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blommp717 · 2 months ago

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i guess you don’t answer anymore but i’m hoping you at least read this because it’s genuine and i feel like i have nowhere else to post this. i just want someone to hear me. ignore this if it’s too long. i want to thank you for your posts. they are the only writings that have truly resonated with me ever since i discovered the law, neville, states, being, whatever we call this thing. but i’ll be honest i’m giving up today. i discovered the ‘law of attraction’ in 2019 when i was 18 years old. it is now getting to the last quarter of 2024 and i am 23 where i’ve evolved in understanding to where i found ‘nondualism’. i went from law of attraction -> law of assumption & neville goddard -> robotic affirming -> mindset fixing & joe dispensa -> states & edward art -> nondualism. however… i have never manifested a single thing in my life. i used to be filled with anxiety when i said this. fearing these words would cause it to keep going on but i don’t even want to fear anymore. it’s just the truth. your posts taught me that i don’t have to fear my words anymore anyways. i’ve had a dream for a long time. i don’t believe i will ever reach this dream anymore. along with that dream i also just really wanted good for my family and i. you know the basics like financial freedom, happiness, mended relationships. but throughout everything i’ve learned i could never make it work and i’m just done. i guess i will return to living a normal life and just hoping i make it. i hope i find happiness or just.. anything. i’m just letting go of it all because i feel like things shouldn’t be this hard. even going to caleb’s channel and watching his recent ‘your manifestation isn’t taking long, you are’ video…. i’m just… exhausted. i just dont know how to do this and i don’t think i can take life anymore anyways. but yeah i just wanted to say thank you. even though i could never find success, you taught me who I Am. and i’ll forever be grateful for your wisdom even though you’re a bit younger than me. i hope you find continued success and live a happy life. sincerely

THIS IS JUST THE FIRST PART TO THE HUGE POST, PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME

After what felt like months away from tumblr I really dove into self-inquiry fully, and of course still am, and I promised you guys a mega post so here’s the initial information so far. There is more to come.

IM SORRY IF THERE ARE ERRORS IN GRAMMAR OR SMTH I WROTE THIS AT MANY DIFFERENT MOMENTS THROUGHOUT THE DAY!! FEEL FREE TO ASK QUESTIONS, ETC BUT PLS DONT ASK BY RESPONDING TO THIS POST, ITLL CAUSE SO MUCH SPAM ON THE FEED AND MY ASKS PAGE

Hello! Yes I have started looking back into my inbox (THERE ALLOT OF ASKS 😭😭🫶) but I absolutely plan on answering as many as possible, and because your post resonated with how I used to feel, I want to answer yours first.

So to begin with, It makes me so happy to know that what I’ve written has some kind of affect (that being positive). I can’t remember if I told you guys how old I was but I must have cus you seem to know 😭😭, yes I’m 19 we’re very close in age, this moment in life is when allot of us who figure out this stuff lean into it more because we realize how much of a leg up we have if we just “apply” the teachings this early on.

So first what I want to say to you is, no, your not giving up on a dream and neither are you going to live a normal life, I’ll make sure of that, this beautiful world that we step into gives us so much insight on what we inherently are. But I need to remind you and everyone else, this is not some big secret that has to be practiced, it’s a look at what we are and always will be. You have purpose and you deserve to be happy and enjoy a life that’s easy and fulfilling. I apologize in advance because this is going to be a pretty long post!! 🫶🫶

Let’s get rid of the labels and titles we’ve given these understandings as if they are for someone to learn and master. No one masters manifestation, no one will ever master manifestation and I truly don’t care for how many “success stories” they have, it doesn’t hold proving value of what they are (notice how I didn’t say who), we are not who’s, but that’s for later in the post.

The reason I’ve stepped away from the concept of manifesting is because it is inherently lack and separation based. No matter the teaching, they all seem to glorify the idea of getting and achieving which puts great pressure on success stories and all that rubbish. (Not me turning British) 😝😝, okay sorry, so yeah this also goes for nondualism, I don’t associate a title with what I learn, it’s not NonDualism it’s actually just self discovery in disguise of a teaching. But for this exact reason I don’t think to myself “I need to learn NonDualism better”, nononooooo I made this mistake wayyy to much due to the sole fact that I came in with the expectation that this would now teach me the secrets of manifesting. This is kind of the set up to more desire and lack, which is actually the opposite of the self-realization “journey”.

So, when you say you have never manifested anything in your life, I say this with incredible pleasure, that this is impossible, I know I know, before you start thinking to yourself that youve heard this before but I don’t think people go that in depth as to what that even means. So, your life and your problems, are not actually problems.

Self-realization is not the journey for the person to become consciousness, but to understand that you ARE consciousness to begin with. You does no reference a someone, but “ “.

This is going to be, quite a post so PLEASE hang in there. And I just want to add in, this is still not a seperate being trying to understand that it’s connected to conciousness, no, you as conciousness, infinite knowing, are so involved with the content that you appear as, you’ve tricked yourself into thinking that you are just 1 thing of the content. Let me use my first example.

We have given ourselves the greatest interpretation and key to knowing ourself, and that’s dreaming.

Every night, we sleep, HOORRAAYYYY, now let’s get into the details because this is where the magic happens and it clicks.

Take the moment before a dream appears, recognize that when the eyes are closed there’s this presence. Not the darkness, the presence. Something, but not a thing.

Stay here and forget the rest of the world exists for a moment. Now there is only this presence, it’s knowing, it’s being right? Now there’s no actual material but regardless, it is, something. This isn’t something out of this world it’s literally, you. From this, knowing or no-thingness, comes expressions, absolutely infinite potential, this is registered as a dream, but, before the dream in any way can be experienced, there always has to be some type of interpreter/lens, this comes in the form a person or better yet, senses. Of course, there’s nothing to the senses or the person but whatever it’s formulated from, which was that presence/knowing. The activity of this infinite potential that is the knowing, (you asleep) appears, only with the help of a pov/sight.

Nonetheless, it plays out, it plays stories of absolutely anything, for no reason at all, and as it does, we get lost to it, it starts to become real, and without even realizing it, it’s no longer a dream but something we’re experiencing, now you are the character in the dream and you naturally play out the dialogue and storyline and explore the fields, magic towers, and laugh and dance and make friends, and then you wake up.

When you wake up, you recognize “oh, nothing was actually happening”, now of course, when your the person in the dream it is very real, but even then, is it? Knowing what you know, there wasn’t actually a place with dialogue, no character of its own experience or life, no actual forests or fields and magic, no one actually laughing and dancing or friends, but simply the appearance of that. The illusion.

And it’s not that it’s only a formulation of you when you realize it is, but it always is, the dream doesn’t only become an illusion or “fake” when you wake up, it’s naturally just fake, REGARDLESS of how it seems to be. And regardless we sleep every night knowing that we’ll forget it’s a dream.

So I think you can see where I’m headed with this, I’m going to use the example Rupert Spira uses but twist it a bit.

You go to sleep in Australia and dream yourself in the streets of Paris, and you take on the identity of John, you don’t actually become John and experience the streets of Paris.

Now, John drinks coffee and he feels the sunlight warm his skin, sees the greenery, feels the wind, all of it. But despite the way it all seems the sunlight, the sensations that John has, is not actually real, and neither is John. John isn’t actually feeling anything, he doesn’t exist and there is no Paris being traveled. And it’s not John that realizes/awakens to the understanding that he’s fake and this is all a dream, it’s you, asleep in Australia that realizes it as you modulate/formulate as the streets of Paris, the coffee, and the greenery, and John, understand?

The activity of that presence, if you recall when we talked about closing your eyes, formulated as something that seemed so real, and that doesn’t give any reality to the dream itself, because there is no separating the knowing from the content known. Without the “space” for it to appear or form from, how on earth would there be the content? A bigger step forward is to realize that there isn’t even an actual dream occurring but it’s all the self knowing presence of, well, knowing. I want to add something very important before moving on.

Knowing does not happen for the purpose of pleasure, we naturally deconstruct false ideas like this as we go, but something you MUST understand about the nature of existence is, none of this is appearing for the purpose of ant experience, there isn’t actually an experience. No one is enjoying nor hating the illusion, it is simply an appearance.

In the same way that the aware/presence before the dream appears from it simply is, in this way, we are. It’s like saying the TV screen plays a movie and experiences it, or does it for the purpose of experience, no that’s silly, knowing has no inherent motive, it is, you (infinite knowing) don’t “happen” for a purpose, never mind happen at all, you are, and in this do you take form of something, your self aware nature of course knows the content of your own being, but that doesn’t mean the illusion can enjoy itself, or that you enjoy or experience the illusion, it’s just a plain appearance, and that’s it.

For example, when you close your eyes on this next demonstration, truly try to grasp the essence of what I’m trying to explain.

Bring from the nothingness/knowing when you close your eyes, a blue vase, know it in every aspect you can, incorporate every sense you can (even taste if your a little freaky 🫦🫦😭) and make it as present as possible. After you open your eyes I have a question for you. (I’m serious, do the damn practice it’ll help you) please take as much time you need to truly get in there (not too long I can’t wait all day)

okay hey, your back, now answer me this, from what did this immersive appearance take reality from? You and I know that there’s no actual vase despite its presence, no matter the vibrant or dull colors, no matter the feel, rough or glossy, its taste 🫦😭, its feel, etc. So what was the substance that formulated this? If you guessed knowing, your soooooo correct, if you didn’t it’s okay you get brownie points 🫶. But yes, now I need you to understand this verrrry clearly, the vase was not real!!!! Yet it appeared that way! This is AN ILLUSION SURPIRISISIEIEIEIEIEIEISISBWHH- yes. No matter how much you want to convince yourself and go back to the vase and its appearance and its feel or colors or any aspect of it, it wasn’t ACTUALLY happening and that means it didn’t take place for anyone or anywhere!!! All there was present was knowing, from knowing forms vase and every seemingly alternate way that it is known, feeling is a form of knowing, literally every sense is just a form of knowing. Every sense that was “used” to understand the vase was all just aspects and appearances of knowing, the color, the sounds, the taste, the feels, they didn’t formulate anywhere else, but nonetheless appeared as immersive and real because YOU BECAME FOCUSED ON THE CONTENT OF THE APPEARANCE RATHER THAN RECOGNIZE THAT IT WAS JUST APPEARANCE. And even though the content of the appearance you formed as became the focus, it still didn’t change the objective fact that there wasn’t someone actually there and experiencing it in any way.

The knowing in/on which appearances formulate is not something different than the appearance, there is nothing to the illusion but its reality, and its reality is knowing. In this way, the illusion couldn’t even be described as something real or taking place, as if it could exist apart from the source of it.

Knowing this is also knowing there is no such thing as the knowing OF, we never know of things or of experiences as if they are something seperate and exist seperatley from knowing itself, that’s literally impossible. Moving forward

You are not the person/character, and it’s not that you are a limited being and you have to wake up to the idea that you are infinite knowing, you have to realize that you were never something seperate, and that this is simply the modulation of your being, and it’s not a someone it’s more of a something.

Let’s starts stabilizing this.

To all of the experiences across centuries, theres one constant amongst the billions of people who’ve lived and are now and that is, I Am. We might not know for certain about anything else ever in this entire universe, and we might not even know who or what we are but for a fact we can say, yes, I am.

There’s no true word that can describe the infinite essence of being, so we use knowing or conciousness or god, all completely the same.

So, to every experience, without an ounce of doubt, there can be the claim, I am. This is knowing, and only from knowing comes the statement, because we must know we are in order to claim that we are. I think something that can capture this is a newborn, imagine yourself to be newly born, mere seconds I mean, eyes closed. You have no understand of anything, no thoughts, no memories, no identity, your pure experience is simply being/knowing, and I don’t mean the action of knowing, that’s not a real thing. Knowing is inherent, you don’t force it.

Going back to experiences. Any experience that is recognized, any seeing, and hearing, tasting touching, and of course feeling, is assumed to be the experience of the body and this is therefore falsely established as “me”, in doing so, we forget our true nature of freedom and limit our understanding and abilities to the limitations of the body.

