#52s fa

[comefarelalinguaccia]

ESERCIZIO Lingua a ventaglio: Prova a espandere la lingua il più possibile verso l'esterno, come se stessi creando un ventaglio. Tieni questa posizione per qualche secondo prima di rilassarti.

EXERCISE Tongue fan: Try to expand your tongue as far out as possible, as if you were creating a fan. Hold this position for a few seconds before relaxing.

[daily-sluggcats]

day 52 - Kanade Yoisaki??!?!?!?!?!

it was her birthday yesterday okay she DESERVES it

[demonecelestiale]

la tag sta riprendendo raga si sta riprendendo!!! ma ci sta mettendo un po'

[umi-no-onnanoko]

100 domande curiose

1. Libro preferito?

2. Autore preferito?

3. Poesia preferita?

4. Ti piace scrivere?

5. Ti piace leggere?

6. Disegni?

7. Ti piace l'arte?

8. Sei mai stato/a ad un museo?

9. Artista preferito?

10. Film preferito?

11. Attore/attrice preferito/a?

12. Regista preferito?

13. Colonna sonora preferita?

14. Saga preferita?

15. Personaggio preferito di Harry Potter?

16. Personaggio preferito di un libro?

17. Personaggio preferito di un film?

18. Serie tv preferita?

19. Canzone preferita?

20. Cantante preferito/a?

21. Band preferita?

22. Hai mai scritto una canzone?

23. Hai mai scritto una lettera a mano?

24. Hai mai ricevuto una lettera scritta a mano?

25. La pazzia più grande che hai fatto?

26. Ti piacciono le sorprese?

27. La sorpresa migliore che hai ricevuto?

28. La sorpresa più bella che hai fatto?

29. Quale pianeta visiteresti?

30. Preferiresti essere una sirena o una fata?

31. Quale decade preferisci?

32. Sei una persona creativa?

33. Quale lavoro vorresti esistesse?

34. Quali animali vorresti si unisserero per dare vita ad una nuova specie?

35. Pic nic al mare o in montagna?

36. Ti piace il teatro?

37. Hai mai visto un balletto?

38. Sei mai stato/a ad un concerto?

39. Hai mai cantato in pubblico?

40. Hai mai ballato in pubblico?

41. Adotteresti un bambino?

42. Adotteresti un animale?

43. Moto o auto?

44. Preferisci nuotare o volare?

45. Quale personaggio Disney pensi di essere?

46. Quale villain Disney ti rappresenta?

47. Quale cultura ti affascina?

48. Se potessi condividere un senso (tatto, vista,olfatto, gusto,udito) con la tua anima gemella quale condivideresti?

49. Vampiro o licantropo?

50. Credi nella fiamma gemella?

51. Temporale o arcobaleno?

52. Musica classica o rock?

53. Ti piace recitare?

54. Hai mai suonato in pubblico?

55. Hai mai recitato in pubblico?

56. Sai leggere i silenzi?

57. Sai rispettare i silenzi?

58. Soffri il solletico?

59. Riesci a fare ridere gli altri?

60. Sai ascoltare?

61. Ti fidi?

62. Ti piace fare foto?

63. Sei fotogenico/a?

64. Musica in streaming, Spotify, CD o vinile?

65. Anime preferito?

66. Manga preferito?

67. Meglio i manga/anime di ieri o quelli di oggi?

68. Cartone animato preferito?

69. Il tuo cavallo di battaglia in cucina?

70. Il piatto che proprio non ti riesce?

71. Quale colore non sopporti?

72. Cosa non può mancare in casa tua?

73. Quale tua caratteristica vorresti avessero anche gli altri?

74. Cosa "rubesti" da un altra persona?

75. Come organizzeresti il primo appuntamento?

76. Come vorresti fosse il tuo prima appuntamento?

77. Faresti il primo passo?

78. Amicizia uno a uno o gruppo di amici?

79. Le parole che vorresti sentirti dire?

80. Cosa vorresti dire agli altri?

81. Credi nel destino?

82. Credi nella fortuna?

83. Pratichi la gratitudine?

84. Ti senti cambiato rispetto a 10 anni fa?

85. Cosa cambieresti di questi ultimi 10 anni?

86. Come ti vedi tra 10 anni?

87. La famiglia è solo quella di sangue?

88. Gli amici sono una seconda famiglia?

89. Si deve sempre perdonare chi si ama?

90. Cosa non ti perdoni?

91. Vorresti tornare bambino/a o diventare adulto/a?

92. Vorresti essere del sesso contrario al tuo?

93. Balletto preferito?

94. Ballerino/a preferito?

95. Conosci il messaggio dei fiori?

96. Giorno o notte ?

97. Alba o tramonto?

98. Freddo o caldo?

99. Sole o pioggia?

100. Scegli tu questa domanda

[pensieri-inlacrime]

1. Nome e cognome?

2. Quanti anni hai?

3. Dove vivi?

4. Single?

5. Com'è la tua famiglia?

6. La stanza preferita di casa tua?

7. Ti senti sicuro a casa tua?

8. Vivi nella stessa casa in cui hai passato l'infanzia?

9. Quali nomi daresti ai tuoi figli?

10. Ti piacciono i bambini?

11. Ti piacciono gli animali?

12. Top 3 animali che preferisci?

13. Quale animale ti rappresenta meglio?

14. Quale animale ti spaventa di più?

15. Quali sono le tue paure più grandi?

16. Hai mai superato una tua paura nella vita?

17. Qual è la cosa più folle che hai fatto per amore?

18. Ti vorresti sposare?

19. Meglio lasciare o essere lasciati?

20. Meglio amare o essere amati?

21. Nel sesso, meglio dare o ricevere?

22. Qual è l'ingrediente segrete per del buon sesso secondo te?

23. Il posto ideale per fare l'amore?

24. Mai provato attrazione per qualcuno del tuo stesso sesso?

25. Mai provato attrazione per qualcuno del sesso opposto al tuo?

26. Lingerie o nudità?

27. Pagheresti mai per fare sesso?

28. Legalizzeresti droghe e prostituzione?

29. Ti trasferiresti in un'altra nazione se ne avessi la possibilità?

30. Se ti costringessero a lasciare l'Italia, in quale Paese andresti?

31. Cosa ne pensi della politica?

32. Qual è l'ingiustizia più grande del mondo secondo te?

33. Le guerre sono sempre sbagliate secondo te?

34. Quale sarebbe la tua reazione se una persona ti dicesse che è vittima di violenza in famiglia?

35. Cosa pensi dei bulli?

36. Ricordi con piacere i tuoi anni scolastici?

37. Qual era la tua materia preferita a scuola?

38. Avevi un buon rapporto con i professori?

39. Quali tecniche usavi per saltare le interrogazioni?

40. Come si chiamavano i tuoi compagni di banco?

41. Maglio scuola o lavoro?

42. Che lavoro fai?

43. Che lavoro vorresti fare?

44. Sei un procrastinatore seriale?

45. Lavori meglio da solo o in team?

46. Come hai vissuto il periodo della pandemia?

47. Come te la cavi in cucina?

48. Dolce o salato?

49. Quale tipo di pasta preferisci?

50. Frutta o verdura?

51. Quale panino ordini più spesso al McDonald's?

52. Sei vegetariano o vegano?

53. Sei astemio?

54. Il tuo drink preferito?

55. Meglio vino o birra?

56. L'ultima cosa che hai mangiato?

57. Ti va di descriverti fisicamente?

58. Ti va di descriverti caratterialmente?

59. Vai in terapia?

60. Credi che la terapia di coppia sia utile?

61. Ti fidi dei medici?

62. Hai mai messo i punti per qualche ferita?

63. Cosa credi che succeda dopo la morte?

64. C'è qualche caro morto che vorresti riabbracciare?

65. Con quale personaggio storico vorresti passare 24h per conoscerlo meglio?

66. Consigliami tre film

67. Consigliami tre serie TV

68. Consigliami tre videogiochi

69. Consigliamo tre giochi in scatola

70. Il tuo personaggio preferito del signore degli anelli?

71. Il tuo personaggio preferito della Marvel?

72. Il tuo personaggio preferito Harry Potter?

73. Hai mai fatto teatro/cinema?

74. Hai qualche talento nascosto?

75. Meglio lodare o essere lodati?

76. Che modello di telefono hai?

77. A quanto sta la tua batteria?

78. Quale invenzione già esistente avresti voluto inventare tu?

79. Collezioni qualcosa?

80. Hai una morning routine?

81. Sei una persona disordinata od ordinata?

82. Quale lingua vorresti saper parlare?

83. Quale laurea vorresti avere?

84. Di quale sport vorresti essere campione del mondo?

85. Ti piacciono le persone muscolose?

86. Ti piacciono le persone alte?

87. Ti piacciono le persone in carne?

88. Il tuo orientamento religioso?

89. Che ruolo ha Dio nella tua vita?

90. Qual è un difetto che non sopporti negli altri?

91. Qual è un pregio che apprezzi sempre negli altri?

92. Meglio parlare od ascoltare?

93. Quale social usi di più?

94. C'è qualcuno che ti manca?

95. C'è qualcuno che vorresti ti lasciasse in pace per sempre?

96. Cosa diresti al te di dieci anni fa?

97. Quale stagione preferisci?

98. Qual è il tuo colore preferito?

99. Qual è un cartone della tua infanzia?

100. Dimmi a quale domanda vorresti rispondere così te la faccio

[alostalienn]

NSFW ASKS

SEND ME A NUMBER

1:When did you lose your virginity?

2: Rough sex or soft sex?

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?

5: Favourite sex position?

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

7: Have you ever had any one night stands?

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

12: How often do you have sex?

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

22: Do you/would you use sex toys?

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?

24: Would you have sex with your best friend?

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?

27: Early morning sex or late night sex?

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?

29: Favourite body part on the same sex?

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

35: Worst possible time to get horny:

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

37: How much fapping is too much fapping:

38: Best sexual complement you ever got:

39: Favorite foreplay activities:

40: What do you wear to bed?

41: When was the first time you masturbated:

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

53: Do you watch porn?

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

57: If you could give yourself head, would you?

58: Booty or Boobs?

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

65. What is your bra/penis size?

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

67. When was the last time you masturbated?

68. When was the last time you had sex?

69. When was the last time you watched porn?

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

71. Guys:Circumsized?

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

77. Which wet dream was your favorite?

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

80. Favorite sexual position?

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

82. Are you into any BDSM?

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

84. Do you like dirty talk?

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

92. Ask whatever you want

[a-killer-obsession]

🔞 Minors DNI 🔞

A search for a rumored Vegapunk weapon leads the Kid Pirates to an unexpected new crewmate, with a bloodlust that rivals their own and an incredible power.

CW: Please check AO3 for all current warnings, but general warning for smut, slow burn, serious gore, and really dark themes. AFAB reader, she/her pronouns.

