#being without it in florida was miserable

[john-marshall]

14

[magicalella]

Hi all!! For those of you who don’t know me, My name is Ella Griffin, I’m a 24 year old trans woman based in south florida. For the last four years, I’ve been working on a super special project that I’m beyond thrilled to share with you all: my debut novel, The White Liar. As a big fan of fantasy books, I’ve felt for a long time that there’s a serious lack of authentic trans representation in the genre. For years, I yearned for even just one iconic transfem hero in a high fantasy setting. The White Liar is my attempt to fill that gap in the literary canon.

As a bit of background, I am a massive fan of hard fantasy books with an epic scope and in-depth magic systems; such as Brandon Sanderson’s Cosmere books or Ursula Le Guin’s Earthsea series. I’m also a big fan of gothic literature and character-driven classics like Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables and Anna Karenina, all of which have played an influence on this book. The White Liar’s setting is heavily inspired by celtic folklore, mythology and history with a feminist twist.

It’s a world where fae creatures range from tiny glowing insectoids to massive flying mounts and even humanoid beings. Yet, even the tiniest of these has the potential to unlock unfathomable magical potential through the art of Serimancy! Serimancy, the primary magic system of the book, gives users the ability to transmute or ‘spin’ the silk made by fae creatures into supernatural strength, telekinetic threads, and twelve other distinctive powers. Think Rumplestiltskin spinning straw into gold, but more vaporwave.

Without giving too much away, the book features a diverse cast of characters from all different backgrounds, including transfem, transmasc, nonbinary, aspec and disabled characters, although those aspects don’t always define their motives or character arcs. Mainly, The White Liar is a book about the nature of truth and identity; the ways in which our environment affects how we perceive those things, and the friction that creates with our own perception.

I would also characterize the book as a gaslamp fantasy like the Mistborn series or the video game Lies of P, with a baroque/art nouveau-meets-Bridgerton 19th century aesthetic. I’m a 100% independent author with a summary $0 budget publishing through kindle direct, and flat broke, so I would highly appreciate any and all support with this project, be it word of mouth or otherwise. The cover art is a digital painting created entirely by me and is canon to the book!

Thank you so, so much for giving me your time and attention. This book is my love letter to the queer community and I truly hope someone somewhere finds it hopeful or inspiring like I’ve found with the works that inspire me.

The White Liar is available now on E-book here:

[armpirate]

Anti-romantic || JJk | Ch. 26

Pairings: Boxer!Jungkook x fem!reader || Enemies to lovers, neighbors

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, curse, illegal boxing, violence

Warnings: fuckboy!Jungkook x reader, smut, dirty talk, curse, mention of tarot and fate

Summary: Jungkook had always been carefree when it came to love. He always believed he was worth sharing himself with everyone, and thought it was selfish of him to ever think of keeping himself exclusive to just one person.

And maybe that was exactly what got him into the big problem he was in.

A curse that kept him away from love didn't seem an issue for him. The fact that his ex-girlfriend thought he'd be affected by the idea of the girls he slept with running away from him after sex was ridiculous. She actually did him a favor, and took a burden away from him.

At least that was what he thought at first.

He had never found himself thinking of the possibility of repeating with neither of his hook ups, because they disappeared before he was able to even think about it. But when he makes the mistake of sleeping with the sexy neighbor that lives in front of him, he finds himself hoping to get the chance for a second round every time their paths cross.

Y/n hated him the second he set foot inside the building by the way he started making her life a miserable mess for no reason. Sleeping with him was a big mistake she wasn't thinking of repeating. At least not until he came up with the excuse that she rejected him for a curse. Not only she thought he was annoying, but she was also convinced he was crazy. 

There was no way she could take him seriously.

Aprox. time of reading: 19 minutes

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Y/n lifted her head when she managed to see a blank sheet of paper falling next to her notebook, finding Alma with a smile as soon as her eyes were on her.

—What's this? —she smiled, picking up the envelope to open it.

—I'm getting married —she excitedly informed.

—Oh my god. Really? Congratulations!

Unable to hide her excitement for her colleague, Y/n got up from her chair to hug her tight, moving her arms under her curly locks. It was so out of character for her, yet she felt so comfortable with that display of affection... And there was no point in denying that what had been happening the past few days had nothing to do with it.

—I didn't invite you earlier because we weren't really close, but I'd really like to see you there —Alma admitted, stepping back—. Donna and Jackie are also coming, and I think some other people here as well.

—I'll be there without a doubt —she assured her.

—And you can also bring that hot neighbor of yours.

When Y/n dared to look away from the invitation to look at her colleague, Alma was giving her a malicious smile while she winked at her.

Free drinks, free food... Jungkook would definitely love that.

—I'll think about that.

—I'll let you work again —her thumb caressed her forearm—. I'll see you for lunch?

—Sure! —fuck... Jason— Wait, no. I can't.

—Lil' date with that cutie? —as much as Y/n attempted to deny it, she knew her colleague would just pretend to believe it while walking away— See you later, then!

It had been months since she saw Jason for the last time before he moved to Florida to work as an estate agent in a company, after being promoted in the branch office in Chicago. He was one of the biggest supporters she had when Noah passed away, and he still was -although he wasn't as present as before, and she couldn't blame him, life went on for everyone.

Her steps slowly paused as she started walking down the stairs to the entrance to wait for Jason there, seeing that same black motorbike she was a little too familiar with.

If those three days had worked for something for Jungkook, it was to make him dependable on Y/n. His mind kept getting busier with thoughts related to her, and he went past that phase of sending dumb messages to wait for her answer thirty minutes later.

He was a man of action.

Well, that... and the fact that Jimin got so tired of speaking to himself that he ended up coming up with the idea of taking her to have lunch.

It was so stupid, yet at the same time it made sense for him how, after spending so much time with her, he got used to being around Y/n. And far from being bothered by her presence, he was upset at the lack of it whenever they were apart.

And that was exactly why he was waiting in front of her workplace, seeing her coming out the building as if she had read his mind.

They were connected.

Jungkook took off his helmet, holding it on his lap with his left hand while he tried to push his bangs back with his right hand. Her presence, as always, captivated him. She was wearing a white turtleneck sweater that fitted her body perfectly, embracing it almost like a second skin. His gaze moved down to the black A-line skirt she was wearing, which had a delicate white grid pattern. As he looked down at the way it flared slightly at her knees, he noticed a pair of black, over-the-knee boots that looked way too good on her to be real.

—3A.

But he wasn't able to say much more, because she spoke as soon as she was close enough to be able to speak to him in a normal tone.

—What are you doing here? —she asked, confused, looking at the other helmet he was carrying around his right forearm.

—Let's go somewhere for lunch —he suggested—. I know of a good brasserie around.

—Kook, I can't today. I already had plans.

He wanted to ignore how upset he felt about her words, but he couldn't even try to pretend he wasn't affected.

—Oh, were you going out with your colleagues?

—No, actually...

—Y/n!

When he looked back at the owner of that voice, he found a tall and lean man, with a presence that was hard to ignore as he approached them with a wide smile. His dark hair was casually tousled, not even being messed up by the soft breeze hitting them, looking effortlessly stylish. His white, textured shirt that was open at the collar, was revealing a hint of a chiseled chest.

And the second he approached them enough so Jungkook could be able to pick up all the flaws he could, just to be punched with the calm confidence his faint smile radiated while his arms wrapped around Y/n with a hug.

His moment was stolen, her attention was on someone else. He was second place... and he hated being left in second place.

—Are you busy?

—No, I was just speaking to a friend —Y/n commented, pointing at Jungkook.

—Hey, what's up? —the boy, who seemed to be around their age, greeted Jungkook when aware of his presence— I'm Jason —he tried to introduce himself, lifting his hand for a high-five.

Of course that was Jason.

—Jungkook —he simply moved his head for a greet, purposely ignoring his approach—. Are you guys going somewhere?

—We're going to have lunch somewhere around —Jason friendly informed him.

—Great, I was starving. That's what I came here for. Right, Y/n? —Jungkook started yapping, hopping off his motorbike— I was just telling her.

—Yes, you were. But you might be uncomfortable if you come —she tried to persuade him.

—Nah, I adapt well —he ignored her again—. I know of a great brasserie near here. Let's go.

She couldn't believe her eyes when she saw Jungkook leading the way to the restaurant, as if it had been his plan to meet up with the two of them, only receiving a comforting smile and a shrug from her friend.

Not enough with that, he stopped himself and got on purpose in between them every time Jason tried to approach her to tease her for that new friend she had made.

It was no surprise from her to have such a peculiar fling, after her long on-and-off relationship with her ex boyfriend, but this one seemed to take the cake.

Y/n sat first when they arrived, picking up the chair at the extreme right of the table, just because it was the first place she saw.

—I'll sit here —Jungkook rushed to say, stopping Jason from taking the spot next to her.

Although he took the spot right in front of her, Jungkook wasn't sure if that was a better spot or a worse one, since he got to look at Y/n straight in the eyes as they spoke. He was going to be able to hook her soul with his charms, and make her forget he was right at her left, beside her.

—Actually, I want to sit here —Jungkook spoke again, having Y/n dropping her smile.

—Kook, it's the right same thing —she rolled her eyes.

—The air conditioner is hitting you directly, and I'm a bit hot today.

—Then take off your jacket —she demanded in between her teeth, turning to smile at Jason right after.

—I also tend to order more than one beer, and I'm hidden here. The waiter won't see me. And...

—Fine, sit here —Y/n finally gave up, exchanging places with a smiley Jungkook.

That same smile slowly vanished when he started noticing some small details as he watched them speak. She was cornered by him and the wall, giving Jason the perfect angle for her to focus only on him. In the place she was taking before, she at least had the possibility to distract herself with anything else, but not anymore.

—Actually... —he wasn't able to say much more, her hand on his thigh stopped him from moving.

—Jungkook, if you want to keep your legs, sit the fuck down in your place —she whispered, bending over his body so Jason would only be able to hear some incomprehensible mumbles.

He just agreed, accepting his fate while his eyes moved around the restaurant, heart skipping a beat when her hand moved away to her lap while she smiled at that other man in front of him.

—So, how did you meet each other? —Jason asked, as soon as they both were calm.

—We're neighbors —Y/n answered.

—You're so lucky, I don't even know who's living next door where I live —Jason assured them.

—Well, it took us a bit to get here —Jungkook smiled, moving his elbow over the edge of the table—. My wall is proof of it.

—I drilled a hole in his wall because he wouldn't stop being loud —Y/n explained at the confused look from her friend.

—Holy shit, Y/n. A text message is too subtle for you?

—She also ruined clothes by throwing bleach over them. Oh, and never forget how the old lady a few floors up now thinks I'm a sex maniac because of some... hot mail. And, she faked to want peace, only so I'd eat a brownie filled with laxatives.

He didn't know if he was bringing it all up to defend himself, to push a button on Y/n -because he loved it when she was annoyed-, or if he wanted to scare away the man that was looking at them in disbelief.

—Seriously? Don't play innocent. You sneaked yellow tint in my shampoo. I looked like Piolin for three fucking days —her body completely turned to him—. And don't forget how you sent me to the ER after putting spice in my food.

—I didn't know you were intolerant.

—Wait, you're the homicidal? —Jason interrupted— Why didn't you tell me before it was him? —he scoffed, shaking his head.

—Did she talk about me?

Jungkook went deaf, despite him being the one asking the question. He was only aware of her friend's smile as he spoke, and Y/n's shy smile while looking down, while his heart pumped against his chest so hard that he was able to hear it perfectly.

She did talk about him with someone who was close to her.

That thought kept him calm for most of the lunch, ignoring how smiley Y/n looked while speaking to Jason, or how that guy didn't take his eyes away from her, not even when he was eating his roasted chicken. And he even omitted the fact that neither of them aimed at him once throughout their conversation.

Jungkook remained calm and quiet... until he didn't.

Y/n's body immediately reacted to the touch of Jungkook's hand over her boot, right on the small piece of skin her lifted skirt exposed. As soon as she felt his pinky pushing down the edge of the fabric, attempting to move forward before her hand tried to stop him.

It didn't matter how much she tried to fight it, there was no way she would success pushing him away without making it obvious for Jason.