I’m now going to help you realize the body is an interpreter, and not of a world that’s happening somewhere in time and space, but that the world is the interpretation/modulation/illusion/dream/appearance of our shared infinite being, AFTER being recognized through the interpretations, (sensations and perceptions). This also means that it’s in no way an actual measurement to what you fully are.

What experience is there to seeing? Better yet let me narrow it down, there is nothing to seeing as if there is someone doing the seeing. Seeing simply is. There’s no one to do it, just what is. There is sight, how is there an acknowledgment of the sight/seeing? There must be something to it that gives the understanding “oh I’m seeing this”. (Hint, it’s the same thing that let you know, that “I Am”). Knowing, yes, not knowing as an action, that’s not real, people don’t know, knowing is the essence of what we are (we are not people). But just wait for that. So all there is to sight is knowing, and I don’t think I have to do this but you can say the same about absolutely every other sense, because every single “experience” absolutely requires knowing. Without knowing, “experience” never is, I think we can all acknowledge that.

There is no such thing as the experience of being a human, Why are we deciding that this is what’s it’s like to be humans, we know humans we acknowledge humans but there is no such thing as being a human, in the same way that there’s no true way that there is something to being a fox or a bird or a rock, it’s only with labels are these ideas decided.

The only thing you’ll be able to muster up is memories, emotions, etc, but that doesn’t make it the inherent experience of being a human. Our first and only experience of what we are is knowing, and then knowing that we are, that’s it. In the same way that a babies first experience is not “I am a baby” or “I am a human”, rather it’s just knowing. If being human was our nature, that’s all we’d recognize, and from the very beginning. Our experience does not actually change from being/knowing, we simply forget that there is the knowing, and decide to focus on the body to be “me” or “human”.

You don’t need senses to know you are. Knowing is something unimaginable. Go ahead and try to find it by closing your eyes or even with them open. Can you grab or touch the knowing. Can you recognize its dimensions or what its appearance is? How old or young is it?

Do me a favor and find the edge where knowing starts and stops.

Let me know when you find it because you never will.

Even when you try, it’s only conciousness itself that searches for its own parameters.

By recognizing that your truly not the body, or this person you as knowing have pretended to become, the made up problems of the person disappear, well actually, you realize that there is no person that has problems, only an idea. Only the idea that I am someone and something is happening to me, I am something seperate and need saving. There isn’t actually a seperate self, the seperate self is the activity that you as knowing are, when you become involved with the content and forget your true nature. And what’s truly the main takeaway from this is that, even when it seems like you’ve lost it and now you have to restart and understand it all over again, you as knowing haven’t gone anywhere, your the one pretending to be something lost, and not on purpose, but because you involve yourself too heavily in the appearances without recognizing where they originate from.

From what we know so far, I hope in some way you’re able to recognize that there is no one doing manifestations and having success stories. You ARE the manifestation and it will NEVER be any other way, whether we recognize it or not, that’s the beauty. So no matter if we go on about this appearance of life and say we don’t get it and move on, you as conciousness will continue to play the roles, because there is no off switch to this.

I’m hope this has been able to start untying the blinds over your “eyes” and you’re starting to somewhat understand the truth of what you/we are. This is only the beginning and it’s only going to get more incredible and beautiful from here. But for now I’m shleeepy hehehe, I’ll talk to you soon, never ever give up on your dreams!!!! 🫶❤️❤️

#blommp717 #nonduality #manifestation #manifest #non dualism #nondualism #advaita vedanta #master manifestor #law of assumption #law of attraction

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thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos · 3 months ago

Text

Snack Pack nsfw

I have given birth

This is the longest smut I've ever written, and probably the best writing I've done yet thanks to @sophiacloud28's guidance (thank you fren <3)

Plz enjoy

Rise Leo (aged up 23-25) x reader

18+ MINORS DNI THIS IS FILTH

warnings: smut, fluff, established relationship (friendship), friends to lovers, fingering, oral (giving and receiving), choking (kinda, not really) p in v sex, aged up turts, reader is stubborn

Buzz.

I noted the page number on my novel, setting the book down on the arm of my couch as I picked up the phone from its resting place on the small coffee table. My eyes squinted at the screen, the light jarring after reading for so long.

Neon Leon: Movie night tonight? You bring the snacks.

I smiled at the invite and shifted the device in my hand to type out a response, but before I could, the phone buzzed again.

Neon Leon: Besides yourself

My hand flew to my mouth to stifle a squawk as the phone slipped to the floor, the pink in my cheeks hot to the touch as my mind raced.

Did he know? No. He’s too dense.

I huffed as I shook my head, picking the device back up from the carpet. I tried to ignore the flutter in my chest as I read the text over again.

Besides yourself.

I messaged him back, hands shaking.

Y: What.

Neon Leon: Bring those gummy bears you brought last time.

He was just trying to get a rise out of me, like always. Ass.

Y: I’m busy.

Neon Leon: Yeah…right.

A few minutes went by, and I stared at the phone as he typed, then deleted his message several times.

Neon Leon: Please? We can even watch one those bad movies you like so much

Neon Leon: I’m so bored. And wayyy more interesting than your book

I rolled my eyes.

He knew me so well.

Y: Fine, jerk. I’ll be there at 8.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I tossed my phone back on the table before going back to my novel. I could barely focus on the words on the page as my mind buzzed, now completely distracted around my friend’s smug, handsome face as I read the same paragraph over and over again.

Is he playing with me?

I had always wondered if Leo had an idea about my feelings for him; we had been friends since we were teens and my ridiculous crush had only gotten worse over the years- as much as I had tried to hide it from him. I just never wanted to admit it out loud; he would be insufferable if he knew.

And if he didn’t feel the same, it would ruin our friendship in ways that would never recover.

I tried to stuff those feelings deep down, where they would never see the light of day, but sometimes his teasing was so much that I couldn’t hide the blush on my face as he pushed the line, toying with me, which only encouraged him.

That..That…little shit.

Sighing, I plopped my book on my face and let my hands fall onto the couch cushions next to me as I closed my eyes, his smug face painted in the darkness behind my lids. I could picture the curve of his shoulders, his lips tilted in that smile as he gave a snarky comment to his twin, his eyes glancing in my direction, shining…

He’s such a jerk.

I pried the book off my face and glanced at the clock on the bookshelf.

6:00.

I had two hours.

I could definitely get myself together, pick out a stunning outfit, and get down to the lair by then.

If he wanted to tease me like this, push the envelope; two could play at that game.

“Okay, Leo. I’ll bring the snacks.”

—------------------------------------------------------------------------

I looked at my reflection in my compact mirror, checking my makeup and hair once more before giving myself a flirty wink and slipping the small item back into my bag as I entered the lair.

I looked good.

The low cut shirt and jeans I had chosen were casual enough to look innocent, but perfectly highlighted my features and gave my curves that extra boost. It was the whole look together that really made it stand out from how I normally dressed around the gang.

I flicked my hair over my shoulder as I walked in.

That little shit was not going to know what hit him.

As I strode past the living room, I almost didn’t register a choked noise to my left as I walked by.

I turned at the sound, spotting Donatello at the kitchen counter, coffee mug in hand.

“Oh…hey.” I offered him a small wave, my shoulders hunching as I realised how ridiculous I must look.

He wiped the liquid from his chin and plastron, chuckling to himself. “...Hello and… good evening to you as well.” His eyes gave me a slow up and down before returning to my face, a smug look gracing his own. “Something fun planned, I take it?”

The heat shot to my face. “Ah, just a movie night. The usual.” I turned to leave.

“Uh huh, sure” He sighed as he took a sip from the steaming mug, eyes rolling over the rim. “Well, have fun with that.”

As my steps echoed down the hall, I could hear his muttered words follow me.

“.. both.. delusional.”

Leo’s door was shut, soft light shining from the frosted glass windows, and the nerves suddenly caught up with me as my hand lifted to knock on the metal.

What if he laughs at me? He’s been with so many women, he’d never be interested.

I shook my head, clearing it of the thoughts creeping in as I breathed out sharply.

That wasn’t the point. I just wanted him to get a taste of his own medicine.

My knuckles rapped loudly on the door.

“Come iiiin.” I could hear the smile in his voice as he sing-songed a muffled welcome. I lifted the handle and slid it over the track, steeling myself for revenge as it opened.

—-----------------------------------------

The low light from his lamp casted a soft glow on my exposed skin as I stepped over the threshold and closed the door behind me, leaning back on the metal.

Leo laid on his bed, eyes on his phone as he sprawled out lazily, arm draped over the pillow pile arranged for movie night. He tilted his face up to me, smile slowly fading into a look of shock as his phone dropped to the floor with a soft thunk.

He was frozen in place as he stared openly, surprise coloring his features as I felt his eyes drag over my figure before settling on my face. I smirked at him and let his own signature snark roll off my tongue.

“I wasn’t sure what snacks you meant, so I brought some different options.” I raised an eyebrow as he blinked back at me, still speechless. I lifted the bag up from my shoulder, offering it to him.

I chuckled under my breath as I watched him lay there, unmoving, until the rustling plastic seemed to shake him back to reality as he sat up.

“Huh? Oh…yeah.” He mumbled under his breath as he lifted a hand to his snout, closing his eyes for a moment as he breathed out sharply.

When he reopened them, he flashed me a smile; but a wary look glistened over his eyes.

“You…ah…you really got dressed up for movie night, huh?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I figured why not, I rarely look nice anymore.”

He nodded, seemingly satisfied with that answer, but the guarded look didn’t leave his eyes. Leo leaned over to pick up his remote, flipping it in his hands as he stood.

“So, I was thinking we could watch Scary Movie? That’s one of your favorites, right?” He turned to the tv, flipping through the channels, and shot me an eyebrow over his shell. “And don’t worry, I’m here if you get scared, quierda.”

I rolled my eyes at him as I sat down on his bed, tossing the bag of snacks on the floor and scooting back into his pile of pillows against the wall. “Yeah. Right. It’s not actually scary, Nardo.”

He wasn’t going to get to me, I thought to myself. Not this time.

Even if he was being really thoughtful right now.

I watched his shoulders tense at my sarcasm as he stood at the side of the bed, flicking through the streaming channels that Donnie had hooked up to everyone’s rooms years ago.

Finally finding it, he turned on the flick and flopped into the space next to me as he tossed the remote to his nightstand. He scooted in with a practiced ease, sliding in behind me so I could lean back against his plastron, so close and so far from each other- like we always do on movie nights.

But this time felt different.

I felt his chest rise and fall behind me, his breath heavy over my shoulder as the movie started on the screen. He cleared his throat softly, and I turned my head slightly to look up at him.

“Do you need something? I can grab the snacks if you want.”

"No..ah, that’s not..” His voice trailed off as his eyes flicked down to my chest for a moment, his tongue dragging on his lip as his eyes slowly looked back up to mine.

He cleared his throat again, and looked back to the screen.

I smirked to myself, looking back at the movie, satisfied to have finally won our little battle of wills.

Maybe he’d think twice about teasing me again.

As the flick played and the characters were introduced, I felt his arm move behind me, slowly lifting around the pillows as it settled gently over my shoulders. The hard shell of his chest against my back grounded me as my thoughts drifted, his breath on the shell of my ear just enough to send tingling sensations down my spine.

I loved being this close to him, even if it broke my heart at the end of the night when I went to bed alone. The countless nights I had spent, staring into the darkness, seeing his smile float through my dreams as I fought through the tears.

For all his flirting, he never meant any of it.

It was just a game to him.

A shriek from the screen jolted me back to the present, and he chuckled at me as I settled comfortably against him again. After a few minutes, I noticed a nimble finger as it started to trace slow circles on my shoulder, his eyes still glued to the screen.

The blush crept into my face as I felt him lean in closer, breath hot against my neck.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" He whispers against my skin. I can feel his heart pounding behind me, the rhythm betraying his casual tone. "Like, for example, the reason why you look so…."

My breath hitched in my throat at his words, his voice husking over my skin and causing a chill to seep through to my veins. I turned over my shoulder again to look up at him, blush on my cheeks and surprise coloring my features.

His eyes searched mine, looking for something as his fingers gripped my shoulder lightly.

“Look so what?”

He huffed behind me, looking back at the screen, not really watching the movie as his grip on my arm tightened.

