#3) i dont fucking know i may be the more boring person in the world

[kasarian]

gah its starting to get super lonely on the internet again

[stereor4t]

lesbian movies I've seen so far (review based on my tastes)

I'm going to give my opinion of the lesbian movies I've seen so far and I'm going to give them a score from 1 to 5 stars :3 it may contain some spoilers

Bound(1996)

For the year this movie was made, I was actually surprised by the END of it(fuck the obsession with killing the protagonist). I didn’t really have much faith in it by how it stars, but man, I was so surprised, I loved it, be gay do crime. ★★★★☆

Gia(1998)

God, this movie is my new roman empire, I didn’t know about Gia’s story, but the ending of the movie DESTROYED ME. the scene where shes talking with Linda and she says: now we have all the time in the world, I was so moved by it, I loved it. It’s currently one of my favorite movies.★★★★★

Lost and delirious(2001)

ugh shakespearean shit, this movie touches more than one of us when it comes to the experience of liking girls. I liked it but I felt like there was a lot of wasted potential that could’ve made it great, tbh i just wanted Paulie to be happy; the fact the Piper Perabo is in it helps the score too. ★★★☆☆

D.E.B.S.(2004)

ITS THE BEST FUCKING MOVIE IN THE WORLD, GOD. I actually hated this movie before watching it ‘cause I thought it was some dumb comedy, but god, when I gave it a chance it BLEW ME AWAY. If you want to see some lesbian spies enemies to lovers shit watch debs.  ★★★★★

My summer of love(2004)

Personally, I HATED this movie kjj, I didn’t really get ANYTHING at all, like it felt like everything was just too rushed??? like when did they even fall in love lol? Gets points just for Emily Blunt. ★★☆☆☆

Imagine me & you(2005)

Piper Perabo again and Lena Heady THE WOMAN. This movie is ART, my fav movie, it’s beautiful, comfort movie af. The true don’t let your husband keep you from meeting your future wife. ★★★★★

Loving Annabelle(2006)

This movie was made for all of us who once liked a teacher or profesor. I liked it quite a lot, but I feel like seize it’s true potential. Personally, I choose to think that the alternative ending it’s the true one lol. ★★★☆☆

Bloomington(2010)

Again for us that like fantasizing about our teachers. I like this movie but again, I feel like they didn’t really make the most of it jskdja annoying af bitching about the same but yeah, it bothered me. Anyway, i liked the movie, and I didn’t like the ending at all,I felt bad for the poor teacher :c. ★★★☆☆

A perfect ending(2012)

I know a lot of people hate this movie and think it’s shit, but I personally love it lol. Idk I remember that when I watched it it got me super emotional and i liked it a lot, dont care what anyone says to me it’s a good movie. ★★★☆☆

The girl king(2015)

★☆☆☆☆

Didn’t like it at all, boring af, i didn’t really get it, idk, i was expecting more. ★☆☆☆☆

First girl i loved(2016)

Im fond of this movie, it was one of the first ones I saw, the ending just made a me a bit frustrated, but I liked it, Brianna Hildebrand with a wig funny as hell. ★★★☆☆

Disobedience(2017)

Rachel Weisz and McAdams DAMN. Great movie, I liked it in all aspects. Although the ending wasn’t what I expected I still liked it. ★★★★★

Tell it to the bees(2018)

Mmm I think this movie is kinda meh, like it’s okay but I feel like it lacks something for me to like it, tho I didn’t get the ending, like I don’t understand the decisions each one took. ★★☆☆☆

Ammonite(2020)

Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan!!!! I liked it but I didn’t love it, I never got to understand if Mary hated or loved Charlotte. The ending got me frustrated!!! ★★★☆☆

Crush(2022)

The kind of movie you gotta watch after Gia, I liked it I thought it was silly, like very much teenage romcom sort of shit, like the Kissing Booth but for lesbians. ★★★☆☆

You can live forever(2022)

I think this is a great movie, interesting story, I wasn’t expecting the whole ending sequence, what Marike says to Jamie destroyed me, in my head theyre the young version of the Disobedience ones. ★★★★★

Booksmart(2019)

GREAT MOVIE, very entertaining and funny, I liked it quite a lot, it’s perfect to watch it with friends. Gigi is just like me fr best character ever. ★★★★★

[spatio-rift]

9/10 and 24/25 :3

Yesss thank you Smiles so sweetly. 💙

9. worst part of canon: we all know about this... taka(+orochimaru)s characterization thrown away in the war for jokes or to act as plot devices... i fear i may never forgive kishimoto. the atmosphere wasnt so tense that we needed karin to be crazy about sasuke again + that overt about wanting sasuke to bite her (?!). why is suigetsu acting like he wasnt captured and experimented on by orochimaru but worked for him like karin. why is juugo acting like sasuke is kimimaro when he clearly made the difference before. orochimarus weirdass change of heart because we needed the hokages to show up. or even suigetsu randomly stumbling upon a convenient scroll detailing how to undo shiki fuujin and his first thought (before he meets sasuke again) is to pocket it because it would be useful for sasuke?? like why was it in suigetsus hideout of all places. why does suigetsu even know what it means. im sorry i just dont think orochimaru discussed the matter of his arms & the first 4 hokages souls over the vivisection table and i dont believe sasuke ever brought it up during hebitaka because WHY WOULD HEEE. etc etc etc like am i making sense? they really are just there to move the plot along and play out a joke once in a while. nothing about what happened when taka separated matters at all in the war theyre barely even characters

10. worst part of fanon: 100% the tendency to make everyone friends i think its so boring!!! like in what world are taka invited to karuis wedding? in what world is karin a guest star on the real housewives of konoha (=joining them for brunch). what exactly do temari and karin have in common other than both having the Kishimoto Woman Personality Type #1.

its so much more fun to have characters who just cant stand each other. naruto dislikes taka for literally no reason and its hilarious we should keep it that way. no way im ever believing karui genuinely befriends sakura i think they should HATE having to see each other all the time because their girls are besties. it will always feel more natural &balanced to me + im more inclined to believe 2 characters whove never talked to each other could be great friends if youve also considered who they DONT mesh with at all.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse: im trying to remember the sort of discourse ive seen on twitter… but i think i will be boring and say like anything about sakura honestly and especially her relationship with sasuke. the only thing i can think about rn is her fake confession to naruto i dont know what about it gets people going THAT much but they are naastyyy about it.

discourse about Saradas REAL Mom i also steer clear of as much as i can. disgusting. nasty. rancid. i hate that its still a thing people argue about in 2024

you could literally say anything about a naruto woman and it will bring up disgusting discourse honestly

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing: i cant remember anything specific and i know i will feel silly right after posting because like 5 different things will immediately come back to me. here are a few

-> that sasukes ending sucks but everything could be fixed if he got to travel the world with taka. because he #DeservesIt. no the fuck he doesnttttt he should go on his own since he wants them to leave him alone so much.

-> i guess more generally all the complaints about narutos ending SPECIFICALLY about everyone getting married and having kids. i really dont careeee the kids are cute the pairings were set in stone from the beginning everyone is happy. im happy. who give a shit.

also its not exactly a complaint but every other comment on any kind of naruto side content (like sasuke retsuden manga etc) being like "this is awesome not like that trash boruto" SHUT UP!!!! i understand not liking the story of boruto and i understand feeling disappointed by it as a sequel to naruto but you dont have to bring it up all the time!! just move on!!! ignore it!!! you will be much happier!!!

[rainbowgaez]

long ramble because i just dropped my gf off at the airport and I am a fucking mess with too many thoughts in my brain

over the last couple weeks, i finally met one of my partners—the one ive been with longer than ive been with literally anyone else in my life. despite being together since mid 2016, this was the first time we both had the wherewithal to make a visit happen, and while that may seem like it took way too long, for a lot of reasons that you don't need to know, it couldn't have happened at a more perfect time.

she flew in on the 26th and immediately i knew we would get along just as easily as we had online for years before then. both of us have always talked about how quiet and introverted we are, but it was one of those things where i didn't know if we were going to truly vibe irl until it happened, even if both of us were pretty sure we would.

we always talked abt how the first car ride from the airport was going to be awkward—it's a 3 hour drive from my place to there. both of us are slow to work up to physical affection, but when i picked her up, it wasn't but like ten or twenty minutes into the ride before we were wrapped up in each other. it just clicked. that's so incredibly rare for me with anyone. even partners ive established intimacy with, i usually have to re-warm up to them after time apart. so the fact that we connected so quickly when we first met was so special.

im a pretty boring, solitary person. my favorite activities are ones in which it's quiet and i can do my own thing. this is always a bit scary for me. i don't want to bore anyone just because my brain only ever feels like engaging with what it wants. but that wasn't a problem with her—quite the opposite, actually. we could just sit there and quietly do our own thing in my room, and it felt every bit as special as it would if we went out and did things. there was no pressure for either of us. we settled into each other's patterns instantly. within days, it felt like she'd been living with us all along. i wished that were the case.

distance is hard. it's a lot of counting. how many miles apart you are. how many hours, days it would take to close the gap. how much time will it be before you can be together for real.

and then, when you plan a visit, it becomes about counting down, and that's so exciting. you start counting the months until it's time. before you know it, you're counting the weeks. it's something to look forward to. something to hang on to.

but the moment you meet, the countdown isnt exciting anymore. it gets a lot harder. you might still have weeks to count, but before you know it, weeks become days. days become hours. hours become minutes. minutes become mile markers, and mile markers become exits, exits become streets, streets become steps, and steps become seconds spent holding each other, waiting for the other to pull away because it's the last thing you want to do. but you have to. that's the only way to start the count over. and that sucks. because you dont get to know how long it's going to be until way later. but just the same, you don't know when the next countdown will be the last one. it's the most terrifying assurance there is.

i feel blessed that me, her, and all my partners exist in the same time, in a reality where we have the ability to connect to each other despite how unlikely the chances of us ever meeting were. i feel lucky to live in a world where, one day, a silly string of text like @nudist-squid can be the first name i know someone who will eventually become one of the most important people in my life by.

but at the same time, im heartbroken and devastated. it feels cruel that we met because of certain circumstances, and yet we exist so far away for those same reasons. and closing that gap takes so much from both of us, and there's no promise we can ever close it for good. but if I can help it, I certainly want to try.

this summer has been dogshit. ive been through so much unnecessary bullshit, and when things have been looking to improve, something else happens. but this was the most wonderful bookend to a dismal season i could have asked for.

thanks for reading.

[youngster-monster]

i wish i could show you the erm the Category dedicated to my uh. 22 discord wips. but unfortunately i cant send images thru anon and also then you get to see what each individual channel is named and a. none of the titles make sense and b. the titles of some of them make them sound WAY WEIRDER than they actually are because no one save for me and one other person were ever supposed to see the working titles and i dont have any ideas on how to change them so ALAS

im like a zoo animal you get to read off all my facts and i get to stare straight into your soul while not a single thought passes through my brain. i need the world to know about my bad discord wip organization

writing is actually about the full year spent turning into a pile of dust,

all worldbuilding!!!! my oc who started as a kleptomaniac prettyboy is now a god with layers upon layers of lore and i dont know what i did but now hes really way worse than he started and i take great pleasure in describing his antics to friends who werent around to see it happen in actual rp. i shudder to think what would happen if i turned that world into a ttrpg he'd be a freak (TEMPTING THOUGH)

there are and i cannot stress this enough TWENTY-TWO INDIVIDUAL CHANNELS and one of them is the OLD snippets channel - yes, i have two, no i cant explain myself - and everytime i think about sifting through it for writing ideas in moments of desperation i feel as though it will grow hands with which to strangle me with and so i dont touch them. they will rot but its better them than me

i may have to pick up those niche ships again because i imagine it feels VERY rewarding and also then you and the other three (3) people who like that ship can sing kumbayah in a circle or whatever

glad the beastly noises comment was a hit! now if youll excuse me i need to sit down at my computer and listen to monkey noises 10 hours while doing bad animal impressions and brainstorming a wip i wont ever complete ,

Weird titles are one of the joys of writing. I wish I could be one of these writers that give wacky names to their wips but unfortunately in this I am terminally boring lmao if it's not descriptive I am Never finding it again

Grabbing you like Steve Irwin showing off a baby alligator to zoo goers. And here is where the Bad Organization Practice goes :) isn't it neat 😌

Give in to the siren's call of ttrpg-ization.....