Just like Jungkook, Y/n lost track of the conversation she was holding while his hand moved up, resting his palm on her inner thigh and her smaller finger so close to her panties that she could even feel his touch.

—Jungkook, Y/n told me you're a boxer —Jason tried to drive him back to their conversation.

Although some of the bruises on his reverse, and the light wounds on his knuckles gave out how he, at least, practiced it.

—I am —he answered proudly—. Actually, I'm a pretty successful entrepreneur.

Y/n wanted to scoff at that comment, but holding back her skin from burning, so she wouldn't start feeling uncomfortable with her clothes, kept her way too busy.

—I own a gym —he remarked again—. Although I love taking control of what goes on there, so I work like any other employee would.

And because there was no other employee other than him and Jimin, and his friend didn't do anything else other than taking control of the administration of the place.

—I did boxing, but it wasn't my thing —Jason laid back—. Guess when you're good, you keep working on it. And if you aren't, you find a 9 to 5 job that gives you stability. My friend here —he mentioned, pointing at Y/n with his head— has an office job, but is everywhere except her office.

And Jungkook knew exactly why.

—You talk like a grandpa, I don't know how Kelsey is keeping up with you —Y/n chuckled.

—Kelsey? —Jungkook frowned.

—Oh, my wife —Jason answered with a lovely smile, showing off his golden ring.

Suddenly, all worries vanished away from Jungkook's body when he learnt about that significant other. If he knew something about Y/n, it was that she'd never stoop so low to get in the middle of a relationship, and even less while knowing the other person. The night she came back covered in wine was the best proof of it.

—Oh, I have to leave —Jungkook suddenly pulled his hand away from her, reaching to his phone with the other—. My partner wants to have a quick meeting.

—Sure. It was nice meeting you —Jason smiled.

—I'll see you later.

Right after saying that, Jungkook dropped a fast peck on her lips, that she didn't see coming -and which she didn't quite assume until she saw him walking out the restaurant.

—Did he just leave without paying? —Jason wondered at her left.

—That's exactly what he did —she sighed.

—Well, I like him better than the asshole of Kyle.

—We aren't dating —Y/n rushed to deny.

—Sure. You're just neighbors who kiss each other, get jealous, and who play footsie under the table.

—What? —her eyebrows lifted, while her cheeks started burning.

—It's not like you're the best at pretending, and he wanted to make it quite obvious —he scoffed, sipping on his beer.

—We're just neighbors... Who sometimes fuck each other, and who're just getting on well —she shrugged—. And I might be liking him a bit.

—No shit, Sherlock —while he laid back to look at her, Jason crossed his arms over his chest—. He's a bit shameless, but I like him for you. At least you know you won't be bored with him, in the good sense.

—Yeah, no. That for sure ain't happening.

They both made sure to avoid it from happening.

Shouts and jeers from the spectators blended into a cacophony of noise. Smoke from illicit cigarettes and cigars hung in the air, creating a hazy, oppressive environment, that combined with the smell of sweat and fear, mingling with the metallic scent of blood, made her dizzy at first.

Her eyes wandered around the place like they had been doing ever since they arrived, puckering her lips while she tried to memorize as many faces as she could. She felt like a cop undercover, just that she didn't have a gun, and if she was exposed looking too deep into some details she had no other way to defend herself than calling out Jungkook, who was on the other extreme of the warehouse.

His eyes never left her either way, even when he was in the middle of a fight -which he only managed to win because the other fighter was worse than him. That feeling of something happening to her while she was there had his heart at the top of his throat.

It was a bad idea to have her there -and he thought he learnt that the last time-, but knowing the way her eyes would shine with the news only worked to test his own limits and push his own rules away.

He was a dumbass.

—There aren't good fighters anymore —she heard a man rant behind her—. Jungkook is an exception, and he isn't even out for sale. He's too busy being Elijah's dog.

She couldn't be bothered about that comment because, as much as she grew closer to Jungkook, the truth was that he was allowing others to play with him like a toy, using a gym that wasn't even his as a bargaining chip. Although she couldn't judge him for it either. Just like her, he had his reasons to do what he was doing.

—I think trainers shit their pants whenever they have to send these kids here, after what happened with the Line of the 21.

—The best defender in a coma, and the best attacker dying of a heart attack.

Y/n paused when she heard that, recognizing her brother's case almost immediately. But still waiting to hear some other details that could confirm it was him.

—That guy wasn't ready —the man opposed—. Whoever his trainer was, fucked up sending him to that fight when he had heart issues.

—I lost my bet that day, but do you know what I got?

Y/n subtly turned, just to be able to see through the corner of her eye whatever it was he was showing to the other man he was talking to. Her blood stopped running when she recognized that pendant, in the shape of a cross. Two nails formed the horizontal bar of the cross, and one longer nail formed the vertical bar, with them being arranged with their heads pointing outwards and the tips meeting at the center.

—Is that from the fighter who died? —Y/n asked, giving up the act.

She was supposed to be there cheering for Jungkook, watching him from afar while he fought in the middle of the makeshift ring, moving over the mixture of dirty and dry blood every time he moved to attack his opponent.

—You like it? It's pretty, huh —he praised, enrolling the chain around his knuckles—. When you have an eagle eye, you're able to catch these things —he winked at her—. While others were running away, I managed to find this.

As much as she wanted to be disgusted by that attitude, when someone else was about to die not even thirty minutes after he reached the hospital, the shock to see something that belonged to her brother being held by someone else was bigger.

—How much do you want for it?

She was willing to pay anything.

—It's not for sale, pretty —he put on the necklace again.

—I'll pay anything.

—Well, that's another story —the man stepped towards her—. Why don't we go outside and put that little mouth to work? I might let you look at it up close.

It took Y/n to feel his callouses hands on the curve of her ass to throw a fist in his direction, shocking him at first when he didn't expect her to defend herself that way.

Jungkook, who had been watching suspiciously from afar their approach, suspected there would be nothing good coming out of their conversation, and he was right when he saw his dirty hand moving over her body.

It worked automatically: one hand on her, and his feet started moving, leaving his place for the next fight just to reach her. Her punch collided against his face and before the man could even lift his arm to attempt to hit her, Jungkook punched him again to make him fall to the floor.

—Are you alright? —he turned to her.

—He has Noah's necklace —she mumbled, with her pupils shaking.

The bell announced the next fight, the second one he was going to participate in to seal the deal with Elijah. Although he knew the second he moved away from her, someone would be back at her neck.

It was a one second decision. And he had it clear before he could even hesitate to choose.

His fingers wrapped around her wrist, pulling her to assure himself she was glued to his body while they walked through the aggressive crowd that was anticipating the next fight.

Jungkook didn't even bother to take off the bandages around his hands, because he knew it urged her to get out of there. But as every time he was in a rush to get out of somewhere, something stopped him.

—Are you leaving? —Elijah interrogated.

—My girlfriend isn't feeling alright —Jungkook answered.

—And because she isn't feeling alright you're leaving? Let her take some fresh air and put your ass in that ring.

—I'm sorry, dude —Elijah's hand on his chest stopped him from taking a step.

—Ten thousand dollars, Jungkook. Don't forget what you're giving up on.

That was the deal.

It would help him erase some debts he had been dragging for months, it'd even give him the chance to renovate some details in the gym. But he had to fight twice -with only the first one giving him one thousand dollars worth in equipment.

It was either money, or Y/n's safety -after she chose to lose her chill to punch somebody.

He had it clear.

Jungkook didn't answer. He only clenched his jaw while gripping on her wrist a bit tighter to get out of there.

Neither of them talked. And while at first Y/n wanted to blame the helmets, it didn't get any better when they stepped inside his house. They just moved quietly, as if their words were going to lack any meaning, and their actions were the only thing that mattered.

Y/n silently moved, kneeling in front of him in between his legs, with the aid kit next to him to clean the small wounds on his face. She had been too shocked on their way out of the warehouse to realize what had happened.

—I'm sorry —she muttered—. I just... couldn't help it.

—It's alright —he lied.

—Kook, you lost ten thousand dollars, are you serious? —she called him out— I'll try to pay you back. I don't know... I'll be giving you money every month until I make up for it.

He wanted to be mad at her, yet everything she said, the pitch of her voice, the way her eyes were tinted with guilt... he just couldn't. And that annoyed him even more.

—Y/n, that's not the problem —he held her wrists, keeping him from touching him, because he knew he'd lost focus the second her fingertips lied on him.

—And what's the problem?

—You. You're the problem —he finally sentenced, getting up from his seat—. I want to be mad at you, and I just can't. I can't get mad at you, I can't stop thinking about you, I can't stop worrying about you... It's overwhelming.

Y/n pressed her lips together, turning her body to him, thinking it was the closest he'd ever been to being honest about his feelings. That was probably the weakest she had seen him since they met each other.

—And it's all your fault —that accusation, with such belligerence, wasn't what she expected—. You're like a fucking disease. When I started being nice with you and came up with living with you, it was supposed to end with me getting done with you. Who knows? Maybe a few hook ups would make it all up, but nope. It's even worse. I get jealous, which I hate by the way. And now I even gave up to ten thousand dollars. It's so fucking insane.

She watched him coming and going in his living room, nervously yapping while confessing out loud what he was after with his sudden change in attitude.

—Is it so bad to like me?

—Yes! —he rushed to answer— I was happy with my life until you showed up with your freaky habits, and crazy reactions.

Y/n got up from the floor, walking towards him with her eyes fixed on his. If there was something she found out, it was that she was stupid for ever putting her walls down for him. She wasn't scared of admitting she was wrong about him, she didn't care to admit she started liking him... but she did hate to realize that she was fooled.

—Where are you going? —Jungkook asked, watching her dragging her small suitcase from his room to the living room.

—Why don't you do what you're longing so much to do and mind your business? —she cut him off.

—Didn't you hear what I said? I can't.

—Then try a bit harder. I know that for that little brain of yours any form of effort is a big waste of energy, but just try it —she turned to him—. I haven't met anyone so childish and immature, stuck in his conformist complex, just because he's scared of change, in my life.

Jungkook felt his heart beating faster, and the air being cut from his lungs while a knot formed on his throat as he saw Y/n packing her things. He should be feeling relieved, yet all his thoughts were becoming depressing.

—Don't —she warned him, lifting her index in the air, when Jungkook attempted to reach for her hand—. Do you think I have time to deal with your emotional detachments? I have enough problems of my own to deal with yours.

—It's because...

—And don't mention that fucking curse, please —she breathed deeply.

—At least spend the night here.

New reinforced fact about her: she was a bigger stubborn than he was, and he noticed when his door slammed against the walls as she stepped outside.

She knew she wasn't supposed to go back to her place yet, but it was going to be something for that night. At least until she found a cheap hotel where to stay while the works were done in her apartment.

It was good while it lasted. 

Taglist: @jk97bam @ttanniett

[brocksfaber]

listen i was going to post this last night and then dew scored and i just couldn't make him sad like that so i put it off for tonight. i just. was in a mood yesterday. so here's this from the doc i titled "something something brandon Feels Bad Man"

Brandon doesn’t know how much longer he can do this. He’s exhausted physically and mentally, still torn up about being traded for a draft pick. And it’s not that he doesn’t get along with his new team - everyone is nice enough - but they all have routines and they’ve all had the entire season to cement these habits. And now Brandon is there, in Colorado, without anyone to lean on. It’s been weighing on him for a while, but he’s been busy enough to pretend there’s nothing wrong. Tonight though, it’s all finally caught up to him.

With shaking hands, he pulls out his phone and dials the only phone number he knows by heart. It’s late on a Saturday night, and Brandon doesn’t even know if Connor is free, but he needs to try. It feels a little too much like spiraling not to. 

The phone rings and rings, each one sounding further and further away from Brandon until he gets the unfamiliar beep of Connor’s voicemail greeting. Brandon grips his phone tighter, knowing he was with Connor when the greeting was recorded, he was the one who chirped Connor relentlessly about the voicemail greeting that he originally had - a nearly pre-pubescent Connor talking about being too cool to answer the phone - until Connor caved and recorded a new message.

“Hey……. it’s Connor,” Brandon listens to Connor’s soft voice, listens for his own laugh to ring through the speakers of his phone, “‘M not here right now. Sorry. Leave a mess-” 

The beep of the recording cuts Connor off. Brandon remembers the way they laughed hysterically when that happened. Connor had wanted to re-record it but Brandon told him it was perfect - authentic Connor.