Masterlist || AO3 || Chapter 1

Chapter 52 - Rapid Fire Nut Machine

This is just smut.

Word Count: ~5.4k

A/N: WE ARE SO BACK! Thanks you your patience 💕

After several hours of being lost in thought, almost dozing off as you waited, you finally got your answer as to who had won what you assumed was an inevitable fight between Kid and Kamazo. You heard his eerie laughter echoing through the destroyed village, a singular set of heavy footfalls on the dirt road getting louder as as he got closer. You didn't bother to cloak yourself, if he wanted to find you he would have no problem doing so with his haki, but he also had no real reason to find you. At least you hoped that was the case. If Kid was dead, you were probably of no use to him either. But maybe he just wanted revenge for knocking him out, maybe his bloodlust was bringing him to you.

Regardless, as he got closer you pulled your dagger from the harness on your thigh, superheating the blade until it was searingly hot as the bandaged face of Kamazo came into view through the half-collapsed doorway, like something from a horror film. You held your breath steady the way you'd been taught in the marines, you wouldn't let him have the satisfaction of scaring you, or taking your life. If it was you versus him, so be it, you had a daughter waiting for you. Killer would understand, he'd sacrifice himself a thousand times over to save you, he would never fault you for killing the pretender who had taken control of his body.

Kamazo eyed the blade warily as he stooped to pass under the doorframe, approaching you slowly with a short laugh. Your hand was shakier than you expected as you pointed your dagger at him, and you swore you saw a flicker of sadness in his eyes as they flicked between you and the white-hot blade. Try as you might, your fear was beginning to set in, but it wasn't fear of death. Your devil fruit outmatched him tenfold. It was fear of killing the man who wore your lover's face that really scared you.

“Don't come any closer,” you warned, “I don't want to fight you, but I fuckin’ will. I won't let you keep me from my daughter.”

“Is Dawn okay? Fa-fa-fa-fa,” he asked, his voice a little choked. Your brows raised a little, knife lowering slightly at the unexpected question.

“She's- she's fine,” you replied hesitantly.

“And you?” He took a slow step towards you, making you back up and raise your blade again, “[Y/n], are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I'm fine,” you spat, “no thanks to you, or Kid.”

“He told me he hit you,” he sighed before a short bout of laughter took him. He coughed as he struggled to suppress it, shaking his head like he was bothered with himself before turning his attention back to you. “I told him to stay away while I came to find you, he's cooling off in that house he said you showed him. Are you okay? Did he badly hurt you?”

Something was off about Kamazo. He was too calm, too quiet, too in control of his movements. He should have attacked you by now. And… he called you by your name. Your real name, the one only those closest to you knew, shared with them in an act of love and trust. Your blade cooled as it lowered, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you looked carefully at his icy blues and recognized the love in them that had been missing during your previous encounters.

“Killer?” You whispered, like if you spoke too loudly you might scare away the small dash of hope you had. Killer let out a deep sigh of relief and nodded as he stepped towards you, quickly stopping as he saw the way you recoiled. “Please- please don't touch me,” you quickly stuttered, eyes pointed at the floor, “you look like… him.”

It took a moment for Killer to understand what you meant, before he started tearing the bandages from his face and the ones that held his hair in a tight ponytail. Deciding that still wasn't enough, he stripped his clothes off too, dumping his cloak and kimono to the floor and kicking off his shoes, leaving him in only the local traditional version of underwear. He looked more like himself now, his bangs in their rightful place hanging over his face, his goatee fluffy as ever, though the usually well groomed sides of his face were overgrown and rugged. On his arm was the same scar he'd gotten protecting you from that dragon creature, what felt like an age ago. Across his chest was a deep gash, red and angry and barely scabbed over, though it didn't seem to bother him much.

“Kil, you're hurt,” you said softly, taking a nervous step towards him.

“I'm okay,” he replied, carefully holding your arms as you reached out to inspect his wound, “are you okay?”

“I am now,” you sniffed, before letting him embrace you properly as a sob broke harshly from you, “I was so scared, I thought they broke you for good. I'm sorry for knocking you out.”

“You did what you had to,” he replied, pressing a kiss into your hair as he slid your visor off, flicking your seastone bracelet for you, “I wasn't me, you had to protect yourself. Fa-fa-fa-fa.” Killer growled softly to himself at the laughter, “sorry, I can't control the laughing.”

“I know, it's okay,” you sniffed, cupping his face with your hands, stroking your thumbs over his cheeks, “I know they made you eat a defective SMILE. I'm so sorry Kil, I tried to find a fix but I just kept killing them.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The SMILE, it's changing your brainwaves,” you explained, “I can feel them, and I can feel where they get muddled, but when I tried to alter them on a few other SMILE fruit victims I accidentally killed them instead.”

“Ah, I see,” he hummed, “it's fine. I've got you in my arms, that's all that matters. Where's Dawnie?”

“The Heart Pirates are looking after her for me,” you sighed. Killer sensed your exhaustion and guided you to sit on the floor, pulling you into his lap so he could hold you properly and wrapping his cloak around you both. “Do you… do you know if Heat is alive?”

“He was last time I saw him, fa-fa-fa-fa-fa,” Killer soothed you, rubbing your back with gentle circles. Just being close to him was a balm, hearing his familiar steady heartbeat and his calming voice, even despite the random bouts of laughter. “They were keeping us all alive, in the hopes that Kid would crack and Kaido would gain a crew's worth of subordinates. They're near the capital. We'll go to find them tomorrow, Kid wants to rest first.”

“I don't give a shit what Kid wants,” you growled. Killer sighed heavily before tilting you back and lifting your shirt to inspect the bruise Kid had given you.

“He didn't mean it,” Killer insisted, inspecting the fist sized patch of purple skin, “and I know he regrets it. Just give him time to pull his head out of his ass, fa-fa-fa-fa.”

“He's a fucking asshole,” you grumbled, pulling your shirt down and nuzzling back into Killer's chest.

“You're not wrong, fa-fa-fa-fa,” that laugh may have perhaps been genuine. His head rested against yours as he squeezed you tighter to him, breathing in your comforting scent. He was at least glad that he didn't remember a great deal of the last month, it made it easier to ignore his hurting heart. It made him feel for you though, you hadn't been as lucky; all on your own, no doubt scared and lonely and having to protect his daughter all on your own. “I love you, [y/n],” he whispered, “thank you for coming to get us. And for not letting us drown. Kid is thankful too, he just needs to get his shit together, he's been through a lot as well. I'm sorry for putting you both through so much bullshit.”

“It's not your fault, it's Kaido's,” you grumbled, “I'm gonna kill that fucking snake.”

“Kid wants to go after him as well, once we find the others,” Killer hummed, “you don't have to do this on your own anymore.”

“I missed you, Kil,” you sniffed, turning in his lap so you could bury your face in his shoulder, “I was so fucking scared.” Killer shifted uncomfortably at your movement and you quickly realised why, feeling the hardness between your legs as you shifted to straddle his lap. You looked down between your bodies, seeing the clear tent that was barely contained by his fundoshi. “Oh.” You said quietly.

“Sorry…fa-fa-fa-fa,” Killer cleared his throat and looked away, like he was ashamed of himself, “here you are spilling out your heart after what must have been a fucking awful month, and I can't control my fucking cock.”

“It's okay Kil,” you soothed, reaching down to free his erection, making him let out a stuttered breath as you took it in your hand. It was so pleasantly heavy in your palm, you'd forgotten how pretty his cock was. “Let me warm you,” you whispered in a sultry tone, pulling aside your panties and lining him up. You'd missed him so bad, it didn't take much to get you wet just thinking about feeling him inside you.

“You don't have to do that,” he bit his lip as you sank down torturously slowly, letting out a long groan and closing his eyes as your cunt moulded around him. There was a sting from lack of preparation, but the pleasure of being connected to your lover after so long apart far outweighed it. His hands rested on your thighs as you met his base, and you let out a soft sigh as his thumbs rubbed circles on your skin. “Fuck, I forgot how good your cunt feels.”

“I missed having you fill me,” you sighed contently as you wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your head against his chest. His heart was beating much faster now, you weren't surprised. If his month had been anything like Kid's, he probably hadn't had a moment to himself and was immensely pent up, it was no wonder he got hard so easily. As though to emphasise your thoughts, Killer pressed his face against your shoulder, groaning as his grip on your thighs tightened.

“Please,” he whimpered, desperate to feel you riding him. He didn't need to beg any further, he felt so good inside you that you couldn't help but raise your hips. Kid was right, what you'd done with him was purely comfort. This was different; with your lover inside you, you felt more complete than you had in weeks. You wished Heat was here beside you as well, but you were thankful that you at least had this moment to share with Killer. To feel his warm body against yours and his hot breath on your ear as his hands guided you to rise and fall, his cheek pressed against yours, sweat mingling between your bodies. You turned your head slightly to meet his eyes, half lidded as yours were, but full of love and adoration.

You weren't sure who kissed who, but your lips were crashing together in a wet and desperate manner. His tongue was quick to seek entry and your own was eager to rub against his, whining into his mouth as he moved one hand to circle your clit with his thumb. “Fuck,” he groaned as he pulled away, his forehead pressed against yours, his hand on your cheek to hold you close, “I can't, I can't-”

“Do you want me to stop?” You asked, a sad tint to your voice. Maybe it was too soon, maybe he'd been through things you couldn't fathom and it was too much for him.

“NO!” he shouted quickly, “don't stop, fuck, please don't stop. I just- I can't hold back much longer. Fuck, I'm- I'm gonna cum.”

“Me too,” you whined, the coil in the pit of your stomach pulling tighter and tighter by the second, “cum with me, cum with me.”

“Fuck, I love you [y/n],” Killer cried out before capturing your mouth again, thrusting up into you with increasing desperation and rubbing your clit hard. He held back as long as he could, but your pussy fluttering and contracting around him was too much, and the deep moan you let out into his mouth was all the permission he needed as you shook. He replied with his own moans, shuddering as he spilled out inside you, immediately wrapping his arms around you and holding you close as you stilled, both of you panting hard and using the other's shoulder as support. The two of you stayed like that for a long time, his cock softening but kept warm inside you, neither of you willing to break that connection of bodies after a month apart. No words were spoken, because none needed to be said. The way he held you told you everything you needed to know. You were safe, you were held, and everything was going to be okay.

You spent the night wrapped in Killer's arms, neither of you willing to let go of the other, just overly thankful to have each other back. Killer had laid down his kimono to insulate against the rotting floor, pulling his coat over you both as a blanket, the purple fluff on the collar tickling your face as you woke. You almost screamed as you opened your eyes properly and realised Kid was sitting right there on the other side of Killer. Your sudden jolt woke the blonde, immediately putting him in fight mode as he grabbed Kid and raised his fist ready to punch. He let out a heavy breath as he realised it was just Kid, shoving him away with an annoyed groan and laying back down.

