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lila-lou · 1 month ago

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✨His second exception - Pt. 21/?✨

Summary: The moment Ben found out you were pregnant was probably the happiest moment of his life. However, happiness proved fleeting. Now, he is faced with the aftermath of his shattered dreams. Of what is left of you, and what is left of him.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Language, fluff

Word Count: 5218

A/N: This is the sequel to “His only exeption” - and Part 21 of "His second exception".

English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙

Your breath hitched in your throat as Ben’s lips captured yours, the kiss igniting a spark that chased away the stress and bad mood that had clung to you all morning. The world around you melted away, and all that existed was the two of you and the heat radiating from his body.

But as the kiss deepened, a fleeting thought crossed your mind, and you pulled back slightly to look around the empty alley. “Ben, what if someone walks in?”, you asked, your voice a mixture of excitement and apprehension. The alley was secluded, but the bustling city was just a stone’s throw away, and the thought of being caught sent a thrill mixed with nervousness through you.

Ben’s smirk widened as he glanced over his shoulder, ensuring the coast was clear. “Who’s going to walk in here?”, he replied, his voice low and playful. “It’s just us”.

With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he shifted his hands to grab your ass cheeks, his grip surprisingly rough, sending a jolt of electricity through you. You gasped at the unexpectedness of his touch, both shocked and turned on by his boldness.

“Ben!”, you squeaked, unable to suppress the laughter that bubbled up, but your body responded instinctively, leaning into him as his hands held you firmly in place. “Someone might see us!”.

He leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, “Let them see. I want everyone to know you’re mine”. His voice was a seductive growl, filled with raw desire that sent another shiver down your spine.

Your heart raced at his words. The thrill of possibly being caught only added to the heady rush of the moment.

He turned you around, pressing you gently but firmly against the cool surface. Your breath caught as his hands trailed up your legs, lifting the hem of your dress and coat with a deliberate slowness that teased the skin beneath.

His movements were purposeful. The cool air hit your exposed skin, making you shiver, but the heat from Ben’s body pressed against your back was all-consuming. His breath was hot on your neck, his lips brushing lightly against your ear as he whispered, “Hold still”.

The mixture of command and desire in his voice made your heart race even faster. You gripped the bricks, your fingers brushing against the rough texture as Ben’s hands moved higher, his body shielding you from any prying eyes that might wander down the secluded alley.

Ben’s hands found the edge of your underwear, and with a quick, deft movement, he pulled them down.

As Ben’s fingers worked quickly to pull down your underwear, his other hand was busy at his own waist, deftly unbuckling the belt of his suit. The sound of the buckle and the zip being lowered was almost drowned out by the rapid beating of your heart and the shallow breaths that escaped from between your parted lips.

The fabric of his pants rustled as he pushed them down just enough to free himself, his movements hurried but precise.

As he positioned himself behind you, the anticipation built to an almost unbearable pitch.

Ben’s hands returned to your hips, his grip firm and reassuring. He leaned in close, his chest against your back, his breath hot on your neck. “Ready?”, he murmured.

You nodded, unable to form words, your focus entirely on the sensation of him pressing against you, the head of his erection sliding against your sensitized flesh. With one hand steadying you against the wall and the other guiding himself, Ben slowly entered you from behind.

The sensation of being filled so completely, coupled with the risk and thrill of your public concealment, amplified every sensation. Ben’s movements started slow, gauging your response, his breaths heavy against your ear. Gradually, his thrusts gained momentum, becoming more urgent as the heat between you built.

His grip on your hips tightened, pulling you back to meet his thrusts, each movement driving deeper. The sound of your combined breaths and the subtle noises of your bodies moving together filled the alley, creating a rhythm that pushed you both toward the edge.

Ben’s free hand wandered up to tangle in your hair, gently pulling your head back as he increased his pace, his other hand firmly on your hip to hold you in place.

“Every part of you is more sensitive, isn’t it?”, he whispered, his breath hot against your skin. “I can feel how much wetter you are, how much tighter…”.

As he spoke, his thrusts grew more purposeful, each one eliciting small, involuntary moans from you. “You’re carrying our baby”, Ben continued, his voice a mix of awe and arousal. “Makes me want you even more—if that’s even fucking possible”.

Ben’s movements became more deliberate, his thrusts deepening in a rhythm that suggested he was close to his edge. His hand on your hip gripped you firmly, guiding you back against him with each thrust, his control and focus entirely centered on your shared pleasure.

“Tell me you like this”, he demanded, almost pleadingly, as he sought your confirmation, your participation in this moment that was about so much more than just physical release.

You leaned back against him, your breath catching in your throat as you approached your own climax, fueled by his words, his desire, and the overwhelming love that you felt pulsing through every touch.

As you struggled to find your voice, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, Ben sensed your hesitation. With a low growl, he adjusted his stance slightly, allowing him to thrust even deeper and with more force. The change in angle and the increased depth elicited a sharp gasp from you, his movements stirring the building pleasure to new heights.

“Come on, tell me”, Ben urged, his voice rough with desire and edged with a tenderness that was as compelling as it was commanding. His breaths were heavy, hot against your ear, his body taut as he moved within you, each thrust designed to draw out the response he craved.

The roughness of his movements, combined with the urgency in his voice, pushed you closer to the brink. The sensation was overwhelming, the blend of physical intensity and emotional depth turning your response into something primal.

Finally, unable to hold back any longer, you cried out, your voice mingling with the sounds of the city night. “Yes! Yes, I love it, Ben!”, Your words tumbled out in a breathless rush, your body tightening around him as the climax you’d been teetering on the edge of burst forth.

Hearing your affirmation, Ben let out a deep, satisfied groan, his own control beginning to fray at the edges. His thrusts grew more erratic, more desperate, as he approached his own peak. He held you tightly against him, his body shuddering as he finally reached his climax, his release as intense and profound as the emotion that vibrated through every fiber of his being.

Ben’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you close against his chest as you both caught your breath.

Ben waited a bit, giving you time to come down from the high before he reluctantly began to pull out, the movement feeling both intimate and teasing. You felt a shiver run through you as he slowly removed himself, a small whimper escaping your lips as the sensation lingered.