With rarepairs you either create bonds of steel with the two other miserable fuckers writing with you or a rivalry that gets imprinted into your bloodline. "He would Not fucking say that" but it's the only interpretation you get that isn't your (obviously more correct) own

(statistically I am this for at least one other kaellidan fan. Probably more. I often joke that whoever dislikes my writing is gonna be really mad about how much of me there is in that tag lmao)

[maplesorbet]

reaaalllyy hoping i finish all these sketches/doodles some day soon because i am very satisfied with them and want to see them complete lmmaaoo — we will see though because art fight is once again taking over my life and all my energy. but for now, you get sneak peeks of my most perfect imperfections (aka, they don’t look quite right but i’m still happy i got them started).

CW: venting/emotional (?)

ANYYYWWAAYYY — my quick tumblr diary vent entry is just gonna be me appreciating my best friend and picking apart my brain✌️🥹.

for the most part, life is kind of kicking my ass and everyday feels suffocating, but for once in my life, i genuinely have someone who i can comfortably open up to. it’s a weird feeling? being vulnerable in a healthy way? in a way, i think parts of my brain is trying to reject the idea that i can fully trust and ask for support from someone. i’m really not that sure why my walls have come down like this so quickly in a sense?? but i’m really grateful for each and every day that i am able to spend with them. there is nothing i could do to ever repay how much they’ve done for me. this has been the most growth i feel within my own character and emotional well-being. though of course there are many important people in my life, i’ve learned so much from just one person about so many different things and so many ways to think positively, accept myself, and to look for the things in life that may be fulfilling. i’m relearning to take care of myself more and to try to prioritize my well being. though life-long habits will die hard, the comfort of knowing someone cares enough to be patient while im growing hits me like a brick. as a chronic cry baby, i’m relearning that it’s okay to cry in front of people and that being sensitive doesn’t mean i’m weak.

the other day, i told my best friend my deepest secret after an especially rough night. i cried so fucking much that day. it’s terrifying to tell someone something you’ve been closely guarding almost all your life. it’s terrifying when the last person you showed vulnerability to in the same way told you to just find a way to deal with it and to never talk about your struggles again. it’s terrifying to give your all to people who tell you that you mean so much to them only to realize too late that you don’t actually mean as much to them. in every sense of my being, this fear still racks at my brain, though i think i’ve accepted it as my fate, my role and purpose. now, though it feels like a weight lifted from my heart, i find it terrifying to feel like i matter to someone just as much as they to me.

the intrusive thoughts in my mind warn me that i’m making mistakes. they tell me that i should run away, that i should put back up the fucking walls because they’ll keep me safe. but some part of me wants to trust again. i want to keep indulging in being able to rely on someone who doesn’t judge my very being. the guilt eats me alive each time but they reassure me that no boundaries are being crossed. though, even if i’m blinded by hopefulness and my experiences run parallel to that of the past, i will never resent everything i’ve learned and the validity i received.

as fucked up as i am of a human being, i truly hope in this world that everyone is able to find someone for them even half as lovely and genuine as my best friend. even if just for a little bit, i want to keep trusting in his words.

(if you happened to have read through the entirety of my vague-ass brain dump, thank you very much 🤭<3 i dont think much of it makes sense as it is past three am and i have had so very little sleep the last couple if weeks, but i wanted this here for myself hehehe — hopefully it had some sort of entertainment factor if you were bored enough to read it !! anyways, now that i’ve gotten this off my chest, time to try to fix my sleep schedule once more.)

[hangezoeenthusiast]

The Little Things

gn!reader

pronouns: they/them

person: wilbur soot

summary: there was three things that you and wilbur did together

word count: 848

you were obviously dating wilbur soot, living in the same house as him, in the same bed, all that lovey dovey shit, so there was little things that you and he did together

1. share stuff(mostly clothing) with wilbur

like shirts and sweaters, oh how he loved to see you in his stuff

you looked SO GOOD, LIKE DAMN YOU GO BESTIE

he would feel so shy, seeing you in his sweater that was too big for you

"love, you should wear my stuff more often, it looks great on you."

he secretly simps for you when you walk in the room

oh how good they look, he would think EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. you would even be in a close proximity of him (im listening to wilbur's music rn while making this, pog)

his mind constantly would be, y/n, y/n, y/n, what are they doing, i wanna cuddle with them, where are they, etc.

you would get flustered when he would complement you on your fit

"ohh, you look absolutely in those pants."

"omg, you look great in that sweater."

"why don't you wear that more, your beauty has enhanced even more." (this might sound like shit, but he means you are already beautiful before and after, 10/10 before and 10/10 after)

with him, he would wear your beanies and other stuff that you crocheted, but it would be mostly beanies

like you would make them for him CONSTANTLY since he's such a huge fucking simp for you

"what'cha making love, oh a beanie?" he would secretly scream in his head YES, YES, YES, YES

"love, when are you going to finish the beanie, i wanna show chat," he would pout

"can you wait like 5 more minutes, i'm almost done."

"thanks darling." he would leave, leaving a peck on your cheek

when you finished, you went back to him, sneaked behind him, and put the beanie on his head

"oh shit, you scared me love, did you finish?"

you would nod, and then he would take off the beanie and put it close to the camera

"you see chat, they are SOO good at crocheting."

chat would definitely spam y/n pog

you would make other stuff, like sweaters, winter hats, scarfs, mittens, etc.

he would flaunt them out in public SO MUCH it gives headaches

he would do anything to give you the attention you deserve

you get the idea

2. cooking

cooking with wilbur was REALLY CHAOTIC

like, he couldn't cook a goddamn thing in his life except frozen pizzas, AND THAT DOESN'T EVEN COUNT AS COOKING

so you being the awesome chef you were ;), you obviously had to help your poor boyfriend with cooking

"wilbur, that's salt, not sugar."

"wilby, noo, not 405 degrees, 375 degrees."

he would be so clueless you would probably have to guide him with everything

but when you both make it together, it tastes DELICIOUS

LIKE DAMN, IT WAS A WHOLE COOKED MEAL COURSE (like you ;), jk, don't wanna make you uncomfy)

because of your wonderful cooking skills, it kinda passed onto wilbur

so in the morning, he would make you your favorite meal

"thanks wilby, you're finally catching on."

3. music

and the last thing you would share would be music

you both have your own playlist that you share, filled with his music, one direction, yungblud, halsey, and others (i dont know why, but im seriously addicted to mysoginistic songs, like it brings the BOY out of me that i don't want to unleash, like for example everywhere i go by hollywood undead and she's so nice by pink guy, also my axe by insane clown posse)

you would also have a romantic playlist for dancing

*casually plays as the world caves in by matt maltese*(but seriously, it's a great song, i suggest you listen to it)

music would even go onto him trying to teach you how to play internet ruined me

"it's not that key, it's THAT key."

"y/n WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU ARE BUTCHERING MY SONG."

"sorry wilby 😣 "

he would apologize so much after you said sorry, hugging you and shit, thinking that you were actually sad (TOO BAD BITCH, I AIN'T NO SYMPATHETIC /j)

hahahah, also prepare for him to pop quiz you on random stuff that is significant in your relationship, yaknow, to make sure you love him, JK JK, he's just a bored, lonely boiii

"y/n what was the day we met?""ummm, i believe may 7?""NOO YOU GOT IT WRONG"

you would run away from him, knowing that he becomes full on psycho /j

"COME BACK HERE Y/N, I WANNA GIVE YOU A PRESENT."

so ending that on a crazy note, you do sincererly love wilbur and he with you

you would go miles and miles to be with him

i hate how sappy i got there, but i gotta feed the mcyt/dream smp fans with some fluff, yaknow, to even out the angst and smut/nsfw honestly, i need someone who would be like this

[poppywrites41]

Captive Love Chapter 1

Prince!Yoongi x Maid!Reader

AN: this MIGHT turn into an ot7 fic. honestly depends on my mood, i dont rlly have a plan for this so it might not even be completed itself. Here is the first chapter for it. lmk what y’all think!!

If y’all like it, i will keep posting, but I will be busy until May with university assignments.

WARNING: Implied death, cursing, sexual references. There will be more smut and violence to come in future chapters. If anyone is triggered by smut, non-con, death or violence, DO NOT INTERACT ANY FURTHER IN THIS BOOK.

The man watched with cold eyes as the young female body fell from his hold to the floor with a thud. He kneeled down and places his hand on her neck to check for a pulse. When he found no signs of life, he sighed in annoyance, “Fuck...I didn’t even get to try her out yet.” What was her name again? He didn’t know. Well, he didn’t really care. If he is feeling frustrated, there is usually one in his vicinity doing her chores where he can just grab them and do as he pleases. They don’t fight and he likes that, but it has started to get boring. This girl was different. She was probably new and didn’t know what to do, so she had a tiny bit of fight to her. But, she apparently didn’t know how to clean his desk properly, so she got herself a little too hard of a squeeze to the neck.

The prince huffed and went down the hall to let the guards know to remove the body that was in his chambers. They immediately took action, rushing with haste to remove the inconvenience from their majesty’s room. The man walked into the banquet hall where his parents and 6 brothers were eating their dinner.

“Yoongi my daring!” his mother called him over to her, taking his hand, “you must try the elk! Jungkook killed it today and it’s the biggest one anyone has ever shot! It is absolutely delicious!” Yoongi looked over at his youngest brother who had two servant girls on either side of him, begging for his attention. It annoyed Yoongi that Jungkook could just bat an eyelash and would have 5 women at his feet ready to suck his cock. Why the fuck was he so popular? “Nice kill.” he said to the youngest as he sat down next to his second younger brother, Namjoon. Namjoon was one of the brothers he tolerated well. He was a smart man and handsome at that. If he had been born first, he would have been a good king. He also had good luck when it came to fucking.

“Mother,” Yoongi said as he was served a piece of elk with roasted vegetables, “I need a new bedchamber maid.” His mother sighed, “Did you dispose of another one already?! Didn’t she just start last week? Yoongi, this is the 4th one in the past month and a half!” “She couldn’t do her job properly. I did what I had to.” The second eldest prince huffed.

“Mother,” Jimin, the third youngest spoke up, “where are you finding these women? What’s their status?” “I think this last batch came from Hearthfield. A few of the girls were daughters of the noblemen whom we paid handsomely for.” she recalled. Jimin laughed, “That’s your problem! You’ve been getting girls who don’t do that stuff. You need to go to Seaport to find the best girls. That’s were I get my bedchamber maids from. They know how to work, and they know how to properly serve a man.” The queen smiled warmly at her third youngest, “Thank you Jimin. Yoongi, I will send out the guards to Seaport to find more women to work at the castle. You may come down to the courtyard and inspect them. Though you may not pick yet, for they need to be trained.” “Thank you mother,” Yoongi said as he dug into his meal.

“Y/N!” an older male voice called to the girl staring at the sea, “Go help your brother with the crab traps. Remember, females with eggs-“ “get thrown back, males as big as the palm can stay. Got it!” the young girl finished for him, jogging along the dirt path to their dock.