“Connor. Hi. It’s uh… it’s me, Brandon. You probably knew that. Caller ID and whatnot. Um. Yeah, hey if you could maybe… call me back? Whenever you get a chance? I’m not really feeling like myself right now and, uh, I guess I thought maybe you would understand that? I don’t know, maybe I’m just being stupid… yeah. I’m just in my head too much. Sorry. Forget I called. It’s ok. I’m… I’ll be okay.”

Brandon hangs up the call and all but collapses onto the bed. His bed. He lives here now. This is his new home whether he likes it or not. And at this moment, he very much does not. He’s in a new state with a new team and he doesn’t have anyone to talk to. Not that his teammates wouldn’t care about how he feels, but it’s different, being vulnerable with near strangers. Brandon was hoping for this season to be over quickly, quietly wishing for the off-season to come sooner than later just so he could go home - home home - Minnesota or Florida or wherever that was now. 

But now the Avs have clinched their spot in the playoffs and Brandon has to keep going. Has to keep showing up at practice and laugh at jokes he only partially gets. Has to keep answering media questions about how it feels to be traded to “such an amazing team.” And he’s just so tired of it all. He didn’t want to be traded. Didn’t want to be torn away from his team, his home, his friends, his Connor. 

Brandon still loves hockey. He really does still love the sport. It’s just, he thought he’d have Connor by his side. The thought of the two of them being separated had crossed his mind maybe ten times before that looming trade deadline. And now Brandon is in Colorado and generally miserable, while Connor is closer to home in Toronto and he has Reavo there. Brandon can’t help but be jealous. Connor has a person, even if Connor and Ryan weren’t all that close when they played together.

Brandon’s thoughts keep spiraling, pushing him further and further away from reality, when he hears his phone buzzing. He stares at his phone on the floor, no longer sure he wants to talk to anyone. The call goes to voicemail and the room is quiet again before the buzzing starts again. He lets it go to voicemail again before looking at the screen, realizing that Connor has been calling him for nearly five minutes now. The thought of Connor worrying that much about Brandon makes his stomach twist so he grabs his phone and answers when it starts ringing once more. 

“Jesus, Dew, I thought I was going to have to call in a wellness check on you. Are you alright?”

The worry in Connor’s voice has tears welling in Brandon’s eyes. He gets out a choked “hey” before he collapses into heaving sobs.

“Brandon, hey, you’re okay, it’s okay. Can you breathe with me? Listen to me breathe, you’re okay. I promise everything’s gonna be fine. I’ll make sure of it. Just breathe - come on.” Brandon barely hears Connor’s words as he works to suck in air.

It feels like hours before Brandon’s tidal wave sobs mellow out into sniffles, and Connor talks to him the whole time. He can’t remember anything Connor said, too busy focusing on stopping the tears and breathing normally, but Connor’s voice anchored him through the tsunami. Connor, for lack of knowing what to say, just talks to him about the team and the city. He talks to Brandon about what life is like and when he runs out of things to say about life, he just dives into recalling stories about life in Iowa. 

When Connor notices that Brandon’s crying has quieted, he tentatively asks, “Are you okay? Like obviously not but…”

Brandon can’t help the pathetically wet chuckle that leaves him at that. 

“Yeah, Dew, just fucking peachy,” Brandon’s throat catches on a few too many vowels and he sighs into the phone, “Sorry for… that… I didn’t…… Sorry.”

“Brandon listen to me,” Connor’s voice becomes harder, a seriousness in it that isn’t usually taken with Brandon, “You don’t have to apologize for anything. Seriously. I’m just glad you called someone. Called me.”

Connor’s voice softens again on his last sentence and Brandon’s eyes start watering again.

“Fuck,” Brandon lets out another short, sad laugh and vigorously wipes his eyes, “You’re the only one who would get it, I think. No one else I could’ve called.”

Brandon knows that’s not entirely true - the boys have kept in touch with him plenty since the trade - but no one else was traded. Well, Maroon was traded too, but he and Patty never really… talked.

“B…” Connor’s voice cracks and Brandon starts crying again. 

“It’s just… Does it not kill you, too? To be traded away as if you’re worth nothing? I’ve tried so fucking hard my entire life to get where I am. And it wasn’t good enough for my team so they just, what, got rid of me? Of us? Doesn’t that fucking tear you up inside, Dew?” Brandon yells, hot tears still streaking down his face.

“Of course it hurts, Brandon. Fuck, I’ve cried more times since your trade than I have probably in my entire adult life,” Connor says softly, “But this is the way shit happened. We can’t change that.”

Brandon throws his face into his pillow and lets out a scream. 

“Why us? Why did it have to be us?” The words leave Brandon’s mouth in barely more than a whisper, but he knows Connor heard him by the shaky exhale he hears on the line.

“We should’ve had more time,” Connor says, his words just as soft.

More time. God, did they deserve more time. 

[arisatohamuko]

old pinned post/about here; will be replaced when i can. blog is currently running on a queue for the meantime.

like idk how to even cope with hurricane milton or put it into perspective rn…i'm not trying to fear monger and it is very likely that i WILL be safe (if not extremely miserable and suffering without power and the heat due to my disabilities) but like.

the roads are clogged. the supplies are empty. the hotels and airbnbs are all booked up. the flights have been price jacked and are also all full. people are being threatened with losing their jobs if they don't come into work and risk their lives over the next few days.

almost the entire state, over 90% of it is marked as at least "likely" to lose power. our governer is fucking around and refusing aid and playing with people's lives for political gain. evacuating isn't easy if you live in rural places, if you have pets, if you have disabilities���many people cannot get out even if they want to, even if they HAVE to.

and that's not to even touch on things like how incarcerated people are being treated, esp with how high of a population florida has with that like…we're cooked. we're toast. it's bad, and many people just do not have the time, resources, or money to get out of here even after the hurricane hits.

it's not that simple, and it likely never will be in my lifetime. i'm not even going to lie when i say that i've been reaching out to online friends all day to get my phone number into as many hands as possible and even going so far as to give trusted people my login information in the event that i do not survive this.

again, i will do my best to keep you guys updated during and after the storm, and panicking isn't going to help anyone anyhow...but my power is 100% going to be out for anywhere between 2 days and 2 months. wifi and cellular data might be gone for a while too; there's no way of knowing what's going to happen, so we all just gotta...do what we can and try to stay safe in the meantime without letting despair get to us.

[luxlightly]

Oh boy withdrawal.

It hasn't even been a full 24 hours without my meds why is this how this happens.

I'm unbelievably dizzy and my emotions are all over the place. I'm pissed off and sad.

I'm just so sick of people being like "well clearly you just need to fix your sleep schedule" or "you should force yourself to get out of the house" or "get a UV lamp!" I'm SICK. I am PHYSICALLY ILL. I can't will my way out of it.

And every time I'm like "when I lived in Florida, I walked outside for 5 miles a day in the sun. I got all the sunlight anyone could want. I went to bed every single day at 8pm and got up at 7am. I left my house every week day to go to school. I did that for a FULL YEAR and it DIDN'T HELP AT ALL. I was more exhausted and miserable than ever and it got so bad that by the end there would be multiple days a week I was physically unable to get out of bed."

I hate that "I want to suffer less" is not a "goal". Therapists and psychs are always trying to figure out how I can push myself through my suffering to achieve my "goals". My goal is to suffer less. If your solution boils down to "you'll suffer immensely but you will look healthier on paper and be able to achieve a set of specific goals" , that's nothing to me.

"I'm upset I can't leave my house because of my illness"

"okay so your goal is to leave the house so our plan should be making you join a program that forces you to leave the house every day for hours on end"

"my goal isn't to leave the house. My goal is to have it be possible to leave the house"

"well if you do it enough, then it will be possible. It will become routine"

Like

That's not how any of this works! I'm just so frustrated. I feel like not even the most supportive doctors listen to me at all. If I ever imply that just doing the things my illness make impossible isn't a solution, they start talking about how I am refusing to change my bad habits. They never, ever believe that it's actually not possible for me to do something.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Life Is Short So Make It Sweet

Chapter 24: When It All Goes Out

Summary- 5.8k Curtis Everett x Plus!Sized Reader. Returning from Florida meant returning to the last bit of winter weather and it hit with ferocity, leaving Duluth without power. Luckily Curtis is ready to handle such a challenge.

Warnings- Intimate sex and some talk of Curtis's past and his grandparents being ill from cancer and a stroke. Mentions of freezing cold weather? Is that a warning?

A/N- I had to throw in a winter storm because they are something I experience every year, along with losing our power when it is freezing ice cold and it is miserable. I need someone like Curtis who can make that experience a lot better! I also wanted to meet some more of his family and this seemed like a good way to do it. As always, thank you so much @what-is-your-plan-today for editing this, also thank you to everyone who has been following these two! Divider made by @firefly-graphics As always happy reading, Liking, Commenting, and Reblogging are so appreciated! 🐝

Chapter Twenty-Three / Masterlist

The end of February and beginning of March came in with the coldest snap of the year, the wind blew freezing temperatures off the lake and you swore you were moving to live with Jade after the fifth night you stood at your stove while stirring your pot of hot soup. Curtis was working on putting heavy sheets of clear plastic over your very drafty windows after he felt how much cold was creeping in, leaving your heat running constantly.

“I have plenty here if you want some dinner.” You muttered as you tasted the broth off the tip of your spoon. “But I’m sure you are sick of it by now?” 

Curtis was stretching to the tip of his toes to get the tape in place, giving you a glimpse of his pale belly, the Florida tan having faded away as fast as it arrived. You could feel yourself getting all wistful for the sun filtering through the palm trees in Frank and Jade’s backyard.

“Honey, if you're feeding me, I’m not going to have any complaints. Soup sounds warm and I’m still freezing from today. Sucks having to work outside on days like today. Should have seen Edgar. Had on so many layers he could barely move.” He moved back from the windows and checked the seams of the plastic. “Okay, I think this will help a bit. I don't feel a draft sneaking through anymore.” 

You clicked off the stove and hugged around his waist. “Thank you Curtis.” 

“I got your bedroom too, that was not quite as bad as these kitchen ones, but Honey this building has so many issues.” He frowned as his eyes roamed around your tiny apartment. 

“As soon as my lease is up, I’m moving. I’m not crazy about this place either. I was thinking about a little house next.” You said while easing back to the stove to ladle up the soup. “I miss having a garden to work in. I had the most beautiful one with my parents since I also lived in an apartment there.” You placed the bowels side by side at the table while Curtis picked up his supplies. “I always wanted a yard, with a porch either on the front or back of the house.” You smiled a bit at the thought of it, Curtis catching your wistful look while you daydreamed.

“You know my Gram had lots of gardens in that yard. If we can’t find the house you want, you can certainly use them.” He offered as you finished up the table with some drinks and warm bread that you had baked that afternoon, butter alongside it, because warm bread needed slathers of salty butter to bring it to life. It was something you used to deny yourself daily. Now you thoroughly enjoyed it whenever the mood struck. It started with you making it for Curtis, because he enjoyed it so much but now, it was just as much for yourself as him. 

Hearing Curtis mention the old garden beds at his own house made you perk up. “She did? Do you remember what was in them? Are they even still there?” 

“Yeah, they are still there, it wouldn’t be hard for me to rent a rototiller to break that ground back up for you. And she did everything, flowers, vegetables, herbs. There are some bushes and fruit trees back behind the treehouse that can probably be brought back to life. All her tools are still in the shed. Grandpa didn’t have the heart to toss them after she stopped being able to use them.” Curtis dunked a piece of bread in his soup and bit into it, letting his eyes slip to a close while he chewed, thoroughly enjoying his food. 

“I would love to revive your Grandmother's gardens Curtis.” You worked on sitting down but once again Curtis hooked an arm around your waist and pulled you to his lap, hugging around you. You didn’t try to pull away like before, just slid your bowl over close to his and took your own bite. You had to admit it was warmer in his hold, a feeling of security that you’ve grown accustomed to being with Curtis.

“Mmhh you’re so warm, makes me wish I could stay tonight.” He grumbled, knowing in this cold he had to keep his fire going and make sure his water didn’t freeze up. “She would appreciate it, I tried for a few years to keep them going after she passed, but it was so time consuming and I just didn’t have enough hours in the day and I just didn’t have the knack for keeping anything alive like she could.” 

