?

a) knitting & gossiping (read: talking shit)

b) rugby & casual homosexualité

c) cooking & harvesting compliments from guests

d) writing & astral projecting

e) riding horses & becoming one with the earth

17. Pick a knife.

a) swiss army knife

b) penknife

c) butter knife

d) stiletto knife

e) hunting knife

18. What’s one key moment from your relationship with your partner?

a) I was inspired by them to find a cure for a deadly disease, saving thousands, and it was hella romantic

b) I shared my deepest darkest secrets with them through my art and it was hella romantic

c) I proposed to them by using every member of my family holding up cue cards at appropriate moments and it was hella romantic

d) I killed a [insert Immigrant Ethnicity™ here for Maximum Peaky Accuracy] for them and it was hella romantic

e) we rickrolled their grandma and skeedaddled with all the Inheritance Cash and it was hella romantic?

19. Pick a song from 2018.

a) NFWMB by Hozier

b) breathin by Ariana Grande

c) Apeshit by Beyoncé and Jay Z

d) Geyser by Mitski

e) 0 to 100 / The Catch up by Drake (*it’s from 2015 but I’m tired)

20. What’s the mood, babe?

a) country boyyy, I love you

b) THIS BITCH EMPTY, YEET

c) today’s forecast, we can clearly see, is somebody got me fucked UP. fucked UP.

d) pronos and froo-aights and coricles. penapeeples. papaYEAH? banaynays. cantalapoops. shampaganay manjuice. WHAT the…??

e) hi I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never learned how to fukcin read

Great job! Submit your answers (for example, bbacebbdaebaccecdeaa) HERE and I will run the program that evaluates your answers and let you know your match number!

Once you have your match number, you can find it in this masterlist and find out which Peaky characters you’re most compatible with!

[captaincanarygotmelike]

CC Scene Compilation!!!

LINK

Okay so this has all been a lot, but I finally have the CC scene compilation ready!!! Thank you to those who sent suggestions about how to upload it because it was a challenge, and it is available here as well as the link above. It is quite lengthy, and like I said, there are some serious stretches so below the cut (bc it’s literally five pages in a doc and I’m 10/10 not gonna take up your feed with it) is a commentary of sorts that sorta resembles my old snapchat recaps. Anyway I had a lot of fun doing this and I hope you enjoy watching it!

0:00 - how fucking dARE THEY delete this scene

0:21 - you can’t tell me he isn’t checking her out aLSO birth of killer, klepto, and pyro

0:44 - walk walk fashion baby

1:00 - OKAY i have so much to say about this scene here we go

          1) captain canary song

          2) len and mick’s expressions

                2a) mick already knows len’s in trouble

          3) can we talk about how fuckin dramatic len is like mick paid two whole dollars for those beers you did not need to throw them onto   the ground with such passion

2:40 - i know people have said this before but when ray says “whats the point of us even giving this a second thought” hE LOOKS RIGHT AT SARA

3:01 - the way i cut these scenes makes it look like it’s not cut at all whoops but also len is saying a wedding thing cOINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT

3:28 - i’m laughing so hard look at how his expression changes when he’s talking to sara vs carter

3:48 - in sync

3:57 - look at rip’s expression when len leans down to sara he knows somethings up

5:10 - i literally just put this in bc it’s super badass

5:24 - prison break reference #687574848 also their fckn expressions at *5:59* like subtlety is not their strong suit

6:03 - it took until 1x5 to get a one-on-one CC scene like wtf is up with that also *7:10* THE WAY HE SAYS HER NAME also *7:11* birth of crook/assassin

7:23 - what a good husband trying to stop her from killing one of their teammates #relationshipgoals

8:00 - Sara is backseat driving as a fuckn corpse and I can’t handle it

8:52 - gimme a second this scene will make sense here i swear

9:29 - to continue WHAT A FCKN HYPOCRITE he wanted mick to leave ray in a whole russian gulag but he’s super chill about leaving mick in the middle of rampaging prisoners to find sara yes this is indeed a callout post

9:40 - what a good husband pt. 2 also absent rip ex machina

10:26 - the way len looks at her literally destroys me

10:35 - acknowledging the husband’s achievements

10:51 - i put more of the scene in than i needed to bc the convo between rip/mick makes me laugh every time aLSO len and sara are talking about the in-laws

11:15 - len is all chill and then when not-slade mentions sara he’s like dafuq did you say

11:35 - the way sara looks at him i can’t handle it

11:58 - first of all, everything mick does is mood, second of all look at them playing cards

12:35 - eYE SEX 

13:23 - once again i cut two scenes to look like-ish one but the way she looks at him i can’t handle it

13:51 - okay so i’m not a doctor or anything involving medical anything but why are they gonna die? hypothermia? this is a lot of drama about a room that’s uncomfortably cold also if gideon knows that two team people are gonna die if the door doesn’t open, she should be able to open the doors. she says that “the bulkhead is designed to stay shut” but isn’t she the “designer”? like can’t she just change or override the code or whatever? okay rant over