Y/N and her family are fishermen. Well, her stepfather and stepbrother are. Her mother passed away 3 years ago when she was 18 and she never really could recall her own father. Her stepfather wasn’t a bad person. He treated her like a human being, but there was always a wall that she felt he put up around himself. She and her stepbrother tolerated each other when it came to working. He wasn’t the worst person in the world, but he always made it known that he was superior to her. Sometimes she felt like she didn’t belong in her own home, but she enjoys working by the sea. She walked onto the dock where her stepbrother was already going through one of their crab traps. “Hey,” he said, not looking up at her, “you know what to do. Better go fast so we make it back before dark.” Y/N nodded and went to the next crab trap, opening it up and sorting their catch. The sun had begun to set when they finished. Y/N and her stepbrother loaded the wagon with buckets of crab. Her brother got on and started the horse towards the village where the best crabs will be picked to be taken to the royal family. “You go on back. I’ll take them.” her stepbrother said. She nodded and began walking back home. Y/N never thought much of the royal family other than being jealous that they get the best of what they caught. She sometimes wonders what they are like. As she walks back, she closes her eyes and feels the sea wind on her face. She can practically taste the salt in the wind. She’s happy here. She doesn’t need to worry about some royal family. Her life is good.

When Y/N was finally able to spot her home, she saw a group of men in armor with horses in front of her home, conversing with her step dad. She thinks nothing of it and continues her walk. She then notices the head guard hand over a sack of what looked like money to her stepfather. Y/N got excited thinking that maybe the royals were paying their subjects extra money for their good food and ran toward her stepfather. When she arrived, all of the men looked at her. “Is this her?” the guard asked her stepfather. “Yes sir,” he replied, “she does not have much to pack that she would really need there, so she is ready to go whenever.” Y/N looked at her stepfather in confusion, “Where am I going? What do I need to get?” Before he could answer, the guard spoke, “The king and queen sent us out to find young women to serve them in the castle. We seem to have had a drop in servants recently and are paying families to hand over their daughters.” “But you surly must have enough!” she said, sending a pleading look to her father, “we are happy here! I wouldn’t be much help! I only know how to fish!” “Y/N!” her stepfather’s voice increased, “You must go. We have barely had enough money to feed three mouths since your mother died. She would have agreed to this.” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her family was giving her up? After all she had done for them? Tears began to well up in her eyes. The guard was the next to speak, “I will give you three minutes. Grab what you can carry, come back out and get into the wagon. We leave for the castle.” Y/N barley nodded and slowly walked into her home to her room. She got a small crossbody satchel and put her small stuffed bear her mom made her in it, her favorite shell and her notebook. She found her mom’s necklace and put it on. It was a simple necklace; a silver pendant that had the words “my love for you is as great as the sea” etched into it. When she came out, her brother had just returned. She looked at him and he avoided her gaze which broke her heart. “Come girl,” the captain said, “We haven’t got all day. We must return this evening.” Y/N nodded and followed his horse to the wagon. When she hopped on, there were only 6 other women. They were very pretty so she felt left out. Granted, Y/N didn’t really have the luxury of having a mirror so she never really knew if she was pretty, not that she cared anyways. She looked back at her home as it slowly disappeared from view, already missing her life on the sea. After what seemed to be a few hours, the group arrived at the gate of a great stone castle. Y/N thought the castle came straight from a fairy tale book.

The wagon was brought into the courtyard where there was an older woman waiting. The girls were lined up in front of her. She walked down the line of young girls, inspecting them. She sighed and turned around to face them all. “Welcome, ladies, to the castle of Bangtan. My name is Lilith and I am your head maid. You all have been chosen to be servants of the royal family. These duties include cleaning the interior of castle, serving food to the royal family at meals or guests during balls, doing their laundry or fetching anything they ask for. There are a few rules you MUST follow; NEVER look a royal in the eye unless told to by one, NEVER speak informally to a royal, only speak when spoken to and NEVER refuse service to a royal. Do what you are told and life will be easy. Now, your training will begin at 7 AM, I will take you to your quarters. I will show you where to meet me in the morning. Come along and do not fall behind.” The girls looked at each other in confusion as they followed the head maid into the castle. Y/N felt someone staring at her but when she looked back, she saw nothing. She quickly followed the group into the doors so that she won’t be left behind.

“So my darling,” the queen said to her second oldest son, “what do you think?” Yoongi huffed as he watched the girl with h/c hair rush to catch up to the group. “She looks like work,” the queen sighed, “hopefully she will last longer than the one who was disposed of three days after arriving.” Yoongi on the other hand was intrigued by the young girl. He couldn’t get a good look at her face, but her posture was different from the other girls. They were making themselves small while she stood tall. She seemed strong, like she had some fight in her. Yoongi is intrigued by that. The queen could see the wheels turning in his head, “Has one already caught your attention my dear?” “There is one that is particularly interesting,” he said folding his arms, “but we will have to see.” “Do not mess with them immediately,” the queen warned, “they need to train and get used to their new environment. Give them a week.” With that she pressed a kiss to his cheek and walked back inside. Yoongi went back to his room and lay down on his bed. He couldn’t get that h/c out of his head. He knew he was not supposed to interact with the new servants until they are properly trained, but what’s training without an actual royal? A smirk played on the prince’s lips as he thought about the next day until he fell asleep.

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

Hello!

Maybe some la sqadra headcanons with s/o, who is super fixed on pets? Like, they want to adopt every animal from the shelter, and cry every time they see a abandoned pet on the street. S/o just loves pets so so much that they would do everything to have more

Ofc it's just a proposition, bye bye!❤

AW I LOVE THIS

la squadra with a partner who loves animals 😻

risotto ✂️

he gets it. he has a soft spot for small cute things

he's very fond of how doting u are to every creature but he'll keep you in check, gently pull you away from a passing animal shelter and the like. pets take commitment and u both have very demanding jobs as is

he will help u set out bowls of water for all the strays and little creatures tho

if u bring home a lost pet he'll want you to bring it to the shelter and let the people there find its owner but you count as small cute things he's soft for (because everyone is small compared to risotto). give him puppy eyes for long enough and he'll give you a few days to find the owner yourself but it can't interfere with work and you're completely responsible for it

you'll probably be able to sway him on taking in ONE (1) stray cat if it has the right temperament, quiet and won't interfere and more on the independent side. there are a lot of strays in the neighbourhood as is, he figures having a cat in the house won't be much more of a stretch than you looking after the cats outside

he reasons that for himself too because he loves cats. he'll let it sleep on his chest and he WILL take it for walks on a lil kitty harness do NOT test him, do NOT fuck with this guy while he's walking his cat

he also thinks tarantulas, scorpions, and reptiles are cool (reptiles would love him he's so warm!!!) but maintaining a terrarium is a lot of work

prosciutto 🚬

no. he will answer firmly, no. you both know how busy you are

he tries to reason with you every time you cry over a stray: you can't adopt them all, you know it would be a disservice to the animal to take on that responsibility only to find you can't balance it, i know it's sad but you're only one person with a very difficult job you can't overhaul the shelter system overnight. he'd try to help you toughen up for your own sake, not that u have to love animals any less but he doesn't want u burning out emotionally and he doesn't like seeing u cry either

if u bring home a lost pet, he will also insist you take it to the shelter. if u have a staredown about it (the shelters are so busy already and what if they can't find its person!!!!), it will be a LONG staredown. but if u promise to take full responsibility and find the owners asap he will relent BUT DONT MAKE IT A HABIT. if he has spare time he May help you with finding the owners, mostly to speed things up but it does also make u happy

might also accept one (1) cat with the right temperament but it's YOUR responsibility. if you're prepared to take on the commitment urself, he can coexist with a chill cat pretty easily. he will give it pets if it curls around his legs. if it wants to curl up in his lap, as long as he's not busy, well..... he would allow it

(the cat definitely grows on him)

he supposes he wouldn't mind fishes or a reptile but again, your responsibility

pesci 🎣

he thinks ur so sweet and he has a very hard time saying no to you

as long as ur managing your time and energy right he doesn't think it's so bad!!!! will defend you if the others try to tease you or get on your case

he will help. he might not mesh well with very rambunctious and outgoing animals tho. he may get nervous about caring for them right (is this food good for them? how do i hold them? what if they get sick?) but if u show him how and reassure him and he gets reassurance and affection from the critter too he'll probably cry

he would, of course, love a fish tank. he gets really into arranging and rearranging the setup and caring for ur fishies. he could watch them for hours and also defends them against people who say they're boring (THEY HAVE PERSONALITY)

he would say no to arachnids or other bugs and no to reptiles and amphibians (cause they eat bugs)

formaggio 🧀

HES RIGHT THERE WITH U

cats are his favorite even if he is not cats' favorite. he looks after the strays with you and will comfort you when you cry about them

if you find a lost pet he'll help you hide it (probably make it smaller) while you team up to secretly care for it and find the owners

'formaggio what the hell is that sound coming from ur room' 'oh i just fell asleep with the tv on' '..... and it's still making the same sounds 3 hours later?' 'ITS A LONG MOVIE'

HE WOULD LOVE TO RAISE A CAT WITH U. two cats would be great too but you do both have busy jobs. cool with rodents too, would be cool with a dog or parrot in theory but in practice they take a lot of work and require a lot of social time and y'all are pretty busy being assassins.

illuso ✨

he will gently tease you for being a softie (the keyword here being gently because he loves u) but he's honestly a little endeared

he's trying to befriend the flock of crows around base so they'll be his little minions so u spend time together leaving them snack offerings

for trying to actually get a pet tho? ur on ur own

if you find a lost pet he may offer to hide it in the mirror world while u search for the owner BUT he will require payment. whether that is a kiss or you do his chores for a week. and he doesn't really do well with animals cause he just doesn't know what to do with them but he will do his best to help care for them in the mirror world if u can't be there because it's for u (and contrary to popular belief he's not completely heartless)

no. no strays in the house. i know it's cute and sad but it's all dirty, you don't know where it's been. but then you start tearing up and he's like ah fuck okay FINE tidy it up and bring it to the shelter but im outtie

he does find cats and snakes very graceful tho and may be open to having one as long as it's a good fit personality and needs wise and it's mostly your responsibility

melone 🍈

he finds it adorable. he loves how sweet u are

he loves hearing about his partner's interests so he will talk about cool biological and developmental animal facts and how u can learn a lot about human behaviour by studying the nature around us

doesn't see the harm in helping out any strays or lost creatures u may find and is totally down to help

he will remind u that pets are a lot of responsibility tho!!! if u want one u have to figure out how to balance other responsibilities with it but he's cool with co-parenting

he thinks reptiles and amphibians are really fucking cool. he'd probably be interested in a bird too cause he has the patience and creativity for them but ur also both busy people. he'd LOVE having sweet rat babies b/c they are so smart!!!

ghiaccio ❄️

he LOVES everything cute and soft and fluffy so he understands but also you can't rescue every stray or adopt the whole shelter we are assassins,

you befriend the neighbourhood cats together and build squirrel feeders. sometimes you'll go to the park just to cry about how cute all the dogs are

if you find a lost pet he may try to be like ugh.... do we have time for this....... but he caves VERY fast. will whisper-yell at anyone who tries to give you grief for it because he doesn't want to startle the poor creature. will help you find its owner if it'll get the others off ur back

he would very much want to raise cute animals with u. you have work to think about but if u had a rather independent cat that would work. he'd also love rats and hamsters

starts dreaming of retiring with u one day so u can have a bunny and a yappy little pomeranian he can wear matching sweaters with

sorbet and gelato 🔪🍦

they think ur utterly adorable. ur their sweet beloved third and they dote on you and would love to be involved in/support ur passions

they will help u look after the strays and may point out like someone's cute dog that they're walking just to see ur eyes light up and hear u gush

they Will smuggle lost pets inside the base for you and they Will help you find the owner they don't care about getting in trouble with risotto they're in trouble all the time anyway it's their jobs

would very much like to be pet parents with u and it might honestly be easier to manage between the three of you

they'd do very well with rats, they could handle high energy pets like ferrets, parrots, and dogs, but y'know u do all have work and stuff. they are determined to find the right fit for all of u b/c ur so cute they can't NOT indulge u

maybe one day the three of u can retire on a heap of money and adopt an older cockatoo and harness train it so u can all go on adventures together, that's the dream!!!!

