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severedfromthesource · 12 days ago

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Androids and Electric Sheep

Ren is experiencing an unusual bug. Features F resus, M rescuer, CPR, stething, mouth to mouth, internal defibs, sex leading to cardiac arrest, sex acts both with consent and a person who cannot consent. I got too invested in the preamble so I highlighted the moment resus actually starts if you want to skip it.

No matter how advanced technology gets, it’ll only ever be used to fulfill man’s most base desires. Case in point- RN-34678. Or Ren, when the barcodes make my eyes glaze over and I get sick of calling them the number slurry X Tech names absolutely everything. Ren is as sophisticated as they come. Actual artificial intelligence. She makes the predictive text and ‘can’t even draw fingers’ image generating 21st century jokes people passed off as AI look like even more of a waste of time than they had been in those days. They might as well have been Speak n Spells. The collective power of every single basement dwelling crypto whizz kid with miles of wires and burnt up processors and bricked up video cards dedicated to their etherium farms pale in comparison to the computing power it takes to run Ren’s brain for an hour. She understands nearly 6,000 languages. She learns and retains information, consuming nearly 160 TB of memory every 8 hours. The bio-organic lace that makes up the net of her brain is a miracle, with the possibility of infinite memory. She is perfect in every sense of the word.

She is a glorified fuck toy.

The second the first android became commercially available, one of the first markets they hit was sex work. If nothing about late stage capitalism drove you crazy, that would have. Fuck curing cancer, or making androids for the dangerous, back breaking work people wreck their bodies to do, X Tech decided people needed a sex doll with a 100k price tag. The world’s most expensive cum sock. And yeah, alright, maybe I’m just bitter, partially because there’s no way in hell I could ever afford one, even as an android technician. But what a waste. She sits on my examination table, dutifully unzipping her black leather catsuit. Her managers always manage to stick her in something stupid looking, so overblown and sexualized they stop even being sexy at a certain point.

She looks up at me with lilac eyes. Last time they’d been blue. I like this shade better, I think, though I could do without the electric blue bob they have her wearing today. ”Your crash reports say you’ve been throwing error codes whenever a stream donation comes in over 2k,” I say. Which, for a bot like Ren, is quite a lot of her donations. “It’s probably just a bug in payment processing.” I look again over her diagnostics, floating on the screen at my desk. “Any complaints I wouldn’t find in the debug menu?”

”My heart has been feeling strange,” she says. I pause and look at her over the top of my glasses. “Well, firstly, it’s not your heart. An aether pump does not a heart make. Secondly, it shouldn’t feel like anything. You’re supposed to ignore the inner workings, it’s all background programs, runs without you thinking about it.” She shrugs. Her shoulders are pale as she rolls down the catsuit and pulls her arms from the sleeves, bunching up the tight leather around her midriff. Her breasts are small and round, standing upright as pretty as a Botticelli painting. I’d noticed the small bumps on either side of her nipples (Christ, did the things ever go soft? Or were they just always cutting glass?) but didn’t register until I saw them now that her managers had pierced them sometime since our last checkup. Little silver bars were stuck through the pink nubs, with winking silver balls on either end. Alright, cool, chill.

I clear my throat and pull up my rolling stool. “Well, let’s just take a look then.” I shift once I’m seated to alleviate the pressure of my stiffening cock. Listen, I’m not a technophile, honest to God. I go out of my way to filter out androids when I’m scrolling through porn sites because, despite the leaps and bounds we’ve made in technology, the uncanny valley is still a thing. It feels weird getting off to bots. But then there’s Ren. And fuck me if she isn’t the most attractive thing I’ve ever seen. I put a hand on the back of her neck, my thumb resting at the diagnostic mode button hidden just under the edge of her jaw. I feel the soft bump that sinks in when I press. Her lilac eyes flash black with snatches of white text, then roll back to lilac. Damn, she smells like a new car.

I glance back at the monitor, and as I suspected, nothing comes up about the aether pump. It seems in perfect working order. Still, I dig around my box of scrap wires and spare tubing until I find my mostly neglected stethoscope. I don’t often have to use it, but I feel a trill of excitement go up from my stomach to think I get to use it on Ren. I plug up my ears and put a hand on her shoulder, taking the bell of the steth in my other hand. Her breasts rise and fall with the rhythm of her breathing, set to mimic human intervals. The real purpose is to cool down her insides and keep her from overheating, but just like the aether pump and its auditory cues, its designed to mimic humans as closely as possible. After a guy fucks something like Ren, he gets the added benefit of being able to lay next to her and listen to her breathing. Feel her heart beat. Doesn’t matter what the purpose of the design is for, it matters so he doesn’t feel like he’s fucking a 100k fleshlight with arms and legs. I press the steth to a spot above her breast and it sinks into her pillowy soft skin like it was real. Cool it, Christ, you can’t get so hot and bothered over everything. Heel, boy.