“For fucksake Kid,” Killer grumbled, pulling his kimono on to wrap around himself, while you hastily gathered your own clothes and dressed, “what happened to ‘DO NOT LEAVE THIS ROOM’?”

“I got bored,” Kid huffed like an indignant child, “and I thought you'd come back last night. I missed you too, you know.”

“You punched my girlfriend,” Killer replied flatly, “you can spend one fucking night on your own like a big boy, since you wanna go around acting like a big tough guy.”

“Alright, whatever, I'm sorry okay!” Kid yelled.

“I'm not the one you have to apologise to, fa-fa-fa-fa,” Killer responded, looking at you. Kid huffed but followed Killer's line of sight. He met your eyes for a moment before his shyed away, scratching the back of his head awkwardly at his guilt. He looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He grumbled something inaudible under his breath and Killer smacked him over the back of his head.

“Fuck! You ain't gotta hit me!” Kid snapped.

“I could say the same,” you pouted.

“Okay, sorry, jeez,” Kid mumbled, “I was an asshole, I shouldn't have punched you. I'm sorry.”

“You're not forgiven,” you said plainly.

“What!?” Kid roared, “but I fuckin’ apologized! All genuine and shit!”

“Doesn't mean I have to forgive you,” you replied, “it took me months to learn to trust you, you think you can get that back after one fucking apology? I deserve retribution.”

“Fine, whatever,” Kid huffed, “what do you want then?”

You though about it for a moment before whispering something to Killer that Kid couldn't hear. “Yeah?” Killer replied, “you sure?”

“Mmhmm,” you confirmed, a mischievous sparkle in your eye.

Killer leaned to grab your mask, holding it out to you dangling on his index finger. You took it and slipped it on, flipping your bracelet to move the seastone away from your skin and turning your attention to Kid, who shifted nervously.

“Uh… what do you need your powers for?” He asked anxiously, eyes flicking between you and Killer, who's permanent smile looked distinctly more shit-eating as he watched you slink towards Kid.

“Kil, my love,” you purred, eyes on Kid, smile making him more and more unnerved as you crawled over Killer's lap towards him. “Do you remember when we fought that dragon, and you got hurt? The pain meds made you grabby, so what did I do?”

“You paralyzed me,” Killer smirked, watching Kid slowly lean back to avoid your threatening grin until he was flat against the floor, with you straddling his lap. Kid's eyes snapped to Killer at the revelation. “You had complete control over me, I couldn't do anything to touch you.”

“Mmm, I did, didn't I?” You cooed, running a single finger down Kid's bare chest. He swallowed hard as you tilted your head quizzically at him. “Your safe word is still ‘iron’, isn't it?”

“Yeah, but what do you ne-” Kid's sentence was cut short and his eyes went wide as his limbs suddenly all went numb, his metal arm hitting the floor with a heavy clank as he lost control of it. Try as he might, he couldn't do anything to move his arms or legs, only his neck was still working. “The fuck did you do?” he growled, though there was a hint of fear under it.

“Nothing permanent,” you cooed, unbuckling his belts, pulling each from its loops slowly. You felt Kid's dick twitch under you at the action, and felt the nerve signals that you were blocking as his brain tried to instinctively reach out his arms to touch you, to take control and fuck you the way he wanted to in response to your teasing. He groaned as you tugged his pants down, Killer helping to lift Kid's ass to free the fabric. Killer was having his own fun with Kid, flicking his nipples and leaning down to suck and bite on them. “You'll get your limbs back when you can prove you're a good boy,” you teased, taking Kid's hard cock in your hand and pumping it a few times. You ran your thumb over the leaking slit, before leaning down and taking the head in your mouth.

Only the head though, never going any further as you licked and sucked on it. Kid made frustrated growls as he tried to buck up into you, trying to get deeper into your warm, wet mouth, but entirely unable to do so. He was close to cracking, close to begging you to go further, but he was determined to not break. Killer was making it significantly harder for Kid, making bite marks and sucking hickies all over his chest. Killer kissed and nipped his way up Kid's neck, holding Kid's chin to keep him still and keep his neck exposed, leaving deep marks over the pale skin and undoing Kid's resolve as his teeth tugged on his ear lobe with a groan. “Please, please,” Kid whined, “I'll be good, I'll be good, fuck, please fuck me properly.”

“Hear that princess?” Killer smirked at you, “begging already.”

“He wants to cum so bad, maybe I'll let him,” you replied, giving Kid a look that did not make him feel relieved. “Go on then, cum.”

“I- can't just-” Kid began, before a wave of pleasure ran through his body and his cock suddenly spilled out, shooting ropes of cum over his stomach. His mind was reeling trying to figure out what had happened, before he remembered your very first meeting, when you'd made him and Killer cum without even touching them. “Fuck, fuck,” he panted at the sudden, intense orgasm.

“Say thank you,” Killer growled.

“T-thank you,” Kid whimpered as you took his cock in your hand again, now oversensitive from his orgasm. He couldn't usually get it up again instantly like that, but you forced the muscles to contract and encouraged the blood to flow back into it. “No- don't- fuck, give me a few minutes.”

“What's wrong?” You purred, “sensitive? You just a sensitive widdle guy?” You mocked. “Maybe another orgasm will help.”

“No, not ye- fuck, oh fuck,” Kid groaned as you forced him to cum again, his teeth gritted together as his seed dripped over your fingers. Killer took your hand and licked the cum from it, then he leaned down and kissed Kid, making him taste himself on the blonde's tongue. Kid's head chased Killer as he moved away, whining as he let his head fall back in defeat again. You'd already repeated the process of getting him hard again, and Kid was near crying from the overstimulation. Killer's blue eyes searched Kid's face, like he was looking for something.

“Again,” Killer said, making what parts of Kid's body he could feel all shiver. You took the suggestion and Kid groaned as he was forced to cum once again, his spend now thin and lacklustre.

“Please,” Kid whimpered. He didn't even know what he was begging for at this point - for you to stop, or to keep going, as every orgasm made him see white.

“Please?” You laughed, “okay then!” You repeated the process once more, thin liquid expelling from Kid as he finished once more, panting hard and squeezing his eyes shut. He seemed like he was close to calling it quits, but you still had a plan, the one you'd whispered to Killer. You stood over Kid, who looked at you with exhausted, half lidded eyes, still breathing hard as you undressed yourself in a sultry manner for him, and knelt to straddle him. Killer took his place behind you, between Kid's legs, kissing your bare back over the scar of your slave mark and running his hands over your thighs, working his way up them.

“I can't go again,” Kid whimpered, “please don't make me.”

“Mmm, you can have a little rest,” you tutted, “but you're not done yet.” Kid let out a stressed whine that made Killer laugh behind you.

Killer was unfastening his kimono, letting the fabric drape around his legs and fisting himself as he shuffled up behind you. He carded his cock through your wet folds a few times, groaning in your ear at how wet you were as his free hand splayed out over your stomach. You bent all the way over Kid, presenting yourself to Killer, and Kid whined under you as he watched your face contort and heard the satisfied sigh you made as Killer sheathed himself inside you. Your body was rocked back and forth as Killer began to fuck you, not wasting any time in forcing moans from you to tease the captain. Beneath you, Kid's cock was slowly coming back to life on its own as he watched you jostling and moaning above him, and heard the wet squelch of your cunt, your tits rubbing against his chest as you were moved.

“You still sure about this, princess?” Killer asked, slowing his thrusts a little.

“Mmmhmm,” you confirmed through moans, “I wanna.”

“Okay baby,” he replied, kissing the middle of your back before righting himself. He let a line of spit fall from his mouth to drip onto your ass, spreading it with his thumb to your virgin asshole. His thumb ran circles around it, and you whined at the foreign feeling as the digit sunk inside you. “Huh, you're more relaxed than I thought…” he noted as he was able to immediately switch to two fingers.

“I used my fruit,” you huffed through heavy breaths, face pressing against Kid's chest as Killer pumped his fingers in and out of your ass while still slowly fucking your cunt, “I relaxed the muscles.”

“Fun trick,” Killer purred, adding a third finger easily thanks to your devil fruit.

“Ey, what's going on back there?” Kid barked, feeling left out and ignored. He had his suspicions, and it was making him hard again just thinking about it, hoping you were planning what he thought you were planning, even if he was at the end of his teether.

“Killer's gonna fuck my ass,” you cooed at Kid, before biting and sucking on his neck. He let out a whine as you licked up to his ear, where your breath tickled the shell, “are you gonna be a good boy and fuck my cunt?” you purred, “I'll even give you back your limbs if you're very good. So how bout it captain, are you a good boy? Or do I need to keep punishing you?”

Kid immediately folded, there was no way he was missing out on your first double penetration. “I'm a good boy!” he shouted.

“You are, aren't you?” you cooed, “I can feel how hard you are against my belly, all by yourself, what a good boy!”

Killer pulled out of your cunt and used his fingers to transfer some of your arousal to your ass for lubrication, before spitting on his hand and fisting himself to coat his cock. You sat up and ground your cunt against Kid's erection, before tilting your pelvis to catch the tip of it, sinking down on Kid's cock as he groaned, his arm desperate to reach for you. Killer pressed gently against your shoulders to bend you over, pushing you down so your chest was flush with Kid's. You buried your face in Kid's shoulder as Killer lined his cock up with your ass, your visor cold against Kid's skin, before very slowly sliding inside you. Even though you'd relaxed the muscles, he was wary of hurting you since it was your first time. There was no need for him to worry though, your devil fruit made you more than prepared. It couldn't prepare you though for how full you would feel with both holes filled, and you let out a low pitched moan as Killer hit his base. The blonde swore to himself, gripping your hips bruisingly hard as his face pressed against your back.

Kid was whining and squirming under you, trying to will his limbs to work, trying and failing to activate his haki to counteract your fruit, the muscles on his torso all flexing and rippling as he struggled. His cock was buried inside you, but neither you or Killer were moving, purposefully torturing Kid. Your cunt felt tighter with Killer's dick pressing against his through a wall, and all he wanted to do was plant his feet and thrust up into you until you were screaming. “Not yet,” you teased, “you have to be patient, good boys are patient.”

Killer took that as his queue to start moving again, making you squeal and moan at the foreign feeling as he fucked your ass. You'd already been close to cumming before, but now you were dangerously close to the edge. Kid groaned as your cunt contracted around him, he could feel how close you were, you were going to cum on his cock without him even moving and it was driving him insane. Killer had your hips pinned to keep you from moving and giving Kid any satisfaction, but he was so sensitive from the previous orgasms that it didn't take much to build him up again, just the fluttering of your walls was doing it for him, and he was genuinely worried he was going to embarrass himself by unloading inside you before he'd even gotten the chance to thrust. Killer was watching him over your shoulder, and was familiar with the face Kid was making. He fucked you harder with purpose, knowing it would make your pussy clench more around Kid, daring him to cum.

“Fuck, Kil,” you moaned, your nails sinking into Kid's biceps where you were holding on for dear life, “gonna cum.”