[corpsette]

May I request a sykkuno x fem!reader fic where she's this really cute and shy yet cheerful girly girl and how they would match. Like maybe they first "meet" through a stream that Sean or Felix invites them on and sykkuno's being his adorable self and finds her really pretty, and it's all fluff and blushy. 💖

YES, YES, YES!!! I LOVE THISSSS! I hope you enjoy 💞

𝑩𝑰𝑮 𝑩𝑹𝑨𝑰𝑵

pairing → sykkuno x fem! reader

words → 1.2k

the day was going by slowly, and it had been rather boring so far. you had spent all day watching other people stream, and, to be honest, you didnt feel like streaming today...

until sean dmed you asking if you wanted to fill in for someone and play among us with some very big creators.

of course you jumped on the opportunity! who wouldnt? it would benefit both your social life and your real life. besides, a few more friends wouldnt hurt.

"yeah, she should be joining any minute now!" you joined the voice chat and heard sean talking about you. "be nice, please! shes a very good friend of mine!!"

"no need to tell me twice!" you heard a sykkuno say. you had been a fan of sykkuno for a long time, but you didnt have the guts to message him. "oh, is that her in the vc?"

"y-yeah! hello everyone!" you said, smiling shyly as everyone tried to say hello at the same time. "I'm Y/N..."

"that's a lovely name, Y/N!" sykkuno said, making you blush and making your chat spam 'uwu.' "I've watched a lot of your streams, I'm a big fan!"

"thank you, sykkuno! I'm a big fan of you too!" and that was the complete truth. sykkuno was a big role model for you, he was one of the reasons you started streaming.

"okay, enough flirting, sykkuno!" rae butted in, making you both laugh awkwardly. everyone went around introducing themselves, and toast started the game.

the word 'crewmate' flashed over your screen. you quickly said goodbye to chat and connected to the proximity chat modules.

it took you a while to connect, though, so when you came back to the game you found sykkuno standing guard and making sure you didnt get killed.

"sykkuno?" you asked shyly, adjusting your headset ever so slightly. "is my mic working?"

"it's working! I can hear you!" sykkuno said, wiggling his character back and forth.

"oh, that's good!" you said. it was a little awkward, you had not the slightest clue on how to keep a conversation going.

"yeah! so, how would you like a body guard?" sykkuno asked, at this point you were both blushing and smiling like dorks.

you were big fans of eachother and didnt think this moment would ever come, since neither of you had the guts to tweet at eachother, let alone send a direct message.

"y-yeah, I'd like that. thank you!" you replied, but before you could move an inch, a body was reported.

"double kill in-" corpse started, but he was immediately shut up by rae's yelling.

"NONONO, SHHHHH!" she yelled, trying to talk over corpse. "BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, ITS CORPSE. I KNOW YOU'LL PROBABLY SIDE WITH HIM BECAUSE OF HIS VOICE BUT ITS HIM!!"

you giggled quietly as the chaos unfolded and rae and corpse started blaming eachother. at one point you zoned out, only coming back to your senses when sykkuno called out your name.

"Y/N?" he asked, you looked up to see you and sykkuno were the last people who had to vote. "are you there?"

"oh! yes! I'm sorry!" you said, fixing your posture and focusing on your screen.

"who do you think it is, I'll vote with you." sykkuno smiled to himself as you hovered over each person who was being accused.

"I think its corpse..." you said quietly, not voting yet, but sykkuno voted right away.

"I trust you, Y/N!"

"fuck, I should've listened to Y/N." sean said, shaking his head. "small brain plays on my end tonight."

you quickly voted and watched as the voted racked up. 3 votes for corpse, 4 for rae, and 3 dead people. it was obvious that rae, sykkuno, and you voted for corpse, so you already knew who voted who.

"should we 50/50 to be safe?" felix asked, standing at the button and waiting to call it.

"speed run?" corpse asked, laughing slightly as felix started wiggling his among us character, his child dancing behind him.

"SPEED RUN!!" felix said in a deep voice, only for reactor to be called. "SHIT." everyone ran towards reactor, leaving you and sykkuno alone at the button.

"hi again, Y/N." sykkuno said, standing on top of you to protect you. "I know you're crewmate."

"yeah, and I think you're crewmate too..." you said, a bit unsure. "because of the double kill."

sykkuno chuckled and wiggled around. "yeah! and, even if you were the imposter, I'd let you kill me."

"what do you mean-" you stopped talking as the sabotage was fixed and sykkuno called a meeting.

"we're alive!" leslie said, taking a deep breath. "so, we were right with rae?"

"I dont think so..." you said, thinking about all the big brain plays you've seen toast do. "I think its toast and corpse. toast does these kinds of things a lot-"

"WHA? ME? LITTLE OLD ME?" toast practically yelled. "I'd never kill anyone!"

"b-but..." you mumbled, trying to sound confident. "we should at least 50/50 corpse just in case..."

"I'm with Y/N on this one!" sykkuno said in his cheery voice, voting corpse and making corpse gasp.

"sykkuno... are you simping for Y/N instead of me?" corpse faked a sad sounding voice. "I cant beleive it. I actually think its Y/N and sykkuno."

"oh, it's not me and Y/N we were together at spawn when the double kill happened." sykkuno smiled, thinking no one would sus you two after that.

"can anyone confirm that?" toast asked and there was silence all around. "GET EM!"

with that, everyone voted, and sykkuno ended up being voted out because everyone trusted toast...

and that's how you lost the game to corpse and toast. damn, they really were amazing imposters.

"how'd you know it was corpse and toast, Y/N?" ludwig asked, making you try and shy away.

"w-well... I watch all of you guys so I know what kinds of plays you make..." you expected to be laughed at, but instead you got praised.

"that was really big brain, Y/N, sorry I threw that game." felix said, running around the lobby.

"yeah, that was really smart." toast admitted. "I guess I'll have you change my tactics from now on."

"oh... thank you all..." you said, laughing gently. "I have to thank sykkuno, hes the one that kept me alive. so, thank you, sykkuno."

"it's no problem! just trying to make sure we all have fun!"

after the stream, sykkuno added you and discord and you started messaging. you were so lucky to be picked by sean to join the lobby, because that's how you met sykkuno!

sykkuno brought joy to your life, even on days when you weren't feeling like there was any joy in the world.

you cherished these moments with sykkuno, and soon enough, he was more than a friend to you. soon enough, he was your bestfriend.

and maybe even a little more...

[sunlightxing]

Show Me Some Respect

After working for years as a secretary to General Hux aboard the ship, the Finalizer, life could not have been better for you.

That was until Hux informed you that Commander Kylo Ren would be joining you on that ship. Almost immediately, you both resent each other, but after being forced to spend more alone time with him, you begin to wonder, what's so bad about him after all?

Tags on A03 Include:

-Force Choking (Star Wars)

-Fluff and Smut

-Face-Fucking

-Not How the Force is Used

-Armitage Hux Needs a Hug

-Kylo Ren is an asshole

-Y/N Makes Poor Choices

-Praise Kink

-Choking

-Cum-Eating

-Orgasm Delay/Denial

-Sexual Tension

-Sexual Abuse

-Y/N Goes Through A Lot

-Murder

-Possessive Kylo Ren

-Protective Armitage Hux

-Kylo and Hux Get Along Maybe Twice

Chapter 1: Do As He Says

A dread filled morning takes you by suspense when your boss, General Hux, riddles you with nothing but fear for your first encounter with the menacing, Commander Kylo Ren.

A/N: Hello to readers here on tumblr. I’m a little new to posting original work (especially writing) on here so bear with me as I figure it all out! I hope you enjoy my first ever Kylo Ren X Reader story (I dont use y/n cause I don’t like it, my deepest apologies)

Why’d you leave us?

A faint voice called out to you in the distance, so soft and silky, daintily whispering to you. Despite the initial faintness, it slowly began to get closer and closer, its volume ever increasing.

Your eyes fluttered open, but the bright sun blinded them, causing you to seal them shut once more. Eventually, they adjusted to the light, and you opened them to see so many large, and bare trees stretching towards the sky above you. White speckles, snow, were falling all around you, some flakes even landing on your nose.

It felt oddly peaceful, the soft moss around you feeling more comfortable than your own bed. It encased around you, smothering you with warmth and comfort. You kept your eyes shut, and felt yourself seconds from falling asleep on the slightly snow-covered ground. For just a moment, your reopened your eyes, getting one more view of your surrounding before drifting off. But then, to your horror, you saw that the ground next to you was completely covered in blood.

Your eyes widened in fear as you jolted away from your spot on the ground, and pushed yourself up against a nearby tree. The voice in the distance was coming closer towards you, and kept roaring louder and louder. The blood on the ground began to expand, seeping through the moss at an alarming rate. It surrounded the entire area around you, except directly where you were sitting.

As you glanced back up at the sky, the snow, which had now transformed into an icy hail, had begun to take on an even stranger form. In its image, flashes of their faces blew past you, and with it, followed the sound of their screams and cries. Pleading for help, for you to save them. The smell of burning wood wafted into your nostrils, and that voice in the distance was still growing louder. You knew that soon, it would be upon you.

"Wake up, wake up. Please fucking wake up!"

In a jolt of cold sweats, you gasped back to reality, frantically scanning the area around you to make sure it was safe.

"Just a dream, it was just a dream."

Your breath was sporadic, leaving you a panting and anxious mess as you pulled yourself out of bed. Even the smallest movement caused a massive amount of pain surge to through your head.

"I can't take another one of those nightmares." You thought, grabbing the glass of water from your nightstand. You looked over at your clock groggily, and your heart sank upon seeing that you had overslept, giving you little to no time to prepare for the day.

The shower water was freezing when you initially turned it on, per usual. It always felt embarrassing to have to stand outside the door, completely nude, occasionally dangling your finger under the water to see if it had heated up yet.

Over 3 years ago you began working as a secretary to General Hux, and though there was a monstrous amount of glitz and glam thought to come with such a job, it couldn't have been more painfully annoying.

Sure, Hux was somewhat kind and caring towards you, but every other person you pitifully encountered treated you like shit. They'd throw their fits when you wouldn't deliver their papers, shine their boots, tasks they very easily could've done themselves, but simply refused. It wasn't the most difficult job in the world, despite the constant hazing. However, their was a shocking increase in secretaries amongst the First Order. It was most definitely due to the jobs incredible bore-ability, and the fact whoever was placed in such a position would be treated like garbage by everyone they encountered.

You rushed through your shower, only using the time to wash your hair and then yourself. The steam from the hot water had fogged your mirror, which made it hard for you to see your hair when putting it up into two long french braids. You pulled a few strands out in the front, trying to look somewhat nice since your uniform sure didn't help. It was a shapeless, olive green suit, with baggy pants, and thick, heavy boots. The hat that came along with it also wasn't very flattering, but it wasn't like anyone saw you other than your crewmates, and General Hux.

You took another swig from your cup of water as you stared out your glass window and into the infinite galaxy. Your brain decided to alert you of how Hux would be ridiculously pissed off if you were late, as today was one of the days you dreaded most of all since you began working on the Finalizer. The ship would be making its way back to Starkiller base, and you were anything but excited for that.

Several technicians raced by you, heading off to fix some malfunction in the interior of the ship. You always looked at them and wondered if they enjoyed their jobs here, or if, just like you, it was a love-hate relationship.

