#3hrs sitting in my car

[lyricsandpapers]

Everyone wants autism until you have a meltdown about public parking rules and get trapped in your car for 3hrs

[bunnihearted]

🐇☀️☁️🍦

[lemememeringue]

we've reached the Scratched The Surface part of therapy.

[angeldarkrose]

So fucking miserable that I can’t even hang with my sister when she asks me to.

[criminal-sen]

Thanks to FD Signifier's 3hr video on Kendrick Lamar and Drake's diss tracks, I did some 'advance reading' (aka I listened to a bunch of Kendrick's music.. no i did not do the same for Drake lol) and found myself really liking a lot of his songs, as much as a white person who's conscious, perhaps overly so, of their whiteness can enjoy them (it was like. I played them all quiet on my car rides home from work and winced guiltily when he said the n word lmfao) and ofc there's a lot that I'm just not gonna understand on the same level as someone who's lived in that culture. But I tried haha. Um there's one song on his DAMN. album that makes me cry every time?? And weirdly it's LUST which is arguably one of the happier* songs, but it's in this wistful almost mournful kinda way that djdvdhshd it just gets to me

Anyway I'm rambling but all this to say I finally put on the video - and I'm pausing and listening to Kendrick's diss tracks as they appear - and nothing, NOTHING could have ever prepared me for Meet The Grahams. FD said it best - it wasn't a diss track, it was a public execution. And I'm sitting here the next morning still thinking about it, probably gonna be thinking about it for a long time tbh. I kinda wanna watch some of the breakdown videos FD recommended bc it is wild to me how u can so eloquently and precisely grind someone into dust like that. If u have even a passing interest in rap, I highly recommend the linked video - he has some others too on Kanye and some other artists - and if that doesn't appeal to you, check out his other videos. He has all kinds of leftist stuff that I can't possibly narrow down into a single sentence, highly recommended for anyone who wants to know more about the fucked up dynamics of racial inequality in the US from a black pov (okay I guess I narrowed it down huh.. that's really oversimplifying it tho tbh)

*yah so I listened to this song a bunch more since posting this. And um. I'm a fucking idiot:D calling that song happy is like. If someone gives you the thinnest most exhausted smile and tells you 'I'm fine', only to grab you by the shoulders, look DIRECTLY in your eyes, and say they are VERY much not fine, that the world's on fire actually??? And that NONE of this is even Remotely Fine!!!

You nod sympathetically, you maybe even say a few condolences. And as you're walking away, you think to yourself 'I'm glad that person is doing so well, they seemed really happy:)'

And then you write a fucking tumblr post about it

[twistedappletree]

i just left my baby priya at the groomers for the first time and i’m having so much anxiety over it kajdjajsjsd they were like “it’ll take about 2-3hrs” and i’m just sitting outside in my car watching the door bc i’m too nervous to leave lmFAO

[drakinq]

082723

2:17PM

It’s Sunday and I’m feeling a little better after I worked. Today didn’t start out on the best foot. I started crashing at Dianas this weekend and it been fine because I work but last night she went out and left me the key. She said she would be back shortly but to keep my ringer on. I stayed up for a few hours and got no word from her. Once I finally fell asleep I kept checking my phone to see if she called but didn’t. I woke up at 5am and see she still didn’t call. I didn’t notice that my phone was on do not disturb and fell back asleep. Then I felt someone shaking me calling me a bitch. I couldn’t understand what was wrong. It was Diana and she said she kept calling me and that she was stuck outside and had to call her dad because I chad the key. I look everywhere for my phone and once I found it I saw she had been calling for about 25 minutes. The way she was acting made it seem like longer. It was 6AM and she just kept pushing me and calling me a bitch and laughing. I was getting irritated because I had woken up to this. Of course I felt bad but she hadn’t communicated to me all night. I had no idea what time she old be home and forgot my phone was do not disturb. I smelt her breath and realized she was drunk. She just kept calling me a bitch and laughing and I just apologized trying to explain myself. She said she was gonna get me my own key but I was just irritated and wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep in peace. So I told her I was going to the gym. I pulled up to the gym and basically fell asleep for two more hours. I woke up irritated because Kehanna kept calling me wanting me to tell her blessings. I didn’t mind that either but she kept trying to get me to be positive when I wasn’t in a gleeful mood. I’m not ungrateful about anything but I’m not gonna be fake positive when I’m not in the best of moods. People kept coming around my car and looking at it and ignoring me sitting right there. I was starting to get more and more irritated. Now I’ve showered, ate and am feeling a bit better. I’m not sure if I want to go back to Dianas tonight. I know that I can’t wait to go to Trels and have some alone time for the week. I know its not gonna last forever Diana said she’s going to Baltimore for all of September and I can crash in her room. Like I said I think I just need some alone time. I don’t plan on living like this much longer. At Max November. So it’s only two more months, maybe that I have to do what I’ve already been doing all summer. Plus next week I’ll have more alone time and place to myself. I’m ready to dance tonight. I really want to show Kolanie how tapped in I can be. I’m actually going to go practice the dance right now. Despite my living situation being unstable. I am trying to learn that I can take dance and tap in anywhere. My instruments are music and my body while can follow me anywhere, at work after work before something anytime I can decided to tap in and dance better. I wish I would have worked on it all week but here we are. With 3hrs and a half until I need to start heading to The Room, I’m prioritizing tapping into dance. Like I said with my living situation being unastable right now, this is the perfect time to use dance as the rock for me. I think because I think I can only dance well is when I have is all together vs, I can dance and show up to dance regardless of what’s going on in my life is the theme of the summer and I will past this test.