“Hold on a sec”, he murmured, reaching for your panties, which had fallen to your ankles, and gently tugging them back up. You couldn’t help but giggle a little at how absurdly sweet it felt, even in this context.

He adjusted your dress and coat, smoothing the fabric down over your body with careful precision. “There we go, all tidy again”, he said with a playful smirk, the teasing tone returning to his voice as he tugged himself back into place. You watched, still feeling a mix of butterflies in your stomach from both the thrill of the moment and the affection you felt for him.

“Just look at you, all prim and proper again”, Ben chuckled, the mischievous glint in his eyes unmistakable. “You’re going to give me a complex if you keep looking this good”.

You rolled your eyes playfully, unable to suppress your smile. “And what complex would that be? The ‘I can’t resist my beautiful girlfriend’ complex?”.

Ben stepped back, finally giving you a bit of space, but not before capturing your hand in his. “Exactly that. Now, let’s get out of here before someone actually does walk in on us”.

Later that day, you arrived home feeling the exhaustion settling in after such an intense afternoon. The thrill of your earlier encounter with Ben still lingered, but now the aches and pains that had been gnawing at you all day began to catch up. Your back, in particular, was throbbing, and every step you took seemed to remind you just how far along you were in the pregnancy.

Ben had been unusually attentive ever since you left the café, sensing your discomfort before you even said anything. As soon as you walked through the door, he disappeared into the bathroom, leaving you to deal with your shoes—something that was proving to be more difficult with your growing belly.

You sighed in frustration, struggling to bend over and reach the laces. The pain in your back flared up, making you wince. Just as you were about to give up, Ben reappeared, leaning against the doorway with a knowing smirk. “Having some trouble there?”, he teased, though there was a softness in his eyes that told you he was already planning to help.

You gave him a half-hearted glare. “If you’re just going to stand there and watch, you might as well come over and do something about it”.

Ben chuckled and moved toward you, dropping down to one knee with surprising ease. He gently took hold of your ankle, lifting your foot slightly as he began to untie your shoes for you. “Alright, princess. Let’s get these off before you hurt yourself trying to play contortionist”.

As he slipped off the first shoe and moved to the second, you couldn’t help but smile down at him. “What would I do without you?”.

He glanced up, that familiar cocky grin tugging at his lips. “You’d survive, but it wouldn’t be nearly as fun… I ran you a bath. Figured it might help with the back pain”.

You sighed softly, the warmth of Ben’s gesture already easing some of the tension that had been building in your body. “Thanks”, you mumbled, feeling a mix of gratitude and exhaustion, but as Ben kissed up your ankle and thigh, you couldn’t help but chuckle, a flush creeping up your cheeks.

He had one of your feet still slightly lifted in his hands, his lips brushing against your skin in a slow, deliberate way that sent a shiver up your spine. “Ben”, you said, laughing softly, “I thought you were supposed to be helping me relax, not making me blush”.

Ben glanced up at you with a teasing smirk, clearly enjoying himself. “Who says I can’t do both?”. His voice was low, a playful challenge in his tone. “I’m just making sure I don’t miss a spot”.

You shook your head, still chuckling, but the warmth of his touch and the intimacy of the moment were undeniable. Even as he teased, there was something deeply comforting about his presence—the way he could be both the man who frustrated you to no end and the one who knew exactly how to take care of you when it mattered most.

He lowered your foot gently, his hands sliding up to your hips as he helped you stand. “Come on”, he murmured, “let’s get you into that bath before I make you forget about it entirely”.

With his help, you eased out of your clothes, your body already aching for the relief the hot water would bring. Ben’s hands stayed on your hips, his touch reassuring as he guided you toward the tub.

As you settled into the warm water, the heat instantly soothing some of the aches in your body, you let out a soft sigh of relief. The tension in your back began to ease as the bathwater worked its magic, but you couldn’t help but notice the way Ben’s gaze remained fixed on you—specifically, on your belly and your growing, fuller breasts that stood just above the water’s surface.

His jaw clenched slightly, his usual playful smirk replaced by a more intense expression, a mixture of admiration and something deeper—something almost primal. His eyes traced the curves of your body, the way your pregnancy had transformed you, and you could feel the weight of his gaze. It wasn’t just desire, though that was certainly there; it was something more profound, a sense of awe and possessiveness that seemed to grow with every passing day.

“You’re staring”, you said softly, your lips curling into a teasing smile as you splashed a little water in his direction.

Ben didn’t break his gaze. “Can you blame me?", he murmured, his voice low and thick with emotion. His hands tightened slightly where they rested on the edge of the tub, as if he was resisting the urge to reach out and touch you again. “Look at you”.

You flushed under the intensity of his words, feeling the heat of the water mingling with the warmth of his attention. “You’ve seen me like this before”, you pointed out, though your voice was quieter now, touched by the weight of the moment.

“Not like this”, Ben countered, shaking his head slightly, his eyes never leaving you.

You bit your lip, the heat rising to your cheeks more as Ben’s gaze remained unwavering, his intensity palpable. The way he looked at you, as if you were the most precious thing in the world, made your heart flutter. His admiration, mixed with an almost primal protectiveness, filled the space between you.

Ben crouched down beside the tub, one of his hands reaching out, his fingers brushing gently over your belly, the touch feather-light but grounding. His large hand, rough and strong, looked almost delicate against the curve of your stomach. You could feel the warmth of him, his presence enveloping you even though you were submerged in the soothing water.

He didn’t speak at first, just let his thumb trace slow circles on your skin, as if feeling the life growing inside you connected him to something he couldn’t quite put into words. His eyes softened, the tension in his jaw easing as his fingers explored the curve of your bump with care.

“Sometimes I still can’t believe it”, Ben finally whispered, his voice gruff but gentle, as though he was talking more to himself than to you. “You’re carrying a part of me… of us”.

His words hit you in a way you didn’t expect, the vulnerability in his tone cracking through the tough exterior he usually wore like armor. You reached out, your fingers trailing through his hair, encouraging him as he leaned closer. “I know”, you whispered back, your voice trembling slightly from the emotion of it all. “It’s a lot, isn’t it?”.

Ben nodded, his eyes still glued to your belly. “I didn’t think I could want something this much… or be this scared of messing it up”. His admission was quiet, but it hung in the air between you, heavy with meaning.