But my thumb makes a slight imprint against her tit, and it’s hard to think of anything else. Same thing happens when I press the steth against a space under her breast, and it lays warmly against the back of my hand. The pump, like the fake lungs, is designed to look and act and even sound like a heart, pumping coolant through her body. I tell her it’s not a heart out of some petty, pedantic need to distance myself and my unique humanity, but truth is, the thing is a heart. She could die if something went really wrong with it, and a lot of bots have. Sudden cardiac arrest was one of the main bugs in the 2.3 rollout. It got so bad, tons of models in the service industry had to be recalled, because mechanical line cooks and servers were dropping if the ovens got too hot. My hand still on her neck, I pull her forward and press the bell to her back. Her forehead brushes against my shoulder, her gaudy blue wig draping against the side of my neck and jaw. I tilt my head just enough my nose brushes her hair. Fuck, she really does smell good.

“Well, I don’t hear any irregularities,” I tell her, because I don’t. The thing is pumping liquid aether around her body at around 70 bpm, like it should. She draws up from my shoulder, glancing at me sideways. “It only seems to happen with clients,” she says, drying out my throat in an instant. “Clients?” “Mhm. Whenever one of them climaxes. If they do it inside me, my heart starts going very fast. I get foggy and I can’t think afterwards.” I swallow. “Right,” I say, “I mean… I can’t exactly test that, Ren.” She touches my wrist. “It’s rather frightening, Doc. I worry…” She pauses, and I try very hard not to say out loud what I’m thinking. You shouldn’t be frightened of anything, Ren. You’re not supposed to feel any of this. She sits back, bringing her hand up, her fingers curling against where her pump lies in her chest, half covering her nudity.

She doesn’t want to get recalled. I wince in spite of myself. If she has the same defect others in her rollout had, she’s going right back to X Tech. I push the steth around my neck, scooping back hair from my face. “It’s a pretty fatal system flaw. It… I could… Well, I-“ I can’t look at her. Fuck, I really can’t look at her. My face feels hot. This is the plot of like, 90% of bot R34 on the internet. I might as well be a pizza delivery guy and she a lonely housewife who’s a few bucks short on a large sausage. She ‘breathes’. Her chest goes up and down, the lights winking off her pierced nipples. She’s so goddamn gorgeous.

“Doc?” “Thinking,” I huff. I spare a glance around the other cubicles bordering mine. Big glass offices, designed for this exact stupid fucking thing I’m about to do. The first guy who got caught with his dick in a bot ruined it for everyone, so now my coworkers and I are subjected to rat lab cubicles where we can look in on each other at any given moment. People around us testing reflexes, repairing cosmetic damage, quashing bugs. What I was about to do was also technically debugging, but there was no way in hell my boss was gonna see it that way if he saw my flat ass pumping in and out of a bot worth more than I make in a year on the other side of plexiglass. Alright, cool, chill. I scoop up my backpack with my work laptop and sling it over my shoulder. “Bathroom,” I whisper.

Cut to Ren and I, locked in the women’s bathroom. We have three women in the office, and their cubes are on the other side of the building, closer to another bathroom. This one is usually empty. Cut to her, awkwardly standing in front of a toilet. Me, on the verge of being the Most Fired Man Who Ever Lived. For extra security, I’d stuffed us both into a stall, locking it behind me too. It's cramped, which adds to the feeling this is absolutely not what I'm supposed to be doing. But hey, it's my job, isn't it?

I awkwardly maneuver around her and sit on the toilet lid, hastily undoing my pants. God, this is shameful. And weirdly hot? I can't tell if it's just Ren or the dozen or so corporate regulations and general laws I'm breaking doing this, but I can feel the pulse in my cock, pressing up against the inseam of my jeans. Those lavender eyes flick from my face to the swollen, flushed skin, and the outer rim of her pupils flash with color. I help her roll down the leather catsuit and then, holy shit, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I’m inside her. She feels real. My hands on her back, my face buried in her tits, her thighs on mine, she feels realer than any woman I had ever known. My breath warms her artificial skin, and the barbell through her nipple is cold, the contrast making me shiver whenever the hot skin of my cheek touches the metal. My fingers slide up her stomach, her hips bucking and pumping me in and out of her. She’s tight. Really fuckin tight. I can feel her aether pump, the artificial heart, throbbing in her inner walls, harder than any real heart I’d ever felt. It adds to every stroke, a thumping sensation that’s nearly making me come after a couple thrusts. Christ, I might as well be sticking my dick right against the chambers of her fake heart.