You entered the control room, staring the other programmers and pilots plugging away at their stations. Though they didn't technically fly the Finalizer, their work was incredibly important. You liked to think yours was important as well, but in reality, it was pointless. Technically, you were Huxs' right hand. As a result, he told you practically anything and everything. So it was more like you were a glorified therapist that followed him around like a lost pet.

"Cadet," a voice said behind you. General Hux was standing at the entrance to the control room, looking a lot more frazzled than usual. "Will you walk with me for a moment?"

You nodded, following closely behind him. Unlike usual, you decided to keep your mouth shut, hoping he would start to explain why he looked so disheveled and unnerved, but he didn't say a word. It was becoming harder to not acknowledge how his body trembled intensely with ever step he took.

"General, if I may ask, is everything alright?" You questioned sweetly, trying not to sound disrespectfully intrusive.

Hux let out a heavy sigh, stopping for a moment to rest against a nearby wall. "I am, not alright," he panted, his voice shaking more than his body was. "When we arrive at Starkiller base, you're going to have to meet The Commander, and I already know you two will not get along."

Your face recoiled as you began to dig into the back of your mind. "Did he mean Commander Ren? That stubborn brute?" You laughed to yourself, while Hux was seconds from engaging in a panic attack.

"This is no laughing matter cadet!" He hollered, his voice nearly cracking at every syllable.

You let out a long sigh. "Hux, I can deal with Kylo Ren. He doesn't scare me at all."

"He should scare you," Hux stated plainly. "My last secretary, before you. He made one simple mistake, and Ren saw to it that the poor boy was eradicated."

Your eyes grew wide with fear, darting away from his gaze so he couldn't see the horror on your face. Hux said it plain as day, if you made so much as one, small mistake, Commander Ren would personally see to it that you were eradicated as well.

Hux groaned. "We both work for the same Supreme Leader, which means I have to work with him." His breathing patterns began to grow more heavy and frantic, and his face flushed with a vibrant red.

You tried to calm him down, as you knew the ship couldn't make the entire flight back without his orders. The two of you had gotten rather close, and you had a lot of respect for him. He'd come in some days looking like he'd seen a ghost, and you wouldn't have been shocked if he had. If the Commander managed to make Hux, your boss, that anxious, you knew this couldn't be good.

After what seemed like seconds, you had arrived at your destination. Just the sight of Starkiller base sent shivers down your spine.

Sure, you'd been their plenty of times, but you never had to willingly interact with the Commander before. In fact, you'd never so much as seen the smallest fragment of his figure. Which would make his reveal all the more terrifying.

As you approached the landing bay, the large metal doors began to open to allow your entrance in. Hux came up behind you, his posture had been perfected, and all expression on his face had been wiped. He looked like a whole new man, and you weren't sure that if you wanted to get on the Commander's good side, you'd have to become a whole new woman.

"The Commander would like us both to meet with him in his quarters before he joins us onboard." Hux said, his voice shaking. You nodded as you took one more look at the hull of the control room, not sure if it was your last.

The pair of you made your way from the control room, to the landing bay. A small craft would take you from the Finalizer to the bay on Starkiller, but you wanted nothing more than just to stay put. There were ways where you could completely avoid the Commander for the entire duration he was here, you hoped. You would just have to hide in a waste bucket every time he came near Hux, and that didn't seem so bad. You groaned, glancing over at Hux as the cruiser landed rather dramatically at the center of the bay.

“Hux, he’s going to hate me, isn’t he?”

He sighed, placing an awkward arm on your shoulder, his attempt at comfort. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

As the pair of you walked down the long hallways of the Starkiller base, it felt as if you were walking to your doom. Which, in reality you probably were. Two stormtroopers had been sent to escort you from the ship to Commander Rens' quarters. They didn't say a word the entire trip to said quarters, despite Hux's several attempts.

Eventually, the four of you arrived at what you presumed to be the Commander's meeting room. The two troopers walked up to the door, placing a loud knock on it to signal their arrival, and then stationed themselves on either side of it. Hux took in a deep breath as he began typing into a small keypad attached to the entrance, and then, the door was open.

"Commander, my apologies on us being later than normal." Hux said, walking through the doorway to the meeting room.

"Oh Gods."

Commander Ren looked like nothing you had expected, though you couldn't really see all of him. He was tall, absolutely massive, his muscles practicality protruding from his sleeves. But his face, you couldn't see so much as an outline of that. Covering it was a thick, solid metal mask, breathing canal and all. He was a true Vader knock off.

He slowly turned around, a feeling of pure rage wafting off of him. For a brief moment, you were certain he was seconds from smashing Huxs' head in, but then he stopped dead in his tracks. His head titled from Huxs' body to your own. Though you couldn't see his facial expression underneath that mask, you new it was one of disgust.

"Who are you?" He asked, gesturing in your direction. You arched your eyebrows in confusion, could he not tell just by simply looking at your uniform?

"No answer?" Commander Ren scoffed.

"I'm his secretary, Commander," you stated, gesturing in Huxs' direction, "didn't you request my presence here? "

He shook his head, placing a hand on the front of that intimidating facial shield. The movement made it look as if he was gaining a headache from your small amount of talking. "This is who you had replace the old one?" Commander Ren hissed, "have you no shame, Hux?"

"Ren, she is very talented in her work and a fantastic secretary," Hux responded, glancing over in your direction. "She has made a fantastic replacement." You smiled, happy to know Hux would still show you some form of kindness around the Commander.

"Hux," Commander Ren stated, "I'll trust your judgment here." He approached Hux slowly, giving him ample time to make your poor General tremble in fear. The Commander stopped inches from his face, his mask nearly touching the tip of Huxs' nose.

"If she makes so much as one mistake, she's gone."

Your face recoiled in disgust. "Well, what the fuck?" You thought to yourself. Did he actually doubt your abilities that much? Or was this all some sort of twisted test of your competence?

The Commander darted his head around, glaring at you in rage. Your body went completely stiff as his masked gaze penetrated your mind. A trill of pain surged through your temples, like something was digging around in your brain for any scrap of information. "That language of hers will not be tolerated either." He spat, looking back at Hux.

"My what? The hell is he talking about? I have yet to swear!" Your brain was spiraling out of control, and that trill of energy still surged throughout your brain.

His ego was disgustingly immense, not to mention he was a delusional idiot. The fool was making up down right lies about you, and to wait gain? He was already addressing Hux in such a disrespectful manner, he didn't need to take it out on you as well. But what even gave him the right to talk down to Hux in such a manner? He wasn't in any better of a position to lead than the General was, not to mention the fact that Hux was a lot easier to deal with, and a lot less moronic.

Commander Ren stood in place, his body shaking violently with rage. Huxs' body was also shaking, but his was out of fear. This was the first time you'd ever seen Hux so threatened by anyone. Usually, he presented such a mass amount of authority and dictation. But here, he was nothing more than a coward.

The Commander gave you an over-the-shoulder glance, and in that moment, you felt time stop. The world around you faded into black. Now, only you and him were in that room, and fear and panic began to rapidly set in. Your body had turned chillingly cold, and air escaped you.

A flash of light hit your eyes, his leather glove reflecting off the overhead chandelier. Before you could get a warning out, he slammed his fist into the wall next to Huxs' head. His curled hand punctured the metal frame, sending hundreds of small electrical sparks flying, leaving bare and broken wires in its wake.

"You teach her to show me some respect, or I will" Commander Ren hissed, his clenched fist now inches from Huxs' face.

Hux folded onto the metal floor, panting uncontrollably as the Commander hovered menacingly above him. You stood gazing at the pair of them, completely motionless, gulping down the fear that was now lodged in your throat. Your pupils shook in horror at what you had just seen, how absolutely horrid your new ship companion was.

Commander Ren glared at you, watching as every inch of your body trembled at his presence. He scoffed, storming out of the room with a prompt slam of the door, the sheer force alone causing you to jump. You looked back at Hux, whose forehead was drenched in sweat, and a slight tremor was visible on his hands. Carefully, as not to frighten him more, you reached down for his hand, an effort to help guide him up off of the floor.

"General..." You pleaded, wrapping your hand around his own as you began to lift. Hux shook you away, pulling himself off of the ground, trying not to show weakness. It was obvious that he was embarrassed of your viewing of his encounter with Commander Ren, but he shouldn't have been. All that quarrel showed was the fact Commander Ren was a prissy little bitch, and tyrant.

Hux dusted off his long coat, and smoothed back his red hair to its original, kept manner. He bit his lip, holding himself back from lashing out against anything the Commander had just done. You hoped he would do it anyway, give you some sort of hint that he too hated Commander Rens guts. But instead, he stared intensely at the door, his eyes becoming bloodshot with rage.

"If you want to make it out of here alive," Hux gulped, "you must to do as he says."

You scoffed in disbelief. "Hux you cannot possibly believe that," you cried. "He isn't as high and mighty as he claims to b-"

Hux slammed his hand over your mouth, his bare fingers tracing over the lining of your lips. His eyes stared painfully into your own, showing so much fear and uncertainty. "I told you to do as he says!" He hollered, the veins in his neck protruding from his already rose colored flesh. Hux removed his hand from over your mouth, and with another brush of his cape, he was gone out the doorway too, much less dramatically than the Commander.

You turned around, looking at the meeting room remorsefully. Your life had just flipped completely upside down, and you know now that you had no say in anything that would happen to it. Hux obviously wasn't going to be any help in standing up against Commander Rens' tyranny, so it looked like you were on your own.

And you hated being on your own.

You walked back to the ship with shane covering your entire body. Every person who passed by you, whether it was a technician or a stormtrooper, seemed to be mocking you. While that wasn't at all the case, Commander Rens' doubt of your capabilities made it seem like everyone else doubted them as well.

As you turned a corner, so flustered and furious you didn't even know what planet you were on, another secretary slammed into you, spilling an incredibly hot and sticky liquid all over your uniform. "Oh my Gods, I am so sorry!" The girl whimpered, reaching for a cloth towel at her side to try and help dry you off.

You clenched your jaw tightly, worried all your rage might come flying out at her. She looked to be so incredibly overworked and stressed, just like you were about to be. You wondered if she had ever dealt with Commander Ren, or maybe her own General was just as terrible as he was, though you doubted that was humanly possible. You hated to admit it as much as the next person, but the treatment of secretaries, especially those that were female, could not have been more horrendous. Every one you had encountered had a horror story, or was currently living through one. Thankfully, your first job was with someone like Hux, a lot more patient and caring than any other. Thoughts crossed your mind of how awful your life would've been if your first job was to Commander Ren. Just the idea alone sent shivers down your spine.

The girl finally finished drying off the excess with a little help from you, but your clothes were soaked with whatever fluid she dumped onto you. Her eyes slowly began to swell up with tears as she stared at your ruined uniform.

"Hey," you said, taking her hand in your own. “There’s no need to cry. I'll go clean it myself, and it'll be good as new, don't worry."

She sniffled, reaching her other hand up to wipe the tears off of her face. Never could you have managed to snap at that girl, because you knew exactly what kind of suffering she was going through, as you had just dealt with the worst of it all. The girl hugged you in gratitude before scurrying back to wherever she came from, getting a replacement for the drink she had dropped. You took in a deep breath as you dreadfully looked down at your tarnished gown. Starkiller base was not somewhere you were familiar with, so finding a washroom was going to be far greater task than it should have been.

For what seemed like hours, you scanned each and every room across the vastness of the ship, hoping to finally find an area for you to clean off your soiled uniform. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched a stormtrooper exit a room with a fully washed, black undergarment, and you knew you had finally found your sought for destination. Rushing into the room, you hoped no one else would be inside, so you could quickly rip off your uniform and wash it without anyone seeing you in nothing but a bra and underwear.

Thankfully, no one was inside the washroom, giving you ample time to strip practically nude, and lock the door behind you as to not allow anyone to barge in.