“What are you playing at, querida.”

I bit my lip, moving a hand to his thigh as I started tracing slow, languid circles absentmindedly on his leg, my fingertips gently brushing over his grey joggers.

“What…what do you mean, Leo?”

His leg tensed under my fingers as he swallowed hard, his tongue darting out to lick his lips.

"Well," he started, voice barely audible. "I mean..." He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I know we’ve always been just friends, but..." Leo's voice dropped lower, huskier. "I don’t think I can take this anymore..." He trailed off, his eyes darkening as he watched my fingers swirl patterns on his clothed thigh.

“...Leo..” I breathed his name, more like a prayer than anything else.

Don’t say it.

Don’t break my heart.

"I want you." He admitted, his gaze intense as his eyes flick back up to mine. “If you want me too.”

I paused, chewing on his question and wondering if he’s really willing to push the joke this far...or if he’s serious.

“And if I said that I did? What..” A sultry look darkened my eyes as we stared each other down. “What would you do then, Leo?”

My fingers searched a little higher on his thigh, and I could hear his breath hitch behind me.

He leaned in closer, his breath hot against my ear as his lips brushed against the skin. "If you did..." He whispered, his voice low. "I would make sure you never forget tonight."

His hand moved to my hip, pulling me closer to him. "I've been waiting for this a long time, hermosa." He whispered, his fingers gripping lightly at the flesh of my hip as he pulled me closer to him. "I would worship every inch of you." His words are heavy with lust, dripping as they roll off his tongue.

He released my hip and turned my head gently towards his; his lips hovering just centimeters from mine. "But only if you're finally ready to admit that you want me."

My eyes widen at his words, gaze landing to rest on his mouth as he waits for my answer. His thumb stroked my jaw where it rested against my face, and I flicked my eyes back up to his as he stared at me.

My heart thumps in my throat, pulse raging as I look at him.

I can’t hide it anymore.

“I…I want you, Leo.”

His eyes blazed as the words rolled off my tongue, and he chuckled lowly before leaning in, closing the distance between us and capturing my lips in a heated kiss. His pout was softer than I imagined, pressing into mine with urgency and need as he cupped my face in his hand.

He gently nipped at my bottom lip before diving in deeper, tongue intertwining with mine in a dance of soft pants and hums as his kiss overwhelmed me like a wave against the shore.

My body hummed with the electricity of his lips against mine; his soft skin scrubbing over mine with such intensity I could feel myself shudder in his grip, each holding onto the other for dear life as passion gave way to gnawing hunger.

His arm moved from my waist, hand groping and searching lower and lower until it rested at my inner thigh. Heat pooled in my center as he slowly traced his hand further down, lightly pressing his hand against my clothed center. I whimpered into his mouth at the pressure, my hand lifting from his leg to his face as I squirmed in his hands.

I felt him grin against my lips as my noises reached him, his fingers moving with purposeful strokes over my clothed center, the jeans just enough of a barrier to make my head dizzy.

Leo broke the kiss, trailing his lips down my neck, and nipped at the sensitive skin there as he spoke softly.

“You have no idea how long I wanted to touch you like this, querida.” He murmured, heavy and slurred. His other hand moved to cup my breast, kneading it gently through my shirt. "Do you want me to keep going?" His breath is sharp against my neck; the heat everywhere and inescapable but so addictive.

I nod against him as his fingers slipped beneath my jeans, and brushed at the bare skin above my lace underwear. He nipped at my neck as his hand slid under the fabric, and I sighed softly into his touch as he dipped into my folds, rubbing against my clit as his other hand gripped at my chest.

“..you’re so wet, damn baby..” His voice sounded like it came from the clouds, so lost in the moment himself.

His fingers continued to glide over the sensitive nub, teasing me a bit longer before sliding down to gently circle my entrance. I could feel the slick coat his fingers, making the erotic sounds echo as the movie continued on, completely forgotten.

"Y..yes...pl-please..fuck-" My hands gripped at his skin, so desperate for the pressure he was teasing me with. I could feel myself melting into his hands like putty, brain turning to mush as he explored and toyed with me.

His kiss was hot at my neck, yet cool instantly as air rasps over freshly kissed skin. He bit into my neck gently, chuckling darkly as I whimpered in his hands, more curses pouring from my lips as I trembled into his touch.

"Such a dirty mouth," He teased as he withdrew his teeth from my flesh, his voice low as his hand shifted in my jeans. "But I think I like it." His fingers slid into me slowly, thrusting in and stretching as I panted and moaned softly in his arms.

He kept his movements deliberate and slow as his fingers thrusted into me, and as he did he shifted his thumb to circle over my clit, swirling around the nub as he watched my face contort with pleasure from his spot behind me.

I mewled softly as his hands brought me to new heights, finally filling the ache that had been gnawing at me for so long. I gripped his mask tails as he thrust those agile fingers into me, panting in pleasure and barely able to form a response.

"I..h-hnnngh..L-Le-eo.."

My eyes rolled back in my head, and I bit my lip to hold back a scream.

A smirk snuck back onto Leo’s face as my words turned into unintelligible sounds of pleasure, my body writhing under his skillful touch. He increased his pace, his thumb pressing harder against my clit as I keened at the pressure.

"Do you want more, preciosa?" He asked as his pout brushed against my cheek, voice dripping with confidence. "Because I can give you more." Leo nipped at my earlobe before sucking on it gently.

My moan sounded like I was gasping for air as he licked at my ear, the sensations overwhelming as he’s everywhere on me, all at once. It felt like his hands were caressing every inch of skin, nowhere left undiscovered. He’s under my skin, in my veins, and it felt so good.

I nodded as he let go of my ear with a swipe of his tongue, humming approvingly. His fingers thrusted harder into me, curling slightly, while his thumb continued its relentless assault on my clit.

I can feel my body tensing, my walls clamping down around his fingers.

His hand snaked up from my breast to my throat, briefly putting pressure there as he continued to tease my clit with his thumb, fingers curled deep inside me.

As his hand wrapped around my throat, he leaned in, breath hot against my cheek.

"That's right, baby, cum for me." He growled, and his tone shot a thrill through me to my core.

He released my throat, giving me space to breathe as he watched my face contort in pleasure. I could hear him churr softly, the sound vibrating through his chest as he continued to turn me to putty in his hands.

I turned my head to kiss him, pulling his face down to mine desperately as I came undone on his hand; the pleasure a blinding wave as it crashed over me and I moaned loudly into his mouth.

Leo swallowed my cries of pleasure as I trembled in his arms, aftershocks of my orgasm tensing over my body as he slowly swept his thumb over my swollen clit, gently milking the last of my climax before pulling his hand out of my jeans. He brought his glistening fingers to his lips, swiping his tongue over them as he looked down at me with a cocky look on his face.

“You okay, hermosa?”

My face flushed as I panted, eyes glazed with lust as I looked back up at him.

What just happened.

He smiled down at me, eyeridge raised.

“Sorry, I guess I was getting a little hungry.”

This cocky mother-fucker.

—--------------------------------

I blinked slowly at Leo as he licked the slick from his fingers, watching me pant against his chest as the flush left my face.

He grinned down at me, and I turned back to the movie as I bit my lip, frustrated.

That had just happened. What I had always hoped would happen.

And it meant nothing to him.

Leo. Fucking Leo.

He won.

Or at least, I thought he had, until I shifted against him and felt his cock pulse at my back.

I shifted my hips again, curious to see if that was really what I had felt, and he audibly groaned at the friction, and shot a hand out to still my hips.

“Careful, querida.” His voice was a gritted growl as he fingers dug into my skin, and I knew in that moment I had the upper hand again.

I turned slightly, looking up at him through my lashes demurely and feigning innocence.

“You okay, Leo?”

He narrowed his eyes at me, but released his death grip with a snort and looked back at the tv screen.

When he looked away, I sat up to turn around in his lap, and slid my knees under me as I kneeled between his legs.

His breath hitched in his throat as he stared down at me, eyes wide.

I slid my fingers slowly up his thigh to the waistband of his joggers, a seductive smile painted on my lips as I watched him swallow hard, eyes darting to stare at my hand.

“I guess I might want a little snack too…” I can hear my voice purr as the words rolled off my tongue, seductive and lustful. “But…if you don’t want me to…”

His eyes flicked back up to mine quickly, jaw set hard.

“No, hermosa…trust me, I want you to…” His voice trailed off, something holding him back. “I just…ah..”

My eyes took on a mischievous glint as my fingertips slid just over the waistband of his pants. He breathed in sharply, eyes darting back to my hand before flicking up to my face.

Why was he being so cautious? It’s not like he’s never done this before.

“Then sit back, Leon. Relax.”

He nodded, a small smile playing on his lips, but the caution still in his eyes as he leaned back against the pillows behind him.

As he relaxed a little, I slid my hands to the waistband and tugged gently. He lifted his hips slightly, helping me pull off the grey joggers, revealing his hard, throbbing length as it laid on his plastron.

I couldn’t hide my surprise at his size as I brushed a fingertip over his length, ripping a shudder from him.

“Well, I can see why your ego’s so the size of Wall Street.” I can’t help the chuckle that left my lips as I gripped his length in my hand gently, his cock twitching in my palm as he groaned softly at the pressure.

I took his length in my hands as I gave him a sultry look, my eyes locking with his as I leaned down and placed a feather light kiss to the tip of his cock.

I steeled my resolve to get him back for moments earlier; he was going to be putty in my hands by the time I was done with him.

"You're bigger than I imagined."

I could hear his breath hitch as my tongue slid out, swirling over the tip before I gave his length another pump with my hand. He tensed as I took him in my mouth, tongue swirling as I bobbed my head down as far as I could go, coming back up for air with a popping sound.

"F-f..fuck…you...you can take y-your time.., preciosa." He drawled, words slurred as his gaze was glued to my mouth.

I placed another feather light kiss at the head of his cock, holding back a grin as he whimpered in my hands.

Who’s winning now, Leon.

I could hear and feel him groan as I wrapped my mouth around him, my tongue teasing as I swirled and licked at him. His voice was strained as my head bobbed up and down, my mouth warm, wet, and ringing the most delicious sounds from him as I dragged my tongue up his length.

He threaded his fingers through my hair, guiding my movements slightly as he thrusted shallowly into my mouth, his eyes rolling back in pleasure.

It was a pretty picture, seeing him like this.

"Does it feel good, Leon?" I asked as I paused briefly over him, eyebrow raised in a mischievous smile.

I didn’t give him time to answer, as I took his length as deep as I could down my throat. I felt his legs tense as I held him there, fighting the gag, and he groaned loudly, his grip on my hair tightening as the heat slid over him.

I came off of him with a popping sound, and wiped at the line of spit from my lips as I looked at him and pumped my hand on his length, and repeated what he said to me earlier.

"Do you want more, Leo?" My eyes took on a sultry look as I leaned down and slid my tongue up and down his length again. "Cause I can give you more."

His eyes narrowed as he watched me take him into my mouth again, his hips bucking slightly as my tongue swirled around him. His hands tightened in my hair, guiding my movements faster, deeper. He groaned, the sound almost a low growl.

"Fuck…hnng-."

He pulled me off of him for a moment by my hair, panting heavily as he looked down at me, eyes dark and blown wide with lust.

"Not yet," He huffed, chest heaving as he tried to calm himself down. "I want to see you cum for me again."

He pulled me to him, capturing my lips in a searing kiss, his tongue tangling with mine as he guided me to lay down on my back. The sudden gentleness brought a flutter to my chest, as his hand tenderly laid my head down on his pillows. He leaned over me, fingers gripping my shirt, as he deepened the kiss and painted his tongue inside my mouth.

With a swift move, he lifted my shirt over my head, revealing my breasts nestled in my lace bra before him. I gasped at the movement, but the look in his eyes settled any shock I felt.

He stared down at me, gaze hungry as he snaked a hand to my back, undoing the clasp quickly with one hand. The offensive fabric was flung somewhere across the room as Leo's gaze lingered on my bare chest, taking in the sight, the dusky rose of my nipples hardening in the cool air of his room.

He leaned down, as if drawn to me, capturing one between his teeth and giving it a gentle tug, and a choked whimper ripped from my throat at the sensation.