The job. Right, I’m doing a job. Fuck, I’ve never loved my job so much. “Lemme- ngh, God, fuck- lemme see i-ins-side your ch-est, R-Ren.” She’s straddling my lap, panting like a porn star, her bob swinging back and forth, and she nods. The synthetic skin goes translucent, a dull blue glow that starts at her collarbone and down to the bottom of her ribcage. I spare only a brief chuckle, Man, we never could get rid of those stupid gamer lights, before I try to focus my attention on her inner workings. The aether heart is basically a simplified human one, drawing hot fluid in one side and squeezing out coolant through the other in an eternal ebb and flow. And right now, it’s going insane. The valves are snapping open and closed rapidly, the thing shuddering instead of really beating. There’s a little display window pinned under her collarbone, and it’s clocking her at 150 bpm, the green spikes of her heartbeat saw toothing across the round display port. Not totally dangerous, but as I pump inside of her and she bounces on my thighs to match my quickening pace, it keeps climbing.

Alright. As much as I want to be stuck in here forever, with a beautiful woman bouncing on my dick in a way I’ve only ever dreamed of, I have to figure out what’s wrong. I wrap my arms around her body, pulling her flush against my chest. “Hold onto me, ‘kay?” I breathe against her ear. Her arms slid around me, nails brushing briefly against my shoulder blades. I take in her scent. Focus on the sensations of her body, the sharp cold of her piercings, breasts pressed against my chest, her warm, throbbing cunt. It doesn’t take long. I start to lose the rhythm as my breath shortens, my strokes shortening too, until finally I can take it no more. I come, hot seed filling her up, bathing my cock, spilling out from between our sexes. Her back arches, a cry ripping from her throat of the most exquisite ecstasy.

Then she dies.

No, seriously, the bot quits all at once. I’m there, still trying to enjoy the feeling of my load making her even tighter and full, when she goes completely limp. Her arms slide down from my back, and the artificial pulse I feel in her cunt just stops all at once. She’s dead weight on top of me. “Fuck,” I spit, trying to readjust her, but she’s goddamn heavy. “Ren? Hey, Ren- man, what the fuck-”

I look up at her sternum to see the aether pump has stopped. The little internal monitor is reading a flatline. I fumble to unlatch the bathroom door, my other hand cradling her back, as I awkwardly shift to try and swing it open. Both of us end up in a heap on the floor when I try to pick her up. I'm apologizing to her slack and lifeless face as I disentangle myself and hastily zip up, then lay her flat on her back. Her perfect round breasts sit in the open air, her still heart glowing between them. I set my laptop beside her and hook up a USB into the command port hidden behind her ear.

There was no tip off in her crash reports, but looking now, I can see the absolute mess of code in the last few lines she ran before arresting. I clean up some of the irregularities, get rid of the redundancies, and hit reboot. Two small circular nodes glow within her chest, then snap against the chambers of her heart. Basically built in defib units. Her body jerks, hand twitching in against her cheek, her back arching slightly. Her naked shoulder blades slap against the tile floor as she falls back, limp again. But she doesn't move. Her pump is still. I glance at the monitor and see FATAL SYSTEM ERROR flash across the screen. Fuck, am I going to have to do this manually?

Growling in frustration, I throw my hands against her sternum. It's easy to get the right position when I can see her heart lying beneath a few layers of synthetic skin. Squaring my shoulders, I push down hard. Unlike with real CPR on a real person, depth doesn't matter, nor the risk of breaking ribs. She's basically Wolverine. A hydraulic crusher couldn't break her ribs. They yield though, and bow in against her spine as I rhythmically pump her heart. The force ripples through her whole body. Her stomach pops up, her shoulders shrug in, her head rolls back and forth. I look from her face down to her tits. I can't help it, they're swaying with each compression, the light catching her piercings. I can feel the cool metal rest against my fingers. The position my hands are in leaves my fingertip pressing against her nipple, still standing upright from our exercise. A shiver runs through me. Am I seriously getting hard again? It's hard not to. My eyes drink in her still body, the remnants of our session dribbling down her thigh, her breasts bouncing like they had when she was riding me.

I can almost see the corner of the screen light up with “Kink Unlocked: Reviving Dead Girls”. I glance at the monitor and see the reboot option has lit up again. When I take my hands away from her chest, I see her aether pump jerking as if trying to start again. Once more I charge the internal defibrillators. While they hum to life, I partake in a ritual that isn't strictly necessary. The hero always gets to indulge in mouth to mouth with the downed heroine. She doesn't actually need air, but her lips are slack, full and inviting. I press mine over hers, breathing air she doesn't need into her mouth. I can feel her cheeks puff, and I'm surprised but excited to see her chest rises too. I give her a few quick bursts of oxygen. Her chest jerks up and I only allow it to fall part way before I give her another, making her chest rise and fall in short hyperventilations. My hand finds itself running up her stomach to feel the motion of my breaths, up over her breast again. It fills my palm as I breathe a long, slow draft into her throat, and I roll her nipple between my fingers. She sighs out recycled air against my face when I break the seal of our lips.