“Trust me, I wish you could stay too. You are like a furnace when you’re sleeping, perfect to keep me warm tonight.” You chuckled, leaning into him as you took a bite of bread, savoring its rich warm taste. “I will send some of this bread home with you.” You twisted a bite off for Curtis and held it up to him, which he promptly took with a light nip to your fingertips. “Make yourself some toast tomorrow before work.” 

“You do that and I will just come back looking for more.” He teased you with a bypass on soup and bread for the curve of your neck, hitting that sweet spot of yours that always made your breath catch. Your hand lifted to cup the back of his head, making you breathe deeply while muttering a curse at him. 

“You're an absolute fucking menace Everett.” Making him laugh deeply, the vibrations from his chest felt in your back where you were pressed against him. “Keeping you coming back was my master plan though. However how about we go to a movie and dinner tomorrow? My Friday night treat?” 

“You wanna take me out on a date, Pretty Girl?” 

“Sure, gotta show you off once in a while.” You winked at him before turning back to your soup. 

“Well, I will be delighted, make sure I wear my finest beanie hat and coat you got me for Christmas.” Curtis promised, making your cheeks heat with affection at how happy he still was with his Christmas gifts. 

Friday you ended up waking up to a freezing cold apartment. You weren’t the only one you found out while you bundled up into several layers, your phone was flashing with weather alerts and school cancellations due to power. The cold snap ended up being matched with high winds that snapped frozen tree branches all over the place, knocking out several areas of power all over Duluth. 

You were bundling up in even more clothes, trying to remember all the things your dad taught you about what to do during a power outage like this when your phone rang with Curtis’s name popping up. 

“Hey.” You answered while curling up in your bed to get in the blankets. “You without power too?” 

“Yes, I woke up a while ago getting the fire going and making sure my water was running. Pack a bag, you should come stay with me. I’m going to go pick up my aunt to bring her here, Ella is packing up her and Sophia. It’s too cold for you all to be staying without heat.” 

You happened to agree and staying at Curtis’s sounds much better than your icebox of an apartment. 

“You are a literal knight in shining armor Curtis.” You made him chuckle into the phone. “Want me to grab anything?” 

“Nah, I got everything we need. If the car has a hard time starting, give me a call and I will pick you up. When you get here pull right into the garage.  The truck should be fine as long as I cover it from the wind.” He instructed and once you assured him you would be there soon, you hung up. 

Clothes weren’t much of a problem, you had plenty there. But you wanted to bring your laptop in case you were able to do a bit of work on it, plus you were sure Curtis had a small emergency battery you could plug it into to charge. You grabbed a few other things that you knew wouldn’t do well in the cold, including your tiny little spider plant you were just starting. You finally managed to get your bag of stuff you needed in the car and luck was with you as it quickly started without too much trouble.

When you got to Curtis’s place, going in through the garage, it was currently empty of any occupants. Your bag of stuff in one hand, your spider plant precariously balanced in the other, you called out Curtis’s name, not expecting any answer. “Guess it’s just me and you for now, Peter.” You muttered to your little sprig of greenery, making sure to place it in the living room where the wood stove was currently keeping the space toasty warm.

Figuring Curtis must be picking up his aunt, whom you had yet to meet, and Ella was coming with Sophia, you decided to get some hot water onto the stove, which luckily still managed to work with the flick of a lighter, enabling you to start heating up water and milk for drinks. Going into your cupboard above the stove, you brought down several teas, a container of instant coffee and a special mix of cocoa you had purchased with Sophia in mind. 

“Jesus Christ and tits, it's cold out.” Ella suddenly announced as she ushered Sophia through the garage door, holding onto her kid’s jacket before she could bolt off. “Get your boots off and go say hi to Y/N.” “I got some cocoa for Sophia going if she wants some.” You poked your head into the hallway to see if they needed any help. Ella tossed you a bag of clothes for you to take off her hands while she worked on getting Sophia out of the outside clothes.

“What do you say Soph, hot chocolate?” 

“Does it have the mallows?” She asked so solemnly and you nodded with enthusiasm.

“Unicorn ones. I picked them up last week when I was grocery shopping.”

Sophia’s brown eyes widened with excitement and she hurriedly wriggled out of her clothes while you went to set the bag of clothes in the living room. When you came back out to the kitchen, she was pulling the stool over to the counter to help assist in your cocoa making adventures. “Ella, you want anything?” 

“If you have any kind of coffee, I would fight my cousin and make you my girlfriend.” She shouted while she stuffed everything in the closet to get it out of the way. 

“I got instant.” you answered back while pouring the heated milk into a mug. “Careful Soph, it’s hot.” Grabbing the package, you emptied it into a flower mug for Sophia. 

“Oooh, they are pink and purple unicorns!” The little girl said excitedly as she carefully stirred the powder into the milk, changing the color to a soft brown color. She scooped a marshmallow and blew on it before biting it. “Mmmhh.”

“Perfect for today.” You agreed with Sophia while you made two more mugs, one with instant coffee for Ella and you drizzled some of your honey into another and a tea bag. Ella came in, pressing cold hands against her daughter's warming cheeks, making Sophia squeal and twist out of her mothers hold to march to the table with her mug.

“Ahhh, looks like I have to fight Curtis, good thing I fight dirty.” She wrapped her hands around her mug and stole a splash of warm milk and sugar to finish sweetening it. 

“I will be your cheerleader from the sideline. I am a great prize.” You snorted in laughter. “So what were your plans this weekend before all this?” 

“Oh Sophia was gonna go stay at my mother’s for an overnight while I went to the aquarium to help set up a new exhibit.” Ella sipped from her mug. “I will still go tonight if they let me. Right now everything is going into maintaining the generators, so they might not let any of us go ahead with doing the changeover exhibits.” she shrugged. “I’m actually okay if I have the weekend off. It was a pain in the ass touch tank, one that always is a bitch to deep clean those things.” 

“Momma!” Sophia scowled over her mug, sporting a chocolate mustache now. “You swore.” 

“Don’t worry, it will happen again.” Ella crossed her eyes at Sophia to make her giggle and went right back to her coffee and convo with you. “What about you and Curtis? Any plans this weekend?” 

“Ahh, we were going to do a little date night tonight when I got out of work. Movie and dinner, been a while since we have done that, but I don’t know how long this storm will keep the power out for. Staying in works for me though. I can spend the day in comfy clothes.” 

Ella shot out her leg to show the fuzzy pajama bottoms she was wearing sporting the batman logos and extra thick socks, one in bright pink, the other in purple. “I’m right there with you.” 

The rumble of a truck could be heard and Ella sprang from her chair to open the garage door. “Hey mom! Curtis! Just in time, Y/N has hot water going.” Ella’s arm wrapped around an older woman, half hidden in a giant winter coat and Curtis followed her hurriedly, his heavy boots thumping on the linoleum as if he was trying to warm up and get the door closed against the chill. You could just barely see him under his hoodie, which he shoved down off his head but kept his beanie on, pulling it down enough to cover the tops of his ears. 

“It’s like hell froze over out there.” He opted to kick his boots off and slip his jacket off to hang in the closet. 

“UNCLE CURTIS.” Sophia scowled at him from the kitchen table. “Bad word!” 

Curtis scowled right back at his niece, taking the effort to make a funny face at her to make her giggle into her cup as her expression went from serious disappointment to glee. “How much do I owe you now for the bad words?” 

“Million trillion gazillion.” Sophia said confidently and Curtis sighed with exasperation. 

“Kabillion? I might have to write you a check kid.” He continued teasing her. 

Ella assisted helping her mom, talking a mile a minute to the woman. Sophia waved a hand while she had her cup half tipped to her mouth, choosing to finish her precious unicorn hot chocolate before going to greet her grammy and uncle. You just stayed quiet, sipping your tea and watched everyone greet each other in a chaotic manner. 

“Froze over and then decided it still wasn’t cold enough.” Ella confirmed Curtis’s statement while the trio went into the kitchen. “Y/N, have you met my mother yet?” 

“No, but I’m glad you were able to come.” You held out a hand and the woman, who was on the shorter side of the family, just coming up to your own shoulders meaning Curtis and Ella towered over her, looked at your hand and swept it away as if offended. 

“I’ve heard so much about you, I feel like we’ve already met.” She wrapped her arms around you, catching you by surprise. “Call me Lisa.” 

You were quick to recover with a swift smile and nod. “Sure Lisa. You must be frozen, please come to the table so I can make you something.” 

The woman accepts graciously, letting you lead her away while Ella gathers boots to tuck away and Curtis finishes hanging up winter clothes in the closet. They could hear Lisa start right in about how the kitchen table had been her parents and had many similar days, spent around it warming up after a cold winter day with ‘coffee strong enough to keep you awake for days.’ Making you laugh as you joined Lisa and Sophia at the table. 

“See that, fits right in. Mom loves her.” Ella winked at Curtis who gave an eye roll, but he couldn’t keep the grin at bay seeing how relaxed you were alongside his niece and aunt, comfortable as could be. 

The day was soon filled with activities to pass the time now that Curtis was sure everyone was able to stay warm. Several games were dragged out from the top living room bookshelves, helping make them kid-friendly so Sophia could play. 

The small wood stove in the living room kept the house heated for the most part and when it came to the evening, you started to light candles while Curtis went to retrieve some of his grandparent's old oil lamps from the garage. The house felt lively as the rest of the world almost felt shut down, at least in their part of Duluth. 

The oil lamps cast a warm glow around the living room, Curtis making sure to set a couple near where his aunt was curled on the couch, working on a project with her crochet hook and a large bag near her full of bright colored yarns. 

Sophia and Curtis were playing some game nearby while Ella worked in the kitchen, picking up from the meal earlier. You sat on the other end of the couch, taking a breather after the chaos of the day, Ella having chased you from the kitchen claiming she had it all under control. You also didn’t want Lisa to be alone and although you didn’t know her, felt better giving her some company. 

The woman was just as friendly as Curtis and Ella, her eyes lifting from her project with a smile. “Dinner was fantastic Y/N, you can make me chili any time.”

You eased a bit at her friendly welcoming tone. “Thanks, it was the only thing I could come up with that didn’t require the power for the oven.” 

Lisa laughed, hooking her string around her finger, and with a flash her hook was back to a whirl of movement. “My parents always went to beans and hot dogs.” Her eyes flashed and a soft smile curled her mouth at the memory. “You will get creative. This happens quite often up here this time of year. I keep telling Curtis he needs to replace the generator, it’s on his to-do list.” Lisa leveled you a look, making you giggle a bit. 

“He has a long to-do list?” 

“So he claims. But he has done a good job on this old place. It was a lot rougher a few years ago when Dad was sick. A lot of repairs needed to get done, these old houses as sturdy as they are, are also always falling apart.” Lisa said softly while she started another row. “Curtis moved back in when mom got sick and for that, I’m always going to be grateful to him.” 

You nodded, curious as you hadn’t heard much about this time in Curtis’s life. “It must have been hard for all of you when that happened.” 

Lisa nodded in agreement as she twisted her project, inspecting her stitches. “Cancer is harsh. Mom refused to be sad about it though and I think that kind of took a toll on Dad and Curtis, because they weren’t able to be sad about it either. At least not near her. Then after Mom passed, Dad just went downhill, heartbreak.” She said, sighing as she glanced at you. “Then when he had his stroke, Curtis stayed to help take care of him too and make sure he wasn’t living alone.” The older woman seemed lost in her memories for a moment till she glanced at you, seeing that you were paying attention. “I’m sorry, this is a heavy conversation after we just met.” 

“It’s okay.” You assured Lisa with a genuine gentle smile. “It helps to talk about them. Curtis mentions things once in a while. I know he misses them a lot.” 

“Sometimes that boy keeps way too much buried inside, always being the one who takes care of everyone.” Lisa smiled thankfully, giving a small glance around the room that she had grown up in, as well as her daughter and nephew, now her granddaughter would have memories as well

“We all keep too much inside, why I agree with you. It does help to talk about them. I’m glad Curtis still does. Do you crochet?” She held up her project in question. 