14:16 - aww look at them bonding also *15:00* Sara you’re lYING

15:53 - okay i feel like they’re dragging this out a long time but aLSO SOMEONE tell me there’s a fic of when Len gives sara his jacket ALSO isn’t this about when Len switches over to wearing just a normal leather jacket cOINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT

16:43 - Sara’s expression i literally can’t aLSO *17:00* nOBODY can tell me he looked back at aNYBODY except Sara

17:11 - once again this will make sense in just a moment alSO note that at the end of the scene *17:39* captain out-cold is still lying in a fckn heap on the floor

17:40 - this means that Leonard somehow dragged himself to wherever the fuck mick and sara are to help her i mean like when i fall up the stairs i always have to take a second and be like am i okay? did i survive this? and literally seconds ago he was unconscious or something yet here he is and if that isn’t love idk what is

17:51 - okay i swear len and sara are looking at each other over the holo table

18:07 - i literally just put this in because of how he says her name

18:16 - aww he did the thing where you’re looking at someone and then they look over and you pretend you weren’t checking them out

18:20 - first of all why the fUCK is rip putting in those eye things FIVE FEET AWAY FROM THE GUARD HE DID NOT COME PREPARED also that look between len and sara like are they married or what

19:04 - this banter i can’t handle it also rip is so done with them

19:40 - they’re finishing each other’s sentences

19:52 - she’s talking about her husband

20:22 - guys this is probably my favorite cc scene no joke

20:25 - okay so i don’t remember why i put this scene in but they’re standing really close to each other and i’m here for it

21:34 -  look at them fighting this is relationship goals

21:45 - captain “let’s all just calm down” my ass this is another of my favorite scenes like he’s normally so chilled out (pun intended) but then he sees sara in danger and he’s like uh fuck no

23:04 - first of all the cut at 23:12 is the worst editing i’ve ever seen like how did they get away with that they’re literally standing in completely different places but also LOOK AT LEN’S SMILE AT SARA PLAYING WITH THE GUN

23:37 - is this not the most badass thing you’ve ever seen

23:49 - sara crossing her fingers is fckn adorable and also len looks over to her don’t even argue with me about it

23:55 - the banter i can’t handle it

24:04 - okay so this might be a biiiit of a stretch BUT i sWEAR len is checking out sara’s ass look out i’m gonna get scientific here but considering how far he had to look over to watch stein there is no way he was looking at the holo table just sayin

24:18 - kendra knows things also this whole scene is adorable

25:06 - i don’t remember why i thought this was a cc scene but they’re together and i’m 10/10 here for it

25:12 - they’re talking about the in-laws again

25:20 - height difference

25:33 - i spy a bit of jealousy

25:46 - listen to the marital banter

25:55 - someone save me from this scene there’s like nine seats around them and sara chose to sit on the ground where she’s closer to len and also they’re passing the bottle back and forth and they look like a goddamned married couple and i cAN’T HANDLE IT

27:19 - killer klepto and pyro back at it again

28:16 - this implies that he’s tried to distract her in the past and all i can say is where’s the fic?

28:36 - guys i have so much to say about this scene and i already have here but i sWEAR TO GOD its the scene sara realizes she’s in love with len you can fight me on this aLSO gideon is an asshole

30:32 - banter game real strong

31:00 - this is starting to make me so sad bc i just feel like there’s a such a strong connection between the two of them here and then it all blows up (too soon) but also their little smiles at the end of the scene is so freakin cute i can’t handle it

32:08 - sara keeps looking over at len also he’s finishing her sentences and also ray came here to have a good time and honestly he’s feeling so attacked rn (although tbh nobody is hitting him that hard) also sara’s smile at the end in conclusion this scene is hella underrated

34:08 - okay this scene is too much for me but also to all the people who said “it came out of nowhere” like first of all wtf were you even watching the last 14 episodes? but also i think len’s line “it’s the things i didn’t do that keep me up at night” is the perfect way to be like hey so this was going on but len doesn’t like to talk about his feelings okay so this scene is too much for me and his smile at the end is hurting me

35:25 - guys i’m not ready

35:43 - guys i’m actually crying like it’s so not fair that we got to see len become such a good person and i know i’m biased but i truly believe that captain canary was the best developed ship we’ve ever had on the show and it sucks so hard that we never got to see them in an actual relationship like i really feel like it would have been so good but it literally never got mentioned again after this episode like even in 1x16 like wtf is up with that anyway sorry i’m ending this on such a sad note but literally all i want in life is just a bit more CC before the show eventually ends like is that too much to ask for

also i didn’t put in the scene where the oculus blows up bc look did it actually ever happen idk

[jokertrap-ran]

BAD MEDICINE ~Infectious teachers~ [PC GAME] Nagihara Taiki (Mathematics) Route Translations (Good END)

MC’s name is retained as the original MC name Kawana Hina.