Man, how do EMTs not cum when they resuscitate hot girls? The whole tableau is so erotic, I can feel my pulse once more jerk in my cock. The defibs once more slap the chambers of her artificial heart and she thrashes under the current. Her breasts sway and she again falls limp to the tiles.

“Come on, Ren,” I say under my breath, watching her aether pump swelling at uneven intervals. The chambers aren't beating right still, snapping open and closed out of sync with one another. I again check her code on my laptop, using one hand to tap through my options. The other I lay against her sternum. It occurs to me I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Whatever feels like it helps, I guess. Or whatever feels good. I grind my heel in against her heart in slow, rhythmic compressions with one hand. “Come on, work with me here. Breathe for me. Do something, at least let me know you're not completely bricked.” The idea that she might be makes me swallow hard. I like Ren. I don't want to ship her off to the junkyard as much as she doesn't want to be shipped.

When her heart goes still again I lace my fingers together and start pumping her chest anew. I forget my laptop entirely- this isn't a software issue, it's the hardware in her chest acting up. If I can just get the damn thing to reset. Swinging my leg over her supple thighs, I straddle her so I can use my whole body. Like this, I can feel the motion my work creates in her otherwise still body. Each powerful thrust against her pump rolls the kinetic force through her whole body. Her feet swing back and forth. The force rolls from her chest, down her stomach, even rippling her thighs. Each compression makes her stomach roll out, only now I can feel it between my legs.

Fuck it, I'm already fired. These life saving efforts have got me hard all over again, something I would have thought impossible. I unzip and thrust into her almost in one motion. It's next to impossible to actually pump into her while I'm working her heart, so I mostly settle for letting her body rock into me while I do CPR. Only when the prompt for the defibrillator pops up again do I allow myself to roll my hips into her while it charges. The thing whines quietly as I brace my hand against her chest, driving my cock deep inside her. It slaps her heart again and she arches her back, filling my hand against her sternum. Her inner walls clench with the electricity and I groan as I roll in and out of her. That's when she draws in a breath and moans all at once. Her eyes flutter open and she instinctively begins to grind her hips in rhythm with me. Before long I'm filling her up all over again and I collapse on top of her. She's back. The thought strikes me as I look down and see her aether pump snapping out a normal, if elevated rhythm. I roll off onto the welcome chill of the tile floors, my arm still slung around her.

“You okay?” I pant, my eyes half lidded as I look at her. Ren nods, smiling weakly in return. Then she’s wrapping her arms around me, burying her face in my shoulder. I hesitate, the shame of what I had done to her when she was basically dead starting to creep up now that the high is waning. But eventually I slide my arms around her in return, drawing her close to my body. “Thank you, doc,” she whispers.

“Don't mention it.” Seriously, don't mention any of this.

#tbh i might not finish bite back. ive had a hard time motivating myself to complete the final part #resus community #resus #cpr #chest compressions #female resus #resus writing #internal defibrillators #mouth to mouth #defibrillation #stething

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nomsfaultau · 3 months ago

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Bunnyblade's 5-Step Plan to World Dominance

(Ok ok first as a biologist I must do my due diligence to be like, there’s actually lots of rules regarding animal experimentation and their quality of life, animal testing greatly increases the safety of BOTH humans and the environment, etc etc IACUC is extensive and thought out. However. Whump :)

Tw: referenced animal abuse, trauma, blood

Lab Bunnyblade. Blood red eyes and sleek white fur that covers up his many scars. He’s level E under the USDA Pain and Distress category. No anesthesia, no rest. Little bun who always bites when he shouldn’t and kicks at scientists and doesn’t know anything but glass and iron and white and fear.

In his immense wisdom and many years of bunny experience (he is TWO (2) whole years), Bunnyblade resolves to topple the United States Government on the grounds of unethical treatment of its citizens (born on US soil! He should get rights!). But the only obstacle between him and the country descending into anarchy is escaping the lab.

As 2 in bunny years is well over 16 in human years, it’s probably not illegal for him to drive. What? Of course he knows how to drive. Bunnyblade only doesn’t know how to break, because he’s shoved a brick on the accelerator and his widdle legs can’t reach that far. He CAN use the turn signal. He doesn’t because he’s an anarchist.

So of course the greatest evil mastermind of the 21st century escapes the lab! Determined bun. Strong bun. But alone bun. All in the cold with no idea how survival works. Bunnyblade is well familiar with human lifestyles due to deciphering human languages and that one time he stole a phone and discovered the internet (with unlimited access for an entire night! THOSE FOOLS! Those moronic scientists scarcely comprehend the monster they’ve made!). But human society turns out to be very discriminatory towards rabbits with no income, and Bunnyblade is at the mercy of the elements.