A hand slid down my stomach, tracing the curve of my waist until he reached the button of my jeans. With a flick of his wrist he undid it, and then slowly dragged the fabric down my legs, revealing the lacy lingerie I had worn for confidence. I could feel a low rumble from his chest vibrate through me.

"Fuck, you're beautiful," He whispered, his words syrupy as he trailed kisses along my chest, nipping lightly before moving to lavish attention on my other breast.

His fingers dipped under the lace, teasing at the wetness there before slipping inside my panties again and finding my nub, circling it lazily as he continued to swipe his tongue at my breast. I panted his name softly, mewling as he toyed with me.

I gasped against him as he licked more deliberately at my breasts, but didn’t linger long, his face leaving my chest as he moved down my body, his hands slowly started to pull my lace panties down my legs.

Leo smirked up at me when he noticed that I had shaved.

"Planning something, were we?" He raised a brow ridge at me, a chuckle on his lips as he settled back between my legs, underwear discarded. I blushed as he kissed the inside of my thigh, bodies now completely bare before each other.

"I..I mean..I just wanted...I-I wanted to be prepared in case..."

His eyes sparkled with amusement as the blush swept over my face and chest, embarrassment coloring my features.

"In case what, hermosa?" He teased, his breath tickling the sensitive flesh of my inner thigh as he moved his face closer to my center. "In case you got to have your way with me?"

He chuckled softly, leaning in to place a feather-light kiss right above my clit, making me squirm as I cried out at the sensation.

"Don’t be embarrassed, quierda," He chided, his voice dropping an octave as he flicked his tongue out swipe at my center. "I'm just glad you finally got over yourself."

His hands slid under my thighs, spreading my legs wider before him.

I tried to ask him what he meant, but his tongue on my core stopped any thought I had.

I mewled as it slid in between my folds, licking at my clit and swirling against the sensitive nub. My hips jolted, and his grip tightened around me as he continued to tease me with his flexible tongue.

"No moving, preciosa." He murmured, breath sending shivers up my spine as it husked over my clit.

I gripped the sheets over my head as I trembled in his hold.

Holy shit.

He started to lap faster at my clit, more insistent; his fingers gripped my thighs tightly as he flicked and swirled his tongue at my center. He looked up at me through his mask, watching my face contort with pleasure as my breath came in short pants and huffs.

"That's it, hermosa," He panted encouragingly against my wet heat. "Let go for me, baby." He pressed two fingers inside me, curling it just right, hitting my G-spot as he continued to lick and suck at the swollen, sensitive nub.

"..hnngh...f-fuck...L-Leo-oo.."

I panted his name as his fingers fucked into me, the sensations overwhelming and turning my brain to mush again. His tongue kept the pace at my clit, building at the pressure as it crested inside me.

In seconds I was moaning his name loudly, trying not to scream, as his fingers pumped into me and I came apart in his hands.

Again.

His tongue kept swiping at my center as I rode out the waves of pleasure, twitching, until he slowly withdrew his hand and leaned back, looking down at me with a satisfied smirk and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"I told you I could make you feel good, preciosa." His tone cocky as he licked his lips clean of my arousal. "And that was just the appetizer." He stood up, towering over me from the foot of the bed, his hard cock bouncing against his plastron at the movement as he watched my breathing return to normal.

"Ready for the main course?"

A fucked out look glazed over my eyes as I gazed up at him, a vision of sex appeal towering over me.

I bit my lip. "You’re such a cocky asshole, you know that?"

He smiled as he crawled over me, legs slotting between mine as he took me in his arms and kissed me deeply, sweetly, as our tongues danced languidly.

He broke the kiss briefly as he rested his forehead on mine. “You love it.”

I giggled in his arms, nodding, and his lips crashed back into mine, mouths and tongues meeting and parting like waves as I’m swept out to sea under him; where I’ve always wanted to be. Leo groaned into the kiss, his cock twitching against my body as his hips ground into mine, both of us desperate for each other.

He broke away for a moment to look into my eyes, his own filled with something warm and bubbling as he takes in the flush on my face, the way my chest heaves against his.

He leaned down, nuzzling into my neck, nipping at the skin gently, ripping a shiver straight to my core as he whispered hotly in my ear.

“Have I told you how much hearing you moan my name turns me on?"

He reached down between us, aligning his cock with my entrance, and slowly pushed his length in.

A strangled wail flew from my lips as he sheathed himself fully inside me with one fluid motion, filling me so completely that I had no conscious thought left in my mind but him.

He started to move, setting a slow pace at first, but soon picked up speed, his hips snapping against mine as each thrust sent waves of pleasure coursing through us both, the sounds of skin slapping against shell drowning out the movie on his small tv.

He panted next to me, voice ragged as he thrusted into me. His hands rested at either side of my head, so all I could see was Leo, Leo, Leo.

I breathed his name like it was holding me to this world as he fucked me into his bed, my nails clawing at his shoulders as my eyes rolled back in pleasure. He was so deep inside me; I felt so full, like he was in the back of my throat with every thrust.

"Fuck, you feel so good baby. Just like I thought you would-" He grunted, thrusting harder as the bed rocked underneath us.

I could hear myself moaning and panting into his shoulder, but all I could feel was his thick cock thrusting into me, fucking my brains out.

"I...hnnngh….” I tried to answer him, but couldn’t manage words.

As he picked up speed again, shifting his hips for a different angle, he rammed harder into me as I gasped into the skin of his arm. I could feel the pressure building, felt another orgasm close as he continued hitting against that spongy spot deep inside.

"That's it, quierda. Let go for me," he encouraged, huffing into my ear as his voice strained with his own efforts. I could feel his legs tense against mine, and wondered if he was close too.

The pressure released like a flood, fast and wild, blinding heat taking over as I started to come apart once more, my body convulsing around him as I came on his cock as his hips bucked roughly into me. I screamed his name, voice shattered and strained like broken glass.

He followed me over the edge, his own release exploding from him in a torrent of ecstasy. He buried his face in my neck, biting down as I felt the heat seep into my veins, melting into me in a thick, syrupy feeling of need.

When he finally pulled out, he collapsed beside me, panting heavily. Leo wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close as he tried to catch his breath. The room was spinning, and I felt like I was vibrating into his embrace.

"I can’t believe we’ve missed out on that for years," he murmured, pressing a kiss to my temple.

I chuckled with him, but the sound grew quiet as my smile started to fade, as I realised what this might mean.

What this might end.

I can’t lose him.

I lifted my head back, turning so I could look him in the eyes.

“...Leo?”

His gaze was drowsy as he looked down at me, a blissful look still smeared on his face as he propped his head up with an arm.

“Hmm?”

I almost don’t want to ask him.

But I have to.

“...Are…are we…do you..” My breath caught in my throat as I chewed on my words, eyes darting down to a scar on his plastron. “...are you going to act like this never happened tomorrow?”

I saw his chest heave as he froze in place on the bed, arms tensing around me as the silence grew deafening between us.

I closed my eyes, the weight settling on my chest as I came to terms with the quiet. I moved from his arms, and turned to get up from the bed before his hand shot out to stop me.

“No. Not ever. I..” His voice was shaky as I turned back to look at him, and he took me in his arms in one quick motion, wrapping me completely into his embrace and pulling me down into his lap. “..I..want this, whatever this is..with you.”

He’s messing with me.

He didn’t mean it.

I choked back the lump in my throat. “Do you mean it, Leo.”

He looked down at me, eyes misty, and cupped my face gently in his hands as he pulled me in for a soft kiss.

His lips anchored me to him as the ache in my heart threatened to pull me out from shore, the everything that I had ever dreamed now right here at my fingertips, pouring his love into each sweet kiss at my lips.

He pulled back to hold my face in his hands.

“I’ve wanted this since I was a teenager in love with you.” His thumb brushed over my cheek. “You were just too stubborn to admit it, and I didn’t want to lose our friendship.”

The tears rolled down my face now, fat and wet as he pulled me into his chest, laying us both back down onto the pillow pile as his arms tightened around my trembling body.

“Yeah…” I sniffled. “I guess I was a little stubborn about my feelings.”

Leo chuckled, his laugh echoing around the small room. “Who knew that all it would take was a lame pick up line.”

I pinched his leg, earning a yelp.

“Watch it.”

tags: @thelaundrybitch @sophiacloud28 @zombiesnips-blog @4evrdreamin5

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#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #tmnt fanfic #tmnt smut #rise leo x reader #rise leo #tmnt aged up #leonardo hamato #tmnt leonardo #leonardo x reader #rise leonardo #neon leon #rottmnt leo #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #my writing #thank you for all your help soph!!

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just-my-latest-hyperfixation · 11 months ago

Text

Eddie Munson's family dinner

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 23

Prompt: Uncle Wayne adopts Steve

Rated: M

CW: nudity

Tags: Modern AU; Rockstar Eddie; Royal Steve; Established relationship

Notes: Continued from days 11 and 14. I can't get this AU outta my head, halp!

Eddie can't recall the first time he saw Steve.

In all likelihood, he was two years old and Steve a tiny, wrinkly baby. His face was all over the news in the days and weeks following his birth, after all. Cradled in his mother's arms, staring bleary-eyed into the world as newborns tend to do - only that in his case, the entire world was staring back. The birth of the King's and Queen's first child had been long-awaited after all, a once-in-a-generation event.

In the years that followed, Steve was always just … kind of there. A strange-but-familiar boy who kept popping up on TV and the front pages of magazines, living a life so different they may as well have been from different planets.

Eddie still remembers fixing dinner in the trailer's tiny kitchen one night, news droning in the background.

"Poor kid," Wayne grumbled.

Eddie, sixteen and a giant shithead at the time, paused in putting the plates down on the table and glanced up to follow his uncle's gaze to the TV.

"Oh yeah, woe is him. Must be so fucking hard, living in a palace. Having an army of servants to wipe your ass and shit."

On the TV, the Prince sat between his parents at some sports event or other, a tiny carbon copy of his father with his Italian suit and carefully styled hair. Clapping at all the right times, face a polite, empty mask of a smile.

Wayne huffed. "Ain't no kid deserve that kinda shit. Always under scrutiny, paraded around like some trained dog."

Eddie rolled his eyes and changed the topic and they didn't talk about it any further.

Wayne's plates are still the same ones that Eddie was putting on the table all those years ago. Eddie has offered time and again to buy something new, but the stubborn old shit won't have it. Insists that Eddie already bought him a whole-ass house with the money from that first record deal, a car after the second, he won't die of a chipped plate or ten, thank you very much. He'll just have to get him new ones for Christmas, he guesses.

"This is delicious, Mr Munson," Steve is saying. He's sitting next to Eddie, back ramrod straight, elbows at a perfect angle, dissecting the meatloaf with careful precision.

Like some trained dog.

"My mom's recipe," Wayne hums, but then he sets down his own cutlery, expression serious. "Now … what are your intentions with my nephew?"

Eddie flushes about twenty shades of crimson. Incidentally, so does Steve.

"I …" he sputters, all traces of composure suddenly gone. "Well, I like Eddie a lot."

"I figured …" Behind Wayne's beard, his mouth twitches. "Seeing how you're wearing his clothes and all."

Steve blinks down at himself. They make sure to keep it low-profile when they're together. The paparazzi never sleep, after all, and they've both had their fair share of run-ins with the fuckers in the past. Which is why he's wearing a red-and-black flannel he stole from Eddie, faded and soft from too many cycles in the wash. Eddie wants to burn all the Italian suits in the world, wrap him up in soft and comfy clothes always.

"Um …" Steve says.

Wayne smiles.

"Relax, son, I'm pulling your leg." If he notices how Steve tenses at the word son, he graciously ignores it. "Now are ya gonna take my boy's hand, or what?"

Steve gapes.

"Might as well," Eddie winks, takes the knife from Steve’s limp fingers and entwines their hands. "He'll just keep nagging until he gets what he wants."

Their gazes lock and Steve smiles. Not a mask. The real one. The one where his eyes light up and he looks five years younger. The one that Eddie is rapidly becoming addicted to.

He turns back to eating his dinner one-handed and remembers another boy, a boy from a very different planet, getting coaxed out of his shell over the same plates, the same meatloaf.