You gently tugged on Ben’s head, guiding him closer until your lips brushed against his in a soft, reassuring kiss. The warmth of his breath mingled with yours, and for a moment, the world outside the small bathroom disappeared. His tension melted under your touch, and you could feel the weight of his worry lift, even if only slightly.

Pulling back just enough to speak, your lips still grazing his, you whispered, “You could never mess this up, Ben”.

Ben sighed softly, the sound carrying both relief and lingering uncertainty as he stood up, his hand gently leaving your belly. He lingered for a moment, his gaze soft as he looked down at you, still lost in thought but more at ease. His fingers brushed over your cheek briefly before he took a step back, standing tall once again.

“You need anything else?”, he asked, his voice low and tender as he glanced around the bathroom, making sure everything was in place for you. His eyes scanned the space, from the bath oils to the towels neatly folded on the counter, but his attention quickly returned to you.

You smiled, touched by his constant care and attentiveness. "I think I'm good". You reached out, running your hand through the warm water before resting it on your belly, feeling a sense of calmness you hadn’t felt earlier in the day.

Ben nodded, though you could tell he still felt like there was something more he could do. "Alright", he muttered softly, a hint of hesitation in his voice. “Just call me if you need anything, okay?”.

You chuckled gently, your voice soft as you teased, “I will. Don’t worry. Go relax for a bit. I’ll be fine”.

Ben gave you a reluctant smile before bending down and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, his hand lingering on your shoulder for just a moment longer. “I’ll be in the living room”, he said, his voice a little rough, but full of love.

As he left the bathroom, you leaned back in the tub, the warmth of the water and the moment of peace finally settling in. You smiled to yourself, thinking of the man who, despite himself, always made sure you had everything you needed.

About half an hour later, as you were sinking deeper into the warmth of the bath, the door creaked open, and Ben stepped in again. He carried something silky and delicate in his hands, setting it down on the bathroom counter with a slight smirk before stepping back to the door.

You gave him a curious glance, but he didn’t say anything—just a quick nod in your direction before leaving the room again. After soaking for a little longer, you finally decided to get out, your muscles now more relaxed. As you dried off, you noticed the silky fabric he had left for you and, with a raised eyebrow, picked it up. It was a nightgown—silky, soft, and barely covering anything.

As you slipped it on, you couldn’t help but be surprised by how perfectly it fit. The gown clung to your curves in just the right places, its soft material falling just short of being modest. The cut emphasized your fuller breasts, and though it barely skimmed your thighs, it felt incredibly luxurious against your skin.

You stood in front of the mirror, smoothing the fabric over your belly, the gown leaving little to the imagination. With a bemused smile, you realized that you hadn’t bought this, and it definitely wasn’t something you would have picked out while pregnant. Ben must have bought it. But when? And how did he know your size so perfectly?

You stepped out of the bathroom, finding Ben sitting on the edge of the bed now, flipping through his phone, clearly waiting for you.

“Ben”, you said, a teasing smile on your lips. “Where did this come from?”. You gestured to the nightgown, your eyebrows raised in question.

He looked up from his phone, his eyes immediately taking in the sight of you, and that familiar smirk returned. “You like it?”, he asked, his voice carrying a hint of playful satisfaction.

You crossed your arms, amused but curious. “When did you get this? And how do you know my size so well?”.

Ben stood up, walking over to you slowly, his hands slipping into his pockets as he shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “I have my ways”, he said with a grin, clearly enjoying your reaction.

You narrowed your eyes playfully. “You know, for someone who pretends to be all tough, you seem to pay very close attention to details”.

Ben stepped closer, one hand reaching out to toy with the strap of the nightgown as it rested on your shoulder. “I know what I like”, he murmured, his voice low. “And I know what looks good on you”.

You shook your head, laughing softly. “I still don’t know when you had time to do this”.

Ben leaned in, brushing a soft kiss against your cheek before whispering, “You’ll just have to trust me”.

You rolled your eyes, but the smile on your face betrayed your amusement. “Well, you did good”, you admitted, smoothing the gown over your belly again.

Ben’s eyes followed your movements, and there was that intense gaze again, filled with both desire and admiration. “Damn right I did”, he said, his voice a little huskier now.

With not much more hesitation, Ben's hands found their way to your waist, and in one swift but controlled motion, he lifted you off your feet. The next thing you knew, you were being tossed onto the bed, though with more gentleness than usual. You landed softly, the plush mattress cradling your body as you let out a small chuckle, your breath catching slightly.

As you looked up at him, your heart skipped a beat. Ben stood at the foot of the bed, his gaze dark and intense as it wandered over your body. The way the silk nightgown clung to your curves had clearly sparked something in him, his eyes devouring every inch of you like you were the only thing in the world that mattered. “Oh no”, you mumbled with a playful grin, your amusement barely hiding the anticipation building inside you.

His hands flexed at his sides, as if restraining himself, before he crawled onto the bed, his body hovering over yours. “You have no idea how hard it’s been, waiting for you to come out of that bathroom”, he growled, his voice low and rough with desire.

The weight of him, the heat radiating off his body, and that possessive look in his eyes made your pulse quicken. You bit your lip, half in challenge, half in surrender. “I think I have a pretty good idea”, you teased, your voice breathy but bold.

Ben’s smirk deepened as he lowered himself onto his elbows, his body pressing against yours in a way that made the room feel even smaller, hotter. He leaned down, brushing his lips against your neck, leaving a trail of soft, heated kisses that sent a shiver through your spine.

“You shouldn’t tease me”, he murmured between kisses, his breath warm on your skin. “Not when you look like this”.

Your hands instinctively slid up his back, feeling the ripple of his muscles beneath your fingers as he worked his way down your body. “And what if I want to?”, you whispered back, your voice daring but laced with affection.

Ben groaned softly, his lips now hovering just above yours. “Then I’m going to have to remind you who’s in charge here”.

With that, his lips crashed into yours, a mixture of raw passion and tenderness, claiming you completely. His hands roamed over your body, exploring the smooth silk and the warm skin beneath, as if savoring every moment.

You were his, and in that moment, there was no denying that you loved every second of it.