Cue Philza finding what’s obviously someone’s pet trying to eat plastic turf grass. Cue him frantically chasing down a frightened bun across the neighbor hood so he can return it. (Blast! They’ve hired goons to catch him!) Except- what the hell, this rabbit seems to be evading him no matter what. And Phil starts getting tricky with trying to corner it, but it never seems to work. But in yet another desperate bid to outrun the determined little bun, he smacks into a small child, smelling his ice cream cone. After Tommy is done cursing the stranger to hell and back, he decides he’ll show up Phil by catching the rabbit cause he’s faster and smarter and handsomer!

And then stranger Kristin sees Phil making an absolute dorky fool of himself trying to save a frightened bunny and immediately thinks oh I can’t Not wife him she should help. So now they’re flirting in between absurdly elaborate schemes to trap the bun.

More and more goons are after Bunnyblade! This is TERRIBLE! They must know his secret plans to overthrow the government! It gets up to like 20 different people chasing him around the park. His heart is racing as fast as a rab- erm- okay immediately after he takes over the government he’ll rewrite all English idioms to be more rabbit inclusive, but until then- his heart is beating so fast it hurts, throbbing in painful desperation as more and more humans hunt him down in roaming packs. There’s so many he can’t ever stop running, knowing the second he’s caught he’ll be dragged back to the lab. It'll be so much harder to escape next time, maybe impossible. Never to see the outside world again. No warm sun tousling through his white fur. No soft grass beneath his feet, healing the lines scored into toe beans by wire cage floors. No. Bunnyblade can’t go back to the lab.

So he runs. And runs. Little body aching, unused to to wide open spaces but so desperate to become used to freedom.

Philza keeps being this close to capturing the bun. Mere whiskers off! Everyone is getting more and more invested in helping, feels like half the town is chipping in. There’s multiple teams competing for who captures him first. Philza isn’t sure how, but he’s somehow become the leader, coordinating groups and strategies since somehow the rabbit manages to get capture efforts tangled up in each other to thwart both teams. Tommy insists he’s in charge, though, and to appease the twerp a little Philza says the bunny’s name is ‘Technoblade’ when asked by the news crew. Tommy came up with it off of some kids show, seems to think it’s the raddest name ever.

The joke keeps getting tossed around that this is the reincarnation of Bugs Bunny, that this is a were-rabbit and they transform midday. But for the most part Philza really does this think is a normal, albeit insanely fast and lucky, rabbit. Until when he’s right on the bun’s tail, hurling himself at them in a desperate bid to finally catch them-

Concussion. Right. P-probably just a concussion haha! And after 20 million schemes 6 trips to the ER and enough carrots* to feed a small country, (*carrot thing is a myth but Phil is dumb he don’t know that),

...they catch Technoblade. Philza is cradling the bunny to his chest and -oh, oh he’s so small and soft. Could probably be held in one hand were he not thrashing so much. Philza pants in exhaustion, grinning triumphantly. Around him everyone erupts in the quietest cheers imaginable.

Technoblade is shaking badly. His fluttering heart never seems to calm even as Philza gently strokes them. His struggles are weak, poor thing worn out from fending off dozens of persistence predators. But he's safe now.

And elsewhere, a click of a spacebar on the live news story. The screen zooms in on a blurry glimpse of the escaped lab subjected. His large, terrified red eyes that almost seem to glow.

A long, long sigh, and a latex-gloved hand picks up a phone. “We found it. But it purposefully got as many eyes on it as possible.”

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electrificata · 2 years ago

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Mutual 1: hurtling towards the gigantic limestone aurochs again btw

Mutual 2: none of you have ever had sex, unlike me, im having sex right now

Mutual 4: eating a full lemon, yes with the rind #NoScurvy

Mutual 5: you cant possibly imagine how difficult it is to be the 21st century incarnation of maximillien robespierre

Mutual 6: *6-armed purple leopardtaur with her tits and dick and balls out* If you even care.

Mutual 7: gifset of two gangly guys from a 70s sitcom making eyes at each other

Mutual 8: none of you have ever had sex, unlike me, im having sex right now

Mutual 9: i need roddy mcdowell to murder me or i'll die

Mutual 10: you cant possibly imagine how difficult it is to be the 21st century incarnation of maximillien robespierre

Mutual 11: *pics from a 90s fashion show with 9 filters over them*

Mutual 12: poll: favorite outfit worn by a character you cant remember during one particular episode of a show you did watch

Mutual 13: #honestly her toxic pussy makes me such a misogynist (tag on image of 40smth actor man)

Mutual 14: the phoenixgirls are setting fire to the dmv!! Its enrichment for them dont worry :)

Mutual 15: server room wire gore images

Mutual 16: 10 ur old meme

Mutual 17: vaguing me

Mutual 18: Let me learn you a thing! Yes i am 35 years old

Mutual 19: people need to stop trying to erase crowley's influence on 20th century magical practice, like we KNOW he's a lying piece of shit but if you wanted to avoid this stuff you should have stayed out of western occultism and kept watching steven-

Mutual 20: if you guys were less panphobic we could still listen to hamilton without getting clowned on

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wherepond · 4 months ago

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The Grayzone

Technofeudal ecstasy

Max Blumenthal is joined by Patrick Henningsen of 21st Century Wire to discuss Elon Musk's megalomaniacal meltdown and the CIA-centric podcast fraudsters who handled the alleged cybertruck bomber's manifesto.