Fuck the plates, he decides. Wayne is getting a whole damn kitchen for Christmas, whether he likes it or not.

"He's a great guy, your uncle," Steve mutters into Eddie’s chest later that night. They're all curled up in Eddie’s bed and he's naked except for the flannel. He claims it's to ward off the cold air seeping in through the open window, and Eddie isn't about to argue. Not when the sight does things to him.

"Sort of thought he was gonna hate me," Steve continues, and Eddie hums quizzically.

"Why's that?"

"Hm, let's see …" Steve's brow crinkles in mock-thought. "He raised the guy who wrote two top-ten songs about how much the monarchy sucks, that could've been a hint."

"Nah," Eddie chuckles. "Guy would've adopted you as a kid, if he could've. He's always loved you, way-"

Large hazel eyes blink up at him and the words get stuck in his throat.

Because he hasn't said it yet, even though he's rapidly coming to accept that it's true.

Way before I did.

"And apart from that," he says instead, "if you marry me, I'll be a princess. What parent doesn't want that for their kid?"

"Hold your horses," Steve grumbles, but his eyes are sparkling again. "We can't get married if your uncle adopts me."

"Shame," Eddie quips and presses him down into the pillows. "Would've loved to wear a tiara on stage, that sounds like a killer look."

Eddie doesn’t recall the first time he saw Steve, but he doesn’t really think it matters. Not when he gets to see the real him now, with no-one else watching. Blushing and naked, lips kissed pink, glowing with happiness.

It's an image he's sure he won't forget.

Part 4

All my holiday drabbles

#steddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve x eddie #steddie brainrot #steddie fanfic #fanfiction writer #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #steddie holiday drabbles #hype's holiday drabbles #the rock star and the royal

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iambicpentameterhamster · 3 months ago

Text

Every umbrella academy character ranked (seasons 1-4)

After that shitshow of a fourth season, i felt it necessary to redo this.

#36 -The Sparrows (Jayme, Alphonso, Fae etc.)

The show had no clue what to do with these characters. They sit around being evil for a little while only to promptly die within four episodes. Also one of them is a fucking cube?!? Whats up with that?

#35 - Sloane

How come she disappears in season 4 but not sparrow Ben? So much of this makes no sense.

#34 -Sparrow Ben

I hate this character with my whole being. He goes around calling people emo as if HE DOESNT WAKE UP EVERY MORNING WITH A SCOWL ON HIS STUPID FACE AND EMO HAIR ON HIS STUPID FOREHEAD. He's so rude and awful and i'm given no reason by the show to give a shit where he ends up.

#33 -Carl Cooper

This one speaks for itself.

#32 -Reggie's wife

The two of them annoyed me so much.

#31 -Viktor

Moochy emo sod. Elliott Page's acting got progressively worse throughout the series (and i like Elliott Page, but this wasnt his best work.)- season 1 Vanya was tolerable, beyond that i couldn't stand this character. All his jokes land flat and he has the charisma of a piece of cardboard.

#30 -Season 4 Five

For the sake of this ranking, i am treating seasons 1-3 Five and season 4 Five as seperate characters. Seems like the writers were doing the same. What the fuck, guys? How do you bulldoze a character this badly?

Season 4 Five was unfunny, selfish, cowardly, and most of all on a different plane of being from the Five we all knew and loved. Screw you, season 4 Five, you're not canon.

#29 -Season 4 Lila

I'm treating Lila the same way. Season 4 Lila was an injustice to seasons 2-3 Lila.

#28 -Harlan

Couldn't care less about him. He represents to me when the umbrella academy started going to shit in season 3.

#27 -Jennifer

Again, we are given no reason to care about her.

#26 -Pogo

He was just there for the exposition. They never explained why Reggie was doing experiments on monkeys??

#25 -Reggie

He was quite a good villain but i still hate him. Really goofy at times, too.

#24 -Jean and Gene

They were quite good actually. If season 4 wasn't a dumpster fire, i reckon they'd have been able to really shine.

#23 -Cha Cha

This is getting into better territory. I liked Cha Cha, she was badass, but not well developed.

#22 -Detective Patch

Again, i liked her, but she wasn't given much time to develop as a character.

#21 -The Swedes

They were funny, whimsical villains that were fun to watch on screen. Funny and whimsical are two adjectives that TUA used to embody.

#20 -Elliott

My guy just wanted to eat fish and be a conspiracy theorist 😔

#19 -Sissy

Welcome back, Sheldon's mum.

In all seriousness, she was well acted despite Viktor's actor giving her nothing to work with, so props to her.

#18 -Dave

WE GOT ZERO MENTIONS OF DAVE IN SEASONS 3-4?!? DESPITE HIM BEING A HUGE PART OF KLAUS'S CHARACTER?!?! WHEN I CATCH YOU WRITERS-

#17 -Destiny's children

I am in fact an active member

#16 -Luther

I have bumped Luther up my list because in seasons 3-4 he sort of embraces his goofiness, but in seasons 1-2 he is an insufferable, incestuous moron. He is up here for good character development and i wished he could have ended up with Sloane.

#15 -Agnes

She was really cute and sweet, i liked her a lot. RIP season 1, you were peak.

#14 -Herb and Dot

They were sweet and funny too, and i miss the whole idea of the time commission.

#13 -Kenny's mum

An honourable mention

#12 -Grace

Grace was super well performed and poignant. I have no issues with Grace.

#11 -Stan

Live, laugh, love Stan. I hate that the trauma of losing him was never mentioned in season 4 for Diego or Lila.

My top 10

#10 -Lenoard Peabody/ Harold Jenkins

I stand by him being one of the best-acted and most cleverly written villains of all time. He is not only a well-executed surprise villain, but a scarily accurate one, and the actor plays him to perfection. We even start to like him before the cracks show. Also he looks like a creepy version of Lin Manuel Miranda.

#9 -Ray

Season 4 did Ray DIRTY. It was completely out of character for him to just walk out. They could have at least have him die in a tragic accident or something. Season 2 Ray is the perfect, most charismatic, ideal man and i hold him in my heart forever and in my head Alison and Ray ended up together.

#8 -Hazel

He had one of the best arcs on the show, period. Continues to represent everything good about the first two seasons of TUA. He was flawed, he was human, he was loveable.

#7 -Umbrella Ben

He seemed like he could have been a brilliant character with more screen time. His sacrifice in season 2 was a genuinely moving moment. The backstreet boys moment is SO FUNNY and his and Klaus's dynamic is something i really miss.

#6 -The Handler

We don't appreciate The Handler enough. The show started rolling downhill as soon as The Handler was gone. She was the glue that held the show together, one of the best villains/antagonists in TV history.

#5 -Allison

Yes, season 3 Allison made some stupid choices and did some terrible things, but a lot of it came from grief and she redeemed herself in season 4 imo. Seasons 1-2 Allison was one of the most charismatic, endearing and empathetic characters on the show.

#4 -Seasons 1-2 Lila

I love you. I miss you. Come back to me.

#3 -Diego

Bumped up the list for being a CONSISTENTLY good character who is flawdd but still extremely loveable and hilarious.

#2 -Seasons 1-3 Five

Seasons 1-3 Five would shoot season 4 Five in the face. He is the daddy here, and season 4 Five is the creepy uncle.

Original Five is a masterfully crafted, hilarious, unique, intelligent character and i will not let season 4 ruin it for me.

#1 -Klaus

This needs no justification.

What do you think? How far do you agree?

#the umbrella academy season 4 #the umbrella academy season 2 #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy cast #the umbrella academy season 1 #the umbrella academy season 3 #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #diego hargreeves #lila pitts #reginald hargreeves #allison hargreeves #luther hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #ben hargreeves

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smolwritingchick · 11 months ago

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The Bangtan Gal Masterlist

Author's Note: Hey! I wrote this story back in 2016 on some fanfic websites and am bringing it back as I edit the chapters. I wanted to put my perspective and imagination on what if BTS had a black girl in their group from America. This'll be a long story starting from their debut so enjoy the ride!

I have so many chapters already written. I had stopped in the story around late 2016 before the MAMA Awards. As I wrote this story over the years I wanted this character to be relatable and grow as a performer as well as go through hardships. It'll be a slow start but it will get better as the chapters go on, I hope you give it a chance.

This will mainly start with friendship. Not just the character and the love interest. I didn't want to rush things and I tried my best to add a lot of bonding and cute moments. This is a SLOW BURN with my OC and Jungkook. The two will not become a couple until 2016.

I'm also on Wattpad and Archive of Our Own

----

Profile Of Jennie

Chapter 1- The Foreign Trainee

Chapter 2- The Debut

Chapter 3- Rookie King Episode 1

Chapter 4- Rookie King Episode 2

Chapter 5- Rookie King Episode 3

Chapter 6- Rookie King Episode 4

Chapter 7- Rookie King Episode 5

Chapter 8- Rookie King Episode 6

Chapter 9- Rookie King Episode 7

Chapter 10- Rookie King Episode 8

Chapter 11- We're Proud of You

Chapter 12- They're My Family

Chapter 13- Boy In Luv

Chapter 14- Look Forward To White Day

Chapter 15- Going to SOPA

Chapter 16- Spending White Day With BTS

Chapter 17- Just One Day

Chapter 18- American Hustle Life Episode 1

Chapter 19- American Hustle Life Episode 2

Chapter 20- American Hustle Life Episode 3 (Yoongi Fluff & Jungkook fluff!)

Chapter 21- American Hustle Life Episode 4 (Yoongi Fluff!)

Chapter 22- American Hustle Life Episode 5

Chapter 23- American Hustle Life Episode 6

Chapter 24- American Hustle Life Episode 7

Chapter 25- I Found It In Big Hit

Chapter 26- BTS China Job

Chapter 27- KCON 2014

Chapter 28- American Hustle Life Episode 8

Chapter 29- Personal Trainer? (Jungkook fluff at the end!)

Chapter 30- War of Hormone (Major Jungkook fluff! One of my favs)

Chapter 31- You Are Special (Jungkook fluff!)

Chapter 32- You're Easy To Mess With

Chapter 33- Mama Awards 2014 (Jungkook fluff and jealous Jungkook!)

Chapter 34- Let's Name It Iron Man (Namjoon fluff and Jungkook fluff)

Chapter 35- BTS Now

Chapter 36- My Ideal Type

Chapter 37- Running Man (Major Jungkook fluff! One of my favs!)

Chapter 38- I'm Lacking

Chapter 39- How Much You're Loved

Chapter 40- I Need U (Major Jungkook Fluff and Suga Fluff!)

Chapter 41- And What If I Don't? (Jungkook fluff!)

Chapter 42- BTS Now 2

Chapter 43- Our First Win

Chapter 44- He's Smitten (Major Jungkook Fluff & Bam Bam Fluff One of my favs!)

Chapter 45- BTS in Kota Kinabalu

Chapter 46- BTS Festa

Chapter 47- Two Different Pages (RM Fluff and Jungkook Fluff!)

Chapter 48- Don't Steal The Beef!

Chapter 49- Distressed (Jungkook Fluff!)

Chapter 50- Payback (Jungkook Fluff!)

Chapter 51- Dope

Chapter 52- One Person Won't Ruin This

Chapter 53- I Think I Love Her

Chapter 54- Rekindle (MAJOR Jungkook fluff and one of my FAVS!)

Chapter 55- BTS Run Episodes 1-3

Chapter 56- BTS GAYO Track 1 & 2

Chapter 57- Tension Escalator (Jungkook fluff!)

Chapter 58- Fan Sign (some angst but ends in fluff!)

Chapter 59- ISAC 2015 Chuseok Special (one of my favs!)

Chapter 60- Running Man: The Golden Duo (MAJOR Jungkook fluff + suggestive)

Chapter 61- Tense (Jungkook fluff!)

Chapter 62- Protection Squad (Jungkook fluff!)

Chapter 63- RUN (Jungkook fluff!)

Chapter 64- Sweet 18

Chapter 65- Karma (Fight! Flawless Victory!)

Chapter 66- BTS GAYO Tracks 3-9

Chapter 67- BTS RUN Episodes 4-9

Chapter 68- Under The Mistletoe (Jungkook fluff! Kiss!)