“No, that's one I have never gotten to try. I sew costumes for the drama club. But I always wanted to learn.” 

“Well get over here, I got more hooks and plenty of yarn, let me teach you.” Lisa set her project aside and pulled up her bag. “What’s your favorite color?” 

“Oh um, I love almost anything.” You peered into the bag and she pulled out a spool of greens that reminded you of summertime. 

“You can use this, I have more at home. Okay, so we are going to start with a loop…” 

You got engrossed in the lesson, and you and Lisa lost track of the other people in the house. Not by Curtis though, once in a while he would wander into the brightly lit living room to check on the fire, which didn’t actually need any tending. 

Seeing you bite on your lip as you slowly mimicked Lisa’s movements, you looked like you were enjoying yourself. This felt right to him, this made his house feel like home. 

You shivered as you crawled into bed that night, using a flashlight to see in the dark upstairs, opting to keep the lanterns downstairs for Ella and Lisa to use. Outside the wind howled and made tree branches scrape ominously against the side of the house, adding to the slightly spooky feeling that having the power out so long gave.

“Damn, it's still so cold.” You tucked yourself under the multitude of blankets covering Curtis’s bed. “You sure everyone is all good downstairs?” You asked quietly when Curtis came into the bedroom, sporting a steaming cup for you. You gratefully took it, wrapping your hands around the hot mug to warm your fingers up. 

“They are, it’s warmer down there than it is in here.” Curtis assured you, easing the door partially shut for a little privacy. 

Downstairs, Lisa ended up in the bedroom just off the kitchen which Curtis was sure to have the door open for the day to warm it up and in the living room you and Ella opened the pull-out couch, equipping it with plenty of blankets for them. 

Curtis managed to stir up the fire and refill it with wood for the next few hours just before coming up the stairs and from somewhere in the depths of the old house, you thought you felt it sigh in peace as all the occupants settled for the night. “Okay. I just wanted to be sure everyone is comfortable.” 

You sipped on the warm tea while watching Curtis hurry brushing his teeth and changing into his gray sweatpants and a hoodie. “I gave the stove a good amount of wood, it should warm up a bit more up here too.” He slipped in next to you, pulling the blankets up high around the two of you. 

You curled up closer, sliding your hands under his shirt to press against his warm chest while he wrapped an arm around you, mimicking the move against your back. “Your hands are freezing Curtis.” You whined into his hoodie. He promptly started rubbing them against your back to heat them up. 

“Better?” He rumbled sleepily and you hummed a sleepy yes. “Thank you Honey, for everything you did today. I’m sorry we didn’t get to go do that date though.” 

You lifted your head enough to look up at him, smiling up at him. “You are welcome Curtis and we have other nights to go on a date. I had a great time today.” You cuddled in closer. 

It didn’t escape Curtis’s notice that you didn’t brush off what you did today like it was nothing. You happily accepted his thanks because you deserved it. You whispered a good night, passed a quick kiss, and curled up comfortably next to him. 

It was almost pitch black in the bedroom when you were woken, the air chilly on your nose but you felt a warm breath against your ear, a press of chapped lips and the scratch of Curtis’s beard against the curve of your neck.

“Mmhh Curtis?” You muttered as you felt his hand slide under the sweater you wore to bed to keep warm. 

“Shh Pretty Girl.” He nudged at you lightly with his hips, pressing himself against you. 

Really pressed against you, you could feel him hard through the layers you both were wearing. “Our door is open and they will hear us downstairs.” 

That sent an excited little shiver to escape as he continued to kiss on whatever skin he could find. His hand moving aside your hair while he nipped at your sensitive place where your pulse fluttered in excitement. “You sure?” You gave a little throaty whine when his hand under your shirt squeezed a breast. 

“Fuck yes. You made me so fucking happy today when it could have all gone to shit, you made everyone so comfortable and feel welcomed.” He admitted to you in hushed whispers. “I thought I could ignore how much it turned me on, but I just don’t want to anymore.” 

You arched into his touch again, wriggling back against his broad chest. “That really got you this worked up?” You asked curiously. 

“Yup.” was all he muttered as his hand moved out from under your shirt and he pulled the blankets over the two of you to cocoon you underneath. You eased to your back as he pulled over the top of you, holding himself up on his elbows while he started kissing you softly, pressing his lips against yours, over and over till you both started to relax into the sensation. 

It was making your half-asleep mind go all fuzzy and warm feeling him press himself over the top of you and continue kissing you. Now his tongue slid over your teeth and pressed against your own tongue, making you both moan at the sensation of one another. Your fingers curled into his hoodie, to pull him harder against you, his hips snug against yours and rocking into you. 

“You might have to keep me quiet.” You whispered when you both broke, your head tilting back so he could once more kiss on your jaw, another moan escaping him as he rocked into your soft body once again. 

“I always got you Honey. Lift your hips.” He pulled up just a bit, enough for you to push at your sweats to work them off with his help. Under the blankets everything was muffled, the blankets keeping you both warm and snug stretched around you both. More kisses soon distracted you both for a moment, your bare legs hooking around Curtis’s thighs which were still encased in his soft worn sweats that always drove you crazy. You mumbled against his lips, panting slightly to catch your breath. 

“You still have too many clothes on Curtis.”

He tilted his head to catch your earlobe, sucking on it, his chin a sensual scrape against your neck that sent a shiver down your spine. Your hands dragged down his muscled back, tugging at his sweatshirt to pull it off to touch bare heated skin. He mimicked the action, making you lose your shirt over the edge of the bed. “Fuck.” He hissed as you ground yourself against his groin again, needing that friction. The fabric of his sweatpants rough against your sensitive clit. Your nails pushed down the last dip of his lower back and under the band to grab onto his flexing cheeks and pull him harder against you. Suddenly he shoved at his pants, pushing them low enough for his cock to spring free, needing them off now. 

You pulled up once more to kiss him, sighing against his mouth at feeling his cock press against you and he eased himself into you with a matching satisfied sigh, his weight pressing over you into the mattress. Easing your hands up to spread over his cheeks and running your thumb over his bottom lip before placing more soft kisses on his mouth, you felt his expression under your fingertips, the slight curve of his mouth pressing against yours made you smile against him.

You both kept the kisses light, brushes of lips against one another and rubbing noses while Curtis barely rocked himself against you. He rose on his elbows enough to touch his forehead to yours, his fingers burying into the hair along the side of your head while he rocked into you with soft grunts. You soaked into the feeling of him, easing your hips to meet him with a slow unrushed arch. 

It was different, no chasing and encouraging one another to finish, but just enjoying the feeling of your bodies pressing against each other. You let your hands slide down off his cheeks to the side of his neck, closing your eyes as your fingertips traced tendons flexing whenever he tensed in his movements and then down to his muscled shoulders. You sensed him shifting, the brush of his beard against your neck making you moan against his ear while his weight sunk on you. The hair of his chest tickling your breasts till he pressed against your soft body. 

You felt the groan in the hollow of your throat as he skimmed his mouth against you. “You always feel so good under me Honey.” Heat spiraled up your spine as you made yourself softer against him, your thighs rubbing up and down against the side of his hips and circling a leg to hook over his rocking ass to press him in closer. You wanted to drown in this feeling with him, make it last forever. 

His fingers tightened just enough to move your head to tilt towards him, his lips resting against yours while your gazes locked, sharing each other's soft pants. 

Thick lashes framed around his shining blue eyes, his pupils wide, searching yours while you were sure your gaze had a similar expression, except when he tilted his hips into the gentle rocking and Curtis pressed against you in a way that made you tighten around him, your eyes fluttering up as your breath hitched. “What are you thinking about Curtis?” You pondered in a whisper before pressing your mouth more to his. 

You couldn’t get enough of this intimacy you were sharing with Curtis. Sex had always been good for you two, but this felt different. You felt him everywhere and you felt just as seen, barely breaking your gazes unless some sensation rocked through one of you, making your bodies so good while embracing the sensation. 

But you two always relaxed again once it passed, sharing in the moment. 

You felt Curtis groan against you, the vibrations pressed into your chest as you rocked once more to meet him till he slowed even more. “How good this all feels.” He finally whispered against the curve of your neck where he buried his face. You thought he was talking about this moment alone and arched up into him slightly, running your hands down his back, feeling more of him, wishing you weren’t already building up to a release. “You in my home, fitting so fucking good in my life.” More kisses pressed against your pulse as he rocked back into your wanting body. 

You grabbed at the back of his head to press him closer as he kept talking. “How life just feels so sweet with you Honey.” You smiled and it felt so good to smile in this moment, when you were feeling so close with Curtis. It sent an urgency racing through you, unable to stop the sultry moan escaping as your head tipped back and you tightened around Curtis. His head lifted to watch you come undone, keeping up the slow dragged pace he was using, rubbing his hips into yours while your hot velvet heat clamped around him, the rush of your orgasm made him grin.

“Fuck you are so sexy when you come. Come on Pretty Girl, let me feel you. Just give in.” He encouraged, soft kisses pressing against your forehead and side of your face before he pulled back again to watch you. 

You rutted your chin up as you pressed back into the pillows, another moan escaping while your body broke in the softest way. You rode the high that felt like a warm wave washing over you when it passed, making you want to curl up in his hold, against his tattooed chest and soak in all of his touches that always made you feel beautiful. This wasn’t just your orgasm, it didn’t belong to you this time. 

This was his, this one belonged to him so you let him see how good it did make you feel. You let your arms circle around his neck and pull his face towards yours, letting your forehead lean into his, sharing a deeper kiss that poured all you were feeling and was so close to saying. 

Curtis watched your face meld into euphoria, which is all he ever wanted to do since the day he saw you standing on the bus steps with your students piling up behind you. You smiled so sweetly at him and he wanted more of that. He was always going to want more of that. 

Your nails raked gently up his back, your thighs pressing in closer to touch your foot against the top of his ass, pushing him down to bury in you. “I’m going to feel you for days Curtis.” You whispered with a satisfied moan. “It’s your turn. Fill me up Baby.” You begged, so sweetly with nipping kisses to his jaw and along his neck, your body arched under his, pressing all your curves he was passionate about against him. “You feel so good inside of me. I don’t want this to stop.” 

Curtis felt the rush you gave him with your words, the pull in his body to fill you with his spend was so intense, that he sped up. He grabbed your hip to keep you against him and you begged him for it till he spilled with a sharp yell of your name and he pinned you under him while warmth spread through you and he made no move to pull out. . 

You felt him relax with a groan, hugging you to him and refusing to let you move just yet. You didn't try to pull away but clung to him, both of you warm inside and out.

[confessions-official]

Man I love snow "No you don't"

Really hoping I can visit snow sometime "No you don't"

If I could live anywhere I would want to live somewhere with sn-"No you don't"

Fuck off. I don't care if you hate the weather, I've lived in the subtropics my whole life and I want to see snow. I don't care if real snow is miserable slush, I don't care if its dark and cold and is no where near as pretty as it is in the movies, I want to see snow

I've seen snow one single time in my life. I've seen fall leaves maybe twice. I just want weather cycles like everyone else. You want to live in Florida? No you don't. The beach sucks, humidity's a bitch and you can't leave your house without sweating. See? Not so nice to be shut down when it turns out that people who live in the weather you idealize don't like being stuck there.

I just want to want something everyone else has without being told I'm an idiot for never experiencing what other people take for granted

 

[the-aesthetic-weasel]

Some things that are wrong with s4 Umbrella Academy in no particular order:

I love this show and the characters and I just wanna vent about everything that pissed me off the most ok? Obviously super spoiler heavy so I'm putting it under a cut

Even the setup at the beginning was weird and made no sense. I get what they were trying to show - all of them are trying to live in reality without their powers and they are all miserable. Some of it was obviously just like. Could happen but a lot of it was just out of character and made no sense:

1.1 -Alison: Where the fuck is Ray. Are you telling me that Raymond Chestnut, who was a proper pillar of morality with 50's sensibilities, just WALKED OUT on his family? Bullshit. Someone had the idea "make them all miserable" stuck in their head and got way too trigger-happy.