Both of you were still catching your breath, your bodies tangled together, heat radiating between you. The room felt charged with the intensity of your connection, but there was a softness to it now, the tension and desire settling into a more comfortable intimacy. You lay on top of Ben, your skin pressing against his, still wearing that revealing little nightgown that had done its job a little too well. The fabric clung to your body, teasingly covering only the bare essentials, and the warmth of his hands traced slow circles on your back.

You chuckled breathlessly, glancing down at him with a teasing smile. “You’re really into this whole pregnancy thing, huh?”, you teased, your voice light but playful. You could feel the flush of heat still lingering in your cheeks, a mix of exhaustion and affection as you took in the sight of him beneath you—naked, slightly sweaty, and completely at ease.

Ben smirked, the usual cocky glint in his eyes softened by the satisfaction of the moment. His hands slid down to rest on your hips, holding you gently but firmly. “You’re carrying my kid, and you look… well, you look damn good doing it”, he murmured, his voice still rough from exertion.

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t hide the smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “I never thought being pregnant would make you even more insatiable”, you teased, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his lips. “But I’m not complaining”.

Ben chuckled, his hands tightening slightly on your hips as he pulled you a little closer, enjoying the weight of you on top of him.

His hands remained on your hips for a few more moments, gently kneading your skin in that familiar, comforting way. You felt a sense of peace, your eyes drifting closed as you basked in the warmth and intimacy of the moment. Ben pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, a gesture filled with quiet affection.

You let out a contented sigh, fully relaxed, not noticing as Ben reached for his phone on the bedside table. You were too wrapped up in the gentle rhythm of his breathing and the afterglow of the time you’d just shared together. Ben, however, had a glint of mischief in his eye as he began scrolling through a few hotel options for Brazil.

It was the same area where the two of you had taken a vacation a year ago—a time that was still vivid in both of your memories. That trip had marked the first time you and Ben truly connected on a deeper level, both emotionally and physically. It was where he had taken your virginity, and now, as he looked at the luxury hotel options in that same area, he felt a surge of nostalgia. He couldn’t help but think about recreating those moments with you, but this time, with the knowledge that soon the two of you wouldn´t be alone anymore.

He flicked through different hotels, comparing views and amenities, searching for the perfect spot. He hadn’t told you yet, but he was planning a surprise trip—a sort of “babymoon” before everything changed with the arrival of the baby. He smirked to himself as he found the one you he was actually looking for.

Ben’s fingers moved quickly over his phone screen as he finalized the booking, the small grin on his face betraying his excitement for the surprise he was planning. He glanced down at you again, your body still pressed against his, completely relaxed, your breath soft and even.

“Hey”, he murmured quietly, his voice cutting through the stillness. “You asleep or what?”.

You stirred slightly, shifting in his arms but not fully waking. “Hmm? No, just… resting”, you mumbled, your voice soft and lazy. “Why?”.

Ben chuckled, his hand moving to gently stroke your back. “No reason”, he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Just checking if you’re still with me”.

You opened your eyes just a fraction, catching a glimpse of that mischievous grin on his face. “You’re up to something”, you accused softly, though your voice held no bite, just the faintest hint of curiosity.

Ben raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the moment. “Me? Up to something? Never”.

You sat up slightly, blinking and squeezing your eyes as if trying to shake off the lingering haze of relaxation. You looked at Ben, your eyebrows raised in playful suspicion. “You’re lying to your pregnant girlfriend?”, you teased, your voice still soft from the comfort of the moment but with a clear edge of curiosity.

Ben smirked, not missing a beat. He reached out, placing a gentle hand on your lower back, guiding you back down to rest against him. “Lying? Nah. Just… withholding certain truths”, he said with that signature cocky grin of his. “Big difference”.

You narrowed your eyes at him, though a smile tugged at the corners of your lips. “Withholding? Oh, so now we’re playing word games?”.

“I wouldn’t call it word games, sweetheart. Just a man making sure his woman doesn’t stress her pretty little head with too much information”. His tone was laced with that cocky, slightly misogynistic humor you’d come to know so well—though the warmth in his eyes and the affectionate grip he had on you told you it was more loving than serious.

You playfully smacked his chest, raising an eyebrow at him. “Oh, so now I’m too delicate to handle the truth?”.

Ben chuckled, his hand gently trailing up your spine before resting on your waist. “Something like that”, he murmured, leaning in to brush a kiss against your temple. “Just trying to take care of you, you know? You’re carrying my kid, after all. Gotta make sure you’re comfortable and happy”.

You rolled your eyes playfully, though you couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across your face. Ben knew how to get under your skin, but he also knew how to make you laugh, even when you didn’t want to admit it.

As you settled back against him, Ben glanced down at his phone, checking the time. His smirk returned, and he raised an eyebrow as he looked over at you. “Don’t you need to pee?”, he teased, clearly enjoying himself.

You groaned dramatically, though you couldn’t deny that the urge had been there, growing stronger every half hour for the past few days. “Ugh, don’t remind me”, you muttered, playfully pushing yourself off him. “This baby is determined to make sure I never get through an hour without a bathroom break”.

Ben chuckled, watching as you slowly sat up. “Well, it’s been about half an hour”, he said with mock seriousness. “Thought I’d give you the reminder before you started squirming again”.

You shot him a mock glare, but the truth was, he was right. “Yeah, well, you try growing a human… or… whatever he is and see how much fun that is”.

Ben smirked, leaning back against the pillows, clearly satisfied with himself. “I’ll leave that part to you, babe. I’m just here to enjoy the view”.

Shaking your head, you got to your feet, already feeling the familiar pressure in your bladder. “You’re impossible”, you muttered, making your way toward the bathroom.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think. 🥰

Part 22

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2kverrr · 5 months ago

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STEPH GINGRICH - That Smile is Poison

LIFE IS STRANGE || Steph Gingrich x Reader

Summary: You and Steph have been apart for years after leaving Blackwell, and a return is due. (5218 Words)

Another day of reminiscing for one Steph Gingrich, clearing up the mess customers and herself had made throughout the bright day of New Year's Eve.

Mikey's a plane ticket away that she simply couldn't afford nor bring herself to consider the possibility. Chloe's gone, Rachel's gone - Which she still couldn't accept, even after being years. You've gone off the fucking radar ever since leaving Blackwell; to put it in a candid and straightforward style, she's ignoring what her life used to be. She's got new friends - Great friends. She loves her job, though it comes with some very prominent negatives.