“Good girl, princess,” Killer praised, “go on and cum baby.”

You bit down on Kid's neck as your pussy convulsed, and it was his undoing. Kid swore as he came inside you, barely anything to his release with nothing left in his balls to give, but it was enough to have him panting and swearing. You sat up a little and pouted at him. “That was not good boy behaviour,” you warned as you felt him going soft inside you. Kid could barely look at you, let alone respond; he was too spent. “Now I'm going to have to make you hard again, we're not done until Killer is satisfied. And you're not getting your limbs back.”

“No,” Kid whined, barely a whisper, as his cock was forced to become erect again. This time when Killer started moving again, you moved with him, matching his thrusts to ride Kid while Killer continued to fuck you. “Fuck, please,” Kid cried, “I can't, I can't, I'm all done.”

“And yet, I don't hear you using the safe word,” Killer tutted, “you're done when she says you're done.”

You bit back moans as both your holes were fucked, Killer doing a lot of the work for you by guiding your hips, pulling you back and forth to match his pace, fucking you on both his and Kid's cocks. You felt so deliciously full, it was incredible, every sensitive part inside you being pressed against, you couldn't wait to do this with Heat when you freed him. Given the use of your devil fruit though, you were quickly running out of energy. Killer could sense you fading, and bent forward to whisper in your ear, “Just a little longer, my love.” You replied with a tired “mmm” and gave yourself over to Killer's control, letting himself move you like a ragdoll. Kid was whimpering under you, his eyes squeezed shut at the overstimulation.

“Fuck, I'm close,” Killer groaned, “do it now, baby.”

With the last of your energy you once more used your devil fruit, this time forcing all three of you to experience orgasm at once. You'd never tried it on yourself, and it was the most intense release you'd ever had. You vaguely registered the men around you growling and groaning as you saw stars and your body shook, the men shaking either side of you as well as you released Kid's limbs from your control. His hand gripped your thigh hard as his head was thrown back, and Killer all but collapsed against your back, twitching and panting, his hot breath making your skin sticky.

“F-fuck,” he finally let out in a shakey voice, pulling out of you and collapsing on the floor beside Kid. You went limp against the captain, his cock softening inside you, and his arm wrapped around your waist protectively. The three of you laid there for what felt like an age, Killer at eventually curling closer into Kid and pulling his cloak over the three of you like a blanket. At some point you removed your mask to better relax against Kid's wide chest, your cheek pressed against his peck, listening to his heartbeat as it slowly evened out.

“I'm sorry, Yin,” Kid finally broke the silence, “I let you down as your captain, I fucked up. I should have listened to you. I shouldn't have hit you. Please don't leave the crew. You're too important, not as a weapon but as part of our family. You and Dawnie are our heart.”

“Mmm, I forgive you,” you replied with a yawn, touched by the genuine heartfelt apology, “but next time you hit me you can say goodbye to your remaining arm.”

“Fair enough,” Kid huffed a sigh of relief. Killer shuffled out of the cuddle pile, and you moved to follow, but he raised a hand to stop you.

“Rest a little longer,” he said, “I'm just gonna look at the map and figure out a plan for getting the crew and ship back.”

You happily did as he said and slept on Kid's chest, falling asleep to the rumbling sound in it as the two men discussed plans to rescue the others. His boobs made great pillows. When the boys were ready to move, they gently woke you, but just enough for Kid you put you on his back, letting you cuddle up against his fluffy coat to sleep a little longer as they made their way to the Flower Capital, Killer carrying your things for you and leading the way.

[NEXT CHAPTER]

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[ardafanonarch]

Does canon indicate who is older: Elros or Elrond?

Birth Order of Elrond and Elros and Elrond

Good question. My instinct on this was no, canon does not indicate who is older, and indeed further research turned up nothing definitive. (If anyone has evidence to the contrary, please share it!) However, I uncovered a decent hint that Tolkien imagined Elros the elder.

[ETA: Please see this reblog for a revised answer that confirms the Elros theory!]

The fact that they are twins at all is not even in the published Silmarillion or The Lord of the Rings, which introduce them thus:

Bright Eärendil was then lord of the people that dwelt nigh to Sirion’s mouths; and he took to wife Elwing the fair, and she bore to him Elrond and Elros, who are called the Half-elven. The Silmarillion, ‘Of the Voyage of Eärendil and the War of Wrath’ The sons of Eärendil were Elros and Elrond, the Peredhil or Half-elven. The Lord of the Rings, Appendix A

Here, the order in which their names appear does not help us as we get both options.

It’s important to note here that Elros did not even exist from the conception of the mythology of Middle-earth. Elrond son of ‘Eärendel’ does not appear in any of the Lost Tales, but he does show up in the 1926 Sketch of the Mythology, the ‘Earliest’ Silmarillion (one day I’ll make post summarising all these texts, but in the meantime Table 2 at the end of this bio has a lot of them!). Elros does not join him until the next version of the Silmarillion,* the 1930 Quenta Noldorinwa. Here he is added in revisions to the text. In those revisions, his name comes first (‘Elros and Elrond’).

(*When I do not italicise Silmarillion, I am referring to the whole corpus of drafts. Italicised means the published book edited by Christopher Tolkien.)

The same sort of revision is made to Annal 325 of The Later Annals of Beleriand (referred to as AB 2 and written between 1930 and 1937). Christopher Tolkien notes that his father pencilled a note to change the original passage (which only mentions Elrond) to:

The Peringiul, the Half-elven, were born to Elwing wife of Eärendel, while Eärendel was at sea, the twin brethren Elrond and Elros. The History of Middle-earth Vol. 5: The Lost Road, The Later Annals of Beleriand, Commentary on Annal 325.

Important! Christopher then notes, “The order was then inverted to ‘Elros and Elrond’.”

Note that the 1930 Quenta Noldorinwa is the main source for most of the last chapter of the published Silmarillion because Tolkien did not return to a full narrative of this section of the Silmarillion again. However, they are mentioned in the briefly sketched Tale of Years (1951-52), where it is again stated that they were twins and again they appear as ‘Elros and Elrond’.

[Added entry:] 528 [> 532] Elros and Elrond twin sons of Earendil born.* The History of Middle-earth Vol. 11: The War of the Jewels, Tale of Years, Text ‘C’

*[> 532] means this entry was revised to 532, the date you will find in the timeline on Tolkien Gateway (which defaults to the ‘most recent’ revision). Note that The Tale of Years (the published portion of which only covers the 6th century of the First Age) is actually four consecutive drafts: dates are revised and the entries become increasingly detailed, but each draft ends earlier than the last (e.g. Text A goes to FA 600, Text D ends at FA 527). Most of the timelines you find online attempt to consolidate all four drafts — but worth bearing in mind that Tolkien never finalised these dates.

Finally: upon investigating the source text for that one instance, from the published Silmarillion, of Elrond appearing before Elros, I discovered that this was actually an editorial decision. Tolkien himself, as far as I could find, always listed Elros before Elrond.

Now, this is not, as I said, definitive evidence that Elros tumbled out of the womb first. But I’d say it suggests that Elros was the elder, since I can think of no other reason to consistently list them in this order (it’s not alphabetical, for example). And this, indeed, seems to be the fandom’s general consensus.

But, strictly based on canon, you are free to put them in either order. In fact, if you are someone who only takes the published Silmarillion as canon, you don’t even have to make them twins.

[shunin-gumis]

Designs of Happiness - Track A19

L4mps Main Story Translation

Title: Way of the Sauna

Characters: Nagi, Daniel, Netaro

Summary: Nagi heads to the sauna, where he finds Daniel and Netaro already present. Daniel enthusiastically explains the greatness of a sauna to them.

Thank you aca @463ce6, myun @/myuntachis Niri @/Niri_riri and jes @/arcanecrayonn for helping me with proofing!

Location: Hakodate - Hotel Room

*knock on the door*

Momiji: Come in!

Nagi: …Good evening.

Momiji: Good evening! What brings you here this late?

Nagi: Mm… Here. 

Momiji: Oh, you’ve brought the cassette for the weekly report… Thank you for taking the time during the trip to record it! Great work today!

Nagi: You too. I brought these too… 

Momiji: Woah, flowers and… a vase!?

Nagi: I was sure you’d be needing a vase, so I brought one with me.

Momiji: Don’t get me wrong, I’m super grateful and happy for these, but I didn’t think you’d be bringing them on the trip too… 

Momiji: (Now that I think about it, Nagi had a crazy amount of luggage with him… Don’t tell me those were all packed full of flowers?)

Nagi: I brought a lot of flowers with me to counter the Yajirobe effect… Though I’m not sure it’ll be enough. 

Nagi: This trip is… too much happiness for someone like me.

Momiji: (Nagi-kun looks worried. I want him to feel more relaxed, though… Oh, I have an idea!)

Momiji: Nagi-kun, you haven’t taken a bath yet, right?

Nagi: Yeah, I’m going right after this.

Momiji: I know you could just use the bath in your room, but I’d like to suggest you give the public bath a try! It’s a really good experience!

Momiji: It even has a sauna, so I’m sure it’s a great way to refresh!

Nagi: A public bath, and a sauna… 

Momiji: Yeah!

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: I’ve never gone to either of those.