[rorylane1201]

Yesterday was wonderful.

You gave us a 6.5hr chunk of sleep. We woke up happy and early - which gave us so much of the day to play with! Your Dad needed to get his suit trousers altered so we went to a place in Watford for this. You napped in the car. We then went to Asda to buy some bits for you.

We ended up having a McDonald’s breakfast whilst we were there as we had enough points on our app to have a freebie! You woke up for this so you sat in your car seat and watched us eat. You were such a happy little thing, laughing and babbling away. Your Dad told me he loved me and I could just see the happiness beaming from him. He is so in love with you.

We spent the afternoon relaxing, which is so rare! We then popped to Nanny and Grandads for a quick visit before heading to Fred’s birthday party. You are so loved by Uncle Fred & Beth, and little Stevie. It’s so lovely to witness. You were great, smiling, cooing and even laughing at some points. I am always so proud of you.

We then grabbed dinner from noodle city and headed back to Nanny & Grandads to eat it. You woke up as soon as we got to Nanny and Grandads which meant playtime with Grandad 😂

We then got you home, bathed and then put to bed. It was an up and down night. 2-3hr blocks of sleep. Your Dad gave me a lie in and then I took a shift so he could catch up on sleep. We had a lovely few moments with you laughing as we played. Then you bit me a few times during a feed which led to a small spiral on my part.

Our feeding journey has been so difficult. The start where I wasn’t producing enough milk and you were dropping weight so quickly has stayed with me. I spent all my time worrying if you were getting enough. Every weigh session we went to, I’d prepare myself that you wouldn’t have put on weight and I’d have to stop breastfeeding. I’d be so happy when they told me you’d put on weight, that I’d tell myself ‘well, at least I have another 2 weeks of feeding’ thinking the next weigh in would be the decider. It feels like we just got into our flow and I’m petrified of it coming to an end too soon. Of course you got your teeth earlier than most! Another bump in our journey of feeding. However, I’m going to try my hardest to power through it. I’ve read up on what to do and I think I can get past this.

We then went for a walk and picked up some breakfast sandwiches to eat in the park, in hopes you’d go down for a nap. Of course you did not do that. Instead, we came home and your Dad took you out on a drive to get you to sleep. I then cleaned the house. When you came back you gave us another hour or so to finish our chores. We then cooked lunch whilst you chatted away in your high chair, and now your Dad is upstairs in the middle of a contact nap with you whilst I sit down here watching Good Trouble.

This programme reminds me of the early days with you. I started watching it whilst you were still in my tummy! I used to come home and try to extract colostrum whilst watching it. I’d have the heater on, get a warm flannel and sit there hoping for the smallest drop of something to come out of my boob. Nothing ever did. Little did I know this was the least of my worries!

Then when you were here, I’d watch it whilst we contact napped. There was one nap which I think I will hold in my heart forever. I was wearing my big purple turtle neck. You were weeks old so it was still freezing outside. You fell asleep tucked under my right arm and snuggled up to me. I remember feeling so warm as we shared body heat. I remember feeling so cosy with you. You seemed to comforted and content.

[the-invisible-queer]

how do you think the Lucas bros are on a road trip? who hogs the aux cord? what snacks are consumed? who is a terrible driver, who is a good one, who has the lead foot? who gets carsick? who could you stand to sit in a car with for 8+ hours with nobody else as a buffer? if it was all 3 of them and you for 8+ hours, and you had to sit next to the same one for all of those, would your answer change?

OH BOY

Joe and Nick fight over the aux but Nick sits shotgun so he wins. Unless Joe is driving. Why does Nick sit shotgun? Because he gets carsick but gets it less in the passenger seat.

What snacks are consumed? I see them having a bag of pretzel cheese Combos that they share. But Kev also likes the pizza Combos. Each get a bag of their preferred chip flavor. Sandy packs then sandwiches and fruit for their first day or two of the trip. Joe needs his Twizzlers.

Kevin is the best driver. Joe likes to go fast. Nick is an anxious driver so he drives the least but he'd rather drive than be passenger to Joe's driving.

I think I'd take Kev on a 1on1 8+ hrs drive honestly. Joe needs constant enrichment and is the "are we there yet" type. And I just know for a fact Nick Lucas and I would try to kill each other if we spend any amount of time together which is why he's my least favorite Nick character.

IF I had to be with all of them catch me in the backseat with Joe playing eye spy for 3hrs until Nick tells us to shut the fuck up.

OR I'd pull out trivia games because that's what my family does on long drives.