She's stuck in a cycle of nostalgia and longing for the past, unable to move forward or fully let go of those who have left her behind. The weight of their absence hangs heavy on her heart, a constant reminder of what once was and what could have been. Steph knows she needs to break free from this pattern, to find a way to live in the present and embrace the future without being held back by the ghosts of her past. But it's easier said than done, and as she eyes up the champagne bottle resting teasingly on the low wooden side table outside her studio, she can't help but feel like she's expecting something from Haven Springs, a piece of something she's still unconsciously searching for.

Was it the attention from the roaring crowds whilst rocking it with her best friend?

Could it be being so far away from her family? So far away from the people who knew how to cure her isolation.

Maybe as much as Blackhell fit it's nickname (given by Blackwell's finest, Chloe Price), there could be a slither of a chance that the school meant something to her. School hadn't come easy for Steph, bullies, only a handful of friends, teachers who had taught her for three years and not even knowing her name. What could it be?

It was the people, she knew this all along but refused to believe it. Blackwell in her mind was a living hell, she couldn't comprehend that through all this torture, which people like to call high school, there was something positive after all.

An odd group, but surprisingly pleasant.Herself and Mikey: The two geeks who spent most of their time playing pretend. Chloe: the 0-fuck-given badass who stormed her way through any problem she faced. Of course, there was Rachel: Blackwell's superstar, famous by the students and admirable by the teachers, it was an honour to Steph for her to stand within 10 feet of their bench. And you: the single most lovable person Steph had ever met. You never failed to make her laugh or smile, even when faced with demons of Blackwell, such as Victoria Chase or her minions, you'd beam your pearly whites and charm anyone and everyone into sharing the same smile.

You don't exactly remember how you met Steph, you'd pretty much spoken to everyone at Blackwell at least once. You only seem to remember being as close as ever with her.

Steph remembers, she's good at taking notice of the little things, it's one of the things you liked about her.

- - - - - - - - - - 11/04/2008

'Fuckkk. Where is Mikey? I look like such a dork on my own.'

Steph sits on her and Mikey's signature bench awaiting her friend's arrival, DnD equipment already laid out amongst the graffitied wooden table as students walk by and spare an intrigued glance that screams judgment to the ginger girl.

She taps her foot impatiently, scanning the courtyard for any sign of Mikey. Distracting her from her impatient surveying, Elamon's character sheet flies along with a gust of wind, off the table and flurrying away from the girl. As if it were fate, you walked past and stuck out your foot to stop the paper after noticing the girl's brief worry. You pick up the paper, give it a quick scan,

"Oh! Is this that- um, what's it called?" You conflict with yourself as you hand the paper over.

Steph returns quietly, expecting the worst of you, "It's an RPG game."

She's seen you around before, that she's sure of. You were the exchange student who hung out with Rachel, which seemed obvious, you're the opposite of what Steph is, you know how to hold yourself, socially and physically, and you're deemed attractive through social status and appearance, clearly worthy enough to be Rachel's friend. She jogs her memory, briefly seeing you converse with Victoria but soon doubts herself immediately. How could somebody so kind tolerate being in the same room as the Ice Queen?

"Cool, how d'you play?" You question, your interest anything but faux.

Steph looks down at her fiddling thumbs, debating on letting you in slightly, but she falters. "It's-um- really complicated, and long- really long." She looks up with an apologetic face, "Sorry."

She was cold and quite distant but you didn't give up, "How about you give me a game? That's only if you want." You suggest, with and shy but hopeful smile on your face, Steph soon realised that from this moment your smile would be a pain in her ass. "I'm a quick learner Stephanie."

You knew her name.

She couldn't fathom what was happening at that moment, usually, people walk past and silently giggle with their friends or shoot a snare without knowing a single thing about her, but you didn't, you had this aura that imaged your care for people, it stood out from anybody else. It gave her no other option besides to accept your offer despite the risk of becoming a blushing mess.

After that first game, you and Steph quickly became inseparable. You spent hours talking about your favourite books, movies, and music. You shared inside jokes and made plans for future adventures. It was like you had known each other forever.

- - - - - - - - - -

And ever since that day, Steph considered you a friend. But deep down, Steph knew that her feelings for you went beyond friendship. Every time you smiled at her, every time you laughed at her corny jokes, her heart skipped a beat. You couldn't deny the growing attraction she felt towards you. She kept her feelings hidden, burying them deep down hoping that one day you'd magically return all feelings. But you didn't, you left, like everybody does after high school.

Steph knew your plans for the future, join the military, travel the world, get some life experience then finally settle down.

You'd been to Oman, El Salvador, Finland, and South Africa showcasing aircraft and participating in charity work. You'd almost forgotten you're life before the military, but you simply couldn't, you too had heard about Rachel's and Chloe's passing and it lingered over your head like a dark stormy cloud that spat at you whenever you'd verge on peace.

You've always been one to face your problems head-on, you have to confront the pain that occurs each year when a news report reminds you of the tragic events in Arcadia Bay. You couldn't keep running from the memories, from the guilt that weighed heavily on your shoulders.

So, you made a decision. You booked a flight back home, back to where it all began.

- - - - - - - - - - 03/23/2009

"Suck it, losers!" Chloe belted after rolling a solid 19 on the D20, "I... I grab the slimy dwarf by its neck, I don't say a single word, I just squeeze and squeeze and SQUEEZE."

Mikey's face drops in disgust whilst Steph's forms into an amused grin, "Calamastia's scare tactic worked like a charm, the dwarf horde drop their sharpened branches and scattery in a scurry, leaving one dwarf, on the floor - dead." She narrates as she knocks over the 5 dwarf figurines and scoops 4 off the bench.

But as she focused on her next move, she couldn't help but feel a sense of distraction creeping in. It was you, approaching with your trademark smile on your face, causing her heart to skip a beat. As you drew closer, Steph's attention wavered, her role of game master momentarily forgotten as she found herself captivated by your presence. Your eyes met hers, sparking a connection that sent a rush of warmth through her veins.

"Damn it!" Mikey exclaims, aggressively eyeing down the 3 he'd rolled against one vengeful dwarf that remained.