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: But okay, I’ll give it a try. 

~~~

Location: Hakodate - Hotel Sauna

Nagi: …Ah.

Daniel: Well if it ain’t Nagi! C’mon, join us. The sauna here is perfect; the temperature and humidity are just how I like ‘em.

Netaro: Uweh…

Nagi: Netaro’s here too?

Netaro: Daa here enticed me, claiming that the sauna could “clear the mind.”

Daniel: We literally just got here, and you’re even sitting on the lower bench where the temperature’s not that high. How ‘bout you, Nagi? Wanna work up a sweat on the upper bench with me? 

Nagi: Um, I’ll go with the lower one… You’re a fan of saunas, Buchi-san?

Daniel: ‘Course I am! I’ve been to about 300 saunas thanks to all my travel and business trips. I’ve even gone to Finland, the Holy Land of Saunas, too! You’re looking right at a hot-blooded sauna enthusiast!

Nagi: Woah.

Netaro: Are you certain this is supposed to make me feel refreshed…?

Nagi: The Chief recommended the sauna to me so… I figured I’d give it a shot. 

Daniel: Got it. So that makes you a beginner, too. Alright, time to put my back into this!

Daniel: I’ll teach you how to master the Iwabuchi Way of the Sauna; In other words, how to completely revitalize yourself!*

Nagi: Oh, okay. I’m looking forward to it, master.

Netaro: Master~~

Daniel: Oh, first things first: Don’t get in a sauna right after eating your fill or getting sloshed. Ain’t good manners when they gotta haul your butt-naked ass outta here.

Nagi: He’s actually serious about this… 

Daniel: One rep includes sweating it out in the sauna, then getting into a cold bath, and finally cooling off either indoors or outdoors. They say doing three reps improves your sleeping quality or somethin’.

Daniel: 7 to 8 minutes in the sauna should be more than enough for a beginner. 

Netaro: Uuugh~ There is still 5 minutes and 52 seconds, 51 seconds… 

Nagi: What about the cold bath? 

Daniel: Depends on the person, but I guess 1 minute should do? The water is bloody cold, so I wouldn’t recommend staying in there even a second longer.

Daniel: The revitalization comes after that. When you sit down somewhere and take in the breeze… That’s when the happy hormones are released, and you’re in a state of bliss. 

Netaro: I’ve read of this before! Despite the fact that the body is in a completely relaxed state, the brain achieves a state of awakening! It gets your brain juices flowing and is supposed to feel amazing! Isn’t that so? 

Nagi: That’s kinda scary. 

Daniel: Well, there’s no need to get so deep about it. If you ask me, you can revitalize right here in the sauna— 

Netaro: It’s toooo hoooot… I’m in desperate need of some water… 

Nagi: Honestly, me too. 

Daniel: I mean, people use their heads too much on the daily, y’know? That’s why it’s important to hit your limit under extreme conditions once in a while so you can just let your mind go blank.

Daniel: Just think of it as switchin’ off your brain for a sec. 

*steam intensifies*

Nagi: Hoo… 

Netaro: 3 minutes and 59 seconds… 58 seconds… 

Daniel: When you think about it, all your worries are connected either to the past or the future. But you don’t exist in either of those times, so there’s nothin’ you can do about it. It just leads to an infinite loop of anxiety. 

Daniel: Nothin’s better than holing away in the sauna to break yourself outta that loop.

Daniel: Your brain’s at full capacity just thinkin’ about how bloody hot it is, so in a way, your mind’s getting a break, letting everything else go… Now that’s what I call a detox.

*steam intensifies further*

Nagi: Oi… how much longer? A minute…? 

Netaro: *dry wheezing* Wah… tah… 

Daniel: This is just like meditation, or being mindful and all that…. Hey, are you even listening? 

Netaro: AUUUGHH IT’S. TOO. HOT!! I can’t take it anymore! There’s no revitalization happening at all!

*Netaro runs out*

Nagi: His face was bright red.

Daniel: Hahaha! Well, he shouldn’t have tried so hard. You’re doin’ pretty well though Nagi, you’ve got the makings of a true sauna enthusiast.

Nagi: I should’ve probably gotten one of those sauna hats… 

Daniel: Just let me know when you decide to get one, I’ll recommend the best one for ya.

Nagi: Okay, thank you. 

Nagi: …… 

Daniel: …… 

Nagi: (The conversation has fallen off… Should I try to start it up again?)

Daniel: …… 

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: (So I say, but I don’t even know what to talk about… What’s something we can connect on…)

Daniel: Imagine if that Ryui fella is stayin’ in this hotel too.

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: Buchi-san, I need to ask… 

Daniel: Hm? 

Nagi: Why didn’t you catch Ryui back at Hachiman-zaka? 

Nagi: (I’m pretty sure he had a better chance at catching him than I did…)

Daniel: Right… How do I put this… 

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: (It’s hot… It’s way too hot… Please answer a little faster…) 

Daniel: Well, he’s an adult too. I’m sure he’ll come home when he feels like it. 

Daniel: That’s all it is. 

Nagi: (He’ll come home when he wants to? Would it be so simple for someone who decided to leave in the first place?)

Nagi: Are you sure? If they’d change their minds so easily, they wouldn’t bother leaving in the first place, right… 

Nagi: Maybe they had some unavoidable reason to do what they did— 

Nagi: (Ryui, and that person, too…)

Nagi: (I’m sure they had their— Oh…ough…)

Daniel: Ooh, I was thinkin’ this earlier at the observatory too, but you’re actually more of a positive thinker than I thought you were, huh.

Nagi: HOT…! I’m at my limit…! 

Daniel: Haha! Another one bites the dust!

~~~

Location: Hakodate - Hotel Lounge

Nagi: Phew… 

Nagi: (The temperature was way too high… I don’t think I have what it takes to be the best sauna enthusiast there ever was…) 

Nagi: (But, it’s true that I do feel like my mind’s all cleared up. Maybe this is what he was referring to as feeling revitalized.)

Nagi: Woah… They even have all-you-can-eat popsicles… 

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: (Strawberry, grape, orange, pineapple, mango, dainagon azuki, condensed milk… There’s a lot to choose from.)

Nagi: (I want something refreshing, so I can cross out the dainagon azuki and the condensed milk flavors… They’d probably be too sweet.)

Nagi: (Strawberry and grape are quite refreshing, but when it comes to popsicles, their sourness leaves something to be desired…)

Nagi: (Mango… The tropical flavor doesn’t really fit the setting. Condensed milk is perfect for Hokkaido, but I’ve already crossed it off the list.)

Nagi: (Then all that’s left are the flavors beloved by everyone, orange and pineapple. They have the perfect amount of sourness too. Though, pineapple is also a tropical flavor.)

Nagi: (Right then. I’ll go with the safest choice that has no room for mistake, orange.)

Nagi: Is it really for free…? I hope this doesn’t affect my luck unfavorably… 

*opening the wrapper*

Nagi: ���Mm, tasty.

Nagi: (Guess I picked the wrong one. This is pineapple.)

Nagi: I think it turned out for the best though.

Nagi: (Pineapple’s pretty good too. But it’s strange… I wasn’t hit by bad luck this time.)

Nagi: …Wait. 

*checking his phone*

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: (I guess my theory that the misfortune’s rebound won’t happen if the air pressure is stable is spot on after all.)

Nagi: …Huh?

Nagi: (No, this is HAMA’s atmospheric pressure. What about Hakodate—)

Nagi: (A sudden updraft, and even a ‘bomb’ mark… This looks really bad for me…)

??: ○※А◆×▽×◎……。

Nagi: Huh?

Nagi: (I hear some strange sounds from the reclining chair further ahead… Is there someone there…?)

??: Φ×▲□▽η……。

Nagi: (...The voice sounds really weak.)

Nagi: …… 

Nagi: Excuse me. Are you… not feeling well?

??: …… 

Netaro: Gii?

Nagi: Oh, Netaro?

Nagi: Are you okay? It sounded like you were moaning. If you’re not feeling well, you should talk to the Chief— 

*a ringing sound*

Nagi: …!?

Nagi: (What… is this? It’s so abnormally chilling…)

Nagi: (Why can’t I move? And I feel… really scared. Like some sort of unfathomable fear is welling up within me…)

Netaro: Hm… So be it. I was inclined to hold back for a while longer, but now that it’s come to this—

Netaro: You’ll have to suffice. 

Notes:

“Totonoi” means to experience a feeling of euphoria and a clear head by repeating several sets of sauna, water bath, and outdoor air bath. 

Sauna hats are used to prevent one’s head from heating excessively, and are traditionally made of felt.

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Masterlist

[rafesslxt]

𝟏𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 - 𝐮𝐩𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲‘𝐬 🪻🪷🖋️

this is a list to all my planned and posted Story's from the 1000 Follower special I posted in May

If your story isn't on this list it doesn't mean I'm not writing it. It means I just don't have a name or explicit idea for it yet.

current nr. of drafts: 52 ⎥smut: 🌶 fluff: ☁️ funny: ☀️

updated: 28 / July / 2024

Posted Story's:

miss you⎥rafe cameron⎥☁️⎥D4 「 ✦ you and rafe have a secret relationship but rafe starts to miss you, not being able to spend much time with you without people seeing you together✦ 」

Blushy⎥mattheo riddle⎥☁️⎥B8 「 ✦ mattheo teases Hufflepuff gf in front of friends because he knows she gets shy and 'blushy'✦ 」

Blushin'⎥theodore nott⎥☁️⎥B2 + B5 「 ✦ when y/n wants to go on a walk with Theo, it starts raining and her shirt gets see through ✦ 」

Late night snack⎥theodore nott⎥☁️🌶⎥A3 「 ✦ you thought you would be alone when sneaking into the school kitchen late at night - you were, until someone joined you. ✦ 」

Favorite affair⎥sam monroe⎥☁️🌶⎥A7 + A10 + D3 「 ✦ you and Sam have a secret affair while your bf is his enemy. when you call him to pick you up in that slutty outfit of yours, he shows you what you‘ve missed while partying.. ✦ 」

Whimpering mess ⎥mattheo riddle⎥🌶⎥A2 + A4 + A14 「 ✦ you have a little fun with tied up mattheo ✦ 」

Friends help each other ⎥anakin skywalker⎥🌶⎥A8 + A14 「 ✦ after just another bad date you seek comfort from your best friend and roommate Anakin which turns into a steamy session ✦ 」

Planned Story's

Haunted⎥mattheo riddle⎥🌶⎥A 11 + C 4 + C 12 「 ✦ when y/n and her friends visit a haunted house, she gets seperated from her friends and finds herself in a room with a masken man. Ghost fa – mattheo?✦ 」

Grumpy Headcanon⎥tom riddle⎥☁️⎥everything from the grumpy list

Temptation⎥mattheo riddle⎥🌶⎥A3 + A6 + A8 「 ✦ a spicy bet between mattheo and his girlfriend ✦ 」

On vacation⎥mattheo riddle x reader x rafe cameron⎥🌶⎥A5

Combinations I got as a request:

Mattheo Riddle:

A7 x threesome w/ theodore

A10

A3 + A6 + A8 + C3

A5 x threesome w/ rafe cameron

A7 + B8

A11 + C4 + C12

A9 + C6 + D2

Theodore Nott:

A7 threesome w/ mattheo riddle

A6

A4 + B10 sub Theo

C5 + E10

C7 + D3

Draco Malfoy:

A8 + A14 + C8

Lorenzo Berkshire:

E10 + E11

B3 + C8

Tom Riddle:

A10 + D3

Rafe Cameron:

A5 threesome w/ mattheo riddle

A9 + A13

A4 + A13

A4 + A13

Stephen Glass:

A2 + B10

A2

A12 + D5

Anakin Skywalker:

C4 + C9 + D1 + D5

Sam Monroe:

A10

A4 sub Sam

Scott Barringer:

A1 + B7 + B10 + D1 + D5

Slytherin Boy‘s:

Gryffindor Reader x Slytherin A1 + A3 + C3 + D1 + D4

[eri-pl]

Silm Advent calendar 17: Generations

Today, instead of fiction, you'll have a loredump (terrible as the foundations of the Earth… ok maybe not).

Because, no matter, how much I would love a young Estel complaining on learning history, I think this would be more helpful. When writing Númenor stuff (and other, but this one is for Númenor) I often encountered a problem of "but how old would this character be at this point, and would they even be alive? would they have family?), so, I made a comprehensive info.

Also, instead of a drawing, charts:

All the (proper) kings and queens of Númenor, their ages at various events in their life + linear trends for the early part (stable trend, only slightly falling) and the late part (predictably crashing down).