1.2 -Diego+Lila: It's highly improbable they would end up like this. Why are show writers so fixated on the idea that this is what having kids has to look like? Even if they did very well end up living in the suburbs, they would have some kind of secret bullshit going on with Diego being a batman-style vigilante and chasing the city's crime boss Lila. Job wise it's also stupid - Lila is smart, capable and speaks a million languages, there's no way she would be a stay at home mum, especially with her whole family living with them. Diego could definitely also find a job that would make him happier - a cop, bouncer, even working a trade, something to do with metal. Also six years is actually not that long. Even if the marriage didn't last, they wouldn't change so completely into different people.

1.3 - Why is Five working for the CIA, and why is he taking orders from some rando without even argueing. He should be drinking mimosas and growing orchids in Florida. I feel like he would probably enroll in university just to tell all his professors they are idiots.

2. Why does Klaus, who is obviously having a very hard time without his power, protest so much against getting it back? He doesn't need drugs anymore to keep the ghosts from his brain, he's spent three seasons coming to terms with his powers and not needing to surpres them with drugs. Did we just forget about that? Also his whole plot is completely pointless. It was just the writers going "What should we do with Klaus? Idk give hime a weird adventure with sex and drugs. Also make sure the CGI dog is so bad it pulls you out of the story and makes you think this is pixar for a moment)"

3. Also, where do they all live? Why were they driving all day to Maine or something and then they get into a car accident and Klaus just walks off, resurfacing in Alison's house? What?

4. Why was that girl in a squid? That was never explained and how did the Keepers know she was important?

5. Now the big one - the absolute lunacy of Lila/Five. The whole thing was BAD. Not just because Five wouldn't fuck his brother's wife (I actually don't think he would have such a moral problem with cheating, but he would at leas acknowledge it), but he would never fuck Lila. It would actually be Lila who wouldn't cheat on Diego, originally she fell in love with him against all odds and it was such a massive, complicated lovestory, she wouldn't just completely forget about all that. And even if they did fuck, they would never fall in love and be all disgustingly sweet about it. Also neither of them would ever settle down in a house and just stop trying to get back to their family and the apocalypse. Especially Lila just spent the whole season unhappy about being settled down - she wouldn't just grow strawberries while her husband is fighting the apocalypse. It was complete bullshit.

6. Why didn't Victor just tell Ben about the particles and about how can they go on happily snogging forever if he just lets him suck out those particles. It's not that difficult to say.

7. Abigail Hargreeves could do a lot of smarter things than just orchestrate the apocalypse because she's mad at her husband and she thinks they should all die. Also Reginald going "Oh yes love, that's actually the best solution you are so clever. Let's die"

8. What are Alison's powers. Is it just "general superpower" now? I've been wondering that about Victor for a while now but they were always quite vague with it, now it just seems they went completely off the rails.

Ok I think I'm done now. There was other dumb shit but these are the things that made me the most angry.

[chaifootsteps]

"I first met Tokitae (also known as Toki, Lolita and Sk’aliCh’elh-tenaut), a female orca who had been captured off the coast of Washington, in 1987. I was a biology graduate student at my first professional conference, and the scientific society hosting this event held the opening reception at the Seaquarium.

Toki was 20 feet long and 7,000 pounds, and should have been in the Salish Sea traveling 40 miles a day and diving 500 feet deep with her mother and siblings. Yet there we were, a few hundred marine mammal scientists who mostly did field research, watching this magnificent being perform silly tricks in a bathtub.

That’s not really an exaggeration in Toki’s case. Toki’s tank was the smallest enclosure in the world for her species. It was only 35 feet at its widest point and 80 feet long. It was 20 feet at its deepest; if Toki hung vertically in the water, her tail flukes touched bottom. Captured in 1970 when she was 4 or 5 years old, she lived in this tiny space for 53 years.

The federal Animal Welfare Act (AWA), administered by the US Department of Agriculture, has a ludicrous requirement for tank width — only twice the length of an average adult orca (or 48 feet). But Toki’s tank didn’t even meet that weak standard. For years, the USDA offered various excuses for not taking steps to revoke the exhibitor’s license. None of them made sense, as the tank was plainly not to code. Activists repeatedly tried to sue the USDA for failing to enforce the law, without success.

Toki’s was a strange, lonely life. Despite many campaigns to repatriate her to her family (the L pod in Puget Sound), years passed. The stadium around her slowly and literally crumbled.

The ‘Blackfish’ Effect,” named after the 2013 documentary that eventually reached tens of millions of people globally, has shifted the captive cetacean paradigm in the past decade. Businesses have severed ties with marine theme parks, and policymakers have passed laws ending the commercial display of orcas and other cetacean species. SeaWorld, the company that built its brand on Shamu, is phasing out orca display — no longer capturing, breeding or trading them.

And still Toki languished in the South Florida heat. The Seaquarium’s two owners during Toki’s first 52 years there were adamant that she would never leave the park and disdainfully dismissed talk of returning her to her family.

In March 2022, however, Toki’s outlook finally seemed brighter. The Seaquarium was sold to a company whose business model relied primarily on swim-with-dolphin encounters. An orca didn’t fit that model, and these owners were willing to let her go. Efforts could finally begin in earnest to return her home. The Lummi Tribe, who gave her the name Sk’aliCh’elh-tenaut and considered her a relative, had prepared detailed plans for a seaside sanctuary in the Salish Sea.

Then, last month, Toki died. The hope felt by so many that she would finally go home disappeared in an instant.

Captivity robs orcas of a true life in the deep open sea. It robs them of family, of purpose, of change and challenge. Captivity is tremendous monotony for these socially complex, wide-ranging, intelligent animals. We should not perpetuate that.

Zoos and aquariums long ago relegated dancing bears and tricycle-riding chimps to circuses, but still claim that cetacean shows — loud extravaganzas featuring leaping orcas and cavorting dolphins — are educational (they are not). The industry could and should invest in seaside sanctuaries — it’s a win-win choice, as the industry would be heroes and the animals’ welfare would improve.

Let Toki’s miserable, isolated life and sad death mean something for her fellow captives. These amazing beings should not have to die to finally be free."

Dr. Naomi Rose is senior scientist (marine mammal biology) for the Animal Welfare Institute in Washington, D.C.

[jewishrizahawkeye]

hello fellow members of the tortured poets department.

i would like to enter into evidence the songs for the days i missed and analyze i can do it with a broken heart

previous days:

fortnight; THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT; my boy only breaks his favorite toys; down bad; so long, london; but daddy i love him; fresh out the slammer+florida!!!; guilty as sin?; who’s afraid of little old me?; i can fix him (no really i can); loml+chloe et al. (part 0.5)

the BANGER of all time

this is another song that is very self explanatory so i’m not going to talk about it in terms of taylor but instead how it can translate to other relationships or things. because at its core this song is about heartbreak and no one seeing it, maybe everyone does but the narrator doesn’t realize it, and his miserable they all are. and because of that i want to rant discuss it with how it relates to my life and grief because i think discussing it without the paternity testing can really let us see just how devastating it is. and i also want to rant about how this song is about me post my dad dying and trying to be a girlboss executive sorority member and good student when i was fucking killing myself basically every night while my actual health was failing and i couldn’t get out of bed most days.

this song is, hopefully, the cure to the curse that plagues part of the taylor swift community of not being able to hear lyrics past a catchy beat and actually understand how fucked up something is. the entire song does nothing but taylor talking about being miserable and depressed while hearing a smile in her voice because she has to put on a show. she can’t ever rest or stop because if she does people will mock her. the song is about her constantly running on fumes and telling herself to get up because she isn’t allowed to break down even when all she wants to do is break down.

and when we look at it as just that, taylor singing about the public having all eyes on her post breakup, we lose a part of the conversation as this song is about a woman grieving some truly devastating loses in her life but not feeling like she can be upset over it or show it. even with her world knowing she has gone through some of the worst things imaginable and that she should probably rest and take a break, they still keep demanding more. they’re not caring enough about the situation to see her as a person but as someone to use. someone who is trying to process a chapter of their life ending and trying to find themselves is now just being used. they don’t care if she’s already so far gone and broken because they still want to use her.

but it’s okay, they’ll say. because she loves doing this so it’s not to much to ask for her to work overtime so their lives are easier or they get something out of it. she’s coping by working :) there’s nothing wrong with us asking her for more while she’s working :) she loves it we know it for sure :) because she’s smiling see?:) she’s so happy to do this :) she doesn’t mind us overtaking her life :) who cares if she’s grieving or heart broken? she is smiling and that’s the only indication we need to know she’s okay :) because nothing ever goes on behind closed doors :):):):):):):):)

i don’t have much else to say on this besides what i’m already saying, the song is for girls who are constantly being used and never can show a crack in their armor or else it’ll be spread like wildfire around the world and them faking it is easier than knowing their grief being public and talked about and discussed and sold to the highest bidder. atleast this way no one has anything to say about them behind her back.

okay, that’s all i can muster without doing explicit details and names cause i’m getting heated and upset. but i will be talking about all of this in therapy on wednesday and we’re going to see wtf happens there because this song fucking unearthed way to much shit in me that has me angry and crying and upset because i’m actually finally acknowledging how fucked up it was that girls made me feel like i had to downplay my fathers cancer diagnosis and death.

also, i know none of those bitches will see this post, but if you do: FUCK YOU AND I HOPE YOU FUCKING GROW A BRAINCELL AND SOME EMPATHY AND UNDERSTAND JUST HOW AWFUL YALL REALLY ARE. IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN I WONT HESITATE TO CUSS YOU OUT. ROT IN HELL FOR ALL I CARE. ALSO A TINY EXTRA FUCK YOU TO NEVER ELECTING ME AS THE SCHOLARSHIP CHAIR WHEN I ACTUALLY DID MORE SHIT TO HELP THE SCHOLARSHIP CHAIRS YOU DID ELECT DO THEIR JOBS THAN THEY DID. AND FUCK YALL FOR DOING A TAYLOR SWIFT THEMED RUSH PARTY AFTER I DROPPED WHEN YOU MADE FUN OF ME FOR LIKING HER FOR YEARS!!!!!

anyway, i’ll see yall at the smallest man who ever lived.

[snoopysfriendwoodstock]

what's ur full ttpd song ranking and why?

omg… this will be long lol

1. who’s afraid of little old me? - taylor has tried “female rage” a couple times now and it always falls flat bc she has to be the victor/mastermind of all of it. mad woman & vigilante shit just kinda suck! FINALLY in this song she sort of admits defeat? i find it really interesting to hear her reflecting on her career & her own view of herself and the public perception of her without her feeling the need to throw a “but i’m okay! and actually i’m winning!” in at the end. also the vocals and theatrics are soooo good i just love it <3

2. the smallest man who ever lived - that ENDING. this takes me back to some very classic taylor songs, especially the dear john bridge or last kiss bridge and as a speak now girl i can’t get enough.

3. the prophecy - both people who love this song and people who hate it reduce it down to “she’s sad she doesn’t have a boyfriend” but imo this song perfectly captures the ACHE of being someone who just always has a little ribbon of loneliness running through them. it’s that dark middle of the night place you can’t let yourself go to. and it’s PERFECT.

4. so high school - i don’t have a lot to say here but this is the song she’s talking abt when she says she’s putting narcotics in them. i love it so much. do that impression you did of your dad again ❤️

5. but daddy i love him - i love her delusional ass! also the “i’m having his baby” line is soooo funny sorry!

6. guilty as sin? - there’s a reason this one’s a fan favorite! it’s just soooo good. there’s nothing wrong with a sexy song.

7. so long, london - “i’m just mad as hell cause i loved this place” is such a taylor line. so simply devastating. i think she got away from just very simply stating her emotions/feelings in her newer albums but this song has soooo many lines that go back to that form of writing that she’s so good at. “stopped trying to make him laugh” is another one that really hits.

8. loml - this hits my favorite genre of taylor swift song that is just so sad it’s almost like oh my god you have to stop… what a valiant roar! what a bland goodbye!

9. the black dog - ik i’m kind of a broken record at this point but “i just don’t understand how you don’t miss me” is SOOOO taylor. very early taylor! and i love the idea of taylor swift having someone’s location on her phone. she is sooo pathetic she’s just like me!

10. the bolter - songs used to be STORIES!

11. the alchemy - i can’t explain it. it just scratches my brain really well. i love how it soundssss

12. fresh out the slammer - i LOVE the chorus on this one. and i love when it slows down at the end and gets kinda weird.