"Hey guys," Rachel beamed, taking a seat next to Chloe on Mikey's side of the bench, ", so where do Y/n and I come into this?" Yours and Rachel's arrival brought a welcome distraction. Chloe smiled warmly at Rachel and you, happy to have more friends joining in on their game..

You slide into the space to the left of Steph, your hand brushing her shoulder while you continue to wear your smile. Steph looks up at you, her eyes lighting up with excitement. "Hey Y/n, glad you could make it!" she whispers, returning the physical touch you'd continued before turning her attention back to the game.

You could just about keep up with the game, you'd been given the class of 'Rogue', and you forgot your name months ago but didn't want to ask in fear you'd somehow offend her. But the game carries on, you quite enjoyed watching a master at her work, Steph's like some sort of genius, she knows everything about each character and all the possibilities.

Now and then, Steph would glance over at you, a small smile playing on her lips and a blush flurry throughout her cheeks whenever you'd return the eye contact, almost as if she'd been caught. It made your heart race just a little bit faster each time. It's unfamiliar but not all too bad.

- - - - - - - - - -

First was the Two Whales Diner, on entry, it was unusually empty, only the same police officer sat on a barstool along with a truck driver a few seats along. Only one booth was occupied by what looked like a couple of kids from Blackwell, obviously skipping class.

That was a common hobby of mine and Chloe's, we didn't know each other all that well, but we were the only ones out of the group drastically failing everything. It was weirdly bonding and odd, but nice, we'd just chat shit and vent. The blue-haired girl would go on about how David had now left a toothbrush in her bathroom and I'd complain about getting suspended for something you totally did do.

You two could just hate life together, it was soothing, something you missed.

Treading towards the surface amongst the barstools, you scan the room for any sign of Joyce. Nada. Maybe she's round the back.

You lean up against the surface that still adorned the same old carvings we all left over Christmas.

'bah humbug - mikey, chloe, y/n, reach, stephanie (it's steph)(it's not)'

You giggle at the memory before your attention is drawn towards the familiar waitress uniform, "Hey Y/n! Long time no see kiddo." But as you look up, a wave of disappointment washes over you as you don't see the blonde, kind-faced older woman, instead met with one of her closest work friends.

"Hey Judy, how are you?"

She tilts her head with a smile and nudges your arm, "I'm same as ever, darling. Clearly, you're doing better! Look at you, all tough and militant."

This isn't what you're here for, "Sorry to cut this short Jude, but I really need Joyce, do you know whether she's around? It's pretty urgent."

Judy's face slowly falls, "Oh honey, Joyce hasn't been around for a while. Chloe's death took quite the toll on her, not heard from her In months."

You briefly thank Judy for the information and bid her goodbye, quickly making your way out of the diner, your mind racing with thoughts of Joyce and what she could be going through after years had passed.

- - - - - - - - - -

Parked right around the corner from the Amber household, you take a deep breath recalling that pang of guilt and regret you were punched in the chest with at the news. Rachel was your best friend, someone you've got to care for, support, protect. You did none of that, in fact, you suspected nothing and let her die.

About 4 months after she'd gone missing, that's when you decided to leave and start your basic training. You dropped off the belongings she'd left at her house to her parents, a cardigan, an extremely flamboyant pen that had feathers sticking out of it (which screamed Rachel), and her bag that contained a book. This book, you'd always assumed it was her diary and refused to read it let alone even touch it for more than 15 seconds.

As you sit in your rental, staring at the street that leads to the Amber household, you finally build up the courage to get out, one last gulp and then you release your tight grip on the wheel and hop out of the car.

You know that returning her diary was the right thing to do, but it also serves as a painful reminder of your shortcomings as a friend. What if giving that back sooner could've saved her? You wish you could turn back time and be there for Rachel in her time of need, but all you can do now is try to make amends in whatever way possible.

Approaching the front of the house, you recognise something out of place, one or two signs, their brightness contrasting the cool tone of the house. As you get closer you make out the 'SOLD' signs, if it were appropriate you would scream in the air out of annoyance, but still, you walk up to the door and knock, just in case there is a chance in hell, heaven and earth at least one Amber would be there.

3 Knocks.

Another 4.

With a deep exhale you turn around, debating why you even came back, it was such a waste of time and soul. You might as well just go bac-

"Um... Hello? Can I help you?" A deep voice questions.

You turn back around to see a tall, rugged man standing in the doorway. His piercing blue eyes seem to look right through you as he waits for your response. You clear your throat and stammer out, "I-I was just... looking for a husband and wife, James and Rose Amber. Are they here?"

The man's expression softens slightly as he shakes his head. "Sorry, no Ambers here. This place was sold a few weeks ago." You feel a pang of disappointment but try to hide it as you thank him and turn to leave.

At this point you could only think of one more person in Arcadia Bay, it couldn't exactly be the closure you needed but it's close enough.

Sera Gearhardt: Rachel had mentioned her a few times after discovering her whole family scandal. Her mom isn't her mom, so her 'mom' is fake, but her dad is still with her fake mom while he cheats on said fake mom with real mom. Real mom comes back but Dad says no even though having an affair with real mom behind fake mom. Fake mom is aware of real mom and has been from the beginning.

Makes sense right? You met her once, briefly, by accident, you were a tad bit (1 hour) early to your get absolutely shit-faced sesh. Seemed nice, knew your name, not too much to tell.

- - - - - - - - - - 05/21/2010

To Steph, I overlook all, yet too far for the eye to see A wide body of water, if you really wish to seek me I look far and can be seen from afar I actually fucking give up, I'm by the lighthouse - Y/n

Steph's eyes light up like a Christmas tree at the thought of the two of you alone, in the most romantic spot in shitty Arcadia Bay.

The lighthouse had always been a place of quiet intimacy with its sweeping views of the ocean and the salty air whipping around you. It was where she'd imagined you two sharing your first kiss, a clumsy, awkward fumble, but somehow almost endearing. Now, with the words of your note burning in her mind, she felt a surge of anticipation.

She'd thought about things like this a lot but each time she would shut it down, realising how delusional she sounded.

So Steph took the bus to the shoreline and began the short walk. As she reached the top, the lighthouse stood tall and proud, its beam slicing through the fading light. There you were, silhouetted against the setting sun, your hair tousled by the wind.