Staring blankly at the machine that scrubbed and cleansed your attire, the chill of the empty room you sat in was beginning to sting your bare skin, your hair sticking up and goosebumps forming across every inch of it.

The process could not have taken any longer, but finally, it was washed, and ready to be moved to the next machine for drying. Minutes passed by as you sat in the cold and ever darkening room, rubbing up against the warm drying machine periodically as to not die of hypothermia.

"For God's sake, can you just hurry up!" You cried, slamming your foot against the machine, hoping that would throw it into a faster gear.

It did no good, the machine kept carrying on at its slow pace, causing nothing but agony and frustration on your part. You groaned, flopping back into the chair you had been sitting in, only for it to crumble into a hundred tiny pieces as you flopped yourself onto it.

"Mother fucker!" You groaned, lifting yourself off of the cold, metal floor. A bruise was clearly about to form upon your ass after that downfall.

"Language, cadet. That mouth will get you nowhere."

You spun around quickly, leaving your bra-covered breasts completely exposed to the eyes of Commander Ren, who now stood perfectly centered at the entrance of the washroom, the door closed behind him. Your eyes jolted to the lock that was now unfastened on the doorway, yet upon making eye contact, it clicked back into a locked position. Looking down, you noticed Commander Rens' finger was out of place from the rest of his clenched fist, and though at first you had no idea how he managed to weasel his way in here, now you did.

"The force?" You questioned in the back of your mind, watching the pointer finger retreat back to its clenched position.

His head tilted down, obviously showing his gaze had shifted from your eyes, to your almost fully naked body. You covered as much of yourself as you could, feeling completely flustered that so much of you was exposed to his eyes.

"What?" You asked. "Planning on insulting me again? Just get out."

"You're hung up on that?" He questioned, letting a small chuckle escape his throat. "I could have said so much worse."

You rolled your eyes at him, now hoping to make him so angry he would storm out like he did before. "Good for you, Commander. I'm sure you could've."

Silence reigned in the room longer than you would've preferred it to. You had hoped he would make some ridiculous, insulting statement so you could fire back at it, but he was silent.

"Do you mind?" You questioned, tilting your head towards the doorway so he could take the hint to leave.

"The ship was supposed to depart exactly 17 seconds ago," he remarked, keeping his gaze on your chest area, "Hux was going to be sent after you, if I didn't choose to."

You curled your lip sarcastically, letting out a small laugh along with it. "Well thank you so much for that, sir," you said sarcastically, again, gesturing towards the door in hopes that he would leave.

There was a long pause, giving you time to reflect on what he had just said. He would've had no knowledge your uniform had been soiled, tarnished by that poor girls dropped beverage.

So how the fuck did he know you were here?

He stood motionless. The only noise he exuded was the almost asthmatic breathing sounds from his mask. "Finish whatever task this is." Commander Ren instructed, finally moving his gaze away from your body.

He turned to the doorway, giving you a final glance before opening the door, and exiting the room. You stared at the metal frame in disbelief, the fact the Commander had just seen you in arguably your most venerable state was horrifying and embarrassing.

A slight movement on the door caught your attention, as the knob shifted back to its locked position. "Jeez, how kind of him," you scolded, turning back to the dryer that had finally finished its job, of course, right after the Commander had left.

After unlocking the door to the washroom, adorning your freshly cleaned uniform, you sprinted down the halls towards the bay. Thankfully, there wasn't a line of people standing outside the washroom waiting to use it themselves. For if they had seen the Commander in there with you, things would have just gotten so much more complicated.

You marched down the halls, now thinking about how ridiculously awkward your next several months of encounters with the Commander would be, now that your second meeting with him was when you were practically naked.

“Gods. This day cannot get any worse."

[tomorrowsdrama]

2020: A Year in Thirst

In 1985, Gabriel Garcia Marquez gave the world Love in the Time of Cholera.  In 2020 (er, I guess it’s now 2021), I give to you, Thirst in the Time of Covid-19 or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Embrace the Thirst, a brief recap of all the dramas I watched in 2020 and whether such dramas made yours truly parched..  

The list contains dramas that premiered in 2020, but also dramas from previous years.  If I watched it or attempted to watch it in 2020, it’s on the list.  

EDIT: Ok, I’m going to have to do this in multiple parts because apparently I watched more dramas in 2020 than I remembered and talking about them all in one post would just be too long.

This also serves as a sort of greeting to all the people who recently followed me.  I don’t know how or why, but thank you for being interested in my thirst, and also so sorry for everything you have/will witness here!  I started this side blog last December 2019 as a place to dump all my fangirl feels and thirst with unbridled abandon and let’s just say, the thirst REALLY ramped up in 2020 during quarantine and all the political chaos/uncertainty.  The state of the world may be uncertain, but my thirst will always be a comforting constant!  LOL. If you want to thirst or fangirl/boy together, I’m all ears.

Anyway, let’s start with the drama that was partially the inspiration for this list. 

1. The Wolf

Brief Summary: Sweet hot boy raised in the wilderness/by wolves meets sweet beautiful girl and they fall in love.  Shitty evil people do shitty evil things to them to cause a misunderstanding and they are separated for years.  Sweet hot boy is given the “Sexy Bloody Tormented Killer Makeover” TM and turns into a VERY VERY BAD HOT Wolf Man after being tortured/brainwashed by an evil asshole king who “adopted” him.  Bad Hot Wolf Man reunites with sweet beautiful girl but because of third party machinations in the past, he thinks that she betrayed him so he is suuuuuuch an ass to her (while still maintaining hotness).  But even beneath the asshattery (and sexy jerky smirks), he can’t help his love for her and it’s just *chefs kiss*. The angst, the pining, the mutual sacrifice for each other, the torment of wanting to be together but not being able to be together because of external forces/circustances, oh I am getting in a tizzy just thinking about it.  I won’t reveal anymore so as not to spoil the drama, but just know the ending may destroy you.

Is she thirsty? Am I thirsty? AM I THIRSTY?  Oh honey, if you don’t know the answer to that, then you must either be new here or you haven’t been paying attention to any of my posts in the past few weeks.  Look, from the first moment the camera panned to Darren Wang’s very well-defined and tan chest and windswept hair, all semblance of shame and dignity I ever tried to feign on this tumblr was immediately thrown out the window.  The feelings that he inspired within me were purely primal.  My cavewoman ancestor from millennia ago stopped gathering food in the harsh wilderness for a brief second to transmigrate into my body and go “me want big strong man!”

I mean, below is literally our introduction to Wolf Boy.  Am I supposed to just witness this and not feel anything?  The director knew what he/she was doing.  Anybody who worked on the drama who says they didn’t intend to exploit Darren Wang’s assets is a BOLD FACED LIAR. And this isn’t even Wolf boy in his hottest form.

That would be this:

Damn, your girl needs a moment here.  When Wolf Boy turns into Bad Hot Wolf Man, wheeeeewww.  The things that came out of my mouth and the thoughts that popped up into my head.

Examples of shameless fangirl drooling can be found here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/636986055498792960/dangermousie-this-should-be-illegal-i-mean Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637238885944033280/dangermousie-i-am-fucking-dead-the-end-this Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637793196830769152/dangermousie-wolfie-acquired-a-kid-omg Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/635272988321775616/dangermousie-i-dont-know-about-you-guys-but and here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637621638524977152/dangermousie-hnnnnnnnngh-i-am-beginning-to-forget

Honestly, just check out The Wolf tag on @dangermousie​ tumblr and you won’t be disappointed.  Prepare to become obsessed, horny, and heartbroken.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps? Have you ever thirsted so much that you couldn’t separate what reaction was hormonal and what was objective?  Like the guy is so hot to you that when your friends ask you what do you like about him, the first 10 things you can think of are “he’s hot!” and then you try to remind yourself that you’re not a shallow person who actually cares about things other than looks but at the same time you can’t for the life of you think of a non-hot based trait that you like about the guy  Yeah, that’s what happened here so sorry, I can’t give you an objective opinion.  It’s not that there’s nothing objectively good about The Wolf, it’s just that my judgment is too clouded by Darren Wang’s abs and big hands.  But from what I can tell by other people’s posts, even if you didn’t thirst for Darren Wang (Are you made of stone?  But also, can you please teach me your magic so I can go back to being a semi-functional working woman?), The Wolf is still a very enjoyable drama with its own non-Darren Wang related merits.

2. My Beautiful Bride

Brief Summary: A drama about a strait-laced banker who wears a dorky backpack and rides a bicycle everywhere while wearing the dorkiest looking helmet ever and his beautiful bride-to-be whom he is hopelessly devoted to.  This being a kdrama, and an OCN drama at that, things aren’t all what they appear to be.  Yes, you read that right, an OCN. ROMANCE. DRAMA.  Turns out the beautiful bride-to-be has a dangerous past that soon comes back to haunt her and she mysteriously disappears one day from strait-laced banker’s life in the typical kdrama way to protect him.  Part of the reason she leaves him is also because she doesn’t want him to know about her past because she doesn’t think she’s good enough for him.  Little does she know, he knows everything about her past and accepts it all.  The only reason why he doesn’t bring it up is because he knows she doesn’t want him to know about that part of herself and he loves her so much he’s willing to do anything to make her happy.  But also, another thing she doesn’t know is that underneath that boring but perfectly ironed suit, is a finely chiseled, super efficient fighting machine who did his mandatory military service in the special forces.  He is like the terminator meets Liam Neeson’s character in Taken.  He has a very particular set of skills and will stop at nothing to get his bride back.

Is she thirsty?  Please just watch this video and you will have your answer: https://youtu.be/Ut9MhxWadHM

Prior to The Wolf, My Beautiful Bride was probably the most thirst-inducing drama I watched in 2020.

I mean, just look

at this

at all of this

I don’t’ know how Joo Young saw that body and never questioned whether he really was just a banker.  The writers of the drama must be super heterosexual men who are blind because so many of the characters in the drama question why someone as beautiful as Joo Young would ever want to be with someone like the banker. Um..Um...aside from the fact that he is financially well off, treats her well, is loving and respectful of her, and prioritizes her over everything else, JUST LOOK AT HIM.  I was so thirsty for Kim Mu Yeol in this role that I would accidentally tag this drama as My Beautiful Banker sometimes.  The banker was on a relentless one-man mission to take back his bride and turn me on in the process and ooooooh boy was he successful on both fronts.  He is seriously sex on legs every time he beats up a baddie in his quest to find answers about Joo Young’s whereabouts.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps?  I binged the first six episodes of this drama in one afternoon partly because of my thirst, but also partly because it’s a very well made crime-action-gangster drama.  This is an OCN drama so you can expect a competently made production with well choreographed/bloody action scenes and a solid script.

3. Scarlet Heart Ryeo / Moon Lovers

Brief Summary: IU plays Hae Soo, a modern woman who is somehow transported back in time to the Goryeo period.  There, she gets entangled with a group of royal princes.  Her two main love interests are Wang So (played by Lee Jun Ki) and Wang Wook (played by Kang Ha Neul).  The princes vie for the throne and some of them for Hae Soo’s affection.  Lee Jun Ki does what he does best, which is play a sexy tortured deadly man who looks way too good with blood splattered on his face.  Kang Ha Neul is the seemingly kind prince/daddy long legs character who turns out to be not so kind or daddy long leggy.  Hae Soo is...well IU did the best she could with what she was given (which was a hot inconsistent mess).

Is she thirsty? Scarlet Heart Ryeo is like the honeypot of thirst traps.  It’s essentially a reverse harem set up with a prince for everyone.

Like them young and cute?  Then try the 10th prince, Wang Eun.

Want them big, tall, and kinda dumb?  Here’s the 14th prince Wang Jung for ya.

Want an evil bastard with an affinity for guyliner?  Try out 3rd prince Wang Yo.