* Words within ‘   ‘ are spoken in English – *Spoiler free : Translations under cut!

Prologue / Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5/ Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16 / Part 17 / Part 18 / Bad END / Ruin END / Doll END / Good END

Hina: Sensei! ...Nagihara-sensei!

Nagihara: …………!

Hina: Please wait! Won't you hear me out just a little…?

Nagihara: ...It's against the school regulations to run in the corridors, Kawana-san.

Nagihara: You're someone who's being subjected to Special Guidance. Or would you rather be expelled?

Hina: Haa...Haa, Haa…! I-I apologize…But I'll take any punishments for violating the school rules later.

Hina: So hear me out! You're wrong. I think you're misunderstanding something here.

Nagihara: I'm misunderstanding something? What do you mean by that?

Hina: You said that your own father was nothing but trash.

Nagihara: ...Did I say something of that sort? I don't really remember but yes, what of it?

Hina: You're nothing like your father at all!

Nagihara: I thought you had something worth listening to for a second but this is just plain ridiculous.

Nagihara: Besides, haven't I told you to stop stepping into the private matters of others?

Nagihara: ...You don't even know me in the first place so what are you to say anything about me?

Hina: I know that you're really just a kind person at heart!

Nagihara: ……How shameless. Is that your way of flattering me?

Hina: No. I’m saying this because I only came to love mathematics after I met you! Even though it was a subject I was really weak at!

Nagihara: I really didn’t think that my words would get to you considering how you were struggling with an exercise book of mathematical problems whilst in tears.

Hina: I do feel frustrated every once in a while, not being able to solve it… But I won’t stop because it’s fun.

Hina: Of course, the guidance was terrifying and it’s not a good feeling to get yelled at when you’re angry but...

Hina: I’m starting to think that I don’t fancy being scolded in that manner anymore.

Hina: So I think I’ll meet those expectations of yours to prevent that from happening. I’ll do my best before I can get scolded!

Nagihara: ………...

Hina: And… You’ve also been patiently encouraging me whenever I can’t solve a problem.

Hina: And you’ve even made an exercise book of mathematical problems specially for me this time!

Nagihara: That was only because you’re dumber than dumb...

Hina: You were about to chase me off and I who knows, you might have just expelled me from school, but you never did.

Hina: You were the one who taught me how fun it is to face my issues… So, that’s why...

Hina: That’s why I wanted to score 100 marks no matter what I had to do for your sake!

Hina: I was really happy to hear that you were expecting things from me. So...I’m really sorry that I betrayed your expectations.

Nagihara: You’re really... --Haa...

Nagihara: ………... Please raise your head.

Hina: (...Huh…? He’s smiling?)

Nagihara: Listen well. It’s actually an incredible feat to be the top scorer for mathematics in this school.

Nagihara: You ought to feel prouder of your achievement. There’s no need for you to pull that miserable face when you look at those 99 marks you’ve gotten.

Hina: Sensei...

Nagihara: I know best how hard you worked for those 99 marks.

Nagihara: You’ve really worked hard.

Hina: (This feels like a dream… He’s actually...Smiling gently and patting my head…)

Nagihara: It’s not a bad thing at all, praising someone like that.

Hina: I thought you’d have completely given up on me… And be utterly disappointed in me this time...

Nagihara: I was indeed annoyed. I was annoyed by how you clenched your teeth and continued try to solve the questions you could never attain the answers to.

Nagihara: I always thought that you should just give up since you can’t solve them no matter how hard you try.

Nagihara: Yet...You never once gave up. I thought it was incredibly ludicrous.

Nagihara: It was just as if I was looking… at my past self.

Hina: Your past...self?

Nagihara: My father’s an individual who only holds interest in mathematics. He never did care for me when my older brother was still alive. My brother was a genius.

Nagihara: However, when my brother died young.. My father finally faced me for the first time in my life and found himself utterly disappointed at my abilities.

Nagihara: Some call it despair. He told me that I would be better off dead instead of my brother for the sake of the mathematical world.

Hina: That’s so mean of him...

Nagihara: But there was nothing else I could do at that time other than to cling to mathematics with all my life.

Nagihara: My brother… He could freely manipulate those beautiful figures and he respected my father.

Nagihara: I still didn’t manage to reach the same heights my brother had attained no matter how hard I tried.

Hina: (The praise he gave me earlier… I’m sure that was something he had yearned to hear from his father himself...)

Hina: (He’d always wanted his father to praise him for those 99 marks he got through all the hard work he put in...)

Hina: (And he bestowed those words upon me...They were so important to him...)

Hina: I thought that 1 and 99 marks were the same because they weren’t a 100 marks. I was really depressed because I thought that there was no meaning to me obtaining 99 marks.

Hina: But...I guess I want to be happy about these 99 marks I got now.

Nagihara: Yes. I think...That those 99 marks you’ve gotten are more worthy than a 100.

Nagihara: Thank you. I think I can forgive my past a little more now.