Chapter 69- GAYO Daechukje & GAYO Daejejun (Jungkook fluff!)

Chapter 70- Jungkook's Confession (Self Explanatory! MAJOR Jungkook fluff! Almost there! My fav!!)

Chapter 71- You Are In Your Feelings

Chapter 72- You Were Worth The Wait (Start of JenKook!)

Chapter 73- It's About Time

Chapter 74- King of Masked Singer

Chapter 75- Ejected

Chapter 76- White Day (Big Jungkook Fluff!)

Chapter 77- Fire

Chapter 78- Prom (Big Jungkook fluff and smol Jungkook Smut)

Chapter 79- Meeting Shawn Mendes

Chapter 80- Taking Things A Little Further (Jungkook fluff)

Chapter 81- BTS Festa 2016

Chapter 82- K-Con 2016

Chapter 83- I Need You On This

Chapter 84- BTS Bon Voyage Season 1 (Big Jungkook fluff)

Chapter 85- BTS In Dubai

Chapter 86- WINGS 8 (Jungkook fluff)

Chapter 87- Wild N Out (One of my favs!)

Chapter 88- This Is Not A Drill!

Chapter 89- Blood, Sweat, & Tears

Chapter 90- Idol Parents? (Big JK Fluff)

Chapter 91- Tub Big Enough For Two (Big JK Fluff! One of my favs!)

Chapter 92- Thank You (Big Jungkook Fluff! One of my favs!)

Chapter 93- Our First Time (Big Jungkook Fluff + Smut)

The Bangtan Gal Masterlist PART 2

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metamorphesque · 7 months ago

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<<Your Excellency, Mr. Minister, At this moment, as discussions are underway regarding the deportation of Armenians, I notice that there is a tendency to primarily attribute the blame to the governors-general and chiefs. I have the honor to bring to Your Excellency's attention the atrocities committed in the name of science... In December 1915, in Yerznka, under the orders of Tevfik Salim, the chief physician of the 3rd Army Corps, the contaminated blood taken from patients with spotted typhus was used as a vaccine on innocent Armenians condemned to exile without "activation." Such experiments are typically conducted on specific laboratory animals. As a consequence of those actions, many of the individuals subjected to the experiment became ill and died. Prior to the vaccination, they were deceived, being told that the vaccinations were administered as a preventive measure against typhus. The organizer of these experiments, Hamdi Suad, a professor of pathological anatomy at the Ottoman Medical University, published the results of his research in the pages of the "Medical-Military Newspaper of Constantinople," announcing that they were applied to those sentenced to death. However, I, your humble servant, witnessed everything and can attest that the subjects of the professor's deadly experiments had no other crime than being Armenian. These facts can be corroborated by Dr. Refet Bey, the chief physician of Yerznka Central Hospital, two Armenian doctors who worked with him, as well as Dr. Selaheddin Bey, the chief physician of the Yerznka Red Cross. Therefore, I, your humble servant, declare that in addition to political crimes, scientific crimes were also committed, about which I am prepared to provide full explanations.>>

Published in the "Türkçe İstanbul" newspaper on December 23, 1918, the author of the letter is the Turkish doctor-surgeon Haydar Jemal; let's not forget this name. He addressed the letter to the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Turkey.

In the issue of the same newspaper on December 24, 1918, that is, the following day, another Turkish doctor, Selaheddin, wrote the following (let's remember him with kind words):

<<Yesterday, I was cited as a direct witness of several events in the open letter of surgeon Haydar Jemal addressed to the Ministry of Internal Affairs. Being aware of what transpired in Yerznka Central Hospital, I consider it a matter of conscience to elucidate this matter. In 1915, numerous Armenians who struggled to conceal themselves in Yerznka were chosen and treated as experimental subjects in the city's central hospital, subjected to microbiological experiments typically conducted on guinea pigs and rabbits. This is how numerous Armenians perished...>>

Here is also a third letter written by the same doctor, Selaheddin, but printed in another newspaper, "Alemdar", on January 8, 1919. Let's reflect on his name once more, with kindness in our hearts.

<<If we acknowledge that the government of the "Union and Progress" (let's also include Germany) never valued conscience, morality, honor, and all sacred values, one can easily grasp the guiding principle that led to inflicting so much suffering on Armenians. At that time, no one demanded accountability for the atrocities committed, and many believed that all of it would go unpunished. It was this mindset that led to such experiments with the spotted typhus vaccine being conducted in Yerznka... We possess ample evidence to substantiate the accusations we've made. It's noteworthy that despite the numerous speeches delivered, I refrained from publishing anything on this matter, while uninformed doctors surfaced in the press to deny rightful accusations. This circumstance compelled me to take up the pen. It's important to note that these individuals, who seek attention, are pandering to the crowd and resorting to sensational measures. If informed and authoritative figures take charge of this matter, justice will prevail. And in this case, there are also culprits involved in matters of deportation, pogroms, and plunder. Our doctors need not worry. The perpetrators have been identified. If there are those who wish to shield criminals, let them await the return of the government of the "Union and Progress" party. The truth will be established not through the publication of newspaper articles, but in the courtroom.>>

"A Shirt Made of Fire", Vardges Petrosyan (translated by metamorphesque)

All the names mentioned in the translated section are of real people. Similarly, the events described are based on real occurrences.

#history #quotes #literature #translated literature #armenian history #armenian genocide #armenian literature #vardges petrosyan #a shirt made of fire #my translations #april 24th

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ladyblueberrymuffin · 1 year ago

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I feel like people haven't really understood The Lost Hero, because like... "I think the reasons Piper and Jason broke up make sense. Their relationship is based on fake memories and blah blah blah"

THE LOST HERO IS LITERALLY ABOUT PIPER HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS, BECAUSE SHE LEARNS HER MEMORIES ARE FAKE AND SHE HAS TO LEARN TO ACCEPT IT.

The whole crux of Jasiper in The Lost Hero is they're slow and shy and even ashamed to a degree about their feelings, because they are afraid it'd be those fake memories pushing them into this.

Like, I feel like The Lost Hero couldn't be more obvious about the fact that they like each other for real, and they're the only ones who can't see it.

Piper already learned this lesson in The Lost Hero, why is this treated like a new development in The Burning Maze?

Also,

Aphrodite smiled. “Because you are my daughter, Piper. You see possibilities much more vividly than others. You see what could be. And it still might be—don’t give up."

It wasn't Hera, or Aphrodite who gave Piper the memories of dating Jason. It was Piper. Like, the way I think about it, it's like when you meet this boy, and you develop a crush, and you start making up all these fantasies about dating him in your head.

In other words, all Hera did was "introduce" Jason to Piper's brain, and because Jason is very sweet, and nice, and funny, Piper's brain was like "Yes, this guy, more please."

I dunno. I always found it cute. She's basically just dealing with an unrequited crush, just dressed up in a magic packaging.

I do think there should be more emphasis put on the fact that there are differences between how Piper "remembers" Jason, and what he's really like, and over the course of the book, she realizes that she likes real Jason more than her idealized version of him.

No one gaslit no one into liking each other. Jason and Piper actively gave each other time to process things. The Lost Hero even ends with this:

Across the green, her cabin mates looked disappointed that they hadn’t witnessed a kiss. They started cashing in their bets. But that was all right. Piper was patient.

The patient bit was always the most important to me. Piper isn't rushing things.

I think Rick heard fans complaining that Jasiper is based on fake memories and how messed up that is, and course corrected. They wanted a major character death, more representation, a different personality for Piper, not having Piper constantly think about Jason, they didn't really like Jason...

And you know, I think he's valid. Like, this is a job to him. He's feeding his family. He doesn't have to care about these fake names on the page just because I do. He wanted to accommodate the fans, he probably wanted some more meaty character stuff after the last couple of books were kinda boring with Callypso and Leo and so on, he probably thought this would get people hooked and interested.

It's fine. I'm glad he's still making books, and getting work, and helping other creators. I don't think other writers are that invested in their characters either, but when I read like a Kami Garcia schmaltzy romance, it feels like it was written with the mindset of "How would I feel if my friend stopped talking to me? How would I feel if my loved one died?" and it makes the actions of the characters feel less cold and detached.

I'd have a panic attack if I was friends with Leo and he moved on a whim, and didn't seem all that broken up about not seeing me again. I'd feel like I am not worth a lot to him. Hell, I am 23, way older than they are, and I still cry, because my friend moved away this year. I pass his house, and I realize I feel nothing, and I don't wanna be there, because he's not there, and I cry. These characters don't cry about anything, unless someone dies. And even then, a few minutes later, it's back to normal.

I dunno, is this what makes it more accessible to middle-schoolers? I feel like middle-schoolers would be even more terrified of the prospect of a friend moving away and not even feeling that sad over leaving them behind.

EDIT: Furthermore, if you think Hera put fake memories of a relationship into Piper's head... TO WHAT END?! To what end?! How does that benefit Hera in any way? Why would Hera care? Rick has done a pretty interesting thing with Hera lately by making her actually love Jason like a son, but that relationship was a lot more reserved at the time of HoO. Why would she care if he gets a girlfriend? Why would she think Piper is a good match for Jason? I feel like the last thing Hera would want for Jason is a relationship with Piper, like, common, Hera hates Aphrodite, they're like polar opposites, and the Trojan War started because of their argument (Athena was involved too, but Hera has different reasons to dislike her). Hera is the goddess of marriage, who has stayed loyal to a man who cheats on her daily, do you think she would hitch her boy with the daughter of the only woman who's body count rivals Zeus'?

#heroes of olympus #hoo #percy jackson #pjo #toa #trials of apollo #the burning maze #can you tell i recently stumbled into the burning maze and got swept up in the angy again?#i'm sorry i'll try to slow down with these vent posts #jasiper #jiper #jason grace #piper mclean #leo valdez #i don't hate rick riordan i swear

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she-is-ovarit · 1 year ago

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This is for all the younger gen Z women, particularly those of you within the ages of 17 to roughly 23. This is written from an American perspective, things might be a little different depending on where you're from.

I graduated high school with the unconscious assumption that certain systems will take care of me. The medical system would educate me on proper nutrition and health issues was probably my largest underlying assumption, but really I just had trust in institutions generally.

This isn't true. You are responsible for learning. As an example, I have been vegetarian since age 14. Nobody talked to me about proper nutrition, they just told me I needed to eat more protein.

I lived a decade of my life having shortness of breath, sleeping issues, clumsiness, cold hands and feet, having brain fog, extreme fatigue, heightened anxiety, etc. My period was extremely light and brown, it'd last for about 2 or so days. I'd go and talk about these problems, and telling doctors that I was vegetarian was one of the first things that came out of my mouth just with any visit because I knew at least that piece was important to communicate.

There was really no action taken over the span of about 10 years. I was told the period thing was normal, that changes for women. A sleep specialist let me know that feeling exhausted was also normal. The brain fog was probably due to anxiety. Here, try allergy medication (tbh that did help for other reasons). Then one day I just asked them to check my vitamin and mineral levels. Prior to this I didn't think you can make requests to doctors, I thought you showed up and they performed tests on what they recommended. With some reluctance from my primary care physician and some compromise because she said my insurance wouldn't cover testing things like B12 levels (I later found out from a nurse that, they would, she would have just needed to fill out extra paperwork), she did some tests.

I found out both my iron and D3 levels were low. What else could be?

I later learned pretty much all the vitamins common to be low for vegetarians were low. D3, magnesium, vitamin Bs, iron, and healthy fats. Bought some liquid vitamins (because the body only absorbs 10% of the pill supplements), began eating an avocado a day, my period became normal for the first time in nine years, and I am able to function.

Another example of how human systems won't educate you: I don't have feeling in some of my toes due to wearing incorrect sized footwear for years resulting in permanent nerve damage. I'm size 11.5 in women's, and I was relying on someone to tell me how proper footwear worked, because surely the guy in the minimum wage position working the footwear section would know.

Don't trust human systems to guide you through how certain things work. Seek specific specialists and experts when you can, and inform yourself on your own. Don't blindly trust search engines like Google, it's not like how it used to be when I was growing up and many millennial adults will tell you to "just google things" because we're used to finding actual substantive answers when we do. However, now, usually whoever pays is who makes the first page or two of search engines, it has nothing to do with what information is "most correct". Don't be afraid to request certain tests be done by doctors or certain referrals made to different specialists.