#Max Blumenthal #Patrick Henningsen #The Grayzone #21st Century Wire #Elon Musk #Elon Musk's megalomaniacal meltdown #Elon Musk's meltdown

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ssa-dado · 1 month ago

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Hi! So following up from your (incredible) breakdown of Hotch's apartment, I've always wondered why stayed in the apartment to raise Jack after Foyet/100 and I'd love to hear your thoughts about it!

Obviously, his and Haley's marital house was out after everything but the same apartment he got stabbed in is wild to me and to then to Jack who was held hostage by the guy who stabbed Hotch by the dining table? I get if it was for security with less points of direct entry but Foyet got in??? Is there a garden or green space for Jack to play in? Does Hotch do a background check on all new tenants?

Anyway, this is not anti-apartment slander because I happily live in one myself but I'm so interested in why Hotch would since he clearly has the means (Rolex watches are not cheap lmao) and this feels like the right platform to discuss it haha what do you think?

Breaking down Hotch's apartment layout until someone from Criminal Minds slides into my DMs with the damn floorplans: (The Empire Strikes Back)

I’ve thought about this a lot (maybe too much) and I honestly believe Hotch stayed in that apartment building for a mix of reasons. It’s not just one thing. Maybe one factor weighed heavier than the others, but ultimately, I picture him doing one of those classic pros and cons lists, like the fussy man he is, and letting the whole picture guide the decision... does it make sense??

Now, if we look at the architectural typology of his building, we know it follows a comb-plan layout - meaning it features two semi-enclosed, semi-public green spaces that are open toward the street. (I even made a little sketch to visualize it because I’m a visual learner... Like, I don’t know what “Hotch’s hands” means until I see them. Someone please send references...pls???)

That said, the green spaces aren’t the reason he stayed. Sure, the building has them, but they’re likely shared among all tenants, mostly decorative, and maybe even off-limits in terms of actual use (some buildings do that.. yikes). Plus, they’re super open to the street, which means they’re not really safe or private enough for Jack to play in.

So I don’t think the green spaces themselves were the selling point.

I think he stayed because of the overall architectural quality of the building. It's a historic structure (from mid 1920s-1930s??) that’s been carefully restored, updated with 21st-century systems and amenities, and built with high-quality materials and finishes. Maybe there’s a park nearby where Jack can actually play safely. Maybe it’s closer to his school. It also doesn’t strike me as a suburban area, which could be another plus - city life offers access to public transportation, shops, cultural spaces, sports activities… all of which might've played into the decision.

I am so so so so here for this headcanon and I fuck so much with the background check idea because yes, he absolutely asked Garcia for help and no, he doesn’t think that was an overstep. It was a precaution. For Jack.

Also, I’m convinced he’s very active in the tenant community.

He’s the one who created the condo group chat - no one asked him to, but it’s impeccably organized, with pinned messages and!!! a color-coded spreadsheet of recycling days (I'm European, this is wired into my DNA, sorry) he made himself at 3 a.m. on Excel. He barely answers texts from his team, but the second someone reports “unusual noises near the trash chute,” he’s replying in 0.3 seconds with “What time? Which floor?”

Sure, he’s fussy about noise (especially when he’s actually home) but he’s also the one everyone turns to when the building manager starts power-tripping or the garbage hasn't been collected. You’ve got a broken washing machine? Hotch already emailed the landlord and the building’s legal obligation clause. Trash not yeeted? He’ll yeet it himself. The man has a complex Google Drive dedicated to tenant rights #prosecutor!Hotch

I will die on the hill he is a chatty grandma. Sure, he’s serious, but he knows everyone’s business, and somehow people trust him with their extra keys and gossip. He's fbi, he's cunty, he has great hair... hello???

(Like, you knock on his door and say, “Sorry to bother-” and he’s already saying, “Your cat escaped again? He's in apartment 127, do you need anything else?”)

Another reason I think he stayed in that apartment is because, most likely between s3 and 4, he started spending some time there with Jack. I’m not sure how the co-parenting with Haley worked logistically, but I can easily imagine him having Jack over on weekends when he wasn’t working, or at least trying to carve out that time. And that apartment became part of Jack’s routine, part of what "home" felt like to him, Hotch probably couldn’t bring himself to move.

I don’t think Hotch stayed there for himself. Psychologically of course, it’s not the healthiest choice (he was literally stabbed there by Foyet) but it is the best choice for his son. And unless you’re talking about his job, Jack always comes first.