"You actually found me," you say sarcastically, a cheeky grin spreading across your face. Steph felt a warmth spread through her body, a mix of relief and joy. "Yeah, you made it really difficult. Why couldn't you just send a text?" You chuckled, your voice rough with emotion. "Just thought you'd enjoy if I made it a bit mysterious. Clearly, it didn't work too well on my behalf."

As she walked towards you, the silence between you filled with unspoken words, the weight of your recent struggles hanging in the air like a storm cloud. "Um- well." "I'm being held back a year," you mumbled, your gaze fixed on the turbulent sea below. "I don't know whether it's because I'm lagging behind or whether it's because of the exchange thing. Either way, it's pissed me right off."

"I... I'm so sorry-," she managed to just about say before you interrupted her. You interrupt, shrugging with that smile twisting your lips. "-Don't apologise, Steph." You sigh deeply, "It just ruined a few plans is all." Steph knew you were trying to be nonchalant, but she saw right through it. The disappointment, the frustration, the irritation - it was all there in your eyes.

She knew those 'plans' were more than just a few. They were dreams, aspirations, and hopes for a future filled with adventures and possibilities. The exchange program messed up your education more than you can handle to even explain. You're impatient now, having to wait another year, well that's what it seemed.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't bring you up here to go all 'Woe is me' on you, " You both chuckle, knocking into each other, "You're leaving this year, so I thought we'd better make the most of it."

You reach into your jacket pocket pulling out two pathetically made string bracelets, "They're not exactly a masterpiece," You hold out the two on one hand, one green, one red, "Feel free to throw them into the sea and me with them if this is too much, Steph. But I wanted you to know you're a really good friend, y'know."

"To another year with Victoria!" Steph toasts, picking up the red bracelet and knocking it to the green, despite the gut-wrenching pain of being friendzoned.

That damn smile, how could she resist?

- - - - - - - - - -

Why has Sera disappeared off the face of the earth? You scroll and search through your phone searching up anything and everything relating to the woman and the Amber family, but all that appeared was your best friend’s death.

Lay down in the back seats of your rental car, you stare into roofing, how the fuck are you still here but not Chloe and Rachel? Why the two of them? At one point you considered paying the Prescott family a visit, hell even Nathan in the psych ward or wherever he is. But your senses soon saved the day preventing you from doing anything that'd make you lose your job.

You drop your phone onto your chest, letting your arms hang upwards, reaching out. You're still here, you spend a few seconds surveying every millimetre of your hands, and then down your left wrist, twisting it slowly. Then finally the right, the bracelet.

You don't really remember ever keeping that bracelet on, it was a weird feeling.

You tried to dismiss it, to convince yourself it was just a silly trinket, a meaningless gesture from one friend to another. Yet, the more you tried to ignore it, the more its presence gnawed at your mind.

As you look at it you feel its teasing, you can imagine the stupid single pieces of thread pointing and laughing at how pathetic your attempts at reconnecting with your past are. The bracelet felt like a burden, a constant reminder of what you had lost.

But you couldn't let go of the bracelet, not yet. You needed it, even if it felt like a cruel joke, a constant reminder of what you could never have, it felt wrong.

So you pull out your phone again and ring Steph's old number, you hadn't called her for what? 2/3 years? Y/n you dickhead.

Caller: Um... Hello?

Y/n: Hey, sorry to be a nuisance, does this number still belong to Steph?

Caller: No, it doesn't. Goodby-

Fuck my life. When is it going to end? Why am I getting nothing?

The only other solution you could think of at that moment would be calling Mikey, but honestly, what are the chances? So, again, you pull out your phone, linger your thumb over his name and eventually call.

Caller: Hey?

Y/n: Is this Mikey?

Caller: Oh heavens! Is that Y/n L/n?

- - - - - - - - - -

A couple of hours passed, and Mikey filled you in on both Steph's and his own situation, he was really intrigued by how you'd spent Christmas in the army (but you had to disappoint him by informing him you weren't at war and didn't have to spend every single moment at base), and you even got the chance to speak to Drew after years.

It was quite emotional, however you'd never let anyone know, but now you knew where Steph was after all this time. Haven Springs, Colorado.

17-hour drive? Fuck that, looks like another plane ride is in order.

- - - - - - - - - - 10/09/2009

"So... I'm basically a ninja?" You query, Steph fed up with your stupid questions, "Don't look at me like that! Okay, whatever, I'm a Rogue."

Steph nods her head slowly with a teasing grin.

"Rachel is a, um- Claric?" You raise one eyebrow towards the ginger girl.

Steph debates letting you off, shaking her head side to side biting her lip, "Cleric, but close enough. Carry on."

You quickly exhale and lean back onto Steph's bed, "Steph I'm done with this, why can't I just wing it?"

"Because even Chloe knows her shit, you don't!"

You roll your eyes, sitting up a little bit with crossed arms, 'Chloe? Seriously?' you scoff, unable to contain your incredulousness. "Chloe, the girl who can't tell Poland from Indonesia? She's got it figured out, but I don't?"

Steph raises her hands in surrender, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "Hey, don't underestimate Chloe," she says, "she's got a surprising amount of street smarts. And besides, she's got the whole 'magic is easy peasy' thing going on. You, on the other hand, have the grace of Bambi trying to walk on a tightrope."

You groan, sinking back onto the bed. The truth stung, but it was undeniable. You, the self-proclaimed master of 'winging it,' had somehow landed yourself in a situation where you desperately needed to learn the basics. You were supposed to be saving the world, but you couldn't even tell a spell from a chant. "Fine, fine," you relent, deflated. "But only because I have to. What do I need to know?" Steph, ever patient, pulls out a worn notebook and a battered copy of 'The Beginner's Guide to D&D Characters'. "First things first-"

"No. No, no, no! If I cook you dinner will you give it a rest?" You offer in an attempt to save yourself from further mental pain.

Steph laughs until she realises you're being serious, "Wait, you'll actually cook me dinner?" She furrows her eyebrows, "You can cook?"

'Yes, I can cook,' you admit begrudgingly. "And it's the least I can do to spare myself this torture." Steph's eyes light up with anticipation. "Deal. But remember, you're not getting off that easy. After dinner, we're hitting the books hard." A groan escapes your lips as you acknowledge the inevitable. But deep down, you know Steph is right. It's time to embrace the basics and shed the illusion of your so-called 'mastery.'