[dark-dimare]

Me: *consistently states for years that I hate driving, prefer walking, don’t care about walking long distances that most would baulk at, procrastinates in getting driving license until absolutely necessary*

Me: *only agrees to accept rides and not walk 3hr in one direction to get to work in order to not be scolded by concerned colleagues*

Me: *agrees to house sit for family, debates over walking to/from work instead of driving due to closer distance before having option taken from me via car being towed mere days before time to house sit*

Family: *knows position on driving*

Me: I was actually debating on whether or not to drive before my car got towed

Family: wtf why

[paralien]

sitting in the backseat of my mom's car w my brother on the way to a funeral 3hrs away and. i am not used to sitting in the backseat anymore i am SO car sick it's not even funny

[m-vrks]

Warning: Venting.

Today was a day like any other… but why do I have so many reasons to cry rn?

Only got 3hrs of sleep.

Haven’t eaten all day but literally afraid to eat, because everything hurts my stomach.

Bloating after eating is so painful & lasts all day.

My wisdom teeth need to be extracted. My entire mouth’s been in pain all week. It hurts to even talk.

I’m sick. Runny nose. Coughs. Blood in my boogies from blowing my nose so much.

Migraine is slowly mounting.

My hands/feet are frozen, even though I’m wearing fuzzy socks & slippers bc I’m anemic.

Chronic joint pain makes sitting, standing, & walking hurt.

Scoliosis flare up. My spine hurts all day everyday, but even more so now with a weakend immune system.

Missed work for soo long. Damn near a month, if I’m counting the day of the incident to when I finally went back to work… I think I’m traumatized from the “experience”. & Financially? I have $4 bucks to my name rn, after I worked so hard to get back on track. It should’ve all worked out post-holidays but since I was “gone” for so long… No income. Everything I had went to catching up with bills/late fees from when I was “away”. Absolutely no clue how I’m going to pay rent. Or put gas in my car.

My 5yo had some strong emotions today… I was thankful he napped but lorrrdy am I tired. It’s for the same issue over & over again, & it’s so mentally exhausting trying to make sure I handle it with grace each & every (unexpected) time.

ADHD is a bitch & a half. The anxiety. The overthinking. The high & low feelings… It’s a lot.

Did I mention it’s shark week?? I’m being sabotaged by my own uterus rn. I never have cramps… Yet, of course when everything else hurts, so does my uterus.

There’s also a new New Moon tomorrow, whatever the fuck that means, but at this point, I’m sure it’s fucking with me too.

[theoreticslut]

personal post ahead; feel free to scroll

If someone would like to give me some ideas on what I should do in a situation I’d be extremely grateful 💗

The girl I’ve been talking to & really like has asked me over for new years!! I would absolutely love to go, but my car literally broke down two days after I came home from the semester :(

So I need to figure out how to get there - and she lives like 3hrs away from me, so it’s not as easy as like ‘hey mom can I borrow the car for the night to go visit my friend 20 mins away’

The way I’m thinking; I’ve got 3 options -

1) my car may potentially be drivable, but I’d have to check fluids in it and test drive it short distances before even thinking of making a 3hr trip somewhere

2) I borrow my older brother’s car who doesn’t get out much as it is so it usually just sits there

Or 3) I ask my mom to borrow her car

Now if I didn’t have to worry about my car potentially breaking down & leaving me stranded somewhere, id rather take my car for obvious reasons. For starters it’s my car so I don’t need to permission to take it somewhere & I wouldn’t have to worry about time frames (like what time Id leave my house and when id have to leave her house afterwards, etc etc)

But since I DO have to worry about my car breaking down, I think I feel better taking my mom or brother’s car. Now my mom’s car is in like good condition - there’s not much, if anything, wrong with it & I trust that I’d get to and from my friend’s house no problem. Thing is, it is my mom’s car. So not only would I have to ask her to borrow it (which would garner questions and needing certain information), but I’d have to work around or find a replacement car to work with her schedule. I’m not worried so much about her not having a car bc I know she’s used my brother’s before when things have needed to be done with her car. The biggest thing is I don’t want to ask her and have to give her information bc I currently have very few - if any - boundaries set with her (I’m working on it okay) & the idea of having to set them scares me.

So, personally, I feel like the best option is to take my brother’s car since it’s more trustworthy than mine currently is & he doesn’t really use it as is. I don’t think he’d ask too many questions, he’d just want me to be safe which I always am & I’d obviously let my family know when I get there so they don’t worry. Thing is with this option, I’d still have to give some information to my mom just so she knows that like I won’t be home and had a general idea of where I’ll be. So I think this is what I want to do, it’s just a matter of biting the bullet and actually asking my brother & my mom (sort of).

I just, is there a better option that I’m not thinking of? Am I overthinking this?? Under thinking it?? I really could use some input 😓

[pepperf]

Today I drove 2.5hrs, waited at a train station for my clinical lead for 3hrs (his train was stuck between stations, electrical fault, absolutely zip he or I could do about it), cancelled the meeting we were supposed to attend once it was past the point of no return, and drove 2.5hrs back home. 

So that was a productive use of everyone’s time. 

[i-t-guy-in-the-sky]

How I get ready for a birthday date night on the mainland:

Extra long shower - 10 minutes

Dressing in the clothes I picked out this morning - 5 minutes

Hair drying and styling - 5 minutes

Shoes, jacket, checking I have everything I need -5 minutes.

Total time: 25 minutes.

How Selene gets ready for a birthday date night on the mainland:

Bath- 1 hour 13 minutes.

Hair drying and brushing - 20 minutes.