Edit: And also, I've found general practitioners are terrible when you walk in and tell them about several different symptoms at one time. They're more used to treating one symptom at a time, and they treat the symptom not the root cause. If you go in with a runny nose, general practitioners are going to throw medications at you to try and treat the runny nose, not look deeper into what's causing the runny nose. It's equivalent to if you're in a boat and it's sinking, they're bailing out water without actually fixing the hole or trying to figure out where it is, with the exception of emergency situations and even then it depends.

#tangent #health #nutrition #gen z #medical system #healthcare #women's health

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neonfretra · 8 days ago

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i love everyone whos taking an interest to the sharks no matter what forces compelled yall <3 but also can i interest you in some of our guys that are older than 19 because i think the sharks truly excels at being the funniest collection of . guys, i guess

head coachs emotional support 2nd liner

last year (with david quinn) we had luke kunin as a second line center (hes a depth winger in teams that have more than five forwards and a dream). this year (with ryan warsofsky) we have jan rutta in second dpair . problem: they arent. good . theuy are CLOTH MOTHER!!!

we already have barclay goodrow at home

this is a quote from a tweet comparing kunin and goodrow but i CANT FIND IT...

i dont think we shoulda got barclay goodrow ill be real gang. i dont know what mike was doing here. anyways luke kunin is also our barclay goodrow at home (a bit of a goon, a bit of a leg weight) & we have barclay goodrow & warso loves sticking them together. & naturally theres some center with these two guys. (its currently will smith hockey)

the two old guys so to speak hook up

quoting this call from drew remenda regularly (~0:42 seconds in)

o captain my captain logan couture who has not touched ice since last season (but he played 6 beautiful games in our flop 23-24 season) && marc edouard vlasic (cousin of alex vlasic if you saw everyone getting pavlovian dog reactions every time they mentioned smaller pickle) who we last saw on ice last season...! theyre both out on injuries from the wear and tear of hockey and i honestly doubt we will see them again but i am incredibly fond of them.

heres some important things to know about marc edouard vlasic (pickles)! ^_^

divorced

yeah thats all i got for you

genuine question i have had for a while: how many of yall have never seen these guys on ice LOL

HOTEL CALIFORNIA!!!

oh my god we have SO many retired sharks that just. came back to work for the sharks. just off the top of my head:

mike grier (gm)

ryane clowe (assistant gm)

known landlords joe thornton (who is here for. vibes??? DOES HE GET PAID???) and patrick marleau (player dev coach)

tommy wingels (player dev coach)

mike ricci (player dev coach)

evgeni nabokov (goaltending dev coach) (not to be confused with goaltending dev coach thomas speer, known goalie whisperer)

mark smith (casting)

scott hannan (casting)

alex stalock (casting)

jason demers (casting)

david quinn has connections in the furry community (national hockey league) that could end your career in minutes

ex head coach dq (hes an assistant coach for the pens!) was really good at collecting guys from his prior teams, he used to be a coach for team usa in the olympics and for boston university . he knew gmmg (general manager mike grier) from bu! he also i know a guy'd his way to the pens!

funniest to me is henry thrun . dq WAMTED this guy . back in the college days ! see the thing is henry thrun we call him mr harvard. the one that got away NO LONGER...

swear to god theres another guy who dq ? i think ? loved SO much from his time with the rangers that he just kinda. snatched them with him to the sharks. BUT MY MEMORY IS BAD. I SWEAR IT HAPPENED. <- spent god knows how long paging through the shrimer

the san jose-new jersey highway

we keep collecting notable guys from new jersey... they arent even necessarily super notable IN jersey. mackenzie blackwood and vitek vanecek dont LOOK super good. i think both of them had insane injury records too?? and then we put them behind the sharks defense LMAOOOO

this post is written AFTER vitek vaneceks career record 49 save game BTW

ty equillibrium

did you know we traded away one ty (ty emberson) and also traded for one ty (ty dellandrea) . this is completely unrelated to anything .

the swedish mafia power struggle

we currently have five swedes: fabian zetterlnd, william eklund, alexander wennberg, carl grundstrom, and timothy liljegren ^_^

last season, it was a capital t thing that willyek was self appointing as head of the mafia with getting swedish meatballs at the rink (see previous link) and fabian zetterlund getting him coffee for his exit interview

alex wennberg as his senior IS challenging willyeks seating

riveting stuff. shout out to san jose shark media!

#san jose sharks #this ramble has been a nightmare for me and my ability to recall where i saw specific articles & the like #crackin this one outta the drafts ^_^

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morrieandlicky · 2 years ago

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Edward Carpenter's full response letter to E.M. Forster after reading Maurice in 1914.

(The images of the letter can be found here at King's College's archive. Below is my transcription followed by photocopies of the letter. )

PS: 1) "MS" is the abbreviation for "manuscript".

23 Aug. [1914?]

My dear & blessed E.M.,

(I wish you had a name. Why do you always hide behind initials? What do your friends call you? My name is Edward, or ‘chips’!)

I have read your ‘Maurice’ after all, and am very much pleased with it. I don’t always like your rather hesitating tantalizing impressionist style - though it has subtleties - but I think the story has many fine points. You succeed in joining the atmosphere with the various characters, and there are plenty of happenings which is a good thing. Maurice’s love affairs are all interesting, and I have a mind to read them again, if I can find time - so I won’t send the MS back for a day or two. I am so glad you end up on a major chord. I was so afraid you were going to let Scudder go at the last - but you saved him and saved the story, because the end though improbable is not impossible and is the one bit of real romance - which those who understand will love.

I wish I could write more, but I am devoured just now by innumerable things. I expect to be in and about London from the 1st to 8th Sep. - so give me a cue to see you.

Your Edward C.

Transcription of vertical writings on the second page of the letter:

I am sending my birthday reply to the papers on Sep. 1 with a lot about the war in it.

Only a small part of the letter has been transcribed then included in reviews, or different Maurice editions. Which is why I wanted to transcribe the whole response from the real-life Maurice to the author of fictional Maurice after he read Maurice. The entirety is far more interesting.

Below: Edward Carpenter in 1886 and 1897.

Some contexts: based on Forster's diaries, Maurice was first finished in June/July, 1914, so Carpenter did read the first complete MS—with or without the epilogue is unclear since there's no solid proof for when the epilogue was written (though it appeared in the novel by February 1915 at the latest.)

However, since Carpenter said he liked the happy ending he read (and fun fact: the first complete MS which he read actually had a fairly different ending between Maurice and Alec than the published version's), we know that even from the first draft, Forster remained unwavering about how a happy ending is imperative.

More contexts: according to a letter from Forster to a friend, he thought Carpenter was "too unliterary to be helpful"—meaning Carpenter probably wasn't much interested in reading literature. And Carpenter sort of confirmed that in writing "I read your 'Maurice' after all", implying he was indeed reluctant to read at first.

Still, it made absolute sense for Forster to send the story back to the man who, in a manner of speaking, held the copyright of Maurice in flesh before Forster even finished it.

So the question is: did Carpenter know that Maurice was inspired by him and his lover George Merrill? Did he know that he was the real-life Maurice and Merrill was the real-life Alec? Perhaps that was why he was reluctant to read the novel at first?

#edward carpenter #em forster maurice #maurice em forster #em forster #edward morgan forster #maurice #maurice 1987 #maurice hall #maurice 1914 #maurice 1971 #alec scudder #george merrill #clive durham #1914 #1910s

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sulfurousdreamscapes · 2 months ago

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How I Hacked My Short Story Brain into Developing a Novel

I promised I'd make this post, so here it is, but with a proper title and everything so that it'll be more generally helpful to other writers.

Regulars of this blog have probably noticed that I've struggled a lot with long-form fiction over the years, despite having churned out a library's worth of short fiction.

This time though, things are coming together, and it's because I've got a technique down that plays to my strengths as a short story writer.

Step 1: Outline and Draft Something

After writing and abandoning several outlines for my WIP Last Night, New Body, I finally set one in stone and wrote a draft for it this January.

The rough, first, skeleton draft was 30,000 words long - far from ideal, but better than nothing. It was tough, but I got it done in two months.

Step 2: Read Through and Take Notes

Next, I read through the draft and took notes on how I thought the novel could be improved. This included notes on plot, characters, and setting. The notes were all taken in a spread sheet in the following format:

Page Number -> Note Title -> Description -> Category

The 'Note Title' could be something witty or referential, but it has to be short, like the name of an achievement in a video game. So for example, it could be:

23 -> Enemy at the Gates -> Why does Nadia shut the door when she sees that Rhea has come to visit? -> Character

I took these notes freely, writing down any point that I thought could be changed, expanded, removed, or otherwise mused.

Once I was done with these notes, the question arose: what the hell do I do with these notes?

Step 3: Treat the Notes As Writing Prompts

This step is in-progress at the moment, but I'm halfway through it already! The idea is to take each note and write 500 words for it.

This comes naturally to me because I've written hundreds upon hundreds of flash fiction pieces for my blog, each one targetted for 500 words. This means I'm now developing the novel 500 words at a time, based on the notes I took while reading through the skeleton draft.

The process has been beautifully productive so far, and I've come up with so much detail, so many new scenes, and better developed characters. My next draft will be assuredly be much longer than the 30k words I got down before.

So how long will this take? That depends on how many notes you take. I initially took 72 notes, but I've found that as the story develops and changes, I've had to "delete" many notes because they became redundant or irrelevant. I say delete in quotes because I've actually moved them to a 'recycle bin' sheet of sorts, so that I can retrieve them later if I deem them important after all.

Next Steps? Outline and Draft the Thing

I'm generating a lot of meat for the skeleton draft, and I'm dying to put that meat on the bones. To do that, I plan on first constructing a very detailed outline, including as much detail from the expanded notes (the 500-word pieces) as possible.

This done, I'll write the 'flesh draft' while referencing both this outline and the skeleton draft. As excited as I am for this, I do anticipate this process to be difficult, so I might find a way to divide it into small, short story sized chunks as well.

Then come the edits and everything else. We'll cross those bridges when we get there.

#writing #writeblr #fiction #creative writing #writing advice #writing tips

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 4 months ago

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tuesday again 7/23/24

i woke up at ass o'clock monday morning to find BOTH of my cats sleeping on the bed with me :') temporary peace and love on planet niceys

also read a book where my takeaway was that there are SO many opportunities in the world for evil engineering but not nearly enough for evil puzzle games

listening

my sister sent me ONE instagram reel/screencap of a tiktok and ive been muttering "emergency! emergency! paging DOCTOR BEAT!" under my breath for the past three days. alarmingly catchy remix of this gloria estefan song. this specific video below is pretty close but there are approximately eight zillion versions

youtube

reading

Dark Wire by Joseph Cox (photo from here, description from the publisher's site).