Now for the lore:

Numenoran age. They aged in a somewhat Elvish way. Up to the age of 20 they seem to age normally (physically at least; mentally they age faster and are more capable than normal Men), then their biological aging slows down about 5 times, so (after 20): biological age = (age/5 + 16). 

It gets fuzzy near the end, because the early Númenoreans lived to 400 and more in good health, then either died or aged rapidly. Also, for the line of Elros and particularly good and noble kings the biological age would probably be lower, knowing Tolkien, and for the particularly fallen ones the aging would be faster. But it’s a good estimate. 

I’ll be putting estimated biological age (rounded to a nearest full number) in [] brackets.

Data to help estimate the missing birth dates: The men usually married at age of 45 [25] up to 95 [35] or even 120 [40] if they were important or talented. The women usually married at age 40 [24] - 45 [25] up to 95 [35]. In the line of Elros it was even later: for men up to 150 [46] or later, and for women often 95 [35]. The women were fertile up to the age of about 125 or 140, the text is fuzzy about it. Also, they had long spans between kids, usually 10-15 years, never below 5. So says the "Fall of Númenor".

Kings:

I'm skipping the Tar- / Ar- for sake of readability; we all know they were kings anyway.

1. Elros (ruling name: Minyatur) was born in FA 532, but more convenient for the math will be to call it SA -58. He became king in 32 (all further dates are SA), aged 90 [34]. He died in 442, aged 500 [116].

2. Vardamir was born in 61, when Elros was 119 [40]. He inherited the throne in 442, aged 381 [92] and yielded it to his son immediately. He died in 471, aged 410 [98].

Here begins the early Númenorean model (described in terms of average age + standard deviation): a prince is born during his grandfather's reign, has his first child when he’s about 162±18 [48 ±4], becomes king at age of about 230±29 [62±6], yields the throne at age about 388±20 [94±4], dies at age of about 403±6 [97±1], saying farewell to his children and grandchildren. There are some exceptions, but it generally works like that.

3. Amandil was born in 192, when Vardamir was 131 [42], and Elros was 250 [66] and ruled. He became the king in 442, aged 250 [66] (Elendil was 92 [34]), yielded in 590, aged 398 [96] and died in 603, aged 411 [98]. He was 250 [66] when Elros died and 279 [72] when Vardamir died.

4. Elendil was born in 350, when Amandil was 158 [48], Vardamir was 289 [74] and Elros was 408 [98] and ruled. He became king in 590, aged 240 [64] (his children were 69 [30], 58 [28] and 47 [25]), and yielded in 740, aged 390 [94]. He was 92 [34] when Elros died, 121 [40] when Vardamir died, and 253 when Amandil died. He died in 751, aged 401 [96].

Silmarien was born in 521, when Elendil was 171 [50], Amandil was 329 [82] and ruled. Elros was notably dead and therefore not able to voice an opinion about the concept of ruling queens. She was 82 [32] when Amandil died and 230 [62] when Elendil died.

Isilmë was born in 532, when Elendil was 182 [52], Amandil was 340 [84] and ruled. Silmarien was 11 [which is normal 11]. 

5. Meneldur was born in 543 (again 11 year gap), when Elendil was 193, Amandil was 340 [84] and ruled. He became king in 740 aged 197 [55] (Aldarion was 40 [24]), yielded in 883 aged 340 [84], and died in 942 aged 399 [96]. He was 104 [37] when Amandil died and 252 [66] when Elendil died.

The Númenoreans started sailing to ME in 600, when Meneldur was 57 [27], Elendil 250 [66] and ruled, Amandil was 408 [98] (and we need to assume only a 3 year error to not have him alive at this point, and the date 600 seems like an approximation).

6. Aldarion was blond (yay, blond kings, it strengthens my blond Pharazôn hypothesis!). He was born in 700 when Meneldur was 167 [49], Elendil was 360 [88] and ruled. He became king in 883 when he was 183 [53] (Ancalimë was only 10), yielded in 1075 when he was 375 [91] and died in 1098 aged 398 [96]. He was 51 [26] when Elendil died and 242 [64] when Meneldur died.

7. Ancalimë was born in 873, when Aldarion was 173 [51], Meneldur was 230 [62] and ruled. She married in 1000, aged 127 [41] (Aldarion was 300 [76]). She became queen in 1075, aged 202 [56] (Anárion was 72 [30]), yielded in 1280, aged 407 [97], and died in 1285, aged 412 [98]. She was 225 [61] when Aldarion died and 69 [30] when Meneldur died.

8. Anárion was born in 1003, 3 years after the marriage of his parents, when Ancalimë was 130 [42], Aldarion was 303 [77] and ruled. He became king in 1280, aged 277 [71] (Surion was 106 [37]), and yielded in 1394, aged 391 [94]. He died in 1404, aged 401 [96]. He was 282 [72] when Ancalimë died and 95 [35] when Aldarion died. 

9. Súrion was born in 1174, when Anárion was 171 [50], Ancalimë was 301 [76] and ruled. (Súrion was preceded by two older sisters, who did not inherit because of family drama). He became king in 1394 (Telperien was 74 [31]), aged 220 [60], yielded in 1556, aged 382 [92], died in 1574, aged 400 [96]. He was 230 [62] when Anárion died and 111 [38] when Ancalimë died 

10. Telperien was born in 1320, when Súrion was 146 [45], Anárion was 317 [79] and ruled. She became queen in 1556, aged 236 [63] (Minastir was 82 [32]), didn't marry, and died in 1731 aged 411 [98]. She was 84 [33] when Anárion died and 254 [67] when Súrion died.

The war of Sauron and the Elves happened in 1693, and Sauron regained the Nine (and the Seven) in 1699, so since this date we can have him giving rings to people in our fics. At this time, Telperien is the queen and she’s 379 [92], she dies 32 years after. Still, Númenor doesn’t have full-on colonies yet, so I doubt any Númenoreans get Rings so early. They are also still very decent people at this point. 

11. Minastir was born in 1474, Telperien was his aunt, and was 154 [47] at the time, Súrion (his grandfather) was 300 [76] and ruled. It's confusing but it seems that he fought Sauron not as the king yet. He fought the war in 1700, aged 226 [61], Telperien was 380 [92], Ciryatan was 66 [29]. He became king in 1731, aged 257 [67] (Ciryatan was 93 [35]), yielded in 1869, aged 395 [95] and died in 1873 aged 399 [96]. He was 100 [36] when Súrion died and 257 [61] when Telperien died (obv).

12. Ciryatan was born in 1634, when Minastir was 160 [48] and Telperien was 314 [79] and ruled. He became king in 1869, aged 235 [63], yielded in 2029, aged 395 [95], and died in 2035, aged 401 [96]. He began exploiting the people of ME.

Here begins the late model (no averages, because they go down in a linear manner, so have a avg-stdev and avg+stdev instead): a prince is born during his grandfather's reign, has his first child at age of about 75 [31] (late period) to 145 [45] (early period), becomes king at age of about 240 [64] (early period) to 153 [46] (late period), does not yield the throne and dies at age of about 218 [59] (late period) to 373 [91] (early period), cursing his too short life. Maybe for the worse kings in the later period the biological ages should be higher than resulting from the calculations.

13. Atanamir (who called him “the Great”? I wouldn’t.) was born in 1800, when Ciryatan was 166 [49] and Minastir was 326 [81] and ruled. He became king in 2029, aged 229 [62], did not yield the sceptre (!) and died in 2221, aged 421 [100], because he clung to his life very hard. He was 235 [63] when Ciryatan died and 73 [31] when Minastir died.

14. Ancalimon was born in 1986, when Atanamir was 186 [53], and Ciryatan was 352 [86] and ruled. He became king in 2221, aged 235 [63], and died in  2386, aged 400 [96]. He was 49 [26] when Ciryatan died.

Umbar was fortified in 2280, during Ancalimon’s reign, when he was 294 [75] and Telemmaitë was 144 [45] and Vanimeldë was a 3yo child. Pelagir was built (by the Faithful) in 2350, still during his reign, when he was 364 [89], Telemmaitë was 214 [59] and Vanimeldë was 73 [31].

15. Telemmaitë was born in 2136, when Ancalimon was 150 [46] and Atanamir was 336 [83] and ruled. He became king in 2386, aged 250 [66], and died in 2526, aged 390 [94]. He was 85 [33] when Atanamir died.

16. Vanimeldë was born in 2277, when Telemmaitë was 141 [44], and Ancalimon was 291 [74] and ruled. She became queen in 2526, aged 249 [66], she died in 2637, aged 360 [88]. She was 109 [38] when Ancalimon died.

When she died, her second cousin and husband, Herculamo (born in 2286), usurped the throne at the age of 240 [64] and de facto ruled as Tar-Anducal. He died in 2657, aged 371 [90].

17. Alcarin was born in 2406 when his parents were 129 [42] and 120 [40], Telemmaitë was 270 [70] and ruled. He theoretically became king in 2637 aged 231 [62], actually became king in 2657, aged 251 [66], died in 2737, aged 331 [82]. He was 120 [40] when Telemmaitë died.

18. Calmacil (Adunaic name: Belzagar) was born in 2516, when Alcarin was 110 [38], Vanimeldë was 239 [64], and Telemmaitë was 380 [92] and ruled. He became king in 2737, aged 221 [60], died in 2825, aged 309 [78]. He was 121 [40] when Vanimeldë died and 10 when Telemmaitë died.

19. Ardamir (Adunaic name: Abattârik) was born in 2618, when Calmacil was 102 [36], Alcarin was 212 [58], and Vanimeldë was 341 [84] and ruled. He became king in 2825, aged 207 [58], died in 2899, aged 281 [72]. He was 119 [40] when Alcarin died, 39 [24] when Herculamo died, and 19 when Vanimeldë died.

20. Adûnakhor (Quenya name: Herunúmen) was born in 2709, when Ardamir was 91 [34], Calmacil was 193 [55], and Alcarin was 303 [77] and ruled. He became king in 2899, aged 190 [54], died in 2962, aged 253 [67]. He was 116 [39] when Calmacil died and 28 [22] when Alcarin died.

21. Zimrathôn (Quenya name: Hostamir) was born in 2798, when Adûnakhor was 89 [34], Ardamir was 180 [52], and Calmacil was 282 [72] and ruled. He became king in 2962, aged 164 [49] and died in 3033, aged 235 [63]. He was 101 [36] when Ardamir died and 27 [21] when Calmacil died.

22. Sakalthôr (Quenya name: Falassion) was born in 2876, when Zimrthôn was 78 [32], Adûnakhor was 167 [49] and Ardamir was 258 [68] and ruled. He became king in 3033, aged 157 [47], died in 3102, aged 226 [61]. He was 86 [33] when Adûnakhor died, and 23 [21] when Ardamir died.