Make-up (which I've never paid that much attention to the process of, but she talked to me the entire time tonight)

- Moisturing primer on her face

- eyeshadow primer on her eyes.

- tape under her eyes and up towards her eyebrows

- darker purple on her lids and then a lighter lilac on her upper eyes, going up to and over the tape.

(All relatively normal so far)

- draws the start of her eyeliner wings, two lines along the edge of the tape.

- tells me all about her friend Marnie and her work crush while she fans her eyeliner with a hand fan to dry the liner.

- paints a line from the top of the first down to the crease of her eye and then down to the top of the lid.

- tells me a 'fascinating' story about the rat she tried to befriend behind the Chinese takeout we use in Camden (note to self, find new takeout place) as she flaps at her face with the fan again.

-fills in the liner wings she made, then paints a line along her eyelid.

- flaps at the liner while she tells me how our new neighbour at the apartment keeps asking her if Scott is single.

- darkens her eyebrows with a tiny brush and coats her lashes with mascara while telling me about Armstrong's latest furball.

-starts to paint foundation onto her face with a smaller brush and then uses a brush roughly the size of a tangerine to 'buff it out' all over her face. She does this while telling me about the Halloween ritual her group has planned.

-dots concealer under her eyes and on random places where she insists spots are lurking even though I can't see them, while trying to convince me to come to the ritual with her.

-brushes bronzer along her cheek bones and under her chin to 'disguise the double chin I'm getting', which is as nonexistent as the spots, while explaining the traditional purpose of a jack o' lantern.

- buffs her face with powder to 'seal it all in and bake it down'. I have no idea why she is talking about baking her face but I've not said a word in the past hour that wasn't a vague agreement to whatever she'd told me, so I didn't ask her to elaborate.

- Spritzes her face with fixing spray to 'stop it sliding off during dinner'.

Time for makeup - 1hr and 9 minutes 23 seconds.

- Looking through her wardrobe while telling me she has nothing to wear -26 minutes

- getting dressed in the clothes she finally picked while telling me all about her brother's trip to Nepal - 18 minutes.

- finding that her other boot had migrated into my shoe box - 6 minutes

Finally getting her into her car and off the island before Alan could convince her to make him a sandwich - 14 minutes

Total time for Selene to be ready - 3hrs 16 minutes and 23 seconds.

Sitting down in a restaurant with a wife that feels and looks beautiful, is happy, relaxed and smiling because I didn't try to hurry her along or tell her she was boring me - timeless.

[love-n-pirates]

The Harm of Accusing DNF of Queerbaiting + Ignoring The Issue

I like to keep the stuff on this blog lighthearted and jokey and I like to just reblog art but I did wanna make another post about the kaceytron issue but specifically the accusations of queerbaiting. This is gonna be a long post so sorry about that but this stream made me really mad and I’ve put a lot of time into gathering my thoughts and reviewing the VOD again to ensure my citations and interpretations are accurate.

TW for mentions of homophobia and ableism and please remember no matter how mad this might make you as well. Don’t send any hate. Best thing to do is unfollow, block and move on, she’s already had enough of a stage to perform on.

I’ve sectioned the post into summary and thoughts with pictures in case you only want to briefly look but I tried to be cohesive enough without going on too long so hopefully you’ll give the whole thing a read. Particularly a part I wrote at the end about her using Dream as a scapegoat (titled such) I just think it’s important to keep in mind. I watched this shit a second time so you don’t have to! It wrecked my head but I’m unhappy with how they spoke about queerbaiting, which is a serious issue in media, and wanted to talk openly about it here.

At first I did feel bad for her and thought that some of it was blown out of proportion, things that she could learn and grow from but ultimately she showed no remorse and after how she handled speaking with Dream and the immature nature of the whole ordeal I can’t feel entirely awful for her anymore.

This is the tweet that started it all. Kacey is in a very similar circle to Dream and George so it makes sense that Dream stans would find it. Ignoring the sort of humour behind the fact that so many assumed it was about them, it is a shitty tweet and seems kind of irrelevant. Ironically enough, she was getting called out moments later as stans brought up prior racist, ableist and homophobic issues with Kacey. Cancelled for a little more than breathing it seems. 

One thing I wish had been asked from the get go was “Who is this tweet supposed to be about?” Kacey said it wasn’t even about them and that people were assuming incorrectly. She could’ve saved herself from the wrath of all the mc stans that came her way if she just said who it was really about. But she didn’t, which indicates to me that it definitely was about them. Not a great statement to make as a cishet woman, unprompted, especially when your influence often intertwines with theirs and when you share mutuals.

I did speak about queerbaiting before in reference to George just a couple posts down but it's blown up massively recently and I wanted to get detailed in a more general sense while using this event as a sort of case study.

For clarification I am a queer woman so I've had my fair run ins with queerbaity content etc. This is gonna be a detailed rundown of what was said with my own thoughts on it and some time stamps are included if you feel the need to see for yourself.

TL;DR

Dream and George are not the malicious straight boys they’re being made out to be. Saying they’re Queerbaiting is a disregard for their own emotional autonomy and they have been open with the fact they do not date nor do they use it for views. This argument is being used to shift focus from the important conversation which is Kaceytron’s use of slurs and arose from a stream that was made about Dream and forced him to be involved. She’s doing it for attention and should be ignored.