Tall, slender, and scholarly? 13th prince Baek-ah will fill your needs.

Is a kind/gentle man who will ultimately disappoint you because he doesn’t show up when you need him most more your speed?  Well, let me introduce you to 8th prince, Wang Wook.

Kinda scary but oh so hot and with a ton of baggage?  We’re talking, I overpacked and brought 10 overstuffed large suitcases levels of baggage. 4th prince Wang So is the guy for you.

And if you prefer someone with no personality, presence, or memorable traits, I got a two-for-one deal for you in the crown prince Wang Mu and 9th prince Wang Won.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps?  There is political intrigue, scheming, romance, fluffy hijinks (my least favorite parts of the drama), angst, beautiful costumes, and pretty decent fight scenes.  Scarlet Heart Ryeo is a pretty solid fusion/fantasy sageuk mostly thanks to Lee Jun Ki.  The only person who has ever carried a larger load on his back is Atlas.  I’m not saying all the other actors are horrendous. It’s just very clear that the one elevating the material beyond the inconsistencies/messiness/elementary politics of the script is Lee Jun Ki.  Your enjoyment level of the drama will likely increase if you are a fan of any of the main actors.  

[sunsinrinn]

Do you love her? Part 3

Angst, (some) fluff, language

Bakugo x reader (past), setsuna x bakugo, Kaminari x reader

Word count- 1,756

You look at Denki shock at his sudden boldness unable to speak. Taking your silence as rejection Denki, losing his boldness, begins to stammer,

“I- I shit, I’m sorry I said that I just needed to get that off of my chest. I totally get it if you don’t want to be my friend anymore. Oh crap i messed up. I mean I cant loose you as a friend. I know you’re still getting over Bakugo but I- I should have kept quiet. I just didn’t want to keep this from you but damn i should’ve just lied about what I needed-“

You cut him off, “Denki shut your mouth and let me speak,” He immediately stops rambling and listens, “I like you too. You make me feel complete again. You manage to make me smile even when I don’t feel like smiling. I cant imagine my life without you. I want to have a relationship with you. But if we do this we need to go slow. I know you wont hurt me but I still need time.” As you finish speaking you see his eyes slowly begin to widen along with his smile.

“Oh god- I thought you’re silence meant you didn’t feel the same way oh my god I cant believe it you like me back!” He says excitedly as he wraps his arms around you. You begin to blush and hug him back. When you hug him back he whispers in your ear “I promise I will never break your heart. I will protect it with all my power and make sure you never get hurt.” You smile softly at that and say “I know, and I trust you.”

As you guys hug, outside Bakugo looks like his entire world was shattered. He had not expected you to return Denki’s feelings. In fact he expected you to have closed off your emotions. He knew now he has to try harder to steal you from Denki. He could not allow Kaminari to swoop you in. Bakugo storms away forgetting about apologizing for the moment.

Later in the day, you and Denki are found in the common area really close,laughing at each other’s jokes

“Wow Denki did you finally ask her out?” Uraraka asks jokingly, not knowing it was true.

You look over at him to see him blushing like crazy, “Yeah, my phone charger finally confessed his feelings” You say laughing softly. He looks at you blushing even more.

You Look at him like he hung the stars and Uraraka could see how much you cared for him. “So when are you taking her on a date then, lover boy?”

“I- i we are taking it slow” he manages to say, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“Ah, I see well. I hope you treat her better! Or else me and you will have some problems mister.” His eyes widen at Uraraka while you just smile. “Don’t worry about that Uraraka, I trust him” you say to her but look at him. He looks speechless at you, still not completely believing you are trusting him with your heart and love. “I promise I will protect her and never cause her harm” he finally manages to say. Uraraka just smiles believing him.

In the background, Izuku tells Shoto, “I’m glad they are together, he will really help her heal and I know he won’t hurt her.” Shoto nods before responding, “I am glad he confessed his feelings for her. I was about to do it for him.” Izuku just laughs at his response.

*A little time skip- A couple of months*

Bakugo has spent these last few months avoided the new couple disgusted at your low standard. He likes to think Denki is a rebound, someone who will keep you company until you get bored and want bakugo back. Although he is currently with Setsuna he has been close to breaking things off with her but he never does. He keeps thinking of ways to talk to you, reach out, but you have him blocked and avoid him when you’re alone.

“I will get you back y/n” he says to himself.

For you these past months have been wonderful with Denki you knew he loved you and he showed it to you. He would buy you flowers and your favorite snacks and even go shopping with you. You unconsciously compared your relationship with the one you had with Bakugo. Comparing them made you realize that bakugo never cared. He only cared in the beginning but after he stopped. He never even attempted to get to know you personally. He was only with you because you were head over heals in love with him. He was with you, not because he loved you, but he loved the idea of you being in love with him. Essentially, he only loved you because your love fed his ego.

You were foolish to think he actually cared, but Denki shows you how caring he is. Hell, he isn’t afraid to show you off or to give you affection in public. He wants you to know you are loved and that you deserve the world. He knows you are still healing but he will do everything he can to help you so you’re finally free from Bakugo.

Everyone can see how much he cares and how much he adores you. He worships the ground you walk. They also see that you are visibly happier than with Bakugo. Everyone knows that bakugo hates the relationship and they know that he hates that you can’t even look at him without being disgusted. He has somehow become colder.

Bakugo finally decides that instead of coming up with a plan he is just going to confront you. He decides to do it sooner rather than later so he no longer has to see you in Kaminari’s arms.

Days go by as you continue spending your time with Denki and others. Even now, Kirishima, mina, and Sero are cautious to talk to you. It hurts knowing you lost three friends, now they are just acquaintances. It hurts them too but they know its for the best, just in case bakugo wants to show up while you hang out with them. They are thinking they are sparing you from more pain.

Bakugo believes that full on confronting you is the way to go so he begins to avoid Setsuna. And oh boy, she pitches a fit so he reluctantly continues talking to her.

As you finish getting ready for your date with Kaminari you walk outside to wait for him. As you wait, Bakugo sees you alone and takes his chance to finally talk to you. He begins to walk out and stands behind you.

You sense someone’s presence behind you so you turn around smiling thinking its Denki. Your smile falls as you realize who it is, turning around quickly to avoid looking at him any longer.

“Y/n...” you hear him say softly but choose to ignore him so he continues, “Please y/n, I want to speak with you.” He reaches out to touch your shoulder causing you to flinch from his touch, “Don’t touch me Bakugo” you say coldly. He retracts his hand but continues, “Please, please forgive. You dont realize how much I miss you. How much I regret saying those cruel things to you.” His voice breaking as he speaks. His vulnerability almost, almost, changes your mind about him.

“Bakugo stop. We haven’t been together for months. Can’t you see I’m happier now? Can’t you understand that what you did and said really hurt me? I can’t be with you anymore.”

“Please y/n, please I still love you so much!”

You laugh at that, “You don’t love me. Do you love her?” You ask him that question for the last time.

“I don’t love her! I’m sorry I ever doubted my love for you! Please give me another chance!”

“Bakugo you don’t love me. I know you don’t. If you did, you would have never fallen for Lizard bitch Setsuna. You would have never stuck your tongue down her throat. If you love me like you claim you do, you would have fought harder for me to stay with you, not insult and degrade me and the love I HAD for you.”

He stays silent for a while, but soon speaks up, “I am so sorry for saying those things to you I was just so angry with myself for falling how Setsuna, and because I hated that you accused me of cheating. I want to make it up to you please just let me. I want a future with you by my side! I cant stand to see you happy with someone like Denki”

“You did cheat, bastard! What kind of game are you playing at Bakugo? You don’t want me unless I’m someone else’s. You don’t even know you’re being selfish right now! I am happy now but all you fucking care about is your fucking happiness! Leave me alone for fucks sake, Understand I don’t love you anymore, I love Denki and I am glad to have him in my life. He sees me as an equal and cares for my feelings.” You look back towards the door, where the hell is Denki when you need him? As you think that you seem him come outside hurriedly.

“I’m sorry I’m late- what’s going on?” Denki looks at you and bakugo. He notices your mad and bakugo looks broken.

“What happened?” He asks. You look at him and speak, “Oh nothing bakugo just came her to try and win me back.” He internally panics because deep down he’s afraid you’ll give Bakugo another chance.

“Don’t worry though. I already told him I have someone who not only sees me as an equal but also cares for me. Something he’s never done.” You smile softly at him and with that Denki’s worries are gone. He feels proud of what you said.

“Okay, well lets go y/n, we don’t want to be late for our date” and with that you hold his hand and walk off leaving bakugo behind.

Bakugo watches as the love of his life walks off happily. He knows he won’t love anyone as much as he loves you. He knows he’s going to have to live with the regret of losing someone who cared about him even when he was insufferable. That one question you always asked him will always stay on his mind, haunting him,

“Do you love her?”

The end.

Here is Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

A/N- with that “Do you love her?” comes to an end. I hope the ending is okay? I felt like I may have rushed it but oh well i guess...

What other characters should I write for? Any requests?

Taglist: @tspice283 , @random-fandom-girl-24

[jossambird]

This Soul of Mine Pt 2

Main Incubus Otto x Reader (Incubus Axel and Oscar x Reader in later parts!)

18+ (also in later parts)

(Mentions of Rape but only passing, as Incubus are Male Demons who feed off sex, most of them are NOT kind Swedes.)

PART 3

-

You ran your hands over your hair once more, trying to hide a yawn as you listened to Father James’ sermon.

Fuck was this boring. Of course you had to be shipped to this honky tonk town, and attend mass with your beloved aunt. There was nothing wrong with your aunt of course, you loved her to death, but you would have preferred not to be involved in any of this-

“Oh, what a beautiful passage, don’t you find Y/N?” Your aunt whispered to you, smiling a tired old smile. You loved her.

“Yes, it was very beautiful.” You acquiesced, accepting the hand she put on your knee.

It was only when your aunt stood to go greet Father James did you notice the woman sitting beside you, jumping out of your skin.

Her eyes wrinkled, sharp blue eyes surrounded by black Kohl watching you as she pushed her white hair back.

“Am I that ugly, child? I thought I looked half decent today when I stepped out.” She laughed, elegantly hiding her teeth as she laughed. You had never seen her in your life, eyes taking in as much detail as you could.

“Oh god no, Im so sorry ma’am, you surprised me is all. You look great today.” You said, hoping she wouldn’t mention any of this to your aunt, or possibly even to Father James.

Her gaze was steady and unblinking. It was terrifying, if you could honestly say so. She looked like she was reading your thoughts, or more like, not being able to with how badly she frowned.

“My, I must say, I dont recall ever meeting you here, Miss..?”

“Y/N!” You supplied, shaking the hand she offered-

Her grip on your hand turned harsh, visibly not the strength of a old lady like her-

“My, nothing? Oh what fun. Tell me child, have you met any... beings, as of late, that haven’t gotten out of your head?” She asked quietly, releasing your hand from her crushing grip, patting her dress as if she needed it.

Her words were smooth, but they cut you deep, as if she could-

“Read minds? Yes, you’ve mentioned that already, but that seems to be all.” She whispered, huffing loudly as if she was angry, sitting too close all of a sudden. You had to escape, you had to get out-

“Dear, I think you should sit down and breath. I am not going to harm you, I am only here to... guide you, we shall say.” The old woman continued, smiling as you did as told and sat back beside her, listening as Father James started his sermon again. Your aunt sat at the front, the traitor, unaware of what was happening.

“You smell like him, you know. He imprinted on you, by accident mind you, but still, it is quite dangerous for your kind.” She was smiling so widely that you were sure now that she wasn’t human, eyes brightening a bit more.

“W-what do you mean?” You tried, voice too weak to summon anything other than the whisper that escaped you. It didn’t matter though it seemed, she had heard you perfectly well, brushing back her white curls, pretending to listen to the sermon, nodding.