Hina: Sensei...

Nagihara: --However, it’s still too early to be lax.

Hina: Wha…?

Nagihara: I’ll give you ample remedials to cover that 1 mark you’ve lost. Do you hear me?

Hina: Yes! I’ll be in your care and I’ll do my best…!!

Hina: So...I have to substitute X here and... Like this?

Nagihara: Yes, that’s correct.

Hina: Yay! I did it!! I finally solved it!! I’m so happy because I was stressing out over it ever since yesterday!

Nagihara: Good work. It’s great that you managed to clear it, if anything.

Hina: Oh! There's still another question I’d like to ask you regarding.

Nagihara: I did tell you to try solving this exercise book of mathematical problems to test your skills but… It seems like this is more a problem of familiarity than your actual skills itself.

Hina: S-Sorry! I know that this has nothing to do with class but I feel troubled not being able to solve it.

Nagihara: You’re really a stubborn individual. Really, don’t you get tired of doing this every day?

Nagihara: Oblivious to the feelings of others… I might even be jealous of mathematics one day when it comes down to it.

Hina: Hm? Did you just say something?

Nagihara: ...No, nothing.

Hina: Oh! There it is. It’s this one here.

Nagihara: I see...You’ve done quite a fair bit of it but it’s all just a misunderstanding. May I?

Hina: Eh? Oh…!

Hina: (Sensei? That’s my pen you’re holding…)

Nagihara: It will be -1 < a < 0 over here and the largest portion will be -2 a + b + 1. Which means-

Hina: (Didn’t he say that it felt disgusting to be holding the pens of others? Maybe he hasn’t realized…?)

Nagihara: …? What’s the matter? Are you listening to me?

Hina: I’m listening!

Nagihara: So, were you lying when you told me you didn’t know how to solve this? You seem lax enough to be staring so intently at my face.

Hina: It wasn’t a lie or anything! The question was really hard so there were many things I couldn’t understand,

Nagihara: Oh? What a coincidence, me too.

Hina: Huh…?

Nagihara: I can’t help but to return that gaze of yours for your face turns red whenever I do so. It’s really amusing to watch.

Nagihara: My heart goes wild thanks to that and the numbers don’t exactly wish to stay within the confines of my head.

Hina: T-That’s just! You’re...lying aren’t you.

Nagihara: Indeed, it was just a joke.

Hina: Hey! Don’t make a fool out of me!

Nagihara: Hehe. Let’s carry on then.

Nagihara: Okay? Please follow what I have to say closely.

Hina: (He’s so mean! He does that even know he knows that it sends my heart into a frenzy and I can’t concentrate!)

Hina: (I guess this is fine… I can return his advances a little bit at a time…)

Nagihara: 2a+b+1. Which means X=1. The minimum value of X=a so--

Hina: (I’ll just keep the issue about the pen a secret for now.)

[femnet]

Dear Me 15-Years Ago,

You’re 21 today! This is a day you have been waiting on for a very long time. It seems even longer because you’re the youngest out of all of your friends! Eighteen was considered adulthood, but 21 is that next level of adulthood!  You’re almost finished with college, and about to be out in the real world.  As you wake up today, very hungover by the way (don’t worry, you mostly learned that lesson, you’ll only get that drunk one more time in your life), I thought as your older, much wiser self, I would impart a little wisdom on you.

Let’s start with a couple of easy ones…

Be a better driver! This should be a given, but you’re terrible. You’re about to get into another wreck. What is this, like five? Luckily no one will ever get hurt by your terrible driving, but you will save thousands upon thousands of dollars if you would just pay more attention to the road. And this is before people will start texting and driving. Seriously, your only excuse is that you suck a driving. Take a class!

Listen to your parents. They are literally always right. Every. Single. Time. You’re rolling your eyes now, aren’t you? By the time you figure out that they’re always right, you’ll also learn that it’s either because they made your same mistakes and lived to tell the tale, or that they know you better than you know yourself. Your mom will actually know you’re pregnant before you figure it out. It’s freaky!

That guy that you think is so great right now… he’s not the one! In fact, there will be a few more “not the ones” before you do meet the one. Some of them will be total wastes of your time, but a few will teach you something about what you do want in the one. Don’t stop putting your heart on your sleeve. The one time you wanted to protect your friendship and not follow your heart, you ended up losing the friendship anyway because he got tired of waiting around for you.

Don’t get the store credit card for 20% off your purchase. It sounds like a great idea while you’re buying 10 outfits, but what the clerk isn’t telling you is that the interest rate is 29% or more. Are you going to pay it off the second you get home? Nope! The math doesn’t add up. The store just made an extra 9% on you.

Life isn’t black & white. It’s lived in the grey area, but that area isn’t really grey either. It’s full of color. The older you get the more you’ll realize that there are very few clear cut answers in this world. The values that you are passionate about right now won’t change, you’ll always be socially liberal, but you’ll realize that most issues aren’t as simple as you think they are right now. Learn to have real discussions with the other side and listen to their answers with empathy and understanding. The political climate will get really ugly, and understanding the grey area will be what saves a lot of relationships.