WHAT IS QUEERBAITING?

First of all, queer baiting is defined as "a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation."

Technically twitch streams do fall under entertainment although I would argue that there is a certain nuance to this. We know that streamers often put on a certain persona when streaming (Tommy and Quackity are very loud in their own streams because that's their brand, then on their alts they are very laidback) but I would say that Dream and George are two streamers that are often just themselves while streaming. Particularly when they are together, it makes sense that a stream has a change in vibe when the cc is talking with a friend rather than focusing on talking to chat. Since these two usually only stream when they're with friends, we tend to see a more authentic side. We very much feel that they are real people showing their casual side. Their streams do not feel performative, this is part of their appeal.

Don’t forget that Kacey, a cishet woman, puts her streams under the LGBTQIA+ tag on Twitch. A tag only usually used if the streamer is LGBT.

SUMMARY OF EVENTS IN THE STREAM

Now, the stream. During the stream Kacey had her sister and two friends(both gay men, important for a later point) to back her up. Dream joined at about 3hr and 55 mins and already there was a distinct power imbalance in Kacey’s favour within the call. They titled it a debate yet it felt more like relentless high school bullying. They spoke for about an hour and the entire time, Kacey’s chat was spamming for her to ask about queerbaiting. Finally, one of her friends, Shaun, brought it up at about the 4hr and 43min mark.  

Now, the reason I have a few issues with this is that it seems to me that he doesn’t really know what he’s talking about. You can see on his stream(in the background of Kacey’s) at one point that he has a massive text post from tumblr up that is accusing Dream of queerbaiting, saying that he gets to benefit from maintaining a queer audience but without the issues that come with being a gay man as he prefers to keep it ambiguous. That text post is super problematic, a creator is not there for your wish fulfillment or to be your idol. Also, there is a lot of assumption coming with saying he isn’t ostracized just because he doesn’t label himself. Instantly it’s clear that this post is the basis for the accusations that Shaun is making. I’m using accusation lightly here because over all I think the Shaun guy was very civil, (at least to Dream’s face) but the rest of the group were quite on the attack, particularly Kacey’s sister, Holly. (I’ll come back to her)

Shaun says that he feels that Dream and George, possibly unintentionally, are guilty of queerbaiting. Dream handled it well and said he would like to open that dialogue and asked Shaun to expand on what he means by queerbaiting and if he has any specific events that would be prevalent. Shaun says he has examples that he can pull up, which he never does, and continues to be very vague and general about it in saying that there’s been a “culture” going on for years that he’s noticed.

At this point, the other guy (I didn’t catch his name, sorry) jumps in and says there's a “clear flirtiness in attitude and undertones” which Dream agrees to. He points out that this is how he interacts with most friends, male and female, on the Dream SMP. He also points out that he acts like that with his friends both on and off camera and it’s not like he’s only approaching gay men and flirting with them. It’s clear that this line of joking is a constant in his friendships, where comfortable, and is never malicious. He even asks what their thoughts would be if he only did it with gay men and how that would differ, they don’t answer this question and the conversation moves on.

At the 4hr 46min mark is where Holly jumps in and tells of VERY personal experiences from Shaun’s past of him being tormented by straight guys in school, being called slurs and jokingly flirted with. She even tells a story about how a homophobe hit him with their car. This was very uncomfortable as it was not her experience to share and Shaun was IN THE CALL. She said that Dream’s flirtations with George could be a trigger to people like Shaun because of that experience. This shows again a lack of awareness for other people, she’s using Shaun's personal story for her own gain and not even letting him be the voice that tells it. This sat poorly with me as Kacey was already being accused of speaking over LGBT voices rather than lifting them up with her, then her sister goes and does it live. Maybe Shaun was ok with this, maybe not, it just didn’t sit well with me. At 5hr and 05mins, after Dream is gone, they mention this again and Shaun asks them to point out when he said he was triggered after he talked about his experience. He was clearly uncomfortable with the use of the word and it seems to have been put in his mouth.

Shaun then says that he doesn’t like it because here are Dream and George exhibiting behaviours that some people are often scared to do because of homophobic violence. To me, this was probably one of the only valid sort of feelings against it (Shame he wasn’t let speak more). I understand why someone might look at it that way, but at the same time there is a clear difference between messing with your friends and real life romantic flirtation. In my own personal life I know that I’ve been afraid of any sort of pda with a partner but when it comes to my own joke flirting with friends, I’m never afraid to do it. This can differ from person to person and maybe is very different for gay men but this is my own gay experience as someone who understands that fear. I think that the line is fairly clear between the real and the jokes and I honestly have no doubt that Dream and George have probably had people throw homophobic language their way but it may not have had to same effect as they don’t present themselves as homosexual.  

Worth noting that during this exchange Dream does say in passing he’s straight but it’s said in a hypothetical sort of way which leaves it unclear and he’s stated before that he doesn’t like labels and he wants to keep it ambiguous so it would be more respectful to continue thinking of him as such. Ambiguous is the way he chooses to present his sexuality and this should be accepted by everyone instead of making assumptions that he is straight. He was under pressure from four other adults to explain himself and handle accusations, anyone would say they were straight if they were being pushed like that and felt it wasn’t a safe environment. Which it definitely wasn’t and I advise that anyone who does want to watch back the VOD to turn off chat because they’re extremely toxic.