13. clara bow - i LOVE this song. i love how haunting it is i love “you look like taylor swift” i love how pessimistic it is as an album closer. it feels like folklore again w/ hoax as the last song. she said we are NOT in change/long live/begin again/clean/new years day/daylight hours anymore we have LOST hope. in fact it’s super interesting compared to change/long live that are all optimistic about the industry/making a name for herself bc now she’s realized there were other taylor swifts before and there will be other taylor swifts later.

14. how did it end? - another just absolute fucking banger of a sad song. the commentary on fame/the public/her fanbase hits.

15. i hate it here - unfortunately this song is sooooo me it’s not even funny.

16. i can do it with a broken heart - who is this “nobody” that doesn’t know she’s miserable? i love this song it’s so funny. “i cry a lot but i am so productive” is a lyric that was necessary for society

17. my boy only breaks his favorite toys - this song grew on me SO much. it’s so pathetic i love it.

18. florida!!! - this song rocks so hard. i think taylor & florence’s voices compliment each other so much

19. the albatross - i love her voice on this one. she’s here to destroy you!!!

20. the tortured poets department - i love this one i’m sorry. i love the sound i love that it feels like she’s trying something new i love how cringe and desperate it is. also lucy dacus mention!

21. peter - i wish i understood this song the way a lot of people do but it’s simply not my favorite! i do love the way she keeps repeating “you said you were gonna grow up then you were gonna come find me” in the chorus. don’t listen to this & never grow up back to back. it’s not funny.

22. down bad - hated this one at first but it has REALLY grown on me. i love the alien abduction metaphor! “i might just die it would make no difference” is like come on girl get up

23. i look in people’s windows - love this one, don’t listen to it much. but never skip when it’s on. her voice is gorgeous and i loveee the writing on it

24. the manuscript - again, i don’t choose to put this one on much but holy shiiiitttt… now she eats kids cereal? and can only sleep if it’s in her mother’s bed?

25. cassandra - i love the idea of this and it has some great lyrics but i feel like she didn’t quite get it off the ground? i love the bridge. it’s like ALMOST there. cassandra is my favorite mythological figure so maybe i just had really high expectations.

26. imgonnagetyouback - this will for sure rise in the rankings soon bc i’m finally getting it. it’s so fun, just not as good as a lot of the anthology tracks.

27. fortnight - i don’t love this one, but the chorus is really catchy. & post malone’s verse is the best part, that gets stuck in my head all the time.

28. thanK you aIMee - god this song is so funny. “everybody knows my mother is a saintly woman but she used to say she wished that you were dead!” i’m just kinda sick of these kind of songs from her if that makes sense?

29. chloe or sam or sophia or marcus - i’m waiting for this one to click!!! i’m sure it will & there’s parts i REALLY like but i skip it every single time

30. robin - i’m sorry it’s a skip from me. it’s beautiful but i’m never ever wanting to hear it. it’s sweet! but not for me

31. i can fix him (no really i can) - idk the rhythm and tempo of this song doesn’t work for me. it sucks bc her voice is so sexy on this one & i love the pathetic aspect but i always skip. it’s not as bad as my least favorite on other albums tho <3

[tacky-jack-with-a-hat]

California 🎃 💔 ☠️

🎃 Halloween costume:

His usual clothes except his shirt is

💔 Breakups

•California is neurodiverse with high rejection sensitivity

When dumped:

•Even if the relationship was short (3 days or less) he'll still mourn it weeks after both due to inexperience, rushing into relationships and valuing gestures more than stability.

• Cali in his first relationship he didn't actually care who his partner was, he was just excited to woo them with Hollywood gestures (fancy restaurants, jewelry and personal gifts, romantic getaways). His partner loved this at first but slowly became more exhausted and requested staying in instead of going through another of Cali's carefully thought out date nights. California misunderstood this entirely.

Freaking out that his partner had gotten bored of him (or saw him as unattractive), Cali began increasing the big romantic gestures with the assumption they'd get their happily ever after. His partner actually felt smothered with the final straw being when Cali suddenly suggested they move in with him without actually asking his partner if that's what they wanted.

Cali didn't give up and still tried to impress his now ex with extravagant gifts and public declarations of love which only gave his partner second hand embarrassment. Cali stopped after his ex got a new boyfriend. After months of silence Cali began working on his perception of relationships and decreased the quantity of gestures in future relationships, but this didn't fix his main issue of comparing real life to Hollywood and not getting to know his partners first.

•This leads to his partners usually ghosting him when he gets too clingy.

•His worst relationship according to the other states was this guy who clearly didn't like Cali and used him for clout and the gifts. They were completely obnoxious and demanding to the point even Florida wad concerned but Cali kept insisting he was fine. The turning point was when the states found out he was deleting birthday messages on California's phone without him knowing to make it look like only they remembered California's birthday. They confronted Cali who didn't believe them, thinking the other states were playing a cruel joke on him and were trying to stomp on anything that makes Cali happy.

The states had a vote to determine how to split them up. Eventually, asking Gov to look into this guy's past and blackmail them. Gov was reluctant at first but during a night at the statehouse he saw just how miserable and paranoid California had become.

To California's knowledge, that guy was just one of many partners who ghosted him... To the states it's both the cruelest and kindest thing they've ever done to Cali.

California never questioned why the States were so kind to him after that breakup.

When dumping his partners:

•He prides himself that he's never broken up with anyone- as most of the states pointed out it's not a good thing given his terrible standards.

☠️ Random hc (tw eating disorders)

•California preaches veganism and healthy eating, however he secretly binge eats when states aren't looking. This is followed by an extreme amount of guilt and purging.

•This also coincides with his break ups as he assumes that all his partners eventually get bored of him and subsequently thinks he needs to be skinnier to make up for it. This is also what made Gov change his mind on the State's breakup plan.

•Florida was the first person to discover this. When he was staying with Cali, Florida would go to the kitchen for a midnight snack. He kept finding Cali eating from a secret stash of junk food and (not fully understanding the severity of the situation) Florida teases Cali for being a hypocrite. This made California feel worse and he stopped eating for the remainder of Florida's stay, throwing away any of the junk food he kept.

Florida realised on the last day when he saw Cali with thin hair, desperately chewing a candy wrapper, unable to fully move from exhaustion.

Not knowing how to properly help the situation Florida brought Cali a gift basket to share of all Florida's favourite foods as a "thank you" for letting him stay over and promised Cali he wouldn't tell the other states about his "cheat day" mistaking Cali's eating disorders for a break in a diet. Florida genuinely thought this helped, unknown to him most of that food was vomitted the moment he left.

•Florida didn't keep his mouth shut for long and one night made fun of Cali to Loui about California being a hypocrite. Loui was more concerned and ended up checking in on Cali. When his suspicions were confirmed he told some of the other states who staged an intervention.

•California is currently going through recovery but has shown signs of relapse but this time the states are aware of his symptoms.

[meilas]

Phantom of the Opera Wine List

Your wine sommeliers: 

@meilas: Concept, Graphics, Layout, Project Manager, Hadley, Barbara the Mannequin

@gwalchmedi: Franc D’Ambrosio, Norm Lewis, Drew Sarich, Peter Joback, Bronson Norris Murphy, Hugh Panaro, Michael Crawford, Jonathan Roxmouth, Jeremy Stolle, Barbara the Mannequin, Ethan Freeman, Peter Karrie, Dmitry Ermak, Earl Carpenter

inspired by @mxbuster: Uwe Kroger

inspired by @petittneko: Saulo Vasconcelos, Thiago Arancam

@devilswalkingstick: Cooper and triptychs

@when-it-rains-it-snows: Ben Lewis

DocTy: Alexander Goebel

Tina: Gina Beck

@from-aldebaran: Derrick Davis and proof-reader

@therosenpants: proof-reader and taste-tester

@box5intern: Christopher Carl

This wine list could not have turned out so well without the loving dedication of everyone involved. Thank you everyone for putting up with this silly project for so long!

D’Ambrosio Vintage Vintage 1962, best run 1998 Other nicknames: Cabernet Franc; Franc D’Amn that’s good!

Slither yourself down somewhere comfortable and loosen a few buttons while you steal a taste, slowly swirling your tongue around a luscious mouthful of this full-bodied, ambrosial red. Every note stays with you while you are distracted by its elegant looks, get reeled in by a silvery touch, and feel it gliding along your throat. As you swallow, a slow leisurely piquancy reveals a muscular body and delivers a prominent, long, full finish. A total god of a wine. Keeps giving satisfaction long after you have embraced your last glassful.

Bottling notes: The reddest of red wines in the bluest of containers, and the perfect precursor to pants-less pastimes. Comes in our most prominent bottle.

Saulo Vasconcelos, vintage 1999

An epic year for Brazilian wines, this timeless choice has performed in many a fine vintage bottle. A few tastings will assure you that this wine leaves you anything but Miserable, being a bit of a beast in disguise. Delightfully playful, sensuously hands-on with its flavour, and encasing you in its warm, chocolate tones, you’ll find yourself helplessly succumbing to its embrace. A proper, stern Daddy of a wine, this is one for those who like their types mature and commanding. De Nada!

Crémant NormLew Château Tallahassee

A first for a Crémant from this region of Florida, you’ll be getting a plethora of orchard fruits here with delightful baritone notes! Up there with the finest of champagnes, just enjoy how this Crémant gives such a unique expression of its appellation.

Peter Jöback

This fiery Scandinavian grape is a notoriously difficult one to grow well, but prolific once it takes hold, which makes this lovely drop of sleek Swedish red even more impressive! The acidity has a true, tenor register, a light note that is just right for pairings with other Swedish delicacies, I'd say. Very quaffable indeed.

Drew Sarich

With a very young feel to this Veltliner grape, it actually delivers a surprise that is a decade ahead of itself. This wine has a long taste on the tongue, sitting there like a kitten purring in your lap. Delightfully complex, this is a New York socialite of a vintage with a phantasm of aromatic perfume on it which is absolutely phenomenal. It’s fascinating how the acidity is so high that it somewhat devilishly disguises the wine’s natural sweetness.

Dreamclimber from the House of Derrick Davis Two pressings, 2016-2017 and 2019-2020

An astonishingly underappreciated vintage, Dreamclimber will make you abandon your defenses from the very first sip. A potent mix of smooth deep notes of dark oak ranging upward to a soaring sunshiney sweetness, the positive energy in every bottle offers sweet intoxication and will fundamentally alter your outlook on life. The dynamic and passionate essence of Dreamclimber elevates everything around it, so if you need to restage a meal, add this bold and muscular yet soft and sensual wine to your table. Want to stay one step ahead of the crowd? Catch a Broadway-bound dream of a wine and you can say you were among the first to realize its genuine and soul-stirring star power. Dreamclimber has the uplifting soulfulness to take you and your guests to where you long to be!

Bronson Norris Murphy Variety: Babygrapes

The very youngest of our vintages, this wine has brought out excitingly different comments from our patrons. Respected Voices talk knowledgeably either about its Wheel of Flavours, or enjoy a genuine Laugh about how this rush of taste almost knocks them over; still others amongst the cognoscenti talk about its delightfully Icie youthfulness and endearing features, or how a glassful taken at bedtime would counter a Snowy cold evening. One Purist anonymously chuckled that a grape as vigorous as this could be put in more than one setting and still retain its delightful, child-like boyish charms. Two stunningly dressed patrons, in Rose and Cora(l), admitted they’d been given a taste of this wine secretly, a sort of cameo appearance before its launch, and had felt the vibes of the overt rosehip and petal flavours long before it had become popular. The pair’s general consensus was that this vintage was young enough to Make It on the scene, although the coquettish undertones about vinicultural size and handspan were elusively enticing. The Vast Glassy Orangery was agog with gossip about some Baguette-wielding youth (and their noteworthy tailoring) having hugely overdosed on the tasting previously, almost knocking their socks off with its pale beauty and fragrant scents. Their partner in crime, a clear Persephone of a beauty, was wearing delicious couture from the House of ChristineGrrl, and the effect of this duo almost matched the effect of the wine’s heady aroma on the delightfully younger crowd. Suffice to say the vintage was a resounding success and its aura of vinicultural adolescence bursting into manhood held everyone in its attractive grasp. One worth keeping.