Take the Trip, Experience the Things, But Don’t Make the Rest of Your Life Contingent on a Checklist!

You’re planning a trip with your roommate to Europe right now, and it’s going to be amazing. Life long memories! You’ll go on a couple more with her, and do some other really cool stuff too like going skydiving. Here is the thing that most of your generation is going to get caught up with, and you’ll fall into the trap of for a little bit too: don’t make the rest of your life contingent upon checking off a full list first!

You and so many of your peers are going to have these lists that you want to complete before you get saddled down with a spouse and kids. You’re going to want to see all these places and do all these crazy things that you think you’ll never have another chance to do again and do a degree, you’re right! At 36 you will never again share a hostel in Paris with 8 strangers! But you won’t want to either!

What you and your peers don’t see right now is the whole being tied down thing isn’t so bad! Being tied down means you’ll have people at home when you get there at night after a really bad day. Being tied down means you’ll have someone to wake up to every day, and someone to rejoice in life’s everyday victories with. Being tied down means that you have someone who knows you, understands you, and to run ideas off of. You and your future husband are going to miss this point for a while, and end up breaking up and getting back together so many times your best friends are going to be sick of hearing about him! You both will be too scared to be tied down because you haven’t experienced all the things you want to experience yet, and you’ll cause yourself an ocean’s worth of unnecessary tears, a bunch of really bad first dates, and one “relationship” you’ll really regret.

If you’d let go of what you haven’t experienced yet and just follow your heart, the two of you could avoid wasting a lot of time!  Your friends could too. You’ll see a lot of them continue to add to their list of things to do before kids until they get to the point where they struggle to actually have them. Then you’ll watch them hurt and wonder why they thought it was so important to wait for so long.

No, you haven’t been back to Europe since getting married and having kids, but you will one day.  When you do go back, it will be with a different perspective on the world, and a different budget too! Do NOT travel again where you have to share bathrooms and hot water with strangers! For real! And you know what? If you don’t make it back, that’s ok too. That just means it wasn’t meant to be. The world is too big to see and experience everything in one single lifetime.

Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin

Right now, you think you’re fat. You’ve always thought you were fat. The only thing you see are all the girls who are skinnier than you.  You were made fun of all through school for the size of your butt, your not flat stomach, your small boobs, and your weight. The complex has and will continue to stay with you. You were told by your school that the taunting was boys being boys, and you were expected to just accept that. You were expected to accept that your worth was tied up in boys being boys. The good news is, you won’t let your boys just be boys because of it.

Here’s the thing, the size you are right now, at 21, is the skinniest you’ll ever be! Once you get out into the real world and start working at a job that requires you to sit at a desk all day, your metabolism will start to tank, and it will tank more with each pregnancy. Carbs will not be your friend. Thank your genetics for that. You do need to make sure to take care of yourself and stay healthy (you’ll actually meet your husband in a gym, not the bar you’re walking into tonight), but don’t be so worried about the size of your clothes. That new “best friend” you’ll make very soon who talks constantly about her weight and really gets into your head, she has issues! Get her out of your head! She’s going to ditch you after you have kids anyway. One day you’re going to wish you are as fat as you think you are now.

For as skinny as you are now (yes, you’re skinny), in 15 years your kids will still make fun of you because the fashion choices you are making are absolutely ridiculous! Snakeskin, pleather pants are NEVER a good idea. Neither is purple glitter eyeshadow. Your kids, the people who matter most to you in the world, will never think twice about your size.

And here is the thing about your size, the right guy isn’t going to care if you are a size 0 or 14. He’s going to care about the inside. The guy you meet in the bar who does care about your size isn’t worth keeping around. You won’t remember his name one day when your kid finds your old pictures and asks who he is. You can ask your future husband on any given day what size you are and he won’t have a clue. He loves the way you look at any size! The one thing he doesn’t love, however, is bangs. When you cut bangs and cut your hair to shoulder length, then you’re going to have issues. He hates bangs and short hair. You’ll find a picture many years after you did it and realize what he was talking about too! Just. Don’t. With. The. Bangs!

Money is Important… Don’t Buy so Many Shoes!

You love to shop right now! Over the next few years, that love is going to grow, and you’re going to quite literally have a closet full of shoes and drawers upon drawers of makeup! Unfortunately, what you don’t see coming right now is a huge recession and that closet full of shoes is going to mean nothing when you have bills and a baby to pay for! Instead, you should have saved and invested some of that money! I know, super boring, right? But hear me out…

If you had invested some of the money you spent on things that will both go out of style and not fit you anyway in a few years, invested into a small company like Amazon, that money will be there when you’re stressed about how to both buy diapers and keep the lights on. You can still have some nice shoes, but 7 pairs of red heels that you’ve mostly only worn once is a bit over the top!