Holly proceeds to say that this makes gay people the butt of the joke, Dream says that he sees it more as the flirting with his friends as the joke, again, I’d agree with him. Depends on your humour I suppose, but arguably, anyone who watches Kacey interact on egirl rejects and stuff like that will see she often makes flirty jokes with Minx and other female friends, for some reason this isn’t seen as queerbaiting, but it’s unfortunately not brought up. I can understand why, Dream wasn’t trying to make any accusations in return, he was legitimately trying to have an earnest conversation which quickly went sour.

Holly goes on to explain how Shaun feels, by speaking over Shaun, and asks Dream what he thinks about that. Dream agrees that Shaun’s feelings are valid and says “That’s why I started this off by saying ‘lets talk about this’“. Holly gets extremely patronizing and asks if he understands it now that it’s been explained.

Dream is still very patient with them and agrees that he’s said things and learnt from mistakes and criticism that he’s received. He speaks honestly about his original cancelling and how he handled it poorly but learnt from that and has grown to be more careful and thoughtful with the things he says.

I have a real issue with this again because words are continuously put in his mouth. He’s asked several times throughout the whole call to denounce things, from people hating on Kacey to actual MASS SHOOTERS. He’s barely given space to defend himself and is ignored when he tries to say that he can’t control his fans. They just ask him time and time again to denounce multiple things.

The only time where Dream seems actually riled up by anything they say is when Holly, at the 4hr 11min mark, mentions the hashtag “Shooters4Dream” trending and says its Dream stans promoting gun violence (which was just a handful of idiots being insensitive under the tag). Dream responds to this with his classic “Oh come on” but before he can say anything else, Kacey does talk over him and says that the tag was mostly people denouncing it and tries to change the subject, but Dream brings it back and says that the tag was stupid and wrong. Holly and Kacey talk about how people were making jokes about it and Holly asks “Is it funny to you? Because your community think it is.” She’s playing such an abrasive blame game with him and he talks about how he spoke against it on twitter, they discount him, and Holly can be seen laughing at him. When Dream tries to explain the issue properly and Kacey just says, “Lets skip this, let's move on.” Dream points out that it is bad that the tag was trending, but he didn’t want to speak about it too much otherwise it would become a bigger thing. Ultimately, he doesn’t control his fans and the meaning of the tag was misconstrued massively. A matter of poor use of language and appalling timing.  

Love or Host

Love or Host is brought up a few times as an example of him flirting with George which I found interesting as he’s only been in one episode (George’s) and he was talking mostly to the girls on the show to figure out who is good for George, as that was his role. During this there was joking about how he should come before the girl and even female guests joined this line of joking. This is all part of the show and most played along with the bit, it’s not an uncommon bit for guests on the show to do. Not just Dream and George, but other guests in their respective episodes.  

I also find the mentioning of Love or Host interesting purely because, if anything, it’s the exact type of content that Kacey should hate, right? False relationships being formed? It’s not like there’s only straight people on the show as well, there’s been gay and bi love or hosts so queerbaiting, under the parameters which Kaceytron has set, is on the table. I’ve yet to see a real romantic relationship come out of an episode of LoH. This is a show purely for content and Kacey knows this, she’s appeared on multiple shows and even won Sapnap’s episode. She knows their date wasn’t real. Her sister says that many women are afraid to be on LoH because of hate they receive in the aftermath of the show and she claims it’s running its course because of this. I’d have to disagree with this (it’s a super successful show cmon) and, though a lot of people do get hate on the show, I think it’s often outweighed by the benefits they get from that type of exposure which is why people like Kacey continue to appear on multiple episodes.

What I found most interesting was what she said about her appearance on George’s episode. Mostly jokes were made about this costume: 

admittedly, it was kind of funny albeit rather creepy. However, if Kacey felt so strongly about Queerbaiting, why would she dress like that. Why wasn’t she a passionate advocate then? Where’d the sudden fire come from? I think we all know the answers to these questions.  

In response to people bringing up how she pandered by using this costume, making her a hypocrite, she said that in dressing like that she knew she was appealing to children. Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t know many kids that want to sit through a four hour long dating show filled with adults they don’t know and stuff they don’t understand. I don’t think the Austin Show’s demographic contains an awful lot of kids, no matter who the guest on the show is. Also, the point of the show is not to appeal to the audience per se, but to the person whose episode it is. It felt like a weak excuse and another chance to try take a dig at mc stans for being younger and trying to brand them as immature.

INITIAL AFTER THOUGHTS

As I said before, creators do not owe you anything, especially not a window into their personal lives. We’re lucky that Dream shares so much and is a very open person, you don’t need to pry any more than that. When you get upset about him queerbaiting you, what you say to me is that you don’t see him as a person. It’s a level of objectification that leaves me feeling uneasy, if you feel robbed of something because of this then you need to set your priorities straight.

As Dream said in the stream, he hasn’t misled anyone. He has specified that him and George are not dating nor do they plan to (I included a SS at the end of this as well where he states this again). If he were queerbaiting then he would title his videos as though George was his boyfriend, he doesn’t do this. He makes it clear that they are friends, their chemistry is never used as a marketing device or as the main attraction of a video.  