23. Gimilzôr (Quenya name: Telemnar) was born in 2960, when Sakalthôr was 84 [32], Zimrathôn was 162 [48] and Adûnakhor was 251 [66] and at the very end of his reign. He became king in 3102, aged 142 [44], and died in 3175, aged 215 [59], very unhappy that he could not have his younger son succeed him. He was 73 [31] when Zimrathôn died, and only 2 when Adûnakhor died.

24. Palantir (Adunaic name: Inziladûn) was born in 3035, when Gimilzôr was 75 [31], Sakalthôr was 159 [48] and ruled. He joined the golden line and the silver line ancestry, being the 19th descendant of Meneldur and the 17th descendant of Silmarien. He became king in 3175, aged 140 [44], still did not yield the throne to his daughter (which I’m not sure the people would accept anyway), died in 3255, aged 220 [60]. He was 73 [31] when Sakalthôr died.

25. Miriel (Adunaic name: Zimraphel) was born in 3117, when Palantir was 82 [33], Gimilzôr was 157 [47] and ruled, became queen in theory in 3255, aged 138 [44]. She died tragically in 3319 in the Fall, aged 202 [56]. She was 58 [28] when Gimilzôr died.

Pharazôn was a year younger than Miriel: born in 3118, became de facto king in 3255, aged 137 [43], died (? I’ve seen a version of: “was frozen in time under mountains”) in 3319, aged 201 [56]. 

Other important people: Amandil was the 18th lord of Andúnië, which puts him in the same generation from the early kings as Sakalthôr. But also (assuming the cousins were not removed cousins), Pharazôn is in the same generation from the lords of Andúnië as Amandil, even if age-wise he’s close to Elendil. 

Elendil was a year younger than Pharazôn and two younger than Miriel: born in 3119, during the reign of Gimilzôr. He was 56 [27] when Palantir became king and 136 [43] when Pharazôn took the sceptre.

In 3262 Sauron was brought to Númenor (Pharazôn, Elendil and Miriel were 144ish [45]). In about 3265 he became Pharazôn’s main advisor and the temple was built. In 3310 (when Pharazôn was 192 [54] and starting to feel really old so the number in the brackets should probably be bigger) the fleet building began.

In 3316 Amandil sailed to ask the Valar for mercy. Unfortunately, we don’t know his age, but let’s estimate: he married at… 45 minimum, but knowing Tolkien it would be more like 95. Elendil was born a year to, say, 10 after that. So 3119 - (46 to 105) = Amandil born in 3004 to 3073 = 243 [65] to 308 [78] years old when he sailed. So he was old, but not necessarily very old. Also, when Sauron began his reign of terror, he would be 192 [54] to 261 [68]. When Palantir became king, he would be 102 [36] to 171 [50]. Also, he was definitely born before Gimilzôr became the king and was 29 [22] to 98 [36] at that time.

Post-Númenor

Elendil was born in 3119, became the High King of Men in 3320, and died in 3441, aged 322 [80]. He outlived Anárion by a year.

Isildur was born in 3209, when Elendil was 90 [34], became the co-king of Gondor in 3320, aged 111 [38], and the High King in 3441, aged 232 [62]. He died tragically in 2 TA, aged 234 [63]. He was 232 [62] when Elendil died and when he took the Ring from Sauron’s finger.

Anárion was born in 3219, when Elendil was 100 [36], co-ruled from 3320, died in 3440, aged 221 [60]. Meneldil was born in 3318, as the last child born in Númenor, when Anárion was 99 [36]. He became king in TA 2, aged 125 [41] and died in TA 158, aged 281 [72]. The ages gradually get more normal, and I won’t analyze the further kings anyway. Maybe next year. I really want to have a primer for "how old was Aragorn when…." :)

During the Fall, Elendil was 202, Isildur was 110 and Anárion was 100. A year later, in 3320 Gondor and Arnor were founded. Elendil was 203 [57], Isildur was 111 [38], and Anárion was 101 [36].

[vintagebiker43]

52 anni fa usciva "The dark side of the moon" dei Pink Floyd

Ieri, alla Casa Bianca, un presidente col fondo tinta e il suo vice con il rimmel, hanno messo in scena "The dark side of the earth"

[francesca-70]

Una forza e una generosità straordinarie sono il dono di ogni madre, e sono la base di quell’amore incondizionato che solo una madre sa offrire e che tutti dovremmo avere la possibilità di assaporare. Un vecchio proverbio napoletano recita: «Chi tene ‘a mamma, nun chiagne» (chi ha la mamma, non piange), ed è vero. Le madri sono scudo pronto a difenderci da ogni dolore, a volte persino esagerando.

La verità è che l’amore può tutto, che un sorriso, uno sguardo sincero, una carezza sono sorsi di eternità, che nel dolore la fiducia nel domani può soltanto diventare più grande.

Una terribile battaglia da combattere “un lungo addio”.. “un addio rubato..un addio mancato.. un addio finto”.

Perché tra di noi, mamma, non può esserci addio.

La mia persona più amata si dissolve lentamente in piccoli pezzi, ed è impossibile andare a ripescare quale sia stata l’ultima conversazione. Struggente ed emozionante, «il segreto della vita».

Tutto ruota intorno ai ricordi e alla memoria, al loro disperdersi e riemergere continuo e imprevedibile, trasportando tutti in una sorta di infinito presente. Una storia di cui non conosco né l’inizio né la fine, ma di cui ho vissuto e vivo intensamente ogni giorno con dolore, paura, rabbia, fatica, solitudine, curiosità, ostinazione. Facile perdersi in questo guazzabuglio di emozioni. Non so dire con precisione quando quel processo abbia avuto inizio. Sono stata incapace di cogliere i primi segnali quotidiani. E mi sono trovata direttamente a decidere quanti scatoloni avrebbero occupato i ricordi della mia infanzia e della mia adolescenza, riempiendoli ad una velocità molto superiore a quella delle mie emozioni, che mi soffocavano la gola. “Questo è il momento più difficile”, mi racconto ma intanto sto tatuando il mio cuore. In maniera indelebile.

Figlia unica di un genitore non autosufficiente, come la definisce la USL.

Il muro che ho dovuto attraversare per trovare il mio binario è fatto di rifiuto, disoriento.

Dovevo combattere con i fantasmi del mio passato, guardare negli occhi una persone che non mi riconosceva piu e specchiarmi nelle sue paure. Una micidiale danza di emozioni contrastanti: l’eterno presente senza ieri e senza domani il passato remoto improvvisamente prende vita catapultandoti in una dimensione surreale e spiazzante. Mi trito il cuore cercando di cogliere un’espressione diversa sul volto, un lampo negli occhi, un gesto, ma lei ė in un'altra dimensione e questo fa male. Come tenere tutto dentro.

Ecco come vedo, assisto e vivo questo lento perdersi. Un lento svanire. Spegnersi poco a poco, spettatore di questa surreale esibizione della vita. Dove il regista è il tempo e la trama è composta dalla memoria, dai ricordi, che a tratti riemergono da quel luogo fuori dallo spazio e dal tempo. Sono sempre lì. Sono sempre loro. Solo nascosti in qualche angolino. Basta aspettare il momento giusto... ed eccoli.

Un viaggio nei legami affettivi più forti, nelle nostre paure e nei nostri bisogni di amare, alla ricerca della felicità anche nelle situazioni apparentemente più avverse.

A 52 anni proprio non me lo aspettavo. Di figli ne avevo già uno, ormai grande, proiettato verso un futuro luminoso insieme alla famiglia che si era creato.

Ed io, invece, ecco che mi ritrovo, inaspettatamente, a dover fare i conti con la dolorosa esperienza di diventare “madre di mia madre", nel suo lento declino fisico e mentale.

Eppure il suo sguardo, di tanto in tanto, torna per un fugace momento (tanto fugace che, a volte mi chiedo se sia veramente successo) a fissarsi su di me, limpido e cosciente. Come se davvero fosse tornata a vederMi...tornata ad essere mia madre. Quella che si preoccupava per me. E si prendeva cura di me, sempre con un sorriso sulle labbra. Non so bene come spiegarmi. C’è da non trovare le parole quando hai a che fare con una persona che se ne sta andando lontano, sempre più, suo malgrado. C’è da augurarselo di non trovarle, mettere in fila i pensieri richiederebbe di voler vedere quello che si ha davanti e io non voglio.

“Mamma, sono io, sono Francesca”. Te lo ricordo, te lo ripeto, non perderlo il mio nome. Non lasciarmi andare. Nei tuoi pensieri troncati, assillanti, confusi non sei persa, perché non si può affogare in una pozzanghera, e non sei rinchiusa finché fai di tutto per stare a galla. Attaccati a me, aggrappati all'amo, salda più che puoi, con le mani e con lo sguardo, che ti tiro verso di me, non smettere di respirare.

Quanto fa male trasformarsi. “Sono io, mamma, sono Francesca”. “Lo so,” mi rispondi. Sei arrabbiata. In te c’è ancora forza...non molli, non cedi, ti ribelli. Mi prenderesti a schiaffi. Ti vedo, seduta sul divano. Ti stringi, ti rimpicciolisci, scompari, eppure io ti trovo sempre. So dove cercarti. So dove trovarmi. Anche se potremmo essere il gioco dei contrari io e te. Tu, che sei tanto diversa da me eppure ti assomiglio. Ho paura..e nello stesso tempo ho Il bisogno di non far vedere agli altri che sto male.

Ho tanti sensi di colpa: sono una mamma, come te. Quanta malinconia c’è, quanto mi ricordo di te..ricordi che si diluiscono. All’inizio mi concentro sul come fare per catturarti e quando ti ho catturata penso a come trattenerti; quando sto per perderti cerco di invogliarti a restare con un nuovo stratagemma; quando ti ho persa iniziano i propositi per fare meglio la volta dopo. Ricomincio, riprovo, non mollo mai. I tentativi si susseguono senza sosta. Non c’è fine, non c’è pausa. Ci pensi anche quando non lo fai. Ci deve essere da qualche parte una linea di confine che, se oltrepassata, è un cambio perenne di stato. E ci pensi mentre fai la spesa o sei in fila dal dottore, mentre parli al telefono con un’amica e perfino mentre ti fai la doccia. Quando sei sotto il getto dell’acqua tiepida piangi per il fallimento: non importa quanto poco ti consoli l’esserci per accudirla. L’acqua si miscela alle lacrime nel gorgo dello scarico e dovrebbe andare giù, lasciarti, non tornare, giusto? No, non va giù. La lacrima stagna, imputridisce. Si deposita. È l’acqua delle pozzanghere. Non conosce colore, non conosce fine. Non riflette tutto il cielo, non è nemmeno una finestra. Non bisogna scoraggiarsi.. ma mi mancano le forze o forse il coraggio. A volte ricordo i tempi piu felici che sono anche i più taglienti.“Eccomi! Ciao, come stai oggi? Hai visto che è arrivata l'estate???....