Steph gave into temptation and spat out the lingering question, "Is this a date?" She blurted out and immediately regretted it, her face flushing from her neck to the tops of her cheeks.

Your head tilts and your face softens with a smile, "If you'd like," You get up from your seat and stretch out a hand towards her, "I do love a gorgeous geek."

With grinning faces, you both head toward the kitchen, determined to both nourish your body and, begrudgingly, your mind. As you rummage through cabinets and flick on the stove, you can't help but wonder if this culinary diversion will be sufficient to postpone the dreaded onslaught of 'The Beginner's Guide to D&D Characters.'

- - - - - - - - - -

New Year's Eve and you're out chasing the past, how sad. It's late at this point, you accidentally fell asleep in the waiting room for the coach to Haven Springs, leading to you having to take the later one. Steph's probably out with her new friends celebrating.

You step off the bus and onto the gravelly road, praying she'd magically be waiting for you.

You walk past an old-fashioned pub, 'The Black Lantern' is lit up from the inside, music playing, and voices humming loudly. There were numerous shops, hiking, smoke, ice cream; but there it was. If Mikey was right, Steph should work in a record store as some sort of DJ.

It's pitch black, and only the tall dark streetlights illuminate small flickery sections of the village, it was quaint and charming, fitting.

You stand outside of the shop for a few seconds. The lights are on, You could've sworn you saw a shadowed figure through the vague light, with each passing moment you pussied out more, it was now or never.

3 Knocks.

The door opens, "Can I he- Fuck me! Y/n?" The still ginger girl exclaimed with disbelief, her eyes darting from eye to eye to ear to leg to shoulder, for a moment you thought she was having a stroke but she soon stepped aside to let you up the stairs.

As soon as you got up to the 2nd and final step she enveloped you into a bear hug, something she wasn't too fond of the last time you'd seen her. "I can't believe you're actually here."

Steph's mind was all over the place, she'd met with her high school crush who she thought she'd moved on from, clearly, she hadn't because the first thought in her head when she opened that door was - 'Oh my god, this is fate'.

Here the pang of guilt hit you harder than ever, "I've missed you, I'm sorry for not seeing you or - shit even calling you sooner." It's a shit apology, but you're sure you'll make it up.

"I missed you too," Steph returned shyly, "How come you're here? How did you know I was here?"

You lean up against the register counter, taking in Steph's workplace and home, taking in Steph, she was a little bit taller, and still wore a beanie wherever she went, boots? They're new. "It's a bit of a long story," You begin, ", but Mikey told me."

Steph looks like an excited puppy, "You can tell me another time, yeah? You're staying, right?", she can't hide the excitement in her voice, and you know you can’t disappoint her. Taking another deep breath, you nod.

"You know," Steph starts, clearly hesitant and still debating over her next words, "High school Steph would be going feral right now. She used to have a bit of a crush on you."Steph fiddles her fingers, looking down at her hands awaiting the silence's end.

You try to hold back a smile in a pathetic attempt, "Yeah, I think I got the hint."

You watch her, her hands moving with practised ease, her focus laser sharp. It's like a different version of her, the one you remember from high school, but more mature, more confident. 'What about you?" she asks suddenly, her eyes meeting yours. "Did you have a crush on me back then?" The question catches you off guard. You were always good at hiding your feelings, and you'd never let on how deeply you felt for her. "Maybe," you answer finally, a smile playing on your lips, "Maybe a little." A blush creeps up Steph's cheeks, and you notice a small dimple appear on her chin. You're suddenly aware of how close you are, the scent of coffee and cinnamon swirling around you. The air feels electric, charged with unspoken possibilities. "So," Steph says, her voice barely a whisper, "What are you doing here, really?"

"It-" Before you can excuse yourself from explaining yourself, you're saved by the roaring crowd outside, you assume they're beginning the countdown. Steph immediately races off and returns with a bottle of champagne, "Been saving that for this moment?"

"Of course I have." She shrugs sarcastically, popping the bottle just as the countdown reaches 1 the cork pops with a satisfying whoosh, and the champagne sprays a fine mist across our faces. We laugh, the sound swallowed by the roar of the crowd from outside as the fireworks begin their ascent.

You each take a turn at chugging the champagne until your face is covered.

Silence eeks between us, heavy with the weight of what's unsaid. Then, unexpectedly, Steph reaches out and takes a step closer. Her hand lands on my cheek, and the touch is electric. "You know," she whispers, her breath warm against my skin, "I don't think I ever lost feelings for you. I always had a thing for your smile."

Your heart leaps to your throat as you gaze into her eyes. The feelings you shared were too intense to be simply extinguished. You lean in, your lips hovering just a breath away from hers. 'I never stopped thinking about you,' you murmur. Your lips meet in a kiss that is both familiar and intoxicating. It's new but so normal and calculated. The fireworks continue to explode overhead, painting the sky in vibrant hues. It's as if the universe itself is celebrating this reunion.

You turn Steph around and push her against the register counter, her back pressed against the cool wood, her arms circling your waist, you feel the echoes of your past in every inch of her closeness. The kiss deepens, and neither of you can get enough, this made up for the 5 years of what you both craved but just simply couldn't get.

You break apart for a brief moment, breathless and flushed, your foreheads resting against each other. Her eyes, the same deep emerald green you remembered, sparkle with an emotion that mirrors your own. 'I can't believe this is happening,' she whispers, her voice thick with a mixture of disbelief and longing.

'Me neither,' you breathe, your finger tracing the curve of her cheek, familiarising the feel of her skin under your touch. The kiss resumes, this time more urgent, more desperate. It's a desperate attempt to reclaim the lost time, to make up for all the moments they missed. She tastes like summer nights and laughter, like the sweet promise of something beautiful and forbidden. With each touch, each sigh, each fleeting glance, your heart rekindles a fire that had long been dormant.

"Happy New Year, Stephanie." You tease

"Shush."

#life is strange #life is strange x reader #life is strange: before the storm #chloe price #rachel amber #life is strange before the storm #victoria chase #steph gingrich x reader #steph gingrich #mikey north #lis #lis: bts #joyce price

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