Many pointed out the hypocrisy of Kacey’s claims. Some pointing to her own channel where she has a playlist of 16 videos titled “gay videos”

These are just a few of the videos. Within one of these videos, titled “The F Word”, she complains about reclamation of slurs and repeatedly says the r slur. She shows no remorse for saying slurs and this is part of why it’s difficult to forgive her. 

I don’t even know what to say about this video. This is extremely offensive, even if the people involved agreed to it, it doesn’t mean it's not offensive to other gay people. This clip features her sister and Shaun, who were on the call, kissing while clearly intoxicated. The narrative that gay people can be ”turned straight” is extremely harmful and is an unfortunate reality that many LGBT people are forced through. In the call with Dream, they mention how maybe some gay people are fine with Dream and George’s flirting but people like Shaun weren’t and so they should be more respectful. When it comes to a video, like the one I’ve shown above, you’d think they would follow the same thought process. This is far more offensive and harmful to the LGBT community than any harmless flirting between friends. The hypocrisy is blatant.  

Sometimes streamers are tricked into saying slurs by donos etc. but instead of saying sorry I didn’t mean it and here’s what happened, Kacey tends to jump on the defensive. Dream said to her around when he first joined the call that he understood how difficult her position was because when he was first cancelled he felt like it was very unfair. He told her that even if you don’t think you’re wrong you can’t control how other people feel and you have to acknowledge that. He did mention how he handled his cancelling badly (something he still gets shit for today despite the fact he learnt from his mistakes) and that instead of getting upset about it now, he knows you should just take accountability and move on. Kacey doesn’t register this and goes on about how terrible it is for her.  

MISOGYNY AND AGE DEMOGRAPHIC

Part of me wonders if the reason she continues to fight with mc stans is because she knows she can just call them stupid kids and call it a day. This is interesting to me as I think I’ve seen more 15-24 year olds in this group rather than young children. Maybe this is just the content I’m looking through but I actually think that her demographic is more similar to Dream’s than she thinks. It’s just easier to write them off as snot-nosed minecraft playing children. This is a theme she sticks with as she makes half-assed jokes about bedtimes and parents etc. etc. It’s boring.

Also, despite the accusations at Dream, calling him a misogynist, it actually was both Kacey and Holly who came in with the sexist narrative as they go on about how his fans are just teenage white girls. This is a clear double standard as they are trying to use both age and gender to discount the validity of their feelings.

For someone who says she doesn’t care, it sure is interesting that she’s tweeted constantly about it and streamed for hours at a time. The stream with Dream was seven hours long. She blames the fact that she accidently read a slur out on stream on her lack of sleep. As a creator, you should know your limits and when you are and aren’t emotionally ready to be on camera. Kacey clearly does not know her limits and it effects her greatly. On the first watch I skipped forward in the VOD to the six hour mark and found she was still chatting shit about Dream with her sister while playing Roblox.  

Ironic that she goes on about stupid minecraft kids while being a 30 y/o woman playing Roblox. Nothing wrong with playing stuff at whatever age but not when you’re ragging on kids for the same thing.

USING THE GAY NARRATIVE

I finally wanted to come back to the use of her two gay friends in the so called “debate”. At 6hr and 08mins she reads out a message in either chat or from twitter.

“Listen up here cishet woman, you are cishet, shut your mouth and do not talk about queerbaiting ever again, ok?”

I don’t think people should bother going to her chat to say this stuff because it only fans the flames and will not change her mind but it’s what she said after that left me thinking that she knew exactly what she was doing when she included two gay men in the narrative on her side. She says  

“That’s why there were two gay people on the show who talked about queerbaiting and how it’s offensive to them. Are they trying to speak over gay voices? Like, who are they playing?”

I find it difficult to consider this a valid point as they quite literally spoke over said gay people themselves and as I mentioned, it was pressure from Shaun’s chat that made him bring it up when it was clear he wasn’t educated on the specifics of who he was speaking with. It all felt very false and like a set up to try catch Dream out. They were essentially there for the clout they get for being plants for Kacey as long as they go along with the narrative she was pushing. They seemed dispassionate about the topic and were more interested in drama. It makes them unconvincing debators.

KACEY’S CHAT AND ABLEISM

I could barely look at the chat the whole time because they were very toxic and some even used slurs in there. Kacey claims to have created a safe space for people, particularly LGBTQ people, yet from what I saw, it was only really a safe space for bigotry and toxicity. These are just some screenshots that I took during the call.

Blatant ableism in the first one, maybe they didn’t know about his ADHD, but this was one of many and even Kacey and her sister made fun of it when he was out of the call. 

Gaslighting is a serious accusation. The definition is this: “Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person or group makes someone question their sanity, perception of reality, or memories. People experiencing gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and unable to trust themselves.”  

This does not apply to Kacey; she is not questioning her sanity or being confused. She’s outright denying things. There is no gaslighting going on here, yet the chat was FILLED with it. Bitches will learn a new word like gaslighting and queerbaiting and really use it for everything oof.