“Oh darling, the man you met the other night. Tall, equally white hair, most likely drop dead gorgeous?” She suddenly looked 50 years younger as she turned to look at you, red lipstick clashing with her paling white skin.

“He touched you, didn’t he?” It came out from between her lips sounding cold, but her wide fluorescent blue eyes said different, curiosity shining brightly in them. Nothing felt right. You felt like you couldn’t breath, feeling as if nothing of this was real-

“I touched him. I bumped into him and he picked me up.” You shot back, surprising her as you tried to regain a semblance of power, remembering the dazed man’s surprised and kind eyes.

“What an interesting turn of events! I must say, I am impressed. Not only have you made his brothers and the Incubi world turn upside down, your also partly invulnerable to Succubi powers.” She seriously noted, scooting closer as if she could see the answer in your eyes. Something brushed against your ankle, but you ignored it, captivated by her gaze.

Nothing of what she was saying made sense, Incubi? Succubi? Childrens tales, nothing more than a silly tale told by the church to children... right? No, it was surely the Host wafer that your aunt had given you that was rotten and poisoned you. Yeah, that was surely it.

God, if only-

“Honestly, a rotten Host wafer.” She huffed as she turned her gaze away, rolling her eyes.

“Look darling, Incubi are exactly like mortal men; stupid, handsome, and driven by sex.” She looked mentally exhausted all of a sudden, rubbing at her temples, revealing a scar on her forehead in the shape of a round. The elder woman rose gracefully, her eyes back to the now dull blue they had been at the start, combing over your form one last time.

“If you truly wish to summon him, do so through your desire for him, either for protection or for... assistance, in personal matters.. He will most likely find his way to you within the following hour. You will need him just as much as he needs you.” She finished, turning as if to leave, lingering as you watched her.

“What is that saying again? ‘Speak now or forever hold your peace’? Spit it out.”

“I- ma’am, I appreciate all of this advice.. but if I may ask... who are you?” You asked, knowing deep down what the answer was. You had felt it, felt it between your ribs, in your beating heart. Her fluorescent blue eyes and never-ending knowledge of your inner thoughts were far from normal, and so was the cigarette she magicked before your eyes, watching you as if she had just struck gold.

“I am.. The Handler. I am the Succubus Ruler of all Incubi and Succubi.” She walked away from you then, looking confidently forward as she exited the church, lighting the cigarette between the final pews.

-

-

Finally elated to be done with Father James’ sermon, you stepped out of the Church to await your aunt-

“Y/N L/N?” Came the voice of a man, smooth, young but deep, accent reminding you of-

You turned hurriedly in excitement, heart racing until your eyes met with a platinum blond haired man, resembling the man who had occupied your mind ever since. Mild disappointment floored you until the old woman’s words came to mind:

He had imprinted on you, it was dangerous for humans, this was most likely another being of his kind.

“Ouh, that hurts cutie, I can smell the disappointment from here! I simply wanted to come meet my brother’s- Hey!” Said the man, grinning like a cat until you turned and sprinted with all of your might away, away, away.

-

Otto found himself looking down at the box of homemade cookies, cringing at the Church’s name. It shouldn’t be anywhere near your name, defiling such a beautiful name like yours was a crime.

He felt petty, reaching out and dragging a long sharp nail against the sticker, careful to not cross out your own name by accident-

“Your acting ridiculous Otto.” Came Axel’s teasing voice, surprised as he watched Otto jump out of his skin for what seemed to be the 70th time this week. What was going on?

“Are you.. okay, brother? You dont seem to be well.” Axel asked after a beat, knowing he had to confront him about it. For the first time in all of their lives, Otto seemed unfocused, out of it, mind drifting and constantly asking them to repeat themselves. They didn’t mind it much, but something was wrong. It had to be-

“Im sorry Axel. I...I keep feeling this... tug, of sorts.” Otto quietly muttered as he stared down once again at the sticker, entranced. It unnerved Axel for a moment before realizing this was serious, this was important. He walked over to his brother slowly, tail swishing out of anxiousness, feeling entirely out of his depths.

“Otto?” Axel asked softly as his clawed fingers met his brothers skin, receiving no answer for a long moment.

“Go see her, maybe after you do, youll stop feeling it. Maybe shes calling for you.” Axel said after a beat, deciding to comfort him brother instead of further pushing him into despair. Even if nothing would amount from an Incubus pining for a mortal. He smirked as he watched Otto turn to him, disbelief written all over his face.

“You dont understand brother-“ Otto tried before Axel waved his hand, not wanting to listen to the ‘why’.

“No, you’re right, I really dont, but if you really think you are her soulmate, shouldn’t you be going to see her?” Axel asked his brother, smelling his despair turn into agitated excitement. He smirked, watching and listening as Otto ran out of the house.

No matter how Oscar or he felt, and no matter what happened, Axel came to a conclusion as the distinct lingering scent of Otto’s desperate yearning met his nose:

He would support his brother in his ridiculous endeavour to win your favour, no matter what.

Where was Oscar anyways?

[snickiebear]

yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you. 

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them. 

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are. 

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok 

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. 

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn 

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL. 

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A. 

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip. 

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH. 

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about. 

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it. 

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it. 

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay. 

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time. 

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps. 

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing. 

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA  

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.” 

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic. 

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

[misterbitches]

i keep thinking about this and coming to more conclusions like both as an artist and me. 

we always think first about the aggressor and not the victim. so, for example, with history 4 and yong jie what will their relationship look like now given the trauma? if they have no interest in fleshing this dude out and having him just be an annoying clingy little ugly bitch then acknowledge that pain and how it will affect them. it’s so easy for xing si to get over being raped? what about xing si’s relationship with his mother? what about the fracturing this does to the family when there’s an intense violation that was aided and abetted by the mother?

that would be far more fascinating trying to figure out and they could still have them be together if they so desperately need it but they can’t ignore everything. that means the trauma will permeate through every part of your life. it’s hilarious that so many fans say the portrayals are realistic because they are not. these shows do not have the time and many of the writers or producers do not have the care or prowess—or will have to cut things to please the state—to execute this. they expedite the healing process but we are left reeling. 

in film school one of my teachers was always like, “what happens in the world when the film ends?” and this is something to ask. are we approaching it from: a man falls in love with his brother who raped him and the mother encouraged it and the shock and taboo of that or are we approaching it from a man is forced and trapped into a rship and stockholm syndrome and how that plays out. even if they stayed together even so it would give us more reason and understanding and then we see and know the foundation is built on nothing but darkness and may never recover. after this chapter ends  there may be destruction; it’s possible because that’s how it all started.

but after this story ends, in the way it is presented, what will happen? it’s not just entertainment and that doesn’t mean it’s as big of a deal as i think it is even as i write these things. these are just things to keep in mind and things i think the younger viewers absolutely need to see. for themselves like as creative people and enjoying the media they consume and seeing what works and what doesn’t especially when a work serves a purpose. nothing is made for no reason so don’t expect it to be. to me i’m like: why was this made and what could have been better? 

there is NO improvement which is why we run around in the same circles. the way to untangle that is being clear about the message and its faults. the audience can’t be clear about it if the show isn’t doing its job for a team of professional fucking writers trying to entice people by poorly approaching topics and leaving them empty handed. life is not as hollow as these things make it and yet we eat it up hook line and fucking sinker. 

time and time again we see what these things must establish and how far they can push themselves. it isn’t until the material world gets better that we see a turn in the media but time isn’t linear. sometimes things are worse in years, sometimes things are better. these tropes last because they are a direct reflection of life and the failures in society. so of course it’s about the perpetrator and how they can get their prize but not how we can manage these things when there is a clear victim and we pretend like it isnt there under some sense of potential reform. 1. people do not need to be reformed in a story and that isn’t what this needs 2. is that compelling? 3. yes morally grey things exist but this is not morally grey when it is a violation adn that person’s action was not morally grey. there was a victim and he neeeds to be away from that victim. if he is going to stay we need to see the affects of him being there as real things and there is nothing realistic about that. in no fucking world would someone like xing si a grown adult fucking man be able to temper things that quickly as in the show. NONE. that shit lasts forever but we are supposed to see them kiss and be liek “aw wow morally grey” like what about him is morally grey in relation to xing si? specifically. whihc is the personhe will be with forever.

no it’s how do we get ourselves to see him and engage with him. you can engage with him or be enraptured sure but that doesn’t mean anything and it doesn’t mean the writers are even doing anything with it! i’m glad eveyrone can garner there own idk ideas or get what they want out of a work but what about the victims? what about the relationships? what happens when the story ends? what are dinners like? cos their lives don’t stop when it’s not being recorded (as in these worlds we are shown are always going to exist so they continue on even without us seeing it. so the characters don’t have a stop point we just usually see their happy ending and many times with shitty relationships it’s like why are we here now?) at this point it’s comical and it’s boring. 

there’s a film i like with cameron diaz where she falls in love with someone who kidnapped her for a job. there’s no perosnal connection which really helps as well. he did it for a job, doesn’t know her, they fall in love. they get together at the end. that still affects her but it’s also way less psychological trauma then somoene stalking and grooming you and violating you and trapping you by direct action and constant manipulation. there’s no way to turn that around and it’s even worse when you try to with literally no other explanations. like who are these fucking characters and why should we even want them to continue to be here? yong jie could have even been a vehicle to help xing si like idk unpack everything in his brain in a helpful way even through his violation. they chose none of that lmao i could write a better fucking script and im a moron

why should we believe in their love? why should we believe in yong jie? why should we believe in any of these people when they don’t prove shit to us. they just exist. why is that interesting? why do we root for them? that’s certainly not something they even asked themselves cause they sure as shit don’t know. the writing here cannot make up its mind on its own morality and i think the idea of morally grey only works if you have a fucking idea of what you want to do not just throwing shit at a wall. and we feel something for these “morally grey” characters—frankly this term is also a mistake because it’s so much about good/bad and ignores history and peoples lives and what leads to events and it is a super WASP-y concept in its current iteration anyway with a belief that punity is justice when it is not. that is why i say get the fuck away from this dude instead of going to jail. we could see yong jie grow but FUCKING OUTSIDE OF XING SI.

aey from lovely writer is one where im like wow i feel so bad 4 u i think ur gonna like kill urself someone get this messy ass bitch some help. people hate this kid and they totally can! i feel bad for him! dont love him and maybe i wont even want the best for him but rn im like “omg i dont want u 2 die sir.”

i dont feel that way in many other shows. i feel fucking nothing for these men. not yong jie and not even the old guy from modc im just like ok you exist and i’m going to ignore you. there is nothing in my chest lmao. i look at them and feel cold, couldnt be drier, cos it’s stale and boring and trite and nothing new at all. it’s not realisitc and it’s not even entertaining. it’s just...there. 

i mean it’s there with the reminder of “oh man i am not interested in your love story also isn’t your boyfriend like 40 and you’re 17? why do you like each other again? does this kid have parents? Wait, what’s happening? uhhhh am i supposed to like this? where are his parents? what’s gonna happen when he turns 23 and realizes how fucked up that shit is? can we see that?” and before u know it the sex on screen is over so that was just unpleasant all around.

and i cannot give u a single reason for so many couples why they like each other. like literally what on earth is there for the two of these people to be attracted to. at least one is being swayed by power but what’s the other one doing? oh nothing he just sucks? ok got it.

if we don’t approach it from a “how do we get people to like a shitty person or a person who does things that harms others” it continues on like this. questioning questioning questioning the comfortableness and never thinking about what the fuck the victim can do, what the fuck is even going on in their heads. and if they can’t do that then we go back to the question: what is the purpose of it? if the answr is “just because” then you have a failure on your hands and a lot of annoyed people. sorry not sorry