Guardami,

"sono Francesca, mamma

Mamma❤”.

[the-scungles-of-crungles]

U88DS6GH687CG3RYH8QYRUJEWHRWRNJFEWYUINQYHC7FUHWNEUKRQFGH48H3TV3K4YUV TV34QFF D8 FF E1 1D 8C 45 78 69 66 00 00 4D 4D 00 2A 00 00 00 08 00 07 01 12 00 03 00 00 00 01 00 01 00 00 01 1A 00 05 00 00 00 01 00 00 00 62 01 1B 00 05 00 00 00 01 00 00 00 6A 01 28 00 03 00 00 00 01 00 02 00 00 01 31 00 02 00 00 00 1E 00 00 00 72 01 32 00 02 00 00 00 14 00 00 00 90 87 69 00 04 00 00 00 01 00 00 00 A4 00 00 00 D0 00 0A FC 80 00 00 27 10 00 0A FC 80 00 00 27 10 41 64 6F 62 65 20 50 68 6F 74 6F 73 68 6F 70 20 43 53 36 20 28 57 69 6E 64 6F 77 73 29 00 32 30 31 34 3A 30 32 3A 31 31 20 31 33 3A 34 35 3A 35 36 00 00 03 A0 01 00 03 00 00 00 01 00 01 00 00 A0 02 00 04 00 00 00 01 00 00 03 CA A0 03 00 04 00 00 00 01 00 00 03 20 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 06 01 03 00 03 00 00 00 01 00 06 00 00 01 1A 00 05 00 00 00 01 00 00 01 1E 01 1B 00 05 00 00 00 01 00 00 01 26 01 28 00 03 00 00 00 01 00 02 00 00 02 01 00 04 00 00 00 01 00 00 01 2E 02 02 00 04 00 00 00 01 00 00 1C 56 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 48 00 00 00 01 00 00 00 48 00 00 00 01 FF D8 FF ED 00 0C 41 64 6F 62 65 5F 43 4D 00 01 FF EE 00 0E 41 64 6F 62 65 00 64 80 00 00 00 01 FF DB 00 84 00 0C 08 08 08 09 08 0C 09 09 0C 11 0B 0A 0B 11 15 0F 0C 0C 0F 15 18 13 13 15 13 13 18 11 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 11 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 01 0D 0B 0B 0D 0E 0D 10 0E 0E 10 14 0E 0E 0E 14 14 0E 0E 0E 0E 14 11 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 11 11 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 11 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C 0C FF C0 00 11 08 00 84 00 A0 03 01 22 00 02 11 01 03 11 01 FF DD 00 04 00 0A FF C4 01 3F 00 00 01 05 01 01 01 01 01 01 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 03 00 01 02 04 05 06 07 08 09 0A 0B 01 00 01 05 01 01 01 01 01 01 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 01 00 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 0A 0B 10 00 01 04 01 03 02 04 02 05 07 06 08 05 03 0C 33 01 00 02 11 03 04 21 12 31 05 41 51 61 13 22 71 81 32 06 14 91 A1 B1 42 23 24 15 52 C1 62 33 34 72 82 D1 43 07 25 92 53 F0 E1 F1 63 73 35 16 A2 B2 83 26 44 93 54 64 45 C2 A3 74 36 17 D2 55 E2 65 F2 B3 84 C3 D3 75 E3 F3 46 27 94 A4 85 B4 95 C4 D4 E4 F4 A5 B5 C5 D5 E5 F5 56 66 76 86 96 A6 B6 C6 D6 E6 F6 37 47 57 67 77 87 97 A7 B7 C7 D7 E7 F7 11 00 02 02 01 02 04 04 03 04 05 06 07 07 06 05 35 01 00 02 11 03 21 31 12 04 41 51 61 71 22 13 05 32 81 91 14 A1 B1 42 23 C1 52 D1 F0 33 24 62 E1 72 82 92 43 53 15 63 73 34 F1 25 06 16 A2 B2 83 07 26 35 C2 D2 44 93 54 A3 17 64 45 55 36 74 65 E2 F2 B3 84 C3 D3 75 E3 F3 46 94 A4 85 B4 95 C4 D4 E4 F4 A5 B5 C5 D5 E5 F5 56 66 76 86 96 A6 B6 C6 D6 E6 F6 27 37 47 57 67 77 87 97 A7 B7 C7 FF DA 00 0C 03 01 00 02 11 03 11 00 3F 00 F5 42 50 DF 63 58 D2 E7 18 03 92 52 7B C0 12 4C 01 C9 59 97 E4 DD 7D CD A3 14 7E 98 8D C0 B8 4B 69 61 D1 B7 DA DF CF BE DF FB 4F 8F FF 00 7C 49 49 72 BA 95 78 E4 7D A3 22 8C 26 BF 56 0C 87 B5 AF 70 F1 DA E7 B1 42 AE AD 8F 73 83 68 CE C3 BD CE D0 35 B6 36 4F F9 B6 27 C5 E9 1D 2F 1E C7 17 31 B6 E5 D9 AD B7 59 16 5C E3 FB D6 3C 8D DF D8 FE 69 9F E0 D1 6F E9 DD 22 FA C8 BE 8A 9E CE 0E F6 02 07 C7 73 52 52 7A EF 71 3B 2C 69 AE CE 76 9E 08 F1 63 BF 39 4C BA 56 53 B0 DF D3 AA DD 8D BE EC 01 EE 34 02 5E FA 87 FA 6C 27 1D CE DA DF FB 8D FF 00 6C 7F A3 56 71 F2 DB 7B 03 83 9A FD CD 0E 6B DB AB 5E C3 F4 2D AF F9 2E 49 4E 67 D7 5B 36 7D 53 EA EE F1 C5 7B 7F CE DB 5F FD F9 78 42 F6 EF AF CE 3F F3 3B AB 1F F8 16 8F BE DA 97 8A E3 63 DB 95 93 56 35 0D 2F BA F7 8A EB 68 E4 97 1D A9 29 1A 60 41 E0 CA F4 1C 3F F1 73 F6 37 F4 7B 73 CF AD 76 56 7D 74 DD 8E 35 67 A6 2B BB 26 D1 BB F3 BD B8 AB BB 7F D4 8F AB 56 DA DB 6D E9 D4 17 B7 8D AD DA DE 36 FF 00 36 D8 62 4A 7C 11 25 EB FF 00 5B 7E A2 74 86 74 5C EC 8C 0C 4A B1 EF A2 97 5A C3 50 89 35 8F 57 FE A5 AB CB 2D C0 78 C1 AB 31 A3 DB 6E ED 7B 68 E2 CF FB EA

Ok. Someone tell me what this is. It seems to be some sort of file thing but. Well. Idk. God knows what it is

[cyborgzoi]

41, 42, 43, 44, forty fa-ah-ah-ah-ah-iv, 46, 47, 48, forty na-ah-ah-ah-ah-ine, 51, 52, 53, 54, fifty fa-ah-ah-ah-ah-ive, 56, 57, 58, fifty na-ah-ah-ah-ah-ine, 61, 62, 63, 64, sixty FIVE

[raffaeleitlodeo]

Visto che molti giornali stanno riprendendo la campagna contro l'istruzione pubblica e per una scuola "meritocratica", bombardandoci quotidianamente con improbabili storie di fantomatici geni laureatisi a 15 anni solo grazie alla forza di volontà, vorrei riportare un breve aneddoto personale. Alcuni mesi fa sono stato accettato per un dottorato (PhD) in Relazioni Internazionali dall'Università di Cambridge. Il processo di selezione, più che meritocratico, mostra come le università più conosciute ("d'eccellenza", direbbero quei giornali) siano sempre più luoghi inaccessibili per chi non ha un privilegio di classe. Per potersi candidare sono necessari una serie di pre-requisiti ufficiali, come le certificazione linguistiche, e ufficiosi, (per esempio, è quasi impossibile essere presi senza aver fatto esperienze di studio all'estero). Tutte cose estremamente dispendiose a cui solo una minoranza può avere accesso. Uno studente che va in Erasmus, per esempio, riceve circa 300€ mensili come borsa di studio, una cifra con la quale in una grande città europea si può a malapena coprire il vitto. Tutto il resto è a spese proprie. Per non parlare di esperienze lavorative utili al curriculum ma sottopagate o non pagate affatto (l'ONU, per nominarne uno, offre tirocinii di 6 mesi a New York senza prevedere alcuna remunerazione). Chi viene da una condizione abbastanza agiata e si può permettere alcune di queste cose, con un po' di fortuna e un po' di bravura, può riuscire a venire accettato in un'università conosciuta e rinomata. Le disuguaglianze più rilevanti e i maggiori privilegi, però, non si mostrano durante il processo di selezione dei candidati, ma dentro l'università stessa. Molte delle "università d'eccellenza", infatti, non forniscono stipendio ai loro dottorandi/ricercatori e anzi chiedono loro un'ingentissima retta. Di fatto, i dottorandi (che nella pratica sono lavoratori dell'università) devono pagare per poter lavorare gratis in cambio della nomea dell'università. È vero che esistono alcune borse di studio, ma queste sono generalmente poche, spesso esterne all'università, e non di rado portano a una commisitione moralmente discutibile coi più variegati gruppi privati. Il loro criterio di assegnazione è infine generalmente opaco e spesso finiscono paradossalmente per essere vinte dagli studenti più benestanti e altolocati che meno ne necessiterebbero. Per ritornare alla mia esperienza personale, io non ho vinto borse di studio. L'Università di Cambridge ha stimato che per affrontare il dottorato, tra retta e costi di vita, avrei dovuto pagare di tasca mia 52 000€ l'anno, ossia più di 200 000€ per i quattro anni di studio/lavoro. Poiché non dispongo di tale cifra (e anche avendola, non la regalerei a un'università con un patrimonio di 20 miliardi di € che semplicemente non vuole pagare i suoi dottorandi) ho rifiutato l'offerta di dottorato. In futuro forse farò altre domande di dottorato, anche se in università con una maggiore attenzione alle condizioni dei suoi studenti/lavoratori. Tuttavia, questa esperienza pratica mi ha confermato alcune cose: che l'unico modello universitario veramente di eccellenza è quello pubblico, gratuito e accessibile a tutti, anche e soprattutto ai più svantaggiati. Che nel modello della fantomatica "università del merito", sempre più privatizzata e a pagamento, la norma non sarebbero gli scintillanti adolescenti geniali rallentati dalla burocrazia dell'istruzione pubblica (una minoranza statisticamente inesistente), bensì i ricchi ereditieri ed emiri che si possono permettere un diploma dal costo di una Maserati per fare bella figura in alta società. E che, in quel modello, cultura e istruzione non sarebbero degli straordinari fattori di emancipazione sociale e collettiva, quali dovrebbero essere, bensì puri e semplici strumenti di disuguaglianza, esclusione e oppressione. Alessandro Maffei, Facebook