Panaro Prosecco

The elevation that every note in this charismatic, versatile Prosecco provides ensures that the bubbles in this Panaro Prosecco are so much lighter than in the flatter and usually insipid Chagny Champagnes to which they are unfairly compared. For me, there is no contest; crystal clear delivery, in a bottle with movie star good looks, this vintage delivers a deliciously singing bouquet, with beautifully crisp notes of apple to finish.

Michael Crawford, vintage 1986

Oh yes, this most venerable of English sparkling wines has a well-rounded palate with a hint of the most delicate, sweetest of orchard fruits giving way to deeper notes of Parisian brioche, with a hint of French kisses. French, I hear you ask - but did you know that English winemakers use the same traditional method that the French use to produce Champagne?

Jonathan Roxmouth, vintage b.1987, run 2011-2012, 2019

Not an easy Chenin Blanc grape variety to like on first encounter, this South African powerhouse has a drawn-out tingle which stays on your tongue, and wanders high into your head. The yearning feel to break out in full fruit mode is hidden beneath the complex mix of earthy, graveyard depths. You may feel the emotional and smoky hint of stalk, but a flash of strength beneath its velvet glove packs a punch like no other. Rox your Sox.

The St(r)olle

The smoothest of our wines, this will simultaneously quench your thirst and leave you begging for more. In parts of America, this vintage used to be obscure, yet when you taste it, you’ll wonder why.  This wine takes a confident, sassy stroll across your palate, its taste coiling a lasso around you as rock solid as Henry Cavill’s abs. Achingly rich and smooth, sporting lush, sweet toned, deep throated berry notes tinged with vanilla, it has suave yet elemental flavors pushing out from a deep, muscular centre. One not to be trifled with.

Barbara the Mannequin, vintage 1988

Wooden and oaky, this wine is perfect for poorly-thought-out proposals. We’ve all known at least one weird, dorky guy who somehow engineered a vision of a hot chick.  This wine is that chick.  Barbara is also known for its thin, acid nature, bolstered with a dressing that feels domineering, but sadly is only a foreshadowing of a disappointingly textured mouthfeel, with little middle, and an abrupt finish.

Hadley Fraser, vintage: 2 weeks old

A light dessert wine that sometimes forgets how it is supposed to taste. It’s not its fault. Really. We just didn’t give it enough time before bottling it.

Alexander Goebel Der Goebel Veltliner - Vintage 1988

Often overlooked and replaced by the Freeman, its direct descendant, the Goebel is the true original flavour of Vienna's best vineyards, planted and cultivated by the same London vintners that originated the Crawford. Since 1988 the deep rich tones of Dunkelheit in this wine have melted the heart and palate of real connoisseurs around the globe, who also appreciate the high Skan-da-lös and Maskenball notes that follow the first taste. Best served in the Original Cast environment (especially accompanied with a side dish of Nistler and Pfeifer) to highlight its most recognizable qualities, it is also recommended in its "boot" version where its taste is sublimated by visual experience to heighten each sensation.

Peter Karrie

Vintage with a distinctive voice. A commanding flavour, this is a wine both dangerous and elegant, one a chivalrous soul would offer to another, with a heart-rending tone, and an unparalleled physicality and wealth of detail. This grape makes the wine totally in a class of its own, with a wandering taste yet, by some rare and strange alchemy, with a touch of the rock band too. A bit of The Wolf in this bottle.

Ermak Syrah

Our only Slavic wine to date. Once phans sneak a taste of Ermak, they become avid for this imposing Russian grape. Its notes are powerful and bright, dominated by scents of ripe rich raspberry, and a touch of smoke that either comes from barrels toasted over a hickory flame or all that sexy heat. The Eastern European earthy touch, common in ‘Old World’ Syrah, is always present on the back of the palate, but bright succulent flavours mingle with those of hazelnut and chocolate. The tannins swirl like Rusalki across your taste buds, as smooth and alluring as Ermak himself.

G. Beck, vintage 2010

A silken, dry, red English wine with a strong note of blackcurrant. There’s a hint of youthfulness in its complexities. A wine so lovely it will bring tears to your eyes, as the taste conjures up the image of wistfully walking through a graveyard while crying about your father. Perfect after a day of tired feet from wearing heels and heavy gala dresses for too long, and with dark chocolate… or perhaps even Marmite on toast, if you’re feeling adventurous? It has also been blessed by a certain soprano’s tuxedo cat, because why not.

Tested and reviewed by: Tina, who was definitely in a country where the legal age of drinking is 17 at the time. She immediately bought nearly the entire stock and gave it a 6 out of 5 stars rating.

Thiago Arancam, vintage 1982

A total Batata Bonita, this wine from a little-known grape has been successfully transplanted from 13,000 feet up at Insosso Opera’s vineyard to the less stratospheric Sem Sal Palco Musical’s estate. You might call it a vinho on a budget mais fácil. With an early unmasking of a distinct brasiliaro flavour, this is one wine which ought to know how to show its range of notes, but sometimes just pales into insignificance.

Earl Carpenter

A strong bold grape should produce an overbearing wine. Instead, what we have here is viniculture’s version of a smooth Movie Star. Nuanced, sensual and gentle on the palate, it has a buttery feel, although on occasion this vintage’s notes are somewhat uncertain. Building up towards a taste explosion, too much enthusiastic sampling will find you too far gone to stop at the final reveal.

BEN BEN BEN Shiraz 2011

BEN BEN BEN is most curious; the 2011 is one of just two Phantom varietals that are easily acquired, yet rarely is it recommended. Best suited to the mad friends of Dionysus, this Australian Shiraz is a magic show as run by the white tigers:  absolutely beautiful, but whose idea was this? It cannot possibly end well… No amount of familiarity with the Brilliant Original will prepare the palate for this Absolute Beast. Expect to be dragged from delicately smoky baritone lows to peppery near-tenor highs; you may feel a little wide-eyed as you study the legs and ponder what that cheekbone is doing to the mouthfeel. Swooning is fine, this glass will pick you up from the floor, it is broad shouldered and surprisingly sweet.

A word to the wise: don't finish the bottle. Pour out that last twenty minutes in memory of the rare 2018 vintage, BEN! KELLY! BEN! KELLY!, of which no complete bottles exist.

Uwe Kroger, vintage 1964, 2006

Ye little gods, here was a tone with an unsettling quirky tongue to it, cutting right through the sweet fruit; an acidity, quite at odds with its vinicultural opulence. This lick of minerality which is just a fingertip’s distance away, is a bit old hat. Been done to death. Somewhat late to the party and overdressed too. It is easier to define what it is not – that is, it is not richness, nor fleshiness, nor texture, it is just there, this odd mineral flavour bringing neither a sense of purpose nor a sense of depth, fashionably unpopular, kookier and saltier than a bag of KP nuts, changeable without letting you know where it is going. And in any case, minerals, rocks and stones have no flavour at all. In Kresowy Slavic folklore, the “flavour” of stones is caused by an invisible substance called petrichor, which, according to my Russian-Greek-English thesaurus (what? It’s the only one I’ve got! Give me a break!) is “constructed from petra (πέτρα), meaning ‘stone’, and īchōr (ἰχώρ), the fluid that flows in the veins of the gods of Russian mythology.”

Gary Mauer

Are you married to your job? Just the wine for you! With a hint of sexy Dionysian wildness in its overtones, this sexy, vastly diverting and deliciously deep flavoured wine hits up hard on the brain. A sparkling good character with a touch of flair on its first taste, under all that joie de vivre, subsequent contact may make you come unhinged in the final analysis. Touted by wine snobs as 100% clean and wholesome in taste, those of us in the know greedily drink up the wicked taste and flavour, both of which provide a powerhouse duo, giving an amazing almost Elizabethan scent to the final mouthful. Having dashing good looks, this wine has a lovely tenor to its middle notes. While fairly standard from a non-specialist standpoint, it is sprinkled with touches of genius throughout; the distant whispered scent of a bridal bouquet of roses: so romantic. All in all, a great wine with a hugely masculine edge.

Ethan Freeman

A Viennese delight, this unexpected Rosé has distinct European notes, yet a brash American aroma. Moreover, it has a singing finish on the palate. A demanding Jekyll and Hyde of a wine, the duality of the fresh flavour of Oberhaüsen strawberries combined with the descending chill of the faint ghost of basement scents have resulted in a complex type of legerdemain that can be almost felt, not just tasted. Best experienced on hot summer nights.

Cooper, vintage 2014

Far too many notes for our taste, and most of them about this wine.  Just read this review left by a customer!  (We would like to remind everyone that we card any customers who appear to be younger than 21.) “A delightful wine, positively wonderful, just the perfect stubbly lad. Anytime is Coopertime. Also sweet.”

Christopher Carl

Looks like a meme but also 100% legit like a stock image of STOIC MAN (TM) sold by Hasbro. (Wine bottle and fine horses sold separately.)

[quendiviner]

🍊🐈⛄️hehe

YAYYYYY <3 i'm picking toby bc i am procrastinating studying chem rn haha

headcanons ask game

🧡 for a friendship-themed headcanon

Toby has, well, a really hard time getting friends?I've joked about it being a poorly socialized puppy before but the thing is that Tobias is in fact a bit badly socialized in a way that back when it was a child it basically had barely any free time and barely had anyone to hang out with (+ the whole thing of moving to another planet, stuff like that). It had people it talked to, but did it have proper friends? Not really... :(

Of course he's definitely gotten better at it after a while, but he still has some problems with it. It could have people who it knows and maybe kinda sees as friends but it's never completely sure if they see it as their friend and stuff like that. It is afraid of being the first who contacts others & sometimes (especially if it's, well, in a bad situation mental health wise) may go "ooooh i must be so annoying if i try to talk with others" and stuff like that wbdbjxkxjxj it feels very lonely sometimes.

Most of the friendships it has right now just happened accidentally and it's like, trying its best not to lose them 😭

🐈 for a pet/animal-themed headcanon

Toby's always been a cat person! It really relates to them with the whole "sleep as much as you can and do whatever you want" thing :^)

When it was working in its corpo job, it used to volunteer at a local cat shelter very often. It didn't really do it while it was in it's Florida era, but definitely got back into volunteering when it moved to Boston :)

Funny thing is, it has never had a cat until it and Klara got together bc she and Mabel had a ragdoll in their apartment and since Toby was spending time there a lot it was basically taking care of it ajdjjxjcbx 🥹 When they first moved together to a new apartment, the owners had a no pets policy so they were basically without cats for a while. Then when they moved into their second apartment, one and a half years later they found a stray kitten (Melody) and decided to keep her, and then like half a year later they got Song from their friend. :3

⛄ for a season-themed headcanon

Toby looooooves autumn, it makes it so happy. It likes the colorful trees, rain, sweater weather, things like that. It gets overly excited about it, too, and will talk abt it and wear autumn related colors a lot.

Toby doesn't really have any experiences with proper, snowy winter, not counting its early years on Mars. It likes the idea of snow but would probably get cold very quickly abdbbfbfnc

It thinks spring is an okay season but doesn't really like it due to its hay fever 😭

Tobias & summer don't really go together bc it can't wear its favorite outfits due to the heat and it's basically feeling so miserable due to the weather sjdjjxnxjfjx

[starlit-meloncholia]

36. Is there a place that makes you sad to return to?

ooh, yeah. it's pretty much anywhere back home in the Tampa Bay area in Florida. i just immediately disassociate and just have a miserable time when i visit home, even when nothing bad happens. it's true what they say, you really can't ever go home again. it moves on without you, and everyone you knew also go on with their lives, and things change when you aren't looking... and before you know it it just stops being home altogether ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

it was super depressing when i visited home for the first time after moving away, but at this point it more just bums me out a bit. after I got over the loneliness and depression of realizing i didn't have a home anymore (in the metaphorical sense), i started actually putting down roots and building a new home for myself up here. i made a bunch of new really great friends like @rlainarin and @hexblades-curse (not to mention my amazing local partners @puppykittymousegirl @knightesshawk and @miststorms), started actually exploring and familiarizing myself with my new area, and honestly i'd say i'm 100% a better person now for having expanded my horizons and moving across the country on a whim. it wasn't easy, it was definitely worth it, but also i don't really visit florida much anymore if i can help it. when i do i try to go to the Orlando area or the panhandle, pretty much anywhere that's not around Tampa.