And Hotch… Hotch always comes last.

I think he bottled everything up. I don’t even think he fully let himself consider that the apartment might be an unhealthy place to stay in. If the thought of moving did ever cross his mind, I’m almost certain it wasn’t about him. It wasn’t “I don’t feel safe here,” it was: What if someone breaks in again? What if Jack’s here? What if it happens when I’m not home?

He stayed because Jack knew that place. Because changing homes again would be another loss. Another shift. Another instability. And Hotch would rather carry the weight of that trauma alone than risk making his son feel displaced.

Sooooo... yep. That's it. I guess.

Thank you so so so so much for the ask!!! I'm so so so curious to know what are YOUR! thoughts!!

#ask phi #hotch's dream home #archi phi #aaron hotchner #phi mansplains architecture #some headcanons made its way into the post... sorryyyyy #Hotch x tenant!reader (me) when???

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somehow-a-human · 1 year ago

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I am officially praying to the Universe and Amazon executives to give us Good Omens Season 3 episodes weekly (or at the very least daily).

As much as I am a human of the 21st century and hard wired to want immediate gratification, can you imagine what it would be like to get weekly drops for season 3?

Can you imagine what an insane 6 weeks it would be here on Tumblr while season 3 aired? And if not 6 weeks, even if they managed to do it as daily drops, can you imagine that week? It would be like a goddamn festival, a celebration, and it would be insane. Things would be trending off the charts while people watched the episodes over and over again breaking them apart while they wait for the rest. We would all be discussing everything and theorizing and gushing over every little piece!

Look, I'm not going to be disappointed by any means if I can melt into my couch for 6 hours and consume the entire finale of this story, but if it gets stretched out man, wouldn't that be an experience for us all?

#good omens #good omens meta #crowley x aziraphale #good omens theories #good omens 2 #david tennant #michael sheen #good omens 3

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drama--universe · 7 months ago

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Hospital Love

Requested by @creepypastacrazier93: Hey hey! I was wondering...how about a Jiang Cheng x 21st century reader oneshot? I won't elaborate, I'll leave it to your imagination :-) good luck and thx!

Pairing: Jiang Cheng x reader

Word Count: 1.6k words

Jiang Cheng couldn't help but groan as he exits the restaurant, removing his tie after yet another unsuccessful date. It was the fourth one this month already, another woman his mother had chosen for him. They were all too preppy for his liking, none interesting in any way for even a second of the date. All of them were just daughters of other wealthy businessmen, spoiled and rotten. He had a headache from this date, the girl her voice had been shrill and annoying, especially because she wouldn't shut her mouth for a single second. He got to his car and got in, slamming the door shut before groaning as he leans his head back against his car seat. With another loud sigh, he starts the car and gets ready to leave.

He takes the long route, wanting some peace and quiet before getting home. He didn't want to see his mother for now, knowing she'd yell at him for ruining another date. He drove as slow as he could, enjoying the view around him. The night might be cold and dark, but Jiang Cheng loved the night sight of nature. Most creatures were asleep, only the rare spotted nocturnal animal awake and flying or running around in absolute silence. Jiang Cheng couldn't help but look to the side as he watched the forest. He was, however, pulled out of his admiring by a loud car horn, eyes snapping to the front just in time so he could swerve out of the way for the other car that had swerved into the wrong lane. He felt the wheels of his car hit the side berm before hitting the guard rail, the car coming to a straight stop and sending Jiang Cheng flying forward. The seat belt stopped his movement and he felt his collarbone and maybe even a few ribs break, the airbags deploying and sending his head backwards. After a few minutes, he heard voiced beside him but his head was ringing and he could barely see due to his fuzzy vision. It felt like hours before he heard voices, not able to make out what they were saying. He felt people grabbing his body and dragging him out of the car, flashing lights and sirens surrounding him as people surrounded him. Asking questions to him, but he's unable to answer as he feels his vision blurring.

When he wakes up again, the first thing he sees is you. You're adjusting the wires on his chest that are connected to monitors, seemingly very focused on your task. He goes to speak, but stops when he feels a pressure in his throat and he moves his hands up to feel what was going on. You see him move and your eyes widen before you grab his hands.

"Just a second, you're attached to a breath monitor." You speak calmly before moving your hands up and grabbing the tube that went down his throat, carefully but quickly removing it so he could breath on his own. Once the tube was gone, Jiang Cheng took a deep breath in to fill his lungs. Once he is breathing again, he looks at you again but you speak before him.

"You're in the hospital, you had a car accident a few days ago. You took a big hit to your head and to your back and left leg, so you can't move too much." You explain shortly and he almost wants to scoff, but when he feels the ache in his body he realizes that he should swallow his pride and listen for once. He sighs heavily and looks up at the ceiling. He doesn't know how to feel for once in his life, whether to be annoyed that he was stuck in a hospital for a considerable time or glad that he had a decent reason to not come home for awhile. That meant while he'd be bored out of his mind, but no forced dates either.