The inside story of the largest law-enforcement sting operation ever, in which the FBI made its own tech start-up to wiretap the world, shows how cunning both the authorities and drug traffickers have become, with privacy implications for everyone. In 2018, a powerful app for secure communications called Anom took root among organized criminals. They believed Anom allowed them to conduct business in the shadows. Except for one thing: it was secretly run by the FBI. Backdoor access to Anom and a series of related investigations granted American, Australian, and European authorities a front-row seat to the underworld. Tens of thousands of criminals worldwide appeared in full view of the same agents they were trying to evade. International smugglers. Money launderers. Hitmen. A sprawling global economy as efficient and interconnected as the legal one. Officers watched drug shipments and murder plots unfold, making arrests without blowing their cover. But, as the FBI started to lose control of Anom, did the agency go too far? A painstakingly investigated exposé, Dark Wire reveals the true scale and stakes of this unprecedented operation through the agents and crooks who were there. This fly-on-the-wall thriller is a caper for our modern world, where no one can be sure who is listening in.

i really liked this one! cox did a really good job of slowly unfurling the extremely technical details as they became relevant, instead of one horrible infodump near the beginning, and has a real gift for humanizing little anecdotes that illustrate the concept. he's also dryly funny in a very british way, eg the transition between one paragraph describing a very talented olive oil salesman and his lifestyle to how that olive oil processing covered up drug labs with the sentence "But Catanzariti didn't stay with olives; he pivoted instead to methamphetamine." i loooooove reading about how the drug trade gets around customs. i love edge cases and figuring out why things fail. i truly think some of the finest materials engineers of our time are out there trying to figure out how to get cocaine into australia.

this is deeply reported in a way that's very different from a lot of popsci and pop-history books that annoy me: this is NOT a book where it feels like the author is simply padding out a wikipedia page, supplemented with articles he's already written. he's been on this beat since 2016 and it shows: he has quotes from hundreds of people on many sides of the drug war. something i also appreciate is that cox is not automatically, rabidly pro-cop; he does not gloss over the very real tortures and kidnappings and all the other nasty realities of the global drug trade, and frequently shows how much overreach and entrapment took place during this whole endeavor. i particularly liked a chapter where he flipped back and forth from various law enforcement officials assuring him they of course complied with all relevant privacy laws and blacklisted anyone using it for simple secure communications, and lawyers telling cox "no the cops very much did spy on my privileged communication with my clients and i know this because these texts came up in court". also gratifying to read about some cases overturned or thrown out, in the odd case a judge decided it looked too much like entrapment.

i feel like i devoured this book SO fast but it's a solid 352 pages in hardcover. i also had to wait a good two months on the libby holds lists so there is strong interest in this book! good for cox!

how did i find this book: it's austin underscore walker's fault. they used to be coworkers at vice and cox and three others broke off last year to found 404 Media, which has had an absolutely crazy amount of real-world impact for the size (again! four people!) and how long they've been around. rip vice. wish u did better by your people.

watching

watched Hercules (1997, dir. Clements & Musker) with my bestie's five year old. i did not grow up with disney movies and don't really have a nostalgic affinity for them but this shit holds up! i like how meg has the silhouette of a greek vase

playing

powerwash simulator has a new free DLC out! we get to go to the aquarium and wash some exhibits and wash the research submarine!!! VERY soothing. took me a good solid two hour podcast episode to clean the exhibits.

the temporary summer event in genshin impact is very darling this year-- there are big indie game vibes and unlocking every chest is a little more complicated or has a little bit more story attached than usual. very excited to see if this continues with the next big update that introduces a whole new land.

i also like that they've picked An Art Style to work with-- everything is very toy-like or origami. not that genshin doesn't have a distinct art style, but playing around with something less realistic is fun!

making

look im going to have to add a cross stitch update to the morning reblog. the lighting in here is simply Not Good Enough

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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jcbbby · 2 years ago

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hey!! could you do a enemies to lovers where jace teases the reader for actually loving him and not hating him like she says she does then she gets flustered and jace also teases her about that too and it ends with him eating her out?? sorry if it’s too specific!!

hello hello! so like I said, writing for Jace is a lil out of my comfort zone, just because I don't know too much about the mortal instruments and that sort of universe in general. but I've given it my best shot for you! and the specifics help a lot, thank you! I hope this is alright. <3

Warnings: SMUT, 18+, SCRAM KIDS or I'll turn the hose on you. enemies to lovers. oral sex (f receiving). a few swears.

note: okay well...I guess I do smut on the reg now, sorry mom and jesus.

Life at The Institute was not exactly where you thought you would be growing up. You had only recently learned the truth about your early life and birth parents. They were both shadow hunters, and they had placed you for adoption, in fear for your safety; wanting to keep you away from the evils and darkness that swelled around them. Eventually, your intuitive and gifted mind sorted out the truth, uncovering the very world they tried to keep you from.

You tracked down The Institute, meeting Alec, Isabelle, and Jace, upon arrival. Letting them know that you hoped to find your fellow shadow hunter parents, they invited you in, offering their help and hospitality. Alec and Isabelle were lovely and the three of you hit it off rather quickly. However, Jace was not as warm to you.

In fact, he had a chip on his shoulder that made it awfully hard for you to enjoy his company. A smugness and sarcastic nature that never failed to instantly annoy you when he walked into a room. He seemed to always know how to push your buttons; making snarky comments, being short with you, getting you frustrated and worked up before smirking to himself, having the victory of getting to you. It was like a game to him.

You sat in your room this morning, reading your current choice of literature, sipping a mug of tea before you started your day. A knock came upon your door, startling you momentarily. You gently closed the book, marking your spot, and swung your legs over the edge of the bed. As you grabbed your robe from your bedpost, another knock came from the door.

“Just a minute!” You called, cursing under your breath at whoever couldn’t wait more than 20 seconds for you to open the door.

Once you had made yourself decent, you went over and turned the knob, swinging the door open. On the other side, you were annoyingly met with Jace. His shirt was unbuttoned and hanging open, revealing his many rune markings across his toned torso. He was significantly taller than you, so your eyeline was at his chest.

“My eyes are up here, love.” He smirked. “I know it’s hard to take your eyes off though.”

You rolled your eyes, leaning against the door frame, crossing your arms. “What do you want, Jace?”

He held up a notebook, your journal. “I believe this is yours.”

Your eyes widened as you snatched it from him. “Where did you find this?!”

“It was on a windowsill in the library, you must have left it there. You’ve got some interesting ideas, by the way.” He winked.

You instantly saw red, realizing he had read these private thoughts of yours. “You read my journal?!”

“Well, I had to see who it belonged to, didn’t I? You really shouldn’t be leaving your belongings around if they’re so valuable to you.” He still held his smirk.

“I didn’t mean to leave it anywhere…When did you even find this? You’re not usually up this early.” You tucked the journal under your arm.

“Couldn’t sleep…I was just really invested in what I was reading. Especially page 23.” He leaned against the doorframe to match your position, raising his eyebrows at you.

“You son of a…” You quickly whipped open the notebook to the page he had mentioned. Scanning your writing, you came across a short passage you had written about Jace.

I almost fell flat on my face in the hallway, but Jace actually caught me. He asked if I was alright, even. I’m not sure what kind of good mood he was in, I would have expected him to let me knock my own teeth out. It was a surprisingly nice moment. But god, I really can’t stand him sometimes. He’s rude, cold, full of himself, just insufferable… It’s such a shame he really is rather attractive. If he had any redeeming qualities, I’d maybe even say I would be into him. I would have enjoyed having his hands on me. I really wish I could like him. Truthfully, I want to like him. I think I do care about him somewhere deep down. But he just has to be a total asshole all the time.

You looked up to Jace, who was grinning wickedly. You slammed the book shut, tucking it back under your arm.

“I bet you’re just so pleased with yourself.” You hissed, scrunching your face into a scowl.

“I’m always pleased with myself. But I’m more interested in the fact that it seems you are actually rather pleased with me.”

You scoffed. “Oh my god…you’re delusional.”

“I think you’re the one being delusional. You wrote it yourself. You really don’t think I’m all that terrible, do you?” He leaned forward slightly.

“I do. I do think you’re terrible.” You said in a stern tone.

He shook his head. “I don’t think you do…I think you really do like me.”

“Oh my god…” You rolled your eyes. “I do not! You’re infuriating.”

Jace chuckled. “And I’ve noticed how you look at me, too, when you think I don’t notice.”

“I-I don’t look at you in any way… I don’t-” You raised your voice at him, and he chuckled again. “See you’re just trying to mess with me right now, like always. Jace, it’s 7am. It’s too early for this shit.”

You went to close your door, but he held his hand out.

“You wouldn’t get so worked up if you didn’t care about me, would you?” He cocked his head.

You huffed, lost for words about how to convince him that you didn’t have feelings for him. Maybe a few times you thought he looked nice, or maybe you had a strange dream about the two of you together…but you didn’t have feelings for him. No, absolutely not.

Jace stepped through the threshold of your room, closing the door behind him. You found yourself swallowing hard as all you could do was watch him. He stepped closer to you.

“Jace…” You started to say. “I…I don’t…” Your gaze fell again to his chest.

“Oh, but you do, don’t you?” He said, just barely above a whisper, stepping closer again.

Your mouth fell open slightly, to say something, anything. All you could do was shake your head no, feeling your heartbeat in your ears. He slowly brought his hand up to your cheek, cupping it lightly. You brought your eyes up to him; his were dark, staring deep into yours. He was intoxicating, you felt an ache between your thighs, finally realizing the walls you had been putting up were falling away. You needed him. He tilted his head as he gently caressed your cheekbone with his thumb. Only centimeters separated you now.

“Jace-“ You started to say, but were soon cut off by his lips pressed into yours, which you didn’t fight.

In fact, you pressed your own lips hard into his. His hand fell from your cheek, snaking around your waist, resting on the small of your back. Your hands came up, journal dropping with a thud to the floor from under your arm, pressing against his bare chest as he pulled you into him. He pushed you slowly backward towards your bed; your whole body and mind were buzzing, you barely even noticed until you felt the back of your legs hit the mattress and Jace gently lowered you down on to your back.

His lips traveled from your lips down to your neck, nipping and licking, as he ran his hands over your torso. Your breath was heavy as you reveled in his touch.

“Let me show you that I can play nice too.” He whispered against your neck.

He sat up on his knees on either side of your hips. His hands reached for the tie on your robe, pulling it teasingly slow, smirking down at you. He pushed away the satin fabric from your top half, revealing your torso, covered only by a sheer bralette that you had slept in. He dipped down again, delivering kisses to your collar bone, making his way more center, to just under your throat, then down between the valley of your breasts, and down to your stomach. As he traveled lower, he parted your robe further, displaying your light pink panties; a patch of arousal already soaking through the fabric. His eyes looked up to you hungrily, noticing how badly you ached for him.

“All for me?” He winked.

He placed a soft kiss on your thigh as he pinched the fabric on the waist band of your panties, pulling them down your legs and letting them fall to the floor. Lowering himself between your legs, he held eye contact with you as his lips made contact with your pussy, teasing you with a soft kiss. You whimpered, bucking your hips ever so slightly, eager for more, you needed more. He chuckled to himself.

“Don’t get greedy.” He smirked.

“Jace…please…” You whined.

“Well, since you asked nicely…”

He maintained his eye contact as he brought his mouth to your clit. His soft tongue generously started working on you and your breath hitched, screwing your eyes shut. You felt him smile against you, seeing you squirm in pleasure under his touch. His tongue lapped at your clit in perfect rhythm, circling it euphorically, sucking every now and then for added sensation. You rocked your hips into him, quiet moans escaping your throat that were music to his ears. He teased a finger at your entrance, driving you wild for just a moment, before plunging inside, curling upward.

“Mmm, oh god…” You breathed. “Please don’t stop.” Your hands found their way down to his blonde locks, entangling your fingers in them.

He slipped a second digit in, curling that one along with the other. You gasped, throwing your head back against the mattress. Your mind went fuzzy, only managing to whimper and let out strings of curses and his name. He loved hearing his name on your lips like that. You felt the coil in your stomach tightening, arching your back, as your legs started to shake.

“Jaaace…fuck…I-I’m…gonna…ohmygod.” You moaned, tightening your grip on his hair.

“That’s it, baby. Go on, let it go.” He said against you, placing his free hand on your lower belly, increasing the pressure.

It was all the extra pressure you needed for the coil to snap. You shook and bucked your hips as he kept his tongue and fingers working, riding out your orgasm with you, leaving no ounce of pleasure for you ignored. He kept going until your moans turned into gasps of overstimulation. It was so much, but you didn’t want to tell him to stop. He slipped his fingers out of you as you came down from your high. He then placed one last gentle kiss on to your swollen, sensitive bud, kissing his way back up to meet your lips, tasting yourself on him. Your excitement coating his lips and chin, glistening in the early morning light that came through the window.

“So, it seems like you do like me after all…quite a lot, actually.” He grinned.

You let out a soft burst of air through your nose as a smile grew across your face. You hand rose to tousle his hair, bringing his lips back to yours.

“Maybe you’re right…” You smiled.

#jace wayland x reader #jace herondale x reader #jace wayland smut #jace herondale smut #jamie campbell bower #jamie bower #jamie campbell bower fanfic #jamie bower fanfic #jace wayland fic #jace herondale fic

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