Start paying attention to money trends and what is gaining momentum early on, then chase it! Just think, if you’d started your blog 15 years ago, when bloggers weren’t even really a thing, where would you be?

On the subject of money, always pay more than the minimum on your credit cards. Go ahead and calculate how much you’ll pay over five years in interest and fees if you don’t. Go ahead… I’ll wait… Ugly, huh? There is your next great trip, by the way! Put more than the minimum down on your house. You’ll have more leverage later when you need to refinance. Listen to your dad when he says to have three months saved up! You’ll be laid off during the recession and not given much of a severance package. You’ll need that money and will be extremely stressed out because of it. Then you’ll be fired again one day and be glad you have some savings while you work things out (you’ll wish you had more, you’ll always wish you had more).

Don’t Put Work First. Check Your Priorities!

There is going to be a big push with companies for the “team” environment. There will be a bunch of studies coming out about how employees work harder, and perform better when they feel they are part of a team or work family. The thing with that is, there are very few companies who really adhere to that philosophy: those will almost always be small startups with very little money. These larger companies you’re working for that are touting this mantra have one goal, and that’s to make you work harder for less money. The goal is for you to put the company before yourself. When you believe in your team or the company so much that it is your main priority, you’re much less likely to call foul when something is not right. You’re much less likely to cause trouble. That “open door policy” all of these companies say they have is B.S. Don’t use it and talk to your boss about anything. It will always bite you later.

The other thing that will happen is that you’ll put work ahead of people.  You’ll miss weddings of dear friends, baby showers, visits with family because you believe that if you just put the company first that it will pay off. You’ll believe that they will see your dedication and reward you for it one day. The thing about it is, that the companies will never put the employees first and they will turn on you in a second to advance a different objective. It will happen to you and it will happen to many, many people you know. When you’re looked over for an opportunity for a promotion, or let go from the job you put first, you’ll be full of so much sadness but in hindsight, you’ll realize you weren’t sad because of the missed work opportunity. You’ll realize you’re sad because you missed life opportunities. You’ll hurt or even lose important relationships because your priorities were not in check.

Embrace Your Mistakes

I know, at 21 you think you have all of life’s answers, and you mostly do have your act together compared to a lot of people your age, but one day you are going to laugh at yourself and your “maturity.” If there is one thing you need to do more of, it’s not taking yourself so seriously, and laugh at life’s blunders! There are very few mistakes you can make that cannot be fixed. You’ll take a lot of your mistakes to a whole new level by over-thinking how you fix them!

Instead, choose to pause, learn something, then just laugh at yourself! Every mistake you make is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself, and will ultimately point you in the direction you’re supposed to go. You can choose to go in that direction with joy and laughter or kicking and screaming but either way, you’re going to go the way you’re meant to go.

You’ll make one huge “mistake” in a few short years and not realize that antibiotics hurt the effectiveness of birth control pills (so doesn’t not taking the pills at the same time every day). You’re going to be totally shocked when that mistake catches up to you and you realize your life is going to go in a totally different direction than planned. You’ll even spend the first couple years of motherhood & marriage mourning a lost youth, watching others continue to check off those lists they made, and not enjoying that time with your baby. That “mistake” actually gave you the kick in the rear you needed to grow up, and he’s a pretty awesome kid.

By the time you have your second kid, you’ll have learned to laugh at life and you’ll be surprised at the difference it makes for your family. Baby number 2 won’t be as fussy because mommy isn’t so stressed! Failure isn’t always a bad thing if you just learn to look at it differently.

Always Trust Your Gut

You know that gut feeling you get? You should listen to that more. Those feelings aren’t just thoughts in the back of your head. They’re really God telling you the direction you’re supposed to go, or protecting you from something. Trust it and listen to it more. When you start to feel things like maybe that boss isn’t a good person, go ahead and jump ship before the job turns bad. Those times you feel like it’s time to leave the party then just get up and go. When you get that weird feeling that you just need to call someone or go to them, do it. Don’t think about it and second guess it. That person needs you in that moment. Even those people you haven’t talked to or seen in a while. If they’re suddenly on your mind, that’s God telling you they need to hear from you.

By listening to your gut feeling, you’re trusting and believing that God has a plan and showing you have the faith to follow it.  In your moments of the deepest trials, whether its money trouble or marriage issues, as long as you continue to trust God’s plan, everything will turn out ok. Most of the time you won’t have a clue as to how it will be ok, but at that moment all you’re supposed to do is trust that it will. Don’t lose hours upon hours of sleep worrying because none of your worries will lead to any kind of clarity that will help. It’s when you let go of the control, and have faith that you will find your clarity in the hardest of situations.

You’re Capable of More Than You Give Yourself Credit For!

You’re full of self-doubt. You question constantly whether you can accomplish your goals. The thing you don’t know right now is that you have some grit about you, and when you need to dig your heels in, you do it with everything you have to follow through on your commitments and promises. You achieve some pretty amazing things this way. Remember that when you start doubting yourself and get tempted to settle for another job you hate right after you decide to finally go after your passion for writing. Keep at it, and you’ll figure it out! You won’t let yourself fail!