And thus he stayed in the hospital, using the free time for healing both mentally and physically. He had days where he only had physical rehabilitation and others where he had mental evaluations to check if his brain didn't have some later damage.

All the while, you remained his nurse, always waking him up in the morning to change his bandages and check his vitals. Then you'd bring him some food, sneaking in some regular food sometimes for him to enjoy instead of the regular hospital food. The only times he didn't see you was when you were checking other patients or when he was at rehabilitation with another nurse or doctor. But some days, you'd stay with him for hours, just talking about basic things and as much as he disliked to admit it, he liked talking to you.

In fact, he couldn't live without it. He couldn't live without you.

The days he dreaded being in the hospital were quick to chance to dread of ever leaving the hospital and you. Even when he hated the food and the constant checks on his mental and physical health, he just didn't want to leave.

Unfortunately, however, he was being discharged today and he had no way of fighting back.

He sat in the hospital gardens, going over the paperwork for his discharge as slow as he could. He'd read and reread the papers, signing the papers where he was supposed to with his good hand while a small frown was on his face.

"Don't wanna leave, huh?" You walk closer to him, leaning down to see the papers. Jiang Cheng looks up to you before sighing as he put the pen down.

"It's certainly a mental workout to leave this hospital." He grumbles as he leans back in his seat and taking a deep breath of the fresh air. You sit down beside him and grin. "Yeah... It definitely is a chore." You chuckle. "So... What you going to do now then, huh? Go back to speed dating?" You tease and Jiang Cheng groans instantly, annoyed at just the thought of it. He gives you a playful glare before scoffing.

"Sure... I'll tell my mom to give you a chance then?" He decides to tease you, but there is a slight genuine tone to it that he hopes you don't pick up on. You do, however, and grin softly as you lean on the table with your elbow. "Mhm... Might as well give me your number." You tease back and you can see a soft tint of red on his face appearing, which makes you smirk softly as you stand up again.

"Get that paperwork finished, okay? No use for you to stay somewhere you don't need to be." You smile before walking off to continue to your rounds.

After he's discharged, it takes a few more weeks for him to get back to his usual life. Luckily his mother left his alone mostly, no blind dates until he looked "presentable". His mother's words, not his own.

But then, after two more months, he was sat in a restaurant again for yet another double date. He tapped his fingers on the table in annoyance as he waited for his date to arrive.

"Look, I don't feel like pretending, so I'm just going to say hi and leave-" You speak before pausing as you notice Jiang Chen sitting at the table that was meant for your double date. You pause as you look at him. "Wait... You're my date?" You stare at him with wide eyes as he looks up, seemingly just as shocked as you were. You blink before just sitting down opposite of him, putting your bag down.

"Don't mind if I stay then?" You grin as you look at him. He looks a bit confused, still dazed until he finally snaps out of it. "You're my date?" He asked, repeating your previous question again. You chuckle and nod. "Apparently, yes." You smile sweetly. He sighs softly, leaning back in his seat.

"Is this allowed..? Not that I don't you want be here! But since I was a patient of yours..?" He asks and you lean back, shrugging. "Well... It's not illegal or anything, but it can be frowned upon. It really just depends on the situation" You shrug before looking up as the waiter arrived.

The night passed by quickly as you ate and drank, the conversation never dying down at all. The topic changed every now and then, but neither of you got bored of the conversation.

Normally, Jiang Cheng would leave after half an hour to an hour of the date, but this time he stayed in the restaurant for longer. Even after two hours, he remained in place with pleasure. By the end of the evening, he just felt disappointed that it had to end. So he offers to ride you home, desperate for those extra minutes.

And now, you sat in his passenger seat of his car as he drove (very carefully, of course). The radio was on, filling the silent atmosphere with some soft music as he tried to make the drive as long s possible without making it too obvious. But eventually, he arrived at your house and parked the car with a soft sigh.

"Tonight was fun." You smile at him, unbuckling your seatbelt. He looks at you, nodding softly but not saying anything. You open the door before looking at him. Then you just impulsively lean closer and kiss his cheek softly. "Let's do this again sometimes..." You mumble softly, your face heating up a bit before you get out of the car and walk to your house. Jiang Cheng, meanwhile, is blushing furiously and almost wants to hit his head on the steering wheel to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

That day, Jiang Cheng couldn't wipe the smile of his face as he drove home.

#the untamed #untamed #mdzs #the untamed x reader #untamed x reader #mdzs x reader #the untamed jiang cheng x reader #untamed jiang cheng #the untamed jiang cheng #mdzs jiang cheng #mdzs jiang cheng x reader #untamed jiang cheng x reader #jiang cheng x reader #jiang cheng #reader insert #x reader #request

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