Not once did he invalidate the fact that there is misogyny in the community and if anything he has expressly supported female creators very vocally and without being asked to. Writing off anything he says just because he’s a white man is not even an argument; he accepts the privilege he has and has never claimed that others don’t experience issues because of these things. This is not a misogynistic attack, this is a grown woman being asked to own up and apologize for her mistakes.

Chat continued to be extremely toxic towards Dream and even people in game with Kacey made multiple jokes about him. Here’s an example of just one.

It says ”What I wear omw to dream’s court hearing.”

They say a lot of horrible things about him and Holly even makes implications of him being inappropriate with fans which is an extremely serious thing to say and is based in NO truth.

SHIFTING FOCUS

Right before Dream left, they reiterated that they didn’t think he was a bad person because of his “queerbaiting”. This was something repeated many times throughout the talk. The implications of this language use is that Dream should be the one apologizing and that Kacey and her friends somehow were the ones with the power to forgive him. Overall, it was misguided and gross. He shouldn’t have had to be defending himself from four people at once all by himself, especially when the conversation was not supposed to be about him. And to clarify, he did not make it about himself, he started by talking about Kacey and how he had been trying to dm her about her cancelling. It was them that turned it on him to flip it in their favour.

There was an insistence that they were the victims, direct quote from Kacey at 5hr 55min and 40sec Kacey says “I am a victim, I am literally a victim of cancel culture.”  

Yes, I think the doxxing is too far and constant hate doesn’t do much but Kacey needs to acknowledge that her words hurt a lot of people and she needs to own up to that.

Even after Dream left, they continued to chat shit about him, with Shaun even saying at about the 5hr 16min mark that he thought Dream had “perfectly scripted” his responses in a way that meant he wouldn’t have to denounce his fans. Of course he won’t talk crap on his fans when they’re the reason he is famous and he knows it’s a minority that ruins it for everyone else, he’s said he doesn’t like people who spread hate calling themselves his stans. The idea that Dream could have prepared a response to the questions and accusations thrown at him from a cast of half high and fully ignorant strangers who are all almost 10 years older than him is ridiculous. He was clearly out of his comfort zone and was a complete curveball for him. This leads me on to the main reason I think Dream was dragged into this.

SCAPEGOAT

If we’re being real, this is a clear attempt to change the subject away from Kacey. Dream is someone who people come for often, whether it’s accusations of cheating or scripting or bringing up past mistakes which he has apologized for and showed that he has grown from. He even said to Kacey that he does get death threats and he’s been doxxed before. He constantly gets in trouble because of the more radical “stans” who are a problem starting minority for the rest. Dream separates himself from those people as best as he can, but he knows himself that he can’t escape that brush he’s been tarred with. Kacey also knows this.  

By bringing Dream into the narrative, she’s successfully shifted the focus of the conversation in a way that favours her. That stream conversation should’ve been about Kacey and the things that she has said, instead it was a grilling session from four strangers for Dream. Now people are very focused on that aspect of the whole thing (myself included ofc but this post is specifically about qbaiting accusations so) rather than the important part which is holding her accountable for her use of slurs.  

It’s not her first attempt at this as she made a twitter post about how she was no.1 trending despite a mass shooting taking place. Of course this is terrible that that would be higher up but it was an obvious blame passing as this reply points out.

She knows what she’s doing and has shown no sign of stopping. It’s best that she’s not given any more attention now but just try not to watch anymore content with her in it. As I said before, don’t bother with any hate, just block and move on. For a creator complaining about all the “kids” coming for her, she doesn’t act all that much older despite being fully grown at 30 years of age.

CONCLUSION

At 6hr 42min 30sec Kacey mentions that she is number 2 on trending to which her friend replies “Good job Kacey”, she laughs. It’s clear that she does this for attention, her friends are there for clout and they are all irrelevant clowns looking to get a career boost out of creators more successful than them. They don’t stop to consider others’ feelings or empathize towards anyone. Kacey will say herself that she got her start from baiting on 4chan, this is her brand. It’s just unfortunate that she seems to think that she’s doing something just when, in actuality, she is causing a lot of damage to the LGBT community and invalidating many people with her unapologetic use of ableist and racist slurs. Her friends congratulate her because it's obvious it’s the attention she wants, this is why she streams for so long and tweets so much. She hit a far higher viewership on this stream than she normally would. I’m sure this sort of hatred does affect her negatively, whether she notices or not, I hope she gets the help she needs to become a less selfish person and to become more productive with her time.  

Remember again to not send hate, just block and move on. I also recommend that you don’t watch this stream but if you are going to then watch a reupload on YT so she doesn’t get money out of it.  

I was very uncomfortable after watching the stream, especially with all the false allyship with the LGBT community. People like Kacey act like this to get views whenever they’re losing their following. Just don’t fall for any bait and petty jibes that they throw this way. Don’t let any anger get the better of you and just lets move past it as it can’t be healthy for people like Dream to have to see this on his TL as well, which he will if we keep interacting. Though I do think that for now, it’s pretty much over.  

For all the talk of how hateful this community is, I couldn’t disagree more. I’ve found most people very pleasant and the CCs themselves very accepting of all types of people. I’ll leave off with these tweets Dream made at the end of last year. Stay safe folks, be positive and kind to each other! Much love <3