Above all else, enjoy this time that you’re in, and love those who really matter with everything you have!

Sincerely, 36-Year Old Me

[awkward-radar-tech]

An Awkward Tech: Part 3

Summary: Big brothers are big brothers even if they are less than half an hour older. Matt and reader visit the garden again, and more meals.

A/N:This is the last part for a bit. I will definitely be writing more for this, it might be an ever growing fic, I don’t know. There will be at least 2-4 more parts with larger time skips looking at their relationship after it has developed.

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 4 – Part 5 – Part 6 – Part 7 – Part 8 – Part 9 – Part 10

When you woke up the next morning and read Matt’s text you couldn’t help but smile. He called you sweetheart, your favorite pet name, although he didn’t know that.

8:14 am: Good morning Matty :) sorry I fell asleep last night before saying goodnight, I was already dozing off when you text you survived and ended up passing out

8:17 am: Good morning to you, (y/n). Don’t worry about it, you had a long exciting day.

I am going to be heading over to the garden in a little bit, do you want to come along? We can get breakfast first at the cafe if you’d like.

8:20 am: I’d love to

8:22 am: Ok, I’ll be there in 20 minutes

8:24 am: see you then!

You quickly got up and brushed your hair and teeth and then changed into your favorite sundress, which thankfully didn’t stain, and some strappy sandals. Before heading out to the living room, you grabbed a floppy sun hat to wear in the garden. Ally was already in the living room, sitting on the floor at the coffee table eating some cereal and reading something on her phone, when you entered.

“Let me guess, Matt?”

“Yeah, we’re going to breakfast and then to his garden again.”

“Sickeningly sweet. How are we even friends, you a sweet romantic and me a cynical ass.”

“We weren’t like that in kindergarten. Plus we complement each other, so, ya know.”

“Yeah, I do.”

You had just sat down on the couch when Matt knocked on the door.

“That must be Mr. Lover boy. Have fun (y/n), love ya.”

“See you later Ally. Love ya, too.”

You opened the door to greet Matt, only to see that he was joined by two other men about his height but with dark brown hair.

“Uhh, hi (y/n). In case you couldn’t guess, these are my brothers Ben and Kylo. They umm wanted to come help tend the garden and meet you I guess.”

“Oh, uhh, nice to meet you both. And good morning. I’m ready to head out, so let’s go.”

You grabbed Matt’s hand and lead the way out of the building. Kylo and Ben followed a few feet behind and you heard them softly talking to each other. You and Matt took the stairs while Kylo and Ben thankfully went down the elevator.

Once safely out of sight and earshot of the others inside the stairwell you stopped Matt and wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss, “Sorry, I’m not one for kissing in front of others. Good morning Matty.”

“I understand, especially in front of my brothers. And sorry about them, they invited themselves, they both got into the car before I could lock the doors and drive away.”

“That is okay, and I’m assuming we are driving to the cafe instead of walking.”

“Yeah, they are lazy bums. If they aren’t in the gym they don’t like to do much exercise.”

You kissed once more before heading down the stairs and to the car. Ben and Kylo didn’t say a word to either you or Matt until you were seated at the cafe. Then they tag teamed trying to get as much info out of you as possible.

“So, (y/n), Matt here hasn’t told us what you are going to school for. Mind enlightening us?” Ben prodded.

“Well, I’m going to help find a cure for cancer one day. I’ll be working in a lab for a living.”

Kylo smacked Ben’s shoulder, “Of course our brother found another brainiac. He needs to have somebody to talk sciencey stuff with I guess. Tell me, (y/n), what has he told you about us.”

“Well, he told me your names, that you’re triplets, that you both had dark brown hair, and that one is currently an artist while the other is a businessman, and you live together. He also said that you tried to get your childhood friends to include him but they wouldn’t.”

Ben nodded at what you said, “Well, all that information is correct. If you had to guess, who is in which profession?”

“Hhmm, I think Kylo is the artist and you are the businessman.”

“That is correct,” Kylo responded, “now, be truthful, since you have now met all three of us, who is the most attractive?”

“Guys, what the hell?!” Matt squeaked out, “Leave her alone. And Ky, why would you ask that, Ben stop smirking I know you planned this out together!”

You reached out and squeezed Matt’s shoulder, “Hey, Matty, calm down, it is okay.” You gave him a devilish smirk before turning to the two across the table from you and lowered your voice a bit, “Now, to answer your question ‘Ky’. You all are quite handsome, but you asked about attractiveness. Ben, I’m quite attracted to you, but that goatee thing you got going on is a turn off, like how are you a businessman with that on your face. Kylo, you are very attractive, but why does your hair look so greasy, like gross wash your hair for once.” You paused and turned to Matt who was trying to contain his laughter from your comments about his brothers and their reactions, “Now, for my handsome Matty, he is super attractive, the way his blonde hair contrasts his beautiful brown eyes takes my breath away. I just adore the way his glasses frame his face but don’t hide any of his features.” You leaned forward and whispered just so the two of them could hear, “And his voice does things to me and I can’t quite explain why,” then leaned back and gave them a wink and a smirk. You then turned to Matt and gave him an intense kiss just to prove your point.

You left the barely older men speechless and Matt just laughed. The waiter came and delivered your meals and you and Matt held a pleasant conversation while Ben and Kylo ate in silence. You were proud of yourself for putting them in their place, why wouldn’t you find Matt the most attractive, you were dating him after all. You knew they would be back to normal in a little bit after their embarrassment passed, but hopefully would keep their comments and questions like that to themselves, you had no problem answering the first questions they had and wouldn’t mind answering more.

When you all finished, Ben paid for the meal and then both he and Kylo walked ahead to open the door for you and Matt. On the drive to the warehouse, they continued to be silent. Kylo unlocked everything once at the building, and then stayed inside with Ben while you and Matt went up to the garden.

“Hey, sweetheart, I’m sorry about my brothers. I don’t know why they thought it was okay to ask you that.”

“Matty, it is fine. I had fun responding to them and tearing their egos apart.”

“I didn’t know you could be so petty. And the things you pointed out about them are features they take pride in. Do you mind telling me what you whispered to them that made their jaws drop, because I really want to know.”

You blushed and turned away from him, kind of embarrassed about what you said. It wasn’t a lie, but you weren’t sure how he’d react. “I don’t know, it is kind of embarrassing on my part to tell you.”

“Oh, okay. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, umm, I don’t mind. Just umm, please don’t make fun of me.”

“I won’t hun.”

“Ok so uhh, I said that your voice does things to me that I can’t explain.”

“It what? Wait, you mean like umm, in that way?”

You folded in on yourself and nodded yes, your face burning hot.

“Sweetie, that is nothing to be embarrassed by. There are things about you that make me feel the same way. But those feelings are nothing we have to explore any time soon, or at all. If we are together for 20 years and you finally feel like going down that path I will be ok with that. I am never going to force you to try or do anything you don’t want to, except maybe going on an airplane because I want to take you on a nice vacation, but I’d let you squeeze my hand the whole time we are in the air.”

“Thank you, that really means a lot. So, why are we up here today?”

“We have to tend to some of the plants. Watering and weeding mostly. Some of the tomatoes might be ripe so we can pick those.”

“Okay! Lead the way, sir!”

He taught you a bit about every plant you took care of, why he chose to add it to the garden, how he learned how to care for it, and how to care for it. As you were kneeling and weeding the planter with onions growing in it, Matt silently slipped away and cut you a small bouquet of flowers. When you turned around he was standing there holding the flowers close to him in one hand and had his other hand extended to help you up. Once up, he handed you the flowers and walked you over to a bench to sit at.

“(y/n), I know we have only been dating for like 18 hours, but I want to know if it is ok to call you my girlfriend.”

“Oh Matty, yes! I’d love to be called your girlfriend, and call you my boyfriend!”

“Really? That is great! Could we take a picture so I can show my mom my beautiful girlfriend? And for me to have when we aren’t together.”

“Only if I get to take it and you send it to me.”

“Sounds like a deal, here’s my phone”

After some adjustment of your positions, you took a very cute photo of the two of you that included your bouquet. You handed his phone back to him and kissed him before getting up and wandering around the garden looking at all the plants. Matt continued to sit on the bench and look at the picture you took before sending it to you. He then just silently watched you as you went from plant to plant, and took a few photos of you when you weren’t paying attention to him.

He was brought out of his daze when you called to him, “Hey, Matty, can we get some lunch soon, I’m getting kind of hungry.”

“Sure sweetheart, what are you in the mood for?”

“Hmm, a burger, fries, and a milkshake!”

“I know just the place, we will leave in a few minutes, let me put away the tools.”

You invited Ben and Kylo to join you for lunch, but they declined saying they would order pizza and also apologized for their behavior at breakfast. Matt drove the two of you to a quaint little 50’s themed diner just a few miles away.

“Holy crap, Matt! I haven’t even been in there yet and it is already my new favorite restaurant. We definitely have to dress up in 50’s clothes and come for a date another time.”

Matt couldn’t contain his smile at your excitement about this little diner, “Noted, sweetheart… Wait, you have 50’s style clothes?”

“Yeah, I do. I like to dress dapper sometimes so I have a few swing dresses and circle skirts and petticoats.”

“You’re amazing. And how about we actually go inside to get what we came for.”

“Let’s! I’m starving.”

Your meal was great, you geeked out about the interior for a large portion of the meal and Matt was just fine watching your excitement and happiness. He knew he could get used to this, spend his days with you and taking you places that brought out your inner child’s excitement. He knew from that point on, he would do all in his power to hold on to you for